The McGill Tribune Vol. 24 Issue 12

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OPINION: Go on, waste time, watch TV You're a student after all.

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Curiosity delivers. Vol. 24 Issue 12

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Tribune PUBLISHED

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STUDENTS'

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FEATURE: Wanna live in the lap of luxury? These kids already do.

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A&E: If books are food for thought then our writers are hungry.

a g a i n s t

C h a r e s t

S tu d e n ts

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P H O T O S BY Y A S E M I N E M O R Y

Redmen and Martlets couldn't be feeling any different­ ly today after finishina finishing second at the CIS soccer finals.

The men's Cinderella story has the team swelling with pride, but the powerhouse women are crestfallen after letting a two-goal lead slip away in the second half. Dare to com­ pare the elation and devastation that Sunday has brought.

This Week in McGill Athletics N o v .

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M a rtle t B a s k e tb a ll v s R e d m e n

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means people use," said Vickie Pouliot, a first-year Music student at Université du Québec à Montréal and one of 1 0 ,0 0 0 to 1 2 ,0 0 0 protesters Denouncing the provincial gov­ across Quebec. "I don't think this will ernment's plan to cut $ 103-million change much. I came to do this from student financial aid, la because I'm not in agreement [with Fédération étudiante universitaire du the government], but protests like this Q uébec led a provincewide protest achieve nothing."

Although most of the McGill stu­ Wednesday.

Earlier that day, Premier Jean - dents at the protest won't be directly Charest defended his plan before the affected by the cuts to student aid, National Assembly, reiterating his many of the approximately 2 0 0 who attended came to show solidarity with commitment to what he has called one of his government's biggest prior­ other Quebec students.

"It's something we expected," ities—education.

"W e have reinvested about said Students'. Society Vice-President $700-million in education," Charest (Community and Government) Daniel Friedlaender. "Students had indicated said. "We have the most generous loans and bursaries system in North that they care about the people who America today. Seventy million more have seen cuts, and were just as will­ ing to come." will be spent this year under the loans Blake Sifton, an out-of-province and bursaries program than last U1 Political Science and International year."

Development Studies student, chose Education Minister Pierre Reid, responding to opposition criticism por­ to have his voice heard for a greater traying the government as deaf to stu­ goal.

"It may be unrealistic to ask that dent protests, upheld the Liberal posi­ tion while admitting that the cuts were the government reverse what it does," difficult. He did add, however, that he said. "We are making sure they know we are not accepting this." they are necessary to pay Quebec's Nick Vikander, FEUQ vice-presi­ professors. dent (university affairs), was more "We have made this decision ultimately for one reason: to assure optimistic about the effect of the that the degrees of the [protesting] stu­ protests on public and government dents will be quality degrees," he opinion.

"We feel good about the num­ said. ber of students we got While some student leaders and many protesters were skeptical that [Wednesday]," he said.

Vikander sees student protests as the protest will effect immediate or concrete changes in Liberal student a means to gather support and pres­ aid policy, most agreed that partici­ sure the government on issues related pating in the protest sent a message to student life and financial aid. He to the government that students will pointed out that the large turnout will not tolerate policies that harm the most vulnerable.

See PROTEST page 2.

"I think the protests are the

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AN D R EW BAUER & LAURA SABA

T hough the medals around their necks are the same, the

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C o n g r a tu la tio n to M a r tle t & R e d m e n S o c c e r fo r a n o u ts ta n d in g p e r fo r m a n c e a t th e C IS C h a m p io n s h ip

A N G L E S

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Flight for your rights C a n a d a w e lc o m e s g a y influx

NEWS

Forty schools participate in peaceful protest

J O S H W IL N E R

Charest and Reid defend their financial aid policy Continued from cover provide bargaining power to the Liberal Party youth wing when its members meet with Charest this week to demand a reversal of the policy.

"Students going out in the thou­ sands and thousands on a cold November afternoon shows very clearly that the students are behind what we're doing," he said. "The point is to get them to change their

the plan to cut $ 103-million doesn't compare to past reductions in spend­ ing.

Both SSMU and la FEUQ have been working with the Liberal Party and its youth wing. SSMU representa­ tives have met with provincial MNAs and will attend the Liberal convention this weekend. University executives say that they intend to co-operate with the Liberal youth and present a unified front to the Liberal Party leadership on the loans and bursaries issue.

"The number of U.S. citizens visiting Canada's main immigra­ tion W eb site has shot up six-fold as Americans flirt with the idea of abandoning their homeland after President Bush's election win this week."

—Maria ladinardi, Canadian immigration ministry spokeswoman

yes, but at the same time it's within what we had hoped for and predict­ ed based on previous turnouts."

Becker was more candid, plac­ ing the blame for student apathy on SSMU executives' shoulders.

"I think the commitment from this year's executive, apart from the vicepresident (community and govern­ ment] and the committee has been despicable," she said. "One of the major ways SSMU can exert influ­ ence on behalf of its constituents is

n the day after the November 2 presiden­ tial election in the US, traffic on C an ad a's Department of Citizenship and Immigration W eb site hit an all time high, according to immi­ gration ministry spokesperson Maria ladimardi.

First there was brain drain and now, gay drain. That's what they're calling it, any­ how. George W. Bush, a.k.a. preacher-in-chief, gets himself re-elected—wefl, elected—and the professors, gays, and les­ bians start heading north for a warmer climate of opinion.

Com passionate conservatism has all the warmth and pro­ gressiveness of a glacier.

But C anada is turning up the heat, and we may soon be swimming in expat Americans.

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for them to be married.

C a n ad a may be facing a boom in marriage tourism (and maybe, soon, the Amsterdam effect). Can't tie the knot at home, you say? Come to Canada! W e can hook you up good. N iagara Falls resorts even feature special same-sex marriage all-inclusive (except for the opposite sex) pack­ ages. Interested parties can check out www.gayniagara.com, which proclaims, "Niagara Falls has been the honeymoon capital of the world for decades. Now N iagara is the gay and les­ bian marriage capital of the world."

While C anada's unique marriage laws designate it as a worldwide leader on the same-sex marriage issue, this

Compassionate conservatism lias all the warm th and progressiveness o f a glacier.

III!

VLADIMIR EREMIN / YASEMIN EMORY

Who is this effigy? Guess!—Students make papier mâché puppets of their least favourite politicians. mind. It's not just to demonstrate."

Friedlaender also hoped to achieve more than simply make noise through public demonstrations.

"We want the money back," he said. "Instead of putting money back in, [the government is] taking money from the most vulnerable students.

They're cutting [their] accessibility... that's the worst place to start when you do anything to a system."

Charest responded to similar condemnation at the National Assembly by promising to review a plan to compensate those with signifi­ cant student debt in proportion to their annual incomes. He also repeatedly criticized the Parti-Québécois for cut­ ting $ 1.8-billion from the education budget over eight years, arguing that

"We have had good [press] cov­ erage, the message has been clear, people are being supportive to our cause," Friedlaender said. "Now we need to go to the convention, keep lobbying, keep pressuring Reid, and have private meetings with [the provincial government] over the course of the week.”

While province-wide turnout was high considering the cold weather, Friedlaender and SSMU Provincial Affairs Commissioner Ashley Becker agreed that McGill's contingent was w eak com pared to most other schools.

"Obviously if w e do it again I'm going to have a lot of different ideas, do it a little differently," Friedlaender said. "It's a lot less than some schools,

through external lobbying, and by not doing so, they are not doing the best job they can."

Another reason for the low turnout was lack of information, she said.

"I think [McGill students] don't come out because they are not informed enough. You can't ask peo­ ple to come out and protest if they don't know, why they're there."

Officer Ian Lafrenière of the Montreal police department said that the protest went smoothly, and although many law enforcement offi­ cials were on hand in case of vio­ lence, there were no incidents.

"We're a lot of people now," he said, "but w e [haven't had] to use them, so it's super-good." ■

« ■

Last week, the Tribune reported that our great university hired almost three times more American professors this year than in 2 0 0 0 . Apparently fed up with the Bush administra­ tion's theopolitics, academics in the US are hightailing it out of the "Excited States of America," the "land of the flee,” in favour of our true north, strong and free.

They are not alone. After voters approved state constitu­ tional amendments banning same-sex marriage in Arkansas, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Mississippi, M ontana, North Dakota, Ohio, Oklahom a, Oregon, and Utah by an overwhelming average of 7 0 per cent of the vote, the gay drain, and not just the brain drain, has set in.

The two, of course, are not mutually exclusive, and even a cursory perusal of newspapers across C anada and the US since the American election reveals numerous human-inter­ est stories on Americans—gay, professors, both, neither or oth­ erw ise-planning to pack up and ship out to C anada.

C anada may prove to be the crucible of the same-sex marriage debate, the focal point not just for Americans, but for the world. Consider this: C anada is the only coun­ try in the world that grants mar­ riage licenses to couples in which neither partner is a citi­ zen. All other countries require that at least one of the two people in a relationship be a native of that country in order

may prove an unenviable, even dangerous, position.

Peacekeeping is one thing, being on the front lines, anoth­ er. Limelight usually makes for good target practice.

Countries valuing their legal sovereignty and opposed to same-sex marriage may begin taking aim at this great country, out in the lead. It gives new meaning to "cover your ass."

The Globe and Mail reported on November 10 that C anada may have unwittingly becom e the "domino" that activists use to kick-start the international reform of mar­ riage. According to the report, gaining legal recognition of a pre-existing marriage is- much easier than changing marriage laws, and the EU constitution, for example, does not restrict marriage to heterosexuals.

Quick, someone call Hans Blix. Canadian marriages are fast becoming w eapons of mass conjunction.

In my view, the state should be there to protect the family, not to legislate what a family is. In this era of Fox throwaway love, where wife­ sw apping on "Trading Spouses: M eet Your N ew Mommy" counts as entertain­ ment and the institution of mar­ riage is little more than an insti­ tution of annulment and infideli­ ty-w itness shows like Cupid, The Bachelor, and M y Big Fat Obnoxious Fiancé—w e need all the authentic nuptials we can get, irrespective of gender combinations. Bring on the gay drain. ■

the mcgill tribune | 16.11.04 | news

CAMPUS

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MUS accreditation stalls E x e c u tiv e s n e w

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RO BERT C H U R C H The Management Undergraduate Society, which is currently trying to become accredited by the Q uebec government, has been forced to wait until the spring of 2 0 0 5 to reapply.

While other undergraduate soci­ eties at McGill have had no problems with their own accreditation proce­ dures, MUS did not file the necessary paper work after a referendum on the issue passed last year. As a result, MUS will have to hold a second refer­ endum this spring.

Provincial guidelines dictate that any accreditation referenda—a mandatory part of the p roceduremust be passed before March 15, and

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agent at l'Université de Laval, said that while the process does not cost any money, there are certain stipulations that must be met for any application to be considered by the province.

"The first condition to obtain accreditation is to be incorporated," she said. "The second condition is to have a referendum, and obtain a majority of 'yes' votes with 25 per cent quorum. All students can vote, regard­ less of age."

She said that the principal benefit of accreditation is recognition by the university.

Students' Society Vice-President (University Affairs) and acting President Andrew Bryan said that while being accredited does not change many

YA SEM IN EM ORY

When Brandon Hughey enlisted in the United States army at ag e 17, he thought he would be fighting for a just cause. The war in Iraq shattered that image for him, and Hughey is currently a fugitive from his own country.

Hughey, a 19-year-old army deserter from Texas, spoke Thursday about his fight to win refugee status in Canada.

Army recruiters persuaded Hughey to enlist with promises of a university education and a $ 5 ,0 0 0 signing bonus—one he never received. By the time he was sup­ posed to go to Iraq, he said, officials were already questioning whether Iraq had ties to the international terror­ ist group Al-Qaeda, prompting US President George W. Bush to shift his position to one of "liberating the Iraqi people."

Though his parents are staunch Republicans who initially supported the war, Hughey said, they had always taught him to defy authority if he felt it was the right thing to do.

Hughey claimed that the Iraq war is illegal under the Geneva Convention and the United Nations Charter of Rights. Under the circumstances, he said, it became his duty to escape the contractual obligation he accept­ ed upon enlisting.

Hughey, one of six American deserters who have publicly escaped to C anada, received a standing ova­ tion. "[Hughey] gave me hope about Texans,"' said Matt Wiviott, U2 Architecture. "It's very reassuring to hear Americans talk about [the war in Iraq]."

Hughey was joined by three other speakers: University of Ottawa professor Michel Chossudovsky, Paul Klopstock, president of Quebec's

RACHEL BACHER

US army deserter fights for refugee status in Canada.

Artists for Peace, and Kirwyn Cox, a Vietnam W ar draft dodger who came to McGill in 1964.

Chossudovsky argued that it was legal for Hughey to abandon the field because the war's cause broke national and international law, and thus violated the military oath.

Members of the military swear to obey only legal orders of the com­ mander-in-chief during war.

He also discussed a North American Aerospace Defense com­ mand agreement Canada signed in December 2 0 0 2 that allows land and sea deployments of US troops on Canadian soil. Calling this the end of Canadian sovereignty, Chossudovsky urged collective defi­ ance of the US military.

Hughey's refugee board hear­ ing has been postponed. Canadian Quakers are supporting him in the meantime. New Democratic Party leader Jack Layton has promised to bring Hughey's case to Parliament if

the government denies his request.

Hughey does not expect to lose his claim on appeal, but if he does, C anada will return him to the US. There the military will try him for trea­ son, which carries a maximum penal­ ty of death.

"I don't ever expect to return to the US," Hughey said.

Klopstock called for public awareness and lobbying on behalf of war resisters. He told audience mem­ bers to write their MPs, sign petitions, and, above all, discuss the situation.

Cox described the network of people who helped Vietnam draft dodgers and deserters, and expressed his hope that Canadians will provide the same assistance to Iraq deserters.

Although world events can be disheartening, Cox said, this is also "a time of hope. Brandon is part of that." ■ —Additional reporting

by Andrew Bauer

What if the budding accountants waited a year to file your tax returns? all application documents must be sub­ mitted to the government before April 1.

Current MUS executives do not place blame on last year's committee, but do admit that there w as some mis­ understanding among the previous executive.

"There was a misunderstanding [last spring] with respect to when the application, the ballots, and papers had to be filed," said MUS Senator Kalanga Joffres.

Joffres said that despite the mis­ takes, accreditation would be helpful in giving the MUS more security and independence.

"There is no pressing need to get accredited, but we believe it is a good security that allows the MUS to be active on policy matters and properly representative without being at the mercy of the university administration, if it decides to delay the transfer of stu­ dent fees."

Accreditation grants students' soci­ eties many privileges, such as universi­ ty recognition of the society's mandate, office space, and furniture, and access to university buildings during business hours. In addition, an accredited soci­ ety is granted seats on university com­ mittees and councils and has the right to collect its own student fees. McGill presently retains one per cent of the fees it collects for MUS. Michele Gimgras, accreditation

daily activities of the societies, it does have a big impact on large negotia­ tions with the university.

"On campus here, at the faculty or university level, the university already provides 9 0 per cent of the rights that you get from accreditation," he said. "What it does change is when you get into letter of agreement negoti­ ations. It means that time is no longer on the university's side."

Bryan said that in the past, the university has threatened to withhold fees from students' societies if they did not agree to the administration's demands when negotiating letters of agreement. Now that large student associations at McGill, such as SSMU and the Arts, Science, and Engineering undergraduate societies, are accredit­ ed, they hold more bargaining power.

"It allows us to have a stronger footing in terms that w e're able to rep­ resent our constituency better, and have a bit more leverage with the university," Bryan said.

U1 Management student Greg Buxton-Forman said that if other large faculty associations at McGill are accredited, MUS should not be left out.

"I think that it's good for the MUS to have more bargaining power with the university," he said. "I don't want MUS to be a push-over if the Arts and Science students are able to have more leverage with the administration." ■

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news | 16.1104 | the mcgill tribune

NEWS

ANALYSIS

a d m i s s i o n s , r e c r u it m e n t a n d r e g is tr a r 's o f f ic e

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Im p o r ta n t D a te s fo r S tu d e n ts

2 0 0 4 / 2 0 0 5 C la s s S c h e d u le

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T u e sd a y , N o v e m b e r 3 0 ,2 0 0 4 • L a st d a y o f c la s s e s fo r c o u r s e s t h a t fo llo w

HEATHER H A Q LAWRENCE

th e T u e s d a y -T h u rs d a y s c h e d u le .

cGill has recently implemented several new environmental policies and other environ­ mentally friendly initiatives, but concerned students have observed that progress is slow and leaves many environmental issues unaddressed.

"Certainly, by comparison to [the] University of British Columbia, or even [the] University of Toronto, we perform quite poorly" in terms of addressing environmental issues, Students' Society Environmental Commissioner Kim D'Souza said.

In recent years, however, McGill has made sig­ nificant strides toward becoming more environmen­ tally conscious. The creation of the Senate Subcommittee on the Environment and the adoption of an environmental policy in 2001 were important steps, said Kathleen Ng, McGill's first environmental officer.

M

T h u rs d a y , D e c e m b e r 2 ,2 0 0 4 • L ast d a y o f c la s s e s fo r c o u r s e s n o rm a lly h e ld o n ly o n M o n d a y s ( 3 - h o u r b lo c k s ). (U n le s s t h e in s tru c to r h a s m a d e o th e r a rra n g e m e n ts ).

F rid a y , D e c e m b e r 3 ,2 0 0 4 • L a st d a y o f c la s s e s fo r c o u r s e s t h a t fo llo w t h e M o n d a y -W e d n e s d a y -F rid a y s c h e d u le .

T u e sd a y, J a n u a ry 4 ,2 0 0 5 • F irs t d a y o f c l a s s e s f o r W i n t e r T e r m .

• O n th is d a y , s t u d e n t s s h o u ld fo llo w th e ir

action," Lee said. "For a university not to be able to get it right is shameful."

There needs to be more of a commitment to start a proper recycling system, and enough resources available so that it can be run effectively, she said.

"I would really like to see a working recycling program—one that doesn't periodically involve throwing recycling away," said Greening McGill Coordinator Andrew McKinley.

The slow progress and glitches in current envi­ ronmental policies have not hindered the formation of new ideas and project proposals.

D'Souza, Lee, and McKinley emphasized the importance of energy conservation and said that simple actions could increase energy efficiency at McGill.

M o n d a y s c h e d u le .

For further information and other important dates in the academic year, please consult www.mcgill.ca/student-records/dates.

9 McGill

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"I w o u ld really like to s e e a w orking recycling p ro g ra m —o n e that d o esn 't periodically involve throw ing recycling a w a y. "

—Greening McGill Coordinator Andrew McKinley Other initiatives—such as the development of a Green Building policy, paper conservation policy, strategic transportation plan, and bike share pro­ gram—are in the works. However, D'Souza and Ng agreed that progress on these issues can be gruelingly slow.

For instance, the proposed recto-verso paper policy, which "involves fairly inexpensive but envi­ ronmentally significant actions such as setting photo­ copy machines and printers to print double-sided as a default and accepting double-sided student home­ work," has yet to be approved by the university sen­ ate, according to Michelle Lee, a Greening McGill coordinator.

The delays in implementing this policy have been frustrating for the environmentally conscious.

"It's a remarkably easy step for the administra­ tion to take, and it should be a no-brainer to say, 'Yes, McGill will implement this universitywide,"' D'Souza said.

Even as students are frustrated about the slow implementation of proposed policy changes, current environmental policies, such as the recycling pro­ gram, are failing to live up to expectations.

Not only is there a shortage of recycling bins on campus, but much of the recyclable material col­ lected ends up in garbage dumps, something that Ng said is an ongoing problem.

"Recycling is_such a simple and fundamental

"Implementing cheap and low-tech measures like low-flow toilets and low-energy light bulbs could have a really huge impact," McKinley said.

He believes that McGill has the ability to launch many of these projects.

"In many cases, it isn't even a matter of cost or lack of expertise, it is simply a lack of effort," he said. "We have so many experts and brilliant peo­ ple at McGill, and their input isn't taken into account in planning."

For example, he said that ample knowledge on how to create green building projects exists at the university, but buildings constructed in the last year have not incorporated any green strategies or energ^reduction measures.

However, the bureaucracy and administrative hurdles are not the only obstacles in qreeninq McGill.

"There's still a huge lack of awareness at the level of most of the staff and students," D'Souza said. "As a university, McGill is expected to be a community that leads. This is something that Principal Heather Munroe-Blum has repeatedly emphasized."

McKinley said it comes down to a fundamental question.

"Are we willing to sacrifice a little bit now to ensure clean air, water, dnd land for the future? This may seem clichéd, but I think it... must be taken to heart." ■

QUOTABLES

NEWS

"As former Chancellor [judge] Allen has said, the most interesting corporate law cases involve the color gray, with con­ tending parties dueling over close questions of law, in circumstances when it is possible for each of the contestants to cbim she was act­ ing in good faith Regrettably, this case is not one of that variety. "

BRIEFS

Spill empties Stewart

The Stewart Biology building shut down for about eight hours Thursday after­ noon after a chemical spill.

According to the Gazette, an acid-filled plastic container ruptured. No injuries were reported.

"We were all in lab and all of a sudden it started to smell really terrible," said Emily Jane McTavish, U2 Biology.

Classes were cancelled and most students left.

"It's a six-hour lab," McTavish said. "It's kind of epic, so we were all excit­ ed."

—USJudge Leo Strine, invoking an injunction against Canadian media mogul Conrad Black's sale of his controlling stake in Hollinger International. In a civil lawsuit, the US Securities and Exchange Commission charge that Black tunneled US$85-million from Hollinger, which owns the Telegraph, for personal use.

—JenniferJett ASPRIM EM INISTER.COM

the mcgill tribune | 16.11.04 | news

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SEPAND TEHRANI

Information about the IsraeliPalestinian issue is skewed, said a photographer-turned-filmmaker who was at McGill to preside over the Canadian debut of his documentary.

Andrew Courtney,, who has been working in the Palestinian territories for 16 years, premiered The Israeli Wall in Palestinian Lands on Wednesday. He described the film as an attempt at bal-

the material palpable to the public," he said.

The McGill chapter of Solidarity for Palestinian Human Rights invited Courtney to campus "in the context of the international week of solidarity against the apartheid wall," said President Rounwah Bseiso.

The'film was made when approxi­ mately a quarter of the barrier that sep­ arates parts of the West Bank from Israel had been completed, cutting off access at certain points to Palestinian farm-

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ancing a "historically imbalanced" ques­ tion.

"What we wanted to do here was encounter the people who are affected entirely by this wall, on their property, on their land, in their perceived historical country of Palestine," he said. "This wall is inside of Palestine territories. We made a determination to deal with just Palestinians here."

The other side of the narrative— which includes Israeli citizens, soldiers, and officials—was purposely not con­ sulted, he said, because he wanted to balance what information is usually pre­ sented to the public.

"Many of the materials we see have a pandering notion to what I call artificial balance—three Palestinians talking, three Israelis talking. This makes % ■

Mr V>*y* cch rh rr »mmdmttm o f 0 * i» in y r.V lir u l J.-

lands, water wells, and greenhouses.

According to the Israeli government, the primary purpose of this security fence is to prevent terrorists from crossing between densely populated Palestinian areas and Israel or its settlements.

Courtney's documentary, which did not elicit strong criticism from the audience, focused on how the wall affected the lives of Palestinians of differ­ ing social and economic backgrounds, including a businessman, a farmer, a 15-year-old music student, a young mother, an activist, and a member of the African Palestinian community.

Courtney said that his subjects gave an idea of the varied nature of the Palestinian people: "These are a diverse group of Palestinians'^ age, in gender, in culture, in occupation." ■

U p

to

S p e e d

— .

last month, a Toronto criminal lawyer beat a traffic ticket by arguing that the no-left-turn sign she ignored was not bilingual, even though she does not speak French. The city is now appealing the ruling, claiming that each such sign would cost $200 to replace. • The annual Christmas moving window display at Ogilvy's opened this week on rue Ste. Catherine. (Ooh la la!) • A Palestinian woman has named her newborn twins Yasser and Arafat after the late Palestinian leader who died on Thursday.

• An 117 ear-old girl was suspended for a week from a Los Angeles school for turning cartwheels, on the grounds that she could injure her­ self or other students. • Advanced special effects have enabled Tom Hanks to co-star with himself in the upcoming movie The Polar Express.

He plays five different roles in the film based on the children's Christmas book. • Two men who robbed a pastor at gunpoint in Kansas City left two important clues behind. The pas pastor had no cash on his person, so names on them. ue: with their correctly spelled he wrote the men cheques :, Raelians have pu published a report that says 85 .per cent of , American citizens will face self-destruction due to President Bush's reelection. • Publishers Holt, Rinehart & Winston and Glencoe/McGraw-Hill were asked to define marriage as the union between a man and a woman in their health textbooks before the Texas Board of Education would approve them. • The residents of a small village in India have been spending the night near the local ■i p . i police station for the last four years to prevent their belongings from being stolen. • McGill has come second to the University of r v m » fs Toronto in the Medical-Doctoral category yet again in the nt». m i; vc.

Maclean's magazine's annual rankings of Canadian universi­ ties. Sorry HMB, better luck next year. i for him gicv Sources: The Associated Press, cnn.com, - -> ;« t * f«t* ■rouir ham i

■myway.com, cananova.com, Maclean's

MESSAGE URGENT DE L'AFE URGENT MESSAGE FROM THE AFE Arâft financière aux études

Québec Votre certificat de garantie sera bientôt disponible!

Dès le 15 novem bre, vous pourrez aller chercher l'enveloppe contenant votre certificat de garantie et votre convention de prêt au bureau d'aide financière de votre établissement d'enseignement.

Vous devez vous rendre à votre établissement financier dans les meilleurs délais, ou au plus ta rd ie 17 décem bre, pour que l'aide financière soit déposée dans votre compte le 6 ja n v ie r. Le versement de l'a id e sera re ta rd é de quelques jours si vous remettez votre certificat de garantie et la convention de prêt à votre établissement financier après le 17 décem bre.

Pour information, veuillez com m uniquer avec le Service d'aide financière de l'Université McGill au (514) 398-6013.

Your G u a r a n t e e

C e r t if ic a t e

will soon be available!

Starting on N ovem ber 15, you can go to the financial assistance office at your educational institution and pick up the envelope containing your Guarantee Certificate and your Loan Agreement.

Please visit your financial institution as soon as possible or by Decem ber 17 a t th e la te s t so that the financial assistance can be deposited to your account on January 6. The winter installment w ill be delayed if you take your guarantee certificate to the financial institution a fte r Decem ber 17. \

For information, please contact the McGill Stu d en t Aid Office a t (514) 398-6013. '

\

^ th in k factory

o p in io n

Victims of McDonald's invasions get more than the food SAM C O F FM A N

Take it easy 'Never lose sight of this important truth, that no one can be truly great until he has gained a knowledge of himself, a knowledge which can only be acquired by occasional retirement. " —Johann Georg von Zimmerman ccording to the Queen's University free to choose whatever lifestyle suits our personal­ Journal, Kingston's homeowners ity and our ambitions, and neither approach would get rid of popular student should be regarded as deviant behaviour. What's social activities that define the school, important is the achievement of a good balance M m including Homecoming weekend— between work and play so as not to give ourselves the university's most anticipated event—in order to a quarter-life heart attack. cut down on noise and debauchery. One resident A good analogy for this idea can be exam­ stated his distaste for the "culture of boorish behav­ ined through the polarized faculties of Engineering iour some students see as a rite of passage" while and Arts. The latter breeds students who are not they are in university. Indeed, there are plenty of pressured by school until midterms are just around permanent residents in the McGill Ghetto who the corner. The excess of free time in between would not think twice about kicking its younger ten­ allows them to go to that party or take the week­ ants out of the area for similar reasons. Seeing as end off to go skiing. Students in Engineering, how­ how these people know what they are getting into ever, are forced to write exams and complete labs when they move into neighbourhoods with a high at a much more frequent pace. When they finally concentration of students, that solution is an impos­ do get their work done, their motives to play hard sibility. The question remains, though, is students' are significantly increased. boorish behaviour part of the territory of higher Stress comes in many different forms for differ­ ent people and it is not necessarily a bad thing. It education? Much more, is it necessary?

The old adage tells us to work hard, play is how we deal with our stressors that helps define harder. This is a rule to which everyone should our existence. Once we have realized our person­ adhere—but in his own way. In this city, "play" is al settings, it becomes that much easier to outline popularly defined as drinking hard throughout the our paths during and after university. The loutish weekend either at keggers or on the Main, as we conduct so often branded as a rite of passage, attempt to lower the rising stress levels that we and the notion perpetuated by films such as have accumulated from writing papers, exams, labs, and the like. Some The old a d a g e tells us to w o rk h a rd , p la y h ard er. This is a feel it necessary to party because it is the one time in rule to w hich ev e ry o n e should a d h e re . our lives where we can achieve ultimate independ­ ence while having relatively little responsibility. Animal House and Old School, should not be an Hence the social pressure to take advantage of indicator of the actual experience, but it does pro­ this small four-year window. vide a basic concept of relieving stress. You have The other side of the spectrum believes that a paper to write? Grab a pint instead. Chemistry smaller doses of the aforementioned are sufficient final the next morning? Go see a movie. Bills to to achieve rest and relaxation. Some may have pay? Spend that extra 10 bucks on something you experienced so-called independence during their will enjoy.

Later in life, we will experience higher levels high school years thanks to liberal parents and a carefree attitude toward secondary education, of stress that to some—those who did not take and have thus decided that university is going to proper stock of their university life—will come as a be the time when they buckle down. Further, oth­ surprise. We have the opportunity now to take it ers are purely driven to succeed and will spend easy by whatever measures we choose. It will not their Friday night at the library only to wake up the be iong before we become the older generation looking down on those immature young folks. next morning and study some more.

The workaholic approach is commendable, Some of us will look back enviously, others nostal­ but it is certainly not the healthiest. However, gically. Most, with any luck, will look back without because of our newfound independence, we are regrets. ■ 'a

L a c k in g

p r id e

un Gwang-young, a member of the South Korean organiza­ tion Citizens' Movement for Environmental Justice, does not 111! enjoy watching Morgan Spurlock's documentary Super Size Me. Recently the environmental activist, spurred by the fast food shockers in the film, undertook, a much-publi­ cized experiment in which he ate only fast food for almost a month.

Yun, who rather mournfully told reporters at a press conference on Saturday, "I miss kimchi jjigae more than you can imagine," wants to use his experience to convince Koreans to participate in a ban against fast food in Korea.

Watching Morgan Spurlock's documentary is certainly not a pleasant experience. In the movie, Spurlock embarks on a mission that H I eigiryear-olds envy and dieticians revile: he eats McDonald's, and only McDonald's, for one month.

He also stops exercising and keeps his walking to a minimum to repli­ cate the average American's daily workout. The result is shocking and sickening. Not only does Spurlock deposit a big pile of vomit outside his car window (which the camera­ man doesn't hesitate to zoom in on with glee), his sex life deteriorates, he becomes depressed, and he gains a whopping 25 pounds.

Super Size Me is just one of many recent attempts to inform Americans of what exactly they are eating when they walk into a fast food chain. In.Eric Schlosser's best­ selling book Fast Food Nation (Perennial, 2002), the author pro, vides a disturbing picture of what goes on behind the golden arch­ es—terrible working conditions, unsanitary slaughterhouses, and feces-filled meat. Continuing in the true American spirit of Upton Sinclair's 1906 book The Jungle, Spurlock and Schlosser, along with many others, provide exposés of 111 the evils behind mass food produc­ tion.

Those of us who have come to Y

o r

realize that fast food is not simply a harmless lunch but an insidious and evil poison might be alarmed to hear of its increasing popularity around the world. In McDonald's and KFC chains in China it is often impossible to find a seat during lunchtime, and in South Korea approximately 300,000 people eat McDonald's at least once a day. This is cultural imperialism at its worst, critics cry: not only are we forcing our tastes onto another nation, but those tastes can be harmful, even deadly, to the popula­ tion's health. Just as the British almost single-handedly created a huge demand for opium in China in the early 19th century by forcing the drug onto the market, Western fast food chains use clever advertis­ ing strategies to persuade people to buy their product.

But countries are getting more out of the globalization of fast food than pudgy tummies and heart attacks. Efforts of groups such as Yun's might be having some real effect, just as outcries like Spurlock's and Schlosser's may have helped to persuade McDonald's to abolish its super size option in the States: two weeks ago McDonald's Korea announced that it was cutting the price of some of its items by as much as 22 per cent, presumably in an attempt to stymie decreased sales.

The fact that Yun was inspired

by Super Size Me indicates that the exportation of cultural goods does not simply consist of the goods themselves; all the baggage that accompanies them at home goes into the mix as well. South Koreans get the food as well as the protests, the latter of which may take their cues from similar movements in North America. How popular would Super Size Me be in Korea if McDonald's did not exist there?

With the fast food invasion comes the whole shebang, clogged arter­ ies and health-conscious protests in one neat package. ■

a n ti-c o m m e r c ia lis t A N D R EW SEGAL

“he CBC program This Hour Has 22 Minutes has spent more than 10 years managing to entertain and engage viewers for, well, 22 minutes out of each half hour. But vhat about the missing eight minutes? Why aren't they capa­ ble of captivating our attention and appealing to our senses?

Why are TV advertisements in Canada such a vast wasteland of half-baked ideas and repeated clichés?

After years of careful observation (read: tons of time spent staring at the boob tube), it has becme apparent to me that there are no more than four distinct commercials airing in Canada at any one time. The numer is slightly higher around Christmas, an election, or the Olympics, but four is a pretty solid constant.

If you watch enough TV sans TiVo, this phenomenon becomes extremely grating. Who among us hasn't pined for the extravagant and elaborate American Super Bowl commer­ cials, only to have low-budget Canadiana foisted upon us instead? Does anyone enjoy being subjected to the same mindnumbing Harvey's ad at least twice during every programming break? I've actually watched the NCAA tournament games on

a Canadian station and then flipped back to the American net­ work for the commercials, if only for the variety—and I'm not the only person I know to whom this seems completely natural.

Even for those high-artsy types/budget-conscious students who eschew TV, this has far-reaching implications. Since ads are one of the most basic cultural products (as well as one of the shortest), it doesn't bode well for Canadians that we can't seem to do them justice. If, of all things, we can't come up with memorable, clever, humorous, visually noteworthy ads—or even merely competent ones that go beyond discussing the mer­ its of chocolate on a Tim Hortons strawberry tart—what hope do we have of creating world-renowned cinema and literature?

While ardent anti-American Canadians might spin this dis­ avowal of lowbrow artistic creation as indicative of a rejection of the rampant commercialism of our neighbours to the south, it actually signifies something far simpler. Our inability to hawk our wares in an interesting way shows a lack of pride in Canadian merchandise—another example of our backwards "mouse next to an elephant" industrial viewpoint. Instead, our corporate executives ought to show us, through a creative method of marketing their goods, why consumers should

choose them over a well-known American competitor.

However, there is one product group that manages to exclude itself from this media malaise. And, fortunately, this commodity and its ads are become more intertwined with cul­ ture north of the 49th parallel every year. I'm referring, of course, to beer.

What patriotic Canuck wasn't roused by Molson's "I am Canadian" campaign? Who wouldn't have loved to join in that "Out of the Blue" street hockey game? It seems that only the makers of our finest alcoholic beverages understand the need to keep Canadians both entertained and swelling with pride while they wait for their shows to resume. Following their iead, the rest of our marketing industry must crack this commercial conundrum and give us something worth watching during those forgotten eight minutes.

So, the next time your favourite show takes a couple min­ utes off, don't give in and watch any of the drivel that follows.

Instead, head to the fridge and grab yourself a beer. At least our brewers have earned your patronage. ■

the mcgill tribune | 16.11.04 | opinion

fôlcGill Tribune Curiosity delivers.

Edtor - in -C hief

Natalie Fletcher editor@tribune.mcgill.ca M anaging Editors

Katherine Fugler James Scarfone seniored@tribune.mcgill.ca N ews Edtors

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Daniel Chodos Lise Treutler arts@tribune.mcgill.ca Sports Editors

Mohit Arora Andrew Segal sports@tribune.mcgill.ca

7

Sacred cows

M o re

th a n

ju s t w a n k e r s ?

JEFF ROBERTS

jeff.roberts@elf.mcgill.ca

T hose who are cynical about student govern­ ment could hardly have been comforted by last week's Ikea e-mail. In the message, sent to every student on campus, Mark Sward urged his constituents to fill out an on-line survey drawn up by students from the Management faculty. This attitude, in which students are regarded—by their own elected representatives—as unpaid product testers for a large company, can only confirm sus­ picions that SSMU is fundamentally vacuous and a waste of money.

Tempting as it may be to dismiss Sward and friends as a pack of acronym-loving wankers, the future of Quebec universities is at too critical a juncture for undergraduates to remain entirely indifferent to student government. It is true that the institution is confusing, tedious, and wracked with petty politics. Nevertheless, the average stu­ dent, with a little effort, can quickly come to understand how student government works and why it is actually relevant. At a time when the Quebec post-secondary education system is on the verge of collapse, it is time McGill students made such an endeavour.

A quick primer on student government would go something like this: You pay several hundred dollars a year for a few dozen students to run the Shatner building, deliver services, and advocate your interests to the administration. Part of this money is transferred to yet another level of

representatives whose very existence is unknown to most students. These people use your money to work full-time and lobby the provincial and feder­ al governments over tuition levels and university funding.

The question, then, is about which lobby group McGill students should finance. Before deciding, students should remember that this uni­ versity remains drastically underfunded; its infra­ structure is crumbling and it is struggling to offer salaries that are comparable with those paid to profs at other institutions: One group is called FEUQ—a very power­ ful union of Quebec university students that has succeeded in forcing the provincial government to keep tuition fees frozen over the last several years. As a result, Quebec remains one of the few places left in North America where students from a working or middle-class background can afford to get a university degree. McGill finally joined FEUQ two years ago—overall, a good decision, as it brings this school into the commu­ nity of Quebec universities and robs nationalist demagogues of their traditional argument that McGill is a bastion of oppression that should be starved of cash as a means of furthering fran­ cophone solidarity.

McGill students also pay their money to CASA, which advocates moderate positions and directs their energy at the. federal government,

calling on Ottawa to restore money to provincial transfer payments. The tens of thousands of dol­ lars SSMU pays CASA have, until now, been a terrible investment; for years, the organization has been toothless and a puppet for the federal Liberal party. And, regardless of how much money Ottawa gives in transfer payments, CASA's cause is hopeless in that education spending is entirely a provincial jurisdiction.

While McGill's student government has finally been flexing some lobbying muscle in Quebec City, it remains forced to play a weak hand; as a. largely federalist institution, McGill is taken for granted by the provincial Liberals, and regarded with contempt when the PQ is in power. Compounding the difficulty for McGill stu­ dents is the fact that other Quebec universities are often ideological prisons where students take a hard line on all issues regardless of political or fiscal realities.

The ultimate challenge for McGill's student government, then, is to avert two sorts of calami­ ty. The first is an Ontario-style education model of corporate campuses attended only by the rich.

The other pitfall is creating a European-style uni­ versity where access is universal but the surround­ ing facility is in shambles and bereft of good pro­ fessors. These are hard questions with which more students should be engaging. Putting down the Ikea catalogue might be a start. ■

Swift kick

B o m b

Photo Editors

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th e

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w ith

th e

th e

p o p p y JEREMY MORRIS

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Chad Ronalds C ollaborators

Rachel Bâcher, Andrew Bauer, Dave Brodkey, Daniel Butler, Tim Chan, Robert Church, Susan Cooke, Simone Cruickshank, Celia D'Andrea, Hilary Elkins, Vladimir Eremin, Eric Fagen, Patrick Fok, Joseph Gilgoff, Paul Goertzen, James Grohsgal, Heather Haq Lawrence, Panthea Lee, Dan McQuillan, Devin Montgomery, Jeremy Morris, Melissa Price, Jeff Roberts, Scott Sameroff, Clara Schwartz, Julia Shonfield, Sepand Tehrani,Josh Wilner, Jacqui Wilson

L ast Sunday, my girlfriend Joanna and I went to see Hero, the Chinese martial arts extrav­ aganza with flying swords, archery, calligra­ phy, and much pageantry. Unfortunately, prior to the film, we were treated (a generous, word, as unlike TV there is no escape) to some of the most insipid, let alone offensive, commercials that we have ever seen.

By far the worst offender of the lot was seemingly the most benign. The scene opens with a distinguished Canadian General Lewis Mackenzie, the famed defender of Sarajevo no less, perched aloft the Cenotaph in Ottawa. As the camera cuts back and forth across the monu­ ment to highlight the stone faces of Canadian sol­ diers, Mackenzie delivers a stirring speech on remembering the sacrifices of Canadian veterans in defence of our country. The scene ends, and instead of fading out to a dignified plea for Remembrance Day, the commercial presents us with inspirational music and a lad in plaid on a beach.

I'm going to call him Chris and assume that he's from Mississauga. Now Chris is busy traips­ ing around in the sand looking baffled, as in, "Whoa, those are some pretty big cliffs and where is the booby beach that that Frenchie pam­

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13 T ribune O ffices

Editorial. Shatner University Centre, Suite 110, 3480 McTavish, Montreal QC Tel: 514.398.6789 Fax. 514.398.1750 Advertising. Brown Student Building, Suite 1200, 3600 McTavish, Montreal QC H3A 1Y2 Tel. 514.398.6806 Fax. 514.398.7490

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phlet was promising." Then Chris gets the bright phones?"

Soldier 1, "No, but he has a camera built idea to pull out his cellphone and dial his grand­ in." father.

Soldier 2, "Cool... Incoming!" [Soldier 2 is "Grandpa?" "What is it Chris?" "I'm in France." "Are the girls still as attractive as I blown to bits.]

Soldier 2, "Poor bastard, he'll never get to remember?" [Sly grin passes across grandfather's face as he remembers Carmen—the see text messaging."

Now the worst part of the ad is the shame­ Montparnasse strumpet who insisted, mid coitus, on calling him Klaus.] "Grandpa I'm at Dieppe." less use of war-movie clichés. You can tell that the [Pause, obligatory look to immediately available whole project was probably devised by a couple black and white photo of dead war buddies, sto­ of Western management grads, who watched ically withheld tears.] "I wish I was there too, Saving Private Ryan 36 times, and thought, "Hey, Chris." Fade out, "We are all connected" slogan I could make a commercial out of this." I was waiting for the moment when Chris would show and Bell Canada's logo.

What the fuck, people! And I thought "I am us a picture of his girl back home—"I haven't told Canadian" ads were obscene [patriotism the last Sandy about the two Swedish backpackers in refuge of a scoundrel). But mining our military his­ Barcelona yet''—before he steps on unexploded tory, let alone a painful bitter episode like the ordinance and ends the whole painful debacle.

Now, if we genuinely want to remember Dieppe raid, to sell cellphones is a new low.

Because, you know that's just what those soldiers what our veterans did for us, it won't be through were fighting for when they stormed that town. buying cellphones. We have to remember how Two bleeding soldiers cowering behind a burn­ they fought and why they fought. Maybe the ad did get something right; they fought for freedom ing tank on Dieppe beach.

Soldier 1, "Oh yeah, this will be so worth and maybe we should ask them what they it, in 50 years my grandson sends me a sappy thought that meant. I can tell you that being able to have an honest conversation with their loved message."

Soldier 2, "Is it one of those hot new flip ones played an important part. ■ CONTACT...

WHEREwsm mmBSÊKÊKKmmmmKm www.effusion.ca Dio (Milton & University)

WHO...

WHEN...

Effusion (Acapella Group)

Nov 19 7pm

Amnesty International McGill

Nov 26, 5-6pm

McGill Choral Society Concert

McGill Choral Society

L'Eglise St-Denis, 454 Nov 27, 7:30pm a v. Laurier E.

Toronto/Niagara Trip, $145

MISN

Nov 19-21

Judaism Awareness Days

Hillel

Nov 23-24, 12-4 Shatner Ballroom

P[h]assion Launch Party Fundraiser

MUS P[h]assion 2005

Nov 20

WHAT...

Live Your Dreams Fall Concert L Rex Brynan, Iraq Reconstruction

Leacock 26

Toronto/Niagara

Boodha Bar 1401 rueMackay

sasrabs1©hotmail.com 203.556.9065 mcgillchoralsociety@yahoo.ca 398.MISN

www.ssmu.ca/misn info@hillel.ca 845.9171

www.phassion2005.org

s- Y i ■■■-Y'/ ' 'H’ Advertise your event! For only a toonie, you can get a listing in the print and on-line editions of the Trib. Drop by the SSMU office (Brown Student Building, Suite 1200) to pick up a form. Deadlines are Fridays at 3:30pm. For more information, email calendar@tribune.mcgrll.ca.

The McGill Tribune is an editorially autonomous newspaper published by the Students' Society of McGill University, in collaboration with the Tribune Publication Society All submissions, including letters, Dispatch Box, Parry & Thrust and Reaction Enqine must include contributor's name, program and year, and contact information. Submissions may be sent by e-mail to oped@tribune.mcgill.ca. Any material judged by the Iribune rublication Society to be libellous, sexist, racist, homophobic, or solely promotional in nature will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit all contributions. Editorials are decided upon and written the editorial board.

All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper. Subscriptions are available tor S3U.UU per year.

8

opinion | 16.11.04 | the mcgill tribune

Ain't nothing but a P thang

Bird watching

M a g a z in e

S o ... t h is w e a t h e r , e h ? panthea.lee@mail.mcgill.ca

I t can happen anywhere, at any time. It is social torture. It is the Awkward Conversation— insignificant, trite repartee that neither party engaging in it cares about. Drawing from person­ al experience, the Panthea Institute of Over-analy­ sis will now review three main sources from which it stems.

The Stranger. It starts with the initial eye con­ tact. I catch their gaze and quickly avert my eyes.

I can feel it coming. Eventually, I look back, in hopes that they've moved on. D'oh! Not so. Our eyes meet again. The inevitable is about to occur.

"Hey," they say. I smile meekly. "So," they start. "[Insert any generic query or comment regarding my general well-being, the weather, where I go to school, etc]."

Don't they understand? I will lose it on the next stranger that asks me, "Where did summer go? Don't you hate this weather?" I'll tell you where summer went—it went to the Land of Original Conversation Starters. What did you think I'd say? That I love rainy, cold, miserable winter days? Here's a quarter; why don't you run to the Clue Store and buy yourself one?

The stranger, while common, is harmless.

You can choose to ignore them. The next two, however, are trickier to shake.

The Acquaintance. I stepped in the Puddle of Doom this morning. That bastard on the north­ east corner of Parc and Milton that looks like a frozen puddle but is actually deep, wet, and active. I just bombed an exam. I waited for an hour at the English department office for an advi­ sor only to be told, "Oh, you're in Cultural Studies? Sorry, I don't deal with that stream." And yet, when I run into Joe—some guy I met at Bifteck last weekend who went to high school with Jack's friend Mary—and get tossed the, "Hey, how's it going," I somehow manage a

daniel.butler@mail. mcgill. ca

PANTHEA LEE

smile and shoot back the most carefree "fine" I can muster. I try to keep walking—too bad, turns out Joe's a persistent little bugger.

"What's new?" he asks. "Oh, you know... the usual," I reply, as my feet shuffle the other way. "Oh yeah? Like what?"

I'm stuck. I try to resist, but in vain. It is com­ ing. I take my last step of freedom before my inner Ann Landers commands me to stop. I mum­ ble something about a crappy exam schedule, being swamped with work, and maybe going out sometime this week. It is painful.

The Ex. Brace yourself—the cringe-worthiest Awkward Conversations stem from this breed. I see him coming down the street and I consider bolting to the other side. Too late, he saw me.

We pass each other and exchange typical ex chitchat. Then, I feel it coming. I can't help it. I kick myself the second it leaves my lips but the words have a mind of their own. "So, how's Jane," I ask. Fudge! "How's Jane" my foot! More like, "How's Jane, a.k.a. Miss Hoey McSIutty?"

"Great," he replies. "We went to-Tremblant this weekend." Oh no he didn't! The nerve. He knows that the to-ski-or-to-ride debate was always a sore point befween us. I put on my best surewe've-slept-together-but-know-that-l-faked-it-everytime-so-have-fun-with-your-new-ski-bunny face, smile politely, and make up some excuse about running late.

If all the world is indeed a stage and we are all merely players, why didn't the powers that be write a better script? In the perfect play, there would be no Awkward Conversation. Every line uttered would serve a purpose. Dialogue would always be witty, sharp, and oh-so-droll. But, alas, we live in the real world. One in which the Awkward Conversation is an unfortunate reality.

So... how 'bout them Yankees? ■

m a y h e m DAN BUTLER

kay, so I've had a couple of things to therefore she's "auditioning] for the role of say about the pernicious influence on wife." Damn, you got me FHM! It's all about females of stuff like Sex and the City whether she can clean."Wow babe, you're so and Cosmo, but now it's time to turn the spotlight amazing at folding the comforter! Here's a on one of the staples of Jack Student's cultural ring." 0 /4 FHM. diet...

Fifth reason (or lack thereof): She spoils I was going to refer to this particular mag­ you. "Yeah hang on, is that another six-pack of azine as the "thinking man's Playboy" for pur­ Boreal in my fridge lady?" 0/5 FHM. poses of anonymity, but instead I've decided to Sixth sign: She's constantly dieting. Well abbreviate it to FHM. (Shit, I gave it away.] The ori the surface that might seem to suck a bit (half main article in this month's edition appears to a mark FHM), but it does mean she'll be a offer some advice on a pretty life-altering sub­ cheap dinner date, and will probably be less ject. The article, titled, "Should you dump her? likely to smoke your stash for fear of getting the 5 ways to find out," caught my eye plainly munchies. 0.5/6 FHM. because I've always known FHM to be a rep­ Seventh sign: She flies solo. So what? utable source of masculine manna for many of She'll make new friends, maybe even with your my friends, and well, there could be some friends' girlfriends, and then you'll get to hang things I should be watching out for. Alas. To my out more often. Makes sense to me. 0.5/7 dismay, I found out that I did not have 5 good FHM. Sign eight: She loves her daddy. Let me tell reasons to dump my ladyfriend, but that anyone who actually takes FHM's advice is an imbecile. you something. Not only are there are sooo The first sign they carefully warn you to many benefits to this, have you ever dated look out for is: She's a sports fan. Are you crazy someone who hated their parents instead? Trust FHM? That's about the greatest thing evét! I still me, that does suck. Just watch out if her name is remember being at Bar Des Pins and hearing a Antigone. That's always when it starts to get a lovely lass berating one of my soccer buddies bit weird in my experience. 0.5/8 FHM. for his lack of knowledge about the English Number nine: She hates working. Well my Premier League. Now that was impressive! 0/1 family's Catholic, so we never bought shares in FHM. that "Protestant work ethic" float anyway, so Second sign: She loves gossiping. The whatever. 0.5/9 FHM. Finally: She takes you shopping. Everyone way I see this, the more gossiping she does, the more good things she's likely to say about me. knows you get mad props with the girlfriend if 0/2 FHM. you go shopping with her. And if she hates your Third sign: She controls your dinner wardrobe, maybe she'll be willing to invest in options. That's about the dumbest thing I've ever some new gear for you. Pas de problème! heard. "Oh no babe, I don't want any of your Looks like FHM scores a big 0.5 for its great steak and potato dinner—I'd prefer advice. My advice is that it's about time you cheese on toast again tonight." 0/3 FHM. FHMers started looking for a new, healthier sup­ Fourth reason: She cleans your place and plement for your daily culture intake. ■ O

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lecsandra Kakon, U3 Spanish Language and Literature, has been living in her apartment for three and a half months, ”1didn't actually 'find' the apartment. My dad is in real estate and he just recently bought the building." Compared to places she's found on her own, however, she believes that this one is most suited to her style. ’I lived with a girl once and I've lived with boys before, and I definitely think living alone is the easiest." This modern-day gal has even dabbled in a little cohabitation!

When asked about decorating, Kakon notes that if she had a little more time, she might “add little flavours" of herself to the decor. "Other than that, nothing has stood in the way of doing exactly what I've wanted with the apartment." She's a Montrealer who gets what she wants, does what she wants, lives where she wants, and bves what she wants. "I lived in Montreal's own little ver­ sion of suburbia, so things were quiet and actually pret­ ty boring. Now I live surrounded with lights, noise, and students. It has definitely made this year more eventful, so far." Kakon has created her own utopia, claiming she couldn't be happier. "I love the location, I love the dis­ tance from home, I bve the ambiance and I love living alone." This solo-fIyer's got a whole lot of bve and has made sure that she isn't forced to share it with any over­ bearing roommates.

A

Meet-----------------;— — the r o o m m a t e s W hy g o o d

o u r lo v e -h a te (a n d

b a d )

a p a rtm e n t

re la tio n s h ip s

p a rt o f o u r a c a d e m ic

LIZ ALLEMANG & BRODY BR O W N

T hough "Tobey" may have initially looked forward to living with roommates, it seems that his curiosity and inter­ est have already been extinguished after a mere few months at McGill. At this point, he needs at least four years of therapy to discuss his buffet of complaints.

First off, both his roomies, he claims, never do dishes.

"I had to not do any washing, eating with paper plates and chopsticks until they realized they ran out of every piece of plates/bowls/cutlery/glasses/cups," he says. "It took more than a week for them to wash anything. I ate out and also at a friend's apartment downstairs during that time too."

The unhygienic motif is complemented by one of the mate's hair, which carelessly decorates the washroom floor.

Besides the general uncleanliness, one of those bastards apparently uses too much oil when cooking, and yes, it's the same person who takes Tobey's beer and barges into his room without knocking to watch over Tobey's shoulder so he can read whatever is on Tobey's computer screen.

And it's not just strangers who move in together who encounter dirty household politics. As soon as move-in day arrives, even the most intimate couples suddenly discover

a re

a

e x p e rie n c e

one another's quirks. In Cosmopolitan's Living Together IMarried or Not) Handbook (New York: Cosmopolitan Books, 1974), authors Angela and David Wilson note, "When even the most mature, liberated man and a woman move in together, something evil begins to evolve. What could it possibly be? The division of housework!"

Be it couples, friends, or strangers living together, it is impractical to expect your messy roommates to change their ways after just one gasp of disgust on your part. If you have spent the last 20 years being a neat freak or a slob, chances are that evolution is not in the immediate forecast. "It's just not likely that either of you is going to change the other's tem­ perament very significantly. Nor for that matter should you expect to," note the Wilsons.

In many university living arrangements, though, when students are left to their own devices for the first time, the problems extend beyond dust bunnies and mildew. Some issues in particular are rather unique to student life. Tobey doesn't appreciate his apartment "reeking of weed" when he comes home at four in the morning, nor does he delight in his roommate's rampant promiscuity, claiming the hyperacS ee next p a g e .

10 feature | 1.9.04 | the mcgill tribune

P im p

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oncordia student Shafiq Khartabil, U1 international Business, has lived in the same apartment since arriving in Montreal from Palestine two years ago. "I love the location of the building," Khartabil explains. And what's not to love? With his door only steps from campus and, more importantly, from fine dining, swanky bou­ tiques, museums, and the city's hottest clubs, this gentleman lives in a neighbourhood catering to his every whim. But residing in the desirable Golden Mile district in a slick flat does have its disadvantages.

Welcome and unwelcome guests are the obvious example. "I find it incredible that I can actually study in the house," confesses Khartabil.

"A lot of our friends want to come over because they find our place the most relaxing." Their dates seem to love it too. "We actually chose the colour red because we thought it was sexy and that it would help cre­ ate a mood for our ladies." While Khartabil and his roommate/best friend Manhal, a second-year Management student, win most people over with their charm, we're sure the chill vibe, captured by stylish loungelike furniture and a 24-hour Buddha Bar soundtrack quietly hum­ ming on the surround sound, doesn't hurt. No luxurious stone has been left unturned; the bachelors currently have their eye on a plasma TV. It is not simply decorating and accessorizing that has taken priority, but creating an atmosphere. "We both agreed on making our apartment a place were you can kick back and refax." For this mellow student, adjusting to the confines of downtown dwelling after living in a sprawl­ ing antique-speckled house, complete with objets d'art, garden, and pool, was an adjustment, but he has come to enthusiastically approve of his current situation, describing his apartment life as "cool and cozy."

C

P H O T O S

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BENJI

FELD M A N

R o o m m a te s forbetter T, worse C o n tin u ed from p rev io u s p a g e .

five Casanova has just bedded his eighth individual.

And when this roommate—did we mention this was the blatantly culturally insensitive one?—has girls over for "the night of fun," there's always music blasting from the roomie's love cell, speakers, woofers and all, to cover up the lovers' murmurs and moans.

But Tobey is not as irate as one might expect. "I don't hate my roommates. I just would prefer a bit more responsibility and respect from them."

Oh, Tobey. Why are you and so many others living with people you can barely stomach? For some, it's notan option—living situations are dictated

by Rez or financial constraints. But so many students actually want to live with other people. Why leave your family only to reinsert yourself into a surrogate family, complete with ongoing drama, power strug­ gles, and personality clashes?

W hat are we doing living with these people?

The truth is, the roommate thing is not all bad — there are definitely some benefits of note. "Perhaps the most positive advantage of having a roommate is the opportunity to develop a close friendship, and research has shown that tnere are a number of ben­ efits of friendship in adolescence and early adult­ hood," explains Professor Morton J. Mendelson of McGill's psychology department. "In fact, as individ­ uals leave their family of origin, but before they cre­ ate a new family of their own, friends play an espe­ cially important role in their social network."

Whether or not they are your bestest friends, roommates are also a form of support in a challeng­ ing environment. "Friends fulfill a number of 'func­ tions' for each other, including companionship, help, a context for personally relevant conversation, loyalty (i.e., being there no matter what), emotional security, and self-validation (i.e., ego support)," confirms Mendelson.

Sharing your space, provided you don't want to burn your housemates at the stake, can be great for your state of mind and emotional well-being. But some studies suggest that living together may take its toll on your already dwindling chequing account. In Some Implications of Housing, an examination of liv­ ing situations at the University of Wisconsin, Porter Butts describes a study used to determine "whether communal life exerts a beneficent influence." The sur­ vey of 703 students found that organized group liv­ ing costs the student more than living alone, though the student "assuredly gets more, both in physical

comfort and social opportunity, for his money."

Equally of interest, Butts notes that living with oth­ ers does not necessarily negatively affect one's aca­ demic success. "Rather, a student's scholastic per­ formance in an organized house, where the conta­ gion of common purpose is felt more readily and where leisure is more highly activized and diversi­ fied, is apt to be better than that of a student living alone, without the benefit of group organization or fluent social interaction with his fellow residents."

Though the study does acknowledge that some extremely social scenarios, like men's fraternities, may "militate against scholarship," it does reveal that stu­ dents living with others tend to have higher grade point averages than those living alone. "This holds for both men and women; men with one roommate exceed those who have none by an average of .005 grade-point; and women with roommates surpass women living alone by .147 grade-point."

Such studies, however, tend to not represent those of us who live with frighteningly bad roommies.

With your personalities waging war and your nasty habits duking it out, living in unison is more likely to hinder your educational cause than help it.

"Because of the challenges of living together, there can be considerable conflict between room­ mates," says Mendelson. "In its worst form, it can undermine academic achievement or otherwise ruin a university experience. Roommates who have con­ flicts should try to deal with them when they arise, but if they prove to be unresolvable, it may be time to seriously consider finding other accommodations."

"While the companionship and stimulation of one roommate are apparently conducive to good scholarship, more than one roommate is usually worse than none." Butts's article claims that students with one roommate surpass the scholastic average of students living alone by .087 grade-point and lead students with two or more roommates by . 171 gradepoint—though we don't support kicking out a third wheel roomie based on a information from a study conducted in 1937.

It is ultimately up to us to decide how we live, whether what we seek is companionship or solitude.

Sometimes it only becomes clear that we have made the worst possible choice, such as moving in with a flatulent ADD klepto, once it is too late. While it may be painful and somewhat nauseating, the joy of uni­ versity living is that it is only temporary. Nomads that we are, moving day is always just around the corner, as is the chance to wipe the slate clean and try again until we get it right... or graduate.*

the mcgill tribune | 1.9.04 | feature 11

T u r k is h d e l i g h t

H o m e - c o o k e d f o o d a n d h o t n e ig h b o u r s obby Pasternak, U1 Arts, had his apartment handed down to him from a friend who lived in it when Pasternak lived in N e w Rez. This Torontonian and his current roommate fell in love with the location, the laundry amenities, the dishwasher, and the "spacious, even-sized rooms.”

Pasternak, who lives with Joshua Diamond, another second^ear student, is clear about his living preferences, insisting that life is simplest with a person w hos easygo­ ing like my roommate—he doesn't care about much. Dirty, clean, whateveri" And Pasternak insists he did all the decorating, with just a little help from a friend who's a fan of Queer Eye for the Straight Guy. “ I did it all. W ent to Ikea and said yes... yes... no." He claims to have been inspired by an older brother, whom he describes as "a pretty cool bachelor."

W hen asked if he also found inspiration in his former environs of Toronto, Pasternak confesses his penchant for comfort. "N ot to be conceited, but I guess I live kinda well back at home so I try to emulate home a little here. Everything but home cooked meals." r And Pasternak does seem pretty content with his current situation, Hes glad to have a "great couch, satellite, a good roommate, and two friends directly across the hall." In fact, when asked if he would change anything, he admits there isn't much he'd alter. "This is perfect, except maybe'{to have] a little bigger room with a couch shaped like a baseball g lo v e -lik e in Billy M adison." And "hotter, girl neighbours." And "bet­ ter food—home-cooked, preferably." W ell, there's always next year, right?

B

W e s t s id e s w in g e r s ou won't hear Jon Joffe, U3 Finance, complaining about not having to participate in the annually dreaded apartment hunt. A classic case of benefiting from the misfortune of oth­ ers, Joffe and roommates obtained their chic den of bachelordom after previous tenants took issue with one another. "A couple of our friends from Vancouver couldn't get along in the apartment, so they split up. W e inquired about their place, [and] they gave it to us. It was as easy as that," Joffe says.

W hile the fun-loving guys were initially skeptical about living west of campus, they have come to appreciate the convenience of having campus at their doorstep. Joffe describes the four metre-high ceilings and exposed brick throughout as “ bonuses.'

Three years after moving in, the playful roommates have made the space their own A tropical aquarium adds a splash of cobur, while a Plexiglas-covered pool table (serving as the communal footrest] is an example of the playful feeling present in much of the apartment.

O ne roommate's project o f creating a reflective collag e— now several hundred pictures strong— is perhaps the most personal touch in the apartment.

The tightly knit roommates, who are also fraternity brothers, describe their place s style as "classy, but not loo classy." Taking inspiration from the movie Swingers, retro-cool with a twist of masculine modernity, they mix inherited furniture pieces from "Bubby and Zeide" with hightech elements such as unattached keyboards in front of all of their televisions.

It may be difficult for Joffe to select his favourite aspect of living so well, but he insists that it is the living arrangement more so than the apartment itself. ‘There is enough space to get work done if you need to. But there are enough roommates to have a party if need be "

Y

celle Rufkin, U3 Honours English Literature, has only been livinq living in her briqht, bright, spacious abode for a coupie of months, but she is already enamoured. "I love Tr It's everything w e were looking for and everything our last apartment wasn't," she jokes. It is understandable why she and roommate jumped at the chance to take the place over from their friends. W ith large rooms, a roomy kitchen, laundry, skylights, and a porch for kicking back with friends on warm summer nights, it's no wonder these gals have planted their roots. "I'd like to stay here once I graduate," explains Rufkin. "It's a really nice place to call home. There is so much space and light, I am able to do my work without getting cabin fever."

The apartment reflects the taste of two city girls who embrace the vibe of coastal living. A modern update on classic Mediterranean design, the rooms feature warm, inviting colours that create a lively and welcoming atmos­ phere. Rich fabrics and lush tapestries make the open space cozy, and the eclectic blend of local finds and European treasures provide the room with an entirely unique feeling. "M y roommate's family is from Turkey, so much of the inspiration behind the decor was pulled directly from her experiences travelling," Rufkin says "M any of our pillows, throws and even our rugs are authentically Turkish.”

In the future the sassy duo hopes to see some of their big decorating dreams materialize. "W e would like to see more of us in the decor," the hardw orking student admits. And how to accomplish such a feat? There has been talk of glazing terracotta pots to adorn the living room or perhaps building a coffee table themselves, but for now the ladies are focused on one project in partic­ ular. "W e're recovering a bench with this great striped fabric w e found. It's going to be a great addition to our home."

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a&e « In t h e

C r i m i n a l 's C a b i n e t

feel as though I have just devoured a million writers' souls and my stomach complains of its awkwardly full state.

In the Criminal's Cabinet is, as the name implies, an unfil­ tered nest of works sometimes frightening and sometimes seem­ ingly out of place.

Best described, it is an organized clutter of poetry and fiction, incorporating diverse authors and topics.

Cabinet is the UTERATI.NET product of nthposition.com, an on-line ezine focused on social, political, and personal writing, Its main goal is to rec­ ognize and promote quality writing. Val Stevenson and Todd Swift, two of the three minds behind the e-zine, edited and compiled this "nthology."

Other than a reference to the ezine, the term hints at nothing. W hat can be found inside? Melancholy highfalutinity? Indeed, but only out of neces­ sity and complete with charm.

A dictionary is the sine qua non for anyone who snoops through this Cabinet. The linguistic challenge,

I

D a h lia

C a s s id y b y

t's sad to say that the most interesting event in Anne C am erons latest effort, Dahlia Cassidy, is the title char­ acter's painful clitoral injury. Even sadder still is the fact that the entire first chapter is nothing more than a prolonged description of the injury. All jokes aside, however, Dahlia Cassidy is not an entirely regrettable read.

The story follows the lives of Dahlia, her sis­ ters, and her large brood of children in rural British Columbia. Cameron's characters are well drawn, mildly entertaining, and might even cause flashes of recognition for readers. However, the ad-nauseam repetition of the same eternally dull storytelling elements involving violent ex-boyfriends (who are always dumb as mules) or the trials of mushroom­ gathering make the book more like a variation on a strikingly overdone theme than a story of person­ al growth and family development. Dai's self-

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S ec o n d

A n n e

C a m e ro n

avowed white-trash status does not add a drop of humour to the sad tale. Instead, it makes the char­ acters feel—to themselves—and seem—to the readers—pathetic and incapable of growth. This effect is heightened by the utterly random lesbian­ ism that peppers the story for no apparent reason other than perhaps to make Dal's character a bit more interesting, following the continuous trend in North American society of making queer life "cool."

Disappointingly, Dahlia Cassidy does not live up to Cameron's reputation as one of Canada's foremost fiction authors. At its most effective, the book may prevent its readers from visiting BC, since stupid, ugly, or downright dangerous people are its only inhabitants in Cameron's fictional world. And that—deterring people from visiting one of Canada's most beautiful provinces— is the saddest part of all. ■ —Simone Cruickshank

S ig h t b y

G e o rg e

f you find yourself prowling the bookstores in search of a fun and engaging read to keep you sane dur­ ing this busy month of papers and finals prepara­ tion, please turn a blind eye to Second Sight by George Szanto and keep looking. Szanto's novel is, in a word, bland. He serves up nothing but a soup without taste. N ot necessarily disgusting, but not exactly filling, either.

Second Sight is the third in Szanto's "Conquest of Mexico" series, and follows the (loosely defined) adventures of Jorge, a Montreal university criminolo­ gist. In this final installment, Jorge returns to the fiction­ al Mexican village of Michoàcuaro to see an old

I

which sometimes seems more muddled than intelligent, may turn some people off, but the end result of understanding is more rewarding than you might expect.

The poetry, though most often short, is fresh and enjoyable for anyone willing to offer enough time to listen.

That, in fact, is the only possible gener­ alization—the "nthology" contains a world leagues beneath our surface, within which you may find some poems completely insoluble, the meaning lost.

Rhymes come few and far between— not that they're missed.

The calibre of the fiction pieces is at least equal to the poems; they swift­ ly carry the book when a shift is need­ ed from the dense poetic lines. The short stories come especially easy as enjoyable, clever, and pungently con­ cocted works.

Being drawn into these other worlds and then watching as they dis­ appear can leave the reader over­ whelmed, but surely satisfied. ■ —Paul Goertzen Visit w w w .nthposition.com to read any o f the works found In the Criminal's Cabinet, plus the heaps they couldn't fit between the covers.

S z a n to friend, Pepe Legarto, who had recently been elected mayor. Upon arrival, however, Jorge discovers that his friend has vanished. N o one in the town knows whether he was kidnapped or perhaps ran off to be with a secret lover. In fact, no one can lay daim to whether Legarto is even alive at all. Thus, Jorge begins a search for his friend, and eventually finds himself in the middle of a political mess as he simulta­ neously discovers the seedy criminal underbelly of the formerly "quaint" Mexican town.

W hile Second Sight takes an important step towards unveiling the real political corruption in Mexico during the late 1980s and early '90s, the

book would have achieved a much greater level of success if the story were actually engaging. Szanto's characters come and go in droves, leaving only a handful of distinctive personalities to remember.

Though theoretically, as Second Sight claims to be an "adventure" novel, exciting events do take place, they're written with a completely muted intensity, thus fading into the continuously messy plot.

W hile Second Sight is no page-turner, it's not worthless. At best, it's a pleasant—but often dull— quiet walk in a deserted park. For most, in this case, it would be best to just keep on walking. ■ —Erin Fagen

X Y Z ED IT .Q C .C A

C a n a d ia n N u n t b y

M in g u s T o u re tte

ven if you're not easily offended, reading this tw oyear epic in the form of a poetry collection by one of Canada's emerging—and most eccentric—writers will shock you. Even those who can watch every single episode of South Park without batting an eyelash will be jolted somewhere along Tourette's journey, whether by his diction or the adventures it describes.

Although often shocking, Nunt is not simply an in^our-face book meant as a cry for attention. Tourette passion­ ately describes his odyssey across North America after leaving his broken marriage with absolute truth. He shows readers his pain. He admits— and proves—that he can be an ass­ hole, but then with the turn of a page composes beautiful lines like "Last night / I could’ not tell / where / your skin ended and / mine began." And despite the truth behind his writings, he still dedicates Nunt to N at, his estranged wife.

Writers like Tourette remind us

E

how important it is to experiment.

He, in particular, reminds us of the power of a sin­ gle word, be it offensive slang or appropriate for a church serv­ ice. Nunt lets readers free N U N T .C O M themselves of past conceptions of how a book of poetry should be written from the first page, taking the "break them dow n and build them up" approach. From there, you can't help but feel open to whatever Tourette has to say. This is not just a plot-driven page-turner; it's also a method-driven page-turner. You anticipate and fail, but the surprise is always better than the feeling of being right. ■ —Lise Treutler For more o f Tourette's writing, visit his cult success The Daily Mingus, an online serial, a f www.nunt.com.

O x fo r d

D ic tio n a r y — S e c o n d

dictionary is a wholly unique kind of book. A novel, for instance, might be read once and subsequently passed on via the nearest used bookstore. An anthol­ ogy of poetry or short stories might be read once in its entirety, and only occasionally consulted afterwards for a few select pieces.

Thus, reviewing is simple: read, think, write, and you're done. Reviewing the Canadian.

Oxford Dictionary, a mammoth hardcover of almost 1 ,9 0 0 pages, took longer than a week or two; it was an almost semester-long project of consultation and curious flipping.

Like its predecessor, the second edition is w idely known as the "official dictionary of the Canadian Press," and if's easy to see why. As other dictionar­ ies do, the C O D contains the age-old and conventional — from "acquire" to "zucchini" — but the editor of this heavy stack of pages, Katherine Barber, took on the monumental task of adding thousands upon thousands of new words and phrases that w e have, some­ times sadly, become familiar

A

O E D .C O M

E d itio n

with, specifically "Canadian" words, short biographical entries, and much more.

See "weapons of mass destruction."

See "mickey." See "Lennon, John." As writ­ ers, journalists, and students at a Canadian post-secondary institution, a reference book like this is invaluable, even if your only rea­ son stems from boredom. Flip to a random page—you never know what you'll discover, whether it's at least 3 0 definitions for "fuck" or your next paper topic.

Most of us likely own a dictionary already, which is a good sign. But like com­ puters, every now and then—as I realized when I flipped through my trusty ol' Pocket Oxford and laughed at my grade seven Crayola Mini-Stamper obsession evident throughout the pages and the inside front cover bearing the names of several celebrity "loves of my life" — it's time to upgrade.

W e're in the big time now. W e're stronger, more independent, and more intel­ lectually sound. Isn't it time w e own diction­ aries that more adequately fit our scholarly needs? Aren't you curious what to call a per­ son from Moose Jaw? I'm not telling. ■ —Lise Treutler

the mcgill tribune | 16.11.04 | a&e 1 5

I R a te : A

M e m o ir b y

R a te

P RE VI EWS

M a ir

e overcame a wealthy, privileged background.

He managed to graduate from the fancy-pants, snobby prep school his father flunked out of.

And best of all, he rose to political fame by effective­ ly prosecuting a stripper. Rafe Mair, you are a revolu­

H

tionary!

Mair's self-congratulatory new book, Rafe: A Memoir, plumbs the formative events of a breezily suc­ cessful career in law, broadcasting, and general fab­ ulousness of personality. A native of British Columbia, M air is currently the host of his own self-titled radio show, The Rafe M a ir Show, on CKBD 6 0 0 A M .

Though it may seem to be the contrary, his path to rel­ ative stardom has not been easy.

M air began by parlaying drinks with the boys and some powerful family connections—into a tight clan of friends w ho have helped him out on both the political level and the broadcasting scene. Finally,

after 15 years as a practicing lawyer in Vancouver, five years participating in Bill Bennett's provincial go\c ernment, and nearly 25 years as a radio broadcaster, he hit his stride. Rafe: A Memoir seems to be his attempt to let u.s all in on the secret of achievement.

However, unless you too have friends in high places, Mair's formula for suc­ cess likely w o n 't work. The author's infatuation with himself is the only thing that trumps the book's tiresome prose. Mair's style and story might appeal to a 16year-old male who wants to be a lawyer purely because he deeply identifies with LA. Law, but the rest of us w ill want to pass. ■ —Hilary Elkins

COMEDY. Sugar Sammy—Comedy Zone— 1740 boul. René-Lévesque (Nouvel Hotel)—November 18-20.

This Montrealer and former M cG ill student has been dubbed the "Indian Eddie Murphy." W ith an edgy demeanor and even edgier material, Sugar Sammy is a homegrown favourite, especially among diverse ethnic groups. That being the case, Sammy is playing five shows this week, including two late shows that are ethnospecific: one for the East Indian community and another for the black community. In addition, he will be perform­ ing three "mainstream" shows for those who make it ear­ lier in the night. These shows are worth checking out, as Tsar Entertainment is making a DVD based on Sammy s three nights of comedy. Nov. 18: 8:30pm ; Nov 19 & 20: 9pm and 11 :15pm. For reservations, call 93 7; 38 88 .

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RAFEO N LIN E C O M

The M a n

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►(range but true: M cG ill has . a third claim to fame, one 'involving neither W illiam Shatner nor the yearly Maclean's university rankings.

However, it's not a tale w e should be proud of. The death of the famed magician Harry Houdini rests on the shoulders of V EH IC U LEPR ESS.C O M J. Gordon W hitehead, a for­ mer M cG ill Religious Studies stu­ dent. The blood on his hands came straight after a per­ formance at the Princess Theatre here in Montreal, when the shady scholar character sucker-punched the great illu­ sionist in his dressing room post-show. It was a tragic end for a beloved hero whose name is still spoken with rever­ ence today.

But what of the man who threw the punch? Don Bell, in The M an W ho Killed Houdini, seeks to discover the story behind the dodgy alumnus as he investigates the lit­

K ille d H o u d in i b y

D on

B e l!

tle-known incident. W hat Bell reveals to his readers is the stuff fictional mystery novels are made of. Included with the truth, the book tells of darker matters behind the killing: mysterious religious practices, powerful connections, and dark secrets. Bell's theory is so intense that to give aw ay specifics would ruin what would otherwise be a fascinat­ ing reading experience. To entice readers, it's enough to say that Bell theorizes the punch was no random act.

Bell is a consummate writer and sleuth. If, while read­ ing, you forget that the words describe a true investigation of a true death, you can be forgiven. The pages read like fiction—suspenseful, intriguing, and surprisingly witty.

Besides the content itself, the eerie illustrations themselves are enough to cause involuntary shudders.

Suffice to say, The Man W ho Killed Houdini will enthrall fans of many genres—biography, crime, mystery, and even those who simply enjoy a good read. Heres to the portrayal of Montreal in its glamorous prime as we learn about a not-soglamorous secret. ■ —Susan Cooke

THE SHAPE OF THINGS

THEATRE. The Shape o f Things to Come— Players' Theatre—3480 rue McTavish—November 17-20, 2427, 8pm.

Playwright/filmmaker N eil Labute is bringing The Shape of Things to Come to our lovely campus, as the season-closing event at the Players' Theatre. M ade into a movie in 2 0 0 3 , this play unfolds (fittingly) on a college campus, as the vain and manipulative Evelyn seduces soft-spoken Adam, effectively altering his lifestyle and image to fit her values. A play that examines the dual role of love and art, Labute's work is credited for not conform­ ing to any standard style in this genre, emphasizing the dark side of people. Enticing dialogue and daring plot twists are just part of what's made this piece so notewor­ thy.

MUSIC. The Stills—Club S o d a - 1225 boul. StLaurent—November 20.

Montreal band the Stills moved to N e w York to gar­ ner a wider audience for their oft-politically-driven indierock music. Two years and a whole lot more publicity later, the Stills are being credited for producing one of the better p o st-9 /1 1 albums, in Logic W ill Break Your Heart.

Backed by Vice magazine's record label, their songs are laden with irony, yet convey a sweet sound through the passionate voice of frontman Tim Fletcher. The Stills have toured with Indie sensation Interpol as well as iconic British rapper The Streets. Now, they're on their own back home at Club Soda—call 2 8 6 -1 0 1 0 for ticket informa­ tion.

MUSIC. Great Big Sea—Le Metropolis—59 rue Ste-Catherine E. —November 20.

Great Big Sea is more than just a band; it is an embodiment of musical culture. These five Maritimers have fused traditional Newfoundland Celtic folk fare with pop music to create a unique and exciting blend whose description often escapes critics. At their shows, the band's goal is to not only present their music to awaiting fans, but to get the whole club dancing and singing along; as co-lead singer Sean McCann humbly says, "The crowd is the show—we're just the hosts. Having recently released their career-spanning DVD, the band should be pumped for this tour. Call 8 4 4 -3 5 0 0 for ticket information.

FILM. The Machinist—Cinéma du Parc—3575 av. du Parc—opens November 19.

Christian Bale must have had to starve himself Gandhi-style for this flick. Bale plays Trevor Reznik, a sleep-deprived, confused machine-worker who goes on an unintentional quest to discover the root of his insomnia, culminating in a fascinating surprise ending. M ade in the mould of old Hitchcock thrillers and Fight Clubesque soulsearching films, The Machinist delivers an intense look into Trevor's psyche as he falls into a pit of madness. The Machinist is worth a watch merely to see Bale pull off this challenging and multifaceted performance.

CREDITS: H O U R .C A ; S W A N K .C O M ; M T V .C O M ; G R E A T B IG S E A .C O M ; F llM F O R C E .IG N .C O M ; M U S IC .N ET .

T e a c h in g C e r t if ic a t e 140hs/ Internationally Accredited

T E S O L P ro g ra m Jo b s in C a n a d a & O verseas O verseas Jo b s: $30,000 to $50,000/ y r TE S O L Certificate is accredited by Emploi Quebec , Canadian Language Teachers Association (CLTA) & the European Union T E S O L Association ( U T A ) . __

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16 a&e | 16.11.04 j the mcgill tribune

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DEVIN M O N T G O M E R Y e Swimming is one of the most popular hangouts in Montreal for quality yet inexpensive live shows. Last week, the boulevard St-Laurent pool joint gave well-known pop singer Tal Bachman and talented rocker Andy Stochansky a stage with an unusually private feel.

Alone on stage in front of a small, intimate crowd, Bachman adjusted his stool, drank a shot, and then broke into his set with "Tomorrow," an acoustic song with an almost country/slow rock sound.

As he worked through his act, he wanted to, as he put it, 'g e t the dad thing" out of the w a y — Tal Bachman is the son of the legendary Randy Bachman of The: Guess W h o and BTO. During his breaks, he would regale the crowd with stories about growing up around some of the best-known classic Canadian rock legends. He lived with his father after he divorced his deeply religious wife, w ho was against all forms of rock 'n' roll. After telling this anecdpte, he played "Romanticide," an aptly named ditty inspired by his parents' failed marriage. This sbng had more of a grunge sound, hitting bolder notes than his more poppy tunes.

Bachman continued to tell the audience more childhood stories about dad. He recalled a night that Guess W h o vocalist Burton Cummings spent the night in a [ditch in a drunken stupor after a show, only to be woken up by a cop he then bribed to let him off the hook.

N ear the end of his set he played "Aeroplane," followed byj his most famous single, "She's So High." It was a mellow set for Bachman, and an enjoyable night of learning secrets about crazy Canadian rock legends for the audience.

The crowd waited an hour before lead act Andy Stochansky! and his band set up. Stochansky,

L

A N D Y S T O C H A N S K Y .C O M

D and y A n dy: he com es w ith m a n y hidden surprises.

w ho has played drums and piano since the age of five, toured as a drummer until he eventually decided to come out with an independent release. Three albums later, he produced Five Star Hotel, which was the main focus of his set list on this night. The sound was good live, as Stochansky showed strong musicianship. He added more of a rock vibe to Bachman's earlier pop sound. The lyrics did not exhibit great depth, yet Stochansky's passionate performance made up for it in spades.

His most notable tune was "2 2 Steps," a love song about irony, with Stochansky belting out some slower, confident notes. The set ended with fast drumbeats and raw guitar riffs. Toward the end of the show, losing himself in the moment, the musician sat on the ground in front of the stage, swaying as he played intensely. The set played out like a good jam session, as the band and Stochansky meshed very well.

Le Swimming proved to be the perfect venue for Stochansky, w ho enjoys a more intimate audi­ ence; the crow d was actually large for him, as he's used to playing for 10 to 2 0 people.

For more information about Andy Stochansky or Tal Bachman, check out their official W eb sites a f www.andystochansky.com and w w w.talbachm an.com , respectively. ■

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us that the next song, "Tarrastaman," had a reggae sound.

The drums of the "Jew-maican" music resonated throughout the large concert hall.

Singer Josh Dolgin performed a great couple of songs (in Yiddish), although what he was saying remains a mys­ tery to my gentile ears. Dolgin explained to the illiteratti that it had something to do with kissing a cat. He was a great character on stage, portraying an old-man-storytellingemphasis as he sang, despite being a mere 25 years old.

M y only complaint lies in the choice of venue and the concert's meagre attendance. Beyond the Pale deserved a much larger crowd; they need to play at a different loca­ tion to be in their proper element. However, they still taught us a thing or two about music. O ne could tell they were always listening intently to each other, reacting to and enhancing each other's sound, furthering their canorous connection. They set a fine example with their fluent and spirited music. ■

PAUL G OERTZEN

e've convened for the CD release party of Beyond the Pale, a Klezmer band from Toronto. To my ears it sounds like polka, jazz, and bluegrass— that is Klezmer at its heart. Add to that some modern North American culture embodied by the instrumentalists and it all comes together quite nicely. A clarinet, mandolin, violin, classical bass, and accordion forge the sound. The tempo can vary from a clear classical lullaby to ludicrous pitches requiring immediate jitterbugging. Too bad w e were sitting.

Head-bobbing was a definite theme of the night. The crowd wanted to move; the music was vibrant and pene­ trating. The bass player seemed inconceivable, like he was always within us. Violinist Bogdan Djukic presented himself as the best showman of them all.

Their performance conformed more or less to the order of their new album, Consensus, a live recording from a show last January. Guest singers Josh Dolgin and Yeva M edvedyuk tagged along to do their part.

The first song got everyone listening — it was raucous but measured, accommodating even to those who may not have been listening to it—a perfect example of their roots and essential style.

The intertwined play of each instrument was practiced but seemingly free, illustrating how each player is as important as the next, each with their own pur­ pose.

BEYONDTHEPALE.NET As the violinist picked up a bongo, the mandolinist informed Beyond the Pale delivers lively K le zm e r tu n e s -m o re should pay attention!

W

Behind the Yellow Door C o lo u r fu l

16.11.04 | a&e 1 7

P RE V I EWS

Klezmer band reaches a B e y o n d

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CD. Secondhand Opinions by N ot By Choice The press release for this album claims that N ot By Choice are "becoming renowned as one of Canada's seminal punk rock outfits."

Sure. Fine. Whatever. They may be from the monotonous, depressing town of Ajax, Ontario, but they make fellow hometowners Sum 41 sound like the second com­ ing of the Sex Pistols.

Dubious cred aside, Secondhand Opinions is banal at best. It's semi-catchy, but that effect is completely ruined by the nagging feeling that they use the exact same vocal melody in every single song. Singer M ike Bilcox has a half-decent voice, and the emotion that periodically shows through would be effective if he didn t use it in precisely the same w a y every five fucking minutes over the course of the album.

And oh, the lyrics. W ith embarrassing lines like, "O nly time can heal this broken heart again," the liner notes read like a phoned-in romance novel.

Though the music is occasionally enjoyable, it is completely the result of pounding drums, not any form of interesting composition. The guitar lines are marginally more interesting than the standard power chords and the songs are distinguishable from each other, but there's nothing of note here.

Dull—your parents' radio station should love it.

—Melissa Price CD. Music from The O C : M /x 2 .

Call me crazy, but I was quite sur­ prised when I found the soundtrack to one of the most popular television shows, The OC, in the discount bin of a used record shop a mere five days after it was released in stores.

Contrary to what the cynics might expect, it's really a loss for the per­ son w ho tossed the album—this sec­ ond instalment of music featured on the hit Fox drama demonstrates one of the reasons why The O C remains the epitome of cool on the airwaves today.

From the crunchy sonic sounds of The Killers' "Smile Like You Mean It to perennial indie faves Death C ab for Cutie and their haunting A Lack of Color, each song seems equally at home on this collection, as it does in Seth Cohens iPod. W hile the latter part of the CD flirts dangerously close to the adult con­ temporary section—Keane's gloomy "W alnut Tree" and a cover of Paul McCartney's "M aybe I'm Amazed" by Jem seem especially out of place—rare tracks from Interpol and N a da Surf alone justify repeated listens of this disc.

If you're still not convinced, here's a bonus—you get to look at the lovely Mischa Barton in the liner notes while listening!

—77m Chan

M E LIS S A PRICE or most M cG ill students, plans for a night "out" rarely include anything more intellectually stimulating than how not to spill your tequila while clinking glasses with others or occasional Christina/Britney debates at clubs playing such terrible music. That's not always a bad thing, but last Thursday's poetry and prose reading at the Yellow Door made a great case for the benefits of expanding our horizons a bit.

If you've spent any time walking around the Ghetto, you've probably noticed the namesake bright yellow door at 3 6 2 5 rue Aylmer. And if you're anything like me, you've probably never given a second thought to what goes on inside. That's a shame because the building's basement holds irregular but frequent nights of music and spoken word, mak­ ing it the longest-running continuous coffeehouse in North America.

For only five bucks, you can gain entry to this dark and cramped base­ ment, where 50-cent cups of coffee are served from a tiny kitchenette in the corner. Musicians and writers perform on a tiny stage a couple of inches off the ground. It's an inti­ mate and unpretentious atmosphere, allow ing performers to truly share their work with the audi­ ence.

The night started out with a "spontaneous com­ position" by a talented man with an electric vio­ lin—he created unbelief ably good melodies on the spot, and then asked

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the audience for title ideas, which proved an interesting chal­ lenge as people shouted out suggestions like "W altz of the Midnight Security Guard."

The first reader, Neale McDevitt, provided the only prose contribution of the night. His short story, detailing the narrator's longtime infatuation with a roaming girl named Grace, managed to be both beautiful and amusingly selfdeprecating. The metaphors, in particular, were stunning; particularly memorable was the comparison of Grace to a hummingbird, looking perfectly still while in constant motion.

Peter Richardson followed with a completely different style of work; his poetry sounds like strings of linked and snagging words. Somehow, by the end of each poem, the words would all coalesce in your mind to form pictures of jet engines, ski lodges, or a beloved stepson's ashes.

Carolyn Zonailo, w ho read third, honoured Remembrance Day with a multi-part, quotation-filled poem about the human aspect of war, in the context of pacifist groups in the Russian Revolution. W hile not quite as striking as the previous offerings, her verses were effective and very appropriate.

Regardless of the talents of the above, it was Vincent Tinguely who gave the best performance of the night. His vocal interpretations of his elegantly worded poems about sex and politics spouted such memorable lines as, "If it ain't broke, break it—the American way." His closing meditation on mortality brought an even more conterrtplative hush to the room.

To close, Nova Scotian Geoffrey Cook presented a var­ ied set of incredible poems in his Maritime lilt. A heartwrenching piece about his grandfather's death fighting in Holland during the Second W orld W a r drove home the meaning of the day with tear-jerking impact.

W ith cheap beverages, groups of talented writers and performance artists, and the overall "smart" feeling you leave with, we have to wonder why more people aren't involved in the Yellow Door's culture. If you're intrigued—and you should be—check out the next night on December 2. You can always go out for the standard bar crawl afterwards. ■

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18 a&e | 16.1104 j the mcgill tribune

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CLARA SCH W A RZ he name is Michel G oulet—you may recognize him by his crazily untidy grey hair. To many in the art community, he is better known through his publicly displayed work. From Toronto to N e w York to Lyon, Goulet has installed Les Lieux Communs, which involves intriguingly designed metallic chairs displayed in a cir-

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CELIA D 'A N D REA

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tures humour in Living Under M any Banners (2002), in which various countries' national flags are mingled with similar flags representing certain emotions, as if to classi­ fy and unite the world at once. In Jardiniers et Jardins du M onde (2003), Goulet creates personalized gardens by inscribing in four large panels the names and variations of it from around the globe.

Despite his clear stylistic developments, Goulet

ast week, the M cG ill University Department of English Drama ana Theatre Program presented Zadie's Shoes. Written by Adam Pettle and directed by Myrna W yatt Selkirk, the

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sweet lead, Benjamin. He loves his‘ girl­ friend, and wants to help her, but cannot do so until he helps himself. Exchanges between Goldhamer and Crelinsfen are extremely well-done, partly because the tw o actors have great chemistry onstage. By using everything from his voice to his mannerisms, Crelinsten's

CO U R TESY O F M O Y S E FHAU

Two to o ne odds, I can m a k e you really m ad!

DAVE BRODKEY

Chairs, chairs, and m o re chairs—G oulet's artw ork can b e abstract, b ut n ever ordinary.

cle. His famous chairs are still seen in Montreal at Parc Lafontaine (corner Roy) as part of the décor, facing the park. The artist's work is currently being shown at the Museum of Contemporary Art until April 3, 2 0 0 5 , in an exhibition entitled "Part Life, Part G am e," a retrospective reflecting 3 0 years of the Quebecer's artwork.

Goulet, a retired university professor, is often praised for helping the art world evolve aw ay from the abstract. The exhibition clearly demonstrates this quality.

Though his early works involve more idiosyncratic designs of twisted metafpins and strange computer chip­ like dispositions, his later works serve to narrow the gap between the artist and the public. For example, he cap-

HA N D S

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maintains that a base line since day one has remained.

He lingers with a fascination for everyday objects and worthless little things, especially metallic pieces of any sort. He also strangely incorporates guns into his work, but does so cleverly by balancing books on top of rifles.

Defending himself against art critics who have grown increasingly irritated for having to interpret art in such a mind-cracking way, Goulet simply replied that he has no intentions of imposing any one alternative o r viewpoint. The truth is that apart from a few early works, the exhibition is free from this challenging exercise, leav­ ing room instead for vague mental meanderings and occasional smiles. ■

portrayal of the prophet Eli is dead-on.

Melissa Paulson, Kellie Celia, and Lara Chatterjee shine as sisters Ruth, Beth, and Lily, respectively. Each actress brings a different element to the relation­ ship, with Celia playing the serious and competitive sister, Chatterjee as the fun and ditzy one, and Paulson's character caught in between. Rounding out the cast is Nicolae Rusan, who amuses as Bear, and Alex W oods as the sexdeprived Sean.

Zadie's Shoes tells a touching story, though the tone of the cast is anything but. The majority of the conversations are yelled across the stage; as such, the dramatic nature of these rather loud arguments may be unsettling for audi­ ence members who came for a quiet night of culture.

Be sure to check out Zadie's Shoes at M oyse Hall theatre in the Arts Building. The last shows run from November 18 to 20. ■

CANVAS D o w n

or the last five years, I've been forced into renting movies from Blockbuster Video, due to the large cor­ poration's unfortunate habit o f putting smaller stores out of business. There's been a growing hatred brewing inside me that gets bigger and bigger each time I'm asked the question, "Did you find everything you're looking for?" during checkout; each time I have to pay $ 5 .2 8 for a new release; and each time I'm forced to pay exorbitant late fees due to my laziness. And that is just the tip of my iceberg-sized disgust.

In the United States in particular, Blockbuster restricts which movies and versions of movies it carries. For instance, if you w ant to rent the N C -17version of Showgirls, you w on't be heading over to Blockbuster, because they only deem it suitable to carry the lame cen­ sored version. It's not like I actually care to watch this "mas­ terpiece" in all its artistic glory, but I'd sure as hell like the option. Secondly, Blockbuster doesn't carry porno flicks; again, it's not that I'm dying to see Shaving Ryan's Privates, but pornography is still cinema, and individuals do like to rent it. Furthermore, many foreign and independent films do not end up on Blockbuster's shelves.

F

play tells a story of luck and love.

Benjamin (Adam Goldhamer) has a problem—a big problem. He's a com­ pulsive gambler, and he just lost the money of his cancer-stricken girlfriend, Ruth, which was supposed to fund their upcoming trip to Mexico. Benjamin now has three days to get the money back before Ruth finds out.

In a search for guidance, Benjamin goes to synagogue, and stumbles upon an old prophet named Eli (jason Crelinsten), who can answer all of Benjamin's questions. Eli becomes Benjamin's confidante, and gives him advice on everything, including a gam­ bling tip about a horse at the racetrack.

Does Benjamin take Eli's tip and win back Ruth's money? W hen will she learn the truth?

Zadie's Shoes has a great cast of actors who embrace their characters, making the scenes entrancing.

Goldhamer ’is great as the neurotic, yet

w it h

th e

e v il e m p ir e

Besides deeming what content legal adults should and should not view, Blockbuster can also exert a huge, indirect influence on what studios and directors are willing to release. Since Blockbuster is one of the largest video rental suppliers in the w orld, with stores in the Americas, Europe, Asia, and Australia, their refusal to carry a movie can have serious economic implications. Therefore, it is in the studio's best interest to produce movies that do not get slapped with an N C -1 7 or X rating from the MPAA, which might jeopardize any opportunity to get teamed with Blockbuster.

Another w a y Blockbuster indirectly influences what we watch is by using its monopolistic power to put small video stores that do carry these kinds of titles out of business. This may not be a problem downtown, but in suburbia, the arrival of Blockbuster usually means the demise of local rental shops that simply can't com pete.w ith the media giant's size and marketing capabilities.

So, this issue may not be a big deal in itself, but it has implications for the future. W ith over 9 ,0 0 0 locations around the world, Blockbuster exerts enormous influence over what movies and information the general public has

access to. W ith this kind of power, it would be very easy for the company to simply not stock movies that promote views and perspectives that conflict with its ideology.

Fortunately, their monopoly may be starting to break.

Companies like the American-based Netflix are offering a w id e variety of movies and documentaries shipped right to your door at comparable prices, w hile other, more progres­ sive types of video shops are entering the market to fill the void. For example, a 24-hour, computer-operated, rental kiosk named "Videoself" recently opened across the street from the Blockbuster at the corner of rue Pins and rue St.Dominique. N ow , not only can I rent movies of all types and ratings at all hours of the night, but if I keep the movie for less than six hours, it only costs $ 1 .2 0 including tax.

Hopefully these alternatives w ill make you think twive before making it a Blockbuster night.

Apparently, I am not alone in my hatred for this heart­ less behemoth of a company. A quick G oogle search turned up numerous like-minded rants, as w ell as a large W e b forum for disgruntled Blockbuster employees—check out www.lhateblockbuster.com if you feel the same w a y (or if you just really like renting porn). ■

Better get your grad photo taken to be included in O LD M C G IL L 2 0 0 Î ■ The Official McGill Yearbook

J O S T E N 'S

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sp o rts SOCCER

-

TRINITY

WESTERN

3,

MARTLETS

H e a rtb re a k o n th e M c G ill le t s t w o - g o a l c u s h i o n f a d e M O H IT ARORA There has been a lot of talk about curses this fall, but as one prominent spell has been broken, maybe another one is starting to develop in its place.

Anyone who watched the Canadian Interuniversity Sport women's soccer final Sunday afternoon at CEPSUM can certainly attest to its potential merit. The M cG ill Martlets let a twogoal lead slip aw ay and had to settle for silver, losing to the Trinity Western Spartans in penalty kicks after extra time failed to break a 2-2 draw. Trinity Western tied the game in the final sec­ onds before winning its first soccer title.

The promise of the tight final matchup delivered seemed destined from the start, with plenty of scoring chances for both teams. Both goaltenders proved their might early on, with Martlet backstop Victoria Villalba making a save from point-blank range, to which Spartan keeper Angela Gariott responded by nabbing an attempt from Martlet Eloise Vandal from 2 0 yards out.

But M cG ills attack was reward­ ed in the 19th minute, when it created a mad scramble in front of the Trinity Western net. Forward Danielle Day, the CIS player of the year, then slid the ball over to an open Jennifer Scanzano, w ho deposited the first goal of the game. O nly two minutes later, M cG ill was awarded a free kick from 35 yards out, and Catherine Scott fired a seeing-eye bullet into the low left corner past a diving Gariott.

Trinity Western initially played with more aggression, racking up two yellow cards in the last five minutes of the half, but M cG ill didn't back down either. "[Trinity Western was] very physi­

TH E

RED

ca l—big, tall; a typical team from the W est," said M cG ill Head Coach M arc Mounicot of the Langley, BC, squad. "They had a good team, but I still believe that overall, w e were up to the challenge."

Indeed, the Martlets didn't back down from the Spartans, but halftime proved to be the ultimate momentum shift. Trinity Western came out gunning in the second half and scored in the fourth minute after the break, cutting the M cG ill edge to 2-1.

Though Trinity Western seemed to have new life after slicing the deficit in half, the Martlets didn't lose a step.

Their play didn't let up after the Spartans' marker and they had many chances to add an insurance goal but were stymied by near misses and strong goaltending.

Trinity W estern simply took advantage of the breaks and poured on the pressure in search of the tying goal, with Villalba doing all she could to weather the storm, even shaking off a Spartan forward who barreled into her in a race for the ball—a play that resulted in another yellow card for Trinity Western.

The Spartans kept mounting their attack, however, and were able to force a turnover in front of the M cG ill net. The ball squirted out to the left of Villalba, where Spartans' forw ard Rachelle Armstrong lobbed the ball into the net in the dying seconds of injury time, forcing the game to extra time.

The two extra periods failed to produce a victor, so the teams went to penalty kicks, and it was then that Gariott asserted herself, turning aw ay the Martlets, save after terrific save.

Trinity Western took the gold medal with a 2-0 edge in the shootout.

Day summarized her team's

2

hill aw ay

in c h a m p i o n s h i p g a m e

PATRICK FO K

M cG ill k e e p e r Victoria Villalba m an ag ed to stop this penalty kick, b u t let in tw o others in the M artlets' loss.

heartache after the game.

"It just sucks," she said. "W e had [the game] with a minute left, and we just lost it. It takes a lot of luck to win, and penalty shots are just luck of the draw. W e just missed our penalty shots."

W hen asked how the Martlets could have averted the Spartans' comeback, Day believed her team's opponent just got the breaks and M cG ill didn't.

"I don't think it was a letdown in our play," Day explained after the

match. "W e just had a couple mis­ takes and it cost us. In a game like this you can't afford to make mistakes."

Luck certainly seemed to escape the Martlets from the second half to the end of the game, as their continued strong play failed to yield that elusive third goal.

M cG ill earned the right to play in the final by dominating the Queen's G olden Gaels 3-1 in Saturday's semi­ final at Molson Stadium. In that match, Alanna M aloney opened the scoring for M cG ill in the sixth minute with

Catherine Scott notching the eventual gam ew inner on a penalty shot just after halftime.

The M cG ill women, one of the top soccer programs in the country, have now. had to settle for their fifth sil­ ver medal since they first appeared in the national tournament in 1989.

W ith the w ay the Martlets lost on Sunday, the question has to be asked: Is there a new curse? ■ —with files from Dan McQuillan

ZONE C IS s e d

o ff

b y

u n iv e r s it y

s p o r t 's

g o v e r n in g

b o d y A N D R E W SEGAL

ranted, the BCS is a terrible w a y to end US college football's season. And, sure, the N C A A makes tons of money off the backs of its athletes without compensat­ ing them. But if Canadians want the best examples of full-scale bungling by a national collegiate sports administration, w e'd do well to start in our own backyards.

Since it was rechristened in 2 0 0 1 , C anadian Interuniversity Sport has done some things right, most notably solidifying TV contracts for football and its national champi­ onships. But CIS remains so full of irrationalities that a sensible educational institution like M cG ill should be ashamed to call itself a member.

Take the recently concluded national soccer champi­ onships, jointly hosted by M cG ill and Université de Montréal.

The University of Western O ntario headed in as the top team in the nation on the womens side, while Montréal was the nations best men's group, but both squads finished the tourna­ ment in fifth place. Sure, surprises can happen, and that's part of what makes playoffs so incredible. But while once is an upset, twice is a trend, and CIS's method of determining a national champion denied these teams a fair shot.

You don't have to suffer through Intro to Deductive Logic to know that a tournament that separates six teams into two

G

pools should be designed to allow the two best pre-tourney teams to meet in the final game. And, yet, there were the Mustangs, taking on the second- and third-highest ranked squads, M cG ill and Queen's. Perhaps even our own Martlets, who suffered a huge letdown in the second half of the final game against Trinity Western [only fifth-best heading into the weekend), were exhausted from having fought through the championship's strongest teams in round robin play. The men's tournament wasn't planned any better, with top-seeded Montréal having to contend with the third- and fourth-ranked squads in the country in its pool.

All this might be less significant were it not for the glaring lack of crossover games, in which teams from one pool face teams from another, with the winners advancing and the losers relegated to the consolation bracket. But in its infinite wisdom and desire to cut costs, CIS crams the tournament into four days. This ensures that if a great team has a couple of bad outings it's game over for them, effectively nullifying the signif­ icance of a 10-plus game regular season.

But at least soccer teams get a national tournament. The same can't be said for men's rugby, from which CIS withholds national varsity sport status for reasons even Miss Cleo could­ n't divine. Meanwhile, women's field hockey— in which fewer

schools participate than men's rugby—and women's rugby crown national champions. So much for that June 2 0 0 4 CIS policy statement that aims to "maintain a balance in the com­ petitive opportunities available to both genders at the national level." Our male ruggers beat Bishop's and took the provincial crown last weekend, but, due to CIS's shortsightedness, they are bereft of an opportunity to match up with Canada's best.

CIS's main, if not sole, purposed to provide a framework to determine the top teams in the nation. And yet, somehow, its attempts are as ill-fated as a Jennifer Lopez-Ben Affleck mar­ riage. Its national tournaments lack consistency—women's soc­ cer round robin games used penalty kicks to break ties, while the men's games did not. Its six-team, two-pool format, which awards an automatic berth to the host team, is all about cut­ ting costs and driving up revenue rather than crowning a true champion. And it appears arbitrary and discriminatory when choosing which sports to grant national championship status.

As an influentiak-member, M cG ill and its athletic depart­ ment should push CIS for change, to ensure that as many M cG ill teams as possible can be represented on the national level, and have a good shot at winning a fair tournament. Until then, I'll take the N C A A and its warts any day. At least it's trying to fix the BCS. ■

S O C C E R

-

V I C T O R IA

S ilv e r lin in g I m

p r o b a b le

ru n

3,

R E D M E N

d is a p p o in t in g c o m

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the mcgill tribune | 16.11.04 | sports 21

1

b u t

v ic t o r y

s u r p r is in g s h y

o f

O FF

TH E

t it le

BEATEN

PATH

S y n c h r o n iz e

t h is !

JO SEPH G ILG O FF It took the height and strength of a powerful opposition, the elements against them, and their own tired legs to eventually bring the M cG ill Redmen down, but not before the team had put together a captivating and improbable run to make the national championship game.

The men's soccer team earned the silver medal after a hard-fought 31 loss to the Victoria Vikes at CEPSUM Sunday afternoon. It was the first time in Canadian Interuniversity Sport soccer history that a team that failed to qualify for the playoffs reached the gold medal game.

Despite ending the season on a losing note, the Redmen proved to the rest of the soccer world that they were among the nations elite, a fact that the team itself never doubted.

"W hen it came time to perform, w e d id," said co-captain and defend­ er J.P. Desjardins. "I'm so proud of the team."

M cG ill finished the regular sea­ son with a mediocre 5-4-5 record, enduring rollercoaster ride full of per­ sonal hardships, injuries, missed opportunities, and unrealized poten­ tial. The Redmen only qualified for the playoffs as hosts and entered the tour­ nament confident in their abilities but as marked underdogs.

H eading into the showdown with Victoria, Head Coach Adam M ar predicted that heart, not talent, would be the deciding factor in the game's outcome.

Indeed, the Redmen's momentum and determina­ tion seemed to help them in the first half against the Vikes, as the Red 'n' W hite outplayed their more talented and physically superior opponents, winning countless balls and earning several quality chances.

Despite McGill's strong play, the Vikes managed to rip the net first, scoring in the 28th minute of the game after a free kick from close to midfield was allowed to drop in front of M cG ill's net untouched.

Redmen keeper Jose-Luis Valdez redeemed himself soon after, coming up with his most exceptional save of the day, which led directly to a charge on offence. Star midfielder

A n o th e r y o u r

u n d e r w

t o

h o ld

a t e r

t's the sport that has 1 1 teams from across Canada now regis­ tered for the university championship, up from five only three years ago. It's the same sport that has expanded so much on this campus that its members fill two novice teams and two advanced teams. O h, and all of its members are female. W h ile there isn't a rule excluding boys, they don't join. W h y you ask? Because they can't float.

True, the idiosyncratic nature of synchronized swimming, aka synchro, makes it easy to mock: one just needs to watch the famous Saturday N ight Live sketch of two grown men idiotically (and hilari­ ously) trying to advance the sport within their sex. But the athletes w ho have been waking up at five in the morning practicing for over a decade, and who do the splits/Taebo/w eight lifting/endurance training don't find it so funny.

W ell, yes, the cheering is weird because they only yell when the competitors' heads are above w ater—short burst of encourage­ ment between deep breaths. And, granted, it is strange to hear about solo synchronized swimmers—who are they in sync with any­ way? But synchro is legitimate, even if it does require make up and hair gelatin. The stands are always packed for each event and the sport has been in the Olympics for many years now.

I

VIADIMIR EREM IN

M cG ill g ot past St. M ary's (above in d ark jerseys) on its w ay to the final.

Jamie Scholefield eventually con­ trolled the ball just yards aw ay from Victoria's net and exhibited impres­ sive patience and savvy, drawing the defence toward him before setting up Kyle Graham with a perfect pass. The veteran knew exactly what to do with it, as he one-timed his second goal of the playoffs in the 4 2 nd minute to knot the match at 1-1.

The second half was all downhill for the Redmen, though, as they final­ ly began to feel the physical wear of the previous games. The Vikes also capitalized on their advantage in height, expertly executing their aerial attack and winning nearly every jump ball. Eventually they found a hole in the M cG ill defence and scored on an easy chance with only 10 minutes left in regulation to gain the lead for good. They added another to seal the victory in the 86th minute, as the Redmen were caught shorthanded on defence in their desperate push to score an equalizer.

The team expressed humility in the loss, however disappointing it may have been.

"Overall w e played w ell," com­ mented Mar. "W e really came togeth­ er at the end. A couple of breaks and it would've been much different."

The Redmen played a competi­ tive game and provided an unforget­

M a r t le t s t r ik e r d e e m e d

Martlet soccer star Danielle Day capped a stellar season this week by capturing the Chantal N avert Memorial Award as the Canadian Interuniversity Sport player of the year, adding to an already long list of accolades.

The Physical and Occupational Therapy student was also named the Quebec league MVP after leading the Martlets to their sixth Q uebec Student Sport Federation title in seven years.

The striker had a hand in nearly half of M cG ill's goals this season, and was named MVP at this week­ end's national championship tourna­ ment, in which the Martlets came aw ay with a silver medal.

Day is the captain of the M cG ill squad for a very good reason, and she keeps her personal accomplish­

b r e a t h

r e a s o n

KATHERINE FUGLER

table end to their up-and-down sea­ son, exhibiting superior character and determination in their playoff revival. Valdez shook off early season goalie woes and played ferociously in the post-season, earning the respect and admiration of his team­ mates. Alexandre Scott kept the offence steady, allow ing players like Scholefield, Juan-lgnacio Zavagno, and Alec M ilne to shine. Graham returned from injuries to be a post-sea­ son force, and the defence came together to form a gritty group.

Following their strong effort against St. Mary's in the first game of the round robin, the Redmen needed to beat the University of Toronto by at least two goals to qualify for the gold medal match and they did so with a stirring 3-0 victory. M ilne opened the scoring for M cG ill with a goal that proved to be the game-winner.

Defensive leader Derek Tsang felt nothing but pride at the efforts of the back line, and the team as a whole, despite the loss in the final.

"It was an honour playing with all of them— my boys," the veteran sighed. "W e stepped it up in the end.

Hey, second best in C anada."

Tsang grasped his silver medal and smiled. N o t bad for a team that wasn't even supposed to be in the playoffs. ■

MAR T L E T S S O C C E R

M O HIT ARORA

g o o d

n a t io n 's

ments in the context of the team.

"Obviously it's an honour to be given that, but it's a team sport and I couldn't do it without my team," she said. "It reflects on my team and should be considered a team aw ard."

Though the Martlets are a peren­ nial contender at both the provincial and national level, Day is only the third M cG ill player to be named the nation's top player, joining Eva M elam ed in 2 0 01 and O d ile Desbois in 19 97 . Day hopes that the attention she has received will shed some light on McGill's women's soc­ cer program , w hich has been extremely successful in recent years and is poised to continue its run of dominance in Quebec. "[The aw ard] reflects well on the strong soccer program w e have here... as well as on the university in general," she said. "It has a lot to do

b e st

with the coaches and ' how they choose the players and train them.

W e have a great coaching staff."

At the helm of this staff is Head Coach M arc Mounicot, w ho has no trouble appreciating the impact that Day has on his team.

"She was a great member of the team, especially this year with her leadership," he said. "She fed off the players around her and created scor­ ing chances time and again. She deserved what she got."

The heartbreaking defeat to Trinity Western University on Sunday, however, has made this honour bitter­ sweet for Day. "The only thing I wanted, really, was the gold medal," she~said. "This would mean a lot more if w e had won. I would trade [the aw ard] for the gold." ■ —with files from Dan McQuillan

JA M ES G R O H S G A L

M e m o ria l Pool is app aren tly an excellent source o f pennies.

Think of it this way: wrestlers wear leotards and football play­ ers like to pat each other on the butt, and no one questions the validity of these as sports. The fact that synchro gets less respect because of the discipline's artistic nature is wearing kind of thin.

Let me dispel a few other myths for you. First off, synchro swim­ mers eat. W hile watching Saturday's meet—at which M cG ill won the gold and silver in the novice division, and finished first and fourth in the advanced team division—the swimmers were all wan­ dering around in little shorts eating cheese with bagels or crackers, debunking the notion of famished, thin-obsessed competitors.

Another cool fact: as in all good sports films, during synchro performances, a soundtrack follows the actors during play and practice. The music isn't just piped anthems to get the crow d excit­ ed either—Queen does not dominate the moments between com­ petitions. Instead, there is pop, classical, percussion, and rock.

I think it is the mixture of strength and synchronicity that makes this sport so interesting to watch. The powerful muscles that propel the swimmers' bodies above the water and the ability to count each beat to know what exact movement they should be doing are phe­ nomenal features of the sport. And the routines last anywhere from one minute to three, but don't be fooled by the shortness—try hold­ ing your breath and running for a minute. All of this while smiling never w avering— is even more impressive. Synchro really is a men­ tal sport that demands not only physical strength, but also grace.

Most important, synchro appeals to the cattiness in all of us.

It's competitive and supportive, and the girls cheer for each other, but deep down, you know they are saying, "Bitch, back off!"

M cG ill Synchro welcomes beginners and the elite who may want to brush up on their skills. Visit www.universitysynchro.ca for more information.

Katherine Fugler was blackmailed into writing this article by her sister, who is on the synchro team. But after seeing the athletes push each other into splits and swim for three hours, she is now filled with much respect... and fear. ■

22 sports | 16.1104 | the mcgill tribune

PREVI EW - RE DME N R e d m e n

OFF C AMP US

HOCKEY

p r o v id e

M c G ill

N H L

r e lie f

in

N e w s e a s o n h o ld s p r o m is e fo r w e ll- r o u n d e d s q u a d JOSEPH G ILG O FF Hockey fans w ho long for the Habs need not fret any longer—quali­ ty home team action is only three bucks and a trek up the hill away.

This year's M cG ill Redmen repre­ sent one of the most talented groups the university has ever sported, and Fridays 5-0 obliteration of the rival Queens Golden Gaels is a pretty good indication of how the group intends to use that talent. The decisive victory, M cG ills fifth in its last seven games, featured a tantalizing combi­ nation of inspired, physical play and execution.

The swarming defence, led by fifth-year captain Daniel Jacob, seemed to rattle the Queens crew from the start, and the visitors were prone to numerous penalties and give­ aways. The Redmen's offensive unit, meanwhile, capitalized time after time to the delight of a rowdy McConnell Arena crowd. Fourth^/ear centre Doug O rr netted two goals in the romp, and prophesizes that Fridays result could be a regular occurrence this season.

"W e have a good recruiting class this year, and w e didn't lose many guys," says the Newmarket, Ontario native, a nephew of NHL great Bobby. "If w e work harder than the other team, w e'll win every night."

The class that O rr speaks of is one of the main reasons for the club's optimism. W hile the Redmen will miss departed players such as forwards Joel Bergeron and Bruno Lemire, the new talent does more than compen­ sate. Martin Raymond, in his 10th season as the winningest coach in Redmen history, recruited four players from the Quebec M ajor Junior Hockey League: goalie Mathieu Poitras and wingers Jean-Michel Daoust, Eric L'Italien, and Charles Gauthier.

"Some years there aren't a lot of kids who have the marks to come to M cG ill and who are good hockey players," explains Raymond. "This year there was a deep talent pool and w e were able to get a few great play­ ers."

Leading the new blood is Daoust, an offensive force whom Raymond describes as "very cre­ ative." Daoust also showed he has ample grit to match his dazzling puck handling, initiating himself into the Queen's rivalry in style by laying out a Golden G ael in a hit so vicious it earned him a game misconduct. He joins an offensive unit that already fea­ tures last year's team MVP Benoit Martin, Ken Davis, Greg LeBlanc, and Orr. O n defence, Jacob, a 6 '6 " bruis­ er, and alternate captain M ark

Debusschere provide veteran leader­ ship for a deep, athletic unit, while newcomer Poitras—w ho looked crisp against Queen's while making 17 saves for the shutout—and holdover Patrice Godin offer the Redmen two solid options between the pipes.

Indeed, depth is one of the Redmen's greatest strengths this sea­ son. Their wealth of talent allows the team to roll its lines without sacrificing its level of play, resulting in 6 0 minutes of intense skating. Four différent p ia f ers scored goals against Queen's, and this type of incessant, balanced attack should be a consistent theme for this year's squad.

"W e can do pretty much every­ thing right now," says Raymond. "It makes us a little bit more unpre­ dictable, which is a good thing."

Despite a 5-4 loss to Royal M ilitary College on Saturday, it's safe to say that the team's enthusiasm is more than just talk; the Redmen carry themselves with a swagger and have the goods to back it up. Like any promising group at the beginning of the season, this team believes the sky is the limit.

"W e can go all the way," asserts Raymond. "W e're very excited."

Judging from the ecstatic roars of a packed McConnell Arena on Friday night, he's not the only one. ■

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M O H IT ARORA For many Canadian television junkies, CBC s M aking the Cut is just what the doctor ordered. The show combines two phenomena for which our passion has no limit: hockey and reality television. M aking the Cut is a series based on an intensive hockey tryout and selection process, being led by none other than coaching greats Scotty Bowman and M ike Keenan.

The two, as well as a slew of other coaches and ex-NHL players, conduct a training camp, and eventu­ ally pare down 6 8 players to six. The grand prize for these lucky and talent­ ed players is a tryout with each Canadian NHL team. The original 68 have been whittled down to 1 8 so far, with a final game and show to be aired live in December. Two of those finalists have been displaying their Redmen roots along the way.

Bruno Lemire played three sea­ sons with M cG ill, amassing 28 goals and 81 points in that time, along with captaining last year's Redmen squad.

Alongside him is current M cG ill alter­ nate captain Daniel Jacob, a rugged defenceman who has amassed 2 7 7 penalty minutes in his first three years for the Red 'n' W hite. The Tribune caught up with Jacob to find out about his experience on the show.

M cG ill Tribune: W h a t is it like try­ ing out with all of those cameras around? Does this feel like a normal training camp, or are you always aware of the fact that it's a show?

Daniel Jacob: You definitely know it's a show. They had a big con­ ference with the staff, coaches, and producers, just to let us know what it would be about. You know, the cam­ eras, what w e can and can't talk about, all that. W e met with their lawyers as well. So w e knew it would be serious stuff.

MT: W h a t is it like playing for the likes of Bowman and Keenan?

DJ: It was quite impressive meet­ ing the greatest coach of all time [Bowman], They're both really great guys. They were chilling out and jok­ ing with us, but when the cameras were there they were back to normal, back to being coaches.

MT: It seems as though there are a lot more people involved in this tryout than is normal. H ow helpful is the staff in general?

DJ: It was a great atmosphere. All the people in camp were there to guide us. All the coaches who are there have a lot of experience and are really helpful with giving us tips on how to improve our games. And everyone else helps, too. Like, the psy­ chologist is there to talk about what we're going through. It was really tough mentally. W e were there for two weeks and there was a lot of pressure, so it was good to be able to talk about everything.

MT: W ith all the extra stuff hap­ pening around the actual hockey, do you feel like you're able to give the coaches a good look at you? Is it hard getting their attention?

DJ: They had some set standards, specific things they were looking for in the tryouts. And everyone gets stereo­ typed. W ith Bruno, they know he's small (5 '5 ” ), but he can skate and he's

M A K IN G T H E C U T .C A

Daniel Jacob survived the cut, but u nfortu nately his shirt didn't.

going to score. I'm tall |6'6"), so I have to be physical. There's a stereo­ type for each type of player.

MT: But shouldn't coaches like Bowman and Keenan be able to look past all that? They have won 10 Stanley Cups combined. Don't they have an eye for talent that can look past preconceptions?

DJ: They can't see everything.

Look at Martin St. Louis. C algary just gave up and traded him, and look at him now [the NHL MVP], Coaches know what they want. W hen you're a small guy you have to prove yourself all the time. But when you're a tall guy, they see you right away, but you have to be careful because everyone's going to try you out.

MT: H ow helpful is it to have Bruno there with you? Are you able to feed off each other at all?

DJ: W e played on the same team for almost the entire show, so w e were lucky. Having Bruno there, it's special because you feel he's like your broth­ er. You've been playing with the guy for three years, you know him, he knows you, and you know he's going to support you.

MT: Do you watch the show reg­ ularly?

DJ: I watch it in French all the time!

MT: Describe the experience of watching a television show that you're featured in.

DJ: The good thing about watch­ ing the show is that w e didn't know what was happening upstairs in the w ar room, so I'm finding everything out at the same time as my friends and family. I thought there would be more hockey involved. But you know what, the show is good. It's fun to see that it's a real success.

The date of the final episode of M aking the Cut has not yet been deter­ mined. Keep an eye out for the show's listings by flipping to "O n Deck" in the back page of the Tribune. ■

S T A N

the mcgill tribune j 16.11.04 j sports 2 3

DI N G S

HOCKEY (M)

W

L

T

OTL

PTS

O U A FAR EAST O ttawa

5

2

1

0

in

McGill

5

3

1

0

111

Concordia

5

3

0

0

j 10

UQTR

4

2

1

0

(9 \

HOCKEY (W)

W

T

L

PTS

O ttawa

3

1

2

8

McGill

3

2

2

8

Concordia

3

3

1

7

Carleton

0

5

1

1

V-BALL

W

L

PF

PA

PTS i

MEN Montréal

4

0

12

3

8

Laval

3

1

10

5

6

Sherbrooke

1

3

6

11

2

McGill

0

4

3

12

0

Sherbrooke

4

0

12

2

8

Montréal

2

2

9

8

4

Laval

1

3

6

10

2

McGill

1

3

4

11

2

W OMEN

O U A MID EAST RMC

3

1

0

4

10

Queen's

4

4

0

0

8

Toronto

3

4

1

Ryerson

0

8

0

7 o .........

0 0

Playoff qualification: Men's hockey—two division winners and the four next-best teams, without regard to division.

W om ens hockey—top three teams.

BOX SCORE

ON D E C K REDMEN and MARTLETS BASKETBALL-Bishops @ M cG ill, Fri. Nov. 19, 6 and 8pm, Love Competition Hall Both teams look to get off the schneid against the Gaiters. The men seem to have a better chance, as last year's Bishop's men's .team went just 5-1 1. The lady Gaiters, on the other hand, finished first with a 12-4 record.

MARTLETS H O C K E Y -C on cordia @ M cG ill, Sun. Nov. 21, 1pm, McConnell Arena The then fifth-ranked Martlets knocked off the then third-ranked Stingers last w eek on Concordia's home ice. M cG ill has since moved up to fourth in the nation, and looks to continue its climb towards the top of the QSSF (and the country) by taking down their cross-town rivals again.

GREY CUP—BC vs. Toronto, Sun. Nov. 2 1 , 5:3 0pm on CBC A new champ will be crowned in O ttaw a, as the Lions take on the Argos in the 92nd edition of the CFL championship. Enjoy this one, Canadian sports fans, as it's all just junior and varsity hockey from here on in.

NFL—Giants @ Falcons, Sun. Nov. 2 1 , 4 : 1 5 pm on Fox. The Eli Manning era begins for the Giants, as the rookie pivot will start in place of two-time MVP Kurt Warner. He looks to turn N e w York's fortunes around against M ichael Vick and the 7-2 Falcons.

M cG ill Redmen vs. Queen's Golden Gaels November 12, 2 0 0 4 , McConnell Arena SCORING SUMMARY First Period: 1. M c G ill—P-A Paquette (C. Gauthier, G . LeBlanc) 0 3 :2 5 2. M c G ill—M . Debusschere (S. Langbis, G . LeBbnc) 14 :09 |SH) PENALTIES: Queen's—BENCH (On Ice Too Soon), 0 0 :0 0 ; Queen's— K. Cassidy (Rough), 0 9 :3 7 ; M c G ill—D. O rr (Rough), 0 9 :3 7 , M c G ill—J.M. Daoust (Board, Auto Game), 0 9 :3 7 ; Queen's—M De Luiso (Slash), 17 :03; M c G ill—L. M adill (Slash), 17 :03; Queen's—B. Dean (Rough), 17.03 Second Penod" 3. M c G ill—D. O rr (G. LeBbnc, M . Debusschere) 0 1 :1 0 4. M c G ill—L. M adill (D. Jacob, M . Debusschere) 0 4 :5 0 (PP) 5. M c G ill—D. Orr (P-A Paquet, G . LeBbnc) 0 8 :5 8 PENALTIES: Queen's—M . Billmghurst (Hold), 0 3 :3 7 ; M cG ill — D. Jacob (Hold), 12 :59, Q ueens—M . De Luiso (Hold), 18 :27; Queen's—B. Dean (High-stick), 19 :5 9 Third Period: (no scoring) PENALTIES: M c G ill—C. Blundy (Interfere), 0 3 :3 5 ; M c G ill—M . Poitras (Delay), 0 4 :3 4 ; M c G ill—G . LeBlanc (Cross-check), 0 5 :5 3 ; Q ueens—M . De Luiso (Trip), 0 6 :4 3 ; M c G ill—M .

Leclerc (Trip), 12:57; M c G ill-P .O . Gosselin (Fight Major, Game), 1 2 :57; Queen's—W . W eir (Fight Major, Game), 12:57; Queen's—M . De Luiso (Major, Double Gm), 12 :57; M c G ill—T. Kyres (Major, Double Gm), 12:57, Q ueens—B. Olsen (Misconduct), 1 2 :5 7 ; AAcGill—S. Langbis (Misconduct), 12 :57; Queen's—C. Johnston (Misconduct), 12 :57; AAcGill—C. Blundy (Misconduct), 12 :57; Queen's—A. Archibald (Misconduct), 12:57, M c G ill—D. Jacob (Cross-check), 16 :37; Queen's—B. Dean (Rough), 19:33 GOALTENDERS: Matthew Kenney, Queen's (L, 6 0 :0 0 5G A, 19 saves) Mathieu Poitras, AAcGill (W, 6 0 :0 0 OGA, 17 saves)

JA M ES G R O H S G A L

Ami Feige ♦ U1 Science ♦ Toronto ♦ Synchro swimming

Q : W hy synchro? W hy not rac­ ing o r diving?

A: It's just very different from any other sport. Plain swim­ ming is very boring, its just back and forth, so I chose syn­ chro.

Q : M any people believe that synchro is more performance art than sport. Do you feel that is the case?

A: N o ! Try running up a hill five times w h ile holding your breath. That is what it is like after [you swim] at a meet.

Q: W hat's that stuff in your hair, and how do you get it out?

A: It's gelatin. It's the stuff that makes Jell-O sticky and stick together [To get it out, w e use]

shampoo and hot water—a lot of hot water.

Q : W hy do you wear all that makeup?

A: W hen you are out (swim­ ming] this far aw ay [from the crow d and judges], people can't see you. W hen you have the dark makeup on they can see every feature.

Q : Do you wear your bathing suit around the house?

A: N o.

Ami coaches and swims with the White team. She also com­ petes in the duet category this year, in which she won the gold medal last year with partner Steph Landry.

—compiled by Katherine Fugler

R O U N D THE H O R N

SHOTS BY PERIOD: 1 2 3 Total M cG ill 9 7 8 24 Queen's 2 7 8 17

RANTS

&

RAVES

M artlets, R edm en at back of pack at X-country nationals

!

McGill's cross-country runners couldn't keep up with the rest of the schools at nationals, with the women placing 14th out of 17 teams, and the men in 11 th of 13 teams at the cham­ pionships held Saturday in Guelph, Ontario.

Dalhousie University captured the women's championship with 5 9 points, well ahead of the AAartlets, whose scorers totaled 3 9 0 points. AAcGill's top finisher was Jane Cullis, who finished 49th overall in a time of 19 minutes, despite losing a shoe at the beginning of the race. Other M cG ill scorers includ­ ed Laura W ilson in 67th, and Lauren White, Megan Vuksic and Erin Prosk, all of whom placed between 95th and 99th.

Jeff AAcCabe paced the Redmen, finishing in 34th place out of 9 9 competitors on the 10km course in a time of 3 2 :5 8 .

But his solid peformance didn't gain AAcGill any ground on the repeat champions from the University of Windsor, who swept the podium positions. Other AAcGill finishers included rookies Stephen Douglas and James Young, who finished just seconds apart in 59th and 60th place, respectively.

V-ballers can't serve up victory

Both the Martlets and Redmen fell in straight sets to the Université de Montréal volleyball teams on Friday. The women's match was delayed twice for a total o f about 3 0 minutes due to relocation necessitated by two net anchors breaking though the floor holders. W hen the games resumed, Montréal contin­ ued its dominance, taking the sets 25-14, 25-20, and 25-21.

Maxime Lefebvre led the w ay for the Martlets with 13 kills, while Christine Borisov had 12 digs and six kills.

The men kept things close in the first set, dropping it by a score of 25-22, but then couldn't keep up the charge as Montréal coasted in the next two sets, 25-15 and 25-19. Paul Grinswald starred for a Redmen squad missing star Andrew Royes, who was out with a leg injury. He recorded 14 kills and 10 digs, while Chris Jones had six kills, three stuff blocks, and two digs.

Next week, the Martlets head to Sherbrooke for the Omnium Vert & O r tourney, while the men head to the east coast for interlocking games with Atlantic University Sport teams.

Laval moves on to football national semi-final

The Laval Rouge et O r did on Saturday what the AAcGill Redmen could not do in three attempts this year—beat the Montréal Carabins.

Laval advanced to the Uteck Bowl against the W ilfrid Laurier University Golden Hawks by handing the top-ranked Carabins their first loss of the season, 30-12. After a tightly-con­ tested first quarter that saw Montréal take a 6-2 lead, the Rouge et O r scored 21 second-quarter points that gave them a 23-9 advantage at the half. Laval then held on for the win, adding a fourth-quarter touchdown to seal the victory.

Laurier, now the only undefeated team in the country, earned its spot in the Uteck Bowl courtesy of a 31-19 victory over a AAcMaster team that was without star running back Jesse Lumsden. The national semi-final game goes on Saturday at Laval's PEPS in Ste-Foy, with the winner earning a spot in the Vanier Cup game against either Saskatchewan or St. Mary's.

In brief

The Martlets hockey team played three non-conference games against teams from the Atlantic conference. They lost 41 Friday at St. Francis-Xavier University, but rebounded in Halifax on Saturday and Sunday, defeating Dalhousie 3-2 and St,. AAary's 8-5... Five members of the Redmen football team were named all-conference: quarterback Matt Connell—who became the first M cG ill pivot in 2 6 years so honoured— receivers Rob LeBlanc and Alex Martin, centre Ben Walsh, and defensive end Kerwin Clarke... Kathleen Dempster and Nicole Perry from the AAartlets field hockey team were selected to the O U A all-star second team.

INTRAMURAL CORNER Ball Hockeys AAen's division A Upcoming Championship N ov 28, 0 4 4:00pm Goldie Goldthorpe vs. Chiefs

Fox announcer Cris Collinsworth should focus more on the game taking place on the field and less on the sound of his own voice... Is it any coincidence that we're seeing so many brand new Red Sox caps around campus recently? N ice try, but we know you're just bandwagon jumpers..

O n the other hand, kudos to Dave Wannstedt for stepping down as head coach of the Dolphins now and let others fix the crummy situation in Miami. Otherwise, he would have just played dead man walking and got­ ten fired after the season anyway... And big, big ups to Toronto Raptors head coach Sam Mitchell for grounding A ir Canada when appropriate. After a summer of cater­ ing to the whiny Vince Carter (read: kissing his ass), it's good to see that Mitchell is in contol of this team.

Womens division A Upcoming Semifinals N ov 16, 0 4 6:30pm Transporting vs. Balls R Us N ov 16, 0 4 7:30pm AAISA All-Stars vs. AAISA Rebels Basketball AAen's division A Upcoming Quarterfinals N ov N ov N ov N ov

18, 0 4 21, 0 4 2 1 ,0 4 2 1 ,0 4

*7 3 0 2 :3 0 3 :3 0 4 :3 0

Usual Suspects vs. Scrubs Balls vs. A perfect Murder Pop Ya Collar vs. Blue Demons F the Patio vs. Canadian idol

N o v e m b e r 1 9 th, 2 0 0 4 D o o rs o p e n a t 10p m

Shatner Building - 3480 McTavish arrive before 11:30to be suretoget in an18+ over event

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