The McGill Tribune Vol. 15 Issue 14

Published by the Students’ Society of McGill University

McGill gears up to celebrate 175 years

t h is w e e k News $500,000 life insurance plan for SSMU general manager Page 3

D isc o v e r the w inter

Science

w o n d erlan d that is

The question of writing med­ ical “Do not resuscitate” orders Page 1

M c G ill

By Jason S icurdson ________

This year marks the 175th anniversary of the founding of McGill University. The coordinat­ ing committee for the celebrations have many unusual events planned to celebrate the event.

These celebrations, which have been in the planning stages since late 1994, are intended to bring the entire McGill community together. Furthermore, this anniversary is an opportunity to reflect on the past, discuss the future, and assert McGill’ s posi­ tion in the province and the imme­ diate Montreal area.

The McGill 175 celebrations will officially begin with the open­ ing of the Winter Carnival on January 26.

The 350,000 pound ice palace, which is being constructed under the direction of Architecture Professor Pieter Sijpkes, will be the carnival’ s headquarters. The design of the palace is intended to replicate the Roman Parthenon.

However, in its current state, the construction falls short of its pre­ dicted size. It will also be home to the open air pub where hot choco­ late and food can be purchased.

Coordinator of McGill 175, Keith Gallop noted that the patron demands will be somewhat weath­ er dependent.

“Maybe if it warms up to -2 degrees, some people will want a beer,” he ventured.

The McGill Improv, usually featured in the A lley on Wednesday nights, will also make use of the palace with a Friday evening performance.

The overall purpose of the carnival is to bring together under­ graduate and graduate students as well as faculty and staff.

Features Headline news: what made it in ‘95 and what to expect in ‘96 Page 9

Entertainment Starting the new year with a Kick, Plus a comprehensive ‘95 review.

Page 13

Sports Martlet volleyball conquers Con U tourney.

Page 16

C o lu m n ists Ted Frankel............. Page 11 Don McGowan........... Page 7 Mila Aung-Thwin.......Page 7

D e p a rtm e n ts Crossword......................Page8 Observer.........................Page8 What’s O n................Page 23

M c G iL L

> N IG H T L IN E 5 9 8 -6 2 4 6 A confidential information, listening and referral service.

For students, by students.

Open 9pm-3am until Sept 30 6pm-3am thereafter

A wide range of activities are planned to commerate McGill’s 1 75th anniversary Because the student popula­ tion has grown so much over the years, the nature of the carnival has changed, resulting in frag­ mented events organized by indi­ vidual faculties. Gallop hopes that this year’ s event will be different.

“McGill used to have a fabu­ lous tradition o f Winter

Carnivals,” he said. “As the offi­ cial opening of the 175th anniver­ sary celebrations, the Winter Carnival will recreate the splendor of past winter carnivals.”

A portion of lower campus will be flooded to create a skating rink. Other events will include snow volleyball in the Three Bares

Thurs/Fri:

10:30 am

H

99<5

:e M o n tr e a l T ru st Oi

« S U B U IR Y * The Place Where Fresh is the Taste/

5:oopm p l a c e M o n t r e a l T r u st LO W ER

4:00 pm

Continued on Page 4 ►►

O ffe r v a lid u n til J a n u a r y 3 1 , I

Mon/Tues/Wed

10:30 am - 6:00 p •••

area, a hockey puck shoot off, human power sled races, and snowboarding demonstrations on the slopes in front of the Redpath Museum. Bonfires will light out­ door events that continue into the evening, and the SSM U is also holding its Four Floors party in the

LEVEL

1 6 0 0 M c G ill College Avenue

«SUBUJRV^ The Place W h e re Fresh is the Taste

Page 2 N e W S

January 10th, 1996

Concerns about SSM U ’s $17,000 computer purchase tioned the way in which the execu­ tive decision to allocate funds was made.

By Joyce Lau

the executives’ computers have caused problems for some time. “ Last year, Jen [Sm all],

SSM U’ s political researcher, along with four execu­ tives, have turned in their IBMs for $17,000 worth of Macintosh computers and software.

The new system was chosen for its efficiency and viable long term use.

In turn, the old PCs will be used to create a com­ puter lab for SSMU’s sev­ enty-plus clubs and ser­ vices.

The package includes five PowerMac 7200’ s, Illustratortrn, two copies of the layout program Pagemaker1111, and Adobe Photoshop1111, which works with graphics and photographs as comput­ erised documents.

Plans for purchasing new software for the accounting department, as Jen Harding caught between two worlds o f IBM and Macs well as two new IBMs for Cornell [Wright] and Nick Sadie’s and for SSMU VP Finance [Benedict] had horrible computers.

SSMU office audit Kelly Remai, are still in the works.

They’re okay for WordPerfect 5.1, While the purchase of the new According to SSM U VP and that’ s about it. Most of the computers has been defended by the executives, some critics have ques- Internal Jen Harding, the quality of computers didn’t even have hard

Q

u

e s t i o

n

s ?

We have the answers!

We're the AUS/SUS peer advisers and we're here to help you deal with the confusion of course and program selection, adjusting to university and more.

We've been through it too!

Visit us today in ARTS B55E. The McGill Tribune is published by the Students’ Society of McGill University William Shatner University Centre, Rm BUI A, rue McTavish Montréal, Québec,. CANADA H3A 1X9 Advertising Office: (514)398-6806 Editorial Office: (514)398-6789/3666 Fax: (514)398-7490 Editorial Office:

Letters must include author’s name, signature, identification (e.g. U2 Biology, SSMU President) and telephone number and be typed double-spaced or submitted on disk in Macintosh or IBM word processor format. Letters more than 300 words, pieces for ‘Stop The Press’ more than 500 words, or submissions judged by the Editorin-Chief to be libellous, sexist, racist or homophobic will not be published. The Tribune reserves the right to edit letters for length. Place submissions in the Tribune mail box, across from the SSMU front desk or FAX to 398-7490. Columns appearing under ‘Editorial’ heading are decided upon by the editorial board and written by a member of the editorial board. All other opinions are strictly those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the opinions of the McGill Tribune, its editors or its staff. Please recycle this newspaper.

drives — they’re quite funny,” she stated.

“There are two of the comput­ ers that crash two or three times a day,” added Remai.

In response, Political Researcher Damion Stodola con­ ducted a computer audit of the six­ teen-member office. He also spoke to various computer consultants and corporations.

What Stodola found was six or seven different and incompatible word processing programs, and a lack of sufficient desktop publish­ ing facilities, which led to problems in efficiency.

“People were not working up to their potential,” he stated. “For example, it would take four or five weeks to get a poster made exter­ nally, when it should be able to be done in house. Meanwhile, our vol­ unteers could be doing an infinite number of other things.”

According to Harding, many projects would benefit from the new system, such as the Ghetto Safety Campaign, the Students’ Rights Map of Campus, and the SSMU Journal, which is currently printed out of the Tribune office.

Long term investment

When asked about the size of the expenditure in light of recent budget cuts, Harding and Remai described the purchase as a long term investment, both financially and technically.

“It is better to buy a packagedeal and avoid expenditures in later years. To prolong the process and buy things piece by piece would cost a lot more,” said Remai. “ SSMU is usually not known for its foresightedness,” Harding said. “We asked ourselves ‘what will people be using in five or ten years?’ Will we be able to deal when everything is CD-ROM?” Harding also spoke of prob­ lems of compatability.

“If I wanted to update a clubs list, there are people who wouldn’t know unless I gave them a hard copy. That doesn’t work in an office of sixteen people,” she said.

“Maybe it wasn’t fundamental­ ly necessary for this year, and maybe it was. Drawing the line between luxury and necessity is very hard to do,” concluded Stodola.

After the Macintoshes are installed, the five old IBMs will gq'’ Continued on Page 5

Rhodes honours bestowed upon two McGill students B y T odd K ramers

the will o f C ecil Rhodes, a British-born South African whose belief in Anglo-Saxon supremacy inspired his involvement in the British im perial expansion in Africa. An appreciation of the award’ s importance to past and

Two McGill students will be attending Oxford University in England on Rhodes scholarships next fall.

Political Science student and SSM U VP University Affairs Lisa Grushcow and Shariq Lodhi, a U3 Chemistry student, were successful applicants in the Quebec and A tlantic regions, respectively.

“When I hung up after being notified, I was laugh­ ing uncontrollably,” Lodhi recalled. “It was too much to believe.”

Grushcow is equally overwhelmed by the oppor­ tunity to continue her stud­ ies at one o f the world’ s oldest and most prestigious universities.

“I didn’t expect it in my wildest dream s,” she said.

N inety-five Rhodes Scholars were selected this The latest recipients year from com petitions across the British Commonwealth present winners does not prevent and the United States. Winners Grushcow from pointing out her receive $24,000 per year, tenable differences with its namesake.

“It’ s not an untainted lega­ for up to three years.

Grushcow will apply to cy,” she said. “Rhodes did things Balliol College at Oxford to study I don’t agree with.”

Rhodes definitely had a spe­ Judaism and Christianity in the Greco-Roman world. Lodhi plans cific type of individual in mind to enter a joint program in poli­ for the award. In his w ill, he tics, philosophy and economics at praised those who are not “merely bookworms” but demonstrate, in University College.

The Rhodes Sch olarsh ips were established in 1903 through C o n tin u e d o n P a g e 4 I I

January 10th, 1996

N eW S

Page 3

SSMU proposes $500,000 life insurance plan for general manager of an internal person with lots of intellectual capital.”

Because o f the nature of the The SSM U Financial Planning Committee of Council is SSMU, a new group of students recommending that a $500,000 take over the executive positions “key person” insurance policy be each year with little overlap of approved to cover SSMU General personnel. Thus, the GM facili­ tates the continuity of financial Manager Guy Brisebois.

If approved this week by management and personal experi­ council, the SSMU would pay a ence. The Financial PCOC con­ premium of $2,850 per year for tends that the loss o f the GM the insurance package. In the would result not only in the loss event of the untimely death of the of revenue, but would also mean GM, the SSM U would receive the severing of personal relation­ $500,000 to compensate for the ships with customers and credi­ tors. Furthemore, it loss of revenue and would be difficult to other unquantifiable “No one else has find a replacement resources generated with the skills, per­ the global view of by the GM. sonal expertise and Although life the S S M U ’s busi­ experience needed insurance o f this kind is not uncom­ ness operatio ns.” for the job.

Jonathan Chommon in the case of ski, chair o f the large corporations, it is somewhat unique for a non­ Financial PCOC, argued that the profit organization like the SSMU must protect itself against Stu den ts’ Society. SSM U VP the loss of a GM. “The Students’ Society is a Finance Kelly Remai explained that the GM is critical to the run­ business like any other corpora­ tion with assets they protect. Guy ning of the society. “ Basically the concept came B risebo is is an asset and the up because the most important knowledge he brings day to day person in the Students’ Society is and in the long term affect the the general m anager. He is financial position of the SSMU,” responsible for the day to day said Chomski. “Right now, due to management as well as all con­ our lean and efficient organiza­ tractual obligations, staff, and tional structure, there is no one dealing with the university,” said else who could step in to take over Remai. “The key person insurance his position. No one else has the is a way to insure against the loss global view of the SSM U’ s busi­ B y Sara Jean G reen

ness operations,” he said.

A ccording to Rem ai, the SSMU suffered a loss of $300,000 when the previous general manag­ er was fired four years ago.

Apparently, it took over a year to replace the GM and also cost the SSM U thousands of dollars in consulting fees.

sive research for the SSM U to find the best policy.

“Since Guy is 56 years old, he’ll probably be working for the next 10 to 12 years. This [policy] is full fledged life insurance for any cause of death,” he said. “It covers him as long as he does ser­ vice to SSMU and the owner of

Guy Brisebois: the image of health Should the proposal pass in council, the SSM U would pur­ chase the key person insurance plan from Gerling Global. Alec Bukhman, president o f the Bukhman Insurance Agency stat­ ed that his organization did exten­

the policy is the SSM U,” stated Bukhman.

Although the important con­ tributions of Brisebois are widely recognised, some members of the executive question whether or not such a policy is needed. SSMU

VP University A ffairs L isa Grushcow questioned the proposal of the Financial PCOC. “ Key person insurance is intended for large corporations of which we are not. Three-thousand dollars a year is a significant amount of money in a student context,” said Grushcow. “Guy is irreplaceable — it would take a lot of work to find some­ one else to do the job, but I think the issues that would be raised wouldn’ t be cured by half a mil­ lion dollars.”

Jennifer Hard­ ing, SSMU VP inter­ nal affairs is disap­ pointed that the pro­ posal was not thor­ oughly discussed in the executive corn­ s' mittee before being JS handed over to the Financial PCOC. g “The issue is not whether or not Guy is worthy [of being insured as a key per­ son], There are a lot of other issues and to not even talk about it in the body Guy sits on is short sighted,” Harding said. “Without a general manager, we’ d be less informed but I don’ t think that means we’ d lose half a million dollars.”

McGill professors concerned about below average salaries B y Noah G itterman

According to the M cGill A ssociation of University Teachers’ newsletter of October 1995, comparatively low salaries and increasing workloads has led to a severe decline in staff morale at McGill.

David Crawford, VP internal of MAUT and author of the newsletter article, explained that MAUT has recently received numerous phone calls and letters from teachers expressing their dis­ content with McGill’s plan to bring its spending under control.

Departmental budget cuts have been as high as twenty per cent and subsequently have resulted in increased workloads for fewer staff members.

Jean-Pierre Duquette, chair­ man of the department of French language and literature, summed up the general mood of McGill’s acad­ emic staff.

“People are not very optimistic at this point,” he said.

Although there are many diffi­ culties facing academic staff as McGill moves into the future, low salaries clearly appear to be one of the biggest concerns.

“Our salaries have fallen well below the norm for salaries in Canada and Quebec,” Crawford stated.

According to statistics printed in the newsletter, McGill ranked seventh out of nine Quebec univer­ sities in terms of average salary in 1993-94. Among the top ten

research universities in Canada, McGill teachers received the low­ est average salary during that same year.

Although statistics are not yet available for the last academic year, Crawford stated that McGill’s position has not changed significantly. He further pointed out the important need for change in McGill’s salary policy as there is no reason that the average salaries for teachers at McGill should be below the averages for other uni­ versities.

“Due to McGill’s exceptional­ ly high level of funded research and our large percentage of gradu­ ate students, the McGill average salaries should be above rather than consistently below the Quebec average,” Crawford stated in the newsletter.

Along with a detrimental effect on morale, Malcolm Baines, an associate professor in the department of microbiology and a former president of MAUT, points

out that low salaries make it harder to attract and retain top professors.

This will eventually affect the qual­ ity of teaching and research at the university.

“You can’t run a quality show by offering substandard salaries,” he stated. “You eventually pay a penalty.”

Other McGill employees have also recognized that M cG ill’ s salaries are unreasonably low.

Subsequently, plans to include pro­ visions for increased compensation for teachers in the 1996-97 budget are undergoing discussion.

Principal Bernard Shapiro feels that McGill should make an attempt to raise its salaries so that it ranks in the middle of the average salaries for Canada’ s top ten uni­ versities.

“We are planning to make at least a start on closing that gap,” Shapiro said.

Furthermore, Shapiro has indi­ cated that he is committed to deal­ ing with concerns about low

SUPERMARCHE

NASCIMENT0 et BRITO E v e r y th in g fro m g r o c e r ie s to w in e 10 % ■ P

salaries as soon as possible.

“I myself would assign quite a considerable priority to this issue,” he said.

Whether any provisions will come by May 31, 1996, when the final budget is submitted, remains

to be seen. Crawford pointed out that last year similar promises were made, and were not kept in the end.

However, he remains optimistic.

“At least it’s better to be in the preliminary budget, than not to be in it,” Crawford said.

mam performed on Jhe premises, Quick including Urgent S Great V.I.P.Service at Privés All Major Disposable J u s t jt a ’iô i m v t r o m

D I S C O U N T with student I D

• Minimum order $10.00 • . Not applicable on beer, wine or in-store specials •

6 7 Prince Arthur E.

8 4 5 -5 7 5 1

*

1115, rue Sherbrooke ouest T é l .: | 5 1 4 | 8 4 4 - 8 7 7 7

4 0 8 1 , St-Denis Tél.: |514] 2 8 6 - 4 2 0 0

!

Page 4

N ew s

January 10th, 1996

Arts students respond to proposed changes to McGill A U S fo ru m h eld to d isc u ss tuition hikes, a d m issio n requ irem en ts a n d fu n d in g alte rn ativ e s B y C onnie K im

The conclusions and propos­ als of the student forum held by the Arts Undergraduates Society on November 29, have emerged in a document entitled “Envisioning the Future.”

The document, comprised of the opinions of over 200 students, has been set forth as the AUS response to Principal Bernard Shapiro’ s proposal “Towards a New McGill” .

In the principal’s concluding rem arks o f his document he stresses that “ [the report] is pre­ sented only to provide a basis for a broad discussion that must take place within the university com­ munity, governm ent and, of course, with other key stake hold­ ers in our McGill environment.”

It was upon this emphasis that AUS held its forum.

The forum brought forth a large and diverse group from within the arts faculty. Students were given questionnaires to fill out, as well as the opportunity to

speak out at the forum on any they were kept out of the loop,” concerns they had. The notable he stated. absence of Principal Shapiro at “Envisioning the Future” is the discussion however appeared subsequently a summary of the to be an obstacle, as students arts students’ proposals and inter­ demanded explanations for a vari­ ests in the reshaping of McGill for ety of administrative decisions. the future. Latour explained that A US President the question­ Rich Latour stat­ naire was a very “As fa r as I can tell the ed that students successful had many con­ ideas w e put forw ard method of col­ cerns about h ave been received lecting student Shapiro’s propos­ opinions. well by [S hapiro’s] al. “ The most “Most of the office.” valuable ideas verbal comments came out of the [at the forum] questionnaires,” were panicked,” he stated. “When he stated. “There were a lot of [students] heard things like tuition general themes and we tried to was going up, they would ask have everyone’ s opinions in the ‘how am I going to afford that?” ’ document.”

Latour also stated that students “ Envisioning the Future” were concerned about the pace at deals with the fundamental con­ which these changes could be cerns of tuition, student involve­ implemented. ment, the strengths of arts, and John Provart, AUS VP external ties. AUS recognises the Academic pointed out that the inevitable increase in tuition; forum also gave students the however, it also emphasises the opportunity to be involved in importance of a gradual imple­ administrative decision making. mentation process. With a rise in “ [Before], students felt that tuition, a rise in financial aid as

Rhodes scholars...

Continued from Page 2

addition to academic excellence, a fondness for the outdoors and an interest in one’ s peers and one’ s community.

Grushcow’ s involvement in student a ffairs at M cG ill is indicative of her eligibility for the scholarship. “ [The selection committees] are looking for people with more than one side,” she said. “I care deeply about the communities I’ m living in — as a woman, a Jew, an activist and a student. I imag­ ine that I was able to convey that.”

L od h i’ s extra-curricular

1

7

5

activities include volunteer work at several Montreal area hospitals as well as participation on McGill’ s rowing and cross-coun­ try skiing teams. Debating and playing the cello are also areas of interest for Lodhi. Currently, he is also involved with the Atlantis Project, an initiative to introduce Oxford-style teaching methods to McGill.

US President B ill Clinton and former Ontario Premier Bob Rae are notable past recipients of the award.

Grushcow and Lodhi are the 104th and 105th McGill students to win Rhodes scholarships.

W e know you w an t tow rite for

1821 {ffl 1996

new s. D o n ’t be shy — contact S a ra and Tyla in S h atn er B 01-A . O r

M c G ill

call 3 9 8 -6 7 8 9 .

M ONTRÉAL

grea <SS>| scores... g«tahigh<arscor*

KAPI.AN

third language requirement upon final graduation.

One recommendation su g­ gests that creating stronger links with the francophone and ethnic communities of Montreal might lead to new sources of funding.

In the document, AUS mem­ bers also emphasised that they strongly support increased intra­ university ties. “ [AUS hopes to] enter into an agreement with other Montreal universities to share a library and computing resources, where stu­ dents from host universities are given priority to these resources,” explains the proposal.

Mentor and co-op programs which would put students in direct touch with the professional world are also emphasised.

Currently, AUS is waiting to hear what will be included in the final report to be compiled by the MacDonald Task Force later this year.

Latour stated that to date, the document appears to have trig­ gered a positive response.

McGill 175... » Continued from Page 1

Shatner building.

C e le b ratin g M c G ill's fo u n d in g A one day symposium enti­ tled “ The University in the Twenty-First Century” will be held in March to recognise the signing of the Royal Charter by King George IV which signaled the founding of McGill on March 31, 1821.

The sym posium ’ s morning session will feature members of the university community who will give an internal view of upcoming changes. Government and business will have a role in addressing the university’ s future during the afternoon session. The event coin­ cides with discussion about Principal Bernard Shapiro’s docu­ ment “Towards a New McGill,” which questions McGill’s funda­ mental purpose and direction.

Sevag Yeghoyan, former SSMU president and student rep­ resentative to the Board of Governors stated there is not a for­ mal connection between the sym­ posium and the university’s dis­ cussions of future changes.

“It’s a chance to reflect on the past and look to maintain the same quality [of education] in the future.

Certainly the symposium will help pave the way for the future,” said Yeghoyan. “ [It will be] a great morale boost for the university given some of the uncertainties about the future,” he stated.

M o re events p la n n e d

Call: 287-1896

well as in other university services such as libraries and student ser­ vices receiving greater university funding is deemed imperative.

Increasing student involve­ ment in the reshaping of McGill is only possible through improve­ ment of communications between administration and the student body. A Financial O versight Com m ittee, with equal student/administration representa­ tion and student administration consultation processes based on existing student representation structures are just a few of the key methods AUS supports in increas­ ing student involvement.

Other proposals gaining sup­ port for the strengthening of the arts faculty at McGill include the implementation of a higher admis­ sion standard, rather than raising tuition, in order to decrease under­ graduate enrolment and ensuring the active involvement of teaching staff in undergraduate education.

Moreover, there was discussion concerning improvement of the McLennan/Redpath libraries, and the implementation of a second or

Throughout the year, McGill faculty members will have the

opportunity to speak at other provincial universities. This will be facilitated through a lecture series initiated through the princi­ pal’s office which will also allow faculty members from other uni­

events meant to highlight McGill’s place within the Montreal commu­ nity. “ [It will] create public aware­ ness of M cG ill’ s long-standing contribution to the community,”

A wacko winter wonderland: ice hockey in togas versities to address McGill stu­ dents.

“It is a good opportunity to hear lecturers from other schools who are leaders in their fields — something [students] might not otherwise be able to do,” stated Gallop.

The Garden Party in June, and the Open House in September, are

Gallop said.

Currently, committee mem­ bers want to encourage people to bring their skates to the Winter Carnival and have fun for the day.

“Most people spend three or four years at this university, and there’ s seldom a big event like this,” Yeghoyan concluded.

N ew s

January 10th, 1996

Page 5

$17,000 spent...

I I C o n tin u e d fro m P a g e 2

M c G ill’s M cG ib b o n sc a n d a l s p r e a d s : 3 m ore fir in g s d u rin g C h ristm a s Three employees working for McGill’s facilities management were dismissed a few days before Christmas. Allegedly, John Rennie, Omar Salas and Carmen Spataro were involved in the disappearance of over $900,000 from the university over the last few years. Their supervisor, Blake McGibbon, was the first to be fired last fall for his involvement in the scandal.

The university’ s administration has remained silent during an internal investigation. But in a pri­ vate memo, McGill Principal Bernard Shapiro

R y erson p r o fe sso r rein stated a fte r su sp e n sio n f o r p ro stitu tion A professor of journalism at Ryerson Polytechnic University was suspended on November 26 after revealing his activity in prostitution as a means to sup­ plement his income. Part-time lecturer Gerald Hannon was placed under disciplinary investigation by the school, but in late December, Hannon was allowed to return as a teacher at Ryerson. Despite Hannon’s rein­ statement, his contract may not be renewed when it expires in May. The suspension followed the publication of an article in th^Toronto Sun in which Hannon revealed his prostitution. Hannon’s involvement with such activities has been well known at the school since he was hired four years ago. Hannon has written a num­

O n tario u n iv ersities f a c e b u d g et slim m in g Early last month, Ontario Finance Minister Ernie Eves announced a cut of $400 million to post-sec­ ondary education for 1996 in Ontario.

Queen’s University will have to cut $19.2 mil­ lion from their operating budget and Carleton will eliminate $13 million in grants, according to univer­ sity newspapers.

To offset the lost funding, universities are required to raise tuition by at least 10 per cent but not by more than 20 per cent. Beyond raising tuition, uni­ versities are expected to reduce expenditures to con­ form to the new budget limitations.

revealed that the audit “is now winding down.”

An inside source said that greivances are expect­ ed to be filed in the near future, as the men were released without notice. Filing grievances will avoid lawsuits and possible police involvement in the issue, thus keeping publicity to a minimum, the source con­ tinued.

Also expected to be released from the facilities department is VP Physical Resources Sam Kingdon.

Sources stressed that Kingdon has had absolutely no connection with the McGibbon scandal except that it occurred under his jurisdiction. Kingdon, having fielded most of the criticism in the incriminations, is expected to receive early retirement from the univer­ sity.

With files from The Gazette

ber of articles advocating pederasty in Toronto publi­ cations that have raised some controversy during his tenure at Ryerson, but no complaints have been lodged against him.

The suspension and the subsequent reinstatement has raised questions concerning university procedure in such a situation. The Ryerson Teachers’ Union claims the suspension is illegitimate as it came before any inquiries and without any evidence of workplace misconduct. Other teachers feel that Hannon’s views are inappropriate for the academic environment and that his activities in prostitution indicate a passage between acceptable discourse and improper behaviour.

Hannon, who told reporters he will continue to pursue his “enjoyable” work as a prostitute, will begin lecturing again Jan. 8.

With files from The Brock Press and The Charlatan According to Ehab Shanti, president of the Carleton University Students’ Association, the gov­ ernment’s plan is “appalling”.

“Every time tuition goes up it makes a university education less of a right and more of a privilege for those who have money,” said Shanti.

Queen’s University administrators and students are worried about covering the $19.2 million cut to their budget. According to Graduate Student Society VP External Ben Whiting, raising tuition will only gather $8 million extra for the university, not enough to cover the $19.2 million in cuts.

“My question is: where do the other $10 million come from?” Whiting said.

With files from The Charlatan and The Queen’s Journal

to a new computer lab in the base­ ment of Shatner.

“All this equipment, which is pretty good stuff, goes downstairs,” said Remai.

The old PC 386s will be hooked up to the SSMU server and equipped with Windowstm, WordPerfect1111, and Wordtm. Club members will then be able to sign out a key to access them. “ There are very, very few clubs with computers,” explained Harding. “ It’ s frustrating to see clubs and services not able to use computers.”

However, Clubs Rep Chris Carter voiced a much-asked ques­ tion about the transfer. “ If these computers are not working for the executive, then what makes them think that they will work well for clubs?” he asked.

Tactics questioned Outside of the executive, there was some concern and confusion.

Some councillors and club leaders have doubts about the purchase, though they declined comment, stating that they were not well enough informed about it.

“I can’t say that we were not informed that money was being spent, but none of the counsellors really know what is going on,” stat­

ed Arts Rep Amin Kassam. “Right now, all I can say is that I can wait and see what they’re going to be doing with these computers that are so sophisticated,” continued Kassam.

There were also questions regarding the allocation of funds.

According to Carter, the purchase was made possible by a $10,000 Club Computer Lab Fund which he created in early summer. Although a lab will be set up with the old computers, Carter questioned the indirect use of the money.

“Their purchase is okay by me if they really need this for their office, but it should have gone through the correct channels,” he said.

“Last year, the Sexual Assault Center applied for a computer, so I pushed the [Planning Committee of Council] for the sum of $10,000 for this fund,” stated Carter. “I began to do research, and talked to several corporations, and even looked for donations. Suddenly, I come back, and the executive has decided that the $10,000 would be used on other computers.”

“It’s not anyone’s fault, but it is a problem of communication.

What’ s the point of having a Financial PCOC when we’re basi­ cally working in an exclusive exec­ utively-led environment?” conclud­ ed Carter.

Need to pay off those holiday bills?

m on-campus work available in

h a s e x c e lle n t v e r b a l sk ills in E n g lis h a n d w o r k in g F r e n c h ?

• e n jo y s w o r k in g w ith th e p u b lic ?

• w a n t s to d o s o m e th in g g r e a t fo r y o u r u n iv e rs ity ? !

• is lo o k in g fo r p a r t-tim e , o n - c a m p u s w o r k ?

Come out in droves for Activities Night, Ja n 17 , and get involved with the T r ib u n e .

Monday Pasta &Salad $ 4 .2 5

Tuesday ChineseChickenW ings $4.75

W ednesday Falafel Plate $ 4 .7 5

Thursday Couscous $4.75

We are hiring NOW and training starts soon!

’S 845-9171 in-

Y O S S IS D I / L Y G O I I C A F E

Open

Please call 398-7699 a.s.a.p..

The McGill Annual Fund Student Phonathon

Hillel Jewish Student Centre Monday to Thursday 11:30-8:00|>m Friday 11:30-1:30pm

• is a fu ll-tim e M c G ill s tu d e n t ( 2 4 c re d its / y e a r m in .) ?

SKI SfJABBATON

Combinea moving Shabbat inthe Laurentians witha fun filleddayof skiing on awesome M ont Blanc!! $100

Includes room, meals, transportation and lift tickets!

Visit our web site htt|>://www.vir.com/Shalom/zionet.html

or

Trip to Washington D .C . to visit the Holocaust Memorial Museum

Sat., Jan. 2 7 to Tues., Jan. 30 $ f ® **

Hillel House @ 3460 Stanley St.

Includes bus, accommodation, Sunday dinner, & museum visit

iiifPIPIViVi^ 9 P^IPnVVIIMMPPi^r^ Page, 6

n i» » * m n m * * £ fS W ts iip fS ifS ip tffl IBWCyiJWBT* T* illlO H l - l f f W f i i ir

January 10th, 1996

Letters Labour union rights

Cutting culture B y Sylvie Babarik

A new ideology has arisen in Canada during the last decade.

‘Cuttism’ has pushed aside the we-want-a-better-world ‘isms’ such as feminism, socialism, and environmentalism. Why? Because budget-cut­ ting is the only thing that will save this country from certain financial ruin...or so say the ‘over-taxed’ cuttists.

This new ideology may have been planted by the Thatcher/Mulroney love of privatisation, but it is the new wave of Kleins, Harrises and Mannings that have done the most to fertilise this new approach to budget cutting. Not only are their axes bigger and sharper than any seen in recent history, but they also seem to be free from the burden of critical or progressive thinking.

Still, their cutting words are not nearly as hurtful as the response of the younger generation. There is no question that deficits must be reduced. However, many within our age group are so adamant about cutting budgets that one is left wondering if they approve of keeping any semblance of a social security net.

Apparently, daycare is not a worthy expense. During the SSMU elections last year, one candidate actually disagreed with the need to expand daycare services at McGill, saying that if women choose to have children, they should be prepared to assume the costs.

If this idea is transported into a broader context, the implications become even more absurd. Take Premier Harris’ subsidy cut to 2,800 daycare spaces. If you cut affordable daycare, you are basically saying that only the rich should have children. Aside from the obvious impedi­ ment this poses for unmarried, working mothers, inflation has led to a situation where many couples now need a second income simply to remain above the poverty line and this too requires cheap daycare.

‘This has nothing to do with feminism, it is an economic reality,” said journalist Barbara Ehreneich, as quoted in Eve McBride’s Gazette column of January 4.

Education is another interesting example of our compliance with cuttism. Though most of us can agree that some reorganisation and ‘downsizing* is necessary to keep the educational system afloat, many still believe in the need to resist cuts to funding and tuition hikes — even if it means participating in demonstrations. Amazingly, there are others who support cuttism to the extent that they would give the gov­ ernment a completely free-hand in reorganising education. (Not that spending on education helps to develop the work force, human resources and entrepreneurial possibilities...).

And then there is healthcare. In Quebec, the government decided to cut spending in this field by closing hospitals. At the same time, they promised to find jobs for all the displaced permanent workers. I guess they just want to save on the cost of sweeping the floors. And what did the youth have to say about this breach of logic? Nothing!

In the west, politicians who want to begin a privatisation process of the healthcare system are actually the most popular. Do we all have to be hospitaised before we take the value of our healthcare system seri­ ously?

We, the youth, used to be both critical and hopeful about the future.

Now, not only are we the first to follow the Pied-piping of across-theboard budget cuts, but a recent sociological study has revealed that we are also the first generation in Canadian history to expect poorer stan­ dards of living than our parents — hardly news to those of us with a pulse.

Still, when all is said and done, I expect if anyone responds to these ramblings, it will be in defence of cuttism.

T yla B erchtold, Sara Jean G reen L iz La u .............., ............ , .....................

K urt Newman, R achel Sto ko e .....

D ana T oerinc , Kashif Z ahoor ....

T anim A hmed, S hannon Ross .......

Stephan Patten .............. ....... .

Jon O 'B rien ...........................................

R euben L evy, C hristiane W est.......

Paul S lachta .......................................

A nne-Marie Racine.............................

D on Mc G owan , V ivian D oan ....

A ndrew C o rm ack ..............................

..................News Editors ..............Features Editor . .Entertainment Editors ................. Sports Editors ................. Photo Editors ............... Science Editor ..............Network Editor ...Production Managers ..... Marketing Manager ..........................Ad sales ..................... Typesetters What’s On Coordinator

As a regular Tribune reader, I found Kurt Newman’ s editorial “Ghetto Safety Proposal” (Nov. 27) to be a clever and poignant satire; however, there were certain aspects which were, perhaps unintentional­ ly, offensive.

Mr. Newman places references of unionised workers in a context of outrageous production costs and inefficient work tactics by depicting them as overpaid products of a ludi­ crous labour bureaucracy. Most reprehensible is his name calling — “piano playing clowns”, I believe.

(For his information, the standard rate for unionised freelance classi­ cal musicians hovers around $60/ hour.)

When I graduate, I would be proud to be a member of a body of skilled workers who believe in col­ lective employee rights.

I hope that editors in the future

Editorial L ast week, Quebec police chief Normand Bergeron official­ ly banned police officers from eat­ ing donuts and cruellers on the job, arguing that the “donut eat­ ing” stereotype was hurting the force.

The “directive” was widely pu blicised in the papers ( The Gazette, The Globe and Mail, La Presse, Hour etc.). So, not only did Bergeron draw giggles from the local press, but he also drew the wrath of fast food chain Dunkin’ Donuts, as well as a sm all cry of rebellion from M UC’ s historically image-con­ scious force.

This week, Bergeron has dutifully added to his paperwork by writing an official apology to the head of the Dunkin’ Donuts corporation, and by partially lift­ ing his ban to accom m odate “ moderate consum ption” of sweetened deep-fried dough prod­ ucts.

The thought of officers sneaking donuts like high school kids sneaking smokes in the bath­ room is silly enough. That this effort “to make a more respectable force” was so highly publicised is sim ply ludicrous — and only makes the police staff seem that much more laughable. (“Not only are they gluttonous, but they’re

.to the Editor

will be more careful in pulling the innocent and irrelevant into their more sardonic pieces.

-Dean Castronovo U2 Engineering

Feed me!

When I heard that Marriott was leaving McGill, I was over­ joyed because I hated their ‘food.’

Now that Miraval is firmly in place, I am convinced that I will either die of starvation or of food poisoning.

Why can’t this university find a proper food company?

I had a chicken burger the other day (because they ran out of tofu burgers three weeks ago).

However, this poultry nightmare would be better described as fatty protein mush covered in deep-fried corn flakes. The french fries are okay, as long as you don’t let them cool. Should the heat escape from their yellowish walls, discard them touchy about it too”).

All joshing aside, this inci­ dent says something more signifi­ cant about the Quebec police force and its PR abilities.

According to Bergeron, his initial intent was “to avoid abuses by the minority of the city’ s 400 offi­ c ers” , and to dispel negative stereotypes people have about the police force. If this is the case, then Bergeron is truly not seeing the forest for the trees — for his trivial donut “directive” is a case of failed cosmetic surgery.

There are an infinite number of other behavioural vices on which Bergeron could place “directives” instead of wasting his time and energy on donut-related press. A good example is that of officers speeding and running red lights while flashing their lights without sounding the siren. A cou­ ple of weeks ago, such a joyride resulted in the death of a civilian when a car carrying four Montreal residents was hit by a cruiser speeding through an intersection.

Speaking of police behav­ ioural problems, what of the black taxi driver who was wrongfully attacked and accused by the police over Christmas when he came to the aid of a white woman who was being mugged by a white man? (The police had accidentally mixed the two men up). And what of the many complaints of verbal abuse? What of the Foufounes

Summer i n

at once!

Now our so-called campus pub is serving food too. Their main aim seems to be that of recreating a true bureaucracy. First you go to the food counter to find out what hor­ rors are on the menu. Then you have to go to the bar to order and pay for the grub. Finally, you can return to the food counter and col­ lect your ‘nourishment’ ... But woe the unfortunate eater who ventures to order the spaghetti.

What I want to know is how our elected representatives can stand by as their constituents are slowly poisoned. Is this kind of a culinary conspiracy to destroy the moral of students? Perhaps this is a covert undertaking to reduce the number of students who attend the school (see Shapiro’ s “Towards a New McGill” and the new AUS document.)

The bottom line is bring your own lunch and in the upcoming SSM U elections, only voté for those candidates who will enact the QPIRG plan of setting up a co-op cafeteria.

-Jean-Marc DeBoncoeur U3 Political Science scandal, where clubbers were harassed nightly and a club was closed down in part because of its “freakish image” ? (The fact that patrons had green hair and nose rings was actually used as evi­ dence in court). In order to clean up the police fo rce’ s im age, shouldn’t “directives” be placed to avoid incidents like these instead?

Perhaps the Quebec force should look to the New York police department for inspiration.

The NYPD has recently adopted “Verbal Judo” , a series of lectures created to combat excessive use of offensive language and police argot. The examples cited in The New York Times (Jan. 7, 1996) include that of not calling women “nasty names” and of using “Sir, your tail light is broken” rather than “Shut up and give me your license and registration”. Though seemingly petty and redundant, lessons in good manners are prob­ ably still better than diet tips.

Considering the harsh stereo­ types the average Montrealer has of his/her local police force, the old stereotype of the coffee drink­ ing, cruller munching officer might even be seen as familiar and comforting. Of all the negative images people have about police, “chocolate glazed donut eater” is probably the least threatening of all.

M o n t r é a l?

Staff

Mala Bhaumik, Andrew Boon, Dave Bushnell, Barry Campbell, Aaron Chase, Melissa Chui, Alyson Fournier, Kate Gibson, Noah Gitterman, Adam Glenny, Connie Kim, Todd Kramers, Rachel Ong, Tammy Schacter, Jason Sigurdson, J.S. Trscienski, Bradley Taub, Dan Wells.

Joyce Lau

The saga of M cGill’s incredibly true computer scandal UJ

Z Colum n

3 CÛ £ 1-

C5 [italics mine] L ..

J *r M M

êml

In late December, three mid­ dle-level m anagers were fired from McGill University because of the disappearance of nearly a mil­ lion dollars from the school.

Nobody’ s quite sure what hap­ pened to the funds, but detectives are investigating the possibility that the money was used to pur­ chase several thousand “naughty” CD ROMs. Whenever another scandal surfaces at McGill, it makes me a little sad because I never seem to be involved in the scandal or even get to write about it. So I took it upon myself, over the course of the last few weeks, either to cause a scandal or reveal one. My attempt to cause a scandal (using a Mallard duck, a trampoline, an ergonomic mouse, the Board of Governors, a kaleidoscope and Nick Benedict) failed miserably and I would rather not discuss it in this space. However, while doing a

ila

,

r

A u n c -T h w in

little research on the Internet I uncovered a far-reaching high-tech computer scandal that had been covered up (it’s astounding how much a journalist can learn from reading e-mail that isn’t even his).

August, 1986: The job of the complete overhaul of the computer network at McGill goes to a man named Jay Websy, based on his work in computer programming and design at the Illinois Institute of Technology. His contract with McGill includes installing a com­ plex system of fibre optic cables to transmit data throughout the uni­ versity. This would allow teachers and students to send electronicmail (e-mail) m essages to each other. Until that point, it was only possible to communicate via the telephone, which was becoming obsolete due to the fact that it had less push buttons than a computer and allowed for immediate, twoway communication. Websy pro­

posed a budget to be allocated to him: $475,000 dollars for the fibre optic cables, $50,000 for software development, and $2,000 for yogurt-covered raisins. The pro­ posal raised quite a few eyebrows with the university, as no one could discern what the fibre optic cables were for. Nonetheless, the budget was approved, although the project was not started for several months because Websy had to be hospitalised due to kidney failure resulting from over-indulging in yogurt-covered raisins.

August, 1995: The network has never worked properly, easily getting overloaded, resulting in mix-ups such as members of facul­ ty getting e-mail several days late, and many students graduating with medical degrees despite being in the Drama and Theatre program.

December, 1995: The fraud of Jay Websy is exposed when the Leacock porter inadvertently takes a bite out of one of the computer cables. The porter discovers that instead of using actual fibre™optic cables, Websy had actually used transparent Chinese rice noodles (which were much cheaper, taste better in various kinds of soups, yet prove to be

inferior at relaying data via light em ission s). Websy allegedly embezzled the money allocated for the fibre optics, using it to replace his entire compact disc collection with vinyl records because he strongly believed that the CD ’ s sound was inferior. He held this view until a friend pointed out the main reason he was receiving poor sound quality was because he had been playing the CDs upside down.

Soon after the Chinese noo­ dles were discovered it was revealed that Jay Websy had not actually graduated with a Master’s in Computer Science from the Illinois Institute of Technology, as he had claimed. In reality, he had studied English literature at the post-graduate level at M cGill, leaving in a cloud of controversy after professors repeatedly rejected his theory that Ernest Hemingway was actually only a pen name for an unknown Inuit woman.

One of his professors explained that Websy’ s theory was undermined through a careful reading of Hemingway’ s short story, “ The Snows of K ili­ m anjaro.” Given all the Inuit expressions for snow, such a

women would probably have cho­ sen another word.

Websy’ s only true computer education consisted of multiple readings of “PC’s For Dummies” , the movie Tron and Franz Kafka’s “The Trial.”

He has admitted that MUSIC (M cGill University System for Interactive Computing, which he designed) was based more on the works of Kafka than anything else.

Websy went on to design M ARS (M cG ill’ s Automated Registration System) based on his experience of waiting for a bus once for three hours, as well as James Joyce’s “Finnegan’s Wake” and selected poems o f Samuel Taylor Coleridge (he restricted him self mainly to C oleridge’ s opium-induced poems). He also designed Info-M cG ill (the University’s on-line bulletin board system), but whenever he is asked about it he changes the subject and talks about tropical fish.

His last job for M cGill University was to assemble com­ puter packages for the executive members of SSMU. M ila is a f ir m b e lie v e r in c o n ­ s p ir a c y theory.

T here are som e things you shouldn’t tell anyone Colum n

Legal Briefs D

Welcome back. That’s about as positive as I’ ll get this week, because during finals, two big court decisions took all the holi­ day cheer out of a lot of people’s lives.

The first decision , R. v.

F ogarty, will hopefully never affect any of you. It was the first crim inal conviction ever in Canada for assistin g suicide.

Previously, people were charged with murder, because they did the killing. Ms. Fogarty didn’ t do anything, but she provided the equipment (syringes and insulin).

As of December, you can’ t give someone a bottle of Tylenol if you think they’re suicidal.

The other decision , R. v.

O ’ Connor, may have a direct impact on your life, or the life of someone you know. Forget every­ thing you’ ve ever seen on TV: THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS DOCTOR-PATIENT PRIVI­ L E G E IN C A N A D A . This includes things you tell a psychol­ ogist, a psychiatrist, or a rape cri­ sis centre.

In O ’Connor, the victim of alleged child abuse had told her psychologist that she might have dreamed the whole thing. The Supreme Court has now decided

on

M

cG ow an

that such statements, made in the therapeutic context, are admissi­ ble as evidence for the accused (and against the victim). These statements are now being used in court to claim that the victim made up the whole thing.

The message is clear. Don’t say anything to your psychologist that you wouldn’t say to a judge.

The only way around this is if your psy ch ologist is also a lawyer, or your spouse. Although the dissenting ju dges (the two female judges, but with two men) wanted to extend privilege to all conversations made with an expectation that they would remain confidential, the five men who voted the other way held that only conversations with a lawyer or a spouse should be so protect­ ed.

The situation at M cGill is clear (although keep in mind that I’ m not a lawyer, and this isn’t legal advice). If you think you have been sexually assaulted, talk only to the Dean o f Students, Rosalie Jukier, because she is a lawyer. Any conversations you have with McGill’s sexual harass­ ment officials or other discipli­ nary officers are not confidential, despite any claims McGill may

make to the contrary. They and their notes can and will be used against you in proceedings against your attacker, either at McGill or in court.

Moreover, two services of which students make repeated use have a very serious problem. The McGill Legal Information Clinic and the Sexual A ssault Centre (SACO M SS) are not staffed by lawyers. This means that anything you say to them can be forced out in court. As with psychologists, so too with the Legal Clinic and SACOMSS: don’t tell them any­ thing you wouldn’t tell a judge.

The traditional reason for making conversations with your lawyer confidential has been to promote full disclosure of the facts, so your lawyer can best help you. But how much more so for psychologists and crisis lines?

However, and not coincidentally, courts are made up of lawyers and not of psychologists and crisis volunteers...

The answer to this is not to have non-lawyers act as judges (despite what some surely wellminded people would believe), because this would lead to “the victim ’ s ju d g e ” or “ the black judge” or “the female judge” . The answer is to go around the judges, and enact a law. Hackneyed as it may sound, we should all be writ­ ing our MPs and telling them to extend privilege to more than just lawyers and married people.

Take it outside the context of sexual assault, and the error of this decision becomes even more

clear. If I steal your wallet, and you tell someone that you might just have lost it, then can I invoke your statement in my defence?

Not if I’ve got the wallet. But Mr. O’Connor allegedly assaulted his victim many years ago, so there’s no more “wallet” left to find. It’s her word against his. And now he’ s allowed to use those words, said in an attempt to discover the truth, as though they were the truth.

The lesson is clear. If you suffer a tragedy, make sure that you don’t tell anyone what hap­ pened. Make sure you never express doubt. If you tell some­ thing to someone, never change your story.

And if you really need coun­ selling, get a lawyer. We all know how comforting they can be.

Don McGowan d id n ’t get any Christmas presents this year.

2178 Ste-Catherine West, Montréal

Rim,24exposures,developingIncluded

Passportphotos

Above prices only at LA PHOTO SHOP or drop your film off at SADIE'S for processing NATURE CARE RECYCLING

TEACH ABROAD Interested in teaching English abroad?

3 week intensive course in afternoon or evening.

Certificate awarded Feb 13 - 29, $445 C a l l t o ll - f r e e : 1-8 0 0 -6 3 2 -2 10 5 o r f a x 4 1 6 -3 6 1 -2 4 0 3

M cGill’s fashion fascists and Library Sciences S tu d e n t Opinion

The Cyndicole B radley Taub

Those of you who still have brain cells remaining from last December will no doubt remem­ ber, as I do, having a shitload of work to complete within a short period of time. My particular situ­ ation offered me the prospect of spending vast amounts of time in the library — so much time, in fact, that I felt I should make some effort to make my library experi­ ence a more comfortable one. That is why I packed my favourite san­ dals along with my books and

binders.

Once in the library I immedi­ ately shed my cumbersome boots and slipped on the aforementioned footw ear. I sat m yself in my favourite carrel (we all have one) and proceeded to study. Time passed and the need to procrasti­ nate arose. As I walked around the building it became apparent to me that people were looking at my feet. It was as if they had coordi­ nated it before I came along.

Some even had the temerity to

take a second glance. Others smirked. I guess I made allowances for the fact that it was exam time and people were stressed and needed something to laugh at. I was just glad I could be there to help.

It was strange, though.

As soon as I was out of sight, I stopped and looked at my feet.

Nothing. No gaping wounds, no sticky articles into which I might have accidentally stepped. Just a normal pair of feet in white socks and sandals.

Oh. I wondered about it for a sec­ ond, then thought, “Nah, McGill students aren’t that superficial.” I then came across a friend of mine who could be classified as among the fashionable, and broached the subject with her. She informed me

that it was a major fashion faux pas to wear white socks. What’ s more, I discovered that I may have given the impression that I wore my skimpy footware outside of my house during a snowstorm. (It never would have occurred to peo­ ple that I wore them only indoors.)

Although it was on my mind, I did not ask her why white socks were even manufactured in the first place, if wearing them was such a cardinal sin. I just walked away slightly dazed and confused.

When I thought about it, there was hardly a single student in the whole library who was not clothes-conscious. With their clothing, some students were try­ ing to make a statement, and oth­ ers were trying not to make a statement, but very few had my audacity not to try anything at all.

It seems as though there is an unwritten code among McGill stu­ dents to make an undefined mod­ icum of effort in their dress.

I was not informed of this.

Only now in my third year have I come to this realisation and, quite frankly, it upsets me. I think it should have been spelled up front.

Perhaps along with the entrance application, each should issue questionnaires. Questions such as “Would you mix a tweed jacket with a chenille sweater?” and “If a tree falls in the forest and there is no one around to hear it, how do we know when it is appropriate to wear white?” would help deter­ mine a candidate’s suitability for a certain field. Those who score low would be consoled and told they have a fine career ahead of them in Library Sciences.

This year, I resolve ... (circle whatever’s applicable) • not to get the worst seat on the train/metro/bus just so I could meet attractive people I want to date • to go down to Funkytown • to do my dishes whether or not they have mold on them • to get into a satisfying rela­ tionship and not get selfish and stupid and get subsequently dumped like a sack of potatoes • to always go to class, well, except if it sucks and they don’t do anything anyway • to find more of those lit courses where the final is all mutiple choice • to question the authority of those damn know-it-all squirrels • to write a gushing fan letter to David Bushnell • or just give him a present ‘cuz it was his birthday, eh?

• to judge people by the size of their bank accounts, not by the content of their hearts • to eat sen sib le m eals, unless like Simpsons is on in five minutes, in which case cereal will do just fine • to find out why “abbrevia­ tion” is such a long word • to go to Red Lobster and see if it’ s as exciting as the com­ mercials make it out to be • to stop saying, “breakfastses” • to attribute my quotes • when Jack Palance chal­ lenges me, to “believe it” • not to fall into 8 ft. holes if I can help it • to keep my damn fool mouth shut for once • to sleep, perchance to dream , and not get sued or expelled for plagiarism • to find out whether it ’ s “ess-ess-em-you” or “smoo” • to find someone attractive for some reason other than multi­ ple piercings • to be less persnicketty and more curmudgeonly • to e-mail Principal Shapiro (SHAPIRO@UMS 1.LAN.MCGI

LL.CA) and ask him for a loan, because it’ s not like the guy can’t afford it • to stop the insanity!

• to find out if Kraft Dinner is an appropriate dinner • to abandon the annoying, tasteless, joke-that-wasn’ t-funnythe-first-time-around known as “ABBA” , and give Jethro Tull a try. Come on, “Aqualung”? It’s a classic!

• to find out what exactly “muskrat love” is • to get M LNQ leader Raymond Villeneuve a gift sub­ scription to Guns and Ammo • to find more of those cours­ es where all you need is a ham­ mer and a dream • to eat only once a day and stop heating my apartment so I can afford to attend Bernard Shapiro’ s McGill of the future • to do well in school, study hard, not drink too much, blah blah blah • to get elected as a SSM U executive so I can get $10,000 and can play REM compact discs on the $4000 computer paid for with student fees that sits on my desk for no other purpose • not to conform to Dr. Pepper’s sinister plan for world domination. No, Herr Docktor, even though he is a pepper and she is a pepper, I would not like to be a pepper too.

• to date someone older who isn’t a student who has a job with a really bitchin’ salary • to elim inate the secret shame of between-meal snacking by eating ALL THE TIME • that if I have to slip on all the damn ice around here, to fall with creativity and style • to give D rakkar Noir a chance • to increase my capacity to love and be loved • to play C eline D ion ’ s records backwards and see if they really have hidden message like “ I ’ m taking over the world

despite the fact that I ’ m a Bgrade hack who has no business recording album s, much less owning a chain of 50s-wannabe diners with such classic 50s diner food like souvlaki and latkes at rip-off prices.”

• to discover the true nature of the “anti-vomiting agents” in McDonald’ s food and try to get Miravel to use them in McGill’s cafeterias • to run the best damn sweat­ shop I can!

• to learn how to eat fire • or hell, just juggle • to quit smoking, or if you don’t smoke ...

• to learn how • to give my local dep owner a hug. Maybe then he’d cheer up and treat his custom ers like human bein gs and lower his prices and move some o f that merchandise that’ s been on his shelves since the 70s • to find a really fun “ D oom sday cult” that doesn’ t meet a grisly end with full media coverage • to take the time to really enjoy pie • to just get up and DANCE! • to find 7 attractive hair­ styles for summer that work • less talk, more rock • to do what I heard this one guy did — he got one of those red laser rifle-sights without the rifle and he would sit at his apart­ ment window and point the red dot at passers-by and watch the fun when they saw the red dot on them selves and went fleein g down the street • to learn French • to get over it and drink Pepsi • to beat the com petitor’ s advertised price by 5% or dis­ count the difference • to get revenge on McCain for what he did to my fries • to give up on oral hygiene and just get stainless steel chop­ pers like Jaw s from the Jam es

Bond movies • to go to all of my exams, and m aybe even an exam for which I ’ m not registered. You know, for kicks.

• to turn the beat around, to

turn it upside down • to meet a red-haired person who doesn’t think I’m an idiot. I swear, it’ s like a conspiracy!

CRO SSW O RD

by THOMAS JOSEPH ACROSS 1 “Message received” 6 “W here’s

work

DOWN

1 River vessel —? ” (1970 2 Scent 3 Indiana movie) city 11 Wise 4 Flip saying ingredient 12 Labor 5 Land, as group a fish 13 Light blue 6 Get more flower muscular 15 Attempt 7 Low bill 16 Napkin 8 Bowling setting targets 17 Haggard novel 9 Friend of Piglet 18 Lucy's 10 Pot starter brother 20 New 1 4 ‘T h e Joy Luck Club” Orleans author cooking 18 Pigstyle roasting 23 Pan parties played 19 S, M, L them 27 Region 1 2 4 3 28 Japanese 11 plane 29 Illuminated 13 31 Pie nut 15 32 Vaults 34 Nile snake 37 Can metal 38 Winter ailment 41 Billy Crystal movie 44 Saucer 34 35 36 occupant 45 Without 41 help 44 46 Man of many 46 words 47 Debussy

Last issue’s answers 20 21 22 24

25 26 30 s

16

and XL Baseball's Ripken Actress Meyer Swift plane Chest muscle, for short Historic time Bart, to Homer Inventor’s

protection 31 Corre­ spondent 33 Tantrum 34 Distantly 35 Without help 36 Prudish one 38 Gift tag word 39 Queue 4 0 Addict 42 “Golly!”

43 Like

1995 - 1996: the year in review and the year in advance

By Joyce Lau and Jon O 'B rien

They tell us 1995 was a blast. So we went ahunting for things we never knew or just for­ got about. Here's a bunch o f quotes and trivia from 1995 and for your perusing plea­ sure, some Jojo-like predictions for an even more thrilling ‘96.

1 9 9 5 — E x citin g q u o te s fro m excitin g fo lk s

season ticket-holders.” — Larry Rickman, owner of the Calgary Stampeders.

“There is no way of reforming or modifying the system so as to prevent it from depriving people of dignity and autonomy.” — The Unabomber, in a letter addressed to The New York Times and The Washington P ost.

“I think we did the right thing — matter of fact, I know we did.” — Brenda Moran, member of the jury at the O.J. Simpson trial.

$225,000 at an auction for a permit to hunt an Albertan bighorn sheep. Meanwhile, between 1982 and 1994, approximately 90 bighorn sheep kissed the big one on car bumpers. For free.

According to The Independant (London), between January and October, there was four times as much O.J. TV coverage than Bosnia and Oklahoma coverage combined.

O.J. coverage also surpassed welfare reform coverage by 13 times.

“ Americans have managed to create a

“ There’ s nothing wrong with John, whatsoever other than he killed a num­ ber of people.” — John Christo, friend John Salvi, accused of killing two Boston abortion clinic employees.

“My father noted the tape’s existence in his report, [and] described its content as largely innocuous despite some dis­ agreeable aspects... a succession of extremely dedicated and professional sol­ diers are suffering from the hands of a press corps that is largely lacking in even the most basic knowledge of the mil­ itary.” — Mike Vernon, in defense of his father, MajorGeneral Brian Vernon, who was relieved from his post in the Canadian Airborne Regiment.

:

uiMM mm

“ Vive le C anada.” — Bill Clinton, upon visiting Canada.

According to presidential aides, Clinton was aware of the refer­ ence to Charles DeGaulle.

“I did a bad thing.” — Hugh Grant on the Tonight Show, after his “ run-in” with Divine Brown. “ D on’ t get me wrong. Canadians love Quebec, yes. But as a postcard. They say to us: ‘Be beautiful and shut up.’” — Ex-pre­ mier Jacques Parizeau objects to a comment that Quebec is a province like any other.

McGill drops to sixth place in the Maclean’s annual survey of Canadian universities.

Waterworld sequel Convection D isaster claimed “wholesome family entertainment” by Republican thought-police.

Movie bombs at theatres.

“He’s like a tall pine that bends with every wind and whistles all the tim e.” — A rkansas newspaper editor Robert Starr on Bill Clinton.

“Bob Dole, next to Bill Clinton and Newt Gingrich, looks like a grown-up.” — Political analyst William Schneider.

Princess Di joins forces with Madonna in taking out full-page advertisements in vari­ ous New York papers, searching for a man to father their children. Peter McNeilly selected as best candidate by shame­ less promoter Don King.

Republican Presidential candidates Pat Buchanan and James Forbes Jr. come to blows during the New Hampshire Primaries over free-lunch policies in the public school system . Ronald Reagan still insists that ketchup is a vegetable. US doctors confirm public suspicion that Reagan himself is a veg­ etable.

“I am Chrétien, a Christian. A Chrétien is a Chrétien.” — Prime Minister Jean Chrétien on being asked if he was a hardliner or a softliner.

“Canada has important political issues other than fish, like Quebec, and this just shifts attention. We know about this tac­ tic, General Franco used to do it all the time... inviting foreign enemies to take peo­ ple’ s minds off real problems.” — José Manuel Muniz, president of the Spanish A ssociation o f P rofessional Offshore Fishermen.

DuMaurier and Player’ s withdraw funding from Quebec cultural events, due to the ban on tobacco advertising in Canada. Montreal Mayor Pierre Bourque suggests paying for street decorations during the 1996 Jazz Festival by closing more Montreal libraries and by eliminating a recently recovered SPCA.

Catch-22: someone smart enough to be the president isn ’ t dumb enough to run for office.” — Richard H. Fawcett on Colin Powell not running for president.

“I’m an optimist by nature.” — French pres­ ident Jacques Chirac on unemployment and labour problems in France, one month before the Paris strikes.

“Lucien Bouchard is a Canadian, but he doesn’t know it. That is his problem.” — Progressive Conservative leader Jean Charest.

“We are holding a referendum, a referen­ dum to determine whether a majority of Quebeckers want to realise sovereignty. As soon as a majority of Quebeckers say they want their own country, they will have it.”

— former Quebec premier Jacques Parizeau.

S ix triv ia o f ‘9 5

“I can see very few shows today for kids that have heroes. How can you look up to Ninja Turtles or Barney? They’re not even human.” — Canadian filmmaker David Devine.

Censors in the Philippines ban The Bridges of Madison County because of three sec­ onds of a frontally nude Meryl Streep.

“I’d bungee jump naked if that pleased my

On March 11, a Colorado businessman paid

»•»

Having exhausted Jane Austen’s canon, Hollywood directors turn to Emily Dickenson for inspiration.

Maclean's voted third high­ est quality magazine by Left to right, from top: an estim ated McGill students, trailing 100,000 attended the unity rally in Montreal; Campus News and Campus Bouchard replaces Parizeau as new premier of Reel by a few percentage Quebec; Mulroney sues CBC over Airbus scan­ points. dal; R ab in ’s assassin ation leaves future o f “Towards a New McGill” peace pact in question; Hugh and Divine’s most cam paign gathers new unbecoming moment caught on Sunset momentum with conserva­ Boulevard; a rough ride fo r the UN in Bosnia; tive student politicians the Unabomber gets airtime in The New York elected to power in the Times and The Washington Post. spring. Shapiro heard laughing uncontrollably in 5th floor Dawson Office.

UN general and peacekeeping operations budget: $4.1 billion. Canadian federal McGill professors begin to voice openly operations budget: $114 billion. concerns about salary cutbacks at the uni­ Brian Mulroney gets a job at a Montreal law versity as the first steps towards a new firm. Though his salary is a measly $51,000 McGill are taken. Mirabel workers replaced a year, he receives up to $136,000 for “extra by literature profs in Shatner cafeterias. services”.

The UN celebrated its 50th birthday in Bouchard and wife mistakenly identified as October. The Globe and Mail's Paul Knox mass-murderers in Hong Kong newspaper. predicts that the end of the nation-state era will result in an elected global parliament Coincidence? and standing military which will replace the General Assembly in the next 50 years.

M a lo d o u ro u s p re d ic tio n s World wide referendum-style voting costs paid for world wide taxes. US pres becomes French railroad strikes return during late commonly referred to as Big Brother.

January. French President Chirac takes over negotiations, counting on overcoming the The Canadian Arts Coucil appeals to the strike by appealing to Gallic superiority. federal government for more funding based on the newfound practical uses for Canadian Technocrats 0: Politicians 1. sculpture. In a related move, Canadian par­ The Internet collapses in the fall of 1996, liament calls for the registration of all Innu due to meddling watchdog groups bent on statues at 24 Sussex. ensuring the “ wholesome content” of Websites. The initial paralysis leads to a Like George Bush did last year, Bob Dole gives up his National Rifle Association full collapse by the end of the year. membership. Subsequently, the NRA gath­ Continuing on their path to liberalism, the ers enough momentum to become a con­ Irish clergy allows condom sales in Dublin tending political party. drugstores for the first time. Divorce rate triples by mid-year, Irish legal societies flush with cash.

Continued on Page 11 I I

*

I ✓

«

K ill

| V* I *-* / i •-» * *

Page io F e a t u r e s

January 10 th, 1996

Advertisers take aim at post-holiday dieters B y Sylvie B abarik

Feeling guilty about the copi­ ous amounts of goodies you ate during the holidays? A number of advertising campaigns seem to be playing to such feelings.

Not wasting a moment of the new year, Kellogg’ s launched a Special K television advertising campaign which focuses on the common resolution o f losing weight. Weight Watchers too is aiming at the guilty New Year’s conscience, playing “ D ays of Auld Lang Syne” in the back­ ground of one of their recent tele­ vision ads. “ It is a practice which has existed for years,” said Suzanne Keeler, VP public and business affairs of the Canadian Advertising Foundation. “Smart advertisers will take advantage of [feelings of guilt].”

Linda Hawke, the executive director of Mediawatch, is more critical of the marketing schemes of weight loss programs.

“These ads are playing up the feeling that you should resolve to lose weight, if you haven’ t already,” said Hawke. “ They make people feel inadequate or guilty.” “ What strikes me is that the ideal they present [in diet ads] is so far from reality,” she added.

“The models in ads are usually extremely thin.”

It is apparent that weight loss campaigns target women in par­ ticular, featuring them more often then men in the ads. Camera shots of a firm female thigh or a slim waste-line is typical of many ads which encourage dieting.

Keeler sees no demonstrable problem with such techniques.

She believes that, as in the case of most consumer products, the wise advertiser will focus on the group most likely to purchase their prod­ uct. “ If research shows that women are more interested in dieting than men, then they will target them more. [Advertisers] have a right to target the most responsive group,” Keeler said.

Dr. Rejanne Gougeron of the M cG ill Nutrition and Food Science Department sees three potential problems with ads that promote weight loss.

First, she hopes that con­ sumers understand that no product will lead to a miraculous reduc­ tion in weight, as the ads them­ selves can contain ambiguous m essages. Often they do not include the fact that weight loss programs should be coupled with exercise, as mere dieting does lit­ tle to improve health.

The other problem she under­ lined is that of encouraging skin­ niness as a weight ideal. She noted that many people are born with a body type which will never allow them to become skinny.

Finally, Dr. Gougeron criti­ cised the link that is often made between weight and success, iden­ tity, and happiness. She regrets the constant association between food and weight in such ads, claiming that this link fosters neg­ ative feelings of guilt towards eat­ ing. Though she does not single out diet ads as responsible for such mind sets, she regards their Continued on Page 1 1 »

M m m ...C o m e w r ite f o r F e a t u r e s please see ad on page 11

Stalking the printed form: daily newspapers and zines go online

By Barry C ampbell

The growth in the Internet has spawned a great deal of speculation regarding the future of many facets of modern life. A vision of this can already be seen by anyone with access to a personal computer and a modem on the World Wide Web. The Web is essentially a net­ work of various individual sites which uses an easy-to-use language.

The language of the Web allows for the extensive use of sound and high quality graphics to create an appeal­ ing and easy to use interface. These qualities are drawing in a lot of businesses.

Major newspapers, such as the Globe and Mail and The New York Times, and publishing conglomer­ ates such as Time-Warner already have Web sites that mirror, to some degree, the contents of their publi­ cations. For some time now, pundits have been predicting the demise of the printed form. They foresee a new age dawning for virtual news­ papers that are never printed up, but accessed through personal comput­ ers. However, no one can quite agree as to when the printed form will cease to exist. “ It won’ t happen for quite some time,” claimed Brian Cantley, a spokesperson for the Canadian Daily Newspapers Association.

“The Internet is too primitive a form of communication right now, and certainly not the most conve­ nient way to deliver information in the manner newspapers do.”

However, Cantley is certain that the information age will hold a place for newspapers, although they will bear little resemblance to what we have today.

“We see the Globe Online as a supplement to, rather than a future replacement for, the Globe and Mail,” answered the “Webmaster” of the Globe’s Website, when asked

T a k e a new d ire c tio n in y o u r s t u d ie s !

As a member o f a professional order, the Chartered Administrator sets himself apart by adding to his name the credentials C. Adm. However, his higher skills, that he makes available to customers and employers, give him an edge in the business world.

You can take a step a h e a d right now by b eco m in g a m em ber o f l ’Ordre des administrateurs agréés du Québec, the true management

professionals.

Your future is in your hands, it’s up to you to seize the opportunities to make it successful.

ADNH ORDRE DES ADM INISTRATEURS AGRÉÉS DU QUÉBEC

1 800 465-0880

about the future of paper in the information age.

The Globe Online Website has a brief summary of the day’s major news and business stories, as taken from the pages of the paper, as well

pie who stand to lose.

“We’re very carefully monitor­ ing what’s going on,” said Gordon Hunter, communications director for the Communications, Energy, and Paperworkers Union. CEPU

The end o f newspapers as we know it. as access to the Globe Information service, a database of all the Globe and Mail issues since 1977. There are also several discussion forums for those who visit the site ranging from “After the Referendum” to comments and questions about the Web page itself.

Another older and more impressive page is that of TimeWarner, a multibillion dollar com­ munications giant based in the US. Time-Warner is the publisher of several well-known magazines such as Time. The site is extremely extensive, allowing access to daily news, written by and with com­ ments from Time correspondents.

There are also many photographs included, but the limitations of technology produce a grainy and blurry image. There is also direct access to an extensive database of stories and photographs leading back to 1990.

The World Wide Web is still in its infancy, but there is the potential to shake up the publishing industry.

As with any change, there are peo-

represents many workers, from those involved in the production of newspapers to those on the editorial staff.

“We are already seeing diffi­ culties with management trying to avoid paying reporters as per their collective agreements when they distribute stories online. Most of the members are unaware of their rights in these issues,” Hunter stated.

However, Hunter does not foresee any rapid job-losses in the production sector and believes that the printed form will be around for a long time. Instead the union hopes to represent freelance writers who may need the help of a large organi­ sation to protect their rights in the event of online distribution of their work.

The Web has allowed for the growth of some electronic papers, scholarly journals and magazines, but major printed dailies will not be abandoning the printed form soon.

It remains the cheapest and most effective mode of distributing print­ ed news to the general public.

Associate Dean of Students A committee to advise the Principal on the selection of an Associate Dean of Students at McGill University has begun its work. The position contemplated will be half-time appointment with duties commencing as soon as possible. The initial appointment will be for a period of of years to coincide with the term of office of the Present Dean of Students, and may be renewed. The Advisory Committee would be pleased to hear from individuals who are interested in this position or who wish to nominate candidates. Please direct all correspondence to Prof. R. Jukier, Dean of Students, Room 211, Powell Building. Applications and nominations will be more useful to the Advisory Committee if accompanied by a curriculum vitae and the names of three referees, and should be submitted by 31 January 1996.

F e a t u r e s page ii

January 10th, 1996

Participation: get off your ass and get in on the action [Column

Nom ad's Land Ted Frankel

New Year’s resolutions are a lot like goldfish. Our initial com­ mitment to them is usually totally sincere. Unfortunately, in the end, our good intentions often get flushed down the toilet.

Eternal optimists, like myself, insist that 1996 will be different.

Granted, my roster of resolutions isn’t overwhelming. I vow to stop watching Baywatch (at least the reruns). I promise to stop consider­ ing potato chips my primary veg­ etable supplement. I pledge to work harder to force Mike Harris back into a life of full-time golfing. But above all, I make the generic oath of narcissistic individuals every­ where: I promise to work out more.

It’s a sorry fact that most peo­

ple’s exercise agendas get discard­ ed by Super Bowl Sunday.

Choosing to ignore the Surgeon General’s advisement that remote control operation does not consti­ tute a complete cardiovascular workout, these people succumb to their modern conveniences, the tools of our bodies’ oppression. In the old days, people used to chum butter and chop logs to tone their abdominal muscles and shape their pectorals. The hulking lumberjacks of yore, however, have long since been replaced by lethargic urban professionals (luppies) who can barely lift two bags from the gro­ cery store. With manual labour as ‘out’ as powdered wigs, most of us now have to actively seek out an

exercise regiment.

Motivating ourselves to work­ out is often a problem. As Yogi Berra, the great baseball philoso­ pher, might have said, “exercise is 90 per cent perspiration, and the other half inspiration.” I have gone as far as doing school work, just to avoid going to the gym. That’ s harsh.

There are, however, motivat­ ing factors that influence most peo­ ple. With Valentine’s Day on the horizon, many of us flock to the gym with the intention of getting in shape to impress potential suitors.

Who knows, some people may even score a Valentine from some­ one other than their mom this year (not that I don’ t appreciate it, Mom). Indeed, health clubs are equipped with more than just facili­ ties for tightening and toning. They are also fully stocked with sweaty individuals of all sexes and vari­ eties.

Whether your motivation be health or hormonal, finding a place to work out can be a trying experi­

impact as encouraging this nega­ tive preoccupation. She hopes to see the development of more posi­ tive attitudes towards food.

“People should enjoy orange as an orange, rather than looking at it as a depravation. Dieting spo­ radically suggests that normal eat­ ing is fatty and unbalanced,” said Dr. Gougeron. “The focus should be on maintaining weight, rather than extremes.” “ The trend now for most health professionals is to move away from the term ‘ d iet’ as indicting restriction, and focus instead on its significance as regu­ lar habit,” she added.

Simon Young of M cG ill’ s

department of psychiatry does not ads must be chosen carefully. On regard advertising cam paigns the other hand, they are not under which focus on weight loss as any obligation to account for negative. Moreover, he does not every po ssib le outcome. For feel that stricter restrictions example, a product which claims to help people lose pounds does should be imposed on advertising.

Currently the only guidelines not have to describe all the vari­ ables under con strain in g which the advertisers are W eight loss cam paigns weight loss g o v e rn m e n t target w om en in particular, will occur. r e g u la tio n s They do not enforced by featuring them m ore often have to men­ the Canadian then m en in the ads. tion that the A d v e r tisin g pounds may be Foundation. In the case of publicity promoting regained as soon as the diet ends. “ Ads for diet soft drinks weight loss products, advertisers are not allow ed to make any never claim to help you lose claims that cannot be substantiat­ weight,” noted Young. “Because ed. Therefore, the wording of such they don’t.”

F e a t u r e s is a l l McGill organisations Canadian unity interest-group issues international politics health the Montreal community the environment the economy I f you would like to write about these issues, or are teeming with other ideas, come talk to Liz Lau in B01-A (basement of Shatner).

Or call398-DOOM.

stretch for hours around the perimeter of the area. Then there’s the StairMaster girls, who look like they’ re having too much fun to actually achieve something from the workout.

At the gym, I ’ m in eternal limbo. In the weight room, I’ m excluded by the chest and bi boys, who can clearly see I am no candi­ date for their clique. At the track upstairs, the fitness freaks pace themselves by making sure to over­ take me at least three times while I complete a single lap. I usually just hang with the former CFL athletes, guys who can empathise with my feeling of being totally incompe­ tent.

If you have yet to find your workout niche, fear not. With an army of bloated bodies, we can easily topple the regime of bal­ looned exercise egos. Make your workout resolution a pro-active social mission. And you can count on me to lead the charge — if I can only pull m yself away from Baywatch...

Tribune predictions...

Weight loss advertisements...

Continued from Page 10

ence. Some people opt for the luxu­ ry operations, where they provide you with unlimited towels and as much hair gel as you want (an important consideration for male Management students). For the less advantaged, the Currie gym has adequate facilities, so long as you don’t mind exercising in a building kept at roughly the temperature of the planet Mercury. You can even stay at home and retreat to a place like your basement. This way, only your immediate relatives will see how you look kind of like Urkel when you wear shorts.

Getting to the workout locale is half the battle. Once you get there, it’s easy to become absorbed into the workout scene. Indeed, the saloons of sweat we frequent have their own distinct culture. At most health"clubs, there’ s a class divi­ sion between exercise consuming groups, namely the ‘ chest and bicep boys’ and the ‘fitness freaks’ .

While the ‘chest and bi boys’ strut around the room to mark their terri­ tory, the ‘fitness freaks’ passively

...

Continued from P age 9

Alabama chain gangs become the new rage in Alberta, under the direction of Premier Ralph Klein.

Questionable sightings of Bouchard and wife as chain-gang members reported in Hong Kong newspaper.

Salman Rushdie remains in hiding.

Loses a few more literary prizes to unknown new authors.

World peace takes a significant step forward with Louis Farrakhan entering the presidential race in the US. Banff tourists take over as a mar­ ginalised and identifiable group; request “distinct society” status.

Quentin Tarantino wins Cannes Movie Festival with latest oeuvre,

Scary Teenage Sex Stories, after having announced last year that he would never have to work again.

RuPaul replaced by John Travolta as M.A.C. spokesmodel. Travolta catches cross-dressing wave in lat­ est improv movie.

Mike Harris holds good on his proposed “ Common Sense Revolution” to cut $2 billion in spending. Paris-like strikes ensue in Toronto, except nobody notices.

Yonge Street barricaded by dis­ gruntled VIA Rail employees.

Innu bird statues reported as the hand weapon favoured by VIA strikers.

Saint Patrick follows in Gretzky’ s footsteps and turns to (Hollywood) the Kings.

D EN TA L CA RE w it h Q E N T L E N E S S 2 0 % off to M cG ill Students D r .

S tu a rt M

.

S e ltz e r

an d

D r .

S te v e n

J . S e ltz e r

Dental Surgeons - Chirurgiens Dentistes

Telephone: 738-9240 • 5757 ave., Decelles, suite 400 Montréal, Québec

F U R E 1143 OUEST DE M AISO N N EU VE • M ONTREAL, Q UÉBEC H3A 3B7 TÉLÉPHONE: (514) 288-5275

Page 12 F e a t u r e s

January 10th, 1996

Pediatric ethics raises thought-provoking questions

By Erin D olan

Science ediatric ethics was the topic of a P day-long conference held recent­ ly at the Montreal Children’ s Hospital. Among the issues addressed during the conference was the Do Not Resuscitate order.

A DNR order is a written state­ ment not to ventilate, give CPR, or give vasoactive drugs to a patient whose heart has stopped.

Dr. Mary Decell, a staff doctor in the intensive care unit at the

Montreal Children’ s Hospital, opened the discussion and presented the hospital’s draft policy regarding the writing of DNR orders. The draft policy sets out guidelines for how the decision to write a DNR order should be made, and how the family of the patient should be approached.

An important feature of the draft policy is that when an attending physician is considering writing a DNR order, the wishes of the patient or parents should prevail.

A health care delivery team or an attending physician might consid­ er writing a DNR order when the negative effects of reviving a patient

IMMIGRATION TO CANADA FAMILY SPONSORSHIP INVESTORS PROGRAM SKILLED WORKERS PROGRAM ENTREPRENEURS PROGRAM If you or your friends/relatives are studying at the university level and would like to obtain permanent residence status (Canadian Visa) in order to be able to stay in Canada, or would like to lift conditions from an existing visa, we can assist you or them in doing so!

CALL FOR FREE CONSULTATION FROM 10:00 AM TO 5:00 PM Charles Maisonneuve tel: (514) 286-4231 fax: (514) 286-2920 CANAMO INVESTMENT AND IMMIGRATION CORPORATION ASPRI, ASPRI & OUELLET, NOTARIES /

1981 AVENUE M e G IL L -C O L L E G E S U IT E 4 6 5 M o n tréal, Q uéb ec. H 3A 2W9

©

/

McGill

greatly outweigh the benefits. For example, in the case of a terminally ill child in the advanced stages of ill­ ness, performing CPR may revive the child, but often involves breaking many ribs. Therefore, after the resuscitative measures, the terminally ill child’s prognosis may be worse than it was before.

Two specific cases in which DNR orders were considered were presented after the draft policy was explained.

Laura Arbour, a fellow in genet­ ics at Montreal Children’s Hospital presented the case of Jason, a child admitted to the hospital with TaySachs disease, a neuro-degenerative disease.

Jason developed normally until six months of age at which point he started to deteriorate. His condition progressed in such a way that he could no longer sit, roll over, or com­ municate any of his needs.

Previous discussions had gone on with the family about a DNR order. Jason’s father was prepared to consider the order, but his mother met the idea with a lot of hostility.

“His mother really felt like he had a lot of life left in him and she wanted everything done [to save him]. Because the situation was becoming more severe, and he was deteriorating with pneumonia, it was felt that it was reasonable to approach the subject [of DNR] again,” said Arbour.

A discussion group was created to discuss the issue of a DNR order.

It consisted of the nurse that looked

after the child at home, the treating physician, representatives from the palliative care service, and an ethicist.

“After the discussion, it was really felt that resuscitation was not in the best interest of this child who would gradually progress to a vege­ tative state,” Arbour explained.

“Some felt it would be unethical to prolong the life of this dying child.”

The team knew that the mother wanted everything done for her child.

They had to decide if CPR was something they should be offering the family as a choice. They began to wonder whether the decision to allow the boy to die would be too painful for the family to make.

The team finally decided not to offer CPR as a potential treatment for the child. The nurse who had worked with Jason over the last few months and treating doctor were the ones to present the team’ s decision to the family and explained why they had come to this conclusion.

“Well, there’s really nothing for me to say,” stated the mother follow­ ing the explanation. “You’re not ask­ ing me, are you?”

Arbour saw the mother later that night, and was lead to believe that she had finally accepted the situation.

This was a special case, she explained. The treating physician was deeply involved, as was the nurse. Moreover, the decision was not made by a single person, but arose from a team. Also, the progno­ sis in this case was very definite.

Tay-Sachs disease inevitably ends in

death. Finally, it was decided that procedures such as CPR are not intended to prolong the death of a child.

Though this process worked in Jason’ s case, Arbour noted that it does not always apply. The case illustrated how the draft policy was used in one instance.

In another case, presented by Frank Camevale, head nurse of the Intensive Care Unit, a 17-year-old boy dying of a terminal illness was being treated by the MCH team. The issue of writing a DNR order was brought up on numerous occasions when Matthew’ s situation was reviewed and his prognosis became worse.

Throughout his stay, Matthew pleaded to be helped in every way possible.

“Please do everything you can for me,” Carnevale recounted Matthew as having said.

The health care team approached the family to discuss the DNR order as Matthew’s condition deteriorated.

“We want everything done for him,” responded Matthew’s family.

Matthew was given CPR when his heart stopped, but he died shortly after.

In the end, it is clear that all cases where DNR orders are consid­ ered, they must be evaluated on an individual basis. For decisions to be made about when to allow a person to die, the best an institution can hope to initiate is a reliable decision­ making procedure.

The McGill Computer Store would like to thank the following participants for their contribution to the December 1995 food drive campaign

Sadie’s SSMU Cert’s Sun Microsystems SSMU Volunteer Bureau

Apple Canada Merisel

Dash Courrier Walksafe

MCS would also like to congratulate the following winners of the December 1995 food draw: a

Performa 5200CD : Debbie McAllister

A

Sun Gym Bag: M. Ollivier

a

IBM C arry Bag: G. Major, E. Yellowhorn, R Doig,

A

Sun Ball Cap: W. Folkseth

B. Suter

A

Sun Rugby Shirt: E. Dingemans

T-Shirts: L. Lang, B. Halldor, B. Mullings, G. Lawson,

A

Lasertrak Tickets: F. Jabali

F. Pasta, S. Eisenberg, S. Czarnocki, L. Zhu, A. Kassay, M. Sendecki, S. Tsukamoto & O thers

A

Canadiens Pin Collection: R Ricco, D. M orzajew

A

n

i i it i »#

IO t MHO A

t\ MA*'.»,* 1

January 10th, 1996

E ntertainment

Lift your legs and sing out loud B y M ala B haumik _________________

chorus dancers there existed indi­ vidual personalities,” Levitt explains.

A Chorus Line is a musical about musicals. The plot evolves around an audition, and the con­ straints o f its nerve-wracking process.

The m usical is also an ‘ensemble’ piece, and seeks to bring the character to the forefront, continues Levitt. The central

“A large cast, a lot of egos, and tremendous talent,” exclaims director Ryan Levitt.

Of the 130 people who audi­ tioned in September for Player’s Theatre production of A Chorus Line, only 21 were chosen. Chosen for what? A gruelling rehearsal schedule with choreographer Diane Klich, known for her sadis­ tic passion for sit-ups.

Director Ryan Levitt claim s that each performer is absolutely perfect for his/her part. He quick­ ly adds that it was a difficult process try­ ing to find individuals suited to the demands of the show. It is a heavy dancing show, and Klich requires experienced dancers to make this spectacle work. In addition, among the acting parts, there is a four page monologue that calls for a strong actor. The predomi­ nance of m usical What a feelin’ numbers also means that performers must have strong themes of the musical are distrib­ singing abilities.

So where did these demi-gods uted in such a way that the whole becomes a set of individual stories of the arts come from?

There is a Concordia student, about the characters.

Levitt says that he is relying a McGill alumnus, but most are full-time McGill students. The tal­ on the combined dancing, singing ent also extends backstage: a light­ and acting abilities of each per­ ing designer from New York, a former to tell the story while they costume wizard in Houston who weave in and out of the spotlight.

It may seem hardly fitting that phones in to the locally recruited costume designer, and Jam es Levitt is putting on this grandiose Higgins, a band director with a list work in the constricted space of Players Theatre. He requires a bare of incredible credits.

The m usical itse lf is stage and an intimate space Broadway’s longest running hit. enabling the re-creation of a stress M ichael Bennett initiated A level comparable to an actual audi­ Chorus Line with audio taped rap tion.

“The space has been worked sessions of performers in New into the interpretation of the musi­ York city in the mid 70s.

“The intention was to show cal,” says Levitt. “When 1 chose that behind the glitz and glam of this piece I was aware of the limi­

tations of Players and wanted something that would not be com­ promised.”

A Chorus Line will inevitably be compared with Player’ s 1995 production of Cabaret. Levitt is aware of the ominous shadow he is working under.

“Comparing the two musicals is impossible,” he states.

Levitt explains that Cabaret is a book musical while A Chorus

Page 13

F I L M E L L A N E O U S C ra p T h ro a t Isla n d CutThroat Island has Geena Davis in it.

She’s not a good actress and she doesn’t tan well. She’ s supposed to be a pirate who’ s married to the director, Renny Harlin, who directed Die Hard 2: Die Harder, which was so successful that it became Die Hard 3: Die Hard with Another Villain with an Accent, the movie that was so bad that it couldn’t even be saved by Bruce Willis’ s fun-for-the-whole-family trademark line, “ Yabba dabba doo, mother­ fucker,” even though that was the same line used in the runaway block­ buster hit Die Hard, which also starred Alan Rickman, who was in Robin Hood: Kevin Costner Isn’t English, which featured a slick-ass Christian Slater, who was in Pump Up the Volume, which co-starred Samantha Mathis, who was with River Phoenix when he merged with the infinite outside the Viper Room, which is owned by Johnny Depp, who is Mickey Rourke Lite, who slathered his girlfriend in motor oil and took pictures for a European m agazine, which is read by Europeans, who seem to enjoy Louis Malle movies, one of which fea­ tured Julianne Moore, who flashed her pubes in Short Cuts, which made you think that Huey Lewis flashed his penis, but it was only a sex shop dildo, which was the topic of one of Sally Field’ s jokes in Punchline, which had Tom Hanks, who was on Family Ties twice, which once featured as a sexy nanny Geena Davis. The levels, man, the levels. Anyway, I left CutThroat Island after twenty minutes because it sucked and I wanted to save myself for the porno version, inevitably titled DeepThroat Island. Matthew Modine can’ t act either, even though this is his second boat movie, following Wind, which blew. Go rent Das Boot. It doesn’t have a wisecrackin’ monkey in it.

Dave Bushnell

N ix o n N ixon Line is a dance musical.

“What this means,” he contin­ ues, “is the former relies on the script and music and A Chorus Line combines dancing and story­ telling as its em phasis.” In response to my blank stare, Levitt declares, “If you don’t like theatre, you’ll like this. It gives a taste of everything, and its fun.”

Ic c t ^ o A Chorus Line goes up I January 16. Rumour has it I there may be a Pay-WhatYou-Can preview on January 13. Tickets are available at S a d ie ’s in the Shatner Building, or you can contact Player’s at 398-6813.

Think of it as JF K II. Even if you hate President Stone, you have to admire him. No other director, nay mortal, has such extreme confi dence in their view of reality.

Wary of Stone’s “narrative liberties” it is hard to divorce his artis tic interpretations from fact. While Stone paints a compelling and believable portrait, it is doubtful how credible an account of history it is. For example. Stone has Nixon sucking down litres of Bourbon, while those who knew him (even if in unfavorable circumstances) swear up and down that he was not an alcoholic. While some will justi­ fy this by pointing to the subjectivity inherent in film as a medium and the importance or making a dynamic narrative, it makes for a simplistically slanted view.

For a Stone film, however, it is surprisingly open-minded. He resists the usual temptation to make a cut-and-dry conclusion. Instead, he tries to get into Nixon’s psyche, employing flashbacks to his child­ hood, and constant allusions to his insecurity in being compared to Kennedy. Stone’s anarchist tendencies and idealization of the 60s is kept at bay. Nixon is appropriately human, even at his most evil.

Stone’s characteristically overblown film technique works well for the story. Colourful textures of film and ideas translate into an epic C o n tin u e d o n P a g e 1 5 M

Interview with a Grasshopper: Mercury Rev guitarist sounds off B y K urt N ewman

My first exposure to empire state noise mavens Mercury Rev was in 1991, on their tour with My Bloody Valentine, just before the release of their landmark debut Yerself Is Steam. In the midst of the careening guitar explosions, the acid blotter flute, and the typi­ cal mess of three or four songs going on at once, a young fan, who couldn’t have been older than 14, found himself on stage. Instead of ignoring him or kicking him off, shamanic lead singer David Baker, with a twinkle in his eye, handed him the microphone. Baker whis­ pered nonsense syllables in his ear, which the fan gleefully repeated, adding to the now-compounded confusion of the audience.

Five years later, Baker has gone on to pursue his solo project, Shady. Mercury Rev (whose core members remain drummer Jimy Chamberlain, guitarists G rass­ hopper and Jason Donahue, and flutist Suzanne Thorpe) have refined the blissed-out psychedelia of Yerself Is Steam and sophomore release Boces into something resembling order on their new release See You On The Other Side. “ That’ s one of the reasons why we split with Dave,” explains guitarist Grasshopper, who spoke to the Tribune after Mercury Rev’s set at Club Soda in December.

“The way he liked to do things was really off the cuff. We just spent hours and hours with the tape rolling. That’ s very expen­

sive, and taxing on the mind.”

- “We had no personal con­ tact,” says Grasshopper of the

majority of the band’ s history, in which each member lived in a dif­ ferent state. “It was tapes sent to

each other, so that was sort of the way it worked. Now we get together, and play, in a house or a living room. We don’t totally work things out, but we’re a little more structured. We don’t storm blindly into the studio.”

“We were just getting more into songs,” Grasshopper offers as explanation of the split with Baker, “and orchestrating them in a way, with the naïveté and the noise.”

Naïveté and noise would be the binary opposition that a struc­ tural critic would find in Mercury Rev’s music, but it would be facile to end the discussion there. While Grasshopper confesses that he is not aware of the “post-rock” banContinued on Page 15

Pageh Entertainment

January 10th, 1996

Like you needed another best records list B y K urt N ewman

Record top ten lists are about the most annoying things ever. If you own the records, you feel smug.

If you don’t, you feel guilty. To top

it all off, journalists get all their CDs for free. Here are five records that have undeservedly been left o ff most of the lists. So basically don’t read this if you don’t want to go to hell.

A rch e rs Of L o a f — Vee Vee

(Alias) The Chapel Hill scene has long suffered from a collegiate fear of capitol-’r’ rawk, each of its figure­ heads (Superchunk, Polvo, Bitch Magnet) adopting arty strategies for credibility. The Archers throw all of them into a blender — the atonal guitar figures, bratty vocals, non­ threatening punk rhythms — and come up with something not only a helluva lot catchier, but also a lot more significant. The eminently quotable “Greatest of All Time” is the best anti-rock anthem since “ Smells Like Teen Spirit” . Dean

Christgau loves this one, too.

The G eraldine Fibbers — Lost Somewhere Between The Earth and My Home (Virgin)

The rise of trip-hop, especially with the out-of-nowhere ascent of B ristol’ s Portishead, is mirrored by indie rock’s increas­ ing fixation with coun­ try. Like Portishead’ s Beth Gibbons, The Fibbers’s Carla Bozulich has a striking voice with qualities rarely heard in the pop world — world weariness without coy vulnerability, frustration without seductive intent.

But whereas Gibbons’s allure is her aloofness, Bozulich is audibly con­ nected to the world, to tradition, to the music.

Palace Music — Viva Last Blues

(Matador) Will Oldham’s country pushkin bit is an acquired taste, but this record is at least as successful as PJ Harvey’s rightfully laud­ ed To Bring You My Love. Like Harvey, Oldham mines the fertile ground of American rural music, but I dare say he does it with a little less pretension and a little more heart. Oldham pre­ sents big themes with almost biblical economy, and the conceit of the Palace project never over­ shadows the emotional power of songs like “No More Workhorse Blues.”

The beginning of a new year leaves us all a little disoriented. To prove that not all old acquain­ tances are forgotten, the Tribune has comprised (with the help of countless other year-end specials) a brief history of time spanning 1995.

Tom Hanks, with his sublime acting ability, garnered another Oscar for playing into America’s need to simplify and make safe their history. During the very same awards ceremony, Hoop Dreams was snubbed by the 93+ year-old judges, much to the chagrin of any­ one who cares about the medium.

Another hoop dream, also involving a 93+ year-old, belonged to A nna N icole S m ith , who thought she was going to get all of her mogul husband’s money after his death. Little did she suspect that his son would sneak into the pic­ ture and accuse her, in court no less, of only marrying his father for moolah.

Other court news that took up valuable newspaper and dinner

conversation

space

included

George Michael (remember him?) against Sony, Madonna (who is

reluctantly taking the stands for fear of being locked up) against a stalker who for some reason finds it worth his while to obsess about her, and C o u rtn ey L o v e , who assaulted an airline stewardess and must now face the fact that even though her icon-husband commit­ ted suicide, she’s still responsible for her actions. Oh right, the now unemployed and mass hated ex­ football player, what’ s his name, got off scott-free to loud cheers in Gert’s.

Speaking of TV phenomena, ER brought us all into the emer­ gency room (guess it’s better than 94’s obsession with real-life cop shows) confirming our suspicion that doctors really don’t have lives.

Friends made sure we didn’t have to go out and get a life, providing us instead with beautiful people in beautiful living spaces with beauti­ ful friendships, a warm meeting at the Central Perc on Thursday evenings.

As confirmed on the show,

Of 1 9 9 5

Ann Magnusson — The Luv Show (DGC/MCA)

Because the Oscars will inevitably leave the best movies of 1995 off its list, the Tribune has informally compiled its own.

Former Bongwater chanteuse and porno poster girl Ann Magusson delivers a concept album that actual­ ly works, unlike, say, that top ten topper by the Smashing Munchkins.

Taking her script from that most ubiquitous of heavy metal video tropes (the innocent-goes-toHollywood-and-descends-to-thedepths-of-sin-and-mousse-abuse), Magnusson spins a morality tale with more wacky references than a Mark Leyner story, and a magically delicious musical gumbo that includes grunge clang, Hee Haw twang and Kurt Weill sturm und drang.

While 1995 was a pretty non-happening year on the film scene, there were enough gems to make a top ten list. (The movies are not ranked in order of preference because we’re not that organised)

The Flaming Lips — Clouds Taste

Metallic (Warner) The narcotic thrill of the Lips has not diminished any, and Clouds Taste Metallic is by far their most mature and accomplished work to date. File it under the same category as a tall pitcher of kool aid, and schoolday afternoon spent watching the Three Stooges in bed.

1. Unzipped — a movie about Isaac Mizrahi that actually managed to make the fashion world look interesting.

2. Shallow Grave — A post-modern film noir (except that its in colour) with eye-candy shots combined with a hauntingly believable study of human motivation wrapped in a complicated, thriller plot.

3. Jeffrey — Jean Luc Picard and a host of other well-knowns romp around in a movie about living with the big A that isn’t a heavy downer.

4. Muriel’s Wedding — An Aussie flic with a carefree style (com­ mon to most films made down-under, a land that is also home to lots of marsupials — coincidence?) and a deep sincerity.

5. La Haine — A reeeaaaally intense film exploring the tensions which exist between the poor, ethnic youth of the Parisian suburbs and the racist police force. The story follows the movements of three friends throughout a 24-hour time-span. By the end of the film, you’ll have over­ dosed on adrenaline and lost of sense of hope.

6. Vanya on 42nd Street — The reunion of Andre Gregory and Wallace Shawn (who was only slightly better as the dinosaur in Toy Story), last seen together in Malle’ s My Dinner With Andre, proved absolutely sublime. David Mamet’ s adaptation of the slow-moving Chekhov play Uncle Vanya is thoroughly modern and doesn’t include a single ‘motherfucker’ .

7. Smoke — Wayne Wang’s latest resonates with a grace rarely seen in American movies. Taking chances with a novelistic structure, and full of artful restraint, Smoke is evidence that in the literary film sweepstakes, Auster beats out Austen hands down.

8. Clueless — One word — Alicia.

9. Crumb — The secret life of famed 60s comic artist icon and his screwed up family. Scary, scary man with an even scarier brother. A less than flattering, yet completely compelling story.

10. Amateur— Hal Hartley abandons his fixation with ABC after­ school special cinematography and contrapuntal dialogue, and the result is an emotionally mature, wildly absurdist, masterpiece.

-

To

Year in review: a series of meaning­ less pratfalls and near escapes B y Rachel S tokoe

Best Movies

Java houses are the cool hangs.

Witness the widespread phenome­ non of Starbucks, or its Canadian counterpart, Second Cup. Other artificial stimulations included Brad Pitt, who has now become a bona fide box-office pin-up, mak­ ing women aged 12-84 swoon.

Denzel Washington also (finally) broke into the big-babes of Hollywood.

Drew B arrym ore, however, wins the award for raising the most heartbeats. She managed, in a way that some other unnamed strippers and controversial teenage porn ad campaigns tried, to bring sensuality back into the act. She made no bones about her exhibitionist streak, thankfully for David Letterman, who has been too busy trying to pick up his ratings to get any action.

Another master of the sensual is American president hopeful, Bob Dole. Single-handedly deciding what is perverse and what is not, he boosted sales of Natural Born Killers and gangsta rap. He did Continued on Page 15 »

Tribune Staff

fi^WORST Movies ' of 1995

Hey, look at us. We’re cool. We’re jaded and cynical Gen-Xers and movies suck and so do you.

1. Showgirls — Apart from the titillation of seeing that chick from Saved By the Bell lick a pole, it had all the sensual appeal of cold french fries.

2. Kids — While significant, it was still horrible. Perv auteur Larry Clark fixed his gaze on miscreant skater assholes, and then dared America to “look at their kids.” Onanistic in the extreme.

3. Desperado — None of us have seen it, but we think hunka-hunkaburnin’ love Antonio stooped even lower than he did in Interview.

4. Strange Days/Hackers/Johnny Mnemonic/The Net — It’s all a plot to undermine Bill Gates and his attempt at world domination.

5. White Man’s Burden — An unfortunately uninsightful look at the what-if situation of a black and white role reversal. It played more like some paranoid redneck’s attempt to be politically correct.

6. Get Shorty — Another Tarantino-ised, and pretty sanitised parasite on Pulp Fiction’s success. Let’s face it, how else could heavy-around-themiddle-Travolta’s name above the title guarantee its success?

7. Destiny Turns On the Radio — Hello, swimming pool? Portal to another dimension? Tarantino? Isn’t his character getting a little old? And another thing; in Four Rooms, his section of the movie is just a Hitchcock rip-off.

8. Clueless —Two words — as if!

9.

Waterworld — Despite the fact they find land in the end, the movie is upsettingly over-priced, and anyone who thinks it was worth all $200 million (US) is buying into the capitalist myth. It features Dennis Hopper as ... no wait, let me guess ... a crazy villain? What a twist!

10. Apollo 13 — Forever linking in our heads Tom Hanks and NASA, thus linking Forrest Gump with NASA authorities, thus making us all doubt the competence of astronauts, thus making us all oppose the governmental funding of the space mission.

- Tribune S ta ff

k I

5)00 T rrl O r r-f .i r '

^ r ^ m r n r & p .t n * * * ■ ■ T

Entertainment

January 10th, 1996

Mercury Rev...

I I Continued from Page 14

ner that rock crits have been flying of late, Mercury Rev are probably the de facto leaders of this renewed interest in drones, extend­ ed song structures, odd instrumen­ tation, and sci-fi lyrical concerns.

Is this an escape from the ideologi­ cally sanctioned sim plicity of punk, or simply the resurrection of that most bloated and pompous of genres, progressive rock? Mercury Rev confuse the matter further by christening their album See You On the Other Side, which also fea­ tures lunar imagery on its cover.

All of this rather blatantly alludes to a certain Pink Floyd record, one would think. “ Not really ,” responds Grasshopper to these queries. “It was more like something we would say to each other. We all

F 1i

1 m o 11 a n e » u s

I I Continued from Page 13

style. While he is still prone to throw in loaded assumptions (like Hoover’ s predilection for fishnets and young Arab boys) they take a back burner in the film.

Anthony Hopkins eerily takes on the character of Nixon. After the first ten minutes, the audience all but forgets his Tammy-Faye Baker make-up job. He transforms him self instantaneously from blank face to the scary, toothy grinning public personna of Nixon.

While Stone out does his other biography films, his largerthan-life reality still gets in the way of his representation of reali­ ty-

lived in different states, and it was blues, and what have you,” sort of a farewell message till the explains Grasshopper. “We hold next time we saw each other. It true to that vision of it, whereas also has a weird spiritual connec­ now, rock and roll, its established, tion, because to get to the other its formulaic. We think of it in the side, whether its music, or drugs or old sense, all of those musics sex or parachuting, or whatever, being put together.”

“We ended up ju st to get out doing music for there.” other friends of ours While prog sits “If humans are film s. That’ s how on one side of the gonna continue on, psychedelic/self- we gotta find a way we all got together.

Nature film s, you indulgent rock know like PBS fence, on the other off the earth, Buffalo, they were is the Velvet because its gonna doing some nature U n derground/La be gone.” things and we would Monte Young just do the sounds, school of beehive drones, folk modalism, and use of for like the woodchuck waddling space as freedom from the mastur- over to the hole.”

“After we all started playing batory instincts of rock rather than together, we started doing more a stairway to them. stu ff,” says “Rock and roll was originally songs and a conglomeration of jazz, folk, Grasshopper. tragedy.

Lost in the hoopla surround­ ing the m ovie’ s leads is Val Kilmer. As an accom plice to McCauley, he very nearly steals every scene from De Niro with his quiet, smouldering rage.

Heat can be as explosive (in the epic bank robbery sequence) as it can be reflective (in the café where Pacino and De Niro at last meet and talk). Its nuanced scenes of humanity are offset by ones of unbridled passion — the viewer is often unsure whether to slide back in the seat or inch closer to its edge.

It is this precarious nature of the film that sends it headlong toward its resolution. In attempt­ ing to figure the levels of human emotion at play, one remains absorbed within the film’s fragile balance even as the credits roll.

—Rachel Stokoe

A review er ‘n ’ H e a t Clocking it in at just under three hours, Michael Mann’s Heat has been receiving as much atten­ tion for its running time as for the fact that (all together now) ROBERT DE NIRO AND AL PACINO SHARE THE SILVER SCREEN FOR THE FIRST TIME. Once you get past the sur­ rounding hype and in through the doors of the theatre, you are likely to be both visually and aurally awed by a film that transcends the traditions of a cops and robbers thriller.

Pacino plays Vincent Hanna, an intelligent yet obsessive detec­ tive who wrestles with the com­ mitment to both his adopted family and his pursuit of bad guys. The said bad guys are led by De Niro’s Neil McCauley, an intelligent yet obsessive tactician, predisposed to reading heavy books on metals before plotting to cut through a safe with an acetylene torch.

Mann, of Miami Vice and Manhunter (the brilliant prequel to Silence of the Lambs) fame, knows how to light and capture fireworks on celluloid. The film deals with the oldest of stories, yet Mann redefines it with characters that make both sides of the law exude

—J.S. Trzcienski

T w elve M o n k e y s ’s m ille n ial g a r b a g e ' The apocalypse has been dominating the multiplex of late, but the relentless nihilism of the post Blade Runner boom has resulted in a spate of releases more sophomoric than a Daytona spring break.

Director Terry Gilliam’s work (B raz il, Time Bandits, The Adventures of Baron Munchausen, The Fisher King) has consistently evidenced the value of the fantas­ tic and of the imaginative in film.

Twelve Monkeys provides a hellish vision of the future wherein ani­ mals dominate the world and

humans live in Bentham-esque prisons. A convoluted time travel narrative, involving mental institu­ tions, anarchist plots, and killer viruses unfolds— it’s pretty upset­ ting to see one of the world’s most iconoclastic auteurs turn out a film that plays like a cultural studies undergrad’s acid trip.

Gilliam returns to his domi­ nant theme of the evils of bureauracy, but here his presentation is facile; absent is his exploration of the triumph of the imagination that has previously rescued his work from bathos.

The film has the feel of a heavy metal guitar solo— strident, thrashing pyrotechnics, halfdigested apocalyptic Christian iconography, thousands of signi­ f i e s signifying nothing. Bruce Willis has recieved laurels for a supposedly mature performance, but the critics have apparently been duped into buying his gri­ maces as substitutes for maturity.

Like the world needs another Jack Nicholson. Worse is Brad Pitt, whose ‘crazy guy’ spaz-outs are so grating and transparently false that they make Jim Carrey’s psychoRiddler jerk o ff seem like Stanislavski.

To be fair, Gilliam is a master storyteller, and the tale he tells, while convoluted, is not entirely unsuccesful. Despite problems with his aesthetic, he cannot be faulted for making a film that is as engaging and visually arresting as Twelve Monkeys. Gilliam, howev­ er, can usually be counted upon for food for thought, and here delivers apocalyptic bubblegum.

—Kurt Newman

But the process isn’t quite as direct as it might be for your typi­ cal verse-chorus traffickers. “Even in our songs we work in strange ways, like instead of speaking in chords, we talk in images. Like having ‘jupiter smashing into an asteroid’ , or something,” he con­ tinues.

The science fiction aspect which dominates the band’ s imagery has intensified on the new album — but its safe to say that, unlike the wilful arcana of groups like Stereolab, Mercury Rev’s con­ cerns remain earthbound. This bal­ ance of the personal and the fan­ tastic is what allowed Rev progen­ itors like Spacemen 3 to avoid astral rock cartoonism. This sensi­ bility, however, isn’ t enough to restrain G rasshopper from indulging in a bit of lunatic fringe sermonizing. “We have to find a

-r ^ 9 page 15

way out” states Grasshopper, tongue possibly in cheek. “ If humans are gonna continue on, we gotta find a way off the earth, because its gonna be gone. And so space is just an interest. Outer space. Inner space. It all con­ nects.”

The band plans on continuing what its been doing, but erratic personalities shed some doubt on the future of the band. The Tribune’ s interview was delayed by several hours, as the band’ s members engaged in a soul-search­ ing argument that stretched from soundcheck to moments before the beginning of the set. It seemed like a not irregular occurrence.

G rasshopper offers a Son House quote in closing: “I don’t know the future/ I don’t know the past/ but every day could be my last.”

Year in review...

I I Continued from Page 14

not, however, dismiss talk-shows like Je n n y J o n e s ’s, even after her lethally infamous secret crushes special.

Also on the dark side of the spectrum is Chanel’s V a m p , a nail polish that (with the help of U m a T h u r m a n ) went from vampire fashion statement to McGill chic in the course of the year. The colour was about as A b F a b as the British sitcom, which, after dying in England, resurrected itself in the Americas.

Just as trashy was the resur­ gence of L a s V e g a s, the final word

in all that is tackily hip and hap­ pening. Embracing the values attached to drugs, violence, sex and money is becoming as chic as own­ ing one of th o se a n n o y in g little ch ih u ah as.

H u gh G r a n t, P a m e la L e e , M ic h a e l J a c k s o n , C lu e le s s , th e N ew J a m e s B o n d , th e B e a t le s , th e X - F i l e s , A la n is M o r is s e t e , J F K J r ’ s G eo rg e , T o o W on g F oo , th e P o p e , J a n e A u s t i n , K a t o K a e lin , E m m a T h o m p so n , J e r r y G a r c i a , and S e l e n a ju st don’ t

deserve anymore paper space, but they all contributed to making 1995 a little more special.

A Pool Tables ($1.00/game) A B.B. Foot A Video Games A Open 7 days

700M IV I Salle de billiard

Great Specials!

S hooters Tequila, Rum , Vodka Southern Com fort, Sam buca, Schnapps

$2.00 Beer

1 2 p m ' 3 a m a Giant Screen TVs

and Satellite Dish

1245 D R U M M O N D

3 9 3 -4 5 8 9

(Comer Ste-Catherine) Below Harvey's

$2.50 M onday - Thursd ay

A G reat Place fo r Students

McGill Residences

A SSIST A N T D IR EC TO R S R ESID EN C E FELLOW S DO N S

The McGill Residences are accepting applications for the above staff positions for the 1996-97 academic year. Applications should be McGill students at the time of the appointment.

Interested persons may pick up application forms at the office in Bishop Mountain Hall or call 398-6363 (Andrée) for information.

The deadline for submitting applications is January 31,1996.

Martlets beat U of M and win Concordia volleyball tourney B y D an W ells

had 14 kills, 6 stuffed blocks, 10 digs and a 2.58 pass percentage.

Weise added 12 kills and 6 stuffed blocks in the Martlet victory.

In their second game of the tournament, the Martlets faced off against University of Montreal and, for the first time ever, the Red ‘n White beat their powerhouse rival.

The ninth ranked McGill Martlets volleyball team seem to have benefited from the festivities of the holiday season. Before the winter break, they sat respectfully in third place — a full eight points behind the mighty University of Montreal and Laval University teams, tied for first.

The trouble the Martlets have had with both these teams could soon diminish as the up­ start McGill women beat the University of Montreal team, and three others, capturing the Concordia women’s volleyball tourna­ ment.

With the addi­ tion of a new coach and a crop of very talented rookies, this year’ s team has steadily improved throughout the sea­ son. The holidays offered the Martlets a chance to re­ The Martlets hammered all competition. group. Only one week into the new year, the Martlets have made it known that Though it took five sets, McGill they are not fooling around in 1996. won by scores of 7-15, 15-12, 5-15, The combined efforts of rookie 15-11, 15-13. The win all but Wendy Whelan and veteran-star clinched the gold for Martlets and Britta Weise allowed the Martlets to once again, the 6’ 1 Whelan led the capture the Concordia volleyball way with 10 kills, 4 stuffed blocks tournament in breath-taking fash­ and an incredible 23 digs. Weise ion. was also a force in this game with In their first game of the tour­ 18 kills, 8 stuffed blocks and 10 nament, the Martlets beat the John digs. Anie de la Fontaine added 11 Abbott Islanders 3-0 by scores of kills, 5 stuffed blocks and 13 digs in 15-13, 15-12, and 15-12. Whelan the victory effort.

On Sunday, the McGill team beat Acadia University by a score of 3-0. McGill won by scores of 15-7, 15-2 and 15-8. Weise and Whelan led the way for the Martlets once again with a combined 20 kills, 9 stuffed blocks and 11 digs.

With a perfect 3 and 0 record the Martlets faced off against the host Concordia Stingers in the last game of the round robin tourna­ ment. In what would ultimately be the gold medal game for the Martlets, the McGill team rose to the occasion and beat the Stingers in a close 5 set match. The final scores were 15-13, 15-2, 10-15, 1215 and 15-14.

The see-saw match was ulti­ mately won by the Martlets’ great team effort but once again Weise and Whelan showed why they are two of the best players in the province, guiding the Martlets to victory. Weise had an impressive 16 kills, 6 stuffed blocks and 7 digs.

Whelan had 13 kills, 7 stuffed blocks and 21 digs. Anie de la Fontaine added 14 kills, 3 stuffed blocks and 8 digs.

With a perfect 4 and 0 record the Martlets captured the tourna­ ment gold and have the volleyball world on the look out. The University of Montreal finished in second place followed - by Concordia, John Abbott College and then Acadia. The Martlets go into the new year and the new sea­ son with renewed confidence and are eager to confront league leaders Laval, on January 9-10.

R edm en steal show, beat Stingers for third tim e B y A dam G lenny

For those of you who missed it, the McGill Redmen basketball team stunned the powerful Concordia Stingers before a packed crowd at the Currie Gym on December 2. Trailing by a score o f 33-32, the Redmen stormed back and beat the Stingers by a score of 79-70.

Previous to this game, the Stingers were ranked number four in the country and were looking every bit the defending champions that they are. But through the heroics o f veteran star Rick V arisco and some 22 steals amassed by the Redmen in the game, the Stingers will surely lose that high ranking. It was only McGill’s third win in their last 34 meetings with Concordia, dating back to the 1987-88 season.

The real story of this game was veteran back courter Rick Varisco who came off the bench to score 21 points. Varisco was playing with a badly sprained ankle and only entered the game in the second quarter. Right away, Varisco took control of the game and connected for 6 three-pointers on only 1 attempt, was 3 for 4 from the foul line and grabbed 9 rebounds.

Ryan Schoenals was named as the team’ s MVP. He had 15 points, 9 rebounds, 6 assists and 5 steals before fouling out. Other scorers for the Redmen were Joel Pearlman who had 9 points, Chris Emergui who had 7 points, and i a Chad Wozney, who had 7 points The Martlets face Laval at 8 and 6 rebounds in 13 minutes p.m. in the Currie gym and before re-injuring his sprained host both Sherbrooke and ankle. The Redmen are in a threeConcordia on Saturday and way tie for first place with a 2-1 Sunday at 2 p.m.

I record.

After a short holiday season lay-off, the Redmen were back in action on the weekend of December 28-30 as they travelled to Toronto to compete in the Ryerson-Ed DeArmon Tourney.

With the after-effects of a little too much egg nog still ringing in their heads, the Redmen dropped all three games and went home empty-handed.

Guelph was the first team to beat the weary McGill boys, and they did so handily by a score of 84-62. The Gryphons led 36-22 at the half and never looked back.

V arisco had 11 points for the Redmen and Schoenals added 10 with 6 rebounds.

In their second game of the tourney, the Redmen played Humber C ollege and lost by a score o f 99-82. V arisco and Schoenals once again led the way with 16 and 12 points respective­ ly-

The Redmen put in an excel­ lent effort in the last game of the tourney and almost staved o ff their skunking. Playing against Nayouth C ollege out of Rochester, New York, McGill had a 4-point lead going into the final 20 seconds of the game and man­ aged to lose by a score of 90-89 when a Nayouth player sank a three pointer at the buzzer for the win. Schoenals had 17 points to lead all Redmen scorers, followed

by Peter Fraser with 16 and Chad Wozney who had 15.

The Redmen are 7-12 overall and play host to the Laval Rouge et Or this Friday at 8p.m.

New faces on hockey team boost Redmen to second place B y D ana T oering

The Redmen hockey team finished off last semester tied for second place in the OUAA with a 6-5-2 record and a 8-9-2 record overall. With last year’s successes behind them, the Redmen geared up for a new beginning in 1996.

The new year also meant some new faces for the Redmen lineup. Three new players joined the Redmen and one new coach coached the Red ‘n White at the annual Concordia H oliday Tournament.

Head coach Terry Bangen was not behind the bench for the Redmen this holiday season as he left to fulfil his duties with Team Canada at the world junior cham­ pionship in Boston.

Congratulations to the rookie McGill coach as Canada brought home its fourth gold medal in as many years.

While coach Bangen was winning gold, his local boys were also doing well. McGill assistant Martin Raymond handled the team in his absence.

Among the new faces are three players who should make an immediate im pact on the Redmen’ s season. Fifth-year play­ er Luc Latulippe has returned to the lineup for his final year after sitting out the first sem ester.

Latulippe, 25, has a 25-79-104 career record in 143 games for the Redmen. The other recent addi­ tions include defenceman JeanAlain Schneider of Colchester Vermont (brother of former Hab Mathieu Schneider), and right­ winger Nathan Morin of Montreal who has completed his stay in the QMJHL. Decem ber 28-30 saw the Redmen compete in the Concordia Holiday Tournament where they won only one of three games.

In their first game of the tour­ ney, the Redmen faced the Laurentian Voyageurs. McGill has a lifetime record of 6-3-1 against the V’ s and improved that by one win with a 7-1 victory.

Latulippe scored his first goal in his first game back for the Redmen. Other goal scorers for the Redmen were Jean-G uy Daigneault, Luc Fournier, Kelly Nobes, David Butler and Mike Buffone. Goalie Jarrod Daniel played a solid game in the pipes for the red and white making 32 saves and relinquishing only one goal.

On December 29, the Redmen faced o ff against the University of Manitoba Bison’ s.

The game demonstrated how badly the Redmen need to work on their penalty killing. The Bisons scored 7 of their 8 goals on the power-play and sent the Redmen packing with 8-4 drub­

bing.

Despite a valiant effort from goaltender Robert Bourbeau who stopped 41 shots, the Redmen could not contain the highly effec­ tive powerplay of the Bison team.

Sharp shooter Pierre Gendron has been on fire of late, and he contin­ ued his torrid pace with a two goal effort. The deuce scored by Gendron gave him a twelve-game scoring streak. The Redm en’ s leading scorer is also sixth in scor­ ing in the OUAA; before the break Gendron had 11 goals and 15 assists in only 12 games. The other McGill goals were scored by Stéphane A ngers and Mike Buffone.

In their final game o f the tournament, the Redmen played the host Concordia Stingers and lost a hard-fought battle by a score of 4-2. Daniel played a superb game in goal for the Redmen stop­ ping 22 of 26 shots. In a game rid­

dled with penalties, the Redmen were unable to capitalise on their chances going 2 for 16 on the powerplay. Concordia led 2-0 only to see their lead diminish with two Redmen goals in the sec­ ond period. With 14 minutes left in the game the Stingers scored twice to ice the victory. Gendron and Nobes scored for the Redmen.

Gold medal in hand, coach Bangen returned for the Redmen’ s first two league games of the new year. The exhausted coach showed up for the R edm en’ s game against Ryerson on January 5 and coached his team to an impressive 5-3 win over the host Rams.

Stéphane A ngers w as the hero o f the day for the Red ‘ n White, scoring two goals includ­ ing the winner. Nobes, Francois Lajeunesse and Benoit Leroux Continued on Page 18

S p O l t S Page 17

January 10th, 1996

McGill track and field continues to impress in early season meets

By T ribune Staff

Unknown to many — even those who follow sports — is the fact that track and field is a winter sport here in the Great White North. The McGill track and field team has been busy over the past month as they competed in some early season meets and have pro­ duced some pretty im pressive results.

At the December 2nd McGill open, the M cGill teams began their season in fine form.

Meredith Motley captured gold for the Martlets in the 300m race with a time o f 42.0 seconds.

Andrea Taylor won gold in the 600m race with a time of 1:38.7.

Marie Hildebrand grabbed silver in the 60m hurdles, completing the event in 9.47 seconds. Kelly Maloney finished fourth in the 1000m with a time o f 3:15.3.

Finally the McGill women won a pair o f silver m edals in the

4x200m and 4x400m relays.

The Redmen were equally successful at the host-open. Cory Henderson led McGill to gold in the triple jump, with a distance of 13.77m. The Redmen relay team, made up o f M aurice Ennis, Ravind Grewal, Peter Pound and Pumulo Sikaneta, were victorious in the 4x400m event, with a time of 3:24.8. The 4x200m relay team won a bronze and met CIAU stan­ dard with a time of 1:31.8. This team consisted of Kirk McNally, Sikaneta, Grewal and Herve Edongo. Grewal also won silver in the 300m with a time of 36.1 sec­ onds.

This past weekend, at what coach Dennis Barrett called “an early season meet” , the McGill team did well once again. The McGill men and women travelled south to the Dartmouth Relays and left the good old U.S. of A. with many fine performances.

A lex Hutchinson won the

mile event in a time of 4:19.35, becoming the first McGill runner ever to do so. Sikaneta was fourth in the 400m in a time of 49.36.

Grewal was sixth in the 400m with a time o f 50.96. Andre Taylor captured the silver in the women’ s 400m with a time of 58.73. Marie Hildebrand was fifth in the same race with a time of 60.40. The powerful M cG ill men’ s 4x400m relay team met CIAU qualifying standard with a time o f 3:23.97. The team of Sikaneta, Grewal, McNally and Hutchinson placed second in the event.

In the distance medley relay, a race that is not run in Canada, the M cG ill team o f Andrea T aylor, Tam ara C osta, R osie Mullins and Tambra Dunn placed second. This event consists of four legs with distances of 800m, 400m, 1200m and 1600m being run in that order. The McGill team finished in a time of 2:20.51.

Ah! The luxury o f an indoor track!

Coach Barrett seemed very pleased with his teams efforts over the past few meets but expressed regret at the lack of com petition at the Dartmouth meet.

“It was a good meet to start off the season, but I don’t think

that we’ll be back next year,” said Coach Barrett. “The team needs to compete against fresh competition and this meet was full of teams that we compete against regularly.

All in all, I was happy with the performances and am looking for­ ward to the upcoming season.”

A day in the life of a Flying Beefcake B y A ndrew B o o n

With a crisp pass that splits the defence, the lanky yet smooth for­ ward slides the puck ahead, stick­ handling his way through, before ripping it home above the goalie’s left shoulder.

Though this may sound like the description of a Leafs forward, it is actually referring to a Flying Beefcake.

‘What is a Beefcake?’ you ask.

My sports reporter’ s hunger to reveal new and exciting stories led me to follow, and even become a fan of this intramural hockey team.

Why? I’m still trying to figure that out, but it did have to do with the enormous amount of McGill stu­ dents who participate in a wide array of intramural sports, includ­ ing soccer, basketball, and broomball to name a few. What makes people sacrifice their studies, time, and physical well-being to play in leagues without recognition? I guess you could say, I’m here to find that out.

In my quest for revelation, I chose the B eefcakes, mostly because my roommate plays for them. I thought I would find a bunch of NHL wannabees, or for­ mer junior players, or simply no talent stick swingers. Instead, what I found was a fairly high calibre league that demonstrated all the things I like about hockey. Crisp passing, hard shooting, blood and guts — it all made my investiga­ tion quite enjoyable. But why is it so competative, and what makes these Beefcakes play their guts out? Team captain Je ff Starr shared his views. “ It’ s a good opportunity to have a bit of fun with the guys, and play a game you love with your friends. We still take it seriously though. We’ ve actually ordered our own team jersey s at $30 a piece. I guess that might tell you a bit about the competativness.”

McGill’ s intramural program has existed in one form or another for approximately 110 years and has an annual participation popula­

tion of about 6,000 students. With ‘play to play’ and it gives them the each passing year, students are chance to perhaps meet some new putting aside the time to partic­ people and form friendships.”

Upon witnessing a recent ipate, compete, but mostly enjoy Beefcake themselves in a game, an fun and relaxed actual fight environment.

I could a n a lyze the p s y ­ broke out.

Campus Rec­ che of the paradigm Now I’ m not reational Cocondoning ordiantor Peter intram ura l particip ant, fighting, but I Smith explained but I get the feeling th a t thought it was as to why intra­ murals are so th e se peo ple sim p ly w a nt a b s o l u t e l y fantastic that popular. to w in w hen having fun. these guys got “ Our pro­ so pumped up gram offers all students a chance to participate in a over intramurals — that they could, fairly competative league. The and would resort to fist-o-cuffs. I league itself does a lot for the stu­ could analyse the psyche of the dents, in that if you don’t have a paradigm intramural participant, team, we’ll put you on one. People but I get the feeling that these peo­

W M c G IL L

W SPORT SHOP T h e GREAT Sale

until the end of January

ple simply want to win when hav­ ing fun. And just what do you win? Well you get the coveted beer mug, an inspirational trophy I’m sure. Leader of the Beefcake offensive juggernaut, Casey Martin offered his views.

“It might just seem like a stu­ pid mug but it would be a great way to end the season. We’re all buddies so we have a lot of fun playing each week, but come March we all want that mug and we fully expect to finish what

P

• • • • • • •

Crested T-shirts from $7.00 Crested Shorts from $11.90 Embroidered Crewneck Sweatshirts from $21.00 Embroidered Misty Mountain Jacket $59.00 Extra Special Sportstop Parka Jacket $59.00 (Reg. $119.00) Squash racquets 50% off Regular Price Shoes ■ great reduction i.e. Nike Air Cross Trainer $69.00 • Baseball Caps Embroidered $9.99 Special Orders for Teams • Clubs • Student Groups are available at even lower prices.

CURRIE GYM A t t O .ft A O ft 475 Pine Ave.W. *lT7 Y mO,tA O

ro gram m e des

M O N IT E U R S D E LA N G U ES O F F IC IE L L E S L a n d e r n ie r , P ie rre , F r é d é r ic k et Ju lie o n t, c o m m e d e s c e n ta in e s d e je u n e s Q u é b é c o is e s e t Q u é b é c o is , v é c u u n e e x p é r ie n c e in o u b lia b le : ils o n t e u la c h a n c e u n iq u e d e p a r tic ip e r a u P r o g r a m m e d e s m o n it e u r s ?u,'e Ucombe d e la n g u e s o ffic ie lle s.

En donnan t un co u p de pouce à u n e n s e ig n a n t o u à u n e e n s e ig n a n te , ils o n t c o n tr ib u é à fa ir e c o n ­ n a îtr e la r é a lité q u é b é c o is e à d e s je u n e s d 'a u t r e s p r o v in c e s , to u t en d é c o u v r a n t e u x - m ê m e s u n e a u tr e c u ltu re .

We guarantee the lowest price in town of all our Regular Priced items. As our way of saying Thanks to faculty, staff and students for their support In 1995, we reduced the prices on all our stock.

EXTRA SPECIAL FANTASTIC PRICES:

we’ ve started,” said the seasoned Intramural veteran.

So what’s the point? Well, I say enough of people declaring, “Be Like Mike!” I say, “Be Like A Beefcake!” and shake the dust off those runners or skates. Your times at McGill can be more than just work. Intramurals are a viable and accessible way for all to allevi­ ate the common stress that we encounter sometimes. With that in mind, all I can say is, Go McGill, Go Beefcakes, and Go Sign Up.

t/îm bhsoêtMCItt! Frédérick Brault

L i e s m o n ite u r s e t m o n itr ic e s à te m p s p a r t ie l p o u r s u iv e n t sim u lta n é m e n t d e s é t u d e s c o l l é g ia l e s o u u n i v e r s i t a i r e s d a n s la p r o v in c e q u i le s a c c u e ille . L e s m o n ite u r s e t m o n itr ic e s à t e m p s p le in s e c o n s a c r e n t e n t iè r e m e n t à c e tte tâ c h e . Ils d o iv e n t a v o ir te r m in é a u m o in s u n e a n n é e d 'é t u d e s u n iv e r s i­ ta ir e s . L a r é m u n é r a t io n o f fe r te e s t d e 3 5 0 0 $ p o u r h u it m o is d e tr a v a il à t e m p s p a r tie l e t d e 11 4 0 0 $ p o u r n e u f m o is d e tr a v a il à t e m p s p le in .

à la perso n n e resp o n sab le d e l'aid e financière a u x étu d ian ts d a n s so n établissem en t d'enseignem ent; a u x directions ré gio n ales d u m inistère d e l'É ducation; au m inistère d e l'Éducation D irection gén érale d e l'aid e financière au x étu d ian ts S ervice d e s p ro g ra m m e s d e lan g u e seconde 1035, rue D e La C h evrotière, 21‘ étage Q u ébec (Q uébec) G I R 5A5 Tél. : (418) 646-5232.

P o u r p a rticip er a u P ro g r a m m e en 1996-1997, il fa u t s 'y in scrire a u p lu s ta rd le 15 fé v rie r 1996.

P o u r ob ten ir p lu s d e d é ta ils su r le P ro g ra m m e , il su ffit d e s'a d r e s s e r :

einl'isÉtè durecation ESdM

Gouvernement du Québec

l+ l

f 'S &£

Page 18

S p O rtS

January 10th, 1996

Martlets hockey continue success in exhibition play Rookie O ’Reilly sparks offence with a pair o f goals B y A ly so n

F o u r n ie r

Kathleen O ’ Reilly is the spark that the M cGill Martlets were looking for. It was a double­ debut for the 19-year-old rookie, and she made the most of it.

The young left-winger scored a pair of third-period power play goals to lift the McGill Martlets women’ s hockey team to their fourth straight exhibition game

victory, a 4-2 decision over John Abbott Islanders Saturday night at the McConnell Winter Arena.

The game was O ’ R e illy ’ s first with the Martlets and it was also the first against her former teammates. She played two sea­ sons with John Abbott while attending CEGEP. O’Reilly was also a member of the Quebec provincial junior team.

“Kathleen is the type of play­

S T U D E N T

S P E C IA L S

vith presentation of this ad • all prices include tax

Colour Perm Highlights

28.75* 1/2 1/2 Head HeadHighlights Highlights 47.00* 47.00* 63.00* HaircutsrWomen HaircutsrWomen 29.00 29.00 63.00* Men 22.00

er we need to rebuild our programme,” said coach Dan Madden, “ She is a good playmaker, but best of all, she can put the puck in the net and that is something we have struggled with this year.”

Offence was at a premium again Saturday night for the Martlets. On a power play, defenceman Beth Brown shovelled a pass to O ’ Reilly who fired a bullet past goalie Erin L eslie, 1:48 into the third period.

The Martlets are looking to rebuild this season.

The Islanders answered back less than five min­ Much like she had done earlier in utes later when Erin Hall’ s shot the period, the sharpshooter rifled from the blueline eluded McGill a shot over Leslie’ s left shoulder goalie Septem ber Weir. The to give McGill a 4-2 win, improv­ Martlets regained the lead when ing the Martlets exhibition record M cG ill’ s leading scorer Claire to 4-3-1.

Sharpe pounced on a rebound at M artlets centre Megan 9:25, baiting the John Abbott net- Priston gave the Martlets a 1-0 minder to the short side. lead in the final minute of the sec­ O ’ Reilly put the finishing ond period. John Abbott evened touches on the victory with anoth­ the count when Alison Piela’s shot er power play goal with 40 sec­ deflected off a Martlet defender onds remaining in the game. and past a surprised Weir with 14 seconds on the clock.

While the Martlets are enjoy­ ing success in exhibition, it’s back to business this week with a pair

o f gam es in the University Women’ s Hockey League. The Red ‘n White travel to St. Laurent Wednesday where they hope to improve upon a pair of shutout lo sses, (7-0 and 4-0) to the Patriotes. Game time is 7 p.m. at College St. Laurent. c c t^ o McGill is at home Saturday evening fo r an encounter with the highly skilled Concordia Stingers. Game time is 7:30 p.m. at the McConnell Winter Arena.

Students wanted for night classes $10 • Supervised by qualified hair stylists

M en’s hockey... added to his point tally with a goal and three a ssists while N icolas Cantin and Schneider added the others.

With two more league victo­ ries in hand, the Redmen’s record stands at an impressive 8-5-2 and are tied for second place with Ottawa.

C o n tin u e d from P a g e 16

êêèê

fiifji

a

lill

added the other sin gles with Leroux adding two assists as well.

Bourbeau was the man in the mask for the Redmen stopping 19 of 22 shots.

The next day the Redmen travelled to St. Catharines to play Brock and won a shootout by the score of 7-5.

Daniel was once again solid in goal for the Redmen stopping 29 of 34 shots. McGill captain Todd Marcellus broke out of his scoring slump in “prime time” fashion scoring four goals and adding one assist. Pierre Gendron

C ft

The Redmen host the GeeG ee’s this Wednesday at 7 p.m. at the M cConnell Winter A rena and C on cordia Stin gers on Friday at 7 p.m.

On W ednesday, Jan u ary 10, be at the SSM U front co u nter in the Shatner Building from 6-9 pm and

REGISTER FOR: Sh iatsu M assage R ock'n'R oll and Swing

yoga C P R - H eart Saver

Ballroom Dancing Latin A m erican Dancing

Bartending Tai Chi

FOR MORE INFO: W a tc h f o r m in i c o u r s e fly e r s o r c a ll Z o i a t 3 9 8 - 2 4 5 3

m

m

w

W Fa cu lty of M usic N €U I CO URSÉ PO PU LA R

•

M U S IC

2 1 0 -3 9 2 0 AFTER

1 9 4 5

From ABBA to Z a p p a ... from Z ig g y Stardust to A erosm ith ... on historical introduction to ROCK and som e o f its cousins.

Tuesday and Thursday from 3:00 - 4 :3 0 p.m ., Fra

n k

D

f h ju s o n

A

d a m s

Instructor: M itchell M orris m

A

u d it o r iu m

S p o r t s / W h a t ’s O n

January 10th, 1996

Wednesday. January 10 •The McGill Choral Society meets tonight to bring in the new year! New singers welcomed; no experience required. Come to room C304 in the Strathcona Music building. Call 3986814 for details.

•LBGTM holds its Bisexual Discussion Group today at 17:30 in Shatner 423. All welcome.

•The Used Textbook Co-op is still accepting used books to be re-sold next week (Jan 15). Drop off books in Shatner 108, 10:00-17:00. All books accepted until Jan. 12 at clos­ ing. Contact Mark Feldman at 8454971 for details.

Thursday. January 11 •Dr. Janet Rossant presents “Signalling pathways in the gastrulating mouse embryo,” a seminar on cancer research held by the McGill Cancer Centre. Room 903, McIntyre Medical building at 11:30.

•LBGTM holds its Women’ s Discussion Group today in Shatner 423 at 18:00.

•The Jewish Women’s circle is hav­

Fearon at 398-7432.

ing its first ultra-important, ultraexciting ‘get involved’ meeting of the term, at 19:00 at Hillel House, 3400 Stanley St. Everyone welcome.

Noshes provided.

•World University Services of Canada (WUSC) is holding a film festival, starting tonight at 19:00 in Burnside Hall, room 426, until Jan 18. This festival celebrates interna­ tional development and international awareness. There is $1 cost per movie ($3 for all 4 nights). Please contact Rhena at 286-2917.

Friday. January 12 •Last day to submit textbooks to the Used Textbook Co-op. Deadline is 17:00. See Jan 10 for more informa­ tion.

•P.R.O.B.E. (Public Research on Business Ethics) meets every Monday at 18:00 in the QPIRG office. Come and expand your aware­ ness of multi-national corporations.

•LBGTM’s Coming Out Group meets every Friday at 17:30 in the basement of UTC (3521 University), followed at 19:00 with their General Group.

Monday. January 15 •Presidential PCOC is holding a meeting today at 16:00 in Shatner 310. It is the last chance to submit a proposal regarding “Composition of Council Review” before the commit­ tee reports to SSMU. Please contact Helena Myers (Pres.) at 398-6801 or Chantal Da Silva (PCOC Chair) at 486-3757.

•Loaf Organic Food Co-op orders produce and bulk dried goods every Monday between 11:30 and 17:30 at the QPIRG office, 3647 University.

Contact Rebecca French or Melanie

•The Used Textbook Co-op opens book sales today at 10:00am. in Shatner 108. Discounted used books at low prices. Contact Mark Feldman (845-4971) for more information.

Tuesday. January 16

Former principal David Johnston, and ex-McGill Olympian swimmer Richard Pound have been appointed to the new McGill Sports Hall of Fame Committee. Comprised of four nomination cate­ gories, the newly proposed Hall of Fame will include sections for individuals, teams and builders, in addi­ tion to a special historic category for the first five years. The first inductions will be made during Homecoming Week in September, 1996.

Johnston, currently a professor in the Faculty of Law, will be the McGill faculty representative and chair of the committee, while Pound, who also serves as the vice president of the International Olympic Committee, will represent the Athletics board along with Hubert Lacroix and Peter Smith. Others on the committee include secretary Robert Dubeau (Department o f Athletics), Gael Eakin (Board of Governors), Tom Thompson (administrative staff), Dr. Ross Hill and Sally McDougall of the Alumni Association, Stephen Molson and Lome Webster of the Martlet Foundation, plus student representatives Peter Pound and Karen Brenhouse. Two research assistants, Earl “ the Pearl” Zukerman and Gerry Dubrule, were also appointed in an advisory capacity.

•WUSC continues its film festival tonight. See Jan 15 for details.

•West Side Story is about to open at McGill! Presented by Opera McGill, this show opens on Jan. 19, running through until the 22nd. Call 398-4547 for more details.

G ER T'S PUB Mon. N ov. 2 0 th

•The McGill University Photographic Society is now offering photo classes.

Visit Shatner B06 for more informa­ tion.

•The Sexual Assault Centre of McGill has support groups for both men and women. Call 398-2700, Mon.-Fri. between 9:30 and 17:30, or 398-8500 all week between 18:00 to midnight.

START TH E W EEK R IG H T !

C o m e fo r th e p r ic e s S tay fo r th e FU N !

The massive snow storm that swept the Eastern seaboard this weekend stranded the McGill Martlets basketball team as they attempted to return from a victorious sojourn in the Sunshine state. The Martlets competed in the Best Western classic in Florida and won all three of their games. In their first game the Martlets beat Georgian Court College by a score of 91-68. Anne Gildenhuys led all scorers with 24 points and 8 rebounds. Jose Deloretto added 9 points and 11 rebounds and Vicky Tessier grabbed 18 rebounds. In their second game of the tourney the Martlets beat the University of Massachusetts at Dartmouth by a score of 87-42. Gildenhuys scored 30 for the Martlets and grabbed 4 rebounds while Tessier added 16. The score of the final game is unknown but the Martlets did win. Anne Gildenhuys and Vicky Tessier were named to the tournament allstar team.

PITCHERS

T A L E N T N IG H T !

Com e on.

Yo u KN O W y o u 're c u rio u s ...

SCO REBO ARD

Martlets basketball snowed out in Orlando

E N G IN E E R IN G

•The McGill Review of Interdisciplinary Arts is searching for papers that combine two or more dis­ ciplines. Contact Mitra at 844-4907 for details.

Wednesday. January 17

Four members of the McGill women’ s rugby team were named to the 1995 all-star team for the province of Quebec. Gill Florence, Kim Ivanko, Diz Lidon and Carlene Bachiocci were the players named from the championship M cGill squad. From MacDonald College the players named to the team were Kendra Toby, Gill Drake, Sophia Evans, Debbie Stewart, and Julie Hickie.

T u e s. Nov. 21st

•Living With Loss: Bereavement Support Groups is a group for people that have suffered the loss of a family member or friend. No charge levied; the program is run through the McGill School of Social Work.

Please contact Estelle Hopmeyer at 398-7067.

•The McGill Institute for the Study of Canada holds a seminar between 16:00 and 18:00 in Leacock 219 on McGill’s proposed Hospital Centre.

M cG ill and MacDonald College top the list fo r female rugby all-stars

Four ex-Redmen football players have signed pro-football contracts. Mathieu Quivigier, JeanNicolas Lavoie, Alex Trepanier and Jerome Coulet have all signed short term deals to play football for Les Iron Masques de Cannes in France. The coach of the team is former McGill player and coach Jacques

•The Scrivener, a McGill creative review, is accepting submissions until Jan 15 for its annual compilation of Canadian literary and visual art.

Leave your works of genius in the Porter’s Office in the Arts building.

Upcoming and Ongoing

•WUSC continues its film festival tonight. See Jan. 15 for details.

Dussault. The four players all played for the Redmen for five years.

Redmen Football players sign pro contracts

•The Alley continues with jazz bands, Mon.-Thurs. at 20:00. Professional bands play Fri.-Sat. at 21:30. Located at 3480 McTavish, graced with its own side door.

•The McGill Choral Society meets again at 19:30 in C304, Strathcona.

Briefs M cG ill names members o f Hall o f Fame Committee

Page 19

PM W ed. N ov. 22nd E N G IN E E R IN G PU B

CRAWL!

Yo u d o n 't e ve n h ave to ask w h a t th is is

W

o m e n ’ s ■ •a a s ilc c - tH » **.! 1 PA PTS L PF W 139 6 217 3 0 McGill 4 1 208 210 2 Concordia 179 2 1 2 172 Laval 0 127 196 0 3 Bishop’s T l« - n ’ s ■ I r a s lt e llu a l 1 PA PTS w L PF 4 1 202 193 Bishop's 2 211 4 1 247 Concordia 2 196 4 1 213 2 McGill 0 194 256 0 3 Laval W o m e n ’s H o c k e y GA PTS T GF w L 10 48 6 1 0 Concordia 5 11 10 0 29 UQTR 5 2 6 0 16 16 4 St-Laurent 3 1 61 0 6 0 0 McGill W R e n .*» H o c k e y GF GA PTS w L T 24 0 102 45 12 3 UQTR 57 38 18 4 2 Ottawa 8 62 18 2 62 8 5 McGill 65 10 0 55 5 9 Concordia W o m e n ’s T o ll e y l a s a l 1 PF PA SW SL W L 187 377 0 21 3 Laval 8 4 357 298 2 24 7 Montreal 14 288 278 4 10 3 McGill 25 289 453 1 8 8 Sherbrooke 262 357 25 19 1 6 Concordia M e n ’s W«1 le y Im l 1 SW PF PA SL w L 387 194 24 2 8 0 Laval 272 211 4 2 13 8 Sherbrooke 252 18 216 4 3 Montreal 2

PTS 14 14 6

2 2 PTS 16 8 4

THE BEST PRICES IN THE CITT1

T h u rs . Nov. 23rd Y o u h e a rd th e r a n g Y o u fe lt t h e ^ g ^ j N o w p r e p a r e f o r th e

SH O CK T h e t h ir d c h a p t e r in t h e B IG B A N G s a s a .

F r i. Nov. 2 4 th

ILL TV

S at. Nov. 25th S N O W B O A R D IN G

PARTY It c o u ld b e yo u r fifte e n m in u te s o f fam e.

CLU B PARTY S h o u ld b e a g o o d o n e ...

INSTRUCTIONAL ATHLETICS W

I

hvl

E

R

E ffiM

COURSES OFFERED IN: •

A q u a tic s

•

F itn e s s

•

O u td o o r

•

D a n c e

•

M a r tia l

•

R a c q u e ts

•

V a r ia

Begins Wednesday, January 10,1996 08:00-18:30 hrs.

Currie Gymnasium Tomlinson Hull.

Registration will continue through Friduy, Junuury 26, 08:30-18:30 hrs.

Office G-35

P u r s u its

Most Courses begin the week of Monday, January 15, 1996.

N F O :

3 9 8 - 7 0 1

BUY YOUR TEX TBO O KS FOR LESS

SELL YOUR TEXTBO O KS FOR MORE u jE p m sn m co-o p

s s M iy

W / / /ia m

R

J S

J

e

a

c

e

m

E

i

u

v

n

g

T

r

y

b

i

a n

T

g

a n u a r y

R e t u r n i n g

J H o u r s :

a n 1 a

$ $

2 9 - F

A . M . -

5

e

e

x

t

b

o

o

k

s

S h a tn e r U n i v e r s i t y

e

o

C e n t r e

r

- 1

x

t

b

o

o

k

s

l s - l s a n d

U n s o l d

B o o k s :

e b

R .M .

S H A TM E R

1 O B

V I S A/l N T E R A C

r