The Health of Wellness

BY MEREDITH BOWER

Prior to the COVID-19 pandemic, a nationwide spike in student stress, anxiety, and depression propelled children’s mental health and wellness into the spotlight.

When the pandemic came out of nowhere, virtual learning, health concerns, uncertainty, isolation, separation, and media coverage exacerbated what students were feeling. It also confirmed the need for what McDonogh was doing—making mental health and wellness a top priority.

Since becoming Head of School in 2018, Dave Farace ’87’s commitment to wellness—not just for students but also for faculty and staff—has gone beyond words and is visible in every division. He prioritized additional counseling services and learning support and immediately set schoolwide goals to focus more attention on a coordinated PK-12 program to address well-being from a variety of angles as an integral part of LifeReady programming.

Removing the Stigma of Mental Health

Another new face on campus in 2018 was Michael Green, LCSW-C, who was brought on to be the Upper School Counselor. Four years later, Green is now the Director of Counseling and is responsible for coordinating the efforts of his department, which has grown to include a dedicated counselor in both the Lower and Middle Schools and two additional Upper School counselors.

Passionate about prevention and early intervention, Green has more than two decades of experience working with school-age kids. “This is my thing. I connect with kiddos. I educate them to reduce the stigma of mental health,” he says.

The counselors are a big presence in each division. They “push” into the classrooms, get to know the students, and explain what they do. It is a core part of ultimately getting students help when needed.

Students quickly learn that the counselors are supportive professionals who work to generate solution-focused ideas to improve the quality of their academic experience. In other words, Green says, “Counseling services are part of overall health and development. If a kid has a twisted ankle, they see the trainer; if they have a scraped elbow, they go to the infirmary; if they have a bad breakup or are stressing about a test, they see the counselors. Kids feel comfortable seeing us because we have removed the stigma.”

Green uses a tiered framework to illustrate how the school supports students. For 80 percent of the population, setting expectations, teaching skills for success, and providing a positive foundation are sufficient. However, some students need additional guidance from a counselor, and a handful of others benefit from outside support.

He says, “Our goal is to educate kids early by saturating them with coping skills, goal-setting skills, and healthy communication skills, so they can navigate challenges when they are faced with them.”

“I joke with students that I am ‘Mr. Hope,’” says the affable Green. It’s hope that fuels his desire to help students and adults understand mental health care, to learn how to cope with stressful situations, and to seek help when needed. “As we all move down the road of pandemic recovery, I truly hope that everyone will speak more openly about their mental health and take the steps to get the support that is needed,” he encourages.

Wearing green in support of children’s mental awareness, Director of Counseling Michael Green, LCSW-C (left) is joined by Counseling Department colleagues (left to right): Sarah Ross, Intern; Brenna LaRose, LCPC (Middle School); Caitlin Cork, LCSW-C (Upper School); Jasmine Crandol, LGPC (Upper School); and Dan Wagner, Psy.D. (Lower School).

Coordinating Schoolwide Wellness

At the same time the counseling department was growing, Farace assembled a task force to review the school’s wellness education classes. They were charged with assessing the strengths and needs and outlining the next steps in developing a coordinated, all-school, holistic healthy living program. The group recommended hiring a full-time Wellness Director to align the current programs and enhance the wellness curricula—someone who would understand the complexities of the school and have the ability to shift between “boots on the ground” and big-picture perspectives.

In the spring of 2021, Nancy Love ’81 was named the school’s first full-time Director of Wellness. No stranger to McDonogh, Love is a member of the Class of 1981, she is a parent of two alumni, and over the past 18 years she has held various titles, including Sophomore Dean, Associate Head of Upper School, Director of Boarding, Varsity Lacrosse Coach, and Advisor to the Rollins-Luetkemeyer Leaders program. Her experience, combined with her credentials—a Master of Education in School Counseling and a National Certified Counselor—uniquely qualify her for the Wellness position.

Director of Wellness Nancy Love ’81

“I feel at peace. I feel like I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be. I’ve come full circle with so much more understanding and awareness,” says Love, explaining, “All of these experiences bring me a deeper understanding of what people are going through.” She adds that her perspective as a McDonogh alumna and past parent drives what she does. “When I work with a student, I feel like I’m working with my child. It’s important to me to get it right.”

Like Green, Love is taking a proactive approach to wellness by focusing on prevention through ageappropriate wellness programming. While she is not starting from scratch, she is keenly aware that there is much work to be done. “We are a diverse community, and we have a responsibility to meet the needs of all our students,” she says, adding, “Times have changed, and we need to be responsive to that. It’s not about coddling kids, it’s about teaching them to be creative problem-solvers and critical thinkers. We don’t just want them to be successful, we want them to have the resources to thrive.”

Using the whiteboards in the LifeReady suite on the second floor of Allan Building, Love, in collaboration with the LifeReady team, is mapping out an age-appropriate PK-12 structure by pulling from evidence-based programs and information such as the Maryland Comprehensive Health Framework. Her goal is to develop an integrated approach to wellness so that students may lead lives of balance, purpose, and whole-person well-being.

Members of the LifeReady team (from left): Aisha Bryant, Kevin Costa, Hilary McDonough, Nancy Love ’81, Enaye Englenton, and Bridget Collins ’90 discuss how wellness and LifeReady work together.

Armed with colored markers and Post-its, she is methodically customizing a program for McDonogh that is aligned with national standards, state standards, and various evidence-based programs in areas such as self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, relationship skills, self-efficacy, and physical wellness. Then she goes the extra step by explaining what the standard, such as responsible decision making, should look like for a first grader versus an upper schooler by defining the skills and competencies for each.

As Love aligns McDonogh’s wellness efforts with counseling and builds the framework for the school, she is also drawing from the current programs and curricula in all three divisions. In Lower School, the values-based Cultivating Character program’s monthly themes are discussed during homeroom meeting times and shared again when teachable moments arise. In Middle School, Love and wellness teacher George Webb focus on topics from self-awareness and responsible decision-making to puberty, healthy relationships, and social media. The Freshman Wellness Practice course (see page 11) takes a deeper dive into these topics and more, and in the sophomore year, all students continue to add tools to their toolbox to achieve a healthy balance in their busy lives. Upper schoolers also benefit from targeted programming, such as Sophomore Stay Safe Night, understanding healthy relationships sessions through the One Love Foundation, and a practical Transition to College program for seniors.

Love is embracing the opportunity to create a structure for the wellness program in conjunction with the other campus support systems. To her, it is the final puzzle piece of LifeReady. “Wellness makes LifeReady complete,” she says. “Healthy minds are better learners. That’s the foundation of success. We’re simply trying to teach kids to take care of themselves in order to thrive in school and in life.

Peer educator Mikey Markels ’23 and eighth graders discuss the film Like

MAKING HEALTHY CONNECTIONS THROUGH PEER EDUCATION

“I’m a major procrastinator,” senior Mikey Markels confessed to a group of eighth graders. “Just last night, I had English homework to do and it was already late. Then, I scrolled on Instagram for an hour, but I still hadn’t started my homework. By the time I finished and went to bed, it was after midnight.” He quickly added, “Don’t do that. That’s bad.”

Mikey, one of nearly 100 peer educators in the junior and senior classes, used himself as an example in an effort to connect with the younger students who had just finished watching Like, an eye-opening film about social media and why it is so irresistible. “Being honest about my own experience as a high school senior resonates with them. I made it clear that I need to do better, so hopefully, they learned something,” Mikey says. Learning from someone they look up to is precisely the goal of McDonogh’s Peer Education program. This fall, having completed a daylong orientation, the peer educators were paired with a seventh- or eighth-grade advisory. Then, each month after a brief training period, the older students meet with the middle schoolers to discuss a film on a topic relevant to both groups. In October, the discussion followed the movie Angst. The role of the peer educators is to initiate a conversation with the younger students using prompts provided by program coordinator, Nancy Love.

Aneel Ahuja ’23, one of the other three educators in the advisory with Mikey, says he signed up for the opportunity because he remembers the peer educators being helpful when he was in Middle School. Looking at the relationship from a new perspective he says, “They feel comfortable talking to us. They see us as friends.”

Later in the year, the peer educators will meet with middle schoolers to discuss the last film in the series: The Race to be Human. In the meantime, both groups look forward to bumping into each other on campus.

Lower schoolers color in a banner featuring one of the themes of the Cultivating Character program.

WELLNESS STARTS EARLY WITH CULTIVATING CHARACTER

In Lower School, students learn about values, such as advocating for self and others, developing empathy, and practicing mindfulness during homeroom meeting times and through age-appropriate literature, monthly chapel gatherings, and assemblies. The themes are reinforced when children apply the lessons in their everyday lives as teachable moments arise.

TRY FIVE-FINGER BREATHING TO REBOOT YOUR BRAIN

Five-finger breathing, popularized by Dr. Jud Brewer, is a simple, multisensory exercise that helps focus breathing, and reduce anxiety, worry, and other negative emotions.

• Hold one hand in front of you, fingers spread.

• Slowly trace the outside of your hand with the index finger on your other hand, breathing in when you trace up a finger and out when you trace down.

• Move up and down all five fingers. When you’ve traced your whole hand, reverse direction and do it again.

Freshmen Zach Johnson and Xavier Lester settle into their Wellness class like snow settling in a globe.

FRESHMAN WELLNESS BEGINS AND ENDS WITH A CLEAR MIND

When freshmen arrive in the large and cozy L-shaped room in the basement of Allan Building for their wellness class, they usually have a lot on their minds. Maybe it’s a math test they took in the previous period, a soccer game later in the day, or something they saw on social media.

Michelle Kriebel, who has been teaching Freshman Wellness for almost 10 years, understands that the students are coming into her space from different places and that it’s important to take the time at the beginning of the period to help them clear their minds so that they can be present for her lesson. To demonstrate what the first few minutes of her class can feel like, she picks up a snow globe and shakes it vigorously. Just as the flakes inside the globe eventually settle, so do her students. To aid in the transition from stormy to calm, she begins each class with a few simple breathing exercises to focus her students’ minds and bodies.

Fresh Start

The Freshman Wellness program is designed to give students information, resources, and tools they can draw upon during Upper School and beyond. Kriebel’s class is just one part of the program. During the first two months of the school year, the ninth graders also benefit from a weekly seminar-like orientation called Fresh Start in which they are introduced to different elements of the Upper School and the many resources available to them. They learn who the counselors are and how to seek support, gain an understanding of the Honor Code, learn how Greatest Good McDonogh is an integral part of the school, hear from the Learning Specialists about the academic support available, and discover ways to become involved with campus life. Wellness lab, another feature of the program, provides an opportunity for freshmen to move and connect with peers during the school day, outside of the traditional classroom and athletic teams.

Jansen Craig, Colin Harris, Harris Gordon, and Autumn Fleary enjoy fun and games during Freshman Wellness lab.

Kriebel is responsible for focusing on health and safety themes that freshmen want and need to know about, providing them with strategies to make thoughtful and informed decisions. Topics range from alcohol and substance abuse to healthy relationships, social media use, and self-advocacy. “Kids are trying to figure their way through things, and I try to meet them where they are,” Kriebel says, noting it’s one more important layer of being life-ready. “If we are teaching how to write, paint, and understand mathematical theories, it’s important for students to understand what self-awareness is, what emotional regulation is, and what it means to be in connection with and around other people.”

Relatable Lessons

Relaxed and sitting on the floor in a circle, Kriebel begins the lesson. Over the next 70 minutes, she will take her students on a carefully curated journey using the many different ways they learn. To pique their interest and hold their attention, she blends “test your knowledge” questions with thoughtprovoking facts, interactive activities, movement, and a playlist of songs that apply to the topic.

In her lesson on the importance of sleep and what good sleep hygiene looks like, she gives relatable reasons for why it’s important to devote eight hours of their day to it. “Sleep is not a waste of time. It helps with creativity, memory, and emotional regulation,” she says, illustrating her point with interesting anecdotes. Then, with Simon and Garfunkel’s “Sounds of Silence” playing softly in the background, she asks them to consider, “What gets in our society’s way? What gets in your way of getting the sleep we need?”

Kriebel moves the discussion along with an interactive quiz, each question introduced with a song about sleep related to that question. Information about melatonin and the importance of light is choreographed to a snippet of The Weeknd’s hit song “Blinding Lights.” After explaining how cell phones and other devices are disruptive to restorative sleep, she says, “We treat our phones better than ourselves. We plug them in at night to charge them but don’t do that for ourselves. Sleep is our recharging station.”

Toward the end of the class, she hands out a checklist she calls Xxxxxs for Zzzzzzs and asks her students to put an X next to everything they do to get the sleep they deserve. Then Kriebel asks, “Is there one thing on the list that you don’t currently do that you could try this week?”

She ends the session teaching a breathing technique to help them relax at night—a tool she hopes they will add to their wellness toolbox. By the end of class, students are on their backs on yoga mats, practicing a relaxing stretch, lights off, listening to the sound of silence.

Whether Kriebel is talking about substance abuse, social media, or sleep, she knows some information may not be immediately relevant to the freshmen. She points to a string of three large incandescent light bulbs hanging above her shoulder. She says, “They are a symbol of hope that with each class, something from the topic and our discussion will click and light up, and they will think, ‘That makes sense’ or ‘I never thought of it that way,’ or ‘I could try that to help me navigate my life.’”

10 TIPS TO GET THE SLEEP YOU DESERVE

1. During the day, get at least 10-15 minutes of natural light outside or by a window.

2. Avoid watching TV, eating, and discussing emotional issues in bed.

3. Set your phone clock to a bedtime alarm to remind you to go to sleep.

4. Go to bed and wake up at the same time every day. Staying up late on the weekends is social jet lag.

5. At night, turn your screen to black and white and place your phone on bedtime mode to silence notifications. Alarms and important calls can still get through, but everything else can wait until morning.

6. Develop a pre-sleep ritual or routine to break the connection between all the day’s stress and bedtime. Rituals can include powering down from tech, reading something light, meditating, taking a hot bath or shower, changing into comfortable clothes, and practicing gratitude.

7. Do not take your phone into bed with you.

8. Avoid sleeping with a pet.

9. If you wake in the middle of the night to use the bathroom, keep the room as dark as is safely possible. Don’t turn on a bright light or check your phone.

10. Don’t hit “snooze” over and over in the morning. As soon as you get up, open the blinds or curtains to let in natural light.

Director of Human Resouces Janet Graham stands with members of the Transportation Department after giving them bags filled with items that provide comfort and care.

TAKING CARE OF FACULTY AND STAFF

Taped to the wall in Janet Graham’s office is a permission slip. It’s a reminder that everyone who works at McDonogh—faculty, staff, and administrators—has permission to work hard, but not so hard that they don’t have anything left for themselves or their families. They have to find balance.

Balance isn’t easy when they are juggling their personal and professional lives and everything that goes along with each. As Director of Human Resources, it’s Graham’s job to educate employees and provide wellness tools to help alleviate stress, so they can be happy and productive, and do what they are passionate about—educating children.

In her role, Graham not only helps employees understand their health insurance and retirement benefits, but she also encourages participation in a variety of preventative wellness offerings from fitness challenges and nutrition education to smoking cessation support. And when they are faced with stressful life transitions, she connects employees and their household members with experts in the Employee Assistance Program (EAP) who offer in-themoment support to help with personal or professional problems that may interfere with work or family responsibilities.

But it’s the extra wellness features that she coordinates that really make a difference for faculty and staff, and ultimately for students. Beyond arranging biometric screenings for physical wellness, Graham arranges retirement seminars with financial planners and sessions featuring speakers on topics such as navigating Medicare to provide informational resources to employees as they engage in planning for their futures.

“Wellness is not just physical,” she says. “It’s holistic, which includes emotional and mental health, being involved in a community, doing good for other people, and looking at your current and future financial circumstances— making sure you are taking steps to ensure you are not facing financial stress as you get older.”

As a result of her efforts and employee participation in the five essential areas of well-being—purpose, social, financial, physical, and community—as stated by the Association of Independent Maryland and DC Schools (AIMS) WellEducated program, McDonogh has earned an “A” rating for the past five years. This designation qualifies the school for grant money to further support employees and show gratitude for all they do. Graham has used a portion of the funds to create employee appreciation bags that she fills with snacks and items that encourage being active, and at the same time, support the school’s sustainability goals.

“We recognize that people have been through a lot in the past few years and the faculty have shown significant resilience while taking care of the kids,” Graham says. “The bags are a fun way to show appreciation and provide a little care and comfort for the adults in our community.”

HOW TO HAVE HEALTHY AND EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR KIDS

BY MICHAEL GREEN, LCSW-C

Don’t trap your kid in the car and try to have meaningful conversations after practice or after school. They have nowhere to run. They are not in control. They press their head up against the window and put ear pods in. They are transitioning from heavy stuff: academics, sports, and social life. Even on the bus, they have to keep their social mask on. Give them time to recover and reset. Don’t push in on them.

PARENTS AN IMPORTANT PIECE OF THE PUZZLE

Parent education goes hand-in-hand with student wellness, and the administrative team and the McDonogh Parents Association (MPA) are committed to hosting a variety of parent education events on an ongoing basis. The counseling team also regularly shares helpful information and tips in parent newsletters on topics from “the Sunday scaries” to resilience. Additionally, the MPA, in conjunction with the Wellness Department, is screening a series of films and hosting discussions on key areas impacting society today. Angst (the prevalence of anxiety worldwide), Like (the impact and addictiveness of social media), and The Upstanders (bullying and the brain science behind it) have been well-received by parents and students and offer opportunities for connection and conversation. The fourth film in the series, Human (impact of race and racism on mental health), will be shown this spring.

McDonogh also remains committed to hosting professional speakers, and in March, parents will have an opportunity to attend an on-campus presentation by Julie Lythcott-Haims, New York Times bestselling author of How to Raise an Adult She will speak on the topic “How to Raise Successful Kids Without Overparenting.”

Plans are currently underway for the 2023-2024 Parent Education series!