But where are you REALLY from?

You're at a party and you meet someone new who seems a little different from yourself. You're curious about their cultural background, and are tempted to ask: "Where are you from?"

Sound familiar?

While you might not hesitate to ask the question, because you mean well, asking where someone is from (or worse, where they're "really from") is both loaded and personal.

It's a query with deeper implications about how we perceive race, identity and nationality in a country where half the population was either born overseas or has migrant parents.

It's also a question that people of colour, and anyone with an accent, is likely to be asked often.

Take a moment to reflect before asking

Soumia Bella grew up in Sydney's Bondi and says she's asked where she's from at least three times a week — and more frequently when she's socialising with new people.

"It's just that when you ask someone that, you're prioritising your curiosity over someone else's feelings," Soumia says.

"Reflect on who you are asking, and why you need to know the information … would you ask your white mate?" she says.

If you want to ask somebody about their family background, here are some pointers:

• Get to know the person before you ask

• Wait for the topic to surface organically

• Watch your wording

• Accept the answer you're given and move on if the question is unwelcome

• Understand that each person will react differently to the question

This is an excerpt from ABC Everyday's article 'Where are you really from?': How to navigate this question of race and identity by Luke Wong. Read the full article here: https://www.abc.net.au/ everyday/where-are-you-really-from-how-to-better-ask-race-question/10610346