07.39 The Food Issue, March 25, 2004, Volume 7, Issue 39, MauiTime

WWW.MAUITIME.COM

MARCH 25

2004

VOLUME 7

ISSUE 39

FREE

5 ‘WAR IS OBSOLETE’ Says Maui’s peaceniks

27 FRACTURED FAIRY TALE Into the Woods at the Iao Theater

42 HOLOHOLO GIRL Tells Viking tales

THE

food issue 2004

LOCALS ONLY!!

(Proudly Serving Locally Grown, All Natural Beef From Maui Cattle Company & Maui-made Premium Ice Cream From Roselani Ice Cream )

FREE ICE CREAM Buy any Maui Cattle Company Beef entree (burger, steak, fajitas, etc.) and receive a FREE hot fudge sundae made with Roselani Ice Cream. Please present coupon to your server prior to ordering and a valid Hawaii ID. Not valid with any other offers or discounts. Offer valid at Hard Rock Maui and good until May 15, 2004.

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MARCH 25, 2004

CONTENTS VOLUME 7 • ISSUE 39

THE FOOD ISSUE 10 Breakfast 14 Lunch 18 Dinner LOCAL NEWS 5 ‘War is Obsolete’ 8 The Fat of the Land

Lingerie & Nightwear

Compiled by Sam Campos, Anthony Pignataro and Jen Russo

Is peace even possible anymore?

by Anthony Pignataro

289

$

A Blend of Beauty, Quality & Price

PER MONTH*

Mmm... food issue! - P. 10 02 DODGE GRAND CARAVAN SPORT

Brazilian Designs

7 PASS., AIR, PS, PW, TILT CRUISE #25H 25H Selling price 13995, 500 down cash or trade.

289 per month (60 months) 8% APR @ RHB O.A.C.

DEPARTMENTS

Can America survive being supersized?

by Joshua Cooper

4 LETTERS TO THE EDITOR

Big Sale

169

$

on ALL Lingerie

PER MONTH*

OP ED 9 Spanish Lie

4 EH BRAH!

Bikinis from $25!

99 FORD ESCORT 2X2 AIR, PS, PW, PREMIUM WHEELS #19H

5 LC WATCH

Three years after 9/11, our fibber keeps his job

by Ted Rall

19H Selling price 6995, 500 down cash or trade.

169 per month (48 months) 9% APR @ RHB O.A.C.

SO LD

6 COCONUT WIRELESS

DINING 23Better Than Sex

148

$

6 OVERHEARD...

The top ten desserts of Maui

by Sam Campos and Amy Burris

Come See Our New Location at

Queen Ka’ahumanu Center

PER MONTH*

7 NEWS OF THE WEIRD

A&E 27Fractured Fairy Tale Into the Woods at the Iao Theater

by Anthony Pignataro

8 TIDES & TIMES

01 SATURN SL-1 SEDAN

(Upstairs near theatres)

AIR, PS, TILT WHEEL #10H

Mon-Sat 9:30am-9pm Sun 10am-5pm

10H Selling price 5995, 500 down cash or trade.

149 per month (48 months) 9% APR @ RHB O.A.C.

24 DINING LISTINGS

FILM CRITIQUE 28We’re A Happy Family

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed ( )

by Cole Smithey

DAY&NIGHT 29 Movie Capsules & Times 30 this week’s picks 32 Da Kine Calendar 33 The Grid

227

$ 39 PERSONALS

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40 CLASSIFIED LISTINGS

01 HYUNDAI TIBURON 5 SPD., AIR, LEATHER, MUCH MORE #62H 62H Selling price 10995, 500 down cash or trade.

227 per month (60 months) 8% APR @ RHB O.A.C.

41 KOZMIC BREEZE 42 HOLOHOLO GIRL

199

$

PER MONTH*

44 BACK SIDE

MODEL: JULIE COVER PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

02 PONTIAC SUNFIRE SE

COVER DESIGN: RUDI KING

AIR, POWER, TILT, CD #1H

MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761

01H Selling price 9695, 500 down cash or trade.

199 per month (60 months) 8% APR @ RHB O.A.C.

office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

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199

$ Production Assistants: Debbie Belle, Wendy Higa

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com

Director of Advertising: Jeff Onderko jeff@mauitime.com

Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com Contributing Writers: Amy Burris, Joshua Cooper, Koz McKev, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther Interns: Kellie Holliday, Jaime Jackson Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com

Display Account Executive: Katy Leahey katy@mauitime.com Classified Advertising: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2004 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

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03 DODGE STRATUS AIR, PS, PW, TILT/CRUISE #7H

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'LJLWDO &KDQQHO

7H Selling price 9695, 500 down cash or trade.

199 per month (60 months) 8% APR @ RHB O.A.C. *Payments include tax, Lic. & $195.00 doc. fee

ASK US ABOUT BUY, SELL & CONSIGNMENT Chevron Highway 30 Prudential Maui Realtor

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Circulation: 11,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

LETTERS

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Papalaua Street

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com

First Hawaiian Bank (Honoapiilani Hwy)

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D A Y S !

LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR WATCHING THE WATCH So are you guys beating up on bars now whose only crime is that they got rolled by the LC? (“LC Watch,” Mar. 18). There are serious issues out there, and you go doing the LC’s job for them. You heaped abuse at good workers whose only crime was getting the shaft. Very nice.

-Anonymous, via email Anthony Pignataro responds: I’m going to be generous and simply assume that you didn’t really read my story as carefully as you should have, and what we have here is merely a small misunderstanding. Take a look at the column title again—it’s called “LC Watch,” thereby implying that I will be keeping a sort of “watch” over the immensely powerful Maui County Department of Liquor Control. The LC enforces the county liquor laws, and it does so on occasion in a way that some people—like you, I’m assuming—might find rather petty. You see, I come from the school of thought that says the best way to explain the inner workings of a department that pretty much polices itself is to show, in sometimes graphic detail, what they do. That column was based entirely on records the LC generates—they’re the ones who busted Dick’s Place for leaving three letters out of a guy’s first name on a timecard, not me.

WORRIED ABOUT EDITOR’S INCOME “Maui” radio reached an all time low (Coconut Wireless, Feb. 26)? Two thirds of the stations you mentioned are Oahu radio.

Do they pay you for this “journalism?”

-Caress Viernes, via email Anthony Pignataro responds: Forgive me for referring to stations that are physically located on Oahu but transmit to Maui as “radio on Maui.” It seemed like a good idea at the time.

YOU’RE WELCOME A hearty thank you to Anthony Pignataro and Ted Rall for their articles on Dennis

Kucinich (“Wither Dennis Kucinich?” Feb. 26) and Impeaching George W. Bush (“Ken Starr, Call Your Office,” Feb. 26). I liked the thing about conscripting corporations and capital for war!

It’s great to have newspapers that delve into ideas and provide contexts, rather than just reporting the news bites of the day.

-Rich Zubaty, Wailuku

GENETICALLY MODIFIED RESPONSE In response to the response of the person responding about supporting GMOs to “find some way to feed the world” (Letters, Mar. 11), the technology is already here and we have enough food right now to feed the world!!!

BUT our rich societies would rather feed it to cows and other animals so that they can then eat the cows and other animals. Reducing meat production by just 10 percent in the U.S. would free enough grain to feed 60 million people.

It takes 4.8 pounds of grain, fed to cattle, to produce one pound of beef. There are many other reasons for giving up meat, besides feeding the world, better health, lower cost, environmental protection, preventing cruelty to animals, etc... SO being a vegetarian is the obvious choice for any intelligent conscious person who gives a shit. But besides feeding the world, we also need to find a way to put a condom on it.

-Pam Wolf, Haiku Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar— that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI 96761) or fax (808-661-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This is to the nasty old fart who thinks he’s so cool riding around on the hog without baffles in the tail pipes, busting eardrums as he rides. You wake up the whole neighborhood day and night and all of them hate your stupid ass for doing it. It’s a wonder you have done well in your life when you value high school crap like that. We hope your landlord kicks your sorry ass out for being such a jerk. Most people know the volume of your bike reflects the depth of your midlife crises—boy, do you need to see a shrink real bad. Get this: most women probably think you’re lousy in bed. You’re a fake in leather gear pretending to be a bad ass but it only makes you look like a joke. It’s hilarious that you think you’re cool, but everybody else you’re just an old fool.

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MARCH 25, 2004

NEWS

LOCALNEWS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

LC Watch

‘War is Obsolete’ Is peace even possible anymore?

AIDS Takes its Toll

PHOTO: US ARMY

Looks bad to us too, soldier There were about 50 people lining Ka’ahumanu Ave. in front of the mall, a lot more than usual but far less than when the Hawaiian people went out to protest widening ethnic enrollment at the Kamehameha Schools. Many were in dark blue Dennis Kucinich for President shirts.

Some carried rather militant signs saying things like “He lied, they died” and “Liberate Palestine and all oppressed peoples.” Others went a softer route with “Peace is Priceless” and, on one piece of cardboard, “Will work for Peace.” Old standards like “Who would Jesus Bomb?” and “War is Obsolete” were there, too.

The people standing in front of the Queen Ka’ahumanu Center on the afternoon of Mar. 20 and waving at those cars that honked as they drove past were Maui’s contribution to a global series of demonstrations making the first anniversary of the U.S. invasion of Iraq. Every big American city saw people take to the streets. Overseas, thousands of people in Rome, London, Tokyo and, of all places, Baghdad, called for an end to the military occupation of Iraq.

Is it any wonder? For the last three years, the U.S. has assumed an unprecedented warlike posture.

That same day, insurgents shot down an American helicopter in Iraq, though both pilots escaped uninjured. Elsewhere, soldiers and Iraqi policemen and civilians continued to die from drive-by shootings, roadside bombs and suicide attacks. It

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was, for those who follow Iraq with any regularity, simply another day of violence.

But as people called for peace across the world, former United Nations inspector Hans Blix and International Atomic Energy Agency official Mohamed ElBaradei—so vilified by Washington before the war as Saddam Hussein’s patsies for saying Iraq possessed no “weapons of mass destruction”—began making their expected media rounds denouncing the war as a callous, thoroughly unnecessary war of aggression.

Less well reported has been the reaction of Iraqi National Congress leader Ahmed Chalabi to news that Iraq possessed no nuclear, biological or chemical weapons. In the years before the war, it was Chalabi and his “defectors” who fed a steady stream of “intelligence” concerning supposed Iraqi weapons programs into Washington, fanning the flames of a new U.S. invasion long before 2001—intelligence that has since proven completely false.

“We are heroes in error,” Chalabi told Britain’s Daily Telegraph last month. “As far as we’re concerned we’ve been entirely successful… What was said before is not important.”

Aside from gas attacks launched during the Iran-Iraq war, weapons of minimal destruction have killed the majority of people in war during the last century. And in that arena, the U.S. has since the end of the Cold War stood as the world’s preeminent arms dealer.

Despite President George W. Bush’s rhetoric about the world being split into two camps— terrorists and those who oppose terror—the U.S. has a habit of selling or giving weapons to

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regimes that oppress their own citizens.

Currently, the Pentagon is preparing to transfer tank parts, armor-piercing rounds and missiles to Egypt, machine guns to Colombia—along with over a billion dollars in U.S. military aid and an unknown number of private military contractors—$4 million worth of “articles” and “services” to Georgia, Blackhawk helicopters and F-16 parts to Jordan and TOW missiles to Saudi Arabia.

Huge arms transfers are also pending to both India and Pakistan—two nations that have been at each other’s throats for decades.

These sales notwithstanding, U.S. military policy since the Sept. 11 terrorist attacks has steadily taken on an imperial tone.

“The policy has involved not just resorting to military action, or the threat of action, but constructing an arc of new facilities in such places as Uzbekistan, Pakistan, Qatar and Djibouti that the Pentagon calls ‘lily pads,’ reported James Sterngold in the Mar. 21 San Francisco Chronicle. “They are seen not merely as a means of defending the host countries— the traditional Cold War role of such installations—but as jumping-off points for future ‘preventive wars’ and military missions.”

All of the above is easy to denounce, but not so easy to reverse. Considering that Democratic presidential nominee John Kerry voted for the Iraqi invasion, this country’s predisposition to war is unlikely to end even if Bush loses his control over the Oval Office. MTW

The following tale comes to you directly from recently released files of the Maui County Department of Liquor Control. No names have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty or merely imbibed.

ESTABLISHMENT

Hapa’s Nightclub, Kihei

DATE

Nov. 1, 2003

TIME

2:08 a.m.

VIOLATION

08-101-25(a)(1): Hours For Sale, Service and Consumption of Liquor in Licensed Premises 08-101-23(j): Special Conditions

LC OFFICERS

John McMurray, David Olsten

REPORT

It’s tough to say exactly how many patrons were milling about Hapa’s past its 2:00 a.m. closing time. McMurray noted “about 100” people while his partner Olsten said there were only “several.” But they both agreed that “the music was very loud.”

Interestingly enough, neither officer saw anyone drinking. “This writer noted that there is no liquor being consumed and all liquor behind the bar is covered and out of view,” reported McMurray. The officer then considered shooting photos to document the alleged illegal activities, but decided against it, perceiving “that taking a photo may have caused an unfavorable reaction from the patrons.”

McMurray reported that owner/manager Gustav Hoeft “stated he had no excuse” for being open. But Olsten found the real culprit behind the after-hours alcohol-free fun: “[Hoeft] related that persons from the Maui AIDS Foundation had asked him to remain open [for a benefit show] and he agreed.” Olsten then added that Hoeft said he “was going to remain open until 4:00 a.m. even though he did not have a permit to do so.”

Needless to say, such behavior brought two violations—the 25(a)(1) for being a restaurant or club open outside the hours of “8:00 a.m. to 2:00 a.m., the following day” and the 23(j) for having “music, dancing and entertainment… later than the hours during which a licensed premises may be open for the transaction for the sale, service and consumption of liquor.” On Feb. 5 of this year, the Liquor Control Adjudication Board fined Hoeft $2,000 for his actions.

ASSESSMENT

None of us are truly safe from dreaded AIDS.

—Anthony Pignataro

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LOCALNEWS

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

MONDAY, MAR. 15 Those all-important polls that pols swear by say with surprising consistency that most Maui residents are concerned that the island needs more actual, codified, bonified affordable housing. That madcap Kent Smith of Smith Development even tried to fast track his Puamana Village in South Lahaina as “affordable,” though it really wasn’t. But now the powerful Maui Land and Pineapple Company is moving into the affordable housing racket with Pulelehua, a 150-acre residential area that will, in the words of the company, “surround” Kapalua Airport north of Lahaina. A double-sided single-page glossy brochure from the company recently distributed to westsiders says the project will include “125 permanent affordable rental units.” Of course, the brochure says a lot of things. For instance, the word “community” appears in the brief brochure 37 times.

Twelve of those mentions occur in a short endorsement from Maui County mayor Alan Arakawa. “The County of Maui is committed to quality community planning,” wrote Arakawa, “so your participation is both not only welcomed and encouraged, but vital to our community’s long-term visioning.”

The brochure also included three separate uses of the word “holistic,” and a variety of other touchy-feely phrases like “harmony with nature,” “authentic sense of place” and “public/private partnership” in separate statements ostensibly written by company CEO David C. Cole and Land Planning and Development vice president Bob McNatt. The scariest thing in the brochure?

A map of the area with the words “future phases” printed over the huge swaths of agricultural land that stretch from the airport into the West Maui Mountains.

TUESDAY, MAR. 16 The Maui News reports that three civilian contractors for Parsons-UXB Joint

Venture “suffered minor injuries” yesterday in an explosion on Kahoolawe. The U.S. Navy, which hired Parsons to clean up old bombs and such that are lying around, said the men were “cutting and crushing ordnance to convert it to scrap metal” when the works blew up. Cutting and crushing? Look, I don’t want to tell these guys how to do their jobs, but the words “crushing” and “ordnance” don’t usually appear in the same sentence for a reason… Speaking of The Maui News, they’re developing quite a respect for irony. Take today’s paper, for instance. On Page A3, just a couple inches away from the Kahoolawe explosion story is a piece on how Krispy Kreme Doughnuts in Kahului will hold a child safety seat inspection in a few days. The shop will be giving out free doughnuts by the dozen to parents who agree to have their, um, seats inspected. But flip a few pages into the paper to A11 and you’ll see an excerpt of a Seattle Times editorial on the obesity epidemic that’s plaguing this nation.

Headlined “Death by 1,000 doughnuts,” the story says “poor diet and physical inactivity” are fast becoming the leading cause of death for Americans. The solution? “Banning junk food and soda pop in schools is an obvious place to start.”

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 17 Today is Saint Patrick’s Day, the day I believe everyone is supposed to wear orange to commemorate Great Britain’s rich history of cracking Irish heads. Hey, just kidding. I think that all reasonable people can agree that there’s a downside to bombing innocent civilians and state-sponsored torture. Anyway, the Irish are great. I personally use Irish Spring soap at least once a day, though I stop short of shaving off a slice each morning with my pocketknife and proclaiming “Clean as a whistle!”… Speaking of mindless destruction, in its February 2004 issue Hawaii Business magazine all but advocates scrapping the 1961 law that created the state’s Land Use Commission (LUC). “Is it time to take a fresh look at Hawaii’s land-use process, and reevaluate our assumptions about what consti-

OVERHEARD...

“THEY’VE GOT GREEN BALLS!” -Guy talking to his pals, the Sly Mongoose, Mar. 16

use power to county councilmembers. If you think ag land’s been disappearing at an alarming rate now, wait until the day when developers will only have to secure five of nine council votes.

THURSDAY, MAR. 18 Hey, is the county council Planning and Land Use Committee still kicking around that Makena thing? You know, that monster plan to put a monster resort at Makena Beach?

Yeah. Big news at the hearing today was that the State Historic Preservation Division decided to issue a small correction— rather than finding that the proposed Waileasized resort would have “no effect” on cultural sites, the Division has found that, in fact, it has no real idea what cultural sites actually exist on the site. Oh. But have no fear—Makena Resort has already said they’ll “go beyond” whatever preservation requests come down from the state. Wow. What were they going to say? Gee, that’s a shame about that ancient Hawaiian village, really it is, but that’s where we’re going to put the spa and exercise gym.

Okay, that’s not fair. The resort developers have made a big deal out of how they’re deferring to the Hawaiian elders at Na Kupuna O Maui on site preservation. Of course, what no one’s really explaining is that though Na Kupuna gets to care for the cultural sites, it’s Makena Resort that decides what’s “cultural” in the first place. Mmmmm… power.

FRIDAY, MAR. 19 tutes appropriate land planning?” asks HB writer Jacy L. Youn. “The answer is a resounding, Yes.” Youn goes on to use buzzwords like “redundancies” and “excess,” even describing the LUC at one point as “the state’s cumbersome entitlement process.” Youn then quotes Governor Linda Lingle as saying the LUC process “is not conducive to the production of affordable housing.”

I’m sorry, but are we talking about the same LUC that’s chaired by Wailuku attorney Lawrence Ing, who’s never met a development project he didn’t like? While it’s debatable whether the LUC has ever lived up to its 1961 promise of keeping developers away from vital agricultural land—the commission has since the beginning been run by appointees usually sympathetic to converting farmland into residential and commercial properties—getting rid of it will hand virtually all land

Just read the unbylined front-page story “ML&P unveils Pulelehua” in the Mar. 18 issue of the Lahaina News, and I’ve got to say that something seems awfully familiar about it.

Story’s about Maui Land’s proposed 150-acre “community” between Honokowai and Kapalua Airport. Let’s see, it quotes Mayor Arakawa, Cole, McNatt—of course! It’s based entirely, completely, 100 percent on that Maui Land brochure from earlier this week! They even got the part about the project’s “future phases!”

Except that instead of mentioning that their sole story source was a slick piece of corporate propaganda, Lahaina News broke it up and used its many quotes and such to build what appears to be a well-reported story about how the company “recently unveiled” Pulelehua.

Pretty sneaky, eh?… MTW

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD CRIME AND PUNISHMENT New York City high school chemistry teacher Elihu McMahon, 69, reports daily to a do-nothing job, at $77,000 a year, as the result of being ordered out of the classroom based on various complaints and administrative findings. In fact, according to a February New York Post story, he has spent about three-fourths of his time in the last 15 years in such jobs (since New York teachers have generous job protections), costing the schools an estimated $600,000 in salary. Among the complaints against him: racist remarks to students (McMahon is black), insubordination, incompetent teaching, improper grading and sexual harassment (although McMahon blames the problems on bad administrators).

FINER POINTS OF THE LAW In December, Australia’s TV Channel 7 reported that many schools across the country, at the behest of the Australasian Performing Rights Association, were discouraging parents from making keepsake movies of their kids’ appearances in Christmas musicals, because recording the holiday songs might violate copyright law.

MAGNIFICENT OBSESSIONS The New York Times reported in February on a Washington, D.C., man whose love of music led him, in the 1960s, to meticulously hand-make and handpaint facsimile record album covers of his fantasized music, complete with imagined lyric sheets and liner notes (with some “albums” even shrink-wrapped), and, even more incredibly, to hand-make cardboard facsimiles of actual grooved discs to

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

put inside them. “Mingering Mike,” whom a reporter and two hobbyists tracked down (but who declined to be identified in print), also made real music, on tapes, using his and friends’ voices to simulate instruments. His 38 imagined “albums” were discovered at a flea market after Mike defaulted on storage-locker fees, and the hobbyists who found them said they were so exactingly done that a major museum would soon feature them.

Front Street’s

One Of A Kind

Shopping Nook!

LATEST IMPORTANT ANIMAL RESEARCH Case Western Reserve University researchers revealed in a December journal article that cockroaches do not age gracefully, that after about 60 weeks of adulthood, they get stiff joints (which inhibits climbing) and hardened foot pads (which prevents sticking to vertical surfaces). One of the researchers, noticing that aged roaches seem to have lost their ability to escape from predators, hypothesized that the loss was brain-based; he tested the hypothesis by removing the roach’s head (and, thus, brain), and sure enough, the roach once again was able to flee like a youngster.

Come Visit Us Jewelry • Tattoos • Activities Snorkel Gear • Fashion Art • Time Shares

• Chadwick Hawaii Jewelers • Watch-n-See • Lahaina Ticket Co. • Tropical Toes • Manta Ray Snorkel Dive • Bead Jewelry Stand • Anuenue Jewelry • Air Brush Tattoo • Timeshare Re-Sale • Paradise Music • Temporary Tattoos • Julie Galeeva Fine Art

THE ENTREPRENEURIAL SPIRIT Among recent U.S. patents (according to a January story in the East Bay Express, Emeryville, Calif.): (1) a penile prosthesis with a magnet, from Deborah Knoll-Ewers, Hercules, Calif. (to overcome erectile dysfunction with new-age magnet therapy); (2) a plastic liner for men to use beneath their underwear, from Wesley Johnson, Burbank, Calif. (to keep the clothing clean while engaged in fully dressed sex, such as lap dances); and (3) an electrically safe device that attaches to the tongue, to make it vibrate, from Eric A. Klein, Mountain View, Calif. (to enhance a partner’s sexual pleasure).

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Paia

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Tides &times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului - 1hr 41min. Hana - 1hr 23 min.

Makena - 0hr 32min. Kihei/Ma`alaea - 0hr 22 min. Lahaina - 0hr 40 min.

25 Sun R 6:30A Thur Sun S 6:44P 26

Sun R 6:29A Fri Sun S 6:45P

L 1:47A +0.4 H 6:07A +0.7

L 12:01P +0.0 H 7:41P +1.5

L 3:24A +0.4 H 6:35A +0.5

L 12:26P +0.0 H 8:42P +1.6

27

Encore!

Quality Consignment Boutique

Sun R 6:29A Sat Sun S 6:45P

L 1:03P +0.2 H 9:58P +1.6

28 Sun R 6:28A Sun Sun S 6:45P

L 7:09A +0.2 L 2:19P +0.2 H 10:25A +0.3 H 11:13P +1.6

29 Sun R 6:27A Mon Sun S 6:46P

L 7:34A +0.2

30 Sun R 6:26A Tue Sun S 6:46P

H 12:12A +1.7 H 12:56P +0.5 L 7:55A +0.1 L 5:35P +0.2

31 Sun R 6:25A Wed Sun S 6:46P

H 12:59A +1.7 H 1:31P +0.7 L 8:15A +0.1 L 6:36P +0.1

661–5533

Can America survive being supersized?

H 12:10P +0.2 L 4:11P +0.3

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1 1 1 H a n a H w y. #105, Kahului 871-1141 Email: info@ukes.com / We b s i t e : w w w.ukes.com

DKL

DK Levin Company

Official information

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Phone number

Fax number

808 244 7770 808 244 7720 Important!

We’re weird.

We actually LOVE doing taxes.

Okay. Not many people can say this, but we at the DK Levin Company actually ENJOY doing tax returns.

The forms. The worksheets. All that complex math and figures.

It may not make sense, but it’s true.

We’d like NOTHING better than to sit down with you and go over your W-2’s and 1099’s and other tax information.

Then you can go home and we’ll get down to the fun stuff. email: Web:

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doug@dklevincompany.com www.dklevincompany.com

MARCH 25, 2004

NEWS

In no time at all, you’ll have beautifully prepared returns, with every possible deduction and credit. The IRS will be happy, you'll be happy, and you may even discover something for yourself.

That you actually ENJOYED it too.

Call us today at 244-7770 for an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.

BY JOSHUA COOPER

The Fat of the Land

100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA 579-8030

Lahaina Square Shopping Center (next to Ace) M - F 10 - 5/SAT 10 - 3

Fish Market

LOCALNEWS

Survival of the fittest It’s finally official. Not only is America the wealthiest nation on Earth, it’s also the weightiest. In fact, Americans don’t need to worry about getting killed by terrorists—Americans are getting the job done themselves with a couple supersized meals each day and a few snacks and sugary soft drinks to go.

Obesity is the most prodigious killer in the United States, other than tobacco, of course. Seems laziness and gorging on fatty foods aren’t such hot ideas after all. A McDonald’s monthly diet helped one filmmaker gain 25 pounds and shoot his cholesterol level from 168 to 230.

Children see 40,000 ads a year seducing their sweet tooth featuring mainly sugar coated cereal, candy and fast food.

Every year the food industry drops $10 billion dollars worth of advertising into the bucket of child consumption.

It’s not difficult to guess whether kids will chose between a balanced diet and neonlaced junk food. Kids are surrounded by unhealthy choices around the home with parents working all the time. Because education dollars are growing ever fewer, corporate subsidies are making their way into public schools. In fact, these days it’s often easier to locate a snack machine in a school than an air conditioning unit.

But kicking the fast food habit isn’t so simple: our diet and foreign policy go hand in hand. Think of how the rest of the world is starving down to skin and bones while America is bloated beyond belief. Both are dying. It seems deceptively simple that sharing our resources with the world would help everyone out.

The United States has access to the greatest selection of food in the history of the world.

While America is seen as the richest nation in the world in terms of material wealth, it is the poorest in terms of sharing its wealth with those less fortunate.

Today 1.2 billion people are living on less than a dollar a day, not even enough to buy a McD’s meal. In fact, half the entire planet lives on two dollars a day.

Our country’s contribution to world poverty is alarming. Looking at the proportion of Gross National Product that the world’s richest nations give in development aid, the United States of America ranks absolutely, indisputably, dead last. In fact, in 2000 America donated just 10 cents from every $100 produced by the economy.

The philosopher Thomas Aquinas may have said “whatever a man has in superabundance is owed, of natural right, to the poor for their sustenance,” but history as shown that Americans put much more stock in Herbert Spencer’s doctrine of “survival of the fittest.”

Americans simply give little to foreign aid.

It’s a classic whipping boy in budget battles.

Yet Americans pay a monthly rate to keep their material objects in a rental space beyond their own supersized homes. In most places around the world, that rental space would be considered a home.

Americans don’t get out to work even to clean their own back yard. Instead of working on our knees getting dirty and digging, someone is hired to strap a global warming device on his back just to blow leaves a couple of feet off the front sidewalk.

The ironic thing is that while the very idea of nibbling on raw foods is considered flakey and extremist, the nation as a whole is addicted to raw capitalism. We need a holistic diet from our food consumption pattern to our foreign policy. MTW

OPED

When We Can’t Do It Ourselves...

BY TED RALL

Spanish Lie Three years after 9/11, our fibber keeps his job

Business Center

Piiholo Stables “Riding Academy”

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• Flyers/Newsletters • Fax Services • Internet Access • Computer Services 2395 S. Kihei Rd. Dolphin Plaza 874-9581 874-9586 fax

The train in Spain PHOTO: ALFAQUI SL / ACTION PRESS / ZUMA

Sit on it today, Sleep on it tonight

Two days after Spanish socialists won an upset victory over rightist Prime Minister José Maria Aznar, three of The New York Times’ four opinion columns called the results a victory for Al Qaeda.

“This is not how democracies are supposed to react when they are attacked by fanatics,” scolded Edward Luttwak. “What is the Spanish word for appeasement?” asked David Brooks. (The answer, interestingly, is pacificación.)

These reactions follow party lines; Republicans lament the demise of one of the two major European governments aligned with Bush while Paul Krugman, the lone leftie on the Times op-ed page, raises a tall glass of Toldyaso on the rocks.

As usual, the conventional wise men are missing the point.

Bush waited months after the Sept. 11, 2001 attacks on New York and Washington, D.C. before suggesting that invading Iraq was part of the war on terrorism, but imagine for a moment that he had instead followed Donald Rumsfeld’s counsel? At a meeting of the National Security Council hours after the towers fell, he immediately blamed Saddam Hussein. What if Bush had addressed a shocked and grieving nation that very night, calling for war against Iraq?

But then, suddenly, Al Qaeda issues a credible claim of responsibility. Bush has been caught cynically exploiting the stillwarm ashes of the fallen in order to promote an illegal war while letting the real murderers get away.

The next day, you’re in a voting booth.

Switch the names and dates from Bush to Aznar and from 9/11 to M/11—the Spanish name for the Madrid bombings— and you’ve got the atmosphere that led to the leftist victory on Sunday.

LETTERS

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“The Spanish people smelled a rat,” wrote the UK Mirror. “In an age of alarming voter apathy, an extraordinary 77 percent turned out at the polls.”

Spanish voters didn’t fire Aznar because they were scared of big bad Al Qaeda. They dumped him because they didn’t want to be led by a liar. As Spain enters a new era of terrorism, its citizens want straight talk about the threat. Will Americans do the same this fall?

The parallels are eerily similar. Three years after 9/11, Bush and officials of his Administration continue to mislead us about who carried out the attacks and what could have been done to prevent them. (My favorite fib involves supposed contacts between Al Qaeda and the group Ansar al-Islam, which Bushies claim proves a Saddam-Osama link.

Ansar al-Islam operates in the northern “no fly zone,” which is part of Iraq but in a region controlled by Saddam’s Kurdish enemies.

Most American voters are unclear on the particulars. Ignorance is the fertilizer of the Bush Doctrine.) Not only that, he coddles the guilty as he bombs the innocent. Saudi Arabia and Pakistan, the two nations directly responsible for the founding and funding of Al Qaeda and the Egyptian unit that probably carried out 9/11, have yet to be held accountable.

It shouldn’t have taken more than three days— the elapsed time between the exposure of Aznar’s lie and his defeat—to turn us against Bush. His 9/11-related lies are by now so voluminous that they literally fill books. And yet, according to the latest NBC News-Wall Street Journal poll, 52 percent of American voters believe he “gave the most accurate information he had” about Iraq before going to war a year ago.

There are only two possible explanations for this continued support: either Americans don’t know that their “president” is a liar, or they don’t care. Either way, this is not how democracies are supposed to react. MTW

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9

BREAKFAST

THE

food issue Food. Since the dawn of time, Man has eaten food. Good, sustaining, satisfying food. Sometimes even when he’s been hungry.

Food is life, but it’s more than mere sustenance. It is comfort, emotional reinforcement, even a secret lover.

We need food, possibly even more than food needs us. It is no joke to say that human beings would not last long in a world without food.

But surely, who would want to live in such a world?

Vive la Food!

Food Uber Alles!

Ich bin ein Food-eater!

So sit back and relax and relish this, our salute to all things food. For your dining pleasure, it’s structured along the lines of that seminal culinary troika of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Compiled by: Sam Campos, Anthony Pignataro and Jen Russo 10

MARCH 25, 2004

COVER STORY

PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

2004

CRABCAKE OR CAJUN AHI BENEDICT Plantation House Restaurant When you start to head north up to Kapalua for breakfast you know you’re in for a ritzy experience. Oneup your eating partner who ordered the eggs benedict by ordering the Crabcake benedict. Who wants a rubbery piece of Canadian bacon when you can substitute the soft fluffy goodness of clump crabmeat and spices? It goes perfect with the rich hollandaise and gorgeous ocean views here. Or opt for the Cajun Ahi Benedict with wasabi hollandaise. You can even get one of each if you’re feeling indecisive. 2000 Plantation Club Dr. Kapalua, 669-6299.

BREAKFAST BAGEL Breakwall Café A breakfast bagel serves many purposes. More than a mere sandwich, but less formal than your classy Eggs Benedict, the breakfast bagel is the perfect to-go meal to eat in traffic or at your desk at work. Breakwall Café serves up a real satisfying one. Here you get a plain or everything bagel all toasty warm and stuffed with melted jack cheese, scrambled eggs and bacon.

505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-5274.

TIGER ROLL Take Sushi It’s a delectable combination of shrimp tempura, spicy tuna, cucumber and avocado. If you can’t start your day with sushi, what’s the

point in getting out of bed? 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051.

VEGGIE GOAT CHEESE OMELET Colleen’s Everything is better with cheese.

Especially veggies. And mild chèvre is the perfect complement to a gourmet morning of eggs, vegetables, freshly roasted coffee and most likely, upcountry rain, in this charming ‘40s style bistro. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku, 575-9211.

POPEYE OMELET Gazebo “I’m strong to the finish, ‘cuz I eats me spinach…” Not only is it not out of a can, but this Spinach and Cheese omelet is given a healthy dose of hollandaise sauce so it’s a little bit fancier than what ol’ Popeye was used to. Then again, he’s also got a girlfriend named Olive Oyl, so what does he know? 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Napili, 669-5621.

FRITTATA I like to consider this the more sophisticated, bohemian alternative to the traditional omelet, which is how I view the ambience of this artsy little cafe as well. The frittata is basically an open-face omelet with sausage, tomato, onion, mushroom, spinach, bell peppers and feta cheese. And that’s just about enough to distract you from the hanging cage of Barbies for a minute. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy, Honokowai, 667-0787.

ORIGINAL GLAZED DONUT Krispy Kreme To some, mostly folks who spent their formative years in the Deep South, this here is God’s Donut, the Uber Donut, Plato’s Ideal Donut somehow made edible. To others, it’s a couple soft, warm bites of sweet fried cake that will get your fingertips all sticky with glaze. Of course, as you lick all that glaze off your fingers, keep in mind that Krispy Kreme is a giant

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50% OFF ALL LUNCH ENTREES! DAILY FROM 11am-3pm • SUNDAY & MONDAY—

Charley’s While I prefer to amble up to the long bar on the saloon side to order my shot of Jack first thing in the morn, Charley’s does offer some tasty grub on the restaurant side.

They feature a very scrumptious heaping platter of eggs, cheese, and anything you can think up to scramble it with. They also have daily scramble specials of the most creative combinations. I will say one thing: Charley’s makes goooood breakfast.

And hey, if it’s good enough for Willie… 142 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-9453.

GRAND MARNIER FRENCH TOAST

All You Can Eat Dungenness Crab Feed!

ONLY $24.99

• TUESDAY— Ladies Night $2.00 Wells & $5.00 Cosmos for the Ladies 6pm-Close

• THURSDAY—Family Night 5pm-10pm Kids Under 10 Eat Free Off Kids Menu! One Kids Meal Per Adult Entree Purchased.

• FABULOUS FUN FRIDAY! 1/2 Price Appetizers From Our Late Night Menu 10pm-Close

• SATURDAY— Guys Night Out! $2.00 Coors Drafts $3.00 Chili or Kraut Dogs.

FREE POOL! 6pm-Close

• WEDNESDAY— Fajita Day All You Can Eat! ONLY $11.99

“Great Food, Pool, Drinks, Sports & Fun...”

2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874-8869

Longhi’s

Soup Nutz & Java Jazz

LETTERS

corporation with shops all over the country that spends no money on advertising, choosing instead to bribe reporters and media outlets with free boxes of donuts to get them to write endless, pathetic stories on the company. Mmmm… guilty.

433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883.

If you’re like most folks, you probably didn’t realize that the place you go to on Fridays to see Crazy Fingers also has a fabulous, high quality breakfast. Fresh orange juice and homemade pastries await! And you don’t even have to read through any cumbersome wordy menus—the staff greets you with a verbal menu, while you just sit back and keep your eyes closed until they bring you their special Grand Marnier French Toast with real maple syrup. Nothing like a little alcohol-laced food to start the day, my momma always said. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 6672288; 3750 Wailea Alanui, Shops at Wailea, 891-8883.

Private Chef and Catering Services, Specializing in Special Events and Weddings.

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THE The only ingredient missing is you!

Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner Try our new menu!

Buy One Entrée and Get 50% Off the Second Entrée Daily 5 to 6 pm Tuesdays $24.95 – Salad & Prime Rib …while it lasts!

MAUI

COFFEE

food issue 2004

ROASTERS T RY OUR FOOD, NOT JUST OUR FRESH BEANS! 11:00am - 10:00pm

with this coupon. expires 4/30/04

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877–CUPS

2259 S. Kihei Rd (At the Maui Coast Hotel) 808-891-8860

WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

I ❤ N.Y. FOOD

Healthy & Delicious Mid-East Cuisine 658 Front Street • Wharf Cinema Center • Lahaina

FREE DELIVERY

667-7757

1 mile radius • $14 minimum

COVER STORY

•

10AM - 9PM

Did you know that pumpkin is an aphrodisiac? In fact, there are actual studies conducted to show how the smell of freshly baked pumpkin pie gets a man up quicker than you can say Ovaltine. And, of course, you know about women and chocolate, right? Yeah, well, so we’re gonna go ahead and rename this breakfast winner the “Love Muffin.”

100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770.

TWO EGGS, HASH AND TOAST BREAKFAST BURRITO BROWNS Hecocks Kai Ku Ono

Everything you want in a breakfast, all wrapped up in a tortilla. It’s quick, it’s easy, it’s filling and oh, so ono! And cheap, too. You can stuff that burrito in your mouth either with a view on their large lanai, or while sitting in their lounge on red leather, leopard-trimmed couches.

Red leather and leopard trim? Now that’s my kind of morning. 2511 South Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-1954.

PHOTO:SEAN M. HOWER

Happy Hour from 4 to 7 pm Drink Specials Until Closing $3.00 Well Drinks Everyday!

ANY POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE

PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Live Hawaiian Style Entertainment Nightly 6:30 to 9:30 pm

$300 OFF

MARCH 25, 2004

If you do nothing all day, or did way too much the night before, these 24 ounces of healthy juice goodness will take away all your sins. You can opt for the Peanut Butter Moo’d with Femme Boost for the little girl in you, or maybe the Strawberrries Wild with Immunity boost for your inner hypochondriac.

But I would just play it safe, eliminate trifling decisions and select the all-inone Powerboost smoothie. It’s got it all, baby! Located island-wide.

Cakewalk Bakery

OPEN FROM 7 A M - 6 P M M -F, 8 A M - 5 P M S AT., 8 A M - 2 : 3 0 P M SUN.

12

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PUMPKIN CHOCOLATE CHIP MUFFIN

S E RVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH

OPEN 7 DAYS

POWERBOOST

So you want a fat breakfast—something to weigh you down first thing in the morning? Head to Hecocks and order up two eggs over easy, hash browns with cheese, sourdough toast and Portuguese sausage. This has cured many a late night hung-over-towork-mornings. They can even pack it up for take-out. And remember to ask for the cheese on the hash browns. I said ask! You know you want it. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810.

Festive Fiesta Nights

The dish: Get 12 meals for just $250!

Imagine gourmet meals at home… and no dishes!

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Or get individual meals for $22 each (serves 4-6).

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The half dish:

Delicioso!Sizzling Hot!

Dish will do the chores, allowing you and your family to relax and enjoy dinner.

Get 12 meals for just $145!

Forget slaving over the stove to produce yet another unimpressive vat of mac ‘n’ cheese. How about a few minutes of prep time for BBQ lime shrimp? Or chicken cacciatore and ahi tuna with ginger basil butter?

Or get individual meals for $13 each (serves 2-3).

Every Tuesday Night

Chicken or Steak Fajitas Only $10 Tuesday Drink Specials! $3 Cuervo Gold Margaritas!

Small freezer?

Order 12 or more meals and get a punch card so you can pick up your meals a few at a time throughout the month.

Enjoy leftovers and takeout a few times a week, and you’ll have enough to feed a family of four for a month!

Dish it up today!

150 Hana Highway, Kahului (next to 24-Hour Fitness) (808) 877-1414

How it works Give us a call and we’ll do everything! Choose one meal or 20 — it’s your choice. Then, pick up your meals, pop them in the freezer, and follow our simple cooking directions when you’re ready to eat!

Next to Hapa’s 41 E. Lipoa Street Kihei

891-6394

www.dishsimple.com.

Mahalo Maui for Voting us BEST

novamaui.com a s a c ! n o og -0220 - L 2 7 5 l l a c e&

- Din g n i n e v le E b a r o m e Make it a M

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LUNCH

THE

food issue 2004 SURFER’S CLUB Mr. Sub If Maui ever had a sandwich election, the Surfer’s Club would win the presidency on the first ballot. Not that I’m suggesting such an event— the speeches alone would put everyone to sleep—but I’m just saying.

This is a quality sandwich. It’s fat with turkey, avocado, sprouts and provolone cheese. I like it on a soft wheat roll to balance out its healthy goodness, but get it on whatever bread you like. No, really—it’s a free country, go right ahead. I don’t mind… much. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683.

FISH AND CHIPS

PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Capt. Dave’s Fish & Chips

THE NOONER BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria Ahhh, BJ’s. Um, you guys know that the only thing “Chicago” in this place is the deep-dish pizza? That the first of the 30 or so BJ’s franchises opened not in the Loop but in beautiful Newport Beach, California? That their corporate headquarters is not in the Windy City but in Surf City? That there isn’t even a single BJ’s in the great state of Illinois? You guys couldn’t give a damn, right? Okay, then just enjoy this lunch special of a small salad and one individual-sized deep-dish pizza with all the heavenly cheese and thick buttery crust and tomato chunks the joint’s famous for. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

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MARCH 25, 2004

COVER STORY

Nothing fancy, just your classic basket of deep-fried fish guts and potato spears. The fish bits are large, but not overly greasy. And, amazingly enough, they taste like fish. Not that long ago I ordered a basket of fried chicken and fish from another place and was appalled to discover that there wasn’t much of a taste difference between the two items. No such horror at Captain Dave’s. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700.

CHICKEN CURRY SALAD Café O’Lei This salad is so good you’ll forget what a wuss you are for eating a salad for lunch. The most delectable mix of chicken, papaya and mango curry dressing tossed with Kula greens fills a very large bowl you could practically fall into.

Although eating your way out would not be so bad. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

THAI CHICKEN QUESADILLA Compadres Bar & Grill Yummy chicken breast, tangy peanut Thai sauce, grated carrots

and fresh sprouts make this quesadilla a little different from the normal cheese in tortilla thing. Who knew Mexican and Thai food goes so well together? Hmm… spicy green papaya enchiladas with coconut milk sauce—maybe not so much. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 or 667-5786.

ONO TACO SALAD Jawz Tacos It’s the taco salad that actually IS a salad. It has fresh greens, black beans, cheese, rice and Ono stuffed into a huge tortilla shell. They also offer Mahi, shrimp, chicken or beef as fillers if you wish. But whatever you choose, it’s really all about the salsa bar. A large bowl of food means you can experiment with the dozen or so salsas in different sections of your salad, while not ruining the overall fabulousness. Woo hoo!

The fun we have with salad! 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-8226.

LOBSTER TACOS SandBar & Grill We’ve all had a taco at some point in our lunchtime experiences.

Chicken, beef, fish—but lobster in a taco? Oh sure, there’s lobster pizza, lobster burgers, lobster and jelly

sandwiches… I mean, it’s all been done. Lobster is today’s chicken.

The other other white meat. Still, there’s something about the salsa with black beans, corn and chunks of avocado that makes it more than just lobster in a taco. 89 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8742.

The Best Meal You’ll Have on Maui!

Breakfast • Lunch •Dinner New Home of Maui’s Own Award Winning Chef

Raul Bermudez

KALUA PIG

Drop In On the Big Wave Cafe or Call for Take Out

Local Food Like all plate lunches, this wonderfully tender pork comes with a couple scoops of white rice and mac salad. But remember that this little lunch counter is only open a couple hours each weekday, and they only make a certain amount of food.

Don’t be one of those shmucks that gets told nicely but firmly that the food’s run out so you need to come back tomorrow. 222 Papalua St., Lahaina, 667-2882.

Cool Cat Café It’s the appetizer that eats like a meal. A good meal, in fact. You get a plate of large strips of white meat, breaded and slightly seasoned. For dipping, there are cups of barbecue sauce and ranch dressing. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908.

LEMON CAPER MAHI MAHI Honokowai Okazuya & Deli The Okazuya cooks up the best Asian comfort food on the island, but their Lemon Caper Mahi Mahi stands out. I can’t help ordering it over and over again. Their plates are huge, packed with plenty of sticky white rice, lots of flaky Mahi-Mahi and the best melt-in-your-mouth lemon caper goodness. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 665-0512.

FISH KABOB Kahuna Kabob Food is food, but put it on a stick and KAPOW—it’s a kabob! Tender medallions of fresh fish that have been seasoned and broiled with onions and peppers are skewered

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and served with your choice of sticky white or health-nut brown rice. This good deal and healthy meal makes this a midday fave for all. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 661-9999.

PINT OF GUINNESS

1215 S. Kihei Rd Kihei (Long’s Shopping Center)

YOUR KITCHEN AWAY FROM HOME HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY! from 12 to 3pm and 9 to11pm 2 Pizza Slices 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 250 Well Drinks $

$

A TASTE OF LAHAINA WINNER FOR 4 CONSECUTIVE YEARS “BEST VEGETARIAN” “BEST MEAT” “BEST APPETIZER” & “BEST SEAFOOD”

505 FRONT STREET, 661–8112

Mega Touch Games, Pool Table, Jukebox

Mulligan’s on the Blue

CHICKEN STRIPS

LETTERS

891-8688

SURF

You want a hearty lunch and a buzz to boot? Forget the shepherd’s pie and just go for the Guinness.

Thick and rich like a shake and black as coffee, this will be a lunch you will soon forget, if you have more than one pint. Don’t try this at your next power lunch cuz your lips will be flappin’ like the beautiful Wailea breeze. Or you can soak it up with some more alcohol in beer-batter shrimp form. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Fridays

50 2 .

Mai Tais $

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

KIAWE SMOKED BABY BACK RIBS

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG

Smokehouse BBQ Bar & Grill

NIGHTLY SPECIALS

Men and women alike—who doesn’t appreciate a nice rack? Well, okay, maybe the roughly three percent of the population that considers themselves vegetarian, but still. As for the rest of us, a thick slab of tangy barbeque-sauced meat accompanied by a stack of napkins is all you need for a kiawe-smoked, lip-smackin’, ribrackin’ good time. Rib-rackin’? Did I really just write that? Wow, I must really like these ribs. 1307 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7005.

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MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $18.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $19.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $16.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6 $2.75 TROPICALS / WELLS $1.75 DRAFTS

AR DOLLL ES B U O D AY D L L A

FRESH $1.00 R OYSTTEERS O O H S

Wednesdays

$

1 6 .9 5

Prime Rib Nite

HAPPY HOUR DAILY FROM 2-5 PM

$2.50 WELL DRINKS $3.50 MARGARITAS $1.50 BUD LIGHTS Watch Your Favorite Sports On Our New Bar T.V.s

Variety Is Our Specialty 2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

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If You’re Gonna Go... Go Wild!

New Addition:

Courtyard Café Menu - Nightly 4:00pm-9:00pm Great Appetizers, Pizzas, Pastas, Entrée Salads, Sandwiches and Drink Specials Everything $7-$12

New Addition:

Sauvage Salad Garden - Now Open

Chef Dean

Monday thru Friday 11:00am-2:30pm • Ahi Poke Caesar Salad • Chinese Chicken Salad • Smoked Marlin Salad Sandwich • Pesto Pizza • Kalua Pig Sandwich w/Chipotle • Peppered Ahi Burger

Full Service Steak & Seafood Menu with Chef Dean’s Wild & Flavorful Sauces.

Private Business Lunches*

Served Nightly 6-8 pm

3 Course Lunch Served in Our Air Conditioned Dining Rooms.

• Best Wine Prices in Lahaina • Very Limited Seating

*24 Hour Advance Reservations Requires

Reservations Recommended

661-7600 844 Front St.

NEW GAME ROOM! Open all day

Homestyle New American Comfort Food

Vegetarian Selections Locally Raised Grass Fed Beef Fresh Local Fish Full Bar-Late Night Pupus (10’til-close) Homemade desserts

• Pool tables • Big TV’s • Video games • Pinball • Foozball Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779 16

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food issue 2004 BRIE, APPLE AND AVOCADO CREPE Café Des Amis Crepes are good food. I guess they’re kind of like the sophisticated French version of the obese Americans’ pancake. And hey, anything that’s fashioned after dessert that you can eat for lunch is all right by me. This crepe-alicious combination of Brie cheese, green apple and sliced avocado will have you saying merci over and over again—bad accent or not. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323.

BURGER SALAD

ADOBO BBQ DUCK & SWEET POTATO QUESADILLA OR CEVICHE

Jonny’s Burger Joint Want a burger really bad, but you’re caught in the no-carbs-is-goodcarbs diet trend? Then this burger salad is what you want. It’s got it all— ground beef, carmelized onions, shredded cheese, sautéed mushrooms, diced tomatoes. And oh yeah, there’s lettuce, too. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy., Kaanapali, 661-4500.

Mañana Garage I’ve become quite the fan of creative fillers for quesadillas and this Adobo BBQ Duck and Sweet Potato combo is a good one. The Ceviche, too, is a tasty treat of fresh seafood marinated in a light and creamy citrus sauce. Now if they could just throw it all into a tortilla with cheese, I wouldn’t have to make any more difficult lunch decisions at Mañana. Except, of course, for the usual “blended or on the rocks?” 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

GUACAMOLE TACO Fiesta Time Mmm… guacamole.

Freshly mashed avocado with diced tomatoes, onions, cilantro, garlic and lime juice. Why, I love it so much, I’d take a whole bunch of it and stick it in a tortilla and… oh hey! Guacamole tacos: an idea whose time has come. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463.

SQUID LUAU Valley Isle Seafood This is a stew made with luau, or taro leaf, boiled down for an hour until it’s soft like spinach and melts in your mouth. The stew has a sweet base of coconut milk. And they don’t skimp on the calamari. The small one is a nice appetizer but the large can be a whole succulent meal. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 893-0497.

PULEHU COMBO PHOTO:SEAN M. HOWER

Pulehu BBQ Grill Be warned—this is a lot of meat, barbecued Southern style. It will surprise you. It will shock you. But it will not leave you hungry. The Combo comes with ribs—baby back, St. Louis and short—as well as some chicken and a scoop of chopped pork. Each and every meat is succu-

PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

THE

lent, but served without the flood of sauce that accompanies most barbecue joints. And you get two scoops rice and your choice of sides—for a little change-up, opt for the cinnamony baked beans. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159.

MAHI MAHI SANDWICH Paia Fish Market By far the greatest, most stupendous fish sandwich on Maui, if not the whole Hawaiian Island chain. It is the fish sandwich by which all other fish sandwiches are measured. Did I mention that this is the most delicious fish sandwich ever made by a human being? Fish willingly fling themselves into nets just for the chance to get made into this sandwich. It’s topped with cheese, tomato and, of all things, coleslaw. And you can get it with Ono or Mahi— doesn’t matter which, as each is perfectly delectable. 100 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8030.

“Best Plate Lunch” Maui News Readers Poll

“Best Pupu Coconut Prawns” Taste of Lahaina

“Paper plate meets million dollar view”New York Times

Join us on our deck for beachside plate lunches, burgers, noodles and “ono” daily specials.

Present this coupon and receive

A free regular soft drink with plate lunch or equivalent purchase.

Casual, affordable and fun!

1285 Front St.- Makai of La¯ haina Cannery Mall

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 1-1-05

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ing. It’s made up of their house chicken broth with boneless, skinless, shredded chicken breast, half an avocado, sliced scallions and cheddar cheese. It’s also a perfect late-night tonic after spending a few hours next door at Hapa’s downing Mind Erasers and dancing with people you otherwise might not wish to associate with. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-6394.

PAELLA

PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Café Mambo

LEADER OF THE PACK Cool Cat Café This burger is called Leader of the Pack for good reason. It is the burger of all burgers, the one by which all others follow. It is a burger of such merit that my roommate orders two at a time—one to devour immediately and the other to eat cold first thing in the morning. And she has such great skin, too. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908.

PENNE BROCCOLI WITH CHICKEN Penne Pasta It’s always a good sign that an establishment with “Penne” in its name can actually make good penne. They serve it baked, sim-

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mered with olives, with a ragout of plum tomatoes, but it’s best to go with the simple Penne Broccoli. The sauce is chunky but not so much that it has the consistency of paste.

It’s fine on its own, but adding chicken turns what’s otherwise a light lunch into a hearty meal. Consider it Italian food that Italian people can actually enjoy. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633.

CHICKEN AVOCADO SOUP Horhito’s Mexican Cantina Most of the time, soup sounds so boring. Could be all those years of eating cold Campbell’s chicken noodle soup in a can without water… but I digress. Horhito’s Chicken Avocado Soup is anything but bor-

You want Paella, you gotta go to Café Mambo. They serve up a hearty saffron-soaked bowl of chicken, chorizo, shrimp and calamari. Paella in Paia.

Get it? Huh? Screw you. Once a Brazilian restaurant owner said that paella should “smell like the sea.” This certainly does, though it tastes a lot better than the sea. In fact, it tastes like chicken— probably due to the fact that they put chicken in it. Isn’t cooking magical?

Anyway, it’s decent Paella, even if it’s probably the only paella on Maui. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021.

MANGO AND CRAB SALAD HAND ROLL Sansei Oh, the mango! The Thai vinaigrette! Mmm… mamenori! Yes, there’s a delicious crab salad in there too, with mesclun, peanuts, cilantro and cucumber but really, it’s all about the mamenori. It’s a soybean wrap that’s softer than regular nori and comes in Easterific colors: fluorescent green, pink and yellow.

Heck, if it didn’t taste so fantastic you could wear it. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286; 1881 So. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-0004.

EVIL JUNGLE PASTA OR PIZZA Lahaina Coolers Baked chicken breast, green and red peppers, onions, mozzarella cheese and spicy Thai peanut sauce—that’s the kind of evil jungle I wouldn’t mind getting lost in.

Whether it’s over linguini or on a pizza crust, it’s gonna be good. 180 Dickenson, Lahaina, 661-7082.

RIGATONI BEVERLY HILLS Casanova Italian Restaurant Who knew vodka and pasta could go so well together? Strips of chicken breast and perfectly cooked broccoli tossed with rigatoni in a creamy sundried tomato sauce with a splash of vodka will tantalize your every taste bud. It’s making my mouth water just thinking about it. But I suppose all that food stuff comes with the vodka so I guess I’ll just have to hunker down and eat it. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572-0220.

HAWAII KAI-STYLE BLUE CRAB CAKES Roy’s Even though this item is merely an appetizer, you’re not going to want to share, so order your own damn plate. The crab cakes are served as soft seafood patties with a sweet wasabe ginger butter sauce that you definitely need to order a jar of to take home and eat with your fingers in the closet. It’s that good. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana, 669-6999; 303 Piikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120.

HUNGRY? NOW OFFERING CATERING SERVICE

2 LOCATIONS ON MAUI!

KIHEI • 879-8400 KAHANA • 665-1822 281 PI’IKEA AVENUE

4405 HONOAPIILANI HWY.

CALL AHEAD SEATING AVAILABLE

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Full service at your home or office or pick up a party platter to go.

Call us for more details and enjoy Maui’s favorite Mexican food just the way you want it!

395 Dairy Road • Kahului, Maui • 877-8707

* e entre e one cond of s a h c Pur t the se alue e v and g l or lesser . a E u E q e for FRnt coupon. prese /04. t Mus ires 4/30 Exp

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EXPERIENCE THE ONLY PLACE ON MAUI Grilling Fish, Burgers and Chicken on Real Kiawe Wood NOW SERVING BREAKFAST * Saturday & Sunday 8am-2pm Build Your Own Bloody Mary!

Nothing Over $7 on the Breakfast Menu

*

YOUR FIRST STOP IN PAIA On Your Way to Hana

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food issue 2004 NAPILI BURRITO

Translation: cha-ching! The appetizers aren’t too terribly expensive though so we don’t feel bad recommending them. Anyway, Spago’s poke is served in a tiny handmade sesame seed and miso cone that melts in your mouth. And that’s the point we’re trying to make here: Yum! 3900 Wailea Alanui, Four Seasons Resort, Wailea, 879-2999.

Maui Tacos Pretty much your standard burrito, with rice, black beans, cheese, salsa and your choice of grilled chicken or steak. What do you want?

It’s a burrito, for chrissakes! It’s a good burrito! It won’t disappoint you, like those fast-food burritos. Or horrify you, like those frozen burritos you find in the freezer case alongside the snow peas and toaster waffles. Located island-wide.

SAIMIN House of Saimin

VEGETABLE RISOTTO Capische?

While Capische? is mostly known for their Cioppino, the Vegetable Risotto is so good it will have you licking your plate and begging for more à la Oliver Twist. There’s no question that the sautéed portabellos, spears of asparagus, wilted arugula, white truffle and parmesan chards is what makes the world go ‘round. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224.

ULTIMATE CHEESEBURGER

Think of this as your late, late, late dinner. Your after-bar-hopping-Front Street dinner. Nothing soaks up the booze like saimin, and this is the place to get it. And they’re open late for all your hangover prevention needs. Hopefully, your drunken stupor doesn’t make you forget to order a couple chicken sticks as well.

Old Lahaina Center, 667-7572.

This is the stuff that Jack Daniels induced dreams are made of. Two large meat patties with three slices of cheese keep it simple and cholesterol bombastic. Tastes best at 2 a.m.

Meaty cheesy heaven. At locations everywhere except the Westside.

SPICY AHI TUNA POKE

Pacific’O

Spago This is another pupu that we’re passing off as a dinner item because it’s so damn tasty. And well, let’s face it: it’s at a high-class restaurant in an upscale resort on the most affluent side of the island.

Jack in the Box

HAPA HAPA TEMPURA Pacific Rim cuisine at its best, Hapa Hapa Tempura is an artfully presented plate of two sashimi blocks of the freshest fish available, wrapped in a sheet of dry seaweed and quickly fried medium rare—tempura style.

And yes, you might find yourself scooping up the white miso dressing and lime basil sauce with your fingers. But that’s okay, because sometimes bad table manners can be the highest compliment. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341.

TOFU VINDALU Curry in a Hurry Hans Maynes and his wife Lori Lee run Curry in a Hurry. They believe in cooking according to Ayurvedic principles. For those of you not up on Eastern thinking, Ayurveda tries to match diet to mind-body type (“dosha”) to ensure good health and PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

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traditional tomato, tangy fresh pesto or a back-to-the-basics olive oil and garlic. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Lahaina, 669-0266.

SEAFOOD ENCHILADAS Milagros Food Co. These aren’t just your run of the mill enchiladas, you know. They are a mouth-watering mix of shrimp, scallops and Ahi wrapped in soft corn tortillas in a cream-based verde sauce, with sour cream and cheese—glorious cheese. And if that wasn’t enough, they come with Spanish rice, black beans AND a Haiku salad for good measure. Margarita not included. 3 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8755.

KONA-COFFEE ROASTED RACK OF LAMB PHOTO:KIRSTEN GUENTHER

David Paul’s

well-being. Hans describes their dishes as a delightful and delicious alternative in vegetarian eating.

“This is brain food,” he says. “Food that calms the nerves, increases the mind awareness and helps all bodily functions.” Nothing on their menu illustrates this better than the Tofu Vindalu. It’s a spicy slosh of fresh vegetables and soy over a bed of basmati. The tofu comes soaked in an aromatic steam of cumin and curry, somersaulting flavors on all tips of the tongue. It’s good, and good for what ails you. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-3328.

We generally run from entrees with the word “vegetarian” in the title. Perhaps it was the tie-dye that swayed us but we agreed to try the vegetarian version of Shepard’s Pie— a comfort food favorite. With roasted root vegetables, mashed potato and cheddar cheese baked in a puff pastry crust that we used as a hat afterwards, we were duly impressed and forgot all about our flesh-eating tendencies. If only for a moment.

1279 So. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-3779.

BRICK-ROASTED BREAST OF CHICKEN

VIETNAMESE “BURRITO”

Hali’imaile General Store Seasoned to an unpretentious perfection, this chicken is the perfect spokesmeal for a general store. No mystery here, it’s just chicken dressed with a honey-dijon sauce and served over garlic-wilted spinach and creamy mashed potatoes. What do you want, applause? 900 Hali’imaile Rd., Hali’imaile, 572-7128.

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PUA ME HUA HANA

Stella Blues Café

This is a true Hawaiian feast that celebrates the simplicity and beauty of our islands’ edible gifts: Two filets of the freshest fish—generally Ono and Mahimahi—served with Molokai sweet potato, baked banana, island fruit and a fresh young coconut.

That’s right—fresh. Such a naughty, naughty coconut. That and a $10 Mai Tai makes this pick a meal to remember. 799 Poho Place, Kuau, 579-8488.

These burritos are Vietnamese ricepaper wraps that are delicately stuffed with tofu, noodles, fresh vegetables, vermicelli, fresh mint and bean sprouts. They make up one of the lighter dinner items that leaves you full and feeling like you did something really good for your body. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560 or 243-9566.

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Or whatever you prefer. But you go to Dollie’s, you gotta get the pizza. All we’ve ever had at Dollie’s was pizza and beer, because that’s the kind of place it is. The pizza is awesome, with as many combinations as you can dream up. It’s the perfect balance of crust, sauce and cheese. In fact, you can choose which sauce you prefer between

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How can you refuse an entrée that succeeds in combining coffee and wine with meat? Oh, the Kona-coffee roasted rack of lamb is a tasty curiosity all right, due in part to that amazingly rich coffee-Cabernet demi glaze. Definitely worth the price of admission. 127 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5117.

CATERPILLAR ROLL Hakone Not only is it pretty, but this roll of freshwater eel, avocado and cucumber wrapped in nori and rice and then topped with roe is every sushi lover’s dream. Hakone does it right, with no karaoke in sight. Not that there’s anything wrong with karaoke, you know, as long as there are sake bombs around. Maui Prince Hotel, Wailea, 874-1111.

FILET MIGNON Ruth’s Chris Steak House Mmm… meat. The juiciest, most melt-in-your-mouthiest meat to get is the 12 oz. filet mignon. They also offer a smaller 8 oz. cut but that’s for infants and people who can’t commit. Once you get past the confusing name, Ruth’s Chris is THE place to go to get your steak on. In fact, they should just call it Beef’s Meat Steak House. That would get the point across better. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815; 3750 Wailea Alanui, Shops at Wailea, 874-8880.

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?

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Cafe?

Fax the correct answer to maui wow wee cafe for great prizes!! \ fax 871-5789 Find out the answer in next week’s issue !

Fuhgeddaboudit!

Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian 95 Nothing Over $6.

MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaze, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155

Italian Restaurant www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com

Kihei Kalama Village 1945 S. Kihei Road • 875–0188 Open Every Day For Lunch & Dinner Noon to 10 PM

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ONO KINEGRINDS

BY SAM CAMPOS AND AMY BURRIS

Better Than Sex The top ten desserts of Maui While it’s true that Man has eaten food since the dawn of time, Woman has been right there enticing him with dessert. Ah, the sweeter sex!

For those of you whose lives were changed by the Chocolate Soufflé at Roy’s or whose daily regimes include the chocolate dipped cone at Dairy Queen, these desserts would be the obvious top picks.

Here, we present some lesser known but must-try desserts. They’ll satisfy and tantalize all your sweet-sensual needs and decadent desires. If food is life, then dessert is, well, the SEX!

PIZOOKIE BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria Picture if you will a large, deep-dish pan of freshly baked, homemade cookie—either Chocolate Chip or White Chocolate Macadamia Nut—warm and oozing with cookie goodness, balanced with a heaping scoop of vanilla ice cream.

While you have the option of getting the Pizookie with or without ice cream, we maintain that there is only one choice to make here: one scoop or two? 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

TIRAMISU Antonio’s Consider this your comfortable, traditional-style Tiramisu. You know, the kind that’s simply and elegantly ladyfingers soaked in rum and espresso, then covered with mascarpone cheese and a light dusting of cocoa. Is there any other kind? And like good traditional-style Tiramisu, this one leaves you in that perfect mood, somewhere between buzzed and all jacked up. 1215 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 875-8800.

LILIKOI CRÈME BRULEE Mama’s Fish House All crème brulees are not created

equal. Out of the plethora to choose from, we’ve never met one we didn’t like. However, the Lilikoi Crème Brulee at Mama’s Fish House is exceptional. One bite sums it up: the hint of Lilikoi flirts with your sense of smell and taste, the creamy custard soothes your palate while the carmelized sugar melts in your mouth. 799 Poho Pl, Kuau, 579-8488.

GRANNY SMITH CARAMEL APPLE TART Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar Really, folks, it’s all about the caramel sauce. When paper-thin slices of apples spiraled on a delicate puffed pastry crust are paired with warm and luscious caramel, the planets align. Your palate is happy. Your belly is satisfied. And we’d be willing to bet, happiness follows later in the night as well. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286; 1881 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-0004.

STRAWBERRIES PANCINI Nick’s Fishmarket It’s not just about taste, it’s about the experience. Try Nick’s Ulupalukua strawberries, flambéd tableside in rum and Grand Marnier, served to you with drizzles of chocolate and caramel, then topped with powdered sugar. So if you’re on a hot date, there’ll be more flames at your table than you might have expected.

Oh, the fire of love. 2439 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-7224.

DOUGHNUT ON A STICK Kamoda Store A sectional sell-out. Literally, it’s a doughnut in sections and it sells out by nine every morning! What, dessert in the morning? How about… YES! If we could just limit sales to those 18 and over—that would cut down on the competition. Then we could sleep in ‘til 10.

Either way, get there within the next three weeks because the Kamodans are going on vacation and they stay shut. 3674 Baldwin Ave, Makawao, 572-7261.

A is for ahhh...

MACADAMIA NUT PIE Longhi’s This dessert is like that Pecan pie somebody’s mom used to make, only this one’s Hawaiianstyle with Macadamia nuts. It’s rich and delicious on its own, or try it warm and a la mode. A classic.

888 Front St., Lahaina, 667-2288; 3750 Wailea Alanui, Shops at Wailea, 891-8883.

TROPICAL FRUIT LUMPIA AND CHOCOLATE MOUSSE Pacific’O The Bittersweet Chocolate Mousse may sound ordinary but believe us—it’s anything but. The Lumpia is a pineapple banana puree wrapped in a crispy pastry and served with

macadamia nut ice cream. While we’ve gone back many times to decide which is better, what we’ve concluded is that you need to order both. Call us if you need help finishing them.

505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341.

DOUBLE HOT FUDGE BROWNIE SUNDAE Ruby’s Diner Winner of the Huge Dessert Award—the name pretty much speaks for itself. You can either have one for lunch, or have a burger for lunch and share the sundae with a friend for a healthier option. It’s one of those desserts that’s great for betting who can eat the whole thing.

And you both end up winning! Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. MTW

Ashley’s SOUTH SHORE CAFE Voted #1 Steak Outstanding Seafood Wine Spectator Award of Excellence

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Rev Up to

DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI

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Mondays Join Us for Monday Night Sports

Tuesdays - Family Night Kids Under 10 Eat Free

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Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Fish, chicken and ribs. Great food FAST at fast food prices! 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874-0788.

Aloha Grill - Wide assortment of burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd. 877-2400 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or takeout. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cafe Kiowi - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. Or for casual dining in a relaxed garden setting. 5400 Makena Alanui, Kihei 874-111.

Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kihei. 425 Koloa St. 871-7782 Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like

Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein, Sweet and Sour Pork, and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628 Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen. Sessions available Wed.-Sat. 150 Hana Highway, Kahului, 877-1414 Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course, 877–7461 Fiesta Time - Quality Mexican taqueria. Order a la carte or combo specials with the freshest ingredients.

1132C Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463 Go Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything we’ve seen on Maui, conveyor-belt sushi. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744 Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center, 871–6977 Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. Cool, quaint bar with margaritas aplenty. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to “take five.” 444 Hana Hwy, Kahului, 877–CUPS

Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. Call for buffet schedule. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051 Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Also offer catering services. 1900 Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888 Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas a la carte. Casual dining, various piñatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunch with a Southern twist.

1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites like loco moco and shoyu chicken. 97 Wakea Ave, Kahului 877-0121 Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave, Wailuku, 243-2243 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845 Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch takeout, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 242-4371 Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, datsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St, Wailuku, 242-9630 Wei Wei BBQ and Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches and soups.

Also featuring a Hawaiian menu with kava kava and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

SOUTH MAUI Antonio’s - Homemade Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

1215 S. Kihei Rd. 875-8800 Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd, 879-0133 Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner, burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods, deli sandwiches, 362 Hukulii Pl. (off Ohukai, south of Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600 BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari and chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875–0811 Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open daily. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8688 Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299 Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet. Lower level of Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844 Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more, including Sweet Paradise Prawns of New Caledonia. Reservations recommended. Ma’alaea Harbor, 244-5426 Caffe Ciao - Italian Cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100 Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879–2224 Cevoli’s Motorcycle Cafe - A bistro with pizza, pasta, ribs, fresh island fish, deli sandwhiches nightly entrees. 1280 S Kihei Rd., Azeka Plaza, 874-8377 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kahului. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. Eight pool tables. 2463 S. Kihei Rd., 874–8869 Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952 Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, allday lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000.

Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879–2607

DININGLISTINGS

the

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - A full espresso bar, hot and cold sandwiches, ice cream and more. Make sure to stop in for a great box lunch to go! 90 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8340 Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., 878-6874 Cafe O’Lei - Dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch, delicious salads, focaccia sandwiches. 11 a.m. to 4 p.m. Makawao Paniolo Courtyard, 573-9065 Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-6323 Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770 Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao, 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia, 579–9453 Colleen’s - 1940’s style city bistro atmosphere serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-9211 Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani, 572-2395 Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s awardwinning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile, 572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661 Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia, 579–8844 Jameson’s Grill & Bar - Featuring fine steaks, fresh local fish and seafood, and of course, baked artichoke.

200 Kapalua Dr., 669-5653

Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572–7241 Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway, 8781535 La Provence - French style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wednesday through Sunday, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313.

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun. thru Thu.; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri. and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009 Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711 Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave, Pukalani Square, 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia!

Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily specials. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia.

579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–8030 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808 SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring pupus, salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8742 Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300 A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines.

Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center, 667–0623 The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca.

Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566 Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily specials. Open late with full bar, pool tables. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with an Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly.

Overlooking Front Street, with ocean view. 730 Front St. 661-0700.

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar,

Rice Crispie Treats • Muffins • Brownies •

Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave, Kihei, 891-1120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road, 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874–6444 Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000 Spices - Steak, seafood and more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779 Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983

• Great Sandwiches • Mango Coffee Cake •

Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh and delicious sushi, open 5 p.m. to midnight daily.

100 Ike Drive, Wailea, 879-7677 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos,” too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m.

Mon.-Sat. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI Hula Moon - Enjoy breakfast, lunch, dinner or a champagne Sunday brunch with an open air tropical setting and spectacular ocean views.

Featuring fresh Hawaiian fish. 3700 Wailea Alanui 874-7831 Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900 Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! 1280 So. Kihei Rd., 874-TACO Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free.

Open Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

1993 So. Kihei Rd. 879-9258 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 875–1007 Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230 Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahimahi are just some of the specialties.

1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5 p.m. to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr., Wailea, 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees—ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., Shops at Wailea, 891–8883 LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a great bar and huge deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops, 243–2206 Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli Street, 244-9028 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874–4041 Cevoli’s Motorcycle Cafe - A Bistro with pizza, pasta, ribs, fresh island fish, deli sandwiches and nightly entrees. 1280 S Kihei Rd. Azeka Plaza, 874-8377 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer.

Breakfast is served till 3 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea, 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel, Wailea, 879–7224 Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads or wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875–7679 Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. Open for lunch (Mon-Fri) and dinner nightly. 1280 South Kihei Road, 874-0813 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10 p.m.

Birthday Cakes • Cinnamon Rolls • Scones

2 Baldwin Avenue Mon-Sat 7am-5pm Sunday 8:30am-2:30pm 579-8770

• Cookies • Lindsay Cake • Wedding Cakes

EVERY FRIDAY - 10PM - CLOSE

“SALSA NIGHT”

W DJ MIGUEL MEXICAN $3 MARGARITAS, $2 CORONAS $1 TEQUILA SHOTS SALSA, MERENGE, MARIACHI, BANDA, HIP HOP AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

BY CHEF ARTURO GONZALEZ

EVERY SUNDAY - 9PM - CLOSE

50% OFF SUSHI

$2 AND $3 DRINK SPECIALS OPEN MIC NIGHT W/JIM (DEVILTOWN) BRING YOUR TALENT AND SHOW IT OFF! ROCK! REGGAE! CLASSIC! RAP! COMEDY! MAGIC! POETRY! STUPID HUMAN TRICKS! DANCING - NO COVER

AND DON’T FORGET WE DO LUNCH MON-FRI - 11AM - 4PM W SUSHI STARTING AT 11AM A/C COMFORT, LIQUOR

PARKING UP FRONT AFFORDABLE FOOD W/ CHEAP DRINKS

FISH & CHIPS + DRINK FOR THE PRICE OF ONE COME TODAY AND GIVE IT A TRY! 843 WAINEE STREET • LAHAINA

662-8780

Specials not to be combined with any other promotions or offers.

Specials subject to change at any time.

Winecorner

Voted “Maui’s Best Place To Buy Wine.” -Maui Time Weekly

The Best Compliment To Any Food!

Biggest Beer Selection on Maui • Exquisite Wine Selection • Liquors

35 Hana Hwy. - Paia - 579-8904 LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

25

BEST BURGERS ON MAUI!!

Featuring Featuring The The Oldies Oldies But But Goodies Goodies Like: Like:

LEADER OF THE PACK Let your mouth savor the flavor of this sensational burger with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, red onion, and thousand island dressing.

BIG BOPPER The juiciest double burger that will tantalize your taste buds. Dressed with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, red onion and thousand island dressing.

MARILYN BURGER Some like it hot. All love this luscious burger covered with melted jack cheese and mild green Ortega chili with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, red onion, and thousand island dressing.

THE DUKE You can taste the great old west when you sink your teeth in this burger, starting with two delicious strips of bacon, melted cheese and two golden onion rings, all covered in our special BBQ sauce.

FRISCO Burger grilled on sourdough with melted cheese, mayo, lettuce and tomato. Grilled onions on request.

JAILHOUSE ROCK Burger with sauteed mushrooms, jack cheese on the French roll with mayo, lettuce, tomatoes, pickles, onion, and thousand island dressing.

Great Chicken Sandwiches, Salads, and Vegetarian Selections.

We also have

Come check us out for dinner; we have fresh

fish, hand cut steaks and ribs that are slow smoked

till they fall off the bone, then charbroiled in our own BBW Sauce.

Our full bar features great $3 drink specials

every day.

The Wharf Cinema Center $2 domestic drafts, Lahaina $2.50 well drinks Happy Hour 3-6 Everyday 667-0908 26

MARCH 25, 2004

DINING

DININGLISTINGS surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner.

Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St., Lahaina, 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island contemporary and traditional cuisine. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661–0937 Chez Paul - Fine dining French cusine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843 China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center, 669-5089 CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies, and more! Open daily.

2580 Kekaa Drive Fairway Shops, Kaanapali, 667-0968 Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining and Margarita bar - serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai.

Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and classic fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667–5117 Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, pupus, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266 Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi - great steamers! Open nightly. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina, 662-8780 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-8112 Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, Kaanapali, 669-5621.

Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661–8939 Giovanni’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italiain dining. Open for dinner. 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, 661-3160 Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience.

Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474 Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia.

Live music and DJ dancing weekly. Love All— Serve All. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7400 Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810 House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here. Old Lahaina Center, 667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in this 1940s style restaurant. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali, 667–6636 i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661–8422 Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food, eclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787 Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table!

2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali, 661-4500 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices!

Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs. Delivery available. Lahaina Marketplace, 661–9999 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie, with oceanside dining. Live entertainment. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661–4811 Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 6675555 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro.” Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472

Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Prkwy, Whalers Village, 661-4495 Lemongrass - Serving a la carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St., Lahaina, 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. Dancing upstairs on Friday nights. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665–6262 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all-you-can-eat specials and large bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too! Honokowai Marketplace, 662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more.

Maui Marriott, Kaanapali, 667–1200 ext. 51 Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper Mahi Mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai 665-0512 Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Family selections of healthy cuisine. Poolside. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali 667-2525 Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana 665-1822 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341 Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661–6633 Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636 Pita City Falafel - Greek, Kabobs, Shawarma Gyros, juice bar. Open daily. 658 Front St., Wharf Center, Lahaina, 667-7757 Pizza Paradiso - Voted “Best Pizza on Maui” since 1998. Award-winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Dine in or take-out, lunch and dinner.

Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 667-0333 Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award-winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole. 2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambience suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Kahana, 669–5000 Rusty Harpoon - Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village, Kaanapali, 661–3123 Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA Prime Steak, fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua, 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669–1500 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch and take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., 669-3539 Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558 Swan Court - One of the top 10 romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency, Kaanapali, 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it: Curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667–2814 The Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffetstyle rotating menu ranging from “Beakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.”

Special Mimosa and Bloody Mary menus. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200.

Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” Westin Maui, Kaanapali, 667–2525 Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466 Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 667–4044

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ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

Fractured Fairy Tale Into the Woods at the Iao Theater Who wouldn’t love a play that has in its dramatis personae Little Red Ridinghood, Cinderella and Jack from the Beanstalk?

Did I mention that everyone sings? It’s called Into the Woods, written by James Lapine with music composed by Stephen Sondheim. David Robinson is directing this new Maui OnStage version showing at the historic old Iao Theater in Wailuku.

It’s a musical, but we’re not talking State Fair or even South Pacific here. Consider it a Fractured Fairy Tale worthy of the Rocky and Bullwinkle show, a modern retelling of some very old stories, set to music.

Mirror, mirror, on the wall...

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But Little Red Ridinghood is a little more vicious than in her old tangle with the wolf.

Prince Charming has a bit more of an eye for the ladies than his previous appearance in Cinderella. A witch—who could be from any number of fairy tales, when you think about it—raps. Jack from the Beanstalk makes an appearance, as does Rapunzel.

The story begins as a routine “quest narrative,” as those theatrical people call it when the plot revolves around a man on a mission. In this case, the first act begins simply enough with a Baker and his Wife. Everything’s all fine and dandy, except that the Wife is cursed with sterility. To lift the curse, they must seek out various items: Little Red Ridinghood’s cape, Jack’s cow, a lock of Rapunzel’s hair. Only in the demented world of fairy tales could a cape, cow and hair follicles translate into fertility drugs, but hey! It seems to work here.

Then Act Two swings into gear and everything starts to get weird. And dark.

Remember the giant who lived at the top of the Beanstalk that Jack took out? Turns out his wife is pissed that the breadwinner’s dead so she comes back and demands vengeance.

“You get what you wish for just for a moment,” she sings. The consequences that follow can be pretty rough.

For obvious reasons, the play is challenging. Its narrative structure is unconventional, to say the least, and in no time at all the audience can get lost real quick. Bad singing—which can wreak havoc in a normal musical—will make a play like Into the Woods funny for all the wrong reasons. Far larger theater companies than Maui OnStage have run into problems.

“It is easy to admire Stephen Sondheim, much harder to love him,” wrote Charles Spencer, theater critic for The Daily Telegraph, during the late 1990s run of Into the Woods in London. “There is a cold calculation about his work, an ostentatious cleverness that holds the audience at a distance… Into the

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My what a sharp knife you have—all the better to gut you with!

Woods, first seen in New York in 1987, is one of his more accessible works, fresh, ingenious, often stimulating. Why, then, did I keep doodling the word ‘bored’ in my notebook?”

That’s why the director needs to be sharp.

David Robinson may be a newcomer to Maui OnStage, but his past history of running the Seattle Shakespeare Company, among other theater jobs, is comforting. In fact, he’s previously directed plays far more challenging than Into the Woods—Hamlet, Taming of the Shrew, Great Expectations, as well as Jesus Christ Superstar and Hair. He’s also currently adjunct faculty at Antioch University.

Though productions on Broadway and in

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London have been decidedly dark and mysterious, this one should run a bit milder.

Perhaps. “While oriented towards adults, this production is suitable for older children,” read a media advisory sent a few weeks ago.

Into the Woods runs as part of Maui OnStage at the Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, Mar. 26 through Apr. 18. Fri., Sat. shows start at 7:30 p.m., Sun. shows at 6 p.m.

Tickets $20 for adults, $18 for children and seniors ($2 more for each ticket purchased at the door). Tickets for children attending any Sun. performance are $12. For more information, call 242-6969. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

27

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

We’re A Happy Family Scooby-Doo franchise gets on a roll Children between the ages of eight and 12 years old will delight in the second installment of the Scooby-Doo franchise.

But that’s not to say that it should be shown on commercial flights where adults strapped into their chairs might have to endure the formula flights of fancy that the five member “Mystery Inc.” team of ghostbusters undergo. Primary colors det-

Scooby-Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed

★★★★★

onate as Scooby (Neil Fanning’s voice), Shaggy (Matthew Lillard), Velma (Linda Cardellini), Fred (Freddie Prinze Jr.) and Daphne (Sarah Michelle Gellar) attempt to mend their tarnished reputation when Coolsville is attacked by every creepy monster Mystery Inc. has exposed over the years. Seth Green is the cryptic curator of a new criminology museum displaying the monster costumes that suspiciously come to life at a gala event. Alicia Silverstone is a black-clad television reporter taking delight in the group’s chagrin over the fiasco. Scooby doesn’t go so giddy for “Scooby snacks” as he used to, but he and Shaggy do a funny rendition of “Strangers In The Night.”

Director Raja Gosnell (Never Been Kissed) returns from the initial ScoobyDoo movie to push the series forward with the aid of returning screenwriter James Gunn (The Dawn Of The Dead) and the “Mystery Inc.” gang. The permanence of the ensemble gives Monsters Unleashed a spine of purpose that carries over into every second of screentime. The cast is visibly more comfortable in their roles and affect the wacky physicality and vocal intonations of their cartoon predecessors with laser-like accuracy. Matthew Lillard and Linda Cardellini are especially watchable for the subtle layers of innuendo they

Ruh-roh... No innuendo here create with constant smirks and grins that encircle their mouths.

Matthew Lillard has clearly given a lot of thought to his character’s secretly disclosed marijuana habit and the ways that it plays on Shaggy’s motivations. In the story, Shaggy’s obsessed with reforming his slacker ways to helping to the gang solve mysteries. His paranoia, that he and Scooby are too indolent, is pitted against Velma’s shy desire to enter into a romantic relationship with Patrick (Seth Green), and Fred and Daphne’s aspiration to represent the group as a responsible and important members of society. These beautiful layers of subtext set up Fred and Daphne as parental figures looming over Shaggy and Velma, with Scooby as the child-

hood fantasy character capable of anything and afraid of everything.

The formula for the movie closely follows the original cartoon’s narrative map. It’s a recipe once removed from the teen mystery book series The Three Investigators wherein an aroma of the Wild West allows for villains who shroud their attempts at power behind looming fabricated monster figures. In Monsters Unleashed there’s a monster-making machine that churns out the threatening evil giants in a giant warehouse lab. Although the film’s rapscallions, Jeremiah Wickles (Peter Boyle—Young Frankenstein) and Dr. Jonathan Jacobo (Tim Blake Nelson—The Good Girl) don’t get as much screentime as they deserve, the actors give pitch to their

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characters that resonates with their colorful surroundings.

Beyond the fast-paced chase sequences that make up much of the movie are a couple of dance scenes that carry plenty of funky charm.

When Scooby dresses up like an afro wearing pimp to go undercover to a nightclub frequented by the town’s badguys, he ends up on the dance floor busting some funky moves that are impressive even by human standards. The audience never stops to question the inclusion of our CGI Scooby as anything other than the cartoon Great Dane come to three-dimensional life. It is, after all, Scooby’s innocent charm and endearing cowardice that makes the series tic. Scooby Doo is still a very good dog. Rated PG. 93 mins. MTW

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MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CAFÉ & CINEMA An Academy Award nominee for best animated film, it debuted at the Cannes Film Festival to standing ovations and is a charming tale of an old woman who, with her faithful dog and a trio of eccentric ‘30s era singing sensations, crosses the sea to rescue her grandson from the Tour de France. Winner of the Best Animated Feature Award from The New York Critics Circle. PG-13.

80 min. Tickets: $8 w/MFF passport. $10 single.

translated the lives of Fred, Daphne, Velma, Shaggy and Scooby to the big screen as Scooby and the Mystery Inc. gang return in this adventure in which they must investigate the reappearances of several of the creatures from the classic TV show.

The Ladykillers - (R) - Crime Comedy - The plot of an eccentric professor-turned-criminal-mastermind (Tom Hanks) to commit the massive heist of a New Orleans riverboat casino appears to be thwarted by the actions of Mrs. Munson, the seemingly-innocent little old landlady of the place that he and his three accomplices are staying in, and from which they want to dig a tunnel to where the casino's money is kept.

The Prince & Me - (PG) - Romantic Comedy - Starting her education at an Indiana university, a free-spirited American college student and motorcycling enthusiast (Julia Stiles) falls in love with one of her classmates, but what she doesn't know is that he's actually a Danish prince (Luke Mably), who is spending his "gap year" before having to perform his princely duties by hiding in America disguised as a regular guy.

Wednesday, March 31

Now Showing

Friday, March 26 The Triplets of Belleville 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater

Japanese Story 5 & 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater

Winner of the equivalent of three Australian Film Oscars. Hoping to strike up a business deal, an Australian geologist (Toni Collette) agrees to take a Japanese businessman (Gotaro Tsunashima) on a field trip around Western Australia's remote Pilbara desert in this cross-cultural journey called "A Haunting and Hypnotic Tale of Love" by Peter Travers (Rolling Stone) and "A Stunning Film Smoldering with Sensuality" by Kevin Thomas (LA Times). Rated R. 99 min.

New This Week Jersey Girl - (PG) - Romantic Dramedy - A smooth, Manhattan music publicist (Ben Affleck) has just married the love of his life (Jennifer Lopez) and has a child on the way. It's a perfect life that is tragically upended when he suddenly finds himself a single father unqualified for his new role. Losing his job, he is forced to move back to the New Jersey suburbs, where he meets a beautiful young friend (Liv Tyler) who, along with his daughter (Raquel Castro), opens him up to love and courage again.

Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - (PG) - Family Comedy - The sequel to the 2002 hit that

Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination london - (PG) - Action/Adventure - Agent Cody Banks (Frankie Muniz) returns as a rogue CIA agent (and Cody’s own trainer) has stolen a top secret mind-control device, and Cody has to go undercover in London to get it back.

Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - (PG) Comedy - A teen (Lindsay Lohan) is convinced that her home city revolves around her until her family packs up and moves to the suburbs.

Dawn of the Dead - (R) - Horror - The United States is turned upside-down by a strange plague-like event in which millions of corpses walk the earth as bloodthirsty zombies and multiplying rapidly. A small group of survivors, which include a nurse (Sarah Polley) and a police officer (Ving Rhames), try to find and protection within a massive shopping mall in Everett, WA. Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights - (PG13) Romance - Schooled by her parents in the art of ballroom dancing, an American teenager (Rene Laven) finds herself drawn to a proud, strong waiter (January Jones) who is a brilliant dancer. Meeting secretly in an out-of-the-way Havana nightclub, they practice their steps with sensual harmony that mirrors the passion between them and are unaware that the country club, along with streets of Havana itself, are about to erupt in revolutionary violence.

50 First Dates - (PG13) - Romantic/Comedy - An aquarium veterinarian (Adam Sandler) in Hawaii falls in love with a young woman (Drew Barrymore) with a severe case of short-term memory loss, which means

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she never remembers meeting him, so he has to keep getting her to fall in love with him, over and over again.

Hidalgo - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - This epic adventure is based on a true story of the greatest long horse race ever run. In 1890, a wealthy Sheik (Omar Sharif) invited an American cowboy (Viggo Mortensen) and his horse to enter the greatest long horse race ever run, putting them against the world’s greatest Arabian horses and Bedouin riders, whom were determined to prevent the American from finishing the race. For the cowboy, the race not only becomes a matter of pride and honor, but a race for his very survival.

Lord of the Rings 3: The Return of the King (PG13) - Adventure/Fantasy/Drama - The epic finale of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic Lord of the Rings books. Starring Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, John RhysDavies, Ian McKellan, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett and more.

Monster - (R) - Thriller - Based on the true story of Aileen Wuornos (CharlizeTheron), who was executed in Florida for murdering seven men in the ‘80s. She had a cruel childhood plagued by abuse and drugs and by the age of 13, became a prostitute servicing the desires of semi-truck drivers, while maintaining a lesbian relationship with Selby (Christina Ricci).

Mystic River - (R) - Drama - A taut, multi-layered story of friendship, family and innocence lost too soon that involves a group of childhood friends bound by tragedy that are reunited 25 years later by another tragic event involving the murder of one of their daughters. Stars Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Clint Eastwood, Tim Robbins, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden.

Passion of the Christ - (R) - Drama - This is the story about the last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ (James Caviezel), on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem. The film's script is based on several books, including the diaries of St. Anne Catherine Emmerich (1774-1824) as collected in the book, The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the New Testament books of John, Luke, Mark and Matthew.

Secret Window - (PG-13) - Thriller - Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp) is a writer just coming off of a difficult divorce with his ex-wife (Maria Bello) and finds himself being stalked at his remote lake house by a psychotic stranger (John Turturro), who claims Mort stole his best story idea.

Spartan - (R) - Thriller - Secret Agent Robert Scott (Val Kilmer) is paired with novice agent Curtis (Derek Luke) to find the president’s daughter (Kristen Bell), who is the victim of a kidnapping.

Starsky & Hutch - (PG-13) - Action/Comedy - In 1970, Bay City police detectives Hutch (Owen Wilson) and Starsky (Ben Stiller) always get the toughest cases from their uptight boss Captain Dobey, so they rely on the knowledable street informer, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg). This time, they meet again with someone from their first big case which involved a former college campus drug dealer (Vince Vaughn) who ventured on to become a white collar criminal.

Taking Lives - (R) - An FBI special agent (Angelina Jolie) becomes entangled in an unexpected romance as she struggles to solve a case with a serial murderer who assumes the lives and indenties of his victums. Also stars Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez and Gena Rowlands.

You Got Served - (PG13) - Comedy - A pair of friends (Omari Grandberry and Jarell Houston) want to open their own hip-hop dance and recording studio, but in order to do that, they must first win a street dance competition against another group of street dancers to prove that they have what it takes.

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2411 S. KIHEI ROAD • 875-4356 LETTERS

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MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Dawn of the Dead - R - Th (12:30, 1, 2:45, 3:15, 5, 5:30), 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10, Fr, M-W (1, 1:30, 4, 4:30) 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (1, 1:30), 4, 4;30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10 Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - PG13 - Th only (12:45, 2:50, 3, 5:15) 7:20, 7:45, 10 50 First Dates - PG13 - Th (12:30, 1:15, 4:15, 5) 7:30, 9:30, 9:50, Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:20, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:20, 9:45 Hidalgo - PG-13 - Th (1, 1:30, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:30, 10, Fr, M-W (1, 1:30, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:45 Sa (1, 1:30), 4, 4:30, 7, 7:45 Jersey Girl - PG13 - Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:30, 9:55, Sa-Su (12:30, 2:50), 5:10, 7:30, 9:55 Ladykillers - R - Fr, M-W (12:45, 1:15, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:30, 9:30, Sa-Su (12:45, 1:15), 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th only (12:30, 4:30), 8:30 Monster - R - Th only (1:30, 4:30) 7:15, 9:45 Mystic River - R - Th only (1, 4), 7, 10 Prince & Me - PG13 - Sneak Preview! Sa 7:30, Su 2:45 Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - PG - Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 2:45, 3:15, 5, 5:30), 7:15, 7:45, 9;30, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 2:45, 3:15), 5, 5:30, 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10 Spartan - R - Th (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Fr-W 9:50 You Got Served - PG13 - Th (12:45, 3, 5:15), 7:40, 9:55, Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:45,5,), 7:15, 9:45, Sa (12:30, 2:45), 5, 9:45, Su (12:30) 5, 7:15, 9:45

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Agent Cody Banks 2 - PG - Daily (1, 3:20), 5:35, 7:50, 10:05 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - PG Daily (1:15, 3:15), 5:45, 7:45, 9:45 Passion Of The Christ - R - Daily (1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 10 Secret Window - PG13 - Daily (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Daily (12:30, 2:50) 5:10, 7:30, 9:50.

Taking Lives - R - Daily (12:50, 3:05), 5:20, 7:40, 9:55

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Hidalgo - PG13 - Th (1:15), 4:15, 7:45, Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:45, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30 Passion of the Christ - R - Th (1), 4:15, 7:30, Fr- Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50, Su-W (1:15), 4::30, 7:45 Scooby Doo 2: Monsters Unleashed - PG13 - Fr-Sa (1:30), 5, 7:45, 10, Su-W (1:30), 5, 8 Secret Window - PG13 - Th only (1:30), 4:45, 8 Starksy & Hutch - PG13 - Th (1:45), 5, 8:15, Fr-Sa (1:45),4:45 7:30, 9:45, Su-W (1:45), 4:45, 8:15,

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Agent Cody Banks - PG - Th only (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 Hidalgo - PG13 - Th (1), 4, 7, 9:45, Fr-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:50, M-W (4), 7, 9:50 Taking Lives - R - Th (1), 4, 7, 9:45, Fr-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:30, 9:45, M-W (4), 7, 9:50 ( Scooby Doo 2 - PG - Fr-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7;15, 9:30, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 9:30 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Th (1:30) 4:30, 7:30, 9:40, Fr-Su (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45, M-W (4:45), 7:30, 9:45 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Dawn Of The Dead - Th (11, 1:30), 4, 7:15, 9;45, Fr (1:45, 4:15), 7:30, 9:55, Sa-W (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:30, 9:55 Passion Of The Christ - R - Th (11:30, 2) 4:30, 7, 9:30, Fr (2, 4:30), 7, 9:30, Sa-W (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7, 9:30 Secret Window - PG13 - Th (11, 1:30), 4, 7:15, 9:45, SaW (11, 1:30), 4, 7:15, 9:45

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* with MFF passport (5 films - $35) • $10 - single tickets Phone: 572-3456 • www.mauifilmfestival.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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29

Ultimate Fighting Sunday, 6:30 p.m. at War Memorial Gymnasium in Kahului That’s right kids, it’s Super Brawl Time. Super Brawl XXXIV, to be exact. And for the first time on Maui. The Main Event’s going to be quite a battle, with Number One-ranked Falaniko Vitale from Honolulu going up against “a dangerous up and coming fighter from Arizona” named Keith Winters. Wow, Arizona. Must be tough. Other fights include Ed Ferreira (Maui) vs. Cory Daniels (Honolulu); Ed Seafross (Maui) vs. Ray “King Kong” Seraille (Honolulu); and Kolo Koka (Honolulu) vs. TBA. TBA?! I saw that guy fight last year. He’s a pushover, got a glass jaw.

Should be a lot of great matches, even if they can’t sell booze. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

Celtic Invasion Friday, 9 p.m. at The SandBar; Saturday, 2 p.m at Borders Books; 8 p.m. at Mulligan’s; Sunday, 3 p.m. at St. John’s Episcopal Church, Keokea Clapping, cheering, feet stamping, bagpipes, fiddle, whistles, guitar, bouzouki and a leaping piper—no, it’s not just a typical night at my house—it’s what the Celtic music band, Molly’s Revenge, have in store for Maui this week!

Performing the traditional music of Ireland, Scotland and England, Molly’s Revenge promised to “show off pyrotechnical musicianship” at their energetic performances. Which basically means you’re gonna be dancing a jig, guaranteed. And hey, there’s nothing wrong with that. Unless, of course, someone brings a camera. Best not to think about it.

s i th

week’s Artery Art Daily through Tuesday, March 30, 10 a.m.-5 p.m., at The Artery in Paia This is the first major exhibit for prolific local artists Jerry Morgan and Ray Masters. Ray Masters’ playful work utilizes DJs, dancers, surfers and his beloved cats, all integral parts of his life on Maui, with a definite surrealist edge. Already popular in the art and sports worlds, he has been commissioned by tennis legend Chris Evert to be the official artist for her glamorous Pro-Celebrity Tennis Tournament and Charity Gala and has also been the official artist for the CART/CARA Runway Madness Charity since it’s inception. Jerry Morgan, a Maui resident for 25 years, simply calls his work “Island Pop Art.” His sculptures can also be seen locally in the Maui Ocean Center, outside Chris Lassen Galleries in Lahaina, Paia Fish Market and Hi-Tech Surf Shop.

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Classic Guitar Chick Overachiever Monday, 7:30 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC Sharon Isbin has studied with Andrès Segovia, received a Masters degree in music at Yale, authored Classical Guitar Answer Book, is Director of the guitar departments at the Aspen Music Festival and Juilliard, won Critic’s Choice Recording of the Year in both Gramophone and CD Review, Recording of the Month in Stereo Review, Album of the Year and Best Classical Guitarist in Guitar Player, won a 2001 Grammy Award for Best Instrumental Soloist Performance, as well as a 2002 Grammy, sold out performances at Carnegie Hall and the Kennedy Center, and IN HER SPARE TIME enjoys “trekking in the jungles of Latin America, motorcycling through Greek islands, cross-country skiing, snorkeling and backpacking.” Um, so I’m thinking she probably plays guitar pretty well. Yeah, whatever. I can play “Mary Had a Little Lamb” without looking at the sheet, okay.

picks

by Sam Campos

Bombdiggitty Saturday, 4 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC This is the annual reggae and contemporary Hawaiian music extravaganza that features a bevy of local bands, including Crazy Fingers, RodaFire, Keahiwai (pictured left), Zacc Kekona & Bubs, Ten Feet, Pati, Aloha, Da Braddahs, Ho‘onu‘a and special guests.

There’ll be food and libations, too, as the gates open at 2:30 p.m. Imua!

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MARCH 25, 2004

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DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS Dashboard Confessional - Friday. Alternative Rock. Tickets: $20. 6 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 1-877750-4400.

Bombdiggity - Saturday. Budwiser True Music presents this annual reggae and contemporary Hawaiian music event. The entertainment line up is: Ho’onua, Ten Feet, Opihi Pickers, Zacc Kekona, Keahiwai and more! Gates open at 2:30 p.m. Tickets: $20. 4 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

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Na Leo - April 3. Na Hoku Award-winning female trio performing contemporary Hawaiian music. Tickets: $10-28. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

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Baaba Maal - April 8. Afro-pop master and his Sengalese nine-piece band combine traditional African sounds with reggae, rap, R&B and salsa. Tickets: $26, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY

The Second City - April 29. Chicago’s legendary comedy theater performs sketches, songs and improv.

Tickets: $20-30. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 2427469.

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MARCH 25, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

Sharon Isbin - Monday. Isbin has been hailed as “the pre-eminent guitarist of Jazz, Latin American and folk music of our time. Also a two-time Grammy award winner, acclaimed for her extraordinary lyricism, technique and versatility. Tickets: $28-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

Near Foodland

Celebrate Lei Day With The Brothers Cazimero - May 2. Remarkable entertainers, the Brothers are known for their absolutely beautiful harmonies and acoustic stylings. The award-winning performers will be joined on stage by Kumu Hula Leina’ala Heine. Tickets: $35 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC 242-7469 .

EVENTS FRIDAY, MARCh 26 East Maui Taro Festival - Fri-Sun 9 a.m.-5 p.m. at Hana Ball Park, Hana. Celebrate Hawaii’s traditional staple—Taro—along with a fish harvest, live music, hula , arts and crafts. For info, call 248-8972.

Ho’opi’i Ohana Celebrates Kuhio Day - 6-9 p.m. at Ka’anapali Beach Hotel. Celebration of Hawaii’s unique royal holiday Kuhio Day, along with food and live performance at the Tiki Courtyard. For info, call 667-0165.

Maui-Sardinia Sister Island Festival - 5-10 p.m. at Pa’ia Community Center. Introduction to history, and similarities of the both island. along with exhibts, and artist appearance. For info, call 573-6586

SATURDAy, MARCh 27 Paukukalo Hawaiian Homestead Community Assn's Prince Kuhio Celebration - 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at the Paukakalo Hawaiian Homestead Park. This event includes live entertainment, food, along with fundraising booths. For info, call 242-6923.

2nd Annual Maui Gift of Life Race and Fun Walk - 7-11 a.m. at Keopuolani Park, Kahului. This event is held to educate the public on awarness about organ donations and to raise funds to help fight Kidney disease. For info, call 986-1900.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Benny Uyetake, Mon; Maurice Bega, Tue. All sets from 7:3010:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

thursday3/25

friday3/26

saturday3/27

sunday3/28

monday3/29 – wednesday3/31

DJ JD, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Hawaiian contemporary, No cover, 10pm

Closed

Mon - Curtiss Williams & Guest; Tue - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata w/Vanessa Rodriguez; Wed - Soul Concepts w/Curtiss Williams; All shows 10pm-1am, No cover

No information available

No information available

No information available

No information available

Parrot Heads 9:45pm

Tropix Orgasmix $7adv, $10 door, 9:45pm

Gomega Fest $7 adv, $12 door, 9:45pm

Wed - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

Tue - Twangers, No cover, 9pm

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

BREAKWATER

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2266

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT

Sirios B Project, Funk $5, 8-11pm

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI 843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

Rockin’ Sushi w/ACE’s Radio Rehab, No cover, 10pm

GIOVANNA’S

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Open Mic Night, with Jim (Deviltown), 10pm

Hau Phatt $5, 10pm

The Edge $5, 10pm

Scratchalicious, DJ Boomshot, DJ Twist, 9pm

Mana’o Radio Benefit 9pm

2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, Lahaina 661-3160

The Twangers No cover, 9pm

JAWZ TACOS

1279 S. Kihei Rd. Azeka II - 874-8226

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

MGD Band No cover, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9pm

El Nino, No cover, 7pm

Da-Haw-Y-ans No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli, No cover, 6pm

Crunch Pups, $5, 9:30pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

The Carroll Brothers, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Mon-Wed - Da-Haw-Y-ans, No cover, 6pm Wed - Karaoke, No cover, 9:30

Karaoke, No cover, 9:30pm

Mark Burnett No cover, 10pm-12am

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

MON - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

Road House Wrecking Crew No cover, 9pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE

MON - Willie K; Tue - Fat Tuesday, w/Fat Joe, 10pm; WED - Aloha Wed

LIVE MUSIC!

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Dr. Nat, Neto Peraza, $7, 8pm

Flava Zone

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

No information available

Anastasa & Niles No cover, 10pm-12am

Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, No cover, 9:30pm No cover, 9:30pm

LAHAINA COOLERS

Information not available

Have the time of your life!

© 2003 TPI GROUP

180 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661-7082

DISCO SUCKS!

ROCK N’ ROLL LIVES HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

SAT, MARCH 27TH

Place an ad with Maui Time Personals and meet other singles just like you.

LIVE MUSIC

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I US MU M M

PUPS RUNCH C 5 2 / R E 3 V O rs NO C Thu 9:30 ORM CIFIC ST A P E H T ER NO COV Fri 3/26 9:30 OBERTS ENNY R K IENRDS & FR Sat 3/27 E NO COV 9:30

THE HALE & BAND A V 8 A 2 Sun 3/ HOT LNO COVER 9:30 E ECLIPS 0 3 / OVER 3 C s O e N u T 9:30 TICS TYMYS P O 1 3 ER / V NO CO Wed 3 9:30

TH

MON, MARCH 29

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MARTY DREAD

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Call today

$5 COVER

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NEWS COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

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HAPPY HOUR! 3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3pm - 6pm 2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

33

DA KINECALENDAR Cafe O’Lei - Steve Argenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurante Pianist Rene Alonzo & Friends play light rock, country and blues during happy hour on Thursday from 3-6 p.m. and this Saturday from 8-11 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tue, Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, dinner and show $35, 810p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 6-9 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm Mon, Wed; Captain Billy Bones 6-8 pm; Tue; Ricardo Dioso 6-9 pm.,658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 6613636.

Cool Cat Cafe - Evan Schulman, Thu; Mike “Pelon,” Fri; Zach Schmidt, Sat; Damien Awai, Mon; How Phat, Wed. All sets 6:30 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 6670908.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Darrin Lenett, Fri. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie -Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho Tu; Damien Awai, open mic night 10:30-1:30pm Wed; Nino Toscan Thu-Fri; Kawika Lum Ho Sat; Damien Awai Sun All sets from 6:30-9:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and don, Brian & Damien, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Th; Ernest Pua’a and & Kawika Lynn; Fr; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music with Tracey and Farzad, Wed and Fri, 6:30-9 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

CENTRAL MAUI

Sea House Restaurant – Sun; Kapule Paoa 7 p.m., Mon, Fri, Sat; Kincade Basques 7-9 p.m. Tue; Polynesian dinner show 5:30 p.m., Wed,-Thu; 7-9 p.m.

Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 6691500.

Mañana Garage – Neto & Friends, Thu and Fri, 6:30 p.m.; Fortunato’s Magic, Fri, 7 p.m.; Neto & Hot Salsa, Sat; Neto Peraza, Tue; Bobby & Tula, Wed, 6:30 p.m.

33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Sir Wilfred’s at Whalers Villiage - Maui West Side Jazz, featuring some Maui’s greatest musicians, 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Lahaina, 6610202.

Jacque’s - Mon, Mark Johnston w/ Dustin, ambient jazz; 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thu, Mon, ; Joe Bennett, Fri; Mario & Will, Sat; Anastasia & Niles, Sun. All sets from 6 to 9 p.m. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 6674044.

Moana Cafe - Gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, Sun, 6-9 p.m.; vintage Hawaiian music, Wed, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Livewire Cafe - Mark Johnston, Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

RESORT SHOWS

SOUTH MAUI

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri, 3-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Sat, 4-6 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Kawika Lum Ho, Wed, 4-6 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

a n n a W e?

Danc

IN

THE

H EART

Hyatt Regency Maui

OF

“Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding” Tue, Thu, Sat, 6:30 p.m. at Spats Trattoria. Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:309:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thu, Sun-Tue; Larry Gollis, Fri and Sat; Stephanie Anderson, Wed; "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

WEST MAUI

Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Tu, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday

C ASANOVAT ’ SE F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT D ISCO !

T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

WARD

“B EST L ATE N IGHT I N M AUI ” MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

h

t 25 . r a ., m R U TH

T O R R S PAE D A H MUS

ARTS IC ST

@ 9:4

5PM

th

6 R. 2 A M , FRI.

X I P IX TRO M S ARTS @ 9:45DPMOOR G R O STA 10 AT C MUSVI ANCE • $ D A $7

H

T 27 .

R , MA SAT.

T S E F A G E M O G M 9:45P R RTS @2 AT DOO A T S 1 C MUSVI ANCE • $ D A $7

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For dinner reservations call 572–0220 • Log on at casanovamaui.com 34

MARCH 25, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

thursday3/25

friday3/26

LIFE’S A BEACH

John Moore Project No cover

Near Death Xperience, No cover

Fine Line, No cover

Parrot Heads, No cover

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

Mon - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; Wed - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm N/A, $5, 9:30pm

N/A, $5, 9:30 pm Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm

No information available

No information available

No information available

Service Industry Night

Mon - S.I.N., Service industry night; Wed - Karaoke night, w/Tyrone, 8-11pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 8:30pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 8:30pm

DJ Big Daddy Steve No cover, 8:30pm

DJ Tark, No cover, 8:30pm

Mon - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 8:30pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac/Dollar Night, $5, 8:30pm; Wed - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 8:30pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9pm

Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $10, 8pm

Molly’s Revenge $7, 9pm

Merv Oana, No cover, 10 pm

Mon - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; Tue - “Wailea Nights”w/Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $35 dinner, $10 show, 8-10pm; Wed - Open Mic Night, No cover, 9pm

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883 LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

saturday3/27

Dr.Nat

sunday3/28

Solo/duets and with Pacificaribe (3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band Rio Ritmo (6-9 piece) playing Salsa, Samba, Pop Latin

THE CLASH • THE CURE • VIOLENT FEMMES AND MUCH MORE!

Mon - Open Mic Nite; No cover, Tue - Big Mystery Guest, No cover, 8 pm Wed - Crunch Pups, No cover

“WELCOME TO YOUR NEW ADDICTION”

OPEN 10 AM 7 DAYS TO A WEEK CLOSE

Available for private events, parties & weddings

THU 3/25 • SPORTS PAGE • 9PM-12MID • KIHEI FRI 3/26 • ALE HOUSE • KAHULUI MON 3/29 • MOOSES • 6PM-9PM • LAHAINA WED 3/31 • LIFE’S A BEACH • 8PM-12MID • KIHEI THURS 4/1 • SPORTS PAGE • 9PM-12MID • KIHEI FRI 4/2 • ALE HOUSE • KAHULUI SAT 4/3 • BREAKWATER • LAHAINA PLAYING SONGS BY:

monday3/29 – wednesday3/31

Call 572-9536 for booking or visit website www.drnat.com

TOP FISHING BOAT IN LAHAINA SINCE 1974 Thanks to all of those who voted

Island Ink the “Best Tattoo Shop” on Maui 100 HANA HWY. PAIA 579-9461 WWW.ISLANDINKTATTOO.COM

FINEST KIND 37’ MERRITT REEL HOOKER 35’ BERTRAM EXACT 31’ BERTRAM IKAIKA KAI 31’ BERTRAM

661-0338

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Tune in for: Nickelback Audioslave Staind A Perfect Circle Jet & more

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PL AY IN G

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LETTERS

NEWS COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

35

DA KINECALENDAR

Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Colonnade Asian Noodle Cafe: Benny Uyetake, Thu-Fri, Tue-Wed; Mitch Kepa, Sun-Mon both 6-9 p.m.; Mitch Kepa, 5:30-8:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922

Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI

Maui Sports Council Presents “Maui Brawl 2004” - 6:30 p.m. at the War Memorial Gym in Wailuku. The first time ever on Maui will headline ultimate fighting matches, along with 808 Fight Factory Harris “Hitman” Sarmiento, Ice Cold” and many more.

Tickets $30-$75. For info, call 808 375-1645.

lECTURES

THURS After 9pm

WEAR A SKIRT & GET $2 DRINKS!

Where the Locals “Hang Loose”

POOL TABLES LOUNGE TV’S

Why Whales Do That - Daily, 12:45 and 3:15 p.m.

Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea. Free presentation focusing on the intriguing behavior of Hawaii’s humpback whales. For info, call 249-8811.

Keala O Kalani Speaks on Ho'oponopono Training - Sat 9 a.m.-4:40 p.m. at Liliuokalani millyard, Wailuku. Ho'oponopono is a self-help process of correcting the problems, "dis-eases" and stress in our daily lives through self-awareness. For info, call 870-6182.

SPORTS BAR

505 FRONT STREET LAHAINA / 667-4051

STAGE

KEIki Kiwanis' Kids Day - Sat 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului. Keiki ID’s and informational brouchures, with live entertainment. For info, call 242-6102.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to

iel J DJ DanBrown & Lucpkm y$3 cover

WEDNES D E T

MA

R G A RITA VI

EVERY WEDNESDAY 9PM - CLOSING The Woman to Blame $2 Shot of Margaritaville tequila

calendar@mauitime.com

Your Own Damn Fault $3

or fax (808) 661-0446

Blue Moon Margarita $3.25

Margarita on the rocks Margarita with blue curacao & pineapple Mango margarita

Munchies 10pm - Midnight: Flautas OR Chimis with salsa: $4.95 Served till midnight or when we run out!

1/4 lb. Cheeseburger, Chips & Salsa: $3.25

WIN! Logo shirts and other cool stuff!

DA KINE CALENDAR

ts...

esen eltic Pr Maui C

nge e v e R s ’ MigohllEynergy Celtic Music r $5 cove

9pm

Saturday c i s u M Live Announced To Be

8 3/2

9pm

Sunday

e Music

y for th

& Sta akfast

es 2pms n o J r o Trev DJs Yosef & Ra r Bre

Come fo

Reggae 9pm

r $3 cove

ayi Menu! d n o 9 M 2 3/ ck Out Our Martin and B z z a J Live

Che

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DRINK SPECIALS

Midori Margarita $3.75 Cerveza Grande $2.25 14 oz Coors or Coors Light draft

MARCH 25, 2004

Friday

6 3/2

Show

0 3/3

Tuesday

1 3/3

ay Wednesd

oove ical Gr

s of...

ct re Proje o o M n The Jo9hpm FREE Live Music ust he Aco Enjoy t

Last Mango in Paris $3.75

36

ts

Presen

7 3/2

ART Avalene Gallery Presents “Island Elements” Sat 5-8 p.m. A night reception featuring paintings by Lisa Kasrzychi, wood paddles by Robert Blaak, and shell lei necklaces by Shavonn Eason. For info, call 572-8500.

ounge Sunn L

H

Maui OnStage Presents “Into The Woods” Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m. and Sun 6:30 p.m. at Iao theater, Wailuku. Based on the moral dilemmas as depicted through classical fairy tales. The cast features some of the most renowned musical talent on the island.

Tickets $22-$20. For info, call 242-6969.

A Life Teen Benefit “Art In The Park” - Sat-10 a.m.-2 p.m., Sun 10:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. at St. Theresa’s Church courtyard, Kihei. Demonstration and selling of art including watercolors and oils.

Thursday

5 3/2

9

IN

Hawaiian entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri.

SpORTs

night

S DAY

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100

Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

LL E

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031

Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211

WAS

"Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

SKIRT

cle er’s Cir e Winn h T in o J

ent

nam r u o T l Poo ’ Up at Rackem

MON-SAT 11AM-2AM

8pm

SUN 8AM-2AM

thursday3/25

friday3/26

DJ Daniel J/Lucky Brown $3, 9pm

Molly’s Revenge $5, 10pm

Live Music $5, 9pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Cruch Pups, No cover, 9:30pm

The Perfect Storm No cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends No cover, 9:30pm

Hot Apple Pie $3, 9pm

Planet Seed, No Cover, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

SANDBAR & GRILL

89 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8742

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004 SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

saturday3/27

THURS 3/25

FRI 3/26

sunday3/28

monday3/29 – wednesday3/31

DJ Yosef & Ras Reggae, No cover 9pm

Mon - Live Jazz Band, No cover, 9pm; Tue - John Moore Project, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Pool Tournament, No cover, 8pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9:30pm

Tue - Eclipse, No cover, 9:30pm; Wed - Optymystics, No cover, 9:30pm

SAT 3/2 7

D 3/31E E W E 3/30 KARAOKDAYS SUN 3/28 MON 3/29 TU Tini WEDNESu’s Star!

★

MERV MARGARITAVILLE THE MONSTER Tuesdays Be a LuL S.I.N. WILLY’S PROJECT NIGHT MONDAYS OANA THEMARGARITAS $ $3 $5(ANY FLAVA) $ SPECIALS! $ r SK flavo i 3 TOO MANY Any ff Martin IHE o mirn TO MENTION $3 CORONAS I RD NSTER S O PACIFICOS M • 879ANY HOUR HAPPY HOUR! DRINKS

3 3

COVER BAND

COORS LT DRAFT

STEINLAGER DRAFT

9944

LETTERS

NEWS COVER STORY

SURF

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$3 LULUTINI • $2 COORS DRAFT

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

37

EH BRAH!

TALK IS CHEAP

Custom Tattoos

c i s u M e Liv asts!

BroadWecek Live

Pain Free 12-9pm Mon-Sat Sun by appointment

Every i’s Premier au From M ic Venues Mus

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

WRITERS WANTED

Every Monday Night!

SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

Willie K

Ka’anapali Live Music

MauiTime Weekly seeks Freelance writers to cover stimulating community interest stories.

LIVE at

0 pm-1a 1 , y a d i m Fr

Send resume & samples to: 658 Front Street. #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 fax: 661-0446 email: editor@mauitime.com

Starts at 10pm Eddie Show Every Friday Night! & LIVE from Flipside Las Vegas Style Lounge Music

in Lahaina AZD & G-MONEY ALIZE TRANCE DAVIN TEVEZ RIGHTEOUS ROGER 2-COOL CRAZY CRAY MAGIC MIKE DJ HEAT

Check out their newest album “Island Girls” in stores now!

Show Starts at 10pm At the entrance to Ka’anapali Corner of Hwy & Ka’anapali Pkwy

Heard from the Kona coast to Oahu’s North Shore.

For info call 661-3160 LETTERS

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MARCH 25, 2004

38

TwâÄà fxÜä|vxá MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-521-6696.

Ad#4288 GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad# 4003

A place of Magic An hour of Pleasure A date with Beauty Sensual Bodywork

For Enchanting Titillating Touch 808.269.0814

CELEBRATE SACRED SEXUALITY Weekend playshops monthly, starting April 2-4. Celebrate love and passion, playful tantric energy exchanges, partnering, lovemaking, compassionate communication. Connect deeper with your partner or find new love; ideal for beginners.

244-4103 (Janet) www.schooloftantra.com

Sweet & Hot Girls for You 281-2872 In/Out Call

INANNA

To Honor & Nurture You

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

TOTALLY RELAX AND LET GO Come and experience my wonderful touch. Very sensuous, enjoyable & healing. 250-4557

CHARGE IT!

Tantric Healing Bodywork

264-6325

Susan 276-7706

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

We are

1.900.226.0169

WOMEN Seeking Men MAUI CHICK This nice, caring, outgoing 20-year-old chick smoker, with one son, wants a Maui boy, 19-21, who's looking for a long-term relationship. Friendship first. 826791 BEAUTIFUL CREATIVE SOUL Looking for successful, secure, upbeat, N/S SWM, 40-55, to enjoy the island beauty, share long walks, inspiring talks, memorable meals and sensational sunsets.

616262 LOCAL KINE GRINDZ 26-year-old professional SF, likes movies, beach activities, and working with children.

Looking fun, sociable, smart, funny man, 28-38, N/S, for friendship, fun times, and hopefully more. 848870 ATHLETIC GODDESS Attractive, athletic, open-minded SF, loves swimming, kayak surfing, salsa dancing.

Seeking financially secure, sweet, romantic, open-minded, conscious man, 35-50, w/good sense of humor, who loves surfing and travel. 821455 UP FOR SPORTS Petite, hazel-eyed fox in search of hunting dog for adventures in the woods.

827182

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Seeking smart, positive woman, 28-45, for possible LTR. 476538 COULD IT BE ME? SWM, 48, likes yoga, old world singing, kayaking, traveling, hiking. Seeking mature, open-minded, fun SF, 40-55, similar interests, friendship first, possible LTR. 603730

Maui Time

Gay/TG Friendly Preview Arcade

1.800.721.0152

CALL COSTS $1.99/MIN. MUST BE 18+

We’re not a Shack, We’re not a Boutique, We’re not a Tourist Trap!

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TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS USING A CREDIT CARD, CALL

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

Heaven Sent

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visit us online at www.mauitimepersonals.com

My Secret Garden

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To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920 ALOHA LADIES! SWM, 33, 5'9", 195lbs, light brown/hazel Capricorn, N/S, loves surfing, diving, the outdoors. Seeking fun woman, 18-40, for hanging out, dancing, beach walking, and more. 811772 A NICE RELATIONSHIP SWM, 51, employed, enjoys arts, movies, church and more. Seeking WCF, 30-40, N/S, for LTR. 393268 ARE YOU LOOKING? Can you see me? Can you see what's inside my heart? Look a little deeper.

SBM, 45, Leo, N/S, seeks woman, 32-50.

952237 ALL FOR YOU Male, 34, short black/dark brown, medium build, works for a delivery warehouse company. Seeking a woman, 5'2"-5'8", medium build. 949288 LAID-BACK SWM, 28, in service industry, Pisces, smoker, is looking to share beach walks, romantic dinners, and perhaps a bottle of wine with a woman, 21-31. 949876 MAUI ISLAND INVENTOR SWM, 36, likes outdoor activities. Seeking SWF, 18-37, for adventurous, fun times together. Let's rock! 926297 LOOKS GOOD, FEELS GOOD SM, 23, 5'8", short hair, easygoing, works in construction, in great shape. Seeking SF, 18-55, for fun times, friendship, possibly more. 967884 QUALITY TIMES AHEAD SAM, 48, good-looking, tall, educated, stable, government employee, pleasant personality. Looking for a pretty, slim, feminine SF, 30-45, has a good heart, for movies, dinner dates, more. 910486 IN SHORT This Maui man, 5'9", 175lbs, brown/blue, seeks an outgoing, spontaneous woman, with whom to pair up. 877287 HUNGRY? Male, 40, 5'9", 160lbs, in good shape, somewhat athletic, brown/brown, pastry chef and car rental agent, smoker, seeks companionship with a beautiful woman, 20-40.

860511

ALL I WANT SAM, 46, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WF, 25-49, smoker, who loves to party, for friendship and casual dating. 862808 ARE YOU OUT THERE? SM, 40, 5'9", 200lbs, long dark hair, hazel eyes, seeks fun-loving, non-judgmental lady, mid-20s to mid-30s, for sharing good times and happiness. 858448 COMPLETE ME SWM, 46, 5'11", average build, Libra, N/S, business owner, single dad, enjoys surfing, seeks woman, 30-45, N/S, for LTR. 822467

MEN Seeking Men OUTGOING AND FUN Nice Filipino SM, 18, laid-back, likes tennis, volleyball, cruising, partying, being around people. Seeking sweet, nice, outgoing man, 18-30. 717672 I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND SWM, 29, 5'10", 170lbs, brown/brown, likes to keep fit and healthy. Seeking a man to hold hands and conversations with.

652064 MUSIC IN MY BLOOD Open to anything! Laid-back male, 24, smoker, interested in playing/writing music, loves cruising. Open to kicking it with GM, 18-25, with similar interests. 548742

Finding your perfect match is easier than making your bed.

Weekly!

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Answer some basic profile questions about who you are and who you're looking for.

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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

39

AUTOMOTIVE AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES MOTORCYCLE & MOPED REPAIR Great Service, Top Quality Work and Competitive Rates. Behind the Train Station in Lahaina. Spencer’s Cycles, 264-2545

PRIZM Auto Detailing

WARREN & ANNABELLE’S Maui’s most fun and amazing show is looking to add: OLD ALBUMS 4 SALE P/T SERVER (Male & female) Must Moving & must sell this great collechave great personality & neat tion of old record albums. 4 boxes appearance. priced to sell. 808-661-3964.

HOUSEKEEPER $10/hour Applications available Mon-Fri 9 am4pm Warren & Annabelle’s 900 Front St., Lahaina No phone calls or faxes please.

BUY & SELL

ISLAND COINS & STAMPS WE BUY & SELL •coins •tokens •medals •paper money •stamps •Hawaiiana •sport collectibles

667- 6155

MARCH SPECIAL!

ANY CAR $90 For A FULL Detail (Any full size truck, van or SUV - $100)

Offer Valid Thru March ‘04 Mention this ad when making appt.

CALL KELI’I at 276-3738

3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

& SELL$ $BUY JEWELRY . ART HAWAIIANA . CD’S MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS MISCELLANEOUS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA

35

$ WAS

Iinnclu des : wa sh, vac uum ,, wh eels , tire s&

CAR

H

wwinin ddoow wss

CLASSIFIEDS

283-7725

40

UNEMPLOYED? Healthcare for the entire family, $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, includes dental, Vision, pre-existing conditions accepted, unlimited usage, 500,000+ doctors, 800-528-4052, limited time offer. (AAN CAN) CAREER POSITIONS Earn $12-$48 an hour. Full Benefits, paid training on Homeland Security, Law Enforcement, Wildlife, Clerical, Administrative and more. 1-800-3209353 ext. 2560. (AAN CAN) FLEXIBLE HOME Data Entry Work. $427 P-T, $8204 FT Guaranteed weekly. No experience necessary. Train on PC and start immediately! 800-488-5793. (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT USCG 100GT Master License, Paddi Dive Master, Certified Yoga Instructor seeks part-time in any or all fields, West Maui, Impeccable References, Reliable. Start 6/1/04 or earlier Call Greg at 949-872-5610 or email greg@rswlaw.net Interested in Political Careers?

Learn from professionals. Gain organizing experience on high profile campaigns to beat Bush through the Democratic Campaign Management Program. www.campaignschool.org.

888-922-1008. (AAN CAN)

CLASSIFIED

is accepting applications for the following positions:

Kitchen Line Cooks, Host(ess), Waitstaff and Retail Sales Qualified applicants will have the following: An outgoing, fun personality, good references, a desire to work hard and have fun.

Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina, 2-4pm

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

MUSIC & ARTS MUSICIANS WANTED GUITARIST NEEDED For All-Original Rock Band. Gigs, Touring. 250-6170

MUSICAL INSTRUCTION

Learn to Sing NICK DAMIS VOCAL STUDIOS LEARN • Pitch, Range & Breath Control

• Options When Singing • Survival Techniques & More Beginners to Advanced Develop Your Perfect Voice

Looking For A Little Experience?

CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:

(808) 250-1484 www.nickdamis.com

Is Seeking Interns.

Entry level positions. High school students okay. We will train.

• Must Be Bright & Adaptable • School Credit Possible

MUSICIANS AVAILABLE

• Work With A Fun Team • Gain Valuable Experience

Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3# EBAY OPPORTUNITY! MYSTERY SHOPPERS NEEDED $11-$33/hr. possible. Training National businesses need shoppers Provided. No Experience Required. to evaluate products and services.

For More Information Call 1-866-621- Must have email. 1-800-706-5507 ext.

2384 Ext. 7171 (AAN CAN) 9827. (AAN CAN)

MUSICIAN SERVICES

BLUE PAPAYA PRODUCTIONS Digital Recording Studio, Red Book Masters(Radio Quality), CD Graphic $ MODELS WANTED $ YOUTH For calendar magazine and artistic Design, Duplication & Packaging, COUNSELOR Reasonable Rates. 250-2240 or 572Make a difference in at-risk kids lives. print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 7166 Get paid to canoe, backpack and EXPOSE YOURSELF! make friends you’ll keep for life. Yearround residential positions, Excellent With one simple phone call, you can Healthcare for entire family salary & benefits. Online Application: reach up to 15 million young, active www.eckerd.org. Or send resume: and educated readers in more than $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, Career Advisor/ AN, Eckerd Youth 100 newspapers just like this one. Go includes dental, Vision, pre-existing Alternatives, PO Box 7450, to www.aancan.com or call this news- conditions accepted, unlimited usage, (AAN 500,000+ doctors, 800-832-9542, limClearwater, FL 33758. EOE.(AAN paper for more information. ited time offer. (AAN CAN) CAN) CAN)

NOTICES

CALL 661-3786

Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MARCH 25, 2004

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY

BARTENDERS UP TO $1000 PER WEEK! Bartender Positions Available. FT/PT. No Experience Required. Call 1-800806-0083 ext. 202. (AAN CAN)

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters

Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week* $11/week* $8/week*

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line *Does not apply to Backside or Adult Services. Please call for pricing details.

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

ICE HOUSE LOFTS Living in Tucson Just Got Cooler.∑ Award -winning modern design with 1920∂s authenticity. Studios-3BR∂s.

Pre-Construction availability $167K$441K. Conditional Sales Contracts only being taken. (520) 623-LOFT. www.icehouselofts.com Metro Partners Reality.

(AAN CAN)

S. & W. MAUI CONDOS from

$119,000

W. & S. MAUI HOMES from

$375,000

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 • Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 ROOMS FOR RENT ROOM FOR RENT In 2 Bedroom Furnished Condo. Private Bath, N/S, $750+ Deposit. Includes Utilities.

Available April 1st. 283-8256

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommate.com (AAN CAN)

SPACE WANTED

If not now, when?

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

SERVICES

FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 4/30/04

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com ISLAND ANIMAL CLINIC

SERVICES LICENSED ELECTRICIAN affordableelectricalandplumbing.com Consulting, Design & Installation.

283-4413

Love Your Pet! See Your Vet!

Cynthia Jo Trawick, DVM

LARGE & SMALL ANIMALS Preventive Medicine, Surgery, Dentistry, Flea & Tick Control

FANTASTIC CLEANING SERVICES We want to clean your office, house, condo units! Please call 2057036. You’ll see & feel the difference!

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

Haiku Market Place • 575-2811

CLASSIFIEDS

ORAL/HIV TESTING/ COUNSELING CLINIC @ Pukalani Community Center Wednesdays 9-11am; Paia Hawaiian Protestant Church Wednesdays 13:30pm; Wailuku Health Center Tuesdays 8-12pm & 1-4pm; Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center Thursdays 9am-12pm: Kihei Keolahou Congregational Church Mondays 11am-2pm. Community Clinic of MauiWailuku office Thursdays 1:30pm3:30pm. Results returned in 2 wks.

Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call Takako 984-2129

Maui Recycling Service

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786 FAX NUMBER 808.661-0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com WEBSITE www.mauitime.com MAILING 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI DROP OFF 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

CLASSIFIED LINE AD RATES 5 lines included – approx. 140 characters Frequencies of 1-8X $15 per week Frequencies of 9-26X $11 per week Frequencies of 27-52X $8 per week

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line

KOZMICBREEZE

✴

HEALTHCARE FOR ENTIRE VACATION RENTALS FAMILY CLEAN, AFFORDABLE $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, Accommodations in our vacation includes dental, Vision, pre-existing rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free conditions accepted, unlimited usage, Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or 500,000+ doctors, 800-738-1916, lim- www.wailukuhouse.com ited time offer. (AAN CAN)

ARIES: You relate well with Pele, the volcano goddess. Your sense of direction is strong. It’s urging you to bloom where you’re planted. Think globally yet act locally. Issues involving your parents are likely to haunt you this weekend.

TAURUS: Your love vibe is still strong. Your creative mojo is still full of possibilities. Finishing off the things that you’ve begun is of major importance. Close friends, family and relatives are in need of your attention. Manifest beauty.

GEMINI: You’re feeling more powerful and independent. Your energy is restored. Strange and unexpected things occur at work. Your social life holds a major pull for you. You’re tempted to plan a group trip while hoping it won’t compromise your freedom.

CANCER: Accepting yourself as a capable yet compassionate leader is a good goal. Be careful when negotiating with known bullies. Don’t allow resentment to taint your sense of grace.

Success can be measured by your tolerance and ability to navigate adversity.

LEO: With the wind in your mane you feel free to try some new things. Education and knowledge are the keys to breaking down prejudice.

Perfect love casts out all fear. Listen to music from an exotic location. Try a new language.

VIRGO: In order to keep your wealth you may need to give some of it up. Real wealth is dependent upon having a flow. Hording equals poverty. Sharing leads to expansion. Accept what you need and give away or invest with what you don’t.

LIBRA: Peacekeeping is best done without weapons. Look for people’s good qualities even when they’re having a hard time being nice.

Most people are angry because they feel like they have never been heard.

SCORPIO: Going through a struggle with friends can bring you closer together. Be gentle with yourself when it comes to recovering from an injury or an illness. Make a resolution to stop doing things that you know are harmful to your well-being.

SAGITTARIUS: If you’re a painter get all of your favorite colors ready. If you’re a songwriter or a poet make a list of your favorite rhymes and sayings. If you’re a thespian or a dancer get ready to show off your best moves.

If you’re a parent, play with your kids.

CAPRICORN: Home may have been a place of hardship for you in the past. The past is history, the future is a mystery and the present is a gift. Make your home the kind of place that invokes good feelings and invites guests.

AQUARIUS: Local environmental action is the most urgent. Bloom where you’re planted or die uprooted. The future requires things to be sustainable for the long term. Communicate what your needs are. Get friends to help you glean through information.

PISCES: Get in touch with your highest values. Activate your dreams. Get rid of junk that you seldom use. Cook a gourmet meal for someone you love. Receive or give a nice massage. Find 10 things that you are grateful for and write them down or talk about them.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Danica Patrick 3/25/82, Xuxa 3/27/63, John Popper 3/29/67, Julia Stiles 3/28/81, kozmickev@sunset.net

✴ ✴

✴

✴

✴✴

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

LOOKING FOR A HOME IN UPCOUNTRY MAUI

CALL

Sell your home to someone who will show respect for the property.

Hoping to find the personal home in Kula, Makawao or Pukalani. $450K-$750K price range Call 808-572-2839 or 808-384-8841 Ask for Moon-Sun Kang R (S) email moon-sun@diplomats.com

661-3786 CHARGE IT!

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

BY KOZMIC KEV

CLASSIFIEDS

✴

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 25, 2004

41

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

The Viking Chronicles One night a few weeks ago, Sonja and I walked into the Sly Mongoose in Lahaina and saw a Viking sitting at the bar. We knew he was a Viking because he had one of those helmets with the big horns, long reddish-blonde locks and tons of scraggly facial hair.

The Viking was sitting there with his stein of beer—okay, it was a can but whatever—and immediately noticed us gawking at him.

“I’m a horny bastard,” he said to us.

The Goose wasn’t very busy and Jen, who was bartending, said it was slow all night until the freaks of the universe all decided to come in—Mr. Viking notwithstanding. She even called fellow bartendress Donna to come in and save her, before we showed up.

We quickly discovered that the Viking sailed his vessel over from Oahu, his girlfriend dumped him, it was his 44th birthday and his civilian name was Dan. But we preferred calling him “Viking.” His crew, seeing that their captain had reeled in an audience, soon dispersed.

“What do you know of horns and religion?” the Viking asked Sonja.

“Only what I’ve seen on Dragnet,” she said, laughing.

Unperturbed, he launched into a diatribe about the Goddess and the Cycle of Life, related to some theory of love he described as The Hunt and the Hunted, and how he “worships the Goddess and manifests the God” and some other such Dan the Viking Man philosophies. I didn’t get all the details because I kept getting distracted by his hat.

More recently, on Friday I attended the Gomega Fest at the Ale House in Kahului sans any Nordic characters from the Middle Ages. Or any characters at all, actually. Nope, I went solo to check out all the bands, hip-hop artists and musicians.

But I did end up doing a Jägermeister shot with my little surfer girl friends Sara and Catherine, and former co-workers Joanne and Leanne, all of whom I hadn’t seen in a while. And another shot with my sweet dark lord, John from metal band Khrinj. And well, okay, another with a cute DJ boy I felt I needed to flirt with. And all while in the guise of reporting. I love my job.

And on yet another Monday, I blew in to the Hard Rock Café in Lahaina for a quick peek.

Marty Dread was there, on a reggae break and social butterflying his way around the bar, with girls sticking to him like rice on roe.

The place was packed, cute chicks filled the dance floor and most of my favorite Hard Rock bartenders were there. Doc made me a fantastic Tuaca Lemon Drop, George showed off pictures of his new baby, Seno gave me a quick hug and Stoobie lovingly flicked cardboard coasters at me.

And then there was St. Paddy’s Day with the girls down in Kihei. BJ, Amy, Kim and I all made festive hats for our evening’s celebration, which meant we didn’t get to Mulligan’s until quite late. And with Amy as our designated driver, we suddenly had license to get as drunk as possible. So on my hasty way to the bar, I ran into my old drinking buddy, Satan, whose wedding I recently missed due to one hellacious hangover. That and the blasphemy of my favorite little devil getting married off was enough to induce the next round of Mind Erasers before the girls and I grabbed our hot, red-headed siren Jessica and headed to Lulu’s, Life’s A Beach, Hapa’s and Kahale’s.

At Kahale’s, some lady tried to sell us her digital camera outside. Inside, we ordered a round of Chocolate Cake shots and met a nice lady named Jeanne.

“I’ve got menopause,” she said. “It’s when there’s a pause—o’—men in my life, get it?”

Yeah. I get it.

To top it all off, my editor and art director recently revealed their guilty pleasure in secretly loving Sinéad O’Connor’s 1990 hit “The Emperor’s New Clothes.” It was playing in the office as I was writing this here story.

“Yeah, rock it, Sinéad O!” said Rudi.

“That’s my girl!”

“Does she have hair yet?” asked my erudite editor.

They continued singing along. I’m still slightly disturbed by it, really. I don’t know if I can write anymore today. MTW

42

MARCH 25, 2004

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