Page 1

J U LY 1 7

2003

VOLUME 7

ISSUE 03

FREE

Best of

Maui

2003

Maui Time Weekly’s No Ka Oi Awards!

Goods & Services 4 • Sports & Leisure 12 • Eat & Drink 18 • A & E 30


Kawasaki enters the 4-stroke arena with the all-new, 3-passenger JET SKI® ATX-12F watercraft. It delivers the highest performance with the lowest possible exhaust emission levels, excellent fuel economy and clean and quiet operation. How’s that for a stroke of good fortune?

Maui Kawasaki. Experts in watercraft. Experts in fun.

Maui Kawasaki

150 Dairy Rd. • Kahului, Maui

808.877.7433

www.mauicarsandbikes.com • Open Daily 2

JULY 17, 2003


CONTENTS BEST OF MAUI WINNERS 4

Goods & Services From Best Adult Store to Best Place To Disappear From

12 Sports & Leisure

• Hiking, Biking, Kayaking • Packs, Tents & Camping Gear • High Performance Outdoor Clothing • Kama`aina Rates

From Best Place To Get Away From It All to Best Yoga Studio

18 Eat & Drink

From Best Free Entertainment to Best Saimin

The People Have Spoken?

30 A & E

DEPARTMENTS

From Best Political Cause to Best Street Character

6 DANCING FAIRIES 13 LOCAL PORN

A&E 42

20 DRUNKEN HAZING

Hawaii’s Fruit of Kings by Sophia Faridi

26 COMFY BARSTOOLS

FILM CRITIQUE 40

Patagonia, Lowe Alpine, Mountain Harware, Nalgene, Primus, Seattle Sports Water Gear, MSR, Suunto Altimeter watches & more…

25 FIRST DATES 3 1 MORE LOCAL PORN

Unloading Firepower Bad Boys II () by Cole Smithey

32 GAY BARS 33 BIKE BIFFS

DAY&NIGHT

37 DINING LISTINGS

41 Movie Capsules & Times

51 KOZMIC BREEZE

43 this week’s picks

51 THE ADVICE GODDESS

44 Da Kine Calendar

52 PERSONALS

48 The Grid

53 CLASSIFIED LISTINGS

Maui’s Autosound & Security Specialists Quality Sounds • Quality Equipment • Quality Installation

•Clifford Arrow 5 Alarm System $249.99 Installed with Lifetime Warranty

56 BACK SIDE

•Sale on ALL Memphis Car Audio Speakers

COVER PHOTO & DESIGN: RUDI KING MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761

•ARC Audio 6 1/2 Coaxials $69.99 •Rosen All-In-One In-Dash DVD $1,499.99 Installed with 3 Year Warranty

office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

www.mauitime.com

Editor: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com Director of Advertising: Jeff Onderko jeff@mauitime.com Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com

Contributing Writers: Amy Alkon, Debralyn Andres, Samantha Campos, Sophia Faridi, Elaine Gast, Joe Gatto, Gannon Gilmore, Travis Henderson, Kellie Holliday, Ian Houston, Jerome Kellner, Koz McKev, Christy Miles, Jen Russo, Cole Smithey

Classified Advertising: Rob Kiger rob@mauitime.com

Photography: Sean M. HowermauiphotoR4U@aol.com, Kirsten Guenther, Ronnie Love

Calendar Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com

Distribution: Pacific Isle Circulation

Production Assistant: Lisa Lappe

Web Design: Liko Resources webmaster@likoresources.com

Editorial Intern: Ian Houston Student Interns: Kellie Holliday, Jaime Jackson, Debralyn Andres

Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2003 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly. Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Thursday 5pm

401 HO’OKAHI ST. UNIT 6

Circulation: 11,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

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s d r a w A i O a K o N s ’ y l k e e W e m i T i u a M

2003

Wow! I’m impressed! We made a ballot and you guys voted. It sounds basic but it was really great to see this country's democratic foundation at work right here on the rock we call home. Well, we did our part and counted them up (nope, we didn't send the ballots to Florida), we tallied the winners and will proceed to regurgitate the results for you in the next 27 pages. Just so you get to know each other, I will tell you this: Maui Time Weekly voters are exuberant! We had voters from ages 6 to 95, but the average age was 37 years old for someone putting pen to ballot. Women rule! Well, you should know that by now, but if you weren't sure, 58 percent of you voters were women, leaving 40 percent to the weaker of the sexes, and the remaining 2 percent of you not sure about what is between your legs. Maui voters came out in droves from every inch of this island, from Kaupo to Kahakuloa, but mostly everywhere in between. You work everywhere, too! From nurses to couch potatoes to contractors to servers, you all spared the energy to fill out the long ballot and apply postage. Pat yourselves on the backs, give yourselves a round of applause, you did a fabulous job of telling us what you think is best on Maui. Our newest line on the ballot was "other" giving you an opportunity to express your wild card ideas. We got some great suggestions for new categories: Best Place to Cook Your Sausage (a tie between Sausage Shack and Little Beach comes to mind), Best Hawaiian Food, Best Enchilada, Best Gas Station, Best Bread Balls and Best Internet Access. Many of you practiced terrible penmanship; I misread someone's comments as "Mulligan's is the Best Homo Bar," when my intern's sharper eyes corrected me, no that's "Homey Bar." Oh well, my mind is in the gutter as usual. I was most impressed by a ballot signed by Spike. He wins the ballot-filler-outer prize (call us up for your free Maui Taco burrito). He writes such thoughtful gems as "Fags play golf" for Best Golf Course, "Ya Fat Fuck!" for Best Place to Eat at 3a.m., and "Get some shoes and fuckin’ run and do pushups, hoorah!" for Best Gym. But he demonstrates he has fabulous taste with Versace getting his vote for best women’s clothing and Dairy Queen for best dessert. Spike, thank you for thinking outside of the box! We discovered, much to our dismay, that the majority of you are big box shoppers; you love K-Mart, Walmart, Costco, Starbucks, Ross, ABC Stores and Blockbuster. We weren't impressed there. What happened to voting and spending your money with the “mom-and-pops”, the little guys? I know living on the island is expensive, but think of the big picture! Well, you little corporate mongers read on and weep, ‘cuz we let you know what we think, too. [JR] MTW

Photos: Sean M. Hower 4

JULY 17, 2003

COVER STORY

Contributing writers include: Debralyn Andres, Samantha Campos, Elaine Gast, Joe Gatto, Gannon Gilmore, Travis Henderson, Kellie Holliday, Ian Houston, Jerome Kellner, Tina Lia, Christy Miles, and Jen Russo.

GOODS & SERVICES


BEST ADULT STORE

K

ED

The idea of visiting an adult store can be an intimidating one for the novice shopper. You might imagine them to be dank, dark and scary with dusty, musty aisles of sticky videos and unidentifiable phallic objects too numerous to appear ITO C R ' S P I user-friendly. You picture men in trench coats leering over their copy of Naughty

Nymphos and the unapproachable and freaky, lobotomized guy behind the counter who could not possibly have sex. Ever. This is definitely not the case at The Love Shack in Kihei’s Kalama Village. There, you enter a bright, sensuous atmosphere and are greeted by the warm smiles of a knowledgeable staff, enticing you to look over their banana flavored penis massage creams and hand-held remote clitoral stimulators. For quality sexy lingerie in silk or leather, fun novelty items like Tit Tacks

or to simply update your personal assistant with the dual-action butterfly/rabbit combo, check it out and go down south (to Kihei, what did you think I meant?). Instead of immediately needing to take a hot shower because you feel icky, after you visit this adult store you may just need to take a cold one. [SC]

Best Place To Buy Boardshorts LOCAL MOTION People in the surf apparel industry have apparently figured out that they can charge whatever they want for boardshorts and kids living in Kentucky will buy enough surf gear for their trips to local water parks and community pools to keep the money flowing in and the cash registers ringing. Unfortunately for us, that keeps the prices hiked up higher than some tourists' swim trunks. But Local Motion, along with having massive inventory and tons of variety, teams up with companies like Ezekiel to bring us deals to the tune of a rash guard and a pair of baggies for $50. In the world of overpriced surf apparel, it's nice to see someone working to leave some money in our pockets and keep us from surfing naked for lack of a better option. [IH]

Best Place To Get Condoms LONGS DRUG STORE Wow, I still remember the first time I bought condoms. I was a chubby little 14-year-old who wanted to go pick up a package "just in case". Yeah, right. I didn't have a girlfriend, nor had I grown the huevos to even talk to the ladies yet. The guy behind the counter just laughed and gave me my change. This experience can be yours at Longs. Whether you are a seasoned pro or a rookie just looking to get into the game, Longs is apparently the place to go for all of your prophylactic needs. So keep it safe and if certain circumstances get past the "G rating", make sure you've visited Longs and picked up the appropriate gear. [IH]

No Banana Hammocks please!

“Best Plate Lunch” Maui News Readers Poll

“Best Pupu -Coconut Prawns” Taste of Lahaina

“Paper plate meets million dollar view”New York Times

J oin us on our deck for beachside plate lunches, burgers, noodles and “ono” daily specials. Casual, affordable and fun!

1285 Front St.- Makai of Lahaina Cannery Mall

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661-3322

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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the market. How does giving your money to them help the local economy? Spend your money at Maui owned stores. Try a foreign film or a documentary, broaden your horizons, be more creative and put your cash back into Maui businesses. Blockbuster…what were you thinking? Blockbuster? [JG]

SWAP MEET

Best Video Store BLOCKBUSTER

K

Being ripped off is not fun. You would think that on such a small island, it would be easy to find your stolen vehicle – ah, but not so. There is a known surfing area called Honokohau Valley where drivers and passengers alike get ITO C R ' S P I taken advantage of by car thieves utilizing the nearby labyrinthine pineapple fields for their escape. I say, knowing that this kind of activity is ongoing there, let’s have a little fun with the thieving bastards. Now we just need to figure out how…[SC]

Best Bikini Shop MAUI GIRL From a man’s point of view, it seems kind of funny to go to a bikini shop. Needless to say, us guys are a bit out of place. They should have

NEW ARRIVALS EPOXY SHORTBOARDS MIO RAT BOY BUSHMAN PANCHO SULLIVAN SURF PRESCRIPTIONS DOC LAUSCH MATT KECHELE

NEW 2004 MODELS from: Elua Makani, New Surf Project & South Point RENTALS • REPAIRS • USED BOARDS • CON-SIGN • TRADE-INS OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK, 9AM-6PM

6

JULY 17, 2003

COVER STORY

Best Tattoo Shop Island Ink Their deck is the most obvious part of Paia and definitely has the best view for people watching the magic happen. The door below isn’t quite as obvious (it’s bright purple, pay attention and go up). Tom and Nancy have years of experience and between their knowhow, and that of their apprentices like Brad, they will win your trust and make sure your art-for-life is gorgeous and alluring. Check out their gallery of incredible Polynesian tattoos. This is one place where they won’t spell your name wrong on the back of your neck. So unless your name really is Steven with an “R”, head to Island Ink. [JG]

GETTIN’ INK DONE

Best Distraction While Driving While I would say that the female breast is the most common reason I have to swerve while driving down South Kihei Road, the best distraction regardless of sexual preference, age, gender or religion would have to be the stunning combination of ITO C R ' S P I rainbows, unicorns, dancing fairies and freak whale sightings that make Maui both magical and quasi-disturbing. I know plenty of women that would say a 40-year-old man in a fluorescent green thong makes them nearly forget that they are behind the wheel of a car, but the majestic backdrop of a perfectly formed rainbow has caused many a tourist to continue straight when the Pali turns left and landed them in four feet of Pacific Ocean. If you are lucky enough to experience one, the occasional unicorn spotting or Menehune sighting is grounds to slam on the brakes and jump out of your car to investigate. And of course, who could forget those humpback whales? A tail up in the air seems to cause many a fender bender. Let’s remember to keep our eyes on the road and if you do see a dancing fairy bolt across Hana Highway, do your best not to bank her with your cruiser. [IH]

ED

Blockbuster?! Did you all flip that switch on the back of your head that shuts down your brains? If your cultural exposure is limited to the latest $50 million new release and you spend your time indoors playing video games, you have chosen the right video store. Blockbuster is a gigantic multinational conglomerate squeezing small businesses out of

BEST PLACE TO GET YOUR CAR STOLEN

ED

Don’t go to an overpriced tourist trap and pay too much for a cheesy import. Shop where the locals shop. You can get ono local produce at good prices and all kinds of local handmade items. Checkout Krista’s Surfer Salve, which is sure to relieve all kinds of ailments. Maybe she’ll even massage it on for you. Or pick up some of Sara’s gorgeous ceramic plates with cool octopi or anatomically correct naked people on them. Nothing spurs the appetite like staring at full frontal nudity. Get a fresh coconut as you shop and mingle with the natives. Rasta flags, enormous jackfruit, candied macadamia nuts, a box of tamarind, hand-woven bags and pukas all fit the bill as unique gift ideas. [JG]

models prancing around, lounging half-naked, periodically trying on different barely-there bikinis to entice buyers and create fantasies in the minds of “innocent” bystanders. There must be at least 1000 styles to choose from and for such a small amount of fabric, these little numbers are expensive. But, the smaller the better, right? Girls aren’t just buying a piece of nylon. With that ball of fabric, they’re getting yet another opportunity to tease, taunt and tempt us guys at the beach. They’re buying the ability to stop traffic. And Maui Girl has plenty of bikinis that can do just that. [JG]

K

Best Place To Buy A Creative Gift


The World’s Most Unique Island Inspired Tanning & Skincare Products

Maui Island Secret Products Available At: ABC Stores A-Z Stores Whalers General Stores Longs Drug Stores Safeway

Lahaina Body & Bath Maui Dive Shop Kaanapali Alli Poolside Trilogy Kaanapali Beach Hotel

Trilogy Lanai City Java Jazz Las Vegas-Palms Hotel Casino Resort Watch-n-See

www.mauiislandsecret.com

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Free Incoming Calls! Unlimited Two-Way Walkie Talkie! Plans Start at 99 $

39

6-piece Tropical Rattan Set

6-piece Berkeley Group

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Postal Plus 2 LOCATIONS

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with Futon

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C O M P U T E R

C E N T E R

iMac

• Huge in-stock inventory • Special orders welcome • delivery & set-up available

Financing & Layaway Plans

Sale Ends July 31, 2003 AIRPORT

ALAMAHA

Midas WAKEA

285 HUKILIKE ST. • KAHULUI (Behind Midas, Off Wakea)

871–6406 Store Hours: Tue-Fri 10-5pm, Sat 10-2pm

www.futonlifestyles.com

Apple Specialist

iBook

Since 1985

8

JULY 17, 2003

COVER STORY

My cousin Anne used to work at Tiffany & Co. Not the jewelry store, but in some back office where they process the orders. Her job as “Tiffany Card Writer,” was to handwrite all the love notes that accompany the little blue Tiffany boxes, making her privy to the personal messages of people everywhere. As she carefully crafted verses such as “You’re the best dog and I’m barking up the right tree,” Anne and her co-workers learned a lot about love, relationships and human stupidity. So as you go buy your expensive gift from Tiffany’s, you can rest assured that someone, somewhere is laughing at you. [EG]

Best Hardware Store ACE HARDWARE If you don’t have a neighbor as gullible as Ned Flanders to borrow tools from with no intentions of ever giving them back, then you had better head to an Ace Marmack Hardware location and buy your own stuff. Whether you’re after a toilet plunger for when your mother-in-law is in town or some spraypaint to spruce up the cruiser, Ace is the place. And if you long for that old-fashioned neighborhood hardware store for your DIY needs, then Maui’s Ace locations will definitely take care of you. The Kula store is known for its fantastic gardening supplies and the cheapest gas on the Island. Cheap gas good, mother-inlaw bad. [JG/IH]

MACY'S

iMac 17"

iMac 15"

iBook

$1,849 DVD Burner CD Burner

$1,349 CD Burner DVD Player

Prices starting from $1,049

Save $99 When You Purchase a Mac & HP Printer

893-8484 350 Hukilike St. -Large Kahului Showroom M-F: 9am-5:30pm, Sat: 9am-1pm Offers valid while supplies lasts.

TIFFANY & CO

Best Place To Buy Shoes

PUUNENE

HUKILIKE

HANA HWY.

DAIRY RD.

Sit on it today, Sleep on it tonight!

MacNet

Best Place To Buy An Expensive Gift

I used to be a shoe slut if there ever was one. The higher, the tighter, the more leather, the better. When I came to the island, I brought with me 10 to 12 pairs, easy—little strappy numbers to coordinate with every possible outfit. But, come on, how many shoes do you need on Maui? Now, I’m down to one pair. They’re plastic, they’ve got permanent imprints of my toes and they make my feet stink. I’ve got to go to Macy’s. I need the foot makeover only they can provide. [EG]


Best Place To Buy A Cheap Gift

TANK OF GAS TO HANA

BEST WAY TO KILL TIME IN TRAFFIC

Skeptics may say it's impossible to find anything cheap on Maui, let alone a gift, but our faithful readers say different. When someone’s birthday creeps up on you, when you're stuck buying something for an office Christmas party, whatever the occasion, never fear for we have ABC Store! Yes, that’s right, and you thought that place was only for visitors. Although that may have been their principle intention, for locals it has become nothing short of a lifesaver. If you look hard enough, you never know what you may find in this little oasis. Not only is ABC cheap, but it is also convenient. With 10 locations scattered over the island, you can run in, run out and have a gift for your grandaunt’s surprise birthday party in minutes. [KH]

Best Used Bookstore OLD LAHAINA BOOK EMPORIUM Move aside all you unWest Mauians because Lahaina's got the best used bookstore. I know, big deal. But honestly the Old Lahaina Book Emporium is one of the coolest places, period. Whether you’re a beach bum looking for a steamy romance novel, or an art enthusiast looking for a little something different, Lahaina's Book Emporium has it all. A secret for all you students out there: go to the book emporium and find a book already littered with handwritten side-notes and important passages highlighted. So half the work is done for you and you don't have to waste your money on a brand new book. Tourists, you too can look to The Old Lahaina Book Emporium for everything from CDs by local musicians to Maui guidebooks. Trust me, they’ve got everything at half the price of any other bookstore. Even Amazon.com can’t come close. [KH]

SAVERS I scoped Savers to see what makes them the best. With all the second-hand clothes, shoes and junque (that’s ‘que’) they’ve got for sale, any thrift store has got to stay organized. Savers does and they do it well. Every rack is clearly categorized and every item neatly tagged— right down to an unwieldy row of women’s muu muu’s. They also have a good book and music selection, again, all organized and priced to move. Nothing like picking up some new tunes for the tape deck at 49 cents a pop. On the sly, if you are in the market for some Menudo or New Kids on the Block, you won’t be disappointed. But don’t tell anyone I told you. [EG]

K

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president when they got started. I think if we had a dedicated workforce of old women, they could wrap this job up in about half the time it has taken to this point. [TH/IH]

Best Men's Clothing & Best Women's Clothing ROSS My horoscope told me I needed to spruce up my summer wardrobe, so I headed straight for Ross. After all, their motto is “Dress for Less”, right? No wonder people love it. First, I went to my favorite department regardless of what store I’m in, the junior’s section. So what if I’m pushing 30? I still like to look hip, okay? Perusing the clearance racks at Ross is like wading into a garment jungle. I practically needed a machete to get through the aisles. When I came out the other end, I was tired, thirsty and sweating like a marathon runner. It takes a lot of work to dress for less. The men’s department is a different story. No tightly packed summer dresses, no overspilling sarongs. Instead, neat rows of aloha shirts fill the floor and spacious racks of Bermuda shorts line the walls. Where is the justice? [EG]

Best Auto Shop TLC AUTOMOTIVE The name of Maui’s best auto shop says it all, as in tender loving care. Imagine, a car repair place where the customer is king—it’s unheard of. But that’s the kind of service TLC is famous for, along with reliable repairs. So if the always unreliable Maui cruiser is running a bit rough, see if you can make it to Lower Main Street in Wailuku for a nice tune-up, a new air filter or maybe just a quart or two. Plus, they have cool license plate holders—“TLCLicensed to Chill”—which Mike or one of the other staff will give you for free. [JK/IH]

How are a county work truck and a Winnebago similar? They both sleep six comfortably. No, seriously folks, these guys work hard. They just have a sincere interest in job security. Have you ever noticed that when you see them on the ITO C R ' S P I road, there’s always one guy working, one guy watching him work and four guys standing in the shade watching the two of them? It’s their attention to detail. Yeah, that’s it. Because if there’s one thing these guys are good at, it’s supervising. Narrowing down the field in this category to a specific project was a tough one. You can pretty much take your pick of road construction projects or revamps that should have taken two months but have turned into epic conquests that may take us into the next decade. I can still remember when they started roadwork on Honoapiilani Highway at Ma'alaea. The mullet was still in style. Boy George was rockin' and most of the construction workers wore Members Only jackets when they were off duty. Okay, maybe it wasn't that long ago but it feels like the other Bush was

ED

If it is important to you to make your kids look cool at an early age, then by all means, go to Gap Kids. I mean, sure, you’ll be paying double and triple the price for a trendy striped oxford that your little Timmy is going to smear with melted chocolate and bloody up with some scrape or cut. But hey, kids need to learn as soon as possible about name brands and consumerism and that they will be judged by what they wear. It’s up to you to teach them. So get started, leave no child behind and instill the values that are oh so important to our culture. [EG]

BEST NEVERENDING ROAD CONSTRUCTION PROJECT

Oh, so many to choose from. Well, let’s see, I could “Get a car, get a truck, get an SUV” or I could learn about the 15 pounds of compacted waste in my bowels. No, those aren’t bad enough. Ah, yes, that’s right, I need to “remember, conITO C R ' S P I venience for the kama’aina.” That’s right “Super Stop, Yeah Baby!” I have major issues with this radio spot. Every time I hear this commercial, I want to take a clothes hanger, bend it to the exact shape of the route from my ears to my brain, heat the end and work it deep into the pink of my cerebrum. So what makes this ad the “best” obnoxious radio commercial? No matter how much I hate it, no matter how much it bothers me, I know what it’s for and I actually stopped in front of a Super Stop the other day and said, “Hey, that’s what that stupid commercial is for.” It’s the best because it actually works. It gets its job done. So here’s a free plug for you guys. I’m not fully bagging on the commercial, I’m just saying good job on getting our attention and seriously annoying the shit out of me. [IH]

ED

GAP KIDS

BEST OBNOXIOUS RADIO COMMERCIAL

K

ED

Best Children's Clothing

COVER STORY

My friend Captain Ted used to work for Nextel on the mainland, so he knows his cellphones. He tells me that using cell phones without a headset is akin to sticking your head in the microwave and pressing start. On the island, he uses AT&T for his service. “What’s so much better about AT&T?” I asked him. “They’ve got good coverage,” said Ted. Apparently, AT&T has better signals in the more remote areas of Maui, in parts of Hana and even out to Lanai. So if you want coverage, AT&T, with a headset, is where it’s at. The only problem is their customer service can be a bitch. [EG]

Best Thrift Store

“… And I – I – e – I – I will always love you – o – o – o.” That’s right, the best thing to do when you’re stuck behind a pig truck in endless traffic is belt out your own off-key version of Whitney Houston’s “I Will Always Love ITO C R ' S P I You”. You might not know all of the words but damn it, when you’re in the car by yourself, it just sounds right. Of course, while you’re butchering a beautiful piece of music, you can multi-task and cruise through an issue of Maui Time Weekly. I know you thought the only good use for a Maui Time was to line the bottom of your birdcage or wrap your Star Wars figurine collection before you move but they can actually be used as a source of information, matchmaking, an outlet for public frustration and as a guide for your weekend’s activities. As you might not be going anywhere for a while, you can plot out that night’s itinerary or check out Eh Brah to find out who Maui’s asshole of the week is. So always have a copy of Maui Time in your car because you never know when the Pali is going to have one of its infamous closures leaving you otherwise bored and bummed. [IH]

NEWS

AT&T

ABC STORE

You could easily make that final Jackson stretch over two unforgettable days. You could take your time exploring the little turnoffs, leave the car behind and hike as far back as you can just to see what’s there. The water is clean and refreshing and will sustain you until you find guava and mango trees to keep your belly full and make you last as long as that final tank. Take the best hike imaginable along the coast at Wainapanapa, hit Red Sand Beach, check out Hamoa, Venus Pool and find an amazing campsite. Bathe in the waterfalls of Kipahulu and then use the last of your gas to head back to humanity and look for a job, you bums. [JG]

LETTERS

Best Cellphone Service

K

Best Place To Spend Your Last $20

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Best Place To Buy Lingerie

chainmail evening gowns, sexy toys and games, adult video/DVD room, books, magazines, condoms, handcuffs, edible oils, body glitter – you know you want it, and you can have it all right here at the Love Shack. [TL]

LOVE SHACK

BEST PLACE TO KILL YOUR WIFE

WWW.TAGHEUER.COM

ED

This goes both ways, snuff out your wife or permanently shut your husband up. However, it seems that guys have the physical advantage and therefore, the upper hand. But if you are a cunning girl, I am sure you could succeed here. ITO C R ' S P I First thing to do when you are planning a death in your family is get some life insurance on the person expected to expire. After all, you want to get paid for all your hard work, don't ya? Next, plan a vacation in Hawaii. Then rent a kayak for two and paddle out into the Auau Channel - choose a day with marine warnings, it'll make your story better. Then throw her overboard and tell everyone she got whacked by a shark. As an added monetary bonus, sue somebody afterwards. Sound familiar? I'm sure someone's gettin' away with it right now. The fine print: This stunt is for professionals only, don't try this at home. [JR]

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For frilly negligees and panties galore, the Love Shack is indeed where it’s at. Lila knows her lace, ruffles, silk, sequins, leather and vinyl – so much so that this place will have you singing the thong song. Their playful girly atmosphere blends trashy with a touch of class and carries the best selection of undies, bustiers, stockings, garters, tassels and feather boas on the island. Don’t forget the boxers, briefs and robes for men or the newly expanded bridal section for all your naughty nuptial needs. Check out their risqué pleather and

Best Laundromat LIPOA LAUNDRY 1 0 0% P R E S T I G E 1 0 0% P E R F O R M A N C E

WHAT ARE YOU MADE OF ? TIGER WOODS AND HIS TAG HEUER LINK AUTOMATIC CHRONOGRAPH

It’s air conditioned and full of open machines, so get your stinky drawers down to Lipoa Laundry for some good, clean fun. You can drop a load in and head over to Henry’s or Hapa’s for a cool one while you wait, or have a hot workout at Gold’s Gym and toss your sweatsuit right into the washer. Perhaps you’d prefer to relax with some vending machine delicacies and mid-afternoon Seinfeld. Giant folding tables and tiny detergent boxes await you, along with fun family games like Hugh Hefner’s Playboy Pinball for the kiddies. Lazy folks can also enjoy the convenient dry cleaning and laundry service drop-off. [TL]

Best Resort or Hotel GRAND WAILEA

716 FRONT ST.

667-7008 10

JULY 17, 2003

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An authorized TAG Heuer Dealer info@chadwickhawaii.com

www.chadwickhawaii.com

Ah, the good life…if you must stay at a fancy resort on Maui, it might as well be the Grand Wailea Resort & Spa. Lush sprawling grounds perched high atop the sacred shoreline, swimming pools right on the beach for your convenience and a staff dedicated to meeting your every need. Treat yourself to a luxurious afternoon at the world renowned Spa Grande, then dine at your choice of award-winning restaurants. Marvel at the priceless art collection on display or browse the shops for pricey treasures. Dahling, you are worth it - take a day off from your three jobs to stroll around the joint and revel in the extravagant grandeur of it all. [TL]


Best Place To Buy Greeting Cards

KMART

LONGS DRUG STORES

A lei is a simple sign of love and aloha. And when it comes to leis, no other place smells of aloha like K-mart. Yes, you heard right! The readers have voted K-mart as the best place to buy leis. At K-mart, not only do you get to choose from a variety of selections of leis made by local residents, but you get them at a cheap price, too! Whether you'll be buying a lei for that special someone, getting one for the idiot next door who finally graduated from high school or are simply buying one to greet someone at the airport, keep in mind that K-mart is the place to go to for a simple sign of aloha. [DA]

BEST CORNER TO GET HIT BY A CAR

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Best Beauty Salon TIE: PARAGON & COLOURS Beauty regimens fight off many evils, like gray hair, unruly brows and bikini lines, funky feet and worst of all, dated hairstyles. Maui Time Weekly readers couldn’t agree on the best with equally high votes resulting in our only tie going to Paragon in Makawao and Colours in Kahului. Want a wild fuschia mullet or how about green liberty spikes? The sky’s the limit when it comes to hair designs here. Keep your styles in this decade or go retro, scoop all the good island gossip or blab away about who your best friend is sleeping with, and take it from our readers who love Colours and Paragon! [JR]

Best Photo Shop COSTCO

Kodak moments are worth keeping. And because they are of such value, the voters are really appreciative that here on Maui, we can pay such a small price to get our pictures developed at Costco. Apparently having the best photo shop, Costco can develop your pictures within the next three days, 24 hours, or within the next 60 minutes on Kodak or Kirkland paper. There’s nothing like cruising around Costco, hitting up all of the free sample tables to get a little lunch while you wait for your spring break pics to get developed. [DA]

Best Travel Agency

BEST PLACE TO DISAPPEAR FROM The Lahaina Civic Center stoplight is Maui’s twilight zone, stealing souls like the Bermuda triangle. What the f@*k happened to Tory Newlin on that fateful night February 16th, 2002? Theories I have heard range from being ITO C R ' S P I held as a slave in a camp in the Phillipines to he is alive and well on a sandy secluded island living the good life. While psychics haven’t been able to bring him back from his outer dimension, his families pleas are also falling on deaf ears. Perhaps this stoplight has a special dimension for those of us wishing to shirk family and friends, just take six hits of the brown acid and don your ruby slippers. [JR]

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Why did the chicken cross the road? He didn’t, he just got tagged by a silver convertible Mustang with an Enterprise sticker on the bumper and a family of four, fresh from the airport. The last time I checked, any street corner on ITO C I R ' S P Maui that has tourist drivers in the near vicinity is the best corner to get hit by a car. But with all the traffic of the visitor season at its peak, forget about crossing at Baldwin Avenue and Hana Highway in Paia. If you want your kneecaps taken out, or worse, just step into the high-speed traffic of their intersection and tempt the crazy tourists that seem to almost try to hit pedestrians. And if it’s whale season and the ocean is within visual sight, you’re looking at a mandatory bumperto-femur connection. [TH/IH]

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Don't know what cuckoos are? You're a better person than I am. Although found island-wide, your strongest bull market for cuckoos is going to be on Front Street, anywhere down the strip but ITO C especially on the sea wall next I R ' S P to Bubba's. Still not sure? Try Maui's finest weeds, the kind that stick to your leg hairs, not the kind with the green hairs, that go for about $50 a bag, passed off as the "Wowee" you had HIGH hopes for. Look for a guy with no shirt on, or if you’re a longhair they'll find you, looking kind of sketchy, yelling out "spliff, ganja, pakalolo" and quickly pass him your folded bill and you’re sure to never see him or your Grant again. But try to put the contents of your little bag into a pipe and smoke it and you may soon see why it’s called “cuckoos” and the joke is on you. [JR]

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BEST PLACE TO BUY CucKOOS

With three locations on Maui, voters dubbed Longs Drug Stores the best place to buy greeting cards. You could spend the entire day in one aisle reading through all their greeting cards. For whatever the event or situation, the voters are pretty sure that Longs has the perfect card for absolutely anything. I don’t think Hallmark makes a “Sorry I said you have bad breath” card, but if they do, Longs is your best bet. So when you're in search of that perfect greeting card, or that genuine I’m sorry card, don't forget to make Longs a part of your day. [DA]

PALMS TRAVEL AGENCY Living on a rock in the middle of the Pacific means you are going to need a travel agent to get where you need to go. Whether you are visiting family and friends, taking a bonafide Amsterdam vacation or just a quick trip to Vegas, Palms Travel can hook you up. With two locations, one at Azeka’s in Kihei and one at the Kaahumanu Shopping Center serving you, Palms Travel Agency got your votes for the top travel agency sending Mauians all over the

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Best Place To Buy Leis

world. Take it from Omar, a veteran Maui traveler, people take kindly to seeing Maui people out in the world, just don’t say you’re American. [JR]

Lahaina

G r e a t P r i c e s SELF STORAGE Great Choices ers Lockng at ti Star . /mo $

55

Only at…

24

Call or visit us today!

ACCEHR SS

667—0484 222 Papalaua St. Anchor Square

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Encore!

Quality Consignment Boutique Lahaina Square Shopping Center (next to Ace) OPEN DAILY! 661–5533

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Maui Style ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

9 PRIVATE & COMFORTABLE ROOMS STATE OF THE ART VIDEO & SOUND OVER 20,000 SONGS AIR CONDITIONING $ BYOB, 21 & OVER per/hr for rooms of up to six people! FUN FOR ALL AGES Sunday thruThursday $27 per/hr Friday & Saturday Nights! DISCO BALL & LIGHTS

20.25

900 Front Street • 662-3333 (across from Wallace Theater)

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THE BEST GOLF VALUE ON MAUI

Pro Masks Starting at $

3950

815 Front St. j 661-6226

“T” DAYS BEGINS JULY 1

ST

Twilight Rate ALL DAY LONG!

TUESDAY & THURSDAY

Visitors $50

Kama`aina $25

With the “T” month rate receive a discount in the clubhouse restaurant UNLIM. MO. GOLF PASS SPECIAL $300 REG. $500 JULY-OCT. 1, 2003

242-GOLF(4653)

2500 Honoapi`ilani Highway (Hwy. 30) • Waikapu, Maui

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Want To See Molokai?

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Molokai Ferry 662-3355 www.molokaiferry.com

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Paia

SURF SCHOOL 669-1400 545 FRONT ST. • LAHAINA

Fish Market Restaurant

Tides &times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului - 1hr 41min. Hana - 1hr 23 min. Makena - 0hr 32min. Kihei/Ma`alaea - 0hr 22 min. Lahaina - 0hr 40 min.

17 Sun R 5:59A Thur Sun S 7:16P

L 1:45A +0.1 L 11:54A +0.3 H 7:03A +0.8 H 7:02P +2.0

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Sun R 5:59A Fri Sun S 7:16P

L 2:21A +0.1 L 12:50P +0.5 H 8:11A +0.9 H 7:38P +1.8

19 Sun R 6:00A Sat Sun S 7:15P

L 2:56A +0.2 L 2:05P +0.8 H 9:24A +1.1 H 8:14P +1.5

20 Sun R 6:00A Sun Sun S 7:15P

L 3:29A +0.2 L 3:51P +0.9 H 10:36A +1.3 H 8:52P +1.3

21 Sun R 6:01A Mon Sun S 7:15P

L 4:02A +0.2 L 5:58P +0.9 H 11:37A +1.5 H 9:39P +1.0

22 Sun R 6:01A Tue Sun S 7:15P

L 4:36A +0.2 L 7:42P +0.7 H 12:26P +1.7 H 10:43P +0.8

23 Sun R 6:01A Wed Sun S 7:15P

L 5:41A +0.1 H 1:09P +1.9

L 8:44P +0.6 H 11:56P +0.7

100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA 579-8030

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FERRY EASY!

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WE BUY CLEAN USED CARS! • CARS, TRUCKS, VANS, SUV’S • DOMESTIC & IMPORTS FOR A SELECTION OF OVER 250 USED CARS CHECK OUT

USEDCARSMAUI.COM 221 Puunene Ave., Kahului, HI 877-FORD (3673)

SPORTS & LEISURE


makes you a member. Where else can you go to lift, run or stretch after you work a late shift? That's right, 24-Hour Fitness. Aside from the obvious appeal of working out whenever you want, they run a tight ship in Kahului both in terms of cleanliness and upkeep. They have a good variety of machines, plenty of free weights and locker room floors that you don't have to be scared of. So whether you're a meathead or just looking to keep in shape for the beach, 24-Hour Fitness is the place to go. [IH]

BEST PLACE TO SHOOT A SCENE FOR YOUR FANTASY FILM PROJECT Blue Pool in Hana is an idyllic setting for any castaway movie or another Blue Lagoon type picture, but we prefer to focus on its…um, X-rated possibilities. I know what you’re saying, “A porno is a porno. Nobody’s lookITO C R ' S P I ing at the background!” But you know what, size might not matter but setting does. Plopping two “lovebirds” down amongst the purity and serenity of Blue Pool almost makes the fact that it’s a pornographic flick okay. I said almost. So while our “Fantasy Film Project” might not be the most virtuous, it’s our pick so don’t judge us. [IH]

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Best Yoga Instructor TRACY KEENAN Tracy Keenan teaches fun classes outdoors at Dolphin Plaza in Kihei. She primarily focuses on Ashtanga style, while incorporating other elements and styles as she experiences them. “Visitors love doing it outside, but sometimes the carpets fly away and we have to go to the park across the street. You hear life going by and there are always outside influences, but there are few places in the world lucky enough to always do classes outside like in Kihei,” she said. [JG]

Best Gym 24-HOUR FITNESS Just because you like to wake up at 2 a.m. and head to the gym for a little midnight pump session doesn't make you weird. In fact, it

LETTERS

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SURF

BEST PLACE TO GET LOST TRYING TO FIND Driving on Haiku Road is always a lot of fun. Its an especially nice trip if you’re up for people driving on the wrong side of the road and cats and dogs flinging themselves in front of your cruiser. Looking for a specific place ITO C R ' S P I isn’t easy and reading your directions while driving around isn’t a good idea either. "Go past the sharp curve and it’s the green house on the left past the group of mailboxes on the right after that one street," are common directions. In Haiku go with the attitude that you can’t be lost if you don’t care where you‘re going and enjoy the ride. [JG]

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Ahhhh, the stressful Maui life is getting to you. The daily grind, the awful commute, the terrible gridlock, screamin' kids and your nagging wife. When you just can't take it anymore, send the kids to grandma's house, and buy two ITO C R ' S P I tickets to Honolulu and get away from it all without going too far. Take a tip from my parents, while mom heads for Ala Moana for her meaningful shopping therapy, Dad heads for Femme Nu where his amusement may even outlast her shopping spree. It’s fun for the whole family and you can even share a cab ride there from your hotel in Waikiki, just don't use all of Dad's one-dollar bills. [JR]

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BEST WAY TO GET AWAY FROM IT ALL AND STILL BE ABLE TO PADDLE BACK

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bye bye man-boobs!

at your service . . .

Best Beach Park KAMAOLE III While our reader poll established that the best place to watch a sunset is different for everyone, Kamaole III is an obvious favorite for those that show up nightly to watch the sun melt into the horizon. With tons of green grass and room for everyone, you might actually have a day at the park without stepping in dog doodoo. The eye candy is always tasty and it's not hard to find something to do at Kamaole, like my favorite, checking out weird man-boobs. Right on the water, close to dining and running along South Kihei Road, Kamaole III is in a perfect location for a day of fun at the park before a night of fun on the town. [IH]

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MAUI’S MOST COMPLETE EXTREME SPORT OUTFITTERS bike • skate • camping • apparel surf • windsurf • bodyboard • kitesurf

397 Dairy Rd. Kahului, Maui

871-7954 DA KINE CALENDAR

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Fine Shops AT THE

Old Poi

FACTORY

815-819 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761

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Sick Sticks and Sex Wax at HI TECH surf shop

BEST PLACE TO DROP DEAD

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Parasailing. By far, the best place to drop dead would be parasailing. Up in the air, soaring above the clear waters of the Pacific and loving every minute of it. All of the sudden, our unlucky sailor sees a group of birds approaching ahead. He tries ITO C R ' S P I to signal to the boat to get out of their way but his efforts are in vain. Apparently, one stray bird doesn’t get the message to turn from the rest of the flock and the sailor takes an incoming mynah bird right to the face. At those speeds, forget about it. With a beak in the eye and feathers everywhere, both the poor bird and the unfortunate sailor are done for. As the ride comes to an end and the boat begins to slow, our ill-fated sailor drops from the sky like a rock and his day in the sun has come to a quick end. But don’t feel too sorry for him because he got to take in the unequalled scenery of Maui’s coastline and ocean before he met up with one of the most dangerous killers roaming the skies above Hawaii, the mynah bird. [IH]

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• Manta Ray Snorkel Dive • Chadwick Hawaii Jewelers • Watch-n-See • Lahaina Ticket Co. • Oh Baby! • Bead Jewelry Stand • Tropical Toes • Air Brush Tattoo • Timeshare Re-Sale • Paradise Music • Temporary Tattoos • Julie Galeeva Fine Art

Best Surf Shop HI TECH This place has it all! Hi Tech boasts a huge selection of surfboards, windsurf gear, skateboard stuff and kite boarding paraphernalia. They have a friendly, knowledgeable staff and a fun atmosphere. The owner, Kim Ball, has worked hard to make his store top notch and is also dedicated to the surfing/windsurfing community and promoting water sports. Be sure to visit the Paia branch and don’t mistake the Kahului location for the airport, like some drunk guy really did once. [JG]

Best Place To Buy Board Wax HI TECH Why do they call it sex wax? The guys at Hi Tech didn’t know, but postulated appropriately that it’s because sex sells. I found out at www.mrzogs.com that it was so named “because it sounded phonetically cool” and it was “a great spoof on Madison Avenue's not so subtle attempts to use sex to sell a product.”


Best Hike WAINAPANAPA Walking along the coast at sunrise toward the ancient burial ground is an energizing experience. The sun is intense, the clouds turn a brilliant, fiery orange, and the fierce waves crash into the serrated coastline. Hopping along the jagged lava rocks is an adventure as you try to keep to the trail or make your own. Walking the other direction, toward Hana, at night is a surreal experience. You go through jungle, around gnarly blowholes and experience ethereal energies at the ancient heiau. Of course, there are the easier hikes to Black Sand Beach and the Caves for the less accomplished hiker. Something for everybody, you’ve got to love Maui. [JG]

Best Golf Course

Best Snorkel Spot

KAPALUA PLANTATION COURSE On an island with God knows how many golf courses, the Kapalua Plantation Course was voted Maui's best. But really, was this any contest? Voting for any other course than the Kapalua Plantation would be like voting against the Taj Mahal as world’s most beautiful building. You can make a case for some others, but in the end, only one stands as the crown jewel, and it’s the Plantation. [JK]

Best Beach

BLACK ROCK

BIG BEACH MAKENA

This is a bit of a touchy subject, but umpteen billion visitors to Maui have made Black Rock seemingly their own private playground for so long, it took Maui Time Weekly readers to remind some of us what a gem of a snorkeling spot Kaanapali’s Black Rock truly is. What more could anyone ask for—gorgeous, frolicking bodies adorning the scene? The entire experience in and out of the water is about as spectacular as any place on the planet. Ho-hum, another lousy snorkeling day in paradise… [JK]

Mounds of soft sand, killer shore break and an as of yet unspoiled view – they don’t call it Big Beach for nothing. People flock from far and wide to visit this south side picture of paradise. On a calm day, you’ll find families frolicking in the ocean and vacationers power-walking the shoreline. Bring a lunch and bask in the sun or venture the waters if you’re brave. While you’re at it, make that climb over the rock wall to Little Beach for some naked Qi Gong. [TL]

SUR F

Technically, it is meant to provide traction between the surfer's feet and the surfboard, but go buy some at Hi Tech and be creative with it in the bedroom, at the beach, or wherever you feel most inspired. Just be careful. I don’t want to hear about all of your waxy mishaps under the sheets. [JG]

BEST PLACE TO GO ON HALLUCINOGENS

RF DSU WIN FAS H

ION

SWI MW EA

R

KIT

EBO ARD

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Swinging Bridges. This place is trippy by itself. Any place with lots of big, old banyan trees - some growing out of huge boulders - is good for trippin’ and this place has ‘em plus some. Bamboo forests, two swinging bridges (obviously), ITO C R ' S P I old irrigation canals with sparkly water flows, moss covered stones, amazing views into the mountains and a refreshing swimming hole at the end can either make it the most mellow time of your life or scare the ass off of you. Eat mushrooms for breakfast and go early on a weekday if non-trippers around you will bug you out. [JG]

WHOA..THIS BRIDGE IS MOVIN’

400 Hana Hwy., Kahului • 877–7443 LETTERS

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MY HOUSE

Best Yoga Studio KAPALUA ART SCHOOL STUDIO Tucked away in the idyllic setting of West Maui’s more precipitous shoreline, the Art School at Kapalua is the perfect locale for a little Upward/Downward Dog and Squatting Frog posing. As you’re sweating your yoga butt off, a cool breeze wafts in through the open studio, filling your body and mind with a calmness that is damn near ethereal. The only sounds you hear as you enter relaxation phase are the gentle rustlings of wind in trees and maybe the occasional snores of your fellow yogis. [SC]

PRAY FOR RAIN PEOPLE, PRAY FOR RAIN!

Living on a tropical island like Maui can be filled with many sunny days on the beach. But what does one do on the old rainy day? Well, my best bet is to shut the doors, turn the AC on, shave what needs to be shaved and get it ITO C on with your lover. Sex is fantasR ' S P I tic when there is rain pelting on the window. Listening to the hypnotic beat of the rain can really get your juices flowing. Not only will you

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Sorry folks but it looks like my house is the best place to watch the sunset. What, never been to my house? Well don't fret, there are plenty of "my houses" all across our island paradise. Okay, so I don't literally mean MY house, but the local readers say that when they watch the sunset, they like it best from their own lanai. Who can blame them? No crowd, no cover and if you want to walk around in your birthday suit, you won't get arrested or groped, as the case might be. [KH]

BEST THING TO DO ON A RAINY DAY

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Best Place To Watch The Sunset

Surfer: Ola Eleogram. Photo: Kealoha

Hourly Drawing for Great Prizes! GRAND PRIZE Your Choice of Any Kazuma Surfboard!

21st ANNIVERSARY SALE! SATURDAY, JULY 26 spend much quality time with your significant other, but you will also get sexual satisfaction as well. Not too shabby! Assuming both parties cross the finish line. [CM]

Best Board Shaper Complete Tech-Lite Skateboard > $89.95 Custom X Axis Bodyboard > $99.95 Skater: Darren Tsue. Photo: Sparkman

Name Brand T-Shirts > $9.50

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Great Deals on Everything in the Store

T 1 SALE! 1 DAY!

T T 8:00am to 7:00pm Triangle Square • Kahului • 877.2111 JULY 17, 2003

COVER STORY

OLE Bob Olson, aka Ole, has been a part of my Lahaina life for as long as I can remember. My dad has always had an Ole longboard, several in fact, and I grew up learning how to surf on Ole's boards. I still surf on his longboards. Ole even has a longboard contest all his own, the Ole Longboard Classic, which is coming up soon this summer. Ole always has a smile and a shaka for me as we pass each other on Front Street. Ole manifests peace and harmony of man with nature in his timeless attitude on life and his high quality boards. His works of art and just simply knowing him have taught me, and many others, about my family, the ocean, good times and paying my dues; a fitting byproduct of his lifelong work. [JR]


WHAT DOESN’T MAKE YOU STRONGER...KILLS YOU

BEST PLACE TO WATCH VISITORS GET PUMMELED BY A BEACH BREAK

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Lying on the beach at Kaanapali or Makena is by far the best way to see people, but mainly tourists, playfully tossed to the ground by the shore-breaking waves. Not only do you get to witness it firsthand, but you also get to ITO C R ' S P I predict it before it even happens. “Ten bucks says the guy in the man-thong eats it on this one!” Tourists don't want to swim too far out for fear of sharks. As a result, they stay close to the shore and bob up and down as waves go by. But, as one wave passes and the water novice thinks they are safe, another wave quickly scoops them up and then slams them into the sandy crash pad. The break of the waves can be heard up and down the beach as well as loud, hysterical laughter from every passerby on the beach. Keep it up. We all need a laugh and we know it’s a lot of fun for you too. [CM]

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PEACE OUT, OLE

www.honoluasurf.com

(888) HONOLUA

MAUI CEREMONIAL PIPES

Toe Rings • Full Circle • Since 1987 • Spears • Blow Guns Unique Jewelry • Oceanic Arts • Woods • Spiritual Fetishes

TROPICAL ARTWARE / U.L.C.

PHOTO: RIC LARSEN

TOP FLOOR WHARF CINEMA CENTER • ACROSS FROM BANYAN TREE

Nancy Emerson School of Surfing

Waterproof Your Cell Phone with AQUAPAC™

SURF CLINICS & LESSONS • Let us take you to the next level. • Improve your style & technique. • Learn to ride larger waves. • Focus on the complete surf experience. • Taught by world renowned surfing champion and expert surfers • Also specializing in beginners. • Hawaii’s original surfing school since 1973.

• 100% Water & Weatherproof • Use It In the Case–Talk, Dial & Hear as Normal • Use Your Phone Safely Wherever You Go • It’s Airtight, So It Floats • Quick & Easy Access • Full One Year Warranty to Repair or Replace Case

XENON ONE ENTERPRISES

244-SURF (7873)

310 Hookahi St. #102 Wailuku • 243-9797 425 Koloa St., Triangle Square, Kahului • 873-5100

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“A place for those with fine taste & a sense of humor” Maui’s Largest Selection of Gourmet Cheeses

Custom Chilled Wines

Expert Assistance

Azeka II, Mauka • 1279 S.Kihei Rd. Kihei • 874-3930

e m o s y Tr

today!

l ecia p S s D a y Entrees r e m F S u m50% OF 30pm : 6 5days n o M ys & F Sushi a d n F Su 0% O losing 5 -C 10pm t Nighn Menu e t a e L Kitch & i h Sus 843 WAINEE STREET ¥ LAHAINA ¥ 662-8780 18

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BEST FREE ENTERTAINMENT

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MAMA’S FISH HOUSE Our mama is turning 30! Time flies when you’re slingin’ great fish. It is one of the most

BEST PLACE TO BUY CHEESE Only recently has cheese become an important part of my life. Previously, I was a cheddar cheese, Kraft Singles kind of guy. Something changed me. Something made me stop and ITO C think about what cheeses I buy R ' S P I for what meals. What cheeses go best with different foods. And to think, it all started with Gorgonzola cheese on a gourmet cheeseburger. I have grown and with that, have had to find a cheese merchant that is capable of accommodating my cheese needs.

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Best Seafood Restaurant

That shop is Who Cut the Cheese in Kihei. Not only does it have a brilliant name in that it is a reference to a fart joke, but it has an impressive assortment of all different types of cheeses. I don’t want to be…well, cheesy but this store has helped me to become the cheese lover that I am today. So (with a tear in my eye and some cheese in my mouth) I say thank you to the one shop that was made for me and I ask, who did cut the cheese? [IH]

Best Restaurant When Someone Else Is Paying MAMA’S FISH HOUSE

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There’s nothing better than getting a free show. No, I’m not going to be immature here and say that the best free show on Maui is strolling upon a drunken couple doing their “love business” on the beach. The best free show ITO C R ' S P I on Maui can be seen from the Maui Time Weekly offices at 505 Front St., which look down on the Feast at Lele’s nightly luau. There is nothing like typing away at your computer and hearing the sweet sounds of Hawaiian music make their way into our offices to let us know the show is beginning. I have been franticly writing away on many an occasion and heard the falsetto begin, which forced me to leave my work behind and run to the window of our publisher’s office to watch the show. Normally, we aren’t allowed to talk to anybody while working and if we look at each other, we lose a finger but after hours, when the office is nearly empty, the fun begins as the sun sets. [IH]

well known restaurants on the island and they’ve been serving the best seafood around for the last three decades. It has an old school island ambience complete with its own beach, hula music, aloha shirts and tikis. They go through roughly a Yugo full of fish per day (seriously about 500 pounds), all of which is caught nearby by local guys who bring their catch to be weighed right there. You want to talk about fresh fish? These critters are still moving when they get to Mama’s. The photos of the fisherman with their prize fish hang alongside those of celebrities that have enjoyed Maui’s best seafood experience. [JG]

They might have the best seafood on the island, use all local fish, meat and produce, but if you’re a starving local, struggling just to survive in paradise, then you will never get to eat here unless someone else flits the bill. Mama’s is the classic destination for when the parents come from the mainland and you finally get your chance to savor the flavor after driving past it almost every day. The beautiful girls of the North Shore have an advantage over us working stiffs because they can coerce an older rich guy to pay their way. Oh to be young and attractive and female and live on the North Shore and…damn it, my life sucks. [JG]

Your Treat!

“FRESH In YOUR cup within one week of roasting”

MAUI COFFEE WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

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Best Dining With A View KULA LODGE Amazing views of the West Maui Mountains and the fantastic cloud formations that congregate on the peaks, the lush cane fields below, the North Coast and Maalaea Harbor create a dining spectacle. At breakfast time, you can rub elbows with goofy middle Americans as they load up on eggs benedict before riding their bikes down the Crater. For lunch, hobnob with old couples cruising the countryside and loads of tourists checking out the sights. The service is good all day at Kula Lodge, but dinnertime is most enjoyable. Debbie and Katie make great drinks to make the drive a little more adventurous but we obviously don’t encourage that kind of thing. Be safe, eat well and enjoy an upcountry dining experience like none other. [JG]

BEST PLACE TO HAVE A MICKEY AND YELL AT TOURISTS

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VEGGIE HEAVEN

Have you ever wanted to know what it’s like to be a bird, soaring high above the human masses below you, scouting targets for your waste disposal? Well, now you can. Situated upper level above Lahaina’s infamous Front Street, Moose C I

R'S P

25% Off All Entrees in August between 5-6 pm Nightly!

McGillicuddy’s offers a rare bird’s eye view of the pedestrian masses below. Sit and drink to your heart’s content while spewing vitriolic filth at the tourists. But beware, Moose’s also offers a bird’s eye view of the birds themselves, and these little buggers have taken their swoop-and-snatch techniques to professional levels, meaning you’d better keep an eye on your food. [TH]

Best Margarita MAÑANA GARAGE It’s hot. Like summertime hot. Slipping into Mañana Garage gets you the best margarita ever blended on Maui. Altogether fitting that Maui's best margarita—a luscious libation of tequila, lime or lemon juice, triple sec and ice, glass rimmed with salt—be mixed and served at a Latino-flavored restaurant like Kahului's Mañana Garage. A quibble: what’s with these folks who order margaritas without salt or drink them through straws? Order some other drink, folks—the salt is there for a reason. The same reason tequila afficionados chase shots with a dash of lime and a hit of salt. Be a man (or woman) and do the sodium. Just do it. [JK]

Best Fish Sandwich PAIA FISH MARKET The saying goes; eat more fish, live longer. Well, thank goodness for Paia Fish Market. No one prepares ono, ahi or mahi in-between a grade-A bun better than they do. Sandwiches come cajun-seared or grilled and accompanied by tangy coleslaw, fresh tomato and grated cheddar. Many of the other selections may tempt you, but this sandwich is the goods - and it’s cheap! I usually get mine on the way back from the airport picking up friends or family - the best intro to Maui! Cute girls work at the Paia Fish Market and it offers a great view of the passersby of Paia, which is always entertaining. [JG]

Best Vietnamese Restaurant SAIGON CAFÉ Take a bow, Saigon Café owner Jennifer and staff, you got top billing as the best Vietnamese restaurant on Maui. Many food folks would argue that Saigon Café is a top

contender for Maui’s best food, any kine restaurant, that’s how good they are. No secret to the masses, and hence their popularity— they serve fresh, natural foods, succulently blended with Southeast Asian flair. They also do western-style dishes very nicely, like their sizzling-while-you-eat-‘em steaks. This Wailuku restaurant’s casual ambiance and fun, friendly service only adds to the great eating experience, all at reasonable prices. [JK]

Best Place For Vegetarian Food DOWN TO EARTH A lot of stigmas have somehow been attached to vegetarian diets. I always think of vegetarians as all wearing hemp and smelling like barley (whatever barley smells like). But eating a vegetarian diet is obviously good for your health and makes the moo moo and oink populations smile. Down To Earth has some seriously good food and their cobbler style creations for breakfast are the bomb. Jason at the Lahaina shop makes the best food for the veggie muncher in all of us. So whether you’re looking for a new lifestyle or just a healthy lunch, Down to Earth is your spot. [JG/IH]

TOP IT

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3 FREE Toppings*

71 Baldwin Ave. • Pa`ia • 579-9999 20

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2 Consecutive Years 1st Place Taste of Lahaina “Best Vegetarian” & “Best Meat”

505 FRONT STREET • LAHAINA • 661–8112 *Up to 3 toppings free with purchase of 16” pizza. Dine in only.


TOP 10 BEST Things about… DICK’S PLACE

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HOME OF THE $1 MAI TAI! Authentic Mexican Food Live Music Every Single Night Happiest Happy Hour In Town! Enjoy the Sunset 4-7pm! Coldest Beer In Town$2 Drafts During Happy Hour Liters of mai Tais only $6.00 Affordable Pricing! Nothing over $10.00 unless it’s for TWO! Band New Pool Table! Kids Welcome until 10pm Really Cute & Friendly Staff

” R A B H C A E “BEST B L, JULY 2003 A N R U O J ’S N E M

10. $15.99 Lobster Every Single Day! 9. 8 Regulation Size Pool Tables 8. Play Pool For FREE 11am-7pm Every Single Day 7. All-U-Can-Eat Specials Every Night of the Week 6. Kids Under 10 Eat FREE on Saturday Nights 5. Late Night Happy Hour! HALF OFF EVERYTHING! 4. Satellite Sports with 11 TV’s & Huge Big Screen 3. $2.50 Foster Drafts All Summer Long 2. All-U-Can-Eat Crab $24.99 By Popular Demand Sun. & Mon. 1. There’s Lot’s of Great Dick Jokes! 2463 South Kihei Road (Next to Denny’s) Plenty of parking in the rear

For reservations, call

1913 South Kihei Road, Next to Foodland 874-8869 891-8010 for more info visit us at www.mauibars.com LETTERS

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Original watercolor by Jim Kingwell, Kingwell Island Art Collection

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BEST PLACE TO BREAKUP

Any way you slice up the competition for best Italian restaurant, it’s quite a feat to be voted Maui’s best in this category these days. With more than a dozen places serving Italian fare, the competition is fierce. Casanova wins best of the bunch honors by consistently serving flavorful traditional Italian favorites, including fabulous fresh seafood, which make up a big part of authentic Italian cuisine. There’s lots of warm aloha at Casanova, too—they treat their customers like they are family, and that’s Italian all the way. [JK]

Best Mexican Restaurant LAS PIÑATAS For the record, the name of the place judged best Mexican restaurant on Maui is Las Piñatas. No matter, everybody just calls it Piñatas and calls their food muy bueno. True Mexican food snobs will sniff that, to get real Mexican food, you have to travel 2,500 miles due east, to Alvaro Street in Los Angeles or other legendary Southern Californian Mexican food spots. Sure, this is gringo-ized Mexican food, but it’s consistently good at Las Piñatas, just the way lots of Maui gringos like it. [JK]

Best Restaurant For Family Of Four Under $30 TASTY CRUST What could possibly be better than good, cheap food? I can’t think of too many things that I more desire than good eats for minimal flow. And with that, I introduce Tasty Crust. Maui Time Weekly readers voted this Wailuku eatery best restaurant for family of four with a bill under $30 because of their good food and uncanny affordability. They serve breakfast, lunch and dinner in a classic diner-style cafe, right out of the 1940s, with prices to match the era. [JK/IH]

BEST BALLOT STUFFER

Best Place To Eat At 3 a.m. DENNY’S I’ve been to Denny’s late night enough times to know why it’s the best place to eat at 3 a.m. First, it’s the only place open after bars close that gives you a choice of breakfast, lunch or dinner. Now that’s freedom. Second, Denny’s is the only place that gives you pictures on the menu. So when you are too drunk to navigate between descriptions of Grand Slams, Slugger Slams and Moon Over My Hammys, you just feast your fuzzy eyes on the picture that looks the prettiest, and say “Errr, umm…I’ll take that one.” God bless those that cater to the drunken masses. [EG]

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Oh yeah, you thought you were real clever. We'll never notice the tons of ballots stuffed into one envelope with the same six votes for your business filled out on each ballot, Best Lunch, Best Dinner, Best ITO C R ' S P I Pupus, Best Place for Vegetarian Food, Best Restaurant When Someone Else Is Paying, Best Thai Restaurant. We'll never see the same handwriting is on each one even though it looks like you opened your address book and filled out different names and addresses. Despite the fact that we didn't count your identical ballots votes in our total, you won something anyway! Here's a tip for next year, leave it to the readers, Thai Chef, they love your curry so much they voted you in fair and square. [JR]

food? Or is it a sushi?” She looked at me funny and said, “It’s Spam.” Right. It was then I realized one should never ask too many questions when it comes to Spam. So why does Minit Stop make the best? They slice their Spam fresh every day, slap it on a rectangle of rice and serve it up, warm and tasty. And for a buck thirty-nine, you can get your Musubi, morning, noon and night. Long live Spam. [EG]

CASANOVA

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By far, the best place on Maui to have a violent, obnoxious, drunken shout-fest that results in the ending of a relationship would have to be in the middle of a luau. All of the key ingredients for ITO C a hilarious and memorable R ' S P I breakup are present. For one, you need alcohol. Every breakup is better with alcohol. Chances are you will both be more honest (and loud) and, truth be told, you were probably going to get into an inebriated argument anyway. Let the wine flow and God bless the open bar. Next, there are plenty of people around. You need an audience to cheer you on, boo you or just watch while drinks are thrown and embarrassing secrets are revealed. And three, there’s the show. What better way to call off your courtship than between the hula dancers and the crazy guy with the flaming stick? You can take in some hula, down some brews and tell your boyfriend that he is horrible in bed. The best part is, you have a great story to tell all of your friends. And to all you hula dancers out there, if a scene begins to erupt, just let the couple do their thing and remember that the show must go on. [IH]

Best Italian Restaurant

Best Sandwich Shop SUB PARADISE

Best Spam Musubi

In my opinion, the bread makes the sandwich. And the bread at Sub Paradise is top notch. I know that for a fact because Craig, the friendly guy behind the counter, cut me off a couple crusts to sample. Score on the white and wheat. Anyway, I could tell that Craig and

MINIT STOP The price sign at Minit Stop lists Spam Musubi under two categories, hot foods and sushi. “But I don’t understand,” I implored Lali, the clerk behind the Paia counter. “Is it a hot

M aui Community College U N I V E R S I T Y

O F

H A W A I ‘ I

S Y S T E M

REGISTER NOW FOR FALL 2003, CLASSES ARE ALREADY FILLING . . .

For Summer and Fall schedules, applications, financial aid, and personal assistance with applying and registering, call 984-3286 or visit us on the web at mauicc.hawaii.edu. A tuition installment plan is available.

LIKE MAMA USED TO MAKE....SHAKA STYLIE the owner, Neil Swanson, were psyched about their subs. Especially #27, their most popular: turkey, hot bacon and avocado. Yum. These guys have been doing their thing since 1990 and they’ve got gobs of repeat customers to prove that it’s working. All their subs are made to order, with fresh-sliced meats, cheeses and the condiments of your choice. On that thick fluffy bread, now that’s a sandwich. [EG]

Best Pizza SHAKA SANDWICH & PIZZA Move over Domino’s, Shaka Pizza is still bringin’ it and Maui knows who to call for the good stuff. Talk about da kine, brah - New York style thin crust or thick Sicilian with homemade sauce and tons of cheese, Veggie Delight or Meat Combo, gourmet pizzas like Chicken Pesto. Dine-in, take out, or call that thing in for delivery. Don’t forget the garlic bread, calzone, cheese steaks, hoagies, French fries and Caesar salad. Shaka even sells by the slice if you’re in a hurry to try the grinds. [TL]

Eric Dotterer, musician, technical engineer, & Liberal Arts/ Hawaiian Studies student

Congratulations to all the “Best of Maui” recipients! LETTERS

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BEST PLACE TO MEET SOMEONE YOU SHOULDN’T DATE

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It goes without saying that bars and clubs are not the most auspicious places to meet a potential mate, in general. There’s the loud pulsating music that deters intelligible conversation, the lack of adequate lighting (all ITO C R ' S P I the more helpful the less sober you become!), deceptively good behavior and predatory pretension aplenty. Nowhere is this more apparent than at Tsunami’s at the Grand Wailea Resort on Friday and Saturday nights. Whoa, this place is packed with attitude and some very young, dumb and full of cumbrance individuals who take themselves maybe a little too seriously. Why are they trifling and just whom do they think they’re trying to sweat, I wonder? They’re like, 12 or something. [SC]

or Spicy Seafood Combo Soup for starters, then choose from over 60 menu items including Thai Style Shrimp Scampi, Crispy Cornish Game Hen, Pineapple Fried Rice and an impressive selection for veggie lovers. Enjoy Thai Chef’s cozy setting, excellent service and authentic flavors. Keep it mild if you please and remember to order up a tall Thai Iced Tea to cool your tingling taste buds. [TL]

Best Steak RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE I know next to nothing about good steak. I haven’t eaten red meat since that summer I spent hawking hot dogs in front of a hardware store—100-degree humidity, a boiling pot of beef franks and a bad hangover. Believe me, it could make anyone vegetarian. When I told Bruce, the manager at Ruth’s Chris Steak House in Lahaina about my nonmeat-eating tendencies, he said, “I’m sorry to hear that.� I asked him what he could tell me to make me want to eat his meat. “We’ve got the best flavored steak around, cooked in an 1800-degree oven that seals the juices inside,� he answered in all seriousness. “And plus, you can cut our filets with a fork.� Did Bruce convert me? Close, but no. Should you eat at Ruth’s Chris if you want a phenomenal steak? Yes. [EG]

Best Thai Restaurant THAI CHEF When Thai Chef says hot, he means business. You want the curry? You can’t handle the curry. Red, green or yellow with veggies, chicken, beef, pork, shrimp or fish – the guy knows his stuff. Try the Green Papaya Salad

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877-8744

& Kukui Mall, Kihei 875-8744

www.sushigo.com

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SUSHI GO! Can you deny the allure of a lunch that’s already spinning across the table as you’re seated? “Home of the largest sushi conveyerbelt in the U.S.�, Sushi Go! is fast, affordable and tasty enough to satisfy. The fish is fresh and there’s plenty of variety - rich unagi sweetly sauced, spicy ahi poke sushi, even vegetarian rolls. Best of all, they keep it coming in an endless stream of plates, color-coded by price so you can ponder the bill as you pile them up. Covet your favorites and grab them fast, but please don’t hoard the communal ginger and wasabi. [TL]

Best Local Beer KONA BREWING CO. Beer. Oh, beer. Now we’re getting into the good stuff and thank God for buy Hawaii. While beer in itself is a beautiful thing regardless of where it’s made, Kona Beer is not only great tasting, it makes you feel good to put the outrageous amount of money that we all spend on beer into the pocket of a local brewery. While I’m not giving you an excuse to become an alcoholic just to “support a local business�, Kona is definitely the way to go for local beer and good times. So crack a brew, tell a story and Kona, if you’re listening, I could use a sponsor. [IH]

  

  

sushi go ! 2 Great Locations!! Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului

Best Lunch

$VVHHQRQ


Best Sushi SANSEI With fancy names like Mango Crab Salad Handroll and Kapalua Butterfly, it’s got to be good. Sansei pairs the ambiance of fine dining with the delicate art of sushi, offering both at a decent price. Take a seat at the sushi bar and watch the chefs in action as they skillfully craft your order. Don’t make small talk, these guys are serious and have no time for your shenanigans. That’s right, I said shenanigans. Stick with the traditional Maguro and Hamachi, try a combo selection or skip the rice and go for the straight sashimi. Any way you slice it, Sansei is the bomb for fresh fish lovers. [TL]

BEST PLACE TO BUY WINE

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The Wine Corner is much more than a place to get your alcoholic fix. It is the best place to go for the Paia lowdown, to have a chance run-in with a famous person and to observe the real life entertainment on the streets of Paia. The ITO C R ' S P I owner, Greg Brown, can fill you in on how things work on the North Shore and gives good relationship advice. Yantzi can introduce you to everyone in town and get you up to date on the social scene. And Trish provides a solid woman’s touch. Their extensive selection of beer and wine is well priced, too. [JG]

IHOP

Best Japanese Restaurant SANSEI That’s right, sushi and Japanese food are two different meals. Get it together and get over to Sansei for a taste of the Pacific Rim. Tempting starters like the Seared Fresh Hawaiian Ahi Salad will have you begging for more. Try their Spicy Crab Stuffed Whole Lobster Tail if you’re feeling feisty, or venture the Grilled Filet of Beef Tenderloin with its savory shiitake mushroom unagi demi-glaze. Don’t miss out on Sansei’s early bird specials, as friends in the know are already lined up out the door. Giant decadent desserts, quality, quantity and a reasonable price – can you say oishi (delicious)? That was a good try but work on the accent. [TL]

LETTERS

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SURF

Maybe the title of this category should have been "Best place to take out a loan to go on a first date". But that’s okay, because if you can get past the sticker shock, this is the place you want to take your honey for the first time, espeITO C R ' S P I cially if you want to get busy for the first time. Mama’s Fish House is so romantic you won’t even have to order clams to get her in the mood. And with plenty of sandy beach close by to stroll on after dinner, your afterdinner options are already "laid" out for you. Get it? Get the innuendo? [TH]

ED

Is it the family atmosphere or the variety of syrups that keeps them coming? Maybe it’s the fantasy of a house filled with pancakes – fluffy buttermilk, banana nut, chocolate chip and those crispy hash browns on the side. The traditional breakfast hot spot, IHOP is packed on weekends with nostalgic crowds hungry for a slice of Americana. French toast and Belgian waffles never tasted so good. Build your own omelet if you dare, or order up a t-bone steak and eggs for the manly man. People of Maui love to get down with the Rooty Tooty Fresh and Fruity and well, so do I. [TL]

BEST PLACE TO GO ON A FIRST DATE

K

Best Breakfast

MORE WASABI PLEASE

Best Coffee Shop STARBUCKS When it comes to picking a best coffee shop, you picture a swanky hip-cat spot with beatnik poets in the corner, a bunch of funky tables and chairs, maybe some mood lighting and the warm smell of coffee filling the air. Oh, how we have evolved. Our world has moved on to highpaced business people and spoiled teenagers who need something to perk them up before they head off to work or school in their overpriced sports cars. Still, Starbucks maintains the ever important coffee shop quality of convenience (they’re everywhere!), prompt service and quality coffee strong enough to make you think you’re invincible and all-knowing. Hmm, do they sell IVs, too? [KH/SC]

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BEST BARTENDER TO GET SEXUALLY HARASSED BY

Veteran Divers

Best Burrito

MAUI TACOS

I almost get tears in my eyes when I talk about this category. I think I am Maui Taco's number one supporter. All of the money I have left over after paying the bills goes to buying Lahaina burritos with chicken and pinto beans, wrapped in foil. I have recently been turned on to Maui Taco’s breakfast menu and soon hope to eat all three meals there on a consistent basis. The salsa bar adds flavor (because that's its job) and when I bite into one of their burritos, it's not quite heaven, but it's as close as I'm going to get to it for a while. [IH]

BEST BARSTOOL

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When you put in the kind of serious drinking time that I do, you tend to notice the details of your chosen watering hole. The expertise of the bartender, the selection of beers and/or spirits (do they have your favorite vodka, whiskey or ITO C R ' S P I schnapps?), and the apparatus upon which you sit – the barstool. An important

element that should withstand the test of “putting in a shift” at your frequent haunt, the barstool ideally should be just comfortable enough to encourage a few rounds of liquid worship, but not so much that you’ve decided to set up your toothbrush in the medicine cabinet installed at your own private cubicle. With swivel-back, cushioned chairs on wheels that sit on a level above the bar, I hereby decree that the Hang Loose Lounge in Kahului indeed has this vital component mastered. [SC]

Best Plate Lunch ALOHA MIXED PLATE Plate lunch is a trademark of Hawaiian culture. It’s island cuisine meets the lunch special meets damn good food. I’ve eaten at Aloha Mixed Plate plenty of times and I’ve got to admit, they do have some pretty amazing plate lunch. It reminds me of going to your auntie’s or grandma’s and have her cook it up greasy style. But in absence of an auntie or grandma willing to slave over the fire, Aloha Mixed Plate is the best way to go. The plate lunch is a beautiful thing and Aloha has its finger on the pulse of the industry. [TH/IH]

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Okay, so I’m still pissed that Maui Brews closed its doors for business last month, but more so now that I will be missing out on my favorite, most perverse bar past-time. His name is Dino and I am his honorary cocktail shaker. Well, for ITO C R ' S P I those of you unfortunate females who haven’t been suckered by, er, experienced this phenomenon, it goes a little something like this. “What? You’ve never heard of a Cocktail Shaker?” he says mischievously with full glint in the eye. “Step right up and hold this [canister full of cocktail].” Flash to largebreasted gullible girl leaning over bar holding canister to have said bartender grab her unsuspecting hands and “help” her shake voraciously aforementioned canister. Desired effect? A bartender, along with bar crowd audience, giddy with the gaudy show of jiggling tits-in-action. Yeah, okay, and then there’s also the whipped-cream-in-the-handis-worth-two-shots-of-Jack treatment and then that one time... [SC]

Best Dive Bar SLY MONGOOSE Ah, The Goose! My home away from home and the thorn in my side, the Sly Mongoose is that neighborhood bar from back home where you go for pau hana on

EAT ME!

Paia Fish Market Restaurant 100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA (808) 579-8030

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Paddy’s the Pro at Mulligan’s

Friday, or any day for that matter, and meet up with your plumber, your auto mechanic, your postmaster or your future ex-spouse. You can just as soon talk shit with the guy at the end of the bar as you can ring the bell and buy everyone at the bar a drink. It’s your family here; show respect and you can do or say whatever the hell you want. It’s where we like to take beer-in-a-can tastings, collect wooden nickels, get free love advice (like the “Never pull the same knob twice on the cigarette machine” theory) and join in a group sing-a-long of “Aqualung” or that damn Meatloaf song. It’s where I witnessed my first bar brawl one fateful evening and my first time discovering the musical genius of Willie K in an impromptu bar-concert another night. Anything can happen, and does, at the Sly Mongoose. [SC]

Best Bar to Get Drunk for Under $10 LIFE’S A BEACH I had to do research for this one, thinking maybe you voters knew something, or someone, that I didn’t at Life’s A Beach in Kihei. I showed up without knowing a soul and made friends, got drunk and listened to live music not only within a tight budget, but also within a period of about 10 minutes. I wasn’t sure if my bartendress had horns under her hat or wings under her crop top but it didn’t matter. She knew her way around a rum drink like nobody’s business, and all the while served with a smile. [JR]


Best Bar & Best Happy Hour

Best Bartender

never likes to see an empty glass. Come by before your golf game and tune up with a morning libation, he says it improves the game. Need a cool beverage for that midday sun? He is here for you. Did I mention that goddamn Irish accent? [BJ]

PADDY (MULLIGAN’S)

MULLIGAN’S

Best Chinese Restaurant DRAGON DRAGON Everyone craves Chinese food from time to time. Sometimes it’s the middle of the day when you’re at work so you create the “business meeting” excuse. Other times it’s when you’re lazy

r e g r u b e s e e h c a s ’ t a h t Now of! d u o r p e b d ’ t t e f f u B y m m i J t tha

o R n k c o R eal R &

ll

Spend just one night or one afternoon (or both, as in my case!) at Mulligan’s On the Blue in Wailea and you’ll understand why this Irish pub wins our readers’ favor. Not only does Mulligan’s feature two-for-one pupus and $1 off drinks for happy hour, but they also have great nightly live entertainment, not to mention some very mischievous (in the most charming way) Irish bartenders. Oh yeah, you’ll be tantalized by the Cajun Seared Sashimi, Harp Battered Shrimp and Guinness on tap. And yes, you will enjoy flirting with the cute cocktail servers or (like me) taunted mercilessly by Irish Mike and his clan of rebel-rousers, as you enjoy the sounds of Celtic Tigers or John Moore Project, whether inside or enjoying the magnificent skyline outside on their lanai. You may even stay longer than you wanted to, pulled into the merry mayhem that ensues. But, you know, delicious debauchery is good for the soul, and I can think of no better time (Happy Hour) and no better place (Best Bar – Mulligan’s) to pull it off. [SC]

Five days a week will find Paddy "Who's Your Daddy?" serving up fine liquor and brew at Mulligan's On the Blue in Wailea. Paddy is up early every day to quench the heavy thirst of hot Wailea, serving his drinks with a big helping of irresistible Irish charisma and wit, so it’s no wonder you voted him number one, Maui. He keeps the ladies gushing with his Irish accent, while he pours Guinness like the true professional he is. Paddy's expertise is openly shared, he is quick with the orders and

and don’t feel like cooking dinner – hence the “but I’ve worked so hard today, darling!” excuse. And then there’s that special time - oh I don’t know, say, after the bars close - that you really could eat some Sweet and Sour Pork.Well, whatever the time, Maui has chosen Dragon Dragon in Kahului for their Deep Fried Eggplant with Chile-Soy Dipping Sauce, Honey Walnut Prawns, Shark Fin Soup with Crab, Crispy Soft Shell Crab with Chef’s Special Sauce, the Kung Pao Chicken, Sauteed Scallop Szechwan Style and Crispy Gau Gee Mein served up just right. Now if only they delivered at 3 a.m. [SC]

f e e B l a Re

Fresh Hana Beef from Maui Cattle Co. We begin with superior Angus Cows and hand-raise our cattle in paradise on tropical grasses supplemented with all natural feed created from sugar cane and pineapples. Under a warm Hawaiian sun our cattle enjoy perfect growing conditions in a stress and pollution free environment. The result is beef that is not only exceptionally tender and tasty, but lean and healthy. Producing exceptional yields, tenderness and taste begin with dedicated cattlemen who love what they do–raising each cow with personal attention.

Crispy Gau Gee and Me

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FREE BURGER

HardRock Cafe is so proud of our new partnership with Maui Cattle Company that we want to give you our Kama`aina a free burger. Buy one of our fantastic burgers and your partner gets their burger FREE. Valid between 11:00am-3:00pm at Hard Rock Cafe Maui. Please present coupon to server prior to ordering and a valid Hawaii ID. Not valid with any other offers or discounts. Offer good until August 31, 2003.

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‘03 Honda Element DX Sport Utility 4D $20,888 Silver, 4-Cyl., 2.4L VTEC, 5 Spd., P/S, P/W, P/L Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/CD, Power Seat, Roof Rack, Privacy Glass, Tow Pkg, Alloy Wheels #58994

‘96 Buick Regal Custom Sedan 4D $5,988 V6, 3.1L, Auto, FWD, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass. #58652

‘02 GMC Envoy Sport Utility 4D $23,900 Met. Red, 6-Cyl. 4.2L, Auto, 4WD, A/C, Rear P/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/CD, OnStar, Video System, Leather, Dual Power Seats, Roof Rack, Running Brds., Alloy Wheels #58751 ‘01 Ford Expedition Sport Utility 4D $23,988 White, V8, 4.6L, Auto, XLT, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass/CD, Prem. Sound, Power Seat, Third Seat, Roof Rack, Run. Brds., Tow. Pkg., Alloy Wheels #58932 ‘01 Ford F150 SuperCrew Short Bed 4D $24,988 V8, 5.4L, Auto, 4WD, XLT, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass, Bed Liner, Tow Pkg., Alloy Wheels #59052 ‘02 Ford F250 Super Duty Super Cab Short Bed $33,900 Maroon, V8, 7.3L Turbo Diesel, Auto, 4WD, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass/CD, ABS (4-Whl.), Tow Pkg. #58613

CARS

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‘00 Ford Explorer Sport Utility 4D $16,888 White, V6, 4.0L SOHC, Auto, 4WD, XLT, A/C, Rear A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/CD, Roof Rack, Privacy Glass, Run. Brds., Tow Pkg., Alloy Wheels #58849

‘94 Mercury Sable GS Sedan 4D $2,288 Lt. Lbue, V6, 3.8L, Auto, FWD, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass/Multi-CD, Prem. Sound, Power Seat, Alloy Wheels #58955

‘01 Isuzu Rodeo LS Sport Utility 4D $16,988 Bronze, V6, 3.2L, Auto, A/C, P/S, P/W, P/L, Tilt, Cruise, AM/FM/Cass/CD, Prem. Sound, Roof Rack, Privacy Glass,, Run. Brds., Alloy Wheels #58795

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VALLEY ISLE MOTORS 221 Puunene Ave., Kahului, HI 877-FORD (3673)

28

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BEST PLACE TO WATCH MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

Best Pupus

Best Dessert

KKO (KAI KU ONO)

ROY’S SOUFFLE

Pupus aren’t the only great thing about KKO in Kihei. They’ve also got these amazing red leather couches with leopard print pillows, neontrimmed palm fronds covering the lanai and a late night happy hour. Their extensive appetizer menu is served until midnight and includes such yummies as Spicy Kauai Shrimp baked with garlic, butter, lemon juice, Chardonnay and “nuke” paste. KKO also has Mango BBQ Ribs, oysters, Tai grilled calamari, a Crab and Artichoke Dip and amazing sushi, like the Hazey and Howzit rolls. So pimp out on the leather (couches, I mean), suck down a martini (perhaps “sip” is more appropriate?), and eat a fabulous pupu or two (or three...or maybe just one more sushi roll!). [SC]

K

This dessert is on everyone's mind year after year. It’s almost as if people can't stop thinking about it once they've had it. “When's the next time I'm gonna get it?” is what they're thinking afterwards. Hot crunchy chocolate exterior, soft gooey fudgy chocolate inside, accompanied by its perfect mate, vanilla ice cream. Roy's executes this dessert with excellent form, awing audiences worldwide. I'm not a chocolate lover, but this is the stuff dreams are made of. [JR]

Best Saimin HOUSE OF SAIMIN Saimin is a delicatessen in the islands and finding the perfect bowl of noodles can be cause for celebration. Our readers celebrate around one bowl of saimin, with a landslide victory of votes. Of course House of Saimin dominates the world of saimin on Maui. Uncle Rudy and Aunty Nora are there every night cooking up fresh noodles and special broth for their steaming and sensational bowls of goodness. You can get veggies or not, extra chicken sticks or haupia pie, and you can always count on a refreshing candy as they send you out the door with a happier healthier opu, thanks to their handiwork. Lucky for late night people finding themselves on the westside, they have the best and latest night menu around. You can’t beat the prices either! [JR]

Best Fine Dining & Best Dinner ROY’S

DAVE BAUSS (MILAGRO’S)

Best Chicken Wings

Okay, so there’s only two and they’re both great, but the very fact that anyone put in the effort to create an Irish pub on an island in the middle of the Pacific means they should win an award. So I think Reilley’s is going to stumble ITO C R ' S P I away with this one because of their superior location on the west-side that puts them right on the edge of Ka’anapali and plops them within hurling distance of eight major hotels. And with a bar that looks out over the 18th at the North Course, Reilley’s is the place to be when sucking down a cold one after your round or on the day that all drinkers thank the Irish for, St. Paddy’s Day. [TH]

ED

Um, I can only imagine that this award will come as not only a big surprise to Dave, bartender extraordinaire at Milagro’s in Paia, but also a huge, maddening embarrassment. But believe me, I’ve witnessed firsthand the hordes of females clamoring for a space at the small bar just for a sweet smile or a wicked grin from Mr. Pookie Lips. The readers have spoken here, Dave, don’t blame me for your charms – I know you can’t help it. Just keep batting your butterfly lashes, mixing your aphrodisiacal concoctions and quietly, yet authoritatively, mastering your domain. [SC]

BEST IRISH PUB

Food and wine lovers island-wide have decided that they never tire of Roy’s consistently high quality, fine dining cuisine. With an open-view kitchen that invites diners to witness their culinary genius in action, the most tantalizing food, a special menu that pairs Sake with entrées, an extensive yet non-intim-

K

Best Bartender/Cocktail Waitress to Flirt With

Best Burger CHEESEBURGER IN PARADISE

I love chicken wings. I can't help it, it's the perfect appetizer to me, crispy and tangy. They're served with ranch dressing and spicy barbeque sauce along with celery and carrot sticks. It’s even good for you! Well, you could get caught up in my buffalo wing propaganda if you’re not careful. BJ's knows their chicken wings - they come crispy outside, juicy inside, with dips and sticks for all! Followed up with an icy cold draft and I'm in wing heaven, not to mention on a cheap date. [JR]

Wanna Be My Next Guest Shaker?

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SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

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661-8868 LAHAINA

143 Dickenson St. #200•Lahaina•661-2771

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FLATTOPS, FADES, TAPERS & RAZOR SHAVES

SUMMER SPECIAL!

• Herbal Healthcare & Education • Therapeutic Facials & Massage • Detoxifying Body Wraps

HAIRCUTS

EH BRAH!

Out of all of the best places on Maui to get a scrumptious cheeseburger, you voted Cheeseburger in Paradise the best place. YOU ARE KILLIN’ ME! What about all of the local burger places? Come on people, do you really eat here or did you vote it the best because of its name? Regardless of your decision, Cheeseburger in Paradise was voted the best burger. Go get a burger from a server in a red hula skirt. Puhlease… [CM]

HAIRCUTS

BJ’S CHICAGO PIZZERIA

MEN’S

ED

This place is so good it’s not even there anymore! An unfortunate circumstance linked to the obscenely large rent requirements of Lahaina caused Maui Brews to close up shop on what was and still is the best place to watch Monday ITO C R ' S P I Night Football on Maui. Granted, you had to get there in the middle of the day to watch the thing (if you wanted to watch it live), but plenty of TVs and killer happy hour specials on pupus and draft beers - of which there were tons - made Maui Brews THE place to be on Monday night (er, I mean day) for football. [TH]

idating wine menu and the kind of attentive and knowledgeable service that satisfies and does not annoy – oh, and did we mention that Chocolate Soufflé? – Roy’s clearly wins the title for best dinner. I’m sure if they were open for lunch, they’d get that one too. [SC]

505 Front St. #227 (above Bamboo) THE GRID

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“ENJOY A ROMANTIC GETAWAY WITHOUT GOING FAR AWAY” MauiTime Readers’ “Special” Rates through Dec. 15, 2003

Elegant 12 Room Bed & Breakfast Hotel In the Heart of Lahaina Town “Special” Rates: Mountain Rooms $89 • Ocean View Rooms $109 • Parlor Suites $139 Website: www.lahainainn.com • E-mail: inntown@lahainainn.com (800) 669–3444 • (808) 661–0577 • Fax (808) 667–9480 127 Lahainaluna Road, Lahaina, Hawaii 96761

MAUI’S ADULT SUPERSTORE OPEN DAILY:10am–Midnight & 10am–7pm Sundays Largest Magazine Selection on Maui New Releases on Videos & DVDs Largest Selection of Adult Toys Preview Arcade www.paradisespice.com (808)249-2449 • 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku

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K

its own way a brag-worthy memory and to me, it sums up Halloween on Front Street. Candy and Cleavage. [GG]

BEST RECENT MOVIE FILMED IN HAWAII This category was the subject of vicious argument and dedicated campaigning that ended in a tie. Both movies have blondes with pigtails. Both movies have Hawaii’s spectacular scenery. And both scripts have the line “Marsha, Marsha, ITO C R ' S P I Marsha” in them. The obvious movie is A Very Brady Sequel but the second is a little less apparent. In our second film, the “Marsha, Marsha, Marsha” line is not a result of sibling jealousy but is instead screamed as part of a money shot. Our co-winners in the category are the stunning cinematographic genius of the Brady movie and the collection of pornographic films shot at Maui’s Blue Pool. This combination of hearty family entertainment and pure, sexual filth covers both sides of the cinematic spectrum and the merits of each have earned them both a share of the best Hawaiian film title. After all, where would the world be without porn and the Brady Bunch? We start to run into problems when the two come together but hey, I would love to see Marsha…well, that would be neat. [IH]

ED

THE POINT 101.1FM Turn on the radio and you will no doubt hear The Red Hot Chili Peppers followed by Evanescence, Linkin Park and Audioslave. It's inevitable. Turn the dial as much as you want,

For as outstanding as Halloween in Lahaina has gotten over the years, thanks to Lahainatown Action Committee, what with the scantily clad and overly clad all partaking in the act of self-humiliation, I'm still left with memories from a ITO C R ' S P I time when they didn't close that big chunk of Front Street. One such memory was when my friend Ben and I took all of our crap candy and threw it at the costumed fools while my dad drove down Front Street. We managed to get a trial-size pack of Sixlets down a --let's say "bountiful"--woman's cleavage and I'm sure you're all aware that for an 11-year-old boy, that's like finding Jesus. In

ED

Best Radio Station

BEST FESTIVAL OR STREET FAIR

K

ED

If you are reading this and you haven’t already formed an opinion in your mind within two seconds, then you must be so lame that you don't even have your own political cause. My advice to you is to get up off your big lazy okole and get ITO C R ' S P I knee deep in the shit around you because there is lots of it. Don't know where to begin? Look deep within yourself and find something that you're passionate about, even remotely, you lethargic creature of capitalism, and argue desperately in your underdog's favor. There are plenty of great causes that continue to mark our disgusting human existence and will remain until death do us part: human rights, the Angelican faith, racial and sexual equality, hunger, child labor, overdevelopment, Catholic priests, oppressive governments, our deteriorating and polluted environment, the wrath of war, the existence of aliens and your right to be nude 24/7. Just stay away from the cults, mush brain. [JR]

you're going to hear it. But 101.1 The Point is the lesser evil in the land of limited song play. And sometimes, being the lesser evil makes you the best. The Point consistently plays good music, is based on Maui and has the best commentary and sound bytes between songs. Best of all, they don't cut to lame shows like Loveline every night. For those of us with a broken tape player (not even a broken CD player), the radio is all we have. The Point makes those hot days in the car a little more bearable and getting stuck on the Pali just that much more fun. [IH]

K

BEST POLITICAL CAUSE

Best Place To Hear Live Music HAPA’S This past year alone, Hapa’s has hosted live music from hip-hop to Hawaiian and punk rock to jazz. With Willie K leading the forefront, other bands that have made special appearances include Kapena, Malino, Fiji, Oshen, BET, Dezman, Gomega, Piilani, Catch a Fire, Crazy Fingers, Kanekoa, Nuff Sed, Cool Rush, Neto Peraza and Louise Lambert, Kohomua, Typical Hawaiians, Sex With Lurch, The Eyeshadows, Pepper, Soulive and ALO. Oh, the list goes on and on. Thank you, Hapa’s for continuing to pioneer the way for live music venues on Maui! [SC]

Best Art Gallery GALERIE LASSEN Galerie Lassen undoubtedly was voted Maui’s best art gallery because it evokes the same sense of awe as Lassen’s paintings. Touring it is like entering into one of Lassen’s gloriously luminescent paintings.The experience immerses you in flamboyance, color and a sense of other-worldliness. You feel like you’re on a trip to Disneyland, when you come faceto-face with Lassen’s audacious painting of Mickey Mouse in his role as the Sorcerer’s Apprentice. The gallery is a perfect reflection of Lassen’s art: breathtaking, bold, dazzlingly colorful and chosen the best on Maui. [JK] [I think I’m gonna vomit now-Ed.]

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Best Movie Theater

perfect setting to forget my mid-week blues and do some serious people watching. Enter the Castle Theater and experience a multi-level (where else can you sit in the balcony to see a big-screen movie?), gorgeously designed building, where you can view the best in independent and Oscar-caliber films. The Maui Film Festival at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center in Wailuku is a slice of societal and cinematic pie – the sweetest, most delicious kind. [SC]

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

Best Local Musician WILLIE K The only reason this guy classifies as Best Local Musician instead of an international legend is because he doesn’t promote himself off of the rock. Seriously, Willie K is one of the best entertainers you will ever see. EVER. His voice is better than 90-percent of the singers you hear on the radio and his guitar playing is virtuoso-like. In fact, I don’t know which he’s better at, singing or playing the guitar. And to top it off, he’s a one-man comedy act at the same time. If he ever looked beyond the Hawaiian Islands, Willie K could make a career out of entertaining people the world over. [TH]

Best Reggae/Jawaiian Band

R'S

PAIA

579-9461 WWW.ISLANDINKTATTOO.COM 32

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K

Best Jazz Musician/Ensemble TOM CONWAY Maui's man of gypsy jazz takes the top number in votes according to our readers. His soulful strumming takes my jazz hands out of my pockets and onto the steering wheel searching

ED

ED

The Fourth of July is such a great day to celebrate our country's independence. Lahaina Town is the best place to see the fireworks celebration. Front Street is closed down just as it is on Halloween. People from all over the island and all ITO C R ' S P I over the world flock to the street to play witness to 10-15 minutes of spectacular fireworks. Whether you are watching them from Baby Beach, in a car up Lahainaluna, in a boat or drunk on the street, you are guaranteed a wonderful show. It'll make you proud to be an American. [CM]

maui’s own Rastamon - Marty Dread

ITO

C R ' S PI

BEST GAY BAR/GAY NIGHT I am considered by many to be the best straight "gay friend" in the world. I am a good listener, I am a professional shopper and, of course, I give the best beauty tips. On several occasions, I have ventured to Hapa's nightclub in ITO C R ' S P I Kihei on a Tuesday night. Tuesday night is "Ultra Fab Tuesday". “Fab” as in fabulous, gay, dance-with-your-shirt-off night. As soon as you enter Hapa's, house and techno rhythms fill the air with a touch of sass. Okay, not just a touch. A full-blown, smack-in-theass room filled with sassy, hot men and women. All in all, each night has turned out to be loads of fun and since we’ve lost Jabba’s Place this past year, Hapa’s thankfully accommodates with the best gay night on Maui. [CM]

ED

BEST PLACE TO SEE FIREWORKS

100 HANA HWY.

for more shows. While Best of Maui's top Jazz musician Tom Conway is not often gigging, he can be heard by picking up his CD, Hot Gypsy Nights. Mana'o Radio in Wailuku, FM station 91.5, features local, independent musicians who are trying to receive recognition for their hard work. Conway presented his CD to Bill Best, one of the DJs at the station. Best played the CD immediately and Conway was put on the air to talk about the CD. "I am so grateful for the people at Mana'o Radio," Conway said. "They still play my CD and I have had people recognize the group because of Mana'o Radio." [JR/CM]

Marty Dread has put Maui Reggae on the map, and kept reggae alive and kicking with his weekly reggae nights at venues around the island. My first Marty experience happened to be over 15 years ago, as a young teen carousing the Baldwin beach area for cute boys, where he would perform free shows as a Maui youth himself. While neither of us has aged a bit, Marty Dread's reggae career has matured with several CDs, lots of airtime and regular *paid* gigs on the island. Irie! [JR]

“TATTOO WITH A VIEW”

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK NOON-CLOSE

Maui’s Beloved Jazz Man...Tom Conway

MARTY DREAD

K

ED

ITO

I don’t like Mondays. Fridays are always so far away and the weekends are just too much hype. Wednesdays are the days of pleasant surprises for me: the ambience of an outdoor café, friends mingling, strangers smilP I C ing and music playing creates the

K

BEST NIGHT TO MARK ON YOUR CALENDAR EVERY MONTH

K

Do I really need to tell you? Here on our small island, we really only have one movie theater that can be considered the best - The Maui Mall Megaplex. Not only is it the newest movie venue we have, but it smells the best. Only those select few that have no sense of smell would have voted for the Wallace Theater at the Wharf. Seriously, the Wharf? I know we are rich in tradition and we love to preserve pieces of history, but the wharf is no ancient treasure. The Megaplex, on the other hand, with its high ceilings and stadium seating - no wonder it’s the best. I mean they have everything. They even have reclining chairs for the kids when they get bored during "Sinbad; Legend of the Seas," and parents, don't forget those love seats… [KH]

Best Club DJ DANIEL J Daniel J has been a centrifugal force in Maui’s spinning scene bringing fresh spinning meat to our carnivorous ears and generous servings of dance parties for past, present and future. Keeping with the blips and beeps of the DJ scene that changes faster than you can say turntable, Daniel J has treated Maui to an extravagant buffet of DJs and sounds, always handing out the latest CDs to his fans. I have indulged on many a sweaty night of sweet groovy capering to the sights, smells and ear candy served up by Daniel and his cohorts. Obviously you too, Maui Time readers, have a swell memory or two as you cast your votes for this Maui mixmaster icon. [JR]


SANSEI The Sansei restaurants in Kapalua and Kihei are not only known for their fabulous sushi, but for also for their karaoke nights. On Thursdays and Fridays, the wonderful residents of Maui go to Sansei to belt out their favorite tunes. Amateurs and professionals all attend –you never know who’ll show up (like Michelle Branch in Kihei a few months ago!) and sometimes, a little bit of alcohol helps the performances. Out of all the places on Maui to karaoke, Sansei's was voted the best and my screeching renditions may have had something to do with that. [CM]

K

ED

Okay, I can’t even write this without laughing. Let me start by saying that platform slip-on leather sandals do not double for bicycle shoes. Walking down Front Street, you are bound to see your fair share of ITO C freak shows and South Kihei R ' S P I Road is no stranger to the occasional failure to negotiate a curb resulting in a nasty little tumble. But the happenings of one sunny Wednesday afternoon takes topbilling in my accidental street theater memory bank. Walking alone, minding my own busi-

Best Cover Band CRUNCH PUPS

0 0 : p 9 . m l i t . ‘ e p v e o ry Satur h s n a c u day n o y i ow

What’s better than hearing all your favorite alternative rock songs as you down your fifth Jägermeister, chat it up with friends and attempt to use that “fail-proof” pickup line on your next victim? Crunch Pups are a talented group of musicians who help you achieve this nighttime nirvana. They effortlessly breeze through an eclectic mix of some of the best college radio hits so well that at times, you’d swear you were listening to a surprise live concert by 311, The Strokes or Third Eye Blind. You can catch Crunch Pups island-wide also playing covers from Red Hot Chili Peppers, Blind Melon, Incubus, Dave Matthews, Matchbox Twenty, White Stripes, Violent Femmes and Sublime. [SC]

at Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center.

ght

THE BEST ACCIDENTAL STREET THEATER

ness, I see a young lady wearing a mini skirt, dark glasses and the above-mentioned bike riding foot apparel. A perfect get-up for disaster and not necessarily the best choice for chugging along on a Schwinn. The recipe for disaster culminates with the approach of an oncoming car and her efforts to get onto the sidewalk. As she angles her bike, one of her sandals slips off, ends up under her back tire, sends her front tire into the curb and she goes ass over tea kettle into the dirt. She had this look on her face like, yeah, I’m pretty much screwed. After I made sure she was okay and grabbed her sandal for her, tears of laughter streamed down my face and I wet myself. [IH]

N

Best Place For Karaoke

It’s the place to be! • Receive a Deluxe Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center Tote Bag or Key Ring & Knife Set

with your purchase of $50.00 or more made between 6 & 9 pm on Saturday.

g s xs

See the Customer Service Center next to Ben Bridge for rules and procedures.

• Shop participating Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center merchants between 7 and 9 pm for great discounts and specials and to sign up for Fabulous Monthly Giveaways including: ★ ★ ★ ★

Accommodations for Two Nights for Two at Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel Dinner for Two at Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel Tiki Terrace $30 Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center Gift Certificate

$50 Dining Credit at any one of the Restaurant Outlets at the Renaissance Beach Resort

• Entertainment by Owana Salazar on the Queen’s Stage at 7 pm on Saturday Don’t miss the

9t h An n u al

s

ss

Pineapple Fe sti val

s

Sat. & Sun. July 19–20, 10 am - 4 pm

big daddy CRUNCH Pimpin’ da ho’s

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Fingers gets the pheromones flowing for many a Friday night hook-up by infectious soul-reggae-hiphop-rock-pop covers and originals, despite the crowded bar with overpriced drinks. Crazy Fingers has played just about every possible location on Maui, catch them when you can and keep your dancing shoes on ‘cuz you will be bumpin’ and grindin’ with the best of ‘em. [JR]

OLD LAHAINA LUAU Old Lahaina Luau wins this victory with an amazing count of votes. Why is this luau so loved? Perhaps it's the remarkable luau grounds that give you an intimate look at the Hawaiian culture and food and dance, despite hundreds of other malihini around you. Is it the beautiful performers and their mesmerizing dance through Hawaiian history, or the 'broke da mout' onolicious spread of kau kau? Perhaps it's the pour of mai tais faster than a waterfall in Hana, or the dazzling sunset views. It's all of these things and more. Old Lahaina Luau dancers also brave the New York winter cold (in hula costumes) every year to bring a taste of our islands to the Macy's parade, spreading Maui's aloha nationwide and further. Well done, Old Lahaina Luau, ho’omaika'i. [JR]

Best Guitar Slinger With A Drum Machine MAURICE BEGA

BEST LOCAL BAND TO SHAKE YOUR GROOVE TO

You can always dance the night away at Hapa’s. They have the biggest and best dance floor on Maui. My favorite night happens to be Amatuer Pole Dancing night. Hot pants and hooker heels required. Shake your bootie and find a cutie. Hapa’s has a great schedule with something different going on every night so if pole dancing isn’t your thang maybe Willie K on Mondays is. [JR]

BEST ADULT VIDEO SELECTION For pure, unadulterated entertainment, check out the stacks at Paradise Spice in Wailuku. We’re talking serious intellectual X-rated cinema, of course. With titles like “Fast Times at Deep Crack High” and “Saving Ryan’s ITO C R ' S P I Privates”, just perusing the endless video titles is enough to keep you in stitches, and in stock, of only the highest caliber of pornorific film fun. You can even tell your co-workers that you’re doing “research” in order to take an extralong lunch break and venture out to the most video-intriguing adult store in Maui. I mean, so I’ve heard anyway. [SC]

Best Hard Rock/ Metal/Punk Band KHRINJ For over five years, the guys of Khrinj have rocked you hard, all over the island, and these days they’ve never sounded better. Now you show them your appreciation by voting them the best original Hard Rock Band – good job, Maui! There is something to be said for musical diversity and Maui Time readers know that when it’s time to rock, it’s time to Khrinj. Soon the world will know, too (insert diabolical laugh here) – right guys? Right?! [SC]

BEST STREET CHARACTER A casual walk under the Banyan tree can turn into a not-so-typical church service. You have seen him with his long, gray hair and mustache – we call him Preacher Man. He plays the guitar and preaches like the world is coming to an end. His passion for the Bible runs deep through his blood and then shoots straight out of his mouth, However, there’s another contender for the title. Driving from Lahaina to the other side (and vice versa) on the Pali can be curvy and dangerous. So when you are rounding the corners, keep a careful eye for the ever-popular Pali Walker. Preacher man and Pali Walker are definitely the best street characters on Maui. [CM]

K

ED

ITO

Soulful ass-grinding grooves are just what we need on a Friday night and Crazy Fingers can deliver, making themselves a Maui institution at Longhi’s. While Longhi’s may suck as a C venue without them, Crazy

HAPA’S

ED

This is the life; we can lay in the sun on Kaanapali beach on Saturday afternoons drinking beers hidden in cozies, listening to the sweet sounds of Maurice Bega, Maui's favorite guitar player with a drum machine. His catchy songs and smooth strummings keep the beer going down and the conversations playful at the Hula Grill, and their outdoor venue keeps folks like me on the beach entertained, too. I am not sure what Maurice has been up to since his last well received CD, 2 Hearts, so I leave it up to you readers to catch up with him. You can hear this hardworking local musician also at BJ’s on Tuesday from 8-10:30 p.m. [JR]

Best Place To Go Dancing

K

Best Luau

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COVER STORY

OPEN 7 DAYS A WEEK

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36

JULY 17, 2003

DINING

1285 Front St.- Makai of Lahaina Cannery Mall

661-3322

Kihei Tuesdays & Saturdays at MARGARITAS BEACH CANTINA

101 North Kihei Road 879.5275

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DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Aloha Grill - 22 different burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. kids meals. Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin & more. 270 Dairy Rd. 877-2400 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or take-out. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10am to 10pm, lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday thru Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken catsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kihei. 425 Koloa St. 871-7782 Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein, Sweet and Sour Pork, and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall 893-1628 Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch, and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course. 877–7461 Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly priced Japanese and Local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center. 871–6977 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine. Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. 33 Lono St., Ste 150. 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and

freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to ‘take five’. 444 Hana Hwy. 877–CUPS Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. Call for buffet schedule. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului. 877-0051 Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and Ono local grinds. Open for breakfast. lunch and dinner. Also offer catering services. 1900 Main St., Wailuku. 244-7888 Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas ala carte. Casual dining, pinatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Ramon’s - Contemporary Mexican, full sushi bar, awesome desserts. Banquet area available. 2102 Vineyard St. 244–7243 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous fifties cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat, & seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main 243-9560 Shakalaka Fish ‘N Chips - Mahimahi, Ono, Shrimp & Calamari in a light, crisp batter with homemade tartar sauces. Yum! 2010 Main St. 986-0855 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave. 877-0121 Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6am-4pm Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave. 243-2243 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for Breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch & dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill 244-0845 Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch take-

Antonio’s - Homemade Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 875-8800 BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari or chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 875–0811 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1am. Live entertainment and dancing 10pm ‘til 1am. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., #314. 874-9299 Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet or hang out in the classy atmosphere of the bar. Open for luch and dinner from 11 a.m. on. Lower level of Ma’alaea Harbor Village. 244-8844 Bubba Burgers - Burgers and fries done the oldfashioned way, fresh & made-to-order. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 891-2600 Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort. 879–2224 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies & salads. 1881 S. Kihei, #112. 879-4799 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken catsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kahului. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., #A107. 875-7782

DeanO’s Maui Pizza Cafe - Top quality pizza with traditional toppings, full menu with salads, pasta and sandwiches. 2439 S. Kihei Rd. 891–2200 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. 8 pool tables. 2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874–8869 El Restaurante Pasatiempo - Authentic homestyle Mexican food, with a wide range of dishes and meats to choose from. Azeka’s Plaza II. 879–1089 Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin & guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, all-day lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei Rd. 879–2607 Greek Bistro - Moderately priced Greek and Continental Cuisine. Open for dinner 5-10pm. Kai Nani Village, 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9330 Harlow’s Restaurant - Enjoy fine dining among the cozy and chic furniture and great sunset views. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 879–1954 Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh & delicious sushi, open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea 879-7677 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos”, too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5pm to 2am Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St. 891-MEXI Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 875–1007 Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast & lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken, and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-2230 La Creperie - French cuisine in a stylish and comfortable atmosphere. Serving escargot, ratatouille, and many other dishes. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–0822 Life’s a Beach - Food & drinks in a fun atmosphere. Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib, and grilled

Voted #1 Steak Outstanding Seafood Wine Spectator Award of Excellence

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Located at the Entrance to Kaanapali

ROASTERS

out, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St. 242-4371 Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, datsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St. 242-9630 Wei Wei BBQ and Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku 242-7928 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches, soups, and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

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1913 South Kihei Rd. • 874-6444

662-4343

TRY OUR FOOD, NOT JUST OUR FRESH BEANS!

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SURF

SERVING LUNCH & DINNER!

658 Front St • Lahaina • Wharf Center • 661-4666 DINING

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SERVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH OPEN FROM 7AM-6PM M-F, 8AM-5PM SAT., 8AM-2:30PM SUN.

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ANY POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE with this coupon. expires 7/31/03

444 Hana Hwy. Kahului Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

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DININGLISTINGS mahimahi are just some of the specialties. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr. 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 891–8883 LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings & Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a great bar and huge deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9944 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops. 243–2206 Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5pm. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli Street. 244-9028 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting, compliments the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd. 874–4041 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer. Breakfast is served till 3PM. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel. 879–7224 Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro”, salads or wraps, Kihei Kalama Village Center. 875–7679 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian Fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30 to 10pm, Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave. 8911120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific

Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road. 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874–6444 Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea. 8748000 Spices - Steak, seafood & more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8860 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 874-3779 Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea. 875-9983

UPCOUNTRY Cafe Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet & savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave. 579-6323 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches & specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia. 579-8770 Casanova’s - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia. 579–9453. Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani. 572-2395 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s award-

winning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile. 572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-2661 Hokus Pokus - Vegetarian and Vegan cuisine. Open 3-9pm. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia. 579-9144 Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef, and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11am-4pm. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia. 579–8844 Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-5228 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572–7241 Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway. 878-1535 Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6am to 10pm Sun. thru Thurs. - 6am to midnight Fri. and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia. 5796009 Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun & more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd. 575-9363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572-8711 Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau. 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh & tasty mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave/Pukalani Square 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia! 3 Baldwin St. 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific rim dining for vege-

Homestyle New American Comfort Food

Vegetarian Selections

W he

Fresh Local Fish

& le p eo p re

d foo

tarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia. 579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia. 579–8030 Picnics Restaurant - Home of the famous Spinach Nut Burger. Breakfast & Lunch. 30 Baldwin Ave. 5798021 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas & more! 1202 Makawao Ave. 572-7808

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-4300 A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes & cookies. Lahaina Center. 667–0623 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin & more. Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-5566 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with a Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua. 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. 730 Front St. 661-0700. Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center. 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with Forrest Gump movie memorabilia and logo wear. 889 Front St. 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St. 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine

e together! m o c e t tas ood g f o

Locally Raised Grass Fed Beef Full Bar-Late Night Pupus(10’til-close) Homemade desserts IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779 38

JULY 17, 2003

DINING

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am - 1am Dinner served 5pm - 10pm


DININGLISTINGS menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St. 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island-inspired contemporary and traditional cuisine.1450 Front St. 661–0937 CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies, and more! Open daily from 5:30am-6pm. 2580 Kekaa Drive Fairway Shops, Kaanapali 667-0968 Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining & Margarita bar - serving breakfast, lunch & dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the intimate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna. 667–5117 Erik’s Seafood - Fresh seafood and sushi great steamers! Open nightly. BYOB. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina 662-8780 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11am to 12am daily. 505 Front Street, 661-8112. Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, 669-5621. Gerard’s - Fine French dining in Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna. 661–8939 Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood, and ambience, Also, late-night menu served until 1:30am! 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. 669-3474 Fleming’s On the Green - Fine dining, on the golf course. Delicate raviolis, to the Filet Mignon, wonderful sauces. 2000 Village Rd., Kapalua 665–1000. Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabil-

ia. Love All-Serve All. 900 Front St. 667–7400 Hecocks - Italian restaurant & cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina 661-8810 Honokowai Okazuya & Deli - Gourmet plate lunches, sandwiches and pastas prepared as you order. Take out available. 3600-D Lower Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 665–0512 House of Saimin - Ono homemade Saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here.Old Lahaina Center. 667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in a 1940’s style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight. Whaler’s Village. 667–6636 i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St. 661–8422 Java Jazz - Coffee bar and restaurant with great food, ecclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch & dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787 Johnny’s Burger Joint - The greatest burgers on the west side, served late, with bar and pool table! 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali. 661-4500 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies & kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace. 661–9999 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. 845 Front St. 661–4811 Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10pm., Sushi 5:30-11:30pm. 136 DickensonSt., Lahaina 667-5555 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro”, Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St. 661–3472 Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cui-

sine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway. 661-4495 Lemongrass - Serving ala carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St., Lahaina 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St. 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, cole slaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza. 665–6262 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials and merry atmosphere. 844 Front St. 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh mexican food fast. Vegetarian too. Honokowai Marketplace. 662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more. Maui Marriott, Kaanapali 667–1200 ext. 51 Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimpon-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana 665-1822 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St. 667-4341. Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Suite 113. 661–6633 Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch & dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina 661-36362 Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch & dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua. 669-6299 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole. 2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambiance suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the

Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, upstairs. 669–5000 Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger, and watch sports. Large parties welcome. Whalers Village. 661–3123 Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA Prime Steak, fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 900 Front St., Lahaina 661-8815 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua. 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallager. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 669–1500 Sir Wilfred’s - Lahaina Cannery Malls gourmet coffee house and cafe. Soups, Salads and Sandwiches grace this simple menu. Lahaina Cannery. 667–1941 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy. Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency. 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch & take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd. 669-3539 Swan Court - One of the top ten romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency Maui. 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, curry, pad thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center. 667–2814 The Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffetstyle rotating menu ranging from “Beakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast”. Many mimosas. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua. 669-6200. Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” The Westin Maui. 667–2525 Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St. 667–4044

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JULY 17, 2003

39


FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Unloading Firepower Bruckheimer & Bay Damn the Propaganda Torpedoes Bad Boys II (★★★) "Bad Boys II" is packed with every brand of action movie cliché known to man and some we could do without. Brains get splattered, a KKK assembly has a cross burning during a drug deal and corpses serve as drug smuggling baggage in this typically expensive and messy Jerry Bruckheimer production. Bruckheimer has become the brand name when discussing the archetype of everything that's wrong with Hollywood. Martin Lawrence and Will Smith share a breezy chemistry as a pair of loopy narcotics detectives when the onscreen spectacle isn't steam-rolling their vivacious personalities. Director Michael Bay is a hybrid director who shoots and cuts every scene as if it were a three-minute music video. The success of Bay's early music video career, and foray into television commercials for Coke, Nike and Milk are textbook examples of the power of propaganda to control media managed markets. So it's not a little disconcerting to see a large-scale movie like "Bad Boys II" perpetuating stereotypes of racism, reck-

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JULY 17, 2003

FILM

less U.S. police and military influence, drug trafficking and cold-blooded murder with all of the caviler capitalist distillation of a TV commercial. From behind a super slick veil of over-the-top action, "Bad Boys II" treads gracelessly over the same terrain that Brian De Palma's "Scarface" astonished audiences with 20 years ago. The difference here is an openly lawless sensibility employed by every authoritarian group at play in the movie. It is a breast-beating anthem blasting out a clarion call of precision executed disaster. The flashes of helium-filled story that scarcely map out the narrative skeleton have our returning duo set to break up at the end of their current mission because of the stressful situations that Mike (Smith) gets Marcus into (ie. Car crashing pursuits and bloody shootouts). It doesn't help Marcus' questionable sanity - he's experimented considerably with therapy -- that Mike is dating Marcus' DEA agent sister Syd (Gabriele Union), who coincidentally is working undercover with Miami "ecstasy" drug lord Tapia (Jordi Molla "Blow") as a money changer. From this bare form, the movie sets out to steadily outdo itself with gross-out scenes of intense gun and car vio-

You ain’t so bad...Eye of the tiger, baby, eye of the tiger lence that eventually settles into a decidedly darker brand of gallows humor before cranking out an obligatory exploding mansion scene for its finale. When our heroes seek refuge in a landmineridden area outside the walls of Guantanamo Bay (internment camp), we are expected to forget the US military policy of "shoot anything that moves," and accept that the twitchy guards will wait for Michael Bay to shout "cut" before firing their weapons. The magnitude of fantasy on display is telling for its quick ability to numb the audience to a level of violence unmatched by any movie other than perhaps Spielberg's gore-fest "Saving Private Ryan." Bruckheimer and Bay are moving in a very definite direction of propaganda cinema. Since Bay

and Bruckheimer made the original "Bad Boys" in 1995, the duo has constructed "The Rock," "Armageddon," and "Pearl Harbor" in a lineage of populist entertainment that relies on utmost spectacle to convey a world where gunfire and explosion are natural outgrowths of a world order of revenge. To argue that the filmmakers are following or setting a trend is a moot point because no other country or group of filmmakers has access to the limitless supply of money and weaponry that these Hollywood moguls do. Bay and Bruckheimer are consciously positing a New World disorder and, with "Bad Boys II," it's expected that droves of minority audiences will be along for the ride. Dangerously numbing territory lies ahead - buyers beware. Rated R 151 mins.


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Castle Theatre, 572-3456 Chicago - PG13 - Wednesday 5, 7:30pm

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Wednesday, July 23 Chicago 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater Named Best Picture of 2002 at the 75th Academy Awards. Led all movies with 13 Oscar nominations for 2002, including Best Picture, Best Director (Rob Marshall), and four acting nominations. "The movie is a dazzling song and dance extravaganza, with just enough words to support the music and allow everyone to catch their breath between songs" raved Roger Ebert. Also received a leading 8 Golden Globe nominations in 2002, including one for Best Picture (Musical or Comedy). Starring Catherine Zeta-Jones, Renée Zellweger, Richard Gere, John C. Reilly, Queen Latifa, Christine Baranski, Taye Diggs, and Lucy Liu. PG-13. 113 min. Tickets: $7 w/MFF passport. $10 single.

New This Week BAD BOYS II - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - Two narcotics detectives (Will Smith, Martin Lawrence) have been assigned to a high-tech task force investigating the flow of designer ecstasy into Miami. This leads them to a conspiracy involving a vicious Kingpin, whose ambitions have ignited a bloody turf war. Also stars Gabrielle Union. See Film Critique. FREAKY FRIDAY - (PG) - Comedy - A tomboy teenage girl, Annabel (Lindsay Lohan), and her widowed mother, Ellen (Jamie Lee Curtis), who are always arguing with each other, somehow exchange bodies. HOW TO DEAL - (PG13) - Romantic Comedy Mandy Moore stars as Halley, a young high school student who is disillusioned with love after seeing the many dysfunctional relationships around her. But when a tragic event in her life leads to a romantic encounter with a young man, Halley realizes the possibility of true love can sometimes lie in the most unconventional of places.

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Government spy Johnny English playing with the noodle JOHNNY ENGLISH - (PG) - Comedy/Action - When her majesty's crown jewels are stolen by a conniving Frenchman (John Malkovich), who also plans to steal the queen's throne, Johnny English (Rowan Atkinson), a bit unseasoned but intensely enthusiastic, is thrown onto the case. Fast cars, high tech gadgets, top secret info Johnny can hardly believe it. He may be in over his head, but his courage and dedication are unmatched - especially after he meets double agent Lorna Campbell (Natalie Imbruglia) and discovers that falling in love makes saving the nation even more exciting. WHALE RIDER - (PG13) - Drama - A Maori tribe must contend with a female as their leader after her twin brother dies at childbirth, and she must struggle to prove herself.

Now Showing 2 FAST 2 FURIOUS - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - A former cop teams up with his ex-con best friend to transport an illegal shipment of money for a shady dealer in Miami, while working undercover in the world of street car racing to bring the dealer down. Stars Paul Walker,

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Tyrese Gibson and Ludacris. 28 DAYS LATER - (R) - Thriller/Horror - A virus that locks those infected into a permanent state of killing rage, is accidentally released from a British research facility. Carried by animals and humans, the virus is impossible to contain, and spreads across the entire planet. Twentyeight days later, a small group of survivors are trapped in London, caught in a desperate struggle to protect themselves from the infected. CHARLIE’S ANGELS 2: FULL THROTTLE - (PG13) Action/Comedy - The Angels (Drew Barrymore, Cameron Diaz, Lucy Liu) prepare to strike without warning as they go undercover to retrieve two missing silver bands which contain valuable encrypted information that reveals the new identities of every person in the Federal Witness Protection Program. When witnesses start turning up dead, only the Angels, using their expertise as masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts, can stop the perpetrator, a mysterious 'fallen' Angel (Demi Moore). FINDING NEMO - (G) - Animation - A fish named Nemo and his father, Marlin, are separated at the Great Barrier Reef, and Marlin sets about finding his lost son - who has become trapped in a fish tank overlooking the Sydney Harbor. THE HULK - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - A genetic experiment gone awry leads a scientist (Eric Bana) to become a menacing green giant with superhuman strength when under anger and emotional stress. Also stars Jennifer Connelly. THE ITALIAN JOB - (PG13) - Action - After pulling off an amazing gold bullion heist in Venice, Italy, Charlie (Mark Wahlberg) and his gang can't believe it when one of them turns out to be a double-crosser. Now the job isn't about the payoff, it's about payback. Enter Stella (Charlize Theron), a beautiful nerves-of-steel safecracker, who joins Charlie and his former gang when they follow the backstabber to California, where they plan to re-steal the gold by tapping into Los Angeles' traffic control system, manipulating signals and creating one of the biggest traffic jams in L.A. history. Also stars Edward Norton. THE LEAGUE OF EXTRAORDINARY GENTLEMEN - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - This Victorian age adventure film brings together the best characters from science fiction - including Allan Quartermain, Captain Nemo, Dr. Jekyll, Tom Sawyer, and The Invisible Man and brings them together as part of a secret agency dedicated to fighting an evil madman known as the Fantom. LEGALLY BLONDE 2: RED, WHITE & BLONDE (PG13) - Comedy - When Elle Woods (Reese Witherspoon) finds out her beloved Bruiser’s canine relatives are being used as cosmetic test subjects, she heads to D.C. to accessorize her rights and take matters into her own well-manicured hands. PIRATES OF THE CARIBBEAN: CURSE OF THE BLACK PEARL - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - Set in the Caribbean Sea in the 17th century, this is the story of a gentleman rogue of a pirate, Jack Sparrow (Johnny Depp), who teams up with the daughter (Keira Knightley) of a governor (Jonathan Pryce) to stop the evil plan of a ship of dangerous pirates (led by Geoffrey Rush) who are trying to reverse an ancient curse that leaves them stuck between life and death, with the light of the moon revealing their skeletons, like some kind of undead monsters. SINBAD: LEGEND OF THE SEVEN SEAS - (PG) Animation - Framed for stealing one of the world’s most priceless and powerful treasures - the Book of Peace Sinbad has one chance to find and return the precious book, or his best friend Proteus will die. TERMINATOR 3: RISE OF THE MACHINES - (R) Sci-Fi/Action - Arnold Schwarzenegger returns in this third installment of the popular sci-fi action saga as a cyborg from the future once again becoming involved in the affairs of twentysomehing John Connor and his first battles with the SkyNet machine network.

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Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee $ 2 Fast 2 Furious - PG13 - Th only 6:55, 9:20 28 Days Later - R - Th-Fr, M-W (11:10, 1:50, 4:20), 7:05, 9:35, Sa-Su (11:10, 1:50), 4:20, 7:05, 9:35 Bad Boys 2 - R - Fr, M-W (12, 1, 1:30, 3:15, 4:15, 4:45), 7, 7:30, 8, 10, Sa-Su (12, 1, 1:30, 3:15), 4:15, 4:45, 7, 7:30, 8, 10 Johnny English - PG - Fr, M-W (11, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30), 7:45, 9:55, Sa-Su (11, 1:10, 3:20), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - PG13 Th (11, 11:30, 1:30, 2, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:30, 9:30, 10, Fr, MW (11, 11:30, 1:30, 2, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:15, 9:30, 9:50, Sa-Su (11, 11:30, 1:30, 2), 4, 4:30, 7, 7:15, 9:30, 9:50 Legally Blonde 2 - PG13 - Th (11:15, 11:45, 1:45, 2:15, 4:15, 4:45), 7:15, 7:45, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (11:45, 2:15, 4:45), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:45, 2:15), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 Pirates of the Caribbean - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (11, 1, 2, 4, 5), 7, 8, 10, Sa-Su (11, 1, 2), 4, 5, 7, 8, 10 Sinbad - PG - Th (11, 11:30, 1, 1:30, 3, 3:30, 5, 5:30), 7:30, 9:30, Fr, M-W (11:30, 1:30, 3:30, 5:30), 7:30, Sa-Su (11:30, 1:30, 3:30), 5:30, 7:30 Terminator 3 - R - Th (11:15, 11:30, 11:45, 1:45, 2, 2:15, 4:15, 4:30, 4:45), 7, 7:15, 7:30, 9:30, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (11:15, 1:45, 4:15), 7:15, 9:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30, 9:45

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Charlie’s Angels 2 - PG13 - Th (12:30, 2), 4:45, 5:30, 7:10, 7:55, 9:40, 10:15, Fr-W (12:30, 3), 5:30, 7:55, 10:15 Finding Nemo - G - Th (12:35, 1:30, 3:05), 4, 5:30, 7:05, 7:50, 9:30, 10:05, Fr (12:35, 3:05), 5:30, 10:05, Sa-W (12:35, 3:05), 5:30, 7:50, 10:05 Freaky Friday - PG13 - Fr only 7:45 How To Deal - PG13 - Fr (12:25, 2:45), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45, Sa-W (12:25, 2:45), 5:05, 7:20, 9:45 The Hulk - PG13 - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:25, 10:15, Fr (1:15), 4:30, 7:25, 10:15 The Italian Job - PG13 - Daily (12:20, 2:45), 5:10, 7:35, 9:55 Whale Rider - PG13 - Fr (12:40, 3), 5:20, 7:45, 10:05, Sa-W (12:40, 3), 5:20, 7:45, 10:05

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Bad Boy 2 - R - Fr-W (12:15), 4:05, 7, 10 Charlie’s Angels 2 - PG13 - Th only (12:45, 3:15), 5:45, 8, 10:15 Legally Blonde 2 - PG13 - Th (1, 3:30), 6, 8:15, 10:30, FrW (1, 3), 5, 7:30, 10:30 Pirates of the Caribbean - PG13 - Th (12:15), 4:05, 7, 10, Fr-W (12:45), 4:10, 7:10, 10:05 Terminator 3 - R - Th (12:30, 3), 5:30, 8, 10:30, Fr-W (12:30, 3), 5:20, 7:45, 10:15

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Charlie’s Angels 2 - PG13 - Th only (4:30), 7:30, 9:55 Johnny English - PG - Fr, M-W (4:45), 7, 9, Sa-Su (12, 2), 4:45, 7, 9 The League of Extraordinary Gentlemen - PG13 Th-Fr, M-W (4), 7, 10, Sa-Su (11, 1:30), 4, 7, 10 Legally Blonde 2 - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4:45), 7:15, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:45, 2:15), 4:45, 7:15, 9:30 Terminator 3 - R - Th-Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:15, 10, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:15, 10

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front Street, 249–2222 Bad Boys 2 - R - Fr, M-W (1, 4), 7, 9:55, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 9:55 Finding Nemo - G - Th only (2, 4:30), 7, 9:30 How To Deal - PG13 - Fr, M-W (2, 4:30), 7:30, 9:45, SaSu (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7:30, 9:45 Pirates of the Caribbean - PG13 - Th (1, 4), 7, 9:55, Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 10:10, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 10:10 Sinbad - PG - Th only (2:15, 4:45), 7:15, 9:30

$7* ™ GRE AT FI

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* with MFF passport (5 films - $35) • $10 - single tickets Phone: 572-3456 • www.mauifilmfestival.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 17, 2003

41


Film 40-41 • A & E 42 • This Week’s Picks 43 • The Grid 48-50 • Da Kine Calendar 44, 46-47

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SOPHIA FARIDI

Hawaii’s Fruit of Kings 9th Annual Maui Pineapple Festival As a city girl from Chicago, I have often found myself struggling to relate to some of the ways and customs here in Maui. But this at least I do understand. Like any longstanding tradition, there’s something amazing in cherishing the things that have shaped the culture and lives of a community for so long. For those of us who still have a thing or two to learn about what’s held sacred in Hawaii, here’s good starting point. If there’s one emblem that represents the economic, social and cultural struggles of this land, it’s the pineapple, second only to sugar cane. This fruit has been an important fixture in Maui’s economy, its history and likely its future. The pineapple, otherwise known as the fruit of kings, has become a staple in Hawaiian culture and to the tourists that travel here. It takes at least a year and a half to fully grow just one of these fruits enjoyed throughout the world. It’s royal implications came about in the 1600s when pineapples were still very rare in Europe. It became such an uncommon and coveted commodity that only royalty like King Charles II had the pleasure of enjoying the sumptuous fruit. But centuries later, it would be the Americas and a man named James Drummond Dole that would make the pineapple more than just a delicacy. In 1898, Hawaii was officially made a part of the United States. Two years later, in 1900, Dole went to Hawaii with a $1000 and a dream of growing and canning pineapples and started the Hawaiian Pineapple Company. Today Maui remains the home of the largest

plantations providing pineapples throughout the world. So to honor this local symbol, the 9th Annual Maui Pineapple Festival will be celebrated this Saturday and Sunday, July 19-20, at Queen Ka’ahumanu Center in Kahului. The event will be highlighting the impact the pine has had on Maui and its people. It will feature a variety of fun and entertaining ways to celebrate the sweet sensation for both children and adults. Kids can compete for prizes in the Keiki Pineapple Olympics where no one will go away empty handed. Gift certificate and merchandise will go to some of the lucky winners. Brenton Keith, the well-known magician will be making several appearances, as well as Una the Magical Clown. Kids can also get their faces painted, have a hand at making some pineapple crafts or test the waters at the pineapple fishing pool. Certain to be one of the biggest attractions for both children and adults is the Pineapple Eating Contest where contestants will gorge on some of the island’s juiciest and sloppiest pineapple slices. Or if you’re not in the mood to consume mass quantities, you can please your palate with samples of fresh pineapple chunks and juice courtesy of the Maui Pineapple Co.,

Singing Lessons

TheArtofSinging

Ltd. Local restaurateurs will have available their delectable pineapple specialties. And for those true pineapple aficionados, there will even be some cooking demonstrations held in the Queen’s Market Food Court. The Pineapple Museum will have on display the history of the pineapple told through black and white photos and old newspaper clippings from the Maui Pineapple Co., Ltd. archives near Centercourt. Color copies of the old-fashioned pineapple can labels will be available for purchase. If that’s still not enough, several retailers will be selling everything from clothes to fruit to homemade jams. Pick up a recipe booklet to bring home some of the tastes of previous pineapple desert cooking contests. Be sure to stop by Saturday at 1 p.m. for “A Taste of Pine”, a bake sale featuring some of Maui’s best pastry chefs to benefit The Friends of the Children’s Justice Center. And, of course, no celebration would be complete without some live entertainment. Many of Maui’s premier talents will be performing throughout the festival including The Three Sisters and ‘Ahahui Ka’ahumanu with Laoho. I might not yet be all that well versed in the ways of Maui, but I think I could really get used to this place. With the flavors of paradise so easily at hand, how could I not? MTW

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Mahalo Maui For Your Support and Aloha!

Haile Birthday Binghi Saturday, 9:45 p.m. at Casanova in Makawao [MUSIC] Get ready to bring your dancing feet to the third annual Haile Selassie Birthday Celebration featuring live reggae music by Marty Dread and the Kryptones, along with Hawaiian HomeBoy, Teomon, Jazzmin and Lanika. DJ Boomshot will also be spinning Selassie Selections in this Rastafarian all-star tribute to the King of Kings, His Imperial Majesty Emperor Haile Selassie I of Ethiopia, whose birthday is on July 23. And then catch the continuing irie vibrations with Roots Foundation Reggae-Dancehall Bashment Party, featuring DJ Boomshot on Sunday at Life’s A Beach.

this

week’s picks by Sam Campos

Brews’ Bye-Bye Brings Rebirth

Over A Quarter Century of Great Fish, Steak, & Grog

*Westside entertainment update* [MUSIC] It’s good to see that with the demise of Lahaina’s late-night venue Maui Brews, other bar/restaurants are slowly picking up the slack. Compadre’s, once home to several packed-house evenings of live music and even Raves (remember those?), has signed on a DJ (Kama) for Wednesday night. And the Hard Rock Café, happily increasing their weekly lineup, is taking on the hugely popular Marty Dread Mondays, along with DJ Jammin’ J on Wednesdays. Also, the Cool Cat Café is starting up their after-dinner, live music schedule with the Opti-Mystics on Friday. Now we anxiously await the opening of the Paradise Bluz on Front Street and we’re on our way. Didn’t Moose McGillycuddy’s have live music late night once also? Hmm. Hey, folks, it’s a start. Let’s kick this scene into gear, shall we?!

Yo-Yo Listen Up Friday, 6 p.m. at Maui Mall and Sunday, 2:30 p.m. at Lahaina Cannery Mall [SPORTS] It’s great to see a sport that has a level playing field for anyone interested in giving it a go. Whether you’re big or small, male or female, have a bum knee or are in peak physical condition, everyone can appreciate the fun and entertainment of a good yo-yo session. I grew up with a yo-yo cutting off the circulation of my middle finger but never got very good at it. No athletic prowess. Head down to watch 1999 World Champion and National Master Player (that’s a real title) Jennifer Baybrook do more than walk the dog. You can bring your yo-yo along and have a day full of fun doing everything from participating in competition to learning yo-yo maintenance. Best of all it’s free. They will be testing for performance enhancing drugs so leave the steroids at home. [IAN HOUSTON]

LUNCH 11:00AM - 3:00PM • DINNER 5:00-10:30PM HAWAIIAN MUSIC NIGHTLY 845 FRONT STREET • OLD LAHAINA TOWN • 661-4811

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DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS ‘Aha Hula 2003 - Saturday. An evening of hula, oli and Hawaiian music. In honor of Hokulani Holt-Padilla and her philosphies of aloha akua, aloha 'ohana and aloha 'aina. Featuring the musical talents of the Brown 'Ohana, Kainani Kahaunaele, Martin Pahinui, Cody Pueo Pata and others. Tickets: $20. Preshow at 5:30 p.m with hula, Hawaiian music and food. Show starts at 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

TICKETS ON SALE Spirit in the Body with Raphael & Kutira - July

25. A mystical, romantic ritual benefit concert with spiritual and shamanic music from many cultures with the Unity World Music Choir, Debra Lynn, Jerry Eiting, Curt Lee, Tenzin, Tendawa and shaman drummers and dancers. Tickets: $25-$35. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Pieces XXI - July 31 and Aug. 2-3. Maui Academy of Performing Arts presents its premier dance concert, Pieces XXI: Musicals, Movies & More. MAPA’s talented young dancers offer a lively showcase of ballet, tap, jazz and hip-hop that the whole family will enjoy. Tickets: $15, $12 for kids 12 and under. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Peter Pan - Aug. 1-3. Maui Academy of Performing Arts presents the magical musical featuring Maui’s young talent who will transport the audience to Never Never Land to visit Peter Pan, Captain Hook, Wendy, John, Michael, the Lost Boys and Tiger Lily. Tickets: $14, $11 for kids 12 and under. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Keola Beamer - Aug. 2. Keola Beamer is one of Hawai‘i's premier singer/songwriters, arrangers, composers and slack key guitarists. Each performance combines the elements of mele (song), oli (chant) and hula with native instruments and Hawaiian folklore. Tickets: $25 in advance. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. New Found Glory - Aug. 14. All ages welcome. Tickets: $20. 7 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, charge by phone: 1 (877) 750-4400.

EVENTS

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Coral Reef Information Station - Free reef info at Ulua Beach in Wailea on Tuesdays, Wednesdays and Thursdays, and at Kahekili Park (Airport Beach) in Kaanapali on Fridays, Saturdays and Mondays; all from 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Take part in a FREE guided reef tour led by experienced naturalist at 9 a.m. at Ulua and 10 a.m. at Kahekili. Bring snorkel equipment. 249-8811.

FRIDAY, JULY 18

World Yo-yo Champion Performs - 6 p.m. at the Maui Mall Center Stage. Contest and workshop following demonstration. For more info, call 665-0632.

SATURDAY, JULY 19

Litter Bugs Me Cleanup - 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Community Work Day Program volunteer cleanup island-wide. For info, call 877-2524. Pineapple Festival - 10 a.m.-4 p.m. at Queen Kaahumanu Center. Enjoy, sample or buy a variety of locally grown and created products from a selection of more than a dozen island vendors. Call 270-7710. Waena Boyz - 2 p.m. at Borders in Kahului. Popular Maui band that has taken the well established sounds of reggae, added their own special hip-hop and aloha flavor, creating a powerful blend of sensational island reggae. For info, call 877-6160. MHA’s 10th Annual Summer Magic Dinner Fundraiser - 6 p.m. at The Dunes at Maui Lani Golf Course. This Mental Health Association (MHA) event features entertainment by the Dixieland Jazz Band, comedian Jim Rouse and dinner music by Judd Cunningham and Tony Krieg. For info, call 242-6461.

SUNDAY, JULY 20

World Yo-yo Champion Performs - 2:30 p.m. on the Lahaina Cannery Mall’s Center Stage. Contest and workshop following demo. For info, call 665-0632.

WEDNESDAY, JULY 23

Jazz Festival All-Stars Perform - 7 p.m. at Lahaina Cannery Mall. Prelude to opening of the 10th Annual Jazz Fest. For more info, call 661-5304.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Benny Uyetake, Mon; Maurice Bega, Tue. All sets from 810:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Cafe O’Lei - Roscoe Wright and his band, Fri and Sat; contemporary island duo, Tue and Wed. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Cool Cat Cafe - Trevor Jones, Thu, Sat, Tue, 2:30 p.m.; Evan Schulman, Thu and Tue, 6:30 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu and Fri; Kawiko Lum Ho, Sat; Ernest Pua’a, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Wed. All sets from 6:30-9:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474. Hula Grill - Ernest Pua’a and Brian Kaui Haia, Thu; Ernest Pua’a, Kawika Lum Ho and Brian Haia, Fri; Maurice Bega, Da Ukulele Boys, Sat; Kawika Lum Ho, Da Ukulele Boys, Sun; Kawika Lum Ho, Albert Kaina and Brian Kaui Haia, Mon; Jarret Roback, Don Kaulia and Albert Kaina, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Brian Kaui Haia and Roy Kato, Wed. Live music is from 3-5 p.m. and 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music with Tracey and Farzad, Wed and Fri, 6:30-9 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787. Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399. Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; classic rock with JD and Mario, Fri, 3-6 p.m.; Anastasia Gilliam and friends, Sat, 3:30-6 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m.; Jarret Roback, Wed, 4-6 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s - Damien Awai, Sat, 7 p.m.; Jonah Livin, Sun, 7 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurante -

Pianist Rene Alonzo & Friends play light rock, country and blues during happy hour on Thursdays from 3-6 p.m. and Saturdays from 6-9 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666. Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Hawaiian style), Thu; Greg DiPiazza (classic rock ‘n’ roll), Fri; Ed Truthan (versatile contemporary rock ‘n’ roll), Sat; Erik Pietsch (if you like Jimmy Buffet, you will love Erik), Mon; Ricardo Dioso (flamenco guitar), Tue; Rene Alonzo (New Orleans style piano), Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Cody Gillette, Wed; Joel Gold, Thu; Mark Johnson, Fri. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477. Sea House Restaurant – Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincaid Basques, Wed, 7:30-9:30 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500. Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thu; Patrick Major, Fri and Tue; Greg diPiazza, Sat; Cryin’ Out Loud, Sun; Eric Pietsch, Mon; Armadillo, Wed. All sets from 69 p.m. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4044.

SOUTH MAUI

Bada Bing - Rat Pack Piano Bar with Mat Cain, Thu, Fri and Sat, 6:30-9 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188. Capische? – Joyce and Gord, Wed and Thu; Esther Godinez (vocals) Salvador Godinez (piano) and Ed Connors (bass) perform a mix of standards, bossa nova and original music, Fri and Sat, 7-10 p.m. Call ahead for details. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 8792224. KKO Kai Ku Ono – Lono, Thu thru Sat; Kawika, Sun; Howard Ahia, Mon; Kenny Roberts, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 875-1007. LuLu’s - Patrick Major, Thu, 4-7 p.m. 1945-H S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206. Marco’s Southside Grill – Mark Johnston (piano), Wed thru Sun; Brian Cuomo (piano), Mon and Tue. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. Margarita’s Beach Cantina – Cool Steel, Fri, 5-7


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DA KINECALENDAR p.m. 101 S. Kihei Rd., 879-5311. Mulligan’s on the Blue – Celtic Tigers, Thu and Sun, 7-10 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 69 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Thu, Fri and Wed; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Patrick Major, Sun; steel drums and sax w/ Brian Wittman, Mon and Tue. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI

Mañana Garage – Neto & Friends, Thu and Fri, 6:30 p.m.; Fortunato’s Magic, Fri, 7 p.m.; Neto & Hot Salsa, Sat; Neto Peraza, Tue; Bobby & Tula, Wed, 6:30 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220. Ramon’s - Gypsy Pacific, Wed, 7-9 p.m. 2102 Vineyard, Wailuku, 986-8550.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Jacque’s - The Tom Cherry Express, Sat, 8 p.m.; Greg DiPiazza & Tato Duo, Mon, 7-10:30 p.m. 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844. Livewire Cafe - John Moore Band, Sat, 7-10 p.m.; live jazz, Thu, 7-10 p.m.; acoustic guitar with Molten Soul, Tue, 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 5796009. Moana Cafe - Jazz w/ Eve Moffatt, Fri, 6:30-9:30 p.m.;

gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, Sun, 6-9 p.m.; vintage Hawaiian music, Wed, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Ed Truthan w/ contemporary classics, Thu; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Ed & Ron, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon; Scott Baird & Friends w/ contemporary music, Tue; Howard Ahia w/ Hawaiian music, Wed. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. Hyatt Regency Maui 200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234 “Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding” Mon, Wed, Fri and Sun, 6:30 p.m. in the Swan Court. Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:30-9:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thu, Sun and Mon; Pam Gamboa Peterson, Tue, 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Larry Gollis, Fri and Sat; Stephanie Anderson, Wed; "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly. Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Black Rock Illusions dinner show Sun, Tue and

Maui’s Largest Selection of Musical Instruments & Sound Systems for 23 years

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BUY ONE GET ONE FREE ALL GIBSON GUITARS 30%-40% OFF ALL GIBSON AMPLIFIERS 40% OFF ALL EPIPHONE GUITARS 35% OFF ALL CYMBALS & DRUM HEADS 30% OFF ALL SAMSON MICROPHONES & MIXERS 40% OFF $ 99 FENDER BULLET ELECTRIC GUITAR sale 99 $ 00 FENDER SQMC-1 STUDENT SIZE GUITAR sale 99

Thu at 5:30 p.m. in the Kanahele Room; Ka’anapali Serenaders, Sat, 6-9:30 p.m.; free hula show 6:307:30 nightly; Auntie Aloha’s Breakfast Luau, Mon thru Fri, 8:15 a.m.; Paniolo Barbecue w/ live music and dancing, Mon, 6 p.m.; Sunday champagne brunch w/ Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Kapalua Bay Hotel / Kapalua Bay Hotel, A Luxury Collection Resort 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist Sun thru Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: hula performances 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30 nightly. Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Sea House Restaurant: Kincaid Basques, Sun thru Tue; Albert Kaina, Wed; Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Napili Kai Foundation Polynesian Dinner Show, Fri, 6 p.m.; Kincaid Basques, Sat. All shows from 7-9 p.m. unless otherwise noted. Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Reiko, solo guitar and vocals, beginning at 5:30 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: world fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri thru Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m. Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/ Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian songs and dances at 5 nightly. Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/ hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly. The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Tropica: Bobby Ingram Trio, Sat, Sun and Wed; JD Band, Tue; Keoki Kahumoku, Mon. All sets 7-9 p.m.; Fortunato’s magic, Thu, Sat and Tue, 6:30-8:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI

Four Seasons Resort Wailea

3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/ Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/ hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly. Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/ hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Jamie Lawrence, Tue thru Sat; solo guitarist Sun and Mon, 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon thru Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI

Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

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DA KINECALENDAR POLITICAL Public Meeting to Disucss Lead & Copper Rule for Drinking Water Systems - Thu, 7:30 p.m. in the Eddie Tam Memorial Center Social Hall. For info, call Jacky Takakura at 270-8046. Maui Talks TV - Tue, 7 p.m., Channel 53. A live, onehour public affairs talk show, where the community is invited and encouraged to telephone in to the show at 873-3430 and comment on various issues of the day.

LECTURES

Cooking Class -- "Chicken Delights" - Thu, 6 p.m. at Maui Electric Auditorium, 210 Kamehameha Ave., Kahului. Free. For info, call Ruth at 871-2323. Kilo Hoku (Star Watching) - Fri, 7:30 p.m. at the Hosmer Grove Shelter, Haleakala Nat’l Park. Special series of stargazing and star lore, this week featuring “Agricultural & Navigational Calendar”. For info, call 572-4400. "Safe Travel" -- Sat, 9:30-11 a.m. at the Kaiser Permanente Wailuku Clinic. Free presentation on safe travel abroad. For info, call 270-7308.

Coconut Palm Frond Weaving Class - Sat, 11 a.m. at the Lahaina Library. Free. Age 5 to adults.

ART

Ho`omeheu - Through July 27 in the Schaefer Gallery of the Maui Arts & Cultural Center. The collaborative efforts of Kupuna Leslie Kuloloio and master printmaker and Native American art historian Carolynne Whitefeather have created a combination of contemporary Maui expressions. Through creative writings and visual imagery, this collection explores long-held meanings within cultural expressions, historical facts and personal perceptions. For info, call 242-2787. “Art in the Village” - Thu, 6-10 p.m. at Whalers Village in Kaanapali. Artist demonstrations, live Hawaiian and jazz music, hula and Tahitian dance, prizes contributed by each of the galleries and complimentary champagne and pupus. Call 661-4567. Weekly Gathering of Maui's Top Artists - Thu, 8:30 a.m. on the grounds of Keolahou Hawaiian Church in North Kihei. Call Michael Stark at 879-9337. Friday Night is Art Night in Lahaina - 7-10 p.m. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town for special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and

refreshments, all free and open to the public. Call Theo Morrison at 667-9194. Joelle C Gallery Grand Opening - Sat, 6:30-9 p.m. at 505 Front St., Lahaina. New works in various media by painter Joelle Chicheportiche-Perz. For more info, call 662-0799. He U`i Cultural Arts Festival - Sat and Sun, 9 a.m.- 5 p.m. under the Banyan Tree in Lahaina Town. A gathering of Hawaiian artists and crafters display, sell and demonstrate cultural arts and crafts. Live Hawaiian music is featured and community members give talks on their culture. For info, call 667-9194. WOW! Wailea on Wednesdays - 6:30-9:30 p.m. The Shops at Wailea celebrates "Festival of the Arts" featuring artists and artwork displays, live entertainment, fashion events and more. On Sunday, Kristine Snyder performing harp in the East Wing from 5:308:30 p.m. On Wednesday, Phil Benoit and the Benoit Jazz Works in the Lower Courtyard from 7-9 p.m. For more info, call 891-6770.

keiki korner

"Do The Zoo" Days - Sat,12-2 p.m. at 2315 Kekaulike Ave. in Kula. Zoo Maui is a fun, educational, hands-on experience. Non-profit, operated by volunteers. See Squirt the Giraffe, and his 100+ friends. $5 per person, 12 months or younger, free. Closed shoes are required. For info, call Malia at 878-2189. Seaside Stories - Sun,11 a.m. at Borders Books & Music in Kahului. Free program for ages 4-10 featuring stories and crafts with the staff of Pacific Whale Foundation. For information, call 249-8811. Keiki Song & Storytime - Wed, 10:30 a.m. at Borders in Kahului with Uncle Wayne. For more info, call 877-6160.

SPORTS

Maui Raceway Park - Fri and Sat, 4:30 p.m. in Central Maui. For info, call Aimee at 281-1273.

THURSDAY, JUly 17

Waikamoi Hike - 9 a.m. at Hosmer Grove Shelter (6800 ft.) at Haleakala National Park Summit Area. Three-hour, three-mile hike. For info, call 572-4400.

FRiDAY, JUly 18

(9740 ft.) at Haleakala National Park Summit Area. Two-hour, two-mile hike. For more info, call 572-4400.

SATURDAY, JUly 19

'Iao Valley 10K Fun Run - 7 a.m., Wailuku Public Parking Lot. For more info, call Bob Beck at 242-1553. Amateur Boxing Show - 3 p.m. at the basketball court at the Kihei Youth Center. First fight at 4 p.m. The boxing show is a fundraiser for Kihei Youth Center programs. For more info, call 879-0007. Relay For Life - 7 p.m. in Lahaina. American Cancer Society overnight event designed to celebrate survivorship and remember those lost to cancer. At the event, relay teams set up camp, enjoy local entertainment, play games, picnic, nap and catch up with old friends. Each team has a representative on the track during the event. For info, call Teresa at 244-5553.

SUnDAY, July 20

6th Annual Paradise Bike Ride - 6 a.m. Fourisland, six-day charity bike ride to raise funds to benefit three Hawaiian AIDS organizations. For more info, call Paul Tonnessen at 242-4900 ext 115. Thunder in the Tropics 2 Boxing Show - 4:30 p.m. at the Maui Myth & Magic Theatre in Lahaina. Billy Preston will appear in concert after the boxing show. Doors open at 3 p.m. Concert begins at 8:30 p.m. For more info, call 879-0007.

MonDAY, July 21

Waikamoi Hike - 9 a.m. at Hosmer Grove Shelter (6800 ft.) at Haleakala National Park Summit Area. Three-hour, three-mile hike. For info, call 572-4400.

TuesDAY, July 22

Sliding Sands Hike - 9 a.m., Sliding Sands Trailhead (9740 ft.) at Haleakala National Park Summit Area. Two-hour, two-mile hike. For more info, call 572-4400.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

Sliding Sands Hike - 9 a.m., Sliding Sands Trailhead

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BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

thursday7/17

friday7/18

saturday7/19

sunday7/20

Funk, Soul & Disco w/DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza & Angie Carr, Latin Night, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Island music, No cover, 10pm

CLOSED

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO

monday7/21 – wednesday7/23 Mon - Mark Johnston & Guest, Jazz Night; Tue - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata, Jam Night; Wed - Soul Concepts, R&B: ALL SHOWS- 10PM, NO COVER CHARGE!

D.U.H., No cover, 10pm

889 Front Street, Lahaina - 661-3111

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

Marty Dread & The Kryptones DJ Rodrigo, Latin pop, $5, 9:30pm The Beat Lounge, DJ Boomshot, Funk/Hiphop/Dancehall, $5, 9:45pm and more!, Reggae, $10, 9:45pm

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm12:30am

Hot Apple Pie, No cover, 8-11pm

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

Wed - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Wed - DJ Kama, $3, 10pm

The Opti-Mystics, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

COOL CAT CAFÉ

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina - 667-0908

Beach Party w/DJs Rich, Ed V, Forrest, No cover

DEANO’S MAUI PIZZA CAFÉ 2439 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2200

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Live Music w/Koa ‘Uka

Hurley/Coors Light Party

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Flava Zone

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Mon - Uncle Willie K, 10pm; Tue - Club Nouveau; Wed - Aloha Wednesday, w/DJ Blast

Teen Night, 6:30pm

Mon - Marty Dread, $5, 10:30pm; Wed - DJ Jammin J, $3, 10pm

Vince Esquire, $5, 10:30pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Danny Estocado, No cover, 9pm

Da Hawaiians, N/C, 5-7pm MGD Band, N/C, 9p-12am

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm-12am

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Da Hawaiians, No cover, 10pm

Kenny Roberts, No cover, 57pm

El Nino, No cover, 5pm

John Moore Project, No cover, 9:30pm

Kuhui, No cover, 9:30pm

Funky Munky, No cover, 9:30pm

Cry’en Out Loud, No cover, 10pm-midnight

Voodoo Suns, 10pm-midnight

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Gina Martinelli Band, N/C, 6pm Mon-Wed - Da Hawaiians, No cover Karaoke, w/James, No cover, 9:30pm

Mon - Karaoke, w/James, No cover, 9:30pm; Tue - Open Mic Night, w/Vaughn Razo, No cover, 8pm; Wed - Karaoke, w/James, No cover, 9:30pm

Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, No cover, 9:30pm No cover, 9:30pm

Mike & Dave Carroll, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

LAHAINA COOLERS

Information not available

180 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661-7082

a n n Wa e? Danc

IN

H EART

THE

OF

O LDE M AKAWAO T OWN

Wild Wahine Wednesday

C ASANOVAT’ SE F AMOUS L ADIES N IGHT D ISCO ! T E C T A HE

VENING

HAT

ARNED

ASANOVA

HE

WARD

“B EST L ATE N IGHT I N M AUI ” MUSIC STARTS @ 9:45PM • $5 COVER

h

7t 1 y Jul , OTINO . s G R I U R h T O D ITMO LA ER

R OV DBJA YRSALSSA@ 9Y:45PM • $5 C

SAM

CS MUSI

TART

th

y 18 O T l u J E H , FRI. O O M S U N G L O NCE HARL D J BE A T L COVE & DA

B IP HOP 5PM • $5 E H T K & H TS @ 9:4 FUN SIC STAR

MU

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19F KINGS ON y l O u TI ,j ING BRA NETS SAUTTE. TO ITRHTEHKDAY CELKE RYPTOO O MSH IB ’B BO E & H A TR ELASSIE A T LE’S D Z&MIN & LAN•IK$10 COVER HAI A E R TYEODMON & JATZS @ 9:45PM R A M &T AR HHB

MUSI

C ST

Make it a Memorable Evening • Dine and Dance at Casanova For reservations and information, call 572–0220 • Log on! casanovamaui.com 48

JULY 17, 2003

DA KINE CALENDAR


thursday7/17

friday7/18

saturday7/19

sunday7/20

LIFE’S A BEACH

Vince Esquire & Crossfire

Voodoo Suns

fine line, Reggae

Roots Foundation, Reggae

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:3011:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 877-2036 LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, Mon - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; Wed - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:308:30-11:30pm 11:30pm

Bobby Ingram, No cover, 8pm

The Crunch Pups, 8-11pm

Stroking Saturday, Hawaiian contemporary, $5 donation, 8pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm-close

Damien Awai & Friends, No cover, 7:30-10pm

Information not available

Kenny Roberts, No cover, 9pm Murray Thorne, No cover, 9pm

Wed - Karaoke w/Toby, No cover, 8:30pm Jonah Livin, No cover, 7:30-9pm Mon - DJ Tark, No cover, 9pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac/Dollar Night, $5, 9pm;

Wed - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Friday

Saturday

Trevor $3 Jones Mai Tai’s 6:30PM

Fabulous ’50s Dining Happy Hour Everyday Live Music

Evan Schulman

2

$

In the Wharf Cinema Center

667-0908

MARGARITAS ALL DAY LONG

BEST ON THE ISLAND!

Thursday

THE VOCAL STUDIO

HAPPY Trevor DRINK HOUR Jones SPECIALS EVERYDAY LIVE ALL NIGHT! MUSIC $

THE OPTI-MYSTICS

1

KAMI’S PURPLE HOOTERS

3-6PM & 10PM-MID

$2 DOMESTIC $2.50 WELL

mail@lo-boy.com

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

: LIVE MUSIC ; LATE NIGHT

First Saturday of Every Month

©Artist Development

10pm-1am • Kapalua Location Only

Do you want a record deal? Need to license a popular song? MTV/VH1 hot new artist clientele. Let us help Develop & Publish your songs, or Record & Produce your CD in our Studios Affordably!

50% OFF ALL FOOD Must be 21 & Over with I.D.

Kapalua 669-6286 • Kihei 879-0004

Call 808 573-4170 SURF

Wednesday

2:30PM

8:30-11:30PM

www.whatavoice.com Does your voice have the Power, endurance, flexibility and technique you want? Does your voice ever get hoarse, tired or hurt? Do you have stage fright? Want better stage presence? Want to keep the great voice you already have? Sing with the Style, Power Clarity you knew you could have! Or…take the next step toward becoming the success you can be with our AAA/World Class

FILM FESTIVAL

Mon - Mark Burnett, No cover, 6pm; Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 9pm; Tue - Music Club, w/Wayne Dunn, No cover, 9pm; Wed - John Moore Project, No cover, 9pm

Celtic Tigers, No cover, 7pm Merv Oana, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Salsa band, $5, 9pm

2:30PM

NEWS

Mon - Lake Hosts Open Mic; Tue - Dominic & Mario; Wed - Crunch Pups

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm Jam’n Steel Band, $5, 9:30pm

Tuesday & Thursday

LETTERS

monday7/21 – wednesday7/23

DINING

The Shops at Kapalua

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Near Foodland

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 17, 2003

49


thursday7/17

friday7/18

saturday7/19

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Information not available

Information not available

Information not available

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am

El Niño, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends, No cover, 9pm

The Edge, No cover, 9pm

Twangers, No cover, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

sunday7/20

monday7/21 – wednesday7/23

PANCHO & LEFTY’S

658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4666

2102 Vineyard, Wailuku - 986-8550

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004 SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

Information not available

Information not available

Wed - Harris Moku, No cover, 9pm

MAKAWAO HAIKU HONOKOWAI WAILEA ISLAND-WIDE LAHAINA

Custom Tattoos

KIHEIPAIA WAILUKU

Pain Free

10-10 Tues-Sat, 10-6 Mon, Closed Sun

www.atomictattoomaui.com

ISLAND-WIDE EVERY WEEK!

193 Lahainaluna, Lahaina • 667-2156

FOR ADVERTISING INFORMATION CALL 661-3786

on the blue MAUI’S ONLY IRISH PUB

Free Salsa Lessons! S AT

9th J U LY p1m 0 1

Neto Peraza Band NO COVER BEFORE 9PM OR WITH DINNER

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

y onl ! d u i ’s Ma h Ban Ir is

Celtic Tigers

Followed by Maui’s Own Merv Oana 10pm NO COVER

MONDAY

WLYE2D 3r d

JU

9pm

SUN

J U LY 2 0 7pm th

VINCE ESQUIRE

GYPSY PACIFIC 9PM • NO COVER “2003 Battle of the Bands Winner”

John Moore Project

HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY 5 - 7PM 2 for 1 all pupus • $1 off all drinks 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea. 1ST left after Kea Lani Hotel • 874–1131

HAPPY HOUR!

3-6pm Sun.-Fri. • 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

50

JULY 17, 2003

$5 COVER

SATURDAY, JULY 19TH

DA KINE CALENDAR

ISLAND-WIDE

RAMON’S

FREE KAANAPALI


ADVICEGODDESS KOZMICBREEZE BY KOZMIC KEV

BY AMY ALKON

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

EVERY MONDAY

$5 COVER

MARTY DREAD MONDAYS

HAPPY HOUR!

3-6pm Sun.-Fri. • 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS h a r d r o c k . c o m

ALL! AVE IT WE’LL H

CHRIST“MOOSE” IN JULY FOR THOSE WHO CAN’T SPEND CHRISTMAS ON MAUI, HERE’S YOUR PARTY IN JULY!

Thursday, July 24th HOLIDAY DRINK SPECIALS! Santa’s Hawaiian Punch Candy Cane Schnapps Peppermint Patty Prancer’s Midori Daquiri

Come sit on Santa’s Lap!

LETTERS

NEWS

FILM FESTIVAL

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

MY SO-SO LIFE

ARIES: The end of an emotional roller coast-

I've had the same boyfriend for six years. He claims he loves me, but refuses to get married. How is this possible? He is sweet, but we have very little (if any) sex. The last time was three months ago. It's been like that since year two of the relationship. I'm also paying for more than half of everything. Do you think he's just using me? Under-satisfied Despite valiant efforts by those who make commercials showing bonfires coming out of people's toes, nobody cares if you have athlete's foot. That's probably because it's called "athlete's foot," not "deadly athlete's foot." Sadly, the standard for concern about a medical condition has always been danger of becoming clinically dead, not merely irritated to death. It's why people sprint across restaurants to bear-hug chicken bones out of choking victims, but never to tear the ugly off a fashion victim (any girl wearing cargo pants and stiletto heels). If only the relationship world weren't plagued by medical world prejudices. Unless one's romantic situation seems likely to cause convulsions or death, it's considered bad form to run away screaming. Thankfully, your boyfriend isn't chasing you around the living room with an ax. Then again, he isn't chasing you around the bedroom with flavored, scented massage oil, either. And while it's great that you aren't a victim of domestic violence, shouldn't domestic violent boredom be cause for alarm? You aren't alarmed because you've got your head full pondering why a guy who won't have sex with you and won't pay his way won't marry you. Marry you? Hello? What is it about vague dissatisfaction that inspires you to try to make it permanent vague dissatisfaction? Your big worry is whether the grass looks less brown on the other side (i.e., is he just using you?). What really matters isn't his motivation for sticking around, but your own. There's no mention anywhere in or near your letter about "boundless happiness" or anything even remotely Hallmark-cardy in tone. Okay, so the guy's "sweet." Wouldn't you be, too, if somebody else were paying most of the bills? What you share with him is like flesh-eating bacteria, but with an extremely slow digestive process: the life-eating relationship. Days come, days go. More days come, more days go. On a positive note, you're not dead yet. Clinically speaking. Plus, you probably still have your left arm where your left arm used to be. Oh, joy. If you were new boyfriend-shopping today, would you look for one who offers you lack of sex, refusals to get married, and financial dependency? So, why are you still there? Because you've put in all this time, and you'd have to admit you've wasted it if you left now? (Why not waste more time instead?) Maybe you're afraid of being alone. Newsflash: You're alone now. It's just a crowded kind of alone. Until you do the other kind of alone, the one where you work on your relationship with yourself, you won't have a happy relationship with anybody else. Sure, it'll be terrifying, braving the big, hairy, green-fanged unknown. On a positive note, it shouldn't be anywhere near as frightening as the dull, joyless known.

er draws near. By Tuesday night you'll begin to work your creative mojo. The weekend is amplified by the random spunk of an Aries moon. It's a good time to start a new relationship or to challenge someone. TAURUS: Monday and Tuesday are highlighted with the moon in Taurus. Personal issues regarding your local environment will hit home. Your elders and your ancestral history may fascinate you. The weekend is good for dreaming. GEMINI: A very expansive state of mind allows you to write heartfelt poetry, to tell tall tales, and to move around like a bumblebee collecting pollen from many flowers. Do things for love rather than the love of money. CANCER: You give the world a sense of stability these days. You're ready for adventure, yet you're keeping at least one foot on the ground. Any day is a good day for getting in the water. Romances may take a turn towards the serious side. LEO: Dreams end as you begin to wake up. Leo season begins on the evening of the 22nd at 8:04 PM Maui time. Get ready to rage and roar. Your power switch gets turned on. The weekend has you in a fortunate position. Greet the day with generous love. VIRGO: This could be your best chance for making friendly social contacts. Smile a lot and at least look like you're having a good time. You have freedom within limits. It's a good time to pay a visit to someone that's shut-in in a hospital, rest home, or prison. LIBRA: I see you pushing yourself at work to get things done. After this weekend, things should mellow out. Be ready to play. Social invitations keep on coming. Pace yourself. Save room for fun. Challenges may help you get ready for your next promotion. SCORPIO: Experience can be a tough teacher. Scorpios can be tough students. Get your resumes updated. Opportunities for career advancement will begin next week. Enjoy new and exotic experiences. There's no reason for you to be deprived. SAGITTARIUS: Metaphysical and erotic transformation will lead to some sort of unusual serendipity. Keep your household free of any potential hazards. Being graceful will take some work. You'll need a klutz-friendly environment. CAPRICORN: It's good to see you like this. Somehow you've maintained harmony in spite of having a hard row to hoe. Deepening your relationships while being open to change is your next assignment. Pay off old debts and allow others to give to you. AQUARIUS: Physical difficulties will no longer dominate your mindscape. You're getting ready for some good loving. Your diplomatic abilities are improving. Romances at work could begin to spark. Get together with close friends this weekend. PISCES: Continue with your constructive actions. You're building on art and creative expressions. Some of our darkest days give us the best songs. Keep on exercising and eating right. Your work schedule is about to expand and you'll need good energy.

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 17, 2003

51


Shop where the dealers shop! Lowest Prices in town! Art, Jewelry, Surfboards, CDs, Musical CARS - DOMESTIC Hawaiiana, Instruments and MUCH MORE! West 86 Toyota Camry 4 Door Maui Gold 667-7689 Automatic, reliable, legal, clean, new tires, radiator, A/C, & alternator. $1800 WAVEBLADE ONE-MAN Call 650-303-6688 CANOE Carbon fiber, Fast, sell quick @ $1700 OBO. 280-3618

AUTOMOTIVE

EFFORTLESSAUTO “The lowest price on any new or used auto GUARANTEED!” www.effortlessauto.com

891-AUTO TRUCKS, MOTORCYCLES, RVS VINTAGE TRUCK ‘71 Dodge Pickup New V8 Engine Leaving Island! Best Offer by Sunday 870-6348

COMPUTER EQUIPMENT $$ SAVE ON LAPTOPS $$ Dell Latitude 650 MHZ/128/56K/10GB/CD-DVD/Win 98 Refurbished $749 & IBM Thinkpad 600E PENT. 2 366 MHZ/128/56K/DVD/CDRW(burner) combo WIN 98 Gd. Bat. $699 Epson Stylus Printer C-60 & extra ink $59. Call 243-0133

FURNITURE Big Bamboo Warehouse CONTAINER HAS ARRIVED COME EXPLORE! 400 Hana Hwy, Kahului Tues- Sat 10-4 877-4141

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES WEST SIDE WELDING Mufflers and Custom Exhaust. Customized Truck Racks. Lahaina Industrial. 661-5900 Finally in Lahaina!!! Full Service Motorcycle and Moped Repair. Great Service and Rates. Behind the Train Station in Lahaina. Spencer’s Cycles, 264-2545 REX AUTO MOBILE Specializing in Timing Belts & Brakes. Hondas, Acuras, Toyotas, Nissan, Lexus & Domestic Cars. Island-Wide Service, Affordable Rates, Professional Work Guaranteed. ASE Certified. 298-9111

The Learning Center of Maui  Reading  Algebra  Writing  Math  Study Skills

873-6217

http://wessel.ownanewbusiness.com

Call 986-1400 EMPLOYMENT Need regional or national recruitment exposure? Advertise your hard-to-fill positions in more than 100 newspapers just like this one and reach up to 15 million young, active, educated readers! Go to www.aancan.com or contact this newspaper for more info. $$ BARTEND $$ Up to $300/shift. Great pay, flexible hours. No experience necessary Call 800-806-0083 ext 203 CAREER POSITIONS. $11-$48/hr. Paid training. Full benefits. Available 7 days/week. Call American Data Group for info on current hiring positions 1-800-320-9353 ext. 2517. Teachers needed for year-round wilderness camps. Excellent salary/benefits. Must enjoy being outdoors and helping at-risk youth. State certification or certificate eligibility required. Information/apply on-line at www.eckerd.org. Mail resume to Selection Specialist/AN, Eckerd Youth Alternatives, P.O. Box 7450, Clearwater, FL 33765. EOE. MOVIE EXTRAS: $200-$600/day, all looks needed. No experience required. TV, Music Videos, film, print. Call Extras On Call @ 1-800-260-3949, ext. 3025. DATA ENTRY. Work from home. Flexible hours! Great pay! Computer required. 1-800382-4282 ext. #8.

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BE ON VH1!!! Have You Shared an Amazing Experience With a Rock Star, Rated X or PG? Email: vh1@cameraplanet.com or 1-800-668-9376 Ext. 252.

FREE INFO. Get 101 secrets for earning a six figure FREE 2-ROOM DIRECTV SYSTEM income and learn how to earn an instant including installation! 2 months FREE profit! Call Toll Free! 1-866-843-0713. PROGRAMMING. Access 225+ TV chanA $250K+ nels! Digital quality picture and sound. 1st Year Income Opportunity. Limited time offer. 1-800-877-1251. Home based and not MLM! The Perfect Gift Call 1-877-347-3745 * 24 hrs. 1000 X Handmade in Paradise!!! More Powerful than MLM! Maui Aprons.com Indoor Air & Water Pollution Is 875-0643 Bad Stuff! Help People “Ecologize” Their SURFBOARD FOR SALE Homes & Businesses 9’6” Maui Surfboards (Wayno) longInc. 500, 15 yr. Old Manufacture board. One-month old, like new. If you want to learn how to surf or just want Company Sales Managers average a bigger board, this is it. $375 OBO. $6000 per month after training. Offer America’s #1 Most Desired Air Bag available. Call 242-5009 Purifiers FREE 3-DAY TRIAL Few peo$$ TOP DOLLAR PAID $$ ple know about this amazing technolDiamonds, Gold, Colored Stones, ogy We Promise Not to Waste Your Watches & Other Valuables. West Time! Managers and Leaders Wanted Maui Gold. 667-7689 874-5676

JULY 17, 2003

Are you looking for a vehicle that can bring financial independence without leaving your full time job?

INDIVIDUALIZED 1:1 GUARANTEED SUCCESS 33 Lono St. #220, Kahului

BUY & SELL

52

Are You Tired of Just Getting By?

CLASSIFIED

Volunteers for Africa Teach Children/Adults educational /social skills. No Exper. Nec. Start August. Fees apply /Scholarships. elsemarie@humana.org www.humana.org. 1-413-441-5126.

HAIRDRESSER WANTED Looking to make more money? Be your own boss, booth rental. Call 249-2382 WARREN & ANNABELLE’S Maui’s most fun and amazing show is looking to add: PART TIME SERVER (Male & Female) FRONT DESK/RECEPTIONIST $8 starting w/ room to advance. Responsibilities include meet, greet, and check in of guests, money handling, general admin. & phone reservations. Must have great personality & neat appearance. Apply in person. Monday- Friday 9am- 4pm 900 Front St., Lahaina Bodyworkers Needed Looking for beautiful, playful, reliable, person. Work with a great team. Will train. 579-8825

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY is accepting applications for the following positions:

Kitchen Line Cooks, Host(ess), Waitstaff and Retail Sales Qualified applicants will have the following: An outgoing, fun personality, good references, a desire to work hard and have fun.

Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina, 2-4pm

CHERRY BOMB TATTOO Needs a Tattoo Artist, Piercer & Apprentices. F/T & P/T. Great Trained Bike Mechanic/Sales Location and Atmosphere/ High Wanted @ Extreme Sports Maui in Traffic. Call 891-BODY (2639) Kahului. Apply in person to 397 Dairy Rd, next to Kinko’s or call 871-7954, Rhonda PADI/SDI SCUBA INSTRUCTOR 5-Star Scuba needs instructors for resort locations. Call Luke 661-5112 evenings.

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S Is hiring experienced AM/PM Bartender, PM servers & P/T PM cook. No phone calls, apply in person @ 844 Front St. Lahaina TALENT WANTED For feature length film being shot here on Maui. Call Tony @ Condor productions 268-8472 Watersports Outlet We need P/T employees!! Must have knowledge of Hawaiian Islands & Ocean. Activity booking experience preferred. Weekends a must! Great $$ and benefits. Please call Michelle @ 875-0848. PARADISE SPICE Maui’s Adult Superstore is now accepting applications for an Office Assistant. Willing to train. Pay depends on qualifications. 1010 L. Main St., Wailuku NEED A JOB? We make connections. No Fee. EOE Call today. AEA 573-6675 ALOHA INTERNATIONAL EMPLOYMENT Temp/Perm/Leasing Employee Resume Service 310 Alamaha St. Kahului, HI 871-6373

HAIRDRESSER WANTED Looking to make more money? Be your ERIK’S SEAFOOD Experienced/ honest bus & wait staff own boss, booth rental. Call 249-2382 needed. Apply in person: M-F 3-6pm, ALL POSITIONS 843 Wainee St. Lahaina attn: Steve Shakalaka Fish ‘N Chips No calls please. Now in Lahaina 662-4449 WORK AT HOME Models Wanted Work at home business! for calendar magazine and artistic $500-$1500/ MO Part-Time print work. Ages 18 to 40. 573-3712 $200-$5000/MO Full Time. SUMMER WORK Great for Moms! SERIOUS work at 30 Positions to fill by 7/31 home opportunity! $14.00 base-appt. PAID WEEKLY Full Training and Support! Call Sue No experience needed Customer 878-2533 x213 service/sales Scholarships/Conditions apply Call 242-3002 Security Officers Wanted workforstudents.com/np Part Time/ On Call West-Side positions $10 HR 669-4931

ction Medical Personnel Caring, Capable, Responsive Your lifeline care with A`loha Action Med has clients that need you. We need RN’s, LPN’s, N.A.’s, Companions, Live Ins & Medical Office Assistant support staff.

Call today: 875-8300 Be part of the hotel that began the Legend of Ka’anapali! The Sheraton Maui Hotel has the following career opportunities.

FRONT OFFICE MANAGER: Responsible for front office operations. Two to four years experience in Front Office/Housekeeping/ Guest Services, including at least two years supervisory experience, required. FULL TIME SERVERS AM & PM, FULL TIME COCKTAIL SERVER: Friendly, hardworking, experienced servers immediately needed in our restaurants and poolside outlets. OTHER AVAILABLE POSITIONS: Housekeeper– Rooms, Utility Steward, Bushelp, Assistant Pantry, Room Service, Temporary Painters, Security Officers. EQUAL OPPORTUNITY EMPLOYER Qualified individuals may apply in person or send resume to: Sheraton Maui, Human Resources Dept., 2605 Ka’anapali Parkway, Lahaina, HI 96761 Fax: 808/662-8071

Insurance Sales LEADS! LEADS! LEADS!We provide endorsed/Benefit program leads 3rd party endorsed leads Advanced commissions Complete training/Mgmt. position avail. No prospecting/Toll Free 866-735-5796

Licensed

Real Estate Agents New or Experienced Integrity & Enthusiasm are more important than experience. We provide free training, a professional atmosphere, and management support. We hire character, we train skill. Two offices: Piilani Shopping Center in Kihei and Queen Kaahumanu Center in Kahului.

Call Rosie Poree-Hogin R(S) 879-1511

MAUI REAL ESTATE 879-1511 1-800-451-6759 a div. of SRH, Inc Each independently owned and operated

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

MUSIC & ARTS MUSICIANS WANTED FEMALE SINGER NEEDED “Put us out of our misery! We know you are out there - we seek an exp. female singer, rhythm electric guitarist to join our woman’s cover band. Chord Charts/Lyrics/Gigs avail. when ready crystalfudge@hotmail.com No flakes 879-8620”

MUSICAL INSTRUCTION LETS TANGO! With the Legendary Susana Miller. Tonight @ Hapas, 7:15. Also July 18 @ 7:15 @ Sol Luna Studio in Kahului. DONT MISS OUT!!!! 874-1451

MUSICIAN SERVICES AGETON PIANO SERVICES Tune & Repair Voice & Concert Prep 250-7478 BLUE PAPAYA PRODUCTIONS Digital Recording Studio/ Digital Remastering Graphic Design/Layout for CDs. Fair prices with musicians in mind. 250-2240 or segoinet001@hawaii.rr.com

MUSIC EQUIPMENT SPEAKERS FOR SALE JBL Performance Series G734 $200 Each 20” Sub/Mid/Horn G733 $250 2 Carvin 30” Sub $300 Call 667-6083

ARTS THE ART SCHOOL AT KAPALUA New Classes Starting Soon! www.kapaluaart.com 665-0007


VACATION RENTALS

NOTICES Oral/HIV Testing/Counseling Clinic- @ Pukalani Community Center Wednesdays 9-12pm; Paia Hawaiian Protestant Church Wednesdays 1-3:30pm; Wailuku Health Center Tuesdays 8-12pm & 14pm; Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center Thursdays 9am-12pm: Kihei Keolahou Congregational Church Mondays 11am-2pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call Takako 984-2129

Hana Maui Botanical GardensOn the way to Blue Pools. Self guided walking tour. Open 9-5 $3/person. 248-7725. Vacation Rental Available. Member Hawaii EcoTourism Assoc. www.ecoclub.com/hanamaui

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE

S. & W. MAUI CONDOS from

$119,000

W. & S. MAUI HOMES from

$375,000

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 • Lahaina

(808) 661-1800

LESS IS MORE! Cute Kihei Studio near beach park w/pool, hot tub, tennis & new carpet. Lanai w/ocean view. $129,000 FS

LISA CARPENTER, RS

808.276.4627 2463 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei

ROOMS FOR RENT Lahaina Accommodations Private room w/bath & TV 65 nt. Private room w/out bath 55 nt. Semi-Private $20 nt. Very clean, W/D, Parking, Kitchen www.hawaiian-hostels.com 667-0999

CALL ROB AT

661-3786 LETTERS

NEWS

Maui Mac Medic Apple Mac, Set-up & Instruction Repairs, System Upgrades, Software Used Macs/Clones, $100 + www.mauimacmedic.com 572-9960

REAL ESTATE SERVICES I’ll Buy or Lease Your House Make Back Payments Close Quickly 874-0412

SOCIALLY RESPONSIBLE INVESTING Matches your money with your values. Through corporate screening, shareholder activism & community $$CASH$$ investing, help create a more just and Immediate Cash for structured settlesustainable world. Remove polluters ments, annuities, real estate, notes, and military contractorsfrom your private mortgage notes, accident cases portfolio and support renewable enerand insurance payouts. 800-794-7310 gy and health food! Michael Kramer is the only exclusive SRI investor in Metropolitan Mortgage & Hawaii, www.naturalinvesting.com, Securities Co., Inc. buying sellerMichael@naturalinvesting.com 808financed mortgages through brokers 331-0910 since 1953. To broker a note, call 1800-268-9184. Visit us online at Car Accident? www.metrobuysnotes.com. If you have been in an auto accident,

SERVICES

Call to Visual Artists! Promote your work online at SynapseArt.com. join network of artists for as low as $50 a year. 888804-0596 Arboricultural Services Protecting our greatest natural resource. Consultation and treatments for all aspects of quality tree and plantcare. A. Taus, Certified Arborist. 575-2873

you need to receive the free report that reveals your rights. Don’t settle your case or speak with anyone until you get your free copy. To hear more, Call Toll-Free, 24 Hours at 1-800-4487106 (24 Hr. recorded message) Gold Coast Gutters Quality Crafted Seamless Gutters 5” Copper & Aluminum 32 Colors, FREE estimates Scott, 573-0986

PALMS/ PLANTS DELIVERY Refurbished Palms- Areca- Manila- Triangle- Fox Rider, sycle bar & small mowers, Tail- Royal- Ground Covers Golden generators, restaurant equipment, Glory etc. Gardenias Free Delivery compost toilets, gas refrigerator, rotor Available. Great Deals and More! 283tiller, solar hot water tanks & panels, 0760 appliances, utility trailers & spas! Credit Cards OK (808) 823-0949 West Side Welding Mufflers and Custom Exhaust. INJURED? Welding, Fabrication Gates & Custom Experienced personal injury attorney. Exhaust. 1000 Limahana Pl in Lahaina Lloyd A. Poelman, 242-7222 Industrial. Ron 661-5900 Maui Recycling Service Picks up GOLD STAR TUTORING all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, Kindergarten-Adult. Basic subjects, mixed paper, & cardboard. Home as well as computer and software Pickup; a convenience for $15/mo! Biinstruction. Competent, affordable, monthly pick up. Commercial caring, and fun. accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443 One FREE hour to first 5 people who respond to this ad. www.goldstartutoring.com, 268-1012 Licensed Electrician Seeks work in consulting, design & installation. Also Telephone & Network Systems. 250-5844

ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommate.com

PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

NEED PC HELP? Computer & Internet Consulting & Assistance, Installations & Repair. Call 281-1169

Clean, Affordable accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 Need Medical Insurance? per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Perfect for Part-Time, Casuals or Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or Unemployed. Call 244-7858 or visit www.wailukuhouse.com www.wizecare.com/soo

Looking for Michelle Michelle/Wildbuni@yahoo.com Please contact Wanda & John dwwanda@sbcglobal.net we are looking forward to seeing you Free Mammograms and pap screens to women aged 40-49 yrs who qualify. Call Community Clinic of Maui and speak with Kathi Jones at 872-4025. Call today, don’t wait. Take care of yourself.

LOOKING FOR A FANTASY LIFE? Let me create one for you out of glass Timeless-Creation.com 667-6886

• Self Employed • Business Owners • Independent Contractors • Consultants $ 325/MO. FAMILY*

POELMAN & LANGA Real Estate & Property Law Wills & Trusts Bankruptcy Law Personal Injury 242-7222 Christine Page Photography Publicity/Headshots/Portraits for ALL occasions. Family, Weddings, NewBorns, ETC! Give the gift of yourself and say “I’M THE GIFT!” B&W and Color 242-8404 Faces in Nature.com ALL ISLAND CARPENTRY Cabins, decks, roofs, additions, flooring, etc. All jobs done professionally and efficiently 876-1381

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

Health Insurance

(In Hospital, Out Patient, Maternity, with Drug Plan)

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CALL COSTS $1.99/MIN. MUST BE 18+ WOMEN Seeking Men LULLABY Petite, local SAF, 44, mother, enjoys sailing, shopping, dancing, and more. Seeking financially secure, similar SWM, 35-45, with similar interests, for casual dating. Smokers and nonsmokers welcome. (She’s a smoker.) 857744 HAND IN HAND Attractive, intelligent SBCF, 45, 5’6”, light brown skin, Cancer, N/S, enjoys relaxing, conversation, good music, good company. Seeking SBCM, 35-50, N/S, for LTR. 280458 @WWW - WAHINEHULA SF, 42, enjoys hiking, bicycling, exploring, photographing ancient sites, swimming, camping, native history, culture, tradition, plants, people, animals. Seeking honest, understanding SM, 35-50, similar interests, friends first. 371417 TAKE A CHANCE Passionate, honest, good-humored SWF, mid50s, black/blue, very fit and slender, loves dancing, golfing, hiking, water sports. Seeking active, fit, romantic man, to share friendship and new adventures. 397095 LOCAL GIRL FROM MAUI SF, 39, 5’8”, 135lbs, black/brown, likes golf, working out, movies, dining out, quiet evenings at home. Seeking a special man, with similar interests, for friendship, possible LTR. 511709 CREATE BEAUTY SWF, 5’4”, slim, very physically fit, pretty, Cancer, desires to with a SWM partner who mirrors my spiritual path. Spirit within more important. Become more loving in every way. 50-58? 866932 WILL WE CLICK? SF, 19, 5’7”, 195lbs, bodybuilder, active person, likes the outdoors, likes working out, very honest, outgoing, fun, seeking similar SM, 2031, N/S. 481686 AQUATIC SOUL Fit, slim WF, loves the ocean, walks on the bach, dining out, movies. Looking for WM, 3550, who also likes the same, for possible LTR. 278101 SHY ONE LIKES TO HAVE FUN SAF, 25, would like to find a friend first, then possible LTR with someone who also likes to have fun. 359988

MEN Seeking Women ROMANTIC LIBRA SWM, 36, Libra, smoker, 6’, 180lbs, goodlooking, blond/blue, transplant from main land, restaurant manager, responsible, humorous, seeks masculine man, 18-36, smoker, dark complexion a plus, for dating. 557712 BEEN ON MAUI FOR 17 YRS Hard-working SWM, 6’, 145lbs, blond hair, blue eyes, likes golf, outdoor sports. Looking for lady who loves affection, 30-40. 544591 @WWW - SCOTTYBABS SM, 35, seeking SF, 30-40, to wine and dine in Maui to spend time with me at the Grand Wailea until Sunday. 347340 A+ IN CHEMISTRY SWM, 54, looks 42, fit, slim, no extra pounds, kind, domineering man, seeks submissive, slender lady, for balanced equation and whatever comes naturally. 833564 I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND SM, 33, short-black/brown, pretty good-looking, loves going to clubs occasionally, the beach, long drives. Seeking a lady for a romantic relationship. 896345 @WWW - SCJMC New to Maui! Just moved to Kihei, don’t know anyone on the island. I’m 24 and want someone to hang out with. If you’re 18-29, show me around! 343466 TALK TO ME Hard working SWM, 41, Gemini, smoker, seeks woman, 30-45, who likes going to the beach, with same interests. 456622 WILD AT HEART Attractive, active, sweet SHM, 31, Aries, N/S, seeks man, 20-50, who enjoys the outdoor, hiking, swimming. 455514

GONE FISHING SHM, 36, Taurus, smoker, painter, likes fishing, playing basketball, watching movies, seeking compatible SF, 30-45, for dating and LTR. 504993 AWAITING YOUR CALL SM, 26, 5’10”, 205lbs, counselor, enjoys working out, boxing, martial arts, beaches, BBQs, time with friends. Seeking active, honest, outgoing lady with nice personality, to share interests. 518967 @WWW - STEVEMAUI The sound of the strings of you heart. Intelligent, sweet SWM, 33, seeks SF, 20-42, who enjoys relaxing, movies, and whatever else we desire. 316620 FROM THE HEART Active, handsome, loving, caring, tall SWM, 57, Scorpio, smoker, seeks AF, 18-65, smoker, who is spontaneous, likes dancing and more. 453511 LET’S TALK Honest, outgoing SWM, 49, 5’10”, 170lbs, new to area, self-sufficient, enjoys swimming, jogging. Seeking compatible, active woman to share good times with. 471251 IS THIS YOU? HM, 35, very athletic and fit, looking for a fit, active woman who enjoys the outdoors. 425853 BOY SEEKS GIRL Guy 27 seeks girl for fun and adventures. Feet prefer sand to carpet, good food to bad, days off to working days. You be you and I’ll be me. 407424 A NICE RELATIONSHIP SWM, 51, employed, enjoys arts, movies, church and more. Seeking WCF, 30-40, N/S, for LTR. 393268 DON’T PASS ME BY Tall, blond, good-looking SM, 31, is in search of a lady to share good times, dining and more. 375980 IT WILL BE NICE To meet you once you call. Male, 26, Libra, N/S, seeks woman, 18-38, who likes movies, dining, outdoors and more. Call! 366176 FANCY FREE Athletic DM, 44, recently returned to the dating pool, and looking for a lady who likes golf, children and fun. 361864 PEOPLE THINK I’M... funny, outspoken, and open-minded! I’m a total optimist, love the outdoors, exploring. Young 62, 6’3’’, N/S, ten pounds overweight, still looking for the right woman in his life. 354590 NEW TO THE ISLANDS SM, 46, well-built, healthy, looking for a lady, 35-49, for dating, maybe lading to more. 276839 EASYGOING GUY Good-looking, fit HM, 31, 145lbs, likes art, music, more. Looking for someone who is gentle who has similar interested. 323811 CAME HERE FOR HEAVEN Tall, self-employed male, 37, physically fit, in construction, likes beaches, arts, music, relaxing, working. Seeking intelligent, spiritual, beautiful in/out SA/BF, petite to regular figure. 953212 LOVE MY LIFE... DWM, 55, business owner, no children, loves classic cars, rock-n-roll music, hiking, camping, golf, scuba diving, kicking back. Seeking SAF, who is passionate about music, for casual to permanent relationship. 442907 MAUI MAN SEEKS.... Spiritual journey with another dear heart who is playful and alive, intimate and safe, spontaneous and free-spirited, relaxed and joyful, passionate and honest. Seeking someone who understands. 709828 LET’S GO OUT Beach sunsets, movies, etc. Long-haired, selfemployed, 35-year-old SAM (5’8”, 170lbs). Looking for honesty. Must have a heart and a sense of humor. A lady any race, 18-40. 668943 I NEED SOME LOVIN’ Haven’t found anyone special while living here on Maui. Checked everywhere, including the closet and under the bed. Flexible gentleman seeks respectable, run-of-the-mill woman for romance. 360001

☎ ☎

COME JOIN ME Very attractive, fun SWM, 39, 5’11”, athletic build, good-humored, professional photographer, loves working out, spontaneity, life, romance. Seeking soulmate with passion for the same, to share laughter, adventure and more. 410886

MEN Seeking Men CALL ME SM, 31, 6’, brown/brown, seeking a SWM, 2145, for dating and possible long term relationship. 338396 MUSIC IN MY BLOOD Open to anything! Laid-back male, 24, smoker, interested in playing/writing music, loves cruising. Open to kicking it with GM, 18-25, with similar interests. 548742 FRIENDS AND LOVE SM, 5’6”, 190lbs, brown/brown, mixed ancestry, loves anything to do with excitement, movies, dining out. Seeking honest, sincere, romantic SM, 20-40, who wants to have fun, possible LTR. 333289 SEEKING CARING MAN Brown hair, 5’9. 185, 45 years old. Seeking LTR. Enjoys anything outdoors. Also, the arts, good food and walks on the beach at sunset. 470413

WOMEN Seeking Women SOFT BUTCH Attractive GWF, 38, Libra, N/S, seeks feminine, down-to-earth, outgoing woman, 27-43, N/S, who loves to travel. 110549

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For customer service call 1-800-252-0920 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 17, 2003

53


HIV COUSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment. The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900. In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

Accept All Credit Cards Today! If you want to accept all major credit cards or need check guarantee, E-check, gift cards, or if you are not satisfied with your current merchant services call Maui’s #1 Choice Merchant Provider, Mr. Kerry Barker

Singing Telegrams Comedy, Candy or Flowers

Call Mr. Top Hat 1-800-354-8608

alohasingingtelegrams.com

250-0988 PACIFIC MERCHANT SERVICES

SurfacePro Hawai’i

Professionally Resurfacing •Pools •Decks

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An affordable way to renew your old concrete Surfaces! CALL US TODAY! cell:870-1996 office:879-3166

Maui Lawn Works “we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

Jason Meyer

MISCELLANEOUS Down Under Hoops Classic Sponsors needed!!!! Support your local team when they travel to Australia this year. Every dollar helps! 280-3187

VOLUNTEERS WANTED The Maui Hero project seeks volunteers for our Maui myth, adventurebased program for middle school youth. Call AutumnLeaf at 572-4564 Women helping Women is in need of your help on Maui. We need volunteers for a few hrs. a week to help with grocery shopping, picking up & dropping off of donations at various drop-off sites. For more info. please call Cindy or Deborah 579-9696. Thank you for all of your support. Cat Lovers- We need you to help us w/ various tasks. Craft sale, fundraising, caretaker duties incl. feeding, trapping, transporting, etc. Please contact the Feline Foundation of Maui at 879-3059 or 891-1181.

573-1920

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

PLEASURE IN PARADISE Velvet Touch Pamper Yourself. Heartfelt Healings, Luxuriously soft hands for the most Soothing Tender Touch & Sensuous pleasurable, exotic massage you’ve Beauty. For Discreet Gentlemen~891- ever had. Classy Outcall and Incall 2700 service available afternoons and evenings. Savannah, 276-4190. Art of Tantra Learn sexual secrets Surrender Yourself from a Beautiful Goddess. Body & Soul sensual healing. Come to bliss To the sensual pleasures of my exotwith a trained tantrika. You deserve ic, deeply relaxing touch. Serving Maui’s West & South Side ONLY. it... 573-3406. OUTCALL ONLY. Kara 280-4322

Sculpt-U Bodyworks A deeply relaxing hour of exquisite bodywork 250-4817 CHAT LIVE NOW! Connect instantly! 18+ 808-5366625. Ad#4299 Meet HOT Singles! Connect locally. 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad#4288 Paradise Spice... Maui’s gay headquarters, huge selection of videos, toys & magazines. 249-2449

Find Out Why My Secret Garden Maui’s Couples A place of Magic PREFER Paradise Spice! An hour of Pleasure MAUI’S ADULT SUPERSTORE A date with Beauty Most Comprehensive Magazine Selection New Releases on Videos & DVDs Largest Selection of Adult Toys Preview Arcade www.paradisespice.com (808)249-2449 • 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku

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Call us today for a free initial consultation.

WAILUKU: 244-2030

LAHAINA: 667-9512

2158 Main Street, Ste. 109

505 Front Street, Ste. 222 Hawaii Nature Center is now recruiting individuals to serve as volunteer teaching docents for Spring 2003. Will work outdoors & teach exciting environmental education lessons to visiting elementary school groups at field sites in ‘Iao Valley. Jan-May 1 weekday per week, 4 hrs. in am. Orientation & training provided. Please contact Education Program Manager Denby Freeland 244-6500, ext.16.

DJ BOOMSHOT Skilled, Professional, Reliable Available For: • Club Bookings • Weddings • House Parties • Surf/Core Sporting Events

Volunteers needed to help build a unique community-built REGIONAL playstructure at the Haiku Fourth Marine Park. We need volunteers boomshot@maui.net now to help organize this. We need: fundraiser coordinators, grant writers, STOP SELF-SABOTAGE childcare coordinators & anyone who STOP SELF-LIMITING BELIEFS! wants to help! Pickets on sale also. Transformational Kinesiology affects Call 573-6516. www.mauiplay- permanent change. Debra Greene, ground.org Ph.D. 874-6441. www.TK-US.com

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TwâÄà fxÜä|vxá Totally relax and let go. Come !! SATISFACTION GUARANTEED !! Sweet Sensations and experience my wonderful touch. Goddess Love Bodywork by a Real Delight in the Healing Hands of Goddess Very sensuous, enjoyable & healing. Beautiful Angel. An Hour of Ecstasy and Nature. Ocean-Side Body Work for 250-4557 Awaits. Days or Evenings, 298-4012 Maximum Relaxation, 244-4102

We Can Help You Achieve Your Goals

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Depressed? Anxiety? Insomnia? New Science Treatment: LIGHTWAVE REPATTERNING Resets Brain Chemicals. Results Immed. The Relationship & The Remedy Certified CES Technician 385-7378 Hypoglycemia: eating disorders and addictions. $12 Saturday July 26, 2- Now booking Lahaina for Aug/Sep!! 3:30 PM @ Beyond Heaven in AQUACRANIAL Makawao, 573-8828 Aquacranial with Rebecca Goff www.acquacranial.com 879-0963 REIKI TRAINING Levels 1 & 2. Private or group. 662Gifts For Your Soul 8535 Stop in and Pick Up the Things That Feed Your Soul Today! New Waves Iyengar Hatha Yoga Beginner classes starting, very per- Wellness Center, 1170 Makawao Ave sonalized. Mana Kai Maui in Kihei, call KUNDALINI YOGA SCHEDULE Deni Roman at 874-5545 or e-mail UNLEASH YOUR HIGHEST POTENTIAL deniyoga@maui.net for schedule AND CREATIVITY THROUGH KUNDALINI YOGA. MON & FRI: 9 AM & 6:15 PM COLON THERAPY With Shelley St John RN., CHT. Other & SAT. 9 AM. BUDDY 1ST TIME TRYOUT FOR $5 DISCOUNT 269-2895 holistic therpies available. 573-0696

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Maui Recycling Service If not now, when?

CURBSIDE RECYCLING! FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of biweekly service – (A $25 value!) New customers only – offer expires 6/30/03

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com Paid for by County of Maui recycling grant funds.

54

JULY 17, 2003

CLASSIFIED


HOT!!! NEW!!!! Clinically proven Hawaiian herbal 14day weight loss program! Call now, (808) 895-0549 Inter Dimensional Flights Daily! Harmonic Resonance Therapy (TM) Whole body 3-D sound immersion and light therapy. Hear and feel 3Dimensional sound penetrating throughout your body and shakras. Migrane prevention, pain mgmt., mind massage & instant stress relief. Visit www.3dsonix.com 573-8828 MAUI’S HOLISTIC EVENTS Maui’s most complete listing of Mind Body & Spirit events. Visit www.mauivision.net. August/ September issue out soon! Maui Vision today! 669-9091 VEGETARIAN COOK I am a vegetarian cook- I will shop and cook for you. $14 an hour. call 283-1972 Aquacranial Therapy Basic Training on August 1-4. Dolphinbased movements which extend the scope of cranial sacral therapy. Ocean treatments incorporate wave motion, reduced gravity, three dimensional movements, sensory insulations & prenatal. Please call Rebecca Goff @ 879-0963 or www.aquacranial.com Counseling Women’s Issues Family Therapy Adolescent Problems Veronica Whitworth, MSW.CAC 808-264-3836 West Maui Yoga Schedule Tues/Thurs/Sun 10:30 AM Wed/Fri 5 PM 669-4412 Yoga @ Dawn with Reyna Every Wednesday, 5:30 AM at the Kapalua barn. Coupons/Groups available Only $10 per class! 669-4412 SOUL CENTERED Quality Bodywork for earnest persons, 357-1497 PEACE CIRCLE Centered at The Gateway for Healing is a weekly radiance of Healing Light, sent out for all nations & all peoples of the world. EVERY SUNDAY at 5. If you would like to play an active part in the Peace Circle, there are 2 ways to participate: Call for directions & come join us; or link up spiritually from wherever you are in the world, to help spread the Light, Peace, Love & healing throughout the globe. If you want to receive the Light for self-healing, e-mail us with your name & your request. Call (808) 268-8853 OR e-mail: info@thegatewayforhealing.com FREE 3-DAY TRIAL That’s right. You must love it to keep it. America’s #1 Best Air and Water Purifiers. Used in the Pentagon & all US Embassies. LIVING AIR & LIVING WATER Greatly Reduces Mold, Dust, Odors & Chemical Outgassing. One unit does a whole home or business. Distributorships Offered 874-5676

LETTERS

NEWS

Amico’s Massage Therapy “Friendly, Professional & Affordable” By Eugenio Amico MAT# 5582 email: eugenioamico@usa.net Island wide outcall until midnight” Personalized sessions to fit your needs. From deep massage to light energy work” Day spa avail. w/sauna & jacuzzi. Double-Bookings ~ Save $10! Couples Massage Lessons, Weddings, Birthdays, & Bachelorette Parties. Gift certificates available 280-0278

ALOHA SEXUAL HEALTH & HAPPINESS

Counseling For all Sex & Intimacy Concerns Confidential • Free Phone Consultation

Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.

Bikram’s Beginner Yoga

Hands in Motion Maui Massage by Brooke Helgeson. Professional Therapeutic Massage. Specializing in deep tissue massage. Enjoy the benefits of massage in your own room. Call 250-4515. MAT# 6120, member of AMTA 110175

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Maui Massage Island-Wide service. What better way to treat yourself than to receive a deeply relaxing and rejuvenating one hour massage? Call us today and receive 20% of your first massage. 283-3637 M.A.T. # 7299

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CLASSES & INSTRUCTION T’AI CHI MAUI Call for Free Class, 573-3355

ENDERBODIES Holli Pierce Certified Endermologie Technician

THE REAL APHRODISIAC! Relationship Education. Couples classHaiku Massage es July 26-27 or August 21. $40/hr mornings only. In a quiet & www.HeartPath.org. Permanently revi- professional setting, helping others for talize your relationship! Call 874-6441 15 yrs. Strong sensitive hands. From relaxing to specific deep tissue work. Begin your career Roger Engel 283-8410 MAT#4863 In Massage at the Maui Academy of Healing Arts in Kihei. Open House Sun 8/3 3-4 PM. Classes start 8/19 Call 879-4266

MASSAGE Majik Hands Bodywork Licensed Tai Massage, Ayurgedic & Barefoot Shiatsu. Instruction & Sliding scale available. Ishiah, 298-4576

Medical Intuitive Clarvoyant Spiritual Guide (Soul Blueprint Work) For Appt. Sonja 1-800-384-0019 VM

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

BLISS THERAPY

INTUITIVE COUNSELING Expect: Clarity, Specifics, Guidance, RESULTS! Sharon Brookes, CMT Clairvoyant, Workshop leader, TV appearances & Speaker throughout the U.S. Intuitive Development, Meditation & Creative Visualization Workshops (808) 891-9247

MAE1435

Meditation & Massage Workshops & Classes

WALK-IN YOGA

• Kundalini • Iyengar • Restorative

• Pre-Natal • Vini Yoga • Feldenkrais

Morning Cafe each Wednesday See Yoga Schedules Online

808/283-5575

Sonic Sound Healing

–INTEGRATING– • Anointing of the Didgeridoo & Mystic Bowls • Reflexology, Acupressure & Energy Medicine • Lomi Lomi–Hawn practioner of 10 years

Massage Therapy Reiki Breathwork Intuitive Readings 900 FRONT STREET I-18

662-8535 @ Soul Happy

Aloha Bodyworks

280-3500

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 17, 2003

55


7/17 7/18

BLUES & JAZZ THE PARTY KING!

BOBBY INGRAM

8pm 1945H SOUTH KIHEI RD • 879-9944

ANA PAU HERS! T S O F

ALOHA 7/19 STROKIN 7/20& 7/21 7/23 KARAOKE SATURDAYS S.I.N. NIGHTS WEDNESDAYS FRIDAY SERVICE INDUSTRY

LIVE MUSIC!

DANCING ALL NIGHT LONG!

CRUNCH PUPS

DRINK SPECIALS BRING THE FAMILY, SING EARLY! 8:30-11pm GALORE!!!

$2 STEINLAGERS

ROCKIN THE NIGHT AWAY

LOCAL KINE JAMS

Journeyman Jewelers

back side

We buy and sell everything from surfboards to diamonds. Come check us out. West Maui Gold, behind Pizza Hut. 667-7689

Maui Kawasaki

LOOKING FOR A NEW AUTO? Save time, hassle & money. Effortless Auto guarantees the lowest price! 891-AUTO

Mopeds-Best Prices in Maui Hussar $19.95 HP 50 cc Engine, Huge Disc Brakes Abruzzi Only $12.95 Italian Design 667-1884

CHERRY BOMB TATTOO IN KIHEI Needs a Tattoo Artist, Piercer & Apprentices. F/T & P/T. Great Location & High Traffic. Call 891-BODY (2639)

KARETECH COMPUTER REPAIR

150 Dairy Rd. • 808/877-7433 www.mauicarsandbikes.com • Open Daily

$$ SAVE ON LAPTOPS $$ Dell Latitude 650 MHZ/128/56K/10GB/CD-DVD/Win 98 Refurbished $749 & IBM Thinkpad 600E PENT. 2 366 MHZ/128/56K/DVD/CDRW(burner) combo WIN 98 Gd. Bat. $699 Epson Stylus Printer C-60 & extra ink $59. Call 243-0133

ARE YOU IN NEED OF A FANTASY? Need a gift? Unique Glass Art. Custom work accepted. Timeless Creation.com Call 667-6886

Service & Repair with care after hours OK 276-2056

Molokai

Ferry

TRY BEAT OUR PRICES!

• Natural Hormones • Cosmetic (Female), Dermatology Testosterone • HGH (Male) • Botox • Prevention • Collagen Against Cancer, • Foto Facial IPL Alzheimers Laser Like Arthritis, Heart • Chemical Peels Disease • Advanced Skin Products Offices in Wailea, Kihei, Makawao, Lahaina For an Appointment Call,

808.276.4130 BURTON FEINERMAN, M.D.

Fresh Maui Fruit Baskets

1 Hour Rates:

Starting at $119/wk, $440/mo. + tax. 1960 Main St., Wailuku, 986-1700

Massage $30 Facial $30 Acupuncture $35

Air Maui Helicopter Tours

Kaunakakai to Lahaina Days Mon-Sat Mon,Wed,Fri,Sat Sunday

Free Consultations

Ferry One Way

POELMAN & LANGA Attorneys At Law 242-7222

ISLAND COINS AND STAMPS HAWAIIANA FLAGS SPORTS CARDS COMICS Wharf Center, 10-8PM, 3rd Floor, Lahaina, 667-6155

$500/start $4000 potential. Serious male muscle men only. MUSCULAR, TONED, RIPPED, GOOD SYMMETRY ONLY! Current photo(s): talent@muscle.tv 310-686-7335

Maui Princess Cruises

For appointments, call

658 Front Street, Lahaina Reservations: 662-3355

244-6778

2099 Wells St., Wailuku

www.molokaiferry.com

THURSDAY

Coor’s Light Party! Drink Specials All Night! L I P O A

FRIDAY

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2003. For reservations call877-7005

beauty, lifestyle. All ages. Mail photo: RC Studios, PO Box 1758, Kihei, HI 96753. Just visiting? Call 8745755. For more info: www.ronchapple.com/model

SATURDAY

LIVE flava HAWAIIAN zone JAMS! hawaii

Koa Uka

S T R E E T ,

Drink Specials All Night!

L I P O A

FISHING Action

2 for 1 Special!

BLUE BAMBOO Models Needed Chinese Medical Center & Spa Hiring models for stock projects. $50/hour. Fitness,

Adult: $40 / Child: $20 Book of Six $185

E .

Lloyd A. Poelman

Delivered on Maui or shipped worldwide. Sweet Life Fruit Co. 808-27SWEET (277-9338) www.mauifruitbaskets.com

ALL KINE CAR RENTALS

Days Mon,Wed,Fri,Sat Daily

•Personal Injury

Gift Baskets & Flowers

Lahaina to Kaunakakai

4 1

•Business Law

MUSCLE & FITNESS MEETS REALITY WEB TELEVISION

Trained at the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN

MAUI-MOLOKAI FERRY SCHEDULE

Arrive 7:15a 4:15p 4:45p

•Wills & Trusts

ANTI-AGING MEDICINE

Microsoft Office and general office projects, software instruction. From large to small, we do it all. www.mauisoftwaresolutions.com, 268-1012

Depart 5:30a 2:30p 3:00p

•Real Estate/ Property Law

FEEL AND LOOK YOUNG

OFFICE MASTERS

Arrive 8:15a 7:00p

Need a Fresh Start?

$$ PAWN SHOP IN LAHAINA $$

High visibility! Low Costs! Back Side Classifieds Work! CALL (808) 661-3786 for complete details!

Depart 6:30a 5:15p

Bankrupt?

Design & Repair. Located @ West Maui Gold in Lahaina. Est. 1978 Bob Vierra, 667-7689

SUNDAY

TEEN NIGHT z

C E N T E R ,

MONDAY

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ 42’ Bertram Sportfisher Private or Share Trips 1/4, 1/2, 3/4, & Full Day Charters

Maui: (808) 667-2774 KONA: (808) 327-1265

TUESDAY

TOLL FREE 1-800-590-0133

WEDNESDAY

ALOHA Ultra WEDNESDAY Fab All Drinks $2 until Tuesday Midnight!

Willie K OWNS Mondays!

K I H E I

w/DJ Blast & Chilltown Productions •

8 7 9 - 9 0 0 1

07.03 2003 Best of Maui, July 17, 2003, Volume 7, Issue 03, MauiTime  

The results are in for Maui's Best in Goods & Services, Politics & Environment, Food & Drink, Sports & Leisure, and Arts & Entertainment for...