07.38 2004 Gomega Fest, March 18, 2004, Volume 7, Issue 38, MauiTime

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MARCH 18 2004

Slew of

Music

Gomega Fest 2004

VOLUME 7

5 FLIP NICKLIN And his whales

12 NOTHING SAYS LOVING Like something from Dish

30 HOLOHOLO GIRL Loves talk shows, hates couples

ISSUE 38

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MARCH 18, 2004

CONTENTS VOLUME 7 • ISSUE 38

COVER STORY 10 Slew of Music Gomega Fest 2004

by Samantha Campos

LOCAL NEWS 5 Making a Splash 8 Land is Life

National Geographic photographer Flip Nicklin talks about whales by Samantha Campos The importance of the recent Makena hearings

by Joshua Cooper

OP ED Go Go Gomega Fest! - P. 10 9 In Defense of Radicalism DEPARTMENTS DINING 4 NEW COLUMN! 12 How to Be a Superstar 4 EH BRAH! Or, the unhealthy American obsession with moderation by Ted Rall

Nothing says loving like something from Dish

by Marnie Masuda

6 COCONUT WIRELESS

A&E 17 Gomega

6 OVERHEARD...

Maui’s most versatile band

by Samantha Campos

www.honoluasurf.com

7 NEWS OF THE WEIRD

FILM CRITIQUE 18 Mayhem in Montreal Taking Lives ( )

by Cole Smithey

(888) HONOLUA

13 DINING LISTINGS 18 TIDES & TIMES 27 PERSONALS

DAY&NIGHT 19 Movie Capsules & Times 20 this week’s picks 21 Da Kine Calendar 22 The Grid

28 CLASSIFIED LISTINGS 29 KOZMIC BREEZE 30 HOLOHOLO GIRL 32 BACK SIDE

COVER PHOTO: SEAN M. HOWER

COVER DESIGN: RUDI KING

MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761 office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

www.mauitime.com

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com Calendar Goddess: Kim Welch kim@mauitime.com Contributing Writers: Joshua Cooper, Joe Gatto, Marnie Masuda, Koz McKev, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, George Thrustgood Illustration: Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Kirsten Guenther

Production Assistants: Debbie Belle, Wendy Higa Director of Advertising: Jeff Onderko jeff@mauitime.com Display Account Executive: Katy Leahey katy@mauitime.com Classified Advertising: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com

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MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2004 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 11,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

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MARCH 18, 2004

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NEWCOLUMN!

BY GEORGE THRUSTGOOD

Ask a Tedeschi Vineyards Press Release Dear Tedeschi Vineyards Press Release, With the global economy being kind of unstable in general and Wall Street fluctuating rapidly in particular, what kind of investments should I be making? My friend said that in times like this people put their money in gold, but I don’t really want to do that because gold is pretty heavy and I don’t think I should have to carry around a lot of gold bars just to make sure my money is secure.

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UP PSEFS UPEBZ

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01 HYUNDAI TIBURON

ULUPALAKUA, Maui, Hawaii (March 9, 2004)—This month, Tedeschi Vineyards— Maui’s Winery is unveiling a new label for its renowned Maui Blanc Pineapple Wine.

With a fresh design that prominently flaunts the tropical fruit from which it is derived, the label’s debut is regarded as a sort of a “coming out of the crate” for the pineapple wine, which sells over a quarter of a million bottles annually.

I think my neighbor’s been stealing my newspaper every morning. I don’t have proof, but I’m pretty sure because I pay my subscription every year like I should and never get anything but I always see him sitting on his front porch in the morning reading the paper and laughing. I should really go over there and bust his jaw, but he’s a big guy who I think used to fight hobos at the rail yard. What should I do?

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Pineapple silhouettes are tastefully embedded throughout the label and embossed on the seal. To enhance the new look, Tedeschi Vineyards also commissioned an original painting by local artist, Betty Hay Freeland, as the centerpiece for the label. The image is distinctive of pastoral upcountry Maui, overlooking the pineapple fields on the slopes of Haleakala, warmly lit by the afternoon sun. Freeland

Stop wining said she used colors reminiscent of the pineapple family, greens, yellows and bronzed hues, along with a touch of lavender to highlight the blooming Jacaranda trees in the springtime.

Whenever my boyfriend and I have sex, he insists on wearing a top hat and bowtie and always wants to sing Wayne Newton songs.

Should I dump him?

-Always been more of a Jack Jones girl “It has been 15 years since we changed the artwork for our top selling wine,” said Paula Hegele, president and general manager of Maui’s Winery. “We are extremely delighted to introduce a new label that proudly recognizes Hawaii’s ‘golden fruit’—the pineapple, which is used to make every bottle of our ever-popular Maui Blanc Pineapple Wine.”

Although a fruitful product for the company, it was almost a matter of chance that the pineapple wine came about. In the mid-1970s, while Tedeschi Vineyards waited for its first harvest of grapes to ripen, co-founder Emil Tedeschi worked with the juice of another fruit—the pineapple. Finally, in 1977, Tedeschi Vineyards’ famed Maui Blanc Pineapple Wine was released, and an instant star was born. The success of what had been viewed by its creators as an “experimental” product helped spur almost three decades of growth for the Maui Winery. MTW

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com To the tattoo inker who branded a tattoo on my 17-year-old daughter: It’s illegal to tattoo a minor without parental consent. You didn’t even ask her for her ID! Now she’s scarred and marred for life. Dirty money! What are the legal consequences for this? You may just find out.

LOCALNEWS

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

LCNameWatch Game

Making a Splash National Geographic photographer Flip Nicklin talks about whales

PHOTO: JIM DARLING

Flip Flip Nicklin is a famous National Geographic photographer and marine mammal researcher who grew up watching whales with his father at Point Lomas in California.

“In 1963, my father rode a whale,” said Nicklin, who is now involved with one of the largest federally funded research projects for the North Pacific Humpback Whales. During a Mar. 9 lecture at the Wailea Marriott, Nicklin told the story of how his father and some divers were out fishing for lobster and discovered a whale whose tale was caught in a gill net. Trying to figure out how to release the whale, which was not moving, the divers crawled on top, under and around the large creature.

“Stuff you could get arrested for today!” said Nicklin. Eventually, they pulled the embedded line out from the whale and it swam away.

The resulting notoriety from the photos Nicklin’s father took was “good for the diving business” and also sparked interest in more extensive whale research. In 1976, Nicklin began his work with National Geographic as a deckhand and diving assistant and became their official marine mammal photographer by 1984.

Nicklin spoke last Tuesday as part of a lecture called “Our Changing View with Whales” sponsored by the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration (NOAA)’s Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary. He encouraged the community to learn more

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about ongoing humpback whale research being conducted just off our island’s shoreline.

The current project that Nicklin is involved in is called SPLASH, which stands for the “Structure of Populations, Level of Abundance and Status of Humpbacks.”

About 200 people filed into the Lokelani meeting room to view Nicklin’s slides and videos spanning 25 years of marine mammal research and underwater photography. As the ‘50s hit “Splish Splash” played, Nicklin explained the current humpback whale research, concentrating on social behavior and communication. Researchers are focusing on humpback whales right now because they’re easy to get to. They will then use that information as the basis for future research with whales that aren’t so accessible.

“Basically, we’re trying to figure out what the heck they’re doing!” Nicklin said.

Nicklin then presented a recent video of two humpback whales slowly swimming around each other, spinning and turning almost like they’re dancing together.

“Incredible!” said somebody in the audience.

“Are they singing?” asked someone else.

“No, I believe that’s Henry Allen,” Nicklin said, laughingly referring to the version of “Blue Hawaii” playing overhead.

“Is that a male-female pair?” a middle-aged woman asked. “We’re from San Francisco.”

After the laughing subsided, Nicklin told the story behind one of the close-up video shots he was showing. He said that as he lay floating at the surface with his camera, trying hard not to move, a whale floated up towards him, gently lifting him up on its pectoral fin

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for a little swim before gliding back into deeper waters.

“At this point, I’m wondering, ‘What’s it going to do next?’ and ‘I hope it likes me!’” he said.

After telling his story, a woman in the audience spoke about a similar experience—a friend was lifted up and away by a humpback whale, which was protecting its calf. The woman was amazed at the gentleness the whale had in leading the woman away from its calf.

“It’s amazing the control these animals have,” said Nicklin.

One thing the researchers have discovered is that breaching signifies a sort of “punctuation” in whale behavior, as they change activities or note a change in conditions, like sunrise to sunset.

Nicklin talked extensively about “singers”— humpback whales who make a series of clicks and whistles as a form of communication that are delivered as distinctive and identifiable whale “songs.” From Alaska to Japan and Hawaii, many song patterns—or “lyrics”— remain consistent.

“Do we know what the lyrics are?” asked somebody in the audience.

Nicklin said that researchers know the songs are not used directly to attract females.

He explained that the songs must have meaning because they’re so intricate, but admitted that they didn’t know the whole story as of yet.

“That’s why we keep coming back,” he said, “to figure it out.” MTW

The following tale comes to you directly from recently released files of the Maui County Department of Liquor Control. No names have been changed to protect the innocent, guilty or merely imbibed.

ESTABLISHMENT Dick’s Place, Kihei

DATE Aug. 2, 2003

TIME 11:00 p.m.

VIOLATION Rule 08-101-70(f): Employee Approved By The Director

LC OFFICER James R. Kendrick, Jr.

REPORT It had been a bad night for Dick’s to start with. First no one IDed that couple that came in at 6:30 after each had spent the day at the beach downing “8-9 Bud Light beers.” Then Dick’s served them three more beers and a Top Shelf Margarita. All that would have been bad enough, but then the guy had to go and drive his pickup over his girlfriend twice in the parking lot beneath about a dozen witnesses at Denny’s. “If you think he’s drunk,” a cop told another LC officer that same night, “he’s nothing compared to the female. She’s totally out of it. She’s so wasted she did not feel anything. No pain at all!”

All the above amounted to six counts that drew a “No Contest” plea from Dick’s. But it was while investigating who was on duty when the couple was drinking that Kendrick discovered the 70(f) violation.

“It was determined that two (2) of the time cards did not have the legal first names and/or surnames of the employee to whom the time card belonged,” reported Kendrick. “The time card belonging to Daniel MACNEIL had his name listed as ‘Dan MACNEIL.’ The time card belonging to Elizabeth MINTON had her name listed as Liz MINTON.’” Kendrick duly seized the cards “as evidence” and issued Notice of Violation #2121. Ironically, it was bartender MacNeil who received the violation, but took care to sign it “Daniel MacNeil.”

ASSESSMENT Time card fraud is ruining American industry. Get those names spelled right, people!

—Anthony Pignataro

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

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LOCALNEWS MONDAY, MAR. 8 More than 120 people showed at the Kihei Community Center to express their support and/or outrage at plans by the Japanese conglomerate Seibu to build a Wailea-sized high-end resort at Makena—a still mostly pristine beach that holds great cultural significance to the Hawaiian people. A couple days before, County Councilman Wayne Nishiki explained the development in rather dire terms: “Development cannot be allowed to destroy, disrespect or disregard the Hawaiian culture,” Nishiki said in a press release. Nishiki also took a refreshing look at how the proposed resort will largely, if not exclusively, benefit rich people. “If Maui’s people can work in the area to serve affluent visitors and residents, they can surely live in that area,” he wrote. “Why shouldn’t we all be able to live together?”… The stock market may be shaky, but here on Maui it’s a bull market for paranoia. According to the recent Feb. 27 “Focus: Maui” issue of the Pacific Business News, security gates, closed-circuit television cameras and wireless keys are all the rage right now amongst the island’s well-to-do. Public parks, once built with enclosed wooded areas, are now constructed without any “secluded dark areas where people can hide,” Maui architect Russell Gushi was quoted as saying. Secluded dark areas? Isn’t that pretty much the whole Hana coast? In any case, fortress-like homes will soon be available to all: “As with anything, they start in the high-end market and work their way down to regular folks,” said Jim Stewart, who owns a local security company.

TUESDAY, MAR. 9 Former boxer Johnny “Bang-Bang” Jackson announces he’s running for County Council seat in South Maui. To be honest, the press release came in yesterday

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

but is dated tomorrow, so I averaged the actual time of the announcement to today. But yeah, Bang-Bang wants to sit on the council dais with Dain Kane and the rest and do council stuff. Now before you start saying how crazy and weird and probably impossible it would be for an old tomato can named “Bang-Bang” to get on the county council, just remember the following two words: Governor Schwarzenegger… Speaking of getting the government we deserve, state auditors have determined that a law enacted in 2000 to make the “unduly cumbersome civil service system” of 38,000 employees less unduly cumbersome through a series of “separation incentives” has resulted in the trimming of—drumroll, please—88 jobs, reports the Associated Press. Wow… government can’t get rid of those pesky civil service employees, who always enjoy the job security, pension plan and good health care coverage that comes with civil service. Imagine that—common workers wanting good wages and decent benefits! The nerve!

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

WEDNESDAY, MAR. 10 In a shocking move sure to provoke outrage and even possibly riots in the street, the Maui Chamber of Commerce gave a thumbs-up to Governor Linda Lingle’s proposed ballot measure on busting up the state school board into seven regional boards. “[This] will provide the education reform needed to prepare the children of Maui to compete for quality jobs in the global marketplace,” Maui Chamber president Lynne Woods told The Maui News, which for some reason buried this bombshell on page A14.

Imagine! The Chamber of Commerce supports Lingle! It’s all so incredible. You mean those tens of thousands of dollars in contributions Chamber members have been giving her for the past seven years actually meant something? Do you think it has anything to do with the loving reception Lingle got six weeks ago at the big Chamber luncheon at the Four Seasons Resort in Wailea when she announced she was going after

OVERHEARD...

“IF I’M GOING TO SHOWER, IT’S GOT TO BE SCALDING HOT.” -Guy to his pals, Hard Rock Café, Mar. 14

“Maui’s BEST Saigon Steak!”

the state school board with a chainsaw?

THURSDAY, MAR. 11 Just looked on my calendar and realized that Earth Day—the day when we all get together and celebrate the, um, Earth—is barely five weeks away! Where does the time go? And by a strange coincidence, the Maui Nui Botanical Gardens in Kahului faxed us—little old us!—a press release this very day announcing their Second Annual Earth Day Celebration on April 17. There’s going to be music, “informational booths, games, cultural demonstrations and ono food.”

Now everyone knows how I love a good informational booth, but what’s the deal with this year’s theme: “Save something!” Something? You mean like the whales? Check. The nene? Check.

Aluminum cans? Rare Spanish Doubloons?

Pictures of Heather Graham in a variety of evening gowns and short skirts torn from issues of People and Marie Claire? Check, check and check. Look, we’ve got five weeks—can we come

“Get out of your head and into your body”

up with a theme that’s a little more specific?

FRIDAY, MAR. 12 And now, if you’ll indulge me, I’d like to get serious for a moment. We live in difficult times, and a lot of people are scared. People deal with fear in different ways, and one of those ways is with humor. While often good, humor—if used improperly—can lead to bad things. People, in their rush to alleviate their own feelings of trepidation, often don’t think about the harm they’re causing others. As must be painfully obvious, I’m speaking of the lumber industry. Now we’ve all heard the jokes, the sly innuendoes, the repeated use of the word “wood” by late night talk shows hosts. Well, it’s all going to end, thanks to the good folks at the Hawaii Lumber Products Association (HLPA) and its new “public education campaign.” “It is time for the myths and untruths that have been promoted about lumber over the past several years in Hawaii to be dispelled,” said HLPA board member Dave Rinell in an industry press release.

“We in the industry know that lumber is THE clear environmental and economical choice for today’s homebuilders, and soon Hawaii will understand this truth.” A bit defensive?

Perhaps. Maybe even a little hurt. But can you blame them? HLPA knows their back is to the wall—they know they will have a tough job trying to convince the public that lumber is “a renewable building material resource that provides benefits to the environment, produces the most sound construction economics, creates architectural flexibility and meets the highest structural engineering standards today, among other benefits.” As their recent release shows, they’re going to have to do a full campaign, with advertising, a new website (www.hawaiilumber.com), industry workshops, events and even a speakers bureau. Thank goodness the HLPA folks can tough it out. “We will work to bring this positive message about lumber products to the public and industry professionals on a consistent basis this year through education and promotion supported by a variety of widespread industry stakeholders here and on the mainland,” said HLPA president Hap Person. Via con dios, Hap.

SATURDAY, MAR. 13 Heh heh… wood. I just now got that.

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MARCH 18, 2004

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NEWSOFTHEWEIRD

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD

KAHULUIFREE ISLAND-WIDE HAIKU

TOY WITH THESE Among the anticipated products at the February American International Toy Fair in New York City (according to the New York Post) were a gun that shoots boogers, a squeezable doll that smells like rotten eggs, a flea (based on a pro wrestling character) that emits rank body odors after warning “I’m gonna blow,” and a dissectible brain that oozes slime. Also at the show, St. Petersburg, Fla., inventor Tim Engler was pushing his pump-operated, heavy squirt-gun artillery that mounts on bicycles. (Not at the fair, but currently a hot Internet pass-around ad is a color poster for Japan’s Kaba-Kick, a pink toy gun shaped like a hippo that appears designed for children to play Russian roulette, but with the loser merely kicked in the head by the hippo. The Kaba-Kick was discontinued by Takura Toys in 1992, but its ad apparently lives on.)

BRIGHT IDEAS Albuquerque emergency room physician Sam Slishman is working to launch his Endorphin Power Co., which is a homeless shelter providing drug rehabilitation based on vigorous exercise at onpremises workout stations. However, Slishman also wants his center to help pay for itself by selling the electric power that could be harnessed by his down-and-out population’s daily workouts (pedaling, lifting, working the treadmills).

Endorphin Power, Slishman says, will be the city’s inspirational flagship for “social rehabilitation and renewable energy.”

DENTAL FOLLIES Dentist Mohamedraza Huss Bhimani (Orland Park, Ill.), whom police say fondled three female patients, was arrested in his office while he happened to be working

on another patient, in mid-filling (October).

(The patient had to rush to another dentist to finish the job.) And Dr. Leon Gombis (Oak Lawn, Ill.) had battery charges filed against him after he, wielding pliers, ripped a cap out of the mouth of a 58-year-old patient, believing (mistakenly) that she was behind on her payments (January).

COMPELLING EXPLANATION At press time, U.S. Air Force Capt.

Jacqueline Chester was scheduled for court martial in Dover, Del., for having tested positive for cocaine; in her defense, her now-exhusband said that during their marriage, he had occasionally rubbed cocaine on his genitals for pleasure-enhancement and that the otherwise-drug-free Jacqueline might have absorbed it through her own genital walls.

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS In Tarpon Springs, Fla., William Ray Hunter, 41, was arrested and charged with defrauding a series of at least 19 Northerners who had paid him a total of $33,000 in advance to rent his mobile home for the winter starting Jan. 1. Hunter apparently had made no effort to move out by the time the tenants started arriving. Said Sheriff’s Sgt. Bob Hart, “I don’t think he thought too much about what would happen when everybody showed up.

Most people have a plan. (Hunter) had the first part, but he didn’t have the second part.”

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A 46-year-old motorcyclist, speeding, yelling obscenities, and shaking his fist alongside an 18-wheeler that had made a left turn of questionable etiquette on a Corpus Christi, Texas, street, lost control of the cycle, fell off, and was fatally dragged underneath the truck (October).

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

7

LOCALNEWS

BY JOSHUA COOPER

Land is Life The importance of the recent Makena hearings “Land is life,” said the American Indian activist Carrie Dann. “Land provides everything you need. It is our mother. We see land as the mother of all life.

Everything comes from the land.”

Many of us have forgotten the words of wisdom from the traditional people on the planet. Our environment deserves to be at the forefront of our community and future generations, yet it is clearly not.

“If you keep building you will ruin the reason people come here,” a man told me on a recent flight. This guy wasn’t a tree-hugging tourist but a concrete maker from Colorado. If he understands the danger of virtually unrestricted development, why don’t the developers and policymakers realize the impact on this sacred soil?

At least there are signs of improvement.

From a visit from a Newe—Western Shoshone—grandmother to Maui to the Makena hearing for a proposed project, people are mobilizing to listen and learn and even suggest possible values and visions.

The idea of island preservation and protection should be the driving force for future decision-making. Instead of growth

based on greed and development for the mighty dollar, we need to create criteria embracing culture, employment creation, educational opportunities and ecological harmony.

The Makena testimonies in Kihei during the March 8 week are a good model of the necessity for an alternative approach advancing principles of aloha aina. Hundreds of residents have realized protection of this sacred site could preserve the land to be used for future generations based on the necessary needs.

“It is the duty of people here to take care of the earth so she will make sure it provides for us,” said Dann recently, describing the symbiotic relationship between humanity and ecology. “This land is what gives me life. When I die, she will cradle me. From this land will come future generations. We don’t own the land. The land belongs to future generations.

Whatever we and those generations need for life comes from the land.”

The intent here is more than poetic prose.

While the masses mobilized on Makena for a hearing debating to build or not to build, we should move beyond toward sustainability and social justice for our lives and those of future generations.

The land in question I’ve always believed I understood the philosophy based on collective rights toward land that is spoken and practiced by indigenous peoples. But walking the earth with Carrie Dann as well as listening to the arguments around Makena, it’s become clear to me that the wisdom is beyond any material wealth. We must taste the truth.

“Our land is not for sale,” said Dann. “Our land is our mother. We aren’t accepting that money.”

Many citizens in our society believe everything has a price. But true sustainability can only come from putting land beyond the bottom line of profit and cost analysis.

There are students living on Maui right now who have nurturing families. They’ve applied themselves to academic and career excellence.

But even with these positive circumstances, the reality is that they have no future in

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MARCH 18, 2004

NEWS

Hawaii without the land.

No child born on Maui can afford to live here without a land base passed down from generation to generation. No employment opportunity will provide enough funds to remain a citizen of Maui. Keiko o Ka Aina will have to be an export on the global economy instead of a grassroots citizen engaged in our community.

The act of selling land adversely impacts not just individuals but the collective identity of all Hawaii. Without adopting and advocating Dann’s Western Shoshone model of land, we will remain a slave to the market economy and capitalist society.

Aloha Aina is a belief system that will benefit the people of today and future generations.

Without land, there is no base for the basics of life. MTW

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In Defense of Radicalism Or, the unhealthy American obsession with moderation Massachusetts Senator John Kerry is perceived as the most electable Democrat because he seems more moderate than his rivals. That worries Republicans. “Bush’s strategists,” reports USA Today, “want to negate Kerry’s self-portrait of a moderate.”

Democrat or Republican, rich or poor, black or white, Americans tend to think of themselves as culturally and politically centrist. In a survey conducted every year since the end of Vietnam, the Harris Poll consistently finds that more Americans call themselves “moderate” than liberal or conservative.

The 2004 campaign is shaping up as a clash of the more-moderate-than-thous.

Machiavellian consultant Dick Morris is urging GOP honchos to invest some of their $200 million campaign war chest in Willie Horton-style attack ads depicting Kerry as “an ultra liberal extremist.” Kerry, hoping that his weaseling on Iraq and gay marriage will cause voters to perceive him as a moderate, accuses Bush of running “an extreme radical administration.”

forever require radical solutions. For instance, more than 100 million people are un- or underinsured. An overwhelming majority of Americans, including many conservatives, would happily pay higher taxes to solve the healthcare crisis. But John Kerry’s proposal would cover a mere 27 million citizens, a small fraction of the uninsured. And Bush’s plan is even more modest, covering only the 10 million workers who are unemployed.

Like Bill Clinton before him, Kerry approaches contentious issues with self-contradiction rather than bona fide moderation. Voting for the invasion on Iraq while standing against the funding of the occupation, for example, couples a radical right-wing stance—preemptive warfare—with an equally radical, liberal opposition to contemporary imperialism. These conflicting votes exacerbate two equally problematic positions without solving either.

Democrats assert that the current administration is the most radical in U.S. history.

They’re right, and their argument may persuade some swing voters come November. But the mere fact that Bush’s approach to foreign

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ELECTION, RADICAL SOLUTIONS WILL BE REQUIRED TO FIX BUSH’S RADICAL MISTAKES. In American politics style frequently trumps substance in the pursuit of a moderate image. “On paper [Kerry is] even more liberal than Dean,” a top GOP strategist complained to the pro-Bush New York Post. A few days earlier, however, the paper contributed to the opposite perception, running side-by-side photos that declared Kerry’s suits and shoes more “presidential” than the cheapy threads favored by the Vermont doctor.

Americans love the crassest forms of mass entertainment the human mind can conjure up: wrestling, football, midgetdating reality shows. Their spectator sports are extreme, yet they elect men who, though they acknowledge that those in power have messed everything up, pledge to change just about nothing. We believe that our presidents should be calm, reserved and, yeah, “moderate.”

Happy-go-lucky dudes like Dennis Kucinich and angry hell-raisers like Dean are fun for barhopping, fronting punk bands and flirting with during primary season, but we worry about what such wild cards might do in the Oval Office.

But issues like the long-term, seemingly intractable afflictions that seem to go on

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and domestic policy appears extreme doesn’t intrinsically make him dangerous.

The problem with the Bush Administration is that its focuses were completely wrongheaded: going after Afghanistan instead of Pakistan, Iraq instead of Saudi Arabia, hunting Al Qaeda instead of the Islamic Jihad leaders who carried out the attacks, spying on Americans instead of improving airline security, blaming cave-dwelling “evildoers” rather than reexamining longstanding U.S. relationships with hated puppet regimes. Their actions created new problems while those related to 911 remain unaddressed.

That’s the intrinsic problem with radicalism: When you’re wrong, you’re really wrong.

That’s why you have to be careful.

Should Kerry prevail in the general election, radical solutions will be required to fix Bush’s radical mistakes. To stem the bleeding of men and treasure in Iraq and Afghanistan, he’ll need to withdraw our forces as quickly as possible. To get the federal budget back on track, he’ll have to eliminate Bush’s tax cuts. To restore our international reputation, he’ll be forced to release the Guantánamo and other detainees, and apologize to the world for our post-9-11 excesses. Anything less—anything moderate— would be too radical to contemplate. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

9

Slew of Music They call it Gomega Fest, mostly because it’s presented

by Gomega, which is “Maui’s most versatile band.” It’s that time of the year when lots and lots of local musicians, from reggae and hip-hop to punk and metal, gather together to celebrate the diversity that makes Maui’s musical climate so rich and flavorful.

Consider it the underground equivalent of a mainland rock festival with the benefit of sampling several different bands and artists from various genres.

Basically, the term “slew of music” is how Gomega frontman and Festival co-organizer Kanoa Kukaua described the show.

The first night happened at the Kahului Ale House last Friday, Mar. 12. It was a packed house for the many performers.

Old hip-hop friends mingled with new punk musicians, reggae artists toasted with metal heads, and music once again united all of their differences.

The presence of alcohol perhaps played a small role.

The following is a breakdown of all the musicians and artists of this year’s three-day Gomega Fest 2004.

Noname is a Kihei band that has been together for over three years. Their unique island sound features a keyboardist, a vocalist, rhythm and lead guitars, a bassist and a drummer.

They make melodic, upbeat music with a reggae tinge. Bassheavy, with a synthesized horn section, they rock a cover of The Cure’s “Love Song” with Kanoa of Gomega on lead vocals.

Hip-hop artist Bubs is currently making a solo album, but can be heard along with some other great hip-hop artists on the local CD Dynamic Rhythm.

His style of rap is mainly dancehall, but he also uses a mix of hip-hop, reggae and R&B beats.

He has performed backup with Maui recording artists Malino, as well as hip-hop artist Desmond D.

10

MARCH 18, 2004

Jacob Dela Nux (lead vocals, drums), Saralea Gamiao (lead vocals, keyboards), Ryan Tanaka (vocals, lead guitar), John Palpallatoc (vocals, bass), Corey Apo (vocals, ukulele) and Brian Cabatu (vocals, guitar, ukulele) round out the full sound of Cool Rush. Their easy-breezin’ island reggae originals are definite crowd pleasers and are most apparent on their debut CD With You. Desmond D’s hip-hop performance is a blend of diverse beats and a smooth, mellow rap style. Originally from Africa, he has been on Maui since 1991, attending Baldwin High School. Since then, he has been performing and inspiring hip-hop artists on Maui, using mainly drum ‘n bass and reggae beats that aptly accent his chillin’ tone.

With an infectious happy-golucky vibe, Hev B Wyld is a hip-hop artist who describes his style as “poems to a beat” and has been performing since 1989. Currently working on a solo album, he is influenced by Pharrell, N*E*R*D, Gomega and everything from hip-hop to metal and thrash.

Gomega is a band that brings together funk, ska, reggae, punk, metal, jazz, hip-hop, R&B and soul. They play original songs, as well as covers from The Roots to Rage Against the Machine, to maybe even Iz, if they are so inclined.

If Gomega is Maui’s most versatile band, then Demune is Maui’s most versatile underground hip-hop artist. His performance is fresh and unique freestyle, with intelligent lyrics and solid backbeats, making “personal, not commercial” hiphop. His main influences include The Roots, Freestyle Fellowship, Pharcyde, DJ Shadow, Living Legends and Desmond D. Another prolific hip-hop artist in the mix is The Mole, who has an album with Demune whimsically titled The Attack of the Zombie King & His Hungry

COVER STORY

By Samantha Campos

PHOTO: SEAN M. HOWER

Gomega Fest 2004

Zombie Horde That Wants to Eat Your Brains! His costumecreative stage antics are always entertaining, edgy and unforgettable. Be sure to check out his many musical projects on www.motionrecordings.com, as well as his new solo album Whirlwind World.

According to lead vocalist Travis Mena, What About Joe is “kinda punk-ish” but more rock. They have a couple of original songs, but play mainly hard rock/rap fusion covers of bands like 311 and Rage Against the Machine. “Just a group of friends who play together,” they are likely to open their set with a slow punk-rock medley of Vanilla Ice’s “Ice Ice Baby” and Skee-lo’s “I Wish (I Was a Little Bit Taller)” with maybe a little of Tag Team’s “Whoomp There It Is” thrown in!

Khrinj is an upcountry metal band of four friends—

Cayce Almason (vocals, rhythm guitar), John Meyer (lead guitar), Ian Horneman (bass guitar) and Hans Schopen (drums)—who have been playing together for six years. Voted Maui’s best hard rock/punk/metal band, their second CD of original music, Ruin, will come out in May. Pay special attention to their guest vocalist, goth goddess Char, who will offer her ethereal, operatic pipes as a striking contrast to Khrinj’s dark wrath. But don’t worry—they assured me those charges involving the weasels in Utah are “trumped up” and their lawyer is confident of complete exoneration.

If you take a bunch of Hawaiian immersion school alumni and give them a purpose and instruments, added with Uncle Moses’ love and patience, you get Kahele. Still sort of a young band, Kahele—which

means “to go”—refreshingly uses a new island style to perpetuate the traditions of the Hawaiian language.

Hip-hop artist Terms None may be new to Maui but his skill in MC battling is remarkable.

You may want to bring a pocket dictionary to keep up with his lyrics, but he also provides the fierce beats that will rock your body. Check out his catchy rap, “Terminally Ill” and his upcoming album, Terms & Conditions.

“Back in the day, if you seen braddah Kaps (Kapali) and Albs (Albert) jamming in Lahaina,” said Kanoa from Gomega, “it was like the kela mea wifa!”

Lahaina Grown is sweet and always fresh, spreading the positive message of love to all with their island reggae music.

“They also support the Hawaiian Sovereignty movement,” said Kanoa. “Imua Lahaina Grown!”

Rubbahbanz is a band that will be featured only at the Gomega Fest showing at the Breakwater in Lahaina.

Sporadic, sensational and sweaty best describes Sean “Dino” Lonzaga, the band’s lively front man. Dino goes everywhere for musical influences, from Hawaiian to rap, hard to soft—whatever and wherever, Dino will be there dancing his ass off.

Rubbahbanz was built to showcase his energy. This is good ole Hawaiian hardcore.

DL4 is an up and coming hiphop artist only performing the Lahaina show on Mar. 20. He’ll entertain you with some unusual sounds and trippy hip-hop.

The ever-elusive hard rock band from Lahaina, Zero Tolerance, will be performing original metal-heavy songs from their new CD, Trample the Weak, Hurdle the Dead, to

be released in April. Sean Quick (vocals), Jaxon Fuqua (lead guitar), Shawn Brewer (bass guitar) and Vinnie Finazzo (drums) have been mustering up some musical angst to be unleashed upon the masses, so be sure to catch them and their big flag before they hit the road to tour on Oahu and the mainland.

The underground hip-hop artists of Amphibeus Tung will be making their presence known on stage, breaking down the beats with their positive vibe and street-conscious raps. Check their one night performance at Gomega Fest’s Breakwater gig on Saturday, Mar. 20.

The only DJ on the lineup, but so good they didn’t need another, DJ Platelunch will be showing Lahaina his skill on the turntable this Saturday. He is also part of “The Cafeteria”— the musically creative household of Demune, Body Holliday, Terms None and The Mole—which consistently produces orgasmic beats for your listening pleasure.

Body Holliday will be doing some eclectic indie rock.

Body Holliday is actually a solo artist named Kristian, but it’s

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also the name of his live band, which features Demune on drums and Dirty Dish on lead guitar. He insists that his eclectic music is a result of his “fucked up” childhood. “My dad was a heroin addict and my mom is a classical pianist,” he said. “And we lived in the Pacific Northwest.”

Hip-hop solo artist Lanika has played with Maui’s most Friday-night-at-Longhi’s, dance-worthy band Crazy

Gomega Fest 2004 will feature many of these great artists this Saturday, March 20, 9 p.m. at the Breakwater in Lahaina, as well as next Saturday, March 27, 9 p.m. at Casanova in Makawao. Tickets are $7 in advance at Maui Tropix, or $12 (Breakwater) and $15 (Casanova) at the door. MTW

PHOTO: SEAN M. HOWER LETTERS

Fingers, and you can catch her as well this Saturday.

Jah Radio features smooth island and reggae sounds.

They’re young but have fun playing the roots of the island.

Their Gomega Fest performance will be Saturday, March 27, at Casanova.

With a new CD out and a song on the Divers DVD soundtrack, Assault Squad Riders have had an exciting year. They also have a music video on the DVD and have been busy spreading their love for hip-hop everywhere they can.

State of Shock is a reggae band that has been around for a long time. A real long time. So long that no one really knows when they started. Okay, so someone knows when they started, but I don’t really feel like calling them right now. Anyway, they’re playing mostly private parties upcountry. Their backyard style of reggae and island music is invigorating and their public appearances highly anticipated.

If you like old-school skapunk, then you’ll love Left for Dead. “They are nothing like that pop-punk crap you hear on the radio,” said a recent fan.

“They’re the real shit!” He also explained that these guys are a “Balls to the wall, chug a lug, kiss a rat’s ass” punk band.

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20+ Shops & Boutiques • 4 Oceanfront Restaurants • Polynesian Canoe Exhibits www.lahainashops.com • www.lahainarestaurants.com.

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MARCH 18, 2004

11

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY MARNIE MASUDA

How to Be a Superstar Nothing says loving like something from Dish

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

Where the magic happens You know there’s a chance your cooking might suck when your always-voracious toddler takes one bite of your homemade lentil casserole and proclaims himself “pau!” So you remind him there’s no dessert—chocolate ice cream, his favorite—until he eats his “grow food.”

“That’s okay, mommy,” he says, looking up. “I don’t really need dessert.”

Later your squeeze calls from work and you tell him you’re about to throw something in the crock-pot.

“You work so hard, honey,” he says, suddenly all mushy. “Why don’t you take a break tonight. I’ve been craving Minit

Stop musubis all day, anyway.”

It’s a sad state of affairs. But then your friend invites you to dinner. She serves this amazing mahi with mango sauce and no-one— not your ungrateful kids or your overly-magnanimous mate—mutters “pau.” You hate her.

You hate them all. But you smile in that 1950s housewife way of yours and croon “Oh, girlfriend! I must get your recipe!”

She winks. She takes your hand, leads you into her freakishly spotless-kitchen and whispers three life-altering words.

“It’s Dish, darling.”

It seems everyone’s heading to Dish these days. The concept is simple. Every month, those Dish darlings Stephani Smith (the owner) and

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MARCH 18, 2004

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Allie McMillan (the manager) decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen during a single two-hour session. You call them in advance, tell them your dozen choices, then show up during your scheduled time.

There you’ll find all the shopping and chopping have been done for you and some lively tunes going so you shake it a little while you simply assemble and blend at each station in the immaculate space, following carefullycomposed recipes. You throw the dirty dishes in a bin and Allie whisks them away. She also cleans up your mess as you saunter off to the next workstation. You don’t hate anyone, not even your own lazy self. After all, you’re doing

the cooking—sort-of.

If you had the pleasure of visiting Dish this month, you may be dining this very evening on a spicy blackened ahi with soy mustard sauce.

Tomorrow it might be, say, the brie and basil chicken medallions or lemon pepper crusted steak with crisp green beans.

Perhaps you’re more of a populist at heart, your style a bit more down home—there’s a hearty beef stew for you, sir, and an entire honey mustard ham. Down, boy.

Stephani and Allie have been best friends since their teen culinary-goddess years at Seabury Hall. Steph first read about the “prepare-your-own” concept in Working Mother a few years back. Intrigued, she played around with the idea, tweaked it and improved it, then brought her pal in on the deal. Last November, Dish made its debut on Maui. Let’s just say a lot of freezers have been a lot fuller since.

Dish offers a couple of vegetarian options every month and you can request tofu substitutions on any menu item. Steph and Allie offer the freshest local fish from Valley Isle Seafood as well as natural, hormone and antibiotic-free Upcountry beef and organic ingredients whenever possible.

If you’ve tried planning, purchasing and preparing 12 really high quality meals lately, you know how expensive and labor-intensive the process can be. It’s enough to send even the most health-conscious foodie screaming through the Burger King drive-thru and supersizing it.

Tragic.

But one session at Dish will run you $199.

You’ll walk out the door with 12 yummy dinners for five people or so. If you don’t have two hours to spare, you can purchase a punch card for $250. Steph and Allie will assemble your meals and have them ready for pick up. You just have to call a day ahead and let them know what you want, then swing by Dish after work and walk in your own front door like the superstar you are.

Dish is located at 150 Hana Highway in Kahului next to 24 Hour Fitness. Sessions available Wed.-Sat. Call 877-1414. Private group sessions are available. MTW

Paia

Fish Market Restaurant

Tides &times Tide-times set for Honolulu - adjust as follows: Kahului - 1hr 41min. Hana - 1hr 23 min.

Makena - 0hr 32min. Kihei/Ma`alaea - 0hr 22 min. Lahaina - 0hr 40 min.

18 Sun R 6:37A Thur Sun S 6:42P

H 2:04A +2.0 L 9:30A -0.1

H 3:04P +1.0 L 8:35A -0.1

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Sun R 6:36A Fri Sun S 6:42P

H 3:15A +1.9 L 9:54A -0.2

H 3:42P +1.2 L 9:22A -0.1

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Sun R 6:35A Sat Sun S 6:43P

H 3:47A +1.8 L 10:16A -0.2

H 4:18P +1.4 L 10:08A +0.0

21 Sun R 6:34A Sun Sun S 6:43P

H 4:17A +1.6 L 10:37A -0.2

H 4:54P +1.5 L 10:54A +0.1

22 Sun R 6:33A Mon Sun S 6:43P

H 4:45A +1.4 L 10:58A -0.1

H 5:31P +1.6 L 11:44A +0.2

23 Sun R 6:32A Tue Sun S 6:44P

H 5:13A +1.2 L 11:18A -0.1

H 6:09P +1.7

24 Sun R 6:31A Wed Sun S 6:44P

L 12:39A +0.3 L 11:39A +0.0 H 5:408A +0.9 H 6:51P +1.7

100 HANA HIGHWAY, PAIA 579-8030

DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with sports and games all around. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave. 877–9001 Aloha Grill - Wide assortment of burgers including veggie styles, plus all the extras. Dairy Road Marketplace. 893–0263 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Plus, a large variety of tapioca. 270 Dairy Rd. 877-2400 Bangkok Cuisine - Casual setting featuring exceptional Thai food with plenty of crisp vegetables and fresh seafood. Lunch, dinner, or takeout. 395 Dairy Road, Unit F. 893-0026 Biwon Restaurant - Fresh and flavorful, authentic Korean food. Open 10 a.m. to 10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main 244-7788 Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Open Monday through Saturday. 134 W Kamehameha Ave. 877-3055 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken katsu. Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kihei. 425 Koloa St. 871-7782 Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant Excellent service and fair prices with dishes like Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein, Sweet and Sour Pork, and Honey Walnut Prawns. Maui Mall 893-1628 Dish - The concept is simple. Every month, the owner and manager decide on a different “menu” of 14 entrees, of which you may select 12 to assemble in their kitchen, Sessions available Wed.-Sat. 150 Hana Highway in Kahului next to 24 Hour Fitness. 877-1414.

Dunes Restaurant - Adventuresome revisions of local and American breakfast, lunch and dinner favorites. Maui Lani Golf Course. 877–7461 Fiesta Time - Quality Mexican taqueria. Order ala carte or combo specials with the freshest ingredients. 1132C Lower Main. 249-8463 Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar Breakfast, lunch and dinner featuring modestly

priced Japanese and Local cuisine. Kahului Shopping Center. 871–6977 Manaña Garage - Latin American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Try the Chicken Tortilla Epozote, vegetarian enchiladas and paella. Cool, quaint bar with margaritas aplenty. 33 Lono St., Ste 150. 873–0220 Maui Coffee Roasters - Ono grinds and freshly roasted coffee in a fun and casual atmosphere makes this the place to “take five.” 444 Hana Hwy. 877–CUPS Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Features range from Shabu Shabu (tons of meat) to sushi and Japanese. Call for buffet schedule. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului. 877-0051 Mike’s Restaurant - Authentic Chinese cooking and ono local grinds. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

Also offer catering services. 1900 Main St., Wailuku.

244-7888 Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from the Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas ala carte. Casual dining, various piñatas available too. 395 Dairy Rd. 877–8707 Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunch with a Southern twist.

1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku. 244-4049 or 244-6159 Ruby’s - Walk down memory lane at this fabulous ‘50s cafe. Quintessential American dining morning to night.

Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 248-7829 Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 2119 Vineyard 244-1567 Saigon Cafe - Wailuku’s hidden secret! Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 1792 Main 243-9560 Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites including Loco Moco and Shoyu Chicken. 97 Wakea Ave. 877-0121 Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Specialty cakes and desserts, breads and pastries, with sandwiches, salads and soups for lunch. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. Mon-Sat. 1740 Kaahumanu Ave. 243-2243 Tasty Crust - Local style cuisine for breakfast (try their famous hotcakes!), lunch and dinner. Serving Maui since 1944. 1770 Mill 244-0845 Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - A Hong Kong style Chinese seafood restaurant. They have over 100 menu

choices at reasonable prices. Buffet style lunch takeout, as well as sit down dining. 1088 Lower Main St. 242-4371 Tokyo Tei - Lunch and dinner featuring teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, datsu, saimin and more. 1063 E. Lower Main St. 242-9630 Wei Wei BBQ and Noodle House - Very affordable Chinese cuisine, counter-service, delicious noodle dishes. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku 242-7928 Wow-Wee Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, great sandwiches and soups.

Also featuring a Hawaiian menu with kava kava and an oxygen bar. 333 Dairy Rd. 871-1414 <www.mauiwowwee.com>

SOUTH MAUI Antonio’s - Homemade Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere, extensive wine list and friendly service.

1215 S. Kihei Rd. 875-8800 Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list at reasonable prices. Open MonSat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0133 Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Affordable breakfast, lunch and dinner, burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods, deli sandwiches, wraps. Dinners from $12.95, breakfast from $3.95. Open 7 a.m.-8 p.m. MonSat; 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Sun. 362 Hukulii Pl. (off Ohukai, south of Tesoro gas station), Kihei. 874-8600 BadaBing! - Homey Italian haven, award-winning thin crust pizzas, veal, calamari or chicken picatta. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 875–0811 Big Wave Cafe - Small cafe serving Pacific Rim cuisine, including lobster and sweet corn fritter with furikake tartar sauce, and coconut shrimp with fruit salsa and ginger lilikoi sauce. Open 7:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 1215 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8688 Bistro Molokini - Blend of California and island cuisine, lunch and dinner. Poolside. Grand Wailea. 8751234 Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Affordably priced Mediterranean cuisine. Open for dinner, pupus served until 1 a.m. Live entertainment and dancing 10 p.m. ‘til 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299

Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks and sandwiches; everything from pizza to sushi. Eat outdoors overlooking the Ma’alaea Fishing Fleet or hang out in the classy atmosphere of the bar. Open for lunch and dinner. Lower level of Ma’alaea Harbor Village. 244-8844 Caffe Ciao - Italian Cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. Open for Lunch and dinner. Dine outdoors poolside. The Fairmont Kea Lani. 875-4100 Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist; extensive wine list. Commanding ocean views from every table. Wailea Diamond Resort. 879–2224 Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799 Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food.

Plate lunches, steak plates and amazing chicken catsu.

Very casual; sit and eat or get your food to go. Also have a location in Kahului. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782 Dick’s Place - Incredible all-you-can-eat food specials, free pool playing with purchase. Eight pool tables. 2463 S. Kihei Rd. 874–8869 Fernando’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei. 879-9952 Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar, outdoor kiawe-wood-burning oven, allday lunches and cucina rustica dinners. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000.

Five Palms Beach Grill - Local produce and fish featured in Pacific Rim cuisine. 2960 S. Kihei Rd. 879–2607 Harry’s Sushi Bar - Japanese cuisine with fresh & delicious sushi, open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Drive, Wailea 879-7677 Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads, appetizers and “Food for Gringos,” too! Located next to Hapa’s Nightclub. Open 5pm to 2am Mon.-Sat. Lipoa St. 891-MEXI Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900 Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos, including choice of vegetarian, mahi mahi, ono, shrimp, chicken or steak. Impressive salsa bar and the taco salads are da bomb! Also serves beer, margaritas, sangria, mojitos

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13

DININGLISTINGS and mai tais. 1280 So. Kihei Rd. 874-TACO Joy’s Place - “Smart eating” featuring organic foods which are low fat, low salt and wheat free.

Open Monday through Saturday, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

1993 So. Kihei Rd. 879-9258 Kai Ku Ono - A tapas-style menu, where everything is ala carte, special late night menu and sushi. Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner with bar and lounge area. 2511 S. Kihei Rd. 875–1007 Kihei Caffe - Affordable breakfast & lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-2230 Life’s a Beach - Food and drinks in a fun atmosphere. Best Mex, nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahimahi are just some of the specialties.

1913 S. Kihei Rd. 891–8010 Lobster Cove - Seafood, steak, lobster at its best in a relaxed and casual atmosphere. Open 5pm to midnight daily. 100 Ike Dr. 879–7677 Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. Ask the server for details. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr. 891–8883 LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings and Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere with a great bar and huge deck. 1945 S. Kihei Rd. 879-9944 Ma`alaea Grill - Reasonably priced fine dining overlooking the harbor from the Maui Ocean Center. Ma`alaea Harbor Village Shops. 243–2206 Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and Continental cuisine. Open for dinner daily from 5pm. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli Street. 244-9028 Marco’s South Side Grill - A lavish and beautiful setting, compliments the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 1445 S. Kihei Rd. 874–4041 Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’Irish food, whiskey and beer.

Breakfast is served till 3PM. 100 Kaukahi St. Wailea 874–1131 Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish preparations. Kea Lani Hotel. 879–7224

Pita Paradise - Good food, fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro”, salads or wraps, with outdoor lanai. Kihei Kalama Village Center. 875–7679 Roy’s Kihei Bar & Grill - Mouth-watering Hawaiian fusion entrees in a spacious and upbeat atmosphere.

Open nightly from 5:30 to 10pm. Fine dining, reservations recommended. Piilani Shopping Center, 303 Piikea Ave. 891-1120 Sansei Restaurant - Japanese based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. Award winning cuisine, early bird and late night specials. 1881 S. Kihei Rd. 879–0004 Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. Private VIP table available. 2980 S. Kihei Road. 875–7555 Sausage Shack - Sausage sandwiches, even chicken or turkey, killer burgers and healthy vegetarian stuff. Sip a beer or margarita outside on the lanai. 1913 S. Kihei Rd. 874–6444 Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck, oceanfront dining at its finest! Four Seasons Resort Wailea. 874-8000 Spices - Steak, seafood & more! Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd. 891-8860 Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 1279 S. Kihei Rd. 874-3779 Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Relaxed island luxury in ambience and cuisine, with ocean views and live music. The Shops at Wailea. 875-9983

UPCOUNTRY Café 808 - Local diner style serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open daily from 6 a.m. to 8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd. 878-6874 Café Des Amis - Charming cafe with delicious sweet and savory crepes and Mediterranean fare. 42 Baldwin Ave. 579-6323 Café Mambo - International bistro featuring Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 30 Baldwin Ave. 579-8021 Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 2 Baldwin Ave., Paia.

579-8770 Casanova - First class service, first class food. Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 572–0220 Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hankering for some grub? Charley’s serves it hearty and healthy from breakfast to dinner and beyond. 142 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–9453.

Colleen’s - 1940’s style city bistro atmosphere serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery. 575-9211 Cow Country Cafe - Homestyle breakfast and lunch in a decidedly bovine atmosphere. 7 Aewa Pl., Pukalani.

572-2395 Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine including Summer Rolls, Spicy Lemongrass Soup and Soy Fish in Clay Pot. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia. 579-9144 Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. Chef Beverly Gannon’s awardwinning menu. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, Hali`imaile.

572–2666 Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-2661 Island Tacos - Taco stand with fresh, made-to-order fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily, from 11 a.m.-4 p.m.

810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere, with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining.

120 Hana Hwy, Pa`ia. 579–8844 Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual atmosphere, simple, affordable menu with fresh ingredients done right! 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. 575-5228 Kitada’s - Saimin for breakfast is a standard. Teri beef, hamburger steak, tofu and hekka all available. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572–7241 Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. Haleakala Highway. 878-1535 La Provence - French style bistro and patisserie with lanai, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Open Wednesday through Sunday, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd. 878-1313.

Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun. thru Thu. - 6 a.m. to midnight Fri. and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia.

579-6009 Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food including breakfast, plate lunch, chow fun and more! Catering available. 810 Kokomo Rd. 575-9363 Makawao Steak House - Classic and comfortable menu with daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. 572-8711 Mama’s Fish House - Fresh island fish with fresh local ingredients at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau. 579–8448 Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty mexican cuisine along with local favorites. 81 Makawao Ave/Pukalani Square 573-2998 Milagros Food Co. - South American cusine with an island influence. Best people watching spot in Pa`ia!

Extensive tequila menu and delicious daily specials. 3 Baldwin St. 579–8755 Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. Bakery provides wonderful goodies for the sweet tooth. 71 Baldwin Ave., Pa`ia.

579–9999 Pa`ia Fish Market - By serving fresh local Hawaiian fish daily, they are the hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 100 Hana Hwy., Pa`ia.

579–8030 Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas and more! 1202 Makawao Ave. 572-7808 SandBar & Grill - Casual contemporary island cuisine, featuring pupus, salads, kiawe grill burgers, sandwiches and lobster tacos. Full bar, happy hour everyday 4-6 p.m. Open daily from 11 a.m. to 2 a.m. 89 Hana Hwy., Paia 579-8742 Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku.

575-5320

WEST MAUI Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebabs, falafels and more! Ya’Sou! Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-4300

EVERY FRIDAY - 10PM - CLOSE

$

“SALSA NIGHT”

MAUI

COFFEE

W DJ MIGUEL MEXICAN $3 MARGARITAS, $2 CORONAS $1 TEQUILA SHOTS SALSA, MERENGE, MARIACHI, BANDA, HIP HOP AUTHENTIC MEXICAN FOOD

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ROASTERS

EVERY SUNDAY - 9PM - CLOSE

TRY OUR FOOD, NOT JUST OUR FRESH BEANS!

$2 AND $3 DRINK SPECIALS

SERVING BREAKFAST & LUNCH OPEN FROM 7AM-6PM M-F, 8AM-5PM SAT., 8AM-2:30PM SUN.

$

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ANY POUND OF REGULAR PRICED COFFEE with this coupon. expires 4/30/04

444 Hana Hwy. Kahului Corner of Dairy Rd. & Hana Hwy.

877–CUPS

WWW.HAWAIIANCOFFEE.COM

14

MARCH 18, 2004

DINING

50% OFF SUSHI

OPEN MIC NIGHT W/JIM (DEVILTOWN) BRING YOUR TALENT AND SHOW IT OFF! ROCK! REGGAE! CLASSIC! RAP! COMEDY! MAGIC! POETRY! STUPID HUMAN TRICKS! DANCING - NO COVER

AND DON’T FORGET WE DO LUNCH MON-FRI - 11AM - 4PM W SUSHI STARTING AT 11AM A/C COMFORT, LIQUOR

PARKING UP FRONT AFFORDABLE FOOD W/ CHEAP DRINKS

FISH & CHIPS + DRINK FOR THE PRICE OF ONE COME TODAY AND GIVE IT A TRY!

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG NIGHTLY SPECIALS MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $18.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $19.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $16.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6 $2.75 TROPICALS / WELLS $1.75 DRAFTS

AR DOLLL ES B DOU DAY ALL

FRESH $1.00 R S OY TTEERS SHOO

Fridays

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Wednesdays

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95

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2-5PM CIALS! E P S Y L NIGHT

2511 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei • 879-1954

DININGLISTINGS Chez Paul Resturant - Fine dinning French cusine, open for dinner only. Romantic setting. Call for reservations 820 Olowau Rd. 661-3843 China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan Cuisine on Maui, lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, Kahana Gateway Shopping Center. 669-5089 CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced “comfort foods” such as Reuben sandwiches, pot roast, freshly baked pies, and more! Open daily from 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2580 Kekaa Drive Fairway Shops, Kaanapali 6670968 Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Oceanview dining & Margarita bar serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189 Cool Cat Cafe - ‘50s-style diner with lanai. Delicious burgers and sandwiches, huge salads and classic fountain desserts. Lahaina Wharf Center, 667-0908 David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine dining in the inti-

YOUR KITCHEN AWAY FROM HOME

Rice Crispie Treats • Muffins • Brownies •

nightly. Overlooking Front Street, with ocean view.

730 Front St. 661-0700.

Blue Lagoon - Casual dining with local grinds and bar, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center. 661–8141 Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Fine Southern foods, with “Forrest Gump” movie memorabilia and logo wear in a lively, casual atmosphere. 889 Front St. 661–3111 Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. Delicious salads and Focaccia sandwiches. 839 Front St. 661–9491 Cafe Sauvage - Gourmet, hearty, satisfying fare in an unpretentious setting. Extensive beer and wine menu, after-dinner cordials, and desserts! 844 Front St. 661–7600 Canoes - Casual yet elegant dining serving a combination of island-inspired contemporary and traditional cuisine.1450 Front St. 661–0937

2 Baldwin Avenue Mon-Sat 7am-5pm Sunday 8:30am-2:30pm 579-8770

• Cookies • Lindsay Cake • Wedding Cakes

The Best Meal You’ll Have on Maui!

HAPPY HOUR EVERY DAY! from 12 to 3pm and 9 to11pm

Breakfast • Lunch •Dinner New Home of Maui’s Own Award Winning Chef

2 Pizza Slices $ 2 Bud or Coors Lt Draft Beers $ 250 Well Drinks $

A TASTE OF LAHAINA WINNER FOR 4 CONSECUTIVE YEARS “BEST VEGETARIAN” “BEST MEAT” “BEST APPETIZER” & “BEST SEAFOOD”

505 FRONT STREET, 661–8112

• Great Sandwiches • Mango Coffee Cake •

A&J Kitchen, Deli & Bakery - Choose from American, Hawaiian, Korean and Chinese cuisines. Bakery with cakes and cookies. Lahaina Center. 667–0623 The Bakery - Fresh baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina 667-9062 Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall 661-5566 Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and Japanese sushi. Delivery available, great daily specials. Open late with full bar, pool tables.

505 Front St. Lahaina 667-4051 Banyan Tree - “Eclectic Pacific Cuisine with a Hawaiian Twist.” Lodge atmosphere, ocean views. Ritz Carlton Kapalua. 669–6200 BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music

Birthday Cakes • Cinnamon Rolls • Scones

Mega Touch Games, Pool Table, Jukebox

Raul Bermudez Drop In On the Big Wave Cafe or Call for Take Out

891-8688

1215 S. Kihei Rd Kihei (Long’s Shopping Center)

If you or someone you know likes to eat food, this issue is for you.

THE

food issue 2004

Since the dawn of the time, Man has looked to food when he got hungry.

For a long time, Man only ate food that grew in the ground or on trees.

Then he learned how to hunt food that had fur and ran around and snarled and bled a lot when it died.

Then Man revolutionized food by inventing the “plate.” This made it possible for Man to dine in fancyschmancy restaurants, rather than the cold, cold ground. The world hasn’t been the same since. This is our celebration of tasty, delicious, mouthwatering food. It will make you laugh.

It will make you cry. It will make you hungry. Food: It’s what’s for dinner.

Advertising Deadline: March 18th Publishes: March 25th

LETTERS

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MARCH 18, 2004

15

DININGLISTINGS mate dining room on the ground floor of the Lahaina Inn building. 127 Lahainaluna. 667–5117 Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, pupus, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapiilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266 Erik’s Seafood & Sushi - Fresh seafood and sushi - great steamers! Open nightly. 843 Wainee St., Lahaina 662-8780 Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta from $6-$25. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front Street, 661-8112.

Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere, beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapiilani Rd, 669-5621.

Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. Rich, flavorful yet light foods await your taste buds. 174 Lahainaluna. 661–8939 Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italiain dining located in Kaanapali Lahaina. Open for dinner 2291 Kaanapali Prkwy 661-3160 Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill, featuring steak, seafood and ambience.

Also, late-night menu served until 1:30 a.m.!

4405 Honoapiilani Hwy. 669-3474 Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia.

Live music and DJ dancing weekly. Love All— Serve All. 900 Front St. 667–7400 Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. Breakfast, lunch and dinner. 505 Front St., Lahaina 661-8810 House of Saimin - Ono homemade Saimin, chicken sticks, and Haupia pie are just some of the local favorites here.Old Lahaina Center.

667–7572 Hula Grill - Barefoot Bar and beachside dining in a 1940s style. Menu is a seafood lover’s delight. Whaler’s Village. 667–6636 i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views, and indoor or outdoor dining. 505 Front St. 661–8422 Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe

with great food, eclectic atmosphere, loungey ambience. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. 667-0787 Jonny’s Burger Joint - Great burgers, as well as Mexican food, salads and fried items, served until midnight, with bar and pool table! 2395 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kaanapali. 661-4500 Kahuna Kabob - Healthy food, low prices! Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs, will deliver. Lahaina Marketplace. 661–9999 Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib, and their famous Hula Pie, oceanside dining. Live entertainment entertainment. 845 Front St. 661–4811 Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar, featuring teppanyaki cooking and fabulous sushi. Dinner nightly from 5:30-10 p.m., Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 DickensonSt., Lahaina 667-5555 Lahaina Coolers - Off the beaten path “surf bistro”. Good food, good quality, late night menu. 80 Dickenson St., Lahaina 661–7082 Lahaina Fish Co. - Chef’s Signature Pacific Rim Specialties prepared with fresh island fish, and seafood, dine on the oceanside lanai. 831 Front St. 661–3472 Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway. 661-4495 Lemongrass - Serving ala carte to the seven course traditional Vietnamese dinner. Reasonably priced and full of flavor. 930 Waine`e St., Lahaina 667–6888 Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining, freshest ingredients, pasta, seafood and steaks. Dancing upstairs on Friday nights. 888 Front St. 667–2288 Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, cole slaw, and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza. 665–6262 Moose McGillicuddy’s - Great value, large portions, all you can eat specials and merry atmosphere, large bar. 844 Front St. 667–7758 Nachos Grande - Fresh mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too! Honokowai Marketplace. 662–0890 Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Sushi rolls, sashimi, various Japanese appetizers, sandwiches and more.

Maui Marriott, Kaanapali 667–1200 ext. 51

Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. The best lemon caper Mahi Mahi and Okinawan potato tempura ever! Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai 665-0512 Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Family selections of healthy cuisine. Poolside. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali 667-2525 Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimpon-the-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion in a casual and lively atmosphere. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy, Kahana 665-1822 Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront award-winning contemporary Pacific cuisine. Live jazz on weekends. 505 Front St. 667-4341.

Pancho & Lefty’s - Delicious and spicy appetizers, traditional and specialty Mexican food. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina 661–4666 Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s inexpensive Italian bistro with homestyle pasta, pizza and salad. 180 Dickenson St., Suite 113. 661–6633 Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina 661-36362 Pita City Falafel - Greek, Kabobs, Shawarma Gyro’s, juice bar. open 7 days 658 Front St. #109 Wharf St., Lahaina 667-7757 Pizza Paradiso - Voted “Best Pizza on Maui” since 1998. Award winning pasta dishes, toss-to-order salads, big fat Greek gyros, homemade tiramisu and panna cotta. Dine in or take-out, lunch and dinner.

Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929; Whalers Village, 667-0333 Plantation House Restaurant - Hawaiian Mediterranean cuisine. Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua. 669-6299 Reilley’s - Known for their choice award winning beef. Gourmet steaks and seafood overlooking the Ka`anapali Golf Course’s 18th hole. 2290 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 667–7477 Roy’s Nicolina Restaurant - A quiet ambience suffuses this dining experience, enhanced by the Pacific Rim cuisine. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, upstairs.

669–5000

Rusty Harpoon Restaurant and Tavern Quench thirst, satiate hunger and watch sports.

Large parties welcome. Whalers Village. 661–3123 Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA Prime Steak, fine wines. Dinner served nightly. 900 Front St., Lahaina 661-8815 Sansei Seafood Restaurant and Sushi Bar D.K. Kodama has combined the highest quality sushi bar infused with Hawai`i’s cultural flavors. 115 Bay Drive #115., Kapalua. 669–6286 Sea House Restaurant - Looking out over incredible Napili Bay, dining is an amazing experience here under the direction of Chef Michael Gallagher. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy. 669–1500 Spats Trattoria - Step into old Northern Italy.

Tables are private, the Antipasti serves two. The Hyatt Regency. 667–4727 Sports Club Kahana Grill - Upscale, healthy restaurant inside Sports Club Kahana. Breakfast, lunch & take-out. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd. 669-3539 Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina 661-8558 Swan Court - One of the top ten romantic restaurants in the world, extensive list of contemporary fine wines. Hyatt Regency Maui. 667–4727 Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, Curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center. 667–2814 The Terrace Restaurant - Open from 6:30-11 a.m. serving breakfast only. Elegant dining, buffetstyle rotating menu ranging from “Beakfast on the Farm” to “Hawaiian Plantation-Style Breakfast.”

Special Mimosa and Bloody Mary menus. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua. 669-6200.

Tropica - Enjoy the fire and ice-themed restaurant where the cold food and drink bar is tucked between two “volcanoes.” The Westin Maui. 667–2525 Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine featuring fresh pasta and extensive wine list. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua 661-8466.

Whale’s Tale - All open-air lanai dining. Casual dining, specials, large portions. 672 Front St. 667–4044

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A&E 17 • Film 18-19 • This Week’s Picks 20 • The Grid 22, 24, 26 • Da Kine Calendar 21, 23, 25

ARTS&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Gomega Maui’s most versatile band

How did you get started playing music?

My grandma taught me ‘ukulele when I was 11 years old. She used to say, “No play too fast, eh Kanoa!” Seeing the older folks playing music really showed me that music is one of the most genuine things that anyone can have. It keeps them sane, even when they don’t have much.

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Who were your influences growing up?

My family—my uncle taught me how to be persistent in learning, to always try to nail it, try to get it down. Plus Bad Brains and Marvin Gaye.

Is there a person who changed the course of your life by something that they did or said to you?

[My girlfriend and band manager] Ipo. She said, “You should take yourself seriously.” I never really took myself seriously until then. Also, the Bible story of John the Baptist showed me that people can be mean to you, but you can still be faithful in what you do.

PHOTO: SEAN M.HOWER

Three years ago, musician Kanoa Kukaua wanted to do something different— to play something other than the Jahwaiian songs that were being aired to death on the radio and in clubs around Maui.

Since high school, he had played everything from country to punk rock, Hawaiian to hip-hop and metal with local bands like Sly Dog, Hoomau, Vince Esquire & Crossfire, and even Oahu bands Ten Feet, Hoonua and Fiji.

He started Gomega as lead singer and guitar player, but also plays drums, keyboards, bass and ‘ukulele. They quickly became the most versatile band on Maui.

Along with drummer Stacey Elaban, keyboardist Patrick Brown and bassist Owen Sarsona, Kukaua began recording their self-titled CD that was released last year.

They agreed to do old school hip-hop to hardcore rock covers at live shows only and released their CD with all original music, despite industry executives who believed that the covers were more marketable.

The band has since changed players.

Currently, their lineup includes Kukaua, Cody Matsuda on keyboards and guitar, Billy on bass, and either Hans Schopen (Khrinj) or Kai Katchadourian (Anesthesia) on drums.

This year marks the second annual Gomega Fest 2004, which is a showcase of Maui’s diverse under-represented musicians and artists, furthering Kukaua’s message that there is more to Maui musically than Don Ho. Naturally, we jumped at the chance to interrogate Kukaua.

What else do you do besides play music?

I work in the activities department at Hale Makua and also at Kula Hospital. I do crafts and arts, take the residents on community outings and help them with shopping, basically assisting them when the nurses can’t. I also teach guitar, bass and ‘ukulele to youth and try to get them to see music as being important.

What was the funniest thing that ever happened at a live show you played?

A bird shit on my arm—I felt something hot on my arm and was like, ‘oh no!’ And that show we played at a nudist colony—I had to close my eyes.

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

Kanoa Kukaua Who are you listening to these days?

Maktub—a band from Seattle—their lead singer, Reggie Watts, is phenomenal, they’re very versatile. Jazz, like old school Herbie Hancock. I just picked up the new Cradle of Faith album.

If you could create a dream band of famous musicians, who would they be?

Reggie Watts from Maktub on vocal, Bob James on keyboards, ?uestlove from The Roots on drums, Marcus Miller on bass, Dimebag Darrell—the guy from Pantera—on lead guitar.

DA KINE CALENDAR

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CLASSIFIEDS

What is the most important lesson you’ve learned in music?

Being real with myself and with the people around me. It’s the only way to get the most honest response when you’re playing music.

Whether it’s hip-hop or metal, if you’re not true to yourself and your culture, people will feel it.

Do you consider yourself the ringleader for Maui’s underground music scene?

That sounds pretty cool. Never really thought about that. A lot of artists are overlooked, so I’m just helping them get heard. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

17

form

DKL

DK Levin Company

Official information

For office use only

Phone number

Fax number

808 244 7770 808 244 7720

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY

Important!

We’re weird.

We actually LOVE doing taxes.

Okay. Not many people can say this, but we at the DK Levin Company actually ENJOY doing tax returns.

The forms. The worksheets. All that complex math and figures.

It may not make sense, but it’s true.

We’d like NOTHING better than to sit down with you and go over your W-2’s and 1099’s and other tax information.

Then you can go home and we’ll get down to the fun stuff. email: Web:

Mayhem In Montreal Serial killer thriller puts Jolie and Hawke together

In no time at all, you’ll have beautifully prepared returns, with every possible deduction and credit. The IRS will be happy, you'll be happy, and you may even discover something for yourself.

That you actually ENJOYED it too.

Call us today at 244-7770 for an appointment. You’ll be glad you did.

doug@dklevincompany.com www.dklevincompany.com

“WHO HAS

SAID A GREAT MEAL TO BE EXPENSIVE ”

Chef M a rk E llma n’s

No surprise here This run of the mill suspense thriller based on the novel by Michael Pye is adequately directed by D.J. Caruso (The Salton Sea) but holds too few shocks and even fewer surprises. When Montreal detectives call upon ace FBI profiler Illeana Scott (Angelina Jolie— The Bone Collector) to help solve their investigation into a string of serial killings, local artist John Costa (Ethan Hawke—Training Day) provides them with a sketch of the killer that promises to resolve the case. But all is not as it appears and Scott’s carnal attraction to Costa clouds her abilities to act on her exacting professional prudence. Gena Rowlands (Hope Floats) and Kiefer Sutherland (Freeway) add distinctive secondary characters that spice up the suspense.

Taking Lives

★★★★★

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MARCH 18, 2004

FILM

Before the opening credits roll, an eight-minute prologue sets up our killerto-be Martin Asher as an unassuming sociopath who takes over the lives of his victims like a hermit crab moving into a new shell. It’s a clever enough ploy and kicks the movie off with a jump-fromyour-chair visual climax. But the miscalculated use of a U2 song coupled with “Should I Stay Or Should I Go?” by The Clash contaminates the sequence’s otherwise tense mood.

Agent Scott (Jolie) is introduced lying in a grave dug by the Canadian serial killer 20-years after his first kill. She’s discovering clues that inform her about how the killer meticulously planned ahead for his victim’s demise, and that he wants to be

caught. It’s a sardonic way of meeting Jolie’s character and gives a shot of sly humor to the movie. Cut to obligatory police interrogation room where witness John Costa (Hawke) tells French inspectors (Tcheky Karyo and Olivier Martinez) that he observed the killer with his victim and how he attempted to save the dying man using CPR as the assailant fled. Agent Scott accepts Costa’s well-drawn sketch of the killer and begins to set a trap for a suspect resembling Kiefer Sutherland.

The meat of the film is standard serial killer fare with a few flourishes of gruesome discovery ala Seven combined with chase scenes that set up the character turnarounds that audiences accustomed to the genre have come to expect. However, the big surprise in the film is Gena Rowlands’ performance as the killer’s mother. Rowlands, who was a well-established actress even before her tour de force work with husband/director John Cassavetes, brings humor and foreboding that connects the audience to one of the film’s pivotal scenes. The depth and charisma that Rowlands provides is one of the film’s greatest pleasures next to Kiefer Sutherland’s exquisitely modulated effort as suspect number one.

Taking Lives makes good use of its Montreal locations and musical score by the ubiquitous Philip Glass, but misses the high watermark set by David Fincher’s Seven (1995). Nevertheless, the attraction between Hawke and Jolie is palpable and the movie is an entertaining joyride that jockeys the audience between apprehension and surprise. So even though the movie feels pieced together in places and most audiences will know right off who the killer is, there is still plenty to admire along the way to the film’s certain conclusion.

Rated R. 100 mins. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CAFÉ & CINEMA Wednesday, March 24 The Company 5 & 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater Praised as "A Total Joy -- Stunning" by the NY Times and "An Absorbing and Kinetic Celebration of Dance and Dancers" by the Chicago Tribune, this latest ensemble piece from Academy Award winning director Robert Altman (Gosford Park and The Player) is an intense and revealing exploration of the dancer's life at the highest levels of the art. Starring Neve Campbell, James Franco and Malcolm McDowell and featuring gloriously explosive and elegant performances by and behind-the-curtain insights from the dancers of the world renowned Joffrey Ballet. Rated PG-13.

103 min. Tickets: $8 w/MFF passport. $10 single.

of Aileen Wuornos (CharlizeTheron), who was executed in Florida for murdering seven men in the ‘80s. She had a cruel childhood plagued by abuse and drugs and by the age of 13, became a prostitute servicing the desires of semi-truck drivers, while maintaining a lesbian relationship with Selby (Christina Ricci).

Mystic River - (R) - Drama - A taut, multi-layered story of friendship, family and innocence lost too soon that involves a group of childhood friends bound by tragedy that are reunited 25 years later by another tragic event involving the murder of one of their daughters. Stars Sean Penn, Kevin Bacon, Laurence Fishburne, Clint Eastwood, Tim Robbins, Laura Linney and Marcia Gay Harden.

Passion of the Christ - (R) - Drama - This is the story about the last 12 hours in the life of Jesus Christ (James Caviezel), on the day of his crucifixion in Jerusalem. The film's script is based on several books, including the diaries of St. Anne Catherine Emmerich (1774-1824) as collected in the book, The Dolorous Passion of Our Lord Jesus Christ, and the New Testament books of John, Luke, Mark and Matthew.

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theater, 572-3456 The Company - PG13 - Wed 5,7:30

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

c i s u M e Liv asts!

BroadWecek Live

Every i’s Premier au From M ic Venues Mus

Every Monday Night!

New This Week Dawn of the Dead - (R) - Horror - The United States is turned upside-down by a strange plague-like event in which millions of corpses walk the earth as blood-thirsty zombies and multiplying rapidly. A small group of survivors which include a nurse (Sarah Polley) and a police officer (Ving Rhames), try to find and protection within a massive shopping mall in Everett, WA. Taking lives - (R) - An FBI special agent profiler (Anglelina Jolie) becomes entangled in an unexpected romance as she struggles to solve a case with a serial murderer who assumes the lives and indenties of his victums. Also stars Ethan Hawke, Kiefer Sutherland, Olivier Martinez and Gena Rowlands.

Willie K

KA`AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka`ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Agent Cody Banks 2 - PG - Daily (1, 3:20), 5:35, 7:50, 10:05 Confessions of a Teenage Drama Queen - PG Daily (1:15, 3:15), 5:45, 7:45. 9:45 Passion Of The Christ - R - Daily (1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 10 Secret Window - PG13 - Daily (12:45,3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:45 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Daily (12:30,1:15, 2:50, 3:45), 5:10, 6, 7:30, 8:15, 9:50 Taking Lives - R - Fr -W (12:50, 3:05), 5::20, 7:40, 9::55

LIVE at

KUKUI MALL

Now Showing Agent Cody Banks 2: Destination london - (PG) - Action/Adventure - Agent Cody Banks (Frankie Muniz) returns as a rogue CIA agent (and Cody’s own trainer) has stolen a top secret mindcontrol device, and Cody has to go undercover in London to get it back.

Broken Lizard’s Club Dread - (R) - Comedy An alcohol (and other substances) swinging-singles-style island resort’s festivities are interrupted when a machete-wielding serial killer arrives. So it's up to the staff to try to at least hide the bloodshed before they lose all their business and their jobs.

Dirty Dancing 2: Havana Nights - (PG13) Romance - Schooled by her parents in the art of ballroom dancing, an American teenager (Rene Laven) finds herself drawn to a proud, strong waiter (January Jones) who is a brilliant dancer.

Meeting secretly in an out-of-the-way Havana nightclub, they practice their steps with sensual harmony that mirrors the passion between them and are unaware that the country club, along with streets of Havana itself, are about to erupt in revolutionary violence.

50 First Dates - (PG13) - Romantic/Comedy An aquarium veterinarian (Adam Sandler) in Hawaii falls in love with a young woman (Drew Barrymore) with a severe case of short-term memory loss, which means she never remembers meeting him, so he has to keep getting her to fall in love with him, over and over again.

Hidalgo - (PG13) - Action/Adventure - This epic adventure is based on a true story of the greatest long horse race ever run. In 1890, a wealthy Sheik (Omar Sharif) invited an American cowboy (Viggo Mortensen) and his horse to enter the greatest long horse race ever run, putting them against the world’s greatest Arabian horses and Bedouin riders, whom were determined to prevent the American from finishing the race. For the cowboy, the race not only becomes a matter of pride and honor, but a race for his very survival.

Lord of the Rings 3: The Return of the King - (PG13) - Adventure/Fantasy/Drama - The epic finale of J.R.R. Tolkien’s classic Lord of the Rings books.

Starring Viggo Mortensen, Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, John Rhys-Davies, Ian McKellan, Liv Tyler, Orlando Bloom, Cate Blanchett and more.

Monster - (R) - Thriller - Based on the true story

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Maui Mall, 249–2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Broken Lizard’s: Club Dread - R - Th only (4:15) 9:25 Dawn of the Dead - R - Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 2:45, 3:15, 5, 5:30), 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 2:45, 3:15), 5, 5:30, 7:15, 7:45, 9:30, 10 Dirty Dancing: Havana Nights - PG13 - Th (1:15, 1:30, 5:30) Fr, M-W (12:45, 2:50, 3, 5:15), 7:20, 7:45, 10, Sa-Su (12:45, 2:50, 3), 5:15, 7:20, 7:45, 10 50 First Dates - PG13 - Th (12:30, 1, 1:15, 2:50, 4, 4:15, 5:10, 7, 7:15, 7:30, 9:30, 9:45, 10, Fr, M-W (12:30, 1:15, 4:15, 5), 7:30, 9:30, 9:50), Sa-Su (12:30, 1:15), 4:15, 5, 7:30, 9:30, 9:50 Hidalgo - PG-13 - Th- Fr, M-W (1, 1:30, 4, 4:30), 7, 7:30, 10, Sa-Su (1, 1:30), 4, 4:30, 7, 7:30, 10 Lord Of The Rings 3 - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 4:30), 8:30, Sa-Su (12:30), 4:30, 8:30 Monster - R - Th-Fr, M-W (1:30, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 Mystic River - R - Th ( 1, 4), 7, 9:55, Fr, M-W (1, 4) 7, 10, Sa-Su (1), 4, 10 Spartan - R - Th (1:20, 4:20), 7:15, 9:45, Fr, M-W (1:15, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15) 4:15, 7:15, 9:45 You Got Served - PG13 - Th (12:30, 2:45, 5), 7:20, 9:40, Fr, M-W (12:30, 2:45, 5), 7:20, 9:40 (12:45, 3, 5:15), 7:40, 9:55, Sa-Su (12:45, 3), 5:15, 7:40, 9:55

Show Starts at 10pm

Every Friday Night! from

Sarah Polley in Dawn of the Dead Secret Window - (PG-13) - Thriller - Mort Rainey (Johnny Depp) is a writer just coming off of a difficult divorce with his ex-wife (Maria Bello) and finds himself being stalked at his remote lake house by a psychotic stranger (John Turturro), who claims Mort stole his best story idea.

Spartan - (R) - Thriller - Secret Agent Robert Scott (Val Kilmer) is paired with novice agent Curtis (Derek Luke) to find the president’s daughter (Kristen Bell), who is the victim of a kidnapping.

Starsky & Hutch - (PG-13) - Action/Comedy - In 1970, Bay City police detectives Hutch (Owen Wilson) and Starsky (Ben Stiller) always get the toughest cases from their uptight boss Captain Dobey, so they rely on the knowledable street informer, Huggy Bear (Snoop Dogg). This time, they meet again with someone from their first big case which involved a former college campus drug dealer (Vince Vaughn) who ventured on to become a white collar criminal.

Twisted - (R) - Thriller - A police officer (AshleyJudd), whose father was a serial killer, is investigating a murder and finds herself in the center of her own investigation when her past lovers start dying at a furious pace. Also starring Samuel L. Jackson and Andy Garcia.

You Got Served - (PG13) - Comedy - A pair of friends (Omari Grandberry and Jarell Houston) want to open their own hip-hop dance and recording studio, but in order to do that, they must first win a street dance competition against another group of street dancers to prove that they have what it takes.

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

LIVE

1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Hidalgo - PG13 - Th (1:15), 4:15, 7:45, Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:15, 7, 9:45, Su-W (1:15), 4:15, 7:45 Passion of the Christ - R - Th (1), 4:15, 7:30, Fr- Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:15, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30 Secret Window - PG13 - Th (1:30), 4:45, 8 , Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:15, 9:30, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 8 Starksy & Hutch - PG13 - Th (1:45), 5, 8:15, Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45,10, Su-W (1:45), 5, 8:15

FRONT STREET THEATERS 900 Front Street, 249–2222 Agent Cody Banks - PG - Th (4:30), 7:30, 9:50, Fr (4:45), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-W (1:45), 4:45, 7:30, 9:45 50 First Dates - PG13 - Th only (4:45), 7:30, 9:45 Hidalgo - PG13 - Th (4), 7, 9:45, Fr (4), 7, 9:45, SaW (1), 4, 7, 9:45 Taking Lives - R - Fr (4:30), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-W (1:15), 4:15, 7:15, 9:30 Starsky & Hutch - PG13 - Th (4:15), 7:15, 9:30, Fr (4:30), 7:30, 9:40, Sa-W (1:30) 4:30, 7:30, 9:40

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

in Lahaina

658 Front Street, 249–2222 Dawn Of The Dead - Fr (1:45, 4:15), 7:30, 9:55, Sa-W (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7:30, 9:55) Passion Of The Christ - R - Th-Fr (2, 4:30), 7, 9:30, SaW (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7, 9:30 Secret Window - PG13 - Th-Fr (1:30, 4), 7:15, 9:15, SaW (11, 1:30), 4, 7:15, 9:45 Twisted - R - Th only (1:45, 4:15) 7:30, 9:55

8

$ *

Check out their newest album “Island Girls” in stores now!

Show Starts at 10pm Heard from the Kona coast to Oahu’s North Shore.

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* with MFF passport (5 films - $40) • $10 - single tickets Phone: 572-3456 • www.mauifilmfestival.com

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

19

Reggae, Polynesian Style Thursday (TONIGHT!), at Hapa’s

ay d s r u 8 h 1 T 3/ eus s s y d O DJ ounge Sunn L

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20

MARCH 18, 2004

Internationally acclaimed jazz/funk trio Living Daylights “mix the fun of funk and soul-jazz grooves with the edgy punch and teeth of the avant-garde.”

They were chosen as a “Rising Star Electric Group” in Downbeat Magazine last year and each musician individually brings influence from other projects into the mix as well. Jessica Lurie (alto and tenor sax) is touring with her own ensemble, as well as The Tiptons. Arne Livingston (electric bass) is touring with Steve Kimock. Dale Fanning (drums) is playing in Lushus with Bernie Worrel (P-Funk) and Reggie Watts (Maktub), as well as with his Kaleidoscope Workshop and Magdalen Hsu-Li. As the Living Daylights, they have also played with John Scofield, Phish, Soul Live, Wayne Shorter, Maceo Parker and others. They just finished their European and west coast tour in December and are planning a new recording for spring of this year. Check out their website at www.livingdaylights.com for updates.

s i h t

r $3 cove

y 2 Monayd& a e Jazz iv 2 L 3/ Martini Mond Martini Menu!

Friday, 9:45 p.m. at Casanova; Saturday, 10 p.m. at Mulligan’s

Like the raft that introduced new scientific possibilities, Kontiki introduces a fresh fusion of island reggae and tribal Polynesian rhythms. The result is crossover-reggae with a Polynesian perspective and a positive message celebrating triumph, hope, faith and endurance in the quest for a better life. Kontiki has been playing at venues throughout the West and Hawaii since 1990. They started playing at Polynesian festivals in Southern California and quickly developed a strong following and became the band of choice for the Tahiti Fete, an annual international competition in San Jose, California. Since then Kontiki has gone on to play at Reggae by the Bay, and toured with Gregory Isaacs, Lucky Dube, Ras Michael and Daddy Uroy.

[WWW.PACIFICHAWAIIAN.COM]

8pm

SUN 8AM-2AM

DA KINE CALENDAR

week’s picks

by Sam Campos

Chi Acrobatics Friday and Saturday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC A fusion of acrobatics and martial arts billed as the new “cirque Chinoise,” Chi—A New Era in Acrobatics is a production that draws energy from the ancient art and science of its namesake’s life force. “Chi” has been practiced throughout Asia forever. Combining gymnasts, dancers, tumblers and jugglers with extreme athleticism, artistry and spirituality, a new era in balanced acrobatics is born. And hey, who can resist athletes in tights? There’s also a pre-show at 5:30 p.m. with food by A Saigon Café. Tickets are $10-35, kids get in for half price.

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

CHI—A New Era in Acrobatics - Friday. A fusion of acrobatics and martial arts, Chi is the new "Cirque Chinese", an inspired production enriched by enchanting music, stage design and spectacular lighting.

Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW 17th Annual Benefit Concert for Punana Leo O Maui - Saturday. Benefit for Punana Leo O Maui, Hawaiian Language Immersion Preschool. Music by Keali’i Reichel, ‘Ekolu, Sudden Rush and more. Along with, food and a silent and live auction. Tickets: $15 at gate, and $10 presale. 9 a.m. - sunset. Keopuolani Park Amphitheater. 244-5676

TICKETS ON SALE

Dashboard Confessional - March 26. Alternative Rock. Tickets: $20. 6 p.m., Pipeline Cafe, Oahu, 1-877750-4400.

Bombdiggity - March 27. Budwiser True Music presents the annual Reggae and Contemporary Hawaiian music. The entertainment line up is: Ho’onua, Ten Feet, Opihi Pickers, Zacc Kekona, Keahiwai and more!

Tickets: $10 advance, $15 thru Mar 19; $20 day of show, plus applicable fees. 7 p.m., A&B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

Sharon Isbin - March 29. Acclaimed for her extrodinary lyricism, technique and versatility, and a two time grammy award winner. She has been hailed as “the pre-eminent guitarist of Jazz, Latin American, and folk music of our time. Tickets: $28-$10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC. 242-SHOW Blink-182 - April show has been CANCELLED. For info, call 242-7469.

The Second City - April 29. Chicago’s legendary comedy theater. Tickets on sale Sat., Mar. 20. MACC, 242-7469.

Celebrate Lei Day With The Brothers Cazimero - May 2. Remarkable entertainers, the Brothers are known for their absolutely beautiful harmonies and acoustic stylings. The award-winning performers will be joined on stage by Kumu Hula Leina’ala Heine. Tickets: $35 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC 242-7469 .

EVENTS FRIDAY, MARCh 19 Maui Mall's Drum Festival - Fri, 7-8 p.m., Sat 1-5 p.m., at Maui Mall, Kahului. Discover the rich cultural heritage of the Islands during the annual drum festival.

Along with cultural exhibits. For info, call 872-4320.

SATURDAy, MARCh 20 5th Annual Monte Carlo Night - 5:30-11 p.m., at the Waikapu Country Club. This fundraiser will be consisting of live and silent auctions, dinner and no-host bar, music and dancing and Monte Carlo-style gaming.

For info, call 879-6935.

The Maui Family YMCA Yard Sale -- 9 a.m.-3 p.m., at 250 Kanaloa Avenue across from the War Memorial Stadium in the Y parking lot. This large yard sale will have children’s items, clothing, sporting goods, along with furniture. For info, call 242-9007.

Maui Food Bank presents: “Battle of the Sexes competition” - 10 a.m.-3 p.m. at Maui Mall, Kahului. Competiton between KPOA 93.5 and the Maui Food Bank. Join the fun while working together for the fight against hunger in Maui County. For info, call 877-4357.

SunDAy, MARCh 21 Whale Watch Fundraiser - 12:30-3 p.m. at the Pacific Whale Foundation, Ma’alaea Harbor. Come and join a special Whale watch on a deluxe 65 foot double deck Catamaran. Tickets: $25-$10. For info, call 244-

EH BRAH!

SKIRT

night THURS After 9pm

WEAR A SKIRT & GET $2 DRINKS!

Where the Locals “Hang Loose”

TALK IS CHEAP

SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

POOL TABLES LOUNGE TV’S

SPORTS BAR

505 FRONT STREET LAHAINA / 667-4051

Ka’anapali MARCH Live Music MADNESS 0 pm-1a 1 , y a d i m Fr

Eddie & Flipside Las Vegas Style Lounge Music

COLLEGE BASKETBALL’S

DIVISION 1 PLAYOFFS!

IN’ NOTH BUT NET!

WATCH IT HERE! 25 TV’S GIVES EVERYONE THE BEST SEAT IN THE HOUSE! LAHAINA’S S BEST HAPPY HOUR EVERYDAY 3-6 6PM

At the entrance to Ka’anapali Corner of Hwy & Ka’anapali Pkwy

For info call 661-3160 LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

21

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

thursday3/18

friday3/19

saturday3/20

sunday3/21

monday3/22 – wednesday3/24

DJ Boomshot, Disco, Funk, No cover, 10pm

Neto Peraza, Latin, No cover, 10pm

Kilohana, Hawaiian contemporary, No cover, 10pm

Closed

Mon - Curtiss Williams & Guest; Tue - Jay Molina & Gilbert Emata w/Vanessa Rodriguez; Wed - Soul Concepts w/Curtiss Williams; All shows 10pm-1am, No cover

Willie K, $10, 9:30 pm

Gomega Fest, 16 acts! $7adv/$15door, 9:30pm

Living Daylights $10, 9:45pm

Sudden Rush $15, 9:45pm

Wed - Ladies’ Night, $5, 9:45pm

Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Mon - Lawai’a, No cover, 10:30pm-12:30am

Salsa Night $5, 10pm

Tue - Twangers, No cover, 9pm

BREAKWATER

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2266

CASANOVA

Puritan No cover, 9:45pm

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT

Hot Apple Pie No cover, 8-11pm

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

142 Hana Hwy, Paia - 579-9453

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

ERIK’S SEAFOOD & SUSHI

Rockin’ Sushi w/ACE’s Radio Rehab, No cover, 10pm

843 Wainee St., Lahaina - 662-8780

GIOVANNA’S

Live Music $5, 10pm

2291 Kaanapali Prkwy, Lahaina 661-3160

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

Kontiki and Malino 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Open Mic Night, with Jim (Deviltown), 10pm

Sudden Rush 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Flava Zone

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

Swami Bebop No cover, 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

JAWZ TACOS

1279 S. Kihei Rd. Azeka II - 874-8226

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Da-Haw-Y-ans No cover, 9pm

36 Keala Place, Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Evolution No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roback Band No cover, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

DJ Aloe Vera, Classic House $5, 9pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9pm

El Nino, No cover, 7pm

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

The Carroll Brothers, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Mon-Wed - Da-Haw-Y-ans, No cover, 6pm

Mark Burnett No cover, 10pm-12am

Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, Karaoke w/Auntie Toddy Lilikoi, No cover, 9:30pm No cover, 9:30pm

LAHAINA COOLERS

Information not available

180 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661-7082

E E V I V E L I V L I L SIIC C C S U I US MU M M

PUPS RUNCH C 8 1 / R E 3 V O rs NO C Thu 9:30 ORM CIFIC ST A P E H T ER NO COV Fri 3/19 9:30 OBERTS ENNY R K IENRDS & FR Sat 3/20 E NO COV 9:30

THE HALE & BAND A V 1 A 2 Sun 3/ HOT LNO COVER 9:30 HT! EST NIG U G R 3 E 2 NO COV Tues 3/ 9:30 TICS TYMYS P O 4 2 ER / V NO CO Wed 3 9:30

HRC MAUI 900 Front St., Lahaina Info: 808.667.7400

SAT, MARCH 20TH

NO LIVE MUSIC MON, MARCH 22ND

REGGAE AT THE ROCK WITH

MARTY DREAD $5 COVER TH

SAT, MARCH 27

D.U.H. $5 COVER

HAPPY HOUR DAILY

HAPPY HOUR!

3pm - 6pm

3-6pm & 10pm-12am EXCEPT SPECIAL EVENTS

2411 S. Kihei Rd. 879-0602

MARCH 18, 2004

Gina Martinelli, No cover, 6pm Karaoke, No cover, 9:30pm

Ernest & Co., No cover, 10pm-12am

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

MON - Willie K; Tue - Fat Tuesday, w/Fat Joe, 10pm; WED - Aloha Wed MON - Marty Dread, Reggae, $5, 10pm

Closed for private party

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

22

Teen Night

DA KINE CALENDAR

h a r d r o c k . c o m

PUREVOLUME

DA KINECALENDAR 5744.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria – John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Benny Uyetake, Mon; Maurice Bega, Tue. All sets from 7:3010:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cafe O’Lei - Steve Argenti, Tue-Fri 5:30-9 p.m. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491.

Cheeseburger in Paradise – Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. and 8-11 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Evan Schulman, Thu; Mike “Pelon,” Fri; Zach Schmidt, Sat; Damien Awai, Mon; How Phat, Wed. All sets 6:30 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 6670908.

Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu and Fri; Kawiko Lum Ho, Sat; Ernest Pua’a, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Ernest Pua’a, Wed. All sets from 6:30-9:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum and Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and don, Brian & Damien, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Th; Ernest Pua’a and & Kawika Lynn; Fr; Kawika Lum and Da Ukulele Boyz, Sat; Kawika Lum and Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz – Live music with Tracey and Farzad, Wed and Fri, 6:30-9 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant – Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s – Sam Ahia, Wed thru Sun, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach – Crazy Fingers, Thu, 4-6 p.m.; JD & Mario, Fri, 3-6 p.m.; JD & Friends, Sat, 4-6 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Kawika Lum Ho, Wed, 4-6 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building J, Kaanapali, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pancho and Lefty’s Cantina & Restaurante Pianist Rene Alonzo & Friends play light rock, country and blues during happy hour on Thursday from 3-6 p.m. and this Saturday from 8-11 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, in the Wharf Cinema Center, 661-4666.

Pioneer Inn – Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu; 6-9pm Mon, Wed; Captain Billy Bones 6-8 pm; Tue; Ricardo Dioso 6-9 pm.,658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 6613636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Live music (grand piano) 6-9 p.m., Gene Argelle, Mon and Tue; Joel Gold, Wed; Thu, Mark Johnson, Fri. 2290 Kaanapali Parkway, Kaanapali, 667-7477.

Sea House Restaurant – Sun; Kapule Paoa 7 p.m., Mon, Fri, Sat; Kincade Basques 7-9 p.m. Tue; Polynesian dinner show 5:30 p.m., Wed,-Thu; 7-9 p.m.

Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 6691500.

Sir Wilfred’s at Whalers Villiage - Maui West Side Jazz, featuring some Maui’s greatest musicians, 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Lahaina, 6610202.

Whale’s Tale Bar & Grill - Eric Pietsch, Thu, Mon, ; Joe Bennett, Fri; Mario & Will, Sat; Anastasia & Niles, Sun. All sets from 6 to 9 p.m. 672 Front St., Lahaina, 6674044.

SOUTH MAUI Capische? – Mark Johnston; Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo Su, Tu, Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon.; all sets 7-10 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano),

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

Mon -Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Fri ,Tues , Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, Dinner & show $35, 8 p.m. - 10p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7-10 p.m., 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Pianist Angela Carr, Fri, 6-9 p.m.; guitarist Luis Diaz, Sat, 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Latin guitar w/ Luis Diaz, Wed-Fri; guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Sat; Brian Wittman Sun-Mon; Patrick Mayor, Tue All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI Mañana Garage – Neto & Friends, Thu and Fri, 6:30 p.m.; Fortunato’s Magic, Fri, 7 p.m.; Neto & Hot Salsa, Sat; Neto Peraza, Tue; Bobby & Tula, Wed, 6:30 p.m.

33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

FERNANDA PORTO “FERNANDA PORTO” Classically trained in Brazil’s top conservatory, Fernanda Porto combines the best of traditional Brazilian music, string sections and jazz with cutting edge electronica beats. The 14 songs range from mellow, jazzy bossa nova flavored tunes to dance floor packers. Porto’s voice is strong, feminine and alluring. A truly multitalented woman, she plays guitar, piano, handles the programming, and sings on all the tracks. In addition, Porto produced the whole album, achieving a super clean deeply layered work of art.

“Sambassim” is probably the best song. Its fast pace drum and bass meets samba can get anyone out on the dance floor. “Tudo de Bom” is a joyful, fun, laidback track, while “Outro Lugar Do Mundo” explores the harder side of drum and bass and tempers it with beautiful piano. Whether for chilling out or turning up the energy, Fernanda Porto is worth a listen. —Trama 2002 [JOE GATTO]

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Mon, Mark Johnston w/ Dustin, ambient jazz; 120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Mark Johnston, Tue 7-10 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Gypsy guitar w/ Bo Shores, Sun, 6-9 p.m.; vintage Hawaiian music, Wed, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

Embassy Vacation Resort – Kaanapali Beach 104 Kaanapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu & Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sat; Scott Baird & Gretchen, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon & Tue. All sets from 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Hyatt Regency Maui 200 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 661-1234 “Tony ‘n Tina’s Wedding” Tue, Thu, Sat, 6:30 p.m. at Spats Trattoria. Torchlighting ceremony at 6:15 nightly followed by live Hawaiian entertainment 6:309:30 nightly in the Weeping Banyan: Sam Fukuhara, Thu, Sun-Tue; Larry Gollis, Fri and Sat; Stephanie Anderson, Wed; "Drums of the Pacific" luau by Tihati, 5:30-8 nightly.

Ka’anapali Beach Hotel 2525 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Kapalua Bay Hotel 1 Bay Drive, Kapalua, 669-5656 The Bay Club: Jazz trio, Fri and Sat, 6-9 p.m.; solo pianist, Sun-Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Gardenia Court: contemporary Hawaiian music, Sun, 9:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; Lehua Lounge: Free hula show nightly 5:30-7 and contemporary Hawaiian music 7-8:30.

Maui Marriott 100 Nohea Kai Drive, Kaanapali, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort 5900 Honoapiilani Highway, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

Ritz-Carlton Kapalua One Ritz-Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae, Fri-Tue, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

Royal Lahaina Resort 2780 Kekaa Drive, Kaanapali, 661-3611 "Eddie and Eddie" w/Eddie Lilikoi and Eddie Sebala, 5-9:30 nightly in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

Sheraton Maui Hotel 2605 Kaanapali Parkway, 661-0031

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

THE OUTERNATIONALISTS “ETHNOMIXICOLOGY” Afro Celts founder Simon Emmerson and leading UK music writer/DJ Phil Meadley are The Outernationalists. They have compiled one of the best DJ mix albums ever. Ranging from Afro, Latin, Indian and Arabic flavored club tunes, Ethnomixicology is primarily focused on getting people to dance ecstatically while preserving the integrity of the traditional forms. It is appealing to world music or dance music purists. The opening track, “Green Africa,” gets the party going from the get go, Fela Kuti style. On “Orient Carnival,” Harem masterfully mixes high-energy samba with a little Middle Eastern snake charming sounds. “Big and Bouncy” is a quirky number dedicated to breasts of all sizes.

“Now We Know” by Hawke is pure adrenalin with deeply striated diverse sounds, making for a total release on the dance floor. Dance to Ethnomixicology, and maybe even get a free copy, at one of those sassy Six Degrees Nights at Casanova, sometime near in the future. —Six Degrees Records 2004 [JOE GATTO]

VARIOUS ARTISTS “GREATEST IRISH BANDS” Last week, as we geared up for St. Patrick’s Day and donned green clothing, drank pints of Guinness and pretended like we knew anything about dancing a jig, the music industry reminded us of the indelible mark the Irish have made on the world of music. This CD features mostly the best-known hits of contemporary artists like Hothouse Flowers and Sinead O’Connor, as well as familiar standards by Irish greats, Van Morrison and U2. Aside from the predictable picks by The Cranberries and The Corrs that I could do without, this album is a winner solely for the standouts by old school rock gems, Boomtown Rats, Stiff Little Fingers, Thin Lizzy and The Pogues. There’s also a bonus DVD that features a short film about a girl’s sightings of U2’s lead singer Bono around Dublin. —Utv Records 2004 [SAM CAMPOS]

LIVING DAYLIGHTS “NIGHT OF THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS” Most music sophisticates agree that jazz is cool. Whether you fall into the “I only listen to Coltrane or Miles” school of thought, or you prefer more modern jazz-oriented groove jams, this sax trio deftly fuses both worlds together. Their latest CD, recorded live at The Sit ‘N’ Spin in Seattle, WA, Oct. ’02, features 10 previously unrecorded songs and is one of the most easy to listen to contemporary jazz CDs I’ve heard in awhile. Their mix of funk, soul and jazz is explosive without being obnoxious, jamming and grooving with refreshing ease and a definite global flair, yet still maintains an underlying sense of the traditional values of jazz. Also features guest percussionist Elizabeth Pupo-Walker. Fans of Soulive and Medeski, Martin & Wood will also dig this group, as I do. —BMI Records 2003 [SAM CAMPOS]

Got Music? If you’d like to share your thoughts on a great or not-so-hot CD you just bought, it’s show and tell time here at Maui Time Weekly! Just send your sage words of music opinions to 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278, Lahaina, HI, 96761 or email me at sam@mauitime.com.

Rock on! MTW

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

23

thursday3/18

friday3/19

LIFE’S A BEACH

Eclipse, No cover

The Edge, No cover

Prankster, No cover

Steve Mendoza, No cover

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Clay Mortensen & George Tavoularis, 8:30-11:30pm

Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm

Pam Peterson & Rudy Baria, 8:30-11:30pm

Mon - Tiffany Lee & Josh, 8:30-11:30pm; Wed - Clay Mortensen & Gilbert Emata, 8:30-11:30pm

Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm N/A, $5, 9:30pm

N/A, $5, 9:30 pm Crazy Fingers, $5, 9:30pm Service Industry Night

Mon - S.I.N., Service industry night; Wed - Karaoke night, w/Tyrone, 8-11pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288 LONGHI’S Shops at Wailea - 891-8883

saturday3/20

LULU’S

1945-H S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

sunday3/21

monday3/22 – wednesday3/24 Mon - Open Mic Nite; No cover, Tue - Crunch Pups, No cover, 8 pm Wed - Crunch Pups, No cover

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac No cover, 9pm

DJ Big Daddy Steve No cover, 9pm

DJ Tark, No cover, 9pm

Mon - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm; Tue - DJ Mackie Mac/Dollar Night, $5, 9pm; Wed - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9pm

Wailea Nights, Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $10, 8pm

Living Daylights $7, 10pm

Merv Oana, No cover, 10 pm

Mon - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; Tue - “Wailea Nights”w/Barry Flanagan & Eric Gilliom, $35 dinner, $10 show, 8-10pm; Wed - Open Mic Night, No cover, 9pm

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-Midnight

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

THURS 3/18

FRI 3/19

SAT 3/2 0

4 ED 3/2KE W 3 2 O E 3/ KARAESDAYrS! SUN 3/21 MON 3/22 TU N ini WEDa LuLu’s Sta NSTER T m

MERV MARGARITAVILLE THE S.I.N. MO AYS Tuesdays Be PROJ E CT THE WILLY’S OANA MARGARITAS MOND NIGHT $ $3 $5(ANY FLAVA) $ SPECIALS! $ r SK flavo i 3 TOO MANY Any ff Martin IHE no TO MENTION Smir $3 CORONAS R I RD E T S N O PACIFICOS M • 879ANY HOUR HAPPY HOUR! DRINKS COVER BAND

COORS LT DRAFT

$3 LULUTINI • $2 COORS DRAFT • $2 STEINLAGER CANS

Ticket Info 879-9001

PHOTO: BRON HOLLINGSHEAD

9944

STEINLAGER DRAFT

The Breakwater • 900 Front Street • Lahaina Center 24

MARCH 18, 2004

DA KINE CALENDAR

3 3

8-11p

★

DA KINECALENDAR Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly: Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed; torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

The Westin Maui Hotel 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Colonnade Asian Noodle Cafe: Benny Uyetake, Thu-Fri, Tue-Wed; Mitch Kepa, Sun-Mon both 6-9 p.m.; Mitch Kepa, 5:30-8:30 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI Four Seasons Resort Wailea 3900 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/ Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/ hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Tiffany Lee and Josh Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

Grand Wailea Resort Hotel & Spa 3850 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, 5:30-9:30 nightly: Larry Golis, Thu; Brian Mansano, Fri; Ricardo, Sat; Luis Diaz, Sun thru Tue; Mitch Kepa, Wed; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

The Fairmont Kea Lani Maui 4100 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 875-4100 Jazz entertainment from 6-9 nightly in the Lobby Bar. Wailea Marriott 3700 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-1922 Hawaiian entertainment w/ hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradyse & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort 3550 Wailea Alanui, Wailea, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace; Live music by Lono, Thu; Brado Mamalias, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat-Sun; Bobby Krueger, Mon-Wed; all sets 6-9 p.m. Wailea Sunset Luau, Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.

Maui Prince Hotel 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m. Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m. and Mon, Wed and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

EAST MAUI Hotel Hana-Maui Hana, 248-8211 Hawaiian music in Paniolo Lounge, Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

SpORTs

Drag Races at Maui Raceway Park - Fri-Sat, 6

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

THE PLACE TO BE!

p.m. at Maui Raceway Park. Some good old- fashioned drag racing, along with food and souvenirs. $7-$6. For info, call 281-1273.

Kapalua Tennis Celebrates Leprechaun Team Tennis - Sat, 2-5 p.m. at the Tennis Garden, Kapalua Bay Hotel, and the Village Tennis Center, Ritz Carlton.

In celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, Kapulua Tennis will host an afternoon of fun tennis. Players of all skill levels are invited to play. $15 & $10. For info, call 6690244.

Johnny Bang-Bang at State Junior Olympic Boxing Championships - Sat-Sun, 7 p.m. at War Memorial Gym, Wailuku. Former world rated professional boxer will be the guest ring announcer. For info, call 879-0007.

THURSDAY

MARCH . 15th

Maui’s own

And Den w/DJ Zeke 9pm . No Cover

FRIDAY

MARCH . 20th

Willie K!

lECTURES

9pm . $10 Cover

Why Whales Do That - Daily, 12:45 and 3:15 p.m.

Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea. Free presentation focusing on the intriguing behavior of Hawaii’s humpback whales. For info, call 249-8811.

Informational Program on "Identity Theft Protection" - Tue 6-7 p.m. at the Hale Makua Kahului, Boardroom. Hosted by the No Ka Oi Chapter of IAAP. Sharron Courter, a Maui resident since 1985, will share with us: What identity theft is, the most common types and how to prevent this from happening in the work place. For info, call 871-2521.

SATURDAY

MARCH . 21st

Maui’s Best Bands!

GoMega Fest 9pm . $7 Presale . $15 at the Door

The

PoliTICAl

Breakwater

Maui Peace Action announces “Maui Still Wants Peace” - Sat 1-3 p.m. in front of Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului. The event combines a sign-waving demonstration with a "write-in for peace" using free Maui Peace Portrait postcards that will be given to the public. For info, call 878-8015.

Restaurant - Bar - Nightclub

900 Front Street • Lahaina Center

KEIki

(Behind Hard Rock Cafe–Formerly Maui Brews) 667-2266

17th Annual Ho'omau 2004 - Sat 9 a.m.-6 p.m. at Keopuolani Park Amphatheater, Kahului. A benefit concert for Punana Leo O Maui Preschool. With entertainment by Keali'i Reichel, Ekolu, and many more. Also enjoy Hawaiian Crafts, live and silent auction, ono food, and our keiki zone. For info, call 244-5676.

St. Joseph School presents “Fun Day” - Sat, 10 a.m. - 2 p.m. at St. Joseph School, Makawao. Keikis will enjoy Maui Jumpy castles, along with face painting and Piihoo Pony rides, live enertaiment, food and much more. For info, call 572-0748.

Gamekids Educational Adventures Host “Playdance Day Camp” - Mon, 8:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. A musical day camp for Kieki’s in grades second through seventh grades. Tuition, along with family discounts and limited scholarships available. For info, call 984-1440.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

25

thursday3/18

friday3/19

DJ Saldub $3, 9pm

Left 4 Dead $5, 10pm

Fine Line $5, 9pm

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Cruch Pups, No cover, 9:30pm

The Perfect Storm No cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts & Friends No cover, 9:30pm

Twangers, $3, 9pm

Roadhouse Wrecking Crew, No Cover, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-2am

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SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004 SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave. - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

saturday3/20

sunday3/21

monday3/22 – wednesday3/24

DJ Boomshot, Reggae, $3 9pm

Mon - Mark Johnston Jazz Trio, No cover, 9pm; Tue - Crunch Pups, No cover, 9pm; Wed - Pool Tournament, No cover, 8pm

Hale & The Hot Lava Band No cover, 9:30pm

Tue - Guest Night, No cover, 9:30pm; Wed - Optymystics, No cover, 9:30pm

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DA KINE CALENDAR

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Seeking smart, positive woman, 28-45, for possible LTR. 476538 LAID-BACK SWM, 28, in service industry, Pisces, smoker, is looking to share beach walks, romantic dinners, and perhaps a bottle of wine with a woman, 21-31. 949876 ARE YOU LOOKING? Can you see me? Can you see what's inside my heart? Look a little deeper. SBM, 45, Leo, N/S, seeks woman, 32-50.

952237 ALL FOR YOU Male, 34, short black/dark brown, medium build, works for a delivery warehouse company. Seeking a woman, 5'2"-5'8", medium build. 949288 MAUI ISLAND INVENTOR SWM, 36, likes outdoor activities. Seeking SWF, 18-37, for adventurous, fun times together. Let's rock! 926297 LOOKS GOOD, FEELS GOOD SM, 23, 5'8", short hair, easygoing, works in construction, in great shape. Seeking SF, 18-55, for fun times, friendship, possibly more. 967884 QUALITY TIMES AHEAD SAM, 48, good-looking, tall, educated, stable, government employee, pleasant personality. Looking for a pretty, slim, feminine SF, 30-45, has a good heart, for movies, dinner dates, more. 910486 IN SHORT This Maui man, 5'9", 175lbs, brown/blue, seeks an outgoing, spontaneous woman, with whom to pair up. 877287 ALL I WANT SAM, 46, Sagittarius, smoker, seeks WF, 25-49, smoker, who loves to party, for friendship and casual dating. 862808

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MEN Seeking Men OUTGOING AND FUN Nice Filipino SM, 18, laid-back, likes tennis, volleyball, cruising, partying, being around people. Seeking sweet, nice, outgoing man, 18-30. 717672 I WANNA HOLD YOUR HAND SWM, 29, 5'10", 170lbs, brown/brown, likes to keep fit and healthy. Seeking a man to hold hands and conversations with.

652064 MUSIC IN MY BLOOD Open to anything! Laid-back male, 24, smoker, interested in playing/writing music, loves cruising. Open to kicking it with GM, 18-25, with similar interests. 548742

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For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com ABBREVIATIONS: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not a service of all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

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27

$$CASH$$ Cash now for structured settlements, annuities, AUTOMOTIVE BRAND NEW CRIB Cherrywood, and insurance payouts. 800-794-7310. J.G. bottom storage drawer, brand new Wentworth.... JG. WENTWORTH MEANS SERVICES CASH NOW FOR STRUCTURED SETTLEMOTORCYCLE & MOPED REPAIR mattress, adjustable bed height. $75 MENTS. (AAN CAN) Great Service, Top Quality Work and Call 283-7666 Competitive Rates. Behind the Train OLD ALBUMS 4 SALE Station in Lahaina. Spencer’s Cycles, Moving & must sell this great collec264-2545 WARREN & ANNABELLE’S tion of old record albums. 4 boxes Maui’s most fun and amazing show is priced to sell. 808-661-3964. looking to add: P/T SERVER (Male & female) Must have great personality & neat appearance.

HOUSEKEEPER $10/hour Applications available Mon-Fri 9 am- 4pm Warren & Annabelle’s 900 Front St., •coins •tokens •medals Lahaina No phone calls or faxes please.

AUTOMOTIVE

BUY & SELL

EMPLOYMENT

PRIZM Auto Detailing MARCH SPECIAL!

ISLAND COINS & STAMPS WE BUY & SELL •paper money •stamps •Hawaiiana •sport collectibles

ANY CAR $90 For A FULL Detail (Any full size truck, van or SUV - $100)

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WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES Stop paying over 1.95% interest on home loan. Approved individuals w/bad credit, bankruptcy. Free debt analysis, 800-887-9053, LoanNow Financial dre lic#01132888, full service mortgage banker/broker. No APR disclosed. (AAN CAN)

CLASSIFIEDS

283-7725

28

CLASSIFIED

is accepting applications for the following positions:

Kitchen Line Cooks, Host(ess), Waitstaff and Retail Sales Qualified applicants will have the following: An outgoing, fun personality, good references, a desire to work hard and have fun.

Be part of the hotel that began the Legend of Ka’anapali! The Sheraton Maui Hotel has the following career opportunities.

We are seeking motivated Individuals for the following current positions:

Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina, 2-4pm

Bell/Valet Attendant

EBAY OPPORTUNITY! $ MODELS WANTED $ (On-Call) $11-$33/hr. possible. Training For calendar magazine and artistic *clean drivers abstract required Provided. NoExperience Required. For print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 FLEXIBLE HOME Data Entry Work. $427 P-T, $8204 F- More Information Call 1-866-621-2384 SHERATON MAUI EXPOSE YOURSELF! T Guaranteed weekly. No experience Ext. 7171 (AAN CAN) With one simple phone call, you can 2605 Ka’anapali Parkway, Lahaina, HI 96761 necessary. Train on PC and start WE ARE AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY WILDERNESS CAMP reach up to 15 million young, active immediately! 800-488-5793. (AAN EMPLOYER M/F/V/D COUNSELOR and educated readers in more than CAN) Challenge yourself, learn and grow 100 newspapers justlike this one. Go whilehelping at risk youth turn their to www.aancan.com or call this newsCAREER POSITIONS lives around. Make friends, make a dif- paper for more information.

(AAN Earn $12-$48 an hour. Full Benefits, ference. Year-round residential posi- CAN) paid training on Homeland Security, tions, free room/ board. Details online: Law Enforcement, Wildlife, Clerical, www.eckerd.org. Or send resume: BARTENDERS UP TO $1000 MUSICIANS Administrative and more. 1-800-320- Career Advisor/ AN, Eckerd Youth PER WEEK! WANTED 9353 ext. 2560. (AAN CAN) Alternatives, PO Box 7450, Clearwater, Bartender Positions Available. FT/PT. GUITARIST NEEDED No Experience Required. Call 1-800FL 33758. EOE. (AAN CAN) For All-Original Rock Band. Gigs, Interested in Political Careers?

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MUSIC & ARTS

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“MOVIE EXTRAS” $200-$600/day. All looks, types & ages. No experience required. TV, music videos, film, Commercials.

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Is Seeking Interns.

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Ad Deadline Monday 4pm To Advertise Call 661-3786 Fax Number 808.661-0446 Email classifieds@mauitime.com Website www.mauitime.com Mailing 658 Front Street #126A-7278 • Lahaina, HI Drop off 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

MARCH 18, 2004

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP COMPANY

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Send resume to: Jen Russo 658 Front St. #126A-7278, Lahaina HI 96761 or call 661-3786 x3#

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Frequencies of 1-8weeks Frequencies of 9-26weeks Frequencies of 27-52weeks

$15/week* $11/week* $8/week*

Additional lines are $3 per each - bold and/or caps are $3 per line *Does not apply to Backside or Adult Services. Please call for pricing details.

out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE

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• Options When Singing • Survival Techniques & More Beginners to Advanced Develop Your Perfect Voice CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:

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MUSICIANS AVAILABLE

Maui Recycling Service CURBSIDE RECYCLING! FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 4/30/04

244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com ISLAND ANIMAL CLINIC

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For actors and non actors FREE INTRODUCTORY EVENING Tuesday,March 16th @ 7:30 pm Learn how to connect with your spontaneous instincts. Really learn to listen and observe, connect with others and be honest in the moment

8 Week Course in Makawao Begins March 23rd :Tuesday/Thursday Evenings Call for information or to register 573-3253

MUSICIAN SERVICES

LARGE & SMALL ANIMALS Preventive Medicine, Surgery, Dentistry, Flea & Tick Control

W. & S. MAUI HOMES

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Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 • Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse!

Visit: www.Roommate.com (AAN CAN)

MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo!

Bi-monthly pick up.

Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

VACATION RENTALS

BLUE PAPAYA PRODUCTIONS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Digital Recording Studio, Red Book Accommodations in our vacation Masters(Radio Quality), CD Graphic Design, Duplication & Packaging, rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Reasonable Rates. 250-2240 or 572- Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com 7166

SERVICES

NOTICES Healthcare for entire family $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, includes dental, Vision, pre-existing conditions accepted, unlimited usage, 500,000+ doctors, 800-832-9542, limited time offer. (AAN CAN) HEALTHCARE FOR ENTIRE FAMILY $89.95 monthly. No age restrictions, includes dental, Vision, pre-existing conditions accepted, unlimited usage, 500,000+ doctors, 800-738-1916, limited time offer. (AAN CAN) ORAL/HIV TESTING/ COUNSELING CLINIC @ Pukalani Community Center Wednesdays 9-11am; Paia Hawaiian Protestant Church Wednesdays 13:30pm; Wailuku Health Center Tuesdays 8-12pm & 1-4pm; Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center Thursdays 9am-12pm: Kihei Keolahou Congregational Church Mondays 11am-2pm. Community Clinic of Maui-Wailuku office Thursdays 1:30pm-3:30pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call Takako 9842129

SERVICES LICENSED ELECTRICIAN affordableelectricalandplumbing.com Consulting, Design & Installation.

283-4413 FANTASTIC CLEANING SERVICES We want to clean your office, house, condo units! Please call 2057036. You’ll see & feel the difference!

NEWS

HIV COUNSELING AND TESTING If you feel that you have been potentially exposed to HIV and would like Free, Confidential and Anonymous testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

It is important to know your HIV status so that you do not unknowingly pass the virus to others, also early detection is vital to your health and treatment.

The Maui AIDS Foundation now offers Drop-In HIV Counseling and Testing (No appointment necessary) Drop in hours are Mon.-Fri. 8:30am to 4:30pm, Wed. 8:30am to 7pm 1935 Main Street, Wailuku For more information on HIV/AIDS, STD’s including Viral Hepatitis and HIV Counseling and Testing call the Maui AIDS Foundation at 242-4900.

In Hana call 248-7801, Lanai 5656722, and Molokai 553-9086.

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM TO ADVERTISE Call 661-3786 FAX NUMBER 808.661-0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

MAILING 658 Front Street #126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761

DROP OFF 505 Front St. Ste. 216, Lahaina

A public health message provided by The Maui AIDS Foundation.

here. No more gloom and doom. You’ll get plenty of “live and let live” along with your favorite party favors. The new moon erupts with spring passion. Are you ready for an explosive adventure?

TAURUS: Nudity relieves stress according to the latest studies. Gardening naked is a good way to make contact with the divine. Be at one with your natural self. Allow yourself some alone time in nature. Our spiritual side responds to the wild.

GEMINI: New friends are ready to meet you.

Get together with others to discuss plans about the future. Your sense of independence is about to be felt. Life is fun when you’re ready for any challenge, without the fear of consequences.

CANCER: Show the world that you’re worth the mustard of any power executive. It’s hard to be in authority without drawing the attention of envious enemies. Kill them with kindness. Be as gracious as Hugo Chavez and as relentless as Mother Jones.

LEO: Make plans for an exotic getaway. Doing something different and unusual is more appealing than ever. You need to break out from the doldrums. Try a new religion. Enroll in higher education. Engage in music and dance.

VIRGO: Flexibility is crucial. You are about to embark upon “git sumi no michi,” or, the moonlit path. This means listening to your intuition is crucial. Sex, death, birth and issues involving other people’s property can put you through emotional intensity.

LIBRA: Opportunities for peacemaking continue to increase. Most people are resolved about a certain amount of injustice. You can’t remain silent amidst people that simply take cuts in line.

Forgiveness is the ultimate bringer of harmony.

SCORPIO: Be patient with yourself and with others. Work is likely to begin piling up. This is good because you feel needed. It’s easy to be in love with more than one person. Try being as loving as you are lustful. People want to be involved with you.

SAGITTARIUS: The mad artist awakens from a sleepy slumber. The displaced poet emerges with word candy and rhymes beyond reason. The cynical sourpuss gets a feather tickler and becomes a joker. The child within you is reborn. Go out and play!

CAPRICORN: Find joy where you live.

Learn to like yourself while you’re alone. You are who you are, not just who others think of you to be. Honoring your parents while honoring your partner can be a challenge. Do both for love’s sake.

AQUARIUS: Organize a neighborhood cleanup crew. Plant flowers in places that lack aesthetic continuity. Find reasons to call upon your siblings and close friends. Creative actions get a fresh start. Put your heart in your actions.

PISCES: A stitch in time saves nine. It’s time to value and repair that which you possess. Ask yourself: “What is it that defines true wealth to me?”

Think of the word “rich.” There are rich loves, rich food, rich times, rich spirits and rich soil.

✴ ✴

✴

✴

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PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

LETTERS

Cynthia Jo Trawick, DVM

CLASSIFIEDS

ARTS

Love Your Pet! See Your Vet!

COVER STORY

BY KOZMIC KEV

ARIES: Your worries are over. Your season is

If not now, when?

FOR SALE ICE HOUSE LOFTS Living in Tucson Just Got Cooler.∑ Award -winning modern design with 1920∂s authenticity. Studios-3BR∂s.

Pre-Construction availability $167K-$441K. Conditional Sales Contracts only being taken.

(520) 623-LOFT. www.icehouselofts.com Metro Partners Reality. (AAN CAN)

KOZMICBREEZE

✴

MUSICAL INSTRUCTION

661-3786

✴

HAPPY BIRTHDAY:

CHARGE IT!

Kenny Brack 3/21/66, Andrew Lloyd Webber 3/22/48, Moses Malone 3/23/55 kozmickev@sunset.net

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

SURF

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 18, 2004

29

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS

Talk Shows Are Fun, Couples Are Not So Jen and Kevin are planning a new talk show called “Bad Decisions.” It started one night while they were hanging out at Hecock’s in Lahaina, bitching about the boys they choose and the stupid relationships they have, or lack thereof. I walked into the bar, catching the tail end of it as they discussed a possible list of topics.

“Okay, so today on ‘Bad Decisions with Jen and Kevin,’” said Jen. “When You Break Up With Someone And They Don’t Notice,” said Kevin.

“When You Pick Physically And Emotionally Unavailable Men-” “Why We Keep Going Back!”

“I Don’t Think He’s Going To Pay Me Back-” “Same Person, Different Name-” “When Intervention Is Necessary: Keeping Me Away From Him-” “Drunk Text-Messaging: This Season’s New Drunk Dial.”

After several hours drinking with Sonja and Ryan earlier that day, I also had a segment for their show. We had fun making a day of dropping Sonja off at her two salon appointments—one for waxing, one for trimming and glossing—while Ryan and I kicked it at nearby bars in the interim.

When Sonja was getting her hair done at Paragon in Makawao, Ryan and I downed a couple margaritas at Polli’s down the block. While she was getting her other hair done at Thee Salon in Kahului, Ryan and I guzzled a quick beer at the Ale House.

By the time she was finished, our lovely Norwegian princess figured she had some catching up to do, so she hastily ordered Mind Erasers at the Hang Loose Lounge. I think it was at this point that I convinced her that taking the Vicodin for her last appointment was a good idea.

Hey—I never said I was the harbinger of sound advice.

Not long after another cocktail or two at the Hard Rock Café in Lahaina, my happy little couple began their happy little bickering about nothing at all.

It began as a simple contest between the three of us—who could do something-or-other the fastest. Sonja went first and tried valiantly, but failed. Then she was over it. The contest was off. Later on, Ryan wanted to continue the contest. But Sonja didn’t want to play anymore. Then Ryan wanted to go to Spats Trattoria in Kaanapali but it was too early. They then went back to arguing about the stupid contest.

It has been my experience prior to this, that happy little couples who mix alcohol, pharmaceuticals and the violent act of ripping unwanted hair from their sensitive nether regions sometimes end up bickering about nothing at all.

On the opposite end of the spectrum, last week Tommy, BJ, Kim, Katy, Jason and I went to Mulligan’s in Wailea to see Wailea Nights. The pub owner, Mike, and his floor manager, Kathleen, graciously sat the six of us at a table just off to the right of the stage, where Barry Flanagan and Eric Gilliom would be performing their beautiful music together.

Now, Katy and Jason were one of those fresh, new, happy little couples— you know, the kind that hold hands, stare into each other’s eyes, fondly kissing and rubbing and, well, ick.

Anyway, they were sitting right in my line of vision.

“Hey!” said Kim, who was sitting next to me, “there ARE single people at this table too, you know!”

I’ve heard “people” talk about how single people are morally corrupt, dangerous to our society.

I say couples are the real threat.

Gay marriages? That’s not the problem. I say let’s abolish marriage of all sexual orientation!

Okay, I’m just kidding, mom. MTW

30

MARCH 18, 2004

CLASSIFIED

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