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HOME OF HOLOHOLO GIRL, COCONUT WIRELESS, ASTRO MANA, THE MAUI 10, CUNNING LINGLE, EH BRAH!, LC WATCH AND VERTICAL ABSTRACTIONS ■ DECEMBER 15, 2005 ■ VOLUME 9 ■ ISSUE 25 ■ MAUITIME.COM ■ FREE EVERY THURSDAY ■

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DECEMBER 15, 2005


CONTENTS

MAILING ADDRESS: 658 Front St., Ste. 126A-7278 Lahaina, HI 96761 PHYSICAL ADDRESS: 505 Front St., Ste. 216 Lahaina, HI 96761 office (808) 661–3786 • fax (808) 661–0446

VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 25

www.mauitime.com

Your Local Gift Guide starts on page 10!

COVER STORY 10

MacNet C O M P U T E R & H O M E T H E AT E R SA LES | S ER VICE | ON -SITE S UPPORT

•Local Gift Guide It’s the holiday season, and that means we all need to buy people stuff. Our guide to the island’s best local shops means you don’t have to surrender to a mall – by Samantha Campos, Anthony Pignataro and Jennifer Russo

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•New Column! •Eh Brah!

5

•Akiology

9

Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (The Man Who Loved Women) Calendar Editor: Heidi King heidi@mauitime.com (Everything You Always Wanted to Know about Sex but were Afraid to Ask)

•The Maui 10

Contributing Writers: Mason McGraw, Ted Rall, Eric Paul Shaffer, Chuck Shepherd

•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Michele Furmato, Sean M. Hower, Jessica Pearl

•Cunning Lingle

Intern: Tallia Monterroso

ONO KINE GRINDS 17 18

Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com (Cannonball Run) Production Assistants: Wendy Higa, Amanda Lilikoi, David Spink

•Mañana Garage Good duck, great service – by Ashley Fitch

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (Deliverance)

•Dining Listings Hours, locations and price ranges of Maui’s eateries

Advertising Coordinator: Ashley Fitch ashley@mauitime.com (Skullduggery)

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General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (Best Little Whorehouse in Texas) Admin. Exec: Kimberly L. Welch klw@mauitime.com (Smokey and the Bandit)

23 •This Week’s Picks 26 •Film: Age of Unreason Good Night, and Good Luck ()

Office Assistant: Becky Spector Web Design: Bump Networks www.bumpnetworks.com

– by Anthony Pignataro

Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com (Hooper)

LUSCIOUS LINGERIE ❤ LOVERS’ PLAY THINGS ❤ LOTIONS & POTIONS ❤ GIGGLES

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2005 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Angel

Christopher Moore’s heartwarming tale of Christmas terror – by Eric Paul Shaffer

•The Grid & Calendar Listings

CLASSIFIED 35 •Personals 36 •Classified Listings 37 •Astro Mana 38 •HoloHolo Girl 39 •Mind, Body & Spirit

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

COVER ART: DAVID SANDELL

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

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NEWS

NEWCOLUMN!

BY MICK E. FINN MICK@MAUITIME.COM

No More Buck Rogers Sci-fi legend retires from world of clichés Suddenly emerging from years in seclusion, science fiction hero Anthony “Buck” Rogers announced his retirement today from the world of future-describing clichés. From now on, Rogers said, he would no longer appear in any metaphors designed to help people lacking scientific backgrounds understand complex technological developments and breakthroughs. “After decades of seeing my name tied to every damn-fool trend that comes down the pike, I’m calling it quits,” said Rogers from his beachfront home in 25th century Florida. “You guys are just going to have to find a new name to drop when trying to describe how breathtaking the new talking toaster is or how amazing next year’s personal jet pack will be. Frankly, I’m just too old to keep doing this.” Rogers first appeared 77 years ago in Phil Nowlan’s August 1928 Amazing Stories story “Armageddon-2419 A.D.” According to Nowlan, Rogers—a former “U.S. Air Service” pilot in World War I— had found post-war work as a Pennsylvania surveyor. But in 1919, he was trapped in a cave-in, then put into suspended animation by “strange radioactive gasses.” Upon awakening 500 years later in 2419, Rogers found to his horror that Mongol hordes had overrun America. In response, Rogers teamed up with beautiful Wilma Deering and the genius Dr. Huer and succeeded in driving the dreaded hordes away. Since then, pundits, reporters and screenwriters have invoked Rogers’ name millions of times by trying to describe otherwise undescribable new developments in warfare, aviation and spaceflight. Even the original Mercury Seven astronauts were said to refer to themselves as modern-day Buck Rogers. The National Intelligence Council held a conference in October 1999 on future threats to the nation entitled “Buck Rogers

or Rock Throwers?” A 2001 NASA press release on the study of aircraft with self-bending wings was called “Buck Rogers, Watch Out!” A June 21, 2004 CNN story headlined “Buck Rogers Bucks” told of how civilians can fly into space for $102,000. “All four vehicles understand and react to the change real-time, deliver the munitions on target and bring back the evidence,” said U.S. Air Force test pilot Lt. Col. James “Pee Wee” Wertz in a May 2004 Boeing corporate newsletter article on the experimental unmanned X-45 aircraft. “Now that’s truly amazing. That’s Buck Rogers-type stuff.” “I never agreed to any of this!” said Rogers, sharing his porch with his fifth wife Honey Goodhead, a 23-year-old exotic dancer and adult film star who said she was also contemplating retirement. “Had I been getting fat residual checks all these years, maybe I’d consider staying on. But it’s too late now. From now on, you people will just have to invoke Flash Gordon’s or maybe even Batman’s name for your high-tech metaphors.” MTW

EH BRAH! Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This goes out to the cheesy loser who stole my 16-year-old son’s surfboard. He left it unattended for the whole of 10 minutes, which is when you swooped in and grabbed it. Now a lot of people always say that stealing gives you bad karma and what goes around comes around, but with you, I doubt it. You’re probably having a blast right now on his board. Though I must say that the thought of you becoming shark bait does have its bright side.


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Sinoto’s Makena stomping ground

JoAnn Carroll’s

Akiology The allegations are literally bone chilling. Writing with the numbers “1,” “2,” “3” and “4” in red ink on a child’s skull. Taping children’s teeth to an index card. Duct taping bones together. Putting a human hand in a bag marked “Handbag Louis Vuitton.” Such macabre practices seem torn from a H.P. Lovecraft horror story, yet they come from a recent State Historic Preservation Division report detailing 21 counts of alleged failures and inappropriate activity by Aki Sinoto Consulting, a long-established Honolulu archaeological firm, at the construction site of the new Ke’eaumoku Street Wal-Mart on Oahu. The division has recommended slapping $210,000 in fines on Sinoto’s firm. Needless to say, Sinoto vigorously denies treating any of the site’s antiquities with anything less than proper respect. “We unequivocally deny allegations made by the state Historic Preservation Division,” Sinoto said in a prepared statement later quoted by the Honolulu StarBulletin. “[The state] has grossly distorted the facts of the case. Every single charge is without foundation.” The investigation into Sinoto’s archaeological techniques—if allegedly dumping a hand into a bag marked “Louis Vuitton” can be called a “technique”—has dramatic implications here on Maui. That’s because Sinoto has been Makena Resort’s archaeologist of choice for the last couple of decades. Since at least 1980, Makena Resort has paid Sinoto and his firm to study the whole Makena Complex. Opponents to the company’s plans to expand the resort have long looked at Sinoto’s reports and said they minimized the number, location and importance of ancient Hawaiian historical sites throughout the complex. Indeed, when Office of Hawaiian Affairs Administrator Clyde W. Namu’o recently called for a new archaeological survey of Makena by a firm independent of any landowner to clear up considerable

LETTERS

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SURF

inconsistencies with the existing studies, a Makena Resort official and consultant each wrote letters bludgeoning Namu’o with Sinoto’s previous work. “[T]he Cultural Resource Management Plans (July 2005) prepared by Aki Sinoto Consulting for the Makena Resort holdings addresses the major concerns raised in Paragraphs 1) and 2) of your letter,” Makena Resort Vice President Roy Figueiroa wrote Namu’o on Aug. 4, 2005. He then added that Sinoto’s report “has determined the origins of much of the site designation discrepancies” and made possible a “resolution” to the controversy in the near future. It didn’t matter. OHA ended up giving a grant to the slow growth group Maui Tomorrow to hire archaeologist Theresa Donham to do a study on the existing Makena survey reports. While no one has made any allegations of the Wal-Mart type against Sinoto for any of his Makena work, it’s undeniable that convictions there will cast a dark cloud over his numerous insistences that there are no Hawaiian sites in South Maui that preclude a Wailea-sized expansion of the resort. It’s interesting to note that the other survey report cited by Figueiroa in his response to Namuo—the March 2005 Archaeological Inventory Survey Report by Lisa RotunnoHazuka—has itself been thoroughly rejected by everyone concerned, including Dowling, the guy who originally commissioned it. Until it was discredited as sloppy and incomplete in early October, Rotunno-Hazuka’s study provided useful cover for Dowling as he fought to gain approval to build superrich condos on his own 11 Makena acres. Ironically, Dowling then hired Donham to do a new thorough archaeological survey of Makena. In any case, the state Board of Land of Natural Resources should begin hearing testimony on the Sinoto matter this month. At the same time, the archaeologist Donham is also finishing her fieldwork for Dowling. No word on her final findings, beyond the fact that she’s already found a new burial site Sinoto somehow missed. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, DEC. 7 “County to bill owners of junkers,” reads the top story headline in today’s Maui News. Do you know how incredible this is? The county is now going to start tracking down people who abandon cars on the roadside and billing them for the disposal fees. This is outstanding! It’s absolutely wonderful! It’s positively stupendous! It’s… wait a sec: why are they doing this now, and not, oh, 20 years ago? I mean, sure, it’s asking a lot of our overworked, understaffed police department to go out and somehow get the vehicle identification numbers (VINs) off the abandoned cars, then plug those VINs into a computer that’s connected to, I don’t know, maybe a database that only law enforcement people have access to that has every car’s ownership history listed by VIN. No, wait—hear me out: then the cops would find out who last owned the car and where this person lived, then go to this person’s house or apartment or whatever and knock on the door and ask if the person was at home and if he or she is, then the cop would bust his or her ass for dumping a motor vehicle on a public road. I know it sounds like science fiction, but this is the 21st century! We’ve got to dream!

THURSDAY, DEC. 8 So it looks like Honolulu superstar musician Don Ho is recovering nicely. It isn’t everyday the Waikiki performer has to fly out to Thailand to get an experimental stem cell procedure done on his very weak, 75-year-old heart. It’s shocking, I know, and my friends staggered under the news. “Don Ho’s only 75?!” said one, summing up our general feeling. Seriously, this isn’t a laughing matter. Don Ho is a Hawai’i institution, providing the sweet, sweet hapa haole music that millions of drunk tourists will forever remember when they recall their six days and seven nights in the islands. It would be wrong to try to belittle the whole affair by saying that it’s very likely Don Ho now has “Tiny Bubbles” flowing through his blood, as another friend recently observed. Very wrong.

FRIDAY, DEC. 9 Well, looks like the party’s coming to a close. It was a good run while it lasted. The sun is setting on our good fortune. What would cause me to repeat so many hackneyed clichés? Today’s Chicago Tribune story—picked up the Honolulu Advertiser—that quotes “experts” as saying the real estate boom is finally ending. Yes, those halcyon days of low mort-

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

gage rates and high-risk, interest-only loans may finally be over. Still, none of the economists mentioned in the story has yet predicted that the market will collapse—only that it will “stagnate,” forcing people to actually live, perhaps for years, in the homes and condos they’re buying. What a dark time, indeed.

SATURDAY, DEC. 10 Yesterday 37-year-old Mexican national Santiago Lol Tizol allegedly rushed the cockpit of a Northwest Airlines flight from Los Angeles to Honolulu. He did this after allegedly spending two hours staring at a baby and making vague threats with a cell phone cord. Given that Tizol decided to run around on an airplane just a couple days after Air Marshals at Miami International Airport blew away a guy they thought had a bomb, he’s clearly insane.

Big story in today’s Maui News on U.S. Deputy Secretary of the Interior Lynn Scarlett’s much-publicized early morning trip to the Haleakala summit as part of her even more publicized weeklong tour of Hawai’i. Apparently dressed like a green Hobbit (if the story’s accompanying photo is any guide) Scarlett shivered in the cold morning air as she talked of President George W. Bush’s “philosophy” of “cooperative conservation,” which as far as I can tell is just politician-talk for letting corporations dictate envi-

“THE SUN ITSELF IS REALLY, REALLY HOT TODAY.”-Woman talking at Foodland in Lahaina, Dec. 9 DECEMBER 15, 2005

NEWS

MONDAY, DEC. 12 Concerns about the 100-strong homeless camp on the Kahului Harbor breakwater are reaching a crescendo. So far county officials have been willing to live with the legions of families camped out there. But in today’s Honolulu Advertiser, Maui District health officer Dr. Lorrin Pang brought up the bacterial meningitis outbreak among Kihei’s homeless that happened two years ago and said the county’s “playing with fire” by letting the encampment continue as it is. In fact, he even said the county ought to build a special homeless area that has running water and full sanitation services—a recommendation county housing officials oppose. That means it’s now only a matter of time before the county just moves in and sweeps everyone out, scattering them across the island, until they eventually coalesce someplace else and the whole thing starts again. Sounds like a plan to me!

SUNDAY, DEC. 11

OVERHEARD...

6

ronmental terms as much as possible through “partnerships” rather than “privatization.” “Conservation resides in the actions of everyone,” she told News reporter Valerie Monson. “While government can have a role, if we put all our eggs in one basket, we can’t achieve our goals.” Parsing out that devilishly simplistic quote would take far more space and patience than I have at the moment, but really the only important word Scarlett uses is “we.” We all want to protect the environment, she seems to be saying, though it’s not a true a statement. “We” want all sorts of things like sport utility vehicles, three-bedroom homes, clean oceans, nuclear weapons and gnatcatcher habitats that don’t really coexist easily. So it’s up to those in power—still Dubya, unfortunately—to figure out how to get those things that are truly important. And when you look at stuff like campaign contribution statements, proposed bills and Justice Department environmental law prosecutions instead of just listening to lofty rhetoric espoused by a bureaucrat from atop a mountain, it’s quite clear that the Bush Administration believes loggers, miners, power plants and polluters are the only ones who should have a meaningful say in how much of our land is “conserved.”

TUESDAY, DEC. 13 The average weekly wage for workers in Hawai’i is just $669, the Bureau of Labor Statistics reported yesterday. They also reported that the average national weekly wage is $775. Don’t look for our wages to rise anytime soon, either, they added. No wonder the harbor breakwater is proving so popular. Anthony Pignataro could not have been a contender. MTW

LC Watch Surprise Witness

All I can say is that Dave Jorgensen has guts. A partner in the powerful Wailuku law firm Ing, Horikawa and Jorgensen, he successfully won three not guilty verdicts on three over-serving counts for Moose McGillycuddy’s at the Liquor Control Adjudication Board’s Dec. 1, 2005 hearing. That he won at all was remarkable, considering the last Adjudication Board not guilty verdict came down two years earlier. But Jorgensen managed to do so after sticking his head in a potential noose right at the hearing’s beginning. As the trial got underway, Board Chairman Shigeto “Mustard” Murayama invoked his beloved “exclusionary rule” (see the Oct. 20, 2005 LC Watch for more on this) to kick any potential witnesses out of the hearing room. “With all due respect,” Jorgensen said, “we will be calling Frank Silva as a witness, so I ask that he leave the room.” The five full seconds of silence that followed Jorgensen’s announcement seemed like five months. Everyone looked at Jorgensen. Everyone looked at LC Director Silva, who always, Always, ALWAYS sits in on the hearings. Deputy Prosecuting Attorney Andrew Martin finally asked Jorgensen why he wanted to call Silva as a witness. Jorgensen said he had many questions about previous orders Silva had given his investigators, time logs and other issues he said were central to his case. There was more silence, but then Silva graciously said it was okay and walked out. It was dramatic—Perry Mason-dramatic— and it took real courage for Jorgensen, who faces the LC all the time, to do that. But what took even more courage was that after Jorgensen had gone through all his other witnesses, he told the board that he didn’t need to question Silva after all. And now to update a previous LC Watch. On Dec. 1, I marveled in this space at the LC shelling out $10,000 to send 10 Adjudication Board members and Liquor Commissioners to a posh Big Island resort for the annual State Liquor Conference. Since then it’s come to my attention that the department also sent an additional 10 to 12 staffers, including managers, investigators and secretaries to the conference, which most likely ran the whole LC conference bill to around $25,000. When it comes to conferences, the LC apparently spares no expense.

—Anthony Pignataro


MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

The Maui 10 Who’s the county’s most powerful player?

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Hawaiian Telcom Monsanto Hawai’i Maui Land & Pineapple Harry & Jeanette Weinberg Foundation Maui Electric Co. Alexander & Baldwin Trex Enterprises Dowling Co. Makena Resort Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Co.

Huge upset this week as Hawaiian Telcom—still a wholly owned subsidiary of defense contracting giant Carlyle Group—finally slides into the top spot in front of Maui Land & Pine. It was MLP’s battle to lose, and it did last week when the Maui County Council Land Use Committee voted to eliminate 250 of the company’s 690 proposed Kapalua Mauka timeshares. And over on Oahu, Alexander & Baldwin has pussed out on its massive Waikiki project, dumping one of its three proposed condo towers in the face of public opposition. And the Weinberg Foundation, which owns a whopping $1.044 billion in Hawai’i real estate (according to the November 2005 issue of the magazine Hawaii Business) moves up two notches because, well, they haven’t done anything lately. MTW

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7


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MAUI’S BEST SURFBOARD SELECTION! Thrusters, Longboards, Fish, Hybrids, Rocket Fish, Mini-tankers, Epoxy Boards, Stand up Boards, Tow Boards

Happy Holidays! 8

DECEMBER 15, 2005

NEWS

Performance artist Tomoko Takahashi, 39, working on a British government grant of the equivalent of about $8,600, gave an exhibition of inebriation in October at the Chapter arts center in Cardiff, Wales. Dressed in business suit and high heels, Takahashi drank a large amount of beer over a three-hour period, periodically checking to see how far she could walk across a narrow beam about two feet off the floor without falling. A Chapter spokesman called the demonstration a “powerful piece of art.”

ARE WE SAFE? In October, the federal Department of Homeland Security announced a $36,300 grant to the state of Kentucky, earmarked to prevent terrorists from using charity bingo and other games of chance to raise money. One astonished bingo worker in

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

Frankfort told the Associated Press that the need to protect bingo parlors from terrorists “would never even enter my mind.”

POLICE REPORT The bane of all fair-minded office sports teams is the “ringer,” the super-athlete from outside who is imported to help the office team win. Former minor league baseball player Mark Guerra, 33, was accused by Florida authorities of being such a ringer, imported for the Apalachee Correctional Institution’s team, which he led to victory in a Department of Corrections softball tournament. The Florida Department of Law Enforcement arrested Guerra in October and charged him with fraudulently accepting a $1,247 “salary” as a temporary Apalachee “employee” but never actually doing any work.

PEOPLE WITH ISSUES Michael Plentyhorse, 18, was charged with indecent exposure in Sioux Falls, S.D., in November, when he was discovered partially undressed, in a store, fooling around with a semi-nude female mannequin. “There was inappropriate activity between him and the mannequin,” said a police officer. “That’s the only way I know how to put it.”

LEAST COMPETENT CRIMINALS Bryan Perley, who apparently held a grudge against a child-support caseworker, was charged in Orlando, Fla., with several felony counts when he tried to arrest her by impersonating a military officer and holding a fake, handwritten arrest warrant. When the woman’s colleagues would not cooperate with him, Perley actually called for police backup, according to a report by WFTV-TV. He told the dispatcher, “[The colleagues] don’t understand the chain of command in government. I’ve warned them.” MTW


Cunning Lingle What Governor Linda Lingle said in a Dec. 7, 2005 press release announcing she was releasing $11.8 million in new state highway funds, $7.9 million of which are for widening Haleakala Highway: “Our Administration is committed to investing in road repairs such as these to preserve the integrity of our highways, relieve traffic congestion, and provide needed safety measures for our residents and visitors.”

What she didn’t say: The Lingle Administration has been in power since 2003, and it’s only now worried about “the integrity” of our highways? Have they heard any of the bitching that goes on concerning the proposed Paia and Lahaina Bypass Roads? Man, people have been asking for those roads—neither of which is very long— for decades. Traffic heading into both towns starts to crush spirits at about three in the afternoon, and no one seems to be doing anything about it. Who knows if those roads will ever get built.

-Anthony Pignataro

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9


Your 2005 Local Holiday Gift Guide The press release we just got says all of you are going to be spending bank this holiday season. “The survey showed that (60%) of the respondents favored the mall for buying their holiday gifts,” wrote Queen Ka’ahumanu Center marketing manager Lisa Paulson in the release. “With high fuel prices on everyone’s minds, shoppers can count on the mall as a onestop-shopping alternative where they can come for gifts, holiday entertainment, dining and family fun.” Everyone should just go to the mall. That’s nice. And by nice, we mean wrong, Wrong, WRONG! Did you know that the mall of which she speaks is managed by something called General Growth Properties? That’s a publicly traded outfit that also manages 210 other shopping malls in 44 states—a whopping 24,000 stores, when you add up all the Radio Shacks, Gaps and pretzel carts. Mall, shmall. If you must buy things this Christmas, there are plenty of nice, small, intimate little locally owned places around Maui that have great service and lots of interesting gift ideas. Here are a few that we’ve found, arranged by region so you can easily plan your shopping expeditions. We think that if you insist on spending money this holiday season, then your gifts should come from places that are as unique as the people you’re buying them for. So sit back, relax and remember that true gift giving requires more than just a mall.

Edited by Samantha Campos, Anthony Pignataro and Jennifer Russo

South Maui’s Hidden Local Talent When you think of heading to South Maui it’s not usually to shop. Go to a club, pick up a great Philly cheesesteak sandwich, sun on the beach—but not shopping. Well, don’t sell South Maui short just yet. We spent an afternoon or two perusing the Kihei and Wailea shopping districts and there were plenty of secret gems in the rough. When we stopped at Aloha Marketplace, we were expecting a bit of a tourist trap, with stands offering Indonesian and China-made goods and souvenirs. What we found was that it was all just a front for a great little store called Maui Mana that has original art, unique jewelry, a tremendous variety of tobacco pipes, papers, water pipes and other unique gifts. We promptly picked up a few hemp tobacco papers—they make great stocking stuffers. As we headed North on South Kihei Road, we pulled into the Foodland Shopping Center and found a shop called Rainbow Attic. This consignment store is full of potential gifts, from a solid housewares area to a great fashion section. The ceramic planters we bought would’ve run twice as much elsewhere, and will be well appreciated by the plant lover we bought them for. We can’t be shopping in Kihei without stopping at The Love Shack. Lila’s collection of tantalizing adult gifts and fun can be found at the Kihei Kalama Village. Of course the Striptease Kit caught our eye, it had everything but the pole in a cute reusable box chock full of tips to make you the naked dancer you always were inside. Other favorite items were the “After Sex Towel” and the peacock feathers—free with every purchase. Also in the open-air Kihei Kalama Village is the largest and most eclectic array of individual merchant-manned kiosks, all collected under one roof on the block between the Love Shack and Bada Bing. It’s here you’ll find an unexpected gem or two amidst the predictable sarongs, wooden fish mobiles and surfboard towels. For instance, a chrome lighter engraved with your photo is a charming gift for the stinky smoker in your family. Accompany it with a ceramic ashtray adorned with a three-dimensional sunbathing man in a g-string, and let the butt jokes fly! If you wanna get a little more hardcore for the holidays, check out the 20156 store under Lulu’s for their line of HardCore Watches. Handcrafted and water resistant, these timepieces feature thick chains or black leather studded swatches and faces with such bad boy emblems as skulls, flames, jokers, reapers and gatekeepers. Grrr! Just a little bit down the road is the Rainbow Mall, home to Okole Candy, Discount Liquor and Beach Road Records. Not only does Beach Road have a great selection of new CDs in all genres—as well as music from Maui musicians—but they also have used CDs, listening stations, DVDs and rentals, and they seem to be the only place on island that has Ben & Jerry’s Chubby Hubby, Half-Baked, and Marsha, Marsha, Marshmellow flavors in their ice cream case. Sweet! The end of our South Maui excursion brings to us to The Shops at Wailea. Ah, The Shops—the island’s oceanside mall notable for its unusual pairing of ritzy, high-end designer boutiques with board-less surf shops and mass-marketed souvenir T-shirts. But at the femme-tastic and magical place known appropriately as The Enchantress, we delighted over the fabulous princess gowns and opulent costume jewelry—everything seems to be sprinkled with fairy dust. We also got giddy over the crystal-embedded iPod covers, the elaborate feathered masks, and the tranquil goddess fountains. We felt like we’d stepped into the ultimate fantasy world, which was great ‘cause our shopping world left us utterly exhausted and thankful for the feminine graces of the luxurious Swarovsky crystal encrusted wedge heel slipper. Ah…

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DECEMBER 15, 2005

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Maui’s Shopping Mecca If you want to shop till you drop all you have to do is head to Central Maui. This is where the shoppers of Maui converge. We took the liberty of delving deep into the sideroads of Maui’s shopping Mecca to bring you the juicy details of where to go to find the most unique gifts Maui has to offer. It doesn’t matter who is on your Christmas list—you can find them something in Central Maui. We began our journey on Market St. in Wailuku. This street is an antique hunter’s dream, but you will also find many treasures in the pawn shops, art and gift shops. Shop at Kama’aina Loan, Old Daze Antiques, Lizzie K., Emura’s and Paradise Buy and Sell in the block north of Main alone. We traveled a little farther north to find the Maui Booksellers bookstore and settled in at Sheila’s Junktique. Sheila has a little of everything in her shop and she is willing to take on a bit more. Bring in your stuff to trade and get store credits to do your shopping with. We couldn’t decide if the giant glass candy jar or the plastic set of mugs circa 1960 were a better purchase, but both sell for around $10. Right next door at Sandell Artworks we found a handpainted toilet seat, one-of-a-kind art pieces, clothing and Wailuku maps done by the artist himself. Who doesn’t need art for their porcelain throne? Traveling down Mill Street on our way to Lower Main we stopped at Eco, a consignment store filled with knickknacks, framed art and jewelry. Great stuff for Moms and Aunties who love collectables here. On Lower Main Paradise Spice is your emporium for adult gifts with a great collection of videos, magazines, toys, lingerie and more. If you have a Jenna Jameson fan in the family you won’t go wrong here. From here we pulled into The Fish Shack just down the road. Fish are some of the best pets in the world, they are also very feng shui. At The Fish Shack you will find fish for every kind of owner, tanks of every size, plus they have outdoor fish ponds, lily pads and koi fish, if you really want to get fancy. Believe it or not they also carry gourmet dog bakery treats and dog pet supplies. Our two dogs inhaled the bow-wow turnovers we picked up here. Now our shopping extravaganza leads to Maui Mall, which we must point out it isn’t really a mall at all. The shops here are of a great variety to please the whole family. Spotlight Fashionz has the trendy clothes for guys and girls, Maui Creations for your handmade artisan Hawaiian gifts, jewelry, books, pareos and Tahitian pearls, and East West Imports is the place for gifts from Asia. Sport fanatics will delight in the Runner’s Paradise, while the ocean lovers can head to The Foam Company for their gear, deals on body boards, fins, leashes and clothing. Just down the street on Alamaha, Futon Lifestyles has great futons and furnishings, but did you know their silk flower arrangements are amazing? They also carry great covers and pillow sets for futons. Furnishing your home is not out of the question for Christmas. Around the corner on Hana Highway is Bounty Music, so why not buy your boyfriend that guitar he wants? Bounty will also have the sheet music he needs to serenade you with. Their selection of instruments, amps and accoutrements is mindblowing, this is the heart of island music composition—all you need is the artist. An easy gift that’s always appropriate at Christmas is the cookie. We stopped in at Maui’s Dee-Lites to buy a secret Santa gift—a box of their mixed cookies. Always a hit, this box of delicious shortbread, chocolate chip, and peanut butter cookies is better than any Danish assortment tin. Our last stop in Kahului was at Macnet on Dairy and Hana Highway. This deluxe shop will have most computer nerds drooling with the beautiful 30-inch flat screens, Mac minis, and imac G5’s, but what you’re gonna see on everyone’s Christmas list is the video iPod we found here. If you already have an iPod then they have every accessory you can think of for this handy MP3 player plus a home theater room, software, cases, laptops, printers and other computer gadgets.

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Bring this ad in for 20% off the marked price of all pendants, carved, shell, and bone. Good till 12/31/05

Maui Mall • 873-7955

High-speed wireless internet and a $25 gift card. Someone’s been very, very good this year. Clearwire® has something special for you this holiday: high-speed internet service for only $19.99 a month for the first three months,* plus a $25 gift card.** It’s our best offer of the season. So sign up for the internet service you can take anywhere in our coverage area, and get the gift card you can spend anywhere VISA® is accepted.

But act fast, because this offer ends December 31.

*Regular rates apply thereafter. Requires minimum service agreement, activation fee, and lease or purchase of customer equipment. Service levels, features, and prices may vary by rate plan and service area and are subject to change without notice. Other restrictions may apply; see www.clearwire.com. © Clearwire LLC 2005. All rights reserved. **Use of this card is conditioned upon being a Clearwire subscriber in good standing, and must be returned unused if the subscriber cancels service within the first 30 days; if not returned, Clearwire reserves the right to charge the full value of the $25 gift card against the subscriber’s account. VISA is a registered trademark of VISA International Service Association.

Call 888-CLEARWIRE, go to clearwire.com, or visit one of our authorized retail locations to get connected today.

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The Clearwire Store – 444 Hana Hwy., Dairy Center, Ste. C•Mall Kiosk – Queen Ka’ahumanu Center Mall Kahului•871-Maui – 340 Hana Hwy., Ste. E – 871-6284•Belaire West Telcom – 270 Lalo St., Ste. 104 – 871-5200 Dreamstar Wireless Networks – 140 Hoohana St., Ste. 205 – 442-6292•Harmer Radio and Electronics Inc. – 310-9 Alamaha St. – 877-8082 Wireless World – Maui Mall, 70 E. Ka’ahumanu Ave., Ste. A3 – 873-7522 Kihei•Kopies Business Center – 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, Ste. 114 – 874-9581 Lahaina•Wireless World – Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy., Ste. G7 – 661-9720


West Side Culture Trying to find unique gifts on the West Side can be a daunting task. From Kapalua to the southern end of Lahaina Town, a jumble of big name boutiques and seemingly endless souvenir shops crowd tight streets and shopping centers. But there’s hope there— there is culture in Lahaina and West Maui. Lahaina is known for art, but where do you go for something other than a plein air seascape or airbrushed whale picture? A good place to start is Bella Vetri Gallery in the Kapalua Shops. There you’ll find an incredible assortment of very colorful and very expensive hand-blown glass. Like Tom McGlaughlin’s “Miss L Looks Askance,” which retails for just $3,500 and would look very pretty in anyone’s front parlor. Oh, and you needn’t bother checking out the rest of the shops—except for Sansei and that place that sells Kapalua logo wear, there’s really nothing there. Further south in Ka’anapali is the larger and more crowded Whaler’s Village. That’s where high fashion boutiques compete with other high fashion boutiques while bigname jewelry stores look on in disgust. But nestled in a nook on the lowest level is Lahaina Printsellers, Ltd., a tiny shop that sells maps. The walls are covered in authentic originals, some dating back hundreds of years, showing strange and mysterious lands populated with dragons and tigers that have since come to be known as Oregon and California. Anyway, they’ve also got plenty of far cheaper reproductions that will still give your father’s den that olde world flair it so desperately needs. As you inch your way closer to Lahaina Town, make a stop at the Lahaina Cannery Mall for a couple gift ideas. Honolua Surf Co. offers boards, bags, sunglasses, slippers, alohaprint luggage and the latest in beach and surf wear, from Billabong, Volcom, Element, Ezekiel and more. Or check out some tropical IKEA-esque island home décor at Banana Wind, where you can stock up on your bamboo frames, raffia bedskirts, tiki mugs and Giant Porcupine Fish—a hanging, stuffed puffer with spines that’s sure to scare the bejesus out of the little ones as well as entertain the most drunken of your holiday guests. Just a block away from Front Street in Lahaina is where you’ll find the best Westside selections in booze, glorious booze. Mr. Wine has over 600 selections in wine, as well as specialty liquors and import beers. But don’t be intimidated—just ask Brian or any of his qualified oenophiles for help and let the liquid sunshine flow! If you live in Lahaina then you know that cruisers are the only transportation in town: Point A to point B in mere minutes with no parking hassles. West Maui Cycles in the industrial section of town has a wonderful selection of remarkable bikes. There are cowgirl bikes with denim and fringe and Schwinns that come equipped with badass ape hanger bars. Front Street can be a terrifying place for the uninitiated shopper, with its densely packed T-shirt shops, ABC Stores and art galleries. Much of this is really only useful to someone watching the clock to see when the last launch heads back to the cruise ship. But there are a few finds for those willing to seek out real cultural gems. The first place to start has to be the Old Lahaina Book Emporium, where an educational present goes a long way. Jo Ann has Hawaiiana, fiction, travel, true crime and a handsome selection of early Hunter S. Thompson works. Can’t say it with a book? Then head around the corner on Lahainaluna to Aunty Panty’s Lahaina Lingerie and pick up some fetish wear. Of course she’s also got a complete selection of adult toys and lingerie, depending on your price range and level of interest in the person you’re shopping for. When you are in the market for some handmade gifts that really show craftsmanship, head toward the Banyan Tree. Every weekend there are artists under the tree selling their wares. From jewelry to oil paintings, there’s a lot to choose from. Across the street at the Wharf Cinema Center you will find Michael the sandalmaker crafting handmade leather sandals at Island Sandals, designed around the time of Christ. He even ships to your home: just send in an outline of your foot to get a custom fit.

Maui Community College U N I V E R S I T Y

O F

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S Y S T E M

spring

2006

m a u i . h a w a i i . e d u

MELE KALIKIMAKA FROM ALL OF US AT MCC!

Wishing you the wonder, empowerment, and joy of higher education! Choose among transfer degrees or degrees and certificates in 18 career & technical areas. Registration for Spring 2006 is on-going. We’re open over the holidays to help. Call 984-3286 today or visit the web at maui.hawaii.edu.

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Maui Community College does not discriminate on the basis of race, sex, age, religion, color, national origin, ancestry, disability, marital status, arrest and court records, sexual orientation, or status as a covered veteran.

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Upcountry’s Eclectic Artisans A common misconception about shopping Upcountry is that it’s all “hippies and new-agers” selling incense, crystals and Rasta-colored tie-dyed laptop cases made in Indonesia. While there are a few spots in Paia that loosely fit this mold (Mandala Ethnic Arts, Primitive Rhythm, Island Roots), the greater part of Upcountry features upscale boutiques, specialty shops and art galleries. And most, if not all, feature locally made products. We know this because we took a shopping tour recently through Paia, Makawao and Kula. And we found a great deal of unique gifts for that pesky “person who has everything” we’re faced with every damn year. We always like to start off holiday shopping with a little alcohol. The Wine Corner in Paia is great place for that. Along with the usual suspects—international and domestic wines, beers and Blanton’s Single-Barrel Bourbon—they also feature Maui-made, 80-proof, Braddah Kimo’s Mo’ Bettah Silvah Rum. Perfect for those chilly, 70-degree nights when you’re itchin’ for some holiday spirit, like hot buttered rum. Just down the street, Hana Hwy. Surf is one of several shops in Paia where you can find swimsuits, board wax, T-shirts and a slew of feet-liberating slippahs. But in addition to surfboard rentals and lessons, Hana Hwy. Surf also features the Huck Doll—a five-inch, bendable, extreme sports action figure/surf dude and board with magnetic traction so you can map out your latest rippin’ maneuvers. Awesome! If it’s baubles you need, you’ll find some sophisticated accessories made by local jewelers at Neuge Bleu. Or try Currents’ low-impact jewelry made from radiator core, roofing materials or airplane and plumbing parts at Maui Hands gallery, where 85 percent of all art comes from Maui artists—the rest comprised of artists who reside on other Hawaiian islands. I don’t know why but every year we eyeball the Petunia Pickle Bottom diaper bags at Biasa Rose boutique. No, we don’t have children but we’re considering having a kid just so we can adorn ourselves with those stylish, satin, Asian-print numbers. Seriously, these bags could easily be used as laptop or book bags, too. A quick stop at Milagros for a tequila shot to erase that last comment about having a kid and we’re off to Alice in Hulaland. You see, we believe people just don’t wear enough hats these days. So our job this holiday season is to ensure all our friends and family are covered, from derby and fedora to cloche, Balibuntl and trucker. Alice in Hulaland has all these and more from San Diego Hat Co., Goorin, Shady Brady Hat Co., as well as vintage hats from early 20th century Hollywood movie sets. Venture up Haleakala Highway and you’ll find a couple hidden treasure troves of unique, local gifts. In Kula, stop by Keokea Gallery for one-of-a-kind art or next door at Fong Store for a dollar hot dog—although hot dogs don’t generally wrap well so you might just want to eat the evidence. There’s Kula Lavendar Farm, too, where you can get any number of locally made lavender products like soaps, candles, culinary rubs and other great-smelling, relaxing and tasty purple things. Then there’s Kula Marketplace—a nearly department store-sized place filled with local art, handmade candles, jewelry, clothing, gourmet foods, wines and real orchids cast in silver (Forever Maui Orchids). There’s Maui jams and jellies like Jeff’s Li Hing Mui Mango Jam, local artist Mark Hickson’s Pele Ware with bits of actual lava rock embedded in ceramic bowls, and The Original Slipper—a decorative wall hanging, spoon rest, paperweight, napkin holder or whatever. No upcountry shopping extravaganza would be complete without a quick stop—or in our case, a few hours—spent in Makawao. If it’s art you’re looking for, you may be overwhelmed with the possibilities at galleries like Viewpoints, David Warren, Deybra, Maui Hands and more. You’ll also encounter a bevy of boutiques, where you’ll find gorgeous designer wear, stylish beaded jewelry and fabulous shoes—like the Calleen Cordero “Sarita,” a pair of distressed silver Mary Janes at The Mercantile—all of which we can’t afford but hey, if you’ve got the dough, more power to you. But amidst all the shopping you’ll inevitably do for yourself, there are some great eclectic finds: Zen Wind capiz shell chimes at Collections, skidless yoga towelmats in a rainbow of colors at The Mercantile, Hawaiian print tablecloths at Holiday & Co., cowboy boot purses with rhinestones and fur trim at Aloha Cowboy Western Wear & Tack, and vintage decanters at Pink by Nature. Then congratulate yourself with a hot cocoa, hot toddy or hot paniolo—hey, it’s one-stop shopping—for a day well-spent in marathon gift-buying Upcountry.

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New Year Baby Phat Apple Bottoms Johnny Girl Makaveli G-Unit Big Daddy Low Rider Joker Brand Pelle Pelle

New Gear

Urban Wear in Paradise

Maui Mall • 70 E Kaahumanu Ave • 871-6131

Santa’s Adult Helpers!

Holiday Savings!

209

$

IT’S A PRE-HOLIDAY

SALE

Full size only Natural or

20-50%

OFF

Selected Toys, Videos, DVD’s, Magazines & Lingerie

Cherry finish reg $299

P l a t f o rm B e d F r a m e Select from 3

Open Daily from10am til Midnight 10am to 7pm Sundays 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku, HI 96793

Off 20% t o m s All Cu r & e Cov s o ry Acces r s O rd e

frame styles.

(808)249-2449

Canvas futon cover included

st ret! e B s ’ i Kihe Kept Sec

Happy Holidays!

Village General Store at

Full Size H a rd w o o d F r a m e

Village by the Sea

• Groceries • Sundries • Phone Cards • Ice Cream N ELECTIO S R E • Beverages E rs) TB OLDESurvey by Custome C D • Wine E T VO i (S in Kihe • Beer • Liquor Please observe Village by the Sea parking lot rules while shopping. • Cigarettes

w/ Plush P re m i u m F u t o n

649

$

reg $904

Tues.-Fri. 10-5, Sat. 10-2 285 Hukilike St. Kahului Sit on it today, Sleep on it tonight!

871– 6406 Sale ends Dec 24, 05

Locally Owned & Operated...Serving Hawai’i Since 1985

Open 7 Days • 10am-9pm • 938 S. Kihei Rd • 874-0335

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Experience kava

cus s • Fo Pain s e r t S ve • Lose ally • Relie x a l e u t R iri ct Sp e n n o C

I s l a n d Ta c o Fresh Fish Chicken or Pork Tacos Catering Available Mon.-Sat. 11am-2pm & 9pm-3am Sun. Sunset-2am

AH U LU I K • D A I RY RO 8 7 1 -164a1m4- 9p m 3 3 3 . DA open

LOCATED AT PARADICE BLUZ ON FRONT STREET

Normal Hours Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner Open Daily: 7:30am-10.30pm Dinner served 5pm-10pm

Christmas Day Homestyle New American Comfort Food

(Sunday. December 25th) Special Hours Breakfast & Lunch 7:30-2:00 Dinner 3:00-9:00 LIMITED MENU ALL DAY

Highlights from Our

Christmas Menu Reservations Recommended 874-3779

l Appetizers

NY Steak and Eggs

Ahi tuna dusted with cajun spices, seared and served over cabbage. Garnished with pickled ginger Kaiware sprouts and Wasabi

l Lunch

Blackened Ahi

Two eggs any style and a 6 oz NY Steak with toast

The Blues Burger

Crispy Crabcakes Lump Crab, lightly bound and breaded with cornflakes & served with tangy remoulade sauce

Shrimp Cocktail Six large poached shrimp served with spicy cocktail sauce

l Salads

1/2 pound charbroiled beef patty with lettuce, tomato and red onion on a toasted bun

Fresh Fish Sandwich Fresh fish of the day served with lettuce, tomato, and red onion topped with coleslaw and tartar sauce on a toasted bun

Turkey Breast Deluxe

Stella’s Holiday Salad Upcountry greens tossed with red wine vinaigrette, dried cranberries, walnuts & feta cheese

Sliced roasted turkey with lettuce, tomato and cranberry mayo on sourdough

l Dinner Entrees Turkey Dinner

Classic Caesar Salad

Traditional meal served with mashed potatoes, stuffing, gravy, vegetables and cranberries

Hearts of romaine tossed with home made croutons & Parmesan cheese

Prime Rib

l Breakfast

Served with mashed potatoes, au jus, horseradish& vegetables

Meaty Scramble

Pan Seared Onaga

Three eggs scrambled with ham, bacon and jack cheese

With a lemon-caper butter sauce, rice pilaf and vegetables

Eggs Benedict

Stir Fry

Two eggs poached on a toasted English muffin topped with homemade hollandaise sauce. Choice of ham, turkey or ham with lox

An array of mixed vegetables sautéed in a teriyaki sauce served over white rice with Tofu with Chicken

WHERE PEOPLE & FOOD OF GOOD TASTE COME TOGETHER! IN OUR NEW LOCATION - AZEKA II - 874-3779

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Burritos! Nachos! Salsa Bar!

Island Fish Tacos Grilled Steak, Chicken Vegetarian MAUI Lahaina Square, Lahaina • 661-8883 Kamaole Beach Center, Kihei • 879-5005 Napili Plaza, Napili • 665-0222 Kaahumanu Center, Kahului • 871-7726 BIG ISLAND Prince Kuhio Plaza, Hilo • 959-0359 OAHU Mililani Shopping Center, Mililani • 623-9405 Kailua Village Shops, Kailua • 261-4155

www.mauitacoscookbook.com Email: eatmaui@maui.net www.mauitacos.com


ONO KINEGRINDS

BY ASHLEY FITCH ASHLEY@MAUITIME.COM

KAMA’AINA & SEAFOOD

Mañana Garage

SPECIALS ALL WEEK LONG NIGHTLY SPECIALS

Good duck, great service

MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $21.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $21.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $18.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES

At first I was skeptical about taking friends to a restaurant that had the word “garage” in its name. But Mañana Garage proved to be one of the best dining experiences I’ve had on Maui. The artistic décor began at the front door, which used two gas nozzles for handles. The L-shaped bar, constructed from green industrial glass, has seating near the entrance and in the main dining area. Radiant glass chandeliers accent the colorful walls and give a warm and inviting glow to the place. While the interior of the restaurant was appealing with its air-conditioned climate and live Latin music, my friends and I opted for an outdoor spot. After being seated Nambe, our

Kama’aina valid w/ HI ID & 17% Gratuity prior to Discount

HAPPY HOUR DAILY 3-6 $3.00 TROPICALS / WELLS $3.25 BUD-BUD LIGHT-COORS LIGHT $1.00 FRESH OYSTER SHOOTERS DOLLAR DOUBLE ALL DAY

We’ve always been Maui’s one stop for great coffee but did you know we have

Mañana Garage

PHOTO: KIRSTEN GUENTHER

33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ extremely friendly and unbelievably competent server came by. After ordering drinks we turned to dinner. The food at Mañana Garage can best be described as Nuevo-Latin though the eccentric menu incorporates flavors from Hawai’i and the Caribbean. After a long deliberation we decided to share three items: the Adobo BBQ Duck and Sweet Potato Quesadilla, which came with mild green chiles, Jack cheese and a side of chipotle chili salsa ($9.95); the Sesame-Crusted Sashimi served with cucumber jicama escabeche, crispy sweet potato strings and guava chili sauce ($15); and the Macadamia Nut-Crusted Ahi with lilikoi chile sauce, sautéed vegetables and garlic mashed potatoes (Market Price). Our food arrived just as we finished our first round of drinks. After the food was placed and we were reminded what each item was, Nambe asked if we’d like another round. We resisted at first but her enthusiasm for the pineapple Mojitos proved too much to stand. While the drinks were being mixed, we began deconstructing the individual works of art placed before us. My friends started in on the sashimi and Mac-Nut Ahi, while I enjoyed a slice of the quesadilla. The duck was perfectly tender and provided a good juxtaposition with the sweet potatoes and chipotle sauce. I wouldn’t have minded a bit more heat in the sauce, but I could easily eat that dish any day of the week. While I was still marveling at my delicious quesadilla, my friend commented on how well the guava chile sauce complimented his tender and crispy sashimi. He was a little confused by the sweet potato strings and how to go about eating

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Breakfast • Continental and real lunch served 8am-6am Hour:3pm-close •• Happy Kitchen Hours:7am-4:30pm ship worldwide • We 1-800-645-CUPS

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Never forget the cornbread them but the rest of the plate was so pleasing he quickly moved on. As for the last member of our group, she waited until she finished her plate before offering any feedback. She said the fish was served piping hot and cooked to perfection. The side vegetables were tender but not mushy and the mashed potatoes were creamy with just the right amount of garlic infused into them. It’s rare to find a place that offers unique atmosphere, tasty food and superb service. While Mañana Garage is by no means a cheap eat, it’s definitely a value-packed meal. MTW

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We’re Close to Jaws Serving: • High quality, healthy food at reasonable prices • Fresh baked pastries and bread daily • All items available for take-out orders

on coffee drinks

Support Your Village! Kaanapali: Fairway Shops (by Gold’s Gym) Kahana: Gateway Center (by Roy’s) Must present coupon at time of purchase. Exp 12/31/05

In the Pauwela Cannery 375 W. Kuiaha Rd. • Haiku

575-9242 7am-2:30pm, 7 days a week www.pauwelacafe.com

DA KINE CALENDAR

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CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 15, 2005

17


DININGLISTINGS CENTRAL MAUI Ak’s Cafe - Local food to pasta to steaks and fresh fish. M-F 10 a.m.-2 p.m., 4:45 p.m.-8:30 p.m., Sa-Su closed.1237 L. Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774.$ Ale House - Wide selection of food with games. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. $ Alive & Well - Healthy food, juices and plate lunches. Open daily, 8 a.m.-6 p.m. 340 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 244-5950. $ Aloha Grill - Burgers with veggie styles. MonSat, 8 a.m.-8:30 p.m.; Sun, 8 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893-0263. $ Archie’s - Japenese. Daily 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m., M-F 5 p.m.-8 p.m., Fr-Sa 5 p.m.-9 p.m. 1440, Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-9401. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho and more. Mon-Sat, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun, 9 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual Thai food. Open 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Authentic Korean food. 10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Brooklyn Café - Plate lunches and snacks. Open Mon-Fri, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Corner of Market and Main, Wailuku, 877-4950. $ Café Marc Aurel - Coffeehouse, wine bar. MonSat, 6:45 a.m.-10 p.m. or later, 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Mon, 9 a.m.-4 p.m.; Tue-Sat, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 134 W. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Local fast food. Mon-Fri, 11 a.m.8 p.m.; 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Da Sushi Bar - Full menu and a variety of sushi. Open 11 a.m.- 2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Fri-Sat, 5 p.m.-12 a.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-4849. $$ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant - Kung Pao Chicken, Crispy Gau Gee Mein and Honey Walnut Prawns. 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m., 5 p.m.-9 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - Every month you choose 12 meals to make at home. Wed-Sat. Mon-Fri, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m.150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-1414. $$ Dunes Restaurant - Contemporary local cuisine. Mon-Fri, 6:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sat-Sun, 6:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877-7461. $$ El Corita - Mexican food. Mon-Sun 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 790 Eha, Wailuku, 244-5993. $ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. Mon-Sat, 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 2498463. $ Fran’s Island Grill - Local. 6 a.m.-8 p.m. 740 Lower Main, Wailuku, 242-8580. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - European, American. Mon-Fri, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Gianotto’s Pizzeria - Italian. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-8282. $ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Japanese and local cuisine. 7 a.m.-2 p.m., 5 p.m.-9 p.m. Kahului Shopping Center, 871-6977. $$ Ichiban Okazuya Hawaii - Local. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., 4 p.m.-7 p.m. 2133 Kaohu, Wailuku, 2447276. $ IHOP - American. Sun-Thu, 6 a.m.-12 a.m.; FriSat, 6 a.m.-2 a.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Kahili - Lunch with a view, served from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu, 2426000. $$

18

DECEMBER 15, 2005

DINING

Koho Grill & Bar - American. Open daily at 7 a.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-5588. Kozo Sushi - Fast food take-out. Open 9 a.m to 7 p.m. Mon through Sat. 52 N. Market Pl., Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - Warm, tasty glazed doughnuts. Su-Th 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m., Fr-Sa 5:30 a.m.-12 a.m. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Fast food. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ L&L Drive In - Local. Fr-Sa 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Su-Th 8 a.m.9 p.m. Wailuku Town Center, 242-1380. Mama Ding’s Pasteles - Specialty breads and pastries. Open 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 255 Alamaha, Kahului, 877-5796. $ Manaña Garage - Latin-American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Cool, quaint bar. Daily 11 a.m.-5 p.m., Su-Th 5 p.m.-9 p.m., Fr-Sa 5 p.m.-10:30 p.m. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ Marco’s Grill Deli - Italian. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4446. $$ Matsu Restaurant - Japanese. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. 161 Alamaha St., Kahului. 871-0822. Maui Bake Shop - French bakery, deli. 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 2092 Vineyard, Wailuku, 242-0064. $ Maui Coffee Roasters - Coffeehouse, deli. M-F 7 a.m.-6 p.m., Sa 8 a.m.-5 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m.444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-CUPS. $ Maui Beach Hotel - Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the groups who call Hawai’i home. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Mexican-Island fast food. 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu, Kahului, 871-7726. $ Mercado - Latin market. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. 325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $ Mike’s Restaurant - Chinese, local. Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 2447888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from Kitchen Sink burritos to quesadillas. 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Rosie’s - Local. 8 a.m.-close. 1322 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-1471. $ Ruby’s - American ‘50s cafe. Su-Th 7 a.m.-9 p.m., FrSa 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. 11 a.m.-2 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$ Sam Sushi - Japanese. Open Mon-Fri, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sat, 5-9 p.m. 1951 E. Vineyard St., Wailuku, 2492420. $$ Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites. 6 a.m.-10 p.m. 97 Wakea Ave., Kahului, 877-0121. $ Simply Healthy Cafe - Healthy Hawaiian food. Open 11 am - 2 pm, M-F 95 Mahalani St.,Cameron Center, Wailuku. 249-8955. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Bakery, deli. Mon-Thu, 7 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Fri, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m; Sat, 7 a.m.- 4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893-0700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Chinese. 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 E. Ka’aumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - American. 8 a.m.3 p.m., 4 p.m.-9 p.m. 197 N. Market St., Wailuku, 2444100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Desserts, breads, sandwiches, salads and soups. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. MonSat. 1740 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Conveyor-belt sushi! Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, M-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Sandwiches, salads. Open Mon-Fri, 7 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sat, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-4 p.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-8779. Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, corned beef, sashimi, salads. 5:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. 359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local-style cuisine since 1944. Su, TuTh 6 a.m.-11 p.m., Fr-Sa 6 a.m.-10 p.m., M 6 a.m.-3 p.m. 1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees. Featuring DJ and Karaoke. Open 10:30-2 a.m. 1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit-down dining. 10 a.m.-10 p.m. 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-8:30 p.m. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with several choices of seafood. M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sa 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $


DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Affordable Chinese cuisine, delicious noodle dishes. 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, ice cream shakes, bagels, coffees, sandwiches and soups. 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Take-out seafood, chicken, ribs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Amigo’s - Authentic Mexican food. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere. 5 p.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 8758800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list. Open Mon-Sat, 5-9 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Burgers, local plates, fresh island fish, comfort foods and sandwiches. M-Sa 7 a.m.-8 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ BadaBing! - Italian. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188. $$ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon, sandwiches, salads, smoothies and coffee drinks. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, 875-7668. $ Big Wave Cafe - Pacific Rim cuisine. 7:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - California, Island cuisine. Poolside. 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea, 8751234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Mediterranean cuisine. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi. 11 a.m-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. 6 a.m.-11 a.m. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874-1111. $$ Caffe Ciao - Italian cuisine baked in a Kiawe wood oven. 12 p.m.-3 p.m., 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224. $$$ Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffee, espressos, cappucinos, lattes, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. M-Sa 7 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner. Open 24 hours. 2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $ Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, salads, hot dogs, potato salad and saimin. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 145 N. Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Enrique’s Restaurant - Mexican food with vegetarian items. Open Mon-Sat, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Sun, 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-2910. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar. 11:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., 5:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 2445862. $ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Open 8 a.m.9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2607. $$ Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods - A fantastic salad bar and healthy natural foods. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 875-4356. $ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads and “food for gringos.� Open 5 p.m. to 2 a.m. Mon.-Sat. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - Organic foods that are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open Mon thru Sat, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Keoki’s Fish ‘N Chips - Ono Fish & Chips. Open for breakfast at 7 a.m. Kukui Mall, next to Starbucks, 891-1400. $ Kihei Caffe - Breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches, huli chicken and fresh fish. 5 a.m.-2 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 8792230. $ L&L Drive In - Local. 4:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Piilani Village Center, Kihei. 875-8898.

LETTERS

NEWS

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$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Life’s A Beach - Nachos, burritos, prime rib and grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8010. $ Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees with many not listed on the menu. M-F 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Sa-Su 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more in a fun, upbeat tiki-fied atmosphere. 11 a.m.-2 a.m.1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and continental cuisine. Open daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - Beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, coffee, fruit smoothies and shakes. 6:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in juices and island spices. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer. 7 a.m.-2 a.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. $ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. 5:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879-7224. $$$ OutBack Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-onthe-barbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. 281 Pi’ikea Ave, Kihei, 879-8400. $$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,� salads and wraps. MSa 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875-7679. $ The Place - Eclectic. 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 243-2206. $$ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 4:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees. 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. Pi’ilani Shopping Center, 303 Pi’ikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei Restaurant - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. 5:15 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7555. $$$ Seawatch - Hawai’i regional cuisine. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m-3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Open for lunch Wed-Fri; dinner 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8366. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. 5:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. Breakfast, lunch and dinner with daily specials. 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m., 5 p.m.-10 p.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including half-pound burgers and deli sandwiches. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0602. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Local, Japanese and Chinese cuisine, along with some Korean dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $ Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory and sweet nibbles and an excellent wine list. Open Tue-Sun, from 5 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-8711. $$ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Island luxury in ambience and cuisine. Su-M 11 a.m.-11 p.m., tu-Sa 11 a.m.-11 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab, New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific cuisine with a blend of cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 p.m. Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-8385. $$ K

CafÊ Mambo - Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572-0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hearty and healthy grub from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940s-style urban bistro serving breakfast, lunch and dinner from 6 a.m. to 9:30 p.m. daily. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. Catering and take-out available. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572-2666. $ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking with aloha-filled ambience and local musicians. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Fresh fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere with a sushi bar, indoor and lanai dining. 120 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8844. $$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual, simple, affordable menu. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin, teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu. 3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Upcountry’s familystyle restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $

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UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - Espresso bar, sandwiches, ice cream. 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 90 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha ’Aina - Large variety of omelets, island fish, chicken katsu. Tue-Sat, 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sun, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$ CafÊ 808 - Local diner-style. Open daily from 6 a.m.8 p.m. 4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-4877. $ CafÊ Des Amis - Delicious crepes and Mediterranean fare. 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5796323. $

DINING

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A&E

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La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai. Open Wed thru Sun, 8:30 a.m. to 9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. Sun thru Thu; 6 a.m. to midnight Fri and Sat. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh fish at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.� 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579-8488. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic, fresh and tasty Mexican cuisine. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579-8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - The hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low-fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina, with nachos, burritos, ensaladas. 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ Vasi Gourmet - The best cakes and pastries around. Open 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku Marketplace, 575-9588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

$YDLODEOH(YHU\6DWXUGD\ 6XQGD\$030 &KDPSDJQHRU-XLFH,QFOXGHG

Expires 12/31/05 ([SLUHV



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DININGLISTINGS Special Acupuncture Facial packages

Holiday 90 min. Massage Special $65

In Historical Wailuku Town

Now Open! •Dinner served nightly 5:30pm - 10:00pm

•Late Night Café Thurs, Fri & Sat 10:00pm - midnight

•Live entertainment 7 nights a week

•Free valet parking

WM The Restaurant

Fine Dining At It’s Best Building Seven, Honokowai Marketplace 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd Lahaina, Maui 96761 808 667 7898

WEST MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Cantina - Local food. 222 Papalaua St., Lahaina. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Experience the traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, shish kebab, falafel and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-4300. $ The Bakery - Freshly baked breads and pastries. Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Wide variety of tapioca. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-5566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and sushi. 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Banyan Tree - Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist. Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. 2780 Keka’a Dr., Ka’anapali, 662-3210. $$ BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Island cuisine, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ Breakwall Cafe - Coffeehouse with snacks. Open daily 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Southern foods with “Forrest Gump” theme. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. $$ Canoes - Polynesian-American. Open 11 a.m.2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - American. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 667-5444. $ Cheeseburger in Paradise - American. 8 a.m.10 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods. Open daily. 2580 Keka’a Dr., Fairway Shops, Ka’anapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall. Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food. Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $ Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style dinner. Food served 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema, Lahaina, 667-0908. $ K Curry-In-A-Hurry - Vegetarian curry dishes. Open TueSat, 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-4370. $ David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667-5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza, sandwiches, salads and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesia. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Maui’s own restaurant brewery, with rotisserie grill. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-3474. $$ Fish Market - Fresh Fish. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 3600 L.Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokawai. 661-9888. $ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining with pizza and pasta. Open 11 a.m. to 12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Full breakfast and lunch menu, casual atmosphere and beautiful oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661-8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old Hawaiian-style coffeehouse. Open 5:30 a.m. to 6 p.m. daily. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and haupia pie. Old Lahaina Center, 667-7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s-style. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali, 667-6636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8422. $$$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever! Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food. 3350 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $ Jonny’s Burger Joint - American-Mexican food served to midnight. 2395 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabob - Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs. Lahaina Marketplace, 661-9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar. Open 5:30-10 p.m.; Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ L&L Drive In - Local. 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Lahaina Cannery mall. 1221 Honoap’ilani Rd. 661-9888. Lahaina Coolers - Eclectic American, with late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-7082. $

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value. Coupon expires 8-31-06

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$26,788

$13,988

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$11,488

2005 Nissan Maxima 3.5SE

00 Nissan Frontier 4WD

#42372, lic. MNP525

#42583, lic. MGB639

$19,988

$18,388

03 Mazda 6

03 Nissan Sentra SE

2005 Mazda 3 Hatchback

04 Ford Ranger XLT Extra Cab

#42638, lic. HDP133

#42550, lic. MJW474

#42331, lic. MNB948

#42303, lic. MLS987

$34,788

$19,988

$34,788

$19,988

05 Toyota Camry LE

95 Hummer H1

05 Pontiac GTO 6.0

#42617, lic. MNJ839

42530, lic. #MKH410

#42614, lic. MMR299

$14,788

$25,988

05 Toyota Tundra iForce V8

#42562, lic. MKG809

#42615, lic. MNJ647

$27,988

$14,988

05 Ford Freestar SE 3rd Row Seating #42390, lic. MNP530

2005 Ford F150 Crew Cab

96 Ford Explorer XLT

#42326

#42504, lic. MBV418

00 VW Golf Show Car! Must See! Over $90K spent to produce this one of a kind import!, lic. MNJ682

#42411, Lic. MNP911

#42209, lic. MNP079

$8,988

$21,488

01 Toyota 4-Runner SR5

00 Honda S2000 Convertible

#42324, lic. MNP575

$26,788

03 Buick Rendezous CX

$20,788

05 Ford Escape XLT

Hablamos Espanol!

03 Chevy Tahoe #41954, Lic. MMZ431

Jim Falk Motors of Maui 270-2600 • 260 Hana Hwy., Kahului

SALES HOURS OF OPERATION MONDAY THRU SATURDAY: 8AM-8PM / SUNDAY: 1OAM-6PM

*OAC Prices plus tax, lic., registration fee and $195 Jim Falk Motors doc. fee. Credit on approval. Special down payment terms with bank approval only. Vehicles subject to prior sale and may not be exactly as shown. Sale prices may be withdrawn at any time. New vehicle prices are after all incentives and rebates are applied. Ask dealer for complete details. Sale ends 12/22/05.

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DININGLISTINGS Lahaina Fish Co. - Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $ Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar Cosmopolitan. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9090. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. MonSun. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining with pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 6672288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining and organic whole grains cuisine.1307 Front St., Lahaina, 6679394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and macaroni salad. Napili Plaza, 665-6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 667-1929. $$ K Maui Sushi - Full sushi bar inside Bamboo Bar and Grill. 5-11 p.m. 505 Front St, Lahaina. 2812775. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, juices and island spices. Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $

Mercado - Latino/Mexican market. Open Mon-Fri, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m. 3636 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-5900. $ Michael Anthony’s Pizza - Gourmet pizza delivery from Lahaina to Kapalua. 5 p.m.-close. 669-7499. $$ Moose McGillycuddy’s - American, bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $ Mr. Sub - Specialty sandwiches, salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast. Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662-0890. $ Nagasako Okazu-ya - Local deli. 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Old Lahaina Center, Lahaina, 661-0985. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Japanese. Maui Marriott, Ka’anapali, 667-1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. Open 10 a.m. to 2:30 p.m. and 4:30 to 9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Reasonably priced tapas, Hawaiian style menu for dinner. 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s Italian bistro with pasta, pizza and salads. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $

Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636. $ Pad Thai - Thai, local. Open daily. 658 Front St., Lahaina. $ Pipeline Pizza - Fast food. Su-Th 8a.m.-9:30p.m., Fr-Sa 8a.m.-10p.m. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 661-7888. $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, salads and Greek gyros. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Plantation House - Hawaiian-Mediterranean cuisine. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $ Quizno’s Subs - Toasted subs. Open Mon-Sat, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Sun, 12-8 p.m. 170 Papalaua Street, Lahaina Mall, 667-5111. $ Reilley’s - Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana, 667-7477. $$$ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees in an upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30-10 p.m. 4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant & Tavern American. Whalers Village, Ka’anapali, 661-3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. 5-10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar Japanese, Island. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Pacific-Rim, eclectic. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500. $$ Smoke House - BBQ, American. Open 11:30 a.m.10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Italian. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667-4727. $$$

Sports Club Kahana Grill - Healthy deli. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m. to 4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $ Terrace Restaurant - Breakfast, 6:30-11 a.m. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had it, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667-2814. $ Tropica - Steaks and fresh fish. Open 5:30-9:30 p.m. Westin Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open daily, delivery 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-6773. $ WM-The Restaurant - Metropolitan cuisine. Open daily, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898. $$$ Zushi - Japanese. 811 Front St., Lahaina. 67-5142.

For corrections or to get your listing in this section, please fax 661-0446

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The King Kong of Film Festivals: First Light Check p. 28 for showtimes and descriptions [FILM] Where else can you see a movie about krumping (Rize), a Jim Jarmusch dramedy with Bill Murray as an aging Don Juan searching for the son he may have fathered 20 years ago (Broken Flowers), and a documentary described as “Burning Man happening in India, and a Los Angeles filmmaker, a practicing Buddhist, documeting the festival” (Naked in Ashes) by the Village Voice’s Elizabeth Zimmer? And all on the largest 35mm screen in Hawai’i? Yeah, I think you know...

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 661-0446 ★ ATOMIC ★

TATTOO

Dr.Nat Available for private events, parties & weddings

(3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band

JAXON, FELIX & ERIC HAVE MOVED COME CHECK OUT THE NEW SHOP

Rio Ritmo Playing at Casanova New Year’s Eve Salsa y Samba y Ritmo Latino Music starts 9:45pm $25. cover

Since 1998 10am-10pm Daily

113A Prison St. Upstairs at Prison & Front • 667-2156

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Call 572-9536 for booking or visit website www.drnat.com

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ThIS WEEK’S PICKS by Samantha Campos

Pato Banton & The Mad Caddies Thursday, Dec. 15, 6:30 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Amphitheater [MUSIC] We already know that Pato Banton is an amazing and established musician (below right), so let’s focus on the Mad Caddies because they’re new to me. And, let’s be honest, we’re gonna do what I want to do. It was a dark and stormy night in August of ’95 when a mad scientist stitched together a creation that would evolve into what is the Mad Caddies we find today. Okay, so there probably wasn’t a scientist and I have no idea what the weather was like, but the dates are correct so get off my back unless you’re pullin’ my hair and spankin’ me. I would classify them as “soft-core punk rock”. They swear, scream, thrash and rock. But they also croon, sway and blow…wind instruments! But, don’t classify them as ska. I don’t think they like that very much. You can tell these guys are fun and I bet they turn this mutha out. Tickets are $30 presale. Doors open at 5:30 p.m. Purchase tickets online @ www.ticketmaster.com or call 1-877-750-4400. [HEIDI KING]

THURSDAY

Here Come the Suns Friday, 9:30 p.m. at Charley’s [MUSIC] You voted them Best Rock Band on Maui in this year’s Best Of issue. Although Voodoo Suns’ Anastasia and Nils occasionally rock the blues covers, this gig’s in celebration of the release of their alloriginal CD, Songs from the Haleakala Kitchen—an album apparently recorded in an old farmhouse kitchen. Yeah, Maui style! Only, you know, with help from key producer Walter Becker of Steely Dan. Yeah, he might know a thing or two. Anyway, Bob Jones opens and the VSuns go on at 11 p.m. Prizes, giveaways and special guests all night long. I’d like to encourage “naked frolicking and rock n’ roll depravity” but we don’t wanna get anyone in trouble seeing as how Charley’s is now one of TWO bars in Paia that plays live music these days. So just bring your ID, have fun and don’t poke anybody’s eye out, ‘k?

Author, Author! Saturday, 12 p.m. at Borders Bookstore in Kahului [BOOK SIGNING] A Christmas House is the true story of George Skinner, a guy who contracted polio back in 1934 when he was just 22. Despite ending up in an iron lung, Skinner attributes community support for getting him out and walking again. To thank them, he began building an elaborate Christmas display at his Hollywood home. Written by Skinner’s daughter Georja, the book tells one of those inspirational, heartwarming stories that people can’t get enough of around the holidays. A former television sound mixer, Georja Skinner has lived in Hawai’i since 1980 and served as Maui’s first film commissioner in 1994. Her book must be good, because Stefanie Powers loved it. “[It’s] a charming memoir of ordinary people doing extraordinary things at a time when making dreams come true was what our country was all about,” said the star of Herbie Rides Again, Sky Heist and, of course, Hart to Hart. For more information check out www.christmashouseonline.com. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

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Bah Humbug? Nah! Friday-Sunday, 7:30 p.m.; SaturdaySunday, 2 p.m. at Iao Theater [STAGE] After so many years I’m sure we all know the story of Scrooge. How an incorrigible old bastard who hates everyone, and most of all Christmas, spends the Christmas Eve of his life partying with three ghosts: The ghost of Christmas past, present and yet to come. But no matter how many times I see the show, I still love it. Recently, I attended a MAPA production of Scrooge and was magically transported into a local theatre house from 1843. The night opened with surround-sound caroling as the actors spilled from all corners of the playhouse. Scrooge kept the stage alive as he was unwillingly taken from place to place, starting with a visit from his well-meaning ghastly ex-partner Jacob Marley (Steven Nikolau). My favorite of the tour guide trio was definitely the Ghost of Christmas Present (Bill Schnitzer). He just seemed so perfectly in character in his out-of-characterness, with his dancing toes and carefree humor. Eventually, Little Tiny Tim (Tommy Rogers) found a way into not only Scrooge’s heart but mine as well, giving spirit to all the commotion. By the end of the evening, Scrooge was loving life and loving people and I was feeling a little choked up and moved to almost tears by the performance. I never tire of being reminded to enjoy every moment in life! For more info, call 244-8760. [REBECCA NORTHCUTT]

DAY

The Godfather Saturday, 10 p.m. at Hapa’s [DJ] Jesse Saunders. Yeah, so he’s the Godfather of House Music. What? The man’s been doin’ it for over 20 years. Just imagine that record collection! Since 1984, Saunders has had his finger on the groove of dance music—his productions, accolades and fist-pumping fans stretch on for miles. He is the original, the rave master, the head of this house, okay?! Go experience it how it’s meant to be spun, from the true pioneer of House, the venerable Jesse Saunders.

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

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FILMCRITIQUE

GIFT CERTIFICATES ARE A GREAT

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

Age of Unreason

STOCKING STUFFER!

Edward R. Murrow and Joseph McCarthy live again

X-MAS DINNER 12/25 TURKEY & FIXINGS

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Good Night, and Good Luck

★★★★★ Rated PG/90mins.

David Strathairn channeling Edward R. Murrow

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“TwoEBERT Thumbs Up!” & ROEPER

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Fueled With Endless Invention.” Roger Ebert, EBERT & ROEPER

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Wallace Theaters Maui Mall Megaplex Cinema 808/249-2222 Wallace Theaters Warf Cinemas 808/249-2222 CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORY OR CALL FOR SOUND INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES

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DECEMBER 15, 2005

FILM

U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy was probably the closest thing to a fascist demagogue this country has ever seen. Nicknamed “Tailgunner Joe” despite the fact that he never flew in combat before, during or after World War II, the Republican McCarthy represented Wisconsin in the U.S. Senate for much of the 1950’s. During those years, McCarthy charged without a shred of evidence that the U.S. State Department and U.S. Army were thoroughly infiltrated by communists and accused Secretaries of State Dean Acheson and General of the Army George C. Marshall of being “traitors.” He chaired star chamber-like Senate hearings where he bulied berated rows of citizens on live television. Surveying the madness, CBS News reporter Edward R. Murrow called it an “age of unreason.” Murrow came late to the fight against McCarthy, waiting until 1954 to expose the alcoholic Senator on his program See It Now as a rambling, irresponsible thug. The fact that others—including Republican officials in the Eisenhower Administration— had been going after McCarthy for years is and isn’t important to understand George Clooney’s Good Night, and Good Luck. Those seeking a rigorous treatment of the very public fight between Murrow—whose London Blitz broadcasts during World War II earned him legendary status as a newsman—and the red-baiting Senator will be disappointed. Clooney cut a lot of corners and made Murrow seem a lot more heroic than he ever was. Still, Clooney made a movie, not a historical analysis. And it’s a fascinating one at that. Shot in black and white both for dramatic purposes and to make it possible to weave actual McCarthy footage into the

movie (screening audiences reportedly complimented Clooney on the “actor” he hired to play McCarthy), Clooney’s picture shows reporters in action better than any film since All The President’s Men. We see Murrow (David Strathairn) at his anchor desk, the air thick with cigarette smoke as he prepares to go on the air, while his producer Fred Friendly (Clooney) sits his feet during the broadcast, tapping Murrow’s leg when the cameras start rolling. And a thick sense of dread fills the screen as Clooney’s Friendly and Strathairn’s Murrow wait to see CBS boss William Paley (Frank Langella). No reporter—even one with Murrow’s credentials—enjoys talking to corporate about news budgets, and Clooney brings real tension to the scenes with Paley. It’s too bad the subplot involving CBS News employees played by Robert Downey, Jr. and Patricia Clarkson seemed tacked on. By contrast, I had many questions about CBS anchor Don Hollenbeck (Ray Wise) whose appearances in the film are far too fleeting. McCarthy drank himself to death in 1957, a bitter wreck of a man who lost complete control of his judgment a decade earlier. But his Age of Unreason seems with us once again. In the days after the Sept. 11, 2001 terrorist attacks, Lynn Cheney, wife of Vice President Dick Cheney, compiled a McCarthy-like list of college professors she thought “soft” on terror. Since then we’ve learned of secret prisons, torturing suspects and continuing calls for increased domestic surveillance. Clooney obviously intended his film as a warning that McCarthy’s ghost still walks among us. In that, he’s wildly succeeded. Good Night, and Good Luck screens as part of the First Light Film Festival on Wednesday, Dec. 21 at 5 p.m. at the Castle Theater. MTW


SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES MAUI FILM FESTIVAL PLEASE SEE P. 28 - for First Light Film Festival listings!

New This Week THE FAMILY STONE - (PG13) - Comedy, Family - A Christmas flick chock full of movie stars. This one is garaunteed to make us all laugh, cry and walk out of the theatre holding hands. Maybe that’s taking it a step too far, but we’re definitely dealing with a predictable feel-good movie in the spirit of the holidays. 103 min. (Heidi King)

Now Showing AEON FLUX - (PG-13) - Action - In the future the seemingly perfect world is anything but and there is no freedom, only government control. Aeon Flux (Charlize Theron) is the head agent of a rebel force and on the front line of a secret fight. 125 min. (Gabrielle Poccia) THE CHRONICLES OF NARNIA - (PG) Action-Adventure, Fantasy - This story follows the exploits in World War II England of four Pevensie siblings who enter the world of Narnia through a magical wardrobe while playing a game of “hide and seek.” Once there, the children discover a charming, peaceful land inhabited by talking beasts, dwarfs, fauns, centaurs and giants that has become a world cursed to eternal winter by the evil White Witch. 140 min. (Kimberly L. Welch) CHICKEN LITTLE - (G) - Animated, Comedy Chicken Little is trying to mend his reputation. He’s already made an ass out of himself by falsely telling the whole town that the sky was falling and now is just trying to lay low. Unfortunately, he discovers that the sky really is going to fall and he and his misfit friends must get the whole town out of harm’s way. 96 min. (GP) HARRY POTTER & THE GOBLET OF FIRE PG - Fantasy - Harry finds himself selected as an underaged competitor in a dangerous multi-wizardary school competition. Once again he is the center of controversy. 165 min. (GP) ICE HARVEST - (R) - Comedy - A successful

mob lawyer and his partner attempt to steal 2 million dollars from a Kansas City boss. As they try to get out of town during a major storm, they begin to draw attention with their questionable behavior. 100 min. (GP) JUST FRIENDS - (PG-13) - Comedy - Home for the holidays, Chris is determined to get the girl of his dreams, Jamie, to see him as a sex object and not just a good friend. Sexual frustration ensues. 109 min. (GP) KING KONG - (PG13) - Action-Adventure - In a massive jungle on Skull Island, creatures from prehistoric times have been protected and hidden for millions of years. A group of nosy filmmakers discover a giant gorilla so of course they have to go on a great-ape search. But their quests puts them up against not only Kong but his dinosaur enemies, too. Yippee for them, a beautiul woman catches his eye so they can subdude him and take him back to New York. Why?! You know he’s just going to reek havoc on the city! See, you should have just left him alone. Starring Naomi Watts, Jack Black and Adrien Brody. 187 min. (KLW) PRIDE AND PREJUDICE - (PG) - Romance - From Jane Austen’s classic story of a boy and girl who pretend like they don’t like the other and meanwhile fall hopelessly in love. It goes to show that love conquers all. 126 min. (GP) RENT - (PG-13) - Musical, Drama - Young actors struggle to cover the cost of living in New York City while dealing with the rest of life’s challenges. A modern version of the opera La Boheme. 145 min. (GP) SYRIANA - (R) - Thriller, Drama - In a tangled mess of lies, deception and amoral realities George Clooney plays a moralistic CIA agent whose realizing that he’s dedicated his life to a less-than-honest career, while Matt Damon plays an oil broker who seeks redemption in a partnership with an idealistic Gulf prince (Alexander Siddig) as he questions his own life decisions through the agony of a family tragedy. 123 min. (Tallia Monterroso) WALK THE LINE - (PG-13) - Drama - Joaquin Phoenix stars in this look at the rise of the rebellious music icon Johnny Cash. Reese Witherspoon plays June Carter, the love of his life. Think Ray, but country. 135 min. (Anthony Pignataro) YOURS, MINE AND OURS - (PG) - Comedy - A military man meets a hippy woman, they get married, then their combined 18 children must eithe radjust to a crowded lifestyle or break up the parents partnership. 100 min. (GP)

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL Castle Theater, 572-3456 Please see p. 28 for First Light film schedule!

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee Chronicles of Narnia - PG - Fr, M-Tu (11:30, 12:15, 1, 2:30, 3:15, 4, 5:30), 6:30, 7, 8:45, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (11:30, 12:15, 1, 2:30, 3:15), 4, 5:30, 6:30, 7, 8:45, 9:30, 10 Family Stone - PG13 - Fr, M-Tu (11:15, 1:40, 4:15), 6:45, 9:15, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:40), 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Harry Potter - PG-13 - Th (11:15, 12, 2:50, 3:30), 6:40, 7:10, Fr-W (12, 3:30), 7:10 King Kong - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11, 11:45, 12:30, 3, 3:45, 4:30), 7:20, 7:45, 8:30, Sa-Su (11, 11:45, 12:30, 3), 3:45, 4:30, 7:20, 7:45, 8:30 Pride and Prejudice - PG - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11, 1:40, 4:25), 7:10, 9:55, Sa-Su (11, 1:40), 4:25, 7:10, 9:55 Syriana - R - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11, 11:40, 1:45, 2:25, 4:30, 5:20), 7:15, 8:50, 10, Sa-Su (11, 11:40, 1:45, 2:25), 4:30, 5:20, 7:15, 8:50, 10 Yours, Mine and Ours - PG - Th-Fr, M-Tu (11:20, 2:20, 4:35), 7:30, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:20, 2:20), 4:35, 7:30, 9:45

KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Aeon Flux - PG-13 - Daily (12:30, 2:50), 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Chicken Little - G - Daily (12:55, 3), 5:10, 7:15, 9:15 Ice Harvest - R - Daily (12:40, 2:45), 5, 7:30, 9:45 Just Friends - PG-13 - Daily (12:35, 2:55), 5:15, 7:35, 10 Rent - PG-13 - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:10, 10:05 Walk the Line - R - Daily (12:30), 4:05, 7:05, 9:55

KUKUI MALL 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Chronicles of Narnia - PG - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire - PG13 - Daily (1), 4:15, 7:15, 10:15 King Kong - PG13 - Daily (11:30, 3:15), 7, 10:30 Walk the Line - R - Daily (1:15), 4:30, 7:20, 10

Mmm... geisha

FRONT STREET THEATRE 900 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Chronicles of Narnia - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (4), 7, 10, Sa-Su (1), 4, 7, 10 Syriana - R - Th-Fr, M-W (3:45), 6:45, 9:45, Sa-Su (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:45 Walk the Line - R - Th-Fr, M-W (4:15), 7:35, Sa-Su (12:30), 4:15, 7:35 Yours, Mine and Ours - PG - Th-Fr, M-W (4:30), 7:20, 9:30, Sa-Su (1:30), 4:30, 7:20, 9:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Aeon Flux - PG-13 - Th-Fr, M-W (4), 9:50, Sa-Su 4, 9:50 Family Stone - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (1:45), 4:15, 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:15), 1:45, 4:15, 7, 9:30 Harry Potter - PG-13 - Daily (12), 6:45 Just Friends - PG-13 - Th only (1:30), 4:15, 7, 9:30 King Kong - PG13 - Th-Fr, M-W (11:45, 3:45), 7:45, Sa-Su (11:45), 3:45, 7:45

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FIRSTLIGHT This year the Maui Film Festival’s First Light showcases 50 Academy Award contenders over 14 days. All showings take place at the Maui Arts and Cultural Center’s Castle Theater. Tickets are $10 each. VIP FastPasses cost $40 and include any preferred seating at any four movies, and are available at the Castle Theater box office or Borders. For ticket information call 242-show or visit www.mauifilmfestival.com.

THURSDAY, DEC. 15 5 p.m. JARHEAD – (R) – Drama – Based on the recent memoir of the same name, a bunch of U.S. Marines snipers wait in increasing agitation for the first Gulf War to get started so they can charge in and get some. Stars Jake Gyllenhaal, Jamie Foxx, Peter Sarsgaard and Chris Cooper. 115 minutes. 7:30 p.m. MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA – (PG-13) – Drama – The on-screen version of the true confessions of Japan’s most famous geisha. Look for lots of hotties and lots more bitching. Stars Gong Li, Zhang Ziyi and Michelle Yeoh and Ken Watanabe. 144 minutes.

FRIDAY, DEC. 16 5 p.m. IN HER SHOES – (PG-13) – Drama/Comedy – Two sisters go from hating each other loving each other, or perhaps it’s the other way around. Anyway, it stars Cameron Diaz, Toni Collette, Shirley MacLaine and Mark Feuerstein. 130 minutes. 7:30 p.m. KING KONG – (PG-13) – Action/Adventure – Peter Jackson, who cannot make a movie less than two and a half hours long, has remade the classic tale of a giant ape that overruns Depression-era New York. This time around Naomi Watts plays the delicious blonde that Kong falls for—literally. Ha! Also stars Adrien Brody and Jack Black. 160 minutes.

TWO VERY BIG, ENTHUSIASTIC THUMBS UP.

®

SATURDAY, DEC. 17 2 p.m. WAR OF THE WORLDS – (PG-13) – Sci-fi/Action – Steven Spielberg’s take on H.G. Well’s magnificent novel of the same name concerns a divorced mechanic (Tom Cruise) and his young daughter (Dakota Fanning) as they try to get along in a world where just about everybody else has been vaporized by Martian war machines. 117 minutes. 5 p.m. BALLETS RUSSES – (Unrated) – Dance – A look at the famous Ballet Russes dance troupe that travels from Paris from the end of the 19th century to the 1940’s. 118 minutes. 7:30 p.m. THE FAMILY STONE – (PG-13) – Comedy – This is one of those inevitable holiday comedy pictures, this time about the laid-back son who comes home for the holidays with his hilariously uptight bride-to-be. It stars Claire Danes, Sarah Jessica Parker, Rachel McAdams, Diane Keaton, Dermot Mulroney, Craig T. Nelson and, of course, Luke Wilson. 102 minutes.

MONDAY, DEC. 19 2 p.m. PROOF – (PG-13) – Drama – Anthony Hopkins plays a mathematical genius; Gwyneth Paltrow plays his daughter, who has to deal with his death and legacy. 100 minutes. 5 p.m. SOPHIE SCHOLL: DIE LETZTEN TAGE – (Unrated) – Drama – A look at Scholl, Germany’s most famous anti-Nazi activist, which has already won multiple film awards in that country. 117 minutes. 7:30 p.m. NAKED IN ASHES – (Unrated) – Documentary – A penetrating look at yogis in India who follow a 7,000-year tradition of secret initiations, journeys across the Himalayas and people who give up everything to achieve selfrealization. 108 minutes.

One of the year’s best films.”

####

‘SYRIANA’ IS BRILLIANT. The kind of give-’em-hell filmmaking that matters.” Peter Travers,

“‘SYRIANA’ IS EXPLOSIVE, emotionally engaging and intellectually stimulating. Clooney does a masterful job. We need more movies like this.” Claudia Puig,

“‘Syriana’ is light years from the standard Hollywood movie.

MEATY, INTELLIGENT AND ENGROSSING.” Richard Corliss,

“‘SYRIANA’ IS A MOVIE THAT DEMANDS AND REWARDS CLOSE ATTENTION. It spins a complex, intriguing narrative about oil, terrorism, money and power and is a rich and entertaining experience.” A.O. Scott,

“A FEARLESS AND AMBITIOUS PIECE OF WORK. Filmmaking of the most bravura kind.” Kenneth Turan,

“SIMPLY THE BEST MOVIE I’VE SEEN THIS YEAR. George Clooney should merit serious Oscar ® consideration.” Richard Roeper,

TUESDAY, DEC. 20 2 p.m. THE WEATHER MAN – (R) – Drama/Comedy – Nicholas Cage plays an up-and-coming Chicago weatherman whose life is as every bit chaotic as the movement of clouds and storms through the sky. 102 minutes. 5 p.m. RIZE – (PG-13) – Dance – Photographer David LaChapelle’s directorial debut looks at “krumping,” an intense African-inspired dance style that’s popular with the youth of Los Angeles. 84 minutes. 7:30 p.m. THE SQUID AND THE WHALE – (R) – Drama/Comedy – This occasionally funny, occasionally wrenching tale shows us the Berkman family, set in 1986 Brooklyn. Written by Noah Bambach, who also penned The Life Aquatic, it stars Laura Linney and Jeff Daniels. 88 minutes.

WEDNESDAY, DEC. 21 2 p.m. ELIZABETHTOWN – (PG-13) – Drama/Comedy – Cameron Crowe (the dude who directed Jerry Maguire, Vanilla Sky, etc.) has gone and made another dramatic comedy, this time staring Kirsten Dunst, Susan Sarandan and Orlando Bloom. It’s about a bummed-out shoe designer who finds unexpected love at his father’s funeral. 123 minutes. 5 p.m. GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD LUCK – (PG) – Drama – David Strathairn plays good guy CBS Newsman Edward R. Murrow as he tries to expose—at great professional risk to himself—U.S. Senator Joseph McCarthy for the rogue demagogue that he was. Director George Clooney co-stars as Fred Friendly, Murrow’s producer. 100 minutes. 7:30 p.m. PRIDE AND PREJUDICE – (PG) – Drama – The most recent remake of this classic Jane Austen tale of class and 18th century England, this time starring Keira Knightley, Dame Judi Dench and Angus MacFadyen. 127 minutes.

Wallace Theaters Front Street Theatre 808/249-2222

NOW SHOWING

Wallace Theaters Maui Mall Megaplex Cinema 808/249-2222

CHECK THEATRE DIRECTORY SPECIAL ENGAGEMENTS OR CALL FOR SOUND NO PASSES OR DISCOUNT INFORMATION AND SHOWTIMES COUPONS ACCEPTED

AMPAS, DGA & WGA: YOUR CARD WILL ADMIT YOU AND A GUEST TO ANY PERFORMANCE

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DECEMBER 15, 2005

FILM


Maui Arts &Cultural Center SHOEBOX SCULPTURE

Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

EXHIBITION through DEC 18 Schaefer Gallery MON-SAT 11am-5pm • FREE!

Maui Film Festival’s Year-End Oscar Picks

FIRSTLIGHT

Late Night Specials

through SUN • JAN 1 Schedule: www.mauifilmfestival.com 572-FILM Castle Theater $10 (4-film FastPass avl)

10pm to 1am – 21 & over with I.D.

Naumburg Award-Winning Julliard Musicians! GILLES VONSATTEL, piano FRANK HUANG, violin

THU • JAN 5 7:30 pm Castle Theater • $10, $20, $30

5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

Kapalua 669-6286

SOMETHING TO FIT EVERYONE FOR THE HOLIDAYS!

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The Shops at Kapalua

242-SHOW MON-SAT 10 -6 A

www.mauiarts.org

donor discount

P

food / beverages available

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FREE KARAOKE - DRAFT BEER SPECIALS

KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

TICKET GIFT CERTIFICATES MAKE GREAT GIFTS

BOX OFFICE ONLINE

50% OFF SUSHI & APPETIZERS

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Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

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DECEMBER 15, 2005

29


4-Film VIP FastPasses

BOOKREVIEW

BY ERIC PAUL SHAFFER ERIC@MAUITIME.COM

Makes Great Holiday Gifts

FirstLight 2005-’06 ™

Academy Screenings on Maui

#

Best Films Of 2005

December 15-January 1 Plus Live Music, Flirting, Dinner, Dessert, Libations, Organic Wine, Massage & More

The CandleLight Cafe # Castle Theater - MACC 9 of the 48 Terrific FirstLight Feature Films

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA Thursday, Dec.15, 7:30pm

KING KONG Friday, Dec.16, 7:30pm

BALLETS RUSSES Saturday, Dec.17, 5:00pm

THE FAMILY STONE Saturday, Dec.17, 7:30pm

NAKED IN ASHES Monday, Dec.19, 7:30pm

THE SQUID AND THE WHALE Tuesday, Dec.20, 7:30pm

GOOD NIGHT, AND GOOD LUCK Wednesday, Dec.21, 5:00pm

PRIDE & PREJUDICE Wednesday, Dec.21, 7:30pm

BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN Thursday, Dec.22, 7:30pm

Single FirstLight Tickets - $10 # Available One Hour Before Showtime at the MACC Box Office FirstLight 4-Film VIP FastPass - $40 # Now available at: Maui Arts & Cultural Center Box Office (242-SHOW) and Borders Books & Music (Kahului)

Complimentary Admission to most major Film Industry Guild Members including AMPAS, DGA, WGA, SAG (Nominating Committee Only), HPFA, PGA, ADG, ASC, BAFTA-LA, BAFTA-NY, CDG, MAHG, MPEG, MPSE, VES, ACE and CAS. Guild Members ONLY: RSVP to: 808.579.9553. Sponsors: ABS of Hawaii-Frank Gummich, Aina Maui Properties-Kristina Shugars, Blue Hawaiian Helicopters, FIM Group, The Hollywood Reporter, Island Style Designs, International Mortgage LLC, KAOI Radio Group, Latitudes, Mama’s Fish House, Mana Foods, The Maui News, Morgan Stanley-Greg Chou, Starbucks Coffee, Variety, EVCom Publishing dba Visitor Magazines

www.mauifilmfestival.com 30

DECEMBER 15, 2005

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572.3456

The Stupidest Angel A heartwarming tale of Christmas terror On the twelfth day of Christmas, Chris Moore gave to me 12 stupendous moments… The Stupidest Angel is a great Christmas novel. Death is funny—especially when it happens to someone else. And what better venue for disaster than a Christmas novel? One dude is a jerk jock hoping for heroism and the other a real(tor) A-hole, a contemptible homo sapiens no-thinking chimpanzee would call human. Bottom line: a tale by Moore sucks in the reader like a 275-page bottomlessly hilarious black hole. On the eleventh day of Christmas, Moore gave to me 11 gripping chapters… Times two, that is. Yes, there are 22 chapters, but you try finding 11 of something in this book. On the tenth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me 10 recurring nutjobs… Any writer of fiction finds it difficult convincing readers of the “reality” of a story—a word weaver’s conundrum. Pine Cove is such a chaotic, crazy world many have little trouble believing it. But for those who require further verification, many characters here have appeared in Moore’s previous novels, a paradoxical form of verisimilitude that apparently comforts many readers. Me included. On the ninth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me nine broken windows… Okay, I don’t really know the number but there must have been at least nine after the deadly zombie assault on Church of the Lonesome Christmas Potluck. On the eighth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me eight hungry zombies… What’s Christmas without zombies? The festive dead have been raised by Raziel, the eponymous stupidest angel, whose first Christmas miracle has gone horribly awry due to his horrifically miniscule intellect, a chocological obsession with candy, and the unexpected and wholly accidental murder of Santa Claus. On the seventh day of Christmas, Moore gave to me seven other novels… Two I love are Lamb: the Gospel According to Biff, Christ’s Childhood Pal (for sentimental reasons) and Fluke, a novel of whales, thrumming submarine ooze and much more—and it’s set on Maui. I recommend both highly. On the sixth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me six hearts a-breaking… Ah, the holidays! Hearts soar or swell or

smash. To para-paraphrase Mr. Neil Young, Some get laid, some get tossed, sooner or later, it all seems real. Walk on. On the fifth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me five swift kicks… …from the Warrior Babe of the Outland: “A stunning incarnation of insanity, Molly Michon remains one of Moore’s most fully realized characters,” said the English professor. To whom we sing, “Wipe the board of worthless chalk dust, blah, blah, blah, blah, BLAH, blah, blah, BLAH, BLAH.” On the fourth day of Christmas, Moore gave to me four charming words… “Hosed for the Holidays” a.k.a. Chapter 3, is one of my favorite chapter titles in the whole, wide world. Short, sweet, and simple, this one says it all. On the third day of Christmas, Moore gave to me three caveats… This book is sub-titled “Version 2.0.” According to Moore’s spectacularly loopy and informative website, he writes three caveats: 1) “It’s the same book”; 2) “I’ve written a 32 page bonus chapter”; and 3) “the cover is red.” I

The Stupidest Angel A Heartwarming Tale of Christmas Terror by Christopher Moore, William Morrow, 2004, $14.95. read version one and have no cash for 2.0, so if I miss one chapter, sue me. There’s no reason 2005 couldn’t get any worse. On the second day of Christmas, Moore gave to me two author’s warnings… Moore deflects involuntary, convulsive reader-retching by noting the book contains “tasteful depictions of cannibalism and people in their 40’s having sex.” On the first day of Christmas, Moore gave to me a fruit bat in a pine tree. Some of you may remember Roberto from Island of the Sequined Love Nun. But in my solitary quest to read all of Moore’s novels in reverse compositional order, I have not yet fondled her pages. After a jaunt forward for an Angel, the Nun is next on my list. Like a zombie in a Santa suit, Xmas relentlessly approaches. Hint, hint. Eric Paul Shaffer is author of five books, including Portable Planet and Living at the Monastery, Working in the Kitchen. He received the 2002 Elliot Cades Award for Literature, a local literary prize, and he teaches at the Maui Language Institute. His latest book of poetry is Lähaina Noon. MTW


DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

Pato Banton - Thursday. This is the official Vans Triple Crown series featuring the one and only superstar Pato Banton spreading his Reggae Revolution. Special guest: The Mad Caddies. Tickets: Presale $30. Doors open at 5:30 p.m. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center Amphitheater, 662-8589. Jesse Saunders - Saturday. The Godfather of House Music, with old school funk, disco, R&B, new wave, hip hop, classic rock, etc. Tickets: $10. 9 p.m., Hapa’s Nightclub, 879-9001 or www.groovetickets.com. Neil Sedaka - Sunday. CANCELLED. For more info, call 242-SHOW.

TICKETS ON SALE

Michael Franti & Spearhead - Dec.30-31. A New Year’s celebration with special guests One at Last (formerly Lost at Last) with Jaya Lakshmi and Deva Priyo, along with the charismatic, outspoken, spectacular, musician/poet/activist Michael Franti and accompanied by the soulful, booty shaking, reggae, funky, jazzy, jam music of Spearhead. Tickets: (Dec.30) $30 adv. Gates open at 5 p.m.; (Dec. 31) $50 adv. Gates open at 6 p.m. Discount for both shows $70, until Dec.25. Friday, 6 p.m.; Saturday, 7 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center Amphitheater, 662-8589. Yoga with Michael Franti - Dec. 31. An afternoon workshop of acoustic music and yoga featuring Michael Franti and friends along with yoga teachers Eddie Modestini and Nickie Doane. The emphasis of this class will be “letting go of whatever crap you have--let it go!” and let in fresh and positive energy. This will be a workshop like no other, combining yoga, acoustic music, singing, dance, meditation and playfulness. Tickets: $40 adv, $45 door. 1-4 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center Gymnasium, 662-8589. Gilles Vonsattel & Frank Huang - Jan. 5. These two young Julliard musicians are virtuosos, with a program of electric, energetic and enigmatic piano/violin duets. Both are winners of the prestigious Naumburg International Competition for their respective instruments. Tickets: $30, $20, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Tower of Power - (Rescheduled!) Jan. 9. The renowned horn-driven funk outfit Tower of Power has been making albums and touring the world steadily since the early '70s. Long considered one of the greatest horn sections in the business, the 10 band mem-

bers have collectively and individually recorded with most of the legends of rock, funk, blues, soul and jazz. Tickets: $45, $35, $25. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Ernie Watts Quartet - Jan. 12. Two-time Grammy Award-winning tenor saxophonist Ernie Watts is one of the most versatile and prolific saxophone players on the music scene. In a diverse career that has spanned more than 30 years, he has been featured on more than 500 recordings with his distinctive and soulful sound. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Keb Mo - Jan. 12. Keb Mo draws heavily on the oldfashioned country blues of Robert Johnson, but keeps his sound contemporary with touches of soul and folksy storytelling. He writes much of his own material and to hear Keb Mo play the blues is like watching Jordon play basketball or Gretzky play hockey: A simple thing of beauty. Tickets: $45, $40, $30. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. “From The Top” - Jan. 13. A live taping for the weekly radio series broadcast on National Public Radio which showcases the nation's most exceptional precollege age classical musicians. Host Christopher O’Riley oversees the one-hour program which presents five pre-college age performers or ensembles whose stunning individual performances are combined with lively interviews, unique pre-produced segments, lighthearted sketches and musical games. Tickets: $40, $30, $20, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. The Kanaka‘Ole Family: Generations - Jan. 14. Traditionally, the way of continuing cultural practices was through the family. The Kanaka’ole Family (especially the late Kumu Hula Edith Kanaka’Ole) is renowned for their dedication to continuity of the ancient, rich and vibrant Hawaiian cultural traditions. This evening of talk story and presentation spans three generations of the Kanaka’ole Family: stretching from Edith’s daughters Pua and Nalani to great-grandson Kaumakaiwa. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Eroica Trio - Jan. 15. The Naumburg Award-winning Eroica Trio thrills audiences with their passion, flawless technical virtuosity, irresistible enthusiasm and sensual elegance. Whether playing the great standards of the piano trio repertoire or daring contemporary works, the three fiery, beautiful and intensely talented women who make up this celebrated ensemble electrify the concert stage with performances of depth and precision. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 5 p.m., Castle

Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Shanghai Circus - Jan. 16-17. A perennial favorite for audiences of all ages! Born of a 2500-year Chinese tradition of athleticism and artistry, the Shanghai Circus features acrobats, jugglers, contortionist and other skilled performers who dedicate their life to the achievement of physical excellence. Witness astounding feats of balance, breath-taking acts of body-bending, and daring displays of knife-throwing. Tickets: $22, $16, $10. 7 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. “Footloose” - Jan. 27-28. Presented by Baldwin High School. The story revolves around a Chicago boy who moves to a small farming town during his high school senior year. As if being the new kid in town isn't difficult enough, he soon finds out the town has rigid laws; one being a strict ban on dancing. Footloose has dynamic songs with a rock ‘n’ roll rhythm that will make you want to dance in your seat. Tickets: $14, $10, $7. Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sat-Sun., 2 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Three Phantoms In Concert - Jan. 20. Enjoy three magnificent tenors, Craig Schulman, Kevin Gray and Cris Groenendaal, each of whom has portrayed the legendary Phantom of the Opera on Broadway. They'll sing hit numbers from the shows that made them Broadway stars, including songs from Les Miserables, Guys & Dolls, Man of La Mancha, Sweeney Todd, Kiss Me Kate and Jekyll & Hyde. A delightful evening of some of the most memorable showtunes from the Broadway stage. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Tita Out: What? Again? - Jan. 20-22. Local actress/radio personality Kathy Collins brings back her one-tita show with new stories and special guests Willie K and Eric Gilliom. Chicken-skin stories, Hawaiian history and legends, musical mastery, and pidgin pride! Winner of the Hawaii Music Awards' 2005 Comedy Album of the Year, "Tita" will have you laughing "fo' days"! Tickets: $25. Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Jake Shimabukuro - Jan. 26-29. Known for lightning-fast fingers and revolutionary playing techniques, Jake Shimabukuro is a young master of the ukulele who shatters musical boundaries. He plays music previously unthought-of for the instrument (anything from “The Star Spangled Banner” to jazz standards) and has created groundbreaking new styles with his boundless reserves of energy. Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW. Julia Migenes - Jan. 31. Opera diva, dancer,

Broadway actress, film star, Grammy-winner for the soundtrack of the opera film Carmen, where she played the title role, choreographer of the dance and music recital Passions Latines and author of this onewoman show, Julia Migenes brings passion, sensuality and endless talent to every role. Tickets $35, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Lunasa - Feb. 3. Called an “Irish music dream team” by Folk Roots magazine, this all-star quintet Lúnasa is comprised of alumni from some of the greatest Irish groups of the decade. Named for an ancient Celtic harvest festival in honor of the god Lugh (patron of the arts), Lúnasa redefines traditional music with inventive arrangements and bass-driven grooves that go straight to the heart of the rhythms and steer Irish acoustic music into surprising new territories. Tickets: $30, $20, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. The Lim Family: Generations - Feb. 4.Three generations of the Lim Family (Aunty MaryAnn, Lorna, Elmer, Carrington, Nani Lim-Yap, and even the keiki) join together onstage to perform music and dance… their family tradition! Hailing from Kohala on Hawai‘i Island, frequent Merrie Monarch winners, the Lims, are proud to present the music and dance of their home island, passed along through their family, from one generation of artists to the next. Tickets: $22. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio, Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Keali’i Reichel - Feb. 10-11. One of Hawaii’s most popular performing artists and a respected kumu hula, Maui’s own Keali`i Reichel has captivated audiences with a winning blend of contemporary and traditional Hawaiian music. This Maui-born musician holds a permanent place in Hawaiian music history, with phenomenal success both locally and internationally. He has been awarded a dozen Na Hoku Hanohano Awards, been nominated for a Grammy Award and tours throughout the US and Japan. Tickets: $38, $30, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469. Elvis Costello - April 2. With songs like “Pump It Up”, “Watching The Detectives” and “Every Day I Write the Book” (our favorite!)—oh, we could go on and on. For over 25 years, Costello along with his backing group, The Attractions, has changed the face of modern Rock and Roll. Special guest Steve Nieve. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-SHOW.

CRAFT FAIR

Napili Craft Fair - Mon, Wed and Sat, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Napili Plaza. Christmas theme decorations, holiday gifts, local and tropical gifts.

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

Fri Dec 16th CD Release Party

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY with DJ BLAST

ISLAND SOUL GOMEGA & PITO & PI’ILANI ARIAS & DAMON WILLIAMS & JONNIE AND DANI GIRLS & LOVE & KOA

Casanova’s Famous Ladies Night The evening that earned Casanova the award

“Best Late Night In Maui” 9:45pm 5. Cover

$

Music Starts @ 9:45 pm $ 8. Cover

Sat. Dec 17th

Saturday, December, 17th

ZACC KEKONA CD Release Party Music Starts @ 9:45 pm $ 10. Cover

CD Release Party Music@ 9:45 $10 cover

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova. For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

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SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 15, 2005

31


Thursday

12/15

The New Project w/Jay Molina Gilbert Emata & Marja $5, 10pm

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

CAFE MARC AUREL

Friday 12/16

Saturday12/17 Sunday12/18

Kilohana Cruise w/Sujana, $5, 10pm

Gene Argel & Shiro Mori, No cover, 7:30pm-10:30 pm

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA

Monday12/19 – Wednesday12/21

Ohana Groove, $5, 10pm

Industry Night, DJ Shark In The Water, No Cover, 9pm

MON - Duane Feij, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The New Project w/ Jay Molina, Gilbert Emata & Marja, No Cover, 10pm; WED - DJ Shark In The Water, No cover, 10pm

Electric Soup No Cover, 7:30-10:30pm

Closed

MON - Open Mic, No cover 7pm; TUE - Voodoo Suns, 7:30pm

Island Soul CD Release Party, $10, 9:45pm

Zacc Kekona CD Release Party, $10, 9:45pm

Live Music, 9pm

Voodoo Suns, 9pm

Ladies’ Night 9pm

No Entertainment

MON - Kanoa & Friends, No cover, 9:30pm; TUE- No entertainment; WED - Liquid Lounge w/DJ Durty, $5, 9pm

Tattoo Thursday w/DJ 2X, 9pm

Extreme 105.5 Party 9pm

Jesse Saunders, Godfather of House Music, 9pm

$3 party w/DJ LX, 9pm

MON - Willie K, 9pm; TUE - Ultra Fab w/DJ Fat Jo, 9pm; WED - S.I.N. Night w/DJ Z, 9pm

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Blast, $5, 9:45pm

COMPADRES BAR & GRILL Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Reggae at the Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

★ ATOMIC ★

Dr.Nat Available for private events, parties & weddings

TATTOO

(3-5 piece) playing Latin, Gypsy and Brazilian Jazz, Reggae, Contemporary Island Style or with Hot Tropical Latin/Brazilian dance band

JAXON, FELIX & ERIC HAVE MOVED COME CHECK OUT THE NEW SHOP

Rio Ritmo Playing at Casanova New Year’s Eve Salsa y Samba y Ritmo Latino Music starts 9:45pm $25. cover

Since 1998 10am-10pm Daily

113A Prison St.

Call 572-9536 for booking or visit website www.drnat.com

Upstairs at Prison & Front • 667-2156

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE

December SUNDAY

MONDAY

Solo/duets and with Pacificaribe Jacque’s every Monday 7-10pm • No Cover

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

15

16

17

SOUL SWEET MIDNIGHT SIN CITY w/ SUGAR LOUNGE WITH FLAVA MAUI’S NEWEST DJ & DANCING ZONE DANCE BAND 18

19

20

21

22

SHAKE YOUR PARTY LIKE UNDERGROUND HEINI BIKINI TOPS A ROCK STAR SOUL SWEET PLAYGOUND LIVE MUSIC W SURF SHORTS w/ SUGAR WITH KAPAKAHI DJ STYLZ M AUI’S NEWEST VOODOO $3 HEINEKENS NO COVER DANCE BAND SUNS 25

26

27

28

29

23

24

ISLAND SOUL

TBA

CD RELEASE PARTY 30

31

SHAKE YOUR SHOWCASE HEINI BIKINI TOPS SUBLIME SOUL SWEET MIDNIGHT SUNDAYS LIVE MUSIC W SURF SHORTS REMEMBERED w/ SUGAR LOUNGE KAPAKAHI DJ STYLZ M AUI’S NEWEST DJ & DANCING $3 HEINEKENS NO COVER DANCE BAND

SUNDAY DECEMBER 18th

UNDERGROUND PLAYGROUND

NEW YEARS EVE PARTY

CHECK PARADICEBLUZ.COM FOR CALENDAR UPDATES • CLUB ATTIRE STRICTLY ENFORCED FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 32

DECEMBER 15, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR


12/15

Thursday HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

Friday 12/16

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Gina Martinelli, No Cover, 6-9pm

TUE - Curtis Williams, No cover, 5-7pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

MON - Dr.Nat, Jazz/Salsa, No cover, 7:30-10pm; WED - MJ3, Live Jazz, 7-10pm

Kenny Roberts, 6pm

Da Hawaiians, 6pm

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

El Nino, 6pm

Thirsty Thursdays W/DJ Stylz, 9:30pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm

El Dogg, 10pm

MON -The Crunch Pups, 9:30pm; TUE - Kareoke w/Alana, 9:30pm; WED - Wicked Wednesday, Live Local Music, 9:30pm

The Easy 9:30pm Sam Ahia, 7-8:30pm

Sam Ahia, 7-8:30pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Don Lopez BBQ Band $5, 9pm

Mana Jam 9pm

Sam Ahia, 7-8:30pm

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Monday12/19 – Wednesday12/21

DJ El Gato w/DJ Arnie, $5, 10pm

JACQUES

LIFE’S A BEACH

Crunch Pups No Cover, 9pm

Tony Ray No Cover, 9pm

Middle John Band No Cover 9pm

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Saturday12/17 Sunday12/18

Brian & the boys of Cool Rush 9pm

WED - Sam Ahia, 7-8:30pm

Erin Smith & Adam Bowmen 9pm

MON - Open Mic W/ Adam, 9pm; TUE - $2 Night w/Kanoa & Sean of Gomega, 10pm; WED - Hoku, 9pm

DA KINECALENDAR A Holiday in Lahaina - Sun, 9 a.m.-4 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Center. Gift and craft fair. $1 admission.

EVENTS

Whalers Village Events - All performances take place at the center stage. Sun, Magic show and face painting, 6-8 p.m.; Mon, Dances of Polynesian, 6:30-7 p.m., Drums of Tahiti; 7:30-8 p.m.; Tue, Lei making class 12-2 p.m.; Wed, Polynesian Hula, 6:30-7, 7:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Benoit Jazz Trio, 7-8 p.m.; Thu, paint your own Christmas ornament, 2-4 p.m.; Fri, Maui Madrigal, Songs of the Season, 7-8 p.m.; Sat, Pictures with Santa, 6-8 p.m., Mele Kalikimaka Show, 6:30-7 p.m., 7:30-8 p.m. Free. For info, call 661-4567.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 17

Dance Party! - Every Sat, 6:15 p.m., Omari Studio B, MACC. All level singles and couples welcome. There is a rug that is begging to be cut. Who’s gonna step up? $5.

SUNdAy, DECEMBER 18

Coffee, Cake and Kabbalah - Every Sun, 11 a.m.12 p.m., LiveWire Café, Paia. Journey through the world of mystical teachings with Rabbi Sholom Schusterman. Discuss, explore, and learn how to apply these teachings to your daily life. All are welcome. Free. For more info call 249-8770.

TUESDAy, DECEMBER 19

A Christmas Ball - 6-9p.m. at the Velma McWayne Santos Community Center, Wailuku. Sponsored by the Central Maui Chapter of the Hawaii Ballroom Dance Association. Buffet dinner and dancing. Advance sale of tickets up to Friday, December 16th will be $15, from December 17th and at the door the tickets will be $25. Also collecting donations of canned goods for the Maui Food Bank. For more info call 244-3263.

ART

Shoebox Exhibit - Through Dec. 18, Schaefer International Gallery. This traveling exhibit features 145 small sculptures from around the world. Artists are invited to meet the challenge of creating a big impact with sculptures that are no larger than the size of an average shoebox. Artists have used metal, carved wood, blown glass, fiber, clay, found objects and even human hair to make their sculptures. Free.

ECO

Laulima o Haleakala - Saturday, 9 a.m. to noon. Volunteer at Haleakala! Meet at the Maintenance Yard, just past the entrance gate. Projects include invasive plant removal, greenhouse work, planting, painting, ‘opala pickup and more. Appropriate for families with children age 6 & above. Bring water, snacks, sun and rain protection, warm layers, work gloves (if possible), and comfortable boots or closed walking shoes. For info, call 876-1673.

KEiki

After-School Tutoring - Tue and Thu, 2:30-4:30 p.m., the Neighborhood Place at Happy Valley, Wailuku. Hui Malama Learning Center provides trained tutors to all children who attend this after school program. Students who attend will also have the opportunity to learn hula, play ‘ukulele, play games, and more. Free. For info, call 986-0700. Graphic Design for Teens - Every Mon, 3-4 p.m. at Hui Malama Learning Center, Wailuku. Hands-on graphic design class using PC computers with Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. For teenagers only. Free. For info, call 244-5911, ext. 35. Winter Wonderland - Sat, 1-5 p.m. The Studio Maui in Haiku 'Kids In Motion' Creative Arts Program offers an Open House with sample classes in movement, dance and theatre for ages 2-15yrs. Before, after or inbetween classes, they can enjoy Face Painting, Crafts, Bake Sale and Storytelling. 'Kids in Motion' Fall

LETTERS

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SURF

Program Recital at 5:00p.m. $10 for everything! Call 575-9390 or visit www.thestudiomaui.com. Craft Time - Fri, 10:30-11:30 a.m. at the Kihei Library. All the materials to make greeting cards and simple ornaments will be provided to children of all ages. Yay for craft hour! For info, call 875-6833.

POETRY

Express Yourself - Every Mon, 7 p.m. at Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. For info, call 276-5467.

POLITICAL

Talk Story - Mon-Thu, 7-8 a.m. on KAOI 1110 AM. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. Tune in and call 244-9145. “Beyond the Mirage - The Face of the Occupation” - Fri, 7 p.m. at Maui Booksellers, Wailuku. David Neunuebel grew up in an average American home where the Middle East and Palestinian/Israeli conflict were never part of his world. Yet after his first visit to the area he knew something was terribly wrong. What he saw, after many more trips, went counter to every American instinct he'd been taught growing up. This documentary is an attempt to get 'beyond the mirage." $3 suggested donation to help support events like these.

SPORTS

Surf and Sand Half Marathon - Jan. 15, 6:30 a.m., Kapalua to Lahaina. 1,000 runners are expected to run the 13 mile course that is mostly downhill, with a beautiful view of the ocean. $60 or $40 Kamaaina. Registration is available online at mauisurfsandhalf.com, or for info call 530-559-2261.

STAGE

“Spirit of Dance” - Fri, 5-9 p.m. Dance revue and fundraising event. Proceeds to benefit Movement Art Programs. Tickets/donations are $20. For more info call 298-8884. “Scrooge” - Through Dec. 18, Steppingstone Playhouse, Kahului. MAPA presents the classic story of Scrooge, and his rehabilitation. $18 adults, $12 kids. For info call 244-8760 or go to www.mauiacademy.org. “Objects in Christmas are Closer Than They Appear” - Mon, 7 p.m. at Kumulani Chapel. A modern day musical comedy about the true meaning of Christmas. Tickets: $5. Proceeds go to charity. For info, call 669-6905.

DINNER MUSIC

Thu; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; TBA, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636. Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Acoustic Music every night. 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787. Kahana Terrace Restaurant - Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m. Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399. Kimo’s - Glen Kaku Grava; Thu, Sam Ahia, Sun, Hula Honey’s Mon-Tue, 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. Leilani’s On The Beach - Crazy Fingers, Thu, 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Wed Jarret Robak 3:30 5:30 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495. Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 6677758. Pioneer Inn - Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 p.m.; Captain Billy

OPENING

SOON! Unisan

Bones, Tue, 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 6613636. Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Piano Music with Shiro Mori - Thu., Darrin Lenett - Fri, Gene Argel - Mon. -Tue., Angie Carr, Wed., all shows 6-8 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant - Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon and Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500. WM – Live music nightly, 6-9:30 p.m., Wed; Late night Cafe: Lucid Fusion, jazz trio, Thu, Fri, Sat. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898.

SOUTH MAUI Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo, Fri and Mon, 6:30-9 p.m.; Braddah Frances and friends, Sat, 6:30 p.m.; Terri Garrison, Sun, 4-6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844. Capische? – Mark Johnston, Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo, Su and Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon. All sets 7-10

Guitar • Amps • Bass • Drums

Electric Guitartsrepair Fender Par

Share s i h t c i s u m Holiday

Ukulele starting at

59

$

Seafood Bar & Grill

WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700. Cheeseburger In Paradise - Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Mon and Thu. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch, Mon and Thu; Howard Ahia Fri-Sun; Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908. Fish & Game Brewing Co. & Rotisserie - Nino Toscano, Thu and Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien Awai, Tue; Ernest Puaa, Chisel, Thurs; Wed Open mic night; Brian Haia, Mon. All sets from 6-9 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Highway, 669-3474. Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

.95

Now Hiring • Servers • Bartenders • Bussers •Sushi Chefs • Line Cooks • Dish Washer Apply in person after 10 am Monday thru Friday at 2102 Vineyard St. Wailuku

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

910 Honoapiilani Hwy #9 661-ROCK(7625)

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 15, 2005

33


Thursday

12/15

Friday 12/16

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

Saturday12/17 Sunday12/18

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Monday12/19 – Wednesday12/21

Dr. Nat, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm

MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Erin Smith, $5, 10pm

LONGHI’S

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

The Willies, No cover, 8-11pm

Neto, Latin salsa night, No cover, 8-11pm

LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MAUI WAVERIDERS, B&G

Live Music, No cover, 8-9pm; Live DJ, No cover, 9pm

TBA

900 Front St, Lahaina - 661-1200

WED - Karaoke, 9pm Service Industry Night, Metal Night, No cover, 9pm

MON - Mai Tai/ Margarita Mondays, 9pm; TUE - $2 Tattoo Tuesdays, all day; WED - Westside Wednesdays, dollar drinks, 10pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Rock Hard Tark, No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Hustle, No cover 9pm; TUE - DJ Mackie, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Wailea Nights w/Eric Gilliom and Barry Flanagan, 8pm

Wailea Nights w/Ernie Cruz Jr. and Barry Flanagan, 8pm

Celtic Tigers, No cover, 7pm

Celtic Tigers, No cover, 7pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific, No cover, 7pm; TUE - Benoit Jazz Works, No cover, 7pm; WED - Dylan Dokin, Acoustic Rock, No cover, 7pm

Live Entertainment, 10pm

Live Entertainment No cover,10pm

Live Entertainment No cover,10pm

Live Entertainment No cover,10pm

WED - Live Entertainment, 10pm

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am Sin City w/Flava Zone, $5, 9pm

Underground Playground, $5, 9pm

MON - Shake Your Heini W/Kapakahi, $5, 9pm TUE - Bikini Tops and Shorts w/DJ Stylz WED - VooDoo Suns, Live Blues, $5, 9pm

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

NEPTUNES

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

PARADICE BLUZ

744 Front St., Lahaina - 667-5299

Soul Sweet w/Sugar, $5, 9pm

Midnight Lounge, DJ Dancing, $5, 9pm

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am DJ Blast, $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali - 667-4727

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Durty, No cover, 9pm

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm

Kanoa & Cody, No Cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Ed V, No Cover, 10pm; TUE - DJ Afro-Flatulence, No Cover, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, No Cover, 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Crunch Pups, No Cover, 9:30pm

El Dogg, No Cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts, No Cover, 9pm

Hot Lava Band, No Cover, 9pm

MON - Monday Night Football, Live, No cover, 4pm; TUE - Dylan Donkin, No cover, 9:30pm; WED - John Moore, No cover, 9:30pm

Ken Rovak & Freedom, $3, 9pm

Habanero Brothers, $3, 9pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

DA KINECALENDAR p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224. Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206. Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. Mulligan’s on the Blue – Wailea Nights, Thu and Fri, 8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7 p.m.; Gypsy Pacific, Mon, 7 p.m.; Acoustico, Tue, 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080. South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour, $3 special's. Live entertainment. Tony & Peter, Sun, Tue and Thu; Wed and Fri, Trevor Jones 4-6 p.m. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444. Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Wed-Fri; Brian Wittman, Sat; Patrick Mayor, Sun-Mon. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, WedSun 7-10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei, 874-8385.

CENTRAL MAUI Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului Café Marc Aurel - Sat; Shimmy Nights Transport yourself to realms of the Mysterious and Exotic with Live Belly Dance performances. Two shows 7 p.m. & 8 p.m. Mon, Express Yourself with Music, Song, Poetry Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. all shows no cover. 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. Mañana Garage - Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30-9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220. Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed, 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Jacque’s - Live Jazz, Mon, 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844. Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Fri-Sat and Wed, 9 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009. Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contempo-

34

DECEMBER 15, 2005

DA KINE CALENDAR

rary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Live Jazz, Wed and Fri; Anik, Sun, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

■ EMBASSY VACATION RESORT 104 KA’ANAPALI SHORES, LAHAINA, 6612000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu and Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon and Tue. All sets from 5:309:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly. Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30-9:30 p.m. ■ KA’ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages: Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Tiki Courtyard Of Ka’anapali Beach Hotel: Live music featuring Hawaii’s premier Slack Key Guitarists Ola Hou with Pekelo Cosma and Ohana Brown, Fri, 69 p.m. Whalers Village Center Stage: Thus, Hula Lessons 3 p.m.- 4 p.m. Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak, 7 p.m.-8 p.m. Fri, Lei Making Class 12-2p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sat Drums of the Island 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sun, Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak 7-8p.m. 7-8 p.m. Mon, Dances of Polynesian 6:30 p.m.-7 p.m. Drums of Tahiti 7:30 p.m. – 8 p.m.Tue, Lei Making Class 11a.m.-1p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m-8 p.m. Wed Polynesian Hula Show 7p.m-8p.m. All Shows free. ■ MAUI MARRIOTT 100 NOHEA KAI DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 6671200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m. ■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m. ■ RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA ONE RITZ-CARLTON DRIVE, KAPALUA, 669-

6200 Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m. Kapalua Indoor Theater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Wed 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. 1-888-669-3858. ■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 KEKAA DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 661-3611 Live Hawaiian music, 6-8pm Thu-Sat in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly. ■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly; Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly. ■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 667-2525 Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon and Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri, 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue and Thu, and Wed and Sat 7- 9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI

■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:30-7:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly. ■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, Live Music, Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-4100

Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Live music with Toshomee 6:30 p.m. -9:30 p.m.Thu-Sat.s ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA East Wing- Live music with Marti Kluth playing classical, pop, and Jazz piano 6:30 p.m. -8 p.m., Wed Lower Courtyard- Live music with Jamie Lawerence and a Hawaiian band 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Wed ■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri. ■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace: Live Hawaiian contemporary music by Lono, Mon-Tue; Bobby Krueger, Wed-Thu; Mahalo Greg, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat; Mondo Kane, Sun. All sets 6-9 p.m. ■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 MAKENA ALANUI, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.; Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI

■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI HANA, 248-8211 Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge: Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 661-0446


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Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

What’s this @ symbol all about? When you see the @ at the end of an ad, that means the advertiser has a profile (and maybe even a picture!) at our online personals site. Note the username listed after the @, and check it out at www.mauitimepersonals.com For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com LINGO: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not all ads have corresponding voice messages. a service of To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 15, 2005

35


COMPUTER EQUIPMENT

MISS YOUR KIDS? Working way too much for way too NEED NEW COMPUTER Bad Credit - No Problem! Buy a new little? Executive level pay from home. TRUCKS, computer Now and pay for it later. Learn how from millionaires. Not MOTORCYCLES, RVS New Computers and Laptops from MLM 888-376-1231 (AAN CAN) GRAND OPENING SALE! Mopeds Plus in Lahaina. $100 off all $20/month. Call Now 1-800-311-1542. $$CASH$$ mopeds in December. All models (AAN CAN) Immediate Cash for Structured come with helmet, cover & alarm. 991 Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, Limahana Place. 661-8878 Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth AUTOMOTIVE - #1 1-(800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN) SERVICES NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS

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EMPLOYMENT

MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late! MAKE EXTRA MONEY! Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and Earn $300 to $400 per week part Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, Hydro- time. Your hours. Will train. Call 1-877Optix Masks! (808) 250-1234 www. 662-3297 shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC TEMPORARY HELP NEEDED For the Mercedes Championships at Learn to Control Your Finances... Kapalua 12/23/05-1/8/06. Car Detailing Not have them control you. Make $10.+ Hr. Cash Paid Daily. Call Lisa at more out of the money you have 949-929-5091 now. Change your bad money habits to work to your advantage. Learn to $ MODELS WANTED $ live debt free. Don’t wait, do some- For calendar magazine and artistic thing now. Private or Group Sessions. print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 (808) 344-0256 *MOVIE EXTRAS* earn $150-$300/Day. All Looks/Types Needed. No Experience Necessary. TV, Music Videos, Commercials, Film, Print. Call Tollfree 7 days! 1-800-260MYSTERY SHOPPERS Get paid to shop, earn up to $150 per 3949 x3025 (AAN CAN) day! No experience required. Call 1NEW REAL-LIFE CABLE SERIES 800-766-7197. (AAN CAN) series seeking steroid users, bulimics, porn/sex- addicts, alcoholics, gamNOW HIRING FOR 2005 blers, shopaholics and those strugPOSTAL POSITIONS. $18.50-$59.00 +/hr. Full Benefits/Paid gling with serious addictions or comTraining and Vacations. No Experience pulsive behaviors. Info: www.mysNecessary. 1-800-584-1775. Public teryseries.com (AAN CAN)

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NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina HELP WANTED AT JAVA JAZZ! ALOHA VALUED READERS Need Baristas & Servers We would like to let our readers Immediately. Excellent pay FT/PT. No know that we try to screen most of dress code. Great place to work. our ads. We read back the ad copy to Apply in person or call 667-0787 ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see SALESPERSON FOR UNUSUAL the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a SHOP national ad and was not submitted Part Time. Call 661-6885 directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please Freelancers Wanted The Association of Alternative check out aancan.org Newsweeklies is hiring freelance writers for its Web site, aan.org. If interested, please send a cover letter, FREE SATELLITE TV SYSTEM! work experience and writing sample 4 Rooms including installation, DVRs, to amyg@aan.org. (AAN CAN) HD receivers. Only $19.99 per month. Ext: P797 Promo: P28 1-800-998MODEL SEARCH!! DISH. (AAN CAN) www.5people.net Call 808-5-PEOPLE

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MUSIC & ARTS

NOTICES

Computer Problems Solved Wireless and LAN Networks Installed. Computer Trouble Shooting. Computer running slow? Viruses? I can help you get back to normal. Call (808) 344-0256

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ASTROMANA

KITE BOARD

MASON MCGRAW

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 22-DECEMBER 21) Going into a new relationship right now is a good thing, just be careful not to hurt the feelings of that special someone who was once a strong cornerstone in your life. Burning bridges is a big no-no, Sag. As much as you’d like to maybe “get even,” use grace in moving on and away from those who bring you down. The full moon today is a great opportunity for this to happen if you get on with your life; you can bring a horse to water but you can’t make him pull his head out.

MAUI

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 22-JANUARY 20) Techno music in the morning, banana for breakfast, yoga in the yard or on the beach—are we forgetting something? The lack of sex right now sucks major, I know, but can we think of a good reason for this happening? Well, maybe for you lucky Caps, it’s every morning. Good for you! And for the not so blessed, don’t let it work you into a festering frenzy of impatient maddening; let it go. Desire is the cause of suffering and there is plenty of energy to be directed in a more productive light. There must be a cure! Chocolate?

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AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21-FEBRUARY 19)

MAUI

No more lonely nights, lying awake. If you do have a serious crush on someone and you don’t know what to do about it, now is the time to step up and express what you feel is real. Don’t be afraid of what they’re going to say; the worst that could happen is they’re already taken, right? Follow your bliss. It’s a full moon tonight and the stars shall make love, not war.

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PISCES (FEBRUARY 20-MARCH 20) Transcending apocalypse, midday heat, wave upon wave of excitement and spectacular dreams, your lucky number is infinite. Holding on to the past might hold you back from embracing the new fresh possibilities of the future. Break the norm this week and take the long way home. Sickness is going around right now and if you don’t have it already, wash up frequently and don’t touch your nose after you shake hands. The full moon keeps you up late; just remember to drink a full glass of water before your head hits the pillow.

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ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) It’s 4:44 a.m.—time to get up! When was the last time you got up that early? Take complete control of your life and stop doing the things that are bad for you. Looking up into the early morning sky, the stars refresh the mind—it’s still dark out, yo! Feel your inner smile awaken the senses and begin your day with a sense of purpose and renewed understanding of balance. Look for a Libra for inspirational ideas and air for the fire. Watch out for tempting distractions.

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TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Buying a piano might not be top priority this week but getting back to the music is more than a magnificent idea. The absorption of this lovable instrument of melody brings smooth harmony and the tears of sensation. The love for music and the amazing fulfillment it brings is yet another engaging reason to hit up any music store to find a new sound for the mind to wander in. Did you know Taurus is the vessel of life?

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GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 21) It’s a full moon Thursday. All weekend the fish are biting. So if you do fish, this is a perfect opportunity for a fun get-together with friends to enjoy the feast. While the moon is in Cancer until early Sunday morning when it goes into Leo, you might be a bit on the sensitive side. Whatever those problems are, the longer you keep them covered up and not communicated, trouble will arise, and who will suffer the most? You, or your twin? Open up and let the conflict dissolve.

CANCER (JUNE 22-JULY 21) Today is the beginning of a rewarding weekend. You won’t be challenged with that “funk” that is so hard to pull away from until later this month. I’m not sure what the secret recipe is for getting out of those bad moods but overuse of drugs and alcohol is not your final answer. Going for a long walk and turning off the TV is a good start. Calling a long-lost friend on the full moon will bring a pleasant surprise.

LEO (JULY 22-AUGUST 21) Smoking pot every day—is it really that good for you? I know I might be on this anti-drug kick right now but am I the only one? Take a week of sobriety—a week, a month—it will help you come back to an unclouded outlook on new possibilities and the lack of frustration. The full moon is a perfect time to put down the pipe and do something else a bit more productive.

VIRGO (AUGUST 22-SEPTEMBER 22) The full moon is blasting. You might have too much energy right now to accomplish the task at hand. Direct that energy carefully; the last thing you need is another speeding ticket. Going for an early swim at Makena will prove amazing. Laughter will fill your soul and the third eye with new ideas and long lost dreams now resurfacing. Pick up a new CD or a piano this week for Christmas.

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 23-OCTOBER 22) Planning a trip home to the mainland for the holidays? It’ll be a step back into the past, with new changes and a feeling that distracts you from your life here on Maui. It’s up to you to decide what to do and say but some things are better left unspoken. Nobody’s missing out and jealousy is a vein better left un-pricked. Let the blood stay in the body, keep warm and breathe in your new experience with old friends.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 23-NOVEMBER 21) Getting worked up a bit lately? Drink more water; you know as well as I—you being a water sign—how essential it is to drink lots of it. Yes, the inside organs of your body are a miracle in itself but if not properly taken care of, the effects of dehydration are harmful and long-term. Taking a class on nutrition or picking up a good book on the subject will totally blow you away with new insightful truth. MASON123LOVE@YAHOO.COM

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Sexplorations

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

Sex is boring. – Sid Vicious I just didn’t get it at first. As a young girl growing up with a sexy, single mom within the liberated lifestyle of L.A.’s music industry, then as a teenager living in the sexploitative Disneyland known as Las Vegas, I was always surrounded by it. Of course, I can’t say I always knew what that Hitachi Magic Wand in my mom’s nightstand was for, or what all those halfnaked girls with the really big hair were doing in the dark, smoky rooms backstage at concerts. But I had an idea. Surprisingly, I wasn’t numbed by all that stimulus. Instead, I became obsessively curious. When I went with my mom to the mechanic and they argued over the highly technical nuances of our VW Bug’s engine, I used to sit at his desk and study intensely the plastic octagonal cube with couples in various Kama Sutra-inspired sexual positions. As a pre-teen, I would pour over the letters in Penthouse, try to peer through the muddled images on the late-night soft-core porn channels and if my mom wasn’t yet home, I would stay on the phone with obscene callers and ask them questions. I never considered it inappropriate. I just wanted some answers. I knew about Ben Wa Balls, double-dong dildos and had seen Caligula well before I was considered nubile. Despite all this, I was one of the last of my friends to lose my virginity, just before my sixteenth birthday. And needless to say, I was more than disappointed when it finally happened. In fact, I thought something was wrong with me. While everyone bragged about their supposed weekend flings and sexperimentations, I thought sex—the actual physical act— was kind of a waste of time. Sex is the most compressed set of circumstances that we’ve got. Everything is in that collision. – Arthur Miller After a couple years of this blasé feeling about missing something that seemed so important to everyone around me, I started to feel the pressure of unlocking the Great Sex Mystery. I started reading how-to manuals and erotic fiction religiously. I watched movies, too, but felt the porn at that time was too mechanical and the mainstream “erotic” films too romantic. What my mom and other adults always said with a smirk was that “sex is only good with someone you love.” I always thought that was just a crock. Surely, sex would enhance a relationship but I knew that if done right, there had to be a certain amount of plain ol’ soulless physical pleasure involved. Right? I thought that if I could just find my “type,” I would find sexual happiness. I tried the rocker, the jock, the brainiac—basically, the whole damn Breakfast Club. I tested different people, different scenarios, with various levels of feeling. You could say I was slutting out, but I was methodical about it. That was probably my biggest problem—I was thinking too hard. Pleasure’s a sin and sometimes sin’s a pleasure. – Lord Byron The first time I actually enjoyed sex was with “E.” I was 18, I think he was in his mid-20’s. We had been running in the same circles for years and I always thought he was… intriguing. He had painted the Native American murals at my high school (we were the Palm Springs “Indians”—not very PC), carried around a pocketbook of Allen Ginsberg poetry and lived alone on a ranch in the middle of the desert, when he wasn’t taking off on some mysterious road trip or following the Dead. But he was no stinking hippie. When friends introduced us at a party, he just stared at me without saying a word. I had just taken a handful of mushrooms and started to feel my skin tingle and flush—but I think it might’ve had more to do with E’s gaze than any psilocybic symptoms. I watched him through the crowd, laughing and socializing easily with his friends. But when the party ended, he took my hand and led me to his truck. At the ranch, he silently removed my clothing and gently placed me on top of a long wooden platform in an empty stable. He then poured honey all over my body and, well… Somehow that’s not what I had pictured happening backstage at Van Halen. Samantha Campos has taken highly scientific tests to discover that she is not as sinful as the average person but will most likely die of poison from her gluttonous love of food and drink. MTW

38

DECEMBER 15, 2005

CLASSIFIED


Mind Body

Mind Body Spirit

Michael Ra Bouchard, M.A., Ph.D.

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9.25 Local Gift Guide 2005, December 15, 2005, Volume 9, Issue 25, MauiTime