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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 25

4 MAUI COUNTY Kihei middle schoolers fire back at Barry Wurst II in Letters. A wedding thief gets called out in Eh Brah! A woman offers the worst jury duty excuse ever in News of the Weird. Rob Report wonders if Maui needs a bailout. Minor decoys are uncovered in LC Watch. CPA Doug Levin breaks down the new solar tax credits and how you can take advantage. Coconut Wireless cringes at the awkwardness of an Obama-Lingle meet and greet.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What’s the worst alcohol and food combination you’ve ever had?

Editor: Jacob Shafer Whiskey and Dijon mustard Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw Mimosa and toothpaste Proofreader: Heather Nicholson Cheese Whiz and Chablis

14 FEATURE STORY

Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Doug Levin, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II

Our local gift guide offers you enticing ways to keep your cash on Maui. (Plus, win a prize!)

Illustration: Ron Pitts

2

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Photography: Sean Michael Hower Art Director: Brittany Shaw Oyster shooters

23 ONO KINE GRINDS

Graphic Designer: Travis Keenan Tiffin Guinness, vodka and Red Bull and doner kabab

The dinner eats at Stella Blues pass with flying colors.

Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Everclear and peyote

24 MUSIC SCENE

General Manager: Jennifer Russo Tequila and lemon

Kate hangs out with the aweomsely named BrownChicken BrownCow String Band.

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Beer and pop rocks

25 Mind Candy

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Beer and ice cream

26 FILM

Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

Barry Wurst II hates the new comic book movie Punisher: War Zone. Take that, middle schoolers!

Publisher: Tommy Russo Cotton candy, Hawaiian punch, vodka and Red Bull

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

27 Movie Listings

28 DA KINE CALENDAR Kate guides you through the week’s choice events, including a charity shopping thing in Paia and an appearance by a Kids in the Hall alum.

30 Calendar & Grid

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com

36 BACK PAGES

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

37 Local Classifieds 38 Sign Language 39 Mind, Body, Spirit

Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR The following letters from students at Kihei Charter School are in response to Barry Wurst II’s Nov. 26 review of the film Twilight: Our teacher Scott Farber read the class your critique on Twilight and I had a few questions. I would like to know if you have ever made a movie yourself. If not, you are in no position to be criticizing the special effects.

You may not know that some people enjoy the blue screen and disagree with your criticism. I would also like to know if you have a daughter, because if so then I would understand why you would criticize the movie in a way that is an insult to 13year-old girls. If not, you are insulting them yourself. Are you saying that they would have bad taste in movies? I hope that you do not take this letter as an 11-year-old girl like the many others who are mad at you for insulting their favorite movie. I am interested in why you chose to critique the movie in this kind of way.

I wish you the best.

Tayelor Hello. I’m 11 years old. I read your review today about Twilight, and disagree completely. No, I have not seen the movie, nor have I read the book, but I know people who have seen the movie and/or read the book. Guess what? Some people liked it, some people hated it with disgust. So, therefore, it really depends what you like. And the vampires didn’t look like vampires because they’re not supposed to! If you have read the book, you might know that they’re supposed to try and blend in with the humans. I know that because I read part of the book. If you like stories about love and/or vampires, then you might like Twilight. If you dislike love and/or vampires, then you probably won’t like it. And it’s not just teenage girls that are 13. There are elders, kids from 10-12 years, adults—all male and female. So some people liked it, some didn’t. Big deal. You don’t have to write an insulting article about it. And just because you’re a critic doesn’t mean that you have to be so critical. There’s such a thing as constructive criticism! That means that it’s still criticism but in a helpful, less obnoxious way.

Kira N. I have read all the books in the Twilight series and now have watched the movie. I agree with some of the things you said in your article but not all of them. I agree that the special effects weren’t that

4

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

great and the story line wasn’t the best, but some of the things you said I strongly disagree with. When you said that this movie was an insult to 13-year-old girls it really offended me. For one, I know a lot of adults and males that like this movie a lot and who like the books too. Two, you were basically saying that 13-yearold girls have bad taste in films. I say that everyone should be able to have their own opinion. Next time you write an article please look into your information more carefully.

Reilly Wirtz I have read the book and watched the movie. I think it was really good. I understand that your newspaper review was just your opinion. I disagree with what you wrote about the movie. I disagree with the part of the evaluation when you wrote that the vampires in the movie were not realistic. Stephanie Meyers purposely created the vampires in Twilight so that they are different from normal vampires. She made a point that she’s tired of the old kind of vampires that melt in the sun and wear capes and things like that. She wanted the vampires to kind of fit in with the students at the high school, but still be different in little vampire ways. At the end of your evaluation, you made a statement about how 13-year-old girls do not have very good taste and do not have enough life experience to know what a good movie is. Some of my friends are 13 and they were greatly offended by that comment. Thirteen-year-old girls are not the only reason that Twilight is so popular.

My parents went to see the movie and they loved it. My friends’ parents went and loved it also. If I could rate Twilight, I would rate it with four stars. But that’s just my opinion.

Nicole You are an awesome critic and your review on Twilight is awesome.

Nels Romerdahl

SEND YOUR LETTERS to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), post (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

We reserve the right to edit letters.

Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Maui Time Weekly.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com To the complete and total douchebag that stole my cousin’s wedding favors on her wedding day this past Saturday...congrats. I just wanted to let you know that you’ve won the award of BIGGEST LOSER. Thanks to you, my cousin cried all day. Oh no...not tears of joy. Tears of pain that someone would be mean enough to steal from a bride on such a momentous day.

Bruddah—you take the cake. I hope they reserve a nice room in hell for you, right between Hitler and the person who steals candy from babies.

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD ELECTORAL ODDITIES Change Oregonians Believe In: The voters of Sodaville (pop. 290) elected Thomas Brady Harrington, 33, mayor in November, notwithstanding his criminal rap sheet showing robbery, eluding a police officer, felon in possession of a gun and other crimes. (His electoral success was perhaps due to voters confusing him with his father, a respected town elder.) And the voters of Silverton (pop. 7,400) elected as mayor Stu Rasmussen, 60, an openly transgendered, longtime resident who previously served as mayor while a man but who now sports breasts and dresses exclusively as a woman (especially miniskirts and cleavageenhancing tops).

Actually, Rasmussen still describes himself as a man and lives with his longtime girlfriend, but explained his switch as just his particular “mid-life crisis.”

LAID TO REST “I’m really sorry...I thought he was just tired,” said Lynne Stewart, who was arrested in West Melbourne, Fla., in October and charged with stealing items from a 56-year-old, unconscious man who in fact had just suffered a fatal heart attack during sex with Stewart. She blamed her larceny on a cocaine binge that impaired her judgment such that (according to a police commander) she had sex with 20 men that weekend. (However, she was not charged with prostitution.

Said the commander, “No, she just likes sex.”)

EXCUSE ME? (1) A woman being interviewed for jury duty on a murder case in Bronx (N.Y.) Supreme Court in October asked to be excused for the reason that she was once murdered, herself, by her husband (but had somehow been revived by a doctor). (She was

‘CLICK’ OF

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

dismissed from the jury, but on other grounds.) (2) In a recent report of DUI excuses in the Swedish newspaper Nerikes Allehanda, a 56-year-old woman asserted that, though she had been drinking, her driving was not affected because she had remembered to keep one eye closed so as not to be seeing double.

TRAGIC IRONY Hummer H2 driver Yvonne Sinclair, 29, was convicted of gross vehicular manslaughter in November in Rancho Cucamonga, Calif., from a 2006 crash that killed two people and in which her intoxication was a major factor. Sinclair had bought the Hummer from proceeds of a lawsuit settlement over the 2003 death of her boyfriend, who was killed by a drunk driver.

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THAT STINKS “I would like an apology,” explained Michael Wax, who was ejected in July from the Borgata Hotel and Casino in Atlantic City because of customers’ complaints about his body odor. “There’s no question I stink...I do have an odor. I’ve been playing for 17 hours,” said the 440pound man. Nonetheless, Wax filed a complaint with the Casino Control Commission, claiming that he should not have been so rudely treated in front of other patrons.

RELIGIOUS VIEWS Recent public appearances by Jesus and Mary: Arkansas City, Kan., September (Jesus on the ceiling of the One Stop Body Shoppe weight-loss clinic); Pittsburg, Texas, August (Jesus on the body of a moth); Goshen, Ind., July (Jesus in the facial fur of the family cat); High Ridge, Mo., July (Jesus on a Cheeto); Arlington, Texas, September (Mary on a grape); Pompano Beach, Fla., November (Jesus on a slice of French toast); Gulf Shores, Ala., September (Jesus in the drywall of a home under construction). MTW

THE WEEK

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

7

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

The big Maui bailout Should local emergency dollars be spent to bolster the economy? s we ushered in December, the month noted for holiday cheer, our newspapers reported that the National Bureau of Economic Research announced the U.S. economy has been in recession since this time last year.

Apparently they used the same style of critical analysis as that of a driver who hears a “thud” and looks in his rear view mirror to see what he ran over.

Federal bailout requests creeping toward a trillion dollars should have been an early indication to those esteemed economic prognosticators.

Locally, there’s been little doubt this year that Maui and Hawaii are in the midst of an economic downturn. We’ve witnessed layoffs and the shutting down of operations at Molokai Ranch,

A

to meet an expected $55 million shortfall in county and state tax revenues. One week after the presidential campaign slogan of “Yes We Can” brought new hope to the country, it seemed the local mood had quickly plummeted to “No Can Do.” Just as swiftly, the County Council offered up an early Christmas bonus to the construction and development industry by putting Makena Resort rezoning on a fast-track, casting aside concerns about the long-term stability of our economy and environment and flying in the face of common sense. ne day after the Land Use Committee passed the Makena request for at least an additional 1,000 housing units for the ultra-wealthy, Chair Mike Molina sent a letter upstairs to

O

Hot, Flat, and Crowded, calls for a “green revolution” to counteract converging trends of dwindling resources, climate change, and international economic recession, based on what he terms the declining security of “petropolitics.” The book mostly skips over a description of our current global challenges and how we got here, and is more focused on wellresearched and detailed solutions.

Outlining both the challenge and opportunity at hand, Friedman advocates shifting from the “Code Red” of post 9/11 to a “Code Green,” mobilizing efforts to create clean power sources and energy-efficiency systems and inspiring an ethic of conservation.

The solutions to Maui’s economic slump will not be found in propping up the current structure; its foundation

One week after the presidential campaign slogan of “Yes We Can” brought new hope to the country, it seemed the local mood had quickly plummeted to “No Can Do.” Maui Land & Pineapple, ATA and Aloha Airlines. Tourist numbers have plunged by double digits, and the crackdown on vacation rentals has led to closures of several businesses in Paia and other Upcountry locations. There has been a bit of merciful relief to gasoline and electric prices that soared to historical highs earlier in the year.

Back in September, The Maui Chamber of Commerce called for the Tavares administration to release its economic stimulus report and strategy plan. In early November, former Economic Development Coordinator Lynn Araki-Regan authored a Maui News Viewpoint expressing disappointment at the lack of urgency in preparing such a plan, especially since that office has added five new staff members since the Arakawa administration. ArakiRegan also offered several suggestions of her own to jumpstart our sagging local economy, including putting selected capital improvement projects (CIPs) on a fast-track, re-directing funds for Maui Economic Opportunity (MEO) and the Maui Food Bank and prioritizing passage of a Home Occupation Business Ordinance.

In mid-November, Mayor Tavares finally made an announcement—not of a stimulus plan, but that department heads were being asked to cut budget requests by 16 percent overall,

8

DECEMBER 11, 2008

Mayor Tavares. In a November 22 Maui News article, Molina proposed utilizing $3 million of an available $12 million in the County Emergency Fund for a threepart economic stimulus plan.

Molina called for $1 million to supplement visitor industry promotion efforts, $2 million “to provide $1,000 subsidy payments to families affected by loss of jobs or economic hardship” and expediting CIPs to put people to work, while improving the county’s aging infrastructure.

It’s hard to imagine that pouring more county money into the gaping maw of the already plump Maui Visitors Bureau budget will put people on airplanes to Hawaii.

Tourism numbers are down because of how Wall Street and other economic factors have impacted people on the Mainland, not for lack of promotion. Trying to affix bandaid measures to the hemorrhaging wound that is our over-dependence on off-island visitor dollars and major construction financing is not likely to pull our economy out of the intensive care unit.

West Coast activist and author Van Jones explicated a myriad of exciting alternatives in his latest book, The Green Collar Economy. Jones’s hopeful outlook is that one solution—a strong thrust toward a renewable energy economy—can help save the planet and help solve the socio-economic issues of the people who inhabit it.

Likewise, frequent New York Times columnist Thomas Friedman’s new tome,

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

shows signs of crumbling with age. They will come from innovative ideas, and it’s clear we will have to guide our elected officials down a different path than the one they’ve chosen to pave. asked several influential community members to offer their input on ways to address our current economic crisis.

“Writing checks to needy families sounds politically expedient,” said Maui Planning Commission Chair Jonathon Starr, “but it will do little to help improve economic situations on Maui. Improving infrastructure in a clean, green manner will pay multiple short- and long-term dividends.”

Starr also favors energy conversation and efficiency investments for county facilities and additions to the public transportation system. He also floated the idea of hiring a mortgage counselor to help those facing foreclosure threats to find new assistance programs.

Council candidate Kai Nishiki, who ran for the residency seat

I

LC Watch Minor details Last week we got a note at mauitime.com from a reader wondering about the legality of minor decoys. It’s an interesting question.

As a society we go to great pains to protect children from the alleged evils of drinking. We’ve set what some call a draconian minimum age of 21 (certainly our friends in Europe find that rather silly) and we crack down hard on establishments that break the rules.

And yet, ironically, one of the preferred methods of cracking down—a method regularly employed by the LC that’s outlined in section 08-101-102 of the department’s rules—is to send in an underage individual with the express purpose of purchasing alcohol. The person must be under 21, they can’t lie and they have to carry a valid ID (or no ID at all).

This year alone, well over a dozen businesses have been brought before the Adjudication Board on charges of selling to a minor decoy.

There is certainly an argument to be made that this is an effective way to make busts. But there’s a fine line between aggressive enforcement and entrapment.

My favorite part of the rule concerning minor decoys is this: “The decoy shall display the appearance which could generally be expected of a person under twenty-one years of age…” (Whatever that means.) I guess this is the LC’s attempt to avoid accusations that it’s sending in kids who look older than they are to trick proprietors into hefty fines.

Minor decoy laws have been tested before. In California in the early ’90s, an appellate court found a decoy program to be illegal, though the decision was later reversed by the state Supreme Court.

Here on the Valley Isle, no such challenges are pending. Kids will keep getting used as bait as long as liquor sellers keep biting.

–Jacob Shafer

ROBREPORT now occupied by Molina, offered an array of ways to support local food production. “We need a revival of our local food economy,” she said. “We can offer grants to farmers who need to build water storage to secure themselves against times of drought. And grants could support building community gardens, certified kitchens and educational facilities that help people with businesses based on locally grown foods.”

Nishiki also recalled the Emergency Environmental Workforce that was quickly implemented shortly after the 2001 dengue fever outbreak in Hana, with help from Senator Kalani English. The workforce hired local residents for education, clearing mosquito-breeding areas and lending a hand with invasive miconia eradication in the East Maui rainforests.

Such a marriage of environmental and economic initiatives harkens to the Civilian Conservation Corps of the 1930s, a Depression era workrelief program that enhanced national parks, planted millions of trees and built dams, bridges and other needed infrastructure.

General Plan Advisory Committee Vice Chair Dick Mayer believes that money spent to refurbish county parks will help support current funding to visitor industry promotion.

“After our visitors arrive, they are often disappointed in the dilapidated state of our parks,” he said. “[Fixing them up] could improve their experience of vacationing here.”

Mayer also believes jobs to train people in renewable energy fields, such as solar panel installation, are good investments in our future and could be supported through current programs with MEO and MCC. MCC’s director of the Sustainable Living Institute of Maui program, Alex de Roode, echoed the need to support solar photovoltaic (PV) installations to residences and business, through leasing agreements, subsidies or additional tax credits. De Roode favors scholarships for students entering MCC programs in fields such as high tech, engineering, natural sciences, health and medicine and sustainability programs.

He proposed establishing a County Office of Sustainability, similar to one created by the city of Portland, Oregon. He also supports conducting a food security analysis (as the Big Island has done) and implementing the recommendations of that study.

Community organizer Angie Hofmann of SaveMakena.org believes there are better alternatives for outof-work construction workers than building mansions in the culturally

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

rich lands of South Maui. “Why not create green collar jobs by training union workers to install PV panels, then install them on government buildings to reduce electrical expenditures and waste?” she asked.

Only one citizen who responded voiced opposition to using the emergency fund.

Kihei’s Buck Joiner, who often takes aim at the county funds ($3.85 million in the 2008 budget) allocated to the MVB, emailed: “I am opposed to using the emergency fund for anything other than a true natural disaster or similar devastating event. This economic slump is serious but NOT an emergency.”

The Maui County Code defines the purpose of the County Emergency Fund like this: “The emergency fund is established for the purpose of funding a public emergency threatening life, health, property, or economic viability of the County.”

Appropriations to the fund may be approved while reviewing annual fiscal budgets and expenditures from the fund require an affirmative vote from at least seven members of the council.

Councilmember Michelle Anderson believes the economic downturn is too big and complex to be fixed with $3 million.

But she also believes it’s important to help those whose needs are most critical.

“To help those in serious need I would suggest that Housing and Human Concerns work with nonprofits that serve our community with food, emergency shelter, assistance with housing payments, etc., and distribute the funds to these organizations according to need,” said Anderson.

Former Mayor Alan Arakawa said the county “should absolutely create an economic stimulus initiative.”

But, he added, “any taxpayer money spent

should meet several criteria, including the fact that jobs created must serve the public demand. Areas of shortages, such as nursing training, police officer training and training of medical support personnel, could be supplemented.”

Arakawa gave a nod to projects such as the South Maui Police Station and Gymnasium, and the Kaunakakai and Haiku fire stations. “These are projects that need to be designed and constructed, as they will benefit our communities long term,” he said.

While we review our own holiday shopping lists, let us collectively ask what positive efforts we may collectively make to ensure a brighter future for all of Maui. MTW Send your recommendations michael.molina@mauicounty.us cc: robparsons@earthlink.net

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BY DOUG LEVIN DOUG@MAUITIME.COM

Ray of hope happen to be a New York Giants fan; last year they won the Super Bowl, seemingly out of nowhere.

Unfortunately, as a practicing tax CPA I spend more time watching Congress than the NFL and most of the sudden changes there turn out to be rather unpleasant.

So it was another wonderful surprise when Congress included major improvements to Solar Photovoltaic Tax credits as part of their second ultimately successful attempt to pass the $700 billion bailout package in early

I

Explaining AMT would take this entire column; let’s just illustrate the change using the previous example: if your AMT tax was $4,500, under the old rules you would only have been able to use $1,500 of your $6,000 credit. So this is another great change.

In addition to the federal changes, we’re very fortunate to live in Hawaii. First off, we’ve got plenty of sun. Plus, the state offers a 35 percent tax credit. That means next year, federal and state credits combined will pay for a whopping 65 percent of the cost of your photovoltaic system.

Solar tax credits encourage capital investment, stimulate the economy and lower our reliance on fossil fuels.

October. It’s not often that I applaud Congress but these credits are smart: they encourage capital investment, they stimulate the economy and, since they lower our reliance on fossil fuels, they’re good for the environment and help with our trade imbalance. As a socially conscious businessman, this makes me happy.

So what exactly changed? These solar credits have actually been available for a while, but they were so limited that for most taxpayers it was almost pointless to bother with them.

Now, starting in 2009 taxpayers can get an unlimited 30 percent federal tax credit for every dollar of photovoltaic panels and inverters they install in their home or business.

Credits like these are applied as if they were payments you made against your tax liability. For example, if you were going to owe $6,000 in federal tax on your 2009 return, but instead installed a qualified $20,000 system, you would generate $6,000 in credits that would completely offset your tax liability. Not a bad deal, huh?

Perhaps more importantly, credits can now be applied against the Alternative Minimum Tax (AMT).

Congress seems to create a lot of feelgood legislation that doesn’t really fix anything. In the tax arena they pass lots of nice credits but always limit them by not allowing their application against the dreaded AMT.

Is there any bad news? Well, a little.

Where before it was the fed’s $2,000 homeowner and AMT limitations that restricted the benefits of these credits, now it’s the state’s turn. While Hawaii has a generous $500,000 business limit, it restricts homeowners to just $5,000 annually. And the state has an even more miserly and pointless $350 multi-family limit (think apartments and condos).

Even among Maui’s wealthiest residents, there aren’t many people who can use $500,000 in credits annually. For reasons too complicated to explain here but created by the passive activity limitations in the tax code, it’s very difficult for anyone but a large corporation to take advantage of that limit. Now that the feds have acted, our state legislature should consider changes this session. Since they’re short on tax money, I hope they’ll consider lowering the annual limit for businesses to, say, $200,000 and using the savings to increase the annual limits on homeowners and multi-family units. (Nothing’s in the works at the moment; don’t hold your breath.)

So if you decide to install a system, how much electricity will you save? In general terms, approximately 6.5 percent of the total system cost will be returned annually in electricity. Since the system will only cost you 35 percent of the total, the actual return on your investment is more than 18.5 percent annually. Plus the annual return is inflation protected since as oil goes up, so does your savings. This inflation adjusted return on investment is

Photo by Chandra Marsono

Shining a light on solar tax credits

Hey, there’s something in the bailout package that’ll actually help you! much better than any savings account, especially since it’s after-tax savings.

That’s because you get taxed on that paltry 2 percent earnings on your savings, but not on saving electricity.

OK, where do you start? First, talk to a few of the established solar companies on Maui. They’ll explain net metering and the technical aspects of the equipment, and size up your roof or yard for an install.

Start early, since there’s already a shortage of solar panels and it’s only going to get worse as the impact of these credits is felt. It’s also really important to have a

chat with your tax advisor before you start to avoid making an expensive mistake.

However, as an excellent starting guide for a homeowner I’d recommend an annual installation starting in 2009 of $14,285.71, inclusive of GET. This is the Hawaii state credit limit of $5,000 divided by 35 percent. Any dollar you spend over this will still generate the 30 percent federal credit but you won’t get the state’s help anymore. So if your roof has room for a $60,000 system, plan on doing it over four or more years. Then sit back and let the sunshine in. MTW

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MAUICOUNTY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

seem to want to shrug it off as “Wayne being Wayne.” Weaker. The only plausible explanation is that Nishiki knew how a $100,000 loan from a big, bad developer was going to look—especially in light of the shots he took at his opponent—and wanted to keep the whole mess under the radar. The notion that after years of fighting big development Nishiki is suddenly going to become Dowling’s lapdog seems far-fetched at best—but that’s what makes this whole thing such an absurd bit of self-sabotage: by concealing the loan, Nishiki fed the fire rather than dousing it, and in the process raised serious questions about his integrity. The next step in the unfolding melodrama is a December 17 date with the Board of Ethics. We’ll be there.

WEDNESDAY, DECEMBER 3 Here’s something pretty cool: Hawaii is on track to become the first state to install widespread electric car charging stations, according to an Associated Press report. The stations, which will be built by a Californiabased company called Better Place, are set to open in 2012 and will number between 50,000 and 100,000.

Better still, the power will supposedly be drawn exclusively from alternative sources, making this, seemingly, a genuine break from fossil fuel dependence rather than a lip-servicey attempt to “green up” business as usual. OK, great idea. Now the hard part begins—executing it…In other, much less hopeful news: A headline from an AP story printed in today’s Maui News: “Poor economy has more troops re-enlisting.” Yep, nothing keeps the Army stocked with warm bodies quite like a spiraling financial crisis. Let’s see, greed got us into this war, greed got us into this economic mess, now the economic mess is going to keep the war stocked with soldiers…I’m sensing a pattern.

THURSDAY, DECEMBER 4 Quoted in today’s Maui News, Wayne Nishiki’s lawyer called the backlash against his client “overblown.” The statements reiterate the same argument we’ve already heard: lots of politicians file forms late, what’s the big deal? But that dodges the real question, which is, what was the motivation behind the late filing? Some have blamed forgetfulness. That’s awfully weak. Others

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

It’s funny how some Republicans have created a mythical image of Ronald Reagan in their minds that in no way lines up with reality, and now use that image to make arguments that are actually self-defeating. Here’s an example: I got a press release today from the group Vision And Values touting an essay titled “Shades of Reagan: Sarah And the Leakers.” The basic premise is that the post-election Palin-bashing coming from “liberal journalists and moderate Republican[s]” echoes what Reagan went through when he first burst onto the national scene. The conclusion is that Reagan turned out to be the Greatest Leader the World Has Ever Seen, so Palin must have similar potential if she’s sparking the same outrage from all those commie journalists with their “gotcha” follow-up questions. The reality of course is that there is a parallel between Ronnie and Sarah, just not the one the Vision And Values folks want to draw: both were more style than substance, and both successfully played on the base instincts of their party’s farright fringe by winking, framing complex issues in dangerously simple terms and harkening back to some whitewashed utopian America that never really existed.

SATURDAY, DECEMBER 6 That’s gonna be awkward: According to multiple sources, Gov. Lingle has invited President-elect Obama to meet with her during his upcoming holiday visit to Oahu. Lingle, you’ll recall, campaigned hard for McCain-Plain, taking some notso-veiled shots at Obama and even throwing her own state under the bus in the process. More recently, she was a conspicuous no-show at a meeting between Obama and the nation’s governors. If Lingle really is angling for a Senate seat in 2010 as the buzz suggests, it might be time to make nice.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Photo by Alan Trotter

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 5

Who resurrected the electric car?

SUNDAY, DECEMBER 7 Best line of the week, from state Farm Bureau chief Dean Okimoto, quoted in today’s Maui News: “Agriculture is the Rodney Dangerfield of the economy.” For them, sex is like shooting pool with a rope, I tell ya…

was born in the Panama Canal Zone. The courts, backed by strong evidence, have repeatedly slapped these things down, but we know at least one third party candidate, and third-place finisher, who’s sitting at home with his fingers crossed.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 9 MONDAY, DECEMBER 8 Just got word that Rep. Bob Nakasone died yesterday. Nakasone has been battling cancer but decided to run for re-election last month and won easily. Now, Democrats have to submit a list of names to Gov. Lingle, who will pick Nakasone’s successor. So two things: first, and most important, a nod to the life of a longtime public servant and respected community member; second, a watchful eye on who will be tapped to serve out his term…In other news: Nader wins! At least one of the people challenging Obama’s citizenship is also claiming runner-up McCain is ineligible to serve as president because he

As reported in today’s Honolulu StarBulletin, only 42 percent of football players at the University of Hawaii go on to earn diplomas, according to a recent study. That puts them in secondto-last place among NCAA schools, ahead of only the University of Arizona.

Even worse, there’s a sadly-not-surprising racial component to the Warriors’ abysmal showing: 60 percent of white players at UH graduate compared to just 40 percent of black players. In the Bulletin article, school administrators made the right overtures about fixing the problem, but talk—unlike a college education—is cheap. MTW

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13

Give the gifts of Maui, and keep your cash local

S

hopping—some love it, some loathe it. For those in the latter category, the holiday season, with its long lines, overly cheerful canned music and mandatory purchasing sprees, can be tough. Let us ease the pain a little by offering a silver lining.

As we told you in our last gift guide, by doing your holiday shopping at locally owned businesses you can keep your dollars here on Maui, boosting the local economy, saving jobs, etc.

According to figures from an economic research firm, if every reader of Maui Time put $100 into the cash registers of local businesses instead of big box chains, that would add up to an extra $2 million staying on-island. That’s significant.

OK, we’ve sold you on the idea. Now, what do you buy? Allow us to offer a few humble suggestions, from the swanky to the silly, from high end to low budget. Whatever you purchase, remember—it’s the thought that counts. So think local. – JS

By Jessica Armstrong, Kate Bradshaw & Jacob Shafer

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Lavender fudge sauce $15 Alii Kula Lavender Farm

Banana Bread $5-$10 Hana Paradise Farms

Banana bread Hana Paradise Farms 2910 Hana Hwy. 248-7553 The drive out to Hana is remarkable for a number of reasons. But we’re not here to talk about the breathtaking scenery or the insanely narrow hairpin turns—we’re here to talk about banana bread. And specifically, the banana bread at Hana Farms, which numerous sources have called the best they’ve tasted. Given the abundance of great banana bread and other such goodies at establishments and small stands along Hana Hwy., let alone Maui as a whole, that’s saying something. You can get your loaf plain, or flavored with everything from pineapple to mac nuts to chocolate chips. They also sell fruit, candy and other delectables. Plus, they have a really cool bicycle powered mixer. [JS]

Lavender fudge sauce Alii Kula Lavender Farm 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula 878-3004 or www.aliikulalavender.com If you’ve ever wondered how many things can possibly be made with lavender, a visit to this Upcountry farm is in order. In addition to being a wonderful place to stroll around and enjoy sweeping views, the gift shop is a veritable goldmine (or lavender mine, if you will), especially if anyone on your list is an unabashed lover of that fragrant purple flower. From soap to lotion to clothing, they’ve got it. But perhaps most intriguing are the edible offerings, ranging from the predictable (candy, scones) to the wholly unusual (coffee, salad dressing). Our favorite is the fudge sauce; it’s the kind of concoction that practically begs to be eaten straight from the jar and that elevates a run-of-the-mill sundae to elite status. [JS]

An evening out

Gift Certificate Island-wide

Fine local restaurants island-wide When the economic going gets tough and budgetary belts are tightened, the first thing that gets the axe is often dining out, especially at places that aren’t big, cheap and family friendly. So what better gift to give the cash-strapped couple in your life than a romantic evening for two over gourmet entrees and a bottle of good wine, sans rug rats?

Just contact their favorite restaurant (in keeping with the theme of this issue, make it a locally owned one), buy a gift certificate and cap the package off with a few hours of kid sitting. It’s a surefire winner, and if you’ve got progeny of your own it’s an obvious wink-wink, nudge-nudge for a return of the favor. [JS]

Guri-Guri $1-$5 Tasaka, Maui Mall

Guri-guri Tasaka Maui Mall, 70 East Ka’ahumanu Ave. , Kahului 871-4513 Ice cream doesn’t exactly make for an ideal stocking stuffer, unless you happen to hang your stocking in a meat locker. But a gift certificate, or even just a promise to buy a few scoops at this beloved frozen treat dispensary, should suffice. Tasaka doesn’t have a monopoly on guri-guri, a locally adored goodie that’s best described as the perfect marriage between sherbet and ice cream. But their version is famous across the isles and beyond. Once a well-kept local secret, Tasaka is now featured in guidebooks and listed as one of those things you have to try. Its under-the-radar appeal may be melting away like a scoop in the sun, but its simple deliciousness remains firmly intact. [JS]

Send an e-mail to pledge@mauitime.com, write “I pledge” in the body of the message (that’s your promise to buy from locally owned businesses) and you’ll be entered in a drawing to win a $1,000 gift certificate package.

Now enrolling for Winter Session, beginning January 12, 2009 Beginner, Intermediate, & Advanced Classes Classroom Environment Call for Prices & Schedule

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

15

3673 Baldwin Avenue, Makawao • 572.1407 Open extended holiday hours Thursdays til 8pm thru Christmas

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Orchids Maui Gold Rum Available island-wide Perhaps it’s because my ancestry is sprinkled with seafaring folks, but I find rum to be one of the more enjoyable substances on the planet.

Although it’s traditionally featured in day-glo beachside concoctions, the stuff works well within the context of wintertime beverages.

Exhibit A: nog. Now I must disclose here that I do not consume nog of eggs, per say. (My coworkers laugh at me because I thoroughly enjoy soy nog, especially with a few fingers of rum.) For those who can do real nog, a brilliant solution to the what-to-bring-to-the-party quandary is to bring a bottle of locally produced rum—Kimo’s Maui Gold Rum will do the trick and isn’t too pricey. Make it extra special with locally produced nog ingredients, which typically include eggs (separated, whipped, etc), whipping cream and milk. An associate of mine (my mom) adds ginger to the mix and tops it with nutmeg. [KB]

Coffee $20 MauiGrown Coffee

Maui Gold Rum $20 Kimo’s Rum

Tropical Gardens of Maui 200 Iao Valley Road, Wailuku 244-3085 I’m not sure why orchids are such a big deal in Hawaii, but whether they know it or not everybody out here probably has a friend or two who’s into growing the rare, exotic buds. Maybe orchid enthusiasts are lurking in small towns everywhere and I am the oblivious one, but whether you’re shopping for a flower freak or your favorite grandmother, orchids are going to go over pretty well. It doesn’t even have to be grown yet; you can buy bulbs. The potential beauty is enough to put a tear of excitement in any auntie’s eye. Personally, I think this gift (the already flowering kind) would be perfect for the girl you just started dating a month ago and aren’t sure if you should get her anything or not. You could buy them online, but why would you do that when you can buy locally from the experts over at Tropical Gardens of Maui? [JA]

Mango Essence Tea

Decorative rocks

Maui Sun Tea Co. Natural food stores island-wide or www.mauisuntea.com It’s easy to forget how awesome tea is. It’s especially tasty on those days when one’s liver is threatening to file for divorce. It lends a certain purity, warmth and stillness to any setting. Operating out of Kula, Maui Sun Tea Co. offers some most rejuvenating blends. Their Mango Essence Tea, for example, consists of lemongrass, oatstraw, mullein, cinnamon, licorice, stevia and, of course, mango flavor. The beauty of gifting specialty tea (and, probably, appropriate tea consumption accessories) is that, unlike some consumable gifts, you probably won’t offend somebody you don’t know very well, such as distant relatives or new in-laws. You can find Maui Sun Tea Co.’s wears at natural food stores as well as online. [KB]

Supernatural 3682 Baldwin Avenue, Makawao 573-2385 Before you go giving out another round of scented candles to people when you don’t know what they’d like, want or need, stop for a second and consider if they’ve gotten around to burning the one you gave them last year. Yes, the impulse to pass the pumpkin-vanilla bean-spice around can be strong—but try to resist. Instead, consider giving a decorative rock, like the many sparkling, colorful minerals of all shapes and sizes you can find at Supernatural. Rocks are said to have powers that border on the mystical and benefits for health and happiness. And for the decoratively challenged they also offer rocks that can be worn around the neck or slipped into a pocket. [JA]

Orchid Tropical Gardens of Maui

Rasta Wall Hangings Growler Maui Brew Co. 910 Honoapiilani Highway #55, Lahaina 669-3474 www.mauibrewingco.com I suck at Christmas shopping. Not gonna lie. It’s books and booze for my loved ones. I fortunately do not have any loved ones who do not read or drink—in fact, most are prodigious at both. Perhaps you’re the same way. You could go the sixer in wrapping paper route, but how cliché. And irresponsible, given the economic as well as the ecological implications. Good thing Maui Brewing Company sells its beer in half-gallon glass jugs known as growlers. When you buy the jug you pay for the container as well as 64 ounces of beer (four pints).

Your loved one can return to the brewery for refills as much as he or she wishes. Cost wise, a pint of the good stuff for those wielding growlers is less than what one would pay for a pint of its watery offisland counterparts at any given bar. Plus there’s the environmental aspect: no glass bottles to be hauled off island for recycling. See? Beer is a win-win. [KB]

Available at head shops and craft fairs island-wide Growler This is a gift that would be perfect for your high school-aged, long$22 haired nephew who surfs, listens to reggae on the radio and is Maui Brew Co. about to realize that he’s part Jamaican. He’ll appreciate the one with Bob Marley sparking a fatty on it but the ‘rents probably won’t let him hang it in his room, so you should go with the Lion one with the red, green and yellow border. These things are big, so they’re also good for your couch-surfing stoner friend, who can use it as a curtain to keep the 11am light out his eyes or as a blanket for those cold, lonely nights spent on the beach. [JA]

Decorative rock Supernatural

MauiGrown Coffee 277 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina 661-2728 Come the Apocalypse and the resulting breakdown in lines of communication and transportation, there is one disaster that Maui, unlike many of the planet’s other population centers, will probably avoid: running out of coffee. Could you imagine being in some Midwestern city that’s surrounded by zombies without the ability to stay awake? Thanks to MauiGrown Coffee, which grows the majority of its beans in the vast stretches of Kaanapali Estate and peddles them in Lahaina, Mauiains can rest assured that they’ll get their caffeine fix, unless a pestilence is unleashed on the island’s crops. (But let’s not worry about that.) In the meantime, their coffee makes a most excellent gift. I would go for the darker roasts, like the Espresso or the Lava Flow. [KB]

Mango essence tea $5 Maui Sun Tea Co.

Rasta wall hangings Head Shops

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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17

Dude Pleasing T-Shirt $20 Maui Thing

Island Hunny T-shirt Sisters & Co. Boutique and Salon The Shops at Wailea 874-0003 Like many, I generally view shopping malls as second only to Wal Mart when it comes to signifying what's wrong with humanity. This is in part why malls make a perfect setting for zombie movies. Think about it. But Shops at Wailea provides an exception to that rule, a local jewel in the overly polished corporate rough. Sisters, which was originally stationed near the Barmuda Triangle, is packed with locally made jewelry and clothing. What stands out immediately are the screen print skull-and-cross bone T-shirts that constitute the Island Hunny line, a brand that's exclusive to the boutique. If someone on your list errs on the side of funky this place is a pretty safe bet, but there are some understated items as well. This is the type of mold-breaking stuff that may be worth weathering the mall for. [KB]

Island Hunny T-Shirt $38 Sisters & Co.

Decorated purse AnAloha Boutique 117 Prison St., Lahaina 661-5274 Funk is a key element of true existence. No matter how one manifests it, the funk is a spark within us all, something so fundamental to happiness that to suppress it brings on a cancerous sense of quiet desperation. This is not to say that haphazard flamboyance is a virtue. In fact, cultivating a calculated sense of funk is a true challenge. Some choose to adorn themselves with clothing and accessories that are totemic of the elemental funk that shimmers within their cells. For those who will be shopping for such individuals this year I recommend stopping by AnAloha Boutique, which features stuff for the dudes as well as the ladies. Purchasing clothes for those particular about cut and cloth is never a good idea. However, there are some pretty sweet accessories here. My favorite: a fake fur purse that sports feathers and an abalone shell. [KB]

Coco-Loco Jewelry Cafe Marc Aurel

Coco-Loco jewelry Cafe Marc Aurel 28 N. Market St., Wailuku 244-0852 Due to its proximity to my place of employment, I pretty much live at Cafe Marc Aurel. They caffeinate me in the morning and make me slightly less socially awkward at pau hana. Their green ethic is extremely admirable, as are their tireless efforts to promote local artists and musicians.

Plus everyone employed there is effing cool. Currently available for sale at this establishment is Coco-Loco jewelry, a line of tribal wear crafted from coconut, seashells, wood and, yes, water buffalo bone and horn. Included in the collection are carved fishhooks and intricately whittled plugs for the pierced. Every piece screams Maui, which makes Coco Loco items a can't-miss choice for a good chunk of those on your list. [KB]

100% MAUI COFFEE!

The hot dress Mahina 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-3453 335 Keawe St., #208, Lahaina, 661-0383 23 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9131 In general I advise the following: never, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever, ever give a female an article of clothing for Christmas. It’s a gesture out of which no good—none, I tell you!—will come. That said, the one clothing item I feel comfortable endorsing is a dress featured at my favorite chick clothing store on island, Mahina. The dress, pictured, is one-size-fits-all, but unlike most of the often dumpy stuff labeled “free size” it doesn’t make girls who require more than an A cup look pregnant. It’s soft, formfitting and reveals just enough cleavage. Plus it comes in a wide spectrum of colors, each with a lovely floral pattern down the front. I own it in teal and lavender. If you simply must purchase a piece of clothing for a female on your list, go with this one. [KB]

Dude pleasing T-shirt Maui Thing 7 N. Market St., Wailuku www.mauithing.com Buying clothes for guys can be an equally dicey proposition, if for different reasons. Unless the man on your list is an exception to the rule, he probably doesn’t care that much about what he wears and thus won’t be too stoked on some ensemble of designer duds. That said, what self-respecting male doesn’t love a good T-shirt? Enter Maui Thing, the island’s hip, eco conscious purveyor of funky tees that combine wearability with cool slogans and stuff, making them a sure bet to please even the most clothing-averse dude. (They also, of course, have lots of great apparel for the ladies.) [JS]

18

DECEMBER 11, 2008

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

19

A REAL ukulele

Custom Surf Board

Bounty Music 111 Hana Hwy. , Kahului 871-1141 or www.ukes.com Right after gaudy floral print shirts, those little dashboard hula girls and a tiki anything, a ukulele is probably the most clichéd Hawaiian gift you can purchase. Don’t let that scare you off. If you invest in a quality uke rather than some flimsy plastic knockoff, you’ll not only be giving a genuine piece of local culture but a fine, deceptively simple instrument that, when played properly, can stand toe-to-toe with any of its more famous stringed brethren. Bounty Music offers an impressive selection of ukes spanning an array of shapes, sizes and sounds.

Whether you’re buying for a clumsy but intrepid beginner or a seasoned strummer, they’ve got the music-maker for you. And don’t worry if you enter the store short on knowledge; their staff is well schooled enough to guide you in the right direction. Sure beats a tiki bottle opener. [JS]

Kazuma Surf Shop, 375 West Kuiaha Rd. , Haiku 575-7510 or www.kazumasurf.com Being the birthplace of surfing and all, Hawaii is home to a number of world-renowned shapers. One name that rises to the top is Matt Kazuma Kinoshita. A Maui-based board master with more than three decades of experience, Kazuma has gained the trust and admiration of some of the island’s best surfers and has outfitted more than one upand-coming pro. Each of his creations is handcrafted with expertise and care—just like the waves they’re built to glide along, no two boards are alike. Of course, getting something of this caliber and quality comes with a price tag that may be beyond some people’s budget. But if you’ve got a hardcore barrel-rider on your list who’s been very good this year, consider this the ultimate reward. They don’t even make ‘em this good in Santa’s workshop. [JS]

Kite

Eco Tours

Maui Toy Works Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. , Lahaina 661-4766 Kite flying is one of Maui ’s more underrated activities. With frequent gusts and long stretches of open sand, this is an exemplary place to enjoy the simple pleasure of releasing a windcatching piece of fabric into the air and watching it dance with the breeze, tethered to earth only by the string in your hand. In addition to being a wonderfully meditative activity, kite flying is a great thing to do with your kids. For 25 years, Maui Toy Works has been offering Valley Isle parents an alternative to the corporate plastic slingers. In addition to games, puzzles, books and the like, they’ve got a nice selection of colorful, functional kites that are easy to fly and will stand up to even the stiffest tradewinds (within reason, of course). While the wee ones may be squealing for the newest thing that beeps and flashes, try something different this year. Nintendo Wiis are awesome, but do they know how to fly? [JS]

Pacific Whale Foundation, 300 Maalaea Rd., Ste. 211 249-8811 or www.pacificwhale.org There are a lot of ways to engage the ocean, from the elaborate (a gear-laden SCUBA expedition) to the simple (just diving in). The nice thing about taking an aquatic adventure with the Pacific Whale Foundation is that even as you’re enjoying Maui ’s amazing water wonderland, you’re helping to preserve a fragile ecosystem and to protect and sustain some of the most amazing creatures on Earth. Unlike some of the island’s other guided outings, you don’t have to be a tourist to get something meaningful out of the Foundation’s numerous eco tours. While they emphasize environmental sensitivity, the experience is plenty immersive; you’ll still get to go eyeball to blowhole with whales, dolphins and other denizens of the deep. If you’re looking to play the romantic angle, they also offer sunset and specialty holiday cruises replete with food, libations and a little mood-enhancing stargazing. [JS]

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

ONO KINEGRINDS

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Spread the Blues Stella Blues dishes out dinnertime goodness fter a few late Sunday breakfast excursions I knew I loved the banana mac nut pancakes; I’d also spent a couple of afternoons bellied up at the bar. But until last weekend I’d never done dinner at Stella Blues. Now I’m sorry I waited so long.

A

Stella Blues Daily 7:30am-11pm 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei 874-3779

Despite its spacious interior and ample outdoor seating, Stella’s location—in the back corner of the Azeka Shopping Center in Kihei—makes the restaurant easy to miss from South Kihei Road.

Fortunately, from its early days as a small, lovably quirky lunch and breakfast outfit to the current South Maui incarnation, Stella’s has gained enough of a reputation to motivate patrons to seek it out.

After ordering a round of sippables (the mai tais are tall and generous on the active ingredients) and admiring the festive holiday décor, we turned our attention to the menu. It quickly became apparent that the challenge was going to be narrowing it down to just a few choices. Stella’s is the kind of place that’s both good and bad for people who aren’t sure what they want. Good because the options run the gamut; bad because, well, the options run the gamut.

After a prolonged deliberation I settled on the grilled pork chop. Served with caramelized onions and mashed potatoes, it was everything a good pork chop should be— tender, moist and flavorful.

My companions sampled a range of options. The macadamia nut-crusted mahi got high marks, as did the New York steak, which has the added distinction of being Maui-grown beef. For non-carnivorous types, the veggie stir-fry with tofu and rice is a flavorful alternative; it made the grade with my wife, a sort of sometimes vegetarian who knows a good meatless option when she tastes it.

Backing up a bit, I would be remiss if I didn’t mention the Eyes of the World roll, an appetizer you should try no matter what entrée is set to follow. Ahi, cucumber, spinach and rice are wrapped in panko sprinkled nori, fried to a crisp and augmented by a Thai chili aioli dipping sauce. The portion—as with all the other dishes—is ample, but there still won’t be enough to go around. So order two.

Dessert was a pair of dishes shared among four, the best our full bellies could muster. The Kona coffee ice cream sandwich with whipped cream and caramel sauce is as enticing as that description would suggest, but the winner in my eyes (and, judging by how fast it disappeared, a couple of my dining mates’ as well) was the Bananas Foster. It’s a bold statement, but—with hints of rum tangoing with two scoops of vanilla ice cream in a pool of pure gooey goodness—that was perhaps the best banana-based dish I’ve had on-island.

I may have taken my sweet time sitting down for dinner at Stella’s, but it’s a safe bet I’ll be back sooner than later.

See you there. MTW Photos: (above) pork chop, mac nut-crusted mahi; (right) Kona coffee ice cream sandwich, Bananas Foster.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

23

MUSICSCENE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Smokin’ grass The string’s the thing with this eclectic collective

X

All three view Jimi Hendrix as a major influence and they do a mean cover of Duke Ellington’s “In a Sentimental Mood.” Just don’t ask them to play “The Devil Went Down to Georgia.”

BrownChicken BrownCow String Band Next gigs: Fri., Dec. 12, 9pm at Mulligan’s on the Blue, Wailea; Sun., Dec. 14, 3:30pm at Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali Web site: MySpace.com/brownchickenbrowncowstringband While bluegrass in pure form has the tendency to get stale to the untrained ear after about an hour or so, the boys seem to be able to craft their songs with a rare dynamism capable of luring and retaining a diverse constituency of listeners.

They’ve been playing together for less than a year, but you wouldn’t know it.

Their playing is incredibly tight despite some damned intricate melodies and complex song structures, and they pull it off with the kind of comfort and ease that only come after spending every waking moment making music together—which is, from the look of it, what they do.

It seems slightly incongruous that a string band from Lewisburg, West Virginia—a band that counts Civil War

reenactments among its past gigs—would want to come to Maui to peddle its wares.

But in the short time they’ve been here they’ve amassed quite a following.

When seated at an outdoor café in Paia, nearly everyone who passes honks their horn, waves or flashes a shaka.

Ultimately, though, the boys are just passing through; they plan to head back east in May, and then head for Europe in the fall.

“You can’t go home if you’re already there,” says Xander who, in addition to playing fiddle, sings and plays guitar, banjo and probably a dozen other instruments.

They’ve played Ambrosia, Café Marc Aurel, the Dog & Duck and can often be seen jamming on the sidewalk at various spots throughout Paia. They play at Mulligan’s on the Blue on Friday evening and will do an afternoon set or two at Whaler’s Village on Sunday.

Being on Maui has already had an impact on their sound—a beneficial side effect of

Photos by Nicholas Vaughn

ander’s fiddle is older than any person (120 years) and cries some mean crocodile tears. Justin’s guitar dates back to the ’30s and smells like a musty attic.

Orion’s mandolin was crafted in 2006 but sounds like its strings could have been the first on which “Man of Constant Sorrow” was ever plucked.

The three West Virginia boys— Justin Morris and brothers Xander and Orion Hitzig—that constitute the BrownChicken BrownCow String Band are strikingly young to be such proficient purveyors of old-timey music. To watch them on stage, standing around a single mic, is surreal; they look like they wandered here from another time and place.

To watch them jam on a front porch somewhere in the night, in the rain, crickets chirping, is unreal.

Those of us who haven’t been steeped in the music of the Deep South would call them bluegrass, but we’d be mistaken.

The old music makers back home would never in a million years call it that, the boys say.

The trio incorporates a long list of elements into its tunes, which consist of about 70 percent originals and 30 percent covers: old-time fiddle, “new age” folk, gypsy jazz, Celtic, reggae and others, they say.

“It’s hard to label something you’re in the middle of,” says Morris.

being on the road, the boys say, especially given the authentic music of the isles and the long list of phenomenal musicians here.

Their approach to recording and promoting in each locale is unique; they use a new set of photos and other promotional materials for each place and record a disc that will only be released in that one spot.

The CDs they’re selling at their Maui shows are not available anywhere else.

“It’s already started changing the way we play,” says Morris. “Without a doubt.

Maui is a magic place.” MTW

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DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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TV series on DVD PUSHING DAISIES It’s that time of year again: the rain has started pouring. When you’re not trying to keep your feet dry while wearing slippers and wondering where your umbrella is (the print version of Maui Time Weekly is multifunctional, by the way), you’re craving entertainment for those long, gray days. Well, fret not. I’m going to arm you with all sorts of entertainment goodness. We’ll begin with the first season of Pushing Daisies. I don’t know why I’m such a squealing fangirl for Lee Pace—maybe it’s those thick, caterpillar-like eyebrows. The recipe for Pushing Daisies is simple: boy meets girl; boy falls in love with girl; girl dies and boy brings girl back to life. Now, boy can’t touch girl ever again or girl will stay dead. Throw in healthy servings of witty banter, dysfunctional families and Scooby Doo-esque shenanigans and you’ve got your afternoon booked.

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FLIGHT OF THE CONCHORDS If you haven’t heard about this “gangsta”-folk duo, you’re missing out. The series is a fictionalized tale centered on bandmates Jermaine Clement, aka the Hiphopopotamus, and Bret McKenzie, aka the Rhymenoceros.

Jermaine and Bret are folk musicians who have left their native New Zealand to seek fame and fortune in New York. New York, however, has other ideas. Each episode traces the Conchords’ troubles, including the obsessive attentions of their only fan, their landlord and their band manager. That might not sound very enticing, but now add hilarious and sometimes psychedelic musical outbursts to every episode. Yeah, you like that, don’t you? Musical hits include, “She’s So Hot…Boom,” “Business Time” and “Ladies of the World.” Go ahead and Youtube them if you don’t believe me.

FIREFLY Welcome to quite possibly the most awesome futuristic, space-cowboy series to ever have just one season. Earth has been over-populated, forcing its inhabitants to conquer the final frontier, where a force known as the Alliance controls a majority of the known universe. Enter the crew of the Firefly. These nine rogue-ish characters fight the Alliance, criminals, and what have you, sometimes even for free. Of course, representations of major sci-fi stereotypes are present: the bad-ass and brooding captain, the loyal first mate, the hot geisha, the lovable mechanic and the psychotic child prodigy, among others. Action and sexual tension plague the Firefly like scurvy plagues pirates, but this time, it’s a good thing. It’s worth noting that your television is not broken during those silent space scenes; apparently, no sound can be transmitted within the vacuum of space. So, now that you’re more than amply armed against boredom during these rainy days, all you have to worry about is the power going out. Again. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

25

FILMCRITIQUE

BY BARRY WURST II BARRY@MAUITIME.COM

Cruel and unusual Comic book clunker makes ‘Catwoman’ look like ‘Citizen Kane’ rank Castle is the Punisher, a once normal man who witnesses the murder of his family, goes off the deep end and spends the rest of his life “punishing” the criminal element; he’s like Batman, minus the cape and plus

F

Punisher: War Zone

★★★★★ Rated R/107 min.

even more rage. The first Punisher movie came out in 1989, starred Dolph Lundgren and hardly anyone noticed (it went straight to video in the U.S.). The second one was released four years ago and came close to being decent but was still

unloved by audiences and critics. Now, in his second cinematic re-boot, Castle is played by Ray Stevenson of TV’s Rome. Whoop-de-doo.

Remember the teleportation machine in The Fly and how it fused Jeff Goldblum with an insect? Well, if you fused Steven Seagal, a bulldog and a lumberjack, you’d get Ray Stevenson. As far as his acting abilities go, he makes one pine for the emotional dynamics of Jean-Claude Van Damme or the subtle nuances of Hulk Hogan. He makes Keanu Reeves look like Marlon Brando.

Stevenson wears the same expression for the entire movie: an angry squint that suggests he has to pee really, really bad. In his leading man debut, he all but guarantees that this will be the last time he’s given a starring film role.

Then again, anyone would look foolish in a movie this bad. As far as poor comic book adaptations go, this one is several rungs below the likes of Catwoman and Judge Dredd.

The Maui Film Festival’s

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MauiFilmFestival.com 26

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Punisher: War Zone goes wrong from the first scene, where a He lost his family, you lost two hours of your life. cluster of I dug deep and found a single compliactors playing Italian mobsters sport ment I can give the filmmakers: the lightbadda-bing accents as phony as their ing is colorful. That’s it—the only good macho posturing. Eventually, one of the thing about quite possibly the worst movie gangsters, played by Dominic West (in a of the year. performance nearly as bad as This character has possibilities as a Stevenson’s), is horribly scarred, the first film franchise, but is seemingly cursed of the film’s many (failed) attempts to borby directors and screenwriters who row from the Batman movies. can’t bring Castle’s sad journey to life.

If you’re looking for an action flick, The prior Punisher films were B-movies Quantum of Solace, Australia and even Bolt but at least had leading men who resemare superior alternatives. Those seeking bled or embodied the role. From the hard-core violence will similarly be let looks of things, this series may need yet down. Movie violence can work on many another re-boot. If that means having to levels: it can be shocking, dramatically powwatch Castle’s family get slaughtered erful or even cartoonishly over-the-top. again and witness another vile Here, the spurting blood and exploding decathlon of blood and guts with no heads have all the artfulness of a kid playing heart, count me out. MTW with ketchup packets at McDonald’s.

MOVIECAPSULES First Light Film Festival ELEGY - Ben Kingsley stars opposite Penelope Cruz as a professor whose affair with a graduate student wreaks havoc on his life. 108 min.

SLUMDOG MILLIONAIRE - A Mumbai street kid is inches away from winning a million bucks on a quiz show when he is arrested on suspiscion of cheating. But there is more here than meets the eye. 120 min.

New This Week

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

CADILLAC RECORDS - R - Drama - Beyonce Knowles as Etta James? Mos Def as Chuck Berry? Cedric the Entertainer as Willie Dixon? This flick chronicles the lives of some of the most influential musicians ever, all of whom recorded with legendary Chicago-based label Chess records. 109 min.

CHANGELING - R - Drama - No, this is not a remake of that super-crusty, bone-chilling 1980 ghost flick. Instead, it tells the story of some woman played by Angelina Jolie. Said woman’s son is kidnapped, only to return behaving in a manner that is utterly suspect. As you probably guessed, this based on true events. 141 min.

THE DAY THE EARTH STOOD STILL PG13 - Sci-Fi - Keanu Reeves stars in this remake of the 1951 flick about an alien and his giant robot pal who go gallivanting around planet earth. Any film with a giant robot gets my vote. 103 min.

FOUR CHRISTMASES - PG13 - Comedy Holy crap! A romantic comedy involving Christmas? Am I dreaming? Plot as follows: An un-married couple (Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon) slogs through Christmas day visiting each of their four divorced (and presumably bitter) parents. 88 min.

DELGO - PG - Animation - A young misfit and his unlikely friends must do all they can to keep their world from falling apart in the face of a war between the Lockni and Nohrin peoples. 107 min.

MADAGASCAR: ESCAPE 2 AFRICA - G Animation - After a series of mishaps a group of animals with famous people voices finds themselves in the heart of the motherland. 89 min.

NOTHING LIKE THE HOLIDAYS - PG13 Comedy - Well, it depends on what you mean by “no” and “thing.” In any case, this film is about a Puerto Rican family living in Chicago that is undergoing what may be their last Christmas together. Any film with a giant robot gets my vote. 99 min.

Now Showing AUSTRALIA - PG13 - Drama - A dainty aristocrat reluctantly pairs up with a tough Aussie cowboy dude in an attempt to keep cattle barons from taking over the huge chunk of land she just inherited. Takes place during WWII. 165 min.

BEVERLY HILLS CHIHUAHUA - PG Comedy - A film that just absolutely needed do be made involving a spoiled chihuahua named Chloe who gets lost while on vacation in Mexico and sets out to try to find her way home with help from real chihuahuas. 91 min.

BOLT - G - Animation - A computer-animated dog that stars in a television show leaves his sheltered surroundings when he thinks his owner is lost. Lessons in humility ensue. 96 min.

NOBEL SON - R - Comedy - The son of a philandering Nobel Prize winner is kidnapped and held for a $2 million ransom, which said dad refuses to pay. Any film with a giant robot gets my vote. 102 min.

PUNISHER: WAR ZONE - R - Action - The comic book character-based hero continues to kick ass in the sequel to the movie, apparently made a few years ago, with which it shares its characters as well as, probably, its plot. 103 min.

QUANTUM OF SOLACE - R - Action - On the heels of his latest explosion-filled fiasco Bond finds himself trying to stop some dude from taking control over a key part of South America’s water supply. More things probably blow up, more martinis probably get shaken and more hot babes probably get nailed. 106 min.

TRANSPORTER 3 - PG13 - Action - Hmmm.

Didn’t know there was a Transporter or a Transporter 2. This involves the transportation of an important item at the behest of a criminal mastermind. Explosions ensue. 100 min.

TWILIGHT - PG13 - Fantasy - A shy, awkward teenage human female moves to a new town and discovers her mega-hot sexytime boy crush has a secret. A secret that involves being a vampire.

Could be worse. Trust me. 122 min.

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SHOWTIMES First Light Film Festival Castle Theater, MACC One Cameron Way, Kahului 242-SHOW (7469) Elegy - R - 5 Slumdog Millionaire - R - 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Australia - PG13 - Th 5, 8:30. F-W 5, 8:30. SaSu 1:30, 5, 8:30.

Bolt - G - Th only 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 The Day the Earth Stood Still - PG13 - F-W 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

Quantum of Solace - R - Th 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. F-W 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. Sa-Su 2:15, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Transporter 3 - PG13 - Th 4:30, 7, 9:30. F-W 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15.

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 8754910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Changeling - R - Th only 7:20 The Day the Earth Stood Still - PG13 - F-Sa 11, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5, 7:30, 9, 10. Su-W 11, 12, 1:30, 2:30, 4, 5, 7:30.

Madagascar: Escape 2 Africa - G - Th 11, 12, 1:05, 2:10, 3:10, 4:20, 5:15, 7:20. F-W 11:15, 12:30, 3:40, 5:50.

Nothing Like the Holidays - PG13 - F-Sa 11:05, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05, 10:20. Su-W 11:05, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05.

Transporter 3 - PG13 - Th 11:15, 12:35, 1:30, 2:50, 3:45, 5:05, 6, 7:20, 8:15. F-Sa 1:35, 3:45, 6, 8:15, 10:25. Su-W 1:35, 3:45, 6, 8:15.

Twilight - PG13 - Th 11, 12, 1:40, 2:40, 4:20, 5:20, 7, 8. F-Sa 11:10, 1:40, 4:20, 7, 8, 9:40, 10:20. Su-W 11:10, 1:40, 4:20, 7, 8.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Bolt - G - Th only 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05 Burn After Reading - R - 11, 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40 The Day the Earth Stood Still - PG13 - F-Sa 11, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20, 10:40. Su 11, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20. M-W 1, 3:20, 5:40, 8.

Four Christmases - PG13 - Th 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20. Sa-Su 11, 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20, 9:25. Su 11, 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20. M-W 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:20.

Quantum of Solace - R - Th 1, 3:25, 5:50, 8:15.

F-Sa 2:25, 4:50, 7:15. Su 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15.

M-W 1, 3:25, 5:50, 8:15.

Twilight - PG13 - Th 2:30, 5:10, 7:50. F-Sa 11, 1:45, 4:25, 7, 9:40. Su 11, 1:45, 4:20, 7. M-W 2:30, 5:10, 7:50.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Australia - PG13 - Th 1:30, 2, 5, 5:30, 8:30, 9.

F-W 1:30, 2, 5, 5:30, 8:30, 9.

Bolt - G - F-W 12:45, 3, 5:20, 7:40, 9:55. 3D 1:35, 4, 6:25, 8:50.

Cadillac Records - R - Th 1:50, 4:25, 7, 9:35. FW 1:50, 4:25, 7, 9:35.

Delgo - PG - F-Su 12, 2:15, 4:30, 6:45, 9. M-W 2:15, 4:30, 6:45, 9.

Four Christmases - PG13 - F-Su 12:05, 12:35, 2:20, 2:20, 2:50, 4:35, 5:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:05, 9:35. M-W 2:20, 2:50, 4:35, 5:05, 6:50, 7:20, 9:05, 9:35 .

Nobel Son - R - Th 1:45, 4:20, 6:55, 9:30. F-W 1:45, 4:20, 6:55, 9:30.

Punisher War Zone - R - Th 1:30, 2:15, 4:05, 4:50, 6:40, 7:25, 9:15, 10. F-W 1:30, 2:15, 4:05, 4:50, 6:40, 7:25, 9:15, 10.

Quantum of Solace - R - Th 2:20, 4:50, 6:20, 7:30, 8:45, 10. F-W 2:20, 4:50, 7:30, 10.

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Delgo - PG - F-W 2, 4:30. Sa-Su 11:30, 2, 4:30.

Four Christmases - PG13 - Th 1:45, 4:15, 6:30, 9. F-W 11:15, 1:45, 4:15, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 1:45, 4:15, 6:30, 9.

Punisher War Zone - R - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. FW 7, 9:30.

Twilight - PG13 - Th 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9:30. FW 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9:30. Sa-Su 11, 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9:30.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

27

THIS WEEK’S PICKS Delightfully disastrous

Tough broads make good

Thursday (Dec. 11), 7:30pm, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC

Saturday (Dec. 13), 6:30 pm, Mulligan’s on the Blue, Wailea

I know he’s done so much since, but the image of Scott Thompson that will forever be emblazoned on the walls of my memory stores is that of his signature Kids in the Hall character, Buddy Cole. Cole, a gay socialite with ridiculous hair, typically delivered monologues seated at a bar table wearing a purple silk jacket and sipping a martini. He tended to focus on gayness: “We were together for six months, which in heterosexual terms is three reincarnations with the same mate.”

Thompson’s most recent effort, Scottastrophe, is a one-man show, though he doesn’t adopt any personas and instead favors chronicling his own weird life. He touches upon a much wider variety of subjects than does his flaming alter-ego, though a common thread runs throughout: disaster.

He takes his audience to a variety of locales and talks terrorism, Paul McCartney and religion with an F-bomb or two tossed in for good measure. This should make for an evening of delicious irreverence, which is something we all need a dose of, especially this time of year. To check out some clips from the show, dial up www.myspace.com/scottastropheshow. $20.

Though I’m generally a non-competitive pacifist, some part of me has always wanted to join a rollerderby league. The only thing that’s kept me back is that I’m kind of a wuss; the thought of being clobbered by a chick who’s twice my size has led me to think twice. Those who are interested may like to know about Saturday’s Merry Rock N Derby, a fundraiser for Maui Rollergirls and a recruitment opportunity. Unattached dudes will want to check out the rollegirl date auction, during which they can bid on dates with some of Maui’s hottest, toughest chicks. Then there’s the music: The Celtic Tigers will kick off the show at 6:30pm and Order of the White Rose will take the stage at 10pm. $8/$5 with a nonwrapped toy, which will be donated to Toys for Tots.

THURSDAY

Light one up Wednesday (Dec. 17), 5pm, Castle Theater, MACC It’s that time; a chance to catch many of the year’s most righteous flicks at the Maui Film Festival’s annual FirstLight. A few dozen movies will screen throughout December and January, including an Ernesto “Che” Guevara biopic (with Benicio del Toro as Che!) that screens Dec. 20 and $9.99, which looks too trippy and profound to pass up (Jan. 3). The first two films on the block are Elegy, which chronicles a love affair between professor and student (played by Ben Kingsley and Penelope Cruz) and Slumdog Millionaire. Set in Mumbai, this film follows a penniless orphan’s incredible milliondollar quiz show victory. Admission $12; 4-Film VIP Fast Pass $40.

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

142 HANA HWY, PAIA

6:30–8:30PM ON SUNSET PATIO SET NO COVER 10PM–MIDNIGHT INSIDE ON STAGE $5 COVER

808-573-8085 Restaurant

THURSDAY DEC 11 Music 10PM -Close

LEATHER AND LACE PRODUCTIONS PRESENTS:

BRINGIN SEXY BACK

$10 COVER

featuring the HOTTEST GO-GO dancers on Maui!

LADIES FREE BEFORE 11PM

FRIDAY DEC 12 Music 10PM -Close JOHN BROWN’S BODY • INNA VISION & MARTY DREAD

Friday, December 12th•10pm Tickets $23

All tickets on sale at the Hard Rock Shop

www.charleyspaia.com

HAIKU HILLBILLIES

$10 COVER

SATURDAY DEC 13 Music 10PM -Close

HOI POLLOI (THE COMMON PEOPLE) also known to Maui as “The Room”

$10 COVER

REGGAE • ROCK • SKA

Home of the Jalapeno Margarita!

Freshly Made Sangria • Stolli Blueberry Hill • Caipirinha’s for all you Brazilians!

SUNDAY

Pyramid Hefeweizen $ Cherry Bombs $

3 3

900 FRONT STREET, LAHAINA • MAUI • 667-7400

28

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MONDAY PRIMO $ Captain Morgan $

2 2

TEQUILA Wahine THURSDAY FRIDAY JACKED UP TUESDAY Wednesday LOCAL NIGHT RASTA NIGHT SATURDAYS • Cazadores • 1800 • Corallejo • El Jimador

Ocean Vodka Martinis $

5 SHOT SPECIALS $4 to $7 Heineken $4

ALL Maui Brews

$4

3 5

Maui Rum $ Ocean Vodka $

4 3 4 5

RED STRIPE $ Bacardi Light $ Bacardi Select $ Bacardi Anejo $

Jack Daniels $4 Gentlemen Jack $5 Single Barrel $6

Daily Happy Hour • $1.00 OFF ALL DRAFTS BREAKFAST

•

LUNCH

•

DINNER

BY KATE BRADSHAW

Something for the younguns

Giving spirit rocks Paia

Saturday (Dec. 13), 6:30pm, Kihei Charter School, 300 Ohukahi Rd. #213, Kihei

Friday (Dec. 12), 6-9pm, Paia Town

Of cheese and pineapple Saturday (Dec. 13), 10pm, Charley’s, Paia Sunday (Dec.14), 10pm, Hard Rock, Lahaina What do Maui and Milwaukee have in common? Aside from the fact that they are both currently part of the United States and are both inhabited by humans, they have also both served, in part, as the stompin’ grounds for the band Hoi Polloi, which was known on Maui as The Room. Consisting originally of three brothers (Sean, Brian and Andy Carroll), and playing on Maui, The Room became Hoi Polloi with the addition of Don Wiggins and Matt Ray and a slight tweaking of their sound. I’m told these guys are pretty phenomenal live. Partial proceeds from their Hard Rock show will go toward the future Lahaina Skate Park. $10 Fri./$9 Sat.

DAY

One cool thing about living in a place like Maui is that all of the small boutique and locally crafted goods make holiday shopping a less dreadful experience. Take Paia town. It’s packed with a pretty diverse slew of independent shops and not many corporate ones of which to speak of. Then there are all the places at which one can partake in a post-shopping beer session. This Friday, as part of Paia Gives, local merchants will be keeping their doors unhinged a little late for those looking to check out what Paia has to offer. Another reason to shop Paia on Friday: participating businesses will donate a portion of the profits that come in that night to a charity of their choice. Some of the beneficiaries: Mana‘o Radio, A Keiki’s Dream, Paia Youth and Cultural Center and Haleakala Waldorf School.

Participating businesses include Ono Gelato, Indigo Paia and Biasa Rose. This is a pretty painless way to help out a few good causes while at the same time helping keep more dollars within the island’s economy rather than giving your money to some offshore corporation.

Photo by Robin Thom

I’ve heard a lot of people remark about the lack of all-ages venues on Maui, something for which we can, at least in part, thank the oh-so-adorable Liquor Commission. I mean, really, why encourage minors toward creative pursuits like music when we can enhance the county coffers by fining venues for allowing youths to glimpse drunk people?

Saturday’s all-ages show will feature two bands that, because their members are a year or two shy of 21, are barred from playing at establishments that happen to sell liquor.

Uncommonly rocking and damn solid band The Cities Love You headlines. Their sound has a rare degree of intensity as well as heaviness. A Quick Day Scout opens. Free.

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present ‘808 dopest djs’

Dj Stylz & DJ Jammin J

THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Saturday

December 13th

DR. NAT & RIO RITMO

FRIDAY December 12th

NITELIFE PRESENTS

DJ danny FRY DJ lalo GOYA DEEP SOUL ELECTRO FUNK HOUSE MUSIC Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Sunday

December 14th MANA’O RADIO PRESENTS: UPCOUNTRY SUNDAYS ACOUSTIC STYLE

Human with

Tropical Latin Dance Music

& some other humans

Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Raga Rock with Devino, Steven & Don Lopez

Samba y Salsa y Ritmo Latino

Poni Brendan SHOW at 2pm - 5PM $7 Donation

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

29

Big Shows Scottastrophe - Thu, Dec 11. Awesome.

Comedian and former Kids in the Hall gay guy Scott Thompson is coming to Maui. This one-man show, which Thompson wrote, chronicles his intimate familiarity with catastrophe. Presented by the illustrious Manhattan Mama’s Coconut Cabaret. A must. $20.

7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

John Brown’s Body - Fri, Dec 12. This show is kind of a big deal. BAMP Project presents John Brown’s Body, an award-winning eight-person electric reggae group. John Brown’s Body has performed with artists including Dave Matthews Band, Ozomatli, Broken Social Scene and Jurassic 5 in addition to their headlining tours. $23. 9 p.m. Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina. 667-7400.

Neil Sedaka - Fri, Dec 12. This songwriting Hall of Famer comes to the Valley Isle for a holiday performance. Dude is the man behind the pen on tunes like “Breaking Up Is Hard to Do” and “The Lion Sleeps Tonight.” Yeah. $25/$30/$37.50/$45.

7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Hoi Polloi - Sat., Sun., Wed., Dec 13, 14, 17. The three Carroll brothers who once constituted Mauibased reggae-rock outfit The Room return to Maui from the cheese-laden hills of Wisconsin as Hoi Polloi.

They bring a rockin’ sound that has a pretty broad appeal. Saturday they play Charley’s at 10 p.m. ($10) and Sunday they play Hard Rock at 10pm ($9 with partial proceeds benefiting Maui Skate Park. 10 p.m..

Wednesday they’re at the Cellar at 9 p.m. Sat. Charley’s, Paia; Sun. Hard Rock, Lahaina. 579-9668; 667-7400. Wed., The Cellar, 744 Front St. 661-3744.

Willie-Kalikimaka - Sat, Dec 13. Versatile Hawaiian music superstar Willie K will be delivering a Christmas concert with a unique twist. Kahaiali’i ‘ohana joins him on stage. This is one of the few places on the planet where you can view a show like this. $12/$28/$37/keiki half price.

Stage A Christmas Story - Fri-Sun. You’ve seen the flick a hundred times or more: the bb gun, the bunny pajamas, the scary Santa Claus. Check it out on stage this year for a change. This weekend is your last chance. Fri., 7:30 p.m.; Sat, 2 p.m. & 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 5p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku. 242-6969.

Calling All Readers - Mon-Fri. Want to read for Maui On Stageís Bare Essential Theater? Roles are announced at monthly readings and scripts are given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23.

Tickets on Sale Death Comedy Jam - Tue, Dec 16. Kathy Collins of Mana’o Radio fame performs a variety show she began writing after the death of her husband and

Mana’o cofounder Barry Shannon. Sense of humor required. $25. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Christmas for Rent - Daily, Dec 18. A Christmas play performed by students and directed

by Virginia Sandell. $6 adults/$4 students & seniors.

7:30 p.m. Cafeteria, St. Anthony High School 1518 Lower Main St., Wailuku. 244-4190.

Home: Inside & Out - Wed, Dec 31. Three young Hawaiian men, each from a different island, will perform a series of vignettes that deal with home, family and cultural identity. Tickets available at MACC box office, by phone and through mauiarts.org. $20/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Keali’i Reichel/Maui Pops Orchestra Sat, Jan 17. Singer/guitarist/kumu hula Keali’i Reichel joins a few members of the Maui Pops Orchestra for a show that will benefit Reichel’s Halau Ke’alaokamaile as they prepare for the Merrie Monarch competition. $12/$45/$55/$65/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Shanghai Circus - Daily, Jan 19. The acrobats, jugglers and contortionists return to Maui for a most vibrant, edge of your seat kind of show.

Tickets available at MACC box office, online at mauiarts.org or by phone. $10, $18, $23. Mon., 4 & 7 p.m.; Tue. 7 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 2427469.

Jake Shimabukuro - Sat, Jan 24. Wow. This ukulele virtuoso delivers an electrifying performance. The YouTube video featuring his cover of “While My Guitar Gently Weeps” is just the beginning. His talent and his philosophy on playing make for a most captivating show. $12/$28/$37/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Leon Fleischer - Sun, Jan 25. This pianist spent years sharpening his skills without the use of his right hand due to a neurological disorder. He later miraculously regained use of his right hand. $12/$30/$40/$45/keiki half price. 5 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Rubberdance Group - Thu, Jan 29. An intriguing blend of hip hop and ballet makes for a unique and entertaining show. Tickets available at MACC box office, by phone, or through Mauiarts.org. $12/$22/$32/keiki half price. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Ozomatli - Fri, Jan 30. This eight-piece Latin fusion group mixes it up with influences ranging from Jamaican reggae to Indian raga. Despite such astonnishing diversity the band never loses is hip shaking edge. Tickets go on sale to general public 12/12 and will be available through the MACC box office, by phone and through Mauiarts.org. $25/$30 day of show. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

EOTO JAN 8TH & 9TH

LYNK & JANOVER with locals

P.O.R.T.A.L. 30

DECEMBER 11, 2008

and

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

E.L.F.

Events THURSDAY, DEC 11 Updated Flood Maps Meeting - A chance for those living in areas vulnerable to flooding to find out their level of risk, among other vital bits of information.

3-8 p.m. Wailuku Community Center. 270-7389.

Na Kamalii Nani O Lahaina - Hula show is part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday entertainment series. 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Cinema Night - Every Thu. Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Elf. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

FRIDAY, DEC 12 Soul Package CD Release - Eclectic and ultratalented rock/soul/what-have-you outfit celebrates the release of their latest. Features Luke D. on bass, flute and vocals; Dave Bond on guitar and Larry Camit on Drums. Free. 5 p.m., 8 p.m. Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. 244-0852.

Frosty the Stickman - Performance by said performer. A holiday deal. 6-8 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali.

Paia Gives - A number of Paia merchants will be staying open late to give shoppers another opportunity to shop local. Parital proceeds from the night will go to a range of selected charities. 6-9 p.m.

Paia Town. 579-9199.

Maui Brass Ensemble - Performance is part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday entertainment series. 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Waihee Moonlight Hike - Fri. Maui Coastal Land Trust is hosting a special moonlight hike through the newly restored Waihe’e Coastal Dunes and Wetlands Refuge. Learn about the environmental and cultural significance of this area. Call for location and reservations. $25. 5:30-8 p.m. 244-5263.

Sacred Earth Bellydance - A “magical evening of poetry, music and bellydance.” Features Dreaming Bear, who just release his book “Wild Love,” spoken word poetry by Mirayah Delamar and dance performances by Sacred Earth Bellydance Troupe, Insa Inca Blue, Onya and Layla Katrina. A Benefit for Kokua and Ahimsa Arts Sanctuaries.

Vegetarian food items for sale. $20. 8:30 p.m.

Studio Maui, Haiku. 575-9390.

SATURDAY, DEC 13 Book Signing - Author Bonnie Nelson will be siging copies of her book, Cheetah Portal, which tells the story of the time she spent studying cheetahs. A Maui Humane Society event. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Maui Gateway Center, Lahaina. 2817792.

Prom Dress Drive - Is your closet packed with big, puffy formal dresses you’ll never wear again?

Well, today you can donate your lightly used prom dress and help make a young girl’s high school dreams come true. Sponsored by Becca’s Closet.

10 a.m.-2 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 264-8957.

Maui Marketplace Christmas Celebration - Begins with the long-awaited arrival of Santa Claus. Includes a keiki Christmas stocking giveaway, a chance to win a bicycle and a computer, performances by Maui Waena School Band and the Christ the King Honor Choir and an Old Navy Fashion Show. 11 a.m.-1 p.m. Maui Marketplace, Kahului. 873-0400.

Hospice Maui Holiday Sale - Come check out the goods and help out a good cause. 8 a.m.-1 p.m.

Hospice Maui, 400 Mahalani St., Wailuku. 244-5555.

Christmas Tree & Gift Sale - A chance to pick up Christmas trees, holiday wreaths, table arrangements, jams, jellies, dressings, syrups, gift baskets, crafts, baked goods and more. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 51 Calasa Rd, Kula. 269-2440.

Sugar Museum’s Kamaaina Appreciation Day - The folks at the Sugar Museum invite Maui residents to come learn more about the sugar

industry on Maui and participate in a red-dirt T-shirt drawing. 9:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Alexander & Baldwin Sugar Museum, Puunene. 871-8058.

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Santa Claus Pet Photos - Your pets have probably been asking when they can get their picture taken with Santa. Well, here is their chance. All donations given will benefit the Maui Humane Society. 1-3 p.m. Pouchi Couture, 400 Hana Highway, Unit 1, Kahului. 893 2275.

Kalama Intermediate Ukulele Band - Part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday entertainment series. 12 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Skateboarding Contest - This Maui Styli event is the last one of the year. Killer music, free food, cash prizes. Sponsored by the Maui County Department of Parks and Recreation. . 3-6 p.m.

Kihei Skate Park. 463-1160.

Dinner and a Movie Pot Luck - South Maui Sustainability invites environmentally conscious folks to bring a dish made from at least 75% local ingredients and watch the film The Power of Community: How Cuba Survived Peak Oil. 5:30-9 p.m. VFW Hall, Kihei. 874-5955.

Maui Rollergirls’ Benefit - Maui’s only rollerderby team is holding a fundraiser to help raise money that will aid in the acquisition of a venue for competitions. The Celtic Tigers will kick of the show and Order of the White Rose will play at 10. $8/$5 with an unwrapped toy, which will be given to Toys for Tots. 6 p.m. Mulligan’s on the Blue. 874-1131.

The Cities Love You/Quick Day Scout Finally, an all-ages rock show. Two good bands that, in any other place would be playing at tons of venues (but can’t play at bars here because they’re minors), finally get to showcase their tunes to a broader audience. Free. 6:30 p.m. Kihei Charter School. 875-0700.

Mele Kalikimaka Performance - A chance to celebrate the holidays Hawaii style: by the beach. 78 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali.

SUNDAY, DEC 14 New Maui Swap Meet Grand Opening Yes, it’s true. Maui Swap Meet is changing locations. Come check out its new digs. Fifty cents gets you in. 7 a.m.-1 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului. 877-3100.

Christmas Tree & Gift Sale - A chance to pick up Christmas trees, holiday wreaths, table arrangements, jams, jellies, dressings, syrups, gift baskets, crafts, baked goods and more. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 51 Calasa Rd, Kula. 269-2440.

Keiki Hula - Performs as part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday concert series. 1 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Maui Music Conservatory Perfomance - A chance to check out some of Maui’s most skilled musicians performing. 3-7 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

BrownChicken BrownCow String Band Killer West Virginia trio brings their sound to the beach.

3:30 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567.

Lahainaluna Complex Winter Concert Yay! Christmas! Free. 6-8 p.m. Lahainaluna High School, Lahaina. 662-4000.

MONDAY, DEC 15 Christmas Dance Party/Holiday Social Organized by the Maui chapter of the Hawaii Ballroom Dance Association. Refreshments provided. $35. 69:30 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 244-8263.

TUESDAY, DEC 16 Julie’s Hope Benefit - Flatbread will donate a portion of each pizza sale to the Julie’s Hope fund, which is raising funds to help Maui’s senior CSI scientist pay for her cancer treatment. 5-10 p.m.

Flatbread Pizza, Paia. 579-8989.

Maui Singles Investment Club - This event gives Maui singles a chance to mingle while learning about investments. 5:30-7 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

Thursday 12/11

Friday 12/12

Saturday 12/13

Sunday 12/14

Monday 12/15– Wednesday 12/17

DJ Blu Sol No cover, 10pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Call for details

Call for details

MON - Call for details; TUE - Kahala & Indo of LAWA; WED - Karen B

Rio Thing

Soul Package

CASANOVA

DJ Danny Fry/DJ Lalo Goya $10; 10pm

Dr Nat & Rio Ritmo $10, 10pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles & DJ Jammin J; $10, 10pm

Salsa Night

Funk Shui 9pm

DJ Blast

MON - Village Station (Alternative Night); TUE - Carroll Brothers/Hoi Polloi/Booze Brothers, 9:30pm

Bringing Sexy Back $10, 10pm

Haiku Hillbillys $10, 10pm

Hoi Polloi $10, 10pm

Orin & Junior No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CELLAR 744 744 Front St., Lahaina 661-3744

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

EHA’S POOL BAR 1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

Karaoke

1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Kanoa & Gomega 9pm

Up Next 9pm

Girly Girls Show $8, 10pm

Ultra Fab $6, 10pm

John Brown’s Body $23, 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Eric the Whale Shark No cover

Byron Brown & the Derelicts; 9pm

Pub Quiz

GIAN DON’S

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

MON - Open Mic; TUE - Kit Kat Club; WED - Joe Benedett & Sal Godinez

MON - Jordan, 10pm; TUE - Scott Baird & Merika/Dart Tournament Karaoke

Hoi Polloi $9, 9pm

MON - Marty Dread & the Kryptones, $10, $5 Kama aina MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE - Lucky Bum Girls; WED - Crunch Pups/Melani, 10pm

Dezman

Fli

Karaoke w/ Melani

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover

Ongoing Canned Food Drive - Daily. Bring non-perishables for Maui Food Bank, which is in pretty dire need this year, as you can imagine. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao. 573-6000.

Free HIV/Hepatitis C Testing and Counseling - Daily. Available from the Hawaii Dept. of Health. Free Hepatits A & B Vaccines also available. Times and locations vary around the island. 984-2129.

Holiday Gift Wrapping - Daily. Avoid papercuts and help out a good cause. Proceeds will go to Habitat for Humanity. Ask about volunteer opportunities. (Times vary.). 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Queen Kaahamanu Center. 877-3360.

Holiday Book Drive - Daily. Help Maui’s keiki discover how cool books are. Because they are. 9 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

Come Out and Play - Every Thu. Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 573-2424.

Job Club - Every Fri. Get help preparing resumes, contacting prospective employers and interviewing.

Free. 3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143.

Biofeedback - Every Fri. Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m.

Dragon’s Den. 573-2424.

Shakin’ Keiki - Every Fri. & Wed. Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Habitat for Humanity - Every Sat. Spend a few hours helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m. Call for details. 893-0334.

Hula Classes Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m.

Maui Waena School.

Hula Show - Every Sun. Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Line Dancing - Every Sun.. Practice your tush push ya’ll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall.

High Hopes Square Dance Club - Every Mon. A place for beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

Pipe Up - Every Mon. No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band.

6 p.m. Call for Direction. 876-0154.

Senior Line Dancing - Every Mon. Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m.

Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313.

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Every Tue. Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271.

Green Drinks - Third Tue. Come join Maui’s top green entrepreneurs in an open discussion of sustainability on Maui. Beer and pizza make this event even more interesting. 6:30 p.m. Flatbread Pizza, Paia. 579-8989.

Toastmasters - Every Tue. Perfect your public speaking skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa Church, Kihei, 298-3966.

Ukulele Lessons - Every Tue. Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with.

Free. 5:45 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Israeli Folk Dancing - Every Tue & Wed. The public is invited to experience the music and dance of Israel, sponsored by the Jewish Congregation of Maui. $5 suggested donation. Upcountry dance sessions take place at Grace Church in Kula Sundays from 4:30-6 p.m. 6-8 p.m. Beit Shalom Synagogue, 634 Alulike St., Kihei. 280-1051.

Soroptimists of Maui Meeting - Wed. Visitors are welcome at this meeting of business and professional women that’s dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in our community. 4:30 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 264-1775.

Ayurvedic Consultations - Every Wed. Margo P. Uma Gal, CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 572-2424.

Keiki After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sports-specific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd

MON - Karaoke; TUE - Backyard Jam; WED - Karaoke WED -Wii Wednesdays w/ DJ, 10pm

Rampage 10pm

Hula Show - Na Kamalii Nani O Lahaina performs as part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday concert series.

7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Kalama Ukulele Band Performance - An excellent opportunity to check out Hawaiian music in an open-air setting. 7 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Kit Kat Club Christmas Cabaret - A sexy and most entertaining troupe that packs its shows with dazzling choreography. This evening’s show will consist of performances by Raks Shakti Bellydance, BellyRoll Dance Company, Karen B, Lynnea Barry, Innerspatial Rachel Deboer & Isa Inca. 7:30 p.m.

Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. 244-0852.

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED -Howard Ahia, No cover

Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656.

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace, Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI - Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111.

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call.

Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center.

289-5050.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the latest in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10 a.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

Keiki Hula - Every Sat. Halau Hula O Keola Aliiokekai performs as part of Lahaina Cannery’s holiday concert series. 1 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 7-12. Taught by magician Neil Bruce. Free. 2:304 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-5313.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walkin basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center.

984-8260.

to learn creative jewelry-making techniques. The event includes all supplies, instruction and 2 bracelets per person. $30. 1:30-3:30 p.m. Ali`i Kula Lavender Farm, 1100 Waipoli Rd., Kula. 878-3004.

Dragon & Tiger Medical Chi Gung - Every Tue, Thu & Fri.. This exercise is believed to fight cancer in China. Free class sponsored by the Pacific Cancer Foundation. Tue. & Th 3-4 p.m. Maui YMCA.

EVERY TUESDAY STARTS @ 8PM

Love finds the person who is easy to find PREREGISTER to guarantee your space! Call for a reservation.$5 Application fee includes a gift bag.

Lecture Surviving Maui’s Current Economy - Mon. Free talk will focus on creative ways to weather the current economic storm. Terryl Vencl, Executive Director of Maui Visitors Bureau, will speak at this B Unlimited event. Coffee and donuts will be provided. Free. 8 a.m. Boardroom, Maui Visitors Bureau, 1727 Wili Pa Loop, Wailuku. 891-8554.

Families With Mental Illness Course - Wed. Course aims to help families of individuals with serious mental illness. Free. 5-7:30 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 572-3757.

Workshops

HAPPY HOUR REN’S SUSHI BAR SPECIALS! 333 DAIRY ROAD

Lavender Beading Workshop - Sun. A chance

871-1414

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DRINK SPECIAL

8-Midnight

DECEMBER 11, 2008

31

DA KINE CALENDAR 243-2999. Tue & Fri. 5:30-6:30 p.m. REPS Fintess Training Center, Wailea Town Center. 243-2999.

Cancer Support Group/Relaxation Classes - Fri. Kurt Miyajima will teach cancer patients, survivors, family members and caregivers relaxation and longevity breathing techniques. Free.

3-4 p.m. Maui YMCA. 243-2999.

Environment

Thursday, Dec. 11th

Monday, Dec. 15th

SALSA NIGHT

Village Station

$2 Bud Light Drafts

Shot Specials • $ 3 Cosmopolitans

Friday, Dec. 12th 9pm – 2am LOVE N’ LIGHT presents

Tuesday, Dec. 16th

LATIN DJ DANCING

FUNK SHUI

N8 • Nature Boy • Daniel J $ 2 Bud Light Drafts $ 3 Drink Specials

Alternative Night

FAT TUESDAYS $3

Wednesday, Dec. 17th

BLUES & ROCK N’ ROLL FEST

Cover Special 2 for $5 with local I.D.

Saturday, Dec. 13th

DJ BLAST $2

Drink Specials Bud Light Drafts

with Kila Kila

“Holla” Drink Specials

One Show Only starts at 9:30pm. Ladies FREE before 9pm Carroll Brothers, Hoi Polloi, & Booze Brothers Drink Specials All Night

Doors Open at 8:30pm • Reserve The Cellar for your private party or corporate holiday event. Call Keoni at 205-7811.

32

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Daily Onsite Coral Reef Naturalist Program - Mon-Fri. Learn names of fish youíve seen while snorkeling and how to protect Mauiís reefs at Pacific Whale Foundationís free Coral Reef Information Station. Sponsored by Hawaii Tourism Authority and County of Maui Office of Economic Development. . 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

808-294-8811.

Kanaha Beach Project - Every Tue & Thu. Join group leader Val Magee in removing invasive species, clearing marine debris and planting native species at Kanaha Park. Bring water, snacks and sunscreen. Wear cool clothing, a hat and good walking shoes—and bring your swimsuit if you wish for a refreshing dip afterwards! Meet at the Canoe Hale at Kanaha Beach Park in Kahului. . 8:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Kanaha Beach Park. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Meet the Aquarist Tours - Daily. Get the inside scoop on the daily lives of MOC aquarists, including turtle and shark feeding. Call to book. $10 plus park admission. 4 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea.

270-7089.

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center. 870-0052.

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

249-8811.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices.

Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Maui Coastal Land Trust Service Project Fri. The Pacific Whale Foundation’s Volunteering on Vacation program gives you a chance to help save unique ecosystems at Maui Coastal Land Trust in Waihee. Be prepared to help weed out invasive plants or help with other tasks. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts!. 7:45 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Coastal Land Trust, Waihee. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Honokawai Valley Restoration Project Sat. Come help remove invasive species while learning about some of the area’s archaeological sites. Wear close-toed boots and bring water, snacks, lunch, sun screen and bug spray. Free t0shirtGroup will meet at the Kaanapali Sugar Cane Train Station, which is on the mauka side of Puukoli Road. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Honokawai Valley. 249-8811.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

The 12 Days of Fishmas - Daily. Kicks off on with a performance from the Pohaikealoha Hula Halau Sunday at noon. Performances by Seabury Hallís 7th and 8th Grade Choir and Band, Lilikoi, Aunty Doll Aricayos and Kupuna ‘O Kihei will follow on December 15th, 20th, 21st, and 23rd respectively. Naturalists will give lectures on animals with holiday-themed names. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7000.

Volunteer on Vacation - Mon. Get to know Maui better by volunteering time to one of many important environmental projects. Meet local experts and learn about the history and environment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the Pacific Whale Foundation!. 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

Honokowai. 249-8811.

Sports/Fitness Big Brothers & Big Sisters Stasnd Up Paddleboard Event - Sat. Organizers are seeking volunteers to donate their time and gear in an effort to teach disadvantaged youth the basics of this popular sport. 8:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Launiupoko

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Beach Park. 242-9754.

Christmas Run - Sat. Runners can choose between a 5k and 10k course. 8 a.m. Kanaha Beach Park. 385-2729.

Volleyball Clinic - Sat. Hosted by Hawaiian Style Volleyball Club. A session aimed at elementary school students goes until 10 a.m., intermediate students can partake from 10:30 to 12:30 and high school instruction starts at 1 p.m. Glennie Adams Instructs. $20. Register online at hstylevbc.com. 8 a.m.-4 p.m.

King Kekaulike Gym, Makawao. 573-8710.

Billabong Pro - Daily. The deciding event in the women’s Vans Triple Crown surfing series. Call for specific times. Honolua Bay at Kapalua Resort.

665-1712.

Maui Croquet Club - Every Sun, Tue & Thu. You could be an amazing croquet player and not even know it. No mallet? No problem. 2-5 p.m.

Waipuilani Park, Kihei. 879-0087.

Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the thought of dealing with sand is just too much to bear.

Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial, Pukalani, anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W, F, S 9 a.m4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30 p.m.

These hours can change due to events. To double check you can call, 270-6135.

Group Run - Wed. Stay in shape while taking in some beautiful views! Group meets at Kihei Community Center. Open to runners of all ages and fitness levels. Refreshments will be provided after.

Sponsored by Valley Isle Road Runners. Free. 5:30 p.m. Piilani Highway and Lipoa Parkway.

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon-12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku.

984-8200.

Mahu Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Free. 1 p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei.

Art Art Reception - Sat. Three artists, a painter from Oahu, sculptor from Santa Fe and a painter from Indonesia, celebrate the opening of exhibits of their work. 6-9 p.m. Paia Contemporary Gallery. 579-8444.

“Island Essences” - Daily. The work of Mauibased oil painter Koana Smith will be featured in the Banyan Tree Gallery of Lahaina Arts Society this month. Smith is member of LAS, Hui No’eau, Plein Air Painters of Maui, and Plein Air Painters of Hawaii and paints on location throughout Maui. Her art is also on display at The Coffee Store in Napili.

Banyan Tree Gallery, Lahaina. 661-0111.

Hui Holidays - Daily. Check out what’s going on at Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center this holiday season.

Pick up some killer gifts. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Hui No`eau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. 572-6560 ext. 26.

Shoebox Sculpture Exhibit - Daily (except Mon). Artists participating in this exhibit come from all over the planet. Each confronts the challenge of making art in very limited parameters. Free. 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-7469.

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. This week’s featured artist is Ronald Macedo. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

Oil Painting Demonstration - Fri. Maui artist Jack Hamilton show how it’s done. 4-7 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, Lahaina. 667-9898.

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs Farmers’ Market and Craft Fair - Every Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat. Great deals on locally grown produce and locally made goods. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 12/11

Friday 12/12

Saturday 12/13

Sunday 12/14

Monday 12/15– Wednesday 12/17

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED - Karaoke

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans, No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine, No cover

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JACQUES

DJ CIA No cover, 9:30pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

Vince Esquire No cover

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

DJ Boomshot No cover, 10 p.m.

DJ Shaka Rock No Cover, 10pm

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke

136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LOS PELONES

Live music

Salsa Night $7, 10pm

TUE - Live music

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

Shaka Saturdays $10, 10pm

MON - Na Hoku; WED - Way Back Wednesdays, 10pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-9900

LULU’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Karaoke

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

DJ Hurricane No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall.

872-4320.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Swap Meet Farmers’ Market - Sat. As if that swap meet wasn’t enough of a draw on its own, within its gates also lies a chance to find some great deals on mega-fresh produce. Admission: 50 cents.

7 a.m.-1 p.m. Pu’unene Avenue, Kahului. 877-3100.

Poetry Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free.

6 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

ADD Twins (retro) 9pm

ADD Twins (hip hop) No cover; 9pm

An Den $3, 9:30pm

BrownChicken BrownCow String Band; 10pm

Order of the White Rose 10pm

Jamallad & Global Citizens 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hard Rock Cafe - Sun, Marty Dread, 6:30-8:30 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 570-7400.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Oversized Productions; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Santa Fe Cantina - Tue, Ryan from Silky Ringo; 4-8 p.m. Sat, Damien; 5-8 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7805.

Sea House Restaurant - Thu & Fri, Kincaid Basques; Sa,-Coelho Morrison; Su, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

MON - Dub Boyz, No cover, 10pm; TUE - Unifires, No cover, 10pm; WED - Open Mic, No cover, 10pm

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI Café Marc Aurel - Live Music on various days (check the Grid); Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m.

28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

Wowee-Maui’s Kava Bar & Grill- Th, Hawaiian Jazz & Fusion w/ Robbie Ray. 6-9 p.m. Fri, Keolu & Ekolu, Hawaiian Raggae, 6-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd,

Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844.

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2 p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 -2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music.

All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri,

BOUNTY MUSIC

SOUTH MAUI Haui’s Life’s A Beach - Thu, Erin Smith. 1913 South Kihei Rd., 891-8010.

Henry’s Bar and Grill - Gina Martinelli Jam. 6-8 p.m. 41 E. Lipoa St. Kihei. 879-2849.

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m.

3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works.

All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Gail Swanson; 68 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; 7 p.m. Tue, Randall Rospond; 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Shangri-La - Sat, Acoustic Sitar By the Sea. 6:308:30 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Road. Suite 109, Menehune Shores, Kihei, 875-4555.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Fri, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Bounty Music is proud to have guitarist Diana Arp offering private lessons. Diana Arp is a classically trained musician holding a Bachelor of Music in guitar performance. She has been teaching guitar to students of all ages and levels for over four years, and accepts students as young as eight. Though classical is her main technique, she enjoys teaching and playing all styles.

Also offering private guitar lessons is Tom Conway and Eric Dotterer.

For Ukulele: Jon Toda and Benny Uyetake.

For Bass: Marcus Johnson For Piano: Eddie Aviles, Gilbert Emata and Marti Kluth For Drums: Michael Buono and Peter Della Croce

FOR NEW STUDENTS: LESSONS BOUGHT THRU 12/31/08: BUY 3 GET 1 FREE

111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului • 871-1141 • www.ukes.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

33

LIVE DJ JAY P

BAND

Unifires starts at 10pm #

2# $3 # $3 $

Amstell Light Drafts Coors Light Bottles Well Vodka Drinks

ROCKING WITH TOP 40 MIX STARTS AT 10PM

LIVE MUSIC w/ Maui Underground on the rooftop starting at 10pm #

2 $3 $3 $

Monday, FOOTBALL ALL DAY! LIVE Entertainment after the game!

NFL games at 3:15pm on Thurs., Dec. 11th & 18th.

Also on Saturday Dec. 20th at 3:15pm

MULTIPLE LARGE FLAT SCREEN TV’s

Amstell Light Drafts

#

Coors Light Bottles

#

Well Vodka Drinks

FEATURING TWO

DJ’s MULTI-LEVELS

LIVE MUSIC STARTING ON THE ROOFTOP AT NOON & ENDING AT 10PM

DJ JAY P UNIFIRES STARTS THE STARTS AT 10PM

2 $3 $3 $

#

LIVE MUSIC

#

#

DRINK SPECIALS START AT 8AM:

Amstell Light Drafts Coors Light Bottles

#

Well Vodka Drinks

4 SPECIALS:

$

Amstell Light, 16oz. Bloody Marys, 16oz Mimosas, 16oz Screwdrivers, & Margaritas

Tues & Weds Live Music by multiple musicians from 3:30pm to 10:30pm

Sun-Weds

After 10pm Drink Specials

$3 Assorted Flavored SKYY Vodka “You Name It” $3 Amstel Lt. Draft Beer

Da House DJ

guaranteed to get “Da Boody Shaken!”

744 Front Street, 2nd Floor • Lahaina, Maui • www.LahainaStoreGrille.net 34

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 12/11

Friday 12/12

Saturday 12/13

Karaoke w/Tobi 9pm

Teomon & the Kryptones 10pm

DJ Hypnotize 10pm

744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

Unifires 10pm

DJ Jay P/Maui Underground 10pm

DJ Jay P 10pm

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Karaoke

Karaoke

Sonny B

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

OYSTER BAR 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 - 669-6286

SANTA FE CANTINA

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Seamonster

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

Kilohana 10pm

Jamallad/Global Citizen 10pm

TIFFANY’S

Karaoke

Karaoke

A&A DJ $7, 10pm

Karaoke

Robbie Ray No cover, 9-10pm

Rick Glencross No cover

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

WOW-WEE MAUI’S 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului - 871-1414

Unifires Until 10pm, No cover

DJ Nexus No cover, 10pm

TUE-WED - Live Music, No cover

MON - DJ Mike;TUE - Ryan from Silky Ringo; WED Orrin & Junior Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - Astro Boys (DJs); WED - DJ Decka; All no cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in the Water No cover, 10pm

≈MON - Karaoke, 9:30pm; TUE - New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - Off Tomorrow, No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

MON - WED - Karaoke√

Vince Esquire

Jerry Caires, Jr. $3, 10pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIP-UPS TAVERN & GRILLE

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

Monday 12/15– Wednesday 12/17 TUE - Karaoke 9pm ; WED - DJ Hypnotize

Capoeira Fundraiser $10/10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7805

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

Sunday 12/14

Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Banyan Tree Restaraunt - Wed & Thu, Ranga Pae 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031

DUH No cover, 10pm

Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

Thu, Kulewa; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Fausto and Kawaika; Sun; Kulewa; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula.

Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m.

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758

Karaoke

TUE - WED - Karaoke√

Karaoke

MON - Monday Night Football

(Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:3011:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI

■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Kate Bradshaw at calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

35

PLACING A CLASSIFIED AD IS EASY! CLASSIFIED We would like to let www.DataPositions.com (AAN LINERS know that we try to sc

our ads. We read back to ensure that it is the mation that advertis you see the acronym that ad is a national ad $ MODELS WANTED $ submitted directly to magazine print work. $250have a question dire Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 ing AAN CAN, pleas aancan.org *AWESOME CAREER** nment Postal Jobs! $17.80 to YOUR CLASSIF 0/hour Entry Level. No printed in more than ence Required/NOW HIR- tive papers like this Green Card O.K. Call 1-866- $1,200.00! To run your FROM JUST 954 ext. 93 Closed Sundays. with a total circulation million copies per w CAN) Association of Newsweeklies at 80 0 WEEKLY POTENTIAL$$$ No adult ads. (AAN CA g the Government PT. No FREEPER ANDWEEK! ANONY ence No Selling

MPLOYMENT

9

$

CLASSIFIED now hiring: BOX $$ ADS PT CASHIER for Nights and Weekends. $ Apply at 810 Haiku Rd. ANT M

CONSTRUCTION WORKERS NEEDED! • Densglas Hangers • Plasterers • Plaster Laborers

ds. ub Dr.

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Candi service t player. C packa apply:

HA • • • •

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Hanam

F L

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12

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Exotic RoomService 276-0002 “PRIVATE STOCK”

XXX Adult DVD’s 2-4-6-8 hours from $19.95

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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NOTICE: EARLY DEADLINES Due to the Christmas & New Year’s Holidays Maui Time is going to be out on Wednesday, Dec. 24th & Dec. 31st.

Deadline for 12/24 Issue = THURS., Dec. 18th Deadline for 12/31 Issue = WEDS., Dec. 24th

Sexi Mexi Hot Latina!

PLAYMATE In/Out Call 276-5240

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280-4414 Brunette Bodyworker Lots of fun!

298-8531 Sexy Carmel Petite Treat 808.250.0151 BOOK YOUR AD TODAY! Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday

Incalls/Outcalls Couples Welcome

to get your ad

808.298.7905

in Maui Time Weekly!

SCANDINAVIAN

Carmens’ Angel on Maui BODYWORK 1 or 2 Girls Den Available

250-6274

DECEMBER 11, 2008

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36

ADULT SERVICES

Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

250-6206

205-3997 PLACING AN AD IS EASY!

CALL 283-3260

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CLASSIFIED AUTOMOTIVE until 10% DISCOUNT ONDecember PARTS & LABOR 31st, 2008

LOCAL ADS

Pouchi Couture “Pamper your pouchi with style” Canine Spa Lines • Gourmet Treats Fashions • Accessories

BMW/ MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

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SERVICE PARTS ACCESSORIES FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE (#RD 3881)

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION Happy Holidays from Shaka

878-2698

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

Divers!

Dive in style with our heated wetsuits. AM, PM custom underwater tours and scuba lessons. Great prices!

808-250-1234 www.shakadivers.com It’s shakarific!

HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Fast, Affordable & Accredited FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-888DO YOU NEED MORE MONEY? 583-2101 http://www.continentalaWant more FREE time? Make thoucademy.com (AAN CAN) sands from home weekly. No Selling! No Calling! Proven, Simple, DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS Automated System. Training begins Needed! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly Immediately upon application Working from Home! Guaranteed No Experience www.237Kfromhome.com (AAN Paychecks!

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EMPLOYMENT

BUY & SELL

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HEALTH PREGNANT? CONSIDERING

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(AAN CAN) ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV

CHRISTMAS! SUNSET MERRY 6 YEARS ON MAUI! TERRACE APARTMENTS Aloha Singing Telegrams • Mr. Aloha w/ Orchid Lei • Hula Girl & Live Music

starting at

995

$

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HOUSES FOR RENT

Yokis

OHANA FOR RENT One bedroom cottage at Lahaina’s Baby Beach. $2500 plus electric, completely furnished.

Call 667-6968.

• Custom Dresses & Gowns • Custom Bridal Gowns • Lingerie • Gown Alterations

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS -

TESTING OFFERED THROUGH

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11am-2pm. Wailuku-Monday thru http://www.Roommates.com.

(AAN CAN) Tursday at Wailuku Health Center 8:30 am-12pm. Paia-Wednesdays ROOM FOR RENT at Paia Community Center $950 plus deposit, share utilities, 12:30pm-3:00pm.

Lahaina- at Lahaina Baby Beach, private Thursdays at Lahaina bath. Call 870-3401 Comprehensive Health Center VACATION 9am-12pm. Results returned in 2 RENTALS wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Health, for more info call 984-2129 Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

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Kaimana’s Beach Hale

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Continental breakfast served.

Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

REAL ESTATE

SERVICES New Activity for 6-8th Graders!

Saturday morning science and Hawaiian culture enrichment program starting in January. www.TEACHMaui.org/kids or 8794605

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

FOR SALE

DISTRESS SALE Lowest priced 2bd/1.5ba condo in Southpointe, Kihei. Bamboo floors and marble floors, Granite bathroom countertops, new designer fans and lighting. Two parking stalls. Only $191,000 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

572-5884

Maui Time Readers, By pledging to spend $100 of your shopping dollars at locallyowned stores, you will have a potential $15 million dollar impact on our community, an estimated 2 million dollars more than if it was spent at a non-local big box retailer.

YOU can help the local economy this Holiday Season.

CENTRAL MAUI CONDOS

MAKE THE PLEDGE!

Five 1 and 2 bedroom condos across the street from the blue Pacific ocean and walking distance to Maui Community College, the

Email “I PLEDGE” to pledge@mauitime.com

MACC, shopping, and restaurants.

(include your full name and phone number) and MauiTime will automatically enter you to win $1000 in gift certificates from independently owned merchants and restaurants.

Investors, these units rent for $1100 - $1250/m. Price from $75,000 to $99,000. Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

Deadline to pledge is Dec. 24th.

Winner Announced Jan. 1st

KIHEI VILLAGES Top floor 2bed/1.5ba condo with ocean views across the street from Maui’s longest beach. Stop paying rent - Invest while the market is soft. Pets allowed. Only $199,000 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All

To: Your Community From: You Thoughtfully purchased from a local, independent business or artist.

33 N. Market St., #201 • Wailuku, HI 96793

www.mauitime.com

(Estimate based on numbers from Civic Economics that 68¢ of every dollar spent at a locally owned business stays in the community, while only 43¢ stays when spent at a chain.)

Islands

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DECEMBER 11, 2008

37

Goodbye Razor, Hello Laser!

Quit paying for sessions PAY FOR RESULTS!

BEFORE

AFTER

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10

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SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) If human beings were completely rational, logical creatures, gambling wouldn’t exist. We all know that the house always wins, and that nearly everyone leaves the casino with a thinner wallet than when they entered. Yet few of us can resist the lure of beating the odds, as unlikely as it is. I get it.

Nevertheless, I urge you to steel your will and try to keep from succumbing to the sweet siren song of fickle fortune. It’s even less likely than usual to go your way, so steering as far clear as you can is just about the only thing to do.

I’ve heard red cars get pulled over more often than staid gray or beige ones. Whether or not it’s actually true, I’m inclined to believe it. The real question is whether it’s simply because fire-engine red is more eye-catching than smoke gray, or because people who buy red cars tend to speed or otherwise bend the rules more than your average Joe. If I were one of those daredevil rule-benders, though, I wouldn’t be so foolish as to drive a scarlet sports car. I’d go with a nice boring brown car—and probably get away with a lot more.

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CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) The further you run in this marathon, the more the finish line will start to matter. Quitting in the first quarter would be much easier than giving up 200 yards from the end. I suggest looking as far as you can down this long road. Right now you’re just at the beginning. It wouldn’t be so awful to simply walk away today. If you’re going to give up and go home, it’d be better to do it now than halfway to the end. These things are not always perfectly possible to predict; nevertheless I reckon you can get a pretty good idea whether or not you’ll want to stick this one out. Trust your gut; if it says you might not want to put in as much time and energy as this will take, spare yourself and get out before you put in any at all.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) As if ending up alone would be the worst scenario imaginable, I frequently see people settling for whatever partner they can get. I don’t know why a solitary life isn’t preferable to shackling yourself to some idiot you don’t even like much. What’s so great about limiting yourself to unhappy mediocrity? You of all people should avoid this scenario like the plague. If what you’re involved with isn’t fantastic (at least a goodly portion of the time), then it’s just not the right thing. I recommend ditching it, fast—the sooner you do, the sooner you can make room for something better; or discover that making your own happiness (instead of hoping it’ll come from someone else) is best of all.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Not only does lightning never strike twice, it but rarely strikes once. Thus putting too much faith in an event you can’t control or even influence seems especially foolhardy, even for someone as traditionally lucky as you. I’ve seen you pull some amazing tricks out of your hat, but this is going a bit far, don’t you think? Even you can’t pull this one off. If you really can’t give up on it just yet, at least agree to not wait for it for too long. Give yourself a hard deadline. If lightning hasn’t struck by then, move on.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Autumn came and went with a bang. To me it seemed like the trees dropped all their leaves overnight.

I shouldn’t have been surprised, It’s a season, after all, and even in the crazy, shifty climate we’ve experienced the last decade or so, seasons are still relatively predictable. Can you be more flexible and alert than I was? After all, the change that’s coming is perfectly predictable. You should be able to see it coming miles away, if you just look for it. Nevertheless, unless you’re really ready for it, it’s still quite likely to catch you by surprise. Brace yourself. Here it comes.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Over a relatively short time, a reasonably-priced washing machine will pay for itself. However, visits to the Laundromat only require a small outlay of pocket change, whereas purchasing a major home appliance will put a serious dent in your wallet. Ironically, the less you could afford a washing machine, the smarter it would be to buy one, since it would ultimately save you money. This is the kind of quandary you’re likely to have to solve soon. Which will you choose? Figuring out a way to manifest the wise, longterm solution, even if it requires great ingenuity and resourcefulness, or simply settling for the easy but somewhat foolish short-term one, yet again?

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Knock your local bully down to size. She’s just a big fish in a little pond. Try to remember that, the next time she attempts to intimidate you. Outside of this context, there are many situations where she’d be as helpless as a tadpole squaring off against a shark. Even if you don’t feel like playing that shark, you can still keep yourself from being pushed around too much. Perhaps you can unlock the floodgates that connect this pond to the open ocean. Surely someone else will swim in and take her down a peg or two.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Some faiths and traditions consider it bad luck to buy anything for a baby until it’s born. Historically, in some places and times infants were so fragile that they didn’t even get names until a year or two after their birth, when their parents could have more confidence that they might survive. Similarly, I wouldn’t invest too much emotion in your fledgling newborn until it’s got enough wherewithal to stand on its own two feet and claim a life of its own. Don’t give it a name, don’t get too attached, and don’t cry if it doesn’t make it. It’s not a baby, after all, just an idea—and there are plenty more where those came from.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Beauty fades, more quickly than should be possible. Feel sorry for those who have little else. You know who I’m talking about; they were the lameass cheerleader and jock types back in high school. That was their peak; shortly thereafter their youthful good looks and athleticism faded and their lives settled into mediocrity. You encounter more like them throughout life. Don’t waste energy envying them or wishing them ill. They are what they are. Eventually, their genes won’t carry them anywhere special, and they’ll have to learn, just like you did, some other way to navigate through life. That’s no easy task, and some of them won’t manage it well at all. In other words, practice compassion, not contempt, for the pretty people you encounter this week.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) It’d be nice if you could use every minute of the day to accomplish something useful, but alas there are times when circumstances forbid you from being nearly as efficient or effective as you could be. I know how frustrating this is for you, especially considering how much productivity you can cram into your average minute, when not so restricted. Hopefully this won’t head towards the extreme where you are simply counting the seconds until you can get on to something else, but it might. I wish I could offer more than my sympathy, but there’s not much else to say. Count the seconds if you must. They will pass—eventually.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Repeating your joke because you didn’t get a laugh the first time is not likely to get the response you’d hoped for. Beating this dead horse won’t make it rise up and run again. I thought you’d decided to let things go more easily than this, especially when logic and experience dictate that they aren’t likely to change no matter what you do. I believe you’ve mostly learned that lesson. Let’s just call this a momentary lapse. Walk away from the ended equine, quickly, without looking back, and we’ll both agree to forget this ever happened.

38

DECEMBER 11, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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