12.08 Maui Votes 2008, August 14, 2008, Volume 12, Issue 8, MauiTime

I AUGUST 14, 2008

I VOLUME 12

I ISSUE 08

I MAUITIME.COM

I FREE EVERY THURSDAY

Also inside: Letters | Spanks a lot pg. 4 Eh Brah! | Cart thief pg. 8 Ono Kine Grinds | Gas station grub pg. 14

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Rob’s recent reef report gets a response in Letters. Costco carts get swiped in Eh Brah!

Rob Report logs another entry on development and praises local grassrooters. LC Watch finds out where the fines go. CEOs get big bonuses and send dirty e-mails in The Business End. Coconut Wireless mulls a message from the KKK. Spoiler alert: weird stuff happens in News of the Weird.

11 FEATURE STORY

BOYCOT T SEAFOOD FROM CANADA!

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 08

On The UPside

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CONTENTS

ST O P T H E S L A U G H T E R O F 3 5 0 , 0 0 0 B A B Y H A R P S E A L S I N C A N A D A !

Beautiful Hair...

Beautiful Skin... at

Beauty Bar

We launch our Maui Votes ‘08 Primary Primer series with profiles of nine candidates in four state and county races.

14 ONO KINE GRINDS THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What three words, not counting “white” or “cold,” best describe your refrigerator?

Editor: Jacob Shafer

Jacob samples the food at the Wailuku Chevron and likes it, but wonders why he didn’t give himself the Banyan Tree assignment from last week instead.

Maui’s Exclusiv e Salon

What’s, that, smell Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw Saucy, tanked, neglected

17 DA KINE CALENDAR

Illustration: Ron Pitts

Kate and Ynez run through a PETA shindig, a play about space aliens, a Sustainable Living Expo a Cameron Center Bazaar and a radio benefit in Picks.

Photography: Sean Michael Hower

23 Grid & Calendar

Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Starr Begley, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ynez Tongson

Art Director: Brittany Shaw Empty, warm, ancient Graphic Designer: Travis Keenan Tiffin Boring, bland, bare Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Super, dee, luxe

20 FILM Cole Smithey drops love bombs on the boundary-pushing comedy Tropic Thunder, starring Ben Stiller, Jack Black and Robert Downey Jr. in blackface.

General Manager: Jennifer Russo Moldy, brimming, decadent

21 Movie Listings

Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Runnning, clean, full Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com Publisher: Tommy Russo Full, of, food

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com

22 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT 311 and Battle of the Bands winner Erin Smith join forces for a show in Lahaina on Admission Day and Ynez is in a state of bliss.

29 BACK PAGES Sign Language has news for you, Virgo.

Restless Native is, well, restless.

CLASSIFIEDS 27 Adult listings 28 Classified Listings 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

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LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR

The New xD Release the Deviant

Artwork courtesy of Deybra Fair 2008

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EMCEE’D BY AUGIE T

I was very disappointed by the recent Rob Report and its accusations of the unregulated aquarium trade plundering Hawaii’s reefs [“Reef madness,” July 24]. The two collectors here on Maui are thoughtful marine resource users like anyone else and their practices are ecologically sound. To suggest they are plundering the reef, which implies they are stealing, is completely inappropriate. Rob’s report offered no commentary from the collectors themselves who have consistently said that sound regulation of the fishery is essential for its wellbeing. Almost all of the testimony for SB3225 from collectors statewide echoed this sentiment.

There are about 250,000 recreational and commercial fisherman and less than 150 aquarium collectors. A representative from the DAR referred to the aquarium industry as a “pinprick” compared to the problems from all the other impacts on the reef. The problem is that this just isn’t about the reef, it’s also about the keeping of wild animals in captivity. While I have tremendous respect for the Humane Society and the work they do, their position is about establishing overly cautious public policy, not about whether given the right circumstances the fish may do well in captivity. It’s like asking NIDA for positive commentary on medicinal marijuana. I was surprised that Mr. Parsons didn’t make the connection between his report and the article on the overfishing of predators by Jessica Armstrong. The two are tightly interrelated. Mr. Parsons testified at the Gov. Advisory Council right after I did, and that is exactly one of the points I made so he was aware of the connection. I sympathize with Director Thielen’s comments that enforcement of regulations is always “the” challenge and I have a suggestion: Other states empower law enforcement officers to enforce environmental regulations, perhaps we could look into doing the same.

Darrel R Smith, Kihei

large profit luxury homes for shortterm jobs, at the expense of long-term interests such as clean accessible beaches and valuable agriculture land? What is needed to be considered is more not less farms and more walkable communities like Lahaina, Paia, even Kihei.

Enough drive-through bedroom communities. Must we continue to sacrifice the beauty, vitality and life-giving forces of our island to clear the way for more Wailea, more development in Honolua? Let’s go forth with some choices that preserve, not surrender, what we have left.

Dot Buck, Pukalani

SPANKS A LOT Re: Starr Begley’s recent column on spanking [“Worst mom ever,” Aug. 7]: I couldn’t agree more! Allowing a child to be out of control, to behave in any way the child chooses, to grow up to believe that words and actions don’t have consequences, that’s abuse, that’s neglect. Some short-term discomfort can save a lifetime of unhappiness. At 60, as an aging hippie, I find myself agreeing with Starr!

Mark Haynes, submitted online at mauitime.com

INK ABOUT IT Hey, I liked your tattoo story [“’Ink’ing it over,” August 7] but did you really make that guy get the title tatted on his back?!? If so, that’s one dedicated model!

Ben Thames, Kihei Ed. Note: No, our model wasn’t that dedicated; the “tattoo” was actually drawn on with a Sharpie. But I’m sure Circle at Evolved Art, who applied it, and our production team, who added some finishing touches, will be happy to hear the illusion worked.

Maui Time welcomes letters com-

menting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond.

We also reserve the right to edit your

VOTE HOPE

letters. Send your letters to the editor

Aloha, its election time again! And for me it is time to pick candidates with the awareness to see the shifting paradigm of changes here on Maui. Who is really for sustainability, or the hope of self-sufficiency?

Who is ready to give up the big trucks, big construction and business-as-usual program that builds

via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Presto change-o zoning

Show us the money

Grassroots groups wrestle the status quo and land use in flux ear by year, Maui’s political leaders seem to christen a favorite cause celebre—be it traffic, smart growth, water, affordable housing, agricultural zoning or the latest buzzword, sustainability—then proceed to talk circles around the topic. Baby steps are taken, compromises are eked out, and over weeks and months, the community’s verve for addressing the topic at hand wanes to boredom at having heard the issue kicked around ad nauseam. In the labyrinthine bureaucracy of county government, seldom are even the most compelling issues solved satisfactorily or quickly.

Such is island politics.

And, year by year, disenchantment with the political status quo gives rise to grassroots community efforts to accomplish what government cannot or will not.

In recent years, citizens have rallied to create Maui Tomorrow, the Valley Isle Voters Alliance (VIVA), the Maui Clean Air Coalition, the `Ohana Coalition, Save Honolua Coalition, Save Makena, Maui Unite, Pump Don’t Dump and a plethora of community associations. Through such collaborative efforts, many combined voices have come forward to advocate for positive change, while also sometimes throwing a monkey wrench in a land owner’s or developer’s dreams of big profits.

A couple of these citizens’ groups were in the news last week, while a new “green group” had a coming out party. The South Maui Sustainability group hosted a standing-room only crowd at the Kalama Retirement Center’s Garden Room—an appropriate locale for featured speakers on growing more local food, as well as incorporating locally renewable power.

One night earlier, members of Save Honolua Coalition, Honolua Advisory Council, the County administration and Maui Land & Pineapple met to announce a compromise forged to address community opposition to proposed development on and around Lipoa Point and Honolua Bay. ML&P proposed to withdraw development plans for 40 luxury homes and a golf course at Lipoa Point, aspiring to set up a Lipoa Land Trust, while designating significant additional acreage for a conservation easement to supplement their Puu Kukui Preserve.

In return, they hoped to gain approval to use 630 residential units at Kapalua, or two-thirds of the overall build out, for short-term vacation rentals, while also allowing a zoning change to accommodate a 60-room “boutique” hotel, and acquiring park credits valued at over $32 million.

Y

“Conceptually, the administration is in support of the proposal,” according to Mayor Charmaine Tavares’ Public Information Officer, Mahina Martin, in a Maui News article reporting on last week’s meeting. That statement must have been disconcerting to many readers, given the stance taken by the County administration to shut down unpermitted transient vacation rentals in residential districts.

It also represents a dramatic shift in the conceptual plans for Kapalua Mauka. When the County Council passed approval for Project District zonng in February, 2006, it stipulated 690 residences with an adjacent golf course and that there be no hotel or rental units. 172 affordable rental units required by the Workforce Housing Ordinance (40 percent of total number of units) were to be developed at another location, possibly ML&P’s yet to be approved Pulelehua Village near the West Maui airport at Mahinahina.

To further muddy the waters, many of those affordable units were conceived to be employee housing, with a waiting list taken for reservations, and with employees testifying in favor of approving the Pulelehua development. All this was before last month’s sudden layoff of 274 ML&P employees, representing a quarter of their workforce.

Another Project District that could undergo a complete makeover is Ma`alaea Mauka.

Originally awarded land use designation in the Kihei-Makena Community Plan revision in 1998, the 260-acre ag parcel was to be developed with up to 1,150 units. The parcel, across the highway from Ma`alaea Harbor, was one of many sold by Wailuku Agribusiness in their disposition of holdings, begun in 2001, as a strategic liquidation of their entire 20,000 acres of former Wailuku Sugar lands.

Ma`alaea Mauka LLC, an investment hui which bought the project site and other ag lands totaling 1,925 acres, described their intentions in a 2006 introductory newsletter.

They said that Ma`alaea Mauka is, “envisioned as an open-space 949-unit residential housing development,” though they didn’t elaborate on where the open space might fit, at a density of 3.65 units per acre. “An environmental impact statement was prepared,” the newsletter continues, “without revealing causes for concern.”

But the proposal was met with criticism from former Mayor Alan Arakawa, who said they should wait until the General Plan revision is complete, and from the nearby Ma`alaea Community Association, which passed a resolution against the project in November 2006. The project’s EIS was finally released in December 2007.

Fast forward to two weeks ago, when a Maui News article announced that developer

LC Watch

Jesse Spencer was in the process of buying the 260 acres from Mike Atherton, on of the principle owners of Ma`alaea Properties LLC. Spencer recently finished the Waikapu Gardens 412-unit subdivision, which survived the 201-G state “fast track” process for permitting of affordable housing projects.

Similar efforts to gain County and State approvals over a 45-day time limit failed to gain approvals when the Pu`unoa proposal on Lahaina lands across from Puamana, and the Sterling Kim Waiehu project met with widespread community opposition, despite the urgent need for affordable homes.

Spencer said he’d aim for 60 to 70 percent of “about a thousand” houses to meet the new affordability criteria of the revised 201-H statute, though a master plan hasn’t yet been drawn up and the land sale isn’t even final.

Spencer said he expects the project to be opposed, the Maui News article stated, but expects the County Council to be sympathetic. “I don’t see how they can not approve it,” he said, “after they approved [Wailea] 670.”

But wait a moment, Jesse. Wailea 670 was passed by a slim 5-4 vote after many months of deliberation, only to have the approval halted by a court challenge. Maybe you checked the pulse of some key Council members on this before you made your offer to buy the fallow ag acreage. But, should the fact we’re in crisis mode with a lack of affordable housing mean we throw otherwise valid planning criteria out the window?

Yes, the fast tracking of approvals for housing at the Ma`alaea Mauka project site will be lauded by some and opposed by others. In fact, Planning Director Jeff Hunt approved a land-use recommendation map that places the project outside of urban growth boundaries. Hunt’s reasons were the project’s distance from available infrastructure and the desire to keep a green belt of open space from

Last week, we got a letter from reader Marc Gaskins (see, if you write good letters you might get mentioned in LC Watch, so get typing) asking a pertinent question: Where do all the fines assessed by the Adjudication Board go? Every week we tell you about another business getting slapped with a $2,000 penalty.

What becomes of all that dough?

see ARAKAWA, page 11

But Silva, pictured below, assured us that’s all the money’s used for.

“We don’t get to have it,” he said.

For the answer, we called Liquor Commission Director Frank Silva. Silva said the money is placed in an account earmarked for educational outreach and training of licensees. As proof, he pointed to state statute §281-17 (3), which states that “any educational program shall be limited to licensees and their employees and shall be financed through the money collected from the assessment of fines against licensees.”

In other words, as much as we like Mr. Gaskins’s suggestion that LC fines go to Maui’s cash-strapped schools—teaching kids the three Rs instead of teaching club owners how to keep people from dancing—state law expressly forbids such an act of intra-governmental altruism.

Now, as to whether the LC does or could pocket some of the penalty cash for its own internal needs: Re-read the statute carefully and you’ll see it only specifies educational programs must be paid for with money collected from fines, not that money collected from fines can’t also be put toward other things.

—Jacob Shafer

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

5

ROBREPORT ZONING: continued from page 5 development already sprawling from Kahului through Wailuku and Maui Lani to Waikapu.

Rob Riebling, a former head of the Ma`alaea Community Association chimed in with another major concern: traffic, the same issue that helped lead to

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

the demise of the Pu`unoa proposal a few years ago. There will likely be debate as well over allocation of fresh water resources, and re-designating ag land for urban uses, when many are calling to grow more of our own food.

It is ironic that Spencer’s Wailuku Gardens project was built not far from where the Maui County Smart Growth Conference was held in

2001, at the Grand Waikapu Golf Course Clubhouse, a Frank Lloyd Wright design once commissioned as a home for Marilyn Monroe. While Waikapu Gardens was affordable, it’s hard to imagine it being called a model community.

Viewed from the air, or the top floors of the County building, it looks like what it is, tract housing. It’s the same kind of housing devel-

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

opment that inspired the 1960s folk song that began, “Little boxes on the hillside, little boxes made of ticky-tacky, little boxes on the hillside…and they all look just the same.” In short, other than its views of Haleakala over the neighbors’ roofs, Waikapu Gardens is lacking in a sense of place that would distinguish these Maui homes from another subdivision built anywhere on the Mainland.

With groups such as South Maui Sustainability calling to grow local food, contrasted with mass layoffs of ML&P field workers, there will likely be debate over Jesse Spencer’s latest plans. The location is also one of the windiest spots on the island, and downwind from a construction materials dump, Maui Electric’s diesel boilers and the Monsanto seed corn fields.

Faced with the distressing downturn in the economy, there likely will be many who suggest we build our way out of it, with more housing units to provide real estate inventory, timeshares, capital improvement projects and construction jobs of any kind. But this merely props up the precarious economic house of cards, top heavy with our tourist and real estate/construction dollars, at the expense of local sustainability.

It is likely that the usual paradigm of the rich and powerful landowners and developers influencing our political leaders will continue to fall short of addressing many compelling community needs. Grassroots citizen group efforts will just as likely continue to stir the pot and call for better solutions.

The emergence of the South Maui Sustainability group is especially encouraging, as they are addressing a model of local self-sufficiency on a community basis, without calling for government action or involvement—at least, not yet. Their efforts may well produce a myriad of akamai solutions that many others, even corporate landowners and experienced developers, might be wise to take to heart in these uncertain, changing times. MTW

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COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

THURSDAY, AUGUST 7 Sorry, still getting the taste of that e-mail out of my mouth.

FRIDAY, AUGUST 8

WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 6 Question of the day: How did I get on the Ku Klux Klan’s mailing list? And, followup question of the day: Do those assholes still even exist? I ask because when I checked my e-mail this morning there was a message waiting for me titled “KKK Press Release.” My initial impulse that this was surely a bit of purulent spam was overwhelmed by my morbid curiosity, and so I clicked. Turns out the thing was legit, if that’s the right word. Sent by Ku Klux Klan National Membership Coordinator (how’s that for a line on your resume?) Rachael Pendergraft, the missive informed me that the Klan (which is now calling itself the Knights Party) has invited Senators McCain and Obama to speak at the group’s annual “leadership conference,” set to take place at the end of August. Says the release: “While the invitation is sincere and an acceptance by the candidates would be welcome, Pastor Robb [referring to KKK National

Obama touched down on Oahu earlier today and delivered a quick address (which, based on the transcript, had kind of a paintby-the-numbers, scribbled-on-the-back-ofan-airplane-napkin feel) to a few thousand supporters before heading off for some R&R with his family. One would assume that, mixed in with the golf and sunbathing, he’ll be mulling VP picks and tweaking his acceptance speech for the upcoming convention in Denver. A quick word of advice, Barack: If anyone asks you for your take on TVRs, don’t answer… In other news: On the opposite end of the commander-in-chief hopeful spectrum, there’s John Edwards. Oh, John. What the fuck were you thinking, man? That you could run for president in 2008 and not have it come out that you cheated on your cancerbattling wife with some chick you picked up in a bar? People crawled up Obama’s ass because of some stuff the guy at his church said. Just imagine if Edwards had won the nomination with this sordid skeleton waiting to leap out of his closet. I’m sure DNC honchos are envisioning that very scenario and the various ways they would have strung Edwards up by his adulterous gonads.

Bottom line: I think it’s safe to say Johnny Boy’s political career is dead and buried.

SATURDAY, AUGUST 9 OK, the coverage of Obama’s Oahu stay is officially getting creepy. Here’s an excerpt from an Associated Press story that ran in The Maui News: “Obama hit the beach about 7:10 a.m. with about six to eight security agents.

He initially wore running shoes but sat down, took them off, and carried them as he walked and ran near the home that his family is staying at.” OK, first off, about 7:10am? How much more exact do you need to get? “Obama hit the beach at exactly 7:08am and 53.47 seconds, wearing a pair of slightly wrinkled khaki shorts RIP Isaac with a small stain near the right knee and a white sweater of undetermined brand with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

He then proceeded to pick up a rock and toss it into the water in what may or may not have been an attempt to skip said rock. After rubbing a small amount of Coppertone sun block on his nose and forearms, the presumptive Democratic nominee reached down and scratched his left calf, presumably because it itched, though that could not be confirmed at press time.” Look, the guy’s got charisma, and the fact that someone with a good shot at becoming leader of the free world is bothering to visit Hawaii and its four electoral votes so close to the election is big news. But this borderline stalker reporting doesn’t reflect well on anyone.

SUNDAY, AUGUST 10 Question of the day: When President Bush was first told by his handlers that Russia was dropping bombs on Georgia, how long did it take him to realize they meant the country and not the state? And, follow-up question of the day: Before that conversation, did Dubya even realize Georgia was a country?

MONDAY, AUGUST 11 RIP Isaac Hayes, who died yesterday at age 65. For those unfamiliar with his body of work, Hayes lent his silky baritone to, among many other things, the iconic Shaft theme and South Park’s Chef (“Hello, children…”). In

Hayes - silky baritone, bad mother.

the interest of not speaking ill of the dead, I’m going to forget that Hayes got conned by the Scientologists and as a result left the aforementioned Comedy Central cartoon because of an episode that made fun of Tom Cruise (before that became a national pastime).

Instead, I’m just going to remember him as the bad mother who won’t cop out when there’s danger all about…

TUESDAY, AUGUST 12 OK, I’ve gotten a couple e-mails about this, so let me say on the record: I haven’t been here long enough to form a strong opinion about chicken fighting. I’ve seen the bumper stickers, I’ve heard the arguments pro and con and I remain on the fence. On the one hand, I get that it looks a lot like animal cruelty, and, as with horse racing, there’s no way the “athletes” can give consent, which is a problem. On the other hand, we cram these creatures into tiny cages, cut their heads off and mash them into McNuggets—is forcing them to peck each other for sport really all that much worse?

What I do have an opinion about is the name…it just doesn’t sound tough enough.

In other parts of the world where this stuff goes on it’s called cock fighting, which is far more manly and intimidating. I think what the chicken fighters need is a good PR person…hey, I wonder if Rachael Pendergraft is looking for some work on the side. MTW

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Director Thomas Robb] is confident that both candidates are more interested in pandering to ethnic minorities than addressing the issues of concern to White Christians.”

Huh. That’s one possible explanation.

Another would be that speaking in front of a bunch of ass backward bigots who are delusional enough to believe the concerns of white Christians aren’t being adequately addressed in this country would be political suicide. I’m not going to reprint the Klan’s URL here, nor am I going to encourage you to visit their site and lend even a shred of credibility to their hateful bullshit. But if anybody out there seriously believes that racism isn’t an issue anymore, maybe it’s worth a quick peek. Just make sure you’ve got a barf bag handy.

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AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com This goes out to the two (!) different people who stole my cart at Costco while I was off looking for stuff. It’d actually be kind of amazing that two other people wanted the exact same items as me if it wasn’t so damn aggravating to have to go back and pick them all out again. I mean come on, is it really that hard to get your own cart, walk around and pick shit out? Are we heading toward total anarchy here, where all the unwritten rules of common courtesy go out the window and unless something is being enforced by men in uniform people don’t feel the need to obey and respect others? Anyway, I hope whoever ended up with my stuff likes their mixed nuts and rum and spam and big bag of toilet paper. To think, someone else is wiping their ass with my TP!

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD MONK BAND Brother Cesare Bonizzi, 62, of a Capuchin Friars monastery near Milan, Italy, is the lead singer in a heavy-metal band that recently released its second album, Misteri (“Mysteries”), following a successful performance at Italy’s “Gods of Metal” festival (headlined by Iron Maiden and, ironically, Judas Priest). On stage, the white-flowing-bearded Brother Cesare booms out gritty but non-proselytizing lyrics while wearing his traditional brown robe. He told BBC News in July that his superiors have never interfered with his sideline and that he plans to send a copy of the new album to the pope. “He’s a music lover, and metal is music.”

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

donors’ names and addresses, for further solicitation). Philanthropy watchdogs say fundraisers should never keep more than 35 cents on the dollar, but the Times found the overall average was 54 cents, and for missing-children charities, fundraisers kept 86 cents. (Fundraisers for an organization called Citizens Against Government Waste kept 94 cents.)

A STEP IN TIME A 10-year-old British boy had such a severe obsessive-compulsive disorder that he was overwrought with guilt that he had caused the Sept. 11 World Trade Center attacks, in that he had not been able that day to make his ritual step upon a particular mark in the street. Writing in June in the journal Neurocase, psychologists at

University College London said the boy recovered only when they convinced him that the attacks had already started by the time he would have made his usual step.

AMERICAN INK Sam Bloomfield, 58, grew up poor on Tonga but arrived here in 1976 and says he has tried to show his gratitude ever since, according to a July 4 profile in his hometown Herald of Everett, Wash. He has tattooed “God Bless America” under his left eye, “Land of the Free” under his right eye and a large “USA” across his forehead, and last year underwent another 15 painful hours with the needle to cover the rest of his face with stars and stripes resembling an American flag so that he can

toast his beloved country in the mirror every morning.

CATCH AND RELEASE In July, convicted drug dealer Marcus Anderson opened the door of the Corrections Department van taking him to court, climbed out and walked away into downtown Baltimore. It was an ordinary van without a prisoner cage and whose driver had no gun, handcuffs, phone or radio (because Anderson had arrived late at the pick-up point for the regular prisoner van). An exasperated Judge Charles Bernstein later asked whether the driver had given him bus tokens, too. “If I were a young enterprising criminal,” said the judge, “I’d come to Baltimore to set up my practice. This is the place to be. This is the Promised Land.’ MTW

SCHOOL’S IN High Point University (just south of Greensboro, N.C.) is not quite Club Med (“Club Ed,” it was called by the Chronicle of Higher Education) but provides free ice cream for students, a hot tub in the middle of campus, wake-up calls and a concierge service, all run by a campus “director of WOW,” whose job it is to thrill the “clients” and attract new ones. This is the strategy of President Nido Qubein, a motivational speaker and “customer comes first” businessman, and so far, enrollment is way up (even at higher tuition), new construction is transforming the campus, and $100 million is in the bank.

STIMULATE THIS The U.S. government’s $100 billion stimulus distributed to taxpayers this spring achieved mixed results, according to economists, but at least the Internet pornography industry flourished (according to a July trade association spokesman).

Adult Internet Market Research Co. reported that “20 to 30 percent” of “adult” Web sites reported that sales rose during the time checks were being issued.

However, Nevada brothels were suffering, even though Hof’s Bunny Ranch ran a stimulus-check special: Hand over your $600 check and get the usual $1,200 “party” (“three girls and a bottle of champagne”).

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YOU GIVETH, THEY TAKETH A July Los Angeles Times investigation revealed that professional fundraisers keep so much of the money donated to charity by conscientious, generous-minded people that 430 different California charities over the last 10 years got not one penny of the contributions. In fact, in 337 cases, the charity paid an additional fee on top of getting nothing back (but did come away with the

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

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It was a tough week for CEOs (and maybe even more so for their PR people). First, there was the news that ML&P honcho David Cole was given $4.1 million in bonuses just months before his company fired 274 employees. A few days later, the United Airlines pilots union called for the head of Chief Executive Glenn Tilton. In a statement reported in Pacific Business News, union Chairman Steve Wallach charged Tilton with having a “proven record of incompetence” and turning the airline into “a shell of its former self.” The union has even created a Web site detailing Tilton’s alleged failures (www.glenntilton.com). Calls to Tilton soliciting a rebuttal were not returned, but we’ll allow it’s possible some of the critiques lodged against him are unfair or at least slightly exaggerated. But Glenn, buddy…when your employees have staked out a piece of cyber real estate dedicated wholly to hating you, it’s probably time to move on. And finally, there’s Hawaii Tourism Authority CEO Rex Johnson, who’s catching heat for sending some adult material over the company e-mail. Pretty minor stuff compared to the infractions of his peers, but still—you’re a wealthy man, Rex, presumably with a very nice home computer fully capable of forwarding naughty messages. If nothing else, you should be reprimanded for stupidity.

The skies are getting slightly friendlier: Hawaiian Airlines enjoyed an 11 percent passenger bump in the month of July, as reported in PBN. About 72,000 more riders boarded the company’s planes last month than did in July 2007. The news, while good for Hawaiian Airlines— which saw its stock rise 5.1 percent—doesn’t necessarily spell relief for the state’s sluggish tourism industry; the increase was due mostly to an uptick in inter-island travel. Still, after those doomsday June figures we reported on last week, decent news sounds a lot like great news.

Photo by: Ack Ook

As any economist will tell you after a couple drinks, you can make numbers say pretty much whatever you want. Take the July figures recently released by the Realtors Association of Maui. On the one hand, they show that sales of single-family homes in the county rose about 12 percent over the same time last year. On the other hand, the price of a single-family home dropped almost 10 percent while condo sales plummeted.

Bigger picture, even with the July upswing, single-family home sales in the county are down over 20 percent for the year. Man, forget the economists—we need a couple drinks.

PBN reports that grocery goliath Whole Foods, which has plans to open four new stores in Hawaii, saw profits plummet 30 percent in its fiscal third quarter. The company blamed the dip on RFCSE (Rising Fuel Costs and the Sagging Economy for those who don’t remember the awkward acronym we coined last week) and costs associated with its acquisition of rival Wild Oats Market. Ah, corporate takeovers…such messy affairs. MTW

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AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Primary importance...

Senate 5th District (West Maui-South Maui):

First, let’s get the obvious question out of the way: What the hell are we doing putting out an election issue in the middle of August? The Obama-McCain showdown doesn’t happen until November, right? But here’s the thing: The county and state officials you choose in the September 20 primary (and subsequent November general election) are going to have a far greater impact on your day-to-day life than the person who ultimately wins the White House.

It’s those local public servants, not some suit in Washington, who make the decisions about the policies, priorities and infrastructure that make Maui tick. If you don’t care, you should.

With that in mind, we present the first in our series of Primary Primers. We sent out questionnaires to candidates running for County Council and the state legislature and used their responses to create introductory blurbs, giving you a quick look at who they are and what they care about. This week, we profile nine candidates in four races; you’ll meet the rest in subsequent issues.

The goal here is to inform; more depth and opinion will come later. For now, consider this a grip and grin with the folks who want to earn your trust—and your vote.

(Incumbent) NAME: Roz Baker AGE: 61 YEARS ON MAUI: 28 CURRENT PROFESSION: State Senator EXPERIENCE: Education lobbyist, business owner, consultant, legislative aide PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Obama KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: TRAFFIC Advocates completion of four key projects: Lahaina Bypass and Honoapiilani Hwy. widening for West Maui and the North-South collector road and upcountry highway for South Maui; supports preservation of corridors for rapid transit systems “when our population warrants that service”; calls on the Governor to declare West Maui a traffic emergency zone…

HEALTHCARE “Improved access starts with adequate personnel.” Wants to facilitate the training of more local doctors and to create incentives to draw physicians and specialists to the island KEY MAUI ISSUES: ENERGY “I want us to continue to push the envelope to expand our energy portfolio to grow sustainable energy crops and further develop our wind, wave and photovoltaic resources.”… ECONOMY Calls for more public works projects to create jobs and for a diversification of industry: “Perhaps we can use this economic slowdown as a way for the community to come together to take stock of its assets and liabilities, its strengths and weaknesses.”

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

11

Senate 5th District cont.

STATE LEGISLATURE

(West Maui-South Maui): (Challenger) NAME: Jan Shields (R) AGE: 54 YEARS ON MAUI: 8 CURRENT PROFESSION: Business owner EXPERIENCE: Nurse, inventor, lobbyist PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Decline to state KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: EDUCATION Calls for construction of a new high school in Kihei, supports increased funding for charter schools… TRAFFIC “In West Maui, we need the Lahaina bypass to be started. We have waited much too long for this project.

We also need to come up with a plan to increase the traffic carrying capacity of the Pali.”

KEY MAUI ISSUES: EDUCATION Advocates higher salaries for teachers and the creation of local school boards: “We are top heavy on administration and therefore not enough money is getting into the classrooms.”... HEALTHCARE Calls for the privatization of public hospitals, would push to abolish the Certificate of Need (CON) process: “Hospitals are businesses. The government hospital system is going to bankrupt the state if we do not take action now.”

Senate 6th District

AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

“Some people feel that you need to have lived here a long time to see the problems and know what to do about them. I disagree. Sometimes when someone looks at an old problem with fresh eyes, they bring new and different solutions.”

–Jan Shields

(Upcountry, East Maui, Molokai, Lanai):

(Incumbent) NAME: J. Kalani English (D) AGE: 42 YEARS ON MAUI: 42 CURRENT PROFESSION: State Senator EXPERIENCE: UN Diplomat, Maui County Councilmember PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Obama KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: TRANSPORTATION Advocates widespread infrastructure renewal for roads, piers and harbors: “The sheer vastness of the district exemplifies the need for a sound, multi-modal transportation system.” …

FOOD SECURITY Encourages residents to grow their own food, calls for increased support of local farmers: “While we have great abundance in our islands, we also import more than 90 percent of our food. Thus, if there were an interruption of our transportation system for more than a few days, we would quite literally be out of food.”

KEY MAUI ISSUES: ECONOMY Calls for a complete reexamination of the island’s economic base: “We must address the question of whether our state’s reliance on the visitor industry will be healthy for the future.”… ENERGY “As the most petroleum-dependent state in the nation, we need to develop a plan for our energy future. We are fortunate to possess the natural resources that could serve as a foundation for alternative energy production including wind, solar, ocean thermal and wave kinetic generation systems.”

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(Challenger) NAME: Bart Mulvihill (D) AGE: 48 YEARS ON MAUI: 29 CURRENT PROFESSION: Realtor PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Decline to state KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: HOSPITALS “Overturn the CON process or bring about overwhelming pressure the State Health Planning and Development Agency cannot bear.”… HIGHWAYS “Reform state procurement laws allowing certain companies to rape our budget with inflated bids.”

KEY MAUI ISSUES: HOUSING Supports building “state subsidized apartments for the working class, not welfare, so this sector can save money for a down payment to realize the great American Dream.”…

TRANSPORTATION Would “openly solicit the government to subsidize fuel costs through bond measures to make Hawaii airfares more affordable.”

(Challenger) NAME: John Blumer-Buell (I) AGE: 60 YEARS ON MAUI: 34 CURRENT PROFESSION: Homemaker & gardener EXPERIENCE: Landscaper, Maui General Plan Advisory Committee member PRESEDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Obama KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: WATER USE Calls for increased water storage, funded by charging fair market rate for agricultural water that’s diverted: “The diversion of East Maui stream water is degrading and destroying the natural environment and violating laws regarding cultural practices and human rights.” …

HEALTHCARE Supports de-privatizing Hana Health; calls the projected $62 million dollar deficit for the Hawaii Health Services Corporation “a crisis”; promises to “work for a new hospital in South Maui” and “encourage a public-private partnership.”

KEY MAUI ISSUES: ENERGY Proposes the creation of a “Hawaii Indigenous Power Sources Master Plan,” supports tax credits and low-interest loans to encourage alternative energy use... FOOD Supports community gardens and local farmers: “We need a workable plan for Hawaii State Food Independence."

“I would like to serve through the power of love, not the love of power.”

–John Blumer-Buell

East Maui:

“We irrigate deserts to look like tropical rainforests while agriculture has to endure yearly cutbacks.”

–Lucienne de Naie

COUNTY COUNCIL

(Incumbent) NAME: Bill Medeiros AGE: 61 YEARS ON MAUI: 61 CURRENT PROFESSION: County Councilmember EXPERIENCE: United States Air Force, 35 years in various public agencies PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Obama KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: HEALTHCARE Emphasizes the “urgent need for dialysis services in East Maui,” is working with state and local officials, Hui Laulima O Hana and other agencies to push for the service… AFFORDABLE HOUSING Is “working with Hana Ranch Properties, Hale Mahalolu, consultants and builders to pursue affordable housing projects”; also emphasizes the need for senior housing and a daycare center for Hana.

KEY MAUI ISSUES: WATER Calls for a needs assessment, development of new water sources; says the key is to “balance the use of water for housing and ecological and environmental concerns.”

(Challenger) NAME: Lucienne de Naie AGE: 60 YEARS ON MAUI: 23 CURRENT PROFESSION: Writer, researcher, part-time farmer EXPERIENCE: Business owner PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Obama KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: HOUSING Would expedite affordable housing projects; supports lowering property taxes for those living on traditional family lands granted during the Mahele... ECONOMIC OPPORTUNITIES Supports small-scale local farming; would seek funding for certified kitchens in Hana and other East Maui communities to allow families to produce food and goods for sale.

KEY MAUI ISSUES: ENERGY Calls on local government to increase efficiency, set an example: “We need the Council and Mayor to lead the way in converting all county facilities to the cleanest, most energy efficient systems possible.”... WATER USAGE Supports creation of a new comprehensive water use plan that “respects traditional water rights for native Hawaiians” while focusing on conservation, efficient collection and storage and audits and oversight of the county’s largest users.

West Maui: (Incumbent) NAME: Jo Anne Johnson AGE: 61 YEARS ON MAUI: 20 CURRENT PROFESSION: County Councilmember EXPERIENCE: Writer, business owner, youth center director PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Decline to state KEY DISTRICT ISSUES: ISOLATION “We are removed from needed medical care and also many of the key services that we depend on if our transportation corridor is closed off.” Works with the Honoapiilani Highway Relocation Task Force, pushing for a “secure a transit corridor that is at least removed from the flood zone.” Has introduced land use changes to make construction of a new medical facility possible. LACK OF INFRASTRUCTURE Has introduced a measure to suspend building permits on ag lands, arguing that it’s “best to place infrastructure ahead of development to reduce the cost and complications that arise when homes, many of them multi-million dollar, may be in the way.”

KEY MAUI ISSUES: OVER-RELIANCE ON TOURISM “I will continue to support funding for the expansion of our high tech industry, farming community and also programs such as MEO micro-enterprise, which allow small businesses to form that will serve the needs of our community.” RAPID DEVELOPMENT Wants to call a “timeout” to discuss keeping farmland prices down, instituting traffic impact fees and conserving resources.

(Challenger) NAME: Chayne Marten AGE: 55 YEARS ON MAUI: 10 CURRENT PROFESSION: Real estate agent, writer EXPERIENCE: Motivational speaker, athletic conditioning coach PRESIDENTIAL ENDORSEMENT: Undecided KEY DISTRICT/MAUI ISSUES: HEALTHCARE Calls construction of an urgent care facility “a matter of life and death.” Proposes funding it through private industry, offering a “tax free holiday; no taxes for the first five years,” or by holding a celebrity “charity concert.”

ECONOMY Proposes harbor expansion “to accommodate our freight needs.” Calls for “responsible development” that takes “into consideration our natural resources and having infrastructure in place before development.”

“I have survived hurricanes, tornados, economic hardships, business downturns, tourism difficulties, budgetary challenges, family health issues and the past seven years as a public servant.”

–Jo Anne Johnson NOTE: Alan Fukayama, who also filed papers for this seat, failed to return repeated calls and e-mails soliciting his input. Jared DuBois initially filed, but has since dropped out of the race. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

13

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Wailuku Chevron offers unexpectedly good eats hen you’re weighing options for a meal on the town, here’s betting you don’t immediately think of Chevron. Sure, it’s as fine a place as any for filling your car with the nutrition it craves—but your belly?

Well actually, yes. And we’re not just talking candy bars and gum, either. At least not at the Chevron in Wailuku, which offers an array of surprisingly enticing breakfast and lunchtime options.

W

Chevron Food Mart 2085 Main St., Wailuku 244-0869 Hot food served Mon.-Fri. Breakfast, 7-9:30am, lunch; 10am-2pm For AM eaters, recommended fare includes the French toast, which, though an admittedly difficult-to-screwup dish, is a cut above average here; and the croissant sandwich, a fine firstthing-in-the-morning, stick-to-yourribs standby. There’s also ample coffee in a variety of roasts, brewed up fresh and piping hot.

If it’s midday munchies you’re after, the choices are even more expansive. The honey fried chicken and chicken katsu should top the list for poultry lovers, while the breaded beef also hits the spot.

All of the above are served with rice or mashed potatoes and potato-mac or green salad. The “regular” portion is

huge, while the “mini” is plenty big enough for all but the hungriest diners.

Moving away from the hot bar—which also serves sandwiches, burgers and other goodies, by the way—we arrive at a cold case stocked with pre-made salads, wraps and sushi. If you’re like me, the term “pre made” conjures up some not-so-appetizing images, but a sampling of Chevron’s offerings indicates this stuff is actually made fresh, with ingredients that hold up under the shrink-wrap.

Those whose gums are fitted with a sweet tooth or two will want to peruse the cornucopia of sweets that rests alongside the cold case’s other items. The pumpkin pie, a dessert that even upscale eateries sometimes get wrong, is especially noteworthy. You can buy it by the slice or the entire pie. (I chose option one, then immediately wished I’d gone with two.)

Finally, while Wailuku Chevron is getting a mention in this space because of the restaurant-like grinds it offers, it’s worth noting that there are distinct advantages to grabbing grub at a place that also acts as a mini mart. If you want to augment your meal with a drink—soda, juice, bottled water, beer—or a prepackaged side dish like chips or beef jerky, it’s all right there at regular retail prices.

Bottom line: Fine dining this ain’t, and probably not the place to take that special someone on a first date. But if you’re looking for a quick, hearty meal on the go you could do a lot worse, and the reasonable prices only sweeten the deal. With petroleum hovering around $4.70 a gallon, it’s nice to know you can still head to the gas station for a decent, not to mention tasty, bargain. MTW

Not to be used with any other coupons or discounts. Coupon has no cash value.

Coupon expires 12-31-08

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AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAHALO!

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AUGUST 14, 2008

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FRESH FISH • STEAKS • SALADS BABYBACK RIBS • CHICKEN Serving lunch & dinner 7 days a week Located on front street in Lahaina overlooking the Banyon Tree

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invite you to join us for a special evening of great food and great wine, featuring a 4 course dinner created especially by Chef/Owner Raul Bermudez and wines selected by Better Brands of Hawaii.

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Starting at 7:00 pm Regular a la carte dining room opens at 5:00pm

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AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Located oceanside in the Sands of Kahana Resort Just 10 Minutes North of Lahaina

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Serving Daily 7:30am to 9:00pm 4299 L. Honoapiilani Hwy.

Sustainability, Maui style Saturday & Sunday (Aug 16 & 17), Pilina Building, MCC [GREEN LIVING] As island dwellers, we have a heightened awareness of the state of our environment. A drastic example of this is the likelihood that Maui’s food supply would run out after ten days if shipping were to come to an abrupt stop. Yet many say that if we get our shit together the Hawaiian Islands can serve as a sustainability model for the rest of the planet. Events like the Maui Island Sustainable Living Expo (ISLExpo) really help get our thinking into green mode. Over 50 speakers and panelists are slated to give their take on how to accomplish this. Discussions and exhibits will address sustainable energy and the many benefits of buying locally grown food (which, obviously, include boosting the local economy). Speakers will include renowned Hawaii chef Peter Merriman and Marin County (CA) Sustainable Agriculture Director Steve Quirt. An added bonus is the focus on incorporating Kanaka Maoli (indigenous Hawaiian) values in the pursuit of conserving our resources. There is a $45-$55 fee to attend the conference, but viewing the exhibits on display on the MCC Great Lawn is free, as are a concert and farmer’s market that will take place Saturday night from 6-8pm. Call 984-3792 or visit www.sustainable maui.org for more info. [Kate Bradshaw] Photo by: anh quan

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446

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AUGUST 14, 2008

17

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Kate Bradshaw

Iao want to believe

Another reason to go veggie

Opens Friday (Aug. 15-24), 7:30pm, Iao Theater, Wailuku

Friday (Aug 15), 7pm, Cameron Center Auditorium, Wailuku

[STAGE] Local playwright Brian Peoples brings his fourth production to Wailuku’s Iao Theater this weekend, and this time dames, hard-drinkin’ detectives, and, well, aliens rule the stage. Peoples says he styled his latest after B-movies of a bygone era, though the story takes place in the modern day. Set in Wailuku, Maui Space Alien Mystery follows the misadventures of a hard-nosed detective who reluctantly takes a case involving a man who believes he is being harassed by a space alien disguised as a woman (the femme fatale, of course). Peoples says he drew inspiration for many of his characters from Café Marc Aurel regulars he used to encounter every day while he was employed there. So if you’ve ever gotten your daily dose of rocket fuel from this Market Street arts hub, do not be surprised if at least one of the characters seems a little familiar. Runs Fridays and Saturdays at 7:30pm and Sundays at 5pm There will be an after party following each show at Café Marc Aurel. $15, $12, Students/Seniors; $12 Sundays. For tickets, call 242-6969 or visit mauionstage.com [KB]

[LECTURE] Whether it’s religion, music, or veganism, it’s never a good idea to push your unsolicited views on people. When mention that I am vegan people often preemptively shoot down my dietary choice, probably because they expect me to spew forth some kind of save-the-bunnies sermon. Yet I feel no need to evangelize a roommate whose bacon and eggs fry in a skillet next my pot of quinoa. What bothers me is not the choice to eat meat itself, but rather the unquestioning acceptance of it in spite of what science has been telling us. This is why people like PETA vice president Bruce Friedrich do what they do.

Tonight’s lecture will link food choice to the science behind global warming, the food crisis, nutrition, and animal sentience.

No matter what your beliefs are, more information is always a good thing. Free. For more information call 298-8544. [KB]

THURSDAY

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HO’OMANA’O benefit for Mana'o Radio

August 16 (Saturday), 9am-2pm, Cameron Center, Wailuku.

August 17 (Sunday) 4-8pm, Castle Theater, MACC.

[RUMMAGE SALE] My version of heaven is pretty much the set from Jet Li’s “Hero” with an immaculate and always perfectly breaking Big Beach thrown in. And the people from the Cameron Center are definitely headed there. If you’re not familiar with the Cameron Center, it’s a space in which many health and human service are bundled up together. That and it operates without government assistance. They are basically good people. The bazaar helps to showcase the Cameron Center’s awesomeness get the community acquainted with it. If that doesn’t draw you in, there’s going to be entertainment, food, a rummage sale and a silent auction. Oh yeah, I bet that caught your attention. Free. For more info visit www.jwcameroncenter.org or call 244-5546.

[Ynez Tongson]

[BENEFIT] Right now, I’m listening to one of my favorite songs, “Stress”

by Jim’s Big Ego. Do you know where I was introduced to such eclectic music? Mana’o Radio. I’m sure many of you have a similar experience. Mana’o Radio has given the community pearls of wisdom, more than its fair share of laughs and a wide, wide range of music. Now, here’s your chance to not only support this shining pinnacle of community radio, but to also hear some of the music live and get a few chuckles in. The benefit will include Friends of Mana’o Radio Willie K, Tita, Lono, George Kahumoku Jr and Tita among others. This kind of makes me hope that Mano’a Radio has a Myspace or Facebook, so I can be friends with them too. Tickets: $10, $25 & $35. For more information visit www.mauiarts.org. [YT]

DAY

Photo by: William C Hutton, Jr.

Cameron Center's 10th annual bazaar

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

19

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

‘Tropic’ of conversation Downey Jr. and company drop more than F-bombs heady blend of outrageous Grand Guignol comic set pieces and fast-twitch dialogue, Tropic Thunder walks a fine line of dangerous satire that straddles gallows humor and bawdy pop-culture inflected slapstick. In the midst of filming an Apocalypse Now-styled movie an overzealous crew squander a multi-million dollar explosion, thereby forcing director Damien Cockburn (Steve Coogan) to plant cameras and explosives in an area of a Southeast Asian jungle for the cast to perform a low-budget reality version of the script. Action-movie-has-been Tugg

A

Speedman (Ben Stiller), goofball comedy star/heroin addict Jeff Portnoy (Jack Black),

Tropic Thunder

★★★★★ Rated R/106 min.

Aussie method actor Kirk Lazarus (Robert Downey Jr.), hip-hop pretty boy Alpa Chino (Brandon T. Jackson) and nerdy Kevin Sandusky (Jay Baruchel) make up the cast of

war movie stereotypes. Aside from some scene-stealing by Tom Cruise as a bald and fat Hollywood producer prone to cursing a blue streak, Downey Jr. owns the movie with his comically layered performance as an actor who underwent skin pigmentation treatment in order to play an African American soldier.

Downey’s performance will go down in cinema history as one of the most ridiculous yet comically effective experiments of the decade.

The movie opens with a series of hilarious parody commercials that identify each of the main “actors” involved in the film-inside-thefilm. An Alpa Chino blurb for an energy drink called “Booty Sweat” goes so far into hip-hop culture’s one-track obsession for poontang as to be cathartic. A Tugg Speedman segment for his flagging Scorcher action movie franchise points up the futility of action flick sequels, and Jeff Portnoy’s fat/fart comedy movie series Fatties pokes in the ribs of Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy for their efforts in that area of humor. But it’s the sham trailer for Kirk Lazarus’ gay-themed movie Satan’s Alley, about lust between priests in the Middle Ages, that induces howls of laughter.

Tobey Maguire does cameo honors as the

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Method acting meets racism. object of desire for Lazarus’ character, and narration by movie trailer narration specialist Don LaFontaine provides added punch to the longing stares of passion.

The satire’s more obvious points of departure come from movies like Full Metal Jacket, Rambo and to some degree Robert Altman’s The Player. An ironic use of archetypal war related rock songs shoots daggers at the portentous syrup of Buffalo Springfield’s “For What It’s Worth” that posits “There’s something happening here” as an objective view of a militia-enforced society at war with itself. The outdated effect of the song is transmogrified into an irreverent post-modern joke. It’s a movie about the making of a war movie during an era when all bow at the altar of pop culture celebrity, making interaction between the actors hinge on experiences that are already thrice removed from reality. The brilliance of Thunder’s lampoonery comes across in its deeply woven threads of self-referencing character actors and deceptively offhand narrative touches that combine to form a perfect storm of comic ideas. A finely tooled supporting performance from Nick Nolte as the narcissistic Viet Nam vet on whose autobiographical book the sub-movie is based bestows a degree of cynicism that effortlessly matches the American media’s abysmal condition.

The story gets muddled as our team of impromptu soldiers attempt to rescue Tugg Speedman from his incarceration at the hand of a group of heroin purveyors led by a 12-year-old tyrant named Tran (Brandon Soo Hoo). Speedman is reduced to recreating scenes for his captors from his movie Simple Jack, in which he played a bucktoothed retarded man.

The movie wraps up with Cruise doing a hip-hop-styled dance to T.I’s 2004 song U Don’t Know Me that contrasts darkly to his famous Risky Business underwear jig. It’s a lasting moment of sheer rebellion that puts a bow on Tropic Thunder as a comedy intent on searching and destroying mediocrity. It’s a movie that knows what it’s up against. MTW

MOVIECAPSULES

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SHOWTIMES Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 Son of Rambow - PG13 - 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), The Dark Knight - PG13 - Th 3:40, 7, 10:15. F 4:30, 8. Sa-Su 1:15, 4:30, 8. M-W 4:30, 8.

Mama Mia - PG13 - 3:30, 6:30, 9 Mirrors - R - F 4, 7, 9:35. Sa-Su 1:30, 4, 7, 9:35.

M-W 4, 7, 9:35.

The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 PG13 - Th 3:45, 6:45, 9:30. F 3:45, 6:45, 9:30.

Sa-Su 1, 3:45, 6:45. 9:30. M-W 3:45, 6:45, 9:30.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - PG - F 3:30, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9. M-W 3:30, 6:30, 9.

Step Brothers - R - 4, 7:15, 9:45

Ka’ahumanu 6

Kevin Costner plays against type as a beer swilling Everyman.

Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema SON OF RAMBOW - PG13 - Comedy - Will Proudfoot's (Bill Milner) parents belong to the Brethren, a religious sect that bars him from glimpsing the outside world. Despite this, he finds himself captivated by First Blood and starring in an ultra-low budget remake of it (hence the title). 96 mins. (Kate Bradshaw)

New This Week BRIDESHEAD REVISITED - PG13 Drama - Based on a novel of the same name, this film chronicles the friendship of lower-class Londoner Charles Ryder (Matthew Goode) and Sebastian Flyte (Ben Whishaw). Spanning from the 1920s up through the start of World War II, it focuses on the complex relationship between Ryder and Flyte’s family. 134 min. (KB) MIRRORS - R - Horror - Kiefer Sutherland plays an ex-cop whose family is tormented by ghosts that dwell inside the mirrors of their home. This high-tension flick was adapted from a South Korean film by The Hills Have Eyes director Alexandre Aja. 110 min. (KB) STAR WARS: THE CLONE WARS - PG Animation - Anakin and Obi Wan now must deal with warring clones. Sounds familiar.

This time it’s animated. 90 min. (KB) TROPIC THUNDER - R - Comedy - The cast of a Nam flick in-the-making finds itself having to go from fantasy to reality after a series of mishaps. Plenty of room for brilliant satire. 106 min. (KB) VICKY CRISTINA BARCELONA - PG13 Comedy - Woody Allen’s latest edition, this flick follows the romantic misadventures of two young American women (played by Scarlett Johansson and Rebecca Hall) spending the summer in Spain. Also stars Javier Bardem and Penelope Cruz. 96 min. (KB) THE WACKNESS - R - Drama - A lonesome teenage pot dealer and the therapist with whom he trades grass for therapy sessions form an unlikely friendship. The film takes place during the Summer of 1994, when hip hop, Giuliani and Phish heads alike ran rampant. 95 min. (KB)

Now Showing THE DARK KNIGHT - PG13 - Action - The lines between good and evil, right and wrong are blurred in this film as Batman struggles with his morals in the fight to defeat the Joker. As far as I’m concerned those boys can fight all they want as long as Batman shows up in that skin-tight, black leather suit. 152 min.

GET SMART - PG13 - Comedy - Steve Carell plays the enthusiastic but accident-prone spy/nerd lead in this film adaptation of the TV series. American sweetheart Anne Hathaway plays his sultry assistant. 111 min.

HANCOCK - PG13 - Action - Hancock is happy to be a misunderstood superhero with a habit of causing more trouble than he saves, until he saves the life of a man who happens to be married to hottie Charlize Theron and a whole new batch of troubles comes his way. 95 min.

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH - PG - Comedy - 3D makes a major come back in this funny remake about a ridiculed professor that follows his heart on a journey that takes him places no man has ever gone before. 89 min.

MAMMA MIA - PG13 - Comedy - ABBA returns with a vengeance in this screen adaptation of the musical that put a skip in the step of dancing queens around the world. 98 min.

THE MUMMY: TOMB OF THE DRAGON EMPEROR - PG13 - Action - Apparently the third in a series involving embalmed and ornery ancient monarchs, the newest Mummy turn looks to ancient China for its backdrop. After accidentally waking a cursed Han Emperor (Jet Li) from his 2,000 year sleep, explorer Rick O’Connell (Brendan Fraser) ends up being charged with stopping the undead from pursuing world domination. 114 min.

PINEAPPLE EXPRESS - R - Comedy - This stoner/action/comedy flick is the latest Judd Apatow project. It involves a stoner who unwittingly witnesses a murder and the subsequent paranoid flight of said witness and his pot dealer.

Think Superbad with guns. 111 min. (KB) THE SISTERHOOD OF THE TRAVELING PANTS 2 - PG13 - Drama - Based on the megapopular book series, SOTP2 chronicles the friendship of four BFFs. A brilliant way to snag an entire generation of lifelong chick flick devotees. 117 mins.

SPACE CHIMPS - G - Family - Two brave astronaut chimps (and one lazy chimp with legendary grandfather) take on a dangerous mission to fly through a black hole to an inhabited, earth like planet. Talking primates are so darn cute! 71 min.

STEP BROTHERS - R - Comedy - Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly recapture their youth in this film about two grown (but not quite grown-up) men who find the friend they’ve been searching for when their parents get hitched. 95 min.

SWING VOTE - PG13 - Comedy - Beerscwhilling, apathetic nobody Bud Johnson (Kevin Costner) somehow ends up being the person whose single vote will determine the outcome of a presidential election. What it lacks in realism it certainly makes up for in timing. 100 min.

WALL-E - G - Animation - Wall-e is just your ordinary robot until he mistakenly gets left alone on a deserted planet and develops an adorable, but clumsy, personality. 97 min.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 875-4910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Brideshead Revisited - PG13 - 1:30, 4:30, 7:10, 10 The Dark Knight - PG13 - 12:30. 3:40, 7, 10:10 Mama Mia - PG13 - 11:45, 2:10, 4:35, 7, 9:25 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 PG13 - 11:15, 1:50, 4:25, 7, 9:35 Step Brothers - R - 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8:05, 10:20 The Wackness - R - 11, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15 Wall-e - G - 11, 1:15

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor PG13 - F-Su 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:50. M-Tu 3, 5:15, 7:30, 9:50.

Pineapple Express - R - F-Su 12, 2:35, 5, 7:35, 10. M-Tu 2:35, 5, 7:35, 10.

Star Wars: The Clone Wars - PG - F-Su 12:15, 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15. M-Tu 2:30, 4:45, 7, 9:15. MTu 2:35, 5, 7:35, 10.

Tropic Thunder - R - F-Su 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30. M 2:45, 5, 7:15, 9:30. Tu 2, 4:15, 6:30, 8:45.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Get Smart - PG13 - Th 3:20, 6, 8:40.

Hancock - PG13 - Th 2:20, 5, 7:20, 9:45. F 2:20, 7:25. Sa-Su . Sa-Su 2:20, 7:45. M-W 2:20, 7:25.

Journey to the Center of the Earth - PG - Th 2:20, 4:45, 7, 9:20. F 12:05, 5, 9:45. Sa-Su 12:05, 5, 9:45. M-W 5, 9:45.

Mirrors - R - F 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40. Sa-Su 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40. M-W 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40.

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor PG13 - Th 1:55, 3:50, 4:35, 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 9:55. F 1:10, 1:55, 3:45, 4:35, 6:30, 7:10, 9:10, 9:55. M-W 1:55, 3:45, 4:35, 6:30, 7:10, 9:10, 9:55.

Pineapple Express - R - Th 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:40, 6:20, 6:50, 7:20, 9, 9:30, 10. F 1, 3:20, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:40, 6:50, 7:20, 9, 9:30, 9:55. Sa-Su 1, 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:40, 6:50, 7:20, 9, 9:30, 9:55. M-W 1:30, 2, 3:40, 4:10, 4:40, 6:50, 7:20, 9, 9:30, 9:55.

Space Chimps - G - 1:40, 3:50, 6, 8:10 Star Wars: The Clone Wars - PG - F 12, 1:30, 2:25, 3:50, 4:50, 6:15, 7:15, 8:40, 9:40. Sa-Su 12, 1:30, 2:25, 3:50, 4:50, 6:15, 7:15, 8:40, 9:40.

M-W 1:30, 2:25, 3:50, 4:50, 6:15, 7:15, 8:40, 9:40.

Swing Vote - PG13 - Th 1:30, 4:10, 6:55, 9:35. Th 1:40, 3:50, 6, 8:10. F 9:20. Sa-Su 6:20. M-W 6:20.

Tropic Thunder - R - Th 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 10. F 12, 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 10. Sa-Su 12, 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 10. M-W 1:45, 2:30, 4:15, 5, 6:45, 7:30, 9:15, 10.

Vicky Cristina Barcelona - PG13 - F 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:20. Sa-Su 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:20. M-W 2:05, 4:30, 6:55, 9:20.

Wanted - R - 6:40

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor PG13 - Th 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. F 2, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Sa-Su 11:30, 2, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. M-Tu 2, 4:45, 7:15, 9:45.

Pineapple Express - R - Th 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9:15. F 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9:15. Sa-Su 11, 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9:15.

M-Tu 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9:15.

Swing Vote - PG13 - 2 Tropic Thunder - R - Th 1:45, 2:30, 7, 9:30. F 1:45, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 11:15, 1:45, 4:30, 7, 9:30. M-Tu 1:45, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

21

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY YNEZ TONGSON YNEZ@MAUITIME.COM

Rockin’ in the free world ugust 15 is Admission Day, the day Hawaii was declared the 50th state. Many of us will have the day off, leaving work/school behind to frolic is the surf, sand and sun. Of course, spending the day at the beach is all well and good, but you know what would end your Admission Day holiday perfectly? A rocking concert at the Lahaina Civic Center.

Here’s a quick guide for your aural pleasure, along with a state of origin.

Toronto, Canada isn’t even part of the United States. The entire theme of this article would have been completely thrown off if Battle of the Bands winner Erin Smith didn’t also call Kihei home. Her bluesy-jazzy vocals range form a soothing lullaby to a rambling, whiskey-filled night. Erin comes from a very musical background, having bands in both Maui and Toronto. That isn’t even mentioning her many other musical exploits, such as singing with

A

Kanoa and Byron Brown. As the Battle of the Bands winner, it will be her responsibility to open for featured musicians, 311.

Something tells me she’ll do just fine. Of course, it helps that she’s cute.

311 + BOB winner Erin Smith Friday, August 15, 4-10pm Lahaina Civic Center Tickets: $42; (877) 750-4400

California was admitted as the 31st state in the Union. Its largest cities are Los Angeles, San Francisco, San Jose and San Diego. Augustana, recently added to the playbill, hails from San Diego. You might know them from their 2005 single, “Boston.” They recently released their 2008 album, Can’t Love, Can’t Hurt in

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April. Their music is decidedly whimsical, with faint traces of melancholy. Kind of like a bridesmaid fantasizing about picking out china patterns at her true love’s wedding. This isn’t to say they’re pansies.

Their rhythms are solid and the lead singer’s vocal range is impressive.

Nebraska was admitted as the 37th state. Some people might be wondering, “Why should I care about Nebraska?”

Well, oddly enough, for all their ska-rock tunes, which bring to mind big wave riding and days spent at the beach, 311 originates from Omaha, Nebraska. Moreover, the band name refers to a skinny-dipping incident, in which a former member was charged with indecent exposure and escorted back home, clad in nothing but handcuffs. 311 is the headlining band amidst these stately shenanigans. I’m sure you’re all aware of this, but 311 has been wildly successful in its musical endeavors, which include more than 10 albums with another one due out in 2009.

Photo: www.311.com

311, Battle of the Bands winner Erin Smith unite

Nebraska’s finest, 311.

With all of this excitement, I wonder if the boys from 311 will have time to surf? I mean, Nebraska means “flat water.” For all their globetrotting (they were in Japan last week), the waves of Maui must be alluring.

Hey, it might not be their state’s admission day, but there’s a reason to celebrate.

Don’t stay home; sometimes, it’s okay to go a little crazy. With a musical line-up like this, the bands are bound to do you right. Unlike 311’s song, they won’t be here a while. So unless you want a sad state written on your face, it’d be best to buy a ticket now. MTW

DA KINECALENDAR Big Shows 311 - Friday, Aug 15. The five rasta punk rockers of 311 are coming for an end of the summer show that’s bound to draw Maui crowds off the beach and out of the water to hear some of the incredible, unforgettable tunes that they’re known for. Tickets: $42. kingmichelconcerts.com. Lahaina Civic Center.

Ka`anapali Nights - Saturday, Aug 16. Hawaii recording artists Barry Flanagan of Hapa and Eric Gilliom of Barefoot Nativesperform as part of a summer concert series. $40/$20 keiki. 7-8:30 p.m. Royal Lahaina Resort. 661-9119.

Lisa Loeb - Saturday, Aug 16. I’ve always admired Loeb for rocking her signature glasses without ever for a second seeming nerdy. The New York songstress that took the world by storm with hit songs in the 90s is apparently also a cool, beautiful, talented, down-to-earth type of girl, which would usually make me bitterly jealous. OK, I’m a little jealous, but not enough to stop me from seeing her take the stage with her guitar and her thoughtfully poetic lyrics. Special Guest:Gail Swanson. Tickets: $28. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

George Kahumoku, Jr. - Sunday, Aug 17. This three-time Grammy Award winner is not only extremely skilled at his craft, but is also a phenomenal storyteller and all-around nice guy. I saw him play on Moloka`i last year and found him to be the embodiment of aloha. He will play some tracks off his new release, Na Ano`ano. Free. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Center Satge, Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-6230.

Ho’omana’o 2008 - Sunday, Aug 17. The creme of the Maui crop will play this annual benefit concert to support Mana’o 91.5, Maui’s commercial free, independent, eclectic radio station. Willie K, George Kahumoku Jr., Eric Gilliom, Eddie Tanaka, Vince Esquire and a bunch of other super-talented people are going to be doing there thing and you don’t want to miss it. Tickets: $35, $25, $10. 4 p.m.-8 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Stage Calling All Readers - Monday-Friday. Want to read for Maui On Stageís Bare Essential Theater? Roles are announced at monthly readings and scripts are given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23.

Maui Space Alien Mystery - Every Friday, Saturday & Sunday. Maui-based playwright Brian Peoples is said to have based many of the characters in this play on quirky regulars to whom he served coffee when he worked at Wailuku’s Cafe Marc Aurel.

Peoples will host an after party following each show at Cafe Marc Aurel. Tickets: $15, $12 seniors & students, $12 Sunday matinee. . Fri & Sat 7:30 p.m.; Sun 5 p.m. Iao Theatre, Wailuku. 242-6969.

Tickets on Sale Steel Pulse - Sat, Aug 23. Grammy-winning UK roots rock band Steel Pulse has been spreading the word for more than three decades. I imagine this show will be packed. The fact that it takes place on the lawn adds a nice stonerly touch. $35 in advance/$40 at the door. . 6 p.m. MACC Lawn. 2422787 x225.

Augie T - Sat, Sep 6. Wildly popular Hawaii-born comedian Augie Tulba will perform on Maui one night only. Proceeds benefit the Speak the Dream Foundation, a scholarship program that Tulba founded. $25, $20. $15. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Events THURSDAY, AUG 14 SBA Resource Day - The US Small Business Administration will give confidential 30-minute consultations to local small business owners on the wide range of programs designed to enhance small businesses. Free. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. American Savings Bank, Kahului. 541-2990.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Sugar cube, 11 a.m.; Dazzling daisies, 3 p.m.; Hawaiian quilt, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 5732424.

Lahaina Caregiver Support Group - Everyone needs a little support sometimes. This is a chance to meet other caregivers and people in the industry.

Free. 2-3 p.m. West Maui Seionr Center.

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

An Evening With Joe Souki - Fundraiser for Hawaii State Rep. Joe Souki. Features music, prizes, and food. $25. 5:30pm - 7:30pm. Wailuku Community Center. 242-4599.

Kahului Lions Club - Anyone interested in being involved is encouraged to attend this dinner meeting.

6 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel. 243-7402.

Night at the Reef - A rare chance to glimpse MOC’s aquarium exhibits after dark. Food and beverages will be served. $24. 6-8 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7088.

Dalai Lama Documentary - A screening of, Dalai Lama Renaissance, a film that captures various individuals’ interactions with the Dalai Lama. Narrated by Harrison Ford. $10. 7:30-9:30 p.m. Temple of Peace, Haiku. 575-5220.

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Zoolander. 9:30 p.m.

Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

FRIDAY, AUG 15 Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Charm bracelet, 11 a.m.; Bouquet ring, 3 p.m.; Wire wrapping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only.

Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 5732424.

Job Club - Get help preparing resumes, contacting prospective employers and interviewing. Free. 3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143.

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Maui Calls Gala Fundraiser - The Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s annual fundraiser features music, food and drink with a canoe theme. $195 per ticket. 6 p.m. MACC, Kahului. 2422787 x225.

Na Kupuna O Maui Public meeting Community leaders discuss the benefits of the Hawaiian Constitutional Convention. 6:30-9 p.m.

Kihei Community Center. 879-4364.

SATURDAY, AUG 16 Julie’s Hope Garage Sale - Items for sale include clothing, plants, household items, sporting equipment, and much more. All proceeds from the sale will be donated to the ìJulieís Hopeî fund to help cover cancer treatment costs for Julie Wood, Maui Police Departmentís Criminalist (CSI Scientist). 7 a.m.-3 p.m. 1028 Kuhio Place, Wailuku.

Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth some totally awesome treasure at a random flea market.

This might be a good place to start. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene Ave, Kahului. 8773100.

Habitat for Humanity - Spend a few hours helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m. Call for details. 893-0334.

Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m. Maui Waena School.

Wild Dolphin Sand Sculpture Contest Amateur sculptors are invited to try a hand at shaping dolphins from sand. Prizes will be awarded in various categories. Sponsored by the Pacific Whale Foundation. 9 a.m. Keawakapu Beach, Kihei. 2498811 ext 1.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Basic earring, 11 a.m.; Quick cluster, 3 p.m.; Silk knotting, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Relay for Life - All-night American Cancer Society event to raise cancer awareness. 6 p.m.-6 a.m. Taste of Lahaina Field. 244-5553.

Obon Festival - Annual festival to honor the dead.

Obon dancing begins at 7. 6-10 p.m. Paia Rinzai Zen Mission. 579-9121.

Full Moon Celebration - Celebration of the Hawaiian moon goddess Hina. $20. 6:30 - 8:30 p.m.

Studio Maui, Haiku. 757-9306.

Indian Music Concert - Classical and devotional performance featuring tabla, sarod, and more. $10. 8 p.m. Mandala Ethnic Arts, Paia. 283-0517.

SUNDAY, AUG 17 Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritual essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient high-spir-

itual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St., Wailuku. 244-4103.

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Book Signing - Author Aumakua Ra discusses and signs Healing With Angels. 1:30-2:30 p.m. Maui Academy of the Healing Arts. 214-7203.

Drum Cirlcle - Bring your drum and beat away with others in the community. Free. 4 p.m.-sunset. Kihei.

298-9022.

Sunset Drum Circle - Come and drum, dance and shake it on the beach with Omzone. Free. 4:20 p.m.

Kamaole Point. 298-9022.

Israeli Dance - Learn traditional and modern International and Israeli dances. Free. 4:30-6 p.m.

Grace Church, Kulu. 264-5214.

Tropical Tango - Attendees dance Argentine tango.

Participants who enroll in preceding 5 p.m. beginners’ class are admitted for free. $10. 7:30 p.m.

MACC. 281-8595.

Line Dancing - Practice your tush push ya’ll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m.

Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Learn basic crimping methods, 11 a.m.; Wire wrapping: 2 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Wailuku.

Grandparents Support Group - Join the Raising Our Keiki’s Keiki group for food, fun and support. 9-11 a.m. Maui Family Support Services, Kahului. 2420990 x270.

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 2:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Soroptimists of Maui Meeting - Visitors are welcome at this meeting of business and professional women that’s dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in our community. 4:30 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 264-1775.

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

Hana Hou in Concert - Unique military ensemble Hana Hou will play their island interpretations of pop, rock, and R&B favorites. Free. 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Quick cluster, 11 a.m.; Silk knotting, 3 p.m.; Basic earring, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080

MONDAY, AUG 18

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sportsspecific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656.

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace, Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI - Haiku Boy’s

Senior Line Dancing - Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m. Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313.

Pipe Up - No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for Direction. 876-0154.

Women Helping Women - A support group for women affected by domestic violence. 6 p.m. Kihei, call for details. 242-0775.

High Hopes Square Dance Club - A place for beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

A Night with Willie - Local musician Willie K will play at this event to help raise awareness for Hui O waa Kaulua, a group that promotes Hawaiian culture by teaching Keiki about Hawaiian canoes. Free. 7-9 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Free Beading Classes - Learn new skills and be creative. Hawaiian quilt, 11 a.m.; Charm bracelet; 3 p.m.; Basic earrings, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Keiki

TUESDAY, AUG 19 Blood Bank of Hawaii Blood Drive - One of four opportunities to do your part. 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m.

Maui Electric Auditorium, Kahului. 372-9966.

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271.

Maui Singles Investment Club - This event gives Maui singles a chance to mingle while learning about investments. 5:30-7 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249.

Ukulele Lessons - Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with. Free. 5:45 p.m.

Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Folk Dancing - Shake it folk style with the Maui Israeli Fold Dancing group. Free. . 8 p.m. Jewish Congregation of Maui, Kihei. 280-1051.

Speed Dating - Sit down for a round of threeminute dates. Who knows, you could find true love... or at least someone you might want to spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5. 8 p.m.

Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului. 871-1414.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Bouquet ring, 11 a.m.; Sugar cube, 3 p.m.; Basic crimping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Toastmasters - Perfect your public speaking skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa Church, Kihei, 298-3966.

WEDNESDAY, AUG 20 Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal, CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makawao. 572-2424.

Wailuku Community Association Meeting Speak your mind about your community under the banyan tree. . 5:30-6:30 a.m. Banyan Tree Park,

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

23

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

Thursday 08/14

Friday 08/15

Saturday 08/16

Sunday 08/17

Monday 08/18– Wednesday 08/20

Jeff New No cover, 10pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith Band No cover, 10pm

TBA

MON - DJ Blu Sol, 9:30pm; TUE - Kahala & Indo of LAWA, 9pm ; WED - Bamboo Blues 9pm

Rio Thing No Cover

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

Versatile $10, 10pm

Coyote Ugly $10, 10pm

Haiku Hillbillys $10, 10 pm

Paia Town Massive/DJ Blast; $10, 10pm

Dave Carroll No cover

Orin & Junior No cover Quiz Night No cover, 8pm

Space Luau $7, 10pm

2291 Honoapiilani Hwy., 661-3160

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Lecture Pool and Spa Safety Seminar - Wed. Learn about a new federal law concerning drain entrapment issues for non-residential pools and spas. Free.

2-4 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort, Security Training Room. 661-1234.

Entreprenuership Discussion - Thu. Discuss your ideas with other members of the community.

Free. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resourse Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247.

First Aid Class - Thu. Learn basic emergency response techniques. $25/$20. 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.

Kaiser Permanente, Wailuku Clinic. 243-6325.

Maui Democrats Reading & Discussion - Thu. Veteran journalist Robert Scheer discusses his new book The Pornography of Power: How Defense Hawks Hijacked 9/11 and Weakened America. A screening of the film Senator Obama Goes to Africa follows. $5. 7-9 p.m. Kihei Charter School. 579-9442.

Producer’s Night - Thu. Screening of film The Cutting Edge: The Matic of Film Editing. Free. 6-8 p.m. Akaku Community Television, Kahului. 871-554.

AUGUST 14, 2008

TUE - Kanoa of Gomega, $5; WED - Anuhea, $5, 10pm TUE - Damian Awai

Dave Carroll No cover

Alex C No cover

MON - Erin Smith; TUE -Jazz Night; WED -Howard Ahia, No cover

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

MON - Silky Ringo, TUE - Scott Baird

Off Tomorrow $7, 10pm

Silky Ringo 9pm

and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111.

Kids Love Stories - Tue. So bring them down to listen at Lahaina’s biggest bookstore. Free. 10-10:30 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

Summer Youth Center - Mon-Fri. A place where the kids (ages 9-18) can stay busy learning, playing and socializing while you’re at work. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Hui Malama Youth Center, Wailuku. 242-9730.

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call. Free.

6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 2895050.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the latest in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10 a.m.

Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

Saturday Stories - Sat. Bring the kids down to Lahaina’s biggest bookstore for stories and special events. Free. 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

662-1307.

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

YoYo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 4-5 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 7-12. Free. 2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public Library.

573-5313.

Sea-Wees - Mon. An ocean ‘edventure’ for keiki aged 3-5. This month’s theme is “Slow, Fast, Fastest.” Only 12 spots available. $10, $40. 9:3010:30 a.m. Pacific Whale Foundation’s Discovery Center, Ma`alaea. 249-8811 ext 1.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-in basis.

Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center. 984-8260.

24

Hawaiian Nights No cover

Salsa w/ DJ Jose $7, 10pm

GIOVANI’S HARD ROCK CAFÉ

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles & DJ Jammin J; $10, 10pm

Dance Party 10 pm

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

MON - Open Mic

Mapenzi Marimba/Zuni Migoze; $10, 9:30pm

COMPADRES COOL CAT CAFE

Maui Kila Kila No cover

MON - Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina

Benefits of Going Veg - Sat. PETA Vice President Bruce Friedrich will give a talk on the impact of our food choices on the environment,, our health, the global food supply, and animals themselves. Free. 7 p.m. Cameron Center Auditorium, Wailuku. 2988544.

Health and Safety Talk - Wed. A chance for local business owners to learn how better employee health and safety can save them money and make their business run more smoothly. Free. 12-1 p.m.

Maui County Business Resourse Center, Maui Mall.

873-8247.

Workshops Telephone Skills Workshop - Wed. Learn how to enhance customer service and increase sales.

Workshop will take place twice. $35. 9-11 a.m. & 1-3 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 877-0051.

Workshop: How to Get Published - Wed. Learn the best ways to get your stuff out there. . 1:30 p.m.

Maui Community Business Resource Center, Kahului. 873-8247.

Ayurveda and Kama Sutra - Sun. Workshop on love and relationships according to ayurveda. $50. 47:30 p.m. Studio Maui, Haiku. 250-7161.

Passionate Presence Workshop Intro - Wed. Introductory session for the following weekend’s Sensory Awareness and NOW Presence workshop with Baba Dez Nichols and Amrita Grace. $10. . 2836203. Studio Maui, Haiku.

Learning to Let Go - Daily. Discover how to release attachments that no longer suit you. $135. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. Studio Maui, Haiku. 572-2578.

Environment Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center.

870-0052.

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?.

8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 249-8811.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices.

Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land Trust.

8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe`e. 244-5263.

Sustainable Living Expo - Fri & Sat. Sustainable Maui’s first-annual expo on green living on Maui.

Includes panel discussions, documentaries, local food, and opportunities to learn about Hawaiian culture. $55/$45/$30; lawn events are free. 8 a.m.-8 p.m. Maui Community College. 984-3379.

Volunteer on Vacation - Sat. Get to know Maui

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

better by volunteering time to one of many important environmental projects. Meet local experts and learn about the history and environment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the Pacific Whale Foundation!.

9 a.m.-3 p.m. Honokowai. 249-8811.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

Sports Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the thought of dealing with sand is just too much to bear. Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial, Pukalani, anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W, F, S 9 a.m-4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30 p.m. These hours can change due to events. To double check you can call, 270-6135.

Walk, Run,Train - Every Tue & Thu. Whether you’re a walker or a runner, you’ve got a group to train with.

5:30 p.m. Runner’s Paradise, Maui Mall. 877-5300.

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors - Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club.

243-2999.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. 984-8200.

Relay for Life - Every Sun & Sat. Walk, run or skip but don’t miss this fun and heartwarming global fund and awareness raiser for the American Cancer Society. 6 p.m. Taste of Lahaina Field. 244-5553.

Mahu Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Free. 1 p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei.

Speed Dating - Mon. Dance party to follow. 8 p.m.

Wow-wee Maui’s Kava Bar, Kahului. 871-1414.

Art Art Night - Fri. Features the work of Dario Campanile and Dale Zarrella. 6:30-9:30 p.m. Lahaina Gallery, Front Street, Lahaina. 661-6284.

Fine Art Clearance Sale - Sat. Help local artists make room for new creations and find some good deals while doing so. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao. 573-6000.

Wailea on Wednesday - Wed. Features the work of artists Ronaldo Macedo and Dario Campanile.

6:30-9:30 p.m. Lahaina Gallery, Wailea. 874-8583.

Bronze Beauty - Daily. William Neil exhibits his amazing organic castings in bronze. M-Sa 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Paia Contemporary Gallery.

579-8444.

Ceramics Show - Daily. Ceramics by Albert Molina on display. The gallery is open daily. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Banyan Tree Gallery, Lahaina. 661-0111.

Photography Competition - Daily. Hi Art

Magazine is seeking entries featuring portraits of the faces of Hawai`i. Competition open to all Hawai`i residents.

Entries due by Sept 1. www.hiartmagazine.com for more info.

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30 p.m.

Lahaina. 661-6284.

“Support the Arts - Support the Artists” - Sat. Upcountry Fine Art’s local art clearance sale and benefit. Local artists will sell overstock originals at a discount. Benefits artists, Isis Scholarship Fund and Hui No’eau.

10 a.m.-2 p.m. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao.

873-6000.

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Thursday 08/14

Friday 08/15

Saturday 08/16

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli No cover

MON - Da Ha-y-ns, 9pm

Way Back Machine No cover

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-y-ns; No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover

Cheryl Rae Band $5, 10pm

TUE - Kilohana, No cover; WED - Celtic Music, No cover

I’O JACQUES

DJ Del Sol 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

Vince Esquire No cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Kenny Roberts No cover Crunch Pups $5, 10pm

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

LIFE’S A BEACH

Monday 08/18– Wednesday 08/20

Karen B No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8422

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Sunday 08/17

Rampage No cover, 10pm

deAquino Bradaz

Sam Ahia

Sam Ahia

MON-WED - Sam Ahia

311 Alternative Party No cover, 10pm

Roller Derby Disco Party No cover, 10pm

Industry Night 9:30pm

MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE - DJ Razor, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, 10pm

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs Lokahi Pacific Fundraiser - Tue. Craft and rummage sale to benefit the needy. Includes baked goods, plate lunch and rummage sale. 8 a.m.-1 p.m.

Weinberg Center, Wailuku. 242-5761.

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and

canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Aloha Craft Fair- Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall. 872-4320.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos.

9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978.

2008 Ho’olaulea - Daily. A Hana Imi Na’auao event. Event features a farmers’ market, loi kalo (taro patch) tours, food, entertainment and more. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Keanae Peninsula Park, Mile 16, Hana.

248-7022.

Heui Arts and Crafts Fair - Daily. Partial proceeds go to Na Kupuna O Maui. Free. . 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Rummage Sale- Daily.The Cameron Center’s 10th-annu-

al bazaar features entertainment, food, and a silent auction. . 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 244-5546.

POETRY Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 6623950.

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free. 6

p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome. Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

KARAOKE Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-1811.

Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555.

Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road, Kapalua,

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

25

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 08/14

Friday 08/15

Saturday 08/16

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Malik No cover, 9pm

Shaka Saturdays $10, 10pm

DJ Mike 9pm

DJ Mike 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

DJ Music No cover, 9pm

MON - Hazmatt; WED - Pole Dancing/DJ Music, No cover, 9pm

Cyrus C No cover, 8pm

Blue Gecko No cover, 9pm

A Kettle Prime No cover, 9:30 pm

D.U.H No cover, 9:30pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Randall Rospond & Tom Conway; WED - Willie K, $25

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Junior Guys; TUE - I-Chalice; WED - Open Mic; No cover, 10pm

Trike Night 10pm

DJ Nutmeg $5, 10pm

Flavazone $8, 10pm

DJ Jay P $5, 10pm

DJ Blast $10, 10pm

DJ Nutmeg $10, 9:30pm

LULU’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

OYSTER BAR 744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

PACIFIC’O SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - Na Hoku, Crazy Fingers; WED - Way Back Wednesdays, 10pm

WED - Industry Night w/DJ Nutmeg, No cover, 10pm Blue Hawaii Rooftop Party $10

MON-WED - Live Music

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

DJ Lexus No cover, 10pm

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - Guest DJ; WED - ADD Twins; All no cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water No cover, 10pm

MON - Karaoke, 9:30pm; TUE - The New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ Del Sol, No cover, 10pm

Vince Esquire No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Jerry Caines Jr. $3, 9pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIP-UPS TAVERN

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town Center, 8790004.

Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku, 249-0052.

Tip Up’s Tavern - Mon, 9:30 p.m., 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299.

Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed,Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Derrick Sebastian; Mon,“Derrick & Josh”; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music.

All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Sea House Restaurant - Early sets in the Sea Breeze Terrace: Thu & Fri, Brian Haia; Sa-Su, Lui Williams; Mon-Wen, Coelho Morrison. All sets 3:305 p.m. Thu, Albert Kaina and Kincade Basques; Fri, Kincade Basques; Sat, Coelho Morrison; Sun,

AUGUST 14, 2008

Monday 08/18– Wednesday 08/20

Orin & Junior No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

26

Sunday 08/17

Tom Cherry No cover, 10pm

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

Club Night Disco $5, 10pm

R-U-Gay & Happy Club Night; $10, 10pm

Andrew Jauba; Mon & Tue Kincade Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 -2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

SOUTH MAUI Backstreet Cafe - Fri, Liz & Joanie; Sat, Steve Monroe, all sets 5:30-8:30 p.m. Sun, Nicky Campos, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd, 891-2595.

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei - Fri, Erin Smith; Sat, Anuhea; All sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Gail Swanson; 6-8 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; 7 p.m. Tue, Randall Rospond; 6:30-8:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony; Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed, Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz.

All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Fri, Ron Kuala’au. 6:15 p.m. , Sat Tarvin Makai 6:15 p.m.1237 L. Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774.

Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 2440852.

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 2446816.

Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844.

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe - Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2 p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks;

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music.

All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Banyan Tree Restaraunt - Wed & Thu, Ranga Pae 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian.

6-8 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

Thu, Mon, Tue, Bobby and Ralph; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Sun, Fausto and Kawaika; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve

Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:3011:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 6-9 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:30-9:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing. 7:308:15 p.m.

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YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH Kihei-Mondays at Keolahou Church 11am-2pm. Wailuku-Monday thru Tursday at Wailuku Health Center 8:30 am-12pm. Paia-Wednesdays at Paia Community Center 12:30pm-3:00pm.

LahainaThursdays at Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center 9am-12pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call 984-2129

REAL ESTATE

KIHEI VILLAGES Top floor 2bed/1.5ba condo with ocean views across the street from Maui’s longest beach. Stop paying rent - Invest while the market is soft. Pets allowed. Only $239,000 Josh Jerman, Broker Mystery Shoppers We are hiring responsible, motivat- (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All ed and computer literate individu- Islands als to evaluate customer service and store standards. Home comCENTRAL MAUI CONDOS puter and internet access a must.

Enjoy this unique and interesting Five 1 and 2 bedroom condos position as a mystery shopper for a across the street from the blue Fortune 100 company. Part time Pacific ocean and walking distance working hours based on availability to Maui Community College, the and location. Training wage MACC, shopping, and restaurants. $8.00/hr, regular wage $11.30/hr. Investors, these units rent for plus mileage. For additional infor- $1100 - $1250/m. Price from mation and to submit an inquiry $89,000 to $120,000. Josh please visit qualityshopper.org No Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands fees required

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DISTRESS SALE Lowest priced 2bd/1.5ba condo in Southpointe, Kihei. Bamboo floors and marble floors, Granite bathroom countertops, new designer fans and lighting. Two parking stalls. Only $212,500 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283-2222 Century 21 All Islands

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HOUSES FOR RENT OHANA FOR RENT One bedroom cottage at Lahaina’s Baby Beach. $2500 plus electric, completely furnished. Call 6676968.

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VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

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Homes, Offices, Condos.

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We get the job done right.

MUSIC & ART ACOUSTIC TIDES Is looking for a new lead bass player with equipment, ready for gigs.

Must be over 21. Contact Melissa 808-463-9335

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SERVICES Have a Party and Learn Something New! Fun and easy making photo slide show with music on DVD for great gifts & keepsakes! We bring everything. ezPhotoStory.com 879-4605

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ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide.

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MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

DROP OFF 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku

SIGNLANGUAGE

CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Talk about barking up the wrong tree. Persistence won’t help you here; it doesn’t matter how determined you are if you’re looking in the wrong place. You’ll never find what you seek there. You may have to face the possibility that what you want just isn’t out there and available to you right now. That doesn’t mean you’ll never find it, just that there’s no real point in pursuing it at the moment. You already kind of suspected that all this effort you were putting forth would ultimately lead to disappointment; why not just call it quits now, and put that energy into one of the numerous things that are going well?

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) When you screw up, you get more negative fallout than you fairly should. This is because you rarely make big mistakes; it’s like the straight-A student getting caught cheating on a test. You get more than your share of disappointment and perhaps even punishment than the guy everyone thought would copy the answers if he could. It’s not the least bit fair, but complaining about it won’t change much. When you get flak for screwing up this week, just suck it up and move on, and realize this is what you get for elevating people’s expectations. It’s better than being expected to fail, isn’t it?

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Encourage scrutiny. The interesting and appealing thing about the scenario you’re facing is that the more closely someone takes a look at who you are and what you’re up to, the more impressed they’ll be.

A cursory glance at your agenda is not likely to catch anyone’s attention, but if someone manages to give it a second look—to give you a second look—chances are they’ll stick around to find out more. The trick is getting them to give you that crucial double-take—figuring out just how to do that, of course, is this week’s challenge.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Forget second chances. You already blew that shot. You probably don’t even deserve a third chance, to be fair, but this week you could land one anyway, if you wanted to. Before you go there, though, make sure it’s what you really want. After all, you already botched this twice. Don’t knock on, open, or walk through that door unless you’re pretty damn sure that this time you’re ready for what you’ll find there. I think it mostly goes without saying that this wouldn’t just be your third chance; it’d be your last one, too.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) There’s a time to get pissed off about the status quo, and a time to simply accept it. Determining which this is depends on you. You can change things, if you want, although it might require tremendous effort.

Are you willing to make that effort? Bitching and moaning about something without bothering to try to change it is a useless waste of time and energy. Don’t bother. If you’re going to let yourself get fired up, then you’d better be prepared to step up and put your money where your mouth is. Otherwise, I advise just letting it go, and keeping your mouth shut. Change it or live with it. No griping allowed.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) It boggles my mind that some scientist believe Earth is the only place in the entire universe where life exists, just because we haven’t yet discovered empirical evidence to the contrary. It’d much harder to believe that in the vastness of the cosmos nowhere else had the conditions to produce life. Sometimes, it’s safe to make assumptions based on overwhelming odds that something is so, even if you have no proof.

This is one of those times. You don’t know the specifics of the situation, but you have every reason to believe that your guesses are right. Given that it would be shocking if you were wrong about your hunches, stop wasting time waiting for confirmation and just proceed as if they’re proven fact.

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AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) The sooner you realize that most people are assholes who don’t give a crap about other people until they’re given a reason to, the better off you’ll be. Once you embrace this cynical extreme and acknowledge the grain of truth in it, you can stop expecting people to be more than selfish or self-centered. At that point, instead of being disappointed because people don’t live up to the angelic ideal you wished for, you can be pleasantly surprised that hardly anyone is worthy of the pessimistic assessment I described above. Most people, of course, fall somewhere between saintly and criminally selfish. Learning to treasure them for their generosity will ultimately make you much happier than reviling them for their shortcomings.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Be as scientific as your intuitive, logic-shunning brain will allow this week. You need to be analytical, scrupulously methodical, and above all else avoid leaping to conclusions, because whatever assumptions you make will almost certainly be wrong or inaccurate in some crucial way. Acting on hypotheses will get you into all kinds of trouble, and probably be embarrassing, too. Everyone—and I do mean everyone— must be innocent until proven guilty, and receive the benefit of your doubt. This doesn’t mean ignore your suspicions just because you can’t prove they’re right, but it does mean keeping your mind open and your mouth shut about them until you can.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) You know that thing that you keep butting your head against, with only a headache to show for it?

Guess what? It’s not going to change. You already knew that, but your stubbornness forced you to persist, anyway. Give up. Once you accept that it’s immovable, your choice becomes simpler and easier to make: love it or leave it. Discard the options in-between. They’re just compromises that will only delay the inevitable. If you really can’t come around to accepting and embracing what’s before you, you need to walk away. There’s no point in sticking around, since it will just make it more painful when you split later on.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Whatever you decide to get into is totally okay; just make sure you own it. Doing something halfheartedly or in secret is likely to backfire on you right now, so it’s best to make your decisions and do your thing as openly, enthusiastically, and transparently as possible. If you really can’t be that honest about your actions and decisions, you may have to allow for the possibility that they may be the wrong ones. Reassess your choices and why you think you need to keep them hidden from those who care about you. It’s time to come out of the closet about what you’re up to or quit doing it altogether until you can.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) You haven’t really done anything wrong, although I understand why you’re apologizing. In your head, taking the blame often seems the easiest way to move through the conflict and just put it behind you.

However, it’s hardly fair, and doesn’t really give you much ground to stand on if and when you ever decide to take a stand. It also doesn’t allow for actual resolution of the conflict since you can’t solve a problem you’re not really causing. Stop undermining yourself for the sake of simply avoiding conflict, and start addressing the real roots of that conflict, no matter what it costs you to do so.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) I’m not a big fan of all-or-nothing solutions. I don’t think completely cutting someone or something out of your life is necessarily the answer here. However, it could be the temporary transitional solution you need to get to a healthier place. Give yourself some mental breathing room and order a total blackout on a relationship that isn’t currently good for you. Make sure you have at least a week (or longer, if you think that’s what it’ll take) to think about what new place, if any, this person or activity should occupy in your life. Of course you can ignore my suggestion and just keep on as you have, but be warned: that path will lead to the all-or-nothing scenario I think you want to avoid, and when you get to that point, there’ll be no turning back.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

AUGUST 14, 2008

29

LISA LOEB

RESTLESSNATIVE

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Writing the ship In case you didn’t look at the staff box, my role at Maui Time has changed from Associate Editor to contributor. This means a few things: I’m not hunkered down in my office five to six days a week, I have a hell of a lot of free time and I’m not ignoring your emails. For the most part, I just haven’t gotten them.

Naturally, while still working, I’d fantasize about long, productive days of furthering my writing career and finishing my novel. I think I left my character in the bathroom tending to her boyfriend’s injured foot while a Master Vampire sucks the life out of women across the island and her best friend has decided to shack up with a pack of renegade werewolves.

The reality has been different. I feel like I’ve lost my groove. I feel like a speedy little racecar tearing up the track only to come to a smoking halt after its emergency break was pulled.

I feel like my life is pretty pointless.

So, today, I’m taking a stand to change my attitude and work habits here at home.

I will: -Write a chapter a day. Even if I no longer think vampires are cool.

-Do what I set out to do in the first place.

-Go three 3-minute rounds on the punching bag and remember to breathe.

-Be nice to the kids even though they make me want to run away to Mexico.

-Take those three huge bags full of clothes down to Women Helping Women.

-Groom. A little.

-Draw something other than stick figures hanging themselves from the rafters.

-Get out of my sweatpants and wife beater at least three times a week.

-Query. Query. Query. Magazines that pay a dollar a word.

-Remember that I am in control and that thoughts become things.

Attentioan nt Restaurrs!

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I won’t: -Spend more than an hour a day shopping on eBay. -Spend more than $40 a day shopping on eBay. -Stalk the mail carrier.

-Waste the entire afternoon reading about how some celebrity is cheating with a redheaded waitress who’s young enough to be his daughter.

-Google image search “two-headed puppy” or “heath herring naked” anymore.

-Read through MMA, designer jean or parenting forums for more than 15 minutes at a time.

-Watch Oprah.

-Get loaded and sit on the deck in my bikini before noon.

-Stay depressed over a decision that is the right thing at the right time for the right reason.

-And most of all, I’ll stop eating green bean and bacon casserole for breakfast, lunch and dinner. It’s hell on thighs. MTW

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PLEASE FAX OR E-MAIL THIS FORM TO MAUI TIME WEEKLY NO LATER THAN AUGUST 22ND FAX: 244-0446 / EMAIL: csr@mauitime.com

30

AUGUST 14, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Mind Body

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08/18-08/29 MAUI MATCHMAKERS Fridays, 5PM - Make new friends, network, meet potential lovers, consciously connect, mix and mingle with others of all orientations and relationship styles. You wear beads to indicate who they are and what they seek. Also, Matchmaking Club & Facilitated MatchMeetings. Adults only.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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maui back

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Your Kama’aina Guide to HALF-PRICE DINING

On Newsstands September 4th The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

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MOBILE MECHANIC

Clint’s Car & Truck Repair, ASE Certified Master Mechanic, Free Estimates, Call 250-4491 seven days a week

Lonely female seeks partner for long term relationship Very low maintenance. Food, water, and a cozy place to sleep are all I need. In return will provide unconditional love. Let's grow old together. You can find me at the Maui Humane Society - 877-3680. www.mauihumanesociety.org

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SARENTO'S ON THE BEACH

2008 Best of Maui Winner for "Best Dining with a View" 2980 S. Kihei Road. Dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. www.tristarrestaurants.com/sarentos_maui

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