12.03 EH BRAH Issue 2008, July 10, 2008, Volume 12, Issue 3, MauiTime

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JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

CONTENTS

1 POUND OF

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 03

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4 MAUI COUNTY

10

New Editor Jacob Shafer introduces himself and asks for some freedback in Letters. We take a look at open ocean aquaculture in the Rob Report. Greg logs (possibly) his last LC Watch. Maui 10 sees several players rise and fall. Coconut Wireless discusses the Fourth of July, freedom of the press and, somehow, Pope Benedict. The head of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association claims normalcy in News of the Weird.

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10 FEATURE STORY Eh Brah gets supersized in our special compilation of road rage-related rants, with an intro that encourages people to toss their panties on the pavement.

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION So what do you want to know?

Attention Readers! Send your questions for our staff to jacob@mauitime.com Editor: Jacob Shafer

Associate Editor: Starr Begley

Calendar Editor: Jessica Armstrong

Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Ron Pitts, Glenn Watson Photography: Cajetan Barretto, Chad Crowell, Sean Michael Hower, Greg Hoxsie, Jacob Maurer

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15 DA KINE CALENDAR Ynez Tongson highlights some disparate cream of the crop events, ranging from MAPA’s production of The Jungle Book to a play about a lonely island girl to go kart and paddle board fun to a coral reef meet-up.

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Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com Publisher: Tommy Russo

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon

19 Movie Listings

20 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Starr offers a touching tribute to late Maui writer Liz Janes-Brown and promotes an upcoming gala in her honor.

29 BACK PAGES Sign Language tells you what’s in the stars, while the Restless Native hits the big three-oh.

CLASSIFIEDS 26 Classified Listings 31 Mind, Body & Spirit

Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

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NEW Aloha. So I’m the new kid in class—the malahini to use a word I just learned—standing up here in front of the chalkboard with my weird clothes and dorky haircut. Try to refrain from firing spitballs while I offer my introduction.

I’m your new Maui Time Editor Jacob Shafer, coming by way of the Bay Area where I wrote for the Marinbased alt weekly the Pacific Sun. I love the freewheeling nature of the alt weekly format and can already tell this publication is a fine example of the medium, serving a vibrant, singular community. Add in some sun, sand and surf and, well, what more could a guy ask for?

Well there is one other thing, and that’s a little help from you. While I’m not new to the newspaper business, I am new to Hawaii; in the past I’ve come only as a visitor, a sunburned tourist, and I know enough to know that I have a lot to learn about the people, places and issues that matter. The good news is, I’m a pretty fast learner.

And that’s where you can lend a hand…by placing it on your keyboard and banging me out an e-mail -ext (jacob@mauitime.com) , dropping me a line (244-0777), or leaving a note at the office (33 N. Market St. in Wailuku). Let me know what you want to read about, what you think works at Maui Time (and what doesn’t), what this collection of ink and pages—or ones and zeros for our online readers—means to you.

I can’t promise I’ll implement every suggestion (in fact I can promise I won’t), but I will read and consider them all. This is, after all, an interactive medium. Sure, on the surface it looks like we gather and disseminate the information and you consume it, but all forms of media, newspapers decidedly included, only function when the reader base is an active participant.

It’s your paper too is what I’m saying—let’s keep the lines of communication open and build something together. And feel free to laugh at my haircut.

–JS

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JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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CALLING ALL ARTISTS?

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TWO FOR ONE Alexander and Baldwin rises to the lofty heights of number one on our list this week for two reasons. First, the glowing article about them in Monday’s Maui News and how the mega-corporation donated $25,000 to Maui’s Kaunoa Senior Services. It’s certainly a nice gesture that will garner good press anytime. Nice to see them keeping up their public image and helping out kapuna at the same time. In other news, A&B subsidiary Matson Navigation (the island’s largest shipping company handling over 70% of sea transport statewide) just struck a five-year deal with a couple hundred of its union employees, ensuring they’ll have plenty of deckhands to help rake in their ever rising shipping fees.

EXECUTIVE DECISION Hawaiian Telcom makes a comeback this week with news they’ll be adding on three new executives to their senior management staff.

According to the Pacific Business News, John Komeiji, Craig Inouye and Stephen Golden will be the latest addition to the telecommunication company’s top brass. They must be doing alright if they can afford these guys’ salaries. Seems strange though that they’d be adding executives after reading another article in Pacific Business News reporting CEO confidence is plummeting. Citing several indicators such as employment and investments, the article sates confidence in executives is near all-time lows. Publisher of Chief Executive Magazine Edward Kopko is quoted as saying, “CEOs are clearly negative on the economy and they expect things to get worse before they get better.” Maybe these three are optimists. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

5

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Something’s Fishy

Talkin’ with Gomes

Will open ocean aquaculture feed Hawaii’s people?

Remember when Commissioner James T. Viela resigned after five months on the LC Commission, on the same day MTW reported his 2005 DUI? His vacant seat may be filled by Jimmy Gomes, who previously served on the Commission from 2002-05. We chatted with him July 8; here’s an excerpt:

One fish, two fish, red fish, blue fish.

–Theodore Geisel, aka Dr. Suess ederal officials recently extended a commercial fishing ban on seven species of Hawaii bottom fish, the Honolulu Advertiser reported on Monday. The Western Pacific Regional Fishery Management Council previously capped the amount of the “deep seven” species in 2007 and again this year, to protect the depleted stocks from further overfishing.

The extension from the original date that fishing in the main Hawaiian Islands was to resume—September 1 to November 15—will allow scientific study of current and historic data, in order to properly assess the fishery stocks.

The net effect will mean that the seven highly prized bottomfish species—ehu (yellow-striped red snapper), gindal (banded pink snapper), hapuupuu (grouper), lehi (long-tailed pink snapper), kalekale (Von Siebel’s snapper), onaga (long-tailed red snapper), and opakapaka (pink snapper)— will be seldom seen in fish markets, groceries, and on restaurant menus.

Local fishermen trying to supply an ever-increasing island population and over seven million annual visitors have run up against that omnipresent buzzword of our time: sustainability.

Much like salmon fisheries in the Pacific Northwest, many of Hawaii’s fish stocks are teetering on a precipitous edge, and need careful management to prevent a complete crash.

And, whether through eternal optimism or deep denial, many people continue to look to science and technology to help lessen the numerous impacts of humans’ vast consumption of limited resources.

In the world of energy and fuel, it is hoped that advances in solar, wind, tar sands, hydrogen, and biofuels may compensate for our having reached peak oil, now that we are finding ourselves on the down slope, with higher costs and diminishing returns.

In terms of food, small farms have given way to corporate agribusiness, genetically modified foods, and huge feedlots to supply the masses, all dependent upon a streamlined transportation system to move products from here to there. In the ocean, entrepreneurs are seeking to improve upon an innovation once practiced by native Hawaiians, fishpen aquaculture.

But the modern open-ocean cages

F

6

JULY 10, 2008

LC Watch

A few bites of Kona Kampachi appetizer: $23 at Mama’s Fish House.

bear little resemblance to the stone fish ponds constructed on leeward shores of Molokai and other islands including Maui. Yet, should they survive the scrutiny of environmental review and economic viability, it is possible that aquaculture operations could play a role in Hawaii’s quest for self-sufficiency. wo such open-ocean fish farms already exist in Hawaii, Kona Blue on the Big Island and Cates International off Ewa Beach, Oahu. Another venture, Maui Fresh Fish, LLC, is proposed for waters off the southern tip of Lanai.

Begun in 1999 as a joint research project between the University of Hawaii Sea Grant program and the Oceanic Institute of Makapu`u, Oahu, local fisherman Randy Cates took over the operation in 2001. Cates International holds a twenty year lease on 28 acres of submerged lands two miles off the coast of Ewa Beach and is raising moi, or Pacific threadfin, once reserved for Hawaiian royalty.

The Cates operation consists of four 80foot cages, 40 feet below the surface and anchored to the ocean floor. A portion of gross revenues is paid to the Department of Land and Natural Resources as a condition of the lease.

Expansion plans were announced a year ago, when it was reported that $4.5 million in financing was acquired from a company owner by AOL and Grove Farm owner Steven Case. The influx of capital is intend-

T

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

ed to support expansion of onshore hatchery capabilities and Cates stated plans were underway to seek a second ocean lease. He believes they can expand their output of 1.5 million pounds to as much as 14 million pounds of moi annually.

Kona Blue Water Farms, LLC, founded in 2001, manages eight undersea pens a halfmile off the Kona Coast in 200 feet of water.

Each pen is capable of holding 50,000 Kona Kampachi, a trademarked name for their high end product, otherwise known as yelsee FISHY, page 9

MTW: You’re probably familiar with the LC rules on dancing. Do you agree with them?

JG: I would have to read all the testimony very carefully and then come to a decision.

MTW: What about the hostess bars? Do you think there should be more or fewer of them?

JG: I believe there are only 12 of them, and there’s a moratorium on future ones.

MTW: Won’t that make the value of a hostess bar license that much higher?

JG: (laughs) I don’t think that’s the case here. With more DUI enforcement fewer people are going to the hostess bars. I’ve heard they’re taking it in the shorts. I hear they’re having a hard time. That reflects on a down industry.

MTG: By a rough count, the Liquor Control Board now has 19 people on staff. Nine of them have a relative working in the office with them. Does this cause you concern?

JG: Not as long as every applicant is treated fairly, straight owl.

This is a small island and this happens throughout the county and the state. People want their families in. It’s similar to when people worked on the plantations. It supported four or five generations working in sugar or pineapple. All big companies in Hawaii have this, and it’s no different for a county, ranch or private industry. Nowadays they’re stepping up the qualifications though. Now others are stepping in front of some local kids. People with college degrees get the job, unless the local kid went out and got a degree. A family must say, “We’re here to do a job.” If that’s the case, I don’t care. Otherwise, I have a problem with it.

-Greg Mebel

MAUICOUNTY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JARED LIBBY JARED@MAUITIME.COM

diseased people at the infamously mysterious Kalaupapa leper colony on Molokai. While caring for his flock, Damien also contracted leprosy and died in 1889. He was 49. Today The Maui News reports Damien is on his way to sainthood, with the Vatican confirming that the 1999 recovery of a Honolulu woman from terminal lung cancer was in fact a miracle attributed to her prayers to Damien. This was the second miracle attributed to Damien, which puts him on the fast track to sainthood, but it’s still in the hands of Pope Benedict XVI. All this tedious, dogmatic rigmarole seems unnecessary considering the huge sacrifice Damien made in his life. He was an incredible man, no doubt. But why all the holy hoops to jump through? I guess it wouldn’t be Catholicism without the pomp and circumstance. Another odd side-note to this story is the fate of Damien’s remains.

Exhumed, to be re-buried in his native Belgium, his right hand was lopped off and sent back to Molokai to lay beside the church he helped build with, well, his own two hands.

WEDNESDAY, July 2

Photo: Jacob Maurer

At first glance, the new law passed by Gov. Linda Lingle “protecting” journalists from legal action should they refuse to disclose their sources looked like a tough stand upholding journalistic sovereignty and integrity. The Honolulu Advertiser, gladly patting itself on the back for supporting the bill, reported today that Lingle signed the shield law into effect to “provide some legal protection to the newsgathering process.” According to the article, the State Supreme Court ruled that reporters had zero First Amendment Rights way back in 1961, so I suppose this is a step. But what the article also mentions is that the new law does allow the court to “force disclosure from reporters in felony cases, or in civil cases of defamation, as long as prosecutors or defense attorneys meet a three-part test.” In other words, whenever they feel like it. So while this law seems to give the third estate freedom from legal tyranny, it’s really just a legal roadmap for lawyers and judges to go after reporter’s sources. Luckily, the law is set to eclipse in three years to “ensure a legislative review.” Maybe they’ll get it right next time around.

Nice try though.

THURSDAY, July 3 The story of Damien of Kalaupapa is as inspiring as it is bizarre. Born Joseph de Veuster, the Belgian priest cared for and ministered to thousands of banished and

FRIDAY, July 4 Happy Independence Day! It was on this day in 1776 that 56 members of the Continental Congress signed their names to the Declaration of Independence, a cornerstone of modern democracy. Seriously though, through all the fireworks, long holiday weekends and barbecues, sometimes it really blows you away to sit back and think, a bunch of guys actually got together and pulled this off. Sure they where aristocratic, wealthy land owners who may have turned a profit by kicking those Brits back across the Atlantic, but you have to give it to them, they where ambitious. And even if you don’t think of yourself as an American citizen—a moniker many people in this particular state still wrestle with, and I don’t blame them—the truth and intent of that document is very important. “Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” As simple as it is profound. If you ask me, it’s something worth fighting for. Just be sure you know who’s really trying to take it away.

Speaking of Democratic government, Gov. Lingle signed a bill today to begin work on a so-called West Maui Transportation Access Plan. Armed with her mighty veto pen, Lingle cut down a portion of the bill that would hire a mainland consultant for $50,000.

So for now, a “working group” will be formed to discuss just what the hell to do when the Honoapi`ilani Highway is shut down. I’m sure the solution is there somewhere. And I’m just as sure it will take years before anything gets done about it.

Sainthood for Father Damien of Kalaupapa? It’s in the hands of the Pope.

SATURDAY, July 5 OK, so we all saw the headline on the front page of today’s Maui News and gasped. “Lahaina Town denied a Halloween permit,” it read ominously.

But don’t worry, it was just a business organization–Lahaina Town Action Committee—getting shut down on a proposed costume contest and vending permit. Halloween will still happen this year, meaning 30,000-plus scantily dressed drunks will still descend on Lahaina like locusts. Hey, costume idea! Wait what’s a locust look like anyway and how do I make it a sexy locust?

SUNDAY, July 6 You know the drought situation is getting bad when they stop planting sugar cane because they can’t find enough water to feed their new plants. Hawaiian Commercial and Sugar Co. says it will suspend replanting through the month of July when it hopes the island’s reserves will be replenished. According to an article in The Maui News, Wailoa Ditch, a major thoroughfare for the East Maui Irrigation, is running at a meager 18%.

County Water Director Jeff Eng urged people countywide to curb usage. I wonder if those guys I saw using a fire hose to

wash the parking garage of a large condo complex on South Kihei Road know there’s a drought.

MONDAY, July 7 Hilarious article in The Honolulu Advertiser today. Another new law signed by Gov. Lingle would only permit the sale of “fire-safe” cigarettes. By next October, retailers will only be allowed to carry cigarettes approved by the Hawaii Fire Council as “reduced ignition” smokes. Basically they burn at a lower temperature, somewhat reducing the chance they’ll cause a fire. But fall asleep with one in bed, and I’ll bet the term “reduced ignition” no longer applies.

Maybe I’m the only one who thinks this an oxymoronic joke. Can’t wait until they start selling only non-alcoholic beer at bars and bullet-less guns at the sporting goods store. Thank God we have such a wise and caring government to keep us safe from ourselves.

TUESDAY, July 8 New Editor Jacob Shafer here, poking my head in and grabbing the baton from Jared, who’s done a wonderful job filling the empty space between Mr. Pignataro’s departure and my arrival. I’ll do my best to keep up the insightfully good work. MTW

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

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After languishing for two years in the Irish legislature, the Nuclear Test Ban Bill of 2006 has recently been rethought and refurbished, according to a June report in the Irish Independent.

Originally, the bill codified the U.N. Test Ban Treaty, adding some provisions specific to Ireland. Among those additions was the punishment for anyone detonating a nuclear weapon in Ireland: up to 12 months in jail and/or a fine of up to 5,000 euros (then, around $6,500), along with language that might even allow a person found guilty to apply for first-offense probation. The proposed punishment this time is expected to be considerably harsher.

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In May, St. Catharines, Ontario, judge Stephen Glithero released Wayne Ryczak on 14 months’ jail time already served, as punishment for strangling a prostitute in his trailer home. He claimed self-defense (improbable in such a strangulation), but had pleaded guilty to manslaughter, requesting via his lawyer a two-year sentence. Last year, Stephanie Grissom, driving 71 mph in a 55-mph zone, accidentally struck and killed a Howard County, Md., traffic officer when he stepped onto the highway to motion for her to pull over. In

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

May 2008, the case was closed, with Grissom fined $310 and three points on her record.

PROBABLY NOT IN MAKAWAO “This proves that we are normal,” said the founder of the Liberty Gay Rodeo Association in May during the organization’s event in a Philadelphia suburb. The sight of rugged cowboys and cowgirls, she said, dispels some sexual stereotypes that have plagued gays and lesbians. However, among the events (besides traditional steer riding and calf roping) was “goat dressing” (with pairs of contestants trying to put hot-pink underwear on an uncooperative goat in the shortest time, according to a Reuters report).

WHATEVER WORKS After motorist Mark Holder, 30, had a seizure in Boynton Beach, Fla., in June, his car swerved off the road and smashed into a sign, badly injuring him. Emergency workers arrived and, protecting against possible nerve damage, attempted to put a brace on to stabilize his neck. However, Holder became combative, and sheriff’s deputies reported that they were forced to shoot Holder “several times” with a Taser to calm him enough that the brace could be fitted.

DEAL BREAKER A 28-year-old woman, unnamed by the Kitsap (Wash.) Sun, was arrested in May and charged with stealing her husband’s wallet and subsequently assaulting an arresting officer. According to deputies, she had awakened her husband, 24, demanding sex, but he had rebuffed her by insisting that from that point on, the two of them would quit smoking, drinking and cussing, limit their sexual activities and be “good Christians.”

Part or all of that did not sit well with the wife, and police arrived to witness her screaming (described as “blood-curdling”), swearing, slamming doors and complaining about her unsatisfactory sex life, while carrying around a large bottle of whiskey. At one point, she allegedly tossed the couple’s 20pound dog at a deputy (who caught it safely).

OVERHEARD...

“Aye! Why you get dat? At least try fo hide ‘um!”

-Woman outside Bull Bash at Oskie Rice Arena to man holding an open beer while standing in line to buy ticket, July 5, 2008.

ROBREPORT FISHY: continued from page 6 lowtail amberjack. In January, Kona Blue applied for permits to double the size of their operation, increasing their lease area to 103 acres.

Known locally as the kahala, the Hawaiian yellowtail has not been historically revered as a prize catch. A deepwater feeder, it is prone to parasites, earning its nickname of “spaghetti-fish”. Even worse, it can be a carrier of ciguatera, a microorganism toxin capable of producing severe gastrointestinal symptoms in humans who eat tainted seafood.

Kona Blue harvests upwards of 100,000 pounds of fish monthly, and projects 2008 sales of $9 million, mostly on the Mainland. Their corporate offices are now in San Francisco, closer to the sushi markets and upscale restaurants that feature their product.

The Kona Blue website also lists locations in thirty-three states and Canada where diners can find Kona Kampachi. n June 24, Maui Fresh Fish gave a presentation to the Governor’s Lanai Community Advisory Council on their proposal to lease 100 acres off the south shore of Lanai to raise opakapaka in ten open-ocean pens. The plans are particularly ambitious in light of the fact that there has never been commercial production of opakapaka.

An onshore hatchery in the Waiehu area of Maui would pump seawater from a deep well, with temperatures carefully monitored, in hopes that adult fish will breed year around.

Information from a January, 2008 scoping meeting document indicates that hatchlings would be transported

O

from Kahului Harbor on Maui to Kaumalapau Harbor on Kauai. From there, they would be transported to the lease area and, “pumped into nursery net cages suspended within the [larger] Aquapod cages.”

After 16-18 months, market-sized fish would be harvested 1-3 times weekly, and delivered on ice to Ma`alaea Harbor in South Maui.

But the proposal may have a ways to go to gain support from Lanai residents and others. The Star-Bulletin reported that the proposed location was in an area that is one of the favorite fishing grounds, according to one Lanai fisherman. Fishers and divers favor the same leeward spot coveted by Maui Fresh Fish.

The same may be true of endangered humpback whales, and the location is within the boundaries of the Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary. Quoted in the newspaper article, Lanai resident Ron McOmber said, “We have a pile of humpbacks there.”

Marine mammal entanglement in aquaculture cages or lines tethering them to the ocean bottom is but one of many concerns raised by those who have carefully studied impacts of open-ocean aquaculture. The whale sanctuary issue also brings up a potential conflict within the U.S. Department of Commerce, the agency that oversees both fishery operations and marine reserves and sanctuaries.

In 2006, Carlos Gutierrez, the U.S. Secretary of Commerce, announced, “I am convinced that the United States must explore the potential of offshore aquaculture to help meet the growing demand for seafood in this country and to create jobs and economic opportunity for coastal communities.

To support that, we are making the National Offshore Aquaculture Act of 2005 a priority now for this department and for the country.”

Federal legislation is now pending to open U.S. waters, from three to twelve miles from our shores, to such ventures.

But Food & Water watch, a nonprofit consumer organization with offices in Washington, D.C. and San Francisco, cautions against widespread fish farming in public waters. In the executive summary of “Fishy Farms—The Problems of Open Ocean Aquaculture,” they state that despite, “substantial financial and political support, open ocean aquaculture has not been shown to be environmentally sustainable, financially viable, or technically possible on a commercial scale.”

The October 2007 report further describes problems with equipment breakdowns, escaped fish, attracting sharks, and conflicts with other marine operations, including shipping, commercial and sport fishing, military uses, marine reserves, and recreational boating.

Farmed fish also need high quality protein, and fishmeal and fish oil derived from wild fish populations may be used to feed caged fish, along with soy and wheat meal to form the pellet feed. Aquaculture now consumes 80 percent of the world’s fish oil and half of the fishmeal each year, with the industry’s usage tripling from 1999 to 2003.

Caged fish may also be susceptible to disease and sudden die-off, which can

spread to wild fish populations. As a reader of the Star-Bulletin article said in an online forum, “Any diseases would be like a dandelion in the wind,” given the strong current in Hawaiian waters.

The Food & Water Watch report also reveals that Cates International and Kona Blue have benefited from $3.3 million in public subsidies, meaning that the two facilities cost U.S. taxpayers about $63,000 apiece.

But, with prices running at $8.75 a pound for whole fish and $17 a pound for filets of Kona Kampachi, will its production have any impact on a whopping $9.2 billion U.S. seafood trade deficit? The report asserts, “It is unlikely that when someone eats a sliver of Kona Kampachi at a sushi bar they will eat one less tuna sandwich or fish stick.” hile Secretary Gutierrez may be enthusiastic about the opportunities for widespread open ocean fish farming, National Atmospheric and Oceanic Administration funded research acknowledges that little is known about the environmental effects of such operations.

Given that caveat, it makes sense to follow the same advice driver’s education teachers give their students when coming to a yellow light: Proceed forward slowly, and with caution. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

9

t's that time again! You know, where we run a bunch of Eh Brahs that complain about bad drivers and stuff. We collect them all year and then pile them into one big story, augmented by some more great Ron Pitts illustrations, for you to leisurely read while having some coffee, a nice cold beer or while waiting in traffic on the way to Lahaina. Just kidding (about the Lahaina thing)! Respect the road, respect your fellow driver and for the love of God, don't throw things out of sunroofs unless it's underwear or coupons for free food. C'mon!

I

Y

ou are no brah, braddah, or sistah. You are a fool whose good karma-meter’s on empty and gas ain’t cheap. How dare you blow through a stop sign, send me fly-

stronger than you will ever be. I think if I ever met you face-to-face I would forgive you because I feel sorry that you have to live with yourself and that puny, shriveled organ you call a heart. o the woman in the silver Scion cussing out a group of tourists in the Ka`ahumanu parking lot. I heard your foul-mouthed verbal tirade aimed at a group of visitors and the image of your angry face has not left my mind since. Did they hit your car? Did they run over your dog? They seemed pretty calm, even when you continued to rant at them. So, here is my message to you “local” woman: Why are you carrying so much hate?

You made a spectacle of yourself, and for what? You were yelling that all “local” people hate the tourists and what they bring. Yet, you are surely enjoying the benefits of the visitors and what they do for our economy.

Without them, we would all be traveling by canoe and wouldn’t have the opportunity to drive brand new Scions. Think about that.

T

“For the

love of God, don’t throw things out of sunroofs unless it’s underwear or coupons for free food. ”

o the idiots in the white Geo Metro hatchback: You should be relieved because you were just a few seconds away from committing vehicular assault/manslaughter when you decided to circumvent a Maui Bus stopped at a bus stop by going alongside the bus on the side where passengers depart from the bus. Lucky for you the senior citizen getting off was slow, because had he stepped off a second or two earlier, you could’ve faced scores of possible charges, maybe even leaving the scene of an accident. For your sake, I suggest you immediately surrender your license and Geo to the DMV, and ride a bike. Otherwise, I hope your insurance and tags are bad and the cops arrest you.

T

his is dedicated to the lady driving a teal colored Toyota or Nissan Sentra on Honoapi’ilani. Thanks for your complete disregard for others. It wasn’t bad enough that you nearly ran the SUV ahead of you off the road; you had the gall to look at us and smile. WTF? Are you serious? Where did you learn to drive? What the hell was going on in your thick noggin that made you think what you did is acceptable? People lose their lives because of such STUPIDITY! There’s no lane in the middle of the road, squid brain! Don’t drive if you don’t plan to share the road.

T

ing off my moped, and then leave me for dead in the North Kihei darkness? I don’t care how illegal your car was or how drunk or iced out you were. Have you no soul?

Your negligence left me in a bloody, hysterical, semiconscious state that will haunt my loved and me ones for years to come. I hardly remember your car, let alone your guilty face. You were lucky that night, but not for long. One year, two neck braces, three months of disability and rehab, and a foot-long road rash scar later I am alive and

10

JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

his is to the person who ran the stop sign in front of her work causing me to swerve to avoid hitting her. After my truck spun out, the truck’s leaf springs snapped and I took out a stop sign damaging the whole side of my truck. After the accident you told me you were so, so sorry, but you were late for work. Then when MPD showed up, you lied to them saying you never ran the stop sign. Having only liability insurance, my truck is not covered and you refuse to answer calls from my insurance company. Also, you told the arriving police officer that your boyfriend is a retired MPD, meaning you had to hide behind the police instead of being an honest citizen and paying for your mistake. This

T

truck was my only means of transportation for my self-employed business. Without it I can’t support my wife and 10 year old son. o all of the idiots out there who think they need to block traffic in the streets and parking lots in order to get the “ideal” parking spot: How stupid and lazy are you? I can’t believe you think that it’s your right to cause traffic backups because you can’t walk a few extra steps or keep moving your sorry lazy ass until you find a spot. Once, the entire Costco parking lot was in solid gridlock with cars backed up sometimes 10 and 15 deep because of people waiting for spots. Not to mention the pressure you are putting on the person unloading their groceries. Get a life people and get the heck out of the way of people who have a clue.

T

his goes to the four young boys who cut me off getting onto Honoapi’ilani Hwy. What the hell is up with the beach ball that you held out of your sunroof? You let it fly onto the road, and right into my path. Not only that, but it bounced perfectly between a space in the guardrail and onto the beach.

So now you are littering. Then you proceeded to tailgate the car in front of you all the way to the Kihei exit. I wanted to get your license plate number, so I could report you, but I didn’t want to get anywhere near you! I truly hope that the next time you are making a choice to put other people’s lives in danger you have the wisdom and conscience to respect others and the aina.

in front of him to turn. If I weren’t aware of your stupidity, you would have hit me. I’m a strong guy. I probably would have come out alive. I can’t say the same for your 90-year-old mother in the passenger seat. She probably would have died. Was it worth saving two seconds? She saw that I was upset but didn’t say anything to you. I’m pretty sure she already knows you’re an idiot.

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ey, here’s a question for you in the champagne colored Jaguar: how closely are you supposed to follow the vehicle in front of you? Rhetorical question, since you obviously don’t know the answer. So here it is: one car length for every 10 mph you are traveling. That means that all you jerks driving 70mph should have room for 7 cars between you and the next car. Seven! Oh, and DOUBLE that distance if it’s raining. The crazy, weaving, ass-riding Jag gave me all of one car length at most. Had I tapped on my brakes, you would been eating my tailgate. Had you gotten around me this morning, you would have been stuck in line in front of me, with me riding your ass.

The difference is, I drive a shitty truck, and so I wouldn’t mind some shit-colored paint on my front bumper.

H

’d just like to say “Wow!” to the driver in the white Nissan truck that was tailing us half way through Makawao Avenue.

You are so smart! I mean after all, passing us on Makawao Avenue at 30mph and getting one car ahead to still be three cars behind sure makes an impact on how fast you’d be getting to your destination. It was nice seeing you at the stop sign that was only about 20 yards up. May I make a suggestion next time? Just go through the stop sign without stopping so that way it’d be even faster, right? I mean, it doesn’t matter about the safety of the other vehicles that might be coming through; after all you obviously didn’t care when you passed us on that busy two-lane avenue.

Oncoming cars and strolling pedestrians really don’t make a difference anyway when you need to get to where you’re going.

400 HANA HWY KAHULUI 893-BARK (2275)

I

his one goes out to the criminals that were dumb enough to break into my friend’s Ford Ranger. Really, registration papers and safety? What are you gonna do with them? The good news is you were caught on a closed circuit TV system, and the MPD got your prints and even a nice little photo of you. By the way, MPD, DMV and all the Safety Inspection Stations have been alerted to keep an eye out for the missing registration papers that I’m hoping you’ll be dumb enough to use. On that note, see you in court real soon!

T

’d like to thank the two intelligent guys for all the drama in Paia. We asked you nicely to turn off your headlights while you were parked so they wouldn’t be in our eyes and you found it necessary to yell and call me a dumb haole. Then you continued to rant and rave as we sat and minded our own business.

The best part was that you found it necessary to come back and smash my window, fender and windshield. No worries, I thank you for your lesson in pono. I really didn’t understand it until you showed me first hand. Thank you again for your take on pono, but you may be slightly mistaken in your interpretation.

I

T

his is to the guy who chose to use the “left turn” lane at Waipuilani to pass because he couldn’t wait for the truck

ere’s to the rocket scientists driving a mega-lifted black truck heading upcountry thinking it would be fun to swerve onto the shoulder and throw shit at the haole on his moped! At first, I was angry. I mean, who wants to be hit with anything, much less a full soda can? I was so pissed, I called a friend to vent. Strangely, she suggested that perhaps my presence on the highway that night allowed the individual who hit me to release their own anger, thus saving their kids/wife/girlfriend from being hit when the driver got home? While I don’t personally think of the world in such “spiritual” terms, it did help to think that as an adult man, I could “take” your abuse more than other less able individuals in your life. Regardless, when a recently transplanted “haole” has more aloha in his heart than you...well, then you just suck, period. I pray that you don’t have a wife, kids, or girlfriend...for their sake. MTW

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Paris meets Maui at Café a la Plage in Kihei If you’re a morning person, Café a la Plage in the Dolphin Plaza, Kihei, is the place for you. It has bright and sunny walls and a staff that’s chipper (which, by the way, is just shy of perky).

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Now, if mornings aren’t your thing, no problem. They’ve got coffee, lots of it—lattes, expresso, double espresso, etc. and something called a Café Freezer, the closest thing I’ve had to dessert in a glass. I had a white chocolate mocha but it

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BUY ONE BREAKFAST MENU ITEM AT REGULAR PRICE GET YOUR 2ND OF EQUAL OR LESSER VALUE.

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(At left) Christophe Benoit & Christopher Saulnier.

(Below) The Keawakapu Bagel Sandwich with egg, ham or bacon, lettuce, & tomato.

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JULY 10, 2008

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Photos: Sean Michael Hower

BREAKFAST FREE Chips & Salsa

was a toss-up between that and the raspberry macadamia nut.

Not up ‘til noon? That’s OK. They also serve soup, sandwiches, smoothies, shave ice and popsicles. And should you feel like you’re loafing when you should be working, they offer internet services: computer, wireless, printing and fax.

In case you’re not up on your French (and who is these days) Café a la Plage means Café at the Beach. That’s because they’re right across the street from Kam I and because one of the owners is, you guessed it, French.

Christophe Benoit originally came to Maui with the Marriott, having worked for them in Paris, Phoenix and Vegas. Christopher Saulnier is Maui born and raised and worked as a hairstylist before opening the business with Christophe in 2007.

The place has a certain “je ne sais qua” (translation-“I don’t know what”). It’s a little Maui, with the sandwiches named after local beaches and a little Paris, with the food served on plates right out of a Toulouse Latreche painting—can-can dancers, etc. And then there’s the Mona

GRAND OPENING Saturday, July 12th Benefit of The American Cancer Society Portions of the proceeds to RELAY FOR LIFE.

Call for reservations 669-8889

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JULY 10, 2008

13

ONO KINEGRINDS

Photo: Sean Michael Hower

FRENCH: continued from page 12 Lisa. According to Christophe and contrary to popular opinion, it’s here hanging on their wall in Maui rather than in the Louvre. What’s more there’s a whole bunch of them alongside—in various poses. And if that’s not enough there’s a sandwich named for her as well.

I didn’t try one but certainly endeavored to work my way through the rest of the sandwich menu. But first I sampled the soup, green chile chicken with enough zip to get your attention as well as lots of veggies. The salade de chevre chaud, or goat cheese salad, was a mild goat cheese on top of crispy bread served on greens—it definitely earned its fancy French name as far as I was concerned.

So as not to ignore the breakfast side of the menu I had the Kalama, egg, bacon, lettuce, tomato and avocado on an everything bagel. My only complaint was that, at 4 inches tall (or so), major adjustments to sandwich and mouth were necessary before I could eat it.

Back on the lunch side of the menu the Hookipa—hummus, tofu, olive tapenade, cucumber and onions, made me feel more like I was on a

Greek island than at a Maui cafe. And I was definitely ok with that.

My favorite, though, was the Maui Melt. And according to the owners, others think so, too. It’s panini bread (the type that’s been pressed into wavy ridges) with bacon, turkey, jack cheese, avocado and jalapenos. I’m not usually a pepper eater but this sandwich begged for them and was the better for it.

BY NANCY KANYUK NANCY@MAUITIME.COM

(Left) The Maui Melt

A f t e r tasting almost everything that wasn’t tied down I realized you don’t have to know French to enjoy the food at Café a la Plage. Thankfully it speaks for itself, and it’s a good thing, too. Because if your French is as bad as mine, you’ll know why the Mona Lisa is smirking. MTW

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14

JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MAPA Presents Disney’s “The Jungle Book” Thursday – Saturday (July 10-12) 7:30pm, Sunday (July 13) 2:00pm, Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center [STAGE] As a kid, The Jungle Book was one of my favorite Disney films. What’s not to like about singing bears, a man-eating tiger with a voice like expensive wine, a lovable feral child and vultures that resembled The Beatles? Of course, as I grew up I learned the bitter truth: bears can’t talk, much less sing, tigers are endangered and vultures don’t spend their days wondering what to do. As I went on to take numerous psychology classes, I learned that in the unfortunate cases which produce feral children, the children are the exact opposite of loveable Mowgli—like the bears, they can’t even talk, among other things. Education ruined me to the whimsical beauty of “The Jungle Book.”

But you, dear reader, through this theatrical experience can still enjoy a gentler time, when happy endings existed and global warming didn’t. For more information: www.mauiacademy.org, 244-8760. [YNEZ TONGSON]

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

15

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Ynez Tongson

Go Kart Racing

Friday – Saturday (July 11-12) 7:30pm, Sunday (July 13) 5:00pm, Iao Theater, Wailuku

Saturday (July 12) Qualifying starts at 4:45 pm, Maui Motor Sports Park, Puunene

[STAGE] It’s tough to be a single girl on Maui, especially in the summer, with everyone babbling about their plans together. Then again, it’s even tougher to be a peasant girl in love with a handsome young man from a wealthy family. Even more so if the gods decree she must go on a journey that tests her love for said wealthy young man, against the forces of prejudice, hatred and death. Wow, and I thought not having a date on a Friday night was bad. All you lonely hearts wandering this particular island (Maui, not the one in the play) should head on over to the Iao Theater for this highly original rendition of “The Little Mermaid.” Who knows, if the peasant girl Ti Moune can find love, maybe you can, at the least, find a less dysfunctional relationship.

Tickets: Adults $20, Seniors/Students $18, Matinee Sunday $15, on sale at www.mauionstage.com, If The Shoe Fits on Market Street or call 242-6969.

[SPORT] All right, it might not be the cutthroat world of underground street racing, but hey—at least you won’t be at risk for receiving phenomenally huge fines for traffic violations or reckless endangerment. Besides, with stray electrical poles (see: Mokulele Highway) wandering the streets of Maui, that could be bad news for your custom EVERYTHING, nitroinfused, obviously compensating vehicle. Go ahead, feel the exhilaration of seeing that white flag being waved, indicating the final lap. As you watch the karts zip through the track, feel your body clench in anticipation as they speed towards that waving checkered flag.

When Hollywood decides to make a cutting edge movie about the cutthroat world of go-kart racing, you can say you were there first. Racers: $45, for more information call 873-8363.

THURSDAY

Photo: Cajetan Barretto

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JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

The Crunch Pups!

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Paddleboards!

Coral Reefer Madness

Sunday (July 13), Race starts at 1pm for paddle boarders and 1:15 for stand-up paddlers, Maliko Gulch to Kahului Harbor.

Tuesday (July 15) 6:00pm, Community Center on Lipoa, Kihei

DAY

[MEETING] Coral reefs help to support the amazing biodiversity of our island’s ocean.

However, factors such as pollution and extensive land development threaten the health of coral reefs. Unless you live in say, the sleeping Haleakala, it would be hard to ignore the amount of land development that occurs on Maui. But now, with the Kihei Community Association’s help, you can learn how to do your part in saving this precious ecosystem, all the while enjoying Round Table Pizza. Sounds like a good deal, yeah? If you bring in canned food for the Maui Food Bank, you’ll receive a FREE cloth grocery bag from Maui County.

SCORE! For more information call 879-5390 or visit www.gokihei.org

Photo: www.tropicalimage.com

Photo: Chad Crowell

[SPORT] The first time I ever saw a paddle boarder was at Waiehu Beach Park. I was going for an early morning run when I saw a man seemingly standing on the glassy water. It was like something out a of beach flick, the gentle rays of the rising sun silhouetted his image and the water almost glowed. Since the 3rd Annual Maui International Paddleboard Race is a competition, I doubt that the spectators’ experience will be as idyllic as my own, but it will be something memorable, nevertheless.

Unless you’re incredibly jaded (or just hate life), anything involving 12-19 feet boards, a 9.54 mile course exposed to brutal trade winds and people competing for prestige and prize money, should be.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JAZZ /BLUES

JULY 10, 2008

17

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

‘Hellboy’ Freezes Over Solid visuals chilled by lame plot, idle characters Guillermo del Toro’s Hellboy sequel is a simultaneously exhilarating and underwhelming experience due to the idleness of its characters and nebulous sub-plot elements that contrast blankly against del Toro’s trademark of baroquely drawn details. Hopelessly macho lug Hellboy (exquisitely played by the one and only Ron Perlman) lives a clandestine existence with his newly pregnant pyrokinetic squeeze Liz (played by Selma Blair) in the guarded confines of New Jersey’s Bureau of Paranormal Research and Defense.

Dark Prince Nuada (played by Luke Goss) escalates from a saber rattling practice routine to go on a violent rampage to obtain the missing part to a crown that will awaken an army of indestructible clockwork soldiers and enable him to rule the world. Hellboy and his fighting team, which includes a creature-from-the-black-lagoonstyled pal Abe Sapien and a not-sowelcome German gas-bag named

Johann, do battle with Nuada’s weird creatures when they aren’t concerned with more mundane chores of romance and pregnancy issues. The super-hero battles aren’t choreographed and edited with enough pizzazz to meet heightened audience expectations raised with every new addition to the comic book movie genre. Nonetheless, this is a visually delightful movie packed with enough eccentric character elements that keep it entertaining.

Hellboy II: The Golden Army

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/110 min.

Del Toro co-wrote the screenplay with Hellboy originator/comic artist Mike

Ron Perlman glares at his makeup artist in Hellboy II.

Mignola, and yet their union produces a lighter atmosphere than suits the famously dark-toned source material. There’s never any question as to the style of del Toro’s vision providing the substantive meat for the narrative, as with all of his films, but the story here veers irreparably off-track when Abe Sapien and Hellboy join in a duet of Barry Manilow’s “I Can’t Smile Without You.” The moment comes after a love-struck Sapien pines for Prince Nuada’s alter-opposite twin, Princess Nuada (Anna Walton). It’s the kind of ironic, sappy faux sentimentality that bends too far toward an ostensibly celibate fanboy audience that the movie is already predisposed to entertain.

Part of the problem stems from the film that del Toro made between the Hellboy movies. An R-rated adult fantasy tale, Pan’s Labyrinth presented a sophisticated allegory that modulated between fantasy elements of diabolical creatures in an atmosphere of war that constantly threatened its young female protagonist. It introduced the world to a different type of fantasy film, one that could sustain dark symbolism with a sense of historic significance to emphasize a troubled social condition. Mike Mignola’s Hellboy is a demon delivered to the Earth by Nazi occultists before he was co-opted by the U.S. Government to

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

do their bidding. His Thing-like right hand is a giant club, and he has a devil’s tail that only accents his leathery skin’s red color. Objectively, it seems like an ideal character and milieu for del Toro to dig into with a story that might resonate with the same brand of anti-establishment logic he used for Pan’s Labyrinth. But that is not the case.

Instead of advancing a superhero genre for adults, Hellboy II is a coming-of-age comic melodrama with touches of spectacle battles that err on the side of Robin Hood sword fights rather than 21st century fighting techniques.

There is no question that Guillermo del Toro wouldn’t have done a better job directing the recent Hulk movie, but this is a visionary director capable of much more than we see on the screen here. It could be that del Toro is a selfish auteur hoarding his best work for his own films, rather than this kind of Hollywood gig, but it doesn’t suit his talents to create kids’ movies.

Somewhere inside, del Toro is a raging genius bursting at the seams to make his own Blue Velvet or Exorcist. His true nature is not suited to making PG13 movies. Give us the dark, demented and perverse animal biting to get out of his directorial cage. That’s the real Guillermo del Toro. MTW

MOVIECAPSULES

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema

Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 Surfwise - Unrated - W only 5, 7:30

SURFWISE - Unrated - Family - Nine children, a wife and a successful medical practice doesn’t meen Dorian Paskowitz feels tied down. In fact, he decides to throw caution to the wind and uproot the family in pursuit of a surfing career. 93 min.

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: MF until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), Get Smart - PG13 - Daily 1:45, 6:45 Hancock - PG13 - Daily 1:30, 4, 7, 9:30 Journey to the Center of the Earth - PG - F-W 1, 3:30, 7, 9:20 Kung Fu Panda - PG - Th only 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9 The Love Guru - PG13 - Th 1:45, 4:15, 7:15, 9:45. F-W 4:15, 9:15 Wanted - R - Th 1:15, 3:45, 6:45, 9:15. F-W 1:15, 3:45, 6:30, 9

New This Week HELLBOY II: THE GOLDEN ARMY PG13 - Action - A whole new posse of evil creatures have climbed up from the bowls of the underworld and only Hellboy, the misunderstood monster with a perpetually rosy complexion and bad-ass horns, has the guts to take them on and save the world. 122 min

Ka’ahumanu 6

JOURNEY TO THE CENTER OF THE EARTH - PG - Comedy - 3D makes a major come back in this funny remake about a ridiculed professor that follows his heart on a journey that takes him places no man has ever gone before. 89 min MEET DAVE - PG - Comedy - A crew of miniature space men come to Earth incognito inside a space ship designed in the image of it’s tiny captain, who happens to share a strange resemblance to Eddie Murphy. 90 min.

Now Showing GET SMART - PG13 - Comedy - Steve Carell plays the enthusiastic but accidentprone spy/nerd lead in this film adaptation of the TV series. American sweetheart Anne Hathaway plays his sultry assistant. 111 min HANCOCK - PG13 - Action - Hancock is happy to be a misunderstood superhero with a habit of causing more trouble than he saves, until he saves the life of a man who happens to be married to hottie Charlize Theron and a whole new batch of troubles comes his way. 91 min THE HAPPENING - R - Action - Marc Whalberg races against time to save his family and discover what is causing the people of New York City, and eventually the world, to become deranged, disoriented and suicidal in this environmental thriller about how bad we’ve managed to screw things up for ourselves. 91 min.

THE INCREDIBLE HULK: THIS TIME PG13 - Action - The comic book world’s brawniest super hero is back to fight to the death against his most ruthless enemy, the Abomination, and to battle the monster within and choose between a peaceful life among us weakling humans or a violent, permanent life of super powers. 114 min.

Brendan Fraser searches for his career in the center of the earth.

KIT KITTREDGE: AN AMERICAN GIRL - G Family - Inquisitive Kit is a young, budding reporter who’s family gets hit hard during the great depression. When her home is robbed and her hobo friend is accused of being the culprit Kit goes to work investigating the crime and discovers the guilt in a surprising place. 91 min KUNG FU PANDA - PG - Animation - What’s not to love about a chubby, fuzzy panda with an obsession for kung fu and kicking booty? What’s even cuter is the voice of the portly hero will be played by Jack Black, who’s not exactly fitness magazine material himself. 88 min.

THE LOVE GURU - PG13 - Comedy - When a star hockey player and his wife (Jessica Alba) start having marital difficulties they seek the advice of a emphatic self-help guru (Mike Meyers) who grew up enlightened after he was abandoned at an Indian ashram as a baby. And then the penis jokes just start flying. 104 min SEX AND THE CITY - R - Comedy - New York City’s favorite female posse is back from a long hiatus from their HBO series to see Carrie Bradshaw get hitched to Mr Big in what will surely be an glamorous dress and a fabulous pair of heels. 135 min WALL-E - G - Animation - Wall-e is just your ordinary robot until he mistakenly gets left alone on a deserted planet and develops an adorable, but clumsy, personality. 97 min WANTED - R - Action - Wes is a big-time loser

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL - PG13 - Action - Indian aJones may be old enough to collect social security but that doesn’t mean he’s just going to sit back with a golf club in one hand and a pack of adult diapers in the other while the world is being threatened with nuclear disaster by some evildoers bent on world domination. No, much like a fine wineor Steven Spielberg’s directing skills- Jones just keeps getting better with age. 204 min IRON MAN - PG13 - Action - A Marvel’s comic adventure adaptation about a wealthy weapon maker whose trying to stop the evildoers who use his guns to hurt people.

Wait, weapons can kill? Why didn’t someone tell him that BEFORE he designed the worlds most destructive toys. 92 min.

SHOWTIMES

with a dead end job until his dad is murdered and he meets Fox, a smokin hot assassin who teaches him how to unleash his badass nature. 110 min.

YOU DON’T MESS WITH THE ZOHAN PG13 - Comedy - Adam Sandler plays terroristkilling macho Israeli commando who escaped to the streets of New York City to wields insults and hair cutting shears with abandon while spreading his manly charms around in the bed of any woman that will have him. 113 min

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 8754910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), The Happening - R - Th only 10:35 The Incredible Hulk: This Time - PG13 - Daily 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7:05, 9:35 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG13 - Th 5:15. F-W 7:25, 10 Kit Kittredge: An American Girl - G - Th 11, 1, 3, 5:10, 7:20, 9:30. F-W 11:05, 1:05, 3:05, 5:15 The Love Guru - PG13 - Daily 11:15, 1:25, 3:30, 5:35, 7:40, 9:50 Meet Dave - PG - F-W 11, 1:10, 3:20, 5:35, 7:45, 9:55 Wall-e - G - Daily 10:45, 12:15, 1, 2:30, 3:15, 4:45, 5:30, 7, 8, 9:15, 10:15 You Don’t Mess with the Zohan - PG13 - Th only 12:15, 2:45, 8

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Hancock - PG13 - F-Su 11:10, 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10. M-W 1:20, 3:30, 5:40, 7:50, 10 Hellboy II: The Golden Army - PG13 - F-Su 11:30, 2:05, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55. M-W 2:05, 4:40, 7:20, 9:55 Wall-e - G - F-Su 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:05.

M-W 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:05 Wanted - R - F-Su 12, 2:25, 4:50, 7:15, 9:40. MW 2:25, 4:40, 7:15, 9:40

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), Get Smart - PG13 - Th 12:40, 2, 3:20, 4:40, 6, 7:20, 8:40, 10. F-W 12:40, 3:20, 6, 8:40 Hancock - PG13 - Th 11:30, 12, 12:30, 2, 2:30, 3, 4:30, 5, 5:30, 7, 7:30, 8, 9:15, 9:45, 10:15. FW 12, 12:30, 2, 2:20, 3, 4:20, 5, 5:30, 6:50, 7:20, 7:50, 9:10, 9:45 Hellboy II: The Golden Army - PG13 - F-W 1, 1:45, 2:30, 3:45, 4:30, 5:15, 6:30, 7:15, 8, 9:15, 10 Iron Man - PG13 - Th only 12:15, 3, 6:15, 9:15 Journey to the Center of the Earth - PG - F-W 12, 12:30, 2:20, 2:50, 4:40, 5:10, 7, 7:30, 9:20, 9:50 Kung Fu Panda - PG - Th 12:20, 1:50, 2:30, 4:10, 4:40, 6:30, 7, 8:50, 9:15. F-W 1:50, 4:10, 6:30, 8:50 Sex and the City - R - Th only 12, 3:10, 6:25, 9:35 Wanted - R - Th 12:50, 1:20, 1:50, 3:30, 4, 4:30, 6:10, 6:40, 7:10, 8:50, 9:20, 9:50. F-W 12:50, 1:20, 3:30, 4, 6:10, 6:40, 8:50, 9:20

Wharf Cinema Center

Wed.. 7/16 5 :000 & 7:30pm

MauiFilmFestival.com m $100 w/pass

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Get Smart - PG13 - Th only 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Hellboy II: The Golden Army - PG13 - F, M-W 1:15, 4, 7, 9:45. Sa-Su 10:45, 1:15, 4, 7, 9:45 The Incredible Hulk:This Time - PG13 - Th only 3:45, 9:15 Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull - PG13 - Th only 1:15, 6:30 Meet Dave - PG - F, M-W 1:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:30.

Sa-Su 11:15, 1:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:30 Wall-e - G - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. F, M-W 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 11, 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:5

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

19

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Celebration of Life Maui benefit to honor Maui media sweetheart, Liz Janes-Brown When I grow up, I want to be like Liz JanesBrown. Janes-Brown, who passed away on June 23, 2007 after battling breast cancer for a long time, did a little bit of everything here on Maui over the course of 40 years.

After attending the University of Hawaii, Manoa she taught English at Seabury Hall for 11 years. After teaching, she became the first female news director of a radio station in the state while working at KNUI. Brown was also a singer, dancer, actress and a wife and mother.

Most people know Janes-Brown best from her work in print. She wrote for the Maui Sun until 1981 and was a staff writer for The Maui News for over 17 years.

While at the paper, she worked as the paper’s police and court reporter and later became the feature’s writer for the Currents section and Maui Scene.

Personally, I remember Janes-Brown the most from her “Let’s Talk” column that appeared in The Maui News every Sunday. In fact, years ago, I remember reading the column where she first talked about her breast cancer diagnosis. I was sitting on my grandparents’ couch in Wailuku. She continued writing her column until she retired on June 1, 2007, just weeks

before she passed away.

Janes-Brown actively gave her time and talent to the community by emceeing many non-profit fundraisers and was a strong supporter of Hawaii Public Radio.

Celebration of Life July 11, 6:30 p.m. at The Studio Maui, Haiku Tickets: $50 575-9390 or www.thestudiomaui.com for more information.

Even though Janes-Brown was taken from the Maui community, her legacy of good will lives on.

This Friday, June 11, The Studio Maui in Haiku is hosting the first Liz Janes-Brown Gala event featuring Sarala Dandekar, Ty Burhoe and Steve Oda to benefit Ola Maui and Hospice Maui.

Ola Maui’s mission is to “Offer affordable educational healing arts programs that integrate the body,

(Left to right) Sarala Dandekarz, Liz Janes-Brown, Steve Oda, & Ty Burhoe

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

mind, and spirit to create a renewed sense of wellbeing in self, family, work and community.”

Hospice Maui strives “to enrich our community by helping people make the most of the great gifts that preparing them for death can bring: compassion, insight, courage, humility, inspiration, confidence, and growth,” while, “providing physical comfort and emotional and spiritual support for people who are terminally ill and supporting and assisting their families, before the death and while they are grieving.”

Proceeds from the benefit will go to both these organizations to support their work with women and their families who are impacted by breast cancer.

The Celebration of Life Gala will feature an evening of celebration with yoga, local art, a silent auction, pupus, a tribute to Janes-Brown and an artistic performance “Devotion in Motion” featuring a collaboration of dance, poetry and music blending styles from India and the Far East.

Featured artists are Sarala Dandekarz, a Maui resident who has studied classical Indian dance since childhood, Ty Burrhou, a phenomenal tabla musician and Steve Oda, a master of Classical Indian music who has toured internationally for the past 35 years. MTW

MINDCANDY

BY YNEZ TONGSON YNEZ@MAUITIME.COM

Anti Role-Models Quality of Life Directed by Benjamin Morgan [FILM] Let’s face it—I’m a pretty terrible writer.

But, the thing is I can be a terrible writer LEGALLY. The police aren’t going to show up on my doorstep demanding I stop writing. Well, for now, at least. What happens when your preferred form of self-expression is illegal? A provocative writer once said that the first step in controlling your world, is to control your culture. Quality of Life is a gritty indie film depicting the daily lives of two graffiti artists, Vain and Heir. The storyline takes place within the Mission District of San Francisco.

Here are two people that really suffer for their art. While I get the occasional “Are you an idiot?” Vain and Heir face laws such as trespassing, property destruction and even evading arrest. If the story doesn’t draw you in, the soundtrack might.

Featured artists include Modest Mouse, Sebadoh and Built to Spill.

If Mindless Self Indulgence [MUSIC] Over the years, Mindless Self Indulgence has mellowed a little.

You can almost hum along to some of their newer songs and there are even whole sentences that are explicative free.

Even so, I still wouldn’t allow preschoolers and clergy within earshot of their most subdued songs. The beats of If are Mindless Self Indulgence’s standard fare of industrial meets techno then sleeps with techno’s best friend, pop. It’s said that many Mindless Self Indulgence songs actually have clever cultural commentary beneath all the vulgarity; but on the track “MDC,” that commentary is glaringly obvious. If you prefer your music sans mentions of erectile dysfunction and prescription drug abuse, I would avoid If. But, if “it’s three am and she won’t put out” go ahead and pick up the album.

DA KINECALENDAR

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

BIG SHOWS

TICKETS ON SALE

The Jungle Book KIDS - Thursday-Sunday, Jul 10-13. Get ready for this jazzy jungle musical production by 40 students in the Sum R Acting program at the Maui Academy for Performing Arts. $12 adults, $8 kids. Th-Sa 7:30 p.m.; Su 2 p.m. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Kaahumanu Center.

Celebration of Life Gala - Friday, Jul 11. A fund raiser for Ola Maui and Hospice Maui in memory of Liz Janes-Brown, a long-time Maui resident who died from breast cancer. There will be pupus, a silent auction and art show as well as live, Far East meets the Orient music and dancing by Ty Burhoe, Steve Oda and Sarala Dandekar. $50 donation. 6:30 p.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku. 575-9390.

Jet-Set Gala - Friday, Jul 11. Big Brothers/Big Sisters of Maui’s annual luxury gala fund raiser. Visit www.bbbsmaui.org for ticket info. 6:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort, Wailea. 249-9754 x210.

Once on This Island - Fri, Sat & Sun, Jul 11-13.

What do you get when you mix the fantasy storyline of The Little Mermaid with the star-crossed lovers situation from Romeo and Juliet and set the whole thing on a lush, tropical island in the Caribbean? You get this original and creative theatrical performance that’s directed and choreographed

by Brian Swasey. $20. Fri & Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 5 p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku. 242-6969.

Summer Concerts - Sunday, Jul 13. Don’t miss three time Grammy winner and Hawaiian slack key master George Kahumoku, Jr. and a hula performance by Miss Hula O Na Keiki. Free. 11 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului.

Augie T - Thu, Jul 17. Which character will Oahu funny man Augie T arrive as this time? You’ll have to come to find out. $15 in advance, $20 at the door.

7 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 872-9307.

Israel Vibrations - Fri, Jul 18. Jamaican reggae harmony group has been recording powerful albums since 1977 and opened shows for Bob Marley in Kingston. They’ve put in some serious time on the reggae scene and their inspirational roots reggae shows are always polished and high energy. This time they’ll be backed by dub group Roots Radics Tickets: $30 in advance, $35 at the door. 6 p.m. On the Lawn, MACC. 242-7469.

Summer Melee - Sat, Jul 19. A massive hip-hop event featuring Kaba Modern and the Jabbawockeez and old-school divas Lisa Lisa and Angel, plus the first ever Maui vs Oahu B-boy showdown. Tickets: $37 in advance, $45 at the door. . 6:30 p.m. Events Lawn, MACC. 242-7469.

70s Soul Jam - Mon, Jul 21. Get a little bit of soul at this old-time party with the Stylistics, the ChiLites and Three Degrees. Tickets: $35, $49. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Brian Evans - Sat, Jul 26. Big-band crooner Evans is coming with original material from his new album that includes an (unlikely) duet with Kelly Osbourne.

Tickets: $57, $47, $37. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

STAGE

Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis.

Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao. 573-2424.

Growing Pains - Join a community forum on growth in South Maui. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m.

Lokelani Intermediate School, Kihei. 268-0303.

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Nine Queens.

9:30 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

Bare Essential Theater - Monday. Come for an entertaining reading of Joseph Kesselring’s comedic drama Arsenic and Old Lace about the crazy, dysfunctional family of Mortimer Brewster.

Free. 6:30 p.m. Iao Theater, Wailuku. 244-8680.

Calling All Readers - Mon-Fri. Want to read for Maui On Stageís Bare Essential Theater? Roles are announced at monthly readings and scripts are given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23.

EVENTS THURSDAY, JUL 10

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

When You Are Engulfed In Flames David Sedaris [BOOK] I was introduced to David Sedaris by my mom, via his novel “Me Talk Pretty One Day.” From then, I was hooked. My mom, like many things involving me, regrets it. While the previous entries were proactive in their selfdestruction, Sedaris takes a stoned slacker’s mentality to life. That is to say, he wanders outside a little bit, grabs a couple of snacks then seemingly forgets what he was doing in the first place. In his sixth novel, Sedaris’ dry wit and talent for self-deprecation steals the spotlight.

Think you’re having a bad day? Imagine how Sedaris felt when he tried to quit smoking…in Tokyo. Upset with all the restrictions on plane travel? Sedaris will remind you of true mortification when he recounts the time his accidentally spit a lozenge onto the lap of a sleeping, fellow traveler’s lap.

Bad days are always better when you put them in perspective. MTW

TROPICAL LATIN DANCE MUSIC with Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo

FRIDAY JULY 11, 10PM

$10 COVER

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

21

DA KINECALENDAR Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Sugar cube, 11 a.m.; Dazzling daisies, 3 p.m.; Hawaiian quilt, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

FRIDAY, JUL 11 Crafts and Social Day - Have some summer fun and get busy creating things. $4. 9-11:30 a.m.

Kaunoa Senior Center, Waikapu. 270-7308.

Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 573-2424.

Job Club - Get help preparing resumes, contacting prospective employers and interviewing. Free.

3-5 p.m. Job Connections of Maui. 871-4143.

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 3:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Obon Festival - Come for a service, Bon Odori, food and fun. Free. 6 p.m. Paia Manokuju Mission. 579-8051.

Producer’s Night - Akaku Community Television invites all current and prospective independent producers to view the documentary Visions of Light which explores more the cinematography of more than 100 films. Free. 6 p.m. Akaku: Maui Communtiy Television studio, Kahului. 871-5554.

Aloha Friday Concert - Listen to some traditional Hawaiian music in a relaxed atmosphere. $10.

7 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 872-9307.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Charm bracelet, 11 a.m.; Bouquet ring, 3 p.m.; Wire wrapping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

SATURDAY, JUL 12 Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth some totally awesome treasure at a random flea market. This might be a good place to start. Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene Ave., Kahului. 877-3100.

King K Rummage Sale - A fund raiser for the Quarterbacks Club. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. King Kekaulike High, Pukalani. 573-8710.

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Cheer Babes Rummage Sale - Find some useful items and unlikely treasures. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Maui Waena Intermediate School, Kahului. 870-3440.

Habitat for Humanity - Spend a few hours helping a family in need get secure shelter. 9 a.m.

Call for details. 893-0334.

Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m.

Maui Waena School.

Food Drive - Rotary of Maui and Kula AARP food drive to benefit the Maui Food Bank. 9 a.m.-5 p.m.

Pukalani Foodland.

Party and Eat Healthy - HMSA’s Eat Healthy Hoolaulea will have information from various health organizations, entertainment and prizes. Free. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Lush Grand Opening - Get gorgeous at Lahaina’s newest natural cosmetic store at the grand opening, with product demos, free goody bags, giveaways and contests. 12-3 p.m. 713 Front Street, Lahaina. 661-1199.

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Reading Music - Meet and listen to guitar master Henry Kaleialoha Allen and get a signed copy of his book How to Play the Hawaiian Steel Guitar. Free. 12 p.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

Pickin’ in the Park - Come to play some bluegrass and folk music with other pickin’ enthusiasts.

4 p.m. Kalama Park, Kihei. 283-7800.

Night Racing - Maui Go Cart Association dares you to see if you have what it takes to win. 4:45 p.m.

Maui Motor Sports Park, Puunene. 873-8363.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Basic earring, 11 a.m.; Quick cluster, 3 p.m.; Silk knotting, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

SUNDAY, JUL 13 Senior Line Dancing - Line dance lessons for people 55 or better. 8:30-10 a.m. Kaunoa Senior Center, Sprecklesville. 270-7313.

Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritual essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient high-

spiritual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St., Wailuku. 244-4103.

Couples Investment Club - Learn about building your retirement nest egg with other moneysavvy couples. 12 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249.

Hula Show - Get a taste of Hawaiian history and culture. Free. 1 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 877-8952.

Israeli Dance - Learn traditional and modern International and Israeli dances. Free. 4:30-6 p.m.

Grace Church, Kulu. 264-5214.

Line Dancing - Practice your tush push ya’ll and come on down for some line dancing by the Maui Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m.

Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Learn basic crimping methods, 11 a.m.; Wire wrapping: 2 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

MONDAY, JUL 14 Nickel Matinee - It doesn’t get any cheaper than this. Five cent movies, 25 cent hot dogs, 50 cent candy and drinks. Matinee is Blue Hawaii starring Elvis Presley. 9:30 a.m.-12 p.m. West Maui Senior Center. 661-9432.

Maui Camera Club - Meet other shutterbugs like yourself at this monthly meeting. 6 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 242-1003.

Pipe Up - No experience is needed for drummers and bagpipers at these open, free lesson and practices for the Isle of Maui Pipe Band. 6 p.m. Call for Direction. 876-0154.

Women Helping Women - A support group for women affected by domestic violence. 6 p.m.

Kihei, call for details. 242-0775.

High Hopes Square Dance Club - A place for beginners to pick up some steps and seasoned square dancers to show off their moves. Free. 7 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

Free Beading Classes - Learn new skills and be creative. Hawaiian quilt, 11 a.m.; Charm bracelet; 3 p.m.; Basic earrings, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

TUESDAY, JUL 15 LOOKING FOR

GIRLS

IN KAHULUI?

$2

$2 PORK SLIDERS $2 PRIMO ON TAP $3 LONGBOARD LAGERS

LIVE MUSIC 11 FRIDaARaYbbJitU&LY Kanoa Jessic 8pm from GOMEGA 5-

Domestic Beer Monday

SATURDAY KENNY JULY 12 ROBERTS 5-8PM SUNDAY TREVOR JULY 13 JONES 12:30-3:30

& Tuesday

• Maui’s Most Beautiful Girls • The Greatest Pu-Pus • New Faces & Management • Maui’s Hottest Nights!

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM

• $2 Domestic Pints • $4 Premium Pints • $2.50 Wells • $3.00 Mai Tais & Margaritas

DIANE’S Club

SPORTS BAR KARAOKE 350 HOOHANA ST. • KAHULUI Next to Oceanic Cable

871-2182

Happy Hour 2-7PM OPEN 2PM-2AM 7 DAYS A WEEK

OCEANFRONT in Maalaea Harbor Shops lower level overlooking Maalaea harbor right next to the Aquariom & below the Pacific Whale Foundation

CALL 205-8778 AND ASK ABOUT FREE TRANSPORTATION TO AND FROM CLUB DIANE!

22

JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

243-2286

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30 p.m. 669-6271.

Singles Investment Club - Learn about investing with other like minded singles. 5:30 p.m. Cary & Eddie’s Hideaway, Kahului. 579-9249.

Ukulele Lessons - Learn some strumming techniques to impress you friends with. Free. 5:45 p.m.

Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-5304.

Folk Dancing - Shake it folk style with the Maui Israeli Fold Dancing group. Free. . 8 p.m. Jewish Congregation of Maui, Kihei. 280-1051.

Speed Dating - Sit down for a round of threeminute dates. Who knows, you could find true love... or at least someone you might want to spend a whole second date with. Registration: $5. 8 p.m.

Wow-Wee Maui Kava Bar & Grill, Kahului. 871-1414.

Kihei Community Association - Learn about protecting Maui’s coral reefs. 6 p.m., Community Center on Lipoa, Kihei, 879-5390.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Bouquet ring, 11 a.m.; Sugar cube, 3 p.m.; Basic crimping, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

Toastmasters - Perfect your public speaking skills in this community club. 9 a.m., Kapalua Land Co. training center, 665-5485; 6 p.m., St. Theresa Church, Kihei, 298-3966.

WEDNESDAY, JUL 16 Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal, CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Makawao. 572-2424.

Shakin’ Keiki - Come see little hula dancers in adorable outfits doing the cultural dance of their ancestors. Free. 2:30 p.m. Lahaina Center, 900 Front St. 667-9216.

Soroptimists of Maui Meeting - Visitors are welcome at this meeting of business and professional women that’s dedicated to improving the lives of women and girls in our community. 4:30 p.m. Hale Mahaolu Elima Community Hall, Kahului. 264-1775.

Learn Hawaiian - Get information on Hawaiian language classes for adults and kids Halau Ke`alaokamaike. Contact kealaokamaile

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

Free Beading Classes - Have fun and make something beautiful. Quick cluster, 11 a.m.; Silk knotting, 3 p.m.; Basic earring, 6 p.m. Maui Bead Shack, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 873-8080.

KEIKI Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 289-5050.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

Sing Along with Uncle Wayne - Every Fri & Sat. Bring the keiki for a fun time with Uncle Wayne Watkins and his guitar. Free. Fri - Kihei Public Library, 10:30 a.m., 875-6833; Wailuku Public Library, 2 p.m., 243-5766; Kahului Public Library, 4 p.m., 873-3097.

Sat - Lahaina Public Library, 11 a.m., 662-3950; Makawao Public Library, 3 p.m., 573-8785.

Saturday Stories - Sat. Bring the kids down to Lahaina’s biggest bookstore for stories and special events.

Free. 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1307.

Making Magic - Sat. Author Sharon Mosely and illustrator Maya Mosely will be discussing the book What is Magic, for children ages five to nine. Free.

2 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. & Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 9 a.m.-12. TUE - Kehekili Park Terrace, Wailuku, 3-5 p.m. WED - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9 a.m.-12 p.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m.; Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. FRI - Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111.

Summer Youth Center - Mon-Fri. A place where the kids (ages 9-18) can stay busy learning, playing and socializing while you’re at work. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Hui Malama Youth Center, Wailuku. 242-9730.

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 712. Free. 2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-5313.

Kids Love Stories - Tue. So bring them down to listen at Lahaina’s biggest bookstore. Free. 10-10:30 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sports-specific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 244-4656.

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Hekili Multimedia Program - Every Wed, Fri & Sat. Kids get access to high-end multimedia equipment and instruction on recording music, mixing beats and loops, producing movies and Web pages. Free. Various times. Paia Youth & Cultural Center. 579-8354.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walk-in basis.

Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center. 984-8260.

LECTURE Business Class Intro - Thu. Learn the basics of MEO’s Core Four Business Plan classes. Free. 6 p.m. Maui Economic Opportunity Family Center, Wailuku. 249-2990.

New Product Marketing - Thu. Learn the basics of getting your new product on the shelves from marketing consultant Steve Rose. Free. Noon1:30 p.m. Maui County Business Resourse Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247.

Weekend College Info - Thu. Get information on this education program for working adults from Maui Community College. 5:30 p.m. MCC Ka`a`ika Room 109. 984-3297.

Campaign Finance Law - Fri. For prospective candidates and people who want to learn the system. Free. 8:30 a.m.-2 p.m. State Office Building, Wailuku. 586-0285.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 07/10

Friday 07/11

Saturday 07/12

Sunday 07/13

Monday 07/14– Wednesday 07/16

Estee Graham No cover, 9pm

Call for details No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith Band No cover, 10pm

Call for details No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Blu Sol, 9:30pm; TUE - Kahala & Indo of LAWA, 9pm ; WED - Bamboo Blues 9pm

Tattoo Art Exhibit w/ Lola Love; No cover

Sweetness Blues Dance No cover

MON - Open Talent Night

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

Rio Thing No cover

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S

Coyote Ugly $7, 10pm

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo $10, 10pm

DJ Jammim J, DJ Stylz, King Kekai; $10, 10pm

InnaVision $15, 10pm

P.O.R.T.A.L. $7, 10pm

Hawaiian Nights No cover

Salsa $7, 10pm

COMPADRES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

COOL CAT CAFE

Orin & Junior No cover

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

MON - Seawn Kama, 10pm; TUE - Karen B, No cover; WED - Wet n’ Wild Wahine Wednesday, $10, 9pm TUE - Sonny B.; WED - E Kolu, Kohomoa - $15, 10pm

Dave Carroll No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Peter D No cover

MON - Erin Smith; TUE -Jazz Night; WED -Howard Ahia, No cover

Trevor Jones No cover, 9pm

Off Tomorrow, No cover, 9pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 9pm

MON - Silky Ringo, TUE - Scott Baird; WED - Irish Music No cover, 9pm;

GIOVANI’S

Crunch Pups $5, 9pm

2291 Honoapiilani Hwy., 661-3160

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Silky Ringo 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Talk Veggies - Tue. Dr. William Harris, director of the Vegetarian Society of Hawaii and vegan for 40 years, will give a talk and powerpoint presentation on optimizing your health through diet. Free. 7 p.m.

Cameron Center, Wailuku. 298-8544.

Aging Eyes - Wed. Dr. Hugo Higa will discuss the main factors that lead to degenerating vision and blindness. Free. 9 a.m. & 5 p.m. MACC, Kahului. 947-2020.

WORKSHOPS Software Camps - Every Tue, Wed & Thu. High school students interested in Geological Information Systems are invited to attend this camp and get their hands on some seriously cool technology. $10.

MCC, Laulima Building, room 226. 875-2343.

ENVIRONMENT Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land Trust. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe`e. 244-5263.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?.

8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 249-8811.

MON - Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina, 10pm

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center. 870-0052.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices.

Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

SPORTS Golf Qualifier - Sat. Test your swing at the 2008 PGA McGladrey Team Championships qualifying event. Kahili Golf Course. 242-4653 to register.

Iao 10K - Sat. Make the treck from Wailuku’s Municipal Parking Lot to Iao Park and back. $20 for Valley Isle Road Runner Members, $25 for non members. 7 a.m. 575-9796.

Kids and Pit Bikes - Sun. A Maui Motocross event. 9 a.m. Maui Motor Sports Park, Puunene.

Junior Tennis Tournament - Every Sun, Mon, Fri & Sat. Practice those racket skills and compete. $15 for one event, $25 for two. 12 p.m. Kapalua Tennis Gardens. 665-9112.

Senior Softball - Sun. For those 55 and better.

10-11:30 a.m. War Memorial Ball Field.

Paddleboard Race - Sun. A 9.54 mile race from Maliko Gulch to Kahului Harbor. Entry fee $55. 1 p.m.

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. 984-8200.

Walk, Run, Train - Every Tue & Thu. Whether you’re a walker or a runner, you’ve got a group to train with.

5:30 p.m. Runner’s Paradise, Maui Mall. 877-5300.

Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the thought of dealing with sand is just too much to bear.

Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial, Pukalani, anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W, F, S 9 a.m4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30 p.m.

These hours can change due to events. To double check you can call, 270-6135.

ART Art that Moves - Mon-Sat. A unique group exhibit with pieces that reflect an artist’s interpretation of the spirit and concept of dance. M-Sa 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao. 5736000.

Dual Exibit - Daily. View the contemporary works of artists Jin Won Chang and Sharon Lindenfeld.

Paia Contemporary Gallery. 579-8444.

Thursday Night Specials!

Grey Goose $4 14oz Heineken $3

“Grab your Heine & Get

GOOSED at the Moose!”

844 FRONT ST.,

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles, DJ Jammin J & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm

LAHAINA • 667-7758 • 2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

Kite Collection - Mon-Fri. An exhibit of kites created by Maui artists along with artist Susan Robb and master kite makers Scott Skinner and Nobuhiko Yoshizumi. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Hui No`eau Visual Arts Center, Makawao. 572-6560.

Pet Photo Contest - Daily. Send photos of your cute and cuddly pets to the Maui Humane Society for use in their 2009 calendar. Deadline is July 15.

For rules and photo requirements visit www.mauihumanesociety.org or call 877-3680. $20 entry fee.

Photography Competition - Daily. Hi Art Magazine is seeking entries featuring portraits of the faces of Hawai`i. Competition open to all Hawai`i residents. Entries due by Sept 1. www.hiartmagazine.com for more info. .

Shark Shots - Daily. Do you have a killer photo of a shark from the ocean or an aquarium? Enter it in this shark photo contest. For more info visit www.mauioceancenter.com.

Viewpoints Exhibit - Daily. A dual exhibit showcasing the works of Suzy Papanikolas capturing her favorite halau and their practice of ancient Hawaiian culture, and Arabella Ark’s ceramic works representing early native Hawaiian artifacts. M-Sa 9 a.m.5 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Viewpoints Gallery, Makawao. 572-5979.

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro, 120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

Come try our NEW MENU!

& South Maui’s

Best Sunset View 2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

23

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Thursday 07/10

Friday 07/11

Saturday 07/12

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

Live Music No cover, 9pm

I’O JACQUES

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

Gina Martinelli No cover

MON - Da Hawaiians, 9pm

DJ El Gato & DJ Boomshot 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

Monday 07/14– Wednesday 07/16

Karen B No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8422

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Sunday 07/13

Vince Esquire No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

MON - Live Music, No cover El Vato Loco No cover

John Feary No cover

Jared & Dale No cover

MON - Jared, No cover; TUE - Da Hawaiians; No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover

Crunch Pups $5, 9pm

TUE - Kilohana, No cover

KIMOS 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

DJ Shocka Rock 10pm

Rampage 10pm

I Chalice $5, 10pm

LONGHI’S 888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd.

24

JULY 10, 2008

MON - Kanoa of Gomega, 10pm; TUE - DJ JP; 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups; 10pm

A Kettle Prime 10pm

Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall.

872-4320.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Poetry Team MauiSLAM! Fundraising Showcase - Fri. Enjoy a mini-slam every week as Maui’s best spoken word poets showcase their talents to raise money to send Team Maui SLAM! to the National Poetry Slam in Madison, Wisconsin this August.

Audience participation is encouraged and feedback is appreciated. Write your input on coaching cards and give comments on what needs work to help make the team stronger! By donation. 6-8 p.m.

Gallerie Ha, Wailuku. 268-4487.

Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. Free.

6 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 07/10

Friday 07/11

Saturday 07/12

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Shaggy No cover, 9pm

All Access & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm

DJ Mike 9pm

DJ Mike 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

DJ T-Money No cover, 9pm

LULU’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Blue Gecko 9pm

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

OCEANS BEACH & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

DJ Jay P $5, 10pm

OYSTER BAR 744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

DJ Durty No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith No cover, 9:30pm

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Randall Rospond & Tom Conway; WED - Willie K, $25

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Junior Guys;TUE - I-Chalice; WED - Open Mic; No cover, 10pm

DJ Nutmeg $5, 10pm

DJ Freeflow $8, 10pm

Ken and the Mango Pickers

MON - Karaoke; WED - DJ Nutmeg, No cover, 9pm

DJ Blast $10, 10pm

DJ Nutmeg $10, 9:30pm

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - DJ Boomshot; WED - ADD Twins; All no cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water, No cover, 9:30pm

MON - Karaoke, 9:30pm; TUE - The New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ Del Sol, No cover, 10pm

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Nexus No cover, 10pm Vince Esquire No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups No cover, 10pm Jerry Caires Jr. Band $3, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

WED - DJ T-Money, No cover, 9pm

Soft Touch No cover, 9pm

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR TIP-UPS TAVERN

MON - Na Hoku, Crazy Fingers, All Access, WED Karaoke, 9pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Monday 07/14– Wednesday 07/16

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

PACIFIC’O SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

Sunday 07/13

Kilohana No cover, 10pm

KARAOKE Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-1811.

Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555.

Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road, Kapalua, 669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town Center, 879-0004.

Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku, 249-0052.

Tip Up’s Tavern - Mon, 9:30 p.m., 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-9299.

Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Derrick Sebastian; Mon,“Derrick & Josh”; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Tom Cherry & Positive Energy; No cover, 10pm

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Sea House Restaurant - Early sets in the Sea Breeze Terrace: Thu & Fri, Brian Haia; Sa-Su, Lui Williams; Mon-Wen, Coelho Morrison. All sets 3:30-5 p.m. Thu, Albert Kaina and Kincade Basques; Fri, Kincade Basques; Sat, Coelho Morrison; Sun, Andrew Jauba; Mon & Tue Kincade Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

Morning Glories Organic Internet Cafe Fri, Elaine Ryan, 3-4 p.m.; Mon, Karen B, 1-2 p.m.137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; Thu Mark Johnstone, Fri, Classic Hawaiian with Jocelyn, all sets 6:30-8:30. Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 12:30 2:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS

SOUTH MAUI

WEST MAUI

Backstreet Cafe - Fri, Liz & Joanie; Sat, Steve Monroe, all sets 5:30-8:30 p.m. Sun, Nicky Campos, 10 a.m.-1 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd, 891-2595.

Longhi’s - Sat, acustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works.

All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei - Fri, Erin Smith; Sat, Anuhea; All sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Joyce & Gord, 5:30-8 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony; Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed, Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun, Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 Banyan Tree Restaraunt - Wed & Thu, Ranga Pae 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

Thu, Mon, Tue, Bobby and Ralph; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Sun, Fausto and Kawaika; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed,

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Fri, Ron Kuala’au. 6:15 p.m. , Sat Tarvin Makai 6:15 p.m.1237 L. Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774.

Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Thu, Haiku Hillbillys; Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire.

Sat, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844.

Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234 Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo. ■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

7:30-8:15 p.m.

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Jessica Armstrong at calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

25

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

27

28

JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SIGNLANGUAGE

CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Cancers are rarely early adopters. You’re happy to pick up a “new” gadget a year or three after it’s turned out to be a huge success, and you’re more likely to watch a trendy TV show once it’s come out on DVD. You’ve got enough going on without being concerned with what the hottest and newest thing might be, or wasting money and time on something that might turn out to be a bust. However, the opportunity before you is too good to pass up. Even though it’s hardly a sure thing, you need to jump on this one, or miss out entirely.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) If you’re given reason to second-guess yourself this week, heed it. Take another, much closer look at your choices and make sure that they’re the right ones. Generally, it’s best not to overthink things—usually your first guess is the best one. However, that’s not always true. Sometimes your initial impulse is very, very bad. Occasionally the universe even tosses you a little hint that you might be heading in the wrong direction. Ignore such an omen at your peril this week. It’s probably the only warning you’ll get before you make a terrible mistake.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) Sometimes there’s no way to get through a situation without hurting someone. Frequently, the alternative is hurting yourself instead, an option you often choose. However, that’s not possible here. You’ve got to find your way through a very tricky situation. While you should by all means still pursue the course that causes the least amount of pain for the fewest people, you need to accept now that there’s no perfect option. Someone’s going to suffer, no matter what. It’s better you choose who and try to minimize the damage than to just let things run their course—that would certainly be worse for everyone concerned.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) What’s this bullshit about keeping “the devil you know” around? You’ve got an opportunity to get rid of something or someone bad in your life and you’re wondering whether or not to take advantage of it?

Why? Because you’re worried that something worse might swoop in to take its place? That’s just lame.

It’s much, much more likely that something amazing—or at least tolerable—will fill the gap left behind by whoever’s currently playing Beelzebub in your world. You have an opportunity to figuratively throw him off the train, you take it. Don’t even think twice.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Imagine you’re crossing a tightrope over a deep, craggy chasm. The key here is to not lose your head.

Keep moving, and don’t look down. Take little cautious baby steps if you have to, but never, ever stop. If you do, you might have trouble getting going again, and the longer you stay perched in the middle of this precarious scenario, the more likely you’ll plummet and fall to your doom. You got yourself into this mess, but there’s point in kicking yourself about it, and trying to back out is likely to be even more calamitous than simply proceeding. Keep on trucking, my dear. Forward is the only direction left.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Many cultures have similar creatures in their mythical pantheons. Tales of unicorns, faeries, centaurs, sea monsters, prehistoric floods, alien visitations, and yeti can be found in cultures the world over. Shared genetic memory? Odd coincidence? Who knows? Similarly, you’re likely to discover that someone you know has a deep and intimate connection to your own personal mythology or faith, whether it’s a profound conviction that Jesus rocks, or that you’re Cleopatra reincarnated, or even that there’s simply nothing else besides this life. Because your beliefs are so specific and idiosyncratic, it’s unusual to find anyone who shares them. That alone makes this connection worth exploring.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Now that you have this new goal, you’re eager to start moving towards it, but hold your horses! You could do this willy-nilly and just dive right in. Knowing you, you would make steady progress, but you’d also make many mistakes along the way, because you’d encounter twists and turns that you might have been able to predict if you’d given it a bit more thought beforehand. Conversely, if you try to mentally map your route all the way to the end before you even take your first step, you’ll get tripped up by some of the things you simply can’t predict. This week, pursue the middle course. Don’t plan this thing to death, but do spend a little time sketching a loose course for yourself—the goal is to completely avoid the surprises you can predict, and gracefully roll with the ones you can’t.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Parents often lie to, mislead or conceal information from their children. Their intentions are good, but convincing your kid that Santa Claus is real may not actually be the best plan. It’s a blow for kids to discover there is no tooth fairy, babies come from sex, and that people die. Those children I’ve known whose parents were universally frank with them have developed into personable, curious, and intelligent people. Those whose folks tried to shelter them from life’s harsh realities sometimes have more trouble adjusting to them once their parents can’t protect them anymore. Whether it’s a kid or a companion, is it possible you’re being more protective than you need to be? Especially if it involves deception of any kind, I think it’s time to stop trying to shield those you love from reality. They can, and should, handle it.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) I heard someone say, “It’s like taking a sleeping pill and a laxative at the same time,” and I thought, “Holy shit—that’s Pisces!” You have a couple of easily solvable problems but the timing and methods you’re applying are only going to compound the situation and ultimately make it worse. Think this through. Take one thing at a time and deal with that. Trying to cope with everything at once will overwhelm you and probably create a whole new set of problems. What’s the most pressing issue on your plate right now? Address and resolve that, before you even look at the next one down the list.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Sometimes your quickness to rush into action gets you into trouble or needlessly embarrasses you (later). This week that scenario is very likely. I wouldn’t dream of asking you to not address a problem— but would you consider holding off on doing so? Even an hour or two might do (though a day or two would be better). Sometimes these issues have ways of resolving themselves, or you may find that with a little time you can simply get over it without having to make a stink about it. Give yourself that time. If after 48 hours a fuss still seems necessary, by all means go make one.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) How far are you from the things that make you feel secure, rooted, and safe? I’m worried you may have strayed further than strictly wise, or necessary. Most water signs, for example, are comforted by proximity to the ocean, a lake, or a river (although Pisces can often make do with a nice deep bathtub).

What would give you earthy Bulls solace or strength in trying times? This week, if you can figure out what it is, you should have a chance of bringing yourself closer to a fount of strength and contentment. I can’t imagine why you’d pass that up.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Let’s not get too hung up on “normal.” It might still be weird to see a guy in a skirt here in the States, but in Scotland it’d be perfectly normal to see men in kilts in certain contexts. While no one would bat an eyelash to see an American woman walking around in shorts and a tube-top, she could be imprisoned for such “lewdness” in more conservative cultures. In other words, the concept of “normal” is very arbitrary and can change from year to year or as you cross international borders. Please don’t be shallow or shortsighted enough to let it keep you from getting to know someone. In fact, the weirder you think they are, the more you’d probably ultimately get out of knowing them.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

29

RESTLESSNATIVE

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

The Big Three-Oh

Mind Body

Mind Body Spirit

Spirit

A G U I D E F O R H E A LT H Y L I V I N G

I used to roll my eyes whenever I heard someone say “Thirty is the new 20,” but now that I think about it, I ‘m pretty sure they may have been onto something.

Yes, it’s my birthday. Today I am a whopping 30 years old. For some reason, I had this feeling like I’d be in my twenties forever.

The decade went by really quick. In fact, it’s kind of scary to think that in another short decade I’ll be 40. Not to offend any of my fantastic and hip friends that have crossed that bridge, but it’s kind of a depressing thought.

Not as depressing though, as when my hubby completely forgot that it was my birthday this morning. Hello? It’s a major birthday! Not just that, but there was a ginormous present bag on the kitchen table that my mom had given my last night that proclaimed (in large neon letters) “HAPPY BIRTHDAY.” That and there was leftover birthday cake in the fridge which he had to physically move to get to the half-and-half for his coffee.

In his defense, we have a lot going on right now and he was up pretty early grinding away at tasks that needed to get done before the week’s up, but still…

In fact, when he called me as I was taking the stairs up to my office space to finally wish me a happy birthday, I was ready to let my hurt feelings go and start feeling festive. But then he did the unthinkable. He wished me a happy birthday and then proceeded to bitch at me that he was so busy this morning doing stuff that I shouldn’t even have hurt feelings and turned it around on me. Like I should feel shitty for feeling shitty.

As if!

Granted, by the time this column goes to print, I’m totally sure that he’ll have made up for being a royal jerk-off and I’ll feel really bad that I roasted him in print. But then again, maybe not.

The bottom line isn’t so much that the hubby pulled a Homer, but that I’m probably being overly sensitive and suffering the proverbial “Birthday Meltdown.”

Just the other day, Jessica (Maui Time’s Calendar Editor) and I were talking about said meltdowns. She had one at her B.D. party just a few weeks ago. Then again, massive amounts of alcohol and a baby kitten were involved which makes it really understandable.

Me on the other hand? I’m just pissed off about entering another decade and highly sensitive about it. Maybe it stems from the fact that birthdays were always a really big thing in my household and were always super-duper fun. It’s kind of hard to beat one of Mom’s birthday bashes.

I could go on and moan and groan like the crabby old woman I’ve become; but alas, my aching arthritic fingers are tired of pecking at the keyboard.

Someone get me a shot of Metamucil and some gray-coverage dye. It’s time to party in here.

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JULY 10, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Mind Body

Mind Body Spirit

Spirit

A G U I D E F O R H E A LT H Y L I V I N G EN! OP W NO

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

JULY 10, 2008

31

back

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