12.45 Strange Fruit, Thursday, April 30, 2009, Volume 12, Issue 45, MauiTime

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APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

180 Dickenson Street • Lahaina

CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 45

4 MAUI COUNTY THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What scientific breakthrough do you hope to see in your lifetime?

Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com Non-invasive colonoscopies Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com Self-absorption vaccine Proofreader: Heather Nicholson Public space travel Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Beau Ewan, Doug Levin, Jared Libby, Greg Mebel, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower Cool aliens Art Director: Brittany Shaw (808) 269-2911 / brittany@mauitime.com Flying pigs Graphic Designer: Kellee LaVars Cure for stupidity Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Robot gladiators General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com Time travel Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com

PREMIERING THIS SAT NIGHT AT MAUI’S ONLY TRUE NIGHTCLUB

A “lonely Republican” defends torture in Editor’s Inbox. Doug Levin explains why now is actually a good time to buy a home. Eh Brah! throws the book at some science snatchers. A girl gets popped for possession of birth control pills in News of the Weird.

Click of the Week says swine flu has been here before. Rob Report heads to Oahu to oppose fossil fuel-burning power plants. Big Island cows get picked off by snipers in Coconut Wireless.

PRESENTS

10 FEATURE STORY Whether you think they’re a modern marvel or science gone wrong, GMO foods are everywhere. In fact, you might be eating one right now. Heather Nicholson investigates.

13 ONO KINE GRINDS

New Haiku joint Max serves up excellent pizza and other goodies...and they deliver!

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14 Take 5 15 BOM Ballot

19 MUSIC SCENE

Kate grooves poolside with the mysterious and multi-talented Karen B.

A NEW SOCIAL GATHERING FOR THE 23 & OVER SOPHISTICATED CROWD

Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com Cyborg wars

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited.

Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

20 FILM

Barry Wurst II says the lame thriller Obsessed is nothing to get obsessed about.

21 Movie Listings

22 DA KINE CALENDAR

Kate previews the cream of the entertainment crop, including a Spaceballs screening and Cinco de Mayo festivities.

24 Calendar & Grid

29 BACK PAGES

Sign Language says Cancer needs to quit being such a crybaby.

30 Classifieds 31 Mind, Body, Spirit ON THE COVER: Design by Brittany Shaw

HAWAII’S PREMIERE DJS MIXING YOUR FAVORITE

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SPECIAL THANKS:

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

3

2ONE

EDITOR’SINBOX

KAMA‘AINA SPECIAL

for

GARBAGE… Re the Pacific Gyre garbage swirl: Is there no way to retrieve the plastic and reform it into usable products?

It seems hard to believe we would just let “it” continue to float out there and rely on mankind to do the right thing and curb use of plastics. We all know how wonderful we are at limits and moderation.

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K. Swartz, posted at mauitime.com

…GARBAGE…

The oldest relic of human industry is a bit of hemp fabric dating back to 8,000 BC

Let’s say you get the floating equipment to start the cleanup and you fill up a few barges—then what? You are going to cringe at this, everyone does at first. I suggest that inland Antarctica, in the mountains where nothing lives, are frozen valleys that would take centuries to fill. I know, I know, it makes me sick too. But where else on Earth can you put this stuff without affecting the living?

J.J. Stanton, posted at mauitime.com

…AND MORE GARBAGE This news is very depressing, and a bit scary, especially if we are consid-

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ering just “throwing it away” again in Antarctica for the next generations to solve this problem.

K. Wilson, posted at mauitime.com

IF YOU THOUGHT BEFORE YOU WROTE… Why do pedestrians and people who ride bikes and skateboards complain the most [Eh Brah!, April 23]? If you were in your car instead of walking, you wouldn’t be bitten by a dog. If you walked instead of skateboarded, you wouldn’t be ticketed. If you skateboarded instead of biked, you could carry your board in with you. If you drove instead of biked, you could park instead of whine.

Anonymous, posted at mauitime.com

TORTUROUS REASONING You asked how Obama releasing the CIA memos made us less safe [Coconut Wireless, April 23]. Let me enlighten you: Releasing the memos gave our enemies vital, previously classified information about what we may do to them if captured. This allows them to train and prepare. Also, and more damagingly, it created a public backlash led by the bleeding hearts that will now make using these methods, even in the proverbial “ticking time bomb” scenario, next to impossible. Safety comes with a price, but liberals won’t admit that. They want to have their cake and eat it too. You people have lived under a blanket of freedom and security for so long, you’ve forgotten what it takes to maintain that blanket. Sweet dreams.

Lonely Republican, Waikapu

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APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

I have a question for the lady who said the thing about the condoms and the beer [Overheard, April 23]: You do know when you talk on your cell people can still hear you right? I sincerely hope she reads Maui Time, even though I doubt seeing her asinine quote in print will do anything to cure her foot-inmouth disease.

Danielle, Kihei

CAR OUT Here’s a radical idea for your next Green Issue: no more cars! Just stop making them right now. People will figure out how to survive. Small communities, localized food production. That’s the future. Sounds nuts, but great ideas always do.

Environaut, Maui, Planet Earth, Milky Way Galaxy

MAUICOUNTY

BY DOUG LEVIN DOUG@MAUITIME.COM

House warming It may seem crazy, but now is a great time to buy a home—if you can wning a home. Like having children, it is both one of the most inspirational and confining steps a person can take.

Take today for example. As I sit here working on this week’s piece about home ownership, I’m almost overwhelmed with the list of things that need to be done around here. (Oh well,

O

legal notices on April 17. That sad situation isn’t likely to improve for a while. However, the silver lining is that there’s a ready inventory of below-market homes to purchase during a period when there are a lot of other incentives to encourage homeownership.

One of those incentives is from the IRS (of all entities!). They’ll give you an $8,000 refundable tax credit if you’re a first-time

affordable homes to Maui residents.

They have regular homebuyer seminars, which you have to attend before being allowed to buy one of their homes, but have some rehabbed homes available now and will shortly be offering a community of new homes built with prefabricated parts that are much cheaper than prevailing options.

When you buy a house you’re making a commitment to a community and gaining a place—perhaps for the first time since you moved out on Mom and Dad—to call home.

Photo by Paul W.

One of the many joys... they’re not happening today). Yet at the same time there is a sense of fulfillment that is perhaps best expressed by Robert Fulghum from his surprisingly out-of-print book All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten: “Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.”

When you buy a house you’re making a commitment to a community and gaining a place—perhaps for the first time since you moved out on Mom and Dad—to call home, which matures and supports you in ways you won’t realize until later.

So why is this a great time to buy a home?

Well, if you’re ready, the best time to buy a home is during one of the regular down cycles in real estate, and this is definitely one of those. Just for example, The Maui News had 13 foreclosure

homebuyer before December 1, 2009. If you qualify, once your home has closed you can file either an amended 2008 return or your 2009 return to get your $8,000. Unlike the program in 2008, you don’t have to repay this credit if you live in the home for three years. This is probably a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity, so don’t dawdle.

The taxman provides another benefit to home ownership: you can deduct your property taxes and mortgage interest.

This is a substantial savings since rent is never deductible but the vast majority of your mortgage payments will be. Thus, a $2,000-a-month mortgage payment would reduce your federal and state taxable income by approximately $24,000 a year. In the 15 percent federal and 6 percent state tax brackets that’s $420 a month less taxes, which helps you make mortgage payments that will probably be higher than rent. Just remember to adjust your withholding when the home closes.

Additionally, the nonprofit Na Hale O Maui (nahaleomaui.org) is offering

Current low interest rates also make home ownership easier. A $2,000-amonth mortgage payment bought a $316,000 home at 6.5 percent a year-anda-half ago, but today it buys a $394,000 home at 4.5 percent. Although the current interest rate is hovering around 5 percent as this goes to press, you can pay additional points to buy your rate down to the 4.5 percent range.

Before you go shopping, do some relatively simple math. Take your gross annual income before taxes and multiply it by 30 percent. Now divide that again by 12 months. Although it varies by loan type, that’s generally considered to be the monthly payment you can make on your home. Now, use a very crude rule of thumb to convert that into how much home you can afford: for a 4.5 percent rate, multiply it by 197; for a 5 percent rate, multiply it by 186. This will give you the loan amount, which unless you have a large down payment, should probably be considered the high end of your buying power. Although

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you technically need a financial calculator, this simple ratio of house purchase to monthly payment works (the 197 factor is the $394,000 home divided by the $2,000 monthly payment from the prior example).

Here are a few other important things to keep in mind. First, you’re going to need to have good credit—the downfall of subprime lending also made buying a home with a marginal credit score almost impossible. Second, you’ll need at least 5 percent down for an FHA loan. Finally, your other credit payments will count against you.

While you can use 30 percent for your home, you can generally have only 35 percent of your income for total debt service, so if your other debts exceed 5 percent of your income, they’ll start to chip away at how much home you can buy.

Make the effort and see if it’s feasible for you. You might be surprised. Then you can spend your Saturday’s mowing the damn lawn, too. MTW

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EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

SATURDAYS

THROUGH 6/30/09

10% OF ALL SALES

ehbrah@mauitime.com

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To the low-life petty thieves who tried to steal our teaching equipment: wut da hell cuz! You probably grabbed our backpack while you were hiking hoping you were gonna be able to get your fix, but that was your mistake. What you took was scientific equipment used to teach the kama‘aina about the quality of stream water.

Nothing valuable to you, of course, so you threw it all over the place as you fled. No worries, we found some of the stuff...and those kids can try again next year when they come on a field trip with us. Besides we saw you, we have your picture and we will call the cops upon sight of you on our property again. So come swim again anytime and face your pilau karma. In this sacred ‘aina, nothing goes unrewarded.

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APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD THAT EXPLAINS BJÖRK When Alcoa Inc. prepared to build an aluminum smelting plant in Iceland in 2004, the government forced it to hire an expert to assure that none of the country’s legendary “hidden people” lived underneath the property. The elf-like goblins provoke genuine apprehensiveness in many of the country’s 300,000 natives (who are all, reputedly, related by blood). An Alcoa spokesman told Vanity Fair writer Michael Lewis (for an April 2009 report) that the inspection (which delayed construction for six months) was costly but necessary: “[W]e couldn’t be in the position of acknowledging the existence of hidden people.”

LEAF THEM ALONE Sega Toys Co. reported in January that, in just three months, it had sold 50,000 units of the Pekoppa, a “plant” consisting of leaves and branches that flutter when “spoken to,” the success of which the company attributes to the epic loneliness of many Japanese.

PEDOPHILING SYSTEM Advocates for children complained in April that Sweden’s national library, acting on a standing order to archive copies of all domestic publications, has been gathering books and magazines of child pornography from the years 1971-1980, when it was legal, and, as libraries do, lending them out.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

BY THE

NUMBERS

cling, but Americans’ demand for multiply tissue requires virgin wood for 98 percent of the product. The activists claim that U.S. toilet paper imposes more costs on the planet than do gasguzzling cars.

4

BIRTH CONTROL PROBLEMS

Number of new cars registered on Maui in the first quarter of 2008

(1) A group of an estimated 10,000 believers is attempting to reverse American Christianity’s declining birthrate by shunning all contraception, in obedience to Psalm 127, which likens the advantage of big families to having a “quiver” full of “arrows” (and which calls itself the QuiverFull movement). “God opens and closes the womb,” explained one advocate to National Public Radio in March, noting that in her own church in Shelby, Mich., the mothers average 8.5 children. “The womb is such a powerful weapon...against the enemy,” she said.

“The more children I have, the more ability I have to impact the world for God.” (2) A high school student in Oakton, Va., was suspended for two weeks in March when she inadvertently brought to school her birth-control pill (the prescription for which was approved by her mother). It was only then (with two weeks off to research it) that the girl discovered that, in comparison, county rules required only one week’s suspension for bringing heroin to school. Officials told the Washington Post that birth-control pills are particularly objectionable because they countermand the school system’s “abstinence-only” sex education classes.

Rank of Lanai City on a list of “America’s Most Endangered Historic Places”

1,482 789 Number registered in the first quarter of 2009, the biggest decline among the neighbor islands

83 cents Amount full-time female workers in Hawaii earn for every dollar earned by their male counterparts, the second-smallest disparity in the country

45 years Maximum prison sentence John Dimitrion, former CEO of the Oahu firm Mortgage Alliance, could receive after pleading guilty to fraud this week Sources: National Trust for istoric Preservation, Hawaii Auto Dealers Association, American Association of University Women, Pacific Business News

STEREOTYPE A PERSONALITY WIPED OUT The Natural Resources Defense Council and Greenpeace commenced campaigns in February critical of the peculiar preference of Americans for ultra-soft or quilted toilet paper. In less-picky Europe and Latin America, 40 percent of toilet paper is produced by recy-

‘CLICK’ OF

Joseph Milano, owner of Goomba’s Pizza in Palm Coast, Fla., was in the federal witness protection program for squealing on Bonanno crime family members in New York but lost his anonymity in January when he was arrested for allegedly pistol-whipping a customer who had dared to criticize his calzone. MTW

THE WEEK

Swine flu may be the public health scare du jour, but it’s not a new kid on the menacing disease block. Witness these too-campy-tobe-true 1970s PSAs that warn against the dangers of the pig-borne illness and implore viewers to “get the shot.”

(Incidentally, that outbreak never materialized.) If the spots prove anything it’s that, while production values and racial stereotypes change with time, overcooked fearmongering stays comfortingly, maddeningly consistent. -JS Find it at… youtube.com/watch?v=ASibLqwVbsk&feature=player_embedded

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

7

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Oils well that ends well Blue Planet leads the charge to ban new fossil fuel electric plants he e-mail alert from Blue Planet Foundation announced a “Rally for Clean Energy” at the State Capitol, noon on Monday.

“Music by Henry Kapono, free Tshirts, 100 percent solar powered.”

Hey, I thought, this is my kind of rally.

Blue Planet (blueplanetfoundation.org), the upstart nonprofit with the ambitious goal of making Hawaii a role model for energy independence within 10 years, has stepped to the forefront of Hawaii’s clean energy movement in a very short time.

Founder Henk Rogers, Tetris video game designer and entrepreneur, tapped the Sierra Club’s top environmental lobbyist, Jeff Mikulina, to be Blue Planet’s executive director.

Mikulina’s accomplishments over the past decade include Hawaii’s Bottle Redemption Bill, the Legacy Lands Act to fund purchase of conservation lands and easements and last year’s Solar Rooftops bill, mandating solar hot water systems on all new residences starting in 2010.

With the state legislature in its final week of deliberation, it’s crunch time on final lobbying efforts, including bills designed to guide our energy future.

One of the boldest pieces of legislation, House Bill 1464, would prohibit construction of new fossil fuel-burning power plants—that is, those running on imported coal or oil. Hawaii is already 92 percent dependent on these fuel sources for electricity, resulting in some $6 billion leaving the state last year alone.

But it’s apparent that HB1464 is threatened by political foot-dragging and bickering over specific language, which ultimately could render the measure impotent. Amendments to the original bill would exempt Kauai— where a new electric plant is already planned—until 2015 and would open the door for blends of token amounts of renewable fuels along with fossil fuels.

“It’s premature to cut off any of our options,” said Rep. Hermina Morita (DHanalei-Kapaa), chairwoman of the Energy & Environmental Protection Committee, quoted in an Associated Press article. “I’m not sure you want such a definitive statement in statute, where we wouldn’t have very much flexibility.”

That was all I needed to hear.

Determined to lend my voice to the renewable energy cause, I booked my flight, ready to be part of a historic effort that could inspire communities and policymakers far beyond Hawaii’s shores.

Photo by Rob Parsons

T

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APRIL 30, 2009

ulolo, our big white cat, hopped on my chest around 5am, serving as my wake-up call. As birds and roosters awakened and responded to the morning light, I began writing testimony on Maui Tomorrow letterhead: Maui leads the state in renewable energy integration, with 9 percent of our energy coming from wind, and another 7 percent from biomass, burning bagasse at HC&S’s sugar mill. However, few people know that along with 100,000 tons of bagasse burned yearly, the plantation also burns 60,000 tons of coal.

Maui Electric’s plants burn more than 1.5 million gallons of petroleum weekly, some 75 million gallons yearly. In November 2007, MECO president Ed Reinhardt told Energy Expo attendees they intend to construct a new diesel burning generation facility at their Maui Waena site in 2012.

There is no rational reason for increasing Hawaii’s capacity for consumption of imported fossil fuel, and we should also include the idea of importing palm oil

K

It’s a true blue movement.

They donned blue T-shirts proclaiming, “I stand for clean energy,” with wind turbines pictured on the front and a forlorn oil drum on the back. Demonstrators signed a dozen shirts, to be presented to lawmakers on the joint House-Senate conference committee.

After a few rousing songs by Kapono, Mikulina stepped to the podium. “Today,” he declared, “we are taking a stand for clean

“Some say it’s premature to ban coal and oil. We say we’re already a few decades late.”

- Jeff Mikulina, executive director, Blue Planet biodiesel under the preposterous guise that it is in any way sustainable. rriving at the state Capitol around mid-morning, I discovered another eco-effort underway. The young, sustainability-focused organization Kanu Hawaii (kanuhawaii.org) was offering compact fluorescent light bulbs to all 78 lawmakers, calculating that each bulb could save the user $20 in electricity each year, while preventing 190 pounds of greenhouse gas emissions.

Kanu volunteers were also checking the tires on each vehicle in the parking garage, leaving notes on the windshield with optimal tire pressure. For every set of under-inflated tires they help to correct, a full tank of gas could be saved in a year’s time, and another 220 pounds of carbon dioxide emissions.

Soon, Blue Planet staff and volunteers arrived to set up for the midday rally. Two Sunetric photovoltaic panels were placed in a sunny spot inside the Capitol’s rotunda, powering the PA system for musician Henry Kapono and the event speakers.

Many sign-toting University of Hawaii students showed up, some by bicycle.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

energy. We stand for no new fossil fuel, a future based on clean, indigenous power and safe, affordable, predictable energy that doesn’t change our climate or oceans.”

Mikulina noted that we now have 2,000 megawatts of fossil fuel-based electrical generation in Hawaii. “Some say it is premature to ban coal and oil,” he stated. “We say we’re already a few decades late.”

Henk Rogers clarified that his goal is not merely to end Hawaii’s use of fossil fuels, but all carbon-based fuels. He noted that insertion of the word “solely” into the legislation allowed a huge loophole for blended fossil and renewable fuels and that the measure could become an exercise in futility. ov. Lingle stepped to the podium to express her support for the ban of new fossil fuel plants. “I’m with you here today,” she said, “to call on our legislature to make this day historic.” She noted that even Hawaiian Electric Company was on record supporting the measure.

“This makes the difference between whether our economy grows or stays constricted,” Lingle declared. “It makes economic sense, environmental sense and energy security sense.”

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As the rally dissipated, many UH students returned to afternoon classes. A couple dozen headed upstairs to the conference committee deliberation on HB1464. However, as soon as the blue Tshirts filled the conference room, the conference chair pounded the gavel and deferred the measure until Wednesday, one day before the midnight deadline for final submission of all bills.

Mikulina led 20 or so students around to offices of a dozen lawmakers to present signed T-shirts, his laptop computer held in front of him with the list of conference committee members. I submitted my Maui Tomorrow letter to those still undecided in their support of a full fossil fuel ban: In 1519, the Spanish conquistador Cortes brought a fleet of ships and a small army to the shores of Mexico, to secure regions controlled by the Aztec Empire for Spanish colonization. Upon landing, Cortes set fire to his ships, so there could be no mistake about the task before them, and no turning back.

Similarly, it is time to take decisive measures for Hawaii’s energy future, and to do so without leaving a back door open, or straddling the fence between past wasteful practices and new sustainable potential. Your bold steps taken here today will likely be celebrated worldwide.

Coupled with a measure such as HB1271, to establish a clean energy fund through a per barrel surcharge on imported fuels, this action would be a boon to the local economy for renewable energy companies and home energy installations.

I ask you today to boldly, decisively set the course for Hawaii’s energy future by passing HB1464. This bill is not a perfect solution to the challenges before us, but will go a long way to achieving our goals for local, renewable energy production and conservation.

By the time this article is in the hands of Maui Time Weekly readers, state lawmakers will either have taken that bold, decisive step for Hawaii’s energy future or missed a golden opportunity. MTW

MAUICOUNTY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

line would be if there were any lines regarding corporate shenanigans). You and I can’t just waltz into Chevron with a self-serving political flier and place it up on the counter. Does the fact that Philip Morris’s products are carried by Chevron afford them some special privilege? If so, what if a company that made, say, a GMO-free product wanted to place fliers about the dangers of GMOs at the register? Would Chevron be cool with that? Probably not—but then GMO-free products don’t come with a huge, addicted customer base… Speaking of GMOs: they’re the subject of this week’s cover story by contributor Heather Nicholson, which is an informative read.

Though the piece is about legislation and other stuff, it necessarily mentions Monsanto and its Maui operations, the subject of a well-worth-digging-up June 2005 feature by former MTW editor Anthony Pignataro titled “Corn Pone.”

(Search the archives at mauitime.com.)

Interesting how the more things change, the more they don’t.

FRIDAY, APRIL 24 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 22 Each week, my inbox is inundated with solicitations and releases from various organizations. They run the gamut from the sincere to the silly to the downright strange. This one falls somewhere in the middle, but I mention it because I honestly wasn’t aware barbequing was in need of PR assistance.

Learn something new every day. “The Psychology of Grilling,” an apparently unironic e-mail from the Hawaii Cattleman’s Association, highlights the results of a study wherein “participants kept grilling diaries and talked about their sensory responses to grilling food, especially beef.” The shocking results? People like the smell of grilling beef. Also, the number one reason why people grill beef? I hope you’re sitting down. OK, don’t say I didn’t warn you: it “tastes good.”

THURSDAY, APRIL 23 A couple weeks ago, I (sort of) questioned the state and federal tax hikes that raised the cost of a pack of cigarettes by $1 in Hawaii. This being an opinion column in an independent newspaper, that was appropriate.

Here’s something that’s not appropriate: Philip Morris is distributing anti-cigarette tax fliers at gas stations and other places where tobacco is sold. I first saw one at the Wailuku Chevron, up by the cash register, which is some pretty prime real estate. It’s not that Phillip Morris doesn’t have the right to oppose these taxes (it would be foolish of them not to) but this is crossing the line (or at least where the

With the legislature looking to raise income taxes on the state’s highest earners (and Gov. Lingle threatening a veto), Hawaii’s anti-government crowd has broken out the big guns: Joe the Contractor. According to an item in today’s Honolulu Advertiser, an Oahu contractor named Joe Pandolfe who helped organize one of the April 15 “tea party” protests is being hailed by Hawaii Republicans as, you guessed it, an “average Joe.” Not unlike that other Joe the GOP co-opted for PR purposes, Pandolfe, according to the Advertiser, doesn’t actually make enough money to be hurt by the proposed tax hike, which would affect only the wealthiest 2.6 percent. But, you see, he plans to be rich, and he doesn’t like the idea of the government taxing his imaginary future income. “Once I make more money, now I can’t keep it,” he told the Advertiser. Folks, this is the dark side of the American Dream: it convinces members of the lower and middle classes that they, too, can (and will!) be wellheeled and powerful someday, to the point where they’ll fight for the interests of the affluent over and above their own.

It’s nothing new, of course—aristocrats have always gotten the commoners to do their dirty work.

SATURDAY, APRIL 25 Consumer alert: According to a Pacific Business News report, Hawaiian Telcom (which filed for bankruptcy protection late last year) wants the Public Utilities Commission off its back so it can stay “competitive” with rival communications providers that operate under federal oversight. Nobody’s saying the PUC is perfect

Call in the snipers. (at least I’m certainly not saying that), but does anyone still believe deregulation will end up serving the greater good?

Apparently yes, because the bill that would grant HawTel’s wish—SB603—is still very much alive as of this writing. Let me go on the record now, so I can break out the “I-told-you-so” later: if that bill passes, customers will pay.

SUNDAY, APRIL 26 I mean they’ll pay more than they already do.

MONDAY, APRIL 27 Cows—they’re craftier than we thought.

According to an AP report, “after exhausting other…eradication methods,” state officials have resorted to shooting feral cattle from helicopters on the Big Island.

(Must…resist…making…Palin…joke.) The cows (which, the AP story notes, “are not native to the islands”—gee, you don’t say) are being picked off by marksmen from Hawaii’s forestry department to make way for a koa forest that would help support endangered birds. That’s a laudable goal, but really, did you think you could just start shooting cows from helicopters without attracting the attention of the media and animal rights groups? At the same time, we do inject these poor beasts with all manner of hormones, then slaughter

them and grind them into quarterpounders, so the bar for humane treatment has been set pretty low… In other news: I am officially sick of hearing about “Obama’s First 100 Days.” After the election, we got weeks upon weeks of commemorative covers and long-winded, misty-eyed wrap-ups. (Yes, I’ll admit, we did one of our own, but we did it two days after the inauguration and that was that.)

No sooner had the first wave of fluff and circumstance come to an end than we arrived at this meaningless milestone.

Why 100 days, and not 50 or 200? What if a bunch of important stuff happens on day 108? Here’s a novel idea: report on things as they occur, and dispense with the phony, heavy-handed gimmicks that try to shove messy, evolving events into neat little pre-planned boxes.

TUESDAY, APRIL 28 At the risk of looking woefully out-oftouch if the swine flu outbreak explodes into a full-blown pandemic between the time I write these words and the time you read them, I’d just like to point out: no one in Hawaii has been diagnosed with swine flu. No one outside of Mexico has died from swine flu. Even in Mexico, the epicenter of the illness, less than 200 people have died. Perspective—it’s a good thing. MTW

OVERHEARD...

Woman: Poke it!

Man: It’s still moving.

Woman: Don’t poke it!

- Young couple staring at something on the sand at Baldwin Beach in Paia

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

9

“Genes are taken from bacteria, viruses, insects, nuts, fish and animals and spliced into common food crops. Most Hawaiian papayas are transgenic, containing virus, antibiotic-resistant and E-coli bacteria genes,” says Bonnie Bonse, island coordinator for Hawaii SEED. Those in favor of GMOs—like the University of Hawaii and Monsanto, a primary GMO producer in Hawaii—use their technology in 17 U.S. states to create fruits, vegetables and grains that are resistant to disease, grow in mass quantities and identically resemble their organic counterparts. Monsanto currently runs full-page advertisements in the Wall Street Journal promoting its technology as one that could “save the world from hunger” by feeding people mass-produced GE foods at a lower cost.

Using gene-splicing and DNA-cloning technologies typically found in the medical field, Monsanto then patents its creations to sell to farmers. This business provides a literal cash crop for companies.

Still, is the human race ready to ingest test tube food? And even if we aren’t, do we really have a choice?

It isn’t just scientists and advocacy groups voicing concern. One of Hawaii’s largest papaya buyers, Japan, stopped purchasing the product after GMO technology was introduced into the crop.

The latest skirmish on the GMO front in Hawaii is a piece of legislation recently brought to the state capitol. The Taro Security Bill (HB1663), authored by Maui Rep. Mele Carroll, intendeds to preserve Hawaii’s staple by banning all GMO production of taro. While the bill passed and is expected to be signed into law in May, it’s worth noting that the ban will last only five years and applies only to Hawaiian taro. Non-Hawaiian taro, such as the popular Chinese Bun-long variety, can still be genetically engineered.

“I think taro farmers have made great strides in educating the legislature about their concerns of genetic testing. I’m hopeful Hawaiian issues such as taro security will remain on the forefront,” says Carroll, who grows dry-land taro. “We want to protect our cultural integrity, especially when it comes to our kalo.”

Hawaiian taro isn’t currently in danger of dying off to the point where super taro needs to step in and save the industry. There are other countries, however, that use taro as a main diet staple and are unable to keep up production. University of Hawaii Vice President for Research James Gaines, who spoke out against HB16663, says GE taro can solve these countries’ agricultural problems. While UH wants to propel GE research in the state, the publicly funded university is caught between a rock and a hard place—science and public opinion. “[The] research expertise of the UH cannot be legislated away from the real needs of real people in developing nations who are challenged by the loss of their staple taro crops due to the effects of new diseases and global warming and the pressures of overpopulation,” Gaines said in testimony presented to the state House Committee on Hawaiian Affairs in February. “We understand that the most significant issues affecting taro in Hawaii—invasive species and diseases associated with imported taro and issues related to agriculture—are not being addressed by this legislation. UH must reiterate that research is not the problem nor is it a threat to Hawaiian taro. Research is not a cultural issue and we respectfully oppose the passage of this bill.”

Others agree that GE technology is not only good for humanity but environmentally friendly as well. According to the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, traditional agricultural practices account for 14 percent of greenhouse gases worldwide. By using GE seeds for farming, less herbicides and tilling are needed, while increasing yield. The June 2008 issue of Wired magazine points out that GE corn is the leading contributor to bio-fuel, producing higher yields with less fertilizer.

ome non-human tests seem to indicate GMO foods have no adverse effects. But opponents of the technology say the science is far too young to make such bold claims. “People will say they’re regulated and safe, [but] I would like to see the data on that myself,” says Dr. Lorrin Pang, a Maui-based scientist. “We never saw smoking caused cancer until the ’50s. We haven’t looked at GMOs that way—and we can’t because they aren’t labeled.”

his isn’t the first time the public has butted heads with UH on GMO production of Hawaiian crops. The story actually begins in 1998 when the first genetically modified papayas were commercially grown in Hawaii. Hawaii’s fifth-largest crop went through a crisis in the mid-1990s when a ringspot virus wiped out close to half of the state’s papayas. GMO researchers located a protein gene in the virus, cloned it and inserted the gene into the papaya, making the fruit resist-

f you eat papaya in Hawaii, you’re probably eating a genetically modified food. Often called “Frankencrops,” more than 80 percent of Hawaiian papaya is tweaked using genetic and DNA science. Don’t be surprised if you didn’t know, because it looks and tastes like a papaya and genetically modified foods aren’t labeled as such. Therein lies one of the many controversies surrounding genetically engineered (GE) food and genetically modified organisms (GMO) in Hawaii, and worldwide—a decades-old battle pitting conservationists against portions of the science and business communities.

According to the nonprofit organization Hawaii SEED, many of the foods you pick up at any U.S. grocery store contain GE products, such as whole corn and soy beans and the oils of canola, soy, corn and cotton seed. It’s estimated that 75 percent of processed foods on supermarket shelves contain GE ingredients, including snacks, baby food and condiments (see sidebar).

I

“We never saw smoking caused cancer until the ’50s. We haven’t looked at GMOs that way—and we can’t because they aren’t labeled.”

- Dr. Lorrin Pang

S

10

APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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ant to ringspot. Within a few years, papaya production made a strong comeback.

Then something unexpected occurred: the open-air GMO papaya farms began cross-pollinating with organic farms. Samples taken from Big Island organic farms, backyards and the wild showed at least half were unknowingly producing GMO papaya. Oahu showed a contamination of 5 percent and Kauai had trace levels. UH itself was selling contaminated papaya seeds, causing public outrage and proving that growing GE foods outside of a laboratory in open fields leads to contamination of non-GMO farms.

One of Monsanto’s biggest defenses is that people have the choice to not eat GMOs. “Individuals who make a personal decision not to consume food containing GM ingredients can easily avoid such products,” the company says on its Web site. “In the U.S., [consumers] can purchase products that are certified as organic under the National Organic Program.”

One of Monsanto’s biggest defenses is that people have the choice to not eat GMOs. Consumers in Hawaii found out the hard way that isn’t always true.

Papaya consumers in Hawaii found out the hard way that isn’t always true, and those who do operate under the National Organic Program could easily lose their certification for growing and selling GMOs without realizing it.

“The entire future of organic farming is threatened. GE pollen has been shown to transfer genetically engineered genes into previously conventional and organic crops,” says Bonse. “It is expected that Bt, a natural insecticide used in organic farming, will lose its effectiveness due to the widespread use of crops modified to express the Bt toxin in every cell.” espite the fact that GE technology shows no signs of slowing down, many Hawaii residents are adamantly opposed to Monsanto. And they’re not alone. A May 2008 Vanity Fair piece titled “Monsanto’s Harvest of Fear” charged the company with going after “farmers, farmers’ co-ops, seed dealers—anyone it suspects may have infringed its patents of genetically modified seeds.” In March, Monsanto, which has a presence on Maui and Molokai, announced plans to shut down operations on Kauai citing “cost saving” measures. Many have celebrated the news, though state agriculture officials, county farm bureaus, chambers of commerce and UH all contend that if this “anti-technology, anti-modernization” mentality continues in Hawaii, the state will lose millions of dollars as Monsanto and other GE companies move to less hostile communities.

Much like Mary Shelley’s masterpiece, Frankenstein, the use of GE technology is scary to some and intriguing to others.

Basically, it’s messing with nature to create something larger—and potentially more powerful—than normal. The question remains: will “Frankencrops” be accepted into society and treated like all other home-grown fruits, or will the villagers chase them down with the proverbial torch until GE technology destroys its creator? MTW

Unmodified

Some popular foods that contain GE ingredients, and some GMO-free alternatives…

GMO

GMO-Free

Baby food:

Enfamil

Gerber

Peanut butter:

Skippy

MaraNatha

Ketchup:

Heinz

Muir Glen

Macaroni:

Kraft

Annie’s

Frozen pizza:

Tombstone

Amy’s Kitchen

Potato chips:

Frito Lay

Kettle Chips

Wheat Thins

Barbara’s Wheatines

Kellogg’s Corn Flakes

Health Valley Oat Bran Flakes

Minute Maid

Odwalla

Oreo

Newman-Os

Crackers: Cereal:

Orange Juice: Cookies:

Source: truefoodnow.org

Photo: monsanto.com

D

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BY JEN RUSSO JEN@MAUITIME.COM

To the Max East Maui eatery is a newbie but goodie t first impression, Haiku comes off as a sleepy village with not much going on. But those of us who have lived there or currently do know there’s a vibrant community behind all the greenery and quiet roads, with the two canneries, Haiku and Pauwela, forming the commercial foundation. If you haven’t visited lately there are lots of reasons to.

A

Max

Photos by Sean Michael Hower

Haiku Town Center, 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku Call for restaurant & delivery hours 575-2629 At the Haiku Town Center across from the Haiku Cannery, a new restaurant, Max, has emerged from the abrupt closing of another. The new owners, John and Cristina Graziano, are forthcoming in their honesty and admit they aren’t seasoned restaurateurs. But, they’re quick to add, that has allowed them to stick to their guns and not skimp on the quality of their produce and ingredients—almost to a fault. Their ultimate aim is to provide good food at a great price, even if it cuts into the bottom line. That’s a length most seasoned food and beverage people won’t go to.

I can appreciate this rookie enthusiasm. And I appreciated the food, too. My first lunch was Caesar salad and a veggie sandwich, with a pizza to go. It was quiet in the restaurant as I slid in at the buzzer (lunch ends at

2:30pm). Fleetwood Mac’s “Tusk” was playing as I took in the pleasant green and brown decor accented with large canvas paintings of giant flowers and bamboo.

The Caesar was huge, a meal in itself with authentic dressing and crisp, buttery croutons. The veggie sandwich was a masterpiece, arriving on toasted focaccia, stuffed with romaine, tomato, carrot shreds, red onion, avocado, grilled eggplant and cucumber with a tasty pesto spread. The really amazing thing about this sandwich was it was good the next day; the veggies went the distance and the bread was still soft.

Pizza is one of their signature items and worth ordering every time you stop by.

The thin crust, handmade with organic flour, is full of great crust traits: a bit savory, chewy and crisp outside, soft inside. The ham was juicy and tender and the pineapple provided a fresh blast of fruit flavor with every bite.

Max also offers a delivery service, which makes me a bit jealous (there was no delivery service when I lived in Haiku!).

Their voice-guided GPS-packing drivers will even go as far as Pukalani and Paia for hungry peeps.

My return trip to Max was a Friday night family event and the place was hoppin’. Benny Uetaki was strumming his island vibes, and the dining room was full.

We opted for a booth to contain my unruly 3-year-old and settled in with the menu.

The restaurant is a crossroads for Haiku neighbors and we saw lots of Upcountry friends fly by picking up take-out or dropping in to eat.

We dove into a plate of spicy chicken wings for starters. Owner John Graziano explained the wing recipe is uncommon, featuring smaller, less fatty fried wings.

They went down fast, easy and just as messy as their more common counter-

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parts. Next up, my dining mates and I ordered the island-grazed beef Milanese sandwich, chicken breast Parmesan and the BBQ baby back ribs. All were fantastic. The half-rack of ribs came with sautéed veggies, spaghetti with marinara and a salad for $15; all were prepared well, the ribs just barely clinging to the bone and smothered with a tangy peppery housemade BBQ sauce. My 3-year-old food critic put in her vote for the spaghetti, finishing it with a few big sloppy swoops of her hand. Somebody mentioned an improvement in the chicken breast Parm sandwich from the last time, a sure sign the kitchen is making an extra effort to fine-tune its repertoire.

Max is working hard for the East Maui and Upcountry crew and is looking to

Honor Your Mother

Photos: veggie sandwich (top left); spicy buffalo wings (top middle); chicken Milanese (top right); Ricardo’s specialty pizza (bottom right); John and Cristina Graziano and sons Daniel and Aron, hostess Lizya Galo and Chef Claudio Gallea (bottom left).

make itself a destination for family- and date-nights alike. They’ve got a kid-friendly menu, seductive chocolate desserts and a welcoming vibe, plus a pizza menu I can’t stop thinking about. They’re also conscious about supporting local growers and using organic ingredients. With daily specials to boot, there are more than enough reasons for folks from all over the island to head to the country for a delicious meal. MTW

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BY YNEZ TONGSON YNEZ@MAUITIME.COM

Calling in sick for saimin WEI WEI BBQ & NOODLE HOUSE I’ve been feeling sick for the past couple of days: sore throat, fever, sniffles. I was horrified when I found out the early symptoms of the dreaded swine flu were similar to those of the common cold/flu. After a doctor reassured me that I just had a bad cold, I realized I would need some serious comfort food. However, chicken soup wouldn’t do for this island girl. When sickness or merely the urge for saimin kicks in, I head over to Wei Wei. Their broth is hot and their noodles are long, essentials for any saimin. And if I really am as sick as I feel, I can always head over to the nearby church for last rites.

210 Imi Kala St., Wailuku, 242-7928.

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Saimin is a magical substance. It recalls happy memories of childhood and the warm steam from the broth temporarily clears clogged sinuses.

Furthermore, the noodles are easy to eat.

You don’t want to be struggling with your food when you’re also struggling to get out of bed. If you’re sick on the South side, Home Maid Cafe is the place to find scrumptious saimin for breakfast or lunch. And if you really need an additional pick-me-up, they serve yummy malasadas as well. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-6035.

A.K.’S CAFE

Handcrafted Ales & Lagers Brewed with Aloha

It’s tough to feel miserable at A.K.’s Cafe. The servers are friendly and you’re almost always guaranteed a table. The restaurant is casual enough that you could show up in your sweats, but the food is good enough for a business lunch. (Not that you’d go on a business lunch when you’re sick, of course.) Sit yourself down at a table with tissues in one hand and chopsticks in the other. When you’re done with the local version of chicken noodle soup, go ahead and slurp up the broth. You’re sick, people will forgive the lapse in manners. 1237 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774.

Maybe your mom can’t write a note excusing you from class anymore, but at least you’ve got saimin.

SAM SATO’S Sam Sato’s is one of the last great saimin spots on Maui. It seems that all the other historic saimin houses have left the island for good, yet Sam Sato’s still stands tall.

Here you can order your food and know that they’ve been serving the same delicious saimin since your hanabata (little kid) days. Maybe your mom can’t write a note excusing you from class anymore, but at least you’ve got saimin. 1750 Wili Pa Loop, Wailuku, 244-7124.

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There’s something to be said about quantity. If you’re looking to scare that cold away with the sheer quantity of noodles you can eat, you should definitely head over to Ramen Ya. They’ll serve you bowls of noodles bigger than your head (unless you’re, ahem, a certain contributing writer for a certain alt weekly).

Don’t worry; your stomach won’t be able to tell the difference between ramen and saimin. To be honest, saimin is just the Hawaii version of ramen. But, if you’re a purist and only want saimin to cease your sniffles, Ramen Ya has saimin listed on the menu, just for you. Queen Kaahumanu Center, 275 W. Kaahumanu Ave., Kahului, 873-9688. MTW

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As usual, categories are organized into five sections: arts & entertainment; food & drink; goods & services; politics & environment; and sports & leisure. We’ve added a few new categories this year to spice things up, but you’ll still find all the old standbys. Please vote in at least 40 categories if you want your ballot to be counted. Voting ends May 20.

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MUSICSCENE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

B side Enigmatic Maui songstress Karen B is a multi-faceted gem t was a Sunday, late afternoon when she swaggered in, looking like a cross between a cute cowgirl and a fierce blues diva. Her stage? A pool cabana in the shadow of a sprawling Haiku mansion, adjacent to a bar serving only mojitos. Her band?

Whoever wanted to pound on one of the assorted instruments that were strewn about. Her sound?

I

Well, to call it innovative would be selling it short. There’s an intangible, otherworldly element to what Karen B does.

Augmenting the bass and guitar she carries is an arsenal of effects pedals, which she uses in a manner both generous and calculating. It’s a collection that will at once inspire jealousy and make a believer out of even the most misogynistic of boy musicians.

Her Excaliber is her sampler, which she employs to loop her catchy vocal and instrumental riffs (much of it on-the-spot).

The result is an organic and fearless package, one that betrays an instinctual understanding of music. Her guitar riffs and chord progressions demonstrate an intimate musical knowledge. They scurry, plod and meander through varying degrees of complexity, but never seem out of place.

The sampler lets her pluck the best of these out of the air and strategically drop them in where she sees fit. This, of course, allows her to do multiple things at once, which makes for a rich and textured product.

Only some of what she plays is written ahead of time, which means that no song is performed the same way twice— an impressive feat, given that most musicians’ sets rely heavily on rehearsed material.

To those not musically savvy enough to be totally floored by the way she assembles songs, the most appealing

Karen B Web site: karen-b.com Next gig: Saturday, May 1 4-6pm at the South Shore Tiki Lounge, Kihei

thing may be her vocal style. Rhythm and blues are a clear and heavy influence. Her pipes are extremely easy on the ears with their velvety soul inclinatio; she’s a dyed-in-the-wool alto and doesn’t try to stab at soprano—but she’ll hit a high note if she needs to. She also adds an element of tin can trippiness with the help of distortion and other effects pedals.

The melodies she adopts are heavily R&Binspired, but contain globe-spanning flourishes. This eclecticism spills over into her lyrics, which possess a broad range of vivid imagery. A favorite refrain of mine from her poolside performance was the repetition of the words “nobody knows my name.”

This sense of bold anonymity spills over into B’s stage presence, or at least it does when she sings from behind the gigantic pair of gangsta broad sunglasses she sported. It’s no surprise that B is also a visual artist—a painter, to be exact. Like her music, her paintings have an impressionistic bent. Both contain a tangible form with vivid imagery and lots of room for the unexpected.

If you missed her Sunday performance, you’re not out of luck. She plays with some consistency at venues across the Valley Isle, including Ambrosia and South Shore Tiki Lounge.

Those seeking the archetypal acoustic lady songstress who cries into her beer as she sings about boyfriends might want to stay home. But if you’re looking for something surreal yet grounded, something that’s unique and creative without being jarring, check out this complex and hidden gem. MTW

SATURDAY, MAY 2 • 7–11PM Live Original Music by F E A T U R E D A R T I S T S Poni Brendan & Brendan Lokahi

Maui recording artists and bass extraordinaire

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871-1414 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

19

FILMCRITIQUE

BY BARRY WURST II BARRY@MAUITIME.COM

Unhealthy obsession Laughably bad thriller does feature an awesome Beyonce beatdown aybe I’m the only one who remembers The Temp, a thriller that came out 16 years ago and starred Timothy Hutton as a successful business executive who is hit on and threatened by his crazy secretary. I’m guessing the makers of Obsessed are hoping audiences will have forgotten about The Temp, as well

M

Obsessed

★★ ★★★★ Rated PG-13/108 min.

as Fatal Attraction, Disclosure and all the other movies they ripped off.

Beyonce Knowles plays the wife of a successful asset manager (Idris Elba), who becomes the target of the company’s hot, mentally unstable new temp (Ali Larter). Even something this unoriginal could have been

exciting and suspenseful but, with frequent music montages that feel like miniBeyonce music videos, you sometimes wonder if the filmmakers forgot they were making a thriller.

I like Elba a lot on The Office, where he plays the exasperated superior of Steve Carell’s boneheaded character, but in this movie he tries to punch up his rotten dialogue by overacting and winds up looking foolish. He has more onscreen intensity with Carell than Larter, who comes off like a graduate from the Sharon Stone School of Vamp Acting. Knowles, a gifted singer, once again shows us why not all pop divas should become actresses. During a tense shouting match with Elba, she looks like she’s about to break out into “Irreplaceable.” Instead, she tells her husband to move out, he asks where he should go and, I swear, this is what she tells him: “To hell…or the Four Seasons!”

Remember, this isn’t a comedy.

Some potentially potent themes hover over the movie but are never addressed, including the obvious issue of an interracial, extramarital office affair (which Spike Lee’s

More like ‘Mild Jungle Head Cold.’

Jungle Fever handled in a daring, provocative manner almost 20 years ago). There are lots of plot holes and vague details, like how Larter is apparently poisoning co-workers so she can keep working at the same firm as Elba. Also, why would Larter get someone she’s stalking to love her by kidnapping his child? Because she’s crazy, right? Then why does she vanish for a long music montage where we see Elba trying to win back his wife? Was Larter on psychopath sick leave?

Much has been made of the climactic showdown between Knowles and Larter.

Forget The Hand That Rocks the Cradle— this is more like Alien vs. Predator, as the two smack each other with wooden twoby-fours, slam into walls and crash through a floor. It’s like watching Battle of the Pseudo-Actresses, and a so-stupidyou-gotta-see-this, camp classic set piece that is the only thing audiences will remember about this stinker. MTW

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APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MOVIECAPSULES Maui Film Festival Candlelight Cinema SHERMAN’S WAY - Unrated - Comedy This low-budget road flick follows a young law student who, because of an unexpected friendship with an eccentric dude and, of course, a fling with a chick, ends up at a crossroads between a life of squaredom and a path that’s unblazed. 97 min.

New This Week BATTLE FOR TERRA - PG - Animated - An animated what-have-you concerning the humans’ takeover of planet Terra, presumably after the humans’ takeover of planet Earth. Chronicles the struggle of a rebellious Terrian teenager who is trying to fight the power. 85 min.

GHOSTS OF GIRLFRIENDS PAST PG13 - Comedy - Matthew McConaughey plays a douchebag who womanizes copiously, and tries to get his engaged brother to do the same. In a dream he gets visited by the ghosts of past girlfriends who show him the douchebaggery of his ways. 100 min.

STAND UP 360: EPISODE 1 - PG13 Comedy - The first of a series of films observing the antics of various “stand-up” comedians performing in New York “City,” presumably before the zombie virus.

X-MEN ORIGINS: WOLVERINE - PG13 Action - This film, which I thought they already made, traces the origins of the dreamiest X-person of all, Wolverine. Hugh Jackman stars. 107 min.

Now Showing 17 AGAIN - PG13 - Comedy - A thirty-something dude (played by Matthew Perry) with a dead-end job and a crumbling marriage suddenly, magically becomes, you guessed it...17 again! (And tween dream Zac Efron, incidentally). 102 min.

ADVENTURELAND - R - Comedy - A brainy stoner gets a job at a cheesy amusement park the summer before grad school. It is there that he associates with a series of complex characters, mostly peers. It’s set in the late ‘80s, which spells great fashion cues for the lobotomized. 107 min.

CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE - R - Action Apparently a sequel to a flick wherein a dude survives being injected with a deadly poison, this flick involves the same dude, only this time his life is threatened by some other awesome hazard. 85 min.

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

SHOWTIMES

DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION - PG - Action - A young warrior goes out on a quest, fighting against time and some other video game-related crap. 84 min.

Maui Film Festival

EARTH - G - Documentary - Famous baritones Captain Picard and Darth Vader narrate this documentary that chronicles the migration routes of different animal families. Warning: there are bears. 96 min.

900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), 17 Again - PG13 - Th 4, 6:30, 9. F-W 4:15, 6:45, 9:15. Sa-Su 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15.

Fast and Furious 4 - R - Th only 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9 Fighting - PG13 - Th -W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

Obsessed - PG13 - Th 4:45, 7:15, 9:45. F-W 4, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - PG13 - F-W 4:25, 7:15, 10. Sa-Su 1:30, 4:25, 7:15, 10.

FAST AND FURIOUS 4 - R - Art, Foreign What? Really? Why? 99 min.

FIGHTING - PG13 - Drama - A young inner city counterfeiter is taken in by a scam artist who then turns him into a super-mean bare knuckles fighter. Brutal and graphic fight scenes likely ensue.

105 min.

HANNAH MONTANA - G - Musical - Tween girls don’t care about this film’s plot because they are going to see it anyway. Everybody else doesn’t care because they’re not going to see it unless dragged. 102 min.

MONSTERS VS. ALIENS - PG - Animation - Wow, this Dreamworks film’s name is right up there with Zombies vs. Bears, or even Zombies vs. Sharks. It involves Monsters, Inc.-esque creatures that must step up to defend the earth against aliens. Seth Rogen, Reese Witherspoon and Will Arnett lend their voices. 94 min.

OBSERVE AND REPORT - R - Comedy - A delusional mall security guard played by Seth Rogen gets a chance to show what he’s made of when a serial flasher strikes. Humor ensues. 86 min.

OBSESSED - PG13 - Drama - Idris Elba plays an attractive and successful suit who is married to a woman played by Beyonce Knowles. It all starts to unravel when a pretty little blond temp gets a little too attached. 100 min.

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN - PG - Action This remake stars the Rock, and manages to keep a plot going that involves a cab driver who picks up two teenage runaways who are in some type of trouble involving evil villains. 97 min.

THE SOLOIST - PG13 - Drama - Based on a not untrue story, this is the tale of a writer, played by Robert Downey Jr., who discovers an unbelievably talented busker (Jamie Foxx).

Challenges ensue. 109 min.

STATE OF PLAY - R - Thriller - When a young and dreamy congressman’s mistress gets murdered, secrets start coming out. An investigative reporter gets tangled up in all of this, which is presumably entertaining. 132 min.

SUNSHINE CLEANING - R - Comedy - A single mother decides to start a cleaning business with a twist. Note: it’s one of those cleaning businesses that cleans up death scenes, so, you know, gross. But quirky-gross, not grossgross. 91 min.

Saturday, May 2 Live at 3 pm Channel 701 or HD 1701

Call 643-2337 to order

Castle Theater, Kahului, 572-3456 Sherman’s Way - Unrated - W only 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Battle for Terra - PG - F-Sa 11:15, 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15, 9:15. Su-W 11:15, 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15.

Dragonball: Evolution - PG - 3:40, 5:40, 7:40 Earth - G - Th 11, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40. F-Sa 11:05, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40, 9:50. Su-W 11:05, 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40.

Fast and Furious 4 - R - Th 11, 1:15, 3:35, 5:55, 8:15. F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:35, 5:55, 8:15, 10:35. Su 11, 1:15, 3:35, 5:55, 8:15. W 11, 1:15, 3:35.

Fighting - PG13 - Th 11, 1:15, 3:35, 5:55, 8:15.

F-Sa 11:05, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20, 10:40. Su-W 11:05, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20.

Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - PG13 - F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su-W 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15.

Observe and Report - R - Th only 11:05, 1:05, 6, 8.

Obsessed - PG13 - Th-Sa 11:10, 1:30, 3:50, 6:10, 8:40. Su-W 11:10, 1:30, 3:506:10, 8:40.

Race to Witch Mountain - PG - Th only 11:10, 1:20 Stand Up 360: Episode 1 - PG13 - W only 7:30 p.m.

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm), 17 Again - PG13 - F-Su 12:15, 2:35, 5. M-W 1:35, 4:15.

Dragonball: Evolution - PG - Th only 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05 Fast and Furious 4 - R - Th only 1:10, 3:20, 5:40, 7:55 Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - PG13 - F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8. M-W 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8.

The Soloist - PG13 - Th-W 1:05, 3:35, 6:05, 8:35. F-Sa 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. Su 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05.

State of Play - R - Th 1:05, 3:30, 6, 8:30. F-Su 7:25, 9:50. M-W 6:40.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine - PG13 - F-Sa 11, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20, 10:40. Su 11, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20. M-W 1, 3:20, 5:40, 8.

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), 17 Again - PG13 - Th-W 1:30, 2:25, 3:55, 4:55, 6:25, 7:25, 8:55, 9:50. F-Su 12, 1:30, 2:25, 3:55, 4:55, 6:25, 7:25, 8:55, 9:50.

Adventureland - R - Th only 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:40 Crank: High Voltage - R - Th-W 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35. F-Su 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35. FSu 12, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15.

Hannah Montana - G - Th 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9. F-Su 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9. M-W 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9.

Monsters vs. Aliens - PG - Th 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45; 3D 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. F-Su 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. M-W 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20.

The Soloist - PG13 - Th 1:45, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45.

F-W 1:45, 4:25, 7:05, 9:45.

State of Play - R - Th 3:05, 3:55, 6, 6:50, 8:55, 9:40. F-Su 12:10, 3:05, 6, 8:55. M-W 3:05, 6, 8:55.

Sunshine Cleaning - R - Th only 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20 X-Men Origins: Wolverine - PG13 - F-Su 10:45, 11:15, 12:30, 1, 1:30, 3, 3:15, 3:55, 4:25, 5, 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 9, 9:30. 10, 10:30. M-W 1:30, 3, 3:15, 3:55, 4:25, 5, 6:15, 6:45, 7:15, 7:45, 9, 9:30, 10.

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Ghosts of Girlfriends Past - PG13 - F-W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30.

Hannah Montana - G - Th 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. F-W 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9. Sa-Su 11, 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9.

Monsters vs. Aliens - PG - 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9 Obsessed - PG13 - 4:45, 7:15, 9:45 State of Play - R - Th 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30. F-W 1:14, 4, 6:45, 9:30.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

21

THIS WEEK’S PICKS

‘Steel’ the one Friday & Saturday (May 1 & 2), 7:30pm, Sunday (May 3), 3pm, Iao Theater, Wailuku

MAUI’S ONLY CLASSIC ROCKER A little comedy, a little vicodin, a little haole on the mic, a lot of great rock ‘n’ roll

Attention all dudes: if you are a macho homophobe whose fragile manly eyes cannot glimpse anything that possesses femininity without being overtly sexual, you may want to divert your peepers for the next 185 words or so. Otherwise, man up and step right this way. You see, I generally view chick flicks/chick lit as inconsequential fluff that perpetually reinforces the most revolting female stereotypes. But when a work with a nuanced plot, one that goes beyond shopping, boyfriends and chocolate, comes along I have to give it its due. Steel Magnolias, which will be performed this week by Maui OnStage, is one of those works that gives its female characters actual depth. It chronicles the struggles of a young woman as she battles Type I diabetes. Of course, such a monumental struggle cannot be adequately portrayed without simultaneously charting the bonds that occur among kin over time. The plots of both the stage and film versions are anchored in a small-town Louisiana salon.

The characters are quite colorful and humor prevails throughout. $18/$15 matinee.

Post Lei Day mele Saturday (May 2), 7:30pm, Castle Theater, MACC Lei Day, an occasion that celebrates the production, existence and cultural significance of lei, has been celebrated on May 1 since its 1928 inception. I hereby suggest the expansion of May Day, so that it swallows May 2 as well. You see, not only does Lei Day occur on a Saturday this year, it also precedes a performance by the awardwinning Brothers Cazimero, Hawaii’s quintessential Lei Day musical component. For decades they’ve been one of the definitive acts of contemporary Hawaiian music. Plus, they incorporate hula (Robert Cazimero is a kumu hula). So we can turn May 1 into a 48-hour extravaganza before going back to normal on Monday.

Required viewing Saturday (May 2), 6pm, MCC

OREN & JUNIOR $3 TECATE CANS D.U.H. $3 SAUZA TEQUILA SHOTS ROCK FEVER REMEDY OUTDOOR RYAN FROM SILKY RINGO MARGARITA BAR |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||

AND DJ SETS BY N8 CASTRO AT 10 PM

It is most auspicious that the MauiFEST Hawaii folks saw fit to organize their drive-in theater extravaganza tribute to Uncle Boy Kanae on what will from now on be known as lei weekend. These events are most valiant in their celebration of all things Hawaii, especially in this case, given that it’s celebrating the life of a man who was nicknamed “Da Hawaiian Supaman.” Entertainment includes loads of live music courtesy of George Kahumoku, Jr. and uke virtuosos Derick Sebastian and Uncle Benny Uyetake. Films to be screened include The Koaloha Ukulele Story (Maui premiere) and Ke Ka‘apuni Ho‘onui (world premier), which documents the recent journey of Hawaiian marchers on Maui. Expect ono food booths and a whole slew of other delights too numerous to list. $20 per car/$5 walk-ins.

900 FRONT ST. across➤➤➤➤➤ from the movie theaters • (808) 667- 7805 ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY THURSDAY FRIDAY 22

APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

BY KATE BRADSHAW

May the Schwartz be with you Sunday (May 3), 6-10pm, Lahaina Civic Center There are two movies I distinctly recall seeing in the theater when I was little: The Princess Bride and Spaceballs. Now, more than 20 years later, I can see that I am not alone in my love of things that make fun of other things. This Sunday’s free screening of the 1987 Mel Brooks classic will serve as an opportunity for lovers of satire to stand and be counted. The film, if you’ll recall, is a spoof of Star Wars, Star Trek and other sci-fi works that take themselves way too seriously.

Brooks even sneaks in shots at fairy tales as well as the mass marketing of film memorabilia (“moychendising!”) that often accompanies big-budget action flicks. The cast includes Brooks, John Candy, Rick Moranis, Bill Pullman, Daphne Zuniga, Joan Rivers and many others. The Sunday screening is a popcorn potluck, so bring a snack to share. Oh, and how can I forget: coming in costume is highly encouraged. Free.

Beyond the Triangle

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present

Dj Styles & dj Jammin J THE EVENING THAT EARNED CASANOVA THE AWARDS

“BEST LATE NIGHT IN MAUI” and “BEST SINGLES SCENE IN MAUI” Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 Cover

Friday

May 1st

DJ FLX with Daniel J,

Del Sol & Mad Max Music starts at 10:00 pm $10 Cover after 11 pm

Sunday May 3rd

UPCOUNTRY SUNDAYS

Saturday May 2nd

with

CHERYL RAE &Harley THE MIX DR. NAT Dale Brown Dorothy Betz & Les Adam Music starts at 2pm $7 Donation

Y EL RIO RITMO TAURUS PARTY Music Starts at 10:00pm $10 cover

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

Wednesday (May 6), 10pm, Hard Rock Café, Lahaina

You wouldn’t know it from a standard world map, but Bermuda consists of more than 100 small islands. I view this as an apt metaphor for individuals. We’ve all got the tendency to paint others with a broad stroke, to turn each other into cardboard cutouts for our own convenience. Stereotyping, after all, is one hell of a time-saver (to paraphrase the good people at The Onion). Bermuda-born reggae musician Mishka is an individual who, in his music and story, defies expectation. His vocals are sweet and at times heart wrenching. The sources from which he draws are wide-ranging and blend together in a broadly appealing way. Bob Marley is an obvious influence, but it’s also clear that Mishka has listened to the Beatles religiously. His studio material, exemplified on his recent release Above the Bones, has a highly refined and dance-conducive sound. How Mishka got to his current spot is quite a story: first off, he was raised on a sailboat. Actor Matthew McConaughey discovered and subsequently signed Mishka to j.k. livin, McConaughey’s fledgling record label.

Photo by Doug Seymour

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

23

Big Shows Anuhea CD Release Party - Thu, Apr 30. This soulful Maui-born and raised songbird is taking off.

Fresh from her stint at South by Southwest Music Conference she is celebrating the Maui release of her debut self-titled album. Here’s a chance to show your support for this talented young lady and check out the tasty tracks she has to offer. 10 p.m.

Jacques Northshore Bistro, Paia. 579-8844.

Kathy Collins’ Death Comedy Jam - Fri, May 1. Join maven, Mana’o Radio cofounder and all-around cool chick Kathy Collins as she roasts death. A little it of gallows humor is required, and it’s requested that you leave the wee ones at home. Willie K. and Eric Gilliom are slated for guest appearances. $25. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Michael Stillwater - Fri, May 1. A chance to experience the music of a man whose sound Ram Dass describes as “a touch of grace.” Stillwater has composed an extensive body of music, derived from a global range of influences, with the aim of healing. $15. 7 p.m. Temple of Peace, Haiku. 874-7412.

Collie Buddz - Fri, May 1. This Bermuda-born reggae and dancehall artist, best known for his single “Come Around,” comes to Maui for one night only. $25/$30 door. 10pm. Lulu’s Lahaina, Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-0808.

Drive-in Theater Uncle Boy Kana’e Tribute - Sat, May 2. MauiFEST Hawai‘i presents this eclectic tribute to Uncle Boy Kana‘e, Maui’s Hawaiian Supaman. Includes musical performances by George Kahumoku, Jr. and others. Plus: the premier of several flicks. See This Week’s Picks for more. $20/$5 walk-ins. 6 p.m. Maui Community College. 573-5530.

Mishka - Wed, May 6. This Bermudan-born rootsreggae singer brings his soulful sound to Hard Rock Maui for one night only. Tickets available at the Hard Rock Rock Shop. 10 p.m. Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina.

667-7400.

Stage Casting Call - Fri. Maui Onstage is looking for thespians to try out for roles in its productions of The Best Little Whore House in Texas, a “happy-golucky view of small town vice and statewide political sidestepping” set in Miss Mona’s Bordello. Call for appointments.

Callbacks are Tuesday. 11:30 a.m.-4 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku. 244-8680-ext. 23.

Tina Malia Save Honolua Benefit - Sat, May 9. This event is limited to 100 guests and takes place in an amazing setting for a great environmental cause. $20. Honolua Valley. 276-8733.

Art of the Chanter - Sat, May 16. Keali’i Reichel directs this program, which features hula from practitioners of all ages. Some of these hula haven’t been performed in over a century. $12/$25/$40.

7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Christopher Boscole: Voyages - Fri, May 22.

This composer, pianist and sailor has sailed on the Hokulea, the Princess Taiping and many others. He will perform tunes from his recent release “Presents of Angels” as well as traditional Hawaiian melodies and some older original compositions. $25. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

SOME HERE

Steel Magnolias - Sun, Fri & Sat. Maui OnStage brings to life this story about Southern women who are tougher than nails...though they do appreciate some gossip at the salon. The script is known for its delightfully biting dialog. $18/$16 students & seniors/$15 Sunday matinee. Fri. & Sat. 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 3 p.m. Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku. 242-6969.

ALL

online CALENDAR on mauitime.com

Tickets on Sale My Mama Monologues - Sat & Sun, May 9 & 10. In celebration of her mom’s 100th year playwright Pat Matsumoto assembled mama stories from friends across the globe. The result? A series of touching, funny and moving mom-centric monologues, just in time for Mother’s Day. $20/$15/.

Sat., 7 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m. & 2 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Jazz, Tap & Hip Hop Revue Sat, May 23. Maui Academy of Performing Arts showcases its dance students, whose styles range from tap to hip hop. 3 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Moves - Sat, May 23. The intensivelytrained MAPA dance troupe presents a series of original choreographed pieces for your viewing pleasure. 3 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Sun, May 24.

You know you wanna. This classic Shakespeare comedy is a play inside a play inside a play.

Complete with fairies and, unrequited love and a dude whose head turns into that of a donkey. This is a ballet rendition of this production. $12. 3 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Kanaka Hekili Biker Rodeo/Fundraiser Mon, May 25. A morning ride from the Kahului

Burger King kicks off festivities. The celebration continues at the Kihei VFW Hall, where bike events will include a keg push, a water balloon toss and a joust.

Non-bike activities include a dunk tank. Vince Esquire holds down the musical side of things. This celebration aims to honor veterans of conflicts present and past. $20. 9 a.m. VFW Hall, Kihei. 879-5084.

Cheech & Chong - Fri, May 29. Far out, man!

What can be said, really? Snort some lines of dish soap and see how long it takes for Chong to crack the first Maui wowie joke. I’m guessing this legendary grass-puffing comedy duo will pack the house. $59.50. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

First Annual Maui Brewers’ Festival - Sat, May 30. Yay! Beer! This event celebrates food and beer of the islands and beyond. Live music and more. Plus: beer. 3 p.m. MACC Lawn. 242-7469.

Elmo Makes Music - Fri-Sun, Jun 26-28. That adorable little red Muppet will be rocking out on Maui with buds Zoe, Big Bird and others. Tunes they’ll be playing include “The Hustle,” “Rockin’ Robin” and, yes, “C is for Cookie.” $10/$20/$33. Fri.: 7 p.m.; Sat.: 10:30 a.m., 2 p.m. & 5:30 p.m.; Sun., 1 & 4:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului. 242-7469.

Eddie Vedder - Mon, Jun 29. Eddie Vedder?

Really? On Maui? Really? Bitchen! Aotearoa-based songwriter Liam Finn opens. Get tickets while you can. Four ticket limit.$72. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului. 242-7469.

Events THURSDAY, APR 30 Kamalii School Book Fair - See what kind of sweet deals you can find on books while helping raise money for the school. 8:30 a.m.- 6 p.m. Kamalii Elementary School Library. 875-6840 ext. 247.

ANY 14 oz

844 FRONT FRONT ST., ST., LAHAINA LAHAINA •• 667-7758 667-7758 844

24

APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

2511 S. S. KIHEI KIHEI RD., RD., KIHEI KIHEI •• 891-8600 891-8600 2511

2511 S. S. KIHEI KIHEI RD., RD., KIHEI KIHEI •• 891-8600 891-8600 2511

DA KINE CALENDAR Public Comment Session - The county wants to hear your thoughts on community development block grants. 2-4 p.m. Hawaii Government Employees Association Conference Room in David K. Trask Building. 270-7213.

Coral Reef Monitoring Workshop - Oi! This state government-sponsored workshop will teach participants to spot and report reef conditions like coral bleaching and disease as well as proliferation of invasive species. 6-8 p.m. Ambassadors to the Environment Education Center, Ritz-Carlton, One Ritz-Carlton Drv., Kapalua. 669-6200.

Hawaiian Calendar Class - Hawaiians relied on solar, lunar and astronomical cycles in many aspects of life. In effect these, phenomena Kahu Kapi’ioho’ikalani Lyons Naone is considered one of the most knowledgeable persons on Hawaiian and indigenous calendars. He has been teaching this subject for over 20 years, and tonight he shares his expertise. $99. 6-8 p.m. Kapalua Resort. 214-7910.

FRIDAY, MAY 01 Lei Day Celebration - A celebration now in its 81st year, Lei Day features a lei contest, lei-making demonstrations and musical performances by Kapalua residents and employees. Free. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Kapalua Resort. 665-9160.

MOC Lei Day Celebration - This unique Lei Day celebration features lei-making with vibrant blooms in an unusual setting: near the Black Tip (shark) Exhibit. Make a lei. Check out the sharks.

Pretty cool. 10 a.m.-2 p.m. Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7089.

Wharf Center Lei Day Celebration - This ohso Maui celebration of lei and their importance in Hawaiian culture will once again rock Front Street.

There will be a lei-making class in the Lei Room (mid-level, across from the glass elevator) from 11 a.m.-2 p.m. Live Hawaiian music at center stage from noon to 4 p.m. Plus, Da Kitchen at Da Wharf celebrates its grand opening in tandem with the other festivities. Free. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina. 661-8748.

St. Joseph Feast - This long-standing tradition features food (including malassadas, chicken hekka, waffle dogs and much more), entertainment, live auctions and much, much more. Fri.: 5-11 p.m.; Sat.: 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun.: 4-11 p.m. St. Joseph School, Makawao. 572-7652.

Karaoke - Come belt out your best tunes...you know you wanna. Don’t be shy. 1-6 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

First Friday: La Mei - Wailuku will once again rock this evening, with live music, food and craft vendors and much more. Check out the Sing Sing Laugh Laugh Poetry Slam courtyard at 33 N. Market St., and stick around for a performance by up and coming rock band The Cities Love You. Bonus: free coffee and donuts. This time around

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

they’re closing down Market street between Main and Vineyard, which means extra fun. 6-5 p.m.

Market Street from Main to Vineyard, Wailuku.

878-1888.

Cooperative Education Info Session Attendees will learn about Maui Community College’s Cooperative Education program,. 10-11 a.m.

Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului. 984-3318.

Unlock the Secrets of Humpback Code This installment of Akaku’s media salon series features German filmmaker Daniel Opitz as guest speaker. After Opitz’s documentary on humpback whale songs, “The Humpback Code,” screens there will be talk story session with those in attendance. $5 suggested donation. 6-8:30 p.m.

Akaku Community Television, 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului. 871-5554.

Poster Awards Ceremony - This ceremony will announce the winners of the elementary school children’s annual mental health poster contest. 10-11 a.m. Queen Kaahumanu Center, Kahului . 877-3369.

Maui Matsuri Kickoff - Festivities include a kimono fashion show, karaoke, a taiko performance and dance performances by Matsudai Ryu, Miyu Kai Japanese Dance Academy and Nakayama Minyo Kai. This event aims to raise awareness for the 9th annual Maui Matsuri, which takes place on May 15th & 16th. Free. 6:30-9 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 283-9999.

Basically Beethoven - Maui Classical Music Festival presents this performance showcasing the timeless compositions of Beethoven. 7 p.m. Makawao Union Church, 500 Baldwain Ave.. 878-2312.

Sign Waving - An effort to draw attention to the fact that May is National Foster Care Month. A chance to show support for Maui’s foster families.

7-9 p.m. Corner of Haleakala & Hana Highways, Kahului,. 268-5122.

SATURDAY, MAY 02 Free Legal Clinic - The Hawaii State Bar Association’s Young Lawyers Division offers a chance for the public to talk to real live lawyers about the economy and the law. For more information email JamesM@hsba.org for more details.

1

$

$

$

Hospice Yard Sale - Benefits this vital end-of-life care program. A chance to pick up some gently used items,. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. 23 Mano Drive, Kula Kai. 244-5555.

Swap Meet - From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too. Admission: 50 cents.

7 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 877-3100.

Taurus Party - The May installment of the Obama Ohana’s zodiac parties, this shindig celebrates those whose astrological sign happens to be a bull. Includes music, mermaid bellydancing, food and more. $20/$25 door. 8 p.m.-1 a.m. The Studio Maui, 810 Haiku Rd, Suite 265, Haiku. 575-9390.

Banyan Tree Art Fair - The Lahaina Arts Society presents this showcase of local artists and artisans, all in the shade of Lahaina’s sprawling banyan tree.

Check out locally made ceramics, art photography prints, giclees, hand-made jewelry, oil & acrylics and more. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina. 661-0111.

Maui Onion Festival - The 20th installment of this gigantic celebration of all things onion will entail live music and entertainment, an onion eating contest (yikes), cooking demonstrations from celebrity chefs and more. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567.

TACOS Starting at 4pm

ers 3 Mexi Bem mers

4 Tequila Sla

ORDER AN ENTRÉE AND GET A CHANCE TO WIN A

CUSTOM CORONA

SNOWBOARD Drawing at 8pm

661-9900

LIVE! UtsSatIC4pm M Star

Wharf center, Lahaina • 661-8881

www.mulligansatthewharf.com

Front Street Side of Lahaina Cannery Mall MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

25

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 04/30

Friday 05/01

Saturday 05/02

Sunday 05/03

Monday 05/04– Wednesday 05/06

House of S.I.N. No cover, 10pm

House Boutique No cover, 10pm

DJ Astro Raph No cover, 10pm

Ultra Lounge Night

MON - A Kettle Prime; TUE - Not Your Usual Cinco de Mayo (w/ DJ CIA); WED - Breakbeat Wednesdays

Tom Cherry Band

Jamallad

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL 28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA

DJ FLX $10, 10pm

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo Taurus Party; $10, 10pm

WED - Ladies’ Night, $10, 10pm

Alternative Night

TBA

TBA

WED - Congo Bongo w/ Haitian James

Smokin’ Hot Thursdays 9:30pm

Teomon & the Kryptones $10, 10pm

Orin & Junior

Dave Carroll No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Eric the Whale Shark No cover

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - Howard Ahia, No cover

Quiz Night w/ Chile Dog

Jarod from Fine Line

Jordan

Movie Night w/ Ms. Beaver

MON - Jordan & Guests, 10pm, No cover; TUE - Cinco Party w/ Scott Baird & Merika

Dominick of The Edge

Homestead

Mojomana

TUE - Backyard Jam

Taurus Party w/ Michael Fong; $5, 10pm

Club Ultra Fab w/ DJ Michael Fong; $5, 10pm

WED - WII Wednesdays w/ DJ Michael Fong 10pm

Pac Vibe

Boxing: Pacquiao vs.

Hatton

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CELLAR 744 744 Front St., Lahaina 661-3744

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

EHA’S POOL BAR 1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

MON -Open Mic

GIAN DON’S 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Ladies’ Night

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

MON - Willie K, $10, 9pm

Karaoke

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Marty Dread & the Kryptones; $5, 10:30pm; WED - Mishka, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Rampage No cover, 10pm

Collaboration

Manali’i

Karaoke Night

MON - Soul Food w/ Kanoa, 10pm; TUE - Cinco Party w.

DJ Nexus and Salsa music; WED -Pac Vibe

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED - Karaoke

Anuhea CD Release Party $10, 9pm

DJ Del Sol $10, 9:30pm

DJ CIA No cover, 9:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JACQUES 120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

Speaking Peace - This course in nonviolent communication helps participants learn how to be better communicators. Fundamentals include honest expression and emphatic listening. $45. 9:30 a.m.-5 p.m. Unity Church of Maui, 483 S. High St., Wailuku. 573-0416.

St. Joseph Feast - This long-standing tradition features food (including malassadas, chicken hekka, waffle dogs and much more), entertainment, live auctions and much, much more. Fri.: 5-11 p.m.; Sat.: 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun.: 4-11 p.m. St. Joseph School, Makawao. 572-7652.

Dagomba drum and dance. 3-5 p.m. Makawao Union Church Hall, 1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao. (603) 397-0101.

First Saturday Art Night - Central Maui rocks on first weekend. Wow-wee Maui’s Kava Bar is hosting this killer art opening, which features the work of three Maui artists, live music by Poni Brendan and Lokahi, an organic wine tasting, drink specials and more. 7 p.m. Wow-wee Maui’s Kava Bar, 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului. 873-7133.

Foster Care Info Meeting - Keiki Kokua presents this opportunity to learn about foster care. 1-4 p.m. Keiki Kokua Thrift Store, 310 Haiku Rd., Haiku. 575-5393.

Soul Voice - This “CoreSong ReConnection Workshop” aims to use music as a source of healing with the guidance of Michael Stillwater. Tales place in Spreckelsville. Register online at www.innervoice.com. $35. 7 p.m. Temple of Peace, Haiku. 874-7412.

Dance Workshop - The Nada Brahma Foundation presents renowned virtuoso Sulley Imoro, who comes to Maui all the way from Ghana. Donít miss this rare opportunity to participate in exciting workshops featuring traditional

The Honoring - This workshop explores healing through music with the help of Michael Stillwater. Takes place in Spreckelsville. Register online at www.innerharmony.com. $25. 7-10 p.m. 874-7412.

BONUS PICK

Cinco de drinko Tuesday (May 5), All day, drinkeries islandwide You may be wondering how to best celebrate the Mexican Army’s unexpected defeat of the French Army at the Battle of Puebla in 1862. Lucky for you, some killer Cinco de Mayo fiestas are happening across Maui. Folks on the North Shore can enjoy cheap food and drink at Milagros in Paia (including $3 Coronas all day, $5 fish tacos until 5pm and a sweet happy hour). South Mauians can check out a slew of Cinco parties, among them the Mulligan’s on the Blue shindig, with performances by Byron Brown and the Derelicts and Off Tomorrow. Kihei bars putting on festivities include Fred’s (food & drink specials all day) Ambrosia (where DJ CIA will be spinning), The Dog and Duck, Life’s a Beach and Tip-Ups. West Siders can check out a massive party at Mulligan’s at the Wharf (music from the Unifires, food booths and $3 Tecates, starting at 5pm), plus Santa Fe Cantina for live music and drink specials, then pop over to Los Pelones for $1 tacos and cheap booze (starting at 4pm). Isn’t history amazing in its wealth of excuses to get sloshed?

26

APRIL 30, 2009

TUE - Pool Tournament; WED - Ladies’ Night

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Saddle Up Trail Ride - The 17th annual installment of this St. Jude Children’s Hospital benefit is sponsored by Thompson Ranch. Call for location. 878-1910.

SUNDAY, MAY 03 Diabetes Maui Style - Diabetes is big on Maui.

This event aims to help spread awareness about the condition with presentations by Maui endocrinologist Till Hansen and RD Alice Toguchi-Matsuo.

Bonus: a performance by slack key guitarist extraordinare George Kahumoku, Jr. Plus: diabetes exhibits, glucose and cholesterol testing, cooking demonstrations door prizes and more. Lunch is complimentary. Free. 11 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Community College, Pa’ina Room. 280-3808.

Seed to Cup Workshop - The Maui Coffee Association presents this opportunity to learn about the process of coffee production from the growers themselves. 11:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. Kula Community Center, 3690 E. Lower Kula Rd., Kula. 572-0977.

Ben Franklin Craft Fair - Check out some locally made and probably adorable arts and crafts.

9 a.m.-2 p.m. War Memorial Gymnasium, Wailuku. 270-7389.

BanyanTree Art Fair -The Lahaina Arts Society presents this showcase of local artists and artisans, all in the shade of Lahaina’s sprawling banyan tree. Check out locally made ceramics, art photography prints, giclees, hand-made jewelry, oil and acrilics and more. Free. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Banyan Tree Park, Lahaina. 661-0111.

St. Joseph Feast - This long-standing tradition features food (including malassadas, chicken hekka, waffle dogs and much more), entertainment, live auctions and much, much more. Fri.: 5-11 p.m.; Sat.: 10 a.m.-11 p.m.; Sun.: 4-11 p.m. St. Joseph School, Makawao. 572-7652.

Elegant Afternoon Tea - This Women Helping Women benefit will feature live and silent auctions, a hat contest and more. 1-4 p.m. Location to be Determined. 242-6600.

Upcountry Sundays - Sundays were made for chillaxing Upcountry. These bi-weekly shows are a most most pleasant showcasing of Maui’s songwriters. This week it’s Cheryl Rae and the Mixx, Harley Dale Brown, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam who will grace the stage. Plus: pizza and beer. $7. 2 p.m. Casanova, Makawao. 572-0220.

Music for Connecting with Soul - Explores the impact that music has on one’s spirit and the capacity it has for healing with the guidance of Michael Stillwater. $20. 2-5 p.m. Unity Church, 483 S. High St., Wailuku. 874-7412.

The Kupuna Meets the Rabbi - No, they don’t walk into a bar and confirm stereotypes with a clever punchline. Kupuna (Hawaiian elder) Auntie Pua and Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak will present on the parallels that exist between Hawaiian and Jewish cultures. 4:30-7:30 p.m. Jewish Congregation of Maui, 634 Alulike St., Kihei. 874-5397.

MONDAY, MAY 04 Sunset Soiree - The theme of this Maui Classical Music Festival event is Festival Kaleidoscope. 78:30 p.m. Keawala’i Congregational Church, 5300 Makena Rd. 879-5557.

Transcendental Meditation - Kabbalist Rabbi Yitzchak Schwartz leads this “mysticalmusical” method of abolishing energy blocks and restoring natural energetic flow. Donations accepted. 7-9 p.m. Alexa Higashi Meeting Room, MACC, Kahului. 874-5397.

TUESDAY, MAY 05 Diver Guys Rock! Tour - Yes, diver guys do rock. In recognition of Boys’ Day this event allows attendees a close glimpse of a day in the life of an MOC diver. A souvenir photo is included with admission. $10 plus admission fee. 10 a.m.-2 p.m.

Maui Ocean Center, Ma`alaea. 270-7089.

Jewelry as Fashion Luncheon - Hui Noeau’s annual luncheon will showcase the stylin’ work of local crafters. 10:30 a.m. Hui No’eau Arts Center, Makawao. 249-2990.

ABCs of a Business Plan - Learn about the “Core Four” method of developming an effective plan for your business idea. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall, Kahului. 873-8247.

Kalama Intermediate Band Concert They’ve been practicing their ears off. Here’s a chance to cheer the Kalama Intermediate band on as they recite the tunes they’ve been rehearsing day in & day out. Free. 6:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC, One Cameron Way, Kahului. 242-7469.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 04/30

Friday 05/01

Saturday 05/02

Sunday 05/03

Monday 05/04– Wednesday 05/06

The Vince Esquire Band No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans, No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine, No cover

Soul Package

Flying Sheep Problem

Simply Solid $5, 10pm

iPod Sundays

MON -AnDen; TUE - Kilohana (Hawaiiana); WED Dezman

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

De Aquino Braddahs

Oren & Junior

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke

Karaoke

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LOS PELONES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-9900

LULU’S KIHEI 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Salsa Night $7, 10pm

Mickey (One Man Band) Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

Inferno Fridays $5, 10pm

JR & the Boys

Crazy Fingers Trio 9pm

Collie Budz $30, 10pm

Augie’s Comedy Crusade $15, 8pm

TUE - Cinco de Mayo w/ HWY 30 Reggae w/ DJZZ $5, 10pm

TUE - Rave Night w/DJZZ, $5, 10pm; WED - DJZZ No cover, 10pm

Kenny Roberts

TUE - WED - Neto

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MAUI BREWING CO.

Evan Shulman No cover, 9pm

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

The Silky Ringo 9pm

DJ Decka 9pm

DJ Dolla Drink $5; 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

PINEAPPLE GRILLE 200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

Da Bomb 10pm

Yoah Mama 10pm

TUE - Cinco de Mayo Fiesta feat. Byron Brown & the Derelicts & Off Tomorrow; $1

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Duh Boyz, No cover, 10pm; TUE - Ceinco de Mayo party feat. Unifires; WED - Open Mic

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Yoahmama No cover, 10pm

Keys of Creation $10, 9pm

All Access DJ Dancing $10, 10pm

Natural Vibrations $15; 9pm

Scotty Rotten

Damien Awai

Brian Como & Friends

Memories with Mom Photo Contest - Entries for this Mother’s Day contest are due May 5th. Call for more details. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

Public Access Trails Hawaii Board Meeting - Public Access Trails Hawaii is looking for volunteers to help organize hikes, identify trails, and more. PATH aims to promote public access to historical, cultural and other trails in Hawaii through research, education and advocacy. Email Monica at pathmaui@hotmail.com for more info.

WEDNESDAY, MAY 06 Maui Tech Ohana Meeting - Ian Fisher of Kite For Sail, a Maui-based developer of kite-powered sailboats, will talk about the benefits of using kites to harness wind energy for seafaring vessels. 11:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Spices Restaurant, Kihei. 875-2300.

Business Partnerships - Learn how to create an “Interpersonal Business Charter” and improve communication among business partners. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall, Kahului. 873-8247.

Farmer and Gardener Exchange - The Optimum Living Alliance hosts a local, organic gardener and farmer exchange, so bring your surplus down for trades followed by an organic, vegan living foods potluck. 4 p.m. Behind the Haiku Community Center. 573-1959.

Hana Community Concert - Maui Classical Music Festival presents this performance of timeless music for East Siders. 7-8:30 p.m. Wananalua Congregational Church, Hana. 878-2312.

Art “Art of Trash” Entries Being Accepted Daily. This exhibit will open at Maui Mall in May of 2009 and is presented by Community Work Day and Sharing Aloha. Local artists are encouraged to submit works that give new life to discarded objects. Entry forms are available at public libraries islandwide. 573-3911.

“Fresh Perspectives” Art Exhibit - Daily.

Non-traditional landscape paintings put a surreal spin on a well-worn form. The featured artists in this exhibit offer up some colorful examples of this often vivid form. Their work will be on display until

Friday, May 1. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao. 573-6000.

Artist Reception - Daily. The show is called iKons, and features recent works by Maui artist Carla Crow. 5-8p.m. 84 Hana Hwy. Paia. 579-9245.

Crosscurrents: Jun Kaneko and David Kuraoka - Daily (except Mon). The work of these two artists is wide-ranging, including drawing, painting, ceramic and glass. Both have managed to blend a number of elements in a way that renders their work unique and striking. Free. 11 a.m.-5 p.m.

Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-7469.

Meet the Artists - Daily. Every day the Four Seasons’ resident artist will be on hand to discuss his or her work. 8 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Four Seasons Resort and Spa, 3900 Alanui Drv., Wailea. 874-8000.

Silk Art Display - Daily.

Abstract silk artist Cudra Clover’s colorful pieces add another layer of texture to Maui Hands. Mon.-Sat., 10 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, 84 Hana Hyw., Paia. 579-9245.

WOW! - Wed. Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honopiilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Listings CALENDAR on mauitime.com or calendar@ mauitime.com

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques, Paia. 808-269-0961.

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs Farmers’ Market and Craft Fair - Every Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat. Great deals on locally grown produce and locally made goods. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue &

TUE - Karaoke w/ Toby, No cover, 9pm; WED - Wet Wednesdays w/ DJ Blast, $5, 10pm

Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Submit Your

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through Lahaina Town’s many art galleries. Special gallery shows, featured artists-inaction and refreshments. Each week features a different guest artist. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

TUE - DJ Dolla Drink, $5, 9pm; WED - Rock Fever Remedy

Everything Made on Maui Thu. This craft fair is tops because, as the name may indicate, it feature only products made by artisans living on island, so your dollars stay on Maui - a rare thing. 10 a.m.-3 p.m.

Keaolahou Church, 177 South Kihei Rd., Kihei. 875-1911.

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall. 872-4320.

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Canoes - Sun, Jazz w/ John Maritano, Brian Cuomo & Friends. 3-6. 1450 Front St., Lahaina.

661-0937.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Oversized Productions; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 6-8:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

5978.

Poetry Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Poetry Slam - Every First Fri. Poets 13 and over are encouraged to share their stuff with the First Friday crowd. Pieces are limited to three minutes. $5. 8 p.m. The Promenade (Wailuku Food Court), 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-3993.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

27

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 04/30

Friday 05/01

Saturday 05/02

RB STEAKHOUSE RUSTY HARPOON

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Live Music

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

2290 Kaanapali Pkwy - 661-3123

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

SANTA FE CANTINA

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

STELLA BLUE’S STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Severed Edge $3, 10pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

Karaoke

TIP-UPS TAVERN 1279 2. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

UNISAN 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

Live Music

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON - WED - Karaoke

MGM

Silky Ringo 10pm

Open Mic Night

MON - The Ladies’ Night; TUE - Cinco de Mayo Party; WED - Blues Night

808 Underground Club Night; $6, 10pm

Ola Hou

MON - WED - Karaoke

Karaoke

UFC Night

MON - Karaoke; TUE - Live Music, TBA; WED - Karaoke

Art Night w/ Poni Brendan & Lokahi

WOW-WEE MAUI’S

333 Dairy Rd., Kahului - 873-7133

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

Mulligan’s at the Wharf - Fri, Hawaiian music with Uncle Louie. 5-7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Rusty Harpoon - Thu, George Kahumoku, Jr., 79 p.m., Tue, Willie K., 7-9 p.m., Wed., Evan Schulman, 7-9 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali.

661-3123.

Santa Fe Cantina - Tue, Ryan from Silky Ringo; 5-8 p.m. Fri, Mike Carrol & Friends, 4-7 p.m. Sat, Damien Awai; 5-8 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7805.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Gina Martinelli; Sat, Monda Kane; Sun Merv Oana, Mon, Bobby Ingram & Fulton Tashombe; Tue, Rama Camarillo; Wed, Kaleo Cullen. All sets 6-9 p.m.

The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI Café Marc Aurel - Live Music on various days.

Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Kahului Ale House - Thu, O‘Kaleo. 5 p.m. Wed, Kilohana. 6 p.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului. 877-9001.

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Sea House Restaurant - Thu, Fri & Sat, Kincaid Basques; Su, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. Mon., The Hula Honeys All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

SOUTH MAUI

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; 6:30-8:30 p.m. Fri., Poni Brendan, 6:309:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Beach Bums Ma’alaea - Tue, Randall Rospond, 5-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd. 243-2286.

Haui’s Life’s A Beach - Thu, Erin Smith. 1913 South Kihei Rd., 891-8010.

Flatbread Pizza - Every first Wed, Toma Conway & Randall Rospond. 6-9 p.m. Flatbread Pizza, 89 Hana Hwy., Paia. 579-8989.

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m.

3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883

Green Banana Cafe Music - Tu, Shea Argel.

Th, Indio. 6-8 p.m. Green Banana Cafe-The Shops at Paia Bay, Paia. 579-9130.

Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works.

Wed., Kenny Roberts. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

RESORT SHOWS

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Thu, Rick Glencross Fri, Gail Swanson; 6-8 p.m.; Sun, Celtic Tigers, 6:30 p.m.; Mon, Acoustico, 7 p.m. Tue, Joyce & Gord; 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Wed, Willie K., 7:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Wed, Sat, Merv Oana; Sun, Howard Ahia Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

28

APRIL 30, 2009

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - DJ Nature Boy; WED - DJ Kidd C/DJ JP; All no cover, 10pm

Rick Vito $15, 9pm

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

WATERCRESS

Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups 9pm

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

MON - Cinco de Mayo party; WED - Chronic Cantina w/ Junior & Oren, No cover, 10pm

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

TIFFANY’S

MON - Silky Ringo;TUE - Willie K; WED, Evan Schulman

Comedy Night deat.

Emcee Brenton & DJ N8

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7805

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

Monday 05/04– Wednesday 05/06

Live Music

Kahana Gateway, Kahana - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Sunday 05/03

WEST MAUI

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234

Tiki Courtyard - Sun-Thu, Leokane, 6 p.m.

Friday, Halau Friday Hula show. 6-9 p.m.

Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Fri, Tue. Kincaid Kupahu; Sat, Coelho Morrison; Sun & Wed, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 The Lounge - Sun, Ron; -Mon, Joshua K; Tue, Tarvin; Wed, Howard, Thu, Hallie.; Fri, Espresso; Sat, Crazy Fingers. Sun-Thu 7-10 p.m., Fri-Sat 7:30-11 p.m. 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031

Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Wailea Wednesdays w/ WIllie K - Wed, 7:30-10 p.m.

See into the

future CALENDAR on mauitime.com

Lagoon Bar - Live music nightly, All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI RESORT & SPA 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music.

9-11 p.m.

Ono Bar & Grille - Fri, Brian Haia; Sat, Keali’i Lum; Sun, Raz Shaggai; Wed, Scott Baird Duo. All sets 6-9 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111

Tropica - Thu, Fri & Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat & Mon, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Keali’i Lum; Tue, Steve Sargenti; . All sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131

Umalu - Thu, Off Tomorrow, 6-9; Live music nightly All sets 4-6 & 7-9p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

7:30-8:15 p.m.

SIGNLANGUAGE

CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) When it becomes obvious that there’s little or nothing you can do about a situation besides just ride it out, it will probably be a relief. You can finally stop struggling and shoving up against an immovable wall. At that point you’ll be freed up to concentrate on other things and just play wait-and-see with this particular scenario. Think of what you can get done, now that you can stop doing battle on this one particular front! Don’t berate yourself for how much time and how many resources you squandered on a lost cause; instead focus on all the good you can do now that all those resources are at your disposal.

MISHKA

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20)

WED MAY 6 10 PM

That hottie you saw from afar has turned out to be a bit more homely upon closer inspection. That’s because you think in broad, conceptual patterns, and real life particulars can never quite live up to those ideals. You need to get better at seeing the real beauty in those very details. That might lead to the opposite scenario: the person you thought unremarkable at a distance could be stunningly gorgeous up close.

If you can get to such a place, you’ll be happier, I promise: very few people can live up to pure archetypal ideals; idiosyncratic details, however, are everywhere. Relish the beauty in those, and you’re all set.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Crying about something hasn’t reliably gotten you what you wanted since you were about five years old. Although it may continue to occasionally work, it’s still the poorest choice of possible methods to get your way. Please don’t use it unless you really have tried everything else. This should be a last-resort strategy only, if that. It’s just so liable to completely backfire and blow up in your face. While there’s a slight chance that inspired pity will swing understanding and aid your way—depending on who you apply it to—the much greater likelihood is that you’ll earn more scorn than sympathy for your troubles.

$20 • 21+ Tickets on sale now at BAMP website and at the Hard Rock Shop

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Some people just don’t know what they like. Their favorite bands are the ones a critic, radio station, or bossy older sister told them to like. They revise their private opinions of art, TV, and other people based on what their friends say. You, my friend, have rarely (if ever) had this problem. You know your own mind very well. That’s why I’m surprised that you’re so susceptible to manipulation on this one point. It’s one thing to be open-minded and flexible enough to seriously consider others’ opinions. It’s another to let them steer you in the completely wrong direction. You of all people should know better. You do, don’t you? Prove me right.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You’ll put up with a lot of bad behavior from someone you love—more than most people would tolerate. Subtract that mollifying affection, however, and you might realize just how much you’ve been taken advantage of. It may go against your very giving nature to think in such bald terms, but have you considered whether you’re partaking in a mutually beneficial exchange, or just getting a raw deal? Someone worthy of your adoration probably shouldn’t be stretching your good graces so far, wouldn’t you agree?

Stop letting them. If that means they need to be cut off from your sweetness until they learn how to deserve it, then so be it.

FIRST MONDAY OF THE MONTH

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Where on the spectrum of truth do you live? On one end, there’s just flat-out lying to serve your agenda; on the other, there’s being ruthlessly honest, even when it thwarts your own plans. Most of us hang out somewhere in the middle, telling “white lies” when it’s more convenient than the real story, or withholding information (which isn’t quite the same as lying, right?) when sharing it might make things go off the rails. Sometimes it’s tricky figuring out what, exactly is the best, or kindest, or most “right” thing to do. There’s no need to embrace extremes this week, but when in doubt about how much to say, lean towards truth.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) You’ve taken a lot of the wrong kinds of vacation in the past. Many have been loads of fun, but you arrived home exhausted and utterly unprepared to resume normal life. Others were restful but mindnumbingly dull. I have to conclude you don’t really know how to plan a proper vacation. I’m pretty sure you’re not really exercising your foresight and imagination. It might help to think of it this way—instead of imagining where you want to go, try to envision how you’d like to be when you return, ideally: inspired, energized, and full of joy. Then, with that clear image to guide you as you plan your next vacay, figure out where you need to go to get there.

MAY 4

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Some people possess remarkable intuition when dealing with other adults, but are worse than clueless when it comes to interpreting a child’s needs. Others might be great with kids, or dogs, but flounder like a fish out of water at a cocktail party. Knowing your social strengths and weaknesses is in itself a powerful asset. It’s easy enough to place yourself in situations that will make you look good, and practice the ones most likely to make you look like a dying fish. Quit flopping around in scenarios that make you have trouble catching your breath, let alone engaging in fascinating conversations. This week, stick to the scenes where you’ll shine.

Win a trip to

HARD ROCK

CALLING FRIDAY 26TH JUNE

The Killers

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) I woke up this morning convinced I’d overslept by several hours, judging by how rested I felt. I glanced at the clock and it was just my normal wake up time. I’d somehow crammed more actual rest into my normal sleep window than I thought possible. Imagine if you possessed the ability to do in two hours what would take everyone else three. What’s that? You already have such a talent? I should have known.

Luckily this week it should be easy enough to demonstrate that you can consistently do 50% more than the next guy. Make sure you do.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) If your home was invaded with roaches or ants, would you even hesitate before killing them? What if it was mice or rats? What if a troop of adorable but incredibly destructive baby monkeys came along?

Would you feel okay setting out giant traps to break their little necks, or would you finally seek a more peaceable solution, even if it’s far more complex? This week you have the opportunity and obligation to figure out just where you draw that line between convenience and ethics. I think you’ll find it’s not where you thought it would be.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) What began as charming often ends up annoying. That adorable way someone flits from topic to topic, butterfly-like, later feels like a frustrating inability to stay focused. Someone’s delightful perpetual lightheartedness could eventually reveal itself to be an unpleasant unwillingness to take anything seriously. Conversely, you may find yourself appreciating qualities you originally found irritating. My point?

First impressions aren’t everything, at least not with you. In fact, they usually don’t have much bearing on how you eventually feel about someone. Therefore, I wouldn’t trust them much.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Until someone invents reliable teleportation technology, you’re stuck driving, flying, or riding to get from place to place. There are no shortcuts, really. Similarly, trying to find a way to instantly arrive at your mental destination is a waste of time and energy. That doesn’t mean you can’t be efficient. You can be sure to take the straightest line between points A and B. But forget about skipping even an inch of the mental territory in between. Only the traditional methods of “movement” apply here. Instead of seeking some “easier” way, just get a move on—using those.

Pick up your scratch card at Hard Rock for your chance to Rock out in London

The Kooks Plus many more SATURDAY 27TH JUNE

Neil Young Fleet Foxes Ben Harper and Relentless7 Seasick Steve The Pretenders SUNDAY 28TH JUNE

Bruce Springsteen and

the E Street Band

Dave Mathews Band The Gaslight Anthem HYDE PARK, LONDON

900 FRONT STREET LAHAINA

MAUI 667-7400

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

29

CLASSIFIED

ADULT SERVICES

AAAH ... BLISS Melt to my Magical Hands Tenderly touching your Whole Body.

Delightfully Exquisite Sensual Pampering Session. Intimate & Irresistable. Exotic, elegant ambience. Men, Women and Couples Especially Invited. Come to the Enchanted Gardens 891-2700

AUTOMOTIVE BMW/ MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

NOW HIRING

~ Waves of Love ~ Sensual Pleasure ~ Irresistable Erotic Energies

GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-5216696. Ad# 4003

Chocolate Legs Available Monday thru Friday 3:30 pm - 10:00 pm, also available weekends. 250-9732

Pleasures in Paradise

Angel on Maui Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

250-6206 NAUGHTY FRISKY KITTIES Individuals • Couples • Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties

269-2483

SENSUAL BODYWORK

Incalls/Outcalls Couples Welcome

(808) 298-7905 eroticserviceproviders.com

Tantric Loving Bodywork

INANNA

Maui’s Finest Full service escorts, couples & bachelor parties Classy, professional and discreet

INCALL/OUTCALL Actual photos available upon request

(808) 357-3534

Heaven’s Hottie Secret Haiku HAWAIIAN STYLE

Sweet angel awaits you…

SERVICE PARTS ACCESSORIES FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE (#RD 3881)

MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-521-6696.

Ad#4288

FANTASY ISLAND Two girls together housecleaning, bodywork and personal assistants.

214-7042

LOCAL ADS

until 10% DISCOUNT ON March PARTS & LABOR 31, 2009

DIVINE INTERLUDES Desiring A Higher Pleasure? Heart to Heart Body to Body Bliss For Sincere Discerning Men. Experience the Goddess Heaven on Earth CALL ME- 875-8388

BLISSFUL BODYWORK Exquisite, high quality bodywork for the mature, discerning man who appreciates a deeply relaxing, wonderfully caring and sweetly sensual holistic experience. 214-7087

CLASSIFIED

808-344-5999 You’ve had the rest, now enjoy the best

Sacred Loving Arts & Enlightened Intimacy Divine Bodywork & Education for Singles, Couples, & Newlyweds Call now for information

808-344-7212 Paia

Erotic Bodywork 281-0561

Cherry

250-5808

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

Adult Experiences

264-6325

INCALLS

871-4941

276-5907

Tia’s Special Touch

For A Deliciously good time... call

HOT

Summer Rate Specials!

Call for rates

661-9222

For a Sweet & Sexy Good Time Call 280-6875 PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

878-2698

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES AMAZING OPPORTUNITY. National Sales Group in Beauty, Cosmetic & Anti-Aging Industry expanding / looking for extraordinary motivated leader w/ sales, marketing, public speaking experience. Peter Levy 1-888-880-0842 (AAN CAN)

BUY & SELL Split 20’ Container June 2009 Lahaina to LA $1450, 808-276-6365

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA COMPUTER EQUIPMENT GET A NEW COMPUTER Brand Name laptops & desktops Bad or NO Credit - No Problem Smallest weekly payments avail. CALL NOW Call 800-816-2232 (AAN CAN)

PETS

Pouchi Couture “Pamper your pouchi with style” Canine Spa Lines • Gourmet Treats Fashions • Accessories

893-BARK (2275) 400 HANA HWY • KAHULUI

Sample and download his new CD at captainbillybones.com

EMPLOYMENT

NOTICES

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Earn Extra income assembling CD cases from Home. CALL OUR LIVE OPERATORS NOW! 1-800-4057619 ext. 150 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that $600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL$$$ Helping the Government PT. No ad is a national ad and was not subExperience, No Selling. Call: 1-888-213- mitted directly to us. If you have a 5225 Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org and South Dakota. (AAN CAN)

$600 Weekly Potential $$$ Helping the Government, PT. No Experience. No Selling. Call 1-888213-5225 Ad Code: H15

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES

POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Avg. Pay $21/hour or $54K annualROOM FOR RENT ly Including Federal Benefits and $950 plus deposit, share utilities, OT. Paid Training, Vacations. PT/FT. at Lahaina Baby Beach, private 1-866-945-0295 bath. Call 870-3401 Cooks Wanted.

Da Kitchen Lahaina. E-mail Lahainakitchen@ymail.com or call 463-9990.

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO. Now Hiring for ALL POSITIONS Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina

HEALTH

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Kaimana’s Beach Hale

at Baby Beach www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month. $145-$195 a day. Your own private Ohana.

Continental breakfast served.

Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

Suffering with anxiety or depression?

Think no one understands? Lucinda Bassett does. Get her free tape that will stop the suffering without drugs or alcohol. Call 800-652-9619. (AAN CAN)

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

SERVICES AN ECONOMIC STIMULUS PLAN FOR YOU! The Most Exciting & Lucrative Income Opportunity of the Decade!

A 2X2 Re-Cycler That Pays $800 per Cycle, Including 100% Matching Bonuses! Over $1,000,000 Paid in 1st 77 days! If You Need Money Now! You Need This Today! www.regenesis2x2.com/1447 or call 800-366-1487 ext. 8200

ONLINE PHARMACY Buy Soma, Ultram, Fioricet, Prozac, Buspar $71.99/90 $107/180 Quantities, PRICE INCLUDES PREATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE SCRIPTION! Over 200 meds. $25 From Home. *Medical, Coupon Meition Offer: #71A31. 1-888*Business, *Paralegal, 661-4957. tripharmacy.net (AAN CAN) *Computers, *Criminal Justice.

Job placement assistance.

Computer available. Financial Aid PROTECT YOUR FAMILY if qualified. Call 866-858-2121 DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Get a free GE alarm system with no www.CenturaOnline.com installation fee and no equipment cost.

Offer: Most homeowners will receive an HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! Save $21/month for one year, Free Fast, Affordable & Accredited HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of insurance discount as well. Mention FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-888- HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert this ad and get 2 free keychain 532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www.con- Satellite 1-888-246-2215 (credit remotes! Promotional code: A02087 tinentalacademy.com (AAN CAN) card required) (AAN CAN) Call 888-951-5158 (AAN CAN)

MISC

30

APRIL 30, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

CLASSIFIED

MIND BODY SPIRIT

Sex life on hold?

Sex therapist with 25+ years exp. will help you overcome ED, premature ejaculation, lack of desire, shyness, fear of intimacy, communication problems. Discuss your sex & relationship concerns confidentially. Free initial phone consult. Call Dr. Bouchard today at 891-0952. www.sexhappiness.com

TANTRA MEDITATION Sundays, 10:45AM - 12:30 PM. Free. Tantra is a non-denominational spiritual discipline that weaves our vulnerability, sexuality, empowerment, love, communication, vision and spiritual energy centers—chakras—within us and between us and those we love.

Dr. Sasha and Janet Kira Lessin, in their home in Waiehu, guide mediUpcountry Bodywork with taters through non-sexual exercisRichard Experience a Swedish-based ses- es to awaken the voices chakras sion, incorporating a variety of 1371 Malaihi Road 244-4103 therapeutic bodyworks. Deep schooloftantra@aol.com Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology and Sports Stretching. Schedule a MASSAGE relaxing and healing session by LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY calling 280-8557 Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable High Touch Jin Shin Jyutsu Experience profound healing Haiku Lanai by a Certified LMT results with Jin Shin. This afford- $60/hr. For Pregnancy Massage, able and effective technique bal- Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call ances all body systems. Reiki and Susan 276-2114. Same day appts.

Cranial Sacral also offered. Call: available. MAT#8984 Wendy Areus at 283-9248

Green Ti

HEALING HANDS M4M Experience whole body, therapeutic, and nurturing touch for men using a variety of healing energy modalities. In-calls as well as outcalls, serving all of Maui. Call 1877-303-2009.

SOOTHING HEARTFELT BODYWORK Releases Aches and Pains.

Powerfully Transformative!

Balancing Body, Mind & Soul.

Relax & let go, relief guaranteed, please call 875-8399. Let your spirit soar ...

Find Maui’s Holistic Events!

Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings.

New June/July Maui Vision Magazine Coming Soon! Call 669-9091 for info.

Traditional Swedish Bodywork Clean, professional & caring.

Swedish, deep tissue, sports, myofascial and relaxation bodywork. I am available for both incall 50$/hour and outcall 60$/hour. 8 am-10 pm. Monday through Sunday. Call Nicky for appt. at 808-205 7199 COMPASSIONATE BODYWORK. RELAX painful stressed muscles using a variety of techniques including heated stone. Fabulous homemade organic facials and organic detox body wraps/scrubs/waxing also available. Great prices, island-wide availability. Call Zoe at 463-1771

VIBE-RANT results on TurboSonic in 10 minutes:

MASSAGE: 50 min. Swedish - $55

Awakening Body and Soul Chakra, Aura & Body Reading, Clearing & Healing Lightbody and DNA Activation Emotional and Spiritual Counseling Sacred Love and Intimacy Sessions Transformational Healing Massage and Bodywork Deep Tissue Massage

Burns 290 calories • Treats Osteoporosis Ask about • Relieves muscle tension our special • Anaerobic & aerobic excercise $10 trial!

• Reduces joint & ligament stress • Improves blood & lymph circulation A great compliment to acupuncture and/or massage •

Book today:

249.8280

MA Psychology, Certified Tantra Educator MAT#8003

Traditional Japanese Acupuncture • Herbs • Skin/Body Restoration

Call 808 283 3880

Sophianada Rowan, MA

www.sacredhealingheart.com

Mat#8279

The Golden Lotus

Authentic THAI Bodywork

Angel Readings

Ancient Techniques Herbs • Balms •

•

Akashic Readings

just

DNA Activation/Reprogramming

Boutique & Massage

for a FULL HOUR session!

(Deep Tissue Upgrade - $10)

COUNSELING Holotropic Breathing, relationships, personal growth, pastlife regression, spirit releasement, Psychological Fitness Training, Gestalt, Voice Dialogue, Tantra, Existential Analysis, shamanic journeywork. Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin, P.T.S. 244-4921 Alternative Therapies Create new feelings, behaviors, physical health.

Counseling, EMDR, Hypnotherapy, PSYCH-K and more. Depression, anxiety, stress, weight, pain, any issue!

Most insurance accepted.

Maribeth Theisen, MSW, LCSW, CHt. Kihei. www.MauiTransformations.co m. 269-2923.

Turbosonic Vibrational Therapy

Call NOM in Pukalani 344-2695

Loving Bodywork Specialist, Sophia 808.205.4168

Enlighted Master Bodywork Specialist

Talk Story Therapy

Unique Gifts, Local Artist Jewelry, Therapeutic Products, Aromatherapy

Individuals • Couples Family Counseling

Massage • Gifts 40 N. Market St. Wailuku • 242-8788 Open 7 Days M-W 10-6 Th/Fr 10-7 • Sat-Sun 9-5

FREE CONSULTATION

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

• Stress & Anxiety • Depression • Marriage & • Substance Abuse Sabrina Lee Dixon Relationships & Addictions M.A. Clinical Psychology • Family & Parenting • Life Challenges Talk Story Therapist

Spa Sessions Hot Tub/Bodywork Nurturing & Pampering

NORTHSHORE ARTS & HEALING CENTER

Krystal - 864-0416

161 Hana Hwy • Paia • 344-0230 sabrina@northshorearts-healingcenter.org

Upcountry Area TRADITIONAL

STOREWIDE

SALE! • • • • • •

NEW GLASS HAVAIANAS & TEES CUSTOM HATS YOGA PANTS/HARDTAIL MEN’S WEAR NIIHAU SHELL JEWELRY

Alice In Hulaland 19 Baldwin Ave Paia 579-9922

50% OFF ALL CLOTHES & PURSES

Green Lotus • Cystals • Minerals • • Asian Art • Jewelry • Open 10am - 5pm Tuesday - Saturday

244.2300

THAI BODY WORK

Pan

With Thai Herbs and Balms $

45

Located Upcountry, Daily 9-7

298-8869 9 years experience

A Spa Wailuku...

REJUVENATING THE SENSES

SPA PARTY

Free massage, food, fun (Every Sunday in May)

Mother’s Day Special May 10 Nikole (LMT)

244-4444

1325 Lower Main Street, Ste. 101

1816 Mill Street • Wailuku

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 30, 2009

31

WE BUY GOLD & SILVER • Cash in on today’s high prices Serving Maui for 32 years!

10K Class Rings.......................$20.00 - $3500.00 14K Wedding Bands..................$15.00 - $450.00 14K Charms..................................$5.00 - $500.00 14K Bracelets...........................$10.00 - $1500.00 Gold Bridges/Dental.................$85.00 - $1200.00 Higher prices for gold chains!

46 N. Market Street • Wailuku, HI 96793 • (808) 242-5555

HIGH VISIBILITY! LOW COSTS! BACK SIDE CLASSIFIEDS WORK! CALL (808) 283-3260 for complete details!

42 ft. Bertram Sportfishers

FREE (808)

667-2774

Toll Free 1-800-590-0133

I’AO ACUPUNCTURE & SPA VIBEbrational Special!

In only 10 minutes achieve real results: burn 290 cals, treat osteoporosis, relieve muscle tension, restless leg syndrome, depression, anaerobic/aerobic exercise, improve blood & lymph circulation. Ask about our special $10 trial. A great compliment with Acupuncture &/or Massage. Call: 249.8280

Anew Tattoo Your Pain is our Pleasure

For an appointment with Nancy or Hano call 808872-1113. Private tattoo studio by appointment.

Email inquires to tat2oasis@yahoo.com, or view gallery at myspace.com/wwwpiratebitchcom.

Anchored at the Harbor, 111 Hana Hwy, #202B, Kahului. Above Bounty Music in the back. Come by to enter our Raffle: all the pain you can take!

Tune in to 97.3 on Fri & Sat for more info.

(#RD 3881)

Yellow Seed Bamboo

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

On The UPside with TERI MAUI’S HOTTEST “CALL-IN” RADIO PROGRAM Tune in every FRIDAY at *NOON* on KNUI 900 AM. Call in 808-871-5900. Check us LIVE online at www.stickam.com/terionupside,

Air Maui Helicopter Tours 2 for 1 Special!

ELECTRIC EEL TATTOO IS NOW OPEN IN LAHAINA!

“Crazy Chris” and “Hano” are now offering Custom Tattoos, Body Piercing and Laser Tattoo Removal at their new shop located at 840 Wainee Street, next to Maui Tacos. 661-7711 electriceeltattoo.com

HEMP

Maui’s ACCESSORIES TOO! ORIGINAE L SMOK SHOP!

Anthony Pignataro's new book is

now available!

Royal Kahana Studio

features!

Buy it online at

www.mauitime.com

3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

AFFORDABLE PERSONAL CHEF WITH 12 YEARS EXPERIENCE

Former owner of “Orgasmically Gourmet Catering” is creating gourmet individual menus using local organic fruits & vegetables as well as organic fish and meats. Specializing in persons sensitive to food allergies. Designed to help support overall health; included is juicing and creating sugar free desserts.

Also menus designed to restore prostate health.

I’ve catered workshops for Charles & Caroline Mure and Sasha Lessin. Call Greg at: (808) 2644637 greg@mauiunderground.us

Large Luxury Studio Condo for Rent in Kihei

Fully Furnished, Full Kitchen, Mountain and Pool Views. Wiireless Internet, Phone, Most Utilities.

Available June 1 for 3 to 6 months. $1000 per month, photos available at vrbo.com/58185 call 269-3333 for more details.

$2 Tacos every Tuesday, all day long! Located in the Dolphin Plaza, Kihei. Call 875-2910 for orders to go.

D R . ROBERT LEY Comprehensive Pain Management

Former Maui Time Editor

best

878-2698

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS

TACO TUESDAY AT PRE-FORECLOSURE CONDOS TAQUERIA CRUZ! Kihei and Central Maui locations. Prices from $54,900 and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group, LLC

33 of his

SERVICE • PARTS • ACCESSORIES FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE

DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2009. For reservations call 877-7005

Specializing in Glass Art, Jewelry, Crystals, Water Pipes, Incense, Tobacco Accessories, Rasta Gear and more!

BMW / MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

• Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls • Towing • Extended Warranty Service • Custom & Performance Products & Installation • Collision Repair • Restorations • Detailing • Tires • Wheels • Mufflers • Batteries • Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is (16 caught in 2006)

10% DISCOUNT ON til April PARTS & LABOR 30th, 2009

paid $440,000 now $239,000

Southpointe 2bd/1.5ba

paid $280,000 now $169,999

Keonekai Villages 2bd/1ba paid $298,000 now $180,000

Josh Jerman, Broker 808.283.2222 Direct Josh@joshjerman.com www.JoshJerman.com

• Spinal Trauma and Orthopedic Injuries • Neurologic Injuries & Diseases • Chronic Neck and Back Pain • Shoulder, Knee & Hip Pain Helping Patients to Find Exceptional Surgical Care and Alternative Therapies NOW OPEN IN OUR NEW LOCATION 411 Huku Lii Place - Suite 301 • Kihei

875-7595

3rd Floor • South Shore Plaza “the only 3 story building in the area”

Maui’s Smoker

SUPER STORE with Mainland/Online Prices!

X

• Detox Kits 420 420 • Drug Tests • Blunt Wraps Huku Lii Pl • Digital Scales • Hookas Piilani Hwy • Shisha 80+ Flavors www.HawaiianHolySmokes.com et

side

SPORTFISHING

The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

Ohuka iS tre

back

We beat any legitimate competitive offer!

LOCATED at 320 Ohukai, #404 • Kihei

808•879•2826