12.43 Native Wisdom, April 16, 2009, Volume 12, Issue 43, MauiTime

THURSDAY, APRIL 16

2009

VOLUME 12

ISSUE 43

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CONTENTS

VOLUME 12 • ISSUE 43

4 MAUI COUNTY

10

A smoker says he’ll keep puffing, tax hikes and cancer be damned, in Letters. Rob Report is sick of being sick and of other stuff too.

Response to last week’s feature waltzes into LC Watch. Eh Brah! barks at a bad dog owner.

Some dude tries to glue antlers on a deer in News of the Weird. Click of the Week surfs with a gay fish. Monk seals get federal funding in Coconut Wireless.

10 FEATURE STORY THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What movie title best sums up your year so far?

Editor: Jacob Shafer (808) 283-1308 / jacob@mauitime.com ‘Parenthood’ Calendar Editor/Staff Writer: Kate Bradshaw (808) 264-8039 / calendar@mauitime.com ‘No Country for Old Men’ Proofreader: Heather Nicholson Contributors: Jessica Armstrong, Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Beau Ewan, Jared Libby, Greg Mebel, Rob Parsons, Ron Pitts, Doug Levin, Chuck Shepherd, Ynez Tongson, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower ‘The Color of Money’ Art Director: Brittany Shaw (808) 269-2911 / brittany@mauitime.com ‘The Pursuit of Happyness’ Graphic Designer: Kellee LaVars ‘Apocalypse Now’ Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com ‘Apocalypto’ General Manager: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com ‘Monsters vs. Aliens’ Administrative Executive: Judy Toba (808) 244-0777 / judy@mauitime.com ‘Amores Perros’ Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown ‘Happy Feet’

Set to appear with noted Buddhist peace activist Sulak Sivaraksa this week at the MACC, UH-Hilo professor and Native Hawaiian advocate Manu Meyer discusses the economic meltdown, indigenous wisdom and why looking back may be the best way to move forward.

13 ONO KINE GRINDS Da Smoothie Shack in Kahului keeps gym rats full of fuel.

15 BOM BALLOT Cast your vote in over 100 categories for our annual Best of Maui.

19 MUSIC SCENE Kate tests the waters with new Maui outfit Fish Tank.

20 FILM Barry Wurst II watches Observe and Report and says the world didn’t need another comedy about a mall security guard.

21 Movie Listings

Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com

22 DA KINE CALENDAR

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com ‘The Matrix’

Kate previews the week’s top haps, including a bunch of Earth Day festivities and a talk about fair elections. (Wow, what are those?)

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2008 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person.

No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com

24 Calendar Listings 26 Grid

29 BACK PAGES

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30 Classifieds 31 Mind, Body, Spirit

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

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PUFF LOVE Thanks for sticking up for smokers [Coconut Wireless, April 2]. Don’t see that very often. I’m not proud of my habit, but I’m not ashamed either. We all have vices. Why should mine get targeted and taxed more than all the others? Because of secondhand smoke? Gimme a break.

How about all the drunk drivers who kill people on the road, or the drunks that beat their wife and kids or rape some poor girl in the parking lot of a bar? Or what about all the obese people who eat Jack in the Box for every meal and clog up our medical system and drive the cost up for the rest of us? All these things have a social price. Why are tobacco users the only ones that have to pay?

Also, if knowing that I’ll probably die of lung cancer someday doesn’t make me quit (and it hasn’t yet), having to pay an extra buck for a pack sure won’t. The government, as usual, is clueless.

D.K., Wailuku

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Are you right because you thought the Superferry was to be for military use all along and it happened [Coconut Wireless, April 9]? Have you thought that it might not have happened if the damn thing was allowed to run as planned? What do you expect the boat to do? Sit around and wait for us all to cry for it to come back? The people that financed that boat are going to get the money out of it any way they can now that Hawaii has taken a big ole dump on the poop deck. Don’t be so satisfied with yourself. I was looking forward to “driving” to the Big Island one day until you and the other “I like Maui the way it was when I got here” bastards helped to mess up the whole thing.

Now I’m forced pay four times the price and have it take 40 times as long to get a vehicle out there or to here on Young Bros. Way to look out for the people Maui Time! Good job— why does my ass hurt?

Kukui, posted at mauitime.com

DROPPING THEIR BALLS

MAUI’S ONLY CLASSIC ROCKER

A little comedy, a little vicodin, a little haole on the mic, a lot of great rock ‘n’ roll Tune In! Friday 4/17 Tommy Russo & Jacob Shafer Guest DJ’s 5-6pm

4

APRIL 16, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Kudos to Jacob Shafer for his on-spot piece about the state senators who, far more concerned with re-election than justice, ran with their tails between their legs from the civil union bill [“Courage and cowardice,” April 2]. Apparently it is a requirement to have your spine and ala‘alas

removed to do the job. All it took was a little noise from the sanctimonious religious right to change their minds; separation of church and state: what a farce. I wonder how they would have voted on other historical legislation such as women’s voting rights, interracial marriage and the abolition of slavery, all of which the religious right opposed, using the same old tired Bible-banging excuses they use again and again (yawn). Happy that the few senators who did support the bill are still “intact” and will someday be recognized as champions of social justice.

Linda Lingle is silent on the top—I guess she was too busy coming up with new plans to screw the Hawaiians out of their land to even notice.

Al Davidson, Haiku

DIG THE SCENE I have really enjoyed your Music Scene page. You’ve covered a great cross-section of local bands that don’t get the ink they deserve. Hopefully it will inspire people to get out and support these musicians.

Remember: you can’t complain about our scene if you stay home and watch American Idol.

Dave the Maui Music Lover, Kihei

TRUTH AND CONSEQUENCES Right on Rob Parsons, once again you’re right on the mark [“Don’t worry, be happy,” April 9]. Too many folks think that once we all have electric cars, everything will be just fine and we can get back to shopping. The truth of just how much everything must shift is so much larger then most people realize.

Nevertheless, it’s rapidly coming! By the way, if ignorance is bliss, why aren’t more people happy?

Bodhi Be, posted at mauitime.com

SEND YOUR FEEDBACK to the editor via e-mail (editor@mauitime.com), post (Editor’s Inbox, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

We reserve the right to edit letters.

Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of Maui Time Weekly.

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Wrath of El Gripe

Question and dancer

Dealing with aches and distress inside and out t began innocently enough with a dull headache, the sort one who has spent far too long in front of the computer or television might suffer. But soon to follow was a bodyache as if the barometer had just plummeted two points, and a metallic taste in my mouth. Okay, whoever you are, you now have my attention.

Soon my stomach was as topsyturvy as if I’d just stepped off the Tilta-Whirl. I searched my memory for anything I’d eaten earlier in the day from the tainted food group, whose best known members are the Tres Banditos: expired mayonnaise; fuzzy salsa; and bad sushi. Nothing of the sort came to mind.

I

cash: You might want to invest in an energy audit, and soon, before the next rise in oil prices. Besides the excessive air conditioning, every light fixture in the waiting room was on, in spite of the fact that two of its walls are glass windows. Please don’t get me started on the food vending machines, especially the one peddling Fat Boy ice cream sandwiches. Job security for the hospital folks, no doubt.

Assessing my symptoms as I clutched my cramping belly, our Lithuanian house guest Vilma, just in from Costa Rica, proclaimed, “Oh, you have gree-pay.” Don’t even think of trying to say it out loud on your own unless you are very adept at rolling your ‘r’s.

Before El Gripe had me fully in his clutches, we took Vilma to town to get treatment for a lingering ailment that followed her here from Central America. Word to the infirm: If you are planning a medical emergency, dress as if you are driving up to Haleakala Crater. Yes folks, the Maui Memorial emergency room waiting area is that cold.

I spotted a friend I hadn’t seen in a few years and sat next to him. He said he was told they keep it chilled to minimize spreading germs. Hmmm. If I were a virus cruising the ER, I think I’d get my chilly little infectious self to a warm body as quickly as I could, so I’m not completely sure I buy their strategy.

Soon, my buddy beckoned a uniformed police officer to come over.

“Hey pal,” he said to the cop, “do you think you could go to the back and get me a blanket, cuz I’m freezing my butt off here.” The officer obliged, and my friend had soon wrapped himself like a burrito.

Memo to hospital administrators asking the state for more operating

Kate Bradshaw’s feature about Maui Dance Advocates’ First Amendment battle with the LC generated a lot of reader feedback. Here’s a sampling:

ack home in Haiku after the long ER visit, I surfed the waves of aches and cramps, occasionally rising to glance at the computer for some news. I soon sensed that my own internal distress was mirroring some greater signs of discord in our community.

B

If you are planning a medical emergency, dress as if you are driving up to Haleakala Crater. The hospital waiting room is that cold.

An e-mail marked “urgent” grabbed my attention. Sent by a DLNR ‘Ahihi-Kina‘u ranger, it read: SPREAD THE WORD!! Two days ago, a friend’s two sons were mobbed and beaten by a dozen local boys in Makena.

Her sons were fishing with a friend. The boys surrounded her 15-year-old son and beat him to a pulp. He knew 3 of the boys and they talked then suddenly began beating him. When his adult brother approached to see what was happening they beat him too. Both boys have extensive injuries. After the beating they stole everything from their truck. THIS HAS HAPPENED BEFORE AND APPARENTLY IS HAPPENING A LOT. Alaka‘i mentioned it over the radio this morning. If you know of ANYONE who is fishing or swimming in Kihei down to the Makena area, PLEASE LET THEM KNOW ABOUT THIS!! This gang of boys has the same tattoos below their ears. They are downright vicious and don’t care about hurting their own.

I forwarded the message, which came from a credible source, to the mayor, police chief and councilmembers. Two council staffers took time to write back.

Having heard nothing more in the papers or elsewhwere, one can only pray that justice will be served and Maui’s south side beaches will once again be made safe through proper enforcement and community vigilance.

LC Watch

“A healthy body is a guest chamber for the soul; a sick body is a prison.” -Francis Bacon, Sr.

The Superferry Supreme Court decision seemed not to have put the issue to rest, but to have roiled up the choppy waters even more. Glancing at the Maui News letters page, I was surprised to see my name called out by a letter-writer: Thank you to Lucienne de Naie, Karen Chun, Irene Bowie, Isaac Hall, Rob Parsons, Lance Collins, Mark Sheehan and Kai Nishiki for putting 250 people of Hawaii’s working-class families out of work... Kudos to Maui Tomorrow and the Sierra Club. It goes to show just how out of touch you people are with kama‘aina like local farmers, canoe club paddlers, drag racers, motorcycle clubs, rodeo participants, organized sporting events, hula halau and U.H. athletes. They counted on the see WRATH, page 8

“Thanks for writing this. As a small person who loves to dance, I am intimidated by going onto those crowded floors. I think I should have the right to dance where I please. If I flail around too much they can kick me out.

Saying you can’t dance because you might get out of control would be the same as saying you can’t drink because you might puke. It’s called individual responsibility and it comes with individual freedom… Love the cover photo! That is hilarious. You guys rock… That cover was terrible.

Disrespectful and ugly…. Nobody has taken the right to dance away.

All it says is that it will be in designated areas. And all I see is that it is for the safety of all patrons of bars and cubs. If you love dancing so much that you will make a fuss about it, then you are definitely not one of those that are afraid to hop on a dance floor in front of people. Give me a break people— if the rhythm moves you, you can bob your head or raise your arms.

But if you need to move your body find some room to do it, like on a dance floor…

Let the state bear the burden of proof that dancing is harmful. What the hell was the catalyst for the dancing ban to begin with? Whose idea was it?

Can we make that person stand up and explain himself?… I’ll dance where I please! Eff you LC if you try to tell me I can’t. Also, don’t they try to ban swearing too?…

Hey, is it just me or is this story a lot like that Kevin Bacon movie?”

- Jacob Shafer

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

5

EH BRAH!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

ehbrah@mauitime.com To the irresponsible dog owners in Lahaina: I hope your attitude about your dog’s bad behavior is not an example of Maui dog owner attitudes in general. As I was walking toward a dive shop just north of Dickenson Street last week, your dog came at me in an aggressive manner, barking and snarling. I stopped, faced the dog and started to back away. When your dog continued to approach, I was forced to swing my bag and hit him and managed to land a few good blows. I only wish there had been something heavy in the bag like lead weights instead of the towel and swimsuit. Your asinine response to me was that it was my fault the dog reacted the way he did—rather than scold your dog and kick his ass for the unacceptable behavior. Both you and your dog need an attitude adjustment.

6

APRIL 16, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

NEWSOFTHEWEIRD DO THEY CURE THEIR OWN MEAT?

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

wouldn’t focus.” However, the boyfriend made it work. “He’s a very talented guy.”

Eventually, the photos made it to the Internet, with her cooperation.

Last year, a group of doctors in Riga, Latvia, opened Hospitalis, a medical-themed restaurant whose dining room resembles an OR, with “nurse” waitresses bringing food on gurneys, accessorized with syringes and forceps in addition to knives and forks and with drinks served in beakers and test tubes. Hospitalis’ signature dish is a cake with edible toppings that resemble fingers, noses and tongues.

ALIGNMENT PROBLEM, INDEED Christos Kokkalis, 19, allegedly doing 65 mph in a 30 mph zone, was charged with assault in Framingham, Mass., in March, for reacting badly to a pedestrian’s hand gesture suggesting he slow down.

According to a police report, Kokkalis swerved across a street into the man’s path, drove by, turned around and did it again. The report said Kokkalis denied fault, claiming that his car “turns on its own” because of an “alignment” problem.

OH, DEER It was thought to be the backwoods version of an “urban legend,” but the Vermont Fish and Wildlife Department reported in March its first documented case of a deer hunter attempting to avoid detection after shooting a doe (instead of the permissible buck) by gluing antlers onto its head. Marcel Fournier, 19, used epoxy and lag bolts, said a game warden, but the finished product looked awkward because of the angle of placement and the size mismatch of the antlers. (Fournier was jailed for 10 days and fined, and had his license revoked.)

CARVED FOR ATTENTION In March, Dominique Fisher, a “tattooist,” received a probation-type sentence by Britain’s Burnley Crown Court despite having carved her name and other marks with a box cutter on her new lover’s body while he was passed out. She and Wayne Robinson had been on a four-day drinking binge, and he panicked when he sobered up. However, Fisher said that Robinson knew all along that she did tattoos and told him, “I thought you’d like it.”

LABIA OF LOVE

WHAT GOES AROUND, COMES AROUND

“It was initially just an experiment,” said the 26-year-old Sebastopol, Calif., midwife apprentice who last year talked her boyfriend into photographing her cervix for 33 straight days so that she could chart its physical changes while monitoring her own mood, libido and body temperature.

It was not easy, she told the Santa Rosa Press-Democrat in February.

“It’s so dark in there [that] even with [a lamp shining on it], the camera

Angel Galvan-Hernandez, 26, facing a long prison term after being convicted in a Seattle court, begged the judge in February to execute him, that he’d rather die “a thousand times” than be jailed. The reason, he said, was his fear of being raped in prison because of his petite frame and his history of being attacked as a youth.

He admitted that he was a coward, “but I just don’t want to be raped.” His crime: He had pleaded guilty to raping two women. MTW

‘CLICK’ OF

BY THE

NUMBERS

4.7 percent Amount by which individual income tax collections in Hawaii have declined so far this year compared to 2008

32.2 percent Amount by which corporate income tax collections have declined

1 Hawaii’s rank on a list of the best states to avoid “frequent mental distress”

20.6 million Number of hits yielded by a Google search for the words “Obama” and “healthcare.”

71.6 million

VOTE ONLINE AT WWW.MAUITIME.COM

Number of hits yielded by a search for “Obama,” “Bo” and “dog”; the Obamas adopted a puppy named Bo this week Sources: Hawaii Department of Taxation, American Journal of Preventative Medicine, Google.com, Honolulu Advertiser, Pacific Business News

2009

THE WEEK

South Park—which, despite its crude content and cruder animation, is somehow one of the longest running shows on television—used to be a lot funnier.

In recent years it’s become too self-referential and developed a creativity-stifling obsession with being “topical.”

That said, they still toss out the occasional gut-busting gem. To wit: “Gay Fish,” a music video featuring Kanye West, the self-proclaimed “voice of his generation,” spreading his fins as an icthyosexual. Whether you view it as an isolated bit of randomness or in the context of the whole episode (where it’s still pretty random), this ditty is guaranteed to make you smile and perhaps even guffaw, provided you leave your politically correct outrage pants in the drawer. -JS

Find it at… southparkstudios.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

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ROBREPORT WRATH, continued from page 5 Superferry for their traveling needs.

The kama‘aina most affected by your actions are the physically disabled.

You have stopped the ability to transport vehicles that are individually tailored for their comfort and needs.

For many of these individuals, who looked forward to this mode of transportation, that ability has been eliminated by self-centered, narrowminded motives. Thank you for making life even harder on us kama‘aina.

-Sol F. Haunapuka Jr., Haiku.

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

planning and government collusion with the ferry service merely revealed the social divide, rather than creating it.

I rallied from the grips of the big, bad flu long enough to write to Maui Economic Development Board, which oversees the Focus Maui Nui vision process. The response I received said, in part: The ad is not a reflection of any position of MEDB nor Focus Maui Nui on the Superferry. The ad is, as it has always been, a voice of an individual about his or her community. That being said, we can certainly understand now how this one can— and has been—misconstrued to be other-

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

I soon sensed that my own internal distress was mirroring some greater signs of discord in our community.

I pondered who was picked for the elite list to be blamed for Superferry’s demise, and also those who didn’t make the list. Besides omitting vital details about the ferry’s departure— such as that it had been losing money steadily since operations began—the list of those who could benefit sounded too much like a company press release. I set out to look up Mr. Haunapuka in the phone book to see if he really existed.

Before even opening the directory, I had my answer. With hauna meaning “stink” and puka meaning “hole,” no self-respecting Hawaiian would ever take such a surname. The writer was hiding behind a fictitious moniker. Ironic, too, that the entire list he or she named fits the traditional definition of kama‘aina as longtime Hawaii residents, with two of them actually born and raised here.

Soon after, I was alerted to an uncharacteristic ad placed by Focus Maui Nui, published in three newspapers. Under their teal and olive logo, the phrase, “Many Voices, One Vision” stood above a photo of a man wearing maile and kukui lei. Underneath the five top Focus Maui Nui values, including No. 2, “Protect the Natural Environment,” was Kahu Rennie Mau’s quote: “Growing up in Hawaii we know that just because it’s a law doesn’t make it pono. We should honor our ocean-traveling heritage— Imua Superferry!”

Since when, I wondered, did one of Focus Maui Nui’s values become promoting lawlessness? What possible edifying value could such an ad have in resolving the community rift over Superferry? Or maybe the botched

wise and will be more sensitive about sentiments that could be expressed in the piece.

A colleague told me his reply message was exactly the same as the one I received, so I never felt my inquiries about the criteria and process for approving such a bizarre message were adequately addressed. till in El Gripe’s clutches, I cancelled meetings, pushed work obligations to the side. Convalescence, with the capable and loving help of my wife Heather, became my focus. Patiently, I faced the days with the resolve that this too shall pass.

Soon, good news arrived, in the form of a press release from Earthjustice. A preliminary decision had been reached on returning stream flows to Na Wai Eha, the four once-mighty waters of Kahalawai, or the West Maui Mountains. Upon final approval by the Commission for Water Resource Management, the long-awaited decision could restore as much as 34.5 million gallons per day to the Waihe‘e River and Waikapu, ‘Iao and Waiehu Streams.

It is likely the decision will be contested by the Hawaiian Commercial & Sugar Company’s parent corporation, Alexander & Baldwin and by Wailuku Water Company, nee Wailuku Sugar, then Wailuku Agribusiness. But A&B might be more intent on trying to retain hold of a portion of the stream water for domestic use, as it has proposed building a 9 million gallon per day water treatment facility on land it owns near Waiale, and splitting the output with the county.

That, too, will likely require legal wrangling and public debate before the waters calm.

Finally, special thanks to Heather for sticking by me through sickness and everything else. Happy anniversary, darling! MTW

S

MAUICOUNTY

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

BY JACOB SHAFER JACOB@MAUITIME.COM

Bertram says he opposes long prison sentences for nonviolent offenders: “With so many people in prison, we either have the most evil people on Earth or incarceration is counterproductive.” He also takes aim at undercover entrapment tactics: “[S]o much time and money is being spent on sting operations when that money should be spent on ‘real’ victims.”

Though I don’t necessarily agree that a 52-year-old man soliciting a young teenager online is a “nonviolent” crime (violence doesn’t always mean direct, immediate physical harm), I think Bertram makes some interesting points.

Even if you disagree with him completely, there’s no denying he sticks to his principles, political fallout be damned. That’s a rare quality in an elected official— though not always a good way to win elections. Be interesting to see how Joe fares when his seat comes up again in 2010.

Don’t worry little fella, cash is on the way.

THURSDAY, APRIL 9

Photo by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 8 Say what you will about Rep. Joe Bertram, the man is not afraid of controversy. Bertram, the secondterm state representative from Maui’s 11th District, has previously been the target of criticism (and accolades) for his support of medical marijuana and same-sex unions. But those hotbutton issues seem downright frigid compared to the most recent Bertram-related brouhaha. Last week, Joe testified at the sentencing hearing of a friend who was caught using the Internet to solicit a “14year-old girl” who turned out to be an undercover cop. At the hearing, Bertram called his friend’s misdeed an “imaginary crime.” Predictably, the attacks came hard and fast. A Republican-backed anti-Bertram radio spot began airing yesterday.

The spot features the voice of Mark Klass, father of Polly Klass, the Northern California girl whose abduction and murder created a media sensation in the mid-’90s.

Though I’ve yet to hear it, Klass reportedly says Bertram “stands out” among “bad politicians.” In a Viewpoint piece printed in today’s Maui News, Bertram attempts to clarify his remarks and explain why he supported his friend, Mark Marcantonio of Makawao. Bertram says he doesn’t condone Marcantonio’s actions and spoke at his hearing because he “mistakenly assumed” he would receive a mandatory minimum sentence of 10 years (Marcantonio plead guilty to a lesser charge and got nine months).

According to a story in today’s Maui News, Molokai Properties Ltd. is looking to raise water rates on the island “by five times or more…in order to turn a modest 2 percent a year profit.” (The PUC has blocked the request for the moment, but given their history of caving to the demands of utilities I’d say Molokaians should prepare to see their water bills go up again in the near future.) Here’s the crux of the problem: that 2 percent profit may be “modest,” but it’s still a profit. And why, I shout yet again into the howling winds of free market capitalism, are we still running essential services like healthcare and water on a for-profit basis?

I keep hearing how Obama is going to turn the country into a socialist republic.

I eagerly await evidence to back that up.

FRIDAY, APRIL 10 No, giving gobs of oversight-free cash to foundering banks and insurance companies doesn’t count.

credit card and quickly lose hope. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m gonna grab an extra large pepperoni and a case of Heineken— swimsuit season is just around the corner.

SUNDAY, APRIL 12 Happy Easter, everyone. I’ll leave the cute photos of kids and eggs and sunshine to others, and instead mark the occasion with a snippet from the late Bill Hicks, one of stand-up comedy’s most brilliant, caustic minds: “I was over in Australia during Easter, which was interesting. Interesting to note they celebrate Easter the same way we do: commemorating the death and resurrection of Jesus by telling our children a giant bunny rabbit left chocolate eggs in the night. Why those two things? Why not ‘a goldfish left Lincoln Logs in your sock drawer’? As long as we’re making shit up, go hog wild. At least a goldfish with a Lincoln Log on its back going across your floor to your sock drawer has a miraculous connotation.”

SATURDAY, APRIL 11 I’m not going to re-print the particulars because I don’t want to inadvertently give the guy a plug, but I got an e-mailed press release this morning from a nameless diet “guru.” Here’s the subject head: “Drink Beer and Eat Pizza for 6-Pack Abs.” The fact that someone has taken the time to write a book on this subject and promote it suggests that there are still suckers, er, people who respond to that sentence with something other than a dismissive scoff.

The recession has led to a glut of stories about how Americans are realizing you can’t get something for nothing, that pyramid schemes tend to crush the folks on the bottom and our greatest national resource is our bootstrap-tugging hard work. I almost want to believe it—then I see things like that e-mail, realize some poor slob is reaching for his maxed-out

MONDAY, APRIL 13 Good news for Hawaii’s endangered monk seals: Congress has approved nearly $6 million to fund monitoring and conservation efforts. That’s about $2 million more than was appropriated last year,

according to an AP report. I can already see the steam emanating from John McCain’s ears… In other, related news: Interesting item in today’s Honolulu Advertiser about how federal stimulus money for Hawaii’s schools is coming with strings attached, in the form of stricter performance standards.

Educators say it’s unrealistic to expect them to meet the higher standards, since Gov. Lingle is planning to slash the education budget by about $90 million before doling out the federal cheese. Of course, despite bottom-of-the-heap test scores, Hawaii actually spends more perpupil than 38 other states according to U.S. Census Bureau data, so clearly funding isn’t the only issue.

TUESDAY, APRIL 14 More bad news for newspapers, printed in a newspaper (because I know you haven’t had enough of that): Pacific Business News reports that Marriott International Inc. will now give complimentary newspapers only to guests who request them.

The hotel chain—which offers the Wall Street Journal, USA Today or the local daily—estimates the move will mean almost 20 million fewer papers a year being shoved under doors. Look out pillow mint industry—you’re next. MTW

OVERHEARD...

“What kind of bait do you use to catch whales?”

- Woman on the bus to Lahaina

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

9

ne is a noted Buddhist peace activist from Thailand and a friend of the Dalai Lama; the other is a Harvard-educated Native Hawaiian advocate and associate professor at UH-Hilo. But while culture and background may separate Sulak Sivaraksa and Dr. Manulani Meyer, they are united by a common vision.

Both believe free market capitalism and corporate globalization have run off the rails.

Both feel that a new social and economic model, one that encompasses all the world’s people and honors the wisdom of indigenous cultures, is necessary and inevitable.

And both will appear this week at the MACC. The title of their joint talk—and of Sulak’s new book, published by Maui-based Koa Books (koabooks.com)—is The Wisdom of Sustainability.

We chatted with Dr. Meyer about Sulak, Native Hawaiian values, the global economic meltdown and why she looks to the future with unflappable optimism.

O

What does “the wisdom of sustainability” mean to you?

[Sulak’s book] is about Buddhist economics for the 21st century. I want to take these Buddhist activist ideas from Siam or Thailand and contextualize them within Hawaii. The word “sustainability” is not a word or a concept we used in Hawaiian. It was more the concept of aloha ‘aina, where everything we did was coherent. [With this talk], I believe my job is to help clarify Sulak’s ideas in relationship to Hawaii. Hawaiian culture in its core and practice is completely synergistic to the Photos: Sulak things Sulak is saying in his book.

Sivaraksa; Manu and friends in a community garden (opposite)

10

APRIL 16, 2009

What can indigenous cultures, particularly Hawaiian culture, teach us about confronting modern problems?

I think one of the biggest things is the idea that we’re no longer connected to natural systems—we’re separated by them and through them. It’s the difference between looking and seeing, the concept of ike, which is our word for knowledge. To me, that’s a way to dive into these concepts. “Looking” is a synonym for collecting, accumulating cognitive ideas. But that’s the separation between knowledge and knowing—you can have some knowledge about something, i.e. sustainability or aloha ‘aina, but unless you practice it, you don’t truly know it. The activation of a practice is what shows you and your community that you actually know something.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Talk about Sulak and the subjects you want to discuss with him.

Sulak extends the work of E.F. Schumaker’s Small if Beautiful. I read Schumaker’s work in the ’70s when I was a teenager and I fell in love with it. He was speaking about sustainable practices in the ’60s, but what rang true to me is that indigenous people have been practicing these ideas for thousands of years. Sulak also synergizes with Paul Hawken’s idea in Blessed Unrest: our native ways have not been abandoned, they’ve just been made impossible. I appreciate that clarity. Our ways aren’t abandoned, but they were made impossible by million-dollar lots, million-dollar this, million-dollar that. My job is to contextualize all these ideas in one of the most expensive places to live in the world, made more expensive by capitalistic epistemology.

“Unless we are consciously deconstructing our own behaviors and value systems, we are not going to evolve. People who say it’s about race don’t know the issue at all.”

You said native ways were made impossible. Do you think they’re becoming possible again?

Absolutely. The system of money is beginning to implode on itself. Systems like this cannot be maintained forever. You can’t have a GNP [Gross National Product] that needs to rise every year. You can’t have the policy of planned obsolescence we got after World War II and sustain an integral evolution of consciousness. It’s impossible. I love that Sulak [attributes] the origin of colonialism to Europeanization. Modernization as a word developed from the concept of Europeanization, and the third evolution of that was globalization. So unless we are consciously deconstructing our own colonized behaviors and value systems, we are not going to evolve on this planet. People who say it’s about race don’t know the issue at all.

So you do think this new way forward can and should involve people of all races and cultures?

Yes, definitely. But we have to step into the discussion with a self-aware intelligence that will break some hearts and open up others—and send others screaming. The deconstruction of capitalism is the foundation of our liberation. It has nothing to do with money. Sulak says that globalization is a synonym for free market fundamentalism—that’s the kind of idea I’ve been hungry for. He’s not pussyfooting around. He brings a Buddhist consciousness that is searingly truthful. The notion that every country has to have a GNP and that’s how it will evolve is incorrect and ridiculous.

It sounds like you see a lot of opportunity in the global financial crisis.

To me it’s not a crisis at all. My people don’t have money invested, so we don’t stand to lose. We’re ready; we’ve been preparing. We’ve been teaching ourselves and each other how to eat, how to feed at a grassroots level. It’s small, but it’s on every island. We’ve got 300 kids coming this summer to learn how to grow [food], how to take care of our shoreline so we can feed others. Hawaiians, and allies to Hawaiian culture, will be ready—not to hoard food, but to give it away. That’s the concept of kuliana [responsibility] to ourselves and our kupuna [ancestors], the idea that it’s not about money, it’s about wealth. And wealth, you give away.

Talk about your teaching and what led you to that.

As a student who didn’t do well in school, I had to survive my own schooling. I really appreciate Mark Twain’s quote, “never let school interfere with your education.” My education was completely outside of school. That said, I love being a teacher of future teachers. American society does not recognize the source of its true wisdom, which is found in our educational system, in our teachers. I teach an undergraduate introduction to education course [and] graduate courses in philosophy, history and ethnicity and education in Hawaii. My favorite is a Master’s course in transformational education. The classroom is stuffed every night. We delve into radical ideas of an awakened intelligence. There’s definitely a pedagogy of aloha inside the classroom. We’ve been developing a network for years and ahujournal.org, the Hawaii Journal of Education, is a product of that. We are part of a movement to put forward a different understanding of research methods and scientific methodology, looking at science and how it’s procured, developed and processed. It sounds ethereal and way-out, but there’s tangible evidence that it’s creative and enduring. We have people from different areas and professions and backgrounds— it’s an amazing cross-section from a culture that’s in the thick of its awakening.

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“Consider your bones being picked clean by vultures, and that should inspire you.”

What’s your take on the ceded Native Hawaiian lands issue?

I believe that this is a sign of desperation, with the state imploding because of its economic structure. I believe that inevitably it will not happen, and if it does, private industry and private citizens will step forward and give the land back. Selling these lands is wrong, and wrong will never be right.

So you’re hopeful, then?

Pono is pono. Justice will be served. If they start selling the land, we will step forward in unison. And there will be others who will help us—I know it, I feel it.

Even with a renewed emphasis on sustainability and social justice, many people seem to feel overwhelmed, like problems and obstacles are too big to overcome.

What does it take to get past that?

Consider your bones being picked clean by vultures, and that should inspire you. This has happened before, and this will happen again. Large systems are at work here. Our individual egos are not the point—it’s our collective, energetic force. Those who are sustaining a sense of inner joy and light will inevitably be the leaders, because despair and hopelessness do not inspire. Humanity is always in an evolutionary process. I want people to know that my talk [with Sulak] is a look at these larger systems. We can either look at the problems and point at them, or we can see the solutions. This is a completely necessary moment. Just before evolution occurs, there is always a resistance because it means that things are going to change. If you don’t understand what’s coming, you’ll reject it. Because Hawaiian people have been here for thousands of years, they are prepared. Hawaiians are indigenous to this place [but] we all are indigenous. There is an ancient understanding in every person. If you go to that place, you will remember that what I’m saying makes sense. MTW

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Manu and Sulak will appear April 20 at 6pm at the Maui Arts & Cultural Center’s McCoy Studio Theater in Kahului. For tickets and more info call 242-7469 or visit mauiarts.org.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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ONO KINEGRINDS

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Around the blend Central Maui smoothie stand mixes it up y gym is a sprawling mecca for those who, either out of compulsion or with great reluctance, have to move their bodies.

It’s not pretty and parking is hell, but I and legions of others drag ourselves to this bare-bones beacon of hope and vanity several times a week.

M

Da Smoothie Shack 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului Mon.-Fri., 8am-7pm 873-0502 About half a year ago I began to notice a handful of good-looking people assembled in this storage shed near the facility’s front door. They seemed to be constantly working on the space, hammering and painting.

My curiosity was piqued.

A few months ago it became apparent that some kind of eatery was taking shape. Upon inquiry I was informed that the space was indeed set to become a restaurant that would sell sandwiches and smoothies. And right by the gym. Not inconvenient.

The proprietors of this establishment, dubbed Da Smoothie Shack, are originally from Argentina and have been on Maui for years. When they came across the vacant space on Hana Highway they deemed it most hospitable for a place peddling wraps, fresh fruit, vegetable juices and other convenient pre-gym fuel.

The place has a sunny, tropical aesthetic and a cozy outdoor seating area, while the menu is surprisingly diverse for a place whose primary clientele is clad in workout regalia.

I ordered the Green Thoughts salad, which features lettuce, green bells, avocado slices and a few other items similar in hue. The thing was enormous, even for a salad. Balsamic vinaigrette served as the dressing, and I was surprised at how flavorful such a simple salad could be.

Buffy, my dining companion on my first visit, ordered the caprese prosciutto, a sandwich that consisted of prosciutto, fresh mozzarella and little else. She said it was phenomenal and unexpectedly reminiscent of similar fare she experienced while traveling in Italy.

Available smoothies run the gamut; you basically choose your own ingredients and they blend ‘em. Available bases include apple juice and milks derived from soy, rice, coconut and cow. You can choose to incorporate as much fresh fruit as you like, including pineapple, papaya, melon and numerous others.

Other items on the menu include various pastries, the Aloha Veggie sandwich, the Shaka (Virginia ham sandwich) and the tuna sandwich as well as an assortment of salads. They also sell gazpacho, a cold tomato soup that’s loaded with flavor, which might be my favorite item.

Beverage-wise, in addition to smoothies and fresh fruit and vegetable juices (carrot, beet, apple etc.), they can also satiate your caffeine fix. Options include lattes, espresso, filtered coffee and the like.

So far, says one of the girls who works the counter, the fledgling eatery caters mostly to gym-goers and those employed at surrounding businesses. But they’re working on spreading the word. Hellish

parking aside, this sunny spot is an excellent addition to central Maui’s short list of healthy dining options. MTW Photos: caprese sandwich (left); green salad (right)

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It’s that time again—time to cast your votes otes for our annual Best of Maui. We know for many of you this will mean temporarily getting out of the water, which is a lot to ask. To help ease the harsh transition from warm ocean to dry land, we’ve given this year’s BOM an aquatic theme. We know it’s not as good as the real thing, but we hope it helps.

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Any ballots that violate these rules—or that sufficiently rouse our suspicion— will not be tallied. We hope it isn’t necessary, but if anyone nyone does attempt to unfairly sway the outcome, we reserve the right to create reate a Best Ballot Stuffer category. This is not something you want to win—trust ust us.

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TRADE

18 • APRIL 16 2009 • MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MUSICSCENE

BY KATE BRADSHAW KATE@MAUITIME.COM

Get Tanked Fish Tank may be new, but it’s full of familiar faces t was one of those nights that had an inexplicable momentum.

There was a strange excitement in the air that went beyond that of a standard Saturday evening. It was one of those nights that required a different sonic component; something extra, something groovy and mischievous.

Fortunately we were in the right place: Mulligan’s on the Blue, where new Maui band Fish Tank was among those slated to take the stage in celebration of the birthdays of Dogtowne Design owner and music scene maven Scott Johnson and veteran Maui guitarist Pete Sebastian.

It was Fish Tank’s first performance since the four Maui musicians got together at the beginning of the year, and it seemed to go over well.

The band’s lineup includes Sebastion, formerly of the now-defunct Lawa, Kit Okazaki on sax, Kaipo Haleakala (who is also part of the lineup of both Nuffsed and the Kryptones) on bass, a guy named “Doobie” (also of

Photo by Justin Orr

I

the Kryptones) on keys and Pete Grand (who was in the original lineups of the Afrodesiacs and the Crunch Pups).

Sebastian assembled the lineup after sketching out some song outlines. He was hoping to find a group of musicians to flesh the tunes out. Sebastian says Fish Tank’s configuration couldn’t have been better. “Though I’m the band leader, I’m in a lot of ways their biggest fan,” he says.

This project also showcases Sebastian doing something he has never before done: singing. Sebastian says he hadn’t thought about being a lead vocalist until a trusted source suggested that, instead of auditioning potential lead singers Sebastian himself should pick up the mic.

Why not? He thought. He even studied with vocal trainer Joy Fields, who has worked with Ulalena singers, among others. “This is part of my musical growth and I feel really good about it,” he says, though he admits to being a bit shy at center stage. He says that in other projects he’s always been the “quiet guitar player off to the side.”

CRYSTALS • MINERALS ASIAN ART

His vocals fit well with the band’s solidrock sound. Often verging on raspy, he seems to draw on a number of influences while at the same time not really sounding like anyone in particular.

You can detect a few of the major influences on Sebastian’s songwriting style— Pink Floyd and the Doors are obvious examples—but the band doesn’t draw heavily enough from anyone to warrant direct comparisons. Among his other major influences, Sebastian says, are the Tragically Hip (their earlier stuff) and Dave Matthews Band (I couldn’t tell at all from watching them live).

“We kind of have an identity crisis,” Sebastian jokes, pointing out that most of the band members are reggae musicians who are influenced by a sweeping gamut

of styles. “I’m not looking to write in any vein or genre,” he says.

The most striking yet understated element of Fish Tank’s sound is the keys, which provide a psychedelic edge (though they weren’t loud enough in my opinion). The sax has a similar effect, though Sebastian says he added the two instruments primarily to create an element of maturity.

Sebastian says Fish Tank is going to be gigging sporadically (they’re wary of potentially flooding the market). They have a tentative gig in South Maui in early May as well as one in June (we’ll have more specifics, of course, as the dates approach).

If these shows are anything like the last one, those who attend are in for a time. MTW

INCENSE • CANDLES SEMI-PRECIOUS STONES

1816 Mill Street • Wailuku • Open Tues – Sat • 10am – 5pm 244-2300 • www.greenlotusmaui.com see us at the Maui Swapmeet • Saturdays 7am – noon

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

19

FILMCRITIQUE

BY BARRY WURST II BARRY@MAUITIME.COM

Mall flop Raunchy black comedy more nasty than funny eth Rogen aims for his own Bad Santa and misses the mark in this ugly, highly profane and only occasionally funny dark comedy.

Writer and director Jody Hill tries hard to recreate the nasty, laugh-at-

S

Observe and Report

★★★ ★★★ Rated R/86 min.

anything-and-everything feel of that Billy Bob Thornton Christmas comedy, but can’t keep a consistent tone or make an enjoyable movie about a boorish bully who harasses anyone who gets in his eyesight.

Rogen plays Ronnie Barnhardt, a tightly wound, bi-polar mall security guard who vows to catch a flasher who is stalking the parking lot and, worst of all, has harassed the flaky cosmet-

juice to a punch line. Here, the word is uttered so frequently, and relied on to provide so many jokes, that it loses its power after about 15 minutes.

I like Rogen a lot, but when he ventures outside of Judd Apatow-produced comedies, he either provides inspired voice work in movies like Monsters vs. Aliens or unwisely chooses poorly written showcases like this and Zach and Miri make a Porno.

It’s interesting to see Rogen do in this movie what Jim Carrey did in The Cable Guy—after playing likable roles in popular comedies, Rogen is portraying a genuinely disturbed, creepy character. But while Carrey’s cable guy became a cult classic and helped launch his dramatic career, Rogen is unlikely to get audiences in his corner. You want to laugh because Rogen is playing the part, but if you switched him out for, say, Mickey Rourke, the movie could be a thriller without changing the script.

Oddly enough, the actor who gives a great, breakout comic performance is Michael Pena, the brilliant dramatic actor from Crash. Playing Rogen’s number two, Pena is hilarious. Collette Wolfe, who is

On the lookout for the Orange Julius strangler. ics girl (Anna Faris) who is the woman of Ronnie’s dreams. The movie barely makes time for all the subplots that are crammed into a short 86-minutes: we get bits involving a rival cop (Ray Liotta), Ronnie’s alcoholic mother, Barnhardt’s offbeat rent-a-cop colleagues and the mystery of the trench coat-wearing flasher. With so many balls in the air, the laughs often fall flat.

Most scenes end the same way, with Rogen either beating someone up or dropping the f-bomb and walking out of the frame. Don’t get me wrong, fbombs can be funny, particularly when used as a shock tactic to add

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APRIL 16, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

touching and funny as the only nice person who works in the mall, also steals some scenes. Farris, surprisingly, doesn’t run off with the movie—she has her moments but is repeating herself here.

The inevitable comparison to the Kevin James vehicle, Paul Blart: Mall Cop, isn’t as easy as you’d think. James’ movie, a lousy but popular PG-rated family comedy, is more sweet natured but a lame time-killer.

Observe and Report is raunchy, unpleasant and violent, but at least tries to be something uniquely nasty. Really, the only clear thing the two movies have in common is that they’re only tolerable if you think Rogen or James can do no wrong. Both actors, and their fans, deserve better. MTW

MOVIECAPSULES

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Maui Film Festival Candlelight Cinema

HANNAH MONTANA - G - Musical - Tween girls don’t care about this film’s plot because they are going to see it anyway. Everybody else doesn’t care because they’re not going to see it unless dragged. 102 min.

GIGANTIC - R - Comedy - Paul Dano plays a quirky mattress salesman who for some reason desperately wants to adopt a Chinese baby. He then falls for a quirky young thing named Happy, played by Zooey Deschanel. Relationship pitfalls, including awkward family meetings, ensue. 97 min.

THE HAUNTING IN CONNECTICUT - R Horror - Based on a true ghost story of a family that moves to a house in Connecticut that happens to be a former funeral home wherein horrendous acts occurred at one point. Weird things start to happen...although it may just be a carbon monoxide leak. 102 min.

New This Week 17 AGAIN - PG13 - Comedy - A thirtysomething dude (played by Matthew Perry) with a dead-end job and a crumbling marriage suddenly becomes, you guessed it, 17 again (and Zac Efron, incidentally), which is the age he was when he first impregnated his wife. 102 min.

I LOVE YOU, MAN - R - Comedy - A dude is getting married, but isn’t close enough with his dude friends to ask any to be best man. So he goes on a series of “man dates” with strangers in order to find the “one.” The “one” ends up driving dude and his lady apart. Stars Paul Rudd and Jason Segel. 104 min.

KNOWING - PG13 - Drama - A time capsule buried at a school fifty years prior seems to

SHOWTIMES Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 Gigantic - R - 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Discount Tue), 17 Again - PG13 - F-W 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30. Sa-Su 4:30, 7, 9:30.

Duplicity - PG13 - Th only 3:10, 6, 8:50 Fast and Furious 4 - R - F-W 1:45, 4:15, 6:45.

Sa-Su 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15.

I Love You, Man - R - F-W 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9. SaSu 4, 6:30, 9.

Observe and Report - R - F-W 4:30, 6:45, 9.

Sa-Su 2:15, 4:30, 6:45, 9.

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 1-800326-3264 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), Dragonball: Evolution - PG - Th-Sa 11:15, 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15. Su-Tu 11:15, 1:15, 3:15, 5:15, 7:15.

Fast and Furious 4 - R - Th-Tu 11:05, 12, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6, 7, 8:20. F-Sa 11:05, 12, 1:20, 2:20, 3:40, 4:40, 6, 7, 8:20, 9:20, 10:40.

The Haunting in Connecticut - R - Th 11:10, 1:25, 3:25, 5:35, 7:45. F-Sa 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su-Tu 5:45, 8.

Knowing - PG13 - Th 11:20, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15. FSa 11:20, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15, 9:55. Su-Tu 11:20, 1:55, 4:35, 7:15.

Observe and Report - R - Th-Tu 11, 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:25. F-Sa 11, 1:05, 3:10, 5:15, 7:25, 9:35.

Race to Witch Mountain - PG - Th-Tu 11, 1:15, 3:30

Kukui Mall

Cougar sighting.

CRANK: HIGH VOLTAGE - R - Action - Apparently a sequel to a flick wherein a dude survives being injected with a deadly poison, this flick involves the same dude, only this time his life is threatened by some other awesome hazard. 85 min.

STATE OF PLAY - R - Thriller - When a young and dreamy congressman’s mistress gets murdered, secrets start coming out.

An investigative reporter gets tangled up in all of this, which is presumably entertaining. 132 min.

Now Showing 12 ROUNDS - R - Action - Babes. Guns.

Vengeance. A cop named Danny Baxter. Use your imagination. 108 min.

ADVENTURELAND - R - Comedy - A brainy stoner gets a job at a cheesy amusement park the summer before starting graduate school. It is there that he associates with a series of complex characters, mostly peers. It’s set in the late ‘80s, which spells awesome fashion cues for the lobotomized.

107 min.

DRAGONBALL: EVOLUTION - PG Action - A young warrior goes out on a quest, fighting against time and some other video game-related crap. 84 min.

DUPLICITY - PG13 - Drama - A couple of former spies, now corporate operatives for competing companies as well as secret lovers, stumble upon a series of corporate shenanigans for your viewing pleasure. The strength of their love is presumably challenged before a resolution is reached. 125 min.

FAST AND FURIOUS 4 - R - Art, Foreign - What? Really? Why? 99 min.

have predicted a string of disasters that occurred over the past five decades, and indicates that three more are to ensue, probably some time over this film’s 122-minute run time.

Nicolas Cage stars. 122 min.

MADEA GOES TO JAIL - PG13 - Comedy - A Tyler Perry film involving Tyler Perry done up Big Mama style and ending up in prison aside a young and formerly crack-addled prostitute. Hilarious. 103 min.

1819 South Kihei Road, 1-800-326-3264 ( (Matinees: everyday until 4pm), 17 Again - PG13 - F-Sa 11:05, 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05, 10:40. Su 11:05, 1:20, 3:25, 5:40, 7:55. MTu 1:10, 3:25, 5:40, 7:55.

Fast and Furious 4 - R - Th 1:05, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40. F-Sa 11:10, 1:20, 3:40, 6, 8:20, 10:40. SuM 1:05, 3:20, 5:40, 8:05.

Hannah Montana - G - Th-Tu 1, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. 1, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. F-Sa 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8.

The Haunting in Connecticut - R - F-Sa 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8, 10:15. Su 11, 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8. M-Tu 1:15, 3:30, 5:45, 8.

Monsters vs. Aliens - PG - Th only 1:10, 3:20, 5:30, 7:40 Race to Witch Mountain - PG - Th only 1:20, 3:35, 5:50, 8:05 State of Play - R - F-Sa 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05, 9:35. Su 11:35, 2:05, 4:35, 7:05. M-T 1:05, 3:30, 6, 8:30.

SUNSHINE CLEANING - R - Comedy - A single mother decides to start a cleaning business with a twist. Note: it’s one of those cleaning businesses that cleans up death scenes, so, you know, gross. But quirky-gross, not grossgross. 91 min.

WATCHMEN - R - Action - Sunshine, lollipops and a full 163 minutes of rebel superheroes kicking the red out of commies for your Reaganlovin’ pleasure. The U.S. is amid nuclear war with Russia. Superheroes have been forced to retire, but one lurks in the shadows to fight for justice. Et cetera. 163 min.

658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day), Hannah Montana - G - Th-W 11:30, 2, 4:30, 7, 9:30 Monsters vs. Aliens - PG - Th-W 1:30, 4, 6:30, 9 State of Play - R - Th-W 1:15, 4, 6:45, 9:30

OBSERVE AND REPORT - R - Comedy - A delusional, violence-prone mall security guard played by Seth Rogen gets a chance to show what he’s made of when a serial flasher strikes. 86 min.

RACE TO WITCH MOUNTAIN - PG - Action This remake stars the Rock, and manages to keep a plot going that involves a cab driver who picks up two teenage runaways who are in some type of trouble involving evil villains. 97 min.

Starts at 3:30

Call 643-2337 to order

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm), 12 Rounds - R - Th only 1:30, 4:05, 6:40, 9:15 17 Again - PG13 - F-Su 12, 1:30, 2:25, 3:55, 4:55, 6:25, 7:25, 8:55, 9:55. M-W 1:30, 2:25, 3:55, 4:55, 6:25, 7:25, 8:55, 9:55.

Adventureland - R - Th 1:35, 2:05, 4:05, 4:35, 6:35, 7:10, 9:05, 9:40. F-W 2:05, 4:35, 7:10, 9:40. F-Su 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45.

Crank: High Voltage - R - F-Su 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35. M-W 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:35.

Duplicity - PG13 - Th 3:10, 6, 8:50. F-Su 12:20, 3:10, 6, 8:50. M-W 3:10, 6, 8:50.

Hannah Montana - G - Th 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9. F-Su 12:30, 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9. M-W 1:30, 3, 4, 5:30, 6:30, 8, 9.

Madea Goes to Jail - PG13 - Th only 1:45, 4:15, 6:45, 9:15 Monsters vs. Aliens - PG - Th 1:50, 2:50, 4:10, 5:10, 6:25, 7:30, 8:45, 9:45; 3D: 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. F-Su 12:30, 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45, 3D: 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. M-W 2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:45, 3D: 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20.

State of Play - R - F-Su 12:10, 1, 3:05, 3:55, 6, 6:50, 8:55, 9:45. M-W 1, 3:05, 3:55, 6, 6:50, 8:55, 9:45.

Sunshine Cleaning - R - Th 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. F-Su 12, 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20. M-W 2:20, 4:40, 7, 9:20.

Watchmen - R - Th only 3:45, 7:15

MONSTERS VS. ALIENS - PG - Animation Wow, this Dreamworks film’s name is right up there with Zombies vs. Bears, or even Zombies vs. Sharks. It involves Monsters, Inc.-esque creatures that must step up to defend the earth against aliens. Seth Rogen, Reese Witherspoon and Will Arnett lend their voices. 94 min.

Channel 701 or HD Channel 1701

Wharf Cinema Center

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

21

THIS WEEK’S PICKS Achieving an election

Earth Day festivities I

Thurs. (Apr. 16), 7pm, MCC Ka Lama 103

Sat. (Apr. 18), Honokowai/Kahului

It’s hard to retain faith in something so flawed that it stifles the good it was initially intended to foster. Many entities fall into such harmful obsolescence, including most media, the recording industry, and, I often think, society as we know it. The elections process is among these crippled institutions. Election Day now seems more a ritual than civic duty. The Electoral College and the oversimplified politics of a two-party system make for dismal prospects for effective governance. Tonight, activist Lori Grace will talk about creating fair elections in Hawaii. Grace worked on the 2004 recount campaign and helped ensure ballot integrity in 2008, and she’ll offer anecdotes from her experience as well as some vital yet underreported information on how elections work in the United States—and what’s at stake. Free.

On the record Sat. (Apr. 18), 10am-6pm, Request Music, 10 N. Market St., Wailuku There is something so rewarding about acquiring new music from a record store.

Downloading just can’t replicate the experience of tracking down an album, conversing with the clerk about music, and experiencing the momentum of an entire recording.

Independent record stores create a sense of community among music lovers. Request Music, which is pretty much Maui’s only independent music store, has served this purpose at its Wailuku location for almost fourteen years. Saturday, which is National Record Store Day, is a most opportune moment to show one’s appreciation for this institution. Musical acts slated to perform include Kanoa of Gomega, Order of the White Rose, Erin Smith, DJ Jay P and many others. Plus there’ll be discounts on music, record players and other items. Free.

THURSDAY

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APRIL 16, 2009

Celebrating Earth Day doesn’t exactly make up for, say, the Industrial Revolution, Hiroshima or the current unsustainable lifestyle in which we continue to blissfully engage, but it does have potential for influencing people’s everyday choices. Oh, and it makes for an excuse to throw one hell of a shindig. This weekend, Maui offers residents and visitors a whole slew of events of this ilk. West Mauians can dig a farmer’s market Earth Day deal, what they’re calling a “Conscious Community” Celebration. It takes place Saturday from 10am-3pm and involves live music, a massage booth, kombucha and kava bars, tarot readings, taro burgers and loads of other fun stuff.

Did I mention the massage booth?

On Saturday Maui Nui Botanical Gardens is throwing a dynamite celebration of the ‘aina that’ll feature the sounds of George Kahukomu Jr. as well as a hula performance by Hula Halau Na Hanona Kulike ‘O Pi‘ilani.

Other features of this year’s festival include a Hawaiian plant sale, Hawaiian cultural activities, a silent auction and ono food. This free event will be an opportunity to learn about Maui’s environment as well as kanaka maoli culture. (10 am-3pm).

➤➤➤➤➤ FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤ SUN

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

BY KATE BRADSHAW

Double play

Earth Day festivities II

Sat. (Apr. 18), 7:30pm, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC Sun. (Apr. 19), 2 & 7pm, McCoy Studio Theater, MACC

Sun. (Apr. 19), 10am-sunset, Baldwin Beach Park, Paia

Paralleling the astonishing physical beauty of the Hawaiian Isles is the tapestry of narratives that combine to tell Hawaii’s human story. The lives of many of the individuals who shaped Hawaii’s history were ridden with peril and consumed in passion. The two one-man productions, titled Two Hawaiian Destinies, that will be performed backto-back this weekend at the MACC chronicle the lives of men who, on the surface, appear to be polar opposites. The first is that of the obscure yet legendary ali‘i Kaulula‘au, written by Keali‘iwahine Hokoana. Actor Moses Goods III (pictured), who has performed this monologue more than 70 times, brilliantly portrays a mischievous young prince, borne by a resurrected mother, who gets condemned to haunted Lanai. In the second play, penned by Aldyth Morris, Vinnie Linares portrays Father Damien de Veuster, who sacrificed everything in order to bring aid and comfort to Hansen’s disease (leprosy) sufferers forcibly quarantined on Molokai’s rugged Kalaupapa Peninsula. Partial proceeds benefit Maui Food Bank. $25.

This is the big, fat Earth Day celebration everyone talks about. This year organizers aim to draw attention to bills currently in the U.S. and Hawaii legislatures that will protect the north shore of Maui from Kanaha to Ho‘okipa from development and other environmental threats. The shoreline may seem like it’s immune, Maui County Democratic Party Chair Lance Holter says, but “the whole area…is all on a year-to-year lease.” Maui Tomorrow will be encouraging attendees to sign a gigantic banner in support of said bills, which it will present to the state legislature. Politics aside, there’ll be loads of entertainment. Two stages will showcase premier Maui musical acts, including Jamallad, Zuni Migoze, Fantuzzi, The Easy, Poni Brendan and others.

Event planners expect over 50 vendor booths from Maui’s greenest businesses, including purveyors of food, natural medicine, locally crafted goods, green energy and more. Plus, a movie theater, a keiki care center and an eco village will be on site to make for a truly swell event.

Photo: MauiEarthDay.org

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

23

Big Shows

seniors/$6 students. Fri. & Sat., 7 p.m.; Sun., 2 p.m.

Baldwin Auditorium. 984-5656 ext. 315.

Record Store Day Celebration - Sat, Apr 18.

Come show your appreciation for independent record stores, especially this one. Musical acts include Kanoa of Gomega, Erin Smith, DJ Jay P and many others. Plus: discounts on music, t-shirts and other goods. 10 a.m.-6 p.m. Request Music, Wailuku. 244-9315.

Two Men: Two Hawaiian Destinies - Daily.

Oh Boy Productions presents these two one-man vignettes portraying Kaulula’au and Father Damien.

See This Week’s Picks for more. details $25. Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 2 & 7 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Earth Day Festival - Sun, Apr 19. By far this is Maui’s biggest Earth day celebration, with music by Jamallad, Zuni, Youssoupha Sinibe, Divino and Rich Stilwell. It features two stages, a food court, a movie theater, a keiki care center and an eco-village. Free. 10 a.m.-Sunset. Baldwin Beach Park.

573-1959.

Music & Harmony in Paradise - Sun, Apr 19.

This performance is part of Maui Choral Arts Association’s Peace Through Music series. Over 125 community participants will perform, and the show will include a tribute to Abraham Lincoln (who would be 200 this year). This will also serve as the Maui Community Band’s debut at the MACC. Expect loads of Souza. $12/$22/$32. 4:30 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Stage The Grapes of Wrath - Fri, Sat & Sun. The Maui Academy of Performing Arts presents this production of this classic play based on the John Steinbeck novel of the same title. The narrative follows the Joads, a family of migrant workers who leave their dustbowl farm for supposedly greener pastures. $16. Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun., 2 & 7 Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen p.m.

Kaahumanu Center. 244-8760.

Guys & Dolls - Every Fri, Sat & Sun. Baldwin High’s finest actors present this musical that tells the tale of of love and gambling. Luck be a lady.$12/$9

Tickets on Sale Iration - Thu, Apr 23. Bamp Project presents this all-ages show, which features reggae-rock outfit Iration as well as Anuhea and the Throwdowns.

There’ll be plenty of room for dancing, as the folks at the MACC will be kindly clearing the area of chairs. Doors at 7 p.m.; Show at 8 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Sheryl Crow - Tue, Apr 28. Top 40 rocker lady Sheryl Crow is coming to Maui for an outdoor show. The assumption is that rocking will take place, along with some grooving when this purveyor of songs like “All I Wanna Do,” “If it Makes You Happy” and “Soak Up the Sun” comes to rock out the MACC. Odds are. $45/$55/$65/$125.

7 p.m., Gates at 5 p.m. Events Lawn, MACC. 242-7469.

Kathy Collins’ Death Comedy Jam - Fri, May 1. Join maven, Mana’o Radio cofounder and all-around cool chick Kathy Collins as she roasts death. A little it of gallows humor is required, and it’s requested that you leave the wee ones at home. Willie K. and Eric Gilliom are slated for guest appearances. $25. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Steel Magnolias - Fri-Sun, May 1-3. A production that chronicles the lives of a hanfdful of brazen Southern broads. Fri. & Sat., 7:30 p.m.; Sun. 3 p.m.

Iao Theater, 68 N. Market St., Wailuku, HI, 96793.

242-6969.

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758

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APRIL 16, 2009

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Tina Malia Save Honolua Benefit - Sat, May 9. This event is limited to 100 guests and takes place in an amazing setting for a great environmental cause. $20. Honolua Valley. 276-8733.

A Midsummer Night’s Dream - Sun, May 24.

You know you wanna. This classic Shakespeare comedy is a play inside a play inside a play.

Complete with fairies and, unrequited love and a dude whose head turns into that of a donkey.

This is a ballet rendition of this production. $12. 3 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

$799/$99 with A&B training bonus. 8:30 a.m.-4:30 p.m. 984-3231.

Small Business Survival Kit - A chance for small business owners to get a few pointers on getting through tough times. Leslie Mullens leads the discussion. 12-1 p.m. Maui County Business Resource Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247.

SOME HERE

ALL

online CALENDAR

Starting a Venture in Hawaii - Participants will get an overview of how to evaluate business ideas in general, available resources, needs and issues particular to Maui. Includes sample business plan and booklet on starting a venture on Maui. 5:309:30 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului. 875-2402.

Cheech & Chong - Fri, May 29.

Far out, man! What can be said, really? Snort some lines of dish soap and see how long it takes for Chong on mauitime.com to crack the first Maui wowie joke.

Surfrider Foundation I’m guessing this legendary grassMeeting - The foundation will be puffing comedy duo will pack the house. $59.50. 7:30 meeting with the the Army Corps of Engineers on p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

April 23 to discuss the Corp’s planned expansion of

Events THURSDAY, APR 16 Podcasting Talk - Learn how a computer and a microphone can get your message out to the masses. Free. 5-6 p.m. Borders Books & Music in Kahului. 891-0449.

Living in Awareness - Acclaimed spiritual teacher Sri Raniji and Reverend Darlene Strickland will help participants learn about, then experience “Heart to Heart Blessing (TM)” in this 3-day workshop $175. Unity Church, 483 S. High St., Wailuku. 242-9327.

7 Habits of Highly Effective Managers Lois Greenwood leads this workshop based on the work of leading leadership leader Stephen Covey.

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

Maalaea Harbor. Tuesday’s and Thursday’s meetings are for those interested in finding out about the plan, as well as having a say. 5:30-7:30 p.m.

NOAA’s Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, 726 South Kihei Rd., Kihei. 298-8254.

Haiku Community Association Meeting This public meeting will include a talk from GPAC member Lucienne DeNaie, a talk from Mike Gagne on community gardens and a discussion of plans of a 20-acre ag park in Haiku with David Goode. 6:30 p.m. Haiku Community Center, Haiku, 96708.

573-3573.

Astronomy in Hawaiian Culture - An examination of the ways in which the stars played a vital role in Hawaiian life. 6:30-8 p.m. Maikalani, Advanced Technology Research Center, Pukalani.

573-9500.

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

DA KINE CALENDAR Managing Maui’s Beaches - Zoe NorcrossNu’u of University of Hawaii Sea Grant Coastal Geology Extension will talk about threats such as sea level rise, coastal development and other issues that affect Maui’s shoreline. Part of Pacific Whale Foundation’s Making Waves series. Free. 67:30 p.m. Pacific Whale Foundation, Maalaea.

249-8811 ext. 1.

Protecting Fair Elections - Activist Lori Grace will give an underreported perspective on elections in the U.S. See This Week’s Picks for more info. 7 p.m. MCC Ka Lama 103, Kahului. 573-3255.

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick is Les Visiteurs.

9 p.m. Cafe Mambo, Paia. 579-8021.

FRIDAY, APR 17 Economic Update/SBA Awards Luncheon - This Maui Chamber of Commerce will give Maui’s Small Business Association a chance to honor Maui’s best entrepreneurs. Dr. Carl Bonham will deliver the 2009 Bank of Hawaii Economic Update. $30/$50 nonmembers. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 871-7711.

Golf Tournament - The Rotary Club of Kahului’s Mike Lyons Memorial Golf Tournament starts at the crack of dawn for all you golf and Rotary enthusiasts. Includes luncheon afterward. $150. 6:30 a.m.

Kahili Golf Course. 870-7691.

Applied Mindfulness - Master teacher Ron Kurtz leads this lecture on Hakomi, a method of “assisted self-discovery.” $50. 1-5 p.m. Rinzai Zen Mission, Baldwin Beach. 879-9932.

Miniskirt Feminists Membership Meeting - This intriguing new political party will be solidifying its platform and discussing future events. Political discussions will likely ensue due to the paradoxical nature of this group’s ideology. 6 p.m. Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. 244-0852.

Maui Prep Book Fair - A percentage of books sold this weekend will benefit Maui Preparatory Academy. 9 a.m.-11 p.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1307.

Friday Night Music - Come be surprised at the live talent that graces the stage at Queen Kaahumanu’s breezy center stage area. 6 p.m.

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

SATURDAY, APR 18 Food Forest Agroforestry Workshop Taking place in East Maui, this workshop will give participants an overview of this sustainable farming practice. Call for time. Huelo. 572-9300.

Edible Landscapes for the Tropics - Yeah, this might be important. From both sustainability and economic standpoints. Lean about how to transform your yard into a plentiful garden. A twoweek course. $99. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului. 984-3231.

Enlightenment Unplugged - Seasoned workshop leader Ngeton leads this workshop, and will provide lessons in clarity and self-understanding.

Call to reserve a spot. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. 280-6437.

Maui Nui Botanical Gardens 7th Annual Earth Day 2009 - This cultural and environmental event will be educational & conservation booths, ‘ono food, cultural demonstrations, a Hawaiian plant sale and more. Live entertainment includes hula and chant. This waste free event will have info on recycling. 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului.

GarageBand for Recording and Podcasting - This Vitec course teaches attendees how to make their own recordings - musical or otherwise - via the Mac program GarageBand, then disseminate said recordings by way of podcasting. $69. 9:30 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului. 984-3231.

Invigorating the Soul of the Goddess Just ahead of the exclusive Boot Camp for Goddesses event, boot camp creator Sierra Bender will give a talk on fitness and health for those with goddess leanings. $100. 10 a.m.-5 p.m. Studio

Maui, 810 Haiku Rd. #265, Haiku. 575-9390.

Gardens, 150 Kanaloa Ave., Kahului. 249-2798.

BY KATE BRADSHAW CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Storytelling Event - Acclaimed storyteller Auntie Jan Terukina will tell a number of local-style folk tales and share a bit of poetry from across the globe to audiences in Wailuku. Free. 10:30 a.m.

Kihei Public Library.

Anthony Pignataro will be signing copies of Remember the Technicolor Dreamboat!, a new collection of features he wrote over the years he spent at the helm of MTW’s editorial department.

He’ll be selling copies for $14.95, and talking about why he wrote the book. 3 p.m. Wok Star, 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei. 495-0066.

Writing Workshop - Learn how writing can help you sort out real life conflicts. Discover how to journal thoughtfully and reflectively while cultivating a consistent writing practice. Jasmyne Boswell leads. $45. 1-4 p.m. Haiku (Call for location specifics). 268-5807.

Satsang - Sundance Burke and Katie Davis, authors of “Free Spirit” and “Awake Joy,” will lead this spiritual practice, in which they incorporate the ways of Eckhart Tolle and Gangaji for your meditating pleasure. 4-6 p.m. The Maui Deeksha House, 619 Kupulau, Maui Meadows. 386-2894.

Meet Curious George - No way. Here’s a chance to meet the monkey himself and hear stories of his crazy adventures. Not sure about the Man in the Yellow Hat, but the monkey will definitely be making an appearance. 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina. 662-1300.

Sunset Drum Circle - Come and drum, dance and shake it on the beach with Omzone. Free. 4:20 p.m. Kamaole Point. 298-9022.

Swap Meet - From camo hunting gear and koa carvings to vintage aloha postcards and delicate, locally-crafted jewelry, this place pretty much has it all. Killer produce market, too. Admission: 50 cents.

7 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Community College, Kahului Harbor side. 877-3100.

March for Babies - How can you say no to this 39th annual March of Dimes event? I mean come on, it’s for babies. It’s only a two-mile walk. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. War Memorial Complex, Wailuku. 973-2155.

Lahaina Restoration Foundation Meeting - This is the organization’s 46th annual meeting. See what they’ve been up to in their efforts to promote fun times on the West side. 8:30 a.m. Pioneer Inn, Lahaina. 661-3262.

Kamehameha School Ho’olaule’a - Loaded with food and entertainment, this event aims to raise money for programs that don’t receive funds from the school as well as for scholarships.

Organizers say this year’s celebration, titled No Na Keiki Pauahi, will be one of epic proportions. 9 a.m.2 p.m. Kamehameha School, 270 A’apueo Pkwy., Pukalani, 96768. 276-8025.

Clothing Drive - Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Maui is asking you to bring in those articles of clothing you never wear anymore. Lightly used household items are also welcome. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Walmart, Kahului (Next to the automotive store). 242-9754.

Healthy Kids Day - With staggering obesity rates among the younguns, it’s imperative that we trick them into making healthy choices early on.

This event will demonstrate that physical activity isn’t so bad. 9:30 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui YMCA, Kahului. 242-9007.

Fashionista’s Market - Like, oh my God. Shopping. This event will feature the wares of local and national designers at deeply discounted prices (I mean, like, 50-80% off). Brands include Maui Thing, Wings Hawaii, Boho Babe, Ed Hardy and more. Plus there’ll be makeover stations, beauty seminars, a fashion show and even a martini bar. Get there early. $15. 12-6 p.m. Westin Maui Resort & Spa’s Valley Isle Ballroom, Kaanapali, 96761. 667-2525.

NHRA Drag Racing - That’s right. A rare thing indeed; an event that speaks for itself. Junior racers and the test & tune start up at 2 p.m.; the race begins at 5 p.m. 2 p.m. Maui Raceway Park, Puunene. 281-1273.

An Answer in Today’s Economy - Michael Bernoff will give a talk on how to make money and get healthy despite the economic conditions of this current epoch. 3-4:30 p.m. MACC, Alexa Higashi Meeting Room. 280-6437.

Semiformal Dance Benefit - This dance benefits the Maui Filipino Chamber of Commerce scholarship fund. Semiformal dress is required and light refreshments will be served. $35. 6-9:30 p.m.

Maui Beach Hotel, Kahului. 244-3263.

MONDAY, APR 20 The Wisdom of Sustainability: A Dialogue - Nobel Peace Prize nominee Sulak Sivaraksa and Hawaiian practitioner and educator Manulani Aluli Meyer engage in a dialogue of the way global economics affect us personally, spiritually, and as a community here in Hawaiëi. $15. 6 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Hawaii Health Turnaround - Master health coach and nutritionist Grace Purusha leads this course on improving your eating. Learn how upgrading your diet can reduce risk and symptoms of diabetes, high cholesterol and overweight. $25.

6-9 p.m. Call for location. 879-5511.

Blood Drive - The Blood Bank of Hawaii will be accepting donations over three days in three different locations. The first is on Monday at King Kekaulike High School in Pukalani from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. The second and third take place at Cameron Center auditorium in Wailuku from 7:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Tuesday and from 7 a.m. to 5 p.m.

Wednesday. (800) 372-9966.

Tuesday, ApR 21 Making Stories - Tales About the Creative Process - Theatric storyteller and drama professor Ben Moffat will give this 45minute talk in celebration of Library Appreciation Week. Recommended for grades 2 and up. 10 a.m. Makawao Public Library, 1159 Makawao Ave., Makawao. 573-8785.

Surfrider Foundation Meeting - The foundation will be meeting with the the Army Corps of Engineers on April 23 to discuss the Corp’s planned expansion of Maalaea Harbor.

Tuesday’s and Thursday’s meetings are for those interested in finding out about the plan, as well as having a say. . 5:30-7:30 p.m. NOAA’s Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary, 726 South Kihei Rd., Kihei.

298-8254.

SUNDAY, APR 19

WEDNESDAY, APR 22

Clothing Drive - Big Brothers, Big Sisters of Maui is asking you to bring in those articles of clothing you never wear anymore. Lightly used household items are also welcome. 9 a.m.-3 p.m.

Walmart, Kahului (Next to the automotive store).

242-9754.

SeaWees Ocean Ed-venture for Preschoolers - Preschoolers can enjoy field trips, activities, songs, and stories. The theme for April is “Scales to Tails - the Amazing Fish of Hawai’i.” For ages 3-5 (must be accompanied by parent/caregiver). $10/class or $40 for five sessions. 9-10 a.m.

Pacific Whale Foundation’s Ocean Discovery Center, Ma’alaea Harbor. 808-249-8811 ext. 1.

Upcountry Sundays - This Mana’o Radio event will be a most phenomenal showcase of Maui musicians. Erin Smith and her acoustic band and BrownChicken BrownCow String Band (who’s leaving the island soon) will grace the stage with their outta sight tunes, and Kate “the Shark” Bradshaw opens up the show. $7. 2 p.m. Casanova, Makawao. 572-0220.

Anthony Pignataro Book Signing - Former Maui Time Weekly editor and all-around cool dude

Kalaupapa Management Plan Meeting - The National Park Service is seeking public comment from communities across the state on what the Kalaupapa Management Plan should entail. The isolated area is a former Hansen’s Disease quarantine settlement among other things. Today’s two workshops both take place in Kahului. 9-11 a.m.; 6-8 p.m.

MACC, Alexa Higashi Meeting Room. 242-7469.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

25

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

CAFE MARC AUREL

Thursday 04/16

Friday 04/17

Saturday 04/18

House of S.I.N. No cover, 10pm

DJ CIA No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith No cover, 10pm

MON - Joe Benedit; WED - Sonic Nectar

Dr. Nat & Rio Ritmo

MON -Open Mic; TUE - Kit Kat Club: Very Cherry Cabaret

Teomon & the Krypones $10, 10pm

TBA

WED - Ladies’ Night, $10, 10pm

Alternative Night

Inna Vision/Super Dub 5

Bikini Contest

WED - Congo Bongo w/ Haitian James

Smokin’ Hot Thursdays 9:30pm

Versatile 10pm

Orin & Junior

Dave Carroll No cover

Dave Carroll No cover

Eric the Whale Shark No cover

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - Howard Ahia, No cover

Quiz Night w/ Chile Dog

Pau Hana

Kanoa

Movie Night w/ Ms. Beaver

MON - Jordan & Guests, 10pm, No cover; TUE - Scott Baird & Merika

Dominick of The Edge

Homestead

Jamallad

TUE - Backyard Jam

Maui AIDS Found. Benefit w/ Michael Fong; $5, 10pm

Ultra Fab w/ DJ Michael Fong; $8, 10pm

WED - WII Wednesdays w/ DJ Michael Fong 10pm

Kahekili

Karaoke

Hand Jive Jazz Trio

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CELLAR 744 744 Front St., Lahaina 661-3744

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

EHA’S POOL BAR 1234 Lower Main, Wailuku - 242-1177

GIAN DON’S 1445 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-4041

GREEN LEAF SPORTS BAR

Ladies’ Night

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Sunday 04/19

MON - Willie K, $10, 9pm

Karaoke

HARD ROCK CAFÉ HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH

Rampage No cover, 10pm

Kawika’s B-Day Bash w/ Dezman

Manali‘i

Karaoke Night

MON - Soul Food w/ Kanoa, 10pm; TUE - CJ Chrest/Lucky Bum Girls; WED -Pac Vibe

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON-WED - Karaoke

Pio Marasco: Chill N Deep No cover, 9pm

DJ Del Sol $10, 9:30pm

DJ CIA No cover, 9:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

Showcase Baldwin - This event will feature the hard work of Baldwin High School’s finest. Includes poetry, art, music, drill teams and more. Food will also be involved. 4-5:30 p.m. Baldwin High School, 1650 Kaahumanu Ave., Wailuku, 96793. 984-5656.

Reggae With the Whales - Reggae music star Marty Dread, fresh from his appearance at the Jamaican Jazz Festival, will play his tunes while the whales do their thing. A perfect sunset experience. $49.95/$39.95 keiki. 5-7 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor.

249-8811 ext. 1.

olds at 3:30-4:30 p.m. Fridays in Wailuku: 15-24 mos., 8:45-9:30 a.m., 2 yr. olds 9:30-10:15 a.m., 3-4yr. olds 10:15-11 a.m. Call Lori for details. 573-5456.

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call.

Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center. 289-5050.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

Keiki

Toddler Story Time - Thu. Brush up on the latest in children’s books with your little one. Free. 10 a.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-8785.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 244-5911.

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament! Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Athletic Club Outreach - Every Tue & Thu. Got tough kids? Get them instruction on Olympic weightlifting, power lifting, body building and sports-specific weight training by an experienced team of coaches. Ages 11-19. Free. 4:45-6 p.m. St. Mark Weightlifting Hall, Good Shepherd Episcopal Church, Wailuku. 2444656.

Submit Your

Listings CALENDAR on mauitime.com or calendar@ mauitime.com

Free Keiki Art Classes - Every Mon, Tue, Wed & Fri. Lahaina Arts Society offers free children’s art classes island wide. MON - Lahaina Surf Hawaiian Housing, 3-5 p.m. TUE - Baha’i Faith Maui Center, Makawao, 911 a.m. Ka Hale A Ke Ola, Wailuku, 4-6 p.m. WED Baha’i Faith Maui Center, 9:30-11:30 a.m.; Honokowai Kau Hale, 2:30-4:30 p.m. THU - Paia Elementary, 2-4 p.m. FRI - Kahekili Terrace, Wailuku, 3-6 p.m. Haiku Boy’s and Girl’s Club, 3-5 p.m. For more info call 661-0111.

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s biggest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

Keiki Shots - Wed. (Central Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walkin basis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Wailuku Health Center.

984-8260.

Keiki Dance With Lori Lewis - Every Thu & Fri. Thursdays in Haiku: 2-3 yr. at 9:15-10:00 a.m., 3-5 yr.

26

APRIL 16, 2009

TUE - Pool Tournament; WED - Ladies’ Night MON - Marty Dread & the Kryptones; $5, 10:30pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

JACQUES

Monday 04/20– Wednesday 04/22

Swimming Lessons - Sun. Valley Isle Aquatics is offering keiki swimming lessons in conjunction with the County of Maui, Community Classes. Folks can call or go to www.valleyisleaquatics.com for further information.

12:15-4:15 p.m. Kihei Aquatics Center. 572-4665.

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

Keiki Chess Club - Mon. For little masterminds age 8-12. Taught by magician Neil Bruce. Free.

2:30-4 p.m. Makawao Public Library. 573-5313.

Environment Earth Day Haleakala Service Trip - Wed. This Pacific Whale Foundation trip involves hiking into the crater and helping restore the area to its original state by weeding and planting. Call for specifics.

249-8811 ext. 1.

Daily Onsite Coral Reef Naturalist Program - Mon-Fri. Learn names of fish you’ve seen while snorkeling and how to protect Maui’s reefs at Pacific Whale Foundationís free Coral Reef Information Station. Sponsored by Hawaii Tourism Authority and County of Maui Office of Economic Development. .8 a.m.-12 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea. 808-249-8811.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Kanaha Beach Project - Every Tue & Thu. Join group leader Val Magee in removing invasive species, clearing marine debris and planting native species at Kanaha Park. Bring water, snacks and sunscreen. Wear cool clothing, a hat and good walking shoes—and bring your swimsuit if you wish for a refreshing dip afterwards! Meet at the Canoe Hale at Kanaha Beach Park in Kahului. . 8:30 a.m.-11:30 a.m. Kanaha Beach Park. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. 6:45 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center. 870-0052.

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

249-8811.

Building supplies - Every Wed, Thu, Fri & Sat. Spring cleaning! Donate new and nearly new building materials or purchase them at reduced prices.

Volunteers needed to stock, display and price merchandise. Reduce the amount of usable building materials going into the landfill. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Habitat for Humanity, Market St., Wailuiku. 986-8050.

Weed and Pot Club - Wed. Did that get your attention? Push up your sleeves and rake, hoe and pull weeds in a beautiful garden setting. Tools, gloves and drinking water provided. Bring sunscreen and tennis shoes. 8:30 a.m. Maui Nui Botanical Gardens, Kahului. 249-2798.

Maui Coastal Land Trust Service Project Fri. The Pacific Whale Foundation’s Volunteering on Vacation program gives you a chance to help save unique ecosystems at Maui Coastal Land Trust in Waihee. Be prepared to help weed out invasive plants or help with other tasks. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts!. 7:45 a.m.-12 p.m. Maui Coastal Land Trust, Waihee. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Honokowai Valley Restoration - Sat. Visit remote Honokowai Valley, which is closed to public access, with leader Ed Lindsey. Help save archeological sites of old Hawaii, pull invasive plants and possibly plant native species. Get a free t-shirt for your efforts! Sponsored by County of Maui Office of Economic Development and Hawaii Tourism Authority. 9 a.m.-4 p.m. Honokowai Valley, West Maui. 808-294-8811 ext. 1.

Haleakala National Park Service Trip - Sun. Through Volunteering on Vacation, a free program offered by Pacific Whale Foundation, help pull invasive weeds at Haleakala National Park. Free transportation and park admission provided. Get a free Volunteering on Vacation t-shirt for your efforts!. 7:30 a.m. - 2:30 p.m. Haleakala National Park. 249-8811 ext. 1.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of 10 volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

Volunteer on Vacation - Tue. Get to know Maui better by volunteering time to one of many important environmental projects. Meet local experts and learn about the history and environment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the Pacific Whale Foundation!. 9 a.m.-3 p.m. Honokowai. 249-8811.

Sports/fitness Dragon & Tiger Medical Chi Gung - Every Tue, Thu & Fri. This exercise is believed to fight cancer in China. Free class sponsored by the Pacific Cancer Foundation. 3-4 p.m.; 5:30-6:30 p.m. Maui YMCA, REPS Fitness Training Center, Wailea Town Center, respectively. 243-2999.

Lahaina Canoe Club Weekly Paddle - Daily.

Get buff, talk story, check out the scenery. Thu., 8 a.m.; Sun., 10 a.m. Hanako’o Beach Park (Canoe Beach). 870-6466.

Marathon Volunteers Needed - Daily. Care to help out with one of the biggest sporting events on Maui? Organizers for the 39th annual Maui Marathon are looking for folks to fill the positions of head Volunteer Coordinator, Entertainment Coordinator, and Awards Ceremony Coordinator.

Are you game?. 280-5801.

Maui Croquet Club - Every Sun, Tue & Thu. You could be an amazing croquet player and not even know it. No mallet? No problem. 2-5 p.m.

Waipuilani Park, Kihei. 879-0087.

Group Run - Wed. Stay in shape while taking in some beautiful views! Group meets at Kihei Community Center. Open to runners of all ages and fitness levels. Refreshments will be provided after.

Sponsored by Valley Isle Road Runners. Free. 5:30 p.m. Piilani Highway and Lipoa Parkway.

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 04/16

Friday 04/17

Saturday 04/18

Sunday 04/19

Monday 04/20– Wednesday 04/22

The Vince Esquire Band No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

Way Back Machine No Cover

Kahala No cover

TUE - Da Ha-Y-ans, No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine, No cover

Soul Package

Flying Sheep Problem

Ladies’ Night w/ Q103 $7, 10pm

Upcountry Celtic

MON -AnDen; TUE - Kilohana (Hawaiiana); WED Dezman

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

De Aquino Braddahs

Oren & Junior

KOBE STEAKHOUSE

Karaoke

Karaoke

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMOS 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

LOS PELONES Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-9900

LULU’S KIHEI 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

LULU’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

Salsa Night $7, 10pm

Mickey (One Man Band)

TUE - HWY 30

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

Inferno Fridays $5, 10pm

JR & the Boys

Reggae w/ DJZZ $5, 10pm

TUE - Rave Night w/DJZZ, $5, 10pm; WED - DJZZ No cover, 10pm

Manali’i (Toys for Tots Fundraiser) 9:30pm

All Access Fri. Night Luau 9pm

All Access X-Clusive Saturday Night; 9pm

Kenny Roberts 9pm

MON - Service Industry Night; TUE - Junior & Oren/ Classic Surf Film Screening Screening; \WED - Neto

MAI TAI LOUNGE 839 Front St., Lahaina - 661-5288

MAUI BREWING CO.

Mickey Miller No cover, 9pm

Kahana Gateway Center - 669-3474

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

The Silky Ringo 9pm

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OCEANS BAR & GRILL 1819 S. Kihei Rd. - 891-2414

PINEAPPLE GRILLE 200 Kapalua Drv. Lahaina - 669-9600

DJ Dolla Drink $5; 9pm

DJ Paul

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF

DJ Decka 9pm

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Yoahmama No cover, 10pm

Karaoke w/Toby 9pm

All Access DJ Dancing $10, 10pm

Ten Feet $15; 10pm

Scotty Rotten

Damien Awai

Brian Como & Friends

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 8 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Tai Chi - Every Mon & Fri. Get your Tai Chi in during your lunchbreak with Dr. Lorrin Pang. Free. noon12:45 p.m. State Building Plaza, Wailuku. 984-8200.

Volleyball Day - Sat. Bump, set, spike! Open to everyone. Free. 12 p.m. Kamaole III Beach Park, Kihei.

Baseball Tryouts - Sun. These non-competitive tryouts for Maui’s Senior Baseball League (amateur division) are open to anyone over 25.Entry fee is $125. 344-7575.

Badminton Nights - Mon. That’s right. Dust off your shuttlecocks and lace on up. No need to bring rackets or birdies. Just come out. Takes place every Monday through May 4. 6:30-9 p.m. Lahaina Civic Center, 1840 Hono`apiilani Hwy., Lahaina, 96761. 661-4685.

Art Art Night - Fri. Step out in Lahaina and see the work of artists from Maui and beyond. This week’s featured artist at Lahaina Gallery is Dale Zarella.

Free. Lahaina Gallery, 828 Front Street, Lahaina.

661-6284.

Art Night - Wed. Part of the ever-fabulous Wailea on Wednesdays series, this week’s featured Lahaina Galleries artist is Sue Perry. Lahaina Gallery, Shops at Wailea. 874-8583.

“Art of Trash” Entries Being Accepted Daily. This exhibit will open at Maui Mall in May of 2009 and is presented by Community Work Day and Sharing Aloha. Local artists are encouraged to submit works that give new life to discarded objects. Entry forms are available at public libraries islandwide. 573-3911.

“Fresh Perspectives” Art Exhibit - Daily. Nontraditional landscape paintings put a surreal spin on a well-worn form. The featured artists in this exhibit offer up some colorful examples of this often vivid form.

Their work will be on display until Friday, May 1. 10 a.m.6 p.m. Upcountry Fine Art, Makawao. 573-6000.

Artist Exhibit - Daily. Anthony Carnabuci’s work focuses on the amazing natural color and light that can be seen across the Valley Isle. His work has earned him several rare honors as well as the opportunity to illustrate several children’s

books. His work will be on display until April 20th.

5-8 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, 84 Hana Hyw., Paia. 579-9245.

Artist Exhibition - Daily. The colors of Maui are what inspire artist Anthony Carnabuci’s work. He has studied art extensively and in a variety of locales, illustrated a number of children’s books and is currently based on island. His work will be on display until 4/20. 10 a.m.-7 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, 84 Hana Hyw., Paia. 579-9245.

Artist Reception - Daily. The show is called iKons, and features recent works by Maui artist Carla Crow. 5-8p.m. 84 Hana Hwy. Paia. 579-9245.

Crosscurrents: Jun Kaneko and David Kuraoka - Daily (except Mon). The work of these two artists is wide-ranging, including drawing, painting, ceramic and glass. Both have managed to blend a number of elements in a way that renders their work unique and striking. Free. 11 a.m.5 p.m. Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-7469.

WOW! - Wed. Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. 6:30-8 p.m.

897-6770 x2.

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through Lahaina Town’s many art galleries.

Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments.

Each week features a different guest artist. Free. 6:30 p.m.

Lahaina. 661-6284.

WED - Willie K; ($25/$49/$69)

The Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Duh Boyz, No cover, 10pm; TUE - Unifires, No cover, 10pm; WED - Open Mic TUE - Karaoke w/ Toby, No cover, 9pm; WED - DJ Blast, $10, 10pm

Farmers market, Art/Craft Fairs Farmers’ Market and Craft Fair - Every Tue, Wed, Fri & Sat. Great deals on locally grown produce and locally made goods. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului. 871-1307.

Ho`olokahi Arts & Crafts Fair - Every Tue & Fri. Fresh flower lei-making classes from 9-11 a.m. on Fridays. 9 a.m.-2 p.m. Wailea Beach Marriott Resort south lobby. 879-1922.

Ohana Farmers & Crafters Market - Every Tue, Wed & Fri. 8 a.m.-4 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 877-3369.

future CALENDAR on mauitime.com

Farewell to Hawaii Art Show - Daily. Photo collage artist Carol Quan is leaving Hawaii, and this weekend’s art show is her way of saying aloha.

Quan is a highly accomplished photo artist who has designed album covers for the like of Kiss, Lionel Richie and the Grateful Dead. Attendees can talk story with Quan, enjoy complimentary wine and pupus and take in some live entertainment.

Sat., 5-10 p.m.; Sun., 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sacred Garden of Maliko, Makawao. 573-7700.

Ryan Robinson Band 10pm

Art Bistro - Mon. Local artists display their wares, from photography and painting to jewelry and sculptures. Live music, too. 5-10pm. Jacques, Paia. 808-269-0961.

See into the

Weaving Demonstration - Fri. Weaver Susan Jenson will be demonstrating the traditional art of lauhala weaving as well as contemporary basket weaving with natural fibers. Jenson’s work is inspired by the drive to perpetuate Hawaiian culture. Free. 4-:30 p.m. Maui Hands Gallery, 84 Hana Hyw., Paia. 573-2021.

TUE - DJ Dolla Drink, $5, 9pm

Farmers Market of Maui - Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Sample the goods at this local market for fresh produce. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 61 S. Kihei Rd. Honokowai Farmers Market Every Mon, Wed & Fri. Lots of fresh local produce plus baked and canned goods. 7-11 a.m. Lower Honoa Piilani Hwy. Resort Craft Fair - Every Wed & Fri. Hawaiian arts and crafts. 8 a.m.-2 p.m. Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort.

Aloha Craft Fair - Fri. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Maui Mall. 872-4320.

KBH Craft Fair - Fri, Sun, Mon, Wed. Cultural crafts and live demos. 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel lobby. 667-5978.

Organic Farmers Market - Sat. Fresh produce that’s cheaper than the grocery store. 6:30 a.m.noon. Eddie Tam Memorial Center.

Poetry Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

Poetry Slam - Every First Fri. Poets 13 and over are encouraged to share their stuff with the First

Friday crowd. Pieces are limited to three minutes. $5. 8 p.m. The Promenade (Wailuku Food Court), 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-3993.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue., read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Canoes - Sun, Jazz w/ John Maritano, Brian Cuomo & Friends. 3-6. 1450 Front St., Lahaina. 661-0937.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Sat Ernest Pua’a; Sun,Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,Oversized Productions; Tue, Roy & Friends; Wed, An Den. Late sets 6-8:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

27

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 04/16

Friday 04/17

Saturday 04/18

RB STEAKHOUSE RUSTY HARPOON

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

DJ Mike Rozak No cover, 10pm

Karaoke

Karaoke

Damien Awai of AnDen

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Playboy Mansion Party w/ DJ Mike Rozak

UFC 97

DJ Slackin No cover, 10pm

DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

DJ Magnetic No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith & Wolf 9pm

Jamallad 9pm

Kenny Roberts 10pm

2290 Kaanapali Pkwy - 661-3123

115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116 -879-0004

SANTA FE CANTINA 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7805

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Monday 04/20– Wednesday 04/22

Live Music

Kahana Gateway, Kahana - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA

Sunday 04/19

MON - Silky Ringo;TUE - Willie K; WED, Evan Schulman

MON - 80s & Ladies Night; WED - Chronic Cantina w/ Junior & Oren, No cover, 10pm Kanoa of Gomega No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Blast; TUE - DJ Nature Boy; WED - DJ Kidd C/DJ JP; All no cover, 10pm WED - Mango Pickers

STELLA BLUE’S 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

Jerry Caires, Jr. Band $3, 10pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIFFANY’S 1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

TIP-UPS TAVERN 1279 2. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON - WED - Karaoke

DJ JP

Crazy Fingers 10pm

Crunch Pups 10pm

Open Mic w/ Jordan

MON - The Lovely Lynsey; TUE -DJ Astro Raph; WED Blues Night

UNISAN

MON - WED - Karaoke

2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

WATERCRESS

Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9350

Live Hawaiian Music

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;.

Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

Mulligan’s at the Wharf - Fri, Hawaiian music with Uncle Louie. 5-7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Karaoke

Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Gina Martinelli; Sat, Monda Kane; Sun Merv Oana, Mon, Bobby Ingram & Fulton Tashombe; Tue, Rama Camarillo; Wed, Kaleo Cullen. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011

CENTRAL MAUI

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Rusty Harpoon - Thu, George Kahumoku, Jr., 79 p.m., Tue, Willie K., 7-9 p.m., Wed., Evan Schulman, 7-9 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali.

661-3123.

Kahului Ale House - Thu, O‘Kaleo. 5 p.m. Wed, Kilohana. 6 p.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului. 877-9001.

Sea House Restaurant - Thu, Fri & Sat, Kincaid Basques; Su, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets except Sat. 7-9 p.m. Sat set is 6:30-9p.m.

Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI Beach Bums Ma’alaea - Tue, Randall Rospond, 5-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd. 243-2286.

Haui’s Life’s A Beach - Thu, Erin Smith. 1913 South Kihei Rd., 891-8010.

Longhi’s - Sat, acoustic music. 10:30-11 p.m.

3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883 Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works.

Wed., Kenny Roberts. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Thu, Rick Glencross Fri, Gail Swanson; 6-8 p.m.; Sun, Celtic Tigers, 6:30 p.m.; Mon, Acoustico, 7 p.m. Tue, Joyce & Gord; 6:30-8:30 p.m.; Wed, Willie K., 7:30 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Wed, Sat, Merv Oana; Sun, Howard Ahia Thu; Fri Margie; Tue

28

APRIL 16, 2009

MON - Karaoke; TUE - Live Music, TBA; WED - Karaoke

Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Café Marc Aurel - Live Music on various days.

Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Santa Fe Cantina - Tue, Ryan from Silky Ringo; 5-8 p.m. Fri, Mike Carrol & Friends, 4-7 p.m. Sat, Damien Awai; 5-8 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7805.

Karaoke

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI Hana Hou Cafe - Wed, Dorothy Betz and Les Adam with Vince Esquire. Thu, Haiku Hillbillys. Sat, Live music. Mon., The Hula Honeys All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 575-2661.

Tiki Courtyard - Sun-Thu, Leokane, 6 p.m.

Friday, Halau Friday Hula show. 6-9 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500 Thu, Fri, Tue. Kincaid Kupahu; Sat, Coelho Morrison; Sun & Wed, Andrew Kaina; Mon, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

■ RITZ CARLTON 1 Ritz Carlton Drive, Kapalua, 669-6200 The Lounge - Sun, Ron; -Mon, Joshua K; Tue, Tarvin; Wed, Howard, Thu, Hallie.; Fri, Espresso; Sat, Crazy Fingers. Sun-Thu 7-10 p.m., Fri-Sat 7:3011 p.m. 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611

Umalu - Thu, Off Tomorrow, 6-9; Live music nightly All sets 4-6 & 7-9p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon,

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100 Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131 Wailea Wednesdays w/ WIllie K - Wed, 7:3010 p.m.

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525

WEST MAUI

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031

Flatbread Pizza - Every first Wed, Toma Conway & Randall Rospond. 6-9 p.m. Flatbread Pizza, 89 Hana Hwy., Paia. 579-8989.

■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234

Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lagoon Bar - Live music nightly, All sets 68 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

RESORT SHOWS

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234

Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Wed, Benoit Jazzworks; 6:30-8:30 p.m. Fri., Poni Brendan, 6:309:30 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Green Banana Cafe Music - Tu, Shea Argel.

Th, Indio. 6-8 p.m. Green Banana Cafe-The Shops at Paia Bay, Paia, 96779. 579-9130.

7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa; Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula.

Late sets 6-9 p.m.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922 Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 69 p.m.

Mele Mele Lounge - Nighly, Live music. 911 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - Mon, Wed, Fri, Sat, Mele `Ohana Duo. Tue, Thu Ron Kuala’au; Sun-Thu sets 69 p.m.; Fri, Sat sets 6-10 p.m. Sun, Mele `Ohana Duo, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. Mon, Wed, Fri, Hula performance, 6-6:45 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

7:30-8:15 p.m.

SIGNLANGUAGE

CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Try imagining how to explain light, colors, and sight to someone who’s been blind from birth. You could associate light with heat, or colors with sounds, or feelings, but it’s unlikely they’d ever be able to grasp the concept in more than the most abstract way. Trying to make your latest brilliant idea clear might be just as fundamentally difficult; your audience isn’t yet ready to really wrap their heads around it. Be patient, creative, and persistent; fortunately, they’re not actually blind. It’s just that their eyes are still closed. They’ll open them, eventually. Just wait.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Everyone loves a bad boy/girl (at least at some point in their life). Why? It’s that dazzling confidence, and the thrilling willingness to break the rules (all combined with a guess that they’d be great in bed).

Nice guys/gals may not always finish last, but they rarely get laid first. There are plenty of people out there who are happy enough to settle for the sweet boy or girl next door, but the tough badass with the secret tender heart of gold is an archetype that’s far more charming. Embrace it. You’ve got the sensitive golden heart part down pat; what you need to work on is the tough exterior that would make that soft heart a sweet surprise. Guess what? That’s this week’s agenda.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Don’t be the equivalent of the old lady who has trouble figuring out the DVR, let alone navigating the Interwebs (or is simply unwilling to even look into the matter). I don’t know what happens when some people get old; their brains seem to resist absorbing new information. Me, I’d like to hang onto my independence as long as I can, and not be too thwarted by new stuff as it comes along. Don’t you agree? Stop being so stubborn and inflexible. You’ve got plenty of room for new information. Be a sponge, not a stone.

When newness enters your life, soak it up.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Nobody loves a victim. People will have compassion for you when you’re down and out, but perpetual self-pity is ultimately an extremely unattractive quality. Shake it off. Even if you have gone through some bad times recently, you need to move on and get over it. You’ve often had a tendency to take yourself (and the stuff that happens to you) way too seriously. Learning to consistently laugh at yourself (and, yes, your troubles) is actually fun and liberating. Just between you and me, there’s another side benefit to applying good (and occasionally self-deprecating) humor to your life: you’ll get laid a lot more often.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) Patience may be in short supply this week—both yours and others’. That’s why you’ll need to make an intense, concerted, conscious effort to at least pretend to be patient despite the fact that you’re actually quite irritated by how absurdly long things are taking. You need to fake it well, too. If people catch wind of the slightest hint of the frustration you’re really feeling, it will only slow things down further.

That’s the last thing you need. Practice projecting the serenity of a saint. If you don’t actually have that kind of patience, make sure you’re the only one who knows it.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) E-mail spam bets on the law of averages. It costs virtually nothing to send out, so it really doesn’t matter that 99.999% of people are going to delete it; if just one person in 100k falls for the scam, they’ve pulled a profit. This law can work in your favor—only you’re not panning for a sucker so much as someone in a position to appreciate what you have to offer. There are plenty out there; that you haven’t found one is indication that you’re not casting your net wide enough. No need to spam mailing lists—but checking out friends of friends might be a good idea.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Whether they’re laughing with you or at you isn’t all that important; what matters is that they’re laughing. I hope you’ve gotten over taking yourself so seriously that a joke at your expense would tie your panties in a knot. Don’t be offended; laugh along. Better yet, figure out a way to increase the hilarity, not put a stop to it. Increasing the sum total of joy and happiness around you is worth suffering a few tiny ego bruises for, wouldn’t you agree? Unruffle those feathers, and ditch the chip on your shoulder. Let people have their fun. You can take it.

MONDAY, APRIL 20 HARD ROCK CAFE MAUI & ’ULULENA

CONCIERGE MAHALO PARTY! WEDNESDAY, APRIL 29 • 5:30–7PM

Featuring Jimmy Mac & the Cool Cats & the ’Ululena Dancers RSVP — 667-2578 * Must be a concierge to attend

JUST IN!

BON JOVI DESIGNS GET ONE AND SUPPORT HIS CHARITY

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Get rid of the kudzu in your life. Kudzu is an invasive vine that takes over all the plant life surrounding it. Because it’s a species that was imported to North America, very little can stop it. It just spreads and spreads. There’s someone in your life like this. Give them a foothold and they’ll try and take over, pervading every aspect of your existence that they have access to. If they’ve already gotten a grip, the only way to rid yourself of them is to brutally tear them out of your life, roots and all. Don’t hesitate, unless you really want to be inextricably tangled with this person. Just do it, before it’s too late.

JON BON JOVI

HELPING TO BREAK THE CYCLE OF POVERTY

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Proposing marriage to someone you’d never met, but only seen a picture of, would be an immensely foolhardy proposition—no matter how hot the picture was. Although far less extreme, what you’re up to right now runs along these lines. This is not a slippery fish that will wriggle away and be lost if you don’t net and bag it now. It’s a person, and they won’t run unless you chase them. Give yourself more time to get to know them; at this point you don’t know much more than you could glean from a flattering photograph. What’s the rush? Slow down. Way down.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) Don’t be the person who finally gets rid of all the trash in their life, and then takes up residence at the landfill where it all got sent. You got rid of that shit for a reason, even if that reason seems far less clear now than it did when you set all this in motion. You simply have to trust that you really are better off without it, even if you miss some aspects of it terribly. Moving to the dump stinks of failure (and garbage). If you don’t think you can bear the vibe (or the fresh air) in your newly empty apartment, go crash with a friend.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Before you is a cage. What’s curious about this cage is that you’re not precisely sure whether you want to be inside it or outside it, or who you wish to have possession of the key. Strangely, the best person to keep ahold of it might not be you. Even though it’s antithetical to your nature to limit yourself or give someone else power over you, that might be the best thing right now, as a purely temporary measure. It could be the quickest, or the surest, or perhaps the only, way to get to a better place.

KAMA‘AINA

20%OFF Food, Beverages & Merchandise

CANNOT BE USED WITH ALL ACCESS OR IN COMBINATION WITH ADDITIONAL DISCOUNT PROGRAMS. VALID HAWAII ID REQUIRED. ALL FOOD, NON- ALCOHOL BEVERAGE AND NON-CHARITY MERCHANDISE

900 FRONT STREET

LAHAINA, MAUI • 667-7400

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Ignorance, besides being bliss, can be a form of protection—which is the primary reason people inflict it on those they love. They’re especially inclined to shield people from situations they believe can only cause pain, particularly those unlikely to change or improve. Remember that this week, when you discover that someone you trusted deliberately left you in the dark. It sucks, yeah—but maybe if you can see it less as a betrayal and more as an expression of affection (however misguided), it won’t hurt so much. I don’t expect you to thank the person, but maybe try not hating them?

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

29

CLASSIFIED AAAH ... BLISS Melt to my Magical Hands Tenderly touching your Whole Body.

Delightfully Exquisite Sensual Pampering Session.Intimate & Irresistable. Exotic, elegant ambience. Men, Women and Couples Especially Invited. Come to the Enchanted Gardens 891-2700 DIVINE INTERLUDES Desiring A Higher Pleasure? Heart to Heart Body to Body Bliss For Sincere Discerning Men. Experience the Goddess Heaven on Earth CALL ME- 875-8388 SEXY GIRL FRIDAY Relax to my sensual, deep bodywork. Loving caregiver. Incalls Makawao 280-0601 TWO PRETTY GIRLS French maid cleaning, and personal assistants. 214-7042 BLISSFUL BODYWORK Exquisite, high quality bodywork for the mature, discerning man who appreciates a deeply relaxing, wonderfully caring and sweetly sensual holistic experience. 214-7087

ADULT SERVICES

For a Quality Experience

The Garden of Sensual Delight Beautiful, sexy and sweet!

250-6274

281-0561

HOT

Spring Break Specials Call for rates

276-5907 For a Sweet & Sexy Good Time Call 280-6875

Pioneer Inn, Lahaina

BMW/ MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

Since 2003

6–8 PM • Tuesdays The longest-running original singer/songwriter show on Maui!

Sail Magazine calls Billy Bones the “Maritime Poet”

SERVICE PARTS ACCESSORIES FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE

INANNA

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

NAUGHTY FRISKY KITTIES Individuals • Couples • Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties

269-2483

264-6325

Angel on Maui Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

call

Cherry

Haiku Hottie HAWAIIAN STYLE SENSUAL BODYWORK

808-344-5999 You’ve had the rest, now enjoy the best

Heaven’s Secret

250-5808 Maui’s Finest Full service escorts, couples & bachelor parties Classy, professional and discreet

INCALL/OUTCALL Actual photos available upon request

(808) 357-3534 PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

878-2698

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

BUY & SELL

Sweet angel awaits you…

Incalls/Outcalls Couples Welcome

(808) 298-7905 eroticserviceproviders.com

HOT

ATHLETIC BODY...

EXOTIC BLONDE

808-205-3977

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA GET A NEW COMPUTER Brand Name laptops & desktops Bad or NO Credit - No Problem Smallest weekly payments available. It’s yours NOW - Call 800803-8819 (AAN CAN) GET A NEW COMPUTER Brand Name laptops & desktops Bad or NO Credit - No Problem Smallest weekly payments avail. CALL NOW Call 800-816-2232 (AAN CAN)

Pouchi Couture “Pamper your pouchi with style” 893-BARK (2275) 400 HANA HWY • KAHULUI

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

Sexy Girls 661-9222 • 879-8793

NOW HIRING

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Sample and download his new CD at captainbillybones.com $600 Weekly Potential $$$ Helping the Government, PT. No Experience. No Selling. Call 1-888213-5225 Ad Code: H15

$600 WEEKLY POTENTIAL$$$ CASH FOR GOLD We buy Gold, Silver, Plat. Get Cash Helping the Government PT. No NOW! Highest Payouts - Satisfaction Experience, No Selling.Call: 1-888-213Guaranteed 1-877-548-1550 (AAN CAN) 5225 Ad Code L-5. VOID in Maryland and South Dakota. (AAN CAN)

Canine Spa Lines • Gourmet Treats Fashions • Accessories

Feel Like a King

APRIL 16, 2009

Captain Billy Bones

until 10% DISCOUNT ON March PARTS & LABOR 31, 2009

DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

Pleasures in Paradise

The Full Royal Treatment

30

LOCAL ADS

(#RD 3881)

Tantric Loving Bodywork

IN/OUT CALLS

Tia’s Special Touch

AUTOMOTIVE ~ Waves of Love ~ Sensual Pleasure ~ Irresistable Erotic Energies

North Kihei

Exotic 250-6206 RoomService For A 276-0002 Deliciously good time...

Erotic Bodywork

CLASSIFIED

MOVIE EXTRAS NEEDED NOW! Earn $100 to $300/Day. No Experience Necessary. All Looks Wanted - FT/PT. Call Now 1-800605-5901 (AAN CAN) POST OFFICE NOW HIRING! Avg. Pay $21/hour or $54K annually Including Federal Benefits and OT. Paid Training, Vacations. PT/FT. 1-866-945-0295

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO. Now Hiring for ALL POSITIONS Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina

HEALTH PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring agency specializing in matching Birthmothers with Families nationwide. LIVING EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 866-413-6293 (AAN CAN)

Suffering with anxiety or depression?

Think no one understands?

ATTEND COLLEGE ONLINE Lucinda Bassett does. Get her free From Home. *Medical, *Business, tape that will stop the suffering *Paralegal, *Computers, *Criminal without drugs or alcohol. Call 800Justice. Job placement assistance. 652-9619. (AAN CAN) Computer available. Financial Aid if qualified.

Call 866-858-2121 ONLINE PHARMACY www.CenturaOnline.com Buy Soma, Ultram, Fioricet, Prozac, Buspar $71.99/90 HIGH SCHOOL DIPLOMA! $107/180 Quantities, PRICE Fast, Affordable & Accredited INCLUDES PRESCRIPTION! Over FREE Brochure. Call NOW! 1-888- 200 meds. $25 Coupon Meition 532-6546 Ext. 97 http://www.con- Offer: #71A31. 1-888-661-4957. tinentalacademy.com (AAN CAN) tripharmacy.net (AAN CAN)

EMPLOYMENT

MISC

$$$HELP WANTED$$$ Earn Extra income assembling CD cases from Home. CALL OUR LIVE OPERATORS NOW! 1-800-4057619 ext. 150 http://www.easywork-greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer: Save $21/month for one year, Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite 1-888-246-2215 (credit card required) (AAN CAN)

DIRECTV Satellite TV Special Offer: Save $21/month for one year, Free HD-DVR, Plus 3 Free months of HBO/Starz/Showtime! Call Expert Satellite 1-888-246-2215 (credit card required) (AAN CAN)

NOTICES ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

REAL ESTATE FOR SALE KIHEI RESORT Ground Floor, 1bd/1ba clean, bright and airy condo with beautifully landscaped gardens and a nice pool & hottub. Josh Jerman, Realtor (808) 283-2222 The Wailea Group LLC COLORADO on mainland 40 acres grassland near mountains. $28,500 cash or $500 down and $250 monthly. Surveyed. Near town. Good road access. Call owner 806-376-8690

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ROOM FOR RENT $950 plus deposit, share utilities, at Lahaina Baby Beach, private bath. Call 870-3401

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Kaimana’s Beach Hale

at Baby Beach www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month. $145-$195 a day. Your own private Ohana.

Continental breakfast served.

Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

SERVICES AN ECONOMIC STIMULUS PLAN FOR YOU! The Most Exciting & Lucrative Income Opportunity of the Decade!

A 2X2 Re-Cycler That Pays $800 per Cycle, Including 100% Matching Bonuses! Over $1,000,000 Paid in 1st 77 days! If You Need Money Now! You Need This Today! www.regenesis2x2.com/1447 or call 800-366-1487 ext. 8200

CLASSIFIED Sex life on hold?

Sex therapist with 25+ years exp. will help you overcome ED, premature ejaculation, lack of desire, shyness, fear of intimacy, communication problems. Discuss your sex & relationship concerns confidentially. Free initial phone consult. Call Dr. Bouchard today at 891-0952. www.sexhappiness.com

MASSAGE

MASSAGE: 50 min. Swedish - $55

Find Maui’s Holistic Events!

Visit www.mauivision.net today and explore our extensive mind, body & spirit listings. New April//May Maui Vision Magazine Out Now! Call 669-9091 for info.

Traditional Swedish Bodywork Clean, professional & caring.

Swedish, deep tissue, sports, myofascial and relaxation bodywork. I am available for both incall 50$/hour and outcall 60$/hour.

8 am-10 pm. Monday through Sunday. Call Nicky for appt. at 808205 7199 COMPASSIONATE BODYWORK. RELAX painful stressed muscles using a variety of techniques including heated stone. Fabulous homemade organic facials and organic detox body wraps/scrubs/waxing also available. Great prices, island-wide availability. Call Zoe at 463-1771

Chakra, Aura & Body Reading, Clearing & Healing Lightbody and DNA Activation Emotional and Spiritual Counseling Sacred Love and Intimacy Sessions Transformational Healing Massage and Bodywork Deep Tissue Massage

Book today:

249.8280

MA Psychology, Certified Tantra Educator MAT#8003

Traditional Japanese Acupuncture • Herbs • Skin/Body Restoration

Sophianada Rowan, MA Mat#8279

Call 808 283 3880 www.sacredhealingheart.com

(Deep Tissue Upgrade - $10)

The Golden Lotus

Unique Gifts, Local Artist Jewelry, Therapeutic Products, Aromatherapy Massage • Gifts

Angel Readings

40 N. Market St. Wailuku • 242-8788 Open 7 Days M-W 10-6 Th/Fr 10-7 • Sat-Sun 9-5

Akashic Readings

GIFT CERTIFICATES AVAILABLE

Spa Sessions Hot Tub/Bodywork Nurturing & Pampering

Krystal - 864-0416

DNA Activation/Reprogramming

Exotic Bodywork by, Sophia 808.205.4168

Enlighted Master Bodywork Specialist

Upcountry Area

Talk Story Therapy

STOREWIDE

SALE! • • • • • •

NEW GLASS HAVAIANAS & TEES CUSTOM HATS YOGA PANTS/HARDTAIL MEN’S WEAR NIIHAU SHELL JEWELRY

Alice In Hulaland

Alternative Therapies Create new feelings, behaviors, physical health. Counseling, EMDR, Hypnotherapy, PSYCH-K and more.

Depression, anxiety, stress, weight, pain, any issue! Most insurance accepted. Maribeth Theisen, MSW, LCSW, CHt. Kihei. www.MauiTransformations.com.

269-2923.

BODYWORK Releases Aches and Pains.

Powerfully Transformative!

Balancing Body, Mind & Soul.

Relax & let go, relief guaranteed, please call 875-8399. Let your spirit soar ...

Awakening Body and Soul

Burns 290 calories • Treats Osteoporosis Ask about • Relieves muscle tension our special • Anaerobic & aerobic excercise $10 trial!

• Reduces joint & ligament stress • Improves blood & lymph circulation A great compliment to acupuncture and/or massage •

Boutique & Massage

High Touch Jin Shin Jyutsu Experience profound healing results with Jin Shin. This affordable and effective technique balances all body systems. Reiki and Cranial Sacral also offered. Call: Wendy Areus at 283-9248

SOOTHING HEARTFELT

VIBE-RANT results on TurboSonic in 10 minutes:

Green Ti

Richard Experience a Swedish-based session, incorporating a variety of therapeutic bodyworks. Deep Tissue, Acupressure, Reflexology and Sports Stretching. Schedule a relaxing and healing session by calling 280-8557

COUNSELING Holotropic Breathing, relationships, personal growth, pastlife regression, spirit releasement, Psychological Fitness Training, Gestalt, Voice Dialogue, Tantra, Existential Analysis, shamanic journeywork. Sasha Lessin, Ph.D. & Janet Kira Lessin, P.T.S. 244-4921

Turbosonic Vibrational Therapy

LICENSED MASSAGE THERAPY Enjoy a Relaxing Professional Massage. Private, Comfortable Haiku Lanai by a Certified LMT $60/hr. For Pregnancy Massage, Deep Tissue, Lomi or Swedish, call Susan 276-2114. Same day appts. available. MAT#8984

Upcountry Bodywork with

HEALING HANDS M4M Experience whole body, therapeutic, and nurturing touch for men using a variety of healing energy modalities. In-calls as well as outcalls, serving all of Maui. Call 1877-303-2009.

MIND BODY SPIRIT

19 Baldwin Ave Paia 579-9922

50% OFF ALL CLOTHES & PURSES

Green Lotus • Cystals • Minerals •

Individuals • Couples Family Counseling

A Spa Wailuku...

REJUVENATING THE SENSES

Secretary’s Day Specials

FREE CONSULTATION

Treat your secretary to a day at the spa and recieve

• Stress & Anxiety • Depression • Marriage & • Substance Abuse Sabrina Lee Dixon Relationships & Addictions M.A. Clinical Psychology • Family & Parenting • Life Challenges Talk Story Therapist

$10 off all services MASSAGE • FACIALS • WAXING • SAUNA

NORTHSHORE ARTS & HEALING CENTER 161 Hana Hwy • Paia • 344-0230 sabrina@northshorearts-healingcenter.org

244-4444 Jeanne (LMT)

MAE #10969

1325 Lower Main Street, Ste. 101 • Wailuku

Authentic THAI Bodywork •

• Ancient Techniques Herbs • Balms

just

• Asian Art • Jewelry • Open 10am - 5pm Tuesday - Saturday

244.2300

1816 Mill Street • Wailuku

TRADITIONAL

THAI Pan

BODY WORK

With Thai Herbs and Balms $

45

Located Upcountry, Daily 9-7

298-8869

for a FULL HOUR session!

Secrets of Geisha Beauty Latest innovation in facial treatments. Celebrities have to fly to New York for this unique skin treatments. Now we offer Geisha facials on Maui.

Call Bella at 280-0180

Call NOM in Pukalani 344-2695

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY! Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday

CLASSIFIEDS CONTINUED ON BACKPAGE

to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

9 years experience

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

APRIL 16, 2009

31

HIGH VISIBILITY! LOW COSTS! BACK SIDE CLASSIFIEDS WORK! CALL (808) 283-3260 for complete details!

42 ft. Bertram Sportfishers

FREE (808)

667-2774

Toll Free 1-800-590-0133

I’AO ACUPUNCTURE & SPA VIBEbrational Special!

In only 10 minutes achieve real results: burn 290 cals, treat osteoporosis, relieve muscle tension, restless leg syndrome, depression, anaerobic/aerobic exercise, improve blood & lymph circulation. Ask about our special $10 trial. A great compliment with Acupuncture &/or Massage. Call: 249.8280

DIESEL • BIODIESEL • HYBRIDS

(#RD 3881)

Yellow Seed Bamboo

www.YellowSeedBamboo.com

PRE-FORECLOSURE CONDOS Air Maui Helicopter Tours Kihei and Central Maui locations. Prices from $54,900 and up. Contact Josh Jerman, Realtor 808-283-2222 The Wailea Group, LLC

On The UPside with TERI MAUI’S HOTTEST “CALL-IN” RADIO PROGRAM

Tune in every FRIDAY at *NOON* on KNUI 900 AM. Call in 808-871-5900. Check us LIVE online at www.stickam.com/terionupside,

2 for 1 Special!

West Maui/Molokai Special. Only Air Maui offers this incredible flight! Call now for your 2 for 1 Kama’aina special or special visitor rate! Expires Dec. 31, 2009. For reservations call 877-7005

FOUR 29 THREADS & TATTOOS NOW OPEN IN HAIKU! Custom Clothing & Tattoos by Brandon Holokai.

By appointment only. Haiku Town Center #206.

281-3633 www.four29hawaii.com

Specializing in Glass Art, Jewelry, Crystals, Water Pipes, Incense, Tobacco Accessories, Rasta Gear and more!

ELECTRIC EEL TATTOO IS NOW OPEN IN LAHAINA!

“Crazy Chris” and “Hano” are now offering Custom Tattoos, Body Piercing and Laser Tattoo Removal at their new shop located at 840 Wainee Street, next to Maui Tacos. 661-7711 electriceeltattoo.com

HEMP

Maui’s ACCESSORIES TOO! ORIGINAE L SMOK SHOP!

TATTINI BIKINI!

The Original Tattoo Bikini! Available at The Enchantress Boutique/Shops at Wailea. visit www.TattooBikini.com

THIS SPACE IS NOW AVAILABLE!

Josh Jerman, Broker

Call

Hurry! Space is Limited!

878-2698

ISLAND WIDE SERVICE AMERICAN • ASIAN • CARS • SUVS • TRUCKS 3135 Lower Kula Road • Behind Kula Hardware

Large Luxury Studio Condo for Rent in Kihei

Fully Furnished, Full Kitchen, Mountain and Pool Views. Wiireless Internet, Phone, Most Utilities.

Available June 1 for 3 to 6 months. $1000 per month, photos available at vrbo.com/58185 call 269-3333 for more details.

EARTH DAY FESTIVAL SUNDAY APRIL 19th

10am-Sunset, Baldwin Beach Park, Paia. Live Music, Speakers & Green Vendors. Keiki Activities, Food Booths and more! FREE Admission. www.MauiEarthDay.org

Anew Tattoo Your Pain is our Pleasure

For an appointment with Nancy or Hano call 808-872-1113. Private tattoo studio by appointment.

Email inquires to tat2oasis@yahoo.com, or view gallery at myspace.com/wwwpiratebitchcom. Anchored at the Harbor, 111 Hana Hwy, #202B, Kahului.

Above Bounty Music in the back. *Check us out on 97.3 on the A Train with Johny A 3-9pm on Fridays and Radio Rehab with Ace 7-11pm on Saturdays. Tune in to enter our Raffle!

D R . ROBERT LEY Comprehensive Pain Management

for as low as $115/wk

283-3260 for Details

SERVICE • PARTS • ACCESSORIES FREE MINI-DETAIL WITH LARGE SERVICE • Scheduled Maintenance to Major Overhauls • Towing • Extended Warranty Service • Custom & Performance Products & Installation • Collision Repair • Restorations • Detailing • Tires • Wheels • Mufflers • Batteries • Air Conditioning Computer & Electronic Diagnostics

Stop Wishin’ & Go Fishin’ Catch a 500+lb Marlin & your trip is (16 caught in 2006)

BMW / MINI • VOLVO MERCEDES • VW / AUDI

• Spinal Trauma and Orthopedic Injuries • Neurologic Injuries & Diseases • Chronic Neck and Back Pain • Shoulder, Knee & Hip Pain Helping Patients to Find Exceptional Surgical Care and Alternative Therapies

808.283.2222 Direct Josh@TheWaileaGroup.com www.JoshJerman.com

NOW OPEN IN OUR NEW LOCATION 411 Huku Lii Place - Suite 301 • Kihei

875-7595

3rd Floor • South Shore Plaza “the only 3 story building in the area”

4/20 20% OFF SALE EVERYTHING

X

• Detox Kits 420 420 • Drug Tests • Blunt Wraps Huku Lii Pl • Digital Scales • Hookas Piilani Hwy • Shisha 80+ Flavors www.HawaiianHolySmokes.com et

side

SPORTFISHING

10% DISCOUNT ON til April PARTS & LABOR 30th, 2009

Ohuka iS tre

back

The Fastest Growing Privacy Hedge Available!

LOCATED at 320 Ohukai, #404 • Kihei

808•879•2826