9.40 Weapon Of Mass Destruction, March 30, 2006, Volume 9, Issue 40, MauiTime

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MARCH 30, 2006

i u a M f o t s e B 6 0 0 2

By now, you should know the routine. We ask you, our loyal, wonderful readers, what’s best about Maui, and you tell us. It’s worked pretty well in the past, so we figure on trying it again this year. Here’s our ballot, which we need all of you to fill out

by May 4. Seriously—May 4 of this year. See, our Best of Maui issue hits the streets on July 13, but we need time to tabulate your collective wisdom. So get to it!

FOOD & DRINK

Male bartender

Pizza

Female bartender

Breakfast

Saimin

Coffee house

Luau/Dinner show

Mexican food Italian food

GOODS & SERVICES

Lunch

Bookstore

Restaurant

Hardware store

Sushi

Hair stylist

Spam Musubi

Record store

Chef

Secondhand store

Burrito Fine dining

POLITICS & ENVIRONMENT

Dining with a view

Place to watch the sunset

Burger

County official

Dinner

Political activist

Chinese food

Use of county funds

Business lunch

Environmental issue

Health food store

County blunder

Pupus Fish tacos

SPORTS & LEISURE

Local food

Swimming beach

New restaurant

Barbecuing beach

Steak

Beach to look at beautiful people

Sandwich

Snorkeling spot

Mai tai

Public pool

Cheap food Place to buy wine

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT

Fish sandwich

Movie theater

Ice cream

Band

Pancakes

Radio station

Plate lunch

Place to dance

Fish & Chips

Thing about the Fair

Farmer’s market

Musician

Smoothie

Radio personality

Mail your Ballots to 33 N. Market Street, Suite 201, Wailuku 96793 or fax to 244-0446 LETTERS

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

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CONTENTS

ADDRESS: 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793-1742 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446

VOLUME 9 • ISSUE 40

COVER STORY 10

•Weapon of Mass Destruction The Pentagon says its vaunted depleted ura nium bullets and shells aren’t dangerous to the soldiers who use them. With thousands of Hawai’i soldiers and guardsmen rotating through Iraq, here’s why local activists aren’t so sure. – by Anthony Pignataro

MAUI COUNTY MANUFACTURED IN JAPAN

5

•LEtters to the Editor •Eh Brah!

•Cunning LIngle

6

•LC Watch •Sending out an SOS

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Sit on it today, Sleep on it tonight

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MARCH 30, 2006

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n NEWS

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9

8

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www.futonlifestylesMAUI.com

Will Maui’s new scrap metal player save the day? - by Jared Libby

7 8

•The Maui 10

9

•News of the Weird •Ted Rall Cartoon

Position (& Favorite chemical element)

•Coconut WIreless •Overheard

ONO KINE GRINDS 12

•Gushy Girl Moments Are best experienced at I’o - by Ashley Fitch

13

•Dining Listings Island-wide hours, locations and price ranges

DA KINE CALENDAR 17 •This Week’s Picks 20 •Film: Speed Fulfills World’s Fastest Indian ( ) – by Cole Smithey

21 •Movies & Times 22 •A&E: The Original Artsy Boy in Glasses

A love letter to Elvis Costello - by Samantha Campos

23 •The Grid & Calendar Listings

CLASSIFIED 27 •Personals 28 •Classified Listings 29 •Sign Language 30 •Mind, Body & Spirit 31 •HoloHolo Girl

Editor: Anthony Pignataro anthony@mauitime.com (Pm, Promethium) Associate Editor: Samantha Campos sam@mauitime.com (Ta, Tantalum) Calendar Editor: Heidi King heidi@mauitime.com (O, Oxygen) Contributing Writers: Caeriel Crestin, Jared Libby, Ted Rall, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey Illustration: Guy Junker, Glenn Watson Photography: Michele Furmato, Sean M. Hower, Jessica Pearl Art Director: Rudi King rudi@mauitime.com (Rd, Rudidium) Production Assistants: Wendy Higa, David Spink Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers brad@mauitime.com (Au, Gold) Advertising Executive: Ashley Fitch ashley@mauitime.com (Hg, Mercury) General Manager: Jennifer Russo jen@mauitime.com (Ne, Neon) Admin. Exec: Kimberly L. Welch klw@mauitime.com (Pt, Platinum) Web Design: Bump Networks www.bumpnetworks.com Publisher: Tommy Russo tommy@mauitime.com (B, Boron)

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2006 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited.

Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor.

MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

COVER DESIGN: RUDI KING

LETTERSTOTHEEDITOR

If it’s TUESDAY it must be

MAUI TALKS-TV

HATES US

AMBIVALENT

Reading the Maui Time Weekly makes me wonder how the heck a bunch of haole transplants became responsible for churning out the paper. It actually says a lot about the state of Maui and how much like the mainland it is becoming.

In general, the articles are a waste of ink and paper. With so much happening in these times I feel it is an outrage that you believe Holoholo Girl and stories about Bacon (“Celebrating Good Eats,” March 23, 2006) are appropriate for any reader to digest. I also could care less that you think the theme to Ghostbusters is an antilynching song (Coconut Wireless, March 23, 2006).

Who hired you? Who gave you the authority to cast your weak spells on paper? What is alternative about it? The world has enough alcohol sucking minions. Take it to another level already.

Ponder this life of illusions. Have you even driven the road to Hana?

-Angela King, via email

While I found the article on the effects of hikers in Kahakaloa fascinating (“Hiking to NARS,” Feb. 23, 2006), I was slightly irked by the quotation that opened the story. In fact, [Henry David] Thoreau never said that “in WILDERNESS is the preservation of the world,” as it is often misquoted. As accounted in his essay “Walking,” the actual quote is, “In Wildness is the preservation of the world.”

I find this an important distinction, as one of the greatest points of Thoreau’s arguments in Walden and other essays is that while wildness can certainly be found in wilderness, their relationship is not exclusive. He finds that people have within them a sense of wildness which is devalued by modern society and replaced with more complicated yet hollow values that ultimately lead us to unhappiness. If you’d like to, you can look up the actual passage on print.google.com.

-Gena Gammie, via email

LOVES US I’ve been a Maui resident for about 20 years now and, man, I just look forward every week to your paper. I can’t wait for Thursday. And I just have to say that I love your paper. You guys kick ass. I just love the articles. It’s just so creative and you are so hilarious. And you guys are the only ones reporting the news, as far as I’m concerned.

I love the Coconut Wireless, I love Cunning Lingle, I love it all… You guys put a lot of work into it and, you know, it’s just fantastic. News of the Weird is really fantastic. You guys got such a great paper. I just want to say mahalo…

But anyway, keep up the good work, guys. I love you guys. And don’t let anyone try to put you down. Because you know why? You guys really are hot.

-Lori, via voicemail

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

s.nikhilananda2@gte.net

e i v o Mime!

T

For Cole Smithey’s Review and Maui’s only FREE movie showtimes flip to page 20

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

On The UPside With TERI MAUI’S HOTTEST “CALL-IN” RADIO PROGRAM! SINCE NEW YORK & I’M FROM FLORIDA!

Cunning Lingle What Governor Linda Lingle said in her Jan. 23, 2006 State of the State Address about public safety:

What she didn’t say:

Eh sistah, I just wanted to let you know that I heard you the other day when we were in the junior’s aisle and you said to your young daughter about me, “There’s someone shopping in the little girls section that shouldn’t be.” How nice that you’re teaching your child how to be rude and to hate anyone who doesn’t look like you. Yeah, I could stand to lose a few pounds but if I weighed 10,000 pounds and was hideous and stinky you still would have no right to be so rude. I will never know why you hate me and I don’t care. I chose not to escalate the situation since it was clear that your rudeness embarrassed your innocent daughter. You proved the point that most parents aren’t qualified and don’t deserve to be parents.

SURF

BEST OF MAUI WINNER! “BEST AKAKU PROGRAM-2005” 572-USUS (8787)

“Of all the tasks that government undertakes, none is more fundamental than ensuring the safety of our citizens. The natural disasters of the past year made it clear that civil defense preparedness is a necessity, not a nicety.”

ehbrah@mauitime.com

COVER STORY

Nick Nikhilananda

In our March 16, 2006 issue, we forgot to credit our great cover photo to Victor Spinelli/Zuma Press. Sorry!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less, changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 658 Front Street, Ste. 126A–7278, Lahaina, HI 96761 or send an e-mail to

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Apparently, dam inspections across the state weren’t part of what her administration considered “civil defense preparedness,” even though the recent Louisiana floods were caused by dam breaks. In fact, The Sierra Club apparently forwarded a warning to state health and natural resources officials that the Ka Loko Dam on Kauai was flooding three weeks before it finally gave way and killed seven people, but nothing was apparently done. Attorney General Mark Bennett, whose office is looking into the dam breaks, told the Honolulu Advertiser that the Sierra Club complaint is part of their investigation.

-Anthony Pignataro

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Is there really an UPside to all this madness?

Friday, April 7th

Next week’s guest the always informative Dr. Bob! You know my Shtick... if you’d like to sponsor this show please call me @ 6676968, it’s the sponsors that keep me afloat, fighting, on UPside to all this madness... and I’m Pau for now.

Friday’s at NOON: Sit down, Grab lunch. Have a glass of wine. Roll one up and turn us on.

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Toll Free 866-982-7800 www.ontheupsidewithteri.com email teriontheupside@aol.com Thanks to my sponsors: Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar, Cutter of Maui, Kaimana’s Beach Hale, Ocean Notion, SOS Hawaii, Island Dermatology

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

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MAUICOUNTY

BY JARED LIBBY JARED@MAUITIME.COM

Sending out an SOS

Tiki Lounge

Will Maui’s new scrap metal player save the day?

Junk cars curiously started popping up on Maui two years ago like rusty, burnedout crop circles. The phenomenon gathered into a concern, then a crisis and has now become a bitter joke. As soon as one car gets towed off the roadside, it seems another suddenly materializes and takes its place.

Stepping into this island-wide insult is SOS Island Recycling, which hopes to soon begin operating a new scrap metal recycling facility on a three-acre plot at the Maui Baseyard. According to company vice president Sandy Shadrow, the site will include a 12,000 square-foot enclosed warehouse, a high speed auto bailer—a car crusher—and an Envirorac system, which is used to safely separate fluids from old vehicles.

Together with his brother Don, Shadrow has been in the business of turning junk cars, appliances and even jet engines into reusable metals for nearly 30 years. Both men, he said, recently bought homes on Maui and saw a huge demand for their services.

“We’d drive around and see hundreds

“WE NEED THEIR HELP AND EXPERTISE,” SAID PARSONS. “I’M HAPPY SOMEONE WITH 30 YEARS OF EXPERIENCE IS COMING TO BRING US INTO THE FUTURE.” of abandoned appliances and cars,” Shadrow said. “It’s a mess.”

Maui County Environmental Coordinator Rob Parsons agreed with Shadrow’s assessment. Parsons, who acts as a county liaison for the mayor’s office on a wide range of environmental processes, said meetings with the Shadrow brothers have really encouraged him.

“We need their help and expertise,” said Parsons. “I’m happy someone with 30 years of experience is coming to bring us into the future.”

Shadrow said SOS is investing $1 million dollars into the site and has developed cutting edge environmental control containers that should keep residual pollution to a minimum. The company’s website boasts of the company’s “team of seasoned professionals who combine efficient recycling with environmental responsibility.”

Despite the company’s record, it’s not without at least one blemish. In 2004, an agency representing the town of Pico Rivera in California sued SOS for the costs incurred from environmental cleanup on a piece of property SOS used for a similar scrap-recycling operation.

Court documents cite elevated levels of Polychlorinated Biphenyls (PCBs) in the soil. PCBs are commonly found in fluids

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MARCH 30, 2006

NEWS

used in home appliances, automobiles and other machinery. The EPA lists PCBs as a known human carcinogen citing “overwhelming evidence that PCBs cause cancer in animals.”

Shadrow said the case was settled two years ago and much of the pollution left over was from an automobile wrecking yard that occupied the site before SOS. “Any controversy there has been resolved,” Shadrow explained.

Genie Watson, a spokesperson for the California law firm Daehnke and Cruz, which represented Pico Rivera in the case, said they could not comment regarding the complaints against SOS. Shadrow insisted that his operation would be the most efficient and environmentally conscious on the island. A concrete surface and enclosed structure will limit the impact on soil and cut down on runoff, he said, something other scrap operations on the island don’t have.

Parsons said since the closing of Maui Scrap Metal in Wailuku last spring, the demand for scrap recycling is higher than ever. The only game in town for some time, Maui Scrap didn’t do many of the things required by the EPA and the Department of Health, he said, which in part lead to the yard’s closure. Since then, Kitigawa Towing has been handling the bulk of the island’s scrap auto and appliance collection, said Parsons.

“SOS will provide us with a second choice,”

LC Watch

Parsons said. “We’ll have a little more control of our destiny.”

Shadrow said SOS could begin accepting scrap metal by this summer and will begin serving Maui’s business community first. As the operation gains momentum, Shadrow said all types of scrap from customers island-wide would be accepted at a minimal or possibly no charge.

“We’re going to try not to charge anything,” Shadrow said. But added he couldn’t know for sure until he gets a better feel for what it will cost to dispose of fluids and other hazardous wastes. The drastic need for a solution to Maui’s scrap recycling problem was something the Shadrow brothers could not ignore, he explained.

“It’s like if a doctor was sitting by the pool and a guy has a heart attack. What’s he gonna say? ‘Sorry, I’m on vacation?’“ Shadrow said. “We just couldn’t stand by without doing something. Maui needs this.” MTW

Nobody wants bars and restaurants to get customers drunk and then turn them loose on the streets to drive and get into automobile accidents and kill innocent people. But what’s an establishment to do if employees realize they’ve ceased serving a relatively sober customer and are now just getting a drunk drunker?

Toss them out the door? Keep them inside until they sober up? Under the LC rules, doing either could bring the hammer down.

Case in point is the Tiki Lounge in Kihei. At the Apr. 6 LC Adjudication Board hearing they’ll be pleading not guilty to two counts of over-service.

The incident is vintage LC. Girl goes to bar with friends; girl downs two, maybe two and a half Tequila Cranberries; girl asks bouncer to help her get her friend’s ID that’s fallen through the floorboards; girl gets hysterical when bouncer says he can’t leave his post; girl spits in bouncer’s face; girl gets tossed.

That happened at the Tiki Lounge on July 2, 2005. “We served her two drinks,” said owner Gabriel Sallard. “Now she’s saying we over-served her. Maybe she slammed shots before she came in, I don’t know.”

The Tiki Lounge’s defense is simple: they got rid of her the moment she became demonstrably drunk, and the LC has no evidence that the girl was drunk when bar staff served her last drink. The department has circumstantial evidence, but in the past, that’s been more than enough for them to render a guilty verdict.

At press time, Sallard was still weighing whether to have legal counsel with him during the hearing, even though his not guilty plea means a trial that will pit his establishment against a deputy prosecuting attorney licensed to practice law in the state of Hawai’i. His dilemma is a common one: does he pay $3,000, $4,000 or more for a real attorney and still risk a couple grand in fines, or does he try to handle his defense himself and, at most, end up paying $2,000 if the Board doesn’t buy his defense?

-Anthony Pignataro

MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

The Maui 10

ILLUSTRATION: DREW MORRISON

Who’s the county’s most powerful player?

RANK

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COMPANY Maui Land & Pineapple Alexander & Baldwin Monsanto Hawai’i Dowling Co. Maui Electric Co. Harry & Jeanette Weinberg Foundation Hawaiian Telcom Trex Enterprises Wailuku Water Co. Makena Resort

We joke around a lot here at The Maui 10, but sometimes, some company exercises its power with such cleverness and authority that we’ve got to salute them.

On March 26, a couple dozen Hawaiian activists stood across the street from the Lahaina post office waving signs saying “Mahalo Dowling Company,” trying to drum up authentic grass roots support from Dowling’s Hawaiian Homelands projects. That’s called serious public relations. And it’s a big week for the genetically modified food madcaps over at Monsanto. Their company just donated 25 G’s to The Nature Conservancy’s Kamakou Preserve on Molokai. And that’s some awful good public relations—GMOs aren’t really all that popular on Molokai, where Monsanto runs a GMO seed farm, you know. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MAUICOUNTY WEDNESDAY, MARCH 22 Angus McKelvey is running for the 10th District state representative seat, which lords over the Westside. As a Democrat. And why shouldn’t he? After all, he’s a contributing writer at the Lahaina News. And he’s married to Democrat Greta McKelvey, who got badly beaten by political virgin Kam Tanaka in the 2004 race for the 10th District seat. And his mother is Joan McKelvey, Lahaina News founder and former campaign manager to Republican Brian Blundell, who served a number of years as 10th District Representative until his 2004 arrest for his “inappropriate touching” of an undercover vice cop in a Honolulu park men’s room. He’s running against Kay Ghean—former chair of the Maui County Republican Party—but with credentials like that, how can McKelvey lose?

THURSDAY, MARCH 23 Oh boy! The Simon Cowell-produced American Inventor debuted tonight on ABC! Think American Idol, only more interesting. Instead of singing before a panel of judges the people go on stage and peddle their inventions to four “experts.”

Get it? Good. Anyway, the first—the very, very first—of what should be long line of inventors to take the stage tonight was none other than Hawai’i’s own Brian Conant, inventor of the Flatulence Deodorizer, known throughout the civilized world—and certain counties of Alabama—as the Flat D. Reviewed by fearless reporter Christy Miles in Maui Time’s March 13, 2003 issue, The Flat D is a thin pad that fits inside your underwear and takes away pretty much all the odor that accompanies flatulence. It truly is American genius at its best—yet all four

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

judges rejected it! And not because—as Miles discovered—girls who wish to use it have to wear granny panties instead of their breezier thongs. Rather, the judges felt that it’s the sound of flatulence, rather than its scent, that provokes the most embarrassment. And on that point they’re correct. Still, it’s hard to turn your nose up at a device that does indeed keep your farts from smelling.

FRIDAY, MARCH 24 Today The Maui News runs a classic story on how Lt. Governor James “Duke” Aiona wants anti-drug forces to stop focusing so much on Ice and meth and return to combating so-called “gateway drugs” like “alcohol and marijuana.” The paper seems to swallow this whole and provides no context as to whether Aiona knows what he’s talking about.

To be honest, this is one of those issues where medical studies are ambiguous. But in a brief, completely casual bit of research, I was able to find this sentence from a Dec. 4, 2002 article on WebMD.com: “Approximately 70 million Americans have tried marijuana, and nearly nine in 10 never go on to use cocaine or other drugs, according to federal statistics.”

Granted, that’s from three years ago, but still— if the reefer is a “gateway,” then very few people who get to it end up walking through.

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

SATURDAY, MARCH 25 So Thursday night I’m having a beer with some friends and someone says they’ve just announced a Tornado Watch for Maui. That spurs a huge argument—the details I’ll spare you—about whether a Watch is worse than a Warning, or vice versa. Anyway, after a tornado never hit either my friends, hang-out or me, I forgot about the whole thing—until this morning, when I read in the Honolulu StarBulletin that a tornado slammed into a construction office trailer and some power lines on the island of Lanai at approximately 9:35

p.m. Thursday. The tornado only ranked zero on the Fujita Scale of zero to five so it only did about $50,000 worth of damage. But it was sufficient to get retired LC Board of Adjudication member, future Liquor Commissioner and Lanai resident Ron McOmber’s name in the paper describing the damage wrought by the twister. “It just destroyed it and scattered it all over the place,” he told the Star-Bulletin. Yeah, they’ll do that.

“I’LL DATE ANYONE AS LONG AS SHE DOESN’T TURN INTO MY MOTHER.” -Guy talking at Dollie’s in Kahana, March 21

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TUESDAY, MARCH 28

MONDAY, MARCH 27

So pro-immigration forces are now beating on U.S. Congressman and Senate candidate Ed Case (D, Technically) for his support of a draconian House of Representatives bill that would hammer every illegal immigrant, including “undocumented alien workers.”

Isn’t it beautiful when haoles in Hawai’i complain about “illegal” immigration?

Wheeling, West Virginia-based Ogden Newspaper Group, a right-wing company that owns every paper on Maui except us—The Maui News, Maui Weekly, Lahaina News and Haleakala Times—has made yet another ethi-

Anthony Pignataro was falling down on basketball courts and crying like a little girl when Gonzaga forward Adam Morrison was still in diapers. MTW

SUNDAY, MARCH 26 Tornadoes everywhere. Go figure.

OVERHEARD...

cally appalling decision to pay money to someone it’s covering. Most newspapers just cover events that are newsworthy. They don’t go out and pay subjects to create events that they then write about. Most journalists consider that blatantly unethical, but Ogden’s different.

Back in August, 2005, The Maui News foot the bill when former Iraqi prisoner of war Jessica Lynch and two of her girlfriends visited Maui, then published an embarrassingly lavish story on her (see Maui Time’s “Outside the Boundaries,” Aug. 25, 2005 for more on why this was journalistically unethical). But that was nothing compared to what the home office can do. On March 22 of this year, Ogden helped pay President George W. Bush’s expenses when he visited Wheeling to press the flesh and hold one of his town hall meetings. “We are extremely pleased to have the president in Wheeling again, and we are pleased to help underwrite the expenses.”

Ogden president and CEO Robert Nutting said in one of the numerous stories glorifying the visit that appeared in the Ogden-owned Wheeling News-Register. The mind naturally gravitates to a single question: why the hell does the President of the United States of America need Ogden to help pay his expenses while, ostensibly, just performing his duties as president? Not surprisingly, one nationally recognized media expert has already condemned Ogden’s outrageous behavior. “What a journalistic blunder,” Washington Post media critic Howard Kurtz said in an online chat this morning. “Why compromise yourself in that fashion when it’s a big local story that your reporters will have to cover?”

MOB PENSIONS Because perhaps hundreds of Japanese Yakuza gangsters are nearing retirement age, the Ministry of Health, Labor, and Welfare has drafted rules for the former gambling, loan shark, and protection workers to qualify for benefits, according to a March dispatch from Tokyo in The Times of London. Since organized crime leaves no employment paper trail, exmobsters must supply a letter of retirement from their crime boss in order to sign up, although local governments are expected to accept as partial proof gang tattoos, criminal records and demonstrations of missing finger-tips.

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

tions, complimenting the men’s bodies and barking out exhortations for the men to improve their virility and performances.

Dr. Burton Feinerman, M.D.

CHICAGOLAND SCHOOLS IN CRISIS

Trained in the Mayo Clinic, Rochester, MN

The Chicago Tribune reported in March that dozens of blind students in Chicago public schools are nonetheless required to take driver education classes. One sightless but otherwise optimistic student said she resented the requirement because it made her uncharacteristically dwell on something that she can’t do.

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When Tamara Anne Moonier filed rape charges against six young men in Fullerton, Calif., in June 2004, she seemed the disconsolate victim of vicious predators. However, shortly afterward, one of the accused gave police a video of the entire incident, and Moonier consequently was indicted in 2005 for filing a false police report and defrauding a victim assistance fund. In February 2006, Orange County Weekly published several pieces of dialogue from the video and described numerous “scenes” in which Moonier is shown laughing (27 different times), dominating action, ordering certain sex acts and posi-

When the U.S. Department of the Interior was ordered to reimburse lawyers for American Indians $7 million for their successful lawsuit over missing royalty payments on Indian land, the department decided that budget considerations would force it to raise almost half of that $7 million by cutting back programs of the Bureau of Indian Affairs.

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BRING THE PAIN In January in Kyoto, Japan, a 32-year-old nurse was sentenced to more than three years in prison after she was convicted of relieving her overwork-induced stress by tearing off the fingernails and toenails of immobilized patients. MTW

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Victoria Lundy, 41, in custody in Chillicothe, Ohio, in January for a barroom shooting, apparently smuggled her gun into the jail at the time of her arrest by putting it inside her vagina. A shot was fired in a holding cell, and according to a fellow prisoner interviewed by the Chillicothe Gazette, the gun had gone off when Lundy sat down on a bench in the cell. No one was hit.

Andrew Thurnheer, 45, was elected in January as the highway superintendent in Danby, N.Y., even though he still lives with his parents. He doesn’t sleep in his old bedroom, though; he sleeps in his tree house, 40 feet up, which he built nearly 20 years ago, and which has a generator-powered elevator, a shower and a propane heater, according to a January Associated Press dispatch. And Mr. Kapila Pradhan, also 45, has also been living in a tree for the past 15 years, but that is in a village in Orissa state in India. He apparently sought solitude after a fight with his wife.

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or the generals who run the Pentagon, depleted uranium is a true weapon of mass destruction. Not because it’s a nuclear, biological or chemical warhead demanding international treaties, but because it kills enemy soldiers and tanks better than anything the world has ever seen.

For that reason, U.S. armed forces of every branch put depleted uranium (DU) into their ordinance. U.S. Army and Marine Corps battle tanks fire DU rounds. The U.S. Air Force’s A-10 attack aircraft fires DU bullets. The U.S. Navy uses DU rounds in its Phalanx guns.

Stronger than steel and more lethal than tungsten, which has a tendency to shatter on impact, DU bullets and rounds actually sharpen as they penetrate tank armor.

Depleted uranium also ignites at 340 degrees Fahrenheit, and will incinerate whatever it penetrates.

DU rounds travel farther and hit harder—much harder than anything else in the world’s arsenals. Throughout Iraq and the Balkans, U.S. tanks and aircraft firing DU rounds over the last 15 years have destroyed thousands of enemy tanks with virtually no corresponding losses.

“What we want to be able to do is strike the target from farther away than we can be hit back, and we want the target to be

destroyed when we shoot at it,” U.S. Army Colonel James Naughton told reporters during a March 14, 2003 briefing on DU. “[I]n World War II we faced a problem of not having the overreach we have today.

We don’t ever want to go back to that. And we don’t want to fight even. Nobody goes into a war and wants to be even with the enemy. We want to be ahead, and DU gives us that advantage. We can hit, and they can’t hit us.”

Yes, depleted uranium is a true wonder weapon. It would be the perfect weapon, in fact, if it weren’t for the growing concern that it’s killing our own soldiers. No one really knows for sure, and there are stacks of medical studies that seem to confirm and deny any DU-related dangers, but it’s a fact that more and more researchers are saying depleted uranium exposure may cause a host of kidney ailments and cancers.

The federal government may not be doing anything to address DU concerns, but in Hawai’i, things are different. In the state Legislature, there’s an effort to get DU exposure testing to all returning vets. And no less a health authority than Dr. Lorrin Pang, Maui District Health Officer for the State of Hawai’i’s Department of Health has offered his personal view that DU poses a very real threat to today’s troops.

“DU is the Agent Orange of this war,” said Bill Stroud, president of Vietnam Veterans of Maui, referring to the notorious herbicide used by the U.S. Government during the Vietnam War on huge tracts of jungle that was later shown to cause cancer in soldiers exposed to the sprayings.

“It’s a negligently criminal act by our government. We either get some action or we sentence our guys to a slow and painful death.”

D

epleted uranium—DU, for short—is about 40 percent less radioactive than naturally occurring uranium, but that doesn’t mean it’s safe. It emits alpha particles of radiation—they can’t get past walls, clothes or even skin—but if you eat or inhale DU, you’re in trouble.

You get DU when you make fuel rods for nuclear reactors. According to DU researcher Karen Chun, the U.S. Government has about a million tons of the junk just lying around. So much, in fact, that they literally give it away to munitions makers, who prize it for its exceptional hardness. “They even considered using it for paving material,” Chun told a few dozen people at a Feb. 24 discussion on DU at Maui Community College sponsored by Maui Peace Action.

There’s also increasing evidence that DU may explain a shocking bit of math dating back to the first Gulf War. In 1991, the U.S. sent 696,778 soldiers, sailors and airmen to the Persian Gulf to fight in Operation Desert Storm, which lasted barely a month.

Of those, 148 were killed in action, 467 were wounded and another 145 died in accidents. That’s 760 total casualties.

But since then, the Veterans Administration has reported that more than 183,000 of those who served have filed service-related disability claims for a variety of debilitating and potentially deadly ailments that have come to be known as Gulf War Syndrome. That’s 26 percent of the entire force that deployed. To illustrate how immense that number is, just nine percent of returning World War II vets, five percent of Korea vets and another nine percent of Vietnam vets ever filed for medical disability.

Fifteen years after the conclusion of Gulf War I, and no military or medical official can yet say why there are so many medical problems with Desert Storm vets. Theories include exposure to chemical and nerve agents released accidentally during cleanup detonations after the war, weird chemical poisoning caused by the massive oil well fires ignited by retreating Iraqi forces and experimental anti-nerve vaccines or ultrapowerful bug sprays given to troops just before the war.

For the Pentagon, the first two theories are especially

popular—notably because they carry no liability for the federal government. War is dirty, and modern war brings with exposure to new and deadly toxics hitherto unseen in war. But one theory that isn’t at all popular in the E-Ring or anywhere else in the chain of command is depleted uranium.

U.S. military officials have spent years denying that DU is dangerous to people who come in contact with it. They say research into uranium miners shows no long-term health effects. They even produced their own 2004 study—called “Capstone”—that seems to show that even soldiers carrying DU shrapnel in their bodies show no ill effects.

And they might be correct. The problem is, there are still many noted civilian scientists who say there are too many gaps and limitations in current DU research to say anything certain.

“We have no idea,” Carolyn Fulco, an Institute of Medicine DU researcher told the Daily Press of Hampton Roads, Virginia, which published an exhaustive investigation into DU on Dec. 12, 2004.

Another DU researcher, Beate Ritz of the University of California, Los Angeles, told the paper: “Our human research, as valuable as it is, has a lot of severe limitations.”

Lorrin Pang, the District Health Office for Maui County, says his personal view is that DU poses a health threat. He’s also a retired member of the U.S. Army Medical Corps.

During a Feb. 24, 2006 panel discussion on DU at Maui Community College, Pang referred to a National Academy of Sciences study on uranium miners that showed that while the junk didn’t seem to cause lung cancer or kidney disease, there was some indication that DU could cause a whole host of other cancers, including bone cancer and lymphatic cancer.

Indeed, even the Pentagon, which chose the name “Capstone” for its DU study as a way to subtly hint

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that there was no need to say anything else on the matter, says it’s still doing research. But that research doesn’t extend to getting returning Iraq and Afghanistan vets tested for DU contamination.

For local anti-DU activists, House Bill 2741 offered some hope in this area. “The purpose of this Act is to safeguard the health of Hawai’i’s national guard veterans,” the bill language stated. Sponsored by

lo y Wh

PHOTO: PHOTOGRAPHER’S MATE THIRD CLASS PHILIP A. MCDANIEL, USN

10

MARCH 30, 2006

COVER STORY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO

necessarily for the reason Major Anthony gave. Screening returning vets from Iraq and Afghanistan using the current testing regimen may tell us nothing about their possible exposure to DU. At the February DU forum at MCC, Lorrin Pang said that his reading of the available DU literature shows that it may be next to impossible to find out how DU is actually poisoning the human body.

That’s because it isn’t actually the uranium that’s causing problems, but rather oxides and other chemical compounds that are created when DU rounds strike the ground, armor, etc.

It’s these compounds—and not simply the depleted uranium—that may be causing serious health problems when inhaled.

But finding these compounds could be all but impossible.

“I’m not sure science has a test to find byproducts of DU,” Pang told the MCC crowd. “The urine test for uranium is easy, but you have to have a piece of shrapnel in you… It’s not just DU—it’s DU after an explosion. It’s very easy for the military to say DU is gone. Of course it’s gone—it’s converted to another chemical.”

h —t

LETTERS

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hat’s really scary is that Hawai’i National Guardsmen and U.S. forces stationed in the islands don’t have to go to Iraq to get DU exposure. Early this year the anti-war group DMZ Hawaii/Aloha ‘Aina obtained through the Freedom of Information Act a Sept. 19, 2005 email from a military official outlining a survey of the Schofield Barracks.

“We have found much that we did not expect, including recent

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Pang said DU impact strikes could create four to five different oxides. He added that these “may be chemically very different from DU” and very “hard to detect.”

At this point during the MCC panel discussion, Bill Stroud of the Maui Vietnam Vets group asked what was the point of testing returning soldiers if the tests probably weren’t going to show anything.

“There are two ways to monitor,” Pang said. “Check now [and] check in a few years. It’s never too late to test. You can always monitor for symptoms… A cautious person will say, ‘I will watch these soldiers.’

When you don’t know, you monitor and you watch.”

find of depleted uranium,” Samuel P. McManus of the U.S. Army Engineering and Support Center in Alabama told U.S. Army official Ronald Borne. “We are pulling tons of frag and scrap out of the craters in the western area to the point where it has basically turned into a manual sifting operation. Had this not been a CWM [Chemical Warfare Materiel] site, we would have moved mechanical sifters in about 5 weeks ago but the danger is just too high.”

In a Jan. 6, 2006 Honolulu Advertiser story on the memo, U.S. Army officials confirmed that clean-up contractors at Schofield Barracks had located 15 tail assemblies from D-38 uranium alloy rounds that dated to the 1960’s. The army officials said the rounds posed no danger.

Yeah, no danger, except to Pentagon public relations. Much the way the military officials spent years vigorously denying that Agent Orange caused the cancers that were killing Vietnam vets, they denied that U.S. forces ever used DU rounds during training exercises at Schofield or any other base in Hawai’i.

It’s possible military officials are correct in their assertion that depleted uranium doesn’t cause Gulf War Syndrome or any other medical problems. But given their track record, they can hardly blame people for not trusting them. MTW

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seven Democrats—including Mele Carroll (D, 13th District) from Maui—and introduced in late January of this year, the bill sought to help veterans get federal health screenings for DU exposure and establish a task force to “study the health effects on these veterans of exposures to hazardous materials, including depleted uranium, during their service.”

The bill almost immediately stalled in the House Public Safety and Military Affairs Committee. According to a legislative aide familiar with the bill, HB 2741 has been modified into a “resolution”—a toothless statement that lacks any force of law and merely advocates that returning vets should get DU-exposure testing. The change came about, the aide said, after committee members consulted with the state Adjutant General’s office. The aide said that according to the Adjutant General—Major General Robert G. F. Lee, the overall commander of all state Guard forces—such testing “wasn’t necessary.”

A spokesman for the Adjutant General’s office confirmed that.

“We feel as though it’s not necessary,” said Major Charles Anthony. “All returning soldiers, airmen, marines and sailors coming back from combat zones are given medical screenings. Everyone from the Army Guard coming back from Iraq or Kuwait is given extensive health screenings. What’s proposed is somewhat redundant.”

In fact, the Adjutant General’s office may be right—but not

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My roommate Brooke and I often get suspicious looks when we show our ID’s to bartenders and servers and they see we were born on the same day. This was the case the other night when we decided to celebrate our birthday at I’o in Lahaina.

We picked I’o because of the oceanfront dining and reputation for outstanding pan-Pacific cuisine.

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Sunset is the best time to dine at I’o but we opted for a later dinner that could also serve as a pre-party to the rest of our evening. Soon after being seated, we kicked off the evening with a round of Cosmopolitans. After chatting for a few minutes about life on Maui, our server wished us each a happy birthday and then asked if we had any food allergies.

It wasn’t long before she returned with two strong and tangy Cosmos. We browsed the menu while discussing our plans for the rest of the night. Since everything looked so good, we decided an array of appetizers was the best way to cover the most ground.

The Mad Hatter ($10) was one of the first dishes to arrive.

Sautéed scallops, mushrooms, chilies in a lobster coconut curry sauce and puff pastry covered the elegantly decorated plate. The scallops and mushrooms were tender and cooked perfectly. Brooke and I thought the coconut curry sauce was a bit rich but it was still delicious.

The other dish was a Macadamia Brie Salad ($10), consisting of Kula greens, poached Asian pear and Macadamia crusted brie pieces, all tossed in a Dragon fruit sugar cane dressing.

The brie chunks looked and tasted like fried wantons with a creamy filling. The poached pear pieces were soft, but not mushy and complimented the greens and dressing well.

Although our first round of appetizers was good, our second round was to die for.

We split the I’o Crab Cake ($12.50) and the O’o Beets ($8). The crunchy, meaty,

panko crab cake came atop a creamy goat cheese patty, smothered in a tangy garlic aioli and surrounded by a refreshing green papaya slaw. And the roasted red, white and golden beets were tossed with feta cheese, pine nuts and served in a thin crispy shell. To say they were delicious doesn’t do justice to either dish.

When we were through eating, we sipped another round of Cosmos, giving our stomachs a chance to digest. While we enjoyed our drinks and the ocean view, we thought back on all the years we’d been friends.

After our gushy girl moment, it was time for some chocolate. While I’o offers several chocolate desserts to choose from, we already knew I’o’s famous and decadent Chocolate Pate ($8.50) was the perfect way to conclude our meal.

The creamy chocolate fudge is served with a passion fruit anglaise and fresh island berries.

When all was said and done we left I’o full, happy, a little tipsy, and ready to do some serious celebrating. MTW

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Dunes Restaurant - Contemporary local cuisine. M-F, 6:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sa-Su, 6:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. Maui Lani Golf Course, Kahului, 877-7461. $$ El Corita - Mexican food. M-Sa 8 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.3 p.m. 790 Eha, Wailuku, 244-5993. $ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. M-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 1132 Lower Main, Wailuku, 249-8463. $ Fran’s Island Grill - Local grinds. Su-Th, 6 a.m.-8 p.m.; F-Sa, 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 740 Lower Main, Wailuku, 242-8580. $ Gardencafe (Brigit & Bernard's) - European, American. M-F, 10 a.m.-3 p.m.; W-Sa, 5-9 p.m. 335 Ho'ohana St., Kahului, 877-6000. $$ Gianotto’s Pizzeria - Pizza, pasta, sandwiches. Free delivery! M-Sa, 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-8282. $ Ichiban Restaurant and Sushi Bar - Japanese and local cuisine. Su-F 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily, 5-9 p.m. Kahului Shopping Center, 871-6977. $$ Ichiban Okazuya Hawaii - Local. M-F, 10 a.m.-2 p.m.& 4-7 p.m. 2133 Kaohu, Wailuku, 244-7276. $ IHOP - American. Su-Th, 6 a.m.-12 a.m.; F-Sa, 6 a.m.2 a.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 871-4000. $ Kahili - Lunch with a view, served daily from 10 a.m. to 3 p.m. Or enjoy pupus 3-5 p.m. 2500 Honoapiilani Hwy., Waikapu, 242-6000. $$ Kahului Ale House - Wide selection of food with games. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 355 E. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-9001. $ Koho Grill & Bar - American. Daily, 7 a.m.-10 p.m.

Bar stays open serving drinks, pupus & burgers only from 10-11 p.m. 275 Kaahumanu Ave., Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-5588.

Kozo Sushi - Fast food take-out. M-Sa, 10 a.m.-6 p.m. 52 N. Market Pl., Kahului, 243-5696. $ Krispy Kreme - Warm, tasty doughnuts. Su-Th, 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; F-Sa, 5:30 a.m.-12 a.m. 433 Kele St., Kahului, 893-0883. $ Little Ceasar Pizza Station - Fast food. 424 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1566. $ L&L Drive In - Local. F-Sa 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Su-Th 8 a.m.-9 p.m. Wailuku Town Center, 242-1380.

Mama Ding’s Pasteles - Specialty breads and pastries.

Open 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 255 Alamaha, Kahului, 877-5796. $

AK’s Cafe - Local food, pasta, steaks and fresh fish. M-F, 10 a.m.-2 p.m. & 4:45-8:30 p.m.; Sa-Su closed.1237 L. Main St., Wailuku, 244-8774.$ Alive & Well - Healthy food, juices and plate lunches. M-F, 9 a.m.-7 p.m.; Sa 9 a.m.-6 p.m.; Su 9 a.m.-4 p.m. 340 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4950. $ Aloha Grill - Burgers with veggie styles. M-F, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa 11 a.m.-7 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-6 p.m.

270 Dairy Road Marketplace, Kahului, 893-0263. $ Archie’s - Japenese. Daily 10:30 a.m.-1:30 p.m.; M-F, 5-8 p.m.; F-Sa 5-9 p.m. 1440, Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-9401. $ Ba-Le - French-Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho and more. M-Sa, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-7 p.m. 270 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-2400. $ Bangkok Cuisine - Casual Thai food. Open 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 893-0026. $ Biwon Restaurant - Authentic Korean food.

10 a.m.-10 p.m., lunch and dinner. 752 Lower Main, Wailuku, 244-7788. $ Brooklyn Café - Plate lunches and snacks.

Open M-F, 10 a.m.-3 p.m. Corner of Market and Main, Wailuku, 244-5950. $ Café Marc Aurel - Coffeehouse, wine bar. M-Sa, 7 a.m.-9 p.m. or later, 28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852. $$ Cupie’s Drive-In - Local lunch take-out. Daily, 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 134 W. Kamehameha Ave., Kahului, 877-3055. $ Da Kitchen - Local fast food. M-F, 11 a.m.-8 p.m.; Sa, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 425 Koloa St., Kahului, 871-7782. $ Da Sushi Bar - Full menu and a variety of sushi.

M-F, 11 a.m.- 2 p.m.; Su-Th, 5-9 p.m.; F-Sa, 5-11 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-4849. $$ Denny’s - Open 24 hours, serving breakfast, lunch or dinner. 430 Kele St., Kahului, 873-5550. $ Dragon Dragon Chinese Restaurant - Open daily 10:30 a.m.-2 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. Maui Mall, Kahului, 893-1628. $ Dish - Homemade meals frozen and ready to pick up. They even deliver. M-F, 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m.; Sa, 10 a.m.-2p.m.150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-1414. $$

Manaña Garage - Latin-American cuisine with unique and colorful decor. Cool, quaint bar. Su-Th, 11 a.m.-9 p.m.; F-Sa 11 a.m.-10:30 p.m. 33 Lono St., Kahului, 873-0220. $$ Marco’s Grill & Deli - Italian. Daily, 8 a.m.-10 p.m.

444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-4446. $$ Matsu Restaurant - Japanese. Daily, 10 a.m.-6 p.m.

161 Alamaha St., Kahului. 871-0822.

Maui Bake Shop - French bakery and deli. Su-F, 6:30 a.m.-2:30 p.m. Sa, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 2092 Vineyard, Wailuku, 242-0064. $ Maui Coffee Roasters - Coffeehouse, deli. M-F 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa 8 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 444 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 877-2877. $ Maui Mix Plate - Traditional foods of the people who call Hawai’i home. M-Th, 9 a.m.-9 p.m.; F-Sa, 9 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 Ka’ahumanu Ave, Kahului, 877-0706. $ Maui Tacos - Mexican-Island fast food. M-Sa, 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 9 a.m.-6 p.m. Queen Ka’ahumanu Center, Kahului, 871-7726. $ Mercado - Latin market. Open M-F, 8 a.m.-5:30 p.m.

325 Hukilike St., Kahului, 871-5067. $ Mike’s Restaurant - Chinese, local. Daily, 10:30 a.m.9:30 p.m. 1900 E. Main St., Wailuku, 244-7888. $ Piñata’s - Fresh and wholesome Mexican food from “Kitchen Sink” burritos to quesadillas. M-Sa, 10:30 a.m.-8 p.m.; Su, 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 395 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 877-8707. $ Pulehu BBQ - Local plate lunches with a Southern smokehouse twist. 11 a.m.-7 p.m. 1500 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 244-4049 or 244-6159. $ Rainbow Dining Room - Located in the Maui Beach Hotel. Buffet-style restaurant featuring different foods each night of the week. Daily, 5:30-8:30 p.m. 170 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Kahului, 877-0051. $$ Rosie’s - Local. 8 a.m.-close. 1322 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-1471. $ Ruby’s - American ‘50s cafe. M-Th 7 a.m.-9 p.m., F-Su 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. $ Saeng’s Thai Cuisine - Vegetarian, meat and seafood Thai entrees in a casual garden setting. M-F 11 a.m.-2 p.m.; Daily 5-9:30 p.m. 2119 Vineyard, Wailuku, 244-1567. $$ Saigon Cafe - Delicious and affordable Vietnamese cuisine with excellent service. M-Sa 10 a.m.-9:30 p.m.; Su 10 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 1792 Main, Wailuku, 243-9560. $$

Sheik’s Restaurant - Local favorites. M-Th 5:30 a.m.-10 p.m.; F-Sa 5:30 a.m.-11 p.m. 97 Wakea Ave., Kahului, 877-0121. $ Simply Healthy Cafe - Healthy Hawaiian food. Open M-F 11 a.m.-2 p.m. 95 Mahalani St.,Cameron Center, Wailuku. 249-8955. $ Simply Sweets Bakery - Bakery, deli. M-Th, 7 a.m.5:30 p.m.; F, 7 a.m.-6:30 p.m; Sa, 7 a.m.- 4 p.m. 150 Hana Hwy., Kahului, 893-0700. $ Siu’s Chinese Kitchen - Chinese. 9 a.m.-8 p.m. 70 E. Ka’aumanu Ave., Maui Mall, 871-0828. $ Squeaky’s Family Restaurant - American. 8 a.m.3 p.m., 4 p.m.-9 p.m. 197 N. Market St., Wailuku, 2444100. $ Stillwell’s Bakery & Cafe - Desserts, breads, sandwiches, salads and soups. Open 6 a.m.-4 p.m. M-Sa. 1740 Ka’ahumanu Ave., Wailuku, 243-2243. $ Sushi Go - Conveyor-belt sushi! M-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. Ka’ahumanu Center, 877-8744. $ Sub Paradise - Sandwiches, salads. Open M-F, 7 a.m.-6 p.m.; Sa, 7 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-9 a.m. 395 E. Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-8779.

Takamiya Market - Plate lunches, corned beef, sashimi, salads. 5:30 a.m.-6:30 p.m. 359 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-3404. $ Tasty Crust - Local-style cuisine since 1944. Su, TuTh 6 a.m.-11 p.m., F-Sa 6 a.m.-10 p.m., M 6 a.m.-3 p.m.

1770 Mill, Wailuku, 244-0845. $ Tiffany’s - Featuring 103 items of local and Asian entrees. Featuring DJ and Karaoke. Open 10:30-2 a.m.

1424 Lower Main St. Wailuku, 249-0052. $ Tin Ying Chinese Restaurant - Buffet style lunch take-out, as well as sit-down dining. 10 a.m.-10 p.m.

1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-4371. $ Tokyo Tei - Teriyaki beef and fish, tempura, katsu, saimin and more. 11 a.m.-1:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-8:30 p.m. 1063 E. Lower Main St., Wailuku, 242-9630. $ Valley Isle Seafood - Known for their luau stew, along with seafood. M-F 10 a.m.-5:30 p.m., Sa 10 a.m.-4 p.m., Su 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 475 Hukilike St., Kahului, 873-4847. $ Wei Wei BBQ & Noodle House - Affordable Chinese cuisine. 9:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 210 Imikala St., Wailuku, 242-7928. $ Wow-Wee Maui Cafe - Unique candy bars, bagels, coffees and more. 6 a.m.-9 p.m. 333 Dairy Rd., Kahului, 871-1414. $

MEXICAN

FIESTA

We’ve always been Maui’s one stop for great coffee but did you know we have

MONDAYS!

Breakfast • Continental and real lunch served 8am-6am Happy •• KitchenHour:3pm-close Hours:7am-4:30pm ship worldwide • We 1-800-645-CUPS

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MON-1-1/4 LB LIVE MAINE LOBSTER $21.95 TUES-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES WED-1LB. ALASKAN KING CRAB LEGS $21.95 THUR-14OZ PRIME RIB $18.95 FRI-KAMA’AINA 50% OFF DINNER ENTREES

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180 Dickenson St. • Lahaina • 661-7082 LETTERS

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DINING

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

13

DININGLISTINGS SOUTH MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Take-out seafood, chicken, ribs. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0788. $ Amigo’s - Authentic Mexican food. Open 9 a.m.-9 p.m. daily. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 879-9952. $ Antonio’s - Italian cuisine in a cozy atmosphere. 5 p.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 8758800. $$ Aroma D’Italia Ristorante - Southern Italian cuisine and full wine list. Open M-Sa, 5-9 p.m.

1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0133. $$ Ashley’s South Shore Cafe - Burgers, local plates and sandwiches. M-Sa 7 a.m.-8 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 362 Hukulii Pl. (behind Tesoro gas station), Kihei, 874-8600. $ Azeka’s Ribs & Snack Shop - Daily specials, sandwiches, burgers, sushi, musubi & even “mini-meals”. Daily 7:30 a.m.-3 p.m., marinated meat products available until 5 p.m. Azeka Makai Shopping Center, Kihei, 879-0611. $

VOTED BEST BURGER ON MAUI

BY MAUITIME WEEKLY READERS

FRESH FISH STEAKS • SALADS BABY-BACK RIBS CHICKEN

On Front St. in Lahaina upstairs in

The Wharf Cinema Center

667-0908

WE SUPPORT

LOCAL

FARMERS

BadaBing! - Pasta, pizza, regional specials and full bar.

11 a.m.-10 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 875-0188. $$ Beach ’n Bagels Cafe - Flavored cream cheeses, smoked salmon, sandwiches, salads, smoothies and coffee drinks. 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd., Dolphin Plaza, 875-7668. $ Big Wave Cafe - Breakfast, burgers, sandwiches, salads, wraps, ahi, pasta, pretty much everything. Daily 7:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1215 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8688. $ Bistro Molokini - California, Island cuisine. Poolside.

11 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea, 875-1234. $$ Bocalino Bistro & Bar - Mediterranean cuisine. Late night menu served until 1 a.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 8749299. $$ Blue Marlin Harbor Front Grill & Bar - Get amazing seafood, steaks, sandwiches, pizza and sushi. 11 a.m-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-8844. $$ Buzz’s Wharf - Steaks, seafood and more. 11 a.m.-9 p.m. Ma’alaea Harbor Village, 244-5426. $$ Café Café - Coffee and specialty drinks, sandwiches.

Breakfast, Lunch & Dinner menus coming soon… Daily 6 a.m.-11 p.m. 2395 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-4700. $ Cafe Kiowai - Authentic Japanese fare according to centuries-old tradition. 6-11 a.m. 5400 Makena Alanui, Maui Prince Hotel, 874-1111. $$ Caffe Ciao - Italian infused island food. 12-3 p.m., 5:3010 p.m. The Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 875-4100. $$ Capische? - Contemporary Italian with a twist and an extensive wine list. 5:30-10 p.m. Wailea Diamond Resort, 879-2224. $$$ Cyberbean Internet Cafe - Gourmet coffees, sandwiches, smoothies and salads. M-Sa 7 a.m.-9 p.m., Su 8 a.m.-8 p.m. 1881 S. Kihei, 879-4799. $ Da Kitchen - Huge portions of local Hawaiian food. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7782. $ Denny’s - Open 24 hours for breakfast, lunch or dinner.

2763 S. Kihei Rd., 879-8600. $ Dina’s Sandwitch - Deli sandwiches, salads, hot dogs, potato salad and saimin. Open 11 a.m.-10 p.m.

145 N. Kihei Rd, 879-3262. $ Enrique’s Restaurant - Mexican food with vegetarian items. Open M-Sa, 10 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su, 10 a.m.-8 p.m.

2395 S. Kihei Rd., 875-2910. $ Ferraro’s - Gourmet Italian cuisine oceanfront with live violin and guitar. 11:30 a.m.-5:30 p.m., 5:30 p.m.-9 p.m. Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Fiesta Time - Superior Mexican taqueria. 11 a.m.-8 p.m. 300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 244-5862. $ Five Palms Restaurant - Local produce and fish featuring Pacific Rim seafood. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2960 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2607. $$ Greek Bistro - It’s Greek, of course! Apps, salads, entrees and daily specials. 2511 S. Kihei Rd, Kihei, 8799330. $$ Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods - It’s a natural food store with a fantastic salad bar and healthy premade options. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 8754356. $ Horhitos Mexican Cantina - Burritos, salads and “food for gringos.” M-Sa 5 p.m.-2 a.m. 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei, 891-MEXI. $ Humuhumunukunukuapua’a - Hawaiian and Polynesian cuisine oceanside. 5-9:30 p.m. Grand Wailea Resort, 875-1234 ext. 4900. $$$ Jawz Tacos - Island-style tacos and burritos. 11 a.m.9 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-TACO. $ Joy’s Place - Organic foods that are low fat, low salt and wheat free. Open M-Sa, 10 a.m.-5 p.m. 1993 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9258. $ Keoki’s Fish ‘N Chips - Open for breakfast at 7 a.m.

Kukui Mall, 891-1400. $ Kihei Caffe - Breakfast and lunch with lanai seating, hearty portions, tasty sandwiches. 5 a.m.-2 p.m. 1945 S. Kihei Rd., 879-2230. $

L&L Drive In - Local. 4:30 a.m.-9 p.m. Piilani Village Center, Kihei. 875-8898.

Life’s A Beach - Nachos, burritos, prime rib, grilled mahi mahi and lunch specials. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8010. $ Longhi’s Wailea - Seafood, meat and pasta entrees.

M-F 8 a.m.-10 p.m., Sa-Su 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883. $$$ LuLu’s - Ribs, burgers, chicken wings, Black ‘n Blue Ahi and more. Pool tables, cute bartenders & a porch-esque dining room. 11 a.m.-2 a.m. (Food service ends @ 10 p.m.).1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944. $ Ma’alaea Waterfront Restaurant - Seafood and continental cuisine. Open daily from 5 p.m. Milowai Condominium, 50 Hauoli St., 244-9028. $$ Marco’s South Side Grill - Beautiful setting complements the hearty Italian food and excellent wines.

7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041. $$ Maui Espresso & Shave Ice - Finest Hawaiian shave ice, coffee, fruit smoothies and shakes. 6:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 2439 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0414. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in juices and island spices. 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kamaole Beach Center, 879-5005. $ Mulligan’s On the Blue - Maui’s authentic Irish pub, plenty o’ Irish food, whiskey and beer. 7 a.m.-2 a.m.

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131. $$ Nick’s Fishmarket - Fine dining in open air and elegance with amazing seafood dishes and fresh fish. 5:309:30 p.m. Fairmont Kea Lani, Wailea, 879-7224. $$$ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. 281 Pi’ikea Ave, Kihei, 879-8400. $$ Pita Paradise - Good food served fast. Serving up a mean Mediterranean-style “gyro,” salads and wraps. MSa 11 a.m.-9:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m. Kihei Kalama Village Center, 875-7679. $ The Place - Eclectic. 11 a.m.-3:30 p.m., 5 p.m.-9:30 p.m.

300 Ma’alaea Rd., Ma’alaea, 243-2206. $$ Royal Thai Cuisine - Thai food with a large selection of vegetarian dishes. 11 a.m.-3 p.m., 4:30 p.m.-9:30 p.m. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 874-0813. $ Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees. 5:30-10 p.m. Pi’ilani Shopping Center, 303 Pi’ikea Ave., Kihei, 891-1120. $$$ Sansei - Japanese-based Pacific Rim dining, sushi bar and late night menu. 1881 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0004. $$ K Sarento’s on the Beach - Contemporary dining near the water’s edge. Italian cuisine, very romantic. 5:159:30 p.m. 2980 S. Kihei Rd., 875-7555. $$$ Scuba Dogs - Smooties, ice cream, salads, subs and (of course!) hot dogs. Daily 10 a.m.-4 p.m. 1455 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-4994. $ Seawatch - Hawai’i regional cuisine. Open for breakfast and lunch 8 a.m-3 p.m, dinner 5:30 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Drive, Wailea, 875-8080. $$ Shabu Shabu Toji - Healthy and delicious Japanese style fondue. Open for lunch W-F 5:30-9:30 p.m. nightly. 1280 S. Kihei Rd., 875-8366. $ Shaka - Sandwiches & pizza. Shaka it to me baby, yeah! Daily 10:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 1770 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 874-0331. $ Spago - Gourmet cuisine as presented by worldfamous chef-owner Wolfgang Puck. 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Four Seasons Resort Wailea, 874-8000. $$$ Spices - Steak, seafood and more! The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8860. $$$ Stella Blues Cafe - Healthy, quality food in a casual, homestyle setting. 7:30 a.m.-4 p.m., 5-10 p.m. 1279 S. Kihei Rd., 874-3779. $$ South Shore Tiki Lounge - Killer burgers, sausage sandwiches, mai-tais and pizza. Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m., serving food 'till midnight! Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444. $ Sports Page Bar & Grill - Over 100 menu items, including half-pound burgers and deli sandwiches.

Open 11 a.m.-2 a.m. 2411 S. Kihei Rd., 879-0602. $ Sunset Mixed Grill - Japanese, Chinese and Korean dishes. Open 10 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 2395 S. Kihei Rd. 891-1991. $ Surfside Deli - Plate lunches and deli sandwiches.

Daily 8 a.m.-2 p.m. 1993 S Kihei Rd, Kihei, 879-1385. $ Tastings Wine Bar & Grill - Savory and sweet nibbles and an excellent wine list. Open Tu-Su from 5 p.m. 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 879-8711. $$ Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Cafe - Island luxury in ambience and cuisine. Su-M 11 a.m.-11 p.m., Tu-Sa 11 a.m.-11 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983. $$$ Vietnamese Cuisine - Hawaiian Opakapaka filet, soft shell crab and New York steak. Open 10:30 a.m.9:30 p.m. Azeka Place I, Kihei, 875-2088. $$ Yorman’s By The Sea - Southern Pacific cuisine with a blend of cajun and tropical flare. Open 5-10 p.m.

Music nightly. 760 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei, 874-8385. $$ K

UPCOUNTRY Anthony’s Coffee Company - Espresso bar, sandwiches and ice cream. 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. 90 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8340. $ Aha ’Aina - Large variety of omelets, island fish, chicken katsu. Tu-Sa, 7 a.m.-2 p.m.; Su, 7 a.m.-1 p.m. 7 Aewa Place, Pukalani, 572-2395. $$

14

MARCH 30, 2006

DINING

Café 808 - Local diner-style. Open daily 6 a.m.-8 p.m.

4566 Lower Kula Rd., Kula, 878-6874. $ Cafe Del Sol - Sandwiches and fresh fish. 8 a.m.-5 p.m. 3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-4877. $ Café Des Amis - Delicious crepes and Mediterranean fare. 8:30 a.m.-8:30 p.m. 42 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5796323. $ Café Mambo - Mediterranean and Mexican cuisine with Moorish influences. 8 a.m.-9 p.m. BYOB. 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021. $ Cakewalk Paia Bakery - High quality baked goods, sandwiches and specialty cakes. 7 a.m.-5 p.m. 100 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8770. $ Casanova - Fine Italian dining at night and Makawao’s favorite deli by day. 11:30 a.m.-9:30 p.m. 1188 Makawao Ave., 572-0220. $$ Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon - Hearty and healthy grub from breakfast to dinner. 142 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-9453. $ K Colleen’s - 1940s-style urban bistro. Daily 6 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Haiku Cannery, 575-9211. $$ Fresh Mint - Vietnamese vegetarian cuisine. Open daily 11 a.m. to 9 p.m. 115 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799144. $ Hali`imaile General Store - Gourmet dining in a charming atmosphere. 900 Hali`imaile Rd, 572-2666. $$$ Hana Hou Cafe - Hawaiian homestyle cooking and live music. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-2661. $ Island Tacos - Fresh fish, beef and chicken tacos. Daily from 11 a.m.-4 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery. $ Jacque’s Northshore Bistro - Tropical yet festive atmosphere with a sushi bar. 120 Hana Hwy., Paia, 579-8844. $$ Kimura Saimin Shop - Casual, simple, affordable menu. 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku Cannery, 575-5228. $ Kitada’s - Saimin, teriyaki beef, hamburger steak, tofu.

3617 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-7241. $ Kula Lodge & Restaurant - Family-style restaurant with sweeping views of the island. Haleakala Highway, 878-1535. $ La Provence - French-style bistro and patisserie with lanai. We-Su, 8:30 a.m.-9 p.m. 3158 Lower Kula Rd., 878-1313. $$ Livewire Cafe - Coffee and snacks. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Su-Th; 6 a.m.-12 a.m. ,F-Sa. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 5796009. $ Lynne’s Cafe - Affordable homestyle local food. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-9363. $ Makawao Steak House - Daily fish preparations and salad bar. 3612 Baldwin Ave., Makawao, 572-8711. $$ Mama’s Fish House - Fresh fish at “Maui’s favorite restaurant.” 799 Poho Pl., Kuau, 579-8488. $$$ Maui’s Best Tamales & Local Food - Authentic Mexican cuisine. 81 Makawao Ave., Pukalani Square, 573-2998. $ Milagros Food Co. - South American cuisine with an island influence. 3 Baldwin St., Paia, 579-8755. $ Moana Bakery & Cafe - Pacific Rim dining for vegetarians and meat eaters. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 5799999. $ Pa`ia Fish Market - The hot spot for seafood lovers without the upscale pocket. 2A Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8030. $ Pauwela Cafe & Bakery - Healthy, low-fat deli cuisine and daily fresh baked goods. Open 7 a.m.-2:30 p.m. 375 W. Kuiaha Rd., Haiku, 575-9242. $ Polli’s Mexican Restaurant - Paniolo country’s premier Mexican cantina. 1202 Makawao Ave., 572-7808. $ Vasi Gourmet - Cakes and pastries. Open 8 a.m.-9 p.m. M-Sa. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku Marketplace, 5759588. $ Veg Out - Vegan and vegetarian food, from Mexican, Italian and Far East influences. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320. $

WEST MAUI Alexander’s Fish & Chips - Seafood, chicken, ribs.

840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 667-9009. $ Aloha Cantina - Local food. 222 Papalaua St., Lahaina. $ Aloha Mixed Plate - Traditional foods of the varied ethnic groups who call Hawai’i home. 1285 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3322. $ Athens Greek Restaurant - Affordable and authentic gyros, falafel and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 6614300. $ The Bakery - Freshly baked breads and pastries.

Soup and sandwiches available. 991 Limahana Pl., Lahaina, 667-9062. $ Ba-Le - French Vietnamese sandwiches, noodle dishes, pho, saimin and more. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 6615566. $ Bamboo Bar & Grill - Vietnamese, Thai and sushi. 11 a.m.-11 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4051. $ Banyan Tree - Pacific cuisine with a Hawaiian twist.

Ritz Carlton Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Basil Tomato’s Italian Grill - Specializing in Northern Italian cuisine. 2780 Keka’a Dr., Ka’anapali, 662-3210. $$

DININGLISTINGS PRICE GUIDE

$→$10-$20

$$→$20-$40

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Deep-dish specialty pizzas and homemade Pizookies with live music nightly. 730 Front St., 661-0700. $ Blue Lagoon - Island cuisine, surrounded by waterfalls and palm trees. Daily 8 a.m.- 9 p.m.

Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661–8141. $ K Breakwall Cafe - Coffeehouse with snacks.

Open daily 7 a.m.-2 p.m. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-7220. $ Bubba Gump Shrimp Co. - Southern foods with “Forrest Gump” theme. 889 Front St., Lahaina, 661-3111. $$ Cafe O’Lei - Oceanfront dining featuring light and healthy yet hearty gourmet lunch and dinner. 839 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9491. $$ Canoes - Polynesian-American. Open 11 a.m.2:30 p.m. and 5-9 p.m. 1450 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0937. $$ Captain Dave Fish & Chips - American. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-6700. $ Castaway Cafe - Beachside, serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Maui Kaanapali Villas & Resort, 661-9091. $ Cilantro - Fresh Mexican Grill island fish, tacos and burritos. 170 Papalaua St., Lahaina, 6675444. $ Cheeseburger in Paradise - American. 8 a.m.10 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855. $ Chez Paul Restaurant - Fine dining French cuisine, open for dinner only. 820 Olowalu Rd., Olowalu, 661-3843. $$$ K China Boat - The best Mandarin Szechwan cuisine on Maui, open for lunch and dinner. 4474 L. Honoapiilani Road, 669-5089. $ CJ’s Deli & Diner - Reasonably priced comfort foods. Open daily. 2580 Keka’a Dr., Fairway Shops, Ka’anapali, 667-0968. $ Coconut Grove - Steak, seafood and other island favorites. Next to Lahaina Cannery Mall.

Open 5:30-9 p.m. 1312 Front Street, Lahaina, 661-5648.

Comercial Mexicana Store - Authentic Mexican food. Open everyday 10 a.m.-9 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina, 661-6193. $ Compadres Bar & Grill - Western cooking with a Mexican accent. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189. $ Cool Cat Cafe - 1950s-style dinner. Food served 11 a.m. to 10 p.m. Wharf Cinema, Lahaina, 667-0908. $ K Curry-In-A-Hurry - Vegetarian curry dishes.

Open Tu-Sa, 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-4370. $ David Paul’s Lahaina Grill - Fine Pacific Rim cuisine in the intimate dining room. Nightly from 6 p.m. 127 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 667-5117. $$$ K Dollie’s Pub & Cafe - Pizza and full bar. Open daily 11 a.m. to midnight. 4310 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana Manor Shops, 669-0266. $ Feast At Lele - A royal tour of the cuisine of Polynesia. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-5353. $$$ Fish Market - Fresh Fish. 10 a.m.-8 p.m. 3600 L.Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokawai. 661-9888. $ Gaby’s Pizzeria - Casual Italian dining. Open 11 a.m.-12 a.m. daily. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8112. $ Gazebo Restaurant - Casual breakfast and lunch with oceanside setting. 5315 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd, Napili, 669-5621. $ Gerard’s - Fine French dining in downtown Lahaina. 174 Lahainaluna, Lahaina, 661-8939. $$$ Giovani’s Tomato Pie Ristorante - Fine Italian dining located. Open for dinner. 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-3160. $$ Hard Rock Cafe - Good American food at decent prices amongst rock ‘n roll memorabilia.

900 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7400. $ Hawaiian Village Coffee - Old Hawaiianstyle coffeehouse. Open 5:30 a.m.-6 p.m. daily.

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., 665-1114. $ Hecocks - Italian restaurant and cocktail lounge oceanside. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8810. $$ K House of Saimin - Ono homemade saimin, chicken sticks, and haupia pie. Old Lahaina Center, 667-7572. $ Hula Grill - Barefoot bar and beachside dining, 1940s-style. Whaler’s Village, Ka’anapali, 6676636. $$ i`o - Pacific Rim cuisine among awesome sunset views. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8422. $$$ Island Taco - The best soft shell tacos ever! Open very late night, next to Paradice Bluz. 744 Luakini St., Lahaina. $ Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Coffee bar and cafe with great food. 3350 Lower Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787. $

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

$$$→$40 and up

K→Kama’aina Discount

Jonny’s Burger Joint - American-Mexican food served to midnight. 2395 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Ka’anapali, 661-4500. $ Kahuna Kabobs - Soups, brown rice, veggies and kabobs. Daily 9 a.m.-9:30 p.m. Lahaina Marketplace, 661-9999. $ K Kimo’s - Fresh fish, prime rib and their famous Hula Pie. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811. $$ Kobe - Japanese Steak House and Oku’s Sushi Bar. Open 5:30-10 p.m.; Sushi 5:30-11:30 p.m. 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555. $$ L&L Drive In - Local. 10 a.m.-9 p.m. Lahaina Cannery mall. 1221 Honoap’ilani Rd. 661-9888.

Lahaina Coolers - Eclectic American, with late night menu. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-7082. $ Lahaina Fish Co. - Pacific Rim specialties prepared with fresh island fish. Nightly 5-10 p.m. 831 Front St., Lahaina, 661–3472. $$ Lahaina Store Grille & Oyster Bar Cosmopolitan. 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 744 Front St., Lahaina, 661-9090. $$ Leilani’s On The Beach - Relaxed beachfront dining, specializing in fresh seafood and Pacific Rim cuisine. 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 661-4495. $$ Livewire Cafe - Gourmet desserts, coffee drinks, smoothies. Open 6 a.m. to 10 p.m. M-Su. 612 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4213. $ Longhi’s - Elegant fine dining with pasta, seafood and steaks. 888 Front St., Lahaina, 667-2288. $$$ MaLa - Oceanfront dining and organic whole grains cuisine.1307 Front St., Lahaina, 667-9394. $$ Mama’s Ribs & Rotisserie - Serving ribs and roasted chicken, BBQ baked beans, coleslaw and mac salad. Napili Plaza, 665-6262. $ Mango Cafe - Open for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

American cusine, along with some local favorites. Full bar Nightly specials. 7:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 2290 Ka’anapali Pkwy., 667-1929. $$ K Maui Brewing Co. - Fresh fish and kiawe rotisserie meats. Breakfast, lunch, happy hour, dinner and late nite menus. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3474. $$ Maui Sushi - Full sushi bar inside Bamboo Bar and Grill. 5-11 p.m. 505 Front St, Lahaina. 281-2775. $ Maui Tacos - Chargrilled steak, chicken and seafood marinated in pineapple, juices and island spices.

Lahaina Square, 661-8883; Napili Square, 665-0222. $ Mercado - Latino/Mexican market. Open M-F, 8 a.m.5:30 p.m. 3636 L. Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai, 6655900. $ Michael Anthony’s Pizza - Gourmet pizza delivery from Lahaina to Kapalua. 5 p.m.-close. 669-7499. $$ Moose McGillycuddy’s - American, bar. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758. $ Mr. Sub - Specialty sandwiches, salads and homemade soups. 129 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 667-5683. $ Nachos Grande - Fresh Mexican food, fast.

Vegetarian, too. Honokowai Marketplace, 662-0890. $ Nagasako Okazu-ya - Local deli. 7 a.m.-10 p.m. Old Lahaina Center, Lahaina, 661-0985. $ Nalu Sunset Bar & Sushi - Japanese. Maui Marriott, Ka’anapali, 667-1200 ext. 51. $$ Okazuya Deli - Quality Japanese plate lunch. 10 a.m.2:30 p.m., 4:30-9 p.m. 3600 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy., Honokowai, 665-0512. $ Ono’s Surf Bar & Grill - Reasonably priced tapas, Hawaiian style menu for dinner. 6:30 a.m.-10 p.m. The Westin Maui, Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $ Outback Steak House - Quality steaks, shrimp-on-thebarbie, and the Bloomin’ Onion. Open 4-10 p.m. nightly.

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 665-1822. $$ Pacific’O - Elegant oceanfront contemporary Pacific cuisine. 505 Front St., Lahaina, 667-4341. $$$ Penne Pasta - Mark Ellman’s Italian bistro with pasta, pizza and salads. 180 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 661-6633. $ Pho Saigon 808 - Vietnamese cuisine, Saigon steaks, vegetarian delight. 658 Front St., Wharf Cinema Center, 661-6628. $ Pioneer Inn - Breakfast, lunch and dinner daily, with live entertainment nightly. 659 Wharf St., Lahaina, 6613636. $ Pad Thai - Thai, local. Open daily 9 a.m.-9 p.m. 658 Front St., Lahaina, 661-1971. $ Pineapple Grill - Asian Pacific cuisine. Daily 8a.m.10p.m. 200 Kapalua Dr., Kapalua, 669-9600. $ Pipeline Pizza - Fast food. Su-Th 8a.m.-9:30p.m., F-Sa 8a.m.-10p.m. 126 Lahainaluna Rd., Lahaina, 661-7888. $ Pizza Paradiso - Award-winning pasta dishes, salads and Greek gyros. Honokowai Marketplace, 667-2929. $ Plantation House - Hawaiian-Mediterranean cuisine. 2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua, 669-6299. $ Quizno’s Subs - Toasted subs. M-Sa, 11 a.m.-9 p.m., Su, 12-8 p.m. 170 Papalaua Street, Lahaina Mall, 6675111. $ Reilley’s - Gourmet steaks and seafood. Open at 5:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana, 667-7477. $$$

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

Roy’s Bar & Grill - Hawaiian fusion entrees in an upbeat atmosphere. Open nightly from 5:30-10 p.m.

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Kahana, 669-6999. $$$ Rusty Harpoon Restaurant & Tavern - American.

Whalers Village, Ka’anapali, 661-3123. $$ Ruth’s Chris Steak House - USDA prime steak and fine wines. 5-10 p.m. 900 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8815. $$$ Sansei Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar - Japanese, Island. 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua, 669-6286. $$ K Sea House Restaurant - Pacific-Rim, eclectic. 5900 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Napili, 669-1500. $$ Smoke House - BBQ, American. Open 11:30 a.m.-10 p.m. 927 Wainee St., Lahaina, 667-7005. $ Spats Trattoria - Italian. Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali, 667-4727. $$$ Sports Club Kahana Grill - Healthy deli. 4327 Lwr. Honoapi`ilani Rd., Kahana, 669-3539. $$ Sunrise Cafe - Casual and cozy outdoor lanai, serving American food from 6 a.m.-4 p.m. daily. 693 Front St., Lahaina, 661-8558. $ Terrace Restaurant - Breakfast, 6:30-11 a.m. Ritz Carlton, Kapalua, 669-6200. $$$ Thai Chef - Thai food like you’ve never had, with curry, Pad Thai, summer rolls and more. Old Lahaina Center, 667-2814. $

Tropica - Steaks and fresh fish. Open 5:30-9:30 p.m.

Westin Ka’anapali, 667-2525. $$ Vino - Comfort and contemporary cuisine. Open for dinner nightly from 5:30 p.m. Village Course Clubhouse, Kapalua, 661-8466. $$$ Vinny’s Pizza - Authentic New York style pizza, calzones and heros. Open daily, delivery 11 a.m.-10 p.m. 840 Wainee St., Lahaina Square, 661-6773. $ WM-The Restaurant - Metropolitan cuisine. Open daily, 5:30 p.m.-10 p.m. 3350 L. Honoapi’ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898. $$$ Zushi - Japanese. 811 Front St., Lahaina. 67-5142.

For corrections or to get your listing in this section, please fax 244-0446

SMALL PLATES AHI TARTARE $15 With Flax Seed Lavosh & Wasabi Tobiko

CRUNCHY CALAMARI $9 With Aioli & Mojo Verde

SHRIMP a la PLANCHA $16 With Mojo Verde, Romesco & Grilled Pita

SWEET & SPICY CHICKEN WINGS $9 Pomegranate, Ginger & Chili

SPICY LAMB PITA $11 With Raita & Grilled Pita HOUSE MADE OLIVES $4

SUGAR SNAP PEAS $9 Ginger, Sambal & Sesame Mild, Medium & Spicy BIG ISLAND ALII MUSHROOMS $11 Garlic & Parsley a la Plancha

TOMATO SHIITAKE MUSHROOM FLATBREAD $12 Mozzarella Cheese and Basil

GARLIC CHEESE FLATBREAD $7 QUARTET OF HUMMUS, RAITA, OLIVES, BABAGANOUSH, FRIED CHICKPEAS & FETA $15 Grilled Pita Bread, Flax Seed Lavosh

Chef Owner Mark Ellman

Executive Chef Gregory Denton

Oceanfront Dining at 1307 Front St. (Across from Lahaina Cannery Mall) • 667-9394

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MARCH 30, 2006

15

$39,988

$26,988

05 Toyota Tundra SR5

03 BMW X5

12K miles! CD+Cassette! Crew! Power! V-8! #43039

Loaded! Leather! Moon Roof! Power! #43032, Lic. MNZ710

$19,988

$21,988

CALL FOR PRICE

$23,988

05 Mercedes ML500 All Wheel Drive

05 Ford Ranger Tremor SuperCab

02 Ford F-150 Lariat

04 Chevy Silverado LS

MPF522

CD Changer, 4WD, AT, AC, Alloy Wheels #42967, Lic. MNH567

Bed Liner! Power! Auto! Ac! #43038, Lic. MNZ726

V8, CD, AC, CrewCab, Tilt, Power #42848, Lic. NTU641

$16,788

$4,995

$9,998

$29,887

04 Nissan Sentra SE-R SpecV

96 Chevy Blazer

99 VW Beetle GLS

05 Nissan Titan 5.6 SE

6 Speed! Power! Must Test Drive! #42781, Lic. MKT653

4WD, AC, Power Windows & Locks, Alloy Wheels #42959, MJE073

#42605

4WD, CrewCab, Power, AC, Only 12K Miles #42887

$27,688

$23,988

$23,988

CALL FOR PRICE

04 Toyota Avalon XLS

02 Toyota Tundra SR5

03 Nissan Frontier Nismo Off Road

04 Cadillac SRX All Wheel Drive

#42746, lic. MPF189

V8! 4WD!, Camper Shell! Auto!, Power!, AC!, 4 Door! #43074

4WD! Crew Cab! Power! Cd! #43085

#42067, lic. NFJ940

$41,888

$33,987

04 Dodge Dakota SXT

05 Chevy SSR

05 Lexus IS300

05 MAZDA MIATA

CD, AC,AT, ExtraCab, Super Clean! #81929, Lic. MNJ966

V8, Roadster! 4K Miles! 6.0 Liter! Convertible! #42950, Lic. MNC497

#42743, lic. MPF188

#42847, lic. HFE477

CALL FOR PRICE

$19,988

DAIRY ROAD

WAKEA

HANA HWY JIM FALK MOTORS OF MAUI ALAMAHA

270-2600 • 260 Hana Hwy., Kahului

SALES HOURS OF OPERATION MONDAY THRU SATURDAY: 8AM-8PM / SUNDAY: 1OAM-6PM

*OAC Prices plus tax, lic., registration fee and $195 Jim Falk Motors doc. fee. Credit on approval. Special down payment terms with bank approval only. Vehicles subject to prior sale and may not be exactly as shown. Sale prices may be withdrawn at any time. New vehicle prices are after all incentives and rebates are applied. Ask dealer for complete details. Sale ends one week from publication date.

16

MARCH 30, 2006

DA KINE CALENDAR

Kokua Classic Saturday-Sunday, Ho’okipa Beach Park [SPORTS/BEACH CLEANUP] Call it a feelgood weekend. But what we’ve got going on here is good ol’ fashioned community spirit, sound environmental action, healthy exercise, competition and youth support. Oh, and adultsized partying. The Maui Kokua Classic festivities begin on Saturday, with a Hawaiian blessing at 7:30 a.m. and the beach cleanup following, from Ho’okipa Beach Park to Paia Bay, in conjunction with the Youth Center.

Refreshments provided by Jamba Juice, and lunch courtesy of Pizza Paia. Then let the games begin! The skippers meeting for Bull’s Eye Expression Sessions starts at 1 p.m., then it’s on to Pro Men’s, Women’s and Legend’s sessions, with the big Red Bull Party at Unisan Sushi Bar and Grill in Wailuku at 8 p.m. Day two is for keiki, with contenders meeting at 10 a.m. and competition starting at 1:30 p.m. The day ends with a big BBQ and prizes but for the whole lowdown about Maui Kokua Classic or future events, visit www.tropicalenergy.com.

[SAMANTHA CAMPOS]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446 Give the Planet a Vacation the next time You take one !

BIO-BEETLE.

com

Eco Rental Cars 808-873-6121 Reasonable Rates!

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MARCH 30, 2006

17

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Samantha Campos

Superforum Thursday, 6:30 p.m. at the Ocean Science Discovery Center in Ma’alaea [PUBLIC FORUM] Finally, everyone with a stake in the proposed Superferry that will run between the Hawaiian Islands should appear under one roof to make their case and take questions. Officials from Superferry, Inc., Maui Land & Pineapple, the state Department of Transportation and the Hawai’i state Legislature have all been invited to attend, though some of them are pretty sensitive these days and might not show. Anyway, topics of discussion should still include whale safety, invasive species, maritime law and the environment in general. Noted community activist and retired Maui Community College professor Dick Mayor will act as moderator. The forum is free. The Ocean Science Discovery Center is located next to the Maui Ocean Center at The Harbor Shops at Ma’alaea. For more information, call 244-8385. [ANTHONY PIGNATARO]

Djembe Drums Thursday, 10 p.m. at Casanova [WORLD MUSIC] Del Djembe (pictured left) has been teaching the art of drums on Maui for the past 10 years. But now he’s taking his skins to Brazil so this is his aloha ‘oe show, called “Coconut Grooves,” with the music of Zimbabwe—the Mapenzi Marimba Orchestra— and the drums of Dundun Village, plus a reggaedancehall party with DJ E-Natural and a Queen/King dance contest.

THURSDAY

MONDAY

TUESDAY

MAUI’S TRUE LIVE MUSIC VENUE WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY 30

SEA CITY DOLLS 2

3

SHAKE YOUR LUCID FUSION JAZZ LIVEHEINI MUSIC W R&B KAPAKAHI 9

$3 HEINEKENS 10

SHAKE YOUR LUCID FUSION JAZZ LIVEHEINI MUSIC W R&B KAPAKAHI $3 HEINEKENS

Friday-Saturday, Lahaina and Haiku [HEALTH] According to George W. Bush, “If we don’t succeed, we run the risk of failure.” That’s funny and tragic all at the same time. Research has shown that young children laugh an average of 300-400 times a day, versus an average of about 15 laughs for adults. The Dubya quote may have something to do with this… Be it politics, family, or just the daily grind, we adults aren’t laughing nearly as much as we should be.

Actually, I laugh a lot. Maybe I’m not an adult.

Okay, the point is that Dr. Madan Kataria, the merry medicine man from India, the Guru of Giggling (London Times), now brings the Laughter Club concept to Maui. Following his appearance, our own local Stuart Alexander will be certified as a yoga leader and will begin an Aloha ha Laughter Club that will meet weekly in Lahaina. And there’ll be free public awareness seminars: Friday, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center, and Saturday, 12-2 p.m., The Studio Maui, Haiku. For more info, visit www.laughteryoga.us or contact the American School Of Laughter Yoga at (626) 755-5999. [HEIDI KING]

➤➤➤➤➤FRIDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SATURDAY ➤➤➤➤➤SUN

March/April SUNDAY

Laughter Yoga is No Joke

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

31

1

7

8

SPRING BREAK SIN CITY with DJ STYLZ Flava Zone House of Stylz Girls Gone Wild

4

5

6

TOP TEN TUESDAYS

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR live music

LIVE MUSIC

12

13

14

15

PARTY LIKE A ROCK STAR live music

LIVE MUSIC

DJ STYLZ House of Stylz

SIN CITY with Flava Zone

Call for info Ladies Free Before 10pm 11

TOP TEN TUESDAYS Call for info Ladies Free Before 10pm

TONIGHT Thursday, March 30

SPRING BREAK SIN CITY DJ STYLZ with House of Stylz Flava Zone

CHECK PARADICEBLUZ.COM FOR CALENDAR UPDATES • CLUB ATTIRE STRICTLY ENFORCED FRIDAY AND SATURDAY NIGHTS

with a masters in sex, drugs, and rock ‘n’ roll. They’re somewhere between glam rock and post eighties punk

744 FRONT STREET • A FEW STEPS BELOW FRONT STREET • 667-JAZZ (5299) • paradicebluz.com 18

MARCH 30, 2006

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PHOTO: DIANE “LIVONN” ADAM

April Fools

Art Continuum

Friday-Saturday, 7:30 p.m. at Steppingstone Playhouse

Sunday, 7:30 p.m, Cafe Marc Aurel [GROUP SHOW] This is the first in a series of ongoing art exhibits, featuring 15 local artists in a standing-room reception with live entertainment.

For info, call 244-0852.

[COMEDY] It’s the quintessential weekend for an improv visual-musical-comedy romp called “Fool’s Gold,” brought to you by the wit-slinging masters of the Inspirates (formerly the Pono Players). Tickets: $15. The Steppingstone Playhouse is located on the second floor of the Ka’ahumanu Mall near Macy’s Men’s/Home store. For more info, visit www.inspirates.com or call Steven at 298-BARD.

Levy & Friends Saturday, 4 p.m. at Lahaina Civic Amphitheater

Sea City Dolls

[REGGAE/BENEFIT] Dancehall legend Barrington Levy (pictured left) and Detour Posse headline this benefit concert for Ginee “Gigi” Dickison, a longtime Maui resident battling ovarian cancer.

Featuring Marty Dread & the Kryptones, Inna Vision, Ras Gabriel & 4-Word, Versatile with special guests B.U.B., MC Spence Jah, DJ Addamon and Ben Gali. All ages show. Gates open at 3 p.m.

Tickets: $26 advance/$36 at the door, available at Beach Road Records (Kihei), Bahama Mama (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Paradice Bluz (Lahaina) and Maui Sea Skins (Haiku). For more info, visit www.goodvibezmusic.com. Or to make a donation to Dickison’s cause, call 1-800-642-8399.

Friday, 10 p.m. at Paradice Bluz; Saturday, 10 p.m. at Life’s a Beach; Sunday, 10 p.m. at Hapa’s [MUSIC] Here’s more warped sounds from Seattle, for you lovers of such psycho-rock music ventures. I can’t tell you what they’re like but hey, sometimes the mystery is enticing—especially from a band that touts itself as “somewhere in time between the glaring glitz of glam-rock and the perpetual parade of posteighties punks.” Works for me but I’m twisted like that. Check venues for more info.

DAY

➤➤➤➤➤MONDAY ➤➤➤➤➤TUESDAY ➤➤➤➤➤WEDNESDAY

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MARCH 30, 2006

19

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Speed Fulfills Anthony Hopkins takes his career to the limit

seacitydolls.com

SUNDAY, APRIL 2ND 9:00 PM $10 ADMISSION

41 EAST • LIPOA • LIPOA CENTER KIHEI • 879-9001

TONIGHT AT PARADICE BLUES @ 9:00 PM

20

MARCH 30, 2006

FILM

Writer/director Roger Donaldson (Thirteen Days) comes full circle on the subject of his 1971 documentary Offerings to the God of Speed, about Bert Munro the elderly New Zealand motorcycle enthusiast who took his modified 1920 Indian Scout to the Bonneville Salt Flats to break speed records. Anthony Hopkins teams up with Roger Donaldson for the first time since their work on The Bounty (1984) and gives an impassioned performance as Munro that sits snugly against the actor’s canon of brilliant character studies.

Hopkins transports a simple story about an aging man with an ageless dream into the stuff of legend.

The World’s Fastest Indian

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/127 mins.

The World’s Fastest Indian exists in a hermetic bubble of wide-eyed school boy charm that Roger Donaldson projects with fastidious attention to Bert’s deep-rooted relationship with his vintage motorcycle.

From the opening scene of Bert revving his bike’s earsplitting engine to the dismay of his sleeping neighbors, Donaldson establishes Bert’s idiosyncratic passion and understated fierceness.

The linear road story that follows serves as a steady but permutating rhythm over which Hopkins embellishes his role with subtle nuance and gentle charisma. As we learn more about Bert’s distinctive nature, the movie gains dramatic weight as a narrative about fulfilling dreams regardless of one’s age.

Bert’s most loyal believer is a young New Zealand neighbor boy (Aaron Murphy) who shares Bert’s contagious brand of youthful excitement for the mysteries of motorcycle mechanics. Bert’s endearing nature attracts strangers to help him along the way on his quest to test the limitations of his personally modified motorcycle at the Bonneville Salt Flats.

From the ship’s captain who ferries Bert and his bike to America in exchange for Bert’s cooking, to a transvestite motel clerk in Hollywood, to the genial racers at Bonneville who make sure Bert gets his big chance, the audience is pulled into the magnetic sphere that Hopkins projects.

Anthony Hopkins has said that he will not return to any Silence Of The Lambs sequels, and it seems fitting that the man that London’s Old Vic Theater voted the greatest British actor of all time should choose his roles for interior aspects close to the actor’s own.

For as gratifying as it was to be scared witless by Hopkins’ unforgettable roles in

Faster, man, faster! horror films like Magic (1978), it is especially refreshing to see his inner light shine through the pale blue eyes of a man savoring every second of his earthbound existence. The World’s Fastest Indian keeps Anthony Hopkins in the rarified dramatic air that he belongs. MTW

SHOWTIMES

MOVIECAPSULES Now Showing

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL’S CANDLELIGHT CINEMA Friday, March 31

AQUAMARINE - (PG) - Comedy, Drama, Family Adolescent best friends need a miracle. When a mermaid washes into one of their pools, she promises that she can grant them a wish if they help her out. It’s about growing up, friends and learning that sometimes you have to make sacrifices for the people you love.

Ahhhhh, I got all mushy on ya. 103 min. (HK) BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN - (R) - Drama, Romance, Western - Two cowboys work together, then become friends... and more? See how they deal with the blind hatred of society over a span of like 20 years. 134 min. (HK) CURIOUS GEORGE - (G) - Animation, Family - How cute is this; Jack Johnson does all of the songs and Will Ferrell, Drew Barrymore and Dick Van Dyke are the main voices. As if the little monkey needed any help getting cuter. That is just frickin’ precious. Oh yeah, you know who Curious George is, right? The monkey that gets in trouble all of the time. Think back, you grew up on this stuff. 82 min. (HK) DATE MOVIE - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - Two of the writers for “Scary Movie” put this one together. It looks hilarious and usually spoof movies don’t impress me. I guess you can’t really go wrong with making fun of relationships and the games we play. 83 min. (HK) DOOGAL - (G) - Animation - Based on a U.K. children’s series. A variety of animals, the leader being a dog, go on a dangerous voyage to save the world from falling into the hands of the evil wizard, ZeeBadee. Famous voices of Whoopi Goldberg, Jimmy Fallon, Chevy Chase, Kylie Minogue, Kevin Smith & Jon Stewart. 81 min. (HK) EIGHT BELOW - (PG) - Action, Adventure - Paul Walker stars in this new Disney movie about sled dogs. It takes place in Antarctica where a series of events leads to eight sled dogs being stuck out in a storm. Based on an article in National Geographic.

Unfortunately, it’s cold weather, so Walker will probably be keeping all of his clothes on. 120 min. (HK) FAILURE TO LAUNCH - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - Matthew McCanoughey and Sarah Jessica Parker star. It reminds me of “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days”. Matthew (Tripp) is charming and sexy and doesn’t want to commit. Parker is a Professional Motivator who’s hired by Tripp’s parents to get him to finally leave the nest. But have they finally stumbled upon there soulmates?!? 96 min. (HK) FINAL DESTINATION 3 - (R) - Thriller, Horror Follows the same story line as the first two. High school girl predicts a tragic incident, this time it’s a roller coaster accident, then it happens. The people she convinced to not ride the ride now have to try and cheat death again and again and again... 92 min. (HK) THE HILLS HAVE EYES - (R) - Drama, Horror, Thriller - A family sets off to have a fun little road trip down to San Diego. They’re tires mysteriously blow out and leave them stranded in the middle of nowhere.

Creeping noises and inexplicable things start to happen.....aaaaaaaaaaand...enter the mutant people, begin bloodfest. 107 min. (HK) INSIDE MAN - (R) - Crime, Thriller - Directed by Spike Lee, this heist-that-may-not-be-a-heist picture stars

5 & 7:30 P.M., CASTLE THEATER THE CELESTINE PROPHECY - (PG) - A spiritual adventure, carried along by exhilarating music, that chronicles the discovery of ancient scrolls in the rainforests of Peru and the nine key insights for a worldwide awakening for Humanity that they prophesize, comingles with the story of a man whose own life is at a crossroads and who uncovers life's true purpose and his own destiny through his journey of discovery. 99 min.

Wednesday, April 5 5 & 7:30 P.M., CASTLE THEATER LOOKING FOR COMEDY IN THE MUSLIM WORLD - (PG) - Writer/Director Albert Brooks (Lost in America, The Muse) turns his quirky comedic sense towards India and Pakistan in the hilarious story of a comedian sent by the U.S. Government to perform at the Taj Mahal, among other places, to explore the sense of humor of over 300 million Muslims. "A pleasant laugher and sharp edged comedy" raved Variety, and USA Today chimed in with "the funniest movie premise of the year." 98 min.

New This Week ATL - (PG13) - Comedy, Drama - A 17 year-old has to assume the position of man of the house.

His younger brother is getting into a bad scene and his only joy is going to the hip-hop rollerskating rink and being with his girlfriend. I think its going to be a cross of Saturday Night Fever and Boyz in the Hood. 105 min. (Heidi King) BASIC INSTINCT 2 - (R) - Crime, Thriller - This, the not-at-all awaited sequel to the 1991 Basic Instinct, finds novelist/psychotic killer Catherine Trammel (Sharon Stone) living in England. Oh, and Stone—who’s 48 years old now—supposedly she gets even more naked than in the original.

Enjoy! 114 min. (Anthony Pignataro) ICE AGE 2: THE MELTDOWN - (PG) Adventure, Comedy, Animation - I’m sorry, but I loved the first one. Suprisingly, the sequel may just be up to par. They’ve got the original voices for this unlikely group of pre-historic animals as they cope with a new set of rules due to the ice, y’know, melting. 90 min. (HK) SLITHER - (R) - Horror, Sci-Fi - Something evil is lurking beneath the genteel charm of a small town... (hmm, wonder if it has anything to do with gossiping neighbors?!) Pets start missing, and the rich guy’s acting weird... (Does this movie take place on Maui or what?) As events get more gruesome, the Sheriff and his team resolve to stop the mysterious dark force. (Is it a dark force called “Overdevelopment,” maybe?!) 96 min.

(Samantha Campos)

Denzel Washington, Clive Owen, Jodie Foster and Willem Dafoe. You tell me if it’ll be good. 129 min. (AP) THE LIBERTINE - (R) - Drama - Johnny Depp stars as a scurrilous but disturbingly hot and decidedly freethinking (read: boozin’ and sexin’) poet and the second Earl of Rochester in 17th century England. Oh, he’s such a naughty boy. Do you like him now? How ‘bout now? 104 min. (SC) PINK PANTHER - PG - Comedy - Steve Martin plays well-to-do Inspector Clouseau. The Pink Panther is an amazing diamond that has been stolen and the Inspector, through “unintentional” slapstick comedy and dumb luck, is trying to catch the culprit. Don’t forget about his hilarious accent. 92 min. (HK) THE SHAGGY DOG - (PG) - Comedy, Family - Now Disney is ripping off… Disney. In this “update” of the 1959 Fred MacMurray film of the same name, Tim Allen plays a workaholic District Attorney who turns into the family dog. Man, that’s science fiction! Who’s going to believe Allen is a DA? 98 min. (AP) SHE’S THE MAN - (PG13) - Comedy, Romance - A teenage girl poses as her twin brother at a new school.

It’s a love octagon with everyone crushing on somebody else, teenage angst, confusion and sexual awkwardness.

Amazingly, it might actually be funny. 105 min. (HK) 16 BLOCKS - (PG13) - Action, Thriller - Bruce Willis plays an aging cop that is assigned to get Mos Def’s character from the jail to a courthouse. The problem is; cops want dude dead. It’s tough to be a cop running from the police. 101 min. (HK) STAY ALIVE - (PG13) - Horror, Thiller - There will be no disco dancing in this one. Video game fiends get their paws on a new game that hasn’t been released to the public. Oddly, as gamers die on the screen, they turn up dead in the real world. (HK) TRANSAMERICA - (R) - Comedy, Drama - A conservative transsexual woman finds out she produced a son when she was a male. They meet and end up having to take a road trip together. Felicity Huffman stars.

In case you’re wondering; transsexuals are people that have actually had the operations to make them a different sex than they were originally. 103 min. (HK) ULTRAVIOLET - (PG13) - Action, Sci-Fi - For those of you who missed Aeon Flux back in December but can’t wait for it to come out on DVD, have no fear! This is the exact same movie—hot chicks, lots of gunplay, flashy future, evil government—except with Milla Jovovich instead of Charlize Theron. I can hardly wait! 87 min. (AP) V FOR VENDETTA - (R) - Sci-Fi, Action, Drama - A masked vigilante (Hugo Weaving) known only as “V” rescues a young woman (Natalie Portman) to join him in a struggle against the force of oppression that is the totalitarian government of the future. (SC) WORLD’S FASTEST INDIAN - (PG13) - Adventure, Drama - In this biopic, Anthony Hopkins plays Burt Munro, a 68-year old Kiwi and damned fool who rebuilds a 1920s Indian motorcycle into a racer capable of taking on the land speed record at the Bonneville Salt Flats. 127 min. See Film Critique, p. 20 (AP)

Dean-Dimebag

99

Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, 875-4910 Aquamarine - PG - Th only (12:30, 2:55), 5:15, 7:40, 10 Basic Instinct - R - Fr-W (2:15), 4:45, 7:30, 10, Failure To Launch - Pg13 - Th-Su (1, 3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55, Fr-W (3:15), 5:30, 7:45, 9:55 Inside Man - R - Th-Su (12:45), 4:25, 7:20, 10:05, M-W (1:55), 4:35, 7:20, 10:05 Libertine - R - Th only (2:15), 4:45, 7:20, 9:50 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th-Su (12:30, 2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30, Fr-W (2:45), 5, 7:15, 9:30 V for Vendetta - R - Th-Su (1, 2), 4:15, 5, 7:10, 8, 10, Fr-W (2), 4:15, 5, 7:10, 8, 10

KUKUI MALL

1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 Eight Below - PG - Th only (1:30), 4:45, 7:35 Ice Age 2 - PG - Fr-Sa (1:45), 5, 7:45, 9:40, Su-W (1:45), 5, 8 Inside Man - R - Th (1:15), 4:30, 7:30, Fr-Sa (1:15), 4:30, 7:15, 9:50, Su-W (1:15), 4:30, 7:40 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th (1:45), 5, 7:40, Fr-Sa (1:30), 4:45, 7:30, 9:35, Su-W (1:30), 4:45, 7:50 V for Vendetta - R - Th, Su-W (1), 4:15, 7:30, Fr-Sa (1), 4:15, 7, 9:45

FRONT STREET THEATRE

900 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 Hills Have Eyes - R - Th only (1:30, 4:30), 7:30, 10 Ice Age 2 - PG - Fr (1, 4:15), 7, 9:25, Sa-Su (1), 4:15, 7, 9:25, M-W (4:15), 7, 9:25 She’s the Man - PG13 - Th (1, 4:15), 7:15, 9:45, rF (1:15, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:15), 4:30 , 7:15, 9:45, M-W (4:30), 7:15, 9:45 Stay Alive - PG13 - Th (1:15, 4), 7, 9:30, Fr (1:30, 4), 7:30, 9:30, Sa-Su (1:30), 4, 7:30, 9:30, M-W (4), 7:30, 9:30 V for Vendetta - R - Th (12:30, 3:30), 6:45, 9:50, Fr (12:45, 3:45), 6:45, 9:50, Sa-Su (12:45), 3:45, 6:45, 9:50, M-W (3:45), 6:45, 9:50

“Exuberant, sexy, life-affirming in equal measure.”

starting at

119

KA’AHUMANU 6

$8*

Portable Keyboards $

Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Showtimes) = Matinee ATL - PG13 - Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:15), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (1:45), 4:15, 7, 9:30 Brokeback Mountain - R - Th only 6:35, 9:25 Curious George - G - Th only (1:25, 3:50) Date Movie - PG13 - Th only (12:35, 2:45, 4:50), 7:10, 9:30 Doogal - G - Th only (12:30, 2:30) Eight Below - PG - Th (1:15, 4), 6:50, 9:35, Fr, M-W (1:15, 3:50), 6:40, 9:25, Sa-Su (1:15), 3:50, 6:40, 9:25 Hills Have Eyes - R - Th (1,1:30, 3:30, 4:15), 6:45, 7:15, 9:15, 9:45, Fr, M-W (1:40, 4:10), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (1:40), 4:10, 7:15, 9:45 Ice Age 2 - PG - Fr, M-W (12:30, 1, 1:30, 2:40, 3:10, 4, 4:50, 5:20), 6:50, 7:20, 7:40, 9, 9:30, 10, Sa-Su (12:30, 1, 1:30, 2:40, 3:10), 4, 4:50, 5:20, 6:50, 7:20, 7:40, 9, 9:30, 10 Pink Panther - PG - Th (1:05, 3:15, 5:25), 7:35, 9:50, Fr, M-W (12:35, 2:45, 5), 7:10, 9:35, Sa-Su (12:35, 2:45), 5, 7:10, 9:35 She’s the Man - PG13 - Th (1:20, 4:10), 7, 9:50, Fr, M-W (1:20, 4:10), 6:45, 9:15, Sa-Su (1:20), 4:10, 6:45, 9:15 16 Blocks - PG13 - Th (12:30, 2:50, 5:10), 7:40, 10, Fr, M-W (12:30, 4:55), 9:40, Sa-Su (12:30), 4:55, 9:40 Slither - R - Fr, M-W (12:50, 3, 5:15), 7:30, 9:50, SaSu (12:50, 3), 5:15, 7:30, 9:50 Stay Alive - PG13 - Th (12:45, 2:55, 5:20), 7:30, 9:45, Fr, M-W (12:45, 2:55, 5:10), 7:35, 9:45, Sa-Su (12:45, 2:55), 5:10, 7:35, 9:45 Transamerica - R - Th only (4:30), 6:55, 9:30 Ultraviolet - PG13 - Th (12:50, 3:05, 5:15), 7:25, 9:40, Fr-W (2:50), 7:25 World’s Fastest Indian - PG13 - Daily (12:40, 3:25), 6:30, 9:20

Check Out the NEW FENDERS!

starting at $39999

29

$

MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX

658 Front St., Lahaina, 249-2222 ATL - PG13 - Fr, M-W (1:45, 4:15), 7, 9:30, Sa-Su (11:15, 1:45), 4:15, 7, 9:30 Failure to Launch - PG13 - Th (1:45, 4:15), 7, 9:30, Fr, M-W (2, 4:30), 7:15, 9:45, Sa-Su (11:30, 2), 4:30, 7:15, 9:45 Inside Man - R - Th-Fr, M-W (12:30, 3:30), 6:45, 9:35, Sa-Su (12:30), 3:30, 6:45, 9:35 Shaggy Dog - PG - Th only (1:45, 4:15), 7, 9:30

BOUNTY MUSIC starting at

Castle Theater, 572-3456 The Celestine Prophecy - (PG) - Fr 5, 7:30 Looking for Comedy in the Muslim World (PG13) - Wed 5, 7:30

WHARF CINEMA CENTER

Maui’s Largest Selection of Musical Instruments & Sound Systems for 26 years

Ukuleles

MAUI FILM FESTIVAL

95

Fender Electric Guitar

Drums Sets

starting at

starting at

12500

$

WHILE SUPPLIES LAST. NOT ALL PRODUCTS EXACTLY AS SHOWN.

49900

$

No Money Down • 6 Months Same as Cash • O.A.C. Music Lessons Available

Sale ends 4/30/06

WED, APRIL 5

Rental’s Available

*with MFF passport (5 films-$40)-single tickets Phone: 572-3456 www.mauifilmfestival.com

111 Hana Hwy. • Kahului 871-1141 •www.ukes.com

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

21

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

The Original Artsy Boy in Glasses A love letter to Elvis Costello I first time I saw you, I knew. It was 1977 and you were on TV, filling in for the Sex Pistols as the coveted musical guest on Saturday Night Live. You wore those signature black-rimmed glasses, Buddy Hollystyle, but with attitude. You were on stage with your band, The Attractions, and you’d started to play the first few bars of “Less Than Zero” but then in a signature fuckThe-Man turn, launched into the networkverboten, anti-corporate “Radio, Radio.”

Elvis Costello Sunday, 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC. With Steve Nieve. Tickets: $38, $48, $58. Call 242-7469.

My unpredictable hero! But the suits didn’t appreciate that much; I wouldn’t see you on SNL again for 22 years.

Of course, my crush actually began in the playground. During recess, the older kids would sing the words to the latest radio hits by the GoGo’s, the Police and the Clash. Naturally, they began to sing your stuff, too—“Alison,” “Watching the Detectives,” “(The Angels Wanna Wear My) Red Shoes”—from your first album in 1977, My Aim is True. Later, when I had my own copies, I’d listen to your voice, heartbreaking and snotty, and I fell in love.

I became enamored with your eccentricities. Like, your name, for instance.

You couldn’t be content with Declan Patrick MacManus—which is the name you were born with on Aug. 25, 1954 in London. So you borrowed from the King of Rock ‘N Roll and your maternal grandmother to become Elvis Costello. But then for your seminal album King of America

/1 4 . t a S

l a n fi r foayuoffs pl

(1986), you legally switched back to your birth name, adding Aloysius. Then there’s the “Napoleon Dynamite” moniker—yes, you thought of it first—that you adopted in ’82 for a B-side single, and then four years later attributed to an obnoxious vaudeville character you created on tour, as well.

Ah, but a rose by any other name would smell as bittersweet, eh, Elvis?

My love for you only grew in the ‘80s with “Pump It Up,” “Accidents Will Happen,” “Everyday I Write the Book,” and the fact that you once referred to yourself as “rock and roll’s Scrabble champion.” You may have been impetuous, but critics constantly lauded your literate lyricism.

It was also your eclectic tastes that made my heart aflutter. Once you had that punk-pub rock thing down, you incorporated soul, pop and ‘50’s roots rock, then switched to country—Merle Haggard and Hank Williams covers on Almost Blue (1981)—with the disclaimer, “WARNING: This album contains country & western music and may cause offence to narrow minded listeners.”

Oh, Elvis, there’s just no limit to what you can do! I mean, you’ve collaborated with the likes of Daryl Hall, Chet Baker, Paul McCartney, Burt Bacharach, Diana Krall and the Brodsky Quartet. You’ve performed with everyone from Roy Orbison to the Beastie Boys. And you’ve produced albums for The Specials (ska) and The Pogues (Irish punk/folk). I’ll bet you could talk to anyone at the party, couldn’t you?

We might’ve had a lapse in our romantic flame during the ‘90s. That was when you grew that weird long beard, co-composed an award-winning instrumental soundtrack for a mini-series, toyed with classical music, and

4/3 . n o M

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22

MARCH 30, 2006

DAY&NIGHT

finally broke it off with The Attractions. But then you were back on SNL for their 25th anniversary, where you flipped the switch on the Beastie Boys’ “Sabotage” and they backed you on the oh-now-it’s-okay-to-play “Radio, Radio.” And the light was reignited.

Unbridled ambition is so sexy. The new millennium saw you dabbling in ballet and opera, acting as “storyteller” in Roy Nathanson’s avant-jazz concept album, Fire at Keaton’s Bar & Grill (2000), touring with your new band The Imposters and being inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame (2003). A year

later, you received an Academy Award nomination for “Scarlet Tide” and released a country/blues/folk album, Delivery Man. Then you sang some jazz standards with Marian McPartland and recorded an album with New Orleans’ legendary Allen Toussaint (The River in Reverse, due in May).

But now, Elvis? Now, I hate you. For although much time has passed between us and we may never meet, I am left with this cumbersome affinity towards ill-behaved, bespectacled creative types. And it’s so totally your fault. MTW

“TRUTH OR DAIRY” A PRESENTATION BY

JOHN MCDOUGALL, M.D.

cha

30 TV’s - drink specials

MAUI’S #1 HAPPY HOUR 3-6 PM DAILY

Left to right: Costello, unknown gorilla

N

utrition expert Dr. John McDougall will present the truth about the dangers of milk and other dairy products—information based on facts, not on a big marketing budget or milk mustaches.

former Hawaii A resident and bestselling author, Dr. McDougall has been studying, writing, and speaking out about the effects of nutrition on disease for over twenty years.

FREE ADMISSION & REFRESHMENTS

WEDNESDAY, APRIL 5TH, 7 P.M. CAMERON CENTER AUDITORIUM • 95 MAHALANI ST., WAILUKU

Over 1900 Members Strong - Join Us! 575-7694 - VSH.org

DA KINECALENDAR BIG SHOWS

Ras Gabriel & 4-Word - Thursday-Saturday. 4Word's music is a blend of roots and dancehall, producing a "singjay" style of original lyrics in three-part harmony. The positive sound and message of 4-Word is that of unity and upliftment. 4-Word is a voice for the Rasta today, sharing the fruits of wisdom planted by our ancestors. Featuring Shoshana B. and special guest Jus Goodie. Tickets: $10. Thu, 9:30 p.m., Hapas, Kihei; Fri, Mandala Ethnic Arts, Paia; Sat, 9:30 p.m., Waveriders, Lahaina.

The Rowan Brothers & The Hula Honeys Friday. Chris & Lorin Rowan have been major players on the San Francisco music scene for over 30 years.

From their early collaborations with David Grisham to their recent appearances as members of the Phil Lesh & The Hepcats, the Rowan Brothers have delighted audiences world-wide with their potent mixture of bluegrass-flavored folk and rockabilly. Now they’re teaming up with Maui’s own Hula Honeys for a concert to benefit Mana’o Radio. Tickets: $25. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Fool’s Gold - Friday-Saturday. Yeah, it’s improv comedy. But think Who’s Line Is It Anyway? and add pirates—booty call, anyone? Bring crazy, unique items to place in the trunk for one of the skits. $15. 7 p.m., Steppingstone Playhouse, Ka’ahumanu Mall, www.inspirates.com.

April Fools - Saturday. Rex Navarrete & Da Braddahs Hosted by AZD. World-traveling comic Rex Navarrete brings it home to crack you up, along with the notoriously hee-larious Da Braddahs. $35, $30. Doors open at 6 p.m. Ticket Outlets: Xenon One (Kahului, Wailuku, Kihei); Paradise Supermart (Kahului); Jimi's Asian Food Mart (Old Lahaina Shopping Center). Baldwin High School Auditorium.

Barrington Levy & the Detour Posse - Saturday.

Joined by Marty Dread & the Kryptones, Inna Vision, Ras Gabriel, 4-Word and Versatile, in an effort to raise funds for Ginee ‘Gigi’ Dickison, a long-time Maui resident, who is battling Ovarian cancer. Tickets: $36, $26.

Tix avail. at Beach Road Records (Kihei), Bahama Mama (Paia), Requests (Wailuku), Paradise Audio (Wailuku), Paradice Bluz (Lahaina), & Maui Sea Skins (Haiku). 3:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic Amphitheater.

Elvis Costello - Sunday. With songs like “Pump It Up,” “Watching The Detectives” and “Every Day I Write the Book” (our favorite!)—oh, we could go on and on. For over 25 years, Costello along with his backing group, The Attractions, has changed the face of modern Rock and Roll. Special guest Steve Nieve.

Tickets: $58, $48, $38. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Aha Mele - Monday nights, through Apr. 24. The weekly concert features island personality and storyteller Kathy Collins along with one of Hawai’i’s most loved recording artist, the Grammy nominated Slack Key Guitar Master George Kahumoku, Jr. Guest artists will join Collins and Kahumoku each week. Some of the upcoming artists include Ledward Kaapana, Richard Ho‘opi‘i, Leiohu Ryder, The Hula Honeys and Brother Noland. Tickets: $50, $35, $25. 6 p.m., Maui Myth and Magic Theatre, Lahaina, 661-9913 or 877688-4800 or visit www.ahamele.com.

Molly’s Revenge - Tuesday-Wednesday. Members David Brewer, John Weed, Pete Haworth and Stuart Mason play an assortment of instruments, including Scottish Highland bagpipes, whistles, fiddle, bouzouki, guitar, mandola, and bodhran, with some great singing thrown in for good measure. Irish dancer Bethany Duff will be joining the band on stage to kick up her heels in the traditional manner. Tickets: $15. Tue, 7 p.m., St. John's Church, Keokea, 878-1485. Wed, 8 p.m., Mulligan's, Wailea, 874-1131. For info more visit http://mollys-revenge.com.

TICKETS ON SALE Nellie Olesons - Apr. 6. The original renegade punks of sketch comedy. Named after Laura Ingall’s rich-bitch rival on the classic television series, Little House On The Prairie, the Nellie Olesons have been performing their clever cutting-edge comedy in cities from NY to LA for the last 10 years. "Campy, outrageous and refreshingly raunchy," - LA Times. A portion of the proceeds benefit Maui AIDS Foundation. For more info, go to Thenellieolesons.com or NeoComedy.com.

Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Ballet NY - Apr. 6. Ballet New York is comprised of the cream of the world’s dancers from leading dance companies, each a star in his or her own right. That pedigree, as well as the founders’ relationship with George Balanchine and New York City Ballet, ensures

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an amazing range in the company repertoire, including commissions of exciting new works from today’s leading choreographers. Tickets: $40, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Sweeney Todd - Apr. 7-30. In Victorian London, a vengeful Sweeney Todd returns from jail overseas for a crime he did not commit. With his dazzlingly demented accomplice, Mrs. Lovett, she and the "demon barber of Fleet Street" cook up a hilariously macabre revenge scheme in this crafty, darkly comedic, and captivating musical. Tickets: $20, $18, $15. Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 5 p.m., Iao Theater, 242-6969.

Hapa - Apr. 8. The evocative island sounds created by the slack-key/vocal team of Barry Flanagan and Nathan Aweau have a magnetic appeal. Flanagan’s slack-key innovations are enriched by the vocals and compositions of Aweau, who is as adept with beautiful Hawaiian music as with smooth jazz grooves.

Renowned chanter Charles Ka‘upu adds another cultural ingredient to this engaging program. Tickets: $35, $28, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Thomas Purviance - Apr. 9. After more than 10 years, pianist Thomas Purviance returns to public performance with a beautiful program to include Beethoven’s Sonata Op.27 No. 2 (“Moonlight”), Schoenberg’s Opus 19, works by Liszt, and an allChopin second half: Ballade No. 4 in F Minor and selected nocturnes and etudes. Tickets: $18. 5 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Mele No Ka Oi - Apr. 14. An evening of Hawai‘i music greats; Na Hoku Hanohano award winners Brittni Paiva and Owana Salazar, Grammy winner Jeff Peterson and the renowned Braddah Smitty will be singing & playing old favorites in his own inimitable style. Great music for all ages! Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Dames At Sea - Apr 14-16. An affectionate spoof of 1930-40’s movie musicals; full of comedy, tap dancing, comic love songs, and a dash of local Maui flavor. It's toe-tapping fun for the entire family! Tickets: $38. Fri., 7:30 p.m.; Sat. & Sun., 3 p.m., The Fairmont Kea Lani, 875-4367.

Gypsy Pacific - Apr. 15. Gypsy Pacific is an incredible acoustic string quartet specializing in “gypsy jazz” featuring Tom Conway (guitar), Willy Wainwright (violin), Marcus Johnson (bass), Phil Benoit (guitar).

Special guests are Kelly Covington, Dave Choy and Gene Argel. Tickets: $30. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Kokua Festival - Apr. 19. Once again, Jack Johnson will headline. Now, brace yourselves, Ben Harper is going to perform, too! Also Willie Nelson & the Planetary Bandits, Henry Kapono and Paula Fuga. I’ve got tickets! Yes I do! I’ve got tickets! How ‘bout you?!

Tickets: $44, $33 MACC, 242-7469.

Damian Marley - Apr. 21. "Junior Gong" has honed his skills to this point with a unique gift for blending hard-hitting reality rhymes and eclectic musical interests... a classic reggae sensibility edged with hip-hop, r&b and dancehall. 2005's "Welcome to Jamrock" became an urban phenomenon, and Marley won two Grammies for his efforts. He says, “We’re taking the baton from the elders who made rebel music—we’re new leaders of the old school.” Get irie. Tickets: $35, $29. 7:30 p.m., A & B Amphitheater, MACC, 242-7469.

Craig Morgan & Neal McCoy - Apr. 21. Craig Morgan started writing songs during a 10-year stint in Panama & Korea, remembering the small, meaningful things in everyday life and turning them into tunes to reflect the poetry that surrounds us all. Country music icon Neal McCoy is known as a true and giving citizen as well as a talented musician. He was named the Country Radio Broadcasters' "Artist Humanitarian of the Year for 2005” for his work with the Angel Network and his frequent treks abroad as a USO headliner… wherever American troops need a taste of home. Tickets: $49, $44, $39. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

The Servant of Two Masters - Apr. 21. This rollicking comedy is about a crafty servant who turns somersaults to please both his masters. Tickets: $18, $12.

Tickets avail. at www.mauiacademy.org, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center’s Customer Service Kiosk or 2448760. Fri-Sat, 7:30 p.m.; Sun, 2 p.m., Steppingstone Playhouse.

The Songmaker’s Chair - Apr. 27-29. The first full length-play by Albert Wendt, one of the Pacific's foremost novelists and essayists, The Songmaker's Chair introduces audiences to the lives of those courageous migrant families who have made Auckland their home.

A story of conflict, continuity, and change in three generations of an extended Samoan family. Adult themes suitable for high school age and above. Tickets: $20.

7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

DINING

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In the heart of Olde Makawao Town

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY with DJ BLAST

Casanova’s Famous Ladies Night The evening that earned Casanova the award

“Best Late Night In Maui” 9:45pm 10. Cover $

Fri. Mar. 31st

Thurs. Mar. 30th

COCONUT GROOVES African drums, dance and dancehall farewell performance by DEL DYEMBE Music Starts @ 9:45 pm

THE LADIES OF ILLUSION DJ RAY MASTERS $

10. Cover

Sat. April 1st

WITH MS. MADDELYN ASHTON, AND FRIENDS MS. CHINA LEE, MS. RAENA FOOL FOR FASHION MONTGOMERY MUSIC By VJ Sounds Music Starts @ 10:00 pm $ 10. Cover

Dress up to get down Prizes 4 best fashion Music Starts @ 10:00 pm $ 5. Cover

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com DA KINE CALENDAR

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

23

Thursday

03/30

The New Project $5, 10pm

BOCALINO

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

CAFE MARC AUREL

Friday 03/31 Tom Cherry Band $5, 10pm

F-word Music Series

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

Saturday04/01 Sunday04/02

Monday04/03 – Wednesday04/05

Ohana Groove $5, 10pm

Industry Night w/DJ No Cover, 9:30pm

MON - Duane & Tish Feig, No cover, 10pm; TUE - The New Project w/Jay Molina, Gilbert Emata & Marja, $5, 10pm; WED - DJ Shark In The Water, No cover, 9:30pm

Haiku Hillbillys 7:30pm

Continuum Art Opening 7:30pm

MON - Open Mic, No cover, 7pm

CASANOVA

1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

Coconut Grooves $10, 9:45pm

Ladies of Illusion $10, 10pm

DJ Ray Masters $5, 10pm

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Blast, $10, 9:45pm

CHARLEY’S

Open Mic. Night

M.R.O.

DJ Durty 9:30pm

MON - Kanoa & Friends, 9:30pm

Ras Gabriel & 4-word

Party w/105.5 DJs

Boogie Man & DJ LX

142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9453

HAPA’S NIGHTCLUB

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-9001

Seattle Nights

MON - Willie K, 9pm; TUE - Ultra Fab w/DJ Skinny Guy, 9pm; WED - Dolla Balla w/DJ LX, 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

MON - Reggae at the Rock w/Marty Dread, $5, 10pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Erin Smith Band No cover, 9pm

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL

41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Brothers Cazimero - May 2. They’re baaaack. Each year Robert and Roland Cazimero play their ever-popular Maui May Day Concert. Their beautiful harmonies and acoustic arrangements, along with lively humor, great showmanship and pervasive spirit of aloha have helped spread the love for Hawaiian music around the world. Hula is also a key element on every Cazimero stage. Tickets: $35, $28, $10. 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Spray - May 11. Acclaimed New York City writer/performer Mike Albo presents a humorous fast-paced collection of monologues, characters and dance breaks that take the audience on a tour through freaky, apocalypse-sensitive America, full of botoxic beauty, government fear factors and constant reality show orgasms. A portion of the proceeds go to Maui AIDS Foundation. Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Rampage In Vegas - May 13. Who wants to watch some Vegas styley boxing?!? This girl right here does, I’ll tell ya that much. 12-13 bouts featuring amateur boxers from Hawai’i and Las Vegas. All proceeds benefit Doc Broadus Sports & Entertainment and the local boxing clubs. It’s a reason to feel good about watching some dude get his ass handed to him. Tickets: $500, $300, $100. Italian-American Social Club, 2333 E. Sahara Ave., 280-4174.

Frank De Lima - May 19-20. Frank De Lima's comedy show is a witty revue of banter and songs that poke fun at people, places or situations; whatever he thinks could use a quick kick in the funny bone. Be prepared with new giggles, as Frank constantly updates his show and his collection of outrageous characters, goofy costumes, funny songs and 'zinger' asides to keep the show fresh and funny fo’evah! Tickets: $25.

7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Alison Arngrim - Jun. 8. “Confessions of a Prairie Bitch.” In this hilarious high-energy one-woman show, Little House on the Prairie’s pre-eminent brat, Nellie Oleson (aka Alison Arngrim) takes to the stage to recount her wild adventures in Hollywood and beyond.

Tickets: $18. 7:30 p.m., McCoy Studio Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

Dance Extravaganza - May 20-21. Celebrate dance with Maui Academy of Performing Arts in two spectacular shows for the entire family. The weekend will open with The Extravaganza, a toe-tapping, heel stomping review of jazz, tap, lyrical, and hip hop on Sat. To close the event MAPA’s ballerinas will perform an elegant rendition of the ballet Gaite Parisienne on Sun. Tickets: $20, $14, $12 (Tickets on sale April 2). Sat, 2 p.m.; Sun, 3 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC, 242-7469.

EVENTS Why Whales Do That - Mon-Sat through May 15.

Free informational center about whales with free ongoing showings of the film, “Why Whales Do That”.

10 a.m.-4 p.m. Alongside the Ma'alaea Harbor.

Contact: Anne Rillero 249-8811.

Dog Training - Sign up now to take dog training classes at the Maui Humane Society. Classes start April 11. $110 ($50 discount if your pet was adopted from MHS). 877-3680.

Dog Show - Apr. 12 is the deadline to get your pooch entered into the upcoming dog show. A class on handling your own dog will be held April 1. Another class to train ring stewards will be offered April 9 by VIKC, just to help you and your pet prep. akc.org 573-1192 or 572-0257.

24

MARCH 30, 2006

DA KINE CALENDAR

Cheryl Rae No cover, 9pm

El Dogg No cover, 9pm

Gina Martinelli 7pm

THURSdAY, MARCH 30

WEDNESdAY, APRIL 5

FRIdAY, MARCH 31

John McDougall, M.D. - The dairy industry is really big business, so you might expect hard line marketing from them. But would you expect them to aggressively sell their products if they were known to be harmful to people? In this presentation, nutrition expert Dr. John McDougall will present the truth about the dangers of milk and other dairy products, information based on facts, not on a big marketing budget or milk mustaches. 7 p.m., Cameron Center Auditorium, Wailuku, www.VSH.org or 575-7694.

SuperFerry - Public forum about the Hawaii Superferry. Features speakers presenting pros and cons of Hawaii Superferry with time for Q&A by audience. Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Ocean Science Discovery Center, Ma'alaea, 244-8385.

Taro Festival - 14th Annual East Maui Taro Festival.

You get the idea, taro will be everywhere. EVERYWHERE! In Hana that is. It’s Hana, you’ll be able to find it. Ka Lei Maile Ali`i-The Queen's Women, a reenactment play. Free. 6 p.m. (Dinner avail for purchase @ 5 p.m.),Hawaiian Civic Club at Helene Hall, Kapueokahi (Hana Bay),www.tarofestival.org.

Cesar Chavez Day Luncheon - Second annual Chavez luncheon and award presentation. A project of Enlace Hispano. Reservations required. $10. 11:30 a.m.-1 p.m. 99 Mahalani Street, Wailuku, www.meoinc.org or English, 249-2990; Spanish, 2492993.

Art Night - Every Fri. night. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action, and refreshments, all free & open to the public! 7-10 p.m. Front Street. 667-9194.

SATURdAY, APRIL 1

Taro Festival - Arts & crafts, food booths, poi pounding, lauhala weaving, ulu maika, lo`i kalo, pahu drum carving, lei- making. 9 a.m.-5 p.m. Hana Ballpark.

Weekly Fundraiser - Ballroom and Latin dance. Get your practice on. Singles and couples welcome. $5 donation for Greg Roberts' battle with Skin Cancer.

6:15-9:45 p.m., Maui Arts and Cultural Center's Omori Studio B, 874-0297.

SUNdAY, APRIL 2

Taro Finale - To conclude the East Maui Taro Festival, enjoy a taro pancake breakfast. $7. 7-10:30 a.m. Hana Ballpark.

Sunset Jazz at Whalers Village - The jazz performances are free and feature some of Maui’s-and America’s-greatest jazz artists. 6-9 p.m. Whaler’s Village, Kaanapali. 661-4567.

Yeehaw! - Line dance lessons. All types of music. All ages welcome. Every Sun. Free. 7 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall, surf.song@verizon.net, 667-9513.

MONdAY, APRIL 3

Peak Oil - As the war in Iraq moves into a fourth year with no end in sight, and as the rhetoric over Iran escalates, the subject of “Peak Oil” and the end of the oil age is fast becoming the hot topic of 2006. Beginning this week, followed by every first Monday of the month after, Maui residents concerned about the issue of “Peak Oil” and the creation of a sustainable Maui are invited to participate in a discussion group.

Donations welcome. 7 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku, 573-3250.

TUESdAY, APRIL 4

Socrates - A meeting for discussion on questions people have on using the Socratic method. “One needs no philosophy degree," the organizer of the meeting David Johnston said. “It's open to everyone."

Donations welcome. 4-6 p.m., Maui Booksellers, Wailuku, 573-3250.

Belly Dance - You don’t get this type of entertainment just anywhere. Juliet Malin, Leyla Atwill and Barb Walsh make up Tiara Bellydance Company.

Y’know, I’ve always said every girl should own a tiara.

Have dinner and enjoy the show! 7:30 p.m., The Greek Bistro, 879-9330.

“WOW!” - Wailea on Wednesdays now presents live performances at The Shops at Wailea in the Lower Courtyard. This week: South Seas Island Magic with Henry Kaleialoha Allen. 6:30-8 p.m., 891-6770 ext. 2.

KEIKI

TUE - Curtis, 7pm

ART

Birthday Party - Fri. During "Art Night" on Front Street in Lahaina, the Vintage European Posters gallery will be celebrating it's 5th Birthday. They’re planning a special celebration, with the gallery's collector, Alan Dickar in attendance for an informal poster discussion. Wine and hors d'oeuvres will be served. 610 p.m., 744 Front Street, Lahaina 662-8688.

Culture & Arts Day - Sat. Celebrating the diverse cultures and the arts in Maui County, the event will feature music, dance and drama performances as well as information booths from our community's multiple ethnic groups. "What Does Global Citizenship Look Like?" entries will be on display at Maui Mall from March 29 to April 11, and video entries will be screened at 10 a.m. at the Wallace Theaters. 9 a.m.-4 p.m., Maui Mall.

POETRY

Graphic Design for Teens - Every Mon. Hands-on graphic design class using PC computers with Adobe Photoshop and Illustrator. For teenagers only. Free. 34 p.m. at Hui Malama Learning Center, Wailuku. 2445911, ext. 35.

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m. at Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku. For info, call 276-5467.

After-School Tutoring - Every Tue and Thu. Hui Malama Learning Center provides trained tutors to all children who attend this after school program.

Students who attend will also have the opportunity to learn hula, play ‘ukulele, play games and more. Free.

2:30-4 p.m., 399 N Market St., Wailuku. 986-0700 or 244-5911 for other locations.

Mayor - Thu. Presenting a "Talk Story with the Mayor" town hall style meeting. Refreshments will be provided. Free. 5:30 p.m., Cafeteria of the West Maui Senior Center, Lahaina, 667-9175, 280-9682 or 661-3262.

Weed Warriors - Apr 22. Maui Invasive Species Committee is looking for young adults, ages 14+, to help with real-life data collection and resource management. The upcoming trip is pulling ginger in Waikamoi Rainforest. Space is limited, so call now if you’re interested. 573-6472.

lECTURE Improve Your Skills - Hui Malama Learning Center offers free tutoring for adults wishing to improve reading or spelling skills. If you’re reading this, you probably don’t need it, but maybe someone you know does? Call Jill Beyer at 242-1174.

Entrepreneurship Talk Story - Every Fri. Established and Start-up entrepreneurs as well as other business service providers welcome to share challenges, solutions, brainstorm and network. Free.

11:30 a.m.-1 p.m., Maui County Business Resource Center located in the Maui Mall, 873-8247.

Funny Stuff - Fri-Sun. Dr. Madan Kataria has developed a new yogic technique of laughter workouts where anyone can participate in a group laughter everyday without requiring the use of humor or jokes.

Free public awareness seminars: Fri, 6:30-8:30 p.m., Lahaina Civic Center Social Hall; Sat.,12-2 p.m., The Studio Maui, Haiku, 575-9390.

Health Lecture - Sat. “All About Addiction,” fresh insights for freedom presented by Matthew Hammond. Free. 9:30-11:30 a.m., Dragon’s Den, Makawao, 572-2424.

English as a Second Language - Every Tue & Thu. Hui Malama offers ESL classes for residents and visitors. 9 a.m.-12 p.m., 160 #A N. Market St., Wailuku, 249-0111.

Words of Peace - Wed. & Thu. Prem Rawat broadcasts messages of world and inner peace. Not associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu, 7 a.m.

Akaku Channel 52, www.contactinfo.org, 573-3084.

POLITICAL

Wailuku Community Association - Thu. The Wailuku Community Association is back in action "Working in harmony to encourage a socially, culturally, and economically viable Wailuku" and will be holding an executive meeting to appoint additional directors, establish their committees and plan the agenda for a general membership meeting in April. 6:30 p.m., Maui Booksellers, 573-3250.

GMO Free - Sun. In preparation for the protest on Apr. 8, there is a sign making party for the joint international day of GM opposition. 10 a.m.-2 p.m., Kamaole Beach Park lll, 572-1865.

Talk Story - Mon.-Thu. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m. on KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145.

Maui Talks - Every Tue. A live, public affairs, call-in talk show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m., Channel 53. Call in at 873-3430 or for info call 5728787.

ENVIRONMENTAL

Service Trip - Apr. 7-10. Volunteer in Haleakala Crater and stay at Holua Cabin. Participants will remove invasive species and weed and trim nene habitat.There will be time for relaxation and photography or exploring. www.fhnp.org or 248-7660.

SPORTS Golf Chicks - Sat. Maui Women's Golf Championship Sponsored by Jim Sanders Realty. 7 a.m. Pukalani Country Club and Maui Country Club, 891-9301.

Golf Tournament - Apr. 8. It’s the 18th Annual Central Pacific Bank Golf Tournament! It has a really big title! It’s a benefit for the Maui Arts & Cultural Center! I feel like I’m yelling at you! $500, $150. 6:45 a.m., Makena Resort, 242-2787 ext. 225.

Thursday

03/30

Friday 03/31

JACQUES

Live Entertainment 9pm

Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Kenny Roberts, 6pm

El Nino 6pm

The Dogg House 10pm

MON - Steve Mendoza, 6pm; TUE-WED - Da Hawaiians, 6pm

Thirsty Thursdays w/DJ Stylz, 10pm

Crunch Pups 10pm

Hot Latin Nights w/Jammin’ J 9pm

Adam Bowen 9:30pm

MON - Crunch Pups, 10pm; Tue - Pani Mai & J Dawg, 8pm; WED - Music w/Curtis, 9:30pm

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB 36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

KIMO’S

TBA 10pm

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

KOBE JAPANESE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina - 667-5555

Karaoke, 9:30pm

Karaoke, 9:30pm

LIFE’S A BEACH

Brian & the boys from Cool Rush, 9pm

Chand & Lake Ohana Jam 9pm

Pimp Daddy Gnash 9pm

LOBBY LOUNGE

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30pm

Nils & Anastasia 8:30-11:30pm

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Four Seasons Resort, Wailea - 874-8000

DINNER MUSIC

Sun and Wed; Sal & Estaire Godinez, Mon. All sets 710 p.m. Diamond Resort, 555 Kaukahi, 879-2224.

WEST MAUI

BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - John Kane, Wed, Thu and Fri; Harry Troupe, Sat; Kaleo Phillips, Sun; Clay Mortenson Mon, Tue. All sets from 7:30-10 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Brooks Maguire, Thu, Sat, Sun and Wed; Harry Troupe, Fri; Gail Swanson, Tue. All sets from 4:30-7:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Cool Cat Cafe - Erik Pietsch, Mon and Thu; Hau Phat, Wed. All Sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Hula Grill - Kawika Lum , Albert & Billy, Mon; Jarret Roback and Albert & Billy, Tue; Ernest Pua’a and Brian & Roy, Wed; Ernest Pua’a and Bradah Brian & Don Thu; Bradah Brian & Roy, Fri; TBA, Sat; Kawika Lum Ryan Tanaka & Friends, Sun. All sets 6:30-9 p.m. 2435 Kaanapali Parkway, Building P, Kaanapali, 667-6636.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Acoustic Music every night.

7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapiilani Rd., 667-0787.

Kahana Terrace Restaurant - Harry Troupe, Tue and Thu; Randy Reno, Sat. All sets from 6-9 p.m.

Sands of Kahana Resort, 669-5399.

Kimo’s - Sam Ahia, Wed.-Sat., 7-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Crazy Fingers, Thu, 3:30 - 5:30 p.m.; JD & Friends, Fri-Sat, 2:30-5:30 p.m.; Kilohana, Sun, 3:30-6 p.m; Wed Jarret Robak 3:30 5:30 p.m. 2435 Ka’anapali Parkway, Building J, Ka’anapali, 661-4495.

Maui Brewing Co. - Nino Toscano, Thu-Fri; Kawika Lum Ho, Sat; Damien Awai/ Kawika Lum Ho, Sun; Brian Haia, Mon; Kawika Lum Ho, Tue; Damien Awai, Wed. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 4405 Honoapiilani Hwy #217, Lahaina, 669-3473.

Moose McGillycuddy’s - Greg & Steve, Thu; Llayne & Greg, Fri; Mark & Mike, Sat-Sun; Anastasia, Wed. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., Lahaina, 667-7758.

Pioneer Inn - Ah-Tim Eleniki (Local-style guitar), Thu, 6-9 p.m.; Greg Di Piazza, Wed, 6-9 p.m.; Captain Billy Bones, Tue, 6-8 p.m. 658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Reilley’s Steaks & Seafood - Piano Music with Shiro Mori - Thu., Darrin Lenett - Fri, Gene Argel - Mon. -Tue., Angie Carr, Wed., all shows 6-8 p.m. 4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Ste #304 Kahana, 667-7477 Sea House Restaurant - Hawaiian music with Albert Kaina and Kincades Basques, Thu; Kincade Basques, Fri, Sat, Mon and Tues; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed. All sets 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapiilani Road, Napili, 669-1500.

Whalers Village Events - All performances take place at the center stage. Sun, Magic show and face painting, 6-8 p.m.; Mon, Dances of Polynesian, 6:30-7 p.m., Drums of Tahiti; 7:30-8 p.m.; Tue, Lei making class 12-2 p.m.; Wed, Polynesian Hula, 6:30-7, 7:30-8 p.m.; Wed, Benoit Jazz Trio, 7-8 p.m.; Free. For info, call 661-4567.

WM – Live music nightly, 6-9:30 p.m., Wed; Late night Cafe: Lucid Fusion, jazz trio, Thu, Fri, Sat. 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-7898.

SOUTH MAUI

Blue Marlin Harbor-Front Grill & Bar - Boy Kana’e and Ka’ Uhaneleo, Fri and Mon, 6:30-9 p.m.; Braddah Frances and friends, Sat, 6:30 p.m.; Terri Garrison, Sun, 4-6:30 p.m Maalaea Harbor, 244-8844.

Capische? – Mark Johnston, Thu-Sat; Brian Cuomo,

LETTERS

NEWS

Monday04/03 – Wednesday04/05

DJ El Gato $5, 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE

Saturday04/01 Sunday04/02

COVER STORY

SURF

Maalaea Grill – Benoit Jazz Works, Thu, Fri and Sun, 6:30-9 p.m.; Jimmy C Jazz, Sat, 7-9 p.m. Maalaea Village Shops, 243-2206.

Marco’s Southside Grill – Various artists (piano), Mon-Sun. All sets from 7-10 p.m. 1445 S. Kihei Rd., 874-4041.

Mulligan’s on the Blue – Celtic Tigers, Thu and Fri, 8 p.m.; Celtic Tigers, Sun, 7 p.m.; Gypsy Pacific, Mon, 7 p.m.; Benoit Jazz Works, Tue, 7 p.m.; Joyce & Gord, Wed, 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Seawatch Restaurant - Nightly Music 6-9 p.m. 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr., 875-8080.

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Sunset happy hour, $3 special's. Live entertainment. Tony & Peter, Sun, Tue and Thu; Wed and Fri, Trevor Jones 4-6 p.m. Outdoor seating on the Aloha Jungle Lanai. 1913 Kihei Road, Kalama Village, 874-6444.

Spices - Kenny Roberts, Sun & Mon.; Kaleo Cullen with hula show by Cora, Tue.; Keoki Ruiz, Wed.; Kawika Lum Ho, Thu.; Kaleo Cullen, Fri.; Louis Lambert, Sat. All sets 6-9 p.m. Poolside, The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd, 891-8860.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café – Guitar and vocals w/ Brado, Wed-Fri; Brian Wittman, Sat; Patrick Mayor, Sun-Mon. All sets from 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

MON - Open Mic w/Adam Bowen, 9pm; TUE - Kanoa & Sean of Gomega, 10pm; WED - Hoku, 9pm MON - Nils & Anastasia, 8:30-11:30pm; WED - Jazz w/Sal Godinez & Marcus Johnson, No cover, 8:30-11:30pm

Dr. Nat, 8:30-11:30pm 9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Spats: Weeping Banyan Lounge with nightly Live Hawaiian Contemporary Music 6:30-9:30 p.m.

■ KA’ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0011 Kupanaha: Maui Magic for All Ages: Illusions and dinner show Tue-Sat, 4:30 p.m., Kanahele Room; Lanui, live music and dancing, 6-9 nightly. Free hula show, 6:30-7:30 nightly; Sunday Champagne Brunch with Hawaiian music by Polinahe, 9 a.m.-1 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard Of Ka’anapali Beach Hotel: Live music featuring Hawaii’s premier Slack Key Guitarists Ola Hou with Pekelo Cosma and Ohana Brown, Fri, 6-9 p.m.

Whalers Village Center Stage: Thus, Hula Lessons 3 p.m.- 4 p.m. Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak, 7 p.m.-8 p.m. Fri, Lei Making Class 12-2p.m.

Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sat Drums of the Island 7p.m.-8 p.m. Sun, Island Sounds with Ray Gooliak 7-8p.m. 7-8 p.m. Mon, Dances of Polynesian 6:30 p.m.-7 p.m. Drums of Tahiti 7:30 p.m.

– 8 p.m.Tue, Lei Making Class 11a.m.-1p.m. Music of Hawaii with Bob Jones 7p.m-8 p.m. Wed Polynesian Hula Show 7p.m-8p.m. All Shows free.

■ MAUI MARRIOTT 100 NOHEA KAI DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 667-1200 Nalu’s: Kilohana, Wed, 8-10:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapiilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500

and Rudy Baria, Sun, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; Nils & Anastasia (of VooDoo Suns) live & unplugged Mon and Sat, 8:3011:30 p.m.; Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata, Wed, 8:30-11:30 p.m. Sunset torchlighting nightly.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-1234 Botero Bar entertainment, Live Music, Wed, 5:309:30 p.m.; Strolling Hawaiian duo in the Humuhumunukunukuapua’a nightly.

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 875-4100 Cafe Ciao Restaurant. Live music with Toshomee 6:30 p.m. -9:30 p.m.Thu-Sat.s ■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA East Wing- Live music with Marti Kluth playing classical, pop, and Jazz piano 6:30 p.m. -8 p.m., Wed Lower Courtyard- Live music with Jamie Lawerence and a Hawaiian band 6:30 p.m.-8 p.m., Wed ■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-1922 Hawaiian Entertainment w/hula 6-9 nightly in Kumu Bar & Grill. Hawaiian entertainment 9-11 nightly in the Mele Mele Lounge featuring Pam Gamboa Peterson Mon and Sat, Mitch Kepa & Raymond "Mundo" Medeiros. Paradise & Ka Poe O Hawaii perform at the Luau, Mon, Tue, Thu and Fri.

Yorman’s By The Sea – All That Jazz Band, WedSun 7-10 p.m. 760 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei, 874-8385.

Hawaiian Music: Kincaid & Albert, Thu; Kincaid Basques Fri-Sat, Mon-Tue; Kapule Paoa, Sun; Albert Kaina, Wed; All Hawaiian music shows from 7-9 p.m.

AK’s Cafe - Fri; Ron Kuala’au, 6 p.m. 1237 L Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774.

■ RITZ-CARLTON KAPALUA ONE RITZ-CARLTON DRIVE, KAPALUA, 669-6200

Brigit & Bernard's Gardencafe - Live entertainment. 335 Hoohana St., Kahului.

Lobby Lounge: Live music, 6-10 nightly. Banyan Tree Restaurant: World fusion duo Ranga Pae,Tue-Sat, 6:15-9:45 p.m.

■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 879-4900

Kapalua Indoor Theater: Masters of Hawaiian Slack Key Guitar Concerts series features traditional Hawaiian music. Every Wed 7:30 p.m. Tickets: $40 visitor and $30 kama`aina rate. 1-888-669-3858.

Sunset Terrace: Live Hawaiian contemporary music

by Lono, Mon-Tue; Bobby Krueger, Wed-Thu; Mahalo Greg, Fri; Rama Camarillo, Sat; Mondo Kane, Sun. All sets 6-9 p.m.

CENTRAL MAUI

Café Marc Aurel - Sat; Shimmy Nights Transport yourself to realms of the Mysterious and Exotic with Live Belly Dance performances. Two shows 7 p.m. & 8 p.m. Mon, Express Yourself with Music, Song, Poetry Open Mic Night, 7:30 p.m. all shows no cover.

28 N. Market Street, Wailuku, 244-0852.

Mañana Garage - Nightly Neto & Friends, Latin music, 6:30-9 p.m. 33 Lono Ave., Kahului, 873-0220.

Sushi Go - Presents a concept unlike anything on Maui: Conveyor-belt sushi. Live Music every Wed, 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka'ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

Unisan - Sushi and more. Mon, Tue & Thu; Billy. Wed, Fri & Sat; Allen. All performances 6-8 (or 9)p.m. 2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku, 244-4500.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

Jacque’s - Live Jazz, Mon, 5 p.m.120 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-8844.

Livewire Cafe - Various Artists, Fri-Sat and Wed, 9 p.m. 137 Hana Highway, Paia, 579-6009.

Moana Cafe - Hula Honeys, vintage and contemporary Hawaiian music with elegance and aloha. Live Jazz, Wed and Fri; Anik, Sun, 6-9 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI

■ EMBASSY VACATION RESORT 104 KA’ANAPALI SHORES, LAHAINA, 661-2000 Ohana Bar & Grill: Live music, Thu and Wed; Patrick Major, Fri; Wayne & Friends, Sun; Ernest Pua’a w/ Hawaiian music, Mon and Tue. All sets from 5:30-

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 KEKAA DRIVE, KAANAPALI, 661-3611 Live Hawaiian music, 6-8pm Thu-Sat in the Royal Ocean Terrace. Royal Lahaina Luau featuring authentic Hawaiian and Polynesian song and dance at 5 nightly.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar Entertainment w/hula dancers, 6-8 nightly; Bobby & Ralph, Thu, Mon and Tue; Ralph & Allan, Fri; Fausto & Kawaika, Sat and Sun; Nathan & Ralph, Wed. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset, 7-8 nightly.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 MAKENA ALANUI, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge: Ron Kuala’au, Hawaiian and contemporary guitar and vocals, Sun, 6-10:30 p.m. and Tue, Thu and Sat, 6-8:30 p.m.; Mele ‘Ohana duo, Mon, Wed. and Fri, 9 a.m.-1 p.m. and 6-8 p.m., Mon-Sat, 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 KAANAPALI PARKWAY, 667-2525

■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI HANA, 248-8211

Tropica: Mitch Kepa, Mon and Sat-Su; Benny Uyetake, Tue-Fri, 6-9 p.m. Tableside magic by Fortunato Tue and Thu, and Wed and Sat 7- 9 p.m.

Hawaiian Music in Paniolo Lounge: Thu thru Sun, 6:30-9:30 p.m.; Hula show, every Thu and Sun, 7:30-8:15 p.m. in the Main Dining Room.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 WAILEA ALANUI, WAILEA, 874-8000 Lobby Lounge, Hawaiian music w/Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran, Thu, 5:30-7:30 p.m. followed by jazz w/Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; contemporary music w/Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis, Fri, 8:30-11:30 p.m.; island style trio, Sat and Mon, 5:307:30 p.m. w/hula dancer 5:30-6:30 p.m.; Pam Peterson

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

Send your listings & photos for the Da Kine Calendar to calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

25

Thursday

03/30

LONGHI’S

Friday 03/31

Saturday04/01 Sunday04/02

Monday04/03 – Wednesday04/05

Erin Smith $5, 10pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

Neto, Latin salsa night, No cover, 8-11pm

LULU’S

1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

The Willies, No cover, 8-11pm

Live Music, No cover, 8-9pm; Live DJ, No cover, 9pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapi’ilani Hwy., Honokowai - 669-3474

MAUI WAVERIDERS, B&G

DJ & Dancing

Ekolu

Wild 105.5 Party

Orgasmic

TUE - Open Mic Night; WED - DJ Rapheal, 10pm

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

DJ Brandon No cover, 9pm

DJ Brandon No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Turk, No cover 9pm; TUE - DJ Mackie Mac, $5, 9pm; WED - DJ Mackie Mac, No cover, 9pm

900 Front St, Lahaina - 661-1200

844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

WED - Molly’s Revenge, $15, 8pm

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

NEPTUNES

Live Reggae

Crunch Pups

Live Jazz, No cover 9pm-12am

Live Jazz, No cover, 9pm-12am

Sea City Dolls 9pm

DJ Stylz 9pm

Sin City w/Flava Zone 9pm

SANSEI 115 Bay Dr., Kapalua - 669-6286 SANSEI Kihei Town Center - 879-0004

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

Karaoke, 10pm-1am Karaoke, 10pm-1am

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE

DJ Durty, No cover, 9pm

Backyard Party, No cover, 9pm

Kanoa

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-2555

PACIFIC’O

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

PARADICE BLUZ

744 Front St., Lahaina - 667-5299

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

DJ El Gato 10pm

MON - Erin Smith; TUE - Jarod: WED - House Jams

Lucid Fusion 9pm

MON - Shake Your Heini w/Kapakahi, $5, 9pm; TUE - Top Ten Tues, 9pm; WED - Party Like a Rockstar, 9pm

MON - DJ Ed V, 10pm, No Cover; TUE - DJ Afro-Flatulence, No Cover, 10pm; WED - Crunch Pups, No Cover, 10pm

Backyard Party, No Cover, 9pm DJ Blast, $10, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA

Hyatt Regency, Ka’anapali - 667-4727

Crunch Pups, No cover, 9:30pm

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TSUNAMI NIGHTCLUB

3850 Wailea Alanui Dr. - 875-1234

UNISAN

2102 Vineyard St., Wailuku - 244-4500

Erin Smith No cover, 9:30pm

Kenny Roberts No cover, 9:30pm

The Edge $3, 9pm

Chance & Blues Daddies $3, 9 pm

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

DJ Dancing, $10, 9:30pm-12:30am

Karaoke 10pm

DJ 10pm

Hale No cover, 9:30pm

TUE - Dylan Donkin, No cover, 9:30pm; WED - John Moore Project, No cover, 9:30pm

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26

MARCH 30, 2006

DA KINE CALENDAR

EARLY BIRD SPECIAL

Kapalua 669-6286

*QĹ&#x17D;QPCPGC *CYCKKCP 5GTKGU

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KIHEI, THURSDAY - SATURDAY KAPALUA, THURSDAY & FRIDAY 5:30pm to 6:00pm DAILY

7+8 Â&#x2021; $35 Â&#x2021; SP

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Seafood Restaurant & Sushi Bar

IRRG EHYHUDJHV DYDLODEOH

3

Kihei 879-0004 Near Foodland

Adult Services

JUST FOR YOU BODYWORK FOR MEN Ladies.. find your bliss. Strong, sen- Treat yourself to an awesome fullsual man available for erotic body- body session in a private & relaxing work and tantric experiences. Magic studio. Call Dennis at 344-3425 on Maui 298-5927 outcall only

Petite Beauty

Magdalene’s Garden Specializing in the art of Sacred Sexuality, Erotic Dance Performances, Sensual Massage, Sexual Healing. 250-6468 KENDRA-PRIVATE EXOTIC DANCER For Your Eyes Only! Sexy, Black Girl, busty, petite. Adult Entertainment.

New Incall location and new hours 11am-11pm M-F. No blocked calls 808-756-1756 FROM THE HEART Therapeutic touch, energywork & tantric instruction. Transmute sexual energy for prime health, vitality & Kundalini. 9-9pm daily. 572-2623 TOTALLY RELAX AND LET GO Come and experience my wonderful touch. Very sensuous, enjoyable and healing. 250-4557

for Enchanting Titillating Touch

Beautiful, sexy and sweet!

298-7327

incall/Kihei • outcall upon request

LARGEST SELECTION OF ADULT MOVIES

VIDEO HEAD CLEANERS DVD’S VHS TOYS

269-0814

TANTRIC GODDESS 1-2 Hour Hour Delicious Sacred Encounters Highly Interactive 874-3831 • www.sacredunion.org

Taste of Tantra Sacred Sensual Bodywork

DIVINE TANTRA Spa Session 269-2263 MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-521-6696.

Ad#4288

The Garden of Sensual Delight

to open your heart & delight your body.

GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad# 4003

In/Out Call

891-0501

249-8414 Maui Adult Video The All New!

310 Ho’okahi St. Wailuku Industrial Park Open Mon-Fri @ 2:30PM Sat & Sun @ 3pm

Pleasures inParadise ∫ Love•Compassion•Ecstacy ∫ Exquisite Experiences ∫ Tantric Touch ∫ Intimacy Assured

Magik Mermaids ∫879-3500 ∫

Elegant Ambience ∫ Garden Temple

LADIES: Treat your friends to a LoveShack party in your home FUN - GIFTS - INFORMATIVE Call 573-0303

EROGENOUS...

GUARANTEED TO FIND YOUR PLEASURE ZONE MOST PREFERRED SERVICE ON MAUI

Island Beauties

IN/OUT CALLS • BACHELOR PARTIES

205-3368

Are Waiting For YOU

344-3414 Tantric Loving Bodywork

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM

Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

264-6325

WICKED WAHINES! “Let us show you the wild side of the ISLAND”

Rated #1 Clean, Friendly, Best Selection, Price & Service

TO ADVERTISE 808.283-3260

NORTH SHORE HOTTIES

249-8902

•New Release DVD’s Paris Hilton, WWE Star Chyna, 100’s More

NAUGHT Y F R I S K Y K I TTIES B A C H E LO R PA R T I E S I N D I V I D U A LS • C O U P L E S

We put the Class in Adult Shopping & the Spice in Adult Fun

269-2483

NOW HIRING!

www.ParadiseSpice.com

(808) 249-2449

CHARGE IT! Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

Open Daily 10:00AM to Mid (7:00PM Sun) 1010 B Lower Main St. Wailuku, HI

CLASSIFIEDS

NOW HIRING •Toys, Novelties, Lingerie, Gifts for Couples, Alternative Lifestyle

T O BE C O M E A M EM B ER , C AL L

FAX NUMBER 808.244-0446

1 . 8 0 0 . 71 0 . 8 7 35

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

1.900.226.0169

CALL COSTS $1.99/MIN. MUST BE 18+ TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS USING A CREDIT CARD, CALL

1.800.721.0152

To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920

MEN Seeking Women LET’S GET KNOW EACH OTHER SM, 35, 5’11”, 240lbs, black hair, brown eyes, enjoys going out clubbing, partying with friends, and hanging out at the beach. Seeking spontaneous and open-minded SF, for dating. 878375

INANNA

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit

Paradise Spice XXX Superstore

visit us online at w w w . m a u i t i m e p e r s o n a l s . c o m

ARTIST SEEKING FEMALE SM, 31 eccentric artist, and your a young impressionable girl with a great figure and easy going disposition. Together, well have great sex, great converstation, make great art, and have even more great sex. 943046

B

NEW TO TOWN SM, 33, just moved here from England, so yeah iIve got that cute accent.... looking for some new friends to have fun with, get in touch, see what happens :-) 899982 @ Rory

WHY NOT? SWM, 32, 165lbs, black/brown. I am looking for an open, honest, faithful, loving fem-ale, who is ready to start a meaningful relationship. I enjoy sports, beach, spend time w/family. 898633

PARTY! Sociable, easygoing, fun, open-minded guy, 24, looking for a cool, cut SWF to share the good times in life.

926130

PRIVATE CHEF I might be just what you’re looking for! Love to hike, play tennis, work out, travel around the Isles or abroad. Se944126 eking SF, 25-40. @ mauibuck2 YOUNG AND FULL OF FUN Down-to-earth kind of guy, 34, with a big sense of humor, never afraid of trying something new. Seeking compatible, fun SF, 1850, to share life adventures.

923028 @ okoleman69

MEN Seeking Men

LET’S GIVE IT A TRY SM, 38, enjoys beach, walking dogs, etc. Looking for single male, 35-45, who has varied interest and is seeking a good friend. 883765

CONNECTED!

Spontaneous, sexy, sexy, flirty,, fun… flirty fun…

Text in now to chat, flirt and date...anytime, anywhere!

Text “mauitxt” to 23578 today!

EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

MAILING 33 Market Street Suite 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

There is no charge for registration. Each message of your conversation costs $0.99. Charges will appear on your wireless bill or be deducted from your prepaid balance. Standard text messaging rates/other charges may apply. For terms and conditions, go to www.txt2flrt.com.

What’s this @ symbol all about?

When you see the @ at the end of an ad, that means the advertiser has a profile (and maybe even a picture!) at our online personals site. Note the username listed after the @, and check it out at

www.mauitimepersonals.com For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com LINGO: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not all ads have corresponding voice messages. a service of To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636

LETTERS

NEWS

COVER STORY

SURF

DINING

DAY&NIGHT

A&E

FILM

DA KINE CALENDAR

THE GRID

CLASSIFIEDS

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MARCH 30, 2006

27

AUTOMOTIVE CARS - FOREIGN 1995 NISSAN 240-SX Low Miles, Great Condition. $4500/OBO 573-3376

TRUCKS, MOTORCYCLES, RVS MOPED SALE! Mopeds Plus in Lahaina. $100 off all mopeds. All models come with helmet, cover & alarm. 991 Limahana Place, in the old Requests record shop. 661-8878

Captain Bondo Inexpensive Paint Jobs, & Bodywork Paint Jobs Cars at $469 • Trucks at $669

283-0104 BUY & SELL ‘98 ACURA FOR SALE $8,000 BOO 95,3000 Miles. New Starter. New Alternator. New Brakes.

Call 907-209-0378 FULLY STOCKED HYDROPONIC GARDEN STORE 300 Hukilike St. #2M, Kahului Industrial. Call (808) 283-3427 for hours & directions.

Maui’s mobile Pawn Shop First National Pawn 877-0676 Pay Day Loans Cash Loan Now, $300 Instant , & Pay check loan advances. Kamaaina Loan 242-5555

$BUY & SELL$ JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA ISLAND COINS & STAMPS

WE BUY & SELL

coins, tokens, medals, stamps, paper money, Hawaiiana, sport collectibles

3rd floor Wharf Cinema Ctr.

MARCH 30, 2006

• USE PICTURES NOT JUST TEXT • STOP DRIVING ALL OVER THE ISLAND • CREATE AND MANAGE YOUR OWN ACCOUNT • AND BEST OF ALL...IT’S FREE!

GO to OHANAYARDSALES.COM and see what all the FUN is about!

EMPLOYMENT

INCOME! Nationwide Company Now Needs MUSICAL Home Mailers Now! Easy Work!

HUGE GARAGE SALE INSTRUCTION $50.00 Cash Hiring Bonus! Written April 1st 10am-2pm Guarantee! Free Information Call 1- Sing Out Weekly Classes w/Louise 249 Kulipuu Place Kihei 800-242-0363 ext. 4213 (24 HRS). Lambert/Spring Break 2 for 1 Special!

World Class Vocalist, Pianist, Pro(AAN CAN) Voice Coach, teaches singing from *MOVIE EXTRAS* the heart, piano & songwriting. Maui Sat. 6-9pm.

Earn $150-$300/Day. All Looks/Types Coast-poolside, NEWS FLASH! POLAR ICE CAPS Needed. No Experience Necessary. www.louiselambert.com 205-3971 MELTING AT ALARMING RATE! TV, Music Videos, Commercials, Film, MUSICIAN SERVICES Learn to SCUBA before it’s too late! Print. Call Tollfree 7 days! 1-800-260DO YOU NEED MUSIC FOR 3949 x3025 (AAN CAN) Dive Today with SHAKA DIVERS, ANY SPECIAL EVENT? Professional, Safe, Fun Lessons and GOVERNMENT JOBS Dive Tours. Torpedo Dives, HydroFishnet Productions-All Styles-Call Optix Masks! (808) 250-1234 www. Earn Up to $12 to $48/Hour. Full Karen for Booking. 891-8615 Medical/Dental Benefits, Paid shakadivers.com it’s SHAKA-RIFIC Training.

Clerical, Administrative, Homeland Security, Wildlife, Law Enforcement, More! 1-800-320-9353 x.2001. (AAN CAN)

GARAGE SALES

$500 Police Impounds Cars from $500! Tax Repos, US Marshall and IRS Sales! Cars, Trucks, SUV’s, Toyota’s, Honda’s, Chevy’s and more! For Listings Call 1-800-2984150 xC107. (AAN CAN)

28

OHANAYARDSALES.COM is your NEW, FREE way to BUY and SELL your STUFF.

YOUTH CARE PROFESSIONAL GET PAID TO SHOP! Mystery Shoppers Needed to Pose Assist youth day to day, providing as Customers! Training Provided. them with supervision, support, guidFT/PT. CALL NOW! 1-800-720-3271 ance & activities in residential substance abuse treatment setting; (AAN CAN) wkdays/wkends. FT/PT; $11 to $$CASH$$ $17/hour; BA/AA preferred or HS Immediate Cash for Structured w/exp working with youth. Requires Settlements, Annuities, Law Suits, valid driver’s license/access to insured Inheritances, Mortgage Notes, & vehicle. Send resume to: Maui Youth Cash Flows. J.G. Wentworth & Family Services, Attn: HR, P.O. - #1 1-(800)-794-7310. (AAN CAN) Box 790006, Paia, Hi 96779: Fax 808-579-8426; E-mail hr@myfs.org www.myfs.org An Equal Opportunity Employer UP TO $1750 WEEKLY

MUSIC & ARTS

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

667- 6155

HEY MAUI...

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

Get Out Of Your Head And Into Your Body

MEISNER ACTING TECHNIQUE 8-Week Class Beginning Tuesday, April 18th 6-9pm

Learn how to connect with your spontaneous instincts. Really learn to listen and observe, connect with others and be honest in the moment. And work with scenes from great plays.

Pre-reg discount by Apr 10th

280-0535 Andrea Giammattei has taught 15 classes and over 60 people on Maui since 2004

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

STAY HOME! Earn Extra Cash Weekly! Mailing Letters From Home!Easy Work! No Experience Required!

FREE Information Package! Call 24/hrs. 1800-242-0363 ext.4223 (AAN CAN) HOME TYPISTS NEEDED! Earn $3,500-$5,000 Weekly! Typing from Home! Guaranteed Paychecks!

No Experience Needed! Positions Available Today! Register Online Now! www.Type4Cash.com (AAN CAN)

HOME REFUND JOBS! Earn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly Movie Extras, Actors, Models!

Processing Company Refunds Online! Make $100-$300/day. No Exp. Req., Guaranteed Paychecks! No Experience FT/PT All looks needed!

1-800Needed! Positions Available Today! 799-6215 (AAN CAN) Register Online Now! HIRING FOR 2006 www.PaidRefundJobs.com (AAN CAN) AVG POSTAL EMPLOYEE EARNS AS SEEN ON T.V. $57,000/YEAR. Min. Starting Pay Advances for insurance, lawsuit settlements, annuity payments and lot- $18.00/hr. Benefits/Paid Training tery/casino winnings. Call Prosperity &Vacations. No Exp. Needed. Fee For Partners to cash in future payments. Information 1-800-584-1775 Ref # http://www.prosperitypartners.com 1- P4401. (AAN CAN) PARADISE SPICE-MAUI’S 800-815-3503. (AAN CAN) ADULT SUPERSTORE EARN $3486 WEEKLY!!

Process Rebates From Home. Earn $15.00 Is currently hiring for Sales/Cashier Per Rebate. Extremely Easy! Amazing help. Experience preferred, but will Business Opportunity! No Experience train. Immediate opening, full-time.

Required. Register Online Today! Apply in-person 249-2449 www.ProcessRebates.com (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ EARN $3,500 WEEKLY! For calendar magazine and artistic Data Entry Workers Needed Online print work. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712 Immediately! Work from Home!

Guaranteed Income! No Experience MODEL SEARCH!!

Necessary. Register Online Today! www.5people.net Call 808-5-PEOPLE www.DataEntryCash.com (AAN CAN)

CLASSIFIED

DJ & PA RENTALS ♠ PRIVATE PARTIES ♠ WEDDINGS ♠ DANCES ♠ SACRED OR SECULAR

FOR SALE

NEWLY REMODELED 1 bedroom, 1 bath unit located across from Kamaole One Beach in popular South Kihei. Tiled floors and lanai, all new appliances, cabinets and countertops deck out this condo. Resort style amenities include six tennis courts and three pools. Vacation rent or call COMMERCIAL PROPERTY 2 story income property in Kihei, cul- home. Price reduced to $389,000. de-sac, $4200 monthly income. Century 21-All Islands/wailea, Josh $749,000. Completely remodeled. Jerman R (S) Direct: (808) 283-2222 Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front Maui 808-879-8300 Fax:808-573-2003 BANK FORECLOSURES! Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. These homes must sell! For Listings Call 1-800425-1620 ext. H107. (AAN CAN)

NEWLY REMODELED 2 units, 2500 sq. ft., Pergo floors, $4200 monthly income. $749,000.

Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front Maui 808-879-8300 Fax: 808-573-2003 Yoga Retreat Camp 2.4 m. Turnkey owner. 9.4 acres, sleeps 25 people. Located in Haiku.

Shareen A. Seykota, R.B. Ocean Front Maui 808-879-8300 Fax: 808-573-2003 DESIGN/BUILD LOFTS In historic brick building. 5.000 sq ft, open spaces, high ceilings, concrete floors.

Near U of A/downtown Tucson, Arizona/ $399,000. www.tarmls.com MLS#2605634 520-615-9351. (AAN CAN)

WEST MAUI HOMES FROM 700,000 CONDOS FROM 211,000 SOUTH MAUI HOMES FROM 470,000 CONDOS FROM 240,000

Surf the Maui MLS Listings at www.barrybrownmaui.com Barry Lee Brown (R) P.O. Box 11782 Lahaina

(808) 661-1800 A portion of every commission is donated to the Surfrider Foundation of Maui

APARTMENTS FOR RENT

Kaimana’s Beach Hale At Baby BANK FORECLOSURES Beach in Lahaina Homes from $10,000! 1-3 bedroom available! HUD, Repos, REO, etc. www.kaimanasbeachhale.com These homes must sell! For listings Special this month..$125-$195 a Call 1-800-425-1834 ext. H404 day..your own private Ohana this has even continental breakfast served.

ULUPALAKUA Full kitchen with espresso machine & Established Farm, 2+ ac., Bldgs., D/W..call 667-6968 for info. $685K, Michael 249-2070

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 283-3260

A. COSTANTINO

808.757.0795 ALL KINDS OF MUSIC FOR ALL OCCASIONS

NOTICES FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV TESTING OFFERED THROUGH YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT

Bubba Gump Shrimp Company WANNA HAVE FUN? WANT MORE HOURS? See us today for your interview!!

OF HEALTH Kihei-Mondays at Keolahou Church 11am-2pm.

Wailuku-Tuesdays at Wailuku Health Center 1pm-3pm. PaiaWednesdays at Paia Community Center 12:30pm-3:00pm. Lahaina-Thursdays at Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center 9am-12pm. Results returned in 2 wks.

Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call 984-2129

NOW HIRING ALL POSITIONS

ALOHA VALUED READERS We would like to let our readers know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy to ensure that it is the correct information that advertisers want. If you see the acronym (AAN CAN) that ad is a national ad and was not submitted directly to us. If you have a question directly concerning AAN CAN, please check out aancan.org

CURBSIDE RECYCLING!

Apply in person • Aplique ahora 889 Front St., Lahaina

Maui Recycling Service If not now, when?

FREE Recycling Bins – And No Sign-up Fee! When you subscribe for 3 months of bi-weekly service – (A $25 value!)

New customers only – offer expires 4/30/06 244-0443 • www.mauirecycles.com

SHARED HOUSING, ROOMMATES ALL AREAS - ROOMMATE.COM. Browse hundreds of online listings with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the mouse! Visit: www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $49 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-986-8270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Maui Lawn Works “we do all the work . . . so you can enjoy your yard”

Jason Meyer

SERVICES MAUI RECYCLING SERVICE Picks up all your glass, plastic, aluminum, tin, mixed paper, & cardboard.

Home Pickup; a convenience for $16/mo! Bi-monthly pick up. Commercial accounts avail. Call Now! 244-0443

573-1920

SIGNLANGUAGE

MISCELLANEOUS HIGH POWER DIGITAL LIGHTING Now available for the first time on Maui. many commercial and agricultural applications.

Call Ohana Greenhouse and Garden Supply @ 283-3427 to hear about this new technology.

PREGNANT? CONSIDERING ADOPTION? Talk with caring people specializing in matching birthmothers with families nationwide.

EXPENSES PAID. Toll free 24/ 7 Abby’s One True Gift Adoptions 1-866413-6293. (AAN CAN)

CAERIEL CRESTIN

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Everyone’s had one of those stomach-churning nights where something you ate didn’t agree with you, and you spent the entire time making trips into the bathroom (or giving up and just camping out there). It’s amazing how much of that can throw you for a loop; lack of sleep and nourishment makes you feel incredibly shaky and weak the next day. So you’ve surely experienced how crappy you feel when deprived of physical rest and sustenance; why should it be any different emotionally? You need to give yourself time to recharge from exhausting ordeals, and restock the kinds of energy you can actually run on. If you don’t take that time, you’re just looking for trouble.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) Watch your step. What looks like a shallow puddle is actually a sinkhole. What you thought might simply wet your socks is liable to plunge you into murky water way over your head. It’s easy enough to avoid, if you’re willing to slow down quite a bit, and make sure that every footfall forward lands on recognizably solid ground. This might be a difficult choice to make, given the speedy clip with which you’ve been able to progress of late, but nevertheless, I suggest you make it. Your other option, naturally, is a full stop.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) Your situation is like one of those macro photographs of something in intense close-up. It’s impossible to tell what you’re looking at—a vulva? An elbow? A flower? It could be virtually anything, so it’s almost impossible to choose the correct reaction to it. Surprise? Admiration? Humor? Shock? Basically your only realistic option is to keep your cool and develop your patience. It may take a long time for things to properly unfold this week, ages before you’re able to get some real perspective. Don’t jump the gun, though, as tempting as that might be. Stay absolutely chill and hold on until you really know what you’re looking at. Then act.

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY! Call 283-3260 by 4 pm on Monday to get your ad in Maui Time Weekly!

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22)

Honolua Surf Co. is now hiring:

Every Cancer has a private fantasy of ultimate (and ultimately unrealistic) domesticity. Perhaps you wish you could come home from work to find dinner on the table and a drink at hand; you put your feet up for a massage and take the time to talk over the day with whoever’s there. As far as fantasies go, this one’s pretty tame, but somehow as difficult to manifest as more convoluted ones involving multiple people and props. Nevertheless, you deserve to at least once in a great while have your rather modest wish granted. This week might be your turn.

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LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You can’t always be Prince(ss) Valiant, rushing in to save the day. Sometimes it’s possible to gallop in on your white charger, vanquish the beast, and play hero to the innocent virgin. Sometimes it’s not. The trick is determining which is which. Unfortunately, you’ve guessed wrong enough times before, that now you’re full of selfdoubt. Is this a chance to shine, or to get trampled in the mud? Astrologically, it’s likely the former. Trust your gut, though; it’s ultimately the real gauge. However, if it seems like you’re in a position to swoop in and rescue someone in need, you almost certainly can.

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VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22)

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Every stain has a solution. Crafty launderers know all the tricks. Too bad your memories aren’t so easily expunged. I still think you could be free of that one stubborn stain of remembrance, even if you’ve tried nearly everything. Give it one more go. If all else fails, don’t throw in the towel and just accept that there’ll always be this ugly blotch holding you back. Consider, instead, the last resort when it comes to salvaging an otherwise ruined garment: dying the damn thing. Soak yourself in so many (ideally stronger and better) memories that you couldn’t possibly spare another moment for that one.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) Nearly everyone’s overdone it with booze at some point. Most of us retain deep, visceral memories so powerful that we’re reluctant to even touch the stuff that took us there ever again, whether it’s tequila, Southern Comfort or gin. However, not everything you’ve reacted badly to can be as easily avoided as a certain flavor of alcohol. Sometimes—like this week—you have to push through the retching and distaste and just bear it. I hope you find a way to do that, or you’ll be missing out on some opportunities that come along with. No need to overindulge in the stuff, like last time. But letting yourself at least pretend to enjoy a sip or two would not only be a good move on many levels, it’s also quite likely to build character.

Come Join the Fun & Excitement As We Recognize Lahainaluna’s Historic Milestone

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) When a fashion designer crafts a new outfit, s/he usually does a number of sketches and mock-ups (with more inexpensive fabric) first. These practice runs allow the dress to become more refined. Even though no one will ever use or even see these first few incarnations of the dress, they are vital steps in the process. Your confidence has gotten out of hand, this week. You think you can jump straight from the idea to the finished product, without the whole trial and error thing in between. Wrong. You think you know exactly where you’re headed, and I admire your vision. But not taking the time to make the journey there would be a mistake—because it’s that very journey that’s likely to change (and improve) your ultimate destination—and you.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Remember when you used to catch bugs or frogs and put them in jars for study, when you were a kid? I’ve yet to meet a Sag of either gender who hasn’t at least once or twice been ruled by their curiosity in this way.

Eventually, though, as you peered in at your victim, you couldn’t help identifying with them to some extent, and ultimately releasing them. I admire this about you; familiarity, for you, doesn’t breed contempt (although, occasionally you are subject to boredom) so much as affection. If you find yourself shying away from someone this week, for whatever reason, resist the urge. Move closer to them instead. Even if you’re never able to like them, you may, eventually, love them, just a little.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) One rule when you’re climbing or hiking is never put your hands or feet somewhere that you can’t see them.

You never know what’s lurking just out of sight in the shadow of a rock or beneath a clump of long grass.

Remember that this week as you venture into truly unexplored territory. There’s a lot of wild and dangerous shit out here, and it could really mess you up, if you’re not careful. I’m not too worried about you, though, my pretty Goats. If anyone has the patience and stamina to watch their step from start to finish, it’s certainly you.

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) So now that you’re getting better at discerning when to put out fires and when to let them burn, you can move on to the next thing: when to actually start them. It’s not fair for you to always be reactive, letting some of the more fiery signs do all the heavy lifting and motivating. Every once in a while it’s your turn to step up and light fires under the asses of those who sorely need your inspiration. You know who they are. By leaving them to their own devices, you’re actually letting them down. Even if it doesn’t come naturally to you, Water Bearer, please pull out those matches and get to work.

Parade Friday, April 7 at 5 pm on Front Street Alumni Call 661-5332 for info on marching with your class

David Malo Luau & Pageant Saturday, April 8

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Pisceans are champion cuddlers. Most Fish would rather have a snuggle than a screw, if they had to choose.

That’s a powerful instinct, actually, and one that’s likely to be quite helpful this week, even if it comes off as a bit oversweet or lame to some people. You see, there are those who think they know what they need—whether it’s a lay, advice or some retail therapy—but what’s actually going to do the trick is some simple, authentic, honest, downto-earth affection. And guess who’s just the person to give it to them, whether they’re ready or not? You, of course.

Call 662-4000 for Tickets ($10 ea) or www.lahainaluna.com Parade sponsor banners are still available, call Crystal Alboro at 357-2598 for more info.

LETTERS

NEWS

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MARCH 30, 2006

29

Mind Body

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30

MARCH 30, 2006

CLASSIFIED

HOLOHOLOGIRL

BY SAMANTHA CAMPOS SAM@MAUITIME.COM

Plaything of Desire

I thought I might fill you in on a couple of the things I’ve left out lately. And to do this, I consulted my little book—Bad Girls of Pulp Fiction…

THE

INSIDER

Naked On Roller Skates Swooooosh! Danni raced down the hill, zooming past confused bystanders, bending her knees and leaning into the wind and feeling the warmth of the sun on her body.

“This!” she cried out. “This is what it means to be alive!”

Oh, yeah… heh, heh… This happened a few months ago—it might’ve been September or October, maybe. Sasha and I went to Idini’s in Wailuku for last call. We weren’t really in the mood for drinking; we just wanted to wish our favorite bartender, Junior, a happy birthday.

I thought maybe we could stop and get him a card or buy him a lei or something. But Sasha had a better idea.

“How ‘bout I flash him?” she said.

I was all for it. But when we sat there, barely sipping our Jack and sodas, I sensed that Sasha was chickening out. Being the good friend that I am, I used guilt and pressure to convince her that she really had no choice in the matter. We reached a compromise. Something that would allow her to fulfill her promise, and yet would be quicker and less painful than her original idea of running naked through the bar.

She would skateboard topless down the street.

So we waited for (nearly) everyone to clear out and for Junior to close, not yet telling him of our evil plans. While she skated uphill a few hundred feet for the launching pad, I led the birthday boy outside and cued Sasha to rev her engine. It was glorious. And there were no accidents. Except for maybe whatever happened in the pants of the poor sap who lingered nearby.

Sex-A-Go-Go Janeen walked to the club and felt her heart rise up into her throat. There he was! Dick Dynamite—the lead singer! He was beautiful without a shirt on, just as she had known he would be. She began to salivate as he strummed the guitar in his lap, and then her fingers went to the buttons of her blouse, and began unbuttoning. It was as if they worked with a lust all their own!

Recently, a male musician friend of mine asked me why I bash male musicians. I apologized to him, and all my other male musician friends out there. It’s a defense mechanism, I think, due to the fact that I seem to be uncontrollably attracted to men with any musical talent.

And apparently this attraction even extends to karaoke. One time—coulda been a few weeks ago—I heard this voice of an angel through the smoke and din of a crowded bar. I looked over, and when I discovered the voice belonged to the otherwise handsome face of a man who had obviously met the fist of another man a few times, I was undeterred. All I heard was sweet, sweet music…

Don’t Push Me Around Temptress Tip: Every woman knows what she wants, but a temptress knows exactly how to get it. Be bold. Be daring. Be a little naughty. When going after your guy, modesty is never an option. Get his attention with a quick glance, but keep him guessing with a long, long stare. When he goes for the bait, reel him in like the catch that he is.

I’d seen this one guy at Borders for years. In fact, I’d been so intrigued by him I could barely look him in the eye without running. But over the years, I gradually—painfully—began making progress towards… well, I didn’t know what yet. The thought of “what” would send shivers down my spine.

I would stare at him across the tables of best-selling paperbacks. And he would inevitably catch me, smile, and I would blush and run away to shelve my head between Webster’s and Random House college dictionaries.

Eventually, I mustered up the courage to talk to him. Of course, I did this by waiting for him to get in line to pay for his stuff, then I would race to the registers, knocking over whatever co-workers were in my way so that I could—“Next in line, please?”—wait on him.

Oh, did I mention I was working at Borders? Not that it would’ve mattered, really.

Anyway—I think it was November—I finally initiated a conversation. He was lovely and warm, and although I giggled and blushed, there was no running. Then he suggested we continue talking outside. And so we did, flirtingly smiling at each other, and exchanged phone numbers. Hurray! Goal accomplished!

But then something happened. All that anticipation led to an uncomfortable void. Suddenly, I wasn’t into it anymore. My fantasy had become real. And somehow, that was so disappointing.

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NEWS

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