11.36 In The Name Of The Father, February 28, 2008, Volume 11, Issue 36, MauiTime

I FEBRUARY 28, 2008

I VOLUME 11

I ISSUE 36

I MAUITIME.COM

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2

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

CONTENTS

VOLUME 11 • ISSUE 36

16

12

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION What kid toy do you most miss playing with?

Editor: Anthony Pignataro Lego Associate Editor: Starr Begley Plastic typewriter Calendar Editor: Jessica Armstrong Dress up clothes Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Lloyd Dangle, Rob Parsons, Lindsey Riesinger, Chuck Shepherd, Cole Smithey, Ynez Tongson

24

Illustration: Guy Junker, Ron Pitts, Glenn Watson Photography: Sean M. Hower, Pietro Ortiz Art Director: Travis K. Tiffin Lego Graphic Designers: Wendy S. H. Ortiz, Ocean Lehua Zbiciak Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers Thingmaker Creepy Crawlers Advertising Executive: Cynthia Matzke Stretch Armstrong Classified Sales: Robin Williams Jacks General Manager: Jennifer Russo Boogie Board Administrative Executive: Judy Toba Lite Brite Administrative Assistant: Jennifer Brown Push-popper thing Web Design: Linear Publishing www.linearpublishing.com Webmaster: Ramone Madden Publisher: Tommy Russo Legos. Now they have robots!

MauiTime Weekly is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2007 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year. Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. Maui Time Weekly may be distributed only by MauiTime Weekly’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime Weekly is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime Weekly, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime Weekly are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime Weekly.

Maui Time Weekly 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of the MauiTime Weekly

4 MAUI COUNTY

22 FILM

People really want more secure public beach access in Letters.

Some wad in the stands gets called out at a menehune basketball game in Eh Brah! Do you like discussions of voter turnout, wave energy and pork barrel politics? Then you’ll love Rob Report this week. LC Watch asks why the Honolulu LC is taking their cue from Maui. Two of A&B’s subsidiaries are getting sued, and that means good news for the company in Maui 10. News of the Weird explores the magical world of combination taser/mp3 players. And Coconut Wireless asks if we’ll ever see the the Superferry alive again.

Cole Smithey finds the new Natalie Portman/Scarlett Johansson picture The Other Boleyn Girl is nothing to lose your head over.

12 FEATURE STORY Patricia Bragg is a world-famous nutritionist who advises celebrities, sells organic Apple Cider vinegar and Liquid Aminos and owns 553 acres of Waiehu. Anthony Pignataro tries to find out exactly who she is and what she intends to do with all that land.

16 ONO KINE GRINDS Ynez attempts to make fun of Hot Dog on a Stick, but finds a pretty cool company (which she still manages to make fun of to a certain extent). And in Take Five, Starr Begley talks up meatless sandwiches.

23 Movie Listings

24 ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Lindsey Riesinger learns how and why the guys at Archival Prints put all those cool photos and artwork on surfboards. Then Starr Begley gives you a few Girl’s Day ideas in Mind Candy.

37 BACK PAGES Sign Language tells Aries people to stay on the kiddie train.

Restless Native attempts to deal with the chaos also known as buying a house.

CLASSIFIEDS 33 Personals 34 Classified Listings

19 DA KINE CALENDAR

39 Mind, Body & Spirit

Starr Begley really wants to go to Barryfest, WAR, some DJ thing at Casanova and The Best of Ekolu CD release party. For her part, Jessica Armstrong would like to see jazz musician Hugh Masekela and Hot Tuna.

27 Grid & Calendar ON THE COVER: Design by Travis Keenan Tiffin

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With reference to a letter to the editor from [Patricia Bragg’s] attorney Brian Jenkins (Letters, Feb. 21, 2008), let’s not forget to look at this with common sense!

If the intention was to protect this land from subdivision, then why bother to apply for water rights for the individual lots at all? Seems to me that Bragg’s lawyer is admitting the very thing he denies, regardless of the validity of the water rights issue. What does is matter to preserve so called water rights on parcels that are not supposed to be separate lots ever again?

Land that touches a stream has water rights, and that cannot be taken away. Well then, this big parcel has water rights already from the stream that runs through it. But if it is divided up, the “new” lots that do not touch the stream now will not have water rights at all. So it seems to me that these so-called separate lot determinations would end up damaging the water rights to the parcels no longer touching the stream while doing nothing to protect this land from development.

According to tax records, Bragg has owned this land since 2002. If it was her intention to protect this land from development, then why did she fail to put it into a protective trust a long time ago? You can call chopping up this piece of land what you want, but it still looks liked subdivision to me.

-Iser Grimberg, via email The Editor responds: Check out this week’s cover story “In the Name of the ‘Father’” on pg. 12 for more on Bragg and her Waiehu property.

GIVE US ACCESS! (The following letters are in response to our Feb. 21, 2008 cover story “Line in the Sand”) Who can I (all surfers who care)

write a letter to, to put some pressure on the county people? If we all make an effort to phone or write a letter maybe they will see that shoreline access is extremely important to us!

-Vince Calkins, via Mauitime.com We really need to keep pressuring the county on this one, or we’ll end up like a lot of places in America where you can’t set foot on any private land, including [beaches]. Many of the people buying these places come from areas where they own everything but the water and nobody is allowed even on the beach.

Access sites are very limited because they don’t want “trespassers” on “their” beach. Believe me, they like it that way and would love nothing more than to have the same thing here.

-Jennifer Welch, via Mauitime.com Thanks for the article “Line In The Sand.” Just thought that a verse from Woody Guthrie’s “This Land Is Our Land” would be fitting: “As I went walking I saw a sign there/And on the sign it said ‘No Trespassing.’ /But on the other side it didn't say nothing,/That side was made for you and me.”

-George Chyz, via Mauitime.com

Maui Time welcomes letters commenting on our coverage, but only if they’re complimentary. If you still wish to complain about something, please have the decency to use plenty of bad punctuation and grammar—that makes it easier for us to make fun of you when we respond.

We also reserve the right to edit your letters. Send your letters to the editor via e-mail (letters@mauitime.com), regular mail (Letters to the Editor, Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793-1742) or fax (808-244-0446). All correspondence must include your full name, hometown and phone number.

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ehbrah@mauitime.com I sat near you at a menehune basketball game this weekend, but then had to listen to you yell at the referees the whole time. Are you kidding me? These are 12 to 14 year-old-kids. To top it off, you were wrong about rule on the “out-ofbounds timeout miscue.” But that didn’t stop you from yelling so loud that the referee actually looked up into the stands and stared at you. That’s when you lost whatever was left of your credibility. I was embarrassed—how could you not have been humiliated? I thought that maybe you were just an overzealous parent, but after the game I saw you leave alone. I know that you were in the stands when the players read the Code of Conduct at the beginning of the game. So what was your excuse?

BOYCOT T SEAFOOD FROM CANADA!

Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent to “Eh Brah!” c/o Maui Time Weekly, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

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5

ROBREPORT

BY ROB PARSONS ROBPARSONS@EARTHLINK.NET

Floating Ideas Wave power from ‘Down Under’ and Inouye’s power of pork If there’s one thing synonymous with Hawai‘i, it’s waves. Big, curling, powerful waves travel thousands of miles across the Pacific Ocean to stack up on Hawai‘i’s shores in a timeless ebb and flow. Surfers harness raw wave power for the pure, unfiltered rush that dates back more than 200 years to when Captain Cook witnessed the “sport of kings.” So named because it was reserved for the Ali‘i, or ruling class, Kamehameha I was just one of Hawai‘i’s rulers renowned for his wave-riding prowess.

Other sorts of waves have also washed across the ocean to Hawai‘i—waves of immigration, tourism, development, as well as exploitation and militarism. And just last week, a wave of optimism and political change swept over the islands.

Record numbers of voters showed up to be part of the Hawai‘i Democratic Party and to select a candidate in the Tuesday, Feb. 19 statewide caucus.

Across Maui and the state, long lines— and insufficient numbers of printed ballots—overwhelmed polling places.

Riding a huge wave of momentum from recent primary victories, Illinois Senator Barack Obama was the clear choice, garnering 76 percent of the vote.

Political pundits may ponder the reasons for Obama’s local success: his island roots as a Punahou graduate, inspiring oratory style, or multi-ethnic background being well accepted in Hawai‘i— itself a melting pot of ethnicities and cultures. Likely his “Obama-mentum” is attributable to all these, as well as his platform of “Change you can believe in.”

His campaign website features the banner quotation, “I’m asking you to believe.

Not just in my ability to bring change in Washington… I’m asking you to believe in yours.”

Two nights later, the Haiku Community Association welcomed residents to their community center for a presentation on wave power technology for generating electricity. With news that Australian company Oceanlinx has forged a Memorandum of Agreement with Maui Electric Company (MECO) to produce up to 2.7 megawatts from floating platforms off the Pauwela lighthouse area, a small audience showed up to ask questions and hear more. Less than 30 people attended—far less that the 800plus who showed up for the caucus two nights earlier.

Haiku residents have a colorful history of showing up to defend their turf.

Public outcry in the past limited the height of the infamous Sprint Tower and

6

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

LC Watch Honolulu Now Follows Maui Really, none of us should be surprised. It was bound to happen.

Somehow, by the grace of Providence or the gods or the alignment of the planets, the Maui County Liquor Commission is now the envy of the rest of the state.

The Feb. 26 agenda of the fivemember Honolulu Liquor Commission—which meets every week and holds sway over vastly more bars, restaurants and establishments than our beloved Maui panel— includes a new rule that will give the panel greater power when it grants new licenses. The new rule, as outlined in a Jan. 17, 2008 public notice, authorizes “the Commission to place restrictions or conditions on a license to protect the health, safety, and welfare of the public.”

Talking wave power in Haiku

challenged streetlights, power poles and private homes along the Hana Highway view corridor, as well as kept a proposed Minit Stop from impacting mom-and-pop grocery and service station businesses.

Aussie representatives weren’t in town, so questions went to two MECO executives.

President Ed Reinhardt offered a Powerpoint presentation, which described the patented technology that uses the compressed air from waves passing beneath a floating platform, similar to a blowhole’s force, to spin a turbine. Tethered from a half mile to a mile offshore, an undersea cable would bring electricity onshore, using directional drilling to pass under sensitive areas such as the reef and shoreline.

Concerns ranged from preparation of an Environmental Impact Statement (EIS—one is anticipated), to the proposed number of units (two to three), visual impacts (minimal, due to chosen location and distance from shore), lighting (to follow Coast Guard requirements) and transmission line visibility (no new or taller poles; larger cables would be installed on existing poles).

Questions included why MECO isn’t accepting more of the wind power from Kaheawa Wind and why the utility isn’t looking to produce clean, renewable energy itself, rather than just purchase it from a power producer. “We’re hear to talk about the wave energy project,” Reinhardt reminded the audience.

The Oceanlinx wave energy project could supply one to two percent of the electric needs of Maui, perhaps enough to power 2,500 homes. An earlier meeting with the Trailer Boat Club brought support, since the floating platforms would work as Fish Aggregating Devices, and because Oceanlinx

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

vowed to help improve the dilapidated boat launch facility at Maliko Gulch.

Also last Thursday evening, another power source appeared on Maui. Senator Daniel Inouye, Hawai‘i’s politically powerful senior elected official, spoke at the Maui Tropical Plantation, addressing those who were willing to pay the $100/head fee.

Though a Hillary Clinton supporter, Inouye was enthusiastic about the turnout for the Democratic caucus. While previous caucuses have never topped 5,000 voters, more than 37,000 showed up this year. The county picked up a thousand new voters, while many more registered as first-time members of the Democratic Party. see FLOATING, page 10

If this sounds familiar, don’t be surprised. And it’s no coincidence.

According to the Feb. 20 Honolulu Advertiser story “Some fear rule would give liquor panel total power,” the rule “is patterned after a Maui Liquor Control Commission rule.”

What’s more, the Advertiser paraphrased Honolulu Liquor Commission Assistant Administrator Anna Hirai as saying the current Maui Liquor Commission’s authority to place restrictions on new licensees “seems to be working.”

If you think the LC is correct to put into an establishment’s license that it can’t play live music past 10 p.m. because too many neighbors complained about having to hear jazz, then it’s working just fine.

If you think LC investigators writing up establishments for having too many people in the aisles—what most would consider to be the purview of the fire department—is fine, then the law is indeed working.

And if you think that it’s just dandy when appointed panels interpret phrases like “protect the health, safety, and welfare of the public” as widely as possible, then the Honolulu Liquor Commission’s new law will be just dandy.

Good luck, guys. You’re going to need it.

-Anthony Pignataro

The Maui 10 Who’s the county’s most powerful player?

RANK

PREVIOUS

COMPANY

1

1

Tesoro Hawai`i

2

2

Monsanto Hawai`i

3

4

Alexander & Baldwin

4

3

Maui Electric Co.

5

5

Weinberg Foundation

6

6

Maui Land & Pineapple Co.

7

7

Wailuku Water Co.

8

8

Dowling Co.

9

10

Goodfellow Brothers

10

9

Hawaiian Telcom

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Alexander & Baldwin rises this week on news that the stevedore company McCabe, Hamilton & Renny (MHR) is suing A&B’s subsidiaries Matson Navigation Co. and Matson Terminals Inc. for allegedly trying to monopolize the state’s longshoremen. MHR’s filing, according to the Feb. 23 Honolulu Advertiser, alleges that Matson’s hiring practices would put MHR out of business. What’s more, MHR alleges that Matson used “confidential information or trade secrets” to lure workers away from MHR. Even if the suit is groundless—Matson officials deny trying to monopolize anything or anyone—it’s still complete affirmation of the company’s power. MHR isn’t suing Young Brothers or Horizon—they’re suing Matson, and that speaks volumes about how the competition sees A&B’s subsidiary.

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Five of the 10 best-selling novels in Japan in 2007 were originally composed, and serialized, on cell phones, thumbed out by women who had never written novels, for readers who mostly had never before read one. The genre’s dominating plotlines are affairs of the heart, and its characteristics, obviously, are simplicity of plot and character and brevity of expression (lest authors’ sore thumbs and readers’ tired eyes bring down the industry). Said one successful cell phone writer, for a January dispatch in The New York Times, her audience doesn’t read works by “professional writers” because “their sentences are too difficult to understand.”

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The New Lucky Restaurant has been around since the 1950’s in Ahmadabad, India, serving diners among the gravestones located at various points around the tables. No one is certain who was buried under the restaurant, according to a December Associated Press dispatch, but Indians aren’t much spooked by the experience. Said a retired professor: “Graveyards in India are never scary places. We don’t have a nice literature of horror stories, so we don’t have much fear of ghosts.” The restaurant’s main concern is that waiters know the floor plan and don’t trip over the ankle-high monuments.

HOLY BEER! It’s the “holy grail” of beers, said a Boston pub manager, but, still, only 60,000 cases a year of Westvleteren are brewed because the Belgian Trappist monks with the centuriesold recipe refuse to expand their business (or even get on the phone to harass black-marketers).

Westvleteren is sold only at the

BY CHUCK SHEPHERD CHUCK@MAUITIME.COM

monastery gate, by appointment, with a two-case-a-month limit, at a price that’s reasonable for retail beer, but anyone who gets it from a re-seller will pay 10 times that much. Producing more, said Brother Joris, to a Wall Street Journal reporter in November, “would interfere with our job of being a monk.”

Furthermore, said Brother Joris, referencing the Bible, “[I]f you can’t have it, possibly you do not really need it.”

LIFE’S NECESSITIES In January, Taser International introduced the Taser MPH, a combination dart-firing weapon and MP3 player that holds 150 songs.

LATEST APE-HUMAN NEWS The 4th Texas Court of Appeals in January affirmed a lower court decision that monkeys and chimpanzees have no legal right to file lawsuits against an animal preserve for mistreatment. In Apeldoorn, Netherlands, however, one prominent member of the family is full of human nature: Sibu, an orangutan at the Apenheul Primate Park, has so far rejected all overtures to mate with other orangutans and instead appears smitten with blond female zookeepers, especially those with tattoos, according to an October Reuters dispatch.

THIS WEEK IN GOONDAS It was not only banks in the U.S. that freely loaned money over the last few years, but also those in India, and not surprisingly, many of their debtors have recently run into trouble making payments. Indian banks, inexperienced at collecting from so many defaulting consumers, often prefer to hire “goondas” (thugs) to settle debts the old-fashioned way, according to a January Wall Street Journal report. Though iron-bar beatings are frowned upon, some bankers say it’s their only recourse because of the numbingly slow pace of the Indian legal system. MTW

OVERHEARD...

Maui’s Online TV Station 8

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

“Are we going to get a scale? Or is that not one of our priorities?”

-Woman talking to man in the bathroom aisle of K-Mart, Feb. 23

MAUICOUNTY

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO ANTHONY@MAUITIME.COM

less, she has not hit any whales.

COCONUT WIRELESS THE WEEK IN REVIEW

THURSDAY, Feb. 21 Woo hoo, we have a new metaphor!

If we can build a missile that can blow apart an SUV-sized satellite that’s 130 miles up in space, how come we can’t properly fund our failing public schools, get everyone in the nation medical insurance, fix our crumbling bridges and feed and clothe our homeless people?

FRIDAY, Feb.22

WEDNESDAY, Feb. 20 Will Hawai`i Superferry ever sail again? And no, I’m not joking: there have been so many delays, disappointments and disasters with this boat—funded by $140 million in federal taxpayer-backed loan guarantees—that this is now a legitimate inquiry. First Hawai`i Superferry, Inc. officials said the Alakai had minor rudder damage that was fixed over the course of a few days. Then they yanked the boat out of service and said she’d be drydocked for three weeks until early March. Now, today, company officials sent out a release saying the very act of drydocking the Alakai had so damaged her hull that they’d need another three weeks of repair, delaying her resumption until at least March 25. Oh, and that little rudder problem that started all this? HSF officials say it’s a “design flaw.” Outstanding. Just to remind everyone: the Alakai is not yet a year old. She has never voyaged anywhere near capacity, has been unable to sail in anything resembling high seas, has essentially been barred from entering Kauai’s Nawiliwili Harbor by massive citizen outrage and is not even being used by the Maui Land & Pineapple Company, which invested $1 million in the thing. This is what required an emergency legislative session and a special rewrite of our state’s environmental laws? Okay, I’m being unfair. The Superferry hasn’t hit any whales.

It’s hard to do when you’re hoisted in the air in a drydock, but nonethe-

And now, back to our gentle friends in the sea (assuming they are still our friends, which given the following, may no longer be true): Earthjustice in Honolulu just emailed me a copy of a Los Angeles Times story published today on the mysterious death of a rare right whale dolphin near the U.S. Navy-controlled San Nicolas Island, which is just off the coast of Southern California. It’s hard to say without further testing—which could take months or even a year—but it’s entirely possible the dolphin died from exposure to sonar exercises. Usually sonar kills dozens of dolphins or whales (since they travel in pods) so it’s entirely possible this lone dolphin died from something else. Still, it has Earthjustice in a tizzy.

“The Navy has scheduled sonar exercises in Hawai‘i’s waters in the latter part of March—the peak of humpback calving season,” Earthjustice’s Paul H. Achitoff wrote in the email.

“Earthjustice, on behalf of Ocean Mammal Institute, Animal Welfare Institute, Center for Biological Diversity, KAHEA [The HawaiianEnvironmental Alliance], and Surfrider Foundation has asked Judge [David] Ezra to issue an injunction requiring the Navy to use more effective mitigation measures during the upcoming exercises. Judge Ezra is expected to issue a ruling shortly.”

SATURDAY, Feb. 23 It’s looking like a nautical-themed Coconut this week. Which really fits, because today I found myself admiring the lime green frigate HMCS Ottawa, currently docked in Kahului Harbor. I must say that the Canadians build some really pretty warships, even if they do have the potential to kill dolphins and whales with their sonar.

SUNDAY, Feb. 24 This isn’t exactly sea-related, but screw it: Republicans are starting to criticize Democratic presidential hopeful Barack Obama as being insufficiently patriotic because he doesn’t wear that beloved piece of flair known as the little American flag lapel pin. Seriously, this kind of bullshit is dangerous. President

Will she ever sail again?

George W. Bush has sent nearly 4,000 U.S. soldiers, marines, sailors and airmen to their deaths in the unwinable War in Iraq, but he’s a God-fearing, nation-loving patriot because he adorns his coat with the Stars and Stripes. See, in the interest of electing Republican Senator John McCain president, it’s necessary for Republicans to paint Obama as some kind of leftist radical.

Today on National Public Radio’s All Things Considered Indiana Governor Mitch Daniels even called him “the most doctrinaire left-wing candidate probably ever offered to the American people.” Obama is more leftist than George McGovern, Eugene McCarthy, Ralph Nader and Eugene V. Debs—the latter of which was an avowed Socialist?

Incredible—Obama cashes checks from the very same Wall Street banks and financial houses that contribute so handsomely to McCain. It’s times like this that I think back to that great, sober expose of American hypocrisy known as Office Space, and the scene where the Ron Livingston character tells the Jennifer Aniston character, “You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.”

didn’t know the turtle was missing, or had even been there in the first place, forgive yourself: it’s hard to tell these things because the boardwalk is still, despite being finished a year ago, is still not open. And judging by the complete lack of work on the new “parking lot” that is supposedly the reason for keeping the boardwalk closed, it’s not likely to be open for many more months. So why was the giant bronze turtle installed in the first place? Hell, you might as well ask why the boardwalk was built—the answers to such questions apparently lie in the realm of the unknowable.

Anthony Pignataro is a twit. See for yourself at http://twitter.com/apignataro. MTW

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The Honolulu Advertiser reports today that Colin Veitch, president and chief executive officer of NCL Corp., is “optimistic” about the future of the Pride of America, which in May will become the company’s only Americanflagged cruise ship left in Hawaiian waters. His reason is apparently that the ship has already been through hellish problems—being born of grotesque corporate welfare, bankruptcy and even accidentally sinking while still under construction—and things can’t really get any worse. Veitch may be nuts, but with that history it sounds to me like Pride of America is the bestnamed ship around.

TUESDAY, Feb. 26 Now here’s something you don’t read about every day: person or persons unknown have made off with the 140pound, nearly life-size bronze sea turtle sculpture that had been on display at the Kealia Coastal Boardwalk. If you

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9

ROBREPORT FLOATING: continued from page 6

ceived as a blessing and a curse by others.

Citizens Against Public Waste, “America’s #1 taxpayer watchdog,” regularly compiles a list of pork-barrel projects in the federal budget, and the elected officials who procure them. Inouye has, for many years, landed Hawai‘i in second place on that list, right behind Alaska. It’s no surprise that Inouye’s closest colleague is Senator Ted Stevens (R, Alaska). Both men, 83 years old, are longtenured veterans of bringing home the bacon.

Inouye’s influence has brought a wide variety of projects and funding to the islands, including the “Star Wars” installations atop Haleakala and in the Maui Research & Technology Park, legislation to allow Norwegian Cruise Lines exclusive provisions to operate under U.S.-flagged status, funding for the Kihei-Upcountry Highway and H-3 funding on Oahu—the most expensive permile Interstate Highway project ever.

Inouye, in public service and elected office since Hawai‘i achieved statehood, nostalgically spoke of the John Burnsled Democratic revolution back in the 1950’s, recalling when he waited in line one and a half hours to vote.

A member of the U.S. Senate delegation since 1963, Inouye has risen to powerful positions, chairing the Commerce, Science and Transportation Committee, as well as the Senate Appropriations Subcommittee on Defense. The latter position means he oversees some $400 billion annually in defense spending.

Inouye also has acquired a reputation for being extremely effective at procuring funding for his home state. His success at utilizing “earmarks,” or district-specific additions to the federal budget, is per-

Thursday night in Waikapu, Inouye dropped a bit of a bombshell, announcing that he would seek a massive earmark for funding an alternative route for realigning the Honoapi‘ilani Highway between Lahaina and Central Maui. Seeking inclusion in the 2009 federal budget, he hopes to accomplish what has been discussed for the past 30 years, with minimal progress, while continuing development has continued to result in traffic snarls.

He also defended his role in budget earmarks, which all three leading presidential candidates may wish to reform.

“Whether they want to criticize me or not,” Inouye told the crowd, “I’m the biggest bag man in Washington.”

The Inouye-Stevens alliance has been a big part of the push to open Alaska’s Arctic National Wildlife Refuge to petroleum and

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natural gas drilling. Stevens, a conservative Republican, has found minimal support among Senate Democrats, though Inouye and fellow Hawai‘i Senator Daniel Akaka have been among those voting for the measure.

Recently, Inouye and Stevens have drafted legislation to open federal waters, between three and 12 miles from U.S. shores, for open-ocean fish pen aquaculture operations.

While it’s clear that marine aquaculture is here to stay, it’s uncertain if this idea floated by the octogenarian senators passes any sort of environmental muster.

In a recent article of Science & Technology, Rosamond Naylor of the Stanford University Center for Environmental Science and Policy shared a myriad of concerns. “Expanding aquaculture into federal waters should not be permitted without enforceable national guidelines for the protection of marine ecosystems and fisheries,” she said.

Among a long list of concerns are biological, nutrient and chemical pollution, use of GMO fish or GMO fish food, susceptibility to disease among captive stock, need for substantive liability criteria, the need for royalty payments to compensate society for the privatization of public waters and the lack of guarantee that there would be local economic benefit (foreign investors have shown great interest in fish farming operations worldwide).

Moreover, Kona Blue, Hawai‘i’s current top aquaculture producer, exports the majority of its product—“Kona Kampachi” or amberjack—to sushi markets in Japan and the West Coast. Recently it moved its headquarters to San Francisco, “to be closer to its customer base and have better access to potential investors,” according to a Pacific Business News article last month.

Food and Water Watch, a Washington D.C.-based advocacy group, reports that 71 percent of U.S. aquaculture production is exported. Essentially, we’re sending our fish abroad, where it fetches a higher price, then serving our own people imported fish, which is often of a lesser quality.

Paddling into big surf without proper knowledge and experience can be a lifeendangering experience. Experienced surfers know to sit onshore and watch waves carefully before paddling out into the lineup.

Simlarly, we are well advised to proceed with caution as we seek to solve the complex issues of food and energy production.

Anything worth doing is worth doing well, and often haste makes waste.

As Maui seeks to establish an innovative wave technology, careful review of the impacts through an EIS will be essential.

Fortunately, Oceanlinx is very proactive at engaging the public in participation.

Likewise, our legislators should not approve open-ocean fish pens without adequate safeguards protecting our environment and local fisheries. In Hawai‘i, that’s what we call being pono: doing what’s right. MTW

It’s almost

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FEBRUARY 28, 2008

11

T

he first time I met Patricia Bragg, she set about rearranging my office furniture the moment she walked in. First she attempted to slide my in-boxes and computer off to the side of my desk. Then, after glancing around the small room and apparently concluding that the furniture arrangement was totally unsuitable to her needs, she asked if she could grab a chair from the hall. I said yes, and she planted it directly in front of my desk.

The reason for her visit, which took place just a few weeks ago on the afternoon of Feb. 15, was to quarrel over a fact we’d reported three months earlier. In his Nov. 22, 2007 column, Rob Parsons–a former county environmental coordinator well-versed in land use issues–revealed that Bragg, a longtime health guru and friend to numerous celebrities, had recently asked the county to identify each and every historic parcel on the 553 acres of farmland and 40,000 macadamia nut trees she owns in Waiehu. Such a move, which is a matter of public record, is generally done as a first step toward subdivision.

“That article was all wrong,” she told me over the phone the night before her visit. “It was very, very erroneous. My whole life I’ve led a life of service. The only reason I bought that land was to save the trees. My farmers are very happy. I really resent that article, and I want you to interview me.”

I readily agreed to an interview, having no idea that my decision would expose me to such an unusual world. It is the world of Patricia Bragg, self-proclaimed “Health Crusader.”

“Trends come and go, but her vinegar is

12

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

what I’d call a natural foods store staple,” Donny McGean, owner of Hawaiian Moons in Kihei, told me. “You really couldn’t call yourself a store without it.”

Well known in the health food industry, Bragg has recently been the subject of profiles in New Zealand’s Sunday Star Times, the locally published Vision Magazine and the trade publication Natural Foods Merchandiser.

Short, but full of energy, during our first interview Bragg stuck her chest at me to show how proud she was for apparently never having worn a bra in her life (other reporters have described similar actions).

She portrays herself as a simple nutritionist,

head of the nearly century-old Bragg Live Food Products–maker of fine Liquid Aminos and Organic Apple Cider Vinegar–out to teach the world how to eat healthy and live long, happy lives.

Yet one of her oldest friends has described her as a “mystery,” and there’s considerable truth in that. Bragg is a complex personality, capable of both selfless generosity and relentless self-promotion. She constantly invokes the name of her “father,” the late nutritionist Paul Bragg, yet clams up when talk turns to her actual biological parents.

She’ll drop the names of her friends at the drop of her bright pink hat–Tom Selleck, Clint Eastwood, Jack LaLane–but insists

John Evangelista, one of the farmers who work on Bragg’s property

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

she’s not a “Hollywood celebrity.” Her Bragg Health Foundation donates money to a surprising spectrum of charities: groups opposed to genetically modified foods on one hand, fundamentalist Christian ministries on the other.

Bragg is capable of passionate statements, especially concerning her intentions concerning her Waiehu property. Her statements are indeed comforting, but they also differ from the public record.

P

atricia Bragg has strong ties to Maui. In addition to numerous friends, she also owns a considerable chunk of territory. In 2002, Bragg bought 553 acres of Waiehu from Wailuku Agribusiness. She paid $1.1 million for it, according to court records.

And last year, she asked county officials to identify all historic parcels on her property.

According to Bragg and Brian Jenkins, her Wailuku-based attorney, she asked the County of Maui to recognize her 25 individual parcels not as a prelude to subdivision, but to protect her water rights.

“There is a possibility that agricultural water rights may be lost or compromised if the twenty five historic lots of record lost their historic separate identity and became legally consolidated into one lot,” Jenkins wrote in a Feb. 15, 2008 letter to Maui Time, which we published in our Feb. 21, 2008 issue.

Indeed, Bragg vigorously denied ever even considering subdividing the Waiehu property.

“I never had any intention of subdividing the land,” Bragg told me during her Feb. 15

face-to-face interview, denying numerous times that she now or ever intended to subdivide. “I bought that land sight-unseen in eight minutes. We have 12 Filipino farmers who are so wonderful. The farmers are very happy. They were worried to death when the property was sold [in 2002].”

Some of Bragg’s friends and associates even weighed in, saying subdivision was not her plan. “Subdivide? I don’t think she had that in mind,” Bill Galt, the founder of Good Earth Restaurants and a longtime friend of Patricia, told me. “Her whole thing was to preserve.”

In his Feb. 15 letter to Maui Time, attorney Brian Jenkins wrote that “As part of Ms. Bragg’s purchase of these lands, there was an agreement to create a ten (10) acre organic farm in the middle of a much larger parcel and an agreement to create another 10 acre parcel for agricultural purposes in the Kou portion of the land.” What’s more, Jenkins wrote that Bragg “never” intended to “create any more ‘new’ parcels” than those two cited above.

In fact, in court records filed in 2004 concerning her purchase of the Waiehu property Bragg said the reason she couldn’t create at least one of the parcels cited above was that she hadn’t yet “subdivided” the property . On June 27, 2002, the court records show that Bragg entered into an agreement with a local couple, Valerie Deva and Don Harris, in which Bragg would loan the couple the $1.1 million to buy the Waiehu land. To pay off the loan, the agreement allowed the couple to transfer the property to Bragg.

But the agreement also said the couple could turn around and buy a 10-acre parcel of the property from Bragg for $20,000 ($2,000 an acre). They decided to do that, but apparently the sale never took place.

Beacuse of this, in 2004 Deva and Harris took Bragg to court. Bragg’s declaration in that case, dated Sept. 24, 2004, explains why she never sold the 10-acre parcel to the couple.

“It is my intent to fulfill the Agreement with the Plaintiffs and sell them the 10 acre parcel

described by the Agreement as soon as the property has been subdivided,” Bragg said in the declaration. “I understand that I cannot transfer a portion of the a piece of property unless it has been legally subdivided.”

Bragg added that she hadn’t yet been able to subdivide because Hawaiian activists had challenged her title. “Until such time as this issue is resolved,” Bragg continued, “I will be unable to proceed with subdivision and unable to transfer title to Plaintiffs pursuant to their Option to Purchase.”

The case dragged on two more years, eventually ending up in arbitration. In May 2006, arbitrator G. Richard Morry ruled largely in favor of Deva and Harris—they got most, but not all of what they wanted—but no land transfer has yet taken place.

P

atricia Bragg often drops the the name Paul C. Bragg, a famous California nutritionist and lecturer from the early and mid20th century. There’s a picture of the two prominently placed on her company’s website (www.bragg.com). His name also appears on every product and book put out by Bragg Live Food Products.

She must have used the words “my dad” in reference to the late nutritionist and 1920’s Los Angeles Times health food columnist Paul Bragg at least a dozen times during the course of our Feb. 15 interview. But he was not her biological father.

According to her California birth certificate, she was born Patricia Pendleton at Oakland’s Peralta Hospital. Her birth took place at 1:57 a.m. on April 29, 1929, and her biological parents were Harry C. and Nettie Pendleton.

Harry Pendleton’s 1961 obituary noted that he was a well-known San Francisco land developer and former Little Rock newspaper reporter who was “the first to send a telegram to the rest of the United States after the earthquake of 1906.” Nettie’s obit listed her as a “fourth-generation Californian.”

Patricia’s use of the Bragg name comes

Tractors on Evangelista’s farm

One of Bragg’s mac nut trees

from her marriage to Robert E. Bragg, a chiropractor and son of Paul Bragg. That makes Paul Bragg Patricia’s father-in-law.

Maui Time could find no record of when that marriage took place. But their 1956 divorce proceedings were apparently such big news that the Los Angeles Times covered it. On Jan. 17, 1956, the Times even quoted Patricia as saying that she and Paul were very close.

“He treats me just like his very own daughter and I’m so thankful,” she said in the Times story, which included a photo of a smiling Patricia and Paul shaking hands with a not-really smiling Robert in the courtroom. “And I treat him like my very own father. I feel very obligated to him.”

It’s unknown what Harry Pendleton, who was still alive in 1956, thought of those words.

Already familiar with the Times’ coverage when Patricia visited my office, I asked her if, in fact, Paul was actually her father-inlaw. “Yes,” she said, “but he adopted me.”

“He adopted you?” I asked, remembering that Patricia was 26 at the time of her divorce from Robert Bragg. “He legally adopted you?”

“Yes,” she said. “He legally adopted me.”

While certainly possible—adult adoptions are legal in California—Maui Time could find no public record of it having taken place. When I asked Patricia when the adoption occurred, she said simply, “Years and years ago. My private life is my private life.”

This became a nearly constant refrain. “You don’t need to go into that,” she’d lecture me whenever I asked about her biological parents.

“I’m not a Hollywood celebrity.”

Later, she finally agreed to speak briefly about them.

“I had a wonderful mother,” Patricia said.

“I was very blessed. Both my dads got along—they were like brothers. I’ve been very blessed.”

Patricia added that Paul Bragg “was like a

father to me from the day I was born. He stayed in our house many times. It was programmed for me to marry his son. But it just didn’t work out.”

B

ragg.com lists many, many accomplishments for Patricia Bragg, but one in particular stands out: that she’s “the youngest woman ever to be granted a U.S. Patent.”

We couldn’t confirm that, but Bragg is indeed an inventor.

On Oct. 29, 1957, the U.S. Patent office approved invention Number 2,811,156. It’s for a “Douche or Enema Device” that can be “arranged or mounted between a water supply source and an injection discharge nozzle.”

“It was really fascinating,” Bragg told me of the events surrounding her patent approval.

“We went to Washington, D.C. The head of the Patent Office gave us a personal tour.”

The name on the patent is Patricia Pendleton Bragg, though it appears she stopped using her maiden name not long after that, becoming just Patricia Bragg.

That people might think Patricia was actually Paul Bragg’s biological daughter didn’t seem to bother her—“There’s no reason they’d be confused,” she told me. In fact, there’s some evidence that Patricia doesn’t mind it when people believe that Paul Bragg was her biological father.

Near the end of our Feb. 15 interview, Patricia gave me a brochure titled “Patricia Bragg, born to carry on her father’s health crusade.” It was labeled a “reprint” of a long article from Natural Foods Merchandiser, a health foods industry trade publication. I put the word “reprint” in quotes because the brochure Bragg handed me is very different from the story as published by NFM. Originally titled “Patricia Bragg: born to do her father’s work,” the NFM story was written by a Colorado freelance writer and editor named Vicky Uhland, whose name appears nowhere on the Bragg brochure.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

13

Uhland’s story contained numerous details and quotes not found in the brochure Patricia Bragg handed me.

For example, Uhland’s story contains the following sentences: “Paul C. Bragg was born in 1880, 1881 or 1895, depending on who you believe. Some Internet sites have posted a Social Security death index entry for a Paul Bragg of Desert Hot Springs, Calif., (where Paul C. Bragg lived) who was born in February 1895 and died in December 1976.”

Those sentences are nowhere to be found in Bragg’s brochure, which also appears on the Bragg company website. At one point in her story, Uhland quotes Paul Wenner as saying, “Patricia’s a wonderful mystery, like a little medicinal butterfly going from flower to flower.” But in Bragg’s brochure, the quote is very different: “Patricia’s a gifted crusader, like a little medicinal butterfly going from flower to flower.”

Reached by phone, Uhland said she was aware that Bragg’s reprint was very different from her version.

“The article on the [NFM] website has been changed from what I wrote,” Uhland told me.

“I later found out that she’s not his daughter.”

Uhland was referring to the following characterization she made early in her story: “Not only was Paul Bragg responsible for his daughter’s physical existence, he also shaped her emotional, spiritual and mental character.”

Bragg apparently had no problem with that obviously incorrect statement, because it appears word-for-word in her reprint.

O

n Nov. 5, 2000, Reverend Robert Schuller of the Crystal Cathedral in Garden Grove, California rose to his pulpit during his weekly televised “Hour of Power” show and spoke about good health.

“Jack LaLane credits his life today to Paul Bragg,” Schuller told his congregation. “[Paul Bragg] taught him what to eat and

how to think… Well, Paul Bragg lived to his 90’s and then he died because of an accident, not because of his health. He was body surfing at the age of 90. That was Paul Bragg! I interviewed his daughter, Patricia Bragg, one morning and she said that, ‘You are what you eat, drink, think, say and do.’”

Schuller was, in all likelihood, repeating a myth. According to a lengthy essay by a researcher named Wade Frazier (you can find it at www.ahealedplanet.net, which also contains a lot of info on UFOs, free energy and the like), Paul C. Bragg wasn’t apparently honest with people about his age.

According to the label of every bottle of Bragg Apple Cider Vinegar or Bragg Liquid Aminos (called “hippie’s shoyu” by fans), Bragg Live Food products have been “Serving Health to America since 1912.” According to the Hoovers online database of corporations, the company—headquartered in Santa Barbara, California—did about $3.1 million in sales in 2007 and employs just 25 people.

Except for Bragg, company officials refused to comment for this story. When I called the Bragg office and asked to speak with the Chief Financial Officer, the operator placed me on hold. After a few moments,

pany. I explained that I wanted to know more about the financial side of the business, such as how much her company did in sales last year.

“We’re not about that!” she said, refusing to say anything more about the company.

Bragg Live Food Products is actually a small company in the health foods industry.

Eden Foods, a Clinton, Missouri company that sells a variety of teas, juices, condiments, oils and snacks, did $35.4 million in sales during 2007, according to Hoovers.

Newman’s Own—the Westport, Connecticut health foods company started by Paul Newman—is a comparable giant: $120 million in sales last year.

Still, local health foods fans and retailers swear by the Bragg name. “I opened my store 14 years ago and said, ‘What’s this stuff?’” Hawaiian Moons’ Donny McGean told me of Bragg’s Apple Cider Vinegar. “It’s one of our better selling items. Bragg’s Aminos are also one of our top sellers.

[Bragg] is what I’d call one of the leaders in the natural foods industry.”

H Bee hives, which Kurtz uses to assist pollination Using Social Security applications, census records and draft cards, Frazier makes a compelling case that Paul Bragg was born in 1895—not 1881, as he told many friends and followers. That means his 1976 death came at the age of 81, not 95. The 14-year distinction would ordinarily be irrelevant, except that Bragg made money telling people they could live healthier, longer lives by reading his books and following his dietary guidelines.

she came back on the line and apologized, saying the CFO wasn’t available, and she’d connect me to someone in “marketing.” A few moments later the operator was back on the line, apologizing again, and saying that Dr. John Westerdahl, who’s listed on the Bragg website as a Bragg Foundation director, would call me back.

He never did, but later that night Patricia called me, asking why I was calling her com-

oover’s lists Patricia Bragg as her company’s president. Federal tax records obtained by Maui Time also list her as president of Bragg Health Crusades, the non-profit foundation also based in Santa Barbara.

“The Bragg Health Foundation is a living legacy dedicated to my father’s life work of promoting health and wellness worldwide,” states the main page of the foundation website (www.bragghealthfoundation.org). “My father, Paul C. Bragg, N.D., Ph.D. dedicated his life to spreading the gospel of good health, happiness and love everywhere he went on his world travels.”

It is undeniable that the Bragg Foundation contributes money to worthy causes.

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

of Kula told me. Arnoult, wheelchair-bound since a 1991 automobile accident, is currently ranked 13th in the world of wheelchairbound tennis players.

“I met Patricia at a chiropractor’s office Upcountry,” Arnoult said. “She gives me financial support, sends me some of her products and books, and tries to keep me healthy.”

Bill Galt, who founded the Good Earth Restaurant chain in 1976, credits a Paul Bragg lecture with transforming his life from “the junk food junkie of the world” to being a healthy eater.

“Patricia has funded cancer research,” Galt said. “She’s given to Peace Leaders International, which does conflict resolution. I live in lower Baja most of the time, doing non-profit work now in animal rights.

She’s helped us kick off a new movement in Baja. She walks her talk—she really does.”

The foundation’s 2004 and 2005 tax records—the only ones I could obtain by press-time—do indeed show a variety of contributions to these and other charities.

In 2004, the records show the foundation donated $500 to the Santa Barbara Rescue Mission and $1,000 to the Santa Barbara Wildlife Care Network, among other organizations. A year later, the foundation gave $5,000 to the Cancer Control Center in Los Angeles, $1,000 to Arnoult and $200 to the GMO Free Mendocino campaign.

But the 2004 and 2005 tax records also show that the foundation has donated various sums to fundamentalist Christian groups. This makes sense—Bragg said repeatedly that she was “blessed” by having such good “Christian” parents. Indeed, each bottle from Bragg Live Food Products carries the Christian fish symbol displaying the Bible passage 3 John 2: “Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in health, just as your soul prospers.”

But the ministries and organizations listed in the Bragg Foundation tax records are rigidly conservative and tend to align themselves all too overtly with the Republican Party:

ence that the U.S. government should “assassinate” Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez.

B

ragg’s Waiehu property is actually very beautiful. She insists that she will not subdivide it or develop it in anyway, and that will be a good thing.

On Feb. 20, Bragg’s farm manager Jonathan Kurtz took me on a tour of some of the land. I couldn’t see much of it, though—recent storms had washed out most of the roads in the mauka portion of the property, and he was going to have to get in there with a bulldozer and clear them.

The property is covered with thick, tall grasses. They seem to grow everywhere, including right down the middle of the dirt roads that criss-cross the property.

Kurtz began the tour in one of the mac nut orchards. The trees were just beginning to blossom, and old nuts still littered the ground.

Kurtz said the nuts would grow and ripen, falling off the trees sometime around June.

“I don’t think Patricia was interested in harvesting the nuts until I said something,” Kurtz told me. “But mac nut prices are way down. You can just about break even.”

Processing the nuts first requires vacuuming them up off the ground. But given all the thick vegetation growing in and around the orchards Kurtz showed me, I couldn’t help but wonder how they’d get even a single bag.

Kurtz later introduced me to John and Justina Evangelista. An older couple, with deep tans and weathered hands, they’ve been farming a few acres of the property for about 15 years. They’re two of the dozen or so farmers who work 20 of Patricia Bragg’s 553 Waiehu acres.

They grow assorted fruits and vegetables—certified organic by the Hawaiian Organic Farmers Association—on the land

they lease every month from Bragg. When farm manager Jonathan Kurtz escorted me through the land, the red stems of their dryland taro were visible above the soil, and Justina was going through their banana trees, which had lost a lot of fruit during the recent storms.

As long as Bragg continues to keep her Waiehu property exactly as it is, they will have no problems.

“We’ve got a kind of family relationship here,” Justina told me. John said the lease was “no bother” and both said they were happy with things as they were.

“Well, you’ve got quite a few more years here,” Kurtz told them. “Nothing’s going to change.”

“Yeah,” Justina said as John slowly nodded.

Research assistance by Kathryn Friesen.

MTW

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ONO KINEGRINDS

BY YNEZ TONGSON YNEZ@MAUITIME.COM

Hot Dog! Hot Dog on a Stick may be employee-owned, but we can still make fun of them Hot Dog on a Stick—home of hot dogs, cherry lemonade and tall women in brightly colored outfits who (at least on the Mainland) have a tendency to sneer—recently opened in the Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center food court, in the old Paradise Café location. That was a great little café—really good soup, sandwiches and these little chocolate chip cookies. Anyway, now it’s gone, replaced by a national chain.

Hot Dog on a Stick Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center 275 West Ka‘ahumanu Ave. Kahului. $

Hot Dog on a Stick does not make corndogs.

Mere corndogs are frozen and reheated. But the cuisine offered by Hot Dog on a Stick is made to order.

Now before you think I’ve sold out to the Man, keep in mind that Hot Dog on a Stick is 100 percent Employee Stock Ownership Plan (ESOP), meaning that the company is owned by its employees. While the tacky uniforms are easy to make fun of, it’s hard to hate the business.

Hot Dog on a Stick’s menu is fairly simple: they have their hot dogs on sticks, hot dogs in buns, cheese on a stick, French fries, fried zucchini, batter-dipped fish, lemonade and frozen lemonade.

The Hot Dog on a Stick hot dogs are made of 100 percent poultry, while the hot dog in a bun hot dogs are made of 100 percent beef. The

(Top Right) Hot Dog on a Stick (Bottom Left to Right) Cheese on a Stick, Hot Dog in a Bun, Lemonade, Fries.

16

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

cheese on a stick is American cheese dipped in something called “Party Batter” (don’t ask) and then fried in soybean oil. In fact, everything is fried in soybean oil. Well, everything except the lemonade, which comes in original, cherry and lime flavors. The prices are decent too; I was able to sample everything on the menu for under $30.

Hot Dog on a Stick obviously does not cater to those on strict diets. Or even lax diets—it it’s unapologetic comfort food, greasy and unhealthy.

The hot dog on a stick just drips with oil as you eat mouthful after mouthful of its myocardial infarction deliciousness. At best, it’s a sometime-food.

June 13, the late company founder Dave Barham’s birthday, is Free Hot Dog Day. So even if you don’t like hot dogs slathered in batter and oil— they’re free. On National Lemonade Day, they donate a portion of all lemonade sales to Alex’s Lemonade Stand, a foundation that researches pediatric cancer.

Still, even with all this philanthropy, employee ownership and good corporate citizenship, I was dying to make fun of something about the food stand, which has 103 locations in 17 states.

“C’mon, you can’t like that uniform,” I asked the girl working the counter one day. The red, yellow and blue tops, blue hot pants and jockey caps were a fashion faux pas 30 years ago.

But she disagreed, saying that the uniform was the best part of the job.

Later, I found out that they made maternity uniforms and even Mormon uniforms.

Hot dogs on sticks and Mormon uniforms; what will they think of next? MTW

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LUNCH SPECIALS 11-2

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Places Offering Meatless Sandwiches During Lent VEG OUT This little vegetarian restaurant in Haiku is what dreams are made of. Seriously, I dream about their Muffaletta sandwich–a slice of tofu coated in brewers yeast, topped with fresh lettuce, tomato, onions and a to-die-for olive tepenade between the best fricking homemade bread I’ve ever tasted. I’ve been eating there pretty often for years and always order the same thing: A muffaletta with an extra focaccia roll (for the baby) and sometimes a smoothie boosted with protein. They also have good pizza, falafel and a slew of Mexican type dishes. 810 Kokomo Rd., Haiku, 575-5320.

Open M-F 10:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m.; Sa-Su 11:30 a.m.-7:30 p.m. $

GIANOTTO’S PIZZERIA Sure, it’s a very Italian pizza place oozing with yummy pepperoni and machismo.

That doesn’t mean that if you’re going meat-free you need to deprive yourself of the other good stuff they offer like the Eggplant Parmesan sandwich. Believe me, with all the breadcrumbs, cheese and tomato sauce you won’t even notice that you aren’t consuming flesh. Oh, and they have tiramisu (I’m assuming with enough liquor to make your head spin) that you might want to chance suffering hell over.

It may be worth it. 2050 Main St., Wailuku, 244-8282. Open M-Sa 11 a.m.-9 p.m; Su 11 a.m.-8 p.m. $

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RUBY’S

1913 S. Kihei Rd. Kihei • Kalama Village

Ruby’s is great for a number of reasons. The food is consistent, the ambiance kitschy and the vegetarian options are many. Of course, I think that their beef burgers blow the Boca version out of the water any day, but with all the fresh toppings and options sometimes it’s hard to tell the difference. They also have salads that are impossible for one person to eat alone.

And malts. And waitresses in cute uniforms. Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, Kahului, 248-7829. Open M-Th 7 a.m.9 p.m.; F-Su 7 a.m.-10 p.m. $

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FEBRUARY 28, 2008

CAFÉ MAMBO For the longest time this restaurant in Paia used to be Picnics. Picnics used to serve a really great Spinach Nut Burger. It was the bomb. So, I was a little disappointed when it became Mambo Café and the burger was replaced by something called “spinach nut falafel.” That is, until I tasted it. If I do say so myself, Mambo’s version of Picnic’s old favorite is even better than the original–tender falafel (mashed up garbanzo beans and such) topped with a salsa mayo and veggies between a huge chunk of chewy ciabatta bread.

30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-8021.

Open daily, 8 a.m.-9 p.m. $

Two Dimes & A Nickel

HAPPY HOUR

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Located on front street in Lahaina overlooking the Banyon Tree

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DOWN TO EARTH This place makes awesome vegetarian sandwiches. In fact, they don’t have any type of animal products in their store. That means all their breads and sandwich spreads are egg-less. But they do have a tasty alternative called Veganaise. A couple of my favorites are the cold cut sandwich and the Reuben, made with vegetarian “meats.” They also have a hot bar with a slew of animal-free choices. 305 Dairy Rd, Kahului, 877-2661. Open M-Sa 7 a.m.-9 p.m.; Su 8 a.m.-8 p.m. $ MTW

Kanikapila for Mana‘o Sunday (Mar. 2), 11 a.m.-5 p.m. at the Old Maui Zoo Amphitheater, Kahului [EVENT] Maui’s favorite little radio station, Mana`o 91.5 FM is celebrating its sixth anniversary and the memory of co-founder Barry Shannon–who passed on April 7, 2007–with BarryFest. Billed as “Maui’s Music Festival” of the year.

John–be still, my heart–Cruz will be headlining along with Hutch Hutchinson.

Cruz just put on a great show that I pretty much missed because of whining, sweating kids at Whale Fest a couple weeks ago, so I’m thrilled I’ll have another chance to experience his music. Other musical greats on the program: Willie K, Eric Gilliom, Lawa, VooDoo Suns, Marty Dread, Joe Cano, Dr. Nat and the Latin Jazz Explosion, Zenshin Daiko, Steve Grimes and Mojo Gumbo, the Mana`o Radio Orchestra, Randall Rospond and the Haiku Hillbillies and much more. BarryFest is a family event with lots of fun and food to keep the keiki happy and a silent auction for the adults. They will also auction off a guitar autographed by Pat Simmons and the Doobie Brothers, Willie Nelson, Marty Dread and Gail Swanson. Families are encouraged to bring a blanket for lounging, as this will be an all-day event. And yes, Kathy “Tita” Collins— wife of the late Barry Shannon—will emcee. Tickets: $20 adults, $10 Children under 12 and kupuna over 65. Keiki under six free. For more information www.BarryFest.org. [STARR BEGLEY]

SEND YOUR LISTINGS & PHOTOS FOR DA KINE CALENDAR TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM OR FAX (808) 244-0446 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

19

ThIS WEEK’S PICKS

by Starr Begley

All that Jazz

All’s fair in love and WAR

Thursday (Feb. 28) 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Hugh Masekela has a career spanning five decades which has evolved nearly as often as pants styles. From his beginnings as a young trumpet-playing son of a high profile political leader struggling to end racial segregation in South Africa, he picked up influences from church music, political protest songs and the streets. During his 30year self-imposed exile in the U.S. and abroad, he recorded the hit song “Grazing in the Grass” and coined a unique flugelhorn style that’s held its own in jazz, funk, rock and pop music. With mentors like Louis Armstrong, Henry Belafonte and Dizzy Gillespie looking over his shoulder, Masekela has become one of the most important names in world music by recording songs that reflect his people’s struggle and suffering.

Tickets: $35, $20, $10. 242-7469 [JESSICA ARMSTRONG]

THURSDAY

WILD WAHINE WEDNESDAY CASANOVA’S FAMOUS

LADIES NIGHT Q103 and the Big Hawaiian present

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Guest Appearance by Poet Kealoha, Music by DJ Boomshot

FRIDAY February 29th

SHOW STARTS AT 9:30PM $5 COVER CHARGE

opening for

SATURDAY March 1st

j. wails

The “Best of Ekolu” CD release party

BASSNECTAR EKOLU underground electronica breakbeat drumnbass hiphop Music Starts at 10:00pm $20 COVER

Opening by Mele Pono and Unified Souls

Music starts at 9:45pm $15 COVER

Make it a memorable evening. Dine and dance at Casanova.

For dinner reservations call 572-0220 www.casanovamaui.com

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

[MUSIC] The last time WAR came to Maui, my then-boyfriend wanted us to go. I was really stoked and envisioned a night of funky sounds, beer and postteenage-angst-filled make-out sessions in his truck after the show. None of this happened. Well, at least for me. I got dumped before the show, but I’m pretty sure that he went anyway.

Bastard. Anywho, WAR is back and this time I plan on enjoying Lonnie Jordan (keyboard, vocals), Fernando Harkless (sax), Marcos Reyes (percussion), Stuart Ziff (guitar, vocals), Sal Rodriguez (drums), Pancho Tomaselli (bass), Mitch Kashmar (vocals, blues harp) while they perform classics like “Lowrider” and “Spill the Wine” regardless of whether I have a date. Tickets: $55, $45, $35. www.mauiarts.org, 242-7469.

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20

Friday (Feb. 29) 7:30 p.m. at the Castle Theater, MACC

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Ekolu Saturday (Mar. 1) 9:45 p.m. at Casanova, Makawao

Trippers Unite!

Friday (Feb. 29) 10 p.m. at Casanova, Makawao [MUSIC] I don’t mean trippers like people who freak out about stuff. I mean trippers literally—and not necessarily in a bad way. I, for one, would consider myself a tripper and I totally hold down a day job. On the other hand, I dig groovy beats, heartvibrating bass and those weird little space ship sounds that DJ’s occasionally throw in. Lucky for me and my fellow ex-ravers, the acclaimed DJ J Wail will be opening for cultmaster (I mean, really popular San Francisco based musician, producer, DJ) Lorin Ashton (aka Bassnectar) at Casagroovies this weekend. Time to dig out the ol’ glow sticks. Tickets: $20. 572-0220 for more information or www.bassnectar.net.

DAY

[CD RELEASE] Technically, The Best of Ekolu has been out for a couple of months, but we’re on Maui time on this island. Plus, what better way to kick off this awesome album that features choice picks from Down in the Valley, Shores of Waiehu, Back to the Valley and Ekolu Music than at a saucy little Upcountry Italian restaurant? Band members Lukela Kealea, Shane “Akoni” Dellomes and Makapu Ho`opi`i will be sure to pull in the masses, so plan ahead. Plus, Unified Soul– which brings in a massive crowd of their own–will be opening. You don’t want to miss it. Tickets: $15. 572-0220 for more information.

Hot F*#@ing Tuna Sunday (Mar. 2) 7:30 p.m., Castle Theater, MACC [MUSIC] Basically, Hot Tuna is two guys who’ve been rocking out together since they feathered their hair during their high school days about 50 years ago. Jorma Kaukonen’s finger-picking guitar style and Jack Casady’s electric bass rhythms carried over when they formed their own group of talented musicians named Hot Tuna–named when a fan shouted out “Hot [expletive deleted] tuna!” in response to the line “What’s that smell like fish?” Over the years, more rock, jazz and bluegrass influences have weaved into this classic band’s repertoire and kept them hitting the road to perform great shows like this one. Tickets: $45, $40, $35. 242-7469 [JA]

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FEBRUARY 28, 2008

21

FILMCRITIQUE

BY COLE SMITHEY COLE@MAUITIME.COM

Arrested Development Philippa Gregory’s Novel Gets Shackled Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson make a handsome, if redundantly costumed, pair of 16th century English sisters in this halfhearted period drama set between King Henry VIII’s noble court and his volatile bedroom. Eric Bana is miscast as the King and an otherwise enjoyable Natalie Portman soaks the film’s third act in so many tears that a puddle forms.

The Other Boleyn Girl

★★★★★ Rated PG-13/90 min.

Adapted from Philippa Gregory’s 2002 novel, the potentially captivating story of two sisters put before a womanizing king by their powerhungry father and uncle is much less than the sum of its parts. The screenwriter just didn’t leave enough narrative meat on the bone to make this story work.

A rushed first act introduces the rural-dwelling family of Mary (Johansson) and Anne (Portman) Boleyn. The girls’ mother, Lady Elizabeth (Kristin Scott Thomas), and

father, Sir Thomas (Mark Rylance), have access to the King through Elizabeth’s brother, the Duke of Norfolk (David Morrissey), who sees opportunity written on the miscarriage of the King’s would-be male heir by his Queen, Catherine of Aragon (Ana Torrent).

Mary is the older Boleyn sister and widely considered the homelier of the two girls, however absurd the idea that Scarlett Johansson could be considered uncomely by any standard. Sir Thomas and the Duke hatch a plan to invite their notoriously lusty King for a foxhunt that will allow the headstrong Anne to make her availability as a mistress known to the King.

But the plan backfires when Anne gives Henry such fierce competition during the hunt that he takes a spill that wounds his pride as much as his backside. The filmmakers allow the scene to play off-camera, and squander a potentially meaningful opportunity to see the characters interacting in a socially charged setting.

The disastrous event causes Henry to take note of the recently married Mary for a new surrogate wife. Without fanfare, Mary and Anne are invited to take up residence in the King’s palace where Mary’s new husband William (Benedict Cumberbatch) takes a position in the King’s inner circle to distract him from the pimping out of his young wife. For a moment the film takes wing as romantic sparks fly between King Henry and Mary in a seduction scene that results in pregnancy.

But the King’s blood runs hot and cold as he orders Mary to be kept in her

Unfortunately, you won’t lose your head over this picture

room for the duration of the term. Out of anger at her sister’s perceived betrayal, Anne elopes with a lower-class boy.

Only too happy to brag about the consummation of her shortly annulled marriage, Anne is exiled to France by her father to learn some manners. Here again the screenwriter takes a misstep by not including any scenes of Anne’s time abroad that might inform her subsequent decisions that fire the story’s head-rolling third act.

From the redundant use of similarly styled dresses, it seems that costume designer Sandy Powell (The Aviator) was limited by budgetary or time constraints from creating a diverse collection of clothing. To see two characters wearing the same dress, albeit of different colors, in the same scene is an unforgivable sin, and one that indicates other production shortcuts. The Other Boleyn Girl is an arresting story that deserved a much better treatment. MTW

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MAUI TIME WEEKLY

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MOVIECAPSULES Maui Film Festival’s Candlelight Cinema THE DIVING BELL AND THE BUTTERFLY - PG13 - Art, Foreign - This movie about a famous magazine editor who survived a sever stroke that left him with “locked in” syndrome and almost no way to communicate with the world comes garnished with a bunch of awards from the Academy, the Cannes Film Festival and the Golden Globes. 112 min.

New This Week THE OTHER BOLEYN GIRL - PG13 Drama - Two ambitious sisters bring out the claws in a ruthless cat fight for King Henry’s affection. While one weasels her way into the royal bed and ends up pregnant with an illegitimate kid the other slyly works her magic in the background, intent on becoming the Queen of England. 114 min.

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Now Showing 27 DRESSES - PG - Comedy - Jane has walked down the isle more than two dozen times. No, she’s not a hussy, just a perpetual bridesmaid.

When she and her sister fall for the same guy she discovers that she’s not satisfied with sitting on the sidelines anymore. 107 min ATONEMENT - R - Drama - In this adaptation of the novel by Ian McEwan, two upper-class British sisters form the base of a love triangle with the housekeepers son. Dramatic misconceptions lead to false accusations and betrayal, jealousy and, years later, the possibility of atonement. 123 min.

BE KIND REWIND - PG13 - Comedy - Mos Def and Jack Black star in this flick about two bumbling video store workers who accidentally erase all the films on the shelves and go about remaking a few choice titles starring themselves and their friends. 101 min.

PENELOPE - PG - Comedy - Fairy tales collide in this ugly duckling story about a girl who’s cursed with a pig’s snout for a nose.

Instead of whacking the monstrosity off at a plastic surgeon’s office she learns to love her face for what it is. 101 min.

CHARLIE BARTLETT - PG13 - Comedy Notorious prankster and troublemaker Bartlett sets up an underground psychiatric clinic in the boys bathroom of his new high school and doles out crooked advice (and his own prescription meds) to a bunch of privileged but troubled rich snobs. But his lucrative bathroom confessional business is being threatened by the hot daughter of the school’s principle. 97 min

SEMI PRO - R - Comedy - As if the world hasn’t seen enough of Will Ferrell’s not-so-toned physique in his past misguided sports ventures, he’s teamed up with Woody Harrelson for more of the same, plus bad 1970s hairdos and leg warmers. Hooray. 90 min.

DEFINITELY, MAYBE - PG13 - Comedy - Will takes a trip down memory lane as he attempts to explain his impending divorce and past failed relationships to his nosey 10 year old daughter, but he changes the name around to keep his little girl guessing which woman is her mother. 120 min.

THE EYE - PG13 - Horror - Jessica Alba stars as a blind violinist who, after a double corneal transplant, regains her sight only to start seeing freaky, shadowy figures that may or may not be real. As if having a creepy surgery wasn’t horrific enough. I’m rooting for her to go totally freaking insane. 105 min.

FOOL’S GOLD - PG13 - Comedy - Matthew McConaughey and Kate Hudson team up again in this unfunny movie about a divorced couple who go on the hunt for buried treasure. At least there’s going to be plenty of topless McConaughey to watch. 90 min JUMPER - PG13 - Sci-Fi - Hayden Christensen plays a guy with some genetic quirk that allows him to teleport himself, which is great until he realizes heís now being hunted by people who donít like that for some reason. Also stars Samuel L. Jackson, who plays the kind of guy Samuel L. Jackson usually plays. 105 min. (Anthony Pignataro) JUNO - PG13 - Comedy - Juno is a teen who,

though really smart, ends up pregnant, then decides to find the perfect wealthy, suburban couple to raise her baby. Iím sure this kind of thing happens all the time. 91 min. (AP) MEET THE SPARTANS - PG13 - Comedy - The 300 warriors of Spartan are no match for the 300 idiotic guys in skirts and shields and mind-numbing but funny pop culture references that pepper this satirical comedy. 84 min.

MICHAEL CLAYTON - R - Drama - Michael Clayton is a slimy, burned-out lawyer and former criminal prosecutor who faces the challenge of a lifetime when a multi-million dollar lawsuit led by his firm is threatened by a guilt-ridden attorney. 120 min.

NO COUNTRY FOR OLD MEN - R - Thriller Tommy Lee Jones plays a tired West Texas sheriff trying to catch a brutal but odd looking killer who is chasing a guy who found a lot of money.

Directed by the Coen Brothers. 122 min. (AP) PERSEPOLIS - PG13 - Animation - A tender coming-of-age story about a young Iranian girl who’s shipped out of her country when violence hits close to home, forcing her to learn harsh life lessons about racial prejudice, her tyrannical government and the importance of family. 95 min.

RAMBO - R - Action - For twenty years Rambo’s been hiding out, river fishing and generally living peacefully in back country Thailand until a sorry group of aid workers interrupt his simple life on their way to a refugee camp at the war torn border with Burma. In all that time Rambo has not aged a bit or become any easier to understand. 133 min.

THE SPIDERWICK CHRONICLES - PG Fantasy - Jared and his siblings go on an adventure to uncover a bunch of prankster goblins, fairies and ogres that are hanging around their uncle’s old, Victorian house before they get blamed for causing the mischief themselves. 105 min.

STEP UP 2: THE STREETS - PG13 - Drama Here comes another dance movie. The moves may be different but the plot’s the same. A ridiculously hot street dancer becomes an outcast at an elite arts school until she teaches all the preppy kids that hip hop moves are cool and then they all love her. Yawn. 105 min.

THERE WILL BE BLOOD - R - Drama - The dark, haunting story of a greedy Texas oil man and his exploitation of a egotistic minister who’s sitting on an enormous oil deposit. All is well as the rich man gets richer, except for that little nuisance called a conscience that wont seem to let him sleep at night. 158 min.

VANTAGE POINT - PG13 - Action - President Ashton gets himself assassinated overseas, which is all well and good except that a huge crowd, including international media, is watching.

The puzzle pieces start to fit together as film goes through the attack from eight people’s points-of-view, including the terrorist and the President himself. 90 min WELCOME HOME ROSCOE JENKINS - PG13 - Comedy - Geeky, awkward Roscoe Jenkins had managed to transform himself into a suave LA talk show host with a hot fiance and a best selling self help book, but that doesn’t mean he’s going to get any respect from the family when he goes home to the South for a reunion. 94 min.

Wedd 3/5 5 :000 & 7:30pm

MauiFilmFestival.com m $100 w/pass

WITLESS PROTECTION - PG13 - Comedy That wizard of hilarity otherwise known as Larry the Cable Guy plays a small town sheriff (is there any other kind?) who accidentally kidnaps a beautiful woman who he thinks is a kidnap victim when in fact sheís actually a witness already being protected by the FBI. 97 min. (AP)

SHOWTIMES Maui Film Festival Castle Theater, 572-3456 The Diving Bell and the Butterfly - PG13 - W only 5, 7:30

Front Street Theater 900 Front Street, Lahaina, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-F until 6:30pm, Sa-Su until 3:30pm, Tue all day) Atonement - R - Th only 3:45, 6:30, 9:15 Fool’s Gold - PG13 - Th-F, M-W 3:30, 6:30, 9:10; Sa-Su 1, 3:30, 6:30, 9:10 Semi Pro - R - F, M-W 3:30, 7, 9:20, Sa-Su 1:15, 3:30, 7, 9:20 The Spiderwick Chronicles - PG - Th 3:30, 7, 9:20; F, M-W 3:45, 6:30, 9:15; Sa-Su 1, 3:45, 6:30, 9:15 Vantage Point - PG13 - Th-F, M-W 4, 6:45, 9, Sa-Su 1:30, 4, 6:45, 9

Ka’ahumanu 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center. 8754910 (Matinees: everyday until 4pm) 27 Dresses - PG - Th only 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05, 9:45 Definitely, Maybe - PG13 - Th 12, 2:30, 5, 7:30, 9:55, F-Su 12, 2:40, 5:25, 8:05. 10:35; M-W 12, 2:40, 5:25, 8:05 The Eye - PG13 - Th only 12:35, 3, 5:20, 7:45, 10 Jumper - PG13 - Th 12:05, 2:25, 4:50, 7:25, 9:40; F-Su 12:10, 2:15, 4:20, 6:25, 8:30. 10:35; M-W 12:10, 2:15, 4:20, 6:25, 8:30 Michael Clayton - R - F-Su 12, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45, 10:20;M-W 12, 2:35, 5:10, 7:45 No Country for Old Men - R - F-Su 12:05, 2:40, 5:25, 8:05, 10:35; M-W 12:05, 2:40, 5:25, 8:05 Persepolis - PG13 - Th only 12:30, 2:45, 5:05, 7:20, 9:35 Semi Pro - F-Su 12, 2:10, 4:15, 6:20, 8:25, 10:30; M-W 12, 2:10, 4:15, 6:20, 8:25 Vantage Point - PG13 - Th 12:15, 2:35, 4:55, 7:15, 9:30; F-Su 12:10, 2:15, 4:20, 6:25, 8:30, 10:30; M-W 12:10, 2:15, 4:20, 6:25, 8:30

Kukui Mall 1819 South Kihei Road, 875-4910 ( Matinees: everyday until 4pm) Jumper - PG13 - Th 1:45, 4:45, 7:45; F-Su 12, 2:05, 4:10, 6:15, 8:20, 10:25; M-W 12, 2:05, 4:10, 6:15, 8:20 No Country for Old Men - R - F-Su 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45, 10:15; M-W 12:15, 2:45, 5:15, 7:45 The Spiderwick Chronicles - PG - Th 1:15, 4:15, 7:15, F-Su 12, 2, 4, 6, 8, 10; M-W 12, 2, 4, 6, 8 Step Up 2: The Streets - PG13 - Th only 1:30, 4:30, 7:30 Vantage Point - PG13 - Th 1, 4:05, 7; F-Su 12:10, 2:10, 4:10, 6:10, 8:10, 10:10; M-W 12:10, 2:10, 4:10, 6:10, 8:10

Maui Mall Megaplex Maui Mall, 249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm) Be Kind Rewind - PG13 - Daily 1:45, 4:15, 7:05, 9:50.

Charlie Bartlett - PG13 - Daily 2, 4:30, 7:15, 9:45.

Fool’s Gold - PG13 - Th 1:30, 3:30, 4:30, 6:40, 7:20, 9:20, 10; F-W 1:50, 4:30, 7:20, 10.

Juno - PG13 - Th, M-W 7:10, 9:30, F-Su 1:15, 7:10, 9:30 Meet the Spartans - PG13 - Th only 1:40, 6:55 The Other Boleyn Girl - PG13 - F-W 1:30, 4:10, 6:55, 9:35 Penelope - PG - F-Su 12:45, 3:30, 6:40, 9:20; M-W 3:30, 6:40, 9:20.

Rambo - R - Th only 4, 9:15 The Spiderwick Chronicles - PG - Th, M-W 1:30, 2:20, 3:50, 4:40, 6:30, 7, 8:50, 9:20; F-Su 12, 1:30, 2:20, 3:50, 4:40, 6:30, 7, 8:50, 9:20 Step Up 2:The Streets - PG13 - Th, M-W 1:45, 2:25, 4:10, 4:50, 6:45, 7:30, 9:10, 9:55; F-Su 12, 1:45, 2:25, 4:10, 4:50, 6:45, 7:30, 9:10, 9:55 There Will Be Blood - R - Daily 3:45 Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins - PG13 Daily 1:40, 4:20, 7, 9:40 Witless Protection - PG13 - Th-Su 12:05, 2:30, 4:55, 7:20, 9:45; M-W 2:30, 4:55, 7:20, 9:45.

Wharf Cinema Center 658 Front Street, 249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day) Jumper - PG13 - Th-F, M-W 1:45, 4, 7, 9:15; SaSu 11:30, 1:45, 4, 7, 9:15 Juno - PG13 - Th-F, M-W 1:15, 3:30, 6:30, 9; SaSu 11, 1:15, 3:30, 6:30, 9 Step Up 2:The Streets - PG13 - Th-F 1:30, 3:45, 6:45, 9:10, Sa-Su 11:15, 1:30, 3:45, 6:45, 9:10

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

23

ART&ENTERTAINMENT

BY LINDSEY RIESINGER LINDSEY@MAUITIME.COM

New Wave Archival Prints gives surf an artistic twist sive photos and artwork. Then they released the boards and started a line.

“It just hit us that it was possible to get any image on a surfboard using an array of techniques and experience,” Porter said.

“The application is a process that any glasser and shaper combination can achieve.”

Timpone handcrafts the boards, Gott Glassing provides the glass and Archival Prints creates the fine art reproduction.

But one of the hardest challenges Porter and his team face is keeping the artwork non-commercial. They actually don’t want to create artwork that is made just for a sale.

They want the art behind each image created in a unique, distinguished way. Porter stresses that his company is a custom art firm representing artists and helps them get their work out.

Along with art designs, Archival Prints will be setting up an e-commerce site sometime around mid-April. The site will offer apparel, surfboard laminate, reproductions on fine art papers and an artist gallery page, along with options allowing the consumer to create his or her own custom design.

“We are very fortunate to have so many years of expertise supporting our ideas,” Porter said. “Building the business has captured the potential of essential beauty.”

Boards range from $850 to $5,000 and can include full archival prints on the bottom and/or deck. For more information regarding Archival Prints, LLC visit www.archivalprints.net or call 214-5931. MTW

Photos: Sean Michael Hower

Maui artist Chad Porter found his refuge in creating masterpieces on surfboards. Since Maui is a surf Mecca, Porter was pretty sure that his dream of designing artistic boards would come true.

Two years ago, Porter and his family established Archival Prints.

The name originated from the term “archival print,” which is a print with an ink permanence of 100 years. It will not fade, unlike airbrushing, the usual method for surfboard graphics.

These museum quality prints–when applied to the board, collage style–add more originality and quality to a board.

“What I enjoy most about this type of art is the process,” Porter said.

“There are many ideas that can be created. Watching others interpret their own definition of beauty and pain, creation, truth and justice is rewarding enough.”

Self-taught, Porter teamed up with renowned custom board designer Jeff Timpone to refine the process of applying collage and photography to an entire surfboard. No longer must surfboards be white; they can highlight the owner’s personality whether it’s sitting on racks or in the water.

“We had an idea to incorporate fine art printing techniques with high-end modern technology, computers, large format archival printing and fine art papers,” Porter said. “We wanted the surfboard to have an entire collage reproduced from an original image glassed in the surfboard.”

After Porter and Timpone broke away from the limitations of the airbrush, they were able to cover all surfaces of a surfboard with expan-

24

(Above) Assorted ‘Archival Prints’ Boards (Left) Flynn Porter & Chad Porter

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

MINDCANDY

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Girl’s Day Ideas Amigurumi Anapaulaoli.etsy.com [WEB] Traditionally on Girl’s Day, you’re supposed to give the little girl in your life a doll–usually a really expensive doll fashioned after the Japanese court–that isn’t played with… Ever!

Screw that idea. This year, I’ve decided to switch things up and create my own family tradition by giving my daughter a doll that I’ve made myself.

Lucky for me, I found Anapaulaoli.etsy.com. On this site there are tons of easy, adorable, quirky crochet patterns to choose from. They’re reasonably priced and sent to your inbox within 24 short hours of purchase. Favorite patterns include monsters, daddy and baby fish, little butterfly coming out of a strawberry and mermaids. Anapaulaoli also has a great selection of amigurumi– Japanese styled, tiny dolls that are quick and easy to make and cute as all hell. In fact, the patterns on this site are so cute that I almost feel guilty loving them all so much. It makes me feel like a girly girl to the max.

Paper Bag Princess

By Robert Munsch [BOOK] To be blunt, this is the best damn picture book out there for your rough and tough little princess. If you have a little girl in your life that prefers her rubber boots to Mommy’s Sephora purchases, you need to go out and purchase Paper Bag Princess immediately. The story is about a beautiful princess named Elizabeth who lives in a castle, has very expensive clothes and is set on marrying a prince named Ronald. Unfortunately a big and nasty dragon comes and destroys her clothes and castle and kidnaps Ronald. So Elizabeth decides to set out, find the dragon and rescue her beloved prince. What happens once she succeeds is hilarious, thought-provoking, liberating and a big fat secret. You have to read the book. You didn’t actually think I was going to spoil the end, did you?

Good Things for Kids Martha Stewart Living [MAGAZINE] You know those days where the kids are scribbling on the walls and making soap murals in the bathroom? Days like this are what this magazine is made for. One of the best things about this publication is that there are no ads in it besides those found on the cover so it seems more like a guide filled with kid friendly crafts using everyday household supplies than a stupid magazine.

In the current issue there are 58 different ideas of ways to unleash your kid’s creative energy into a cool project that doesn’t involve your sofa. Projects include stuff like funky picture frames, monster mittens, dolls fashioned after kid drawings, origami puppets and more. Totally worth the $3.95.

• Individuals • S Corporation • C Corporation • Partnerships

• Business Acquisitions • Estate & Trust • International

www.LevinHu.com 244.7770 • 270.1072 FAX • 77 Hookele St., Ste. 302, Kahului MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

25

26

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

DA KINECALENDAR

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

BIG SHOWS

Ekolu - Saturday, Mar 1. (See Picks of the Week.)

space aliens and set in the Cold War era. Tickets:

played the voices of Princess Jasmine from Aladdin

$15. 9:45 p.m., Casanova, Makawao, 572-0220.

$11, $9 for seniors, $5 for students. Fri & Sat (Feb

as well as Mulan. Tickets: $49, $39, $29. 7:30 p.m.

Hugh Masekela - Thursday, Feb 28. (See Picks of the Week.) Tickets: $35, $20, $10. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Mana`o Radio’s 2nd Annual BarryFest -

1, Mar 1, 7 & 8) 7:30 p.m., Sun (Mar 9 only) 3 p.m.

Seabury Hall, Makawao. 573-1257.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Sunday, Mar 2. Mark your calendar for this celebration of Mana`o’s anniversary and the memory of

Calling All Readers - Want to read for Maui On

Midnite have developed an authentic brand of roots

Pele Ma: Legends of Pele from Kaua`i Thursday & Friday, Feb 28 & 29. Kumu Kahua Theater presents the funny and engaging Hawaiian tales of Pele, the goddess of fire, her sisters, the goddesses of the sea and the ferns, the rambunctious pig demigod Kamapua`a and ancient Kaua`i chief Lohiau. Tickets: $20. 7:30 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

cofounder Barry Shannon. (See Picks of the Week.) 11

Stage’s Bare Essential Theater? Roles are

music and taken over the U.S. mainland reggae

a.m.-5 p.m. Old Maui Zoo Amphitheater. 876-1553.

announced at monthly readings and scripts are

scene with seven hit albums and powerful live

given out in advance. Call Kristi. 244-8680 x23.

shows. They’ve got a stripped down sound that’s

War - Friday, Feb 29. This California funk, jazz and Latin music band emerged from the ethnic melting pot of Los Angeles and rocked the nation during the 1970s, with a socio-political message of peace and brotherhood and hit songs like “Low Rider,” “Why Can’t We Be Friends” and “The Cisco Kid.” (See Picks of the Week.): $55, $45, $35. 7:30 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Bassnectar & J. Wail - Friday, Feb 29. (See Picks of the Week.) $20. 10 p.m., Casanova, Makawao, 572-0220.

Hawaiian Legacy - Saturday, Mar 1. Step back in time and Hawaiian culture with a program featuring the jazz-swing ukulele stylings of Kahauanu Lake and his late wife Kumu Hula Maiki Aiu Lake, who’s known for training the majority of kumu hula during the 1970s and 80s. Tickets: $25, $20, $15. 7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Mojomana - Saturday, Mar 1. Folk rock out with local band Mojomana. $5. 9:30 p.m., Moana Cafe, Paia, 579-9999.

STAGE VDay Celebration - Saturday, Mar 1. A special per-

TICKETS ON SALE

formance by readers from The Vagina Monologues

Joshua Redman Trio - Thu, Mar 6. A tremen-

will accompany a viewing of the film Until the

dous tenor sax artist was born when Redman

Midnite - Fri, Mar 7. Virgin Island reggae artists

been described as raw, with smooth rhythms and a steady flow of conscious lyrics by front man Vaughn Benjamin. Come soak up the roots vibrations. Tickets: $30 at the door. Hard Rock Cafe, Lahaina. 667-7400.

Violence Stops at this benefit for the Maui organiza-

turned down law school for a life of music after win-

Funny Girl - Sat, Mar 8. Margaret Cho looks total-

tion Women Helping Women on VDay, an anuual

ning the prestigious Thelonious Monk Jazz

ly punk. She’s an Asian-American from San Francisco

effort to stop violence against women. Tickets: $25.

Saxophone competition the year before he was

with an awesome floral tattoo design on her back

$10. 7 p.m. Ulalena Theater, Lahaina. 242-6600.

slated to start at Yale University. Since then he’s

and multi-colored mohaw. Well, she’s not rocking the

Vagina Monologues - Monday, Mar 3. This spe-

toured extensively, and he’s coming to Maui with

hawk right now but she’s got that radical hair in one

cial and final performance of this collection of

his album Back East in a tenor saxophone, bass

of her pictures, at least. Besides that, she’s super

empowering monologues will feature spotlight

and drums trio. Tickets: $40, $25, $10. 7:30 p.m.

funny. At the tender age of 16 she won a comedy

readings by guest performers Mayor Charmaine

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

competition and started opening up for Jerry

Tavares, chef Bev Gannon, Kathy “Tita” Collins of

Augie T - Fri, Mar 7. Two Na Hoku Hanohano

Seinfeld. Since then she’s toured extensively and

Mana’o Radio and more. The stage performance is

awards, a Hawai`i music award, three hit DVDs and

won tons of awards for her hilarious performances.

running on Maui in celebration of the 10th anniver-

his own show on channel OC16 hasn’t gone to

Her new show explores the nature of beauty and

sary of V-Day, a global movement of to end violence

Augie’s head. He’s still the funny and down to earth

what’s funny and scary about it. Tickets: $47, $37, $27.

against women, and will benefit Maui organization

guy he’s always been and this show is going to

7:30 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Women Helping Women. Tickets: $25, $15. 7:30

leave you laughing all week long. Tickets: $25. 7:30

Kenny G - Fri, Mar 14. Smooth jazz soloist and

p.m. Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

soprano sax master G has been toping music

Fellow Travelers - Friday & Saturday (Feb 29,

Lea Salonga - Fri, Mar 7. Tony Award winning

charts and dominating jazz radio for over 20 years.

Mar 1, 7, 8) and Sunday (Mar 9 only). This double-bill

vocalist and actress Salonga got her start as a child

His trademark long, luscious curls are nearly as rec-

of comedies written and directed by Todd Van

star in her native Philippines. Since then she’s held

ognizable as his emotion-packed saxophone

Amburgh explores our deep fascination with con-

a ton of different stage roles, recorded several

infused jazz music and he’s just released a new

spiracy theories and our love-hate relationship with

albums, starred in her own TV series, and, most

album of all original music called Rhythms and

paranoia, told through the medium of vampires and

importantly to my nostalgic childhood memories,

Romance that I’m totally going to get my mom for

MOOSE’S HAS A NEW MENU!

icious NEW CHOICES AT FAMOUSLY DDelELICIOUS LOW PRICES. DON’T FORGET OUR HAPPY HOUR FROM 4-7 DAILY.

WEDNESDAY MARCH 5

SOUTH MAUI’S

BIGGEST MONTHLY

844 FRONT ST., LAHAINA • 667-7758

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

PARTY

2511 S. KIHEI RD., KIHEI • 891-8600

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

27

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 891-1011

Thursday 02/28

Friday 02/29

Saturday 03/01

Sunday 03/02

Monday 03/03– Wednesday 03/05

Adam Bowen & Wolf No cover, 9pm

Estee Graham No cover, 10pm

Erin Smith Band No cover, 10pm

Sisters Grimm No cover, 9pm

MON-Blu Sol, 9pm; WED- DJ Durty, 9pm

CAFE MARC AUREL

Pau Hana Party

28 N. Market St. Wailuku - 244-0852

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

MauiSLAM, DJ Boomshot No cover, 9:30pm

Bassnectar, J. Wail $20, 10pm

Ekolu $15, 9:45pm

Temporarily

closed

due

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-9668

Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-7189

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

The Whale Shark No cover, 9pm

MON - Michael Moore; TUE - Jazz Night; WED - The Whale Shark, No cover, 9pm

Ryan Robinson Band No Cover, 10pm

Irish Sing Alongs w/Murray 10pm

Off Tomorrow, No cover, 10pm

Crunch Pups Unplugged No cover, 10pm

MON - Silky Ringo, TUE - Scott Baird; WED - Off Tomorrow, All no cover, 9pm

HARD ROCK CAFÉ

Silky Ringo No cover, 9pm

900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

Marty Dread, $10, $5 Kama aina, 10 p.m.,

HECOCKS

Sonny B No cover, 10pm

505 Front St, Lahaina - 661-8810

her birthday. Tickets: $85, $75, $65, $55. 7:30 p.m.

Castle Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Classical Music of India - Fri, Mar 14.

Experience musical tradition by two talented performers who’ve mastered the art of classical Indian instrument. Shubhendra Rao works his majic on the sitar while Ty Burhoe keeps the Eastern beat on the tabla drums. Tickets: $25. McCoy Studio Theater,

MACC, 242-7469.

Incubus - Sat, Mar 22. OK, I know it’s a little early

MauiSlam Poetry Invitational - Maui’s only poetry competition is back, this time with special guest, HawaiiSlam slam master & National Poetry Slam finalist Kealoha. where Mauiís best slam poets go head-to-head in this month invitational slam; three rounds for bragging rights & cash.

Outstanding performance poetry is guaranteed, with Jah Sun, Solow, Dreaming Bear, Pat Masumoto and Lava. Plus the groovy sounds of DJ Boomshot. $5. 9 p.m., slam starts at 10 p.m.

Casanova’s, Makawao. 268-4487.

to be saying this, but this show is probably going to

FRIDAY, FEB 29

be the biggest rock show on Maui in 2008. I haven’t lived here long, but I’ve been around long enough to realize that most big name bands only play Oahu venues if they make it to Hawaii at all. The guys from Incubus, however, are ending their world tour here on Maui and then taking some quality time to chill out and surf. In case you didn’t know, some of their popular songs are “Drive,” “Megalomaniac” and, among many others, “Wish You Were Here.”

Disturbing fact: Wikipedia tells me an incubus is an ancient demon that seeks up on women in their sleep and has sex with them. I don’t think this has anything to do with the band. Awesome opening act: Siversun Pickups. Tickets: $55, $45 in advance.

A & B Amphitheater, MACC. 242-7469.

Biofeedback - Mary Higgins, QXC/SCIO practitioner, helps you energetically rebalance after living yet another day in a toxin-filled world. Walk-ins only. Sliding scale pricing. 2-5 p.m. Dragon’s Den. 573-2424.

Stellar Rejuvenation - Experience the natural healing benefits of soliton lasers. Free. 4-6 p.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku Marketplace, Haiku, HI, 96708. 575-9390.

Learn to Contra - Lively fiddle music makes this Irish folk dance fun to learn and do. Get instruction on cues and formation from David Fullaway before next Sunday’s dance. Free . 5:30-7:30 p.m. Hannibal Tavares Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

SATURDAY, MAR 01

EVENTS THURSDAY, FEB 28 Come Out and Play - Elizabeth Ann Brandon, MA wants to make friends with your inner child using cognitive therapy, hypnosis and transactional analysis. Free. 12-3 p.m. Dragon’s Den, Makawao.

573-2424.

Project Ka`eo - Hawaiian history and culture are in the spotlight at this press conference for Project Ka`eo, an effort to preserve Makena’s ancient history in book form. The publication will be over 400 pages and will be released to schools, libraries, cultural and political organizations over the next few months. Students, historians and everyone with a interest in Makena’s past will benefit from this richly illustrated work. 1 p.m. Wailuku Public Library.

268-0303.

Kahului Lions Club - Anyone interested in being involved is encouraged to attend this dinner meeting. 6 p.m. Maui Beach Hotel. 243-7402.

30 Year Reunion Meeting - Maui High School class of 1978 committee. 6 p.m. Unisan, Wailuku.

28

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

TUE - Damian Awai

Dave Carroll No cover, 9pm

Wharf Cinema, Lahaina - 667-0908

572-8373.

fire

Unknown No cover, 9pm

COOL CAT CAFE

1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

to

Salsa $5, 10pm

COMPADRES

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB

WED - Wild Wahine Wednesday w/DJ Styles, DJ Jammin J & DJ Shaggy $10, 10pm

Benefit Rummage Sale - Shop for clothes, shoes, handbags, household and decorative items, plants and more at this sale to benefit H K Lani Holt’s Halau. 7 a.m.-12:30 p.m. Hawaiian Canoe Club Hoaloha Park, Kahului. 280-1595.

Swap Meet - I’ve always wanted to unearth some totally awesome treasure at a random flea market. This might be a good place to start.

Admission: 50 cents. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. Pu`unene Ave., Kahului. 877-3100.

Seniors Club Spring Bazaar - To benefit the Hale Mahaolu Ekolu Club. 7 a.m.-12 p.m. 717 Makaala Dr., Wailuku.

Shop Becca’s Closet - Good items for good bargains. 9 a.m.-12 p.m. King Kekauliki High School, Upcountry. 572-9637.

Hula Classes - Hula Classes - Every Sat. Halau Kawaianuhealehua holds open hula classes for children, teen and adult wahines and kanes. 9 a.m.

Maui Waena School.

MS Meeting - A monthly self-help group for people with multiple sclerosis and their families and caregivers. Free. 10 a.m. Kaiser Permanente.

800-FIGHTMS.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

WED - Local Boys, Jacob, Tony & Matteo; No cover, 10pm

Matsudai Ryu Odori Zome - Ten Japanese dancers in formal dress will perform a recital with their teacher. Free. 1 p.m. McCoy Studio Theater, MACC. 242-7469.

Drum Cirlcle - Bring your drum and beat away

Preschool Benefit - Bid on silent auction items at this benefit for the Wailuku Hongwanji Preschool.

5 p.m. Hongwanji Church Hall, Wailuku. 244-9545.

cleansing foods from the chefs at Joy’s Place, with

Return to the Source - The Tantric Circus, a collection of erotic healers and educators from the San Francisco Bay area, presents an evening of multimedia entertainment, with art, live performance, music and dancing. $25-$15. 7:30 p.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku. 575-9390.

with others in the community. Free. 4 p.m.-sunset.

Kihei. 298-9022.

Cooking Class - Learn about cooking light and an all live menu. $40 registration includes samples and recipes. 5:30 p.m. Keolahou Congregational Church, Kihei. 879-9258.

Contra Dance - If you’ve got contra skills, come show off your moves at this dance party featuring live music. Free. 5:30-7:30 p.m. Hannibal Tavares

Community Center, Pukalani. 572-0671.

Line Dancing - Practice your ìtush pushî yaíll and

Cinema Night - Cafe Mambo will be hosting an evening of classic and cult classic films for the 21 and older crowd. This week’s flick: Shallow Grave.

9:30 p.m. Cafe Mambo, 30 Baldwin Ave., Paia, HI, 96779. 579-8021.

come on down for some line dancing by the Maui

SUNDAY, MAR 02

Flower Arranging - Emi Azeka teaches temple

Girl’s Day - The Japanese Cultural Society proudly sponsors Girl’s Day, an annual festival celebrating daughters. This Japanese themed champagne brunch will feature live demonstrations and hands on activities, Japanese Odori dancers, keiki kimono photographs, taiko drum performances, Hinamatsuri ceremonial dolls and lots of delicious food. Adults: $36.95, Keiki 6-12 $20. 8:30 a.m.-1 p.m. Ka`anapali Beach Hotel. 667-0124.

Canoe Program Membership Meeting - The Hui O Wa`a Kaulua, an organization dedicated to offering youth the opportunity to learn about Polynesian voyaging canoes and Hawaiian culture, is holding it’s general membership meeting, including nominees to the board of directors and followed by a potluck lunch. 10 a.m. Pakala Park, aka Kamehameha Iki, Lahaina. 264-0784.

Tantra Temple Services - Embrace the spiritual essence of all faiths with tantra, an ancient highspiritual practice. Free. 10 a.m. 2138 Vineyard St., Wailuku. 244-4103.

Paniolo Posse. Lessons: 6:30 p.m.; Dancing: 7 p.m.

Lahaina Cannery Mall.

MONDAY, MAR 03 flower arranging for your home. $1. 9 a.m. Kaunoa Senior Center. 270-7308.

Stop Sabotaging Yourself - Sometimes we can be our own worst enemies. Discover the underlying beliefs you hold that are keeping you stuck in that rut. 6 p.m. Call for details. 874-6441.

Breast Cancer Support Group - Come together for friendship, support and healing of body and soul. 7 p.m. The Studio Maui, Haiku.

575-9390.

TUESDAY, MAR 04 Tax Aide - Free to anyone with a low to moderate income. Bring ID, Social Security card, 2007 tax return and current tax information. 9 a.m.-12 p.m.

West Maui Senior Center. 572-8633.

Al Anon/Alateen - 5:30 p.m. Iao Congregational Church. 242-0296.

Non-Profit Polynesian Dance - Support the kids of the Napili Kai Foundation by watching their Polynesian dance show. $10 adults, $5 kids. 5:30

Quilt Class - Learn from quilt artist Tracy Brookshier. $50. 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Sew Special, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center. 877-6128.

p.m. 669-6271.

Party Time - Get together with Emmy award winning tap master Ted Levy for social hour after he’s finished teaching his moves at a workshop series at the MACC. 2:30-4 p.m. Flatbread, Paia. 579-8820.

Ayurvedic Consultations - Margo P. Uma Gal,

Whale Watch - Join the Mental Health Kokua aboard the Prince Kuhio. $25, $12.50. 3 p.m.

Ma`alaea Harbor. 244-7405.

Makawao. 572-2424.

WEDNESDAY, MAR 05 CAP., offers up wisdom on diet and lifestyle from over 20 years of experience as an Ayurvedic Practitioner. Walk-ins only. Free. 10:30 a.m.-1 p.m.

Trunk Show - A plethora of quilts on display, with a special appearance by artist Tracey Brookshire. 3-

DA KINECALENDAR 5 p.m. Sew Special, Queen Ka`ahumanu Center.

877-6128.

WOW! - Every Wed. Wailea on Wednesdays presents live island music, gallery receptions, artist appearances and more. . 6:30-8 p.m. 897-6770 x2.

KEIKI Kindergarten Registration - Thu & Fri. School registration at the following locations and times: Paia Elementary, 8-11 a.m. & 1:30-3:30 p.m.; Hana High & Elementary, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.; Kaunakakai Elementary 8 a.m.-2 p.m.; Kilohana Elementary 8 a.m.-4 p.m.; Maunaloa Elemenary, 8 a.m.-3 p.m.; Waihee Elementary, 8:30 a.m.-4 p.m.; Kihei Elementary 8:30 a.m.-3 p.m.; Haiku Elementary, 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; Kahului Elementary 9 a.m.-3 p.m.; Makawao Elementary 9 a.m.-2 p.m. For more info call Maui’s district office of the Department of Education at 808--984-8000.

Story Time - Thu. Keiki story time and crafts. Free.

10 a.m. Hawaiian Village Coffee, Kahana. 665-1114.

Babies with Tempers - Thu. Was your baby born stubborn? Dr. Richard Ripple, pediatrician, will be discussing inborn character traits in babies for parents and caregivers, to help them better understand and respond to their infant’s temperament. Free. 6:30 p.m. 1823 Wells St., Wailuku.

244-6042.

Keiki Issues? - Thu. The Parent Project, a program for parents of strong willed children. Wrestle the phone away from the child and make that call.

Free. 6:30-8:30 p.m. Hui Malama Learning Center.

289-5050.

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Yu-Gi-Oh - Sat. Every Sat. Little gamester get out your cards and get ready for a Yu-Gi-Oh tournament!

Free. 3 p.m. Lahaina Cannery Mall. 661-4766.

Jewelry Making Class - Wed. Free jewelry

Yo Yo Workshop & Demo - Sun. Yo Yo’s are silent, so encourage your kids to learn how to use them and finally get some peace and quiet! Free. 45 p.m. Maui Toy Works. 661-5304.

579-8354.

After-School Help - Mon-Fri. Hui Malama Learning Center offers after-school homework help and classes. Call for directions and hours. 2445911.

Kindergarten Registration - Mon-Wed. Lihikai Elementary, 7 a.m.-4:30 p.m.

Bisque it Baby - Mon. Sometimes, as a mom, all you might need is a little time to do something creative. Get together with other Moms and babies and paint something! Maybe a mug or a teapot, and de-stress. Studio fee only. 9-11 a.m. Kids and Company, Maui Mall. 877-7819.

making class with free club registration, for youth ages 9-12. 3 p.m. Paia Youth & Cultural Center.

Baby Hui - Every Wed & Fri. Here’s a huge understatement: raising babies is challenging. But you don’t have to go it alone. Meet other parents for group meetings designed to empower families to meet the challenges of raising those little monsters with positive parenting skills. Free. www.thebabyhui.org. 10 a.m.-12 p.m. Call for details. 244-6042.

SeaTalk Series - Mon & Tue, Mar 3 & 4.

Experience the North Wester Hawaiian Islands through stories and footage by Ziggy Livnat. Free. 6 p.m., Maui Ocean Center Open Ocean Exhibit.

RSVP 270-7089.

Parent Info Meeting - Every Wed & Thu. For Kihei Charter School, grades K-8. 5 p.m. Kihei

Charter School.

LECTURE Learn to Research - Thu. Bring your research questions and learn about the wealth of information

Toddler Tuesdays - Tue. Toddlers are insane.

Seriously, I can vouch that they are without rational thought. Let them do their thing and cruise with the other crazies for story time, juice, cookies and painting. $15. 10-11 a.m. Maui Mall. 877-7819.

waiting to be discovered at the Hawai`i Business

West Side Storytime - Every Tue & Sat. Lahaina’s newest bookseller is hosting keiki story time, so get them hooked on reading early. Tue., 10 a.m.; Sat., 11 a.m. Barnes and Noble, Lahaina.

TV scientist, children’s author and multiple Emmy

Keiki Shots - Wed. (West Maui) Bring children up to the age of 18 without medical insurance in for vaccinations. Bring all immunization records. Walkin basis. Free. 9-11 a.m. Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center. 984-8260.

Save the Forest - Sun. The Pacific Whale Foundation is hosting a group of ten volunteers to pull invasive pine trees near Hosmers Grove.

Transportation is provided. Bring warm clothes, long pants and closed boots. Pick ups: 7:30 a.m., Harbor Shop, 300 Ma`alaea Rd; 8:15 a.m., Upcountry Tavares Community Center. RSVP 856-8341.

Library. Free. 11:30 a.m. Maui County Business

Resourse Center, Maui Mall. 873-8247.

Focus Green Series - Tue. Focus Green is bringing out the big guns this week with popular winner Bill Nye. $5. 6 p.m. Castle Theater, MACC.

242-7469.

ENVIRONMENT Coastal Restoration - Fri. Habitat restoration at

Smarter than a Sand Crab? - Mon-Fri. Get free info about marine life and answers to all those pesky questions that keep you up all night. The Pacific Whale Foundation Marine Naturalists are definitely smarter than a fifth grader. The question is, are you?. 8 a.m.-1 p.m. Ulua Beach, Wailea.

249-8811.

Volunteer on Vacation - Mon-Sat. Get to know Maui better by volunteering time to one of many important environmental projects. Meet local experts and learn about the history and environment of the land and get a free t-shirt from the Pacific Whale Foundation! Various dates and times.

808-856-8341 for more info.

Save Honolua - Tue. Meeting to inform, educate and involve the community on the proposed development of Honolua Bay. This weeks speaker is Aha Moku council representative Tim Bailey. 6:45 p.m.

Lahaina Civic Center. 870-0052.

Waihe`e coastal dunes with Maui Coastal Land

SPORTS

Trust. 8 a.m.-12 p.m. Waihe‘e. 244-5263.

ays Thursd

y e a t d u I l o R Abs ge F ction Crazyood G Chan with FRI with DJ El Gato DJ BOOMSHOT ys Saturda

with

DJ El Gato

$7 Martinis $2 Domestic Drafts

$7 Martinis $2 Domestic Drafts $7 Martinis & $2 Domestic Drafts

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 www.LahainaStoreGrille.net • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor 10-Closing

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 www.LahainaStoreGrille.net • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor

744 Front St. • Lahaina, HI 96761 808.661.9090 www.LahainaStoreGrille.net • $5 Cover • Visual Enhancements • Large Dance Floor

10-Closing

10-Closing

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

29

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

HENRY’S BAR & GRILL 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 879-2849

Thursday 02/28

Friday 02/29

Saturday 03/01

MGM No cover, 9pm

Cheryl Rae No cover, 9pm

Booze Braddas No cover, 9pm

I’O JACQUES

DJ El Gato & DJ Louis Mole; $10, 10pm

DJ Music No cover, 9pm

Vince Esquire

Kenny Roberts No cover

El Vato Loco No cover

Kenny Roberts No cover

Zone $5, 10pm

Danny Murray No cover, 10pm

120 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8844

36 Keala Pl., Kihei - 875-7711

KAHULUI ALE HOUSE 355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

LAHAINA COOLERS

Coaches and Umpires Clinic - Sat. For seasoned sports leaders and newbies, too. Call for details. 9 a.m. Cameron Center, Wailuku. 877-7071.

Swim for your Heart Race - Sun. A one mile race benefiting the Pet Aloha Fund. Registration: $20/. 8:30 a.m. Wailea Beach. 573-8656.

Sierra Club Hike - Sun. It’s 1.5 miles up steep grade, but the hike to the Kanaio Stupa Tibetan Monastery monument will be worth the trek. Meet at Grandmas Coffee House in Keokea. 9 a.m. 5728831 to register.

Paddling for Breast Cancer Survivors Every Mon & Wed. Get together with other survivors for canoe paddling. Free. 6:45 a.m. Kihei Canoe Club. 243-2999.

Tai Chi - Tue. Practice the 36 movements of the “short yang” style of tai chi chuan. $10 per class.

5:30-6:30 a.m. Unity Church, Wailuku. 242-9327.

Walk, Run, Train - Every Tue & Thu. Whether you’re a walker or a runner, you’ve got a group to train with. 5:30 p.m. Runner’s Paradise, Maui Mall.

877-5300.

Pool Hours - Daily. Pool Hours - Besides the fear of contracting super-strain ukuís, I really enjoy a good swim in a public pool. Sometimes the thought of dealing with sand is just too much to bear. Kahului, Kihei, Lahaina, War Memorial, Pukalani, anthe Old and New Wailuku Pools: M-W, F, S 9 a.m-4 p.m.; Th 10 a.m.-4:30 p.m.; Sun 12-4:30 p.m. These hours can change due to events. To double check you can call, 270-6135.

art must be gallery ready and for sale. There is no entry fee, but artists may be asked to contribute in some other way, such as bringing a pupu.

Submission day is Mon. Mar 8, 10 a.m.-5 p.m.

Reception is Fri. Mar 14, 5-8 p.m. Upcountry Fine

Arts, 573-6000.

Art Maui 2008 - Daily. A prestigious collection of works in all mediums by Maui County artists in this 30th annual juried art exhibition. 11 a.m.- 5 p.m.

Schaefer International Gallery, MACC. 242-2787.

Dancing Feathers - Daily. New works of feather art by Ellen Levinsky are on display. Watch her demonstrate her technique every Friday from 10 a.m.-4 p.m. . Banyan Tree Gallery, Lahaina. 661-0111.

East West Art Show - Daily. See the work of a collection of artists in mediums such as ceramics, wood, paintings, hand painted silk and glass. M-Sa 9 a.m.-5 p.m.; Su 11 a.m.-5 p.m. Viewpoints

Gallery, Makawao.

Glass in Paradise - Daily. This gallery show is the Maui Glass Artist Association’s first juried exhibition. 10-4 p.m. Hui No`eau Visual Arts Center,

Makawao. 572-6560.

Meta-Realism - Daily. View the imaginative works of featured Russian surrealist artist Victor Bregeda’s show Perceptive Dreaming. He creates though-provoking plein air landscapes, still lifes and portraits. The artist will be in attendance Fridays and Saturdays from 7-10 p.m. through the month of March. . 9 a.m.-10 p.m. Sargent’s Fine Art, 802

Front St., Lahaina. 677-4030.

Village Galleries Exhibit, Lahaina - Daily.

View new works in oils by Macario Pascual. This collection of paintings that capture the majestic beauty of Maui were created in plein air as well as in his studio. Village Galleries, 120 Dickenson St.,

Lahaina. 661-4402.

Art Night - Fri. Stroll through dozens of art galleries in Lahaina Town. Special gallery shows, featured artists-in-action and refreshments. Free. 6:30 p.m. Lahaina. 661-6284.

Art Bistro - Sun. Local artists display their wares,

ART

from photography and painting to jewelry and

A Call to Artists - The Maui Arts and Cultural center has announced the a Schaefer Portrait Challenge, 2009. The exhibit is scheduled for Jan 2009. Submission forms are available at www.mauiarts.org or 242-2787.

Do You Have Flower Power? - Submit your work to show at this groovy themed exhibition. All

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

Luke 808 9pm

Rampage 9pm

MIL Sports, GOLF - Fri. Feb 29. Girls: Kekaulike vs Maui High, Wailea; Lahainaluna vs Baldwin, Dunes. Boys : Maui High vs Kekaulike, Pukalani CC; Seabury vs Kamehameh, Makena; Lahainaluna vs St. Anthon, Kahili; Baldwin vs Maui Prep, Kapalua.

All games at 3:30 p.m. Wed. Mar 5. Girls: Maui High vs Baldwin, Dunes; Kekaulike vs Lahainaluna, Kapalua. Boys: Baldwin vs Maui High, Waiehu; Kekaulike vs Kamehameh, Makena; Seabury vs Lahainaluna, Kaanapali; Maui Prep vs St. Anthony, Kahili. All games at 3:30. www.milsportshigh.com

30

TUE - Da Hawaiians; No cover WED - Chico & Da Kine; No cover

Jared No cover

MON -Crunch Pups, $5, 10pm; TUE -Keoki & Friends, No cover; WED - DJ Boomshot, $5, 10pm

Fine Line No cover, 10pm

Dickenson St., Lahaina - 661–7082

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891–8010

Gina Martinelli No cover

Live Music No cover, 10pm

KIMOS

LIFE’S A BEACH

Monday 03/03– Wednesday 03/05

Howard Ahia No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 661-8422

KAHALE’S BEACH CLUB

Sunday 03/02

sculptures. 5-10pm. Jacques Northshore Bistro,

120 Hana Hwy. Paia. 808-269-0961.

POETRY Inspirational

Poetry - Get inspired by

Dreaming-Bear Kanaan, who will be sharing his conscious poetry about passion, beauty and creating a

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Lawa 9pm

Open Mic

MON - Kanoa; WED - DJ Jojo & Crunch Pups

more peaceful world. Rescheduled for this date. $10. 7-9:30 p.m. Unity Church, Wailuku. 242-9327.

Conversations with Friends - Every Thu.

Open Mic - Every night is open mic night at Hawaiian Village Coffee. Kahana Gateway location, call 665-1114.

New Thought leaders. 11 a.m., KAOI 1110 AM

Express Yourself - Every Mon. Open Mic Night with music, song, poetry! Free. 7 p.m., Cafe Marc Aurel, Wailuku, 244-0852.

ries and values of the small towns we love and

Poetry Reading - Every second Tue, read your original work, your favorite poem, or just come to be inspired. Free. 6:30 p.m., Lahaina Public Library, 662-3950.

Open Mind Open Mic - Every Mon. Open Mind Open Mic with spoken word, poetry, comedy— whatever you have to say here’s your chance. 7:30 p.m., Moana Bakery, Paia, 244-9091.

Mary Omwake and James Jacobson interview

Smallville - Every Fri. Small Town Maui, a onehour, weekly radio program that shares the memoexplores how we can learn from Maui's past to create a better future. 7 a.m. KAOI, 1110 AM. On the Upside with Teri - Every Fri. Political and public affairs, call-in talk show with Teri Lawrence. 12-1 p.m. KAOI 1110 AM Call in 242-

7800.

Uncle Charlie’s Corner - Sat. Kahu Charles Kauluwehi Maxwell, Sr. talks story. 6-10 a.m., KNUI

900 AM.

Open Mic - Every Saturday the Maui Media Lab hosts an open mic night for poets, muscicians and others who want to be heard. Sessions are recorded and fed to the internet. All ages are welcome.

Free. 6-9 p.m., Maui Media Lab, Baldwin Ave, zumatribe@yahoo.com.

Free Zone/ Zona Libre - Every other Sat. A

Poetry Reading - Every second Thu Maui Live Poets Society hosts an open poetry reading on the West side. Free. 6:30- 9 p.m. Lahaina, 661-0517

Maui Matters - Sat-Sun. Pacific Radio Group

TV/RADIO

Spanish Language - Sat-Sun. Carlos David

The Restless Native Speaks - Every Mon. Maui Time Weekly’s own Starr Begley talks story on the Ed and Greg show. 10 a.m., WILD 105.5 FM. Filipino Language - Mon-Fri. Fred Duldulao, Leo Agcolicol, Rey Patao and Maggie Evangelista host a Filipino language talk show. 4-6 a.m.; 7-10 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Talk Story - Every Mon-Thu. Political figures take calls and answer questions on the air. 7-8 a.m., KAOI 1110 AM. Tune in and call 244-9145.

Mind Body Spirit - Every Mon from 6:30-9:30 p.m., Tue from 11 a.m.-2 p.m., and Thu at noon. Liah Howard, psychic and guests. KAOI 1110 AM. Maui Talks - Every Tue. A live, public affairs, callin talk show, hosted by Nick Nikhilananda. 7 p.m.

Channel 53. Call in at 873-3430 or for info call 5728787.

Words of Peace - Every Wed-Thu. Prem Rawat broadcasts messages of world and inner peace.

Not associated with a specific religion. Wed, 9 p.m.; Thu, 8 a.m. Akaku Channel 52, www.contactinfo.org, 800-558-0940.

multi-lingual, multi-cultural radio program featuring world music, fresh thought, live interviews with local and international artists and NO commercial breaks. 6-10 a.m. Mana’o Radio 91.5 FM.

News Director Wendy Osher discusses local issues. 1-2 p.m., KNUI 900 AM.

Hernandez discusses news and plays music in Spanish. 2-4 p.m., KNUI 900 AM. Japanese Language - Sun. Yumi’s long-running Japanese language show. 7-8:30 p.m.,

KNUI 900 AM. Save Honolua - Every Wed at 8 p.m and Thu at 7:30 a.m., AKAKU Channel 53.

KARAOKE Isana Restaurant - Daily, 9 p.m. 515 S. Kihei

Rd., Kihei, 874-1811.

Kobe Japanese Steakhouse - Fri-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 136 Dickenson St., Lahaina, 667-5555.

Lulu’s - Wed, 7 p.m., 1941 S. Kihei Rd., 879-9944.

Sansei - Thu-Fri, 10 p.m., 600 Office Road,

Kapalua, 669-6286; Thu-Sat, 10 p.m. Kihei Town Center, 879-0004.

Tiffany’s - Daily, 9:30 p.m., 1424 L. Main St.,

Wailuku, 249-0052.

Unisan - Thu-Sat, 9:30 p.m., 2102 Vineyard St.,

Wailuku, 244-4500.

DA KINECALENDAR DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI BJ’s Chicago Pizzeria - Wed-Fri, John Kane; Sat, Harry Troupe; Sun, Greg DiPiazza; Mon, Tue, Marvin Tevaga. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m. 730 Front St., Lahaina, 661-0700.

Cheeseburger In Paradise - Mon, Tue, Scotty Rotten; Wed, Fri, Harry Troupe; Thu, Sat, Sun, Brooks McGuire. All sets 4:30-10:30 p.m. 811 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4855.

Compadres - Tue, 4 p.m., Live music. Lahaina Cannery Mall, 661-7189.

BY JESSICA ARMSTRONG CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

Mon, Kenny Roberts; Tue, Ramen & Cora; Wed, Keoki Ruiz. All sets 6-9 p.m. The Maui Coast Hotel, 2259 S. Kihei Rd., 874-6284.

CENTRAL MAUI AK’s Cafe - Fri, Ron Kuala’au. 6:15 p.m. , Sat Tarvin Makai 6:15 p.m.1237 L. Main St, Wailuku, 244-8774.

Café Marc Aurel - Tue, Live Music; Mon, Open Mic Night. 7:30 p.m. 28 N. Market St., Wailuku, 244-0852.

Main Street Bistro - Th-Fri, Rhythm & Blues with Freedom. 5-7:30 p.m.. 2051 Main St., Wailuku, 244-6816.

Cool Cat Cafe - Thu, Erin Smith; Fri, Sat, Dave Carroll; Sun, Wed, Whale Sharks; Mon, Mickie Moore; Tue, Jazz; . all sets 7:30-10 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 667-0908.

Sushi Go - Wed, Live music. 4-8 p.m. Queen Ka`ahumanu Center, Kahului, 877-8744.

Hula Grill - (Early sets) Wed, Thu, Fri, Ernest Pua’a; Sat, Sun, Mon, Kawika Lum Ho; Tue, Jarret Roback. Early sets 3-5 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Braddah Brian & Roy; Fri, Brian, Roy & Kawika;. Sat, “TBA”; Sun, Ryan Tanaka & Friends; Mon,“TBA”; Tue, Albert & Roy; Wed, An Den. Late sets 7-9:30 p.m. 2435 Ka`anapali Parkway, Building P, 6676636.

Hana Hou Cafe - Thu, Haiku Hillbillys; Wed, Tom Conway and Randall Rospond. Sat, Live music. All sets 6-9 p.m. 810 Haiku Rd, Haiku Cannery, 5752661.

Java Jazz/Soup Nutz - Mon-Sat, Acoustic music. All sets 7 p.m. 3350 Lower Honoapi`ilani Rd., Honokowai, 667-0787.

Kimo’s - Mon- Wed, Sat, Sun, Sam Ahia. Fri, deAquino Bradaz. All sets 6:30-8:30 p.m. 845 Front St., Lahaina, 661-4811.

Leilani’s On The Beach - Fri, Scott Baird;. Sat, JD and Harry; Sun, Kilohana. All sets 2:30-5 p.m.

2435 Ka`anapali Pkwy, Building J, 661-4495.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Lahaina - Fri, Llayne & Pro Ed; Sat, Mark & Mike. All sets 6-9 p.m. 844 Front St., 667-7758.

UPCOUNTRY MAUI

■ THE SHOPS AT WAILEA 3750 Wailea Alanui

RESORT SHOWS WEST MAUI ■ HYATT REGENCY MAUI RESORT & SPA 200 Nohea Kai Dr, Lahaina, 661-1234 Weeping Banyan Lounge - Nightly, Live music. All sets 6:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

■ KA`ANAPALI BEACH HOTEL 2525 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0011 Kupanaha - Nightly, Hula show, 6:30-7:30 p.m.

Tiki Courtyard - Nightly, Alanui with Uncle Rudi; Sun, Hula show. All sets 6:30 p.m.

■ NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT 5900 Honoapi`ilani Hwy, Napili, 669-1500

Ma`alaea Grill - Thu, Fri, Sat, Benoit Jazz Works.

All sets 6:30-9 p.m. Maalaea Harbor, 243-2206.

Thu, Kincaid and Albert; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincaid Basques; Sun, Kapule Paoa; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 7-9 p.m.

Tommy Bahama’s Tropical Café - Sun, Mon, Brittany; Wed, Sat, Merv Oana Thu; Fri Margie; Tue Jamie Lawrence. All sets 6-10 p.m. The Shops at Wailea, 875-9983.

Tradewinds Poolside Cafe - Thu, Kawika Lum Ho; Fri, Kaleo Cullen; Sat, Louise Lambert; Sun,

Botero Bar - Wed, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

Moana Cafe & Bakery - Sat, Live jazz music with Mark Johnstone & Friends, 11 a.m.-3 p.m. 71 Baldwin Ave., Paia, 579-9999.

Longhi’s - Sat, acustic music. 10:30-11 p.m. 3750 Wailea Alanui Dr., 891-8883

South Shore Tiki Lounge - Thu, Sun, Tue, Tony; Fri, Eclipse; Sat, Erin Smith; Mon, Kanoa; Wed, Kenny Roberts. All sets 4-6 p.m. 1913 Kihei Rd., Kihei Kalama Village, 874-6444.

■ GRAND WAILEA RESORT HOTEL & SPA 3850 Wailea Alanui, 875-1234

■ THE FAIRMONT KEA LANI MAUI 4100 Wailea Alanui, 875-4100

Ohana Bar & Grill - Wed, Thu, Live music; Fri, Patrick Major; Sun, Wayne and Friends; Mon, Tue, Ernest Pua`a. All sets 5:30-9:30 p.m. Torch lighting ceremony nightly.

Mulligan’s on the Blue - Fri, Joyce & Gord, 5:30-8 p.m.; Sat, Sun, Celtic Tigers; Mon, Gypsy Pacific; 7 p.m. 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea, 874-1131.

Lobby Lounge - (Early sets) Thu, Steve Repollo and Alan Villeran; Sat, Mon, Island Style Trio with hula dancing. Early sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sal Godinez and Marcus Johnson; Fri, Clay Mortensen and George Tavoularis; Sat, Mon, Nils and Anastasia; Sun, Pam Peterson and Rudy Baria; Wed, Clay Mortensen and Gilbert Emata. Late sets 8:30-11:30 p.m. Torchlighting ceremony nightly.

Livewire Cafe - Tue, Green Room Blue; Wed, Eddie Float; Sat, Joshua. All sets 7:30-9:30 p.m.

137 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-6009.

Pioneer Inn - Thu, Ah-Tim Eleniki; Tue, Captain Billy Bones; Wed, Greg Di Piazza. All sets 6-8 p.m.

658 Wharf St., Lahaina, 661-3636.

Moose McGillycuddy’s, Kihei - Fri, Erin Smith; Sat, Anuhea; All sets 5:30-7:30 p.m. 2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600.

SOUTH MAUI ■ FOUR SEASONS RESORT WAILEA 3900 Wailea Alanui, 874-8000

Humuhumunukunukuapua`a - Nightly, 5:30 p.m., Strolling Hawaiian Duo.

■ KAANAPALI BEACH CLUB 104 Ka`anapali Shores, Lahaina, 661-2000

SOUTH MAUI

Tropica - (Early sets) Thu, Wed, Brian Haia; Fri, Sat, Mon, Marvin Tevaga; Sun, Josh Kahula; Tue, Ernest Pua`a. Early sets 3-6 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Fri, Wed, Benny Uyetake; Sat, Tue, Mitch Kepa; Sun, Steve Sargenti; Mon, Josh Kahula. Late sets 6-9 p.m.

Jacque’s - Mon, Live Jazz. 5 p.m. 120 Hana Hwy, Paia, 579-8844.

Mulligan’s on the Wharf - Fri, AnRil. All sets 7 p.m. Wharf Cinema Center, Lahaina, 661-8881.

Sea House Restaurant - Thu, Albert Kaina and Kincade Basques; Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Kincade Basques; Sun, Andrew; Wed, Albert Kaina. All sets 6:30 or 7-9 p.m. Napili Kai Beach Resort, 5900 Honoapi`ilani Rd., Napili, 669-1500.

Tue, Brian Haia; Wed, Pam Peterson. Tue-Sun shows, 6-9 p.m. Mon, 5:30-9 p.m.

■ ROYAL LAHAINA RESORT 2780 Keka`a Dr., Ka`anapali, 661-3611 Royal Ocean Terrace - Thu, Fri, Sat, Live Hawaiian. 6-8 p.m.

■ SHERATON MAUI HOTEL 2605 Ka`anapali Pkwy, 661-0031 Lagoon Bar - Nightly, Hula dancing during sets.

Thu, Mon, Tue, Bobby and Ralph; Fri, Ralph and Allan; Sat, Sun, Fausto and Kawaika; Wed, Nathan and Ralph. All sets 6-8 p.m. Torchlighting and cliff diving ceremony at sunset nightly.

■ THE WESTIN MAUI HOTEL 2365 Kaanapali Parkway, 667-2525 Ono Bar & Grille - Thu, Sat, Steve Sargenti; Fri, Larry Golis; Sun, Margie Heart; Mon, Ernest Puaa;

BENEFIT MUSICIAN ON CALL

Lobby Bar - Nightly, 5:30-9:30 p.m., Live music.

East Wing - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Marti Kluth.

Lower Courtyard - Wed, 6:30-8 p.m., Jamie Lawerence and Friends.

■ WAILEA MARRIOTT 3700 Wailea Alanui, 879-1922

TICKETS ON SALE $30 at Hard Rock Cafe Doors Open at 10pm

Kumu Bar & Grill - Nightly, Hula dancing. 6-9 p.m.

Mele Mele Lounge - Nightly, Live music. 9-11 p.m.

■ RENAISSANCE WAILEA BEACH RESORT 3550 Wailea Alanui, 879-4900 Sunset Terrace - Wed, Thu, Bobby Krueger; Fri, Mahalo Greg; Sat, Rama Camarillo; Sun, Mondo Kane; Mon, Tue, Lono. All sets 6-9 p.m.

■ MAUI PRINCE HOTEL 5400 Makena Alanui, 874-1111 Molokini Lounge - (Very early sets) Fri, Mon, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Very early sets 9 a.m-1 p.m. (Followed by) Thu, Sat, Sun, Tue, Ron Kuala’au; Fri, Mon, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Early sets 6 p.m.

(Followed by) Thu, Fri, Sat, Mon, Tue, Wed, Mele `Ohana Duo. Late sets 8:30-10:30 p.m.

EAST MAUI ■ HOTEL HANA-MAUI Hana, 248-8211 Paniolo Lounge - Thu-Sun, Live music. 6:309:30 p.m.

Main Dining Room - Thu, Sun, Hula dancing.

7:30-8:15 p.m.

Monday Nights 10PM

Send your listings and photos for the Da Kine Calendar to Jessica Armstrong at

LIVE MUSIC One Round Trip Inter-Island

Ticket Give Away Each Monday From

calendar@mauitime.com or fax (808) 244-0446

900 Front Street

667-7400 MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

31

The Grid lists nightly entertainment at bars, clubs, cafes, other non-dinner serving establishments, as well as restaurants with entertainment after 9pm.

Thursday 02/28 LONGHI’S 1945 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-9944

Saturday 03/01

Sunday 03/02

Neto Latin Salsa No cover, 9pm

The Willy’s & DJ Shaggy No cover, 9pm

All Access & DJ Shaggy No cover, 10pm

WED - Karaoke, 9pm

MAUI BREWING CO.

WED - Open Mic Night, 10:30pm

4405 Honoapi`ilani Hwy., Kahana - 669-3474

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S

DJ Jo Jo No cover, 9pm

DJ J-Woo No cover, 9pm

Guitar Hero No cover, 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

ADD Twins No cover, 9pm

DJ Domino No cover, 9pm

Rock & Roll No cover, 9pm

MON - DJ Bryan, 9pm; TUE DJ Mackie Mac, 9pm, WED - DJ Domino, 9pm

Cyrus C No cover

A Kettle Prime No cover, 9pm

Celtic Tigers

Celtic Tigers

MON - Gypsy Pacific; TUE - Randall Rospond; WED - Steve Sargenti

Wee D’ono No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

Hazmatt No cover, 10pm

Silky Ringo No cover, 10pm

MON - Live Music; TUE - Two Dimes & a Nickel, Beck Weathers; WED - Open Mic

DJ El Gato $5, 10pm

DJ Boomshot $5, 10pm

DJ El Gato $5, 10pm

Lounge & Beats No cover, 10pm

MON & TUE - Lounge & Beats, No cover, 10pm; WED - Live Music, $5, 10pm

DJ JP No cover, 10pm

MON - DJ Louis Mole, 10pm; TUE - DJ Boomshot, No cover, 10pm; WED - ADD Twins, No cover, 10pm

DJ Shark in da Water, No cover, 9:30pm

TUE - The New Project, No cover, 10pm; WED - DJ Del Sol, No cover, 9:30pm

2511 S. Kihei Rd., 891-8600

MOOSE MCGILLYCUDDY’S 844 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7758

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE 100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

MULLIGAN’S AT THE WHARF Cinema Center, Lahaina - 661-8881

OYSTER BAR 744 Front St., Lahaina - 661-9090

PACIFIC’O

Soft Touch No cover, 9pm

505 Front St., Lahaina - 667-4341

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

AKA Kyle No cover, 10pm

Freaky Friday w/DJ Sonny No cover, 10pm

Hyatt Regency, Ka`anapali - 667-4727

2411 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-0602

Crunch Pups

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR

1279 S. Kihei Road, Kihei - 874-9299

Yo Mama No cover, 9:30pm

Soul Concepts No cover, 10pm

Ryan Robinson Band No cover, 10pm

I SOLD A $365,000 CONDO with a $9 classified ad in MauiTime!

Josh Jerman, Broker

Call and place your classified ad today!

264-8039 283-3260

32

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

Bozo the Train No cover, 9:30pm

Crunch Pups $3, 9pm

1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

TIP-UPS TAVERN

DJ JP No cover, 10pm DJ Blast, $15, 9:30pm

SPATS TRATTORIA SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR

Monday 03/03– Wednesday 03/05

Lawa 9:30pm

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S

Friday 02/29

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

Ohana Groove No cover, 10pm

Adult Services HOT, ATHLETIC BODY

MEET HOT SINGLES Connect locally. 18+ 808-5216696. Ad#4288

SWEET SENSATIONS Sexy, voluptuous beauty provokes erotic tantric pleasures. Loving domination & caring companionship for men and couples.

Northshore 280-0601 SWEDISH DELIGHT Voluptuous, Mature Escort. 250-0272 ENERGY FOR YOU Feel great with a sweet touch.

Outcalls only. 276-9205

For A Deliciously good time... call

Cherry

280-1694 Pleasures in Paradise Exquisite Tantric Touch

879-3500

The Garden of Sensual Delight Beautiful, sexy and sweet!

250-6274 North Kihei

~ Let your Wildcat out ~ Soothe the Savage Beast

intimate, loving, playful meow...purrrr...

205-1765 Healing Goddess

891-2700

Maui Time Weekly accepts credit cards for classified and display ads

Angel on Maui Incalls - Outcalls Couples Welcome Located in Kihei

Experience the healing power of touch.

NOW HIRING

NAUGHTY FRISKY KITTIES Individuals • Couples • Bachelor & Bachelorette Parties

269-2483

DREAM GODDESS Experience the Divine Feminine through ❤ SENSUAL ❤ ❤ BODYWORK ❤ ❤ TANTRA❤

808-344-7212 Kahului Where your need for love is fulfilled.

Tantric Loving Bodywork

INANNA

Sensual Island Goddess to nurture your body, mind & spirit Unconditional love from the heart in or out call

264-6325

1.900.226.0169 $1.99/MIN. MUST BE 18+ TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS USING A CREDIT CARD, CALL

WOMEN Seeking Men

Voluptuous Beauty 2-4-6 Hour $9.95 ea.•6/$39.95

Call 283-3260

ADULT TOYS, MAGAZINES & MORE DETOX, TEST KITS & SUPPLEMENTS SMOKING & HOOKAH ACCESSORIES USED BOOKS & RECYCLED RECORDS

by 4 pm on Monday

EARTH ANGEL....

Seeks a good man who has got it together, N/S, SWM, 40-60, young at heart, healthy, loves to laugh and have fun, share wine, sunsets, cozzy candle-light dinners, stimulating conversations. 616262

to get your ad

MEN Seeking Women

269-4879

344-3414

TO LISTEN & RESPOND TO ADS, CALL

Deep Bodywork & Tantric Touch

Healing Touch Therapy

Sweet Island Beauties Are Waiting For You...

1.800.710.8735

To pay for our services using a check, call 1-800-252-0920

344-5999

250-6206

TO BECOME A MEMBER, CALL

1.800.721.0152

XXX ADULT DVD’S

Carmen’s Den Smokeshop

BOOK YOUR AD TODAY!

in Maui Time Weekly!

PHONE: 244 - 6100 VISA/MC INTERNET • SPECIAL ORDERS! DAILY 11:00 AM - 7:00 PM 1883 WILI PA LOOP•WAILUKU MILLYARD (ACROSS FROM WAILUKU POST OFFICE)

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM

Sensual Polynesian Goddess

VERY SPIRITUAL WM, 55, likes being outdoors and nature. Would like to meet a woman who also enjoys nature and has an intellect I can relate to. 258348

HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU SM, 38, 4’11”, employed, likes fishing, sunshine, simple times.

Wishing to meet a sweet SF, to share talks, dates, laughter, life and possible LTR. 224338 HOPE TO MEET... a sweet lady. Young-atheart WM, loves being in the water, having fun, hiking, dirt biking, much more. Would like to have a partner to share fun with. 35-50. 259184

357-6750 Relaxing, Soothing, Discreet

A

Beautiful Blonde for discreet pleasures 280-6875

CLASSIFIEDS

TO ADVERTISE Call 283-3260

CLASSIFIEDS

ENCHANTED GARDENS Melt to my Magical Hands Rhythmically Chanting upon your Whole Body. Balmy Breezes, OceanVistas and Lush Green Gardens abound as you are Tenderly Touched, Transported into Tantric Ecstasy. Elegant, Discreet, Intimate. Irresistible.

Couples & Women especially Invited. 875-8388

EXOTIC BRUNETTE

CHARGE IT TODAY!

*charges may apply

GET LUCKY TONIGHT! Meet Island Singles! 18+ 808-521-6696. Ad# 4003

visit us online at www.mauitimepersonals.com

FAX NUMBER 808-244-0446 EMAIL classifieds@mauitime.com

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

DROP OFF 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, W ailuku

18+

866.399.5979 For customer service call 1-617-450-8773 or email MauiTime@placepersonal.com

LINGO: A-Asian; B-Black; C-Christian; D-Divorced; F-Female; G-Gay; H-Hispanic; J-Jewish; M-Male; N/S-Non-Smoker; P-Professional; S-Single; W-White GUIDELINES: Personals are for adults 18 or over seeking monogamous relationships. To ensure your safety, carefully screen all responses and have first meetings occur in a public place. This publication reserves the right to edit, revise, or reject any advertisement at any time at its sole discretion and assumes no responsibility for the content of or replies to any ad. Not all ads have corresponding voice messages. To review our complete guidelines, call (617) 425-2636 0226

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

33

E M P L O Y M E N T OUTDOOR YOUTH COUNSELOR

HUMANE

ing troubled teens? Immediate openings at Eckerd outdoor thera-

S O C I E T Y

peutic programs in NC, TN, GA, FL,

VETERINARY ASSISTANT

tial position, free room & board, competitive salary/benefits. Info outh.org. Or fax resume to career Advisor/AN, 727-442-5911.

EOE/DFWP (AAN CAN) $ MODELS WANTED $ For magazine print work. $250$900. Ages 18 to 35. 573-3712

EVENT & CONVENTION STAFF Friendly, responsible people with their own transportation for seasonal programs.

Days and Evenings

TOP PAY! Send resumes to:

BARTENDERS NEEDED

Fax: 808-244-7036 or

Looking for part/full time bar-

hr@hawaiimeetings.com

tenders. Several positions available.No experience required.With hourly wages and tips make up to $300 per shift. Call(800)806-0082 ext.200.(AAN CAN)

Responsible, under supervision of the staff veterinarian, for routine health examinations & health maintenance for all animals sheltered by the Maui Humane Society.

Qualifications: Min. 21 years of age. Must be a high school graduate with two or more years veterinary experience preferred. Must be able to lift at least 50 lbs.

COOL TRAVEL JOB ! ! !

One Month Paid Training! $500 Sign on Bonus. Must be free to travel & start today. 1-800-7357409 (AAN CAN) GOVERNMENT JOBS

Accounting, More!

Finance,

2,500-$3,500 per month

(AAN CAN)

Experience necessary and valid driver’s license.

CALLING ALL HOME HEALTH STAFF! • RNs • Physical Therapist • Occupational Therapist • Nursing Assistants Excellent Pay & More • Create your own schedule for busy Home Healthcare Company

Fax resume to 871-7366 HAWAII HEALTHCARE PROFESSIONALS, INC.

TERMINIX All Fumigators

NEEDED!

Experience preferred, but not necessary.

Able and willing to work weekends.

Excellent starting pay.

Full benefits package available!

Apply in person 8am - 3pm 891 Eha Street, Wailuku, HI 96793

$3,500-$5,000

Weekly

Working From Home! Guaranteed Paychecks!

Necessary!

Today!

No

Experience

Positions Available

Register Online Now!

h tt p : / / w w w. b i g p a y w o r k . c o m

EEO AA M/F/D/V

(AAN CAN)

34

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

CASHIERS

(HONOKOWAI) (KIHEI)

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

F/T DELI LEAD CLERK (KIHEI)

P/T BAKERY CLERK (HONOKOWAI)

FT & PT positions. Customer service oriented individuals needed for our Honokowai Store in Maui.

Excellent benefits. Flexible shifts available.

An Equal Opportunity Employer

WANTED!

Executive Sales Rep

Call 871-7120 Royal Hawaiian Tires 300 K. Hukilike St., Kahului

DATA ENTRY PROCESSORS

Earn

1279 S. Kihei Rd., Azeka II Mauka

for office equipment sales

MAUI’S BEST SUSHI! High volume, high energy restaurants now hiring professionals with experience, aloha & team spirit.

SANSEI Kapalua • Line Cook (F/T) • Hosts • Reservationist

808-669-6286 SANSEI Kihei • Hosts (F/T & P/T) • Line Cook (F/T & P/T)

808-879-0004

• Industry high commissions • Full benefits • Company trips

Contact Dan 800-947-8500 x203

AUTO or FURNITURE UPHOLSTERER Full time, experienced.

Apply at: 261-B Dairy Rd. Kahului Mon.-Fri. Call Joe or Jodi

877-4466

NOW HIRING crew for whale watching tours in Alaska!

Apply at: www.4seasonsmarine.com/jobs

Custom Upholstery and Auto Detailing Inc.

STOCKER POSITION LIFE SKILLS RUSTY HARPOON AVAILABLE Apply in person at

Hawaiian Moons Natural Foods 2411 So. Kihei Rd. Kihei

Wildlife,

1-800-320-9353 x.2001.

(KIHEI & HONOKOWAI)

!

Apply online at www.hhcpcaring.com

Enforcement,

COURTESY CLERKS DELI CLERKS

NOW SERVICE WRITER / HIRING ASSISTANT MANAGER • A.M. LINE COOK • P.M. LINE COOK TRAINEE Apply in person

Work for a Company that treats you like “FAMILY”

Law

JOIN OUR FIVE-STAR TEAM!

An equal opportunity employer.

Benefits, Paid Training, Homeland Administrative, Clerical, Office,

Media Systems, Inc. 727 Waine'e St. Suite 201 Lahaina, Maui, HI 96761 808-667-2271 www.msimaui.com

Deadline: March 12

Earn Up to $12 to $48/Hour.

Security,

Capturing the Spirit of Aloha

Mail or fax resume to: Apply in person at: Director of Veterinary Services Maui Humane Society P.O. Box 1047 Mokulele Highway Puunene, HI 96748 Puunene-Kihei, HI 96748 Fax: (808) 877-5033 Phone: (808) 877-3680

$

Serendipity Maui FT/PT Sales on Front St in Lahaina. Evening shift 411 PM. Must be enthusiastic, energetic, and have a positive attitude! Great pay, bonuses, 401-K, benefits, and discounts.

Julie 283-5767.

Maui's premier visual services provider needs photographers to work 2 to 3 nights at the most popular luaus on Maui.

Starting salary @$9.50/hr. plus sales commission. An outgoing enthusiastic personality and reliable transportation is a must. Apply in person at:

Join the dedicated team of animal welfare professionals

VT, NH and RI. Year-round residen-

and apply online:www.eckerdy-

PHOTOGRAPHERS

The Maui

Do you love the outdoors and help-

BRADLEY PACIFIC AVIATION

Aircraft Fueler/Driver Duties incl fueling commercial aircraft at Kahului Airport. Must be a team player, have good communication and time management skills. Class B CDL req.

HAZMAT Endorsement pref, exper not req.

• FT position. • Comprehensive benefits, • Full medical and dental • Matching 401K • Vacation and sick.

Drug screening req.

Fax resume: 893-2042 or apply in person Mon - Fri., 8:30-4:00 25 Kuhea Road, Kahului Airport

SPECIALIST

Oceanfront on Kaanapali Beach Busy season is here!!

Non-profit, seeking compassionate individual to provide life skills training to adults with disabilities in a group home setting. Salary ($22K/yr.) and private room provided. Required: H.S. diploma or equivalent, D.L. w/clean traffic abstract.

Desired: Social/Human Service exp. Send resume w/ cover letter & position title to:

• EXECUTIVE CHEF • SOUS CHEF • FOOD RUNNERS • BISTRO COOKS • DISHWASHERS • LINE COOKS AM/PM Apply within 8 to 5 pm -No phone calls please-

STEADFAST HOUSING DEVELOPMENT CORP.

Hot new restaurant on S.Kihei Rd seeking enthusiastic people for all positions:

LAHAINA, MAUI

677 Ala Moana Blvd., #713, Honolulu, HI 96813 Fax: 808-599-1821 or Email: kpantaleon@steadfast-hawaii.org

FULL CHARGE BOOKKEEPER FOR ESTABLISHED WAILUKU BUSINESS Immediate position available.

Flexible hours. F/T or P/T. We are looking for a smart, hard worker who is proficient in all accounting functions, including A/P, A/R, G/L, Bank Reconciliation, Financial statements, G.E. taxes, as well as Payroll. Must be familiar with QuickBooks, Excel and Word Pay is commensurate with experience.

Fax Resume To: 442-9899

WOKSTARS WANTED! • PREP COOK • BARISTA • AM/PM LINECOOKS • COUNTER SERVERS

Work doesn't have to suck!

Wok Star International Noodle Cafe opening Mid-March.

Call 276-7673 or email wokstar@live.com

JAVA JAZZ

in Honokowai is hiring

PM Barrista

• FT position • Excellent benefits • Meal plus health insurance EXPERIENCED ONLY! 276-3177 Apply in person

****$700-$800,000 FREE CASH

THE FISH MARKET MAUI Now accepting applications & resumes for

Customer Service

*MUST LOVE PEOPLE*

AD DEADLINE MONDAY 4PM

Apply in person at

3600 Lower Honoapiilani Rd. • Honokowai

SPICES RESTAURANT

NOW HIRING

TABLE PIZZA ★ ★ ROUND Your future looks bright.

NOW HIRING • Counter Help • Kitchen Help • Prep Cook

★

Kaanapali Restaurant Starting wage $9.50/hr Benefits & Bonuses

662-0777

★

BUBBA GUMP SHRIMP CO. Looking For: Line Cooks & Front of the House Employees Apply in person 889 Front St. Lahaina

AUTO SALES Tired of the same old J.O.B. ?

J.O.B. “Just Over Broke” WOULD YOU LIKE A CHALLENGING “CAREER?” ONE THAT PAYS YOU WHAT YOU’RE TRULY WORTH?

Salary + Commission Medical/Dental/Drug & 401K plan

employment CLASSIFIEDS

Bussers • Servers Fax 891-8862 or Apply in person at 2259 S. Kihei Rd.

TO ADVERTISE IN THE EMPLOYMENT SECTION Call 264-8039 FAX NUMBER 808-244-0446 EMAIL robin@mauitime.com

WEBSITE www.mauitime.com

MAILING 33 N. Market St. Ste. 201 Wailuku, HI 96793

DROP OFF

1977 MERCEDES 450 SL Convertible with hard top. Clean.

New tires. $5,577 or best offer.

Call 244-0161 or 242-1350

$500 POLICE IMPOUNDS Cars from $500! Tax Repos, US Marshall and IRS Sales! Cars, Trucks, SUV’s, Toyota’s, Honda’s, Chevy’s, more! For Listings Call 1800-706-1759 x6443. (AAN CAN)

BALDWIN HIGH SCHOOL ACE AUTO GLASS 185 E.Wakea, Kahului

871-7921 PARADISE MART

ACE

WAKEA

Now Recruiting

EDUCATIONAL ASSISTANTS I, II, III

MIDAS

BUSINESS OPPORTUNITIES

BRANCH OUT TREE SERVICE

HELP WANTED Earn Extra income assembling CD cases from Home.

Start Immediately.

No Experience Tree Trimmers, Ground & Yard Maintenance Help. Male & Female. Necessary. 1-800-405-7619 ext.150 F/T. No Drugs. Driver’s License Req. h t t p : / / w w w . e a s y w o r k greatpay.com (AAN CAN)

Call 572-1636

PLACING AN AD IS EASY! CALL 264-8039

Movie Extras, Actors, Models!

Make $100-$300/day.

No Experience Required. Meet celebrities, Full Time/Part Time, All looks ALOHA VALUED READERS needed! Call Now! 1-800-556-6103 We would like to let our readers extension 528 (AAN CAN) know that we try to screen most of our ads. We read back the ad copy TIRED OF THE RAT RACE? to ensure that it is the correct inforLet us help you Incredible opportunity, Earn $1K- mation that advertisers want. If with your image! $10K+ weekly, Turnkey system, you see the acronym (AAN CAN) Magnificent and unobstructed Training provided, No selling, No that ad is a national ad and was not views of Molokai and Lanai. calling.

Paid weekly! submitted directly to us. If you Build your dream home on this http://www.317kfromhome.com have a question directly concern13,800 sq. ft. land in (AAN CAN) ing AAN CAN, please check out prestigious neighborhood of www.websitesonmaui.com Kaanapali Golf Estate. $888,000. aancan.org HOME REFUND JOBS! If you've got it, flaunt it Baby!

Earn $3,500 - $5,000 Weekly PREGNANT? CONSIDERING Serious inquiries only.

Processing Company Refunds ADOPTION? 276-3177 leave message.

Vacation Rental Owners!

Online! Guaranteed Paychecks! Talk with caring agency specializPermit legal cleaning co., NOT! No Experience Needed! Positions ing in matching Birthmothers with SHARED HOUSING, Maui Cleaning Co. is licensed, insured Available Today! Register Online Families & bonded. You operate legally, make nationwide.

LIVING ROOMMATES sure your cleaning co. does too. Call Now! www.rebatework.com EXPENSES PAID. Call 24/7 Abby’s ALL AREAS - ROOMATE.COM (AAN CAN) One True Gift Adoptions 1-866-413- Browse hundreds of online listings 879-3332 mauicleaningcompany.com 6293 (AAN CAN) with photos and maps. Find your roommate with a click of the The Colour Authority Kihei Restaurant $65K FREE AND ANONYMOUS HIV mouse! Visit: Wailuku Restaurant $65K www.Roommates.com (AAN CAN) Lahaina Restaurant $20K TESTING OFFERED THROUGH Don't gamble with

NOTICES

572-5884

ANYTHING COMPUTERS 808-351-6383 Attention

PATRICK HAKOLA

Kahului Restaurant $250K Paia Restaurant $145K

Michael Capuano 873-7133

AUTOMOTIVE

Please contact: Dave or Mike ALOHA KIA of MAUI

Apply in person at 1650 Kaahumanu Ave. or call Michele Fujiyama 984-5656

in the Paia area.

$BUY & SELL$

CARS - FOREIGN

POST OFFICE NOW HIRING. Avg. Pay $20/hour or $57K/yr. includes Federal Benefits and OT. Offered by exam services, not affiliated w/USPS who hires. 1-866616-7019 (AAN CAN)

• Custom Dresses & Gowns • Custom Bridal Gowns • Lingerie • Alterations

Call Chris 214-3253

BUY & SELL

AUTOMOTIVE SERVICES

$1581.66 - $1853.34 per month.

Permanent/Temporary, Full Time/Part Time.

Yokis

!!!REWARD!!!

33 N. Market St. Ste. 201, Wailuku

Hiring Energetic Individuals

877-4545

LOST & FOUND

GRANTS/PROGRAMS-2008!

Personal bills, School, 10.0 Timpone Surfboard Business/Housing. Approx. $49 billion unclaimed 2007! Almost everySurfboard in board one qualifies! Live operators1-800bag lost February 2nd 592-0362 Ext. 235. (AAN CAN)

LOST!

~ Honokowai ~

JEWELRY • DIAMONDS WATCHES • COINS COLORED STONES MUSICAL INSTRUMENTS SURF BOARDS

WEST MAUI GOLD 667-7689 1000 LIMAHANA PL. LAHAINA PETS DALMATIAN NEEDED LOOKING FOR MALE DALMATIAN FOR BREEDING. CALL 264-4587

YOUR HAWAII DEPARTMENT OF HEALTH Kihei-Mondays at Keolahou Church 11am-2pm. Wailuku-Monday thru Thursday at Wailuku Health Center 8:30 am-12pm. Paia-Wednesdays at Paia Community Center 12:30pm-3:00pm.

LahainaThursdays at Lahaina Comprehensive Health Center 9am-12pm. Results returned in 2 wks. Sponsored by State Dept. of Health, for more info call 984-2129 CREDIT REPAIR! Erase bad credit legally Money back Warranty. FREE Consultation & Information: 1.866.410.7676 www.nationalcreditbuilders.com (AAN CAN)

VACATION RENTALS

CLEAN, AFFORDABLE Accommodations in our vacation rental from $69 per day. Call Toll Free Wailuku Guesthouse 877-9868270 or www.wailukuhouse.com

Kaimana’s Beach Hale

at Baby Beach www.kaimanasbeachhale.com Special this month. $145-$195 a day. Your own private Ohana.

Continental breakfast served.

Full kitchen with espresso machine & D/W. Call 667-6968 for info.

SERVICES

CONSOLIDATE BILLS Good/bad credit Welcome. $2,500 - $200,000. No application fees.

FOR SALE Save Money Now! SOLUTIONS WAILUKU FOR ALL YOUR FINANCIAL Lowest priced 3bd/2ba home in NEEDS. 1-866-931-BILL (2455).

Kehalani subdivision. Single level http://www.PaylessSolutions.com home on a large, corner lot with a (AAN CAN) WHALES ARE BACK AND SO fenced back yard and West Maui ARE HEATED WETSUITS Mountain ocean views. $539,000 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 283Dive with SHAKA DIVERS in luxuri- 2222 Century 21 All Islands ous warmth this winter.

UPCOUNTRY SERVICE Professionally Guided SCUBA Tours MAINTENANCE and Lessons Daily 9 AM 2 PM & 5 Two Upcountry side-by-side half acre double building lots with three INSTALLATION PM Night Dives. Scooter Dives County water-meters and ocean Fast, Friendly, Reliable too! (808) 250-1234 Diving with views. Currently eligible to build 4 ‘Shaka~Doug’ is SHAKARIFIC! CALL STEVE houses and 2 ohanas. $798,000 808.757.1830 Josh Jerman, Broker (808) 2832222 Century 21 All Islands

REAL ESTATE

CLASSES & INSTRUCTION

Kihei Air Conditioning

MISCELLANEOUS

GOOD MEN THE LAST WAVE BY, HEAR MY CALL DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT RAGE AGAINST THE DYING OF THE LIGHT WWW.GODLIKEPRODUCTIONS.COM (AAN CAN)

TEXAS LAND LIQUIDATION!!

20 acres, near booming El Paso.

Good road access. Only $14,900, $200/down. $145 per/mo. Money back guarantee. No credit checks.

1-800-843-7537 http://www.sunsetranches.com (AAN CAN)

PACIFIC OHANA & VEA LANDSCAPING providing Landscaping, Tree trimming, Stonewalls and Concrete work. Licensed.

808-264-6997

your hair color!

Will work with any budget.

Kihei 276-3389 EXPRESS PRINTING FOR MAUI! BUSINESS CARDS, RACK CARDS, POSTCARDS AND MORE! ORDER ONLINE AT:

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ask for Tevita

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

35

Now Hiring Full-Time Split Shift & Part-Time: Transportation Security Officers Officers provide security and protection for air travelers, airports and aircraft.

Full-Time Split Shift (Kahului): Starting at $36,648 per year Plus Benefits Part-Time (Kahului): Starting at $17.56 per hour Plus Benefits (Includes 25% Cost of Living Allowance and 25% Retention Pay)

Full-Time Split Shift (Lanai): Starting at $30,235 per year Plus Benefits (Includes 23.75% Cost of Living Allowance) TSA will pay the maximum government contribution for health benefits under the TSA Health Benefit Incentive for part-time TSOs. All part-time TSOs will pay the same lower cost for federal health benefits as full-time employees.

Minimum Requirements: U.S. Citizenship or U.S. National • High school diploma, GED or equivalent, or one year of security or aviation screening experience • English proficiency • Pre-employment medical evaluation • Pass a background/credit check

Please apply online at: www.tsajobs.com 1-800-887-1895 • TTY: 1-800-887-5506

TSA is an Equal Opportunity Employer.

36

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

SIGNLANGUAGE

For Rent!

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Only 4 Houses from the Ocean!

CAERIEL CRESTIN SIGN.LANGUAGE.ASTROLOGY@GMAIL.COM

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Even you, with your above-average levels of patience and compassion, may find yourself tested this week. Even you can only take so much shit before you explode. Unfortunately, because you’re used to insensitive bores, and abnormally tolerant of them, you haven’t developed your brush-off and evasion skills as well as some of the rest of us. You need a partner-in-crime to help you prevent a scene. Find a Libra; they’re experts at avoiding confrontation. Failing that, grab a Leo and beg them to escort you to the nearest exit. At least that way, if you get caught, you’ll have someone who can roar louder than any of the folks you’re trying to avoid.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) I know it’s cliché, but if your life were an amusement park ride, it would definitely be a roller coaster.

Other people get to ride the kiddy train, enjoying a smooth, stress-free, predictable path from point A to point B. Some get stuck on the merry-go-round and never get anywhere. This week you can get off the ride you’re on and change it up for something else, but I wouldn’t, if I were you. Even though you might be sick of the tumultuous ups and downs, at the moment, I really don’t think you’d ultimately want it any other way (at least not for long).

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) You’ve got spiritual chicken pox. Don’t scratch that itch; it’ll leave a scar. Right now you’ve got to do what it takes to keep yourself from going there, because the consequences aren’t worth the brief satisfaction you’d get out of indulging yourself. Have someone bind your hands in oven mitts and duct tape.

Provide yourself with an endless stream of distractions so you don’t succumb to the urge to scratch yourself until you bleed. Eventually, in a week or two the temptation to scar yourself for a fleeting moment of pleasure will fade, and you’ll be able to remove the oven mitts and get on with your life—just not yet.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) You’re charming. This is both a strength and a weakness, I’m afraid. Your habit of turning up the volume on your charisma, when things aren’t quite going your way, is sometimes a bad one. Unfortunately, it’s had a lot of reinforcement over the years, since it almost always works. What’s the problem? This week, it won’t. Those your dealing with are immune to (or perhaps even averse to) charm. Because this has been your crutch, your available alternative tools are almost nonexistent. I’m afraid you’re going to have to do this directly. If you can prove you’re actually better than your competition, and not just betterlooking, you might still turn this the way you want it go.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) Forget revenge. Harboring thoughts or plans of vengeance, or worse, enacting them, would be way too damaging to your psyche, soul, and overall wellbeing. It may feel unthinkable to just let things go without getting in at least the last word, yet that is quite simply what you should do this week. Of course, you can go ahead and succumb to the temptation to lash out, one last time, at those who’ve wrong you, but don’t say you weren’t warned. This could be over now, if you let it be. Or it could haunt you for months or perhaps years. It’s your choice.

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LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) You know what a difference a tiny taste of hedonistic pleasure can make; you’re quick enough to reward yourself with these whenever you feel the need. It helps you get through the bullshit and suffering that so much of life is. It’s that spoonful of sugar that helps the medicine go down. Share your Leonine wisdom. Please stop watching someone else struggle with a difficult time without offering (or insisting) upon that little bit of pleasure that will make things so much better, or at least more bearable. It’s what you wish someone would do for you, isn’t it?

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) You’ve been hunting forever, and still you haven’t managed to trap your quarry. I’m sure it’s occurred to you that you may not even be looking in the right place, or using the right methods, but since you can’t think of anywhere else to look or any better way to go about it, you just keep soldiering on. Unfortunately, because of your energetic, determined, and exceedingly stubborn nature, it’s never even crossed your mind to give up. This is why you have friends and a friendly neighborhood astrologer—to tell you to. This is not going to happen. Give up. Stop wasting your time and use it for something that will actually do you good.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) You think you might find happiness in the bottom of that cup, which is why you keep overturning the thing, trying to find that last drop, but it’s just not there to be found, I’m afraid. I appreciate your willingness to follow this road to the very end of the line, but don’t be bitter that it didn’t go where you wanted it to. It’s time to wash the dishes, recycle the empty bottles, and look for serenity and joy elsewhere. You can’t say you didn’t try it this way. By now you ought to have definitive proof that it didn’t work. Are you really too stubborn to change things up, or can you be flexible enough to opt for something completely new?

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Don’t let yourself get derailed. It doesn’t happen to you often; usually your single-mindedness keeps you pretty much unshakably on track. Not this time, though. There are too many forces at work here for you to be able to rely on your usual levels of obsessiveness. Remember the other times you’ve floundered and gone astray from the path you’d chosen, and how long it took you to find it again. Your increased determination ought to help, but it might not be enough. If you think you might not be able to navigate at the moment, ask for help. I don’t think Jesus is about to take the wheel, but one of your friends might.

SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Don’t worry, you haven’t become boring, even if you’re going through a less-than-thrilling phase. You like to think of yourself as a wild one, which is why you’re more surprised than anyone when your desires run to the tame, the vanilla, and the safe. Just go with it. Even the wildest of daredevils needs a safe place to start from, before she hurls herself from a cliff or under a train. Maybe you just need a break. Or maybe this is the wind-up for a wilder adventure than you’ve so far been on. This could be the flat ground for your running start. Is it?

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) This week you have permission not to apologize (unless you’ve actually done something wrong). You don’t have to say you’re sorry for who you are, or for not being into something, or for your interests. It is what it is, and people who are intent on criticizing you for it had better get some better hobbies. You’re under a lot of scrutiny lately, and it’s not fair. I do hope you put yourself under the magnifying glass periodically, and check that what you’re doing is on the up and up, and good for you and yours. But that’s not anyone else’s business. Remember that this week, when people insist otherwise.

$975 plus deposit.

No Smoking / No Pets Available March 1, 2008 Now showing! Call Tommy at 283-0512

AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) What was up with all the drama this winter? Was it because people were cooped up with nothing better to do? I know you’re as relieved as I am that the temperature’s changing; hopefully we’ll see some variation in the emotional climate, too. However, just as Spring generally comes in heralded by stormy rains, there’s probably another tempestuous drama on your horizon as well. Weather it as well as you can, Aquarius, and do your best to minimize the fallout and damage. Stay strong and watch for the green shoots of new beginnings. They’re what will get you through Winter’s last few freak-outs.

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

37

EH

BRAH! TALK IS CHEAP

SEND YOUR EH BRAH TO ehbrah@mauitime.com

STOP RIGHT NOW!

& read this AD looking for Part-Time FREELANCE production/graphic designers The ideal candidate possesses at least two years experience in a publishing firm, agency or related field and wishes to work in an exciting, fast-paced, deadline-driven environment. You MUST have good design skills and an xcellent working knowledge of QuarkXpress, Photoshop and Illustrator.

You’ll be given an Digital Aptitude Test during the interview. We’re a Mac-based, wholly digital production environment. Working knowledge of QuarkXpress 6.5 is mandatory & familiarity with PDF workflows is an asset.

This is a PART-TIME job. We are very deadline driven with tight turnaround times. You MUST be able to work quickly, calmly and under PRESSURE. Reliable transportation is necessary. If you believe that you possess these qualifications, find this ad a little offensive—yet strangely attractive—enjoy stickin’ it to The MAN, detest corporate work environments, wish to work for Maui’s ONLY locally owned & independent newspaper and are able to start immediately, please EMAIL your resumé and 3 design samples in PDF format to: Travis@MauiTime.com

Production Office: 33 N. Market St., Suite 201 • Wailuku, HI 96793 “Dude, if I couldn’t lick my crotch, I would SOOOOO be after this job, it sounds RAD! – So, it’s your call, but if I were you...I’d either go get this killer job...or get serious about some hardcore yoga & come join me for an afternoon you’ll not soon forget!”

NOTE:

NO non-consensual licking occured during the creation of this ad & if you’re still reading this, you might want to apply? Just a thought.

38

FEBRUARY 28, 2008

MAUI TIME WEEKLY

RESTLESSNATIVE

BY STARR BEGLEY STARR@MAUITIME.COM

Home Sweet Home I have lived in 19 different houses–11 of them after I turned 18. I have a tendency to fall in love with a place and then–Poof!–circumstances shift and suddenly I’m packing up and moving on to another soon to be home sweet home.

I can’t explain it, beyond that I have “commitment issues.” I’m sure a therapist would love to charge me the equivalent of what my liver would get on the black market to explain why I can’t stay put.

My friends and family are never surprised when I bail unexpectedly on something. When I stick it out, they wonder about my mental state. On the other hand, being someone who lies to herself frequently, I’m always shocked when I discover that I’m a world-class flake.

But the tides are changing and I seem to be settling down. Maybe I’ve finally found someone capable of domesticating my feral tendencies.

Even though things are good, sometimes I still get this adrenaline dump and want to bolt straight out of my tidy, happy life and make a big mess of things.

I’m not dumb enough to act on the impulse, but it’s still there.

Sure, I spent the last decade playing musical chairs with relationships, houses and jobs while the rest of my generation was in school and building their resumes. And it’s put me way behind.

This is never more evident than when it comes to the whole buying a home fiasco plaguing the hubby and I. Pretty much everyone that we know in our age group has bought a home. Including my baby brother, which totally pisses me off.

Right now, we pay the mortgage on the property my late father-in-law left to his (second) wife when he (unexpectedly) passed away. The hubby and his sisters will get the property after my late father-in-law’s (second) wife dies. She’s in good health, so I’m thinking it could be a while.

We’ve thought about finding a way to buy the property from her so we don’t have to wait until we’re hunched over and gray before becoming property owners. Plus, we can’t have a pet as long as she owns the place and 30 years is a long time to go without canine companionship. But then again, why buy something you’ll eventually inherit?

So we’ve been looking around. This past week, my best friend called and told us about the perfect place. The problem is that in the past six months, lenders have been cracking down because of all the dip-shits that defaulted on their zerodown loans. Did I mention we’re a gagillion dollars in debt? But still, if it wasn’t for the dip-shits…

This weekend we’re going to a showing of the property where, according to our real estate agent, “people will probably be making offers right then and there.”

Wonderful! Not. In our financially sinking boat, pining over a competitive listing feels like being the fat kid in a 3,200-meter race.

“Think about it this way,” my best friend–who, coincidentally, is interested in the property next door to our listing–said during one of many frantic calls discussing real estate. “We’re both happy where we are and even if we don’t get the place this time there will be other opportunities.”

She’s right. But we’re still both going full blast casting Podagee/Puerto Rican spells pertaining to home-ownership.

However it happens.

Starr Begley always forgets to disclose that she’s had 36 jobs on her resume. MTW

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Maui’s #1 Whalewatch Choice One winner selected at random weekly TERMS & CONDITIONS: By texting “WHALE” to 21321 you are entering a contest. You will receive a one time message & correspondence from Pacific Whale Foundation via phone should you win. Standard text messaging rates apply.

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