16.35 Maui''s Most Romantic Places, February 14, 2013, Volume 16, Issue 35, MauiTime

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MAUI’S MOST

ROMANTIC

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STEVEN TYLER'S

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ERIN

LOVE FEST

SMITH

YIPPEE

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MOOSE KNUCKLE

STEVEN TYLER

TALKS

PLUS

PLACES

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FEBRUARY 14, 2013

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VOLUME 16

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ISSUE 35

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BY READERS LIKE YOU January J Ja anuary 31, 2013 ✚ Volume Volu l me 16 ✚ Issue Is ss su ue 33 ✚ FREE FREE FR

COVER: February 14, 2013 ✚ Volume 16 ✚ Issue 35 ✚ FREE

Publisher: Tommy Russo (808) 283-0512 / tommy@mauitime.com @tommyrusso on Twitter Phillip Garrido Editor: Anthony Pignataro (808) 283-1308 / anthony@mauitime.com @apignataro on Twitter Father Guido Sarducci

MAUI’S MOST

ROMANTIC

Contributors: Caeriel Crestin, Jory John, Avery Monsen, Ron Pitts, Chuck Shepherd, Barry Wurst II Photographer: Sean Michael Hower mauiweddingmedias.com / howerphotography.com Guy who invented Pope on a Rope Advertising Executive: Brad Chambers (808) 283-3260 / brad@mauitime.com Sinead O’Connor

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KI YAY

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ERIN

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Admin. Executive: Keo Eaton (808) 244-0777 Jay Z Calendar Assistant: Jenna Schamber calendar@mauitime.com George Carlin Proofreader: Dina Wilson The highest ranked nun in Rome Admin Assistants: Sara Riley, Jennifer Brown (Albert Brooks) (808) 244-0777 Interns: Axel Beers, Sarah Gerlach, Lauren Hecker, Marina Satoafaiga

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WAILUKU REDEVELOPMENT Thanks Anthony for a well written, factual and fair report (“Small Town Life,” Feb. 7, 2013). I think you represented well our thoughts and intensions, which I appreciate.

Only two things I read were a little off.

When discussing Iao Plaza; the intent was for overflow theater crowds (not parking) in the plaza, and police parking in the new lot or the street (also not in the plaza).

Otherwise, awesome!

-Katherine Popenuk, Maui Redevelopment Agency, via email MauiTime is published every Thursday by MauiTime Productions, Inc. Its contents are Copyright © 2013 by MauiTime Productions, Inc. All rights reserved. Subscriptions are available at $70 per year.

Reproduction or use without permission is strictly prohibited. MauiTime may be distributed only by MauiTime’s authorized independent contractor. MauiTime is valued at $.50 per copy and permits one complimentary copy per person. No person may, without written permission of MauiTime, take more than one copy of each weekly issue. All opinions expressed throughout MauiTime are those of the authors and not necessarily the same opinions as MauiTime Productions, Inc. and MauiTime.

MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 office (808) 244-0777 • fax (808) 244-0446 www.mauitime.com @mauitime on Twitter Deadlines: Display Advertising: Friday Noon Classified: Monday 4pm Calendar: Monday Noon Circulation: 18,000 copies of MauiTime

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PARK RESTROOMS REVIEW

Graphic Designers: Amy Mendolia (Chuck Norris), Jenny Greene (Yoda)

SMITH

STUDIOS

Art Director & Production Manager: Darris Hurst artdirector@mauitime.com / darrishurst.com Ellen DeGeneres

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MOOSE KNUCKLE

Culinary, Lifestyle & Business Editor: Jennifer Russo (808) 280-3286 / jen@mauitime.com @jenrusso on Twitter Charlie Manson

LOVE FEST

TALKS

PLUS

PLACES STEVEN TYLER

“Aloha Wave” a BeWChee collaboration with Beth Warmath & CHEETA Chad Ruis. cheetastyle.com facebook.com/cheeta.art Cover design by Darris Hurst

WARM

Who should be the next Pope?

PLUS

THIS WEEK’S QUESTION:

behind what the logo means? Where is the vision for a new Wailuku Town that thrives with a new economy and new JOBS. Diversified JOBS. Why aren’t we seeing new ideas for real change from the Office Of Economic Development? We need a plan. We need leadership. Not same status as always. A little bit of dis a little bit of that doesn’t cut it.

We should be proud and Wailuku Town should be a destination all the time, not just once a month. Where is the leadership?

Where are the JOBS?

Wailuku Town has so much potential– but that potential will never be fulfilled unless there is real leadership. Parking issues? For what, da pawn shops?

A new logo? What is the substance

RESTROOM TALK These bathrooms are a disgrace, including the one at Wailea (“Going to the Toilet,” Jan. 31, 2013). What a great impression the world must have of the legendary vacation spot known as Maui. Shameful.

-Anonymous, via MauiTime.com How great is our lives... to be able to complain about public facilities not being clean. Could it be that just the sheer overuse could cause there to be a mess? There are a few bathrooms that need repair and face lifts, but who put that graffiti on that wall, or broke that stall door, or took wads of toilet paper and hand towels just to clog toilets and make spitballs. People rip off or break soap dispensers off the wall the same day they’re put in. If we’re left with bare basics in a public restroom then there’s no one to blame [but] ourselves.

-Anonymous, via MauiTime.com

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editor@mauitime.com, MauiTime 33 N. Market St., Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793, twitter.com/mauitime, or facebook.com/mauitime.

We reserve the right to edit feedback. Views expressed do not necessarily reflect those of MauiTime.

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QUIZunderstood 1. Though he says he didn’t ask for a raise, Maui County Mayor Alan Arakawa is getting one, according to a Feb. 9 story in The Maui News. The story says the Maui County Salary Commission has recommended that he get a 19 percent raise, which will finally give him the biggest salary in county government. What is his new proposed salary?

A. $114,030.

B. $120,450.

C. $128, 256.

D. $135,696.

E. $140,136.

2.

The new 15-acre Andaz Maui at Wailea resort will open this summer, according to a Feb. 7 Pacific Business News post. The resort will have 297 rooms, a giant spa, shops, a private adults-only pool and Iron Chef Morimoto’s second Hawaii restaurant. According to PBN, what was the cost of redeveloping the property into the Andaz (until 2007 it was the Renaissance Wailea Beach Resort)?

A. $100 million.

B. $90 million.

C. $80 million.

D. $70 million.

E. $60 million.

3. At its Feb. 7 hearing at the Courtyard Maui Kahului Airport hotel, the state Land Use Commission (LUC) took up the matter of Eclipse Development Group’s plans for 700,000 square feet of retail and Honua‘ula Partners’ proposal for 250 affordable homes, all in North Kihei. According to the Feb. 8 Maui News, what did the LUC decide to do?

A. Rule only that the project met the conditions imposed by the LUC back in 1995.

B. Rule only that the project did not meet the conditions imposed by the LUC back in 1995.

C. Rule that because the project did not meet the conditions imposed by the LUC back in 1995, the project was dead.

D. Rule that even though the project did not meet the conditions imposed by the LUC back in 1995, it could still go further.

E. Defer the whole thing until its next meeting, which hasn’t been scheduled yet.

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News & Views

Coconut Wireless

Talk of the Island

BY ANTHONY PIGNATARO That’s right–the stars of The Osbournes, the MTV reality show that ran from 2002 to 2005–all whined to our state legislators about protecting their privacy rights (though it was nice to see that Ozzy’s stationery includes a little cartoon of himself holding a

men or dangerous high-speed car chases.”

See? Don’t you feel better now? Who cares that legislators are lining up to pass a bill that will never pass muster with either the state or U.S. Constitution (or, for that matter, that the Hawaii AG’s office says there’s no evidence that any celebrities have ever been deterred from moving to Hawaii because of paparazzi).

What difference does it make if the celebs who signed support letters are just craven hypocrites who need fame to survive in the same way we need food and air?

They just want to spend the money they made being famous (helped, in large part, by paparazzi photos) to buy homes here and vacation here. Then, if we’re lucky, they’ll smile and drop coins in our palms when we serve their whims.

Hip, Hip–Hurrah!

GMO LABELING BILL MOVES ON

No photographs!

just as much). Anyway, the following celebs, rock stars and has-beens all signed this absurd, hypocritical SB465 support letter: • Mick Fleetwood • Tommy Lee • Britney Spears • Avril Lavigne • Neil Diamond • Katherine von Drachenberg (“Kat von D”) • Margaret Cho • Fred Coury of Cinderella (who apparently felt compelled to sign his letter “Fred Coury of Cinderella” because, presumably, people otherwise wouldn’t know who he was) • Frankie Banali (Quiet Riot–see above) • Darren “Dizzy” Reed of Guns N’ Roses Et tu, Margaret? After we put you on our Feb. 7 cover? For shame!

But what really cuts is the fact that Sharon, Kelly, Jack and Ozzy Osbourne all signed the same letter in support of the bill.

cross that bears the name “OZZY”).

Of course, Aimee Osbourne–Ozzy and Sharon’s other daughter who long ago refused to participate in The Osbournes TV show because, she said, it was so intrusive–did NOT submit any testimony for or against the Steven Tyler Act. But hey! Relax! This isn’t about the First Amendment. It’s about getting rich and famous people to buy expensive homes here–homes locals could never afford. And the celebs are perfectly willing to do this, if the state Legislature first helps them out.

And the celebs’ letter in support of SB465 makes this perfectly, nakedly clear: “Providing a remedy to the often-egregious acts of the paparazzi is a very notable incentive to purchase property or vacation on the islands,” states the celebs’ support statement. “Not only would this help the local economy, but it would also help ensure the safety of the general public, which can be threatened by crowds of camera-

Overheard “The only reason I watch a movie is because I read the book. I figure I might as well watch the movie.”

-Woman at the Fairmont Kea Lani, Feb. 8

On the brighter side, HB174, which mandates the labeling of foods that contain genetically modified organisms (GMOs), is moving steadily through the state House of Representatives. The same day the Senate Judiciary Committee passed

PHOTO BY ILLUMINATING9_11 ON FLICKR

As anyone who’s watched five minutes of C-SPAN should know, there was nothing in the least surprising last Friday about the Senate Judiciary and Labor Committee’s passing of SB465–the so-called “Steven Tyler Act.” The news was abuzz Friday morning when Steven Tyler himself testified before the committee on the bill (which the Associated Press reported was largely written

by Dina LaPolt, Tyler’s attorney) that would criminalize the taking of photos of famous persons, even if such persons were in public areas.

You think the good senators are going to trash can the bill (introduced by Maui’s own Senator J. Kalani English) when Tyler and fellow aged rocker Mick Fleetwood show up in person in the Capitol and spend some pre-hearing time posing for deliciously un-ironic photos with those same good senators?

Never mind that the state Attorney General’s office opposes the bill, saying it’s “vague and overly broad.” The Motion Picture Association of America (MPAA), which represents television news organizations, also opposes the bill, calling it “vague and ambiguous” and says it “abridges the right of free speech.”

“Proponents of the legislation assert that aggressive paparazzi are causing harm, and that this legislation will curb that behavior,” states the MPAA’s official testimony against the bill. “However, police already have the power to ensure that public streets and sidewalks are open and not blocked to vehicular and pedestrian traffic. And there are ample common law remedies for invasion of privacy, including obtaining an injunction against conduct that menaces or harasses another.”

But most of the testimony submitted so far has been in support of SB465. And, you guessed it, the support is all from celebrities.

What’s more, it’s virtually all the same, identical support, in the form of the same, identical letter. A whole bunch of celebs submitted the same love letter to SB465, which contains the following language: “As you know, Hawaii is a beautiful state known worldwide as a peaceful oasis far removed from the nonstop activity on the mainland. This tranquility is being violated by paparazzi who use high tech equipment or engage in high-speed car chases to capture celebrities’ most private moments from unprecedented distances and sell those images or recordings for exorbitant sums of money.”

See? The poor rich and famous of the world–who require fame and publicity, as long as it’s on their terms–just want Hawaii to be their “oasis” from the terrible Mainland that funds their lives. Never mind that people actually live in Hawaii, people with the same rights guaranteed under the U.S. Constitution as they have. Hawaii is just a playground to the celebs, a place for shore

leave before they have to return to the everyday grind of being famous.

Seriously, celebs need the press, and they need paparazzi, just like we need them (and as anyone who sees the long list of tags at the bottom of this post knows, we need them

PHOTO WIKIMEDIA BY KEVIN BURKETT

STEVEN TYLER ACT SAILING ALONG

Mmm... GMO corn...

Tyler’s bill, the House Ag Committee passed the GMO labeling bill.

“This was the first time in the history of the House that a GMO labeling bill has made it out of committee,” said Committee Chairwoman Jessica Wooley in a Feb. 8 press release. “The draft that was adopted was a true compromise that resulted in a victory for the people of Hawaii. Local farmers will not be negatively impacted, we will not have to pay for labeling on processed foods, meat or dairy, and, most importantly, people will be able to know what they’re eating.” ■ anthony@mauitime.com + @apignataro To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1635n1

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News & Views

MauiSphere

LOCAL PLUGS

BY AXEL BEERS

WORLD’S OLDEST BIRD STILL GOING STRONG

PHOTO BY JEFF KUBINA

MAUI COUNTY GETS SUSTAINABLE DEVELOPMENT HELP FROM EPA On Feb. 7 Hawaii’s U.S. Senators Brian Schatz and Mazie Hirono, along with freshman 2nd District Congresswoman Tulsi Gabbard, announced that the County of Maui has won a technical assistance grant from the U.S. Environmental Protection Agency (EPA), as part of the agency’s Building Blocks for Sustainable Communities program. Maui County was one of 43 communities selected from 121 applicants. Winners were chosen by the EPA in consultation with the U.S. Department of Housing and Urban Development (HUD), the U.S. Department of Transportation (DOT) and the U.S. Department of Agriculture.

Maui has been the site of major development in the past decades and there are no signs that the future will be any different. The EPA assistance aims to help manage Maui’s growth in “a way that encourages local economic development while protecting the environment and preserving Maui’s unique character,” states the Feb. 7 press release on the grant.

“EPA’s technical assistance will help the County of Maui make smart planning choices to protect the way of life on Maui while building a foundation for sustained economic growth in the decades to come,” says a statement from Schatz. “Managing growth in a way that is economically and environmentally sustainable is critical for Hawaii’s future. I congratulate Mayor Arakawa and the County of Maui.”

Given all the proposed development in West Maui, Kihei and Kahului, to say nothing of the giant Olowalu town that’s going in, it looks like the Building Blocks for Sustainable Communi-

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PHOTO COURTESY MIDWAY ATOLL NATIONAL WILDLIFE REFUGE

The world’s oldest known wild bird, named Wisdom, has hatched another chick on the Midway Atoll National Wildlife Refuge. The new addition to the refuge’s Laysan albatross population was first observed by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service biologist Pete Leary on Feb. 3, some 57 years after Wisdom was first banded while incubating an egg in the same area.

Biologists estimated that Wisdom was at least five years old when she laid her first egg back in 1956, given that this is the earliest age when Laysan albatross can breed. But these birds typically breed at eight or nine years of age (following a very involved courtSolar-powered sustainable house in Spain ship lasting several years), so it’s possible Wisdom may be older than 62, her current estimated age. ties has its work cut out for them.

Bruce Peterjohn, chief of the North “Sustainability is an imperative for HaAmerican Bird Banding Program at the waii–it is the right thing to do and it is USGS Patuxent Wildlife Research Center essential for the future and security of all in Laurel, MD, estimates that Wisdom has of our communities,” says Gabbard in a raised at least 30-35 chicks. Albatross lay press release on the grant money. “Cononly one egg a year, and then spend much servation of our land and protection of of the year incubating the egg and raisour water supply is critical, and we must ing the hatchling. After raising and fledgmake investments now to maintain our ing the chick, parents have been known quality of life and economy. This grant to take the next year off, possibly to sip assistance from the Environmental ProMai Tais in their empty nests or travel. tection Agency will help the County of “Almost as amazing as being a parent at Maui promote responsible growth while 62 is the number of miles Wisdom has likely preserving its precious rural land.” logged–about 50,000 miles a year as an The Feb. 7 statement outlines the more adult–which means that Wisdom has flown at specific goals of the program in the county. least two million to three million miles since “The County of Maui will receive assistance to create a green streets strategy and develop sustainability strategies for small towns and rural areas,” it says. “Green streets capture and filter stormwater runoff with vegetation and soils instead of moving water in underground pipe networks. A green street decreases water pollution while beautifying neighborhoods with additional vegetation and also helps reduce flooding. The assistance for Maui’s small towns and rural areas will explore potential code changes that promote walkable communities and encourage investment in existing neighborhoods while preserving rural land and open space.”

More information on the Building Blocks for Sustainable Communities program can be found at Epa.gov/smartgrowth/ buildingblocks.htm. There’s info about the Partnership for Sustainable Communities is at Sustainablecommunities.gov.

she was first banded,” stated a Feb. 7 press release from the Papahanaumokuakea Marine National Monument, of which the Midway refuge is part. “Or, to put it another way, that’s four to six trips from the Earth to the Moon and back again, with plenty of miles to spare... Albatross are remarkable fliers who are able to travel thousands of miles on wind currents without ever flapping their wings.”

Nineteen of the 21 species of albatross are threatened species according to the International Union for the Conservation of Nature. Threats to the birds’ survival include longline fishing, marine debris, invasive species and poisoning from the leadbased paints used over the last decades.

“It is beyond words to describe the amazing accomplishments of this wonderful bird and how she demonstrates the value of bird banding to better understand the world around us,” said Peterjohn. “If she were human, she would be eligible for Medicare in a couple years yet she is still regularly raising young and annually circumnavigating the Pacific Ocean. Simply incredible.”

Midway Atoll NWR hosts the world’s largest albatross colony, which is monitored by U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service staff and volunteers. Elsewhere, Ka’ena Point Natural Area Reserve, managed by the State of Hawaii Department of Land and Natural Resources, hosts the only nesting Laysan albatross colony on Oahu and offers hikers the opportunity to observe the seabirds from a distance as they tend to this season’s newly hatched chicks.

For more information, visit Papahanaumokuakea.gov or Fws.gov. ■

Wisdom and her mate

FEBRUARY 14, 2013

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ONE FOR THE ROAD The Kerry, Ireland, county council voted in January to let some people drive drunk. The councillors reasoned that in the county’s isolated regions, some seniors live alone and need the camaraderie of the pub, but fear a DUI arrest on the way home. The councillors thus empowered police to issue DUI permits to those targeted drivers.

Besides, reasoned the councillors, the area is so sparsely populated that such drivers never encounter anyone else on the road at night. (The councillors’ beneficence might also have been influenced, reported BBC News, by the fact that “several” of the five voting “yea” own pubs.)

SPARE THE WATERBOARD, SPOIL THE CHILD William Province, 42, was arrested in Jefferson County, Mont., in December and charged with waterboarding four boys, two of whom were his own sons, at his home in December. (Also in January, Kirill Bartashevitch, 52, was charged with making “terroristic” threats to his high-schoolage daughter after he allegedly pointed his new AK-47 at her because her report card showed two B’s instead of all A’s. He said he had recently purchased the gun because he feared that President Barack Obama intended to ban them.)

KIDS THESE DAYS Emma Whittington, of Hutchinson, Kan., rushed her daughter to the ER in December when the girl, seven months old, developed a golf-ball-sized lump on her neck. Two days later, at a hospital in Wichita, a doctor gently pulled a feather out of the lump and hypothesized that it had been in the midst of emerging from her throat. Doctors said the girl probably swallowed the feather accidentally, that it got stuck in throat tissue, and that her body was trying to eject it through the skin.

GREAT TSA FINDS As if 9/11 and the resultant air travel restrictions had never happened, travelers for some reason continue to keep Transportation Security Administration agents busy at passengers’ carry-on bag searches.

From a TSA weekly summary of confiscations in January: 33 handguns, eight stun guns and a serrated wire garrote. Among highlights from 2012: a live 40mm grenade, a live blasting cap, “seal bombs” and six pounds of black powder (with detonation cords and a timing fuse).

JUROR MISCONDUCT A man with admittedly limited English skills went to a courthouse in Springfield, Mass., in December to address a traffic ticket, but somehow wound up on a jury trying Donald Campbell on two counts of assault. Officials said the man simply got in the wrong line and followed jurors

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FEBRUARY 14, 2013

into a room while the real sixth juror had mistakenly gone to another room. The jury, including the accidental juror, found Campbell guilty, but he was awarded a new trial when the mistake was discovered.

REDNECK CHRONICLES (TENNESSEE EDITION) Timothy Crabtree, 45, of Rogersville, was arrested in October and charged with stabbing his son, Brandon, 21, in an argument over who would get the last beer in the house. And Tricia Moody, 26, was charged with DUI in Knoxville in January after a 10-minute police chase. The officer’s report noted that Moody was still holding a cup of beer and apparently had not spilled any during the chase.

NEWS THAT SOUNDS LIKE A JOKE Twin brothers Aric Hale and Sean Hale, 28, were both arrested on New Year’s Eve in Manchester, Conn., after fighting each other at a hotel and later at a residence. Police said a 27-year-old woman was openly dating the two men, and that Sean thought it was his turn and asked Aric for privacy. Aric begged to differ about whose turn it was.

UNCLEAR ON THE CONCEPT Voted in December as vice presidents of the U.N. Human Rights Council for 2013 were the nations of Mauritania and the Maldives, both of which permit the death penalty for renouncing Islam. In Mauritania, a person so charged has three days to repent for a lesser sentence. An August 2012 dispatch in London’s The Guardian reported widespread acceptance of slavery conditions in Mauritania, affecting as many as 800,000 of the 3.5 million population. Said one abolitionist leader, “Today we have the slavery [that]American plantation owners dreamed of [in that the slaves] believe their condition is necessary to get to paradise.”

BEST AND THE BRIGHTEST In December, the St. Louis Post-Dispatch revealed, through a public records check, that the appointed Collector of Revenue for St. Louis County has since 2008 failed to pay personal property taxes. Stacy Bailey and her husband owe taxes on three cars and in fact filed for bankruptcy in 2011.

Bailey’s boss, Director of Revenue Eugene Leung, told the Dispatch that he had checked Bailey’s real-estate tax status but not personal property taxes. Nonetheless, he said, “Knowing what I know now, she’s still the most qualified person for the job,” among the 155 applicants.■ chuck@mauitime.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1635n3

YOUR SCION NO HAGGLE, NO HASSLE. Send anonymous thanks, confessions or accusations, 200 words or less (which we reserve the right to edit), changing or deleting the names of the guilty and innocent, to “Eh Brah!” c/o MauiTime, 33 N. Market St, Ste. 201, Wailuku, HI 96793 or send an e-mail to

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MAUI BLACKIE’S JAZZ EVENT 2013 SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 23RD, 2013

Sara Gadarian, Gene Argel, Blackie Gadarian When: Saturday February 23, 2013 • 7-10PM Where: Alii Room, Royal Lahaina Resort

Kaanapali, Maui Gene Argel – Hammond B3 organ/vocals Sal Godinez – Keyboard & vocals Eric Schneider – Special Guest - Saxophone Michael Buono – Drums Shiro Mori – Guitar Doug White – Bass Hosts: Blackie and Sara Gadarian Who:

FOR TICKETS CALL:

Eric Schneider

Sal Godinez

An evening of Straight-Ahead Jazz, the way it was at Blackie´s Bar in Lahaina (1981-1995) Jazz & Dancing Too! 21+

Cost: $20 Advance tickets Capacity is limited. No reserved seating.

Doors open at 6:45PM for Advance Ticket holders.

Cocktails & Appetizers available for purchase (After 7:00PM - day of event - tickets at the door for standing room only - $25 cash)

808.667.7979 OR GO TO www.MAUIBLACKIE.com FEBRUARY 14, 2013

9

WE CHOOSE MAUI’S MOST

ROMANTIC PLACES 10 FEBRUARY 14, 2013

L

ast week, the not very romantically named Society of American Travel Writers (SATW) saw fit to crown Maui the preeminent of 10 “lesser-known (but just as engaging!) wedding proposal sites in the U.S. and Canada.”

“There’s nothing better than warm weather to beat the winter cold, and the Road to Hana in Maui offers lush rainforest, beaches, numerous waterfalls, and plenty of privacy,” the group announced on Feb. 7. “Considered one of the world’s most beautiful drives, the coastal road lets travelers take in the scenery via guided tours and overnight stays.”

Yeah, we guess the road to Hana is kinda romantic, if you like driving at slow speeds around hairpin turns and don’t get car-sick. Then again, Maui is always popping up on someone’s list of the most romantic islands or best places to pop the question or so forth. There must be something about colorful sunsets, soft sea breezes, swaying palms and white sand beaches that couples find attractive.

Of course, naming this or that spot on the island “the most romantic” is highly subjective. It depends on who you’re with, or were with. The fried chicken counter at Minit Spot can be the most romantic location on Maui–if that’s where you met the love of your life.

Keeping that in mind, the staff at MauiTime decided to honor Valentines Day this year by giving you our personal choices of where romance, for us, blooms on the island.

I think the most romantic place on Maui is the road to Ulupalakua. There’s cool air there, green grass and beautiful Bougainvilleas that line the road.

The views are incredible. You can see the whole island from there–you can see the neck of Maui, and both coasts. You can stop on the side of the road, chill, walk around and check out the gorgeous views.

-Keo Eaton

There’s a little beach that’s on the road in Makena. You go past Big Beach, and you come up to a brick wall. There’s a truck beyond it a little ways that sells tacos, but it’s not Jawz. There’s a little cutaway in the wall that says Beach Access. Some call it Secret Beach, but it has a lot of names, I guess. Anyway, you go through that opening, and you see the rocks and cove and the waves coming in onto the sand, and it’s like you’re stepping into a postcard. That’s the most romantic beach on Maui.

-Ron Pitts

Lahaina has the most exquisite sunsets I’ve ever experienced. One of the most romantic nights of my life was with my wife, as we sat down nearby the Lahaina library and watched the sun go down. Nearby, a couple locals were playing their ukuleles as the sky grew a vibrant orange. Every time we’re in Lahaina, we make sure to be on the boardwalk as the day turns to night. The boardwalk across from Front Street, facing the ocean, is a perfect spot for proposals, stolen kisses and holding someone close as you watch the best show on earth.

-Barry Wurst II

Romance is anywhere with someone you love, but a favorite romantic spot that comes to mind is spending a Wednesday evening (to the wee hours of Thursday morning) at Ladies Night at Casanova Italian Restaurant in Makawao. Start the night off sharing a woodfired pizza and bottle of wine at a candlelit table in their romantic dining atmosphere and end it with your partner in crime on the dance floor as DJ Kurt throws down the sexy club beats. Maybe I’m a little biased because I met my boyfriend there a year ago. Either way, you’re in for a romantic treat.

-Jenna Schamber

I’m not a Valentine’s Day person, but the Ali‘i’s Kula Lavender farm has sweet smells, gorgeous views and patches filled with flowers.

Stop at the shop for a snack and maybe even an oil or bath product for later, if you’re lucky (but don’t push your luck if it’s an early date; stick to picking flowers and maybe a scone). Upcountry is filled with excellent restaurants and isolated spots. Bring a blanket and stargaze in one of Maui’s least light-polluted areas. And remember: if your partner says he or she is cold, take the hint and hold a hand. Move in closer or prove that chivalry isn’t dead by offering a jacket. But please: no making out in front of the giant Buddha statue, lovebirds. I think that’s the fifth Noble Truth.

-Axel Beers

For me, the most romantic spot on Maui is probably that tiny beach fronting the Te Au Moana luau on the Wailea beach path. My girlfriend and I were walking down the path one night around sunset and stopped to see a portion of the luau. But our gaze, as is perhaps inevitable, migrated over to the ocean, where we saw a few green sea turtle heads bobbing in the shallows. Stepping down to the water’s edge, we stood there in silence as the turtles fed. As the attention of everyone else on the path was squarely fixed on the luau, we quickly realized we were the only ones paying any attention to the turtles. We’ve returned to that spot a few times, usually at sunset in hopes of capturing such a moment again, but so far the turtles reside only in our memories.

-Anthony Pignataro

One of my favorite romantic spots on Maui would have to be the Sugarman Estate in Makena. I’ve attended a few weddings on the property and it just exudes island romance. I think we all agree anything oceanfront equates deserted island mystique. Whether it’s convenient access to the ocean or the quaint cottage that sits on the property, or even the cozy road that leads to the estate, there is something storybook about the whole place.

-Marina Satoafaiga

Far be it for me to expose myself as some sappy romantic–I’m more like to find romance in a glass of iced tequila than anything else. But if I must sheath my cynicism in some romantic delusion, it has to be the rocky reaches below Kanaio, found via the horse trails of the Triple L Ranch, the late Louis Bully DePonte’s stomping grounds. The whole area, naturally arid and untouched by developers, harkens back to eras hundreds of years ago when visible skin was too risqué to creep out of your clothes and ladies had to ride horseback with their knees locked together, lest they get too lusty. Even these days you can’t drive down, as there are no public roadways. Your only viable option is by putting a horse from Triple L Ranch between your legs. The horses aren’t your usual trail trudgers–they roam the grassy hills wild at Triple L when not called upon for their duties–and their spunk is a welcome addition to the adventure. When you reach the onyx ocean from the rigorous ride down the mountain, you’re treated to the natural wonder that is miles of salt and pepper shoreline made from bleached coral rocks stacked atop scorched cinder rock lava. Views of the Big Island are breathtaking. There’s no asphalt, no buildings, no sign of any modern industrial life, save for the occasional tiny white speck of a boat on the horizon. You can’t help but breathe in a different life, far from the bourgeoisie bustle, that’s foreign and sexy.

Signs indicate the ancient King Kamehameha’s path around the island, with lava rocks carefully placed so a person could still walk barefoot centuries later. My only wish is that the tour guide would beat it so I could really ride their stallion.

-Jen Russo ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1634L

“Aloha Wave” painted by BeWChee art. cheetastyle.com • facebook.com/cheetaart

FEBRUARY 14, 2013

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Food & Drink

Go Red Garden Party Island Girl Pin-Ups teams up with American Heart Association to help your ticker

PHOTO BY JESICA PEARL

BY JEN RUSSO

Pin-ups need healthy hearts, too

T

here’s more to proper heart health than simply pumping blood through veins. There’s ephemeral love that makes the heart soar, passions that our hearts beat and senses that gorge the heart. In honor of all the things that nourish heart health, the American Heart Association is teaming up with Island Girl Pin-Ups for a Go Red Garden Party fundraising fun event this Saturday that will feature art, beauty, gourmet food, farm fresh drinks and “Go Red” activities on the gorgeous Sugarman Estate in Makena from 11am to 3pm.

“Heart health is also feeling good about your self, not only physically staying fit,” says Pomai Weigert of the Hawaii AgriTourism Association, who is co-producing this event. “We wanted to create a different kind of event than Maui has seen. This is a party with a purpose. I'm hoping this will turn that light on inside and give people a burst of inspiration to love themselves while taking part in their heart health, too.”

Part of the day centers around five interactive, theatrical art installations, where you can jump into the action with the help of the hair and makeup team from Island Girl Pin Ups and Rutz Salon. Featured stylists are Karli Rose, Linda Herberger, Danny Joe DeYott, Katherine Day, and Anna Ramires who will make up lips and air brush cheeks while Maui wig expert Linda Gallagher will run a wig station where you can transform yourself, even if just for a single snapshot.The installations, themed “cowgirls,” “jazz singers,” “USO girls,” “housewife” and “fairy fantasy,” will be staffed by pin-up models.You can also jump in and get your picture

taken with them, thanks to Natalie Brown Photography and Wailea Photography.

“I just combined all my favorite things– fashion, art, music and food as my inspiration for this Garden Party,” says Katherine Day of Island Pin-Ups. “All in the name of a great cause: the American Heart Association. I have a dream team of the small local businesses I love and support as well. We would love for everyone to come dressed in their favorite garden dresses or pin-up wear in red for the ‘Go Red’ theme. Having a great time with friends makes all our hearts happy and healthy.”

Go Red is an American Heart Association

(AHA) national campaign to raise awareness of heart disease in women. It’s the numberone killer of adult females in America, affecting more women than men, and fails to discriminate young from old. There are plenty of misconceptions–only chest pain indicates symptoms and fitness fanatics don’t have anything to worry about, are two common ones. AHA peeps will staff the party to get you up to speed on blood pumping health–even how to incorporate stuff we love like wine and chocolate into a heart-healthy diet. AHA will also have a survivor gallery, true stories from battles of the heart.

Three’s Bar and Grill should be the star of the show, serving an amazing spread. The food is light and vegetarian-friendly with gazpacho embellished with a lime creme fraiche. There will also be refreshing Thai basil avocado salsa with purple potato crisps. Then there’s a twist on the Caprese salad, with the combination of tomato, mozzarella, pohole fern, mushroom and eggplants. Wailuku Coffee Company will quench thirst with coveted iced toddy coffee and country club iced teas.

“You can look forward to three beautiful women serving our drinks, and our out-ofthis-world delicious low-fat brownies made with applesauce, mouth-watering bran blueberry muffins and heart-shaped Wheat Wheat Maple Scones,” says Megan Childers, owner of Wailuku Coffee Company. “These are all our in-house recipes and they are amazing.”

The event has also partnered with Maui County Farm Bureau to get succulent Kula strawberries for a signature Go Red drink with effervescence and fresh lime juice.

For more information check out their Facebook page at Facebook.com/mauigored.You can also stop in at Wailuku Coffee Company and purchase your tickets in person ($55) or go online at Goredticket.eventbrite.com. Event parking is at Mulligan's on the Blue, where shuttles will take you to the estate.You can get tickets at Mulligan's the day of for $60. ■ jen@mauitime.com + @jenrusso For more foodie news, visit MauiTime’s food blog at: mauidish.com

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Art & Entertainment

Erin Smith Does Stella Blues Supper Club

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA

PHOTO BY JESSICA PEARL

T

hree-time Na Hoku Hanono nominee, lead singer of The Throwdowns and former Maui resident Erin Smith will appear on the Stella Supper Club Stage this Friday. The recent transplant to Oahu’s East shores is now a Fruit Punch Hawaii columnist. Her much-anticipated new album, which included work done in Canada, will partner Smith with the team that produced Arcade Fire’s acclaimed Fumeral.

As a solo artist and writer, Erin’s material differs from The Throwdowns pop sound–she has darker undertones and a more subdued indie-rock flare. MauiTime pulled up alongside Smith to get the lowdown on life and career– in her own words: My sound is... Dark, sharp, indie-pop.

Kind of Lana Del Rey, Adele, Feist and Florence + the Machine all wrapped into one.

Mostly about men and emo shit. These days, I have a lot of Santigold, The Black Keys, Grizzly Bear, Cold War Kids, Sleigh Bells, Sia, the XX, MIA, Arcade Fire, At the Drive In and a bunch of pop on my iPod. My solo career... is mostly separate from the Throwdowns, but I learn and draw from every musical endeavor I’m involved with. The material that I do on my own, and the production, is darker and moodier than the Throwdowns. The band is more upbeat, a little bit Reggae and a whole lot of shiny pop. On my own, I’m more torch.

I write... many of my songs by myself.

Some of the Throwdowns material is cowritten together and it’s definitely arranged as a group. Meticulously arranged. Producers are very important when it comes to records.

I can write but outside of vague references I can’t produce and I admire that skill a lot.

Opening for the Fray... was a good eyeopener, in that it was one of our very first big arena shows. I learned how green I was by asking the guitarist from the Fray if he was

the lighting guy, while he was standing by the monitor board. One show I will never forget is the time we played on Maui, at the Lahaina Civic Center, with Matisyahu. We had done all the islands with him and his crew, I had a busted leg and was in a cast for the tour.

The night before Lahaina, we played Kauai during the tsunami scare and the whole tour got stuck at a mall for hours, after staying up all night in a Honolulu hotel room fielding calls from worried family members. All four Throwdowns in one room that night. The night of the Lahaina show, it was POURING rain. The BAMP guys were mopping the stage in between acts so we didn’t slip. It was pure rock n roll, sweaty, rainy, light-show awesomeness and I loved it. The Maui crowd was so pumped, supportive of our band, and amazing. Afterwards when we were hanging out with Matisyahu and crew, Matis said, “Erin you are extremely talented” and that meant a lot coming from him.

At shows I eat... a lot of poke and kale

salad. But for singers, you need more like pastas and carbs to be able to belt. True story.

Canadian music... runs rich and deep.

There are so many talented songwriters, partly because I think Canada really nurtures and values the arts. And partly because it’s fucking cold three-quarters of the year and you have to keep warm doing something. I have much to learn in the ways of songwriting when you line me up against other Canadian songwriters. There is a great sharpness and a huge amount of storytelling skill in the Canadian songwriters’ collective catalogue.

When I was young... I mooned over musical theater and thought I wanted to do that. I spent enormous amounts of time as a kid being a theater dork and performing in musicals. Then I went into theater at York University and ended up starting bands instead. I did graduate though. Working in music just kind of happened. I have a long way to go, but it gets bigger and better all the time. I

$30 show / $60 for 4 course dinner & show (6pm.) 7:30pm show.

Stella Blues (1279 S Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3779, Stellablues.com.

took Suzuki violin starting when I was around four, and that’s all ear training so I think that’s where a lot of my singing ear comes from. I took a little bit of guitar, but am mostly self, brother and bandmate taught. I also took a handful of vocal coaching classes when I was really pushing my voice out in The Throwdowns for a bit. I’ve since learned to control from my stomach muscles and not just belt as hard as I possibly can.

In the studio I must have a... Circle scarf from American Apparel. It can be like a scarf or a hoodie. Super rad! My Mac laptop for bringing up song references. And my iPhone so I can text my boyfriend, family and friends.

This year... I started writing a weekly column for Honolulu art, culture and entertainment website Fruit Punch Hawaii.

It’s called “Heels, Curls & Picks, Erin Smith’s Guide to Your Best Disaster” and it comes out every Wednesday at Fruitpunchhawaii.com. It’s tongue-in cheek, sassy, kind of personal and includes talk about music, fashion, girl stuff and just being a musician. That’s a ballsy move for me and I love it.

I want to collaborate with... Santigold. Black Keys. Matisyahu. Steven Tyler because Aerosmith sounds so much like Erin Smith.

What’s next is... I recorded an album in a very cold Montreal, Canada in March and April of last year. It is mixed and mastered and currently wrapped up in business. Stay tuned. ■ marina@mauitime.com + @mauitime For more A&E news, visit MauiTime’s events blog at: mauivents.com To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1635d2

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16 FEBRUARY 14, 2013

Picks

BY MARINA SATOAFAIGA @sandtothecity

THURSDAY, FEB. 14 ZIP FOR YOUR HEART – In honor of American Heart A Association’s Heart Month and to create awareness, Flyin Hawaiian Zipline is offering custom T-shirts with all the proceeds going to the AHA. Pick up a shirt at any of the tours throughout February as your contribution to a great c cause.

Boasting that no heavy machinery was used to craft the cour courses–among the longest in Hawaii–Flyin Hawaiian prides itself on n non-disruptive runs that allow for incredible natural views. So get your heart pumping while giving back to a heart disease research and trea treatment. Maui Tropical Plantation (1670 Honoapiilani Hwy, W Wailuku); 808-463-5786, flyinhawaiianzipline.com.

WOMEN HELPING WOMEN BENEFIT – There’s a horrifying statistic that says in three women will be raped or beaten in her lifetime. V-Day Maui invites all to walk-out, dance, rise up and demand an end to the violence. This will assist Maui’s Women helping Women, which aids victims of domestic violence. Come for an evening of Afro-Brazilian Dance and Drumming with Rada, Sufi Dancing with Leilah and Bodhi, Mabanzi Marimba, Heartbeat Express and Five Rhythms Dance with Sara. For more information and help spread the word visit the site below. 6pm-11pm. $10-$15. Makawao Union Church (1445 Baldwin Ave, Makawao), Vdaymaui.org.

THURSDAY, FEB. 14 QUETZAL GUERRERO – What do you get when you mix roots, Reggae, samba and soul? You get Quetzal Guerrero, who for the first time in Hawaii will grace the Casanova stage (along with DJ Miss Sunny Z). Guerrero’s an American born Latin Soul singer who was just four when he picked up the violin and hasn’t put it down since. He studied violin at the famous International Academy of the Suzuki Method in Japan, and the Conservatorio Pernambucano de Musica in Recife, Brazil. Quetzal’s proficiency in violin, guitar, percussion and vocal has left him in the category of prominent artists in the Latin Soul music scene. $10. 9:30pm. Casanova (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220, Qviolin.com.

ROMANTIC VALENTINES DAY SOIREE – In honor of an eight-year old Will Smith, whose life was taken by an tragic car accident, the first annual Will’s Hearts in Haiku Valentines Day Soiree will take place on Valentines Day, Feb. 14. The Will Smith Foundation is a nonprofit organization that provides positive life experiences for underprivileged children. The foundation honors Will’s memory by continuing the heartfelt kindness and generosity he showed to other children during his brief life. The evening will headline Henry Kapono, along with Ekolu Kalama (Dare to Dream). $100$125. 5:30-10pm. Haiku Mill (250 Haiku Rd.), Thewillsmithfoundation.org.

THURSDAY, FEB. 14 VALENTINES DAY DINING – Don’t know where to take your valentine for a delicious meal? Don’t worry, we’ve got you covered. On the Southside, Gannon’s will serve up a five-Course Valentine’s Aphrodisiac Tasting Menu. Kono’s on the Green celebrates with a romantic dinner while Royal Thai Cuisine offers sweet prawns for your sweetheart.

On the Westside, catch the saucy Kit Kat Club Cabaret at Fleetwoods on Front St. The Plantation House in Kapalua will present a Valentine Weekend Sweetheart Special, Pineapple Grill will have a prix fixe Valentine’s Day Sweetheart menu and The Melting Pot will give Cupid a run for his money with a Fondue Fork. In Ma’alaea, Buzz’s Warf will host a special four-course dinner menu with live music by Ron Kuala’au and Ryan Robinson. And Kahili Restaurant will host a Valentine’s Day dinner buffet.

SCREW CUPID – Calling all the single and ready to mingle: Diamonds Ice Bar in Kihei has carved a special evening for you! The theme Screw Cupid and Celebrate the Single Life means there will be drink specials flowing with $5 Kinky shots and $6 Kinky Ultra and serving food ‘til midnight. Rampage will play live music so get your groove on single or not.

Embrace the case and come out for a night of love.

No cover. 9pm. Diamonds Bar & Grill (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-9299, Diamondsicebar.com.

THURSDAY, FEB. 14

FRIDAY, FEB. 15

FREE TAX PREP – Tis the season to file your taxes and AARP Foundation’s Tax Aid Program is here to help! The program will offer free tax preparation assistance and e-filing of returns for low and moderate income wage earners. Help will be available through April 13 in Kahului, Lahaina, Kihei and Paia. Taxpayers must not have rental income, 10 or fewer stock sales and business expenses of $5,000 or lower and show a profit. Other restrictions may apply. Visit Aarp.org/money/taxes/ aarp_taxaide for info on times and locations.

PHOTO

WIKIMED

IA BY IR

S.GOV

PUBLIC RENEWAL OF WEDDING VOWS – Want to re-live your happiest day of your life? The Holy Innocents Episcopal Church will be hosting an open invitation to those married in a religious or civil ceremony/civil union and those of all faith for a chance to do it all over again! The church and Rev. Bill Albinger invite all to bring family and friends to witness the joyous occasion. The event will include music, prayers, a renewal ceremony and exchange of new (or original) rings. Each couple will be presented with a signed Marriage Vow Renewal certificate concluding the ceremony, and cake will follow. The ceremony will take place on the rear oceanfront lawn of the Holy Innocents Episcopal Church. Free. Holy Innocents Episcopal Church (561 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4202, Holyimaui.org.

SATURDAY, FEB. 16

VALENTINES BURLESQUE EXTRAVAGANZA – Honolulu’s Cherry Blossom Cabaret and Maui’s Ultraviolets and Kit Kat Club Cabaret are presenting a Kiss Kiss A Valentine Burlesque Extravaganza. The trio hook up for the first time in Hawaii to bring you a valentine-themed sizzling evening of live burlesque. Let them entertain you with song, dance, tease, flamboyance and flirtatiousness that should have everyone properly enticed. The entertainers will treat you to a variety of acts showcasing the different facets of love. The adult burlesque show is 18+ and will have concessions for purchase. $30 door (if still available) mezzanine level/ $35 orchestra level.

7:30pm. Iao Theater (68 N. Market St., Wailuku), kisskissburlesque.eventbrite.com.

MIDWINTER’S NIGHT’S DREAM – ROOTS School Maui is presenting a festival inspired by ye olde Renaissance Faire. Midwinter Night’s Dream will feature games, entertainment, performances, a silent auction and more with proceeds benefiting ROOTS and their education and learning programs. The private community-based learning school invites all to dress in costume and join the festivities. $5. 6pm-9pm. Makawao Union Church Community Hall (1445 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-250-7988, Rootsmaui.com.

SATURDAY, FEB. 16 WHALE DAY – As part of the Maui Whale Festival, Pacific Whale Foundation and Expedia Local Expert present the 33rd annual World Whale Day. Onlookers can enjoy the Parade of Whales beginning at 9am at Alanui Keali‘i Drive. The colorful floats and costumed sea characters will set the tone for the afternoon of family-friendly festivity. The Hawaiian band Kalapana will make a rare Maui appearance as the headline act. Willie K, Ekolu, Marty Dread and The Throwdowns will perform as well.

Keiki can enjoy inflatable rides, activities, cotton candy, shave ice and games at the keiki carnival area. There’s free event parking and free shuttle service at Hope Chapel (300 East Welakahao Rd., Kihei) and at Azeka Mauka (S. Kihei Road, just north of Lipoa Street). Free. 9am-7pm Kalama Park (1900 S. Kihei Rd.), Mauiwhalefestival.org.

TIMOTHY WISD WISDOM – He’s been dubbed the “Voice of Ghetto Funk,” and his sets are filled fill with spontaneous lyrical content and a charisma that literally lifts audiences audienc off their feet. Creator of the world’s first digital forcefeedback turntable, turntab his musical productions are found in the record bags ac of DJs across the globe. He’s traveled to multiple countries, headli lining major festivals such as Bass Coast and Burning Man. DJ Deviant and DJ Sid will be spinning as well. $10 before 11pm/ $15 after. Charley’s (142 Hana Hwy., Paia), Charleysmaui.com.

SATURDAY, FEB. 16 KEALI‘I REICHEL’S KUKAHI – It’s time for Keali‘i Reichel’s annual Kukahi. The fundraiser benefits Reichel’s Merrie Monarch Festival awardees Halau Ke‘alaokamaile. Renowned as one of Hawaii’s most popular recording artists, Keali‘i’s music and chants represent the best of Hawaii’s traditional and contemporary poetry today, earning multiple Na Hoku Hanohano Awards in addition to a top spot on world music charts. $12-$55. 7:30pm. Maui Arts and Cultural Center, Castle Theater (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469, Mauiarts.org.

JOHN CRUZ - Singer/songwriter John Cruz is the real deal.

Born in Oahu’s Palolo Valley, he spent his formative musical years on the East Coast. He returned in 1995, where he sat in with his brother Ernie’s band the Ka‘au Crater Boys. A year later, Cruz released his first album, Acoustic Soul. He wouldn’t produce another album for a decade (One of These Days, 2007), but his songs “Shine On” and “Island Style” became instant classics. And now he’ll be at Stella Blues in Kihei. $30 show only / 60 dinner and show. 7:30pm. Stella Blues (1279 S. Kihei Rd.), 808-874-3779, Stellablues.com

FEBRUARY 14, 2013 17

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Film

Die Hard Another Day ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’ is decent enough

BY BARRY WURST II

A Good Day to Die Hard ★★★★★ Rated R / 97 Min.

I

t’s almost exactly 25 years since the original Die Hard and here we have the fifth John McClane adventure. The best way to approach the return of Bruce Willis as the New York cop who “kills a lot of bad guys” is to push the original film out of your mind. Let’s face it, action fans: John McTiernan’s 1988 film will never be matched nor topped.

Hollywood tried for years to recreate the formula, peaking with Speed (“it’s Die Hard on a bus!”) but mostly sinking to the level of Chill Factor (“it’s Die Hard on an ice cream truck!”). If, like myself, you’re among those who consider Die Hard one of the greatest action movies, then it’s best to lower your expectations right now.

Sorry, but nothing in the latest installment is as good as what happened in the Nakatomi tower, the villain is no Hans Gruber and McClane will never have a

partner better than Officer Powell. Still, while not the best of the sequels, the rousing A Good Day to Die Hard is a solid, muscular action extravaganza and perfect viewing for Father’s Day. The film has McClane flying off to Russia when he discovers his long estranged son (played by Jai Courtney) has a lengthy rap sheet and is in trouble with the local authorities. Not long after McClane’s arrival, an explosion-filled jailbreak occurs that pits father and son together; their prickly reconciliation occurs in the midst of a manhunt for a Russian fugitive (Sebastian Koch) who the McClanes struggle to keep alive.

After a few stylish introductory scenes (such as Willis’ cool opener, in which bullets literally pierce the screen), the film gets off to a cluttered, uneven start.

You can feel the screenwriter forcing the premise, with the way McClane is injected into the Russian scenario coming across completely false.

We know McClane can hold his own in the midst of a Russian war zone (or anywhere else, for that matter), but the

JOIN THE

way the father/ son dynamic is established, as well as pages of subpar “you were Still hard a lousy father” dialogue, do not bode well. The film’s first big action set piece is also a bit of a problem. Director John Moore impresses by staging an enormous, bang-em-up car chase as awestruckinducing as anything in a Fast and Furious film. Yet, the hand held cinematography and whiplash editing makes this shaky, unsteadily photographed set piece as confusing as it is thrilling.

Once the action slows down and Courtney and Willis have scenes that reinstate the familial bond at the heart of every Die Hard installment, the movie starts to work. Willis’ wearier but still cynical take on McClane is always a joy to watch and Courtney is well cast and endearing as the son of New York’s finest. Koch, a German dramatic actor best known for The Lives of Others, brings a lot to the role of a political prisoner on

the run and it’s nice to see Mary Elisabeth Winstead again playing McClane’s no-nonsense daughter.

Die Hard 2 is still my favorite in the series, as it feels like it exists in the same world as the original, while the great but over-praised third film feels drawn out. Courtney is a preferable sidekick to Willis than Justin Long, which is why this is a better bet than Live Free or Die Hard.

The movie’s great in parts, even if the whole doesn’t make a lot of sense. The overuse of CGI during the finale (in an otherwise stunt-heavy film) is probably its biggest misstep. Otherwise, there’s enough here to make Die Hard junkies yell “Yippee Ki-Yay!” ■ To share or save this article, type: mt.hy.pr/1635f

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Film

Showtimes

WHERE AND WHEN TO WATCH WHAT

BY JENNA SCHAMBER MAUI MALL MEGAPLEX Maui Mall, Kahului, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: M-Th until 6pm, F-Su until 3:30pm)

Escape From Planet Earth opens this week KA’AHUMANU 6 Queen Ka’ahumanu Shopping Center, Kahului, 1-800-326-3264 (Matinees: Every day until 4pm)

A Good Day to Die Hard-R-THU-SUN 10:25, 11:10, 12:45, 1:30, 3:05, 3:50, 4:20, 5:25, 6:10, 7:00, 7:45, 8:30, 9:20, 10:05, 10:50.

MON-WED 10:25, 11:10, 12:45, 1:30, 3:05, 3:50, 4:20, 5:25, 6:10, 7:00, 7:45, 8:30.

Beautiful Creatures-PG13-THU-SUN 11:00, 1:50, 4:30, 7:15, 10:10. MON-WED 11:00, 1:50, 4:30, 7:15.

Django Unchained-R-THU 12:20, 3:40, 7:00. FRI-WED 1:00.

NEW THIS WEEK BEAUTIFUL CREATURES - PG 13 - Drama/ Fantasy/Romance - Guy wants to leave his small town, then meets mysterious girl and starts learning dark secrets. 124 min.

ESCAPE FROM PLANET EARTH - PG - Animation - An astronaut responds to a SOS call on a dangerous alien world. 95 min.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD - R - Action/ Thriller - Bruce Willis is back, yet again, as John McClane–this time to fight underworld thugs in Russia with his CIA op son. See this week’s film critique. 97 min.

SAFE HAVEN - PG 13 - Drama/Mystery/Romance - Mysterious young woman meets widower in small Southern town and starts to confront the dark secret that’s haunting her. 115 min.

NOW PLAYING BULLET TO THE HEAD - R - Crime/Thriller - Sylvester Stallone stars in this story of a hit man and detective who team up to find someone. 91 min.

DJANGO UNCHAINED - R - Action, Drama Quentin Tarantino gives us Jamie Foxx as a slaveturned-bounty hunter trying to rescue his wife from a Mississippi plantation owner. 141 min.

Mama-R-THU 10:45, 1:00, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45. FRI-SUN 7:25, 9:50. MON-WED 5:00, 7:25.

Side Effects-R-THU 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25.

FRI-SUN 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25, 10:15.

MON-WED 11:40, 2:15, 4:50, 7:25.

Sisterakas-PG13-THU 11:50, 2:15, 4:40, 7:05. FRI-SUN 11:50, 2:25, 5:00. MONWED 11:50, 2:25.

Stand Up Guys-R-THU 10:40, 12:50, 3:00, 5:10, 7:35. FRI-WED 10:40.

Wreck-It Ralph-PG-MON 9:00.

HANSEL AND GRETEL: WITCH HUNTERS - R - Fantasy/Horror - This slightly reworked take on the Brothers Grimm fairy tale finds the famous siblings as brutal bounty hunters who take down witches for fun and profit. 88 min.

IDENTITY THIEF - R - Comedy - A businessman searches the country for a woman who stole his identity. 111 min.

THE IMPOSSIBLE - PG-13 - Drama - Story of a family caught in the 2004 Asian tsunami. 107 min.

LIFE OF PI - PG - Adventure - A young man survives a shipwreck only to find himself trapped in a lifeboat with a Bengal tiger. 127 min.

Broken City-R-THU (1:50, 4:15), 7:00, 9:25.

Bullet to the Head-R-THU (2:15, 4:45), 7:20, 9:45. FRI (12:00, 2:15, 4:45), 7:20, 9:45. SATMON (12:00, 2:15), 4:45, 7:20, 9:45. TUEWED (2:15, 4:45), 7:20, 9:45.

Escape from Planet Earth-PG-FRI (12:05, 2:20), 7:00. SAT-MON (12:05, 2:20), 7:00.

TUE-WED (2:20), 7:00.

Escape from Planet Earth 3D-PG-FRI (4:35), 9:15. SAT-MON 4:35, 9:15. TUE-WED (4:35), 9:15.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters-PG13THU-WED (1:55).

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters 3DPG13-THU (4:20), 6:45, 9:05. FRI (11:45, 4:20), 6:45, 9:05. SAT-MON (11:45), 4:20, 6:45, 9:05. TUE-WED (4:20), 6:45, 9:05.

Identity Thief-R-THU (1:30, 2:00, 4:00, 4:40), 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 9:55. FRI (11:35, 1:30, 2:00, 4:00, 4:40), 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 9:55. SAT-MON (11:35, 1:30, 2:00), 4:00, 4:40, 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 9:55. TUE-WED (1:30, 2:00, 4:00, 4:40), 6:30, 7:15, 9:10, 9:55.

Life of Pi-PG-THU-WED (2:45).

Life of Pi 3D-PG-THU (5:45), 8:45. FRI (11:55, 5:45), 8:45. SAT-MON (11:55), 5:45, 8:45. TUE-WED (5:45), 8:45.

Parker-R-FRI (11:40, 2:25, 5:05), 8:15. SATMON (11:40, 2:25), 5:05, 8:15. TUE-WED (2:25, 5:05), 8:15.

Safe Haven-PG13-THU (2:10, 4:50), 7:25, 10:00. FRI (11:30, 2:10, 4:50), 7:25, 10:00.

SAT-MON (11:30, 2:10), 4:50, 7:25, 10:00.

film is about two half-siblings who grew up in remarkably different environments. 110 min.

STAND UP GUYS - R - Comedy - Alan Arkin, Al Pacino and Christopher Walken star in this film about aging con-men who get together for a final job. 94 min.

WARM BODIES - PG-13 - Comedy - Zombie falls in love with zombie-hunter in this quirky take on a very tired genre. 97 min.

ZERO DARK THIRTY - R - Action/Drama - The story of the raid that killed Osama Bin Laden. 120 min.

TUE-WED (2:10, 4:50), 7:25, 10:00.

Silver Linings Playbook-R-THU (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:50. FRI (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:50.

SAT-MON (1:45), 4:25, 7:05, 9:50. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:25), 7:05, 9:50.

The Impossible-PG13-THU (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. FRI (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30. SATMON (1:35), 4:10, 6:50, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:35, 4:10), 6:50, 9:30.

Warm Bodies-PG13-THU (2:05, 4:30), 6:55, 9:20. FRI (11:50, 2:05, 4:30), 6:55, 9:20. SATMON (11:50, 2:05), 4:30, 6:55, 9:20. TUEWED (2:05, 4:30), 6:55, 9:20.

Zero Dark Thirty-R-THU (1:40, 5:00), 8:30.

FRI (1:40, 5:00), 8:30. SAT-MON (1:40), 5:00, 8:30. TUE-WED (1:40, 5:00), 8:30.

WHARF CINEMA CENTER 658 Front St., Lahaina, 808-249-2222 (Matinees: Tue all shows, until 6pm every other day)

A Good Day to Die Hard-R-THU (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30. FRI (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

SAT-MON (1:45), 4:15, 7:00, 9:30. TUE-WED (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

Bullet to the Head-R-THU (1:45, 4:15), 7:00, 9:30.

Escape from Planet Earth-PG-FRI (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35. SAT-MON (2:00), 4:30, 7:05, 9:35.

TUE-WED (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35.

Hansel and Gretel: Witch Hunters-PG13THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35. THU (2:00, 4:30), 7:05, 9:35.

Warm Bodies-PG13-THU (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15. THU (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15. FRI (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15. SAT-MON (1:30), 4:00, 6:45, 9:15. TUE-WED (1:30, 4:00), 6:45, 9:15.

LAST CHANCE BROKEN CITY - R - Crime/Drama - An excop takes revenge on a crooked mayor who betrays him. Starring Mark Wahlberg and Russell Crowe. 109 min.

WRECK-IT RALPH - PG - Animation - A video game villain wants to be a hero, but creates much havoc in the process. 108 min.

MAMA - PG-13 - Horror - A couple raises young nieces who were left alone in the forest for five years. Which is great and all, except maybe they weren’t alone at all... 100 min.

PARKER - R - Crime/Thriller - Jason Statham stars as–surprise!–a badass thief who seeks revenge on his double-crossing former crew. 118 min.

SIDE EFFECTS - R - Thriller - Rooney Mara stars in this creepy Steven Soderbergh film about a suffering woman trying to have a baby. 115 min.

SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK - R - Drama/ Comedy - Jennifer Lawrence and Bradley Cooper star in this look at what happens when a former teacher moves back in with his parents after a stint in a mental institution. 122 min.

Last Chance to see Broken City

SISTERAKAS - NR - Comedy - This Filipino

FEBRUARY 14, 2013 21

Calendar

Da Kine Calendar

BY JENNA SCHAMBER

BIG SHOWS

QUETZAL GUERRERO - Thu, Feb 14. See This Week’s Picks. $10 cover. 9:30pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui. com and Sat, Feb 16 at 7pm Sacred Earth Temple, (4505 Hana Hwy., Haiku); mauisacredearth.com

at the door. 7:30-9:30pm Maui Yoga Path at the Mana Kai Resort, (2960 S. Kihei Rd.); 310-4158821; mauivalentines2013.eventbrite.com

for? This night is a blast. Reservations recommended. $35. 5-9pm The Melting Pot, (325 Keawe St., Ste. A202, Lahaina); 808-661-6181; meltingpot.com

SCREW CUPID PARTY - Thu, Feb 14. See This Week’s Picks. No Cover. 9pm Diamonds Ice Bar & Grill, (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299

TICKETS ON SALE

ERIN SMITH - Fri, Feb 15. See story on p. 15 for more info. $60 dinner & show at 6pm, $30 show only at 7:30pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

ANTI-VALENTINE’S DAY PARTY - Celebrate being single with beats by DJ Kurt, friends and delicious cocktails. No cover. 10pm Ambrosia, (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011

SUPPER CLUB WITH JOHN CRUZ - Sat, Feb 16. See This Week’s Picks. A 4-course dinner and show at 6pm for $60 or show only for $30 at 7:30pm. Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com

VALENTINE’S DAY WEEKEND DINNERS Thu, Feb 14 through Sun, Feb 17. The Plantation House Restaurant, (2000 Plantation Club Dr., Kapalua); 808-669-6299; theplantationhouse.com

KEALI’I REICHEL’S KUKAHI 2013 - Sat, Feb 16 & Sun, Feb 17. See This Week’s Picks. $12, $35, $45, $55. 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org TIMOTHY WISDOM - Sat, Feb 16. See This Week’s Picks. $10 before 11pm, $15 after at door.

10pm Charley’s Restaurant & Saloon, (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085; charleysmaui.com

VALENTINE’S DAY

APHRODISIAC-INSPIRED 3-COURSE DINNER - Thu, Feb 14. $62.85- $64.85. 5-9:30pm Hula Grill, (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka‘anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636; hulagrillkaanapali.com 4-COURSE DINNER - Thu, Feb 14. $70 for one or $120 for two (plus tax and gratuity). 5-9pm Buzz’s Wharf, (390 Ma‘alaea Boat Harbor Rd.); 808-244-5426; buzzswharf.com DINNER AT TIKI TERRACE - Thu, Feb 14. $49.95 per person and includes a glass of champagne or house wine. 5pm Tiki Terrace Restaurant, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011 APHRODISIAC 5-COURSE TASTING MENU - Thu, Feb 14. $75/person (plus tax & gratuity).

5:30-9pm Gannon’s A Pacific View Restaurant, (100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080; gannonsrestaurant.com 4-COURSE MEAL - Thu, Feb 14. $45 per person, 3 glasses of sparkling for $15. 5-9pm Three’s Bar & Grill, (1945 S Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133; threesbarandgrill.com SUPPER CLUB WITH HAPA - Thu, Feb 14. $60 4-course dinner & show, $30 show only.

6-9pm Stella Blues Cafe, (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779; stellablues.com THREE-COURSE DINNER WITH MAGICIAN MARK BENNICK- Thu, Feb 14. $39-$89.

4:45pm Kupanaha Stage, Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-667-0128; kupanaha.com FIVE-COURSE DINNER WITH WINE PAIRINGS - Thu, Feb 14. $65 per person (excluding tax and gratuity). 5-9pm 100Wines, (Lahaina Gateway, 325 Keawe St.); 808- 661-6181; 100winesmaui.com WILL’S HEARTS IN HAIKU VALENTINE’S DAY SOIREE 2013 - Thu, Feb 14. See This Week’s Picks. $100-125. 5:30-10pm Haiku Mill, (250 Haiku Rd.); 808-238-8613; jenny@thewillsmithfoundation.com POWER OF LOVE VALENTINES RITUAL CELEBRATION - Thu, Feb 14. A sacred celebration in support of Love and the 1 Billion Rising to end violence against women everywhere. Wear something comfortable to move and meditate in! Bring water, a journal, alter offering, etc. $15 pre-register, $20

22 FEBRUARY 14, 2013

KIT KAT CLUB VALENTINE’S CABARET PERFORMANCE - Call for price and details. Fleetwood’s on Front St., (744 Front Street, Lahaina); 808-669-6425; fleetwoodsonfrontst.com FEAST OF LOVE 4-COURSE DINNERS - Fri, Feb 15 & Sat, Feb 16. $35. Seatings: 5:30pm & 7:15pm. Vineyard Food Co., (1951 E. Vineyard, Wailuku); 808-243-3663; chefg@maui.net; vineyardfoodcompany.com KISS KISS: A VALENTINES BURLESQUE EXTRAVAGANZA - Fri, Feb 15. See This Week’s Picks. $20-40. 7pm Iao Theater, (68 N. Market St., Wailuku); 808-242-6969; kisskissburlesque.eventbrite.com

STAGE

MAN OF LA MANCHA – Every Fri, Sat & Sun through Feb 24. Ride with knight errant Don Quixote on his gallant quest for honor and glory in Maui Academy of Performing Arts’ production of Man of La Mancha. Directed by David C. Johnston with musical direction by Marti Kluth. Dale Button plays the title role. Fri and Sat 7:30pm & Sun 2pm. $25 adults, $22 seniors & $18 students. Steppingstone Playhouse, Queen Ka’ahumanu Center (275 W Ka’ahumanu Ave.); 808-244-8760, mauiacademy.org

FOODIE

CHINESE NEW YEAR’S BUFFET CELEBRATION - Sat, Feb 16. Celebrate the coming of the new Chinese year with a buffet designed by the resort’s interns from Shanghai University in China.

The buffet will also feature a traditional Chinese lion dance and martial arts demonstration performed by the students of the Au’s Shaolin Arts Society at 7pm. $46 per adult and $23 for children ages (512) plus tax & gratuity. 5:30-10pm Molokini Bar & Grille, Makena Beach & Golf Resort, (5400 Makena Alanui); 808-875-5888; makenaresortmaui.com CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION BRUNCH - Sun, Feb 17. Come and celebrate the Year of the Snake, with a celebratory brunch that features over 50 items including Asian delicacies and free flowing champagne. Entertainment includes fireworks, Lion Dancer performances by Au’s Shaolin Arts Society and live Hawaiian Music. Adults $42.95, children 12 & younger $22, children 5 & younger eat free with each paid adult.

8:30am-1pm Ka‘anapali Beach Hotel, (2525 Ka‘anapali Pkwy.); 808-661-0011; kbhmaui.com MARDI GRAS AT BRIGIT & BERNARD’S - Fri, Feb 15 & Sat, Feb 16. Live music from High Seas Dixieland Band and an all-you-can-eat Southern Cuisine buffet. $38. Call for reservations. 6-9pm Brigit & Bernard’s Garden Cafe, (335 Ho‘ohana St., Kahului); 808-877-6000; mauihawaii.org/restaurants/brigit-bernards GIRLS NIGHT OUT - Tue, Feb 19. You know, ‘cause girls just wanna have fun. This four-course fondue extravaganza features a martini bar, trunk shows and the chance to win lots of goodies. What are you waiting

NRITYAGRAM DANCE ENSEMBLE - Thu, Feb 21. A powerful performance from Nrityagram Dance Ensemble of India. See $12, $32, $45.

7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org “LEND ME A TENOR” - Fri, Feb 22 through Sun, Mar 10. ProArts is proud to present Ken Ludwig’s “Lend Me a Tenor” as the first show of their spring season. Thu, Fri & Sat at 7:30pm and Sun at 3pm (no show on 2/24). $20 reserved seats. Kama’aina nights, with discounts for Hawaii residents, are scheduled for Sat, Feb 23, and Thu, Feb 28 and Mar 7. ProArts Playhouse, (1280 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-463-6550; proartspacific.com SOURCE INTERACTIVE ARTS FESTIVAL - Fri, Feb 22 through Sun, Feb 24. Maui’s largest annual multi-media arts festival returns for its sixth year on Maui. The festival’s focus is on arts culture with this year’s theme being Imaginarium. Interactive art projects, musical art, live bands, DJs, producers and art exhibitions are scheduled, and impromptu jams and parades are common. Festival passes sold on website for $198. (Camp Keanae); sourcemaui.com LEA SALONGA - Fri, Feb 22. Soprano singer and actress from the Philippines, Lea Salonga, takes the stage at the MACC. $35, $45, $55, $125.

7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org NOFX CONCERT - Fri, Feb 22. Los Angeles punk band, NOFX, brings their diverse punk rock sounds to Maui. $30/general admission, $45/VIP ($5 price increase on event day). 7:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org ART AFFAIR 2013: “CAMELOT AT KALUANUI: A FEAST OF ART & MERRIMENT” - Sat, Feb 23.

An elegant “Medieval Inspired” cuisine by Celebrations Catering, premium bar, live music by Jimmy Mack and the Kool Kats, live & silent auction of fine art and packages led by expert auctioneer Kip Toner.

Premium $250, standard $175, premium table for 10 $2,500, standard table for 10 $1,750. 5-10pm Hui No’eau Visual Arts Center, (2841 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808-572-6560; huinoeau.com

EVENTS THURSDAY, FEB 14 ONE BILLION RISING - Join UH Maui and activists around the island for One Billion Rising, the largest day of action in the history of V-Day, the global activist movement to end violence against women and girls. Free. 12pm UH Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-984-3278; vday.org; arisb@hawaii.edu PUBLIC RENEWAL OF MARRIAGE VOWS CEREMONY - See This Week’s Picks. Free.

5:30pm The Rear Oceanfront Lawn, Holy Innocents Episcopal Church, (561 Front St., Lahaina); 808661-4202; holyimaui.org; holyinno@hawaii.rr.com FARM SANCTUARY: CHANGING HEARTS & MINDS ABOUT ANIMALS & FOOD - A presentation by Gene Baur, co-founder and president of Farm Sanctuary. Free admission and refreshments. 7pm Kaunoa Senior Center, (401 Alakapa Pl., Sprecklesville); 808-270-7308

FRIDAY, FEB 15 MAUI’S KEIKI E.C.O. (EDUCATING CHILDREN OUTDOORS) DAY - A free, day-long event for Maui schools that brings schoolchildren

together in a beautiful oceanside park to learn about the environment and their role in protecting it. Contact Karen Molina, Youth Education Director at Pacific Whale Foundation for information on location. 808-856-8341; pacificwhalestore.org; karenmolina@pacificwhale.org COUNTY PUBLIC WORKS ENGINEERS TALK STORY SESSION - The Plumbing Inspection Section will be holding a “Talk Story” session with members of the plumbing contractors’ community to discuss recent changes to the County’s permitting and inspection process. Officials will also address issues and answer frequently-asked questions from contractors. Free. 8am Kalama building, room 103, UH Maui College, (310 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-270-7238; maui.hawaii.edu THE YEAR OF THE SNAKE CELEBRATION The celebration will begin with martial arts exhibitions and a lion dance performance by Master Ben Seng Au and his Shaolin Martial Arts Academy.

The festivities open with firecrackers, and include drums, cymbals and elaborate lion costumes. Free.

9am Front Lawn, Maui County Building, (250 S. High St., Wailuku); 808-270-7710; co.maui.hi.us MAKAWAO THIRD FRIDAY - The theme for this month’s 3rd Friday is “Fall in Love with Makawao.”

Featured entertainment includes live music in the Casanova Mauka parking area and On Core Studio makai courtyard, a “keiki korral” at Komoda Parking Area, shop-to-shop specials and food concessions.

Free. 6-9pm Makawao Town, (Makawao Avenue and Baldwin Avenue); mauifridays.com STARRY NIGHT CINEMA: BABE MOVIE - A movie screening of Babe (1995), a charming Australian family film about Babe, a pig separated from his family and raised by sheep dogs.

Babe wants to become a useful member of the farm by learning to herd sheep with a little help from Farmer Hoggett. Art activities and live music precede the show. Free. 6:30-9:30pm Maui Arts & Cultural Center, (One Cameron Way, Kahului); 808-242-7469; mauiarts.org CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION - An annual event celebrating Chinese tradition and culture, with children’s arts & crafts, a farmer’s market, “Year of the Snake” merchandise, delicacies from Fu Lin restaurant, a Lion dance performance

by Ben Seng Au’s “Shaolin Arts Society” and a special presentation by Dennis Ryan on “Coins of the Qing (Manchu) Dynasty” and a discussion on a authentic 49 inch “Jade” ritual belt at 6:30pm at the Wo Hing Museum Cook House. Festivities kick off at 5:30pm. Baldwin Home Museum, (corner of Front & Dickenson Streets, Lahaina); 808661-3262 lahainarestoration.org

SATURDAY, FEB 16 8TH ANNUAL MAUI PLEIN AIR PAINTING INVITATIONAL - The Maui Plein Air Painting Invitational is a week long art event, Sat, Feb 16 through Sun, Feb 24, in Lahaina with a mission to foster an appreciation for plein air (outdoor) painting for Maui visitors and residents while supporting art activities within the Maui community. For more information on artists workshops and schedule of events, see website.; mauipleinairpainting. org; info@mauipleinairpainting.org WHALE DAY - See This Week’s Picks. Free.

9am-7pm Kalama Park, (1900 S. Kihei Rd.); mauiwhalefestival.org WHALE TALES - An educational event held Sat, Feb 16 and Sun, Feb 17 that provides ocean enthusiasts an opportunity to learn about whales and the oceans from world-renowned scientists, photographers and conservationists. These experts will also join whale watching cruises (7:309:30am on 2/16 & 2/17 and all day on 2/18)

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/14

2/15

2/16

2/17

2/18-2/20

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ALE HOUSE

Envy Nightclub 9pm; $10 cover

355 E. Kamehameha, Kahului - 877-9001

AMBROSIA 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-1011

Annual Anti-Valentines Day Party w/ DJ Kurt 10pm; no cover

Get Your Sexy On with DJ La Rage 10pm; no cover

BLUE LAGOON Wharf Cinema Center, 672 Front St., Lahaina - 667-0988

CASANOVA 1188 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-0220

CHARLEY’S 142 Hana Hwy., Paia - 579-8085

COOL CAT CAFE Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 667-0908

DIAMONDS ICE BAR 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-9299

DOG & DUCK IRISH PUB 1913 S. Kihei Rd. - 875-9669

FLEETWOOD’S ON FRONT ST. 744 Front St. (Rooftop), Lahaina - 669-6425

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-8010

HARD ROCK CAFE 900 Front St., Lahaina - 667-7400

donated by local companies throughout the weekend, culminating in a sunset benefit cruise on Monday evening. Free admission to presentations ($20 suggested donation), whale watching trips are by ticketed reservation, purchased in advance.

See website for a schedule of events. 10am-4pm Maui Theatre, (878 Front St., Lahaina); 808-5725700; info@whaletrust.org; whaletrust.org ISLAND GIRL PIN-UPS GO RED GARDEN PARTY - Island Girl Pin-Ups presents “Go Red” Garden Party on behalf of the American Heart Association. Event includes interactive Pin-Up art installations, a survivor gallery, a lips and rosy cheek makeup station, photos by Wailea Photography and Natalie Brown Photography, assorted treats by Wailuku Coffee Co., music by DJ Sweet Beets, themed cocktails by Ocean Vodka and much more. $55.

11am-3pm The Sugarman Estate Makena (No parking at estate please. Parking and pick up is at Mulligan’s On The Blue), 323-350-7420; GoRedTicket.eventbrite.com BURLESQUE WORKSHOP - Learn the art of the tease by Lola Love from Honolulu. This workshop will focus on elements of Classic Burlesque Striptease: History of Burlesque, Poise and Grace, Glove Peels, Boa Play and Self Confidence. $45 (pre-registration required). 12-2pm The Pole Room, (142 Kupuohi St., F2, Lahaina); 808-283-2606 ADULT & PEDIATRIC FIRST AID & CPR/ AED TRAINING - Get trained to recognize and care for victims of illness and sudden injuries and life-threatening respiratory or cardiac emergencies in adults, children, and infants and learn how to use an AED; ARC certification upon completion. This course will be held as an online/ classroom blended learning course.

Classes are based on availability and subject to change. $110 (register online or call). 1-3pm American Red Cross, (45 N. Market St, Suite A, Wailuku); 1-800-733-2767; redcross.org STANDARD FIRST AID TRAINING - Learn emergency action steps and first aid procedures for injuries and sudden illnesses; ARC certification upon completion; This course will also be held as

WED - Karaoke w/ Sista Deva, 8pm-12:30am (all sets no cover)

Volcanic with DJ Playwfire Ono 10pm; no cover

MON - DJ Skinny Guy, 10pm / TUE - Toxic Tuesday w/ DJ TRVR, 10pm / WED - Jacked Up w/ DJ J-Zen, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Salsa Night 9pm; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4900

CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL

Sunrize Saturdaze with DJ Decka 10pm; no cover

DJ Jamn J 10pm; no cover

MON - Open Mic w/ MT, 10pm-close; no cover

Ladies Nite w/ DJ 10pm; no cover

Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; no cover

Johnny Ringo 7-9:30pm; no cover

Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Dave Carroll, 7pm / TUE - Jordan Cuddy, 7pm / WED - Justin Phillips, 7pm

Quetzal Guerrero and his Band with DJ Miss Sunny Z 9:30pm; $10 cover

Love Is All You Need Wink and Wendy Love w/ Guests, 10pm; $10

By Request 80’s Edition w/ DJ Blast 10pm; $5 cover

Thursday Night Blues with Thunder & Lightning 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

DJ Kamikaze & DJ Big Mike w/ DJ Wizzard from Oahu, 9:30pm; $10

Timothy Wisdom w/ special guests DJ Deviant & DJ Sid, 10pm; $10-15

Aloha Sunday Brunch & Bloody Mary Bar w/ The Kekona Ohana, 11am-1pm

MON - Open Mic & Jam, 7pm-10pm / TUE Howard Ahia & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm / WED Evan Dove & Friends, 6:30-8:30pm (no cover)

Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; no cover

Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; no cover

Dave Carroll 7:30-10pm; no cover

Justin Phillips 7:30-10pm; no cover

MON - Peter deAquino, 7:30pm / TUE - Jazz, 7:30-10pm WED - Jordan Cuddy, 7:30-10pm

Screw Cupid Party w/ Rampage, 10pm; no cover

Big John and Daniel, 10pm; no cover

Annie and the Orfinz 8pm; no cover

Gina Martinelli Band 6pm; no cover

MON - Gomega, 10pm / TUE - Pool League, 10pm / WED - DJ Emit, 9pm (no cover)

Quiz Night 7pm; no cover

Dance Party 10pm; no cover

Jordan, 6pm / Dance Mix, 10pm; no cover

Kit Kat Club Valentine’s Cabaret

Live DJ 9pm-12am; no cover

Live DJ 9pm-12am; no cover

Live Music 6-9pm; no cover

MON-WED Live Music, 6-9pm; no cover

Jah Residentz 9pm-close; no cover

Dat Guyz 9pm-close; no cover

Monk (Reggae band from Portland, OR), 9pm

Karaoke Industry Night 8pm; no cover

MON - Karaoke, 8pm / TUE - Luau Buffet & Music, 9pm WED - Open Mic Night, 9pm

WED - Casanova’s Famous Ladies’ Night: Fast Forward with DJ Kurt, 10pm; $5 before 11pm, $10 after

MON - Ryan Robinson, 10pm / TUE - Big John, 10pm / WED - IPod, 10pm (all sets no cover)

Evan Shulman 6-9pm; no cover

an online/classroom blended learning course; classes are based on availability and subject to change. $70; register online. 1-2pm American Red Cross, (45 N. Market St., Suite A, Wailuku); 1-800-733-2767; redcross.org

BY REQUEST: 80S EDITION WITH DJ BLAST - Sat, Feb 16. Go to Chilltown Maui on Facebook and tell them your favorite 80’s jams you want to hear. $5 cover. 10pm Casanova, (1188 Makawao Ave.); 808-572-0220; casanovamaui.com

CELEBRATION OF HAWAI’I 2013 HULA “NEW VISIONS” GRAND OPENING CEREMONY - Join Viewpoints Gallery as they feature new works created around the theme of Hula by over 50 of Hawaii’s most celebrated talents. This Grand Opening Reception event features artist appearances and hula dances with Kumu Hula Gordean Bailey and her Halau Wehiwehi O Leilehua. This show is a benefit to all contributing Hawaiian organizations. Exhibit runs through March 20. Free. 4pm Viewpoints Gallery, (3620 Baldwin Ave., Makawao); 808572-5979; viewpointsgallerymaui.com; artinfo@viewpointsgallerymaui.com

SUNDAY, FEB 17

STANDARD FIRST AID WITH CPR/AED ADULT TRAINING - Get trained to recognize and care for victims of illness and sudden injuries and learn how to use an AED for life-threatening respiratory or cardiac emergencies on adults; ARC certification upon completion. This course will be held as an online/classroom blended learning course.

Classes are based on availability and subject to change. $90 (register online or call). 4-6pm American Red Cross, (45 N. Market St., Suite A, Wailuku); 1-800-733-2767; redcross.org MIDWINTER NIGHT’S DREAM - See This Week’s Picks. $5 per person (all ages). 6-9pm Makawao Union Church Community Hall, (1445 Baldwin Ave.); 808-579-9261; rootsmaui.com MAUI OPEN STUDIOS EVENT 2013 - Selfguided tours of artist studios and exhibition spaces are as follows: Weekend 2: Central, Road to Hana and Hana - Sat and Sun, Feb 16 and 17.

Weekend 3: North and Upcountry - Sat and Sun, Feb 23 and 24. Visit website for interactive Google maps and artist directories to help design your tours. Twitter: @MauiOS / Facebook: MauiOpenStudios. Free. 11am-6pm; mauiopenstudios.com; mauiopenstudios@gmail.com

CHINESE NEW YEAR CELEBRATION - Au’s Shaolin Arts Society visits from Oahu to kick off “The Year of the Snake” with a traditional display of martial arts mastery, firecrackers and the colorful lion dance. Come and get “bit” for good luck in the new year. Free. 2-5pm Center Court, Queen Ka‘ahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-877-3369; queenkaahumanucenter.com DANIEL HO UKULELE WORKSHOP & LIVE PERFORMANCE - Free (RSVP by email). 2-4pm Stella Blues Cafe - Azeka II Shopping Center, (1279 S.Kihei Rd, Kihei); 808-71-1141; danielho. com; rsvp@bountymusic.com MEET THE ARTIST SERIES - Meet artist Johann Meya, a photographer born in Germany, but spent much of his childhood living between Maui, Oahu, Florida, Japan, and Germany; however, he considers Hawaii home.

After many travels around the world, he uses his lifelong passion of photography to express his appreciation of home. Through photography, he celebrates his Ohana, the “Aloha spirit” of the Islands and people, and the splendor of Hawaii’s natural beauty. Light refreshments will be provided. Free. 4:30pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

MONDAY, FEB 18 LAHAINA CANOE CLUB KEIKI PRE-REGISTRATION MEETING - Coach Franklin has called for a pre-registration/ general update meeting 9-9:45am. Any keiki members interested in paddling in the 2013 regatta season try their best to attend this very important meeting. 9am Lahaina Hale, Canoe Beach, lahainacanoeclub.com; bod@lahainacanoeclub.net

HULA PERFORMANCE BY TE TIARE PATITIFA - Free. 10:30am Queen Kaahumanu Center, (275 W. Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Kahului); 808-8773369; queenkaahumanucenter.com WHALE WATCHING - The Hawaiian Islands Humpback Whale National Marine Sanctuary will provide a whale watching info booth at the Aquarium’s Harbor Plaza throughout whale season. Join expert volunteers at the Sanctuary’s booth as they share fascinating facts about Humpbacks and help you with spotting whales and interpreting their behaviors. 9am-1pm Maui Ocean Center, (192 Ma‘alaea Rd.); 808-2707000; hawaiihumpbackwhale.noaa.gov

TUESDAY, FEB 19 BLOOD BANK OF HAWAII BLOOD DRIVE The requirements to be a blood donor are simple: Be in good health, Be 18 years of age or older (17 with signed Blood Bank of Hawaii parent/legal guardian consent form), Weigh 110 pounds or more and Bring a valid photo ID with date of birth. 9am-4:30pm Multipurpose Room, Baldwin High School, (1650 Kaahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 800-372-9966; BBH.org BUSINESS ON THE GRILL - Bring your business challenge to this Maui Business Brainstormers monthly meeting or submit your business to be grilled. Free (online RSVP required). 11:30am1:30pm Maui County Business Resource Center, (Maui Mall, 70 E Ka‘ahumanu Ave. #B-9, Kahului); meetup.com/MauiBusinessBrainstormers MAUI WEIGHT LOSS ALLIANCE - Meet Jerome, Nutritarian Extraordinaire at Whole Foods for a special class on revitalizing your health & wellness. Participants will learn tools, techniques and strategies that are specific to, and effective for, permanent healthy weight.

The program advocates a whole food, nutrientdense, plant-strong diet and will emphasize vegetables, fruits, whole grains, legumes, nuts and seeds. To sign up, visit their Customer Service or call. Free. 6pm Whole Foods Market, (70 Ka‘ahumanu Ave #B, Kahului); 808872-3310; wholefoodsmarket.com/maui

FEBRUARY 14, 2013 23

VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI!

SATURDAY FEB 16th

A WHALE CELEBRATION AFTERPARTY WITH LIVE MUSIC BY

MONDOKANE BAND HALEMANU & DA HUI

HOT APPLE PIE ALSO SPECIAL GUESTS

SHOW STARTS AT 6PM-CLOSE VOTED BEST HAPPY HOUR ON MAUI!

1819 S. KIHEI RD. • 891.2414 11AM-2AM DAILY • DINNER ‘TIL 10PM

ALL NEW SHOW

Tony Novak-Clifford Photo

HARD ROCK AND MAUI TRIBE PRESENT

WILLIE K BLUES REVIEW Featuring Mike Carroll, Bobby Ingram & More!

NO COVER SATURDAY | FEB. 23RD | 7PM | 21+ AFTER 10PM

24 FEBRUARY 14, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/14

2/15

2/16

2/17

2/18-2/20

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

ISANA 515 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-8199

JAVA JAZZ 3350 L. Honoapiilani Rd. - 667-0787

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

Guest Performer 7pm - close; no cover

Rick Glencross 7pm - close; no cover

JAY’S PLACE

1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 875-7711

KIMO’S 845 Front St., Lahaina - 661-4811

Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm - close; no cover

Live Music 10pm-close; no cover

Wharf Cinema Center, Front St., Lahaina - 661-6699

KAHALE’S

WED - Karaoke

WED - Live Music, 10pm-close; no cover

Kawika 7pm; no cover

Kenny Roberts 7pm; no cover

Eight Track Players 7pm; no cover

John Grover 7pm; no cover

MON - That’s What I’m Talking About TUE - Da Ha-y-ans / WED - Herb Anderson (all sets 7pm; no cover)

1810 6:30-8:30; no cover

Danyel Alana & Co. 9-11pm; no cover

1810 8-10pm; no cover

Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa, 6-8pm

MON - Benny & Glenn, 6-8pm / TUE-WED Sam Ahia, 6:30-8:30pm (both sets no cover)

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

Karaoke w/ “Auntie” Toddy Lilikoi, 9:30pm; no cover

KOBE STEAKHOUSE 136 Dickenson St. (Lounge Area), Lahaina - 667-5555

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR

MON - Trivia Night, 7pm; no cover WED - Ladies Night, 10pm; no cover

843 Waine’e St., Lahaina - 667-6655

L‘AVA SPORTS BAR & KARAOKE 1088 Lower Main St., Wailuku - 244-4888

Free Karaoke

LILIKOI RESTAURANT & WINE BAR 810 Haiku Rd., Haiku - 575-2629

Free Pool

Free Pool

Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues Co., 7:30-10pm

Live Music 7:30-10pm; no cover

Free Pool

LONGHI’S LAHAINA Lahaina Cannery Mall - 661-0808

MERRIMAN’S

MON-WED - Free Pool

TUE - Johnny Ringo, 8-10pm; no cover

888 Front St., Lahaina - 667-2288

LULU’S LAHAINA

MON - Farzad & Mike Madden / TUE Farzad & Mike Madden / WED - Tracy Stiles (all sets 7pm-close; no cover)

Howard Ahia 6-9pm; no cover

Allure “I Heart EDM” w/ DJ Jay P & DJ LX, 10pm; $10

MON - S.I.N. w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover WED - Krazy Karaoke, 10:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; no cover

MON - David Wolfberg / TUE - The Benoits WED - Ranga Pae (all 5:30-8:30pm)

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE

Murray Thorne, 6:30-8:30pm; no cover / Willie K, 7-9pm; $75 per person for dinner & show

Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-8:30pm; no cover

The Celtic Tigers w/ bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; no cover

MON - Joyce & Gord, 6:30pm / TUE Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks, 7-8pm WED - Willie K, 7-9pm; $65 dinner & show

OCEANS BAR & GRILL

Live Salsa Music w/ Neito & Barbara, 7:30-10pm

1 Bay Club Pl., Kapalua - 669-6400

100 Kaukahi St., Wailea - 874-1131

1819 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 891-2414

WEDNESDAY, FEB 20 BLOOD BANK OF HAWAII BLOOD DRIVE The requirements to be a blood donor are simple: Be in good health, Be 18 years of age or older (17 with signed Blood Bank of Hawaii parent/legal guardian consent form), Weigh 110 pounds or more and Bring a valid photo ID with date of birth.

7am-2:30pm Auditorium, Cameron Center, (95 Mahalani St., Wailuku); 800-372-9966; BBH.org STATE OF THE COUNTY ADDRESS - Mayor Alan Arakawa will deliver a State of the County Address highlighting the County’s achievements in 2012, outline plans for the coming year, and discuss issues presently facing the County. Families are welcome to attend and pupus will be served follow. Free (RSVPs encouraged but not required). 4pm Baldwin High School, (1650 Ka‘ahumanu Ave., Wailuku); 808-270-7855; jock.yamaguchi@mauicounty.gov KIPAHULU COMMUNITY MEETING - The public is invited to attend a community meeting to meet park staff, learn more about the park, follow-up on previously discussed topics, get updates on the Commercial Services Plan and the Kipahulu Comprehensive Site Plan and raise and discuss new matters. Free. 5-6:30pm Kalena Triangle, (Kipahulu); 808-572-4445; howard_forbes@nps.gov WOW! WAILEA ON WEDNESDAYS - The Shops at Wailea hosts their weekly arts and entertainment series, featuring a performance by Bobby Moderow Jr. of the band Maunalua in the lower courtyard and a slew of shop-to-shop specials. Free. 6:30-8pm The Shops at Wailea, Lower Courtyard, (3750 Wailea Alanui); 808-897-6770 ext. 2; theshopsatwailea. com / @ShopsAtWailea on Twitter

DINNER MUSIC WEST MAUI CAPTAIN JACK’S ISLAND GRILL - Wed, Justin Phillips 7-9:30pm; Thu, Adam Masterson 7-9:30pm;

Whale Day After Party w/ Mondokane Band and Halemanu & The Hui, 6pm

Fri, Emily Joyce 7-9:30pm; Sat, Jonny Ringo 7-9:30pm; Sun, Will Hartzag 7-9:30pm; Mon, Dave Carroll 7-9:30pm; Tue, Jordan Cuddy 7-9:30pm.

(672 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0988.

4pm; Mon, Derick Sebastian & Josh Kahula 6:30pm; Every Sun, Tue, Fri & Sat, Kawika Lum Ho 11am. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pwy., Bldg P); 808-667-6636.

COOL CAT CAFE - Wed, Jordan Cuddy 7:3010pm; Thu, Barefoot Minded 7:30-10pm; Fri, Jonny Ringo 7:30-10pm; Sat, Dave Carroll 7:3010pm; Sun, Emily Joyce 7:30-10pm; Mon, Peter D 7:30-10pm; Tue, Jazz 7:30-10pm. (Wharf Cinema Center, 658 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-0908.

JAVA JAZZ/SOUP NUTZ - Every Thu & Sat, Rick Glencross 7pm; Fri, Guest Performer 7pm; Fri, Tracy Stiles 7pm; Every Sun, Mon & Tue, Farzad & Mike Madden 7pm. (3350 L. Honoapiilani Hwy. #203 & 204, Honokowai); 808-667-0787.

DUKE’S BEACH HOUSE - Every Tue & Thu, Ben 3-5pm; Every Mon & Tue, Eddie & Alika 6-8:30pm; Daily, Hula Performance 6:30pm; Every Mon & Wed, Brian 3-5pm; Wed, Daniel & Kahala 6-8:30pm; Thu, Garrett & Peter 6-8:30pm; Fri, Garrett 3-5pm; Every Fri & Sat, Damon & Ron Oversize Productions 6-8:30pm; Sat, Tim 3-5pm; Sun, Fausto 3-5pm; Sun, Damon & Tim 6-8:30pm; Fri, Henry Kapono 5-7pm. (130 Kai Malina Pkwy., Lahaina); 808-662-2900.

FIVE PALMS LAHAINA - Daily, Live Entertainment Nightly 5:30-8:30pm. (1450 Front St.); 808-661-0937.

HARD ROCK CAFE - Fri, Evan Shulman 6-9pm.

(900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-667-7400.

HULA GRILL - Tue, Jarrett Roback 1:30pm; Daily, Hula Grill Happy Hour 3-5pm; Tue, Damon & Ron 4pm; Tue, Wili Pohaku & Peter DeAquino 6:30pm; Every Mon, Wed & Thu, Ernest Pua’a 11am; Wed, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Wed, Peter DeAquino 4pm; Wed, Ernest Pua’a & Friends 6:30pm; Thu, Alika Nakaoka 1:30pm; Thu, Kaniala Masoe 4pm; Thu, Kulewa 6:30pm; Fri, Kaniala Masoe 1:30pm; Every Sun, Fri & Sat, 1810 4pm; Fri, Kawika, Roy & Albert 6:30pm; Sat, Ron, Ikaika & Damon 1:30pm; Sat, Damon/Ron/Keali’i 6:30pm; Sun, Danyel Alana 1:30pm; Sun, Derick Sebastian Trio 6:30pm; Mon, Kawika Lum Ho 1:30pm; Mon, Armadillo & Derek

KAHANA GRILL - Sat, Ray Gooliak Guitar 7-9pm; Thu, Johnny Ringo Guitar 7-9pm. (4405 Honoapiilani Hwy Ste. 301, Lahaina); 808-669-4000.

KIMO’S - Thu, 1810 6:30-8:30pm; Sat, 1810 8-10pm; Every Sun & Mon, Benny Uyetake & Glenn Kakagawa 6-8pm; Every Tue & Wed, Sam Ahia 6:308:30pm. (845 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-4811.

LAHAINA PIZZA COMPANY - Every Wed, Thu & Fri, John Kane 7:30-9:30pm; Sat, Harry Troupe 7:30-9:30pm; Sun, Greg Di Piazza 7:30-9:30pm; Every Mon & Tue, Martin Tevaga 7:30-9:30pm.

(730 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-0700.

LAHAINA SPORTS BAR - Mon, Trivia 7-9pm.

(843 Wainee St., Unit 1 & 2); 808-667-6655.

LEILANI’S ON THE BEACH - Fri, JD & Friends 3-5pm; Sat, JD & Harry 3-5pm; Sun, Merv Oana 3-5pm; Thu, Jarret & Wilson 3-5pm. (Whaler’s Village, 2435 Ka’anapali Pkwy. Bldg. J); 808-661-4495.

LONGBOARDS KA’ANAPALI - Every Tue, Wed, Thu & Fri, Solo guitarist 5:30-8:30pm. (100 Nohea Kai Dr.); 808-667-1200.

LULU’S LAHAINA SURF CLUB & GRILL Thu, Howard Ahia 6-8pm; Wed, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm. (Lahaina Cannery Mall, 1221 Honoapiilani Hwy. #A1); 808-661-0808.

MERRIMAN’S - Daily (except Mon & Tue), Ranga Pae 5:30-8:30pm; Mon, David Wolfberg 5:308:30pm; Tue, The Benoits 5:30-8:30pm. (1 Bay Club Pl., Lahaina); 808-669-6400.

WED - Gina Martinelli, 7:30-10pm; no cover

LIST YOUR EVENT! Post your free online listing (up to 15 months early), and our editors will consider your submission for the printed calendar as well. Print listings are also free, but subject to space limitations. Online, you can include a full description of your event, a photo and a link to your Web site. Go to mauitime.com/ listing and start posting events.

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Use MauiTime’s free calendar to browse hundreds of events online. Art galleries, family events, education classes, film and literary events, church groups, music, sports, volunteer opportunities—all this and more on our free events calendar at mauitime.com/calendar.

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FEBRUARY 14, 2013 25

HAPPY HOUR 3-6PM/DINNER MUSIC LIVE MUSIC ON THE PATIO 7 DAYS A WEEK FROM 4:3 4 :30 TTILL :3 ILLLL 9P ILL 9 PM PM 4:30 9PM

THURSDAY HURSDAY 2.14 .

VALENTINE’S DINNER

4 COURSE MEAL $45 $

FRIDAY 2.15 CHOCOLATE COVERED STRAWBERRIES

ALL STAR REGGAE BAND W/

F O L L O W US!

10PM • $10 COVER

SATURDAY 2.16

INNAVISION 10PM • $5 COVER

SUNDAY NDAY 2.17

LOUISE LAMBERT 6:30PM • NO COVER

WEDNESDAY 2.20

BLUES WITH THE

HOUSE SHAKERS 8:30PM • NO COVER

808.879.3133

1945 S Kihei Road, Suite G

ROOTS School presents

Midwinter Night’s Dream A Festival Inspired By The Renaissance Faire The honor of your presence is requested

Saturday, February 16th 6pm until 9pm

Games ~ Entertainment ~ Food ~ Performances ~ Silent Auction & More

5 admission per person ~ Costumes Encouraged

$

Makawao Union Church Community Hall 1445 Baldwin Avenue, Makawao HI 96768 All proceeds Bene¿t ROOTS a school providing children with Real Ongoing Opportunities To Soar ROOTS is a 501c3 organization

26 FEBRUARY 14, 2013

TheGRID

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

SUNDAY

MONDAY-WEDNESDAY

2/14

2/15

2/16

2/17

2/18-2/20

FIND THE GRID ONLINE AT MAUITIME.COM/GRID OR TO HAVE YOUR BUSINESS ADDED TO OUR WEEKLY GRID SEND YOUR INFORMATION TO CALENDAR@MAUITIME.COM

PARADISE GRILL (MELLOS) Mellos Bar, 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

PARADISE GRILL 2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy., Lahaina - 662-3700

Roots Night 10pm-1am; no cover

Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Dance Party w/ DJ Ron 10pm-1:30am

Open Mic w/ Local Artists 10pm-1am; no cover

MON - Whiskey Pimps / TUE - Industry Night w/ DJ Ron / WED - Johnny Ringo (all 10pm)

Harry Troupe 6-9pm; no cover

Salsa Dance Party w/ Rafael, 10pm, $5 cover

Kory Kukahiku 6-9pm; no cover

Hawaiian Music w/ Deeson, 6-9pm; no cover

MON - Marvin Taraga, 6-9pm / TUE - Johnny Ringo, 6-9pm / WED - Victoria Holman 6-9pm

RB STEAKHOUSE

WED - Open Mic Night, 9:30pm; no cover

4465 Honoapiilani Hwy., Lahaina - 669-8889

SANSEI - KAPALUA 115 Bay Dr., Lahaina - 669-6286

SANSEI - KIHEI 1881 S. Kihei Rd., Ste. KT116, Kihei - 879-0004

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE 1913 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-6444

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Free Karaoke 10pm-1am; no cover

Island Thursday w/ DJ Blast, 10pm; no cover

DJ Gemini & DJ Ynot 10pm; no cover

DJ Salvo 10pm-close; no cover

Rob+Ron=R2 9pm-midnight; no cover

Natalie 9pm-midnight; no cover

Bad Kitty 8pm; no cover

Andy Kaina & the Kaina Country Band, 8:30pm

V-Day Supper Club with Hapa, 6-9pm; $60 dinner & show, $30 show Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

SPORTS PAGE GRILL & BAR 2411 S. Kihei Rd. #B4 - 879-0602

STEEL HORSE SALOON 1234 L. Main St., Wailuku - 243-2206

STELLA BLUES CAFE 1279 S. Kihei Rd., Kihei - 874-3779

STOPWATCH SPORTS BAR 1127 Makawao Ave., Makawao - 572-1380

R.S. SHARKY’S 41 E. Lipoa St., Kihei - 874-6115

WATERCRESS Waiehu Beach Center, Wailuku-243-9351

OCEAN POOL BAR & GRILL - Mon, Ukulele/ Lounge 4-7pm; Fri, Ukulele/Lounge 4-7pm. (6 Ka’i Ala D., Lahaina); 808-667-3200.

PAILOLO BAR & GRILL - Every Tue, Wed & Thu, Ukulele/Pop 5-8pm. (6 Ka’i Ala Dr., Lahaina); 8088-667-3200.

PARADISE GRILL - Wed, Victoria Holman 6-9pm; Thu, Harry Troupe 6-9pm; Fri, Scotty Rotten 6-9pm; Sat, Kory Kukahiku 6-9pm; Sun, Deeson (Hawaiian Music) 6-9pm; Mon, Marvin Taraga 6-9pm; Tue, Johnny Ringo 6-9pm. (2291 Ka’anapali Pkwy.); 808-662-3700.

PINEAPPLE GRILL - Thu, Island Rhythm Sounds of Josh Kahula of Nuff Sedd 7-10pm; Fri, Brother Damien’s Ocean Beach Party 8-10pm; Sat, Island Sounds with Alika & Eddie 7-10pm; Wed, Jazz Sounds of Fulton Tashombe 6-9pm. (200 Kapalua Dr.); 808-669-9600.

PIONEER INN GRILL & BAR - Wed, JD on the Rocks 5-8pm; Thu, Greg di Piazza feat. Alana Cini 5:30-8:30pm; Tue, Ah-Tim Elenicki 5:30-8:30pm.

(658 Wharf St., Lahaina); 808-661-8881.

RB BLACK ANGUS STEAKHOUSE - Sun, Live Jazz 3-6pm. (4465 Honoapi‘ilani Hwy., Lahaina); 808-669-8889.

RUTH’S CHRIS STEAK HOUSE - Every Sun & Sat, Live Jazz 6-9pm. (900 Front St., Lahaina); 808-661-8815.

SEA HOUSE RESTAURANT, NAPILI KAI BEACH RESORT - Every Mon & Wed, Albert Kaina 7-9pm; Every Sun & Sat, Andrew Kaina 7-9pm; Every Tue, Thu & Fri, Kincaid Kupahu 7-9pm.

(5900 Lower Honoapiilani Hwy.); 808-669-1500.

SOUTH MAUI AMBROSIA - Thu, Jamie Gallo 7pm; Mon, The Jonah Project Live 8pm; Wed, Red Carpet Movie Night: Mean Girls 7:30pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-1011.

BEACH BUMS BAR & GRILL - Every Sun &

Kekona Ohana 8:30pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 4pm; no cover

MON - Mahalo Monday / TUE - Pool Leagues, 6pm / WED - 80’s Night, 8pm (no cover)

Supper Club with Erin Smith, 6-9pm; $60 dinner & show, $30 show

Supper Club with John Cruz, 6-9pm; $60 dinner & show, $30 show

Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; no cover

MON - Mike Finkiewicz, 4-6pm; no cover / TUE - Power Up Comedy Open Mic, 8:30pm; no cover / WED - Randall Rospond, 4-6pm

Michael Gailinas, 5:30pm Head High, 8:30pm; $4

Karaoke w/ Dudley 9pm-12am; no cover

TUE - Trivia Night, 7pm / WED - Brenton Keith & His Bag O’Tricks; 7pm; no cover Chocolate Covered Strawberries, 10pm; $10

Innavision 10pm; $5

Louise Lambert 6:30pm; no cover

WED - Blues with The House Shakers, 8:30pm; no cover

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

Karaoke

MON through WED- Karaoke

Twisted Thursdays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Forbidden Fridays w/ Party Rock Krew 10pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

Free Karaoke 9pm; no cover

MON - Free Karaoke, 9pm / TUE - Free Karaoke, 9pm / WED - Singles’ Night w/ X-Klusive Sounds Productions, 10pm (All sets no cover)

1945 S Kihei Rd., Kihei - 879-3133

1424 L. Main St., Wailuku - 249-0052

MON - DJ Big Mike, 10pm / TUE - DJ Salvo, 10pm / WED - Ladies Night DJ Decka, 10pm

All Ages Karaoke 7pm; no cover

THREE’S BAR & GRILL TIFFANY’S

Kanoa 10pm-close; no cover

Wed, Mark Burnett 5-8pm; Every Thu & Sat, Kenny Roberts 5-8pm; Fri, Tom Cherry & Mike Finkiewicz 5-8pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 5-8pm.

(300 Ma‘alaea Rd. #1M); 808-243-2286.

CAPISCHE? - Sat, Mark Johnstone with Marcus Johnson 7-10pm; Fri, Mark Johnstone 7-10pm.

(555 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-879-2224.

DIAMONDS ICE BAR & GRILL - Sun, Gina Martinelli 6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd. #314); 808-874-9299.

HAUI’S LIFE’S A BEACH - Thu, Emily Joice 4-8pm; Sat, Ryan Robinson 4-8pm; Every Tue, Wed & Fri, Rick Glencross 4-8pm. (1913 S. Kihei Rd. #E); 808-891-8010.

JUST WING IT! - Every Fri & Sat, Chicken Boxing 5-7pm. (225 Pi‘ikea Ave., Kihei); 808-875-9464.

KAMAOLE POOLSIDE CAFE - Wed, Steve Sargenti 6-9pm; Thu, Kawika Lum Ho 6-9pm; Fri, Gina Martinelli 6-9pm; Sat, Ron Shadian 6-9pm; Sun, Kenny Roberts 6-9pm; Mon, Rama Camarillo 6-9pm; Tue, Mike & Mark 6-9pm. (2259 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-891-8860.

MONKEYPOD KITCHEN - Tue, Kilohana 7-9pm; Wed, Alejandro 4-6pm; Wed, Jarret & Wilson 7-9pm; Thu, Tom Cherry 4-6pm; Thu, Tom Cherry and Mike Finkiewicz 7-9pm; Fri, Wolf 4-6pm; Fri, Alika Naka’oka 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Alika 7-9pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Randall Rospond 7-9pm; Sun, Alika Naka’oka 4-6pm; Sun, Kilohana 7-9pm; Mon, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Mon, Tarvin Makia 7-9pm; Tue, Randall Rospond 4-6pm. (10 Wailea Gateway Pl., Unit B-201); 808-891-2322.

MONSOON INDIA - Sat, Cambria Moss & Ricardo Dioso 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, The Hula Honeys 5:30-8:30pm. (760 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-875-4555.

MULLIGAN’S ON THE BLUE - Wed, Hawaiian Steel Guitar 5:30-6:30pm; Wed, Willie K. 7-9pm; Thu, Murray Thorne 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Willie K 7-9pm; Fri, Sebrina Barron 6:30-8:30pm; Sat,

Soul Kitchen Trio 6:30-8:30pm; Sun, The Celtic Tigers w/ Bagpiper Allison Jackson 6:30-9:30pm; Mon, Joyce and Gord 6:30-8:30pm; Tue, Brenton Keith and his Bag O’ Tricks 7-8pm. (100 Kaukahi St., Wailea); 808-874-1131.

PITA PARADISE WAILEA - Sun, Benoit Jazzworks 5:30-7:30pm. (34 Wailea Gateway Plaza); 808-879-7177.

R.S. SHARKY’S FAMILY RESTAURANT - Thu, Karaoke 7pm; Wed, Brenton Keith & His Bag O’ Tricks 7pm. (41 E. Lipoa St., Suite 15, Kihei); 808-874-5115.

SOUTH SHORE TIKI LOUNGE - Wed, Mark Johnstone 4-6pm; Thu, Jaime Gallo 4-6pm; Fri, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Sat, Tom Conway 4-6pm; Sun, Viva La Rumba 4-6pm; Mon, Kanoa 4-6pm; Tue, Sebrina Barron 4-6pm. (Kihei Kalama Village, 1913 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-874-6444.

STELLA BLUES CAFE - Wed, Randall Rospond 4-6pm; Thu, Ah Tim 4-6pm; Fri, Ahumanu 4-6pm; Sat, Vince Esquire & Kaulana 4-6pm; Sun, Jamie Lawrence 4-6pm; Mon, Mike Finkiewicz 4-6pm; Tue, Tom Conway 4-6pm. (1279 S. Kihei Rd., #201); 808-874-3779.

TAQUERIA CRUZ - Every Tue & Sat, Live Music Reggae, Jazz, Blues 5:30-8:30pm. (2395 S. Kihei Rd. #112); 808-875-2910.

THE RED BAR AT GANNON’S, A PACIFIC VIEW RESTAURANT - Thu, Fulton Tashombe & Special Guests 6-8pm; Tue, Braddah Larry Golis 6-8pm. (Wailea Golf Club House, 100 Wailea Golf Club Dr.); 808-875-8080.

THREE’S BAR & GRILL - Every Sun, Mon & Wed, Hawaiian Music 5-8pm; Sun, Louise Lambert 6:30-9pm; Every Tue, Thu, Fri & Sat, Acoustic with Chad Kaya 5-8pm. (1945 S. Kihei Rd.); 808-879-3133.

TOMMY BAHAMA’S TROPICAL CAFE - Every Thu & Fri, Margie Heart 5:30-9:30pm; Every Sun & Sat, Howard Ahia 5:30-9:30pm; Mon, Greg

Di Piazza 5:30-9:30pm; Wed, Merv Oana 5:309:30pm. (3750 Wailea Alanui Dr.); 808-875-9983.

CENTRAL MAUI CAFE O’LEI AT THE DUNES AT MAUI LANI - Every Fri & Sat, Phil and Angela Benoit 5:308pm; Thu, Reiko Fukina 5:30-8pm. (1333 Maui Lani Pkwy., Kahului); 808-877-0073.

WAILUKU COFFEE COMPANY - Fri, Live Music 4-6pm. (28 N. Market St., Wailuku).

UPCOUNTRY MAUI CAFE DES AMIS - Mon, Mark Johnstone 6:308:30pm. (42 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-6323.

CHARLEY’S RESTAURANT & SALOON Sat, Cindy Kalmenson 6:30-8:30pm; Wed, Evan Dove & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Thu, Thursday Night Blues with Thunder & Lightning 6:30-8:30pm; Mon, Live Band Open Mic & Jam 7-10pm; Tue, Taco Tuesday with Howard Ahia & Friends 6:30-8:30pm; Fri, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (142 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8085.

FLATBREAD COMPANY - Mon, Wes Furumoto 6-9pm. (89 Hana Hwy., Paia); 808-579-8989.

HANA HOU CAFE - Tue, Hipnautical 6-9pm.

(810 Haiku Rd.); 808-575-2661.

LILIKOI GRILL RESTAURANT & WINE BAR Sat, Meaghan Owens 7:30-10pm; Fri, Blues Jam hosted by Maui Blues & Co. 7:30-10pm. (810 Kokomo Rd., Suite 186, Haiku); 808-575-2629.

MOANA BAKERY & CAFE - Thu, Miss Meaghan Owens 6:30-8:30pm. (71 Baldwin Ave., Paia); 808-579-9999.

NORTHSHORE CAFE - Fri, Makana 7-9pm; Sun, Troublemakers Trio 7-10:30pm; Tue, Ryan - Keyboards from Brooklyn 7-9pm. (824 Kokomo Rd., Haiku); 808-575-2770.

PAIA BAY CAFE - Sun, Hawaiian Steel Guitar w/ Joel Katz 9-11am. (43 Hana Hwy.); 808-579-3111.

FEBRUARY 14, 2013 27

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Horoscope

Sign Language

BY CAERIEL CRESTIN AQUARIUS (JAN. 20-FEB. 18) Let it get scary. I know, scary doesn’t exactly fit in with your view of a harmonious and sweet life. But it should; because when things start getting really close and really real, they also get at least a little terrifying.

Don’t settle for mediocre pleasantry, not when the real deal is so close you can touch it. It may seem like trouble—hell, it may even be trouble. But take my word that it’s the good kind of trouble, the type that stirs things up and whose silver lining is so magnificent it soon outshines the black thunderhead that preceded it. Stop running, or if you can’t do that, do this: When you see the good kind of trouble, run towards it.

PISCES (FEB. 19-MARCH 20) Don’t focus on the rare occasions when people have complained of having to walk on eggshells around you, or that you’re too sensitive. For your own sake and theirs, focus on your incomparable compassion. I’ve never seen you reject someone for his or her weaknesses, flaws, or vulnerabilities. Although it’s unfair that anyone should cite your sensitivity as cause for wariness, let it go. What people need from you right now is openheartedness. If it helps you get to that place, know this: most of the time when people criticize others, they’re actually, in some way, talking about themselves.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 19) Screw the New Age jargon. That’s bullshit. I’d rather give it to you straight; the bartender’s closing time advice. So, sit down: We both know you’re great; in fact, your shine is turned up a little brighter than it’s been in ages. But that ego… the bottom line is, it’s getting in the way of the final evolutionary step of your current head-trip. The moment you accept that the only person whose world revolves around you is you— as unjust as that surely is—will be the moment you can finally let yourself have what you’ve wanted all along.

TAURUS (APRIL 20-MAY 20) In Edgar Allen Poe’s The Tell-tale Heart, the narrator is moved to confess his murderous crime by the sound, real or imagined, of his victim’s heart, beating from beneath the floorboards where he’s hidden it. Your own flooring’s been talking too, and not just with the noise of your annoying downstairs neighbor. Is it a colony of mice? Or is it your guilty conscience, throbbing with pangs of your own? It doesn’t matter that your “crime” is minor, and may not be a crime at all, except in your mind. What matters is that you clean up the messes that the vermin, furry or emotional, are living off of.

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20) In your eagerness to shirk definitions—even the expansive ones accompanying your Gemini-ness—you’ve recently missed out on opportunities that could only spring from concrete self-knowledge. You know, it’s not such a bad idea to occasionally nail down what you’re all about—it gives you an idea of what you have left to transcend. Whether you read up on your astrological birthright, your enneagrammatical placement, or your 4-letter personality type, this week attach a definition to what you’re supposed to be about. Then and only then can you get a loose grip on who you actually are.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 22) You could try wearing a crocheted hippy pouch equipped with crystals, sacred herbs, and fluorescent rabbits’ feet. You could paper your walls with tinfoil, and submit to self-imposed house arrest.

You could employ legions of voodoo witches, bone women, and snake oil salesmen. But I wouldn’t recommend any of these methods of curse-deflection, however necessary that may seem this week, not when a virtually guaranteed curse-dodging technique is available: See, esoteric phenomena like curses feed on your belief in them (thus all the aforementioned methods only make them more effective). Therefore, your best bet is: don’t acknowledge its existence. In fact, even paying this much attention to it is dangerous. Walk away, right now, and never mention the damn thing again.

LEO (JULY 23-AUG. 22) So far, you think there’s simply no such thing as too much of a good thing. Unfortunately, this week carries a slightly harsh lesson on how magnificent blessings can come with unpleasant repercussions. So that this week’s lucky breaks don’t catch you off guard, here’s an example of what I mean: Imagine having to choose between the once-in-a-lifetime job opportunity you’ve waited years for and the person you’re madly in love with. Even if the choice seems obvious, you may wish you never had to make it. Do yourself a favor, though.

Blessings require enjoyment; once you’ve made your decision, milk the path you’ve chosen for all it’s worth, and let go of the one you had to leave behind.

VIRGO (AUG. 23-SEPT. 22) What would it take to hold your interest, Virgo?

Should your lover develop multiple personality disorder to keep you entertained, or take up employment as a secret agent, circus performer, or mad scientist just so you’re never bored with them? Is the secret to keeping you around that we should run away from you, but not so fast that you can’t keep up? Hell if I know. But I’m sure of one thing; once you figure out the answers to these questions, the odds go way up that someone else might actually get them, too.

LIBRA (SEPT. 23-OCT. 22) The mutant X-man Cyclops must wear a ruby visor to shield people from the devastating force of a concussive beam that’s constantly blasting from his eyes. Sounds a bit like your recently discovered new superpower, eh? You’ve long been aware of the healing potential of your loving attention, but you’ve never before brandished such might when it comes to tearing down people’s walls, almost without trying. This ability hasn’t consistently shown before because you weren’t ready to wisely wield it. Now, you are—just barely. Your greatest challenge in the weeks to come will be learning when to don your version of the ruby visor and when to take it off.

SCORPIO (OCT. 23-NOV. 21) Although your lovers are drawn to you because of the exciting possibility of the tender, deep, real, intense passion you offer, they’re not as consistently brave as you are. Sometimes—like this week, they can’t take so much unremitting intensity. I’m sure you’re familiar with the potent desire to feel safe, secure, and taken care of. What may surprise you is how good you can be at providing that sanctuary. Since the one you adore needs that more than anything right now, can’t you lay off the intensity for a while and give it to them?

QUIZunderstood ANSWERS ...to questions from page 4

1: D–$135,696.

2: B–$90 million.

3: B–Rule only that the project did not meet the conditions imposed by the LUC back in 1995.

2013 INAUGURAL VICTORY GIRLS CALENDAR

tattoos by Rachel G

In-House In House now!

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SAGITTARIUS (NOV. 22-DEC. 21) Misery can be hilarious, even when you totally feel bad for the one suffering it; give a housecat a bath to know what I mean. And just like bathing the family pet, it’s occasionally your lot to inflict absolutely necessary misery on another being. Even though you can’t help occasionally meting out a bit of well-intentioned torment, you can also make it your constant aim to mitigate that anguish.

For instance, after his wretched bathtime, my dog gets an extended towel rubdown and a play session so long that by the time we’re done he’s completely forgotten what started the whole thing in the first place.

CAPRICORN (DEC. 22-JAN. 19) You know those questionable desires you sent to hibernate for the winter, like bears? Unfortunately, bears don’t actually hibernate—and neither do your cravings.

They may hunker down in cold weather and survive on stored fat, but eventually they’ll emerge from their caves, cranky, stinking, and hungry. What to do? You can’t simply let them go on a rampage, wreaking havoc with your life, eating the people you’re closest to. Nor can you happily kill them, confine them to a zoo for people to gawk at, or dress them up and make them ride unicycles to accordion music for loose change.

Your mistake has been to try to keep that desire (which is perfectly natural, like a bear) in chains. Set it free. I bet it will either run away before it gets you in trouble or find a happy place in the natural order of your life.

sign.language.astrology@gmail.com

FEBRUARY 14, 2013 29

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