Mature Focus February 2024

M A R C H 2 0 0 8 ~FEBRUARY P R I C E L E S S2024

C E L E B R A T I N G

L I F E

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309-292-3681 2 February 2024 • Mature Focus

features 6 10 15 26 42

The doctor is no longer in Lifetime warranty Phone hex A not-so-joyful noise Multitasking

February • 2024

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favorites 4 12 16 20 24 28 32

From The Desk Tinseltown Talks Humor Hotel Savvy Senior The History of Ordinary Things Midnight Gardener Talking Digital

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health 18 30 36

When your mouth hurts Shingles and the eye Does loneliness affect your health?

finance 14 34

The company you keep Know your Medicare options

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recipes 8 40

Breakfast to dinner Popcorn palooza

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games 22 23 29

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Mind Gym Super Crossword Trivia Test

extras 19 21 29 31 35

Moments in Time Now Here’s a Tip Strange But True All the News That’s Fit Mature Focus Volunteer Spotlight

Our Cover: Pick of The Litter © John Weiss, licensed by The Greenwich Workshop, Inc. greenwichworkshop.com.

24 Mature Focus • February 2024

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From the Desk of the Publisher ByKevin Ferris

When you’re driving on the nation’s highways be careful not to laugh. It’s not allowed. The federal government said so.

I’m not kidding.

The Federal Highway Administration (FHA) has directed all states to cease lighting up changeable electronic signs with messages that have an “obscure meaning,” references to pop culture,” or “intended to be humorous” and replace them with messages that are meaningful and to the point. Is GET OFF YOUR EXPLETIVE PHONE! direct enough?

Instead of the USE YAH BLINKAH sign that ran in Massachusetts and incorporated the famous Boston accent, the sign will now read USE YOUR BLINKER. And guess what? It won’t matter because people still won’t use their blinker.

The FHA has given states two years - until 2026 - to implement all the changes outlined in it’s new 1,100 page manual released in December, including rules that spell out how signs and other traffic control devices are regulated. If you didn’t catch that, let me repeat it. I’ll spell it out.

Eleven-hundred pages.

I’ll bet that’s some exciting reading.

CELEBRATING

32 YEARS

February 2024 • Vol. 32 • Issue Number 10

P.O. Box 1031 Moline, IL 61266-1031 (309) 277-2000 email: kevin@maturefocus92.com Facebook.com/MatureFocusQC

4 February 2024 • Mature Focus

Make sure to keep that next to your nightstand - as a sleep aid. That’s only 40 less pages than The Rise and Fall of the Third Reich which is the complete history of Nazi Germany from its inception to its final days. I read that book but 1,100 pages about traffic control devices, that doesn’t quite strike my fancy.

According to the agency, which is part of the U.S. Department of Transportation, the signs should always be “simple, direct, brief, legible and clear” and only used for important information such as warning drivers of crashes ahead, adverse weather conditions and traffic delays.

They don’t want the signs to be misconstrued by drivers or cause confusion to those who may not understand them. And we certainly wouldn’t want to distract people from their cellphones.

You tell me, are these soon-to-begone electronic messages difficult to understand?

“VISITING IN-LAWS? SLOW DOWN, GET THERE LATE” from Ohio.

“DON’T DRIVE STAR SPANGLED HAMMERED” from Pennsylvania.

“HOCUS POCUS, DRIVE WITH FOCUS” from New Jersey.

HANDS ON THE WHEEL, NOT YOUR MEAL” from Arizona.

For the last seven years, the state of Arizona has held a contest to find the funniest and most creative messages.

More than 3,700 entries were entered last year. The winners were “Seatbelts Publisher Kevin Ferris

Associate Publisher Schary SantAmour

always pass a vibe check” and “I’m just a sign asking drivers to use turn signals.” What’s the winning sign going to be in two years? “Stay within the speed limit and maintain a safe distance from the vehicle ahead. Drive responsibly.” Direct, simple, clear and boring. Perfect.

“The humor part of it, we kind of like,” said state Rep. David Cook. He doesn’t understand all the fuss. “Why are trying to have the federal government come in and tell us what we can do in our own state? Prime example that the federal government is not focusing on what they need to be.”

When this finally comes to pass, who’s going to decide if a message is too funny? Is that going to be someone’s job? The electronic message sign decipherer. He will then pull out his handy 1,100 page manual to determine if a sign is just a touch too funny or just boring enough.

Maybe it’s the highway sign monitoring specialist who reports to the signage operations technician under the auspices of the highway signage control manager.

You have two years.

Before, “HEY THERE, SPEEDY GONZALES! EASE OFF THE GAS PEDAL AND GIVE THE TORTOISES A CHANCE TO CATCH UP!” becomes this: PLEASE SLOW DOWN. We all know no matter what the signs say or how they say it, drivers still won’t do it.

Layout Design Tonya Ranum

Mature Focus, Inc. is a monthly newspaper, distributed to the greater Quad-City area, Geneseo, Muscatine, Aledo, DeWitt, Iowa City, Coralville, Cedar Rapids, North Liberty, Solon, and Tipton. It is designed to inform, serve, and entertain mature readers.

Publication of columnists’ views, as well as advertising herein, does not constitute endorsement. Mature Focus reserves the right to reject or edit any advertising.

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Mature Focus • February 2024

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Tuesdays with Mitch: This year, the doctor is no longer in - the computer

By Mitch Albom It’s not too late for a New Year’s resolution, is it? I am making one that you may want to adopt.

This year, I will not — NOT — search the internet for medical information.

I will no longer visit Dr. Google. I will break up with WebMD. I will cancel all appointments with healthline.com, NIH.gov, and CVS.com.

I swear it. No clicks. No scrolling.

No key search words. Not because medical websites are useless. To be fair, many contain a good deal of information.

Too much information.

Way too much information.

And most of us, including me, don’t know when to stop reading.

Last year, I had a tingling in my foot. I thought, “That’s harmless enough. There must be a home remedy.”

So I Googled it. And I came upon a site that said — in the very first paragraph! — something like, “When people get a tingling in their foot, they often think they have multiple sclerosis. But it can be many other things.”

Whoa! What the heck? It never entered my mind that I had multiple sclerosis! But after that click, the idea never exited. I spent many sleepless nights until I was finally able to visit a doctor who said, quite simply, that I had it all wrong. The foot tingling was from a slight nerve compression in my leg, and a few choice therapy exercises would make it go away.

Which eventually it did. I got my foot back to normal. What I never got back were all those days I had pegged myself as a certain victim of a severe disease.

That wasn’t the only time. Over the years, I have overreacted to indigestion (thought it was esophageal cancer), tension headaches (thought it was a brain tumor) and a strained muscle (thought it was lymphoma.)

All because I used the web as my

6 February 2024 • Mature Focus

Possible conditions: Brain tumor, multiple sclerosi s, esophogeal cancer, lymphoma, anxiety, GERD, alien hand syndrome, glomerulonephritis, Wieacher syndrome, Kawasak i disease, or it’s nothing.

doctor.

No more. I am locking myself out. I don’t care how many updates the Cleveland Clinic posts.

Maybe we know a little too much Let’s face it. The internet was designed by sadists. The kind of people who enjoy watching a man search site after site until he is certain that his slightly persistent headache means a parasite is living in his brain.

Which, if you read far enough down some web page, you’ll find. The problem is simple. Since the web can’t diagnose you, it provides all the information in the world to diagnose yourself.

And I mean ALL the information.

But most of us are terrible at selfdiagnosis. First of all, how do we know which site to trust? The web is chock full of amateur physicians whose pages sit right alongside those of the Mayo Clinic. Some are just trying to sell you supplements or a clinic visit. Which leads to massive confusion. You could easily search under “burping” and find every cause from Mexican food to heart disease.

Even worse is what we do once we think we know what we have. The typical medical website offers a multitude of action steps. These can range from homeopathic to idiosyncratic.

From ice packs to avocados. From “spend 30 minutes on these breathing exercises” to “see your surgeon immediately!”

And then comes the lists of medications. Talk about a rabbit hole.

Many pills, thankfully, require a pre-

scription. But there are enough over-the-counter remedies to try one after another with nothing but the internet to guide you. So you do what you think is smart, right?

You read … … the side effects.

Ooh. Bad move. Terrible move.

There are “common side effects,” “less common side effects,” “severe side effects,” “rare side effects.”

On the same list for a single medication you can find: Constipation.

Diarrhea.

Sleepiness.

Sleeplessness.

Depression.

Anxiety.

Talk about covering your bases.

The internet doesn't make everything better Recent studies show that upwards of 80% of Americans have used the internet for medical information.

Considering there are 330 million of us, that’s a lot of visits to Dr. Google.

And they don’t even have magazines in the waiting room.

Then again, reading Time or Newsweek while waiting for a physician was a better pastime than clicking yet another page, opening another chart or scrolling another online comment from someone who “thought I had a blister — until it turned out to be a malignant tumor.”

The biggest problem with Internet doctoring is that it can scare the bejesus out of you — for no reason. You end up with a laundry list of possible causes for your back pain, stomachache, ear ringing or finger numbness, and most likely they are nowhere close to the truth.

Then you arrive with all this information at a doctor’s appointment, and despite what they may tell you, you still think the web may be more correct.

- Albom, turn to page 41

Mature Focus • February 2024

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Whether you're encouraging loved ones to start a new wellness kick or looking to add new ideas to an already-nutritious menu, families at any stage of a journey toward better health can use newfound favorites to bring fresh flavors to the table.

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Mini Greek Yogurt Pancakes with Cinnamon-Maple Topping Total time: 25 minutes Servings:6 Topping: 1 3/4 cups plain Greek yogurt (fat free, 2% or 5%)

1/3 cup maple syrup 1/2 teaspoon ground cinnamon Pancakes: 1 cup all-purpose flour 2 tablespoons sugar 1 teaspoon baking powder 1/4 teaspoon baking soda 1/8 teaspoon salt 1 egg, lightly beaten 3/4 cup plain Greek yogurt (fat free, 2% or 5%) 1/2 cup milk (skim, 2% or whole) 3 tablespoons melted butter 1 teaspoon vanilla oil 1 cup fresh blueberries or chopped fresh strawberries To make topping: Stir yogurt, syrup and cinnamon. Cover and refrigerate.

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To make pancakes: In mixing bowl, stir flour, sugar, baking

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powder, baking soda and salt. In separate bowl, whisk egg, yogurt, milk, butter and vanilla. Add yogurt mixture to flour mixture. Stir just until combined (batter should be slightly lumpy).

Scrape batter into large plastic food storage bag. Oil nonstick griddle or large nonstick skillet. Heat over medium heat. Cut off about 1/2 inch from corner of plastic bag. Squeeze batter, about 1 tablespoon at a time, onto hot griddle. Cook 1-2 minutes per side, or until pancakes are golden brown, turning to second sides when bubbles form on surface of pancakes and edges are slightly dry.

Serve warm pancakes topped with cinnamon-maple yogurt and sprinkled with berries.

Feta Roasted Salmon and Tomatoes Prep time: 15 minutes Cook time: 15 minutes Servings: 4 Nonstick cooking spray 3 cups halved cherry tomatoes 2 teaspoons olive oil 1 teaspoon minced garlic 1/2 teaspoon dried oregano or dried dill weed 1/4 teaspoon salt 1/2 teaspoon coarsely ground black pepper, divided

1 1/2 pounds salmon or halibut fillets, cut into 4 serving-size pieces 1 cup (4 ounces) crumbled feta cheese Preheat oven to 425 F. Line 18-by13-by-1-inch (half sheet) baking pan with foil. Lightly spray foil with nonstick cooking spray. Set aside.

In medium bowl, toss tomatoes, olive oil, garlic, oregano, salt and 1/4 teaspoon pepper.

Place fish pieces, skin side down, on one side of prepared pan. Sprinkle with remaining pepper. Lightly press feta cheese on top of fish. Pour tomato mixture on other side of prepared pan. Bake, uncovered, 12-15 minutes, or until fish flakes easily with fork.

Place salmon on serving plates.

Spoon tomato mixture over top.

1

pound boneless, skinless chicken breast halves, cut into bite-size pieces 1 tablespoon Cajun or Creole seasoning 1 large fresh mango, seeded, peeled and chopped 3 large whole-wheat pita rounds (or 6 small), halved 1 1/2 cups spring greens 3/4 cup crumbled blue cheese (3 ounces) To make sauce: In small bowl, stir yogurt, honey and juice. Cover and refrigerate.

To make filling: In large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat, heat oil. Cook and stir chicken with seasoning in hot oil 4-6 minutes, or until chicken is no longer pink in center.

Remove from heat. Stir in mango.

Fill pita pockets with greens, chicken mixture and blue cheese.

Spoon yogurt sauce on top.

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1406 W Locust St. Davenport 563-323-8807 Mature Focus • February 2024

9

Lifetime warranty

By Taprina Milburn When I raised my family, cooking was not so much an enjoyable task as it was a task of duty and survival - one must feed her family to keep them alive, after all. I had a handful of repeats that showed up on our table weekly - spaghetti, salad, baked chicken, a casserole or two of some sorts. Rinse, repeat.

When the kids moved off to college, it surprised me that I began enjoying time in the kitchen. The dinnertime rush had disappeared; pressure, I guess, was lessened. It became a relaxing thing to do after work.

However, it was a gift that I received

one Christmas that most certainly helped to increase the interest.

I own a set of kitchen knives today that I received as a gift from my husband years ago. Nice knives that have a variety of jobs I didn’t know knives had and, honestly, whose jobs were, at first, lost on me.

These knives are the midlife crisis of knives, the ones for which you trade in the aged, dull ones you said “I do” to decades earlier as a wedding gift.

When I opened the Christmas gift that year, I saw the shiny, stainless

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steel set in a beautiful cherry hardwood block. I could tell by the look on my husband’s face that he’d made an investment, a Consumer Reports type of investment. It was a look I’d grown to

recognize over the years by the way he arched and wriggled his eyebrows in a cute, nerdy way to let me know he’d spent time and money on something Consumer Reports had given its stamp of approval. We didn’t buy a family vehicle, appliance, or camping equipment without first consulting the publishing gods of informed purchasing.

“These are really good knives that will slice your finger off,” he warned the kids and me, as he sliced through a piece of thick cardboard laying nearby with the discarded Christmas boxes and wrapping paper.

I was convinced. So out with the old and in with the new.

The knives were a gift I didn’t know I (we) needed and reminded me of sweet times I had with my husband in the last years of his life, where he’d join me in the kitchen, listen to music and talk over our day. Since he thought the knives were cool, he didn’t hesitate to mince and chop whatever I asked him to - garlic, carrots, onions, celery, herbs. I didn’t know it back then that we didn’t have too many evenings in the kitchen left or holidays together, or opportunities to gift each other with trinkets of affection.

In the years since he’s been gone, the knives, like all favorite things used often, started to look a little worn. A couple of the knives had broken tips.

Each time I pulled one out of the block and saw the broken tip, a feeling of shame came over me. I hadn’t taken very good care of something nice that my husband had bought for

me. This thought then spiraled to: I don’t deserve nice things. The thought was loud and persistent even though I was aware that it was disproportionately harsh.

The good thing is, the knives have a lifetime warranty. I remember my husband had touted that as one of the perks. But procrastination set in each time I thought about looking into it. It felt like an overwhelming task, which quite frankly sounds so silly. Since my husband died, I have on my own sold and bought two houses and moved cross country. I’m not a helpless, fragile woman. What was it about the knives? But I repeated the shame cycle for years when I pulled out one of the knives to use.

This went on until I visited a kitchen store in my new town and saw that they carried the same brand. I inquired about replacing the knives. They told me they didn’t have that same style but reminded me that this brand comes with a lifetime warranty and that I could send them in for repair. The sales clerk asked if I would like help.

Yes, please, I said almost too desperately.

Such a simple task, I know, but the help is what I needed to move forward. Someone to gently point me in the right direction of something that looked on the outside like no big deal.

But I had let this chore get wrapped up in the three sisters of grief: regret, sorrow, and shame.

The sales clerk directed me to a link online that would take me to the manufacturer’s website warranty page. I filled out the form, printed it out, packed up the broken knives, and sent them to the manufacturer for repair.

The day I received the repaired knives felt like Christmas again. Today, the whole set is ... well, whole again.

Sometimes one nudge leads to a baby step and then to a giant leap and then to the healthy step of turning right upside down thinking.

Never underestimate the power of someone’s offer of help or the power of a lifetime warranty.

Taprina Milburn is an essayist who lives in the Pacific Northwest with her golden retriever, Scout. Contact her at writeyourstoriesworkshop@gmail.com

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Mature Focus • February 2024

11

Carole Wells remembers Ann Sheridan Born 109 years ago this February, glamorous actress Ann Sheridan (1915-1967) was destined for branding as the “Oomph Girl” following a mock contest organized by the Warner Brothers publicity department in 1939.

Stunning on-screen and becoming a favorite pin-up girl of World War II troops, Sheridan could play any character – tough or tender, funny or flirty, sassy or seductive. She delighted audiences with her witty wisecracks and clever comebacks.

While she certainly possessed an abundance of entertainment oomph, her feelings were mixed about the public label throughout her life.

The Texas native starred in some memorable films of the 40s such as “The Man Who Came to Dinner,” “Angels with Dirty Faces,” and “I

Cast of “Pistols ‘n’ Petticoats,” Carole Wells top right, Ann Sheridan bottom right.

Was a Male War Bride,” but never landed a lead role in a true Hollywood blockbuster in her more than 80 feature films.

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Sheridan ended her career in the little-remembered TV comedy western “Pistols ‘n’ Petticoats” that ran for one season in the 1960s. Co-starring with Carole Wells, the former “National Velvet” series actress was one of the last to work with Sheridan and played her daughter in the CBS show.

“I’d never met her before that,” Wells told me in 2020. “In fact, I didn’t really know who she was – she had been a star before I was born.”

The two initially met the first day on set.

“We sat around a big table and read the script with the producers, writers, and director, and she was very charming but rather quiet,” recalled Wells. “We would do this every week before filming and she was always just a down-to-earth sort of person.”

Wells says the two chatted often but never became very close during the months they worked together.

“I’d see her in the mornings in the make-up department and give her a hug and say, ‘How ya doin’ Annie?’

And she’d say something like ‘wish I felt as good as you sweetie’ – she called everyone sweetheart or sweetie. She was never well from the beginning of the series.”

In the mornings Sheridan was usually okay, according to Wells, but by noon usually couldn’t work.

“It took a lot out of her and she would have to go back to her

they said it Twixt optimist and pessimist The difference is droll: The optimist see the doughnut, The pessimist, the hole.

- McLandburgh Wilson

dressing room,” said Wells who would spend the lunch hour learning Sheridan’s lines that would be rewritten for Wells to work into the script if Sheridan couldn’t make it back to the set. “But I didn’t care because I knew she was ill.”

Wells also remembers Sheridan as a chronic smoker.

“As sick as she was with cancer and emphysema, she was never without a cigarette in her mouth except while filming,” said Wells. “She was very frail and thin and kept getting thinner as the series progressed.

Basically, I watched her die in front of me. But with all she was going through, I never heard her complain and she was always very kind and respectful to me.”

Sheridan struggled through most of the series but was too ill for the final half-dozen episodes.

“I knew she wasn’t going to be around much longer,” said Wells.

“One day she was on the set, then the next day she wasn’t and we never saw her again. When we heard she

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“Before the series started, she had a facelift and got herself together,” says Wells.

“I think being part of the show might have helped her live a little ÝýͺÐÐ &¥¥Ð ^º²·ø ø ,ÝÖ¥ ø longer.”

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Mature Focus • February 2024

13

Elder Law

By Ben Bekel, Quad City Life Planning A number of clients I work with own small businesses, rent properties, or otherwise have business interests which need to be worked with as part of their life and estate planning.

When I suggest trusts to these clients, I get a fairly common response almost immediately: “Why do I need a separate entity to manage my life and estate planning when I’ve already set up a LLC or a corporation?”

This is a very good question – after all, the law, with few exceptions, considers corporate entities separate and apart from their individual owners, much as trusts are considered separate and apart from their grantors or trustees. Corporations in many cases allow similar levels of flexibility as trusts do. I’ve even seen some attorneys use LLCs as an outright substitute for a living trust in

14 February 2024 • Mature Focus

The company you keep: LLC’s, trusts, and estate planning certain circumstances.

All that being said, there are a number of disadvantages to simply using your corporation as a standalone tool in life and estate planning: Reporting. Corporate entities have to report back to their state of establishment periodically as to their continued existence, current address, and officers, and also have to pay fees to the state in order to continue operating. If you don’t, the state can simply dissolve the corporation without warning. Not so with trusts. States do not require trusts to report back to them, nor are any state fees required to maintain a trust.

Portability. A corporate entity is an entity that is recognized separately by an individual state. What that means in practice is that the corporate entity only truly exists as an entity within the borders of the state in which you created it, meaning if you want to move that entity to another state, or even have that entity do business in another state, you have to either create a new LLC in that state or go through a process to register your original LLC with the new state. Of course, to actually go through this procedure you have to pay that new state new fees to permit your entity to operate there. Not so with trusts. Trusts are portable, meaning they can cross state borders with you without having to re-create them anew.

After death issues. A corporate entity is usually

owned through shares of ownership, whether or not the entity provides a certificate showing those ownership shares to its respective owners. The problem from the life and estate

“Why do I need a separate entity to manage my life and estate planning when I’ve already set up a LLC or a corporation?”

planning perspective is the way those shares are owned – by law, shares of ownership of a corporation are considered personal property of the person who owns them, meaning that on the death of the owner a probate proceeding may be required to transfer the ownership! Once again, not so with trusts, which are crafted in such a way as to make transfers of trust property more or less automatic upon the death of the original grantors.

Indeed, we often retitle shares of corporate entities in the name of a trust in order to bypass probate for our clients.

None of this is to say that LLCs or other corporate entities are poor tools. Used properly, they are fine tools for achieving business or even life and estate planning goals. But they shouldn’t be used alone – even if you have a separate entity already created, including a trust in your life and estate plan that will make the ultimate transfer of these business interests far simpler than it otherwise might be.

Ben Bekel is the attorney at Quad City Life Planning in Moline, Illinois.

He handles elder law and life planning including probate/trust administration, guardianships and disability/ Medicaid planning. Learn more at quadcitylifeplanning.com.

Phone hex

By Dick Wolfsie On my way to pickleball recently, I realized I did not have my cell phone with me. I panicked at first, but as you may recall from a previous column, my phone is never really lost, it's simply — if I may coin a new application for a perfectly good word — “unfounded.”

I was sure when I arrived home it would be exactly where I left it, which is usually where you find things.

In my head, I retraced the last places where I had seen the phone. I remembered loading the car with all my stuff which included a gym bag, sunglasses, hat, paddle and, of course, the phone. Well, it must be in the car, I thought. I pulled over, climbed out, and looked carefully in between the seats, under the seats and in all the side compartments.

I didn't want to be late for my court time, so I jumped back in the car and headed for the gym. At the first stoplight, I remembered I had a “Find My Phone” app on my Apple Watch. It said the phone was at 96th and Lantern Road. So was I! The light changed and I turned west. Now the watch said the phone was at 96th and Gray Road. Me, too! A few minutes later, we were both at 106th and Westfield. Obviously, the phone was somewhere in my car. But where?

The last time I checked the app, it said the phone was at 111th and Westfield. I was late now, so I played my pickleball games and bee-lined back to that address afterward. Sure enough, there was my phone — right smack dab in the middle of the street, and except for the protective case, it was completely smashed to smithereens. I retrieved it and went home, clueless as to how this had all happened.

My wife wasted no time in her analysis. “You were loading the car and had trouble handling everything at once, so you placed the phone (which has a magnet on the back of the case) on the roof of the car and sped away. Your watch's app tracked

the phone as you drove. The phone remained secure for most of your trip, but then you hit a pothole at 111th and Westfield. In a nanosecond, it

was dislodged and bounced to the middle of the street.”

Wow. Mystery solved. After I thanked Sherlock, I left to buy a new phone. I showed the destroyed phone to the salesman. “Isn't the protective case guaranteed?”

“Yes, 100% guaranteed.”

“But the phone is smashed.”

“Sir, we guaranteed the case, not

the phone.”

I explained how embarrassed I was. “Oh, don't be,” he said. “I've had several customers who did dumb things like driving over their phones.”

“I'm no dummy,” I said. “I didn't run over my own phone. Someone else did it for me.”

The tech guys were all chuckling at my story and sharing other cell phone misadventures.

“Years ago, I had a customer,” said one of the employees, “who forgot he had set his phone in the freezer while he needed both hands to retrieve a stuck pint of ice cream from the back.”

That made everyone laugh. Except me. It was a very painful memory. I had searched for hours to find that phone. And my screen was frozen the rest of the day.

Dick Wolfsie was a reporter for WISH-TV in Indianapolis for more than 30 years. You can email him at wolfsie@aol.com.

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15

Whenever it’s ready to die, an obituary for karaoke

By Greg Schwem Wow, that felt good to write.

Newspaper obituary writers, we know you occasionally craft “advancers” - death notices for celebrities still very much alive - so the world can read about their lives mere minutes after they expire. Do you ever wish the actual event had occurred? I’m sure it happens. What if the subject is an evil dictator? The sicko who invented the colonoscopy prep drink? Certain U.S. politicians?

That’s how I feel about karaoke.

Roberto del Rosario, who received a patent for the karaoke machine, died in 2003. But I want the entire institution wiped off Earth’s face.

That means eliminating every machine that stores the songs, every LED screen that displays the lyrics, and every bar, restaurant or public building that has ever advertised KARAOKE NIGHT! I really thought karaoke would have a brief shelf life, sort of like ax throwing or Jessica Simpson.

Instead, the opposite seems to be occurring. While sailing aboard a cruise ship recently, karaoke threatened to knock Bingo off its perch as the most popular activity. It was omnipresent, even taking place on days the ship stopped in exotic Mexican ports and passengers should have been spending their time purchasing sombreros and visiting pharmacies to stock up on Viagra and Prozac. I thought about buying the latter, simply as a means of dealing with a ship full of aspiring (in their

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opinions, anyway) Katy Perrys and Michael Bubles.

We have to grow weary of karaoke eventually, right? And when we do, the epitaph, courtesy of me, is ready to go: Karaoke, the entertainment phenomenon that launched absolutely nobody into musical stardom, died today after an unexpectedly long life. No cause of death was given, but it had been in failing health after professional singers and songwriters threatened to stop making music altogether.

Reached aboard his tour bus, Garth Brooks greeted the news with a giddy, “Yee haw!”

“I realize ‘Friends in Low Places’ is about a drunk guy showing up at his ex’s wedding, but that doesn’t mean you have to be drunk when you sing it,” the country superstar

said. “I mean, you have to be somewhat sober to sing, ‘the last one to know, the last one to show, I was the last one you thought you’d see there.’ It doesn’t work after your buddies buy you three tequila shots and dare you to take the stage.”Adele responded with her trademark English bawdiness.

“You know why I’m standing on this stage and you (expletive) people paid $1,500 a (expletive) ticket to see me?” she asked a sold-out Caesar’s Palace crowd. “Because I know how to hit, and hold, the (expletive) high notes on ‘Someone Like You’ and you don’t. Don’t ever (expletive) forget that!”

John Travolta issued a written statement: “I only wish Olivia Newton-John were alive to realize sorority girls and bachelorette parties will never again have the opportunity to butcher not only the lyrics and the tune of ‘Summer Nights,’ but also the choreography. This is a proud day for everybody affiliated with ‘Grease.’”Taylor Swift appeared upset by the news but told a football stadium full of fans that she was actually shedding tears of joy.

“For all you teenage girls out there who have ever arrived at a karaoke party two hours before it started, nervously wrote your names on the sign-up sheet, and then waited another 90 minutes before belting ‘Style’ from the depths of your diaphragms, you can stop now.”

“Here’s how it’s SUPPOSED to sound,” she added.

Services for karaoke are pending; organizers are trying to find a day when the world is not engaged in another unexplained phenomenon that shows no signs of abating.

For one day, could the world put down its pickleball paddles?

Greg Schwem is a corporate standup comedian and author of two books: “Text Me If You’re Breathing: Observations, Frustrations and Life Lessons From a Low-Tech Dad” and the recently released “The Road To Success Goes Through the Salad Bar: A Pile of BS From a Corporate Comedian,” available at Amazon.com.

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Mature Focus • February 2024

17

When your mouth hurts: Four natural remedies for oral lichen planus

By Suzy Cohen, R.Ph. When your mouth hurts, it’s so uncomfortable, it’s hard to enjoy a meal, and sometimes even sleep.

You can try something like oral numbing gels or salt water rinses, but if it doesn’t go away you should see your dentist for a proper workup.

Today we’ll talk about a condition called Oral Lichen Planus (OLP) which can be a challenge for many people because it doesn’t respond easily to things like mouthwashes or oral gels that numb the area.

The problem is characterized by painful lesions and discomfort, and risk factors include genetic predisposition and immune system problems especially those that are autoimmune.

Doctors often prescribe a steroid medication called dexamethasone.

This prescription elixir is one that you swish around in your mouth for a minute or so, and then spit out. It helps reduce swelling, pain, and red-

ness. It speeds healing time for most. If you don’t respond to that, another stronger steroid called Clobetasol can be prescribed as an oral rinse.

Prednisone dose packs can be ordered, and others as well. But right now, I’d rather talk about natural remedies that can improve healing time and help with immune dysfunction, which after all is the triggering factor for oral lichen planus.

Four Natural Remedies for Oral Lichen Planus 1. Aloe Vera Gel: This is renowned for its healing and antiinflammatory properties. For oral lichen planus, using pure aloe vera gel directly on the affected areas two or three times daily can provide relief. Avoid eating or drinking for at least 30 minutes to allow the gel to work effectively. Buy a commercially prepared product, or cut into a leaf of the actual plant.

2. Vitamin D: Since immune dysfunction is a key part of the etiology of oral lichen planus, it’s pretty safe to say that having adequate amounts of vitamin D in your body matter! A study has confirmed the association as well. Deficiencies of this nutrient make healing harder, if not

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impossible!

3. Tea Tree Oil: Known for its antiseptic and anti-inflammatory properties, tea tree oil can be used

Aloe vera gel is renowned for its healing and anti-inflammatory properties.

as a natural mouthwash. Mix a few drops of tea tree oil in a cup of warm water. Use this as a mouth rinse, swishing around the mouth for a minute before spitting it out.

Do not swallow this. Be sure to use a high-quality essential oil brand.

4. Chamomile Tea: Chamomile has soothing and anti-inflammatory properties. Steep a chamomile tea bag in hot water for a few minutes, then allow it to cool and swish and spit two or three times daily. On second thought, feel free to drink your chamomile tea if you want to.

Why not? It’s delicious and relaxing.

Certain ingredients can irritate the sensitive mucosa and gums so it’s best to look for alcohol-free mouthwashes and toothpaste that is free of SLS (sodium laurel sulfate). Avoid acidic and spicy foods. If you’d like to learn more, I have a longer version of this article posted at my website. Just sign up for my free newsletter at suzycohen.com.

For more information, visit SuzyCohen.com.

❖ On Feb. 12, 1793, Congress passes the first fugitive slave law, requiring all states, including those that forbid slavery, to forcibly return slaves who have escaped from other states to their original owners. ❖ On Feb. 7, 1812, the most violent of a series of earthquakes near Missouri causes a so-called fluvial tsunami in the Mississippi River, actually making the river run backward for several hours. Large lakes, such as Reelfoot Lake and Big Lake, were created by the earthquake. ❖ On Feb. 11, 1916, Emma Goldman, a crusader for women's rights and social justice, is arrested in New York City for lecturing and distributing materials about birth control in violation of the Comstock Act of 1873. ❖ On Feb. 6, 1937, John Steinbeck's novella “Of Mice and Men,” the story of the bond between two migrant workers, is published. In 1925, he had moved to New York City, where he worked as a manual laborer and a journalist. In 1939, Steinbeck won the Pulitzer Prize for “The Grapes of Wrath.” ❖ On Feb. 9, 1950, U.S. Sen. Joseph McCarthy claims he has a list with the names of more than 200 members of the Department of State who are “known communists.”

McCarthy never produced any evidence that there was even one. ❖ On Feb. 10, 1966, Ralph Nader, author of the groundbreaking book “Unsafe at Any Speed,” first testifies before Congress about unsafe practices in the auto industry. Nader would go on to advocate for other consumer causes, including food and drug safety. ❖ On Feb. 8, 1978, a classic Nor'easter that brought a severe blizzard to New England finally subsides. In the end, 56 deaths were attributed to the storm, which dumped up to 55 inches of snow in some areas of Massachusetts and Rhode Island. ❖ On Feb. 28, 1982, the J. Paul

Getty Museum becomes the world's most richly endowed museum when it receives a $1.2 billion bequest from the American oil billionaire.

Getty died in 1976, but legal wrangling over his fortune by his children and ex-wives kept his will in probate until1982.

Classic Travels April 28, “Chaps” at the Barn, Goodfield, IL. In 1944, frazzled employees of BBC radio scramble to present an authentic Country show when America’s favorite singing cowboy, Tex Riley, fails to show. Songs by Gene Autry, Roy Rogers, and a host of many more. Leave at 9:30 a.m. and back at 6:00 p.m. Price is $119. Payment due Friday, April 12, 2024.

May 2, “Beautiful – The Carole King Musical” at The Fireside Dinner Theatre in Ft. Atkinson, WI. She was Carole Klein, a spunky, young songwriter from Brooklyn. The musical takes you back to where it all began.

Featuring such unforgettable classics such as “You’ve Got A Friend,” “One Fine Day” and “You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling.” Leave at 7:00 a.m. and back at 8:00 p.m. Price is $154. Payment due Tuesday, April 2, 2024.

Tuesday, June 11-14, Summer Mystery Trip, Three nights at the same hotel, 1 continental, 3 breakfasts, 3 lunches and 3 dinners and a whole lot of fun. $929 dbl. and $1,049 sgl. Payment due Monday, May 6. A $50 deposit is due with your space.

Thursday, June 20, “Nunsense” at The Fireside Dinner Theatre in Ft. Atkinson, WI Join us for a madcap revue with a hysterical anythinggoes, good natured sense of fun. The Little Sisters of Hoboken are in dire financial straits. It seems they must raise enough money to bury the last four of 52 dearly departed nuns who were accidentally poisoned by the convent cook, Sister Julia (Child of God). The five remaining sisters perform with quick paced comic flair and high-spirited singing. It’s an outrageous premise for a long-running hit show that's “sinfully” hilarious and definitely habit forming! Leave at 7:00 a.m. and return at 8:00 p.m. Price is $154.

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Check out our website or call (563) 332-0014 Jill Kirkpatrick • 3371 Eastridge Drive • Bettendorf, IA 52722 email: jill@classictravelsllc.com • www.classictravelsllc.com

Mature Focus • February 2024

19

SAV VY SENIOR You ask the SENIOR question - We find the SAVVY answer

Smart devices to help seniors age in place

She’s very interested but we’d like to get your opinion as to which types of smart devices are most Q: I’ve been talking to my helpful for seniors aging in place. mobility challenged mother, who A: If your mother is game, smart lives alone, about automating her house with some smart home pro- home products – such as smart lights, video doorbells and voiceducts to make it more convenient. activated speakers – can be very useful for aging in place. These devices can add safety and convenience to a home by providing voice and appcontrolled operation, which is extremely helpful for seniors who have UNIQUE GOLD JEWELRY mobility issues or AT AFFORDABLE PRICES! reduced vision.

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20 February 2024 • Mature Focus

If you’re interested in adding some smart home products to your mom’s house, she’ll need home Wi-Fi installed, and she’ll need either a smartphone, tablet or smart speaker to operate them. To help you get started, here are some different types of devices to consider that are very helpful to older adults.

Smart speakers: A smart speaker – like the Amazon Echo, Google Nest or Apple HomePod – can serve as the brains of a smart home, controlling the devices with voice commands or automating them.

These devices can also play your mom’s favorite music, read audiobooks, make calls, set timers and alarms, provide reminders for medications, appointments and other things, check traffic and weather, answer questions, call for help in emergency situations and much more – all done by voice commands.

Smart light bulbs: To help

prevent home falls – which are often caused by fumbling around a dark room looking for a light switch – smart light bulbs will let your mom turn on and off the lights by voice command, smartphone or tablet.

These bulbs can also change brightness and color and be programmed to turn on and off whenever she wants.

Smart plugs: These small units plug into a standard outlet and connect to the internet. That means your mom can control whatever she plugs into them – from a space heater to a coffee maker – using her voice or phone.

Video doorbell: Safety is also a concern for older adults, especially those who live alone. A video doorbell would let your mom see and speak to visitors at the door without having to walk over and open it.

Smart locks: For convenience and safety, smart locks would give your mom keyless entry to her home, provide customized access to family, friends and caregivers, and let you monitor who comes and goes from your mom’s house.

Smart thermostat: This lets your mom preprogram or manually control the temperature in her home with voice command or via phone, and let you monitor it too.

Smart smoke alarms: These will alert your mom when smoke or carbon monoxide is detected and will also send alerts to your phone if a problem is detected.

Stovetop shut-off: To prevent home cooking fires, smart stovetop shut-off devices, like the IGuardStove, will turn off electric and gas stovetops when left unattended, and will alert you via text.

Medical alert system: These devices provide wearable wrist and/or necklace emergency buttons that would allow your mom to call for help if she were to fall or need assistance. Many systems today also provide voice activated and fall detection features, and caregiver tracking apps that will allow you to keep tabs on her.

Cameras and smart sensors: If your mom needs more in-depth mon-

itoring, there are indoor cameras you can install so you can see, hear and talk to her from your phone. Or, if that’s too intrusive, you can install smart contact sensors on her doors so you can know when she comes and goes, or on her refrigerator door so you can know if she’s eating.

Send your senior questions to: Savvy Senior, P.O. Box 5443, Norman, OK 73070, or visit SavvySenior.org. Jim Miller is the author of “The Savvy Senior” book.

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here’s a tip

By JoAnn Derson

☞ Here's a fun afternoon of play just waiting to happen: Check with your local grocery store or big box store to see if it has uncrushed cardboard boxes.

Get several to create a cardboard city in your living room or child's bedroom. They can be decorated to look like anything, or cut, trimmed and taped into most any shape. Kids even like to stock them with pillows and blankets for a cozy sleepover. When you're done, break them down and recycle until the next adventure. ☞ If you lose a contact lens, you can try turning off the lights and using a flashlight held perpendicular to the floor. They reflect the light, and as you move the beam of light across the floor, it will flash. This has helped me many times. ☞ Great diet control tip: When serving dinner, portion out the meal, then pack up the leftovers right away. You won't be as tempted to go back and have seconds, nor stuff a few more mouthfuls in when cleaning up later. ☞ If the smell in your cedar chest has faded, you can bring it back easily with extra-fine sandpaper. A very light sanding is all it takes in most cases. ☞ For delicious baked potatoes, boil a pot of salted water, add whole potatoes with skin, remove from heat and let stand for 15 minutes. Finish in the oven for a sturdier skin. Start checking for doneness after 15 minutes in the oven. Baking time can be cut in half! ☞ If you like taking baths, you can invest in a second rubber bath mat to drape over the side of the tub. The edge will be nonslip, so you can hold on for support and your hands will not slide.

1-309-764-7780 Mature Focus • February 2024

21

Answers on Page 43.

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 

LEVEL OF DIFFICULTY: 

22 February 2024 • Mature Focus

Answers on page 43 ACROSS 1 Grappler, backwoods-style 8 Skylit courts 13 Astronaut Wally 20 “The Stranger Beside Me” true-crime writer 21 Flowers in the iris family 22 Some sweatshirts 23 Swift warship for law enforcement?

25 Finales 26 Makes mother's milk 27 Comic Radner 29 “How about that!”

30 Lugosi of “The Raven” 33 Hefty books 34 Defectively built flat-bottomed boat?

36 Pumpkin's color 38 Resident of Tehran 40 Makes a choice 41 Light, speedy boat transporting Oreos?

45 Just barely 48 Indian state known for silk 49 United 50 In a smoothly elegant way 53 Neon, e.g.

56 French mime master 59 High-sterned ship orbiting Earth?

61 “Brooklyn Nine-Nine” star Andy 65 Central Canadian tribe members 67 Upscale hotel quarters 68 Small combo 69 Discovering a sharp-bowed rowboat?

74 Safe, at sea 75 Do a tally of 77 “Get what I'm sayin', man?”

78 Zealous 80 Paint a passenger ship?

83 Soapmaking solution 86 Auditing org.

87 Message on a tombstone 89 Kabuki sash 90 Enthusiasm 95 Prison, in London 96 Very fast ship decorated with shrubbery?

99 Coll. reunion attendee 102 Father Sarducci of old 3-Down 104 Quick-witted 105 Racing boat with lots of mollusks attached?

109 Fill with joy 113 Lyric verses 114 Billiards stick 115 They make up molecules 116 Abstruse 118 Reproductive organs 120 Sub-sinking ship full of aquariums?

125 Lay aside 126 Bert's pal 127 Introductions

128 In clothes 129 Actors O'Neal and Reynolds 130 Says “OK” DOWN 1 Jay-Z's music 2 Year, in Portugal 3 NBC skit show, in brief 4 Indian Ocean island nation 5 -- Brasi (role in “The Godfather”) 6 One voted in 7 Book page opposite a verso 8 Severe 9 Samples something 10 Singer Diana 11 With 13-Down, thick glacial mass along a polar shore 12 BB shooter 13 See 11-Down 14 Magazine publisher Nast 15 Wannabe surfer 16 Exiled Amin 17 Key into a cash register 18 Acting king 19 Good traits 24 He-sheep 28 “-- may be so bold ...”

30 -- Raton 31 Lovers' deity

32 34 35 37 39 42 43 44 45 46 47 51 52 53 54 55 57 58 60 61 62 63 64 66 70 71 72 73 76 79

Neighbor of Thailand Clayey fertilizer Herd of seals “-- a break!”

Gave a new interior design to Welsh canine Mom's bro Ball supporter Org. for cavity fillers Doc's warm treatment “For” votes Like thrift store goods -- facto Sly deception Prices to play Variety of trapshooting Spot's noise Etching liquid Husband of Eva Peron Actress Keanan Enthusiasm Gold-fancying king Boxers' event Waffle brand No, to Nikita Torres with 12 Olympic swimming medals Antique item “Hooray!”

“Guilty” or “not guilty” Onetime TV host Philbin

81 82 84 85 88 91

Debut on Wall St. Zippo Woofing pet Actor Vigoda Olympic skier Mahre Meeting building regulations 92 Tater 93 Head, in Metz 94 Mining strikes 95 Big inits. in SUVs 97 Certain deer leather 98 Hamlet's duel opponent 99 Peace treaty 100 Shutter piece 101 Fidgetiness 102 Valuable rock 103 Long, loose outerwear 106 Nitpickers split them 107 Olympic skier Mahre 108 Sprayed, with “down” 110 Mining strikes 111 Downed 112 Electric car producer 116 Sicilian resort city 117 Investments for later yrs.

119 Home: Abbr.

121 Suffix with budget 122 -- and yang 123 Doc for head colds 124 Blog feed format inits.

Mature Focus • February 2024

23

Laundry over time

By Doris Montag Early civilizations rarely bathed or washed their clothes. Removing the dirt required washing their clothes in rivers and slapping the fabric against the rocks to literally, beat the dirt out of the fibers.

In time it was discovered that a boiled compound of animal fat, wood ash and lye could clean clothes. This lye soap could decompose grease creating water-soluble residues easily removed with rinsing. A chamber lye soap created from the chamber pot solution (yes, the urine) was also used.

In Ancient Rome laundering clothes was limited to a few times a year and was done by men. These men, called fullones, often took care of the dirty clothes of the entire city.

By 500 AD, laundry had moved to homes with the work transitioning to women. Across Europe women gathered at communal wash houses sharing a large stone or wooden tub filled with water. Eventually people discovered that hot water made stain removal easier, so the wash house added a copper tub of boiling water. The fluted metal washboard was patented in 1883 to help rub the dirt out of the clothes. The laundry stomper, or plunger, forced water through the

clothes in the downward stroke.

In the mid-1800s, the first versions of the washing machine appeared.

The mechanism consisted of a tub base, paddles or rods and a handle that turned the rods. Other versions

involved a rotating tub/drum instead of paddles. Both designs sought to stir the wash.

In 1888, Ellen Elgin, a Black female housekeeper, recognized the need to save time and labor doing laundry and to speed up the drying process.

The wringer came at a time when garments were washed at home, squeezed and twisted by hand to remove the water and hung to dry

while still very wet. Clothes could now be fed through two rollers which were hand-cranked to wring out the water.

Elgin sold her patent to a white person for $18 ($600 in 2024 value). In an April 1890 issue of “Woman Inventor,” Elgin stated, “I am Black and if it was known that a Negro woman patented the invention, white ladies would not buy the wringer.”

The patent lists Cyrenus Wheeler, Jr. as the inventor.

As the Western world prospered, entrepreneurs invented soap, starch, and other laundry aids. By the late 1800s there were abundant and varied wrapped bars of commercial laundry soap sold at moderate prices. Tinted starches, dyes and products for restoring faded black clothes were available. Borax (boron, sodium and oxygen) was introduced as a brand name for soaps and starches. It is promoted as a miracle all-purpose cleaning product even to this day.

While the upper classes continued to employ washer women, various cheaper “send-out” laundry services opened in the late 1800s. These laundries managed both domestic laundry and linen from hotels and businesses.

The commercial laundry services of modern times have their earliest history in the laundry shops of the Chinese immigrants in New York.

But that is another story.

Follow Doris Montag on Facebook at HistoryofOrdinaryThings.

February ChucklE My wife is really mad that I have no sense of direction.

So, I packed up my stuff and right.

24 February 2024 • Mature Focus

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309-292-3681 Mature Focus • February 2024

25

A not-so-joyful noise

By Susan Goldfein Would you consider eating out on a New York City subway platform during rush hour a pleasant dining experience?

I hear you all scoffing at the idea as you imagine the din of two express trains simultaneously roaring into the station. Then why oh why do we frequent restaurants where the noise level exceeds a front row seat at a Jimi Hendrix rock concert?

Quick answer. Because we have little choice. If you, like millions of others, engage in what my friend labelled “recreational eating,” then often what you make for dinner is a

reservation.

Everyone wants to sample the hot new restaurant in town. You call and are fortunate enough to be granted a table for four by the young hostess in the very short, very tight black dress and five-inch heels. (Of course, you can’t see her, but you just know!)

A month from the time of your call, the big night finally arrives.

After a brief conversation with the other couple regarding who shall pick up whom (I think I got the grammar straight), you arrive at your destination, trust your car to the valet, and step inside. In an instant, you feel like you’ve just been transported onto the runway of the world’s busiest airport!

The hostess (you were right about her!) informs you that your table is not quite ready and asks you to wait at the bar, where

the exceptionally loud sound of people trying to be heard is augmented by pulsating music more conducive to disco dancing than to dining. There is nowhere to stand to avoid the music. Speakers are everywhere!

You feel as if your entire body is being assaulted. With good reason, because it is. Sound is measured in units called decibels (dBs). The higher the dB number, the louder the sound. Returning to the New York City subway platform for a moment, the sound level measurement is approximately 90 dB. The sound level in your current situation is at least 85. Bear in mind that average conversation takes place at about 60dB. It’s no wonder that the most frequently uttered word in modern restaurants is “What?”

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before you fall into a noise-induced stupor, escorts you to your table, and hands you the menu. You think about asking if the venue also pro-

vides ear plugs, but it seems rather unlikely. Besides, she probably won’t be able to hear you. The sound level at the table is only slightly better than it was at the bar, but still risky for noise-induced hearing loss.

The waiter appears and recites the specials. Twice. Three times. And you’re still not sure if the fish of the day is prepared with almonds or artichokes. You don’t want to gamble, so you order from the menu.

Thank goodness Apple thought to include a flashlight on the iPhone.

In an attempt at conversation, the four of you lean onto the table, foreheads almost touching. Some of you fiddle with your hearing aids to try to drown out the background noise.

The one who doesn’t yet wear hearing aids wishes she did so she could remove them. Straining to be heard, you soon find yourselves competing with the other diners in a form of yell-talking. The meal is tasty, but you skip dessert. You long to escape to the soothing lull of street noise.

Why are restaurants so noisy?

Clearly, there has been a shift in restaurant aesthetics.

Carpeting and soft seats have been replaced by metal and concrete and very high ceilings.

Restauranteurs claim that soundproofing has become too expensive for spaces that are barnlike. Besides, noise equals excitement. Who wants to walk into a room that is deadly quiet?

I definitely get the latter argument. But surely, there must be some compromise between the experience of eating amidst a herd of lawn mowers or the public library!

People of a certain age, do we give up rec-

reational eating or try to accommodate to the new normal? One thing we might consider is that we abandon yell-talking and take classes in lipreading. Or decide beforehand, that we will communicate via texting and eliminate the risk of laryngitis.

Or, we simply stay at home, and hope that one day, soon, the local senior center will open for dinner.

Born and raised in New York City, Susan currently splits her time between Florida and Connecticut.

Visit Susan’s blog, susansunfilteredwit.com.

Mature Focus • February 2024

27

Winter shrubs

By Lori Rose What do witch hazel, Japan, basket weaving, and Vaudeville have in common? And, to make this mystery a bit more difficult to solve, what do they all have to do with winter landscapes?

One blustery day, I was stopped on my way to a landscape design class by the strong scent of a flowery perfume.

Later that day, the class went outside to take a tour of the plantings around the school. As we walked down that same stretch of pathway, all noses rose into the air. Our instructor discovered the source and brought a few branches

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Acer palmatum var. dissectum, the lace-leaf Japanese maple is a longlived tree, with a domed habit, zigzag trunks, and ground-sweeping branches.

Photo: Wendy Cutler.

Midnight Gardener

for us to look at and sniff. Ozark witch hazel, he said.

Ozark witch hazel, Hamamelis vernalis, grows six to ten feet high and wide, and is receptive to wet or dry sites, sunny or shady sites, and gravelly or clay soils. In short, it will thrive almost anywhere. The flowers also come in yellow, which is somewhat prettier, but it is not the looks of the early spring flowers that matter, it’s the heavenly first scent of spring.

According to Michael Dirr, author of Dirr’s Hardy Trees and Shrubs: An Illustrated Encyclopedia, “True aristocrats are rare among people and trees, but Japanese maple is in the first order.

Landscape uses…are limited only by the imagination of the gardener. It’s difficult to imagine a garden that could not benefit from a [Japanese Maple].”

Witch hazel.

In winter when the leaves drop, the silhouette of the graceful, curling trunk and branches is a charming still-life resplendent with the pureness of a Japanese garden.

Japanese Maples grow slowly, ultimately reaching ten to fifteen feet in height, wider in spread. It prefers moist, well-drained soil and protection from wind. They grow best with some shade.

When the leaves fall and the temperatures drop, the colors of the red osier dogwood stems brighten up an otherwise dull winter landscape. Red osier dogwood, Cornus sericea, sports lots of bright coral-red or yellowgreen branches during the cold months. They form a lovely hedge, and red osier branches piercing a carpet of snow are simply delightful. The long, slim stems were used by native Americans for basket weaving and are still used by present-day crafters.

Red osier dogwood does best in full sun to part shade. They will grow in just about any type of soil, but grow best with plenty of moisture. They can grow to nine feet high and ten feet wide, but they are easily pruned and look great at any size that fits your landscape needs.

Have you ever seen a florist’s arrangement that had slim branches in it that look like they were curled the

way a little girl’s hair is curled around a finger? If so, then you have probably seen the branches of the European filbert Corylus avellana ‘Contorta.’

This wonderful shrub in the filbert family was discovered in 1863 in a hedgerow in England. Its contorted, convoluted branches made it a favorite planting in the early 1900s. During that time, a young man with pluck and wit transformed his life of poverty to become one of Scotland’s premier entertainers. Sir Harry Lauder was a star of British Music Hall, American Vaudeville, Australian Variety, records, radio and films. Sir Harry was most easily recognized for hobbling around with his trademark twisted walking stick. It wasn’t long before our twisty, turny filbert became known as ‘Harry Lauder’s Walking Stick.’

Characterized as a small tree, in practice the ‘Contorta’ grows very slowly to ten feet high and wide. It is easy to grow, and does well in sun or part shade.

Even the leaves are a bit twisted, curling under at the edges.

With its gnarled branches, curly leaves, and funny dangling catkins in spring, this plant is a curiosity

throughout the year.

Now you know the solution to our landscape mystery: witch hazel, Japan, basket weaving, and Vaudeville all represent some of the most distinctive trees and shrubs you can have in your garden during the winter, and throughout the year.

“Aye, I'm tellin’ ye, happiness is one of the few things in this world that doubles every time you share it with someone else.” (Sir Harry Lauder) Lori Rose, the Midnight Gardener, is a Temple University Certified Master Home Gardener and member of the GWA: The Association for Garden Communicators. She has been writing about gardening for over twenty years.

Email Lori at midnightgardener@ hotmail.com.

Trivia Test

By Fifi Rodriguez

1. What state is the setting for the 1990s movie “Twister”?

2. Lake Okeechobee is in which U.S. state?

3. Which president adopted the expression, “Speak softly and carry a big stick”?

4. Actor/singer Jared Leto also is the front man for which rock music band?

5. The U.S. Civil War ended in 1865 when Gen. Robert E. Lee surrendered to Union forces in which Virginia town?

6. Which element has the symbol Pb? 7. What is the destination in the board game Candy Land?

8. Who was the long-running host of “American Bandstand”?

9. What is the capital of Alaska?

10.Who is the author of the autobiographical work “I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings”?

By Lucie Winborne ✐ From 1953 to 1959, the Cincinnati Reds baseball team went by a different moniker, the Cincinnati Redlegs, in response to America's fear of communism during the McCarthy era, when the term “Reds” could be problematic. ✐ The word “whisky” comes from the Gaelic phrase “uisge beatha,” or “water of life.” ✐ According to researchers at Japan's Nagoya University, electric eels can use their shock to transfer genetic material to nearby fish larvae, altering the larva's genes in the process. ✐ An AI program using merely 10 seconds of human speech has been able to identify whether someone has diabetes with 89% accuracy. ✐ Workers at an Akron, Ohio, auto wrecking company creatively stopped a potential car thief by using a forklift to raise him, while inside the vehicle, 20 feet into the air until (no doubt amused) police arrived on the scene. ✐ If you make a visit to Iceland, you might run across a tiny, intricately designed house known as an alfhol.

But it wasn't built for a family of dolls. Rather, such structures are created for the “hidden folk” of Icelandic folklore, creatures often invisible to humans but who are believed to lead lives similar to ours. ✐ Smokers with better math skills are more inclined to quit smoking. ✐ When Reza Baluchi, a 44-yearold man from Florida, aspired to cross the Atlantic on a visit to London, he didn't take a plane or boat, but a floating contraption much like a giant hamster wheel! Unfortunately, his mode of transportation was deemed “manifestly unsafe” by the Coast Guard off the coast of Georgia's Tybee Island, and after a three-day standoff, Baluchi's mission was aborted. ✐ The Statue of Liberty's full name is Liberty Enlightening the World.

Mature Focus • February 2024

29

1. Oklahoma; 2. Florida; 3. Theodore Roosevelt; 4. Thirty Seconds to Mars; 5. Appomattox; 6. Lead; 7. Candy Castle; 8. Dick Clark; 9.

Juneau; 10. Maya Angelou.

Healthy Eyes: Shingles and the eye

By Dr. Michael Boehm Shingles of any type is believed to affect around one in three people in their lifetime and it’s estimated that up to one million new cases of shingles will occur in the United States each year.

Shingles (or herpes zoster) is the reactivation of the chicken pox or varicella-zoster virus, which causes a painful skin rash on one side of the body and most commonly on the

30 February 2024 • Mature Focus

trunk. Once you’ve had chicken pox as a child, or if you have had the chickenpox vaccine, the virus lies dormant in your nervous system throughout your life. At some point later in life, the virus can reactivate and cause shingles. A period of tingling or pain on a section of skin is then followed by a painful rash, that first blisters and then crusts over before healing.

When the shingles rash appears on one side of the face involving the scalp, forehead, nose, eyelids, and/or eyeball, it is called herpes zoster ophthalmicus or HZO. Since around 15 to 25% of all shingles cases are HZO in nature and can threaten the eye, it’s important to recognize this eye disease, the need for treatment, and a possible prevention option.

HZO can affect and cause disease to any portion of the eye, both

inside and out. From disfiguring scarring, to nerve damage, and inflammation - the threat for potential vision loss is real. Fortunately, most patients with HZO may only have a red eye and a painful rash around the eye without any long-term damage.

Once you’ve had chicken pox as a child, or if you have had the chickenpox vaccine, the virus lies dormant in your nervous system throughout your life.

It’s best if systemic anti-viral treatment can be started within three days of the initial symptoms and the onset of the classic HZO rash, so the severity of the disease and the risk of longterm complications can be reduced.

Treatment is recommended at any stage of HZO disease however, even after a week or more of symptoms.

Given the potential public health and eye health burden with HZO, it’s important to know that there is a vaccine available which can help prevent shingles. Shingrix has been proven to be more than 90% effective in the prevention of shingles, including the HZO type.

The Centers for Disease Control recommends this vaccination for all adults with a normal immune system and who are 50 years and older. If this applies to you, I strongly recommend you speak with your physician about receiving this vaccine. Someday your eyes may thank you!

Michael Boehm, M.D. is a board certified comprehensive ophthalmologist at Eye Surgeons Associates with a fellowship in cornea and external diseases and a specialty interest in dry eye. Dr. Boehm practices in Bettendorf and Rock Island. For more information visit esaeyecare.com.

The material contained in this article is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment.

Always seek the advice of your physician.

All the news that’s fit

By Scott LaFee Observation “A grave is a place where the dead are laid to await the coming of the medical student.” - American writer Ambrose Bierce (1842-1914) Stories for the Waiting Room The notion of draining blood from a patient in the theory it will make them feel better only made sense when people believed that disease was caused by four bodily “humors”: blood, phlegm, yellow bile and black bile. Purging, starving, vomiting and bloodletting were ways to restore humor imbalances.

It was all in vein. Case in point: Dr. Benjamin Rush, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence, was a strong advocate of this practice. In 1799, he treated his good friend George Washington for acute laryngitis by draining nine pints of blood in 24 hours. The average adult holds 8-12 pints of blood.

Washington died soon afterward.

The Lousy Traveler Airline agents and other airport workers wryly describe fliers who crowd gates waiting to board as “gate lice,” a none-too-appreciative term for an unappreciated behavior.

Pushing and squeezing to get on a flight as quickly as possible often results in just making the whole boarding process slower.

So why do people do it, especially if they have assigned seats?

Psychology experts offer two explanations: conformity and competition.

First, humans use other humans as sources of information and behavioral cues. If others are moving, you may think it's time to move too.

“People will do any weird thing if they think that's the way to behave,”

Shira Gabriel, a psychology professor at the University of Buffalo told The Washington Post. “When you see people lining up, getting ready, it makes you feel there's a benefit to that.”

That's conformity. Competition arises when you see others moving and believe that not doing the same will bring negative consequences, such as losing the last open space in the overhead bins and having to check luggage.

Food for Thought Frogs and alligators cannot be mistaken for chickens, except perhaps by taste. Why do so many disparate animals seem to “taste like chicken”? Over the years, researchers have posited numerous hypotheses, including that chickens and modern reptiles descend from the same evolutionary roots.

Food scientists, however, say it

really all comes down to biochemical composition - the ratio, for example, of fat composition to muscle with a dash of sugar. The flavor of meat derives from such changing compositions of these molecules, affected by heat.

Chicken is considered a white meat because it has relatively low myoglobin content (a protein that carries iron), but comparatively more glycogen, a sugar. Frogs and alligators are also considered white meat because their muscles have biochemical compositions similar to chickens.

For a different meat chemistry, you have to cross the road to where the cows hang out.

Epitaphs “I'd rather be in Acapulco.” Headstone of Edward Russell Gann, who died in 1983 in Sigourney (not Acapulco), Iowa.

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Mature Focus • February 2024

31

Talking Digital: Are you digitally dependent?

How to reshape your relationship with technology

By Adam Cochran One of my primary goals for 2024 is to be more discerning in how I use social media and technology. My addiction to my phone became especially bad last year, prompting me to examine how my use of social media was impacting my moods.

I realized that when I was happy, I wouldn’t touch my phone. However, when I was feeling down, social media was the perfect tool to confirm my biases. Regardless of how you feel, there is always a quote, platitude or stanza that can make you feel like you’re reading an affirmation or concrete universal truth in psychology or physics. An inaccurate absolute like, “You see beauty in people’s hearts, but the superficial world can’t see past your ugliness” somehow seems more valid when it’s presented in a Courier font over the top of a

photograph with mist covering a vacant meadow.

The challenge of living a connected life, whether through social media or the fact that we have to use internet-embedded technology for virtually every aspect of our lives, is that it encourages you to draw subjective conclusions from objective data.

In the days of check writing and using a check register to reconcile my bank statements, I recall keeping a “secret” buffer amount in my account in case I ever forgot to account for a check or a cash withdrawal. Today, we have debit cards and apps that allow us to monitor our account balances, expenditures and transfer funds seamlessly from anywhere.

The ability to access information about ourselves and the world at any given moment can create a false

sense of security when faced with impulsive buying opportunities. For example, when tempted by a $400 72-inch TV while grocery shopping, you can check your account balance on a smartphone to see if you have enough money. You realize you can

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afford the TV if you buy cheap starchy foods and avoid any emergency expenses.

Another example involves using the fitness data on smartwatches.

While some people may consult these metrics to alleviate guilt after an up-sized meal, the failure to consistently monitor their overall health renders these tools less effective than if you let your conscience guide your fitness and health.

This year, I hope to use my brain, my emotions and my heart more and technology less.

There are many simple ways to cut down on your dependency on technology. Some of these steps can yield immediate benefits without a noticeable sense of sacrifice.

Turn off push notifications for non-essential apps Alerts on your phone and devices can make anything feel like a crisis that demands your immediate attenOnly the Finest Chocolates for Valentine’s Day.

Fe

tion. There’s no urgency in knowing the instant someone likes your post on Facebook. You don’t need realtime updates on package deliveries.

Most people don’t even need to be Social media operates like a real-world soap opera: If you miss a month’s worth of episodes, you can catch up within the first ten minutes of returning to it. immediately notified when they’ve received a new email. By turning off these notifications, you can regain control over your attention and reduce unnecessary distractions.

Force yourself to take social media breaks All social media platforms allow you to deactivate your account temporarily without deleting it.

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Keep a paper journal There is something magical about keeping a paper journal. Unlike digital platforms that merely present facts, a paper journal provides an offline record for the information you choose to remember and document. While technology might serve as a factual archive of our lives, it falls short of deciphering the value found in the time, energy and purpose that can be gleaned from all that raw information.

Increase your people time Go to church, volunteer for a nonprofit, go on more dates, people watch and utilize the phone function of your smartphone to connect with friends for a casual chat or to share a joke. Technology should serve as a tool to make the mundane and difficult parts of life more enjoyable, not as a means to escape opportunities for improvement, connection or fulfilling genuine human needs.

Send your technology questions to Adam in care of Mature Focus, or email him at AdamC@Talking Digital.org.

Mature Focus • February 2024

33

FINANCIAL FOCUS ®

By Edward Jones If you will soon be 65 and you don’t have health insurance through your employer or your spouse’s plan, you’ll need to start looking into Medicare – so you should know your options. And your first big choice will likely be whether to go with original Medicare or Medicare Advantage. Which is right for you?

For starters, there’s no one “correct” answer for everyone. Your choice will depend on a variety of factors, including your own health care needs, financial situation, preference for a particular provider, and so on.

In any case, you’ll need to know the basics of the two programs to even begin evaluating your options.

Here’s a quick overview: • Original Medicare. Original Medicare includes Part A (hospital insurance) and Part B (medical insurance for doctor’s visits and covered preventive services). You pay about $165 per month for Part B (or possibly more, depending on your income level). You can then choose to add Part D, which covers prescription drugs, for about $40 per month and Medigap, which may cost between $150 - $250 per month to cover gaps in Parts A and B. You may also want to pay for private coverage for dental and vision care.

• Medicare Advantage. Medicare Advantage, also known as Part C, is offered by private plans and essentially replaces Medicare Parts A, B and Medigap. Because you must stay enrolled in Medicare Part B with Medicare Advantage, you pay the same $165 per month as you would in Medicare (again, subject to additional charges for higher incomes). Some Medicare Advantage plans have no premiums, while others may charge up to about $60

34 February 2024 • Mature Focus

Turning 65? Know your Medicare options per month. Most Medicare some research and comparisons – so Advantage plans include prescripleave yourself enough time to make tion coverage and many also include the selection that best fits your needs. dental and vision.

This article was written by Edward It’s not always possible to make an Jones for use by your local Edward apples-to-apples comparison of Jones Financial Advisor. Edward Original Medicare and Medicare Jones is a leading financial services Advantage. Generally speaking, if firm in the U.S. with nearly 19,000 you have Original Medicare with financial advisors serving more than Part D and Medigap, you could eight million clients. Edward Jones, expect less restrictive networks, mak- Member SIPC. ing it easier to see the doctors of your choice, and less restrictive coverage – that is, you might be less likely to need pre-authorization for certain services as you might with Medicare Advantage.

Furthermore, unlike Medigap plans, Medicare Advantage plans are not standardized – there’s a great deal of variation in provider networks, drug coverage, premiums, deductibles, copays/coinsurance and out-of-pocket maximums. And some plans have reputations for denying Absolutely Country, claims. When you’re shopping Definitely Gospel around for Medicare Advantage Saturday, February 17, 2024 plans, you may want to talk to your at 2:00 p.m. friends and relatives who have them.

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Mature Focus Volunteer Spotlight

By Ken Ferris

When you or a loved one needs special care.

Help At Home, Inc. is a home care agency committed to enhancing the quality of life for our clients and providing a viable alternative to living in a nursing home or long-term care facility.

Our services include: • Housework • Shopping/Errands • Meal Preparation • Personal Care and more

Habitat for Humanity Quad Cities ReStore opened in 2003.

At the same time, volunteer Judy Rullman started her twenty-twoyear (and counting) journey operating the cash register four hours a week. Recently the old register was replaced with a more sophisticated model (see photo) and Judy said, “I am going to master it.”

Judy was born in St. Louis, Missouri 88 years ago and

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Judy Rullman has been a volunteer for the Habitat for Humanity Quad Cities ReStore for over 22 years.

remembers when Harry Caray was the radio broadcaster for the St. Louis Cardinals.

At one time, Judy and her late husband, Mel, traveled worldwide for Habitat Builds. Diane Schreiner, Retail Manager for Habitat ReStore said, “It was their passion. Habitat Builds became their community and they were committed to not only building a home, but improving the lives of everyone they met along the way.” Adding, “she still does that everyday.”

After graduation from Valparaiso University, Judy began her teaching career as a physical education instructor at Moline High School in the fall of 1958. In 1966, she retired to raise a family. In 1989, she

began working at United Township High School in English as a second language.

Following her retirement in 2004, Judy received much satisfaction volunteering in the

“We couldn't provide the services we offer without our volunteers.”

- Andrew Dixon, ReStore Volunteer Coordinator Moline elementary schools.

Currently she enjoys reading with children at Willard Elementary School. Judy also volunteers at the Black Hawk Outreach Center assisting adults from other countries to perfect their English. Her membership at Trinity Lutheran Church, Moline enables her additional avenues of service.

Heading to her work station at ReStore, the many volunteers and staffers greet her and call out her name. The theme song from the television show “Cheers” comes to mind. You wanna be where everybody knows your name. And they’re always glad you came. So next time you’re shopping in the Habitat ReStore, be sure to say hello to Judy - she’ll be the one behind the new cash register.

Do you know a volunteer who deserves to be recognized? In the coming months, Mature Focus will be highlighting Quad City volunteers who go above and beyond for their community, making a positive difference in the lives of others. Email your volunteer nominees to Kevin Ferris at kevin@maturefocus92.com and tell us why your nominee deserves special recognition for his or her exceptional service.

Mature Focus • February 2024

35

Mayo Clinic: Does loneliness affect your health?

By Amit Shah, M.D., Geriatrician, Internist, Palliative Care Specialist, Mayo Clinic, Ariz.

Q: I worry about my neighbors this time of year who live alone. Are there health risks to loneliness?

What can be done to help?

A: Up to 40% of older adults feel lonely. Loneliness can occur in all age groups, but people over the age of 60 have been shown to have higher incidences of both loneliness and social isolation. Loneliness is a feeling, while social isolation is something that can be measured. For example, how often do you talk to someone?

How often do you leave the house?

Do you attend religious services or other community events? Some people can be surrounded by a crowd but still feel lonely because they're not experiencing good connections. Social isolation measures how often you interact with other people and gen-

Health risks associated with loneliness can include depression, anxiety, increased risks of suicide, premature death, dementia, strokes, heart attacks and other chronic health risks.

uinely connect.

Health risks associated with loneliness can include depression, anxiety, increased risks of suicide, premature death, dementia, strokes, heart attacks

and other chronic health risks. The health risks of a lack of social connection can be just as high as the health risks of obesity, smoking, physical inactivity or excessive alcohol

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consumption. If we pay attention to those other areas of our health, we should pay attention to social connectedness. High blood pressure, stroke and heart attack risk increase as we age. If you combine that risk with someone who is also lonely, that can increase the health risk.

If someone falls who is socially isolated, the risk of complications from a potential hip fracture increases because no one may be checking in on them. If patients are admitted to the hospital for a heart attack and score high on loneliness, they are more likely to get readmitted to the hospital. If you need a colonoscopy but don't have someone to drive you, you might not schedule your needed procedure. Health systems recognize these healthcare impacts and now routinely ask patients about their social connections. The U.K. and Japanese governments have recognized the public health impacts and have established ministerial leads addressing loneliness, including a “Campaign to End Loneliness” in the U.K. There are many things you can do to address loneliness and social isolation. One of the best is addressing sensory deprivation, specifically hearing and vision. When someone has hearing loss, it becomes challenging (even with hearing aids) to go to a party or a crowded restaurant.

The person withdraws because they can't understand what's happening around them.

Things that can help this are getting your hearing checked, ensuring you have a suitable hearing aid and learning how to use it properly. These little “computers for your ears” can make interacting with people in a social setting easier.

Taking the first steps may be intimidating, but someone else's assistance could help get you there. Social workers can be a great resource for connecting people to social resources. People may find support from a faith community or hobby groups. You find like-minded people when

you do things you are passionate about or interested in. Many people benefit from intergenerational activities such as volunteering in schools and reading to children at the library.

Social media and online resources can be another way to discover these opportunities.

While social media is a tool that can be used to connect to people of similar interests, there is still a need for direct human interaction. Physical touch, such as a handshake or a hug, is vital from infancy onward. The holidays can be an intensified time for people to be aware of their loneliness.

Maybe you saw someone throwing a holiday party, but you were home alone. Loneliness may spike during the holidays because of what is seen in the media, through our own expectations or loss of family connection.

When we feel lonely, we may feel like people should come to us and fill our cups, but sometimes it's up to us to put ourselves out there. Even if you take a moment to make a small interaction at the grocery store, it may make your world seem a little less lonely. If we can start giving some energy to the universe, the universe will give it back to us and help us all

feel more connected to each other.

Mayo Clinic Q & A is an educational resource and doesn’t replace regular medical care. E-mail a question to MayoClinic Q&A@mayo.edu.

For more information, visit mayo clinic.org.

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Mature Focus • February 2024

37

Rethinking Valentine’s Day

By Lynn Walker Gendusa Valentine's Day, complete with Cupid, candy, cards, and caresses, is one of those holidays folks often squabble over. Some believe it's propaganda to line the pockets of florists, chocolatiers, and card manufacturers everywhere. Many folks think it's a day to show how much we care about another. Some men and women disappoint their partners when they don't align with Valentine's Day romance. Those who live alone or have lost a loved one can tumble into depression, feeling a profound sense of loneliness.

Is Valentine’s Day senseless, unnecessary, and frivolous? Maybe not if we look at February 14th through rose-tinted corrected lenses.

Humans survive catastrophes, diseases, persecution, anger, and other vile earthly rocks thrown at us, but we do not do well without love.

From the minute we are born, we thrive on tenderness and touch. Our

nature is built on finding someone to share our space, see our smiles, and comfort us in our trials. Without love, we truly are just sounding symbols and empty souls.

Valentine’s Day is typically considered a stamp on romance, but does it have to be? Thousands of folks live alone, but they love. We use love every day like sugar on the table, which makes our lives enjoyable and sweeter.

Who doesn’t love love?

St. Valentine was a Roman cleric who was martyred on February 14th, approximately 269 AD, for ministering to persecuted Christians. God used him to serve others with care and deep concern without fear of death. What love he unselfishly gave.

God sent his son to us out of love; his command was to love one another. We fail miserably when we don't. Folks say it's easier to hate than to love, and it's because love requires heart, and hate requires nothing.

Love produces kindness, compas-

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38 February 2024 • Mature Focus

sion, and happiness. Hate delivers anger, emptiness, and contempt and is dangerously contagious.

My mother lived for 90 years, and by the time she left this earth, she had given away nearly all her possessions except a small box. In the container were items that meant the most to her: pictures of her children, grandchildren and letters. Among them was a letter my father sent her before I was born. They were married for 60 years, and in the early days, they must have struggled, as all couples do. Dad wrote the two-page letter to apologize and express his deep love for her and their baby son.

The box also held homemade valentines I created as a little girl and a few other cards and notes that were significant to her.

Her last possession was a little box that held nothing but love.

Of all the holidays we might need to rethink, it's Valentine's Day because we could all use what it represents. Hate dominates the news, but love must take a stand and be noticed. It all begins with each of us recognizing that we can love a thousand ways and what a blessing it is.

God requires us to boost our hearts and show how much we care about the neighbor next door or the stranger in the store. It's okay to select a flower, card, or candy bar to remind a partner, friend, or family member how special they are.

When I began dating my husband and our first Valentine's Day rolled

around, he thought the holiday was trite and unnecessary. I quickly said, “Valentine's is not about your personal belief; it’s about others' feelings.” Today, he remembers a card or a rose when February 14th is displayed on the calendar. Smart boy.

Even after we lose someone and the pain is intense, we still are thankful for the opportunity to know such joy. When our hearts are broken and love disappoints us, God's promised love embraces and emboldens us to move forward.

It's okay to select a flower, card, or candy bar to remind a partner, friend, or family member how special they are.

Years ago, an old boyfriend decided I would not continue being his girlfriend. Breaking up is always hard, but that ending was brutal. I began dancing late at night, listening to old music. I imagined myself back in dance class with Miss Moody and the joy those dance lessons, recitals, and performances gave me.

I asked a psychologist friend, “Why would I stay up late dancing my heart out?” He responded, “Because you loved to dance so much, it's helping to replace the love you lost.”

Love of friends, family, partners, puppies, kittens, or dance reminds us to appreciate the joy and saving grace it brings.

Make Valentine's Day important because, to someone else, it is.

“The only thing we never get enough of is love, and the only thing we never give enough of is love.” Henry Valentine Miller, an American Novelist Lynn Walker Gendusa is a newspaper columnist in Georgia and a contributor to the USA Today Network. She is the author of “It’s all WRITE with Me: Essay’s from My Heart” and her newest, “Southern Comfort.” She can be reached at lynngendusa.com.

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39

Popcorn isn’t just a guilt-free treat; it’s a canvas for culinary creativity.

Forget the storebought microwave versions. I’ve got the scoop on making your popcorn gourmet.

Popcorn is so easy to make. A healthier alternative to packaged processed microwave popcorn is to use an air popper or make popcorn on the stove, with a clever twist from my mom’s playbook.

MOM’S PERFECT POPCORN Rule of thumb: Each third of a cup of kernels yields approximately 8 cups of popped corn.

Yield: 16 cups Time: 10 minutes 4 tablespoons oil – vegetable oil, olive oil, peanut oil, ghee or coconut oil 2/3 cup popcorn kernels In a medium saucepan, on medium heat, warm 4 tablespoons of oil. My

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Popcorn Palooza: Elevate your snacking game with ten DIY gourmet flavors spoon salt.

Mediterranean: Toss popcorn with 3 tablespoons olive oil, 1/2 cup grated Parmesan, 1 tablespoon Italian seasoning, 1 teaspoon garlic powder and 2 teaspoons kosher salt.

Green Goddess: Melt 6 tablespoons of butter with 1 teaspoon minced, dried onion, 1 teaspoon granuAt pennies per serving, popcorn is a frugal and lated garlic and 1 tablefabulous snack! spoon mixed dried green herbs such as parsley, current favorite oil to use is coconut chives, basil, green onion and taroil for the subtle sweetness it brings. ragon, and 2 teaspoons kosher salt.

Add four popcorn kernels. When Honey Mustard Pretzel: Blend 4 they pop, the oil is hot. Add 2/3 cup tablespoons melted butter with 2 kernels to the pan and cover. Here’s tablespoons brown deli or Dijon muswhere my mom got clever; remove tard, 1 tablespoon honey and 1/2 teathe pan from the heat for 1 minute to spoon kosher salt.

Drizzle over poplet all the kernels warm up evenly.

Then place the pan back on the heat corn and toss with 4 cups mini pretand let the popcorn cook until it’s all zels.

Chesapeake Bay: Melt 4 tablepopped. Hardly any old maids! spoons butter with 2 teaspoons Old Here are ten DIY gourmet flavored Bay Seasoning.

Drizzle over popcorn popcorns that turn this humble snack and mix with 4 cups oyster crackers. into a symphony of flavors. Let the Sriracha with Lime: Blend 4 popping begin! All these tablespoons melted butter with 1/4 recipes use 16 cups of cup Sriracha, 1 tablespoon lime juice, freshly popped popcorn.

1 1/2 teaspoons grated lime zest and Ranch: Melt half a 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt.

Drizzle over stick of butterwith 1 tablepopcorn and toss. spoon nutritional yeast, 2 Buffalo Blue: Melt 6 tablespoons teaspoons dried dill weed, butter with 1/3 cup Buffalo hot sauce.

2 teaspoons dried parsley, Toss with popcorn, sprinkle with 1/2 2 teaspoons onion powcup crumbled blue cheese and 1/2 der, 2 teaspoons garlic teaspoon celery salt. powder, 1 teaspoon Tropical: Melt 4 tablespoons butter lemon pepper and 1/8 tea-

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40 February 2024 • Mature Focus

with 3 tablespoons powdered sugar.

Toss with hot popcorn and add a (10 ounce) package of dried tropical fruit mix. Season with salt.

Cinnamon Toast: Melt 6 tablespoons butter, drizzle over popcorn.

Mix together 1/3 cup sugar, 2 teaspoons cinnamon and 1 teaspoon kosher salt. Toss with popcorn and add 4 cups of your favorite cinnamon cereal.

S’mores Popcorn: Toss popcorn with 4 tablespoons melted butter.

Place popcorn on a large parchmentcovered baking sheet. Sprinkle 2 cups mini marshmallows, 2 cups crumbled

graham crackers and 2 cups chocolate chips over popcorn, and bake at 300 F for 5 minutes. Toss to coat.

At mere pennies per serving, if there -From Page 6 ever was a frugal and fabulous snack, The medical field is not blameless this would be it. While butter and salt in this problem. It takes so long to get are certainly tasty, why not try one of an appointment with certain physithese delicious recipes to add POP to cians — and, depending on your your favorite treat! insurance situation, can be so costly Lifestyle expert Patti Diamond is the — that many people choose the do-itpenny-pinching, party-planning, yourself method. Especially when it recipe developer and content creator comes to things folks are reluctant to of the website Divas On A Dime discuss, like depression, obesity or Where Frugal, Meets Fabulous! Visit erectile dysfunction. divasonadime.com. Email Patti at divapatti@divasonadime.com We’re not doctors. We overreact. We misinterpret.

We clutch onto one line and ignore the others.

Eventbrite.com, search Bix Birthday.

Albom

And many of the sites that confuse people are posted by major hospitals and physicians’ groups. Perhaps they think they are providing a service. But when you post all the information about everything — from harmless discomforts to life-threatening conditions — you’re expecting people to be discerning in how they use it, and, simply put, we’re not that smart.

We’re not doctors. We overreact. We misinterpret. We clutch onto one line and ignore the others.

Which is how my foot tingling became an unnecessary nightmare.

And why I am stepping out of the arena. Covering the keyboard.

This year, when it comes to maladies, I resolve to stay away from search engines, wait and see if the situation persists, and be patient until a human professional sees me in person.

Of course, the next time I get a strange headache, or a funny feeling in my chest, the computer will no doubt begin to whisper seductively, “Psst! Over here! I can give you an answer in 30 seconds!”

Which is why I am hanging a note just below my screen: This device can be hazardous to your health!

Contact Mitch Albom at malbom@freepress.com. Check out the latest updates with his charities, books, and events at MitchAlbom.com Mature Focus • February 2024

41

Multitasking isn’t all it’s cracked up to be control. So having that option but ignoring it makes my habit that much more disturbing.

I love to multitask.

I can’t just do one thing at a time,

By Ana Veciana-Suarez focusing my attention and energy on It might surprise you to know that a single task. Oh no, not me. I love I’m not perfect - it certainly shocked to keep several balls up in the air, juggling separate tasks or darting me! - and one of my objectionable from one venture to another. The behaviors is something I should be ensuing chaos delights me. I feel an able to stop or, at the very least, uplifting sense of accomplishment Making Friends even as I stress out.

Welcome Service, Inc. Let me regale you with examples. I can WELCOME binge-watch my • Newcomers • Newlyweds • New Babies favorite TV show Area Businesses while folding launREACH New Customers dry AND soaking Call Bonnie - - my feet to prepare www.makingfriendsqca.com for a home pedicure.

42 February 2024 • Mature Focus

Pretty impressive, no?

Also, I can walk three miles in the morning while listening to a podcast on the craft of writing AND snapping photos of interesting scenery to post on social media.

I live in a perpetual state of overwhelm.

The circuitry in my brain is overloaded. I swear that sometimes I can see the sparks flying out my ears.

There’s nothing I can’t do. I am woman. Hear me roar.

But here’s the reality check: Multitasking really doesn’t work.

Study after study has proven that our brain cannot do multiple things all at once. It merely switches from one to another. I know this, and my work shows it. I don’t complete any of the tasks particularly well. The laundry folding is abysmal and my retention of the writing podcast dreadful. And please don’t ask about the quality of my pedicure. I had to wear close-toed shoes until I found the nail polish remover, which I then applied during a Zoom call.

For the past few weeks, however, I’ve made an effort to concentrate on one thing at a time. If I’m scrubbing pots, I won’t gossip over the speaker phone with my BFF. When The Hubby is talking to me, I resist

glancing at the magazine article I want to read. And while FaceTiming a grandchild, I refuse to thumb through the Christmas catalog on my lap.

I am here. I am in the now. I am present.

It’s so dang challenging, though, the impulse so ingrained that I have

Coming in March Why do you care?

Keeping older drivers safe on the road What's on top of your refrigerator?

Dating in the digital age Prayed for a Pete and got a Pepper Protein to fuel everyday adventures

to grit my teeth to stop myself.

Mind Gym Answers Aargh. I feel too many responsibilPuzzles on page 22 & 23. ities are falling through the cracks, too many demands are going unmet.

How could I possibly consider slowing down? In a 24/7 society, life races past, and if I don’t chase it, if I don’t move faster and faster, I will never keep up.

Except all that running has left me breathless. I live in a perpetual state of overwhelm. The circuitry in my brain is overloaded. I swear that sometimes I can see the sparks flying out my ears.

Surrendering to the moment becomes particularly difficult during the holidays. There’s shopping to do.

Gifts to wrap. Cards to send. Parties to attend. Cookies to bake. The seasonal merry-go-round turns into a dizzying whirl because we expect ourselves to be productive at all times. Even standing in line to pick up a prescription at the pharmacy can be used constructively. It’s prime time to catch-up with email.

So, why am I writing about this?

Why am I publicly admitting to conduct that has been proven not to work?

Because I know I’m not alone.

Because I fear I’m addicted to checking things off my list. Because getting things done should not be proof of worthiness.

We need, I believe, some kind of 12-step program - an organization, a support group, too - for multi-taskers who want to change. For people like me who are recovering from excessive list-making. For exhaustively striving women who tackle anything and everything to show off their competency - putting at risk their peace and pleasure.

Ana VecianaSuarez writes about family and social issues.

Email her at avecianasuarez@gmail.com or visit her website anavecianasuarez.com.

THANK YOU!

Mature Focus • February 2024

43

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