MASSIVE Magazine - Issue 5 - 2022

ASSIV

MASSIVE

5

28 March 2022

Hauora

Editoral

3

News

4

Features Identity Journeys: Stories from the Pacific Diaspora

10

There’s No Shame in Being Medicated

14

Modern Psychology is Kinda Shit

16

Rediscovering your Inner Child

22

Hauora Needs to be Reintroduced at University

26

Columns Worst of the Worst

28

Sexcapades

29

Confessions of...

30

Te Reo and NZSL

31

Solicited Advice

32

Horoscopes

34

Snapchats

35

Puzzles

36 38

Presidents Column

Editor - Mason Tangatatai

Designer - Marie Bailey

Sub Editor - Jamie Mactaggart Feature Writer - Aiden Wilson ’tbeMagzin,syvoldchmpruf eatosdrwCuncilhPeZtNgsMav eE sandopir,blfwAt.ThvcPSu Mme etMasynprdihgofvc g.nzemaior@svdtyqucPlp U

News Editor - Elise Cacace

News Reporter - Sammy Carter

Illustrator - Kimi Moana Whiting

Culture Editor - Elena McIntyre-Reet

Feature Writer - Mia Faiumu

Illustrator - Sara Moana

Feature Writer - Lily Petrovich

Photographer - Amelia Radley

AT’S IN Don’t tell me to harden up

This just in, New Zealand has been named the tenth most happy country in the world.

Based on economic and social data along with people’s assessment of their own happiness, the UN-sponsored World Happiness Report reminds us that, despite our troubles, we have a lot to be grateful for… right?

Aotearoa is known for its tough bloke, hardenup culture, but what irks me the most, is when someone patronisingly tells me that “other people have it worse,” and that I should be grateful.

No shit, Sherlock. Don’t get me wrong, I understand that people have it way harder than I do, but when has saying these words ever helped ANYONE?!?

For someone to come out and say this just reinforces the idea that my feelings are invalid, and that I shouldn’t voice them. This leads to people bottling up their emotions as they don’t feel worthy of complaining. All because, someone didn’t have the emotional intelligence to provide any form of support. Shit, right?

A concept that I’ve come to grips with over the last year, is not comparing one person’s hardships to the hardship of others. When someone tells you they are going through a rough patch in life, for them, this may be the toughest challenge they’ve ever faced. The best thing you can do is help them in whatever way they need. This could be a shoulder to cry on or a keen ear to listen. Just don’t be a dick.

Also, for people struggling with mental health, don’t wait for them to contact you. Reaching out to them can make a world of difference, and sometimes asking for help is too much of a task, or feels like a burden to do so.

I’m no expert, but I hope these tid-bits help you help others. Anyways, we’ve got some amazing pieces scattered throughout Massive’s hauora issue this week. I hope you learn a little about different ways to deal with your mental, physical, spiritual and whānau health throughout this issue.

Just remember, if you are in need of help, contact: Lifeline – 0800 543 354 (0800 LIFELINE) or free text 4357 (HELP).

Suicide Crisis Helpline – 0508 828 865 (0508 TAUTOKO).

Healthline – 0800 611 116 Samaritans – 0800 726 666 Kia pai tō ra, Mason Tangatatai

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

WHAT’S GOING ON? WEEKLY NEWS UPDATES

Fuming from fuel prices?

Here’s five ways to get around for free Sammy Carter (she/her)

of high fuel prices on Uber drivers. The surcharge will be per kilometre, drivers will get about 40 cents extra for an average trip. It’s a tough time for Uber drivers, they could use a cutie in their passenger seat, and you’ll save the extra 40 cents!

Student loans, part-time jobs, rising cost of living and we’re meant to afford fuel at $3 a litre – nah uh.

2. Find your old skateboard from your skater boy phase and Marty McFly your way around

With Jacinda showing disapproval to Russia, which is a major oil exporter, there is less supply coming to us so fuel prices are rising. A 25 cent off per litre tax reduction came into action mid-March, saving people a little bit of their dignity for the three months it will be in place. Public transport costs will be halved in April. All of this will be paid for with the Covid-19 fund which has made space for the reductions now that MIQ doesn’t need funding.

You’ll find it somewhere behind your rusty scooter and deflated football. The average price per litre of 91 octane petrol was $2.45 in the December quarter last year, Stats NZ reported.

Now most of the country has paid over $3 dollars per litre of 91. Labour said the tax reduction means drivers save more than $11 when they fill up a 40 litre tank, and more than $17 dollars when they fill up a 60 litre tank. This has definitely helped drivers, but 25 cents off per litre hasn’t taken away all the pressure. Make light of the circumstance by living out your bad boy fantasy on the streets.

When will fuel prices go down?

Your gas is as good as mine. In the meantime, here were the students’ top five suggested free modes of transport.

1. Start an affair with an Uber driver I know you’ve looked at their eyes in the rearview mirror and envisioned a life together. Uber, as well as other ride sharing companies like Zoomy, have introduced a temporary fuel surcharge. This will lessen the impact

3. Shave your beard, squeeze into your old school uniform and jump on a school bus I’m sure you missed antagonizing your school bus driver and holding your breath from the kids vaping in the back. Jacinda announced public transport prices would be halved in

PHOTO 85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz @splendid.nz

April temporarily. As uni students have been begging for free public transport for years, this is an exciting step in the right direction. The Green Party started a petition calling for free public transport for everyone in Aotearoa. The petition got over 10,000 signatures in less than two days. We’ve all signed lots of free public transport petitions, but let’s hope this one goes somewhere. Most secondary school students, lucky bastards, get free transport to and from school each day.

If you need a ride to town, chuck a school hat on over your receding hair line and no one will notice you’re 23 with stubble.

4. Get in a rubbish bag and wait for the dump truck to pick you up But don’t forget to use a biodegradable bag! Cars have been seen queuing all over the country due to warnings fuel prices may keep rising. Some places have lines going down the road with people arguing about queue cutting.

If you get really desperate, get your flattie to put you out on the road side for collection and the lovely rubbish man will take you on a tiki tour around the neighbourhoods.

If all else fails, try number five: 5. Get really high and imagine yourself where you need to be.

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

No ‘main character moment’ for Wellington graduates Sammy Carter (she/her)

After years of studying and last semester all online, 785 Wellington graduates lose their April ceremony and a postponed ceremony hangs in the air.

Massey announced to 2021 graduates that the 12 April graduation ceremony was postponed until October due to red light restrictions, but with the uncertainty of restrictions nothing is for sure.

Graduating student Bella Bolter heard the news through email on 15 March, the day after her birthday. She said, “My family was gonna come down from Auckland, I’ve been at uni for years so I’ve been planning this. I wanted to have a big main character moment.”

Bolter had been at uni for five years and racked up a huge student loan, she deserved a ceremony to celebrate completing a Bachelor of Communications. “My plan was always

like, I’m gonna sneak a Boom into my gown so I can have some walk-up music.”

“When my exes graduation got cancelled in 2020, that was funny. I was like, “it’s what he deserves,” but this time it’s not funny.”

Massey plans to courier certificates to graduates. Bolter said, “I just know NZ Post is so incompetent so I don’t even know if I’m gonna get it.”

“I’m gonna lose my 40,000-dollar piece of paper.”

April graduates not only have a postponed ceremony, but had to do their last semester entirely online.

Bolter said, “I had my last class in August and I didn’t even know it was my last in-person class.”

“One of my friends told me that when she had her last class in her graduating year, her professor clapped her out.”

By October, many graduates will have started jobs around the country and started their lives. “April till October is still quite a big gap and lots of people move for work anyway so lots of people miss their graduations,” Bolter said.

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Luckily Bolter will be able to attend an October ceremony. She is making the best of her circumstances and plans to have a photoshoot with her certificate.

Bolter understood why Massey made its decision. “At the end of the day it’s the safe thing to do, like imagine the PR nightmare of ‘Massey Graduation cases super spreader’.”

A Massey University spokesperson said 785 students planned to attend the Wellington ceremony, and this doesn’t include guests that can bring attendance up to 2,500 people. “We know celebrating and capturing the moment of graduating is a highlight, which is why we are committed to holding ceremonies later in the year, if restrictions allow.”

“Students who applied to graduate will have their qualification conferred

by Massey University’s Chancellor on 12 April, and have their certificate couriered to them.” The spokesperson said decisions about the Manawatū and Auckland ceremonies are still in progress as the decisions are normally made approximately five weeks prior to any large event.

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Nursing shortages – they’re not going away any time soon Tegan Jaggard

Nursing is a prestigious career to go into. Nurses help to save our lives while also doing all the dirty work that doctors don’t want to. But as the nursing strikes have shown over the years, nurses are heavily overworked and severely underpaid. According to careers.govt, registered nurses earn roughly $60K a year while working anywhere from eight to 12 hours in a day.

New Zealand is now facing a nursing shortage, meaning that nurses are having to work a lot more hours than usual for the same rate. This has resulted in 400 aged care beds closing across the country.

So how does this affect people enrolled in Massey University’s Nursing School?

I interviewed Holly Stone, a secondyear nursing student at the Wellington campus about her experiences as a nursing student during a national nursing shortage.

Holly has always cared about people and wanted to help them, but being a doctor “wasn’t for me”. But she wanted to do something in the same field. “I don’t think I would be able to handle that many years of study, or the tuition.”

“I still plan on becoming a nurse, unfortunately,” Holly said when asked about future plans for her career.

“I don’t know if I’ll stay in the country, honestly,” she added. “I love New Zealand, but I don’t think it’s a realistic option.” Though Holly knew that nursing is an “underappreciated” job in terms of pay, and realises that her only real option is to leave New Zealand, she can’t help but feel guilty for leaving. “I feel like I’m screwing over my country but I’ve seen people move and be treated better overseas.”

Contrary to this point, overseas nurses have flocked to New Zealand as it’s quickly become a destination where nursing jobs are available, and the pay is better than many other countries.

So why is New Zealand still in a nursing shortage when nurses can get paid more to come here? Nurses from overseas have been leaving “in droves”, according to Newshub’s Adam

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Hollingworth. Many of these workers are leaving because they’re sick of New Zealand’s lengthy visa process, and the rights they lose while in “visa limbo”, such as the right to health care.

This has created a profession that is unattractive to international nurses, but also New Zealand nurses.

Holly isn’t alone in wanting to leave New Zealand. When asked if her peers felt the same way Holly said, “Yes. Nobody I’ve talked to wants to stay.

They all have plans to leave as soon as they can.”

On top of nursing shortages, Covid-19 has pushed the entirety of nursing online and they’re still paying internal course fees. It’s made the course unappealing to most. “We’re not getting the same quality of education but we’re still paying the price. It’s not fair.”

The nursing shortage isn’t just affecting the current state of health care, it’s going to continue to affect health care until the issue is resolved.

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Govt reveals recycling action plan

create greenhouse gas emissions,” explained David Parker.

Elise Cacace (She/Her)

When food breaks down, it produces a harmful gas called methane.

heavy consumers of alcohol. Being able to do good for the environment, clear the flat of all those empty bottles and get paid to do so is the perfect incentive to start recycling.

“Providing access to household kerbside food scraps collections is a simple step to reduce emissions and return nutrients to the soil,” he added.

The third step focuses on diverting business food waste from landfill and instead using it to improve soil and feed animals.

The second step is to create a container return scheme where people will be able to return empty drink containers in exchange for money.

Germany, Austria and Wales are already carrying out this scheme and have the highest recycling rates in the world.

“New Zealand businesses generate 25 per cent of all food waste that goes to landfill. Along with reducing greenhouse gas emissions, separating out food scraps can help businesses identify ways to reduce food waste and save money,” said David Parker.

You don’t have to be an environmentalist to know that New Zealand’s current recycling system is pretty poor. Every year New Zealand generates more than 17 million tons of waste, and over 76 per cent of that is sent to landfill. Compared to many other countries, this statistic is rubbish (pun intended).

On 13 March, the Government revealed an action plan to reduce this percentage and improve our country’s rubbish and recycling systems, emissions and pressure on the environment. For students, who arguably produce the highest amount of glass bottle and aluminium can waste per household, this action plan is of a particular significance.

The plan is comprised of three parts.

The first is to adjust our household kerbside recycling system to include food scrap collections.

“Food scraps make up more than a third of a typical household’s rubbish each week. When sent to landfill, they

“More than two billion drinks are sold in New Zealand every year, and less than half of these containers are recycled, meaning that over a billion containers end up as litter, are stockpiled or sent to landfill each year,” said David Parker.

“With a container return scheme, we can increase our recycling rate for beverage containers from between 85 per cent and 90 per cent.”

This scheme is ideal for students, most of which are skimp on money and 7 / Karere

“By 2030, we want all businesses and households to separate food scraps from their rubbish.

“We are taking action that will make a real difference, and want Kiwis to have their say.”

The Government are calling on the public for feedback, which will help shape the final reform proposals.

Anybody is able to make a submission on any of these proposals by going to environment.govt.nz.

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Russians in Aotearoa worry about how they will be viewed by Kiwis following the war Rohan Latta

Yulia is wary – even this far from Moscow – of speaking to media about Ukraine.

Her fear is not for herself, studying at university in the safety of Aotearoa, it’s for her family.

Yulia is not her real name used here.

She reflects on being a Russian expat in Aotearoa during the war, and about misconceptions some Kiwis have about people from the invading nation.

“It was terrifying, the first day going on social media and seeing Russia invaded Ukraine,” she tells me over Zoom from self-isolation in her student flat.

With increased Russian censorship and companies like Facebook leaving Russia, her biggest worry was waking up and having no contact with her family back home, but, so far, her family and friends are all okay.

Yulia’s family does worry about the

increased anti-Russian sentiment in western countries since the war began, but she says on the whole Kiwis have been supportive although more people have been curious about her opinion on the war.

example with the 2021 arrest of Kremlin critic Alexei Navalny. She says it has been getting worse with the Government now blocking foreign websites and starting to check phones on the street.

Her dad who is part Ukrainian became nervous when he couldn’t make contact to family in Eastern Ukraine during the first days of the war.

“We were raised to see both sides, but sometimes it’s hard because I can’t understand any other perspective in this situation at all.”

Yulia says the most absurd part of the war is how interlinked Russians and Ukrainians are and that she never felt the need to explain her family history because “they are almost the same, speak the same language, [but with] different traditions”.

Yulia says a lot of Russians are scared to be vocal about opposing the war because they risk everything, including their career.

She says her family is not an outlier with her friends and the majority of Russians having Ukrainian family members, and with Russians and Ukrainians living on both sides of the border.

“My friends have actually been captured by police officers in the protest,” Yulia says, referencing the anti-war protests thousands attended in major Russian cities.

She believes the Russian Government has done well in hiding domestic opposition even before the war, for

There are also a lot of Russians who don’t have access to independent media or even reliable internet, and Yulia wonders how they can be expected to oppose the war let alone know what is happening in Ukraine.

Russian state media maintains there is no war in Ukraine, labelling it a special military operation, and the Government has shut down independent media that don’t tow the government line.

She wants Kiwis to understand that the internal political situation in Russia is complicated and to find out what is actually happening before making conclusions about an entire country.

CAPTION: The Russian Embassy in Wellington spray-painted with Ukrainian colours as Russians in Aotearoa worry about how they will be viewed by Kiwis following the war.

Image: Rohan Latta

28 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Distance allows students to juggle study with elite sport Ian Pattison

Massey University student Ben Barclay responded to my interview request from Innsbruck, Austria where he’s on tour again following the Winter Olympics in Beijing. This is typical for high-performance athletes, who seem to spend more time out of the country than in.

It must be an interesting challenge, I thought, trying to juggle the training commitments of an elite athlete with study while, often, being on the other side of the world.

I wanted to know what demands their sport placed on them, and how they handled those demands while studying. So, I asked our 2022 Winter Olympics competitor students what it was like to compete at that level while studying at Massey University.

My impression was that a typical week involved a lot of skiing, which was confirmed by Bachelor of Psychology student Cool Wakushima, who competed at Beijing in the slopestyle event.

“I usually go up the mountains to train every weekday from around 9am till 2-2:30pm.”

Bachelor of Business student and halfpipe competitor Chloe McMillan, Ngāpuhi, says, apart from training camps, the target was four days per week. But it isn’t all ‘smooth sailing’, or skiing.

So this is all starting to add up a real time commitment. How do the students manage to fit in a study schedule as well, particularly if they are operating from the wrong side of the clock?

“We deal with weather so sometimes when snowstorms happen my actual training in the halfpipe could only be 1-2 days.”

They all take advantage of the flexibility they get from the distance learning zoom sessions as it allows them to attend the lectures around their training as Cool explains.

To complement the technical training they do, athletes have fitness a regime that is designed to keep them in shape and avoid injury.

As Chloe says, “I spend a lot of my energy and time on strength and balance training to minimise as much on snow risk of getting injured as possible.”

“I have been lucky enough to join zoom lectures on my own time.

Basically they record the lectures and I can play them on my own time.”

Ben says the University has been helpful with allowing him more flexibility for assignment submission, especially during the busy Olympics qualifying period last year.

Ben, who is also studying for a Bachelor of Business, has a similar approach. “We mainly just focus on being as strong as we can to perform these tricks and prevent injury.”

Cool also sees the benefits of her of sports psychology study and says it was helpful for her mental preparation for competing.

Cool is conscious to balance the fitness training with the technical practice.

“This was actually quite helpful during competition and training since snowboarding takes a lot of mental preparation before dropping in.”

“Throughout the season we have about 2-3 gym sessions a week to keep ourselves fit but also not overdo our work since we’re on snow.”

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Mia Fiaumu (she/her) Illustrated by Marie Bailey

Identity Journeys: Stories from the Pacific Diaspora As we focus on hauora this week at Massive, I took the opportunity to deep dive into the connection between Pacific ethnic identities and mental health and well-being.

For this topic, I had the honour to talanoa with Dr. Melani Anae, Polynesian Panther and Associate Professor of Pacific Studies at the University of Auckland.

For many of us, this hasn’t been possible. Many will have experienced their identity being forcibly split to choose certain avenues of achievement. Many will have Aotearoa’s colonial and capitalistic notions of success pushed upon them. Many will have abandoned part of their identity to simply exist within palagi institutions. Many will have not have been given the chance to explore their identity at all.

Melani has carried out research on the relationship between ethnic identity and well-being, as well as implementing this into her university classroom and curriculum, putting the Polynesian Panther Party platform of ‘educate to liberate’ into action.

This is the reality for many amongst the Pacific diaspora, where we exist removed from our homeland, and try to retain our understanding and knowledge of our culture and language through expressions of the Pacific within New Zealand.

There is a plethora of research out there that evidences the link between ethnic identity and well-being. Many of us reading this right now are the evidence of this. We are the next generation of New Zealand-borns, who have been dealt the challenge of navigating our acculturation to Aotearoa while trying to keep our ethnic identity secure and whole in the process.

Coming to understand yourself in a country that is not your own can therefore be a confusing experience. I love the term that Melani uses - identity journey – to describe the voyage one must go on to navigate their own identity throughout their lifetime. This reminds us that our identity is not static, and our perception of the self will shift and transform over time.

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This has been a breath of fresh air to come to terms with, personally. Feeling insecure in your ethnic identity can be a disheartening and disempowering experience. To be able to remind myself that I am on an ever-continuing journey allows me to keep my head up and dig deeper.

I am a Samoan, but not a Samoan.

To my aiga in Samoa, I am a papalagi.

I am a New Zealander, but not a New Zealander.

To New Zealanders, I am at worst a ‘bloody coconut’, at best a ‘Pacific Islander’.

To my Samoan parents, I am their child.

This is the identity verse from Melani Anae’s thesis on the ethnic identity journeys of New Zealand-born Sāmoans.

She explains that this is the crux of the identity journey, in that you are the child of your parents and the culture that they instilled within you. This knowledge of yourself will subsequently secure your ethnic identity.

“Once you realise that, then you are able to position yourself in a place of empowerment,” Melani explains. “[Your identity] is something that can get challenged every day, its everyday racism, its everyday whispering by your brown friends that you’re not Sāmoan enough…

It’s because those challenges are everyday that it’s so important for you have a hook that you can relate to which helps you to identify as whatever it is.”

Educate to Liberate The work that Melani Anae does envisages a future where Pacific youth don’t have to experience these negative feelings related to their identity. Her Pacific Studies courses provides students with the tools to use their ethnic identity as a protection and buffer for negative experiences associated with ethnic identity, such as racism.

The course teaches students the three Cs – Colonialism, Christianity, and Capitalism. This enables students to understand themselves and their heritage in deeper ways than previously possible.

“At the moment we are a skeleton, we need the flesh of this knowledge that has been hidden from us through institutional racism,” explains Melani.

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Teaching students in ways that enables them to learn about themselves, their histories and their culture provides students with the tools for a secure ethnic identity. Currently, our institutions do not provide this type of education and many Pacific students feel insecure within their sense of self.

Students within Melani’s course commented that through the course they were able to find balance by feeling confident within their identity. A student noted that if they did not acknowledge their ethnic identity then they wouldn’t be honouring themselves, and thus would be taken off balance within their lives.

Without this balance, we are not optimising our full potential and are neglecting vital parts of the self. We can find balance in our identity as New Zealand-borns while still finding ways to honour and dig deeper into our heritage.

“People don’t understand that. They put their ethnic identity at the door to become professionals,” says Melani.

“What they leave at the door is worth gold in terms of helping the people through their knowledges.”

In this sense, it is also impairing our ability to contribute to the work that can help our people and communities the most.

“You have to be confident in your identity before you do the mahi,” explains Melani, “and there’s too much work to do to help our people.”

The ability to provide this type of empowering and liberating education to Pacific youth from earlier stages could therefore be revolutionary for our people.

“This is what we have to do for the next generation is expose those [cultural values] again for them,” says Melani. “Excavate them because they’re hidden under this framework that we have to be Kiwis.”

“That’s how you can heal is by trying to negotiate those indigenous references. Like tautua, to serve, fa’aaloalo respect, alofa - love, usita’i – discipline.”

It is from these understandings of the Pacific, that we will reach our optimal potential and be able to uplift our communities. We must find ways to connect to our culture and strengthen our identity. This is not just an issue of identity, but a crisis of mental health in which so many are lost within the diaspora, unable to find the hook that will ground them.

I hope that the future sees this type of education expanded widely and implemented within all schools across Aotearoa. It is likely that this would enable Pacific students, like myself, to embark on their identity journeys much earlier than we are currently seeing.

This piece is a reminder to myself, and to the other multigenerational migrant children of the Pacific diaspora, that the future is ours to claim. It was ingrained in my sense of self for so long that I wasn’t worthy of identifying as Sāmoan. Now, I am shaking away this imposed racism and embarking on the identity journey that has always been set out for me.

“That’s why I did this course, to introduce that to stageoners. A short cut for the new generation to work out who they are and then do the mahi that needs to be done.”

It is essential that we dig deeper into ourselves and feel confident in our ethnic identities. Without this confidence, we are constantly berated with feelings of unworthiness and imposter syndrome.

We can find healing and liberation within our cultures that will enable us to live our truest selves. Hiding your identity and culture behind the guise of being a ‘New Zealander’ does not work – it does not serve us.

E lele le Toloa ae ma’au i le vai The Toloa bird flies far but will always return to the water.

I write this in the hopes that it resonates with other Sāmoan and Pacific people out there who feel uncertain in their ethnic identity. I write this to affirm to myself, if anything, that I am worthy of my Sāmoan identity and all of us New Zealand-born Pacific children are valid in claiming ownership over our culture.

I write this for all of us. Who have ever felt like we must justify or quantify our connection to the Moana.

12 / Karere

There’s No Shame in Being Medicated.

Elena McIntyre-Reet (she/her) Illustrated by Marie Bailey

When you have a migraine, someone will offer you a Panadol to help ease the pressure in your head. It’s a pretty basic principle really; something is causing you discomfort and you use medicine to treat it so that you can go about your day without being in pain.

Antidepressants work the same, helping balance the chemicals in your brain so you feel well enough to live your life. They’re not an instant fix, nor the only solution to help a low mood. However, they are often shrouded in a sense of shame or secrecy, which is weird because I’ve never felt ashamed of having a migraine.

“My older sibling has always had problems with their mental health, so growing up I felt like I wasn’t depressed enough to reach out for help because I wasn’t as bad as them. It took me having a full-on mental breakdown to go to student health and get on medication,” Zoe* tells Massive.

Data obtained by Newshub found that 8.6 per cent of New Zealanders had used antidepressants over a 12-month period in 2018. Data released by RNZ found that prescriptions for antidepressants were at an all-time high in 2021, showing us that more New Zealanders are reaching out for help when they need it, and maybe the sense of shame was being lifted a little. Mental health is a nuanced topic, delving into the ins and outs of the mental health system in New Zealand would take more time than there is in a single week. Instead, I wanted to talk to some people who have reached out for help with their mental health, and their experiences going on medication to treat it.

“I basically came off them because they ruined my sex drive, and I was in a bit of a hoe phase so that wasn’t going to work for me”, she says.

Emma* has always been an anxious person, she has health anxiety and was often written off as being a hypochondriac or a germaphobe. It’s a lot more complicated than that, and it worsened to the point where she couldn’t leave the house or do the things she loved.

“Going on antidepressants changed my life. I was having panic attacks all the time, and basically stayed inside for a month because my anxiety was that bad. I wasn’t doing any of the things I loved, like exercising or playing my guitar. Once I went on medication I could do those things again,” she tells Massive.

The difference between just surviving and feeling actually well is a big one for the people I spoke to, yes before medication they weren’t in immediate danger but they also weren’t thriving. This is an issue in itself, we get an idea in our head about what depression is supposed to look like, as if there’s a quota for how bad your mental health has to be for you to deserve help.

When she finally did get on medication, the side effects had a huge effect on her. She thought she would be okay to take herself off them, but decided to go back to her doctor and try different medication after a short while.

The timeframe to be on antidepressants is different for everyone, some people can come off them and manage their mental health in other ways like therapy.

However, a lot of people don’t see themselves coming off them.

Charlie* has been on fluoxetine (also known as Prozac) since she was 16. She was having a difficult time at school and often coming home exhausted and upset about what had happened that day. Her parents noticed her constantly focussing on the negative and they decided to talk to her.

“They sat me down and told me that I wasn’t myself lately, and that they thought I needed help. Anxiety and depression runs in my family so they put the dots together and decided to take me to the doctor. I’ve been on antidepressants for five years now.”

No experience with medication is the same, some people will be able to go on medication and pick up healthy habits like therapy and exercise, then be able to come off them. For others though, it’s a way to make their brain feel balanced.

Getting diagnosed with depression can be a difficult process, especially for young women. In my experience, a lot of medical professionals tend to chalk it up to hormones. When I went in as a teenager, they told me I was young and that it would pass. They set me up with a counsellor who had a six-week waitlist, and also happened to be the most

14 / Aronui

terrible therapist I’ve ever encountered. Luckily, I was able to bring myself out of that spell once I left high school, and got myself diagnosed properly so I could learn to manage it.

Lily* had a similar experience. She noticed that in the two weeks leading up to her period she just felt absolutely awful and often had really dark thoughts.

It would come and go, and half the time she felt fine.

But when she felt bad, she would feel really bad. She did some research and figured out she may have premenstrual dysphoric disorder (PMD). Essentially, PMD sufferers have feelings of extreme anxiety, irritability and low mood in the weeks before their period. These symptoms usually go away once their period starts.

Lily was fully prepared when she went to her doctor’s appointment, determined to be listened to. She was always dipping up and down in her mood, and wanted to do something about it because it was impacting her life in a major way.

“I would always get told to go out for a walk, or do some mindfulness exercises. But no amount of meditation is going to fix a chemical imbalance in your brain,” she says.

Sophie* says for her, managing her mental health is about trying to stay positive and acknowledging you’re not going to get it right 100 per cent of the time.

“What I try and tell myself is; it doesn’t matter if you fuck it up today because tomorrow you’ll do better.

It’s okay to feel awful, but it’s not going to be like that forever,” she says.

Going on medication is a big step for a lot of people, it involves acknowledging that you don’t think you can manage on your own. No one should feel embarrassed about going on medication, in fact I would argue it shows a sense of self-awareness and emotional intelligence. Being able to say to yourself “I’m not okay” shows that you’re strong. Reaching out for help and getting it shows that you’re strong.

We need to start treating mental health the same way we treat physical health, as something that is treatable. Medication won’t work for everyone, in the same way therapy won’t work for everyone, but it’s a step in the right direction.

Constantly engaging in a battle with your own brain is awful, you feel shit for not knowing how to control your own brain. I asked people how they manage their mental health themselves, as well as being on medication.

Zoe finds that managing her own expectation of productivity helps her stay on top of her mental health and not get overwhelmed.

“I basically plan a few days to be unproductive, if I have some free time I will schedule in a morning or an afternoon where I just lie in bed and do nothing.

It gives me something to look forward to and I don’t feel bad for not being productive because I have specifically planned to not be. I’ll sleep in and go on TikTok for hours and not feel bad about it, to make sure I have enough energy to do the things I know I need to do,” she says.

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Modern Psychology is Kinda Shit

Psychology as we know it is largely based around one crucial but mildly questionable document - the DSM-V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).

Frequently labeled as the “bible of psychiatry”, the DSM-V provides framework for diagnosing mental illnesses and disorders. It’s the very document which has brought us the diagnosable labels of ADHD, anxiety, depression, PTSD, BPD, and many, many more.

The problem? Globally, experts and organisations in the field, (such as the American Journal of Psychiatry, the National Insititute of Mental Health, the British Psychological Society) have condemned the use of this document. The writer of the original edition (the DSMIII) literally prefaced the document warning against its use beyond a way to perceive clusters of symptoms – it was never intended to actually be used for forensic or insurance purposes.

Lily Petrovich (she/they)

“Nonetheless it gradually became an instrument of enormous power: Insurance companies require a DSM diagnosis, and academic programs are organized around DSM diagnoses,” explains Dr. Bessel Van der Kolk, one of the world’s leading experts in trauma, in his book The Body Keeps the Score. “A psychiatric diagnosis has serious consequences: diagnosis informs treatment and getting the wrong treatment can have disastrous effects.”

To this day, our mental health system fails thousands, giving the public countless misdiagnoses.

Countless sources emphasize the profit the American Psychological Association (APA) - the producers of the DSM and its revised editions – make with each edition released, climbing up to hundreds of millions of dollars.

Sarah Fay is a journalist and activist who received six misdiagnoses from the DSM. In an article for Mad in America, she critiques the upcoming release of the DSM5-TR (Text Revised). The problem with mental health labels is once you get one, it tends to become a part of your identity. You start to notice any patterns of behaviour which match that label.

Big pharmacy in America treats psychiatric drugs like any product on the market, the DSM makes this even messier. She tells a story of Vyvanse, an amphetamine that was brought to the market and sold as “the only drug available to treat [binge eating disorder]”, a diagnosis that came with the DSM-5.

16 / Aronui

“Vyvanse became the official BED medication because there was a DSM diagnosis of BED. The FDA seemed not to mind that it hadn’t been proven as an effective treatment for binge eating disorder beyond its appetitesuppressing properties. A spokesperson for the Food and Drug Administration (FDA) said the drug was approved simply because there was no other medication to treat the newly minted binge eating disorder,” explains Fay. According to Fay, the introduction of this diagnosis would bring roughly $200-$300 million to the company, with 21 million new potential consumers. The psychiatric drug industry treats real people as consumers. Isn’t America meant to be in charge of the WAR on drugs, not the market for them? This whole system reduces drug users to either consumers or criminals.

Dr Van der Kolk also paints this very problem with the DSM well, “Before the late nineteenth century doctors classified illnesses according to their surface manifestations, like fevers and pustules, which was not unreasonable, given that they had little else to go on. This changed when scientists like Louis Pasteur and Robert Koch discovered that many diseases were caused by bacteria that were invisible to the naked eye. Medicine then was transformed by its attempts to discover ways to get rid of these organisms rather than just treating the boils and the fevers they caused. With DSM-5 psychiatry firmly regressed to early-nineteenth-century medical practice. Despite the fact that we know the origin of many of the problems it identifies, its ‘diagnoses’ describe surface phenomena that completely ignore the underlying causes.”

Regardless of the backlash that came with the latest edition of the DSM, the APA are still releasing yet another revised edition this month. The only difference is this time they’re keeping its release hushed and only available to those in the field.

The APA describes the upcoming edition as “the most comprehensive, current, and critical resource for clinical practice available to today’s mental health clinicians and researchers,” but experts are skeptical.

Dr. Stephen Ecks also condemns the DSM-5 in an article for the Canadian Medical Association Journal. Dr. Ecks quotes the British Psychological Association who blame the DSM-V for “the continued and continuous medicalisation of ... natural and normal responses.”

The grief following the loss of a loved one (if lasting past a year) has been introduced as a diagnosis that can be medicated.

Dr. Ecks draws on another quote from Psychology Today writer Allen Kuffel, who says that “turning bereavement into major depression would substitute a shallow, Johnny-come-lately medical ritual for the sacred mourning rites that have survived for millenniums”.

President of the New Zealand Psychological Society Peter Coleman, and president-elect Kerry Gibson have also commented: “We, like many psychologists around the world, are concerned that the changes in the DSM are not supported by clear research evidence. As is generally recognised, DSM has always been a consensus document and in part reflects changes in social norms and beliefs (e.g. homosexuality was once listed as a mental disorder) as much as empirical research.”

While the document isn’t required to be used in New Zealand, it’s enabled and frequently used by professionals across the country for diagnoses. With most fun things that come from America, the document is ridden with western rhetoric, really only addressing western ways of thinking.

Hauora is the Te Ao Māori concept of wellbeing, it challenges how western institutes tend to treat mental illnesses (which is of course drugs and one-on-one therapy with a usually Pākehā professional), taking a far more holistic approach.

Hauora focuses on four dimensions of well-being, taha tinana (physical), taha hinengaro (mental), taha whа̄nau (family and social) and taha wairua (spiritual). Identity is crucial to hauora, whereas medicine is primarily emphasized throughout the DSM. A study by Frontiers in Public Health explains that this “include[s] socio-economic factors, history, colonisation, structural, interpersonal or internalized discrimination, policy, changing demographics and media representation”, all of which of course was brought here with colonialism.

Ginda Ryder, in a medically-reviewed article for PsychCentral explores the implications of the DSM’s

17 / Aronui

diagnosis of schizophrenia for indigenous cultures.

Ryder emphasizes the impacts of colonisation, indigenous worldviews, institutional racism and political marginalisation when dealing with mental health within indigenous cultures. Hauora covers these aspects where the DSM completely neglects to do so. Still, western approaches to mental health (including the DSM) are commonly employed when treating Māori patients.

Schizophrenia among other diagnoses relies upon western systems, and “often distort the social and cultural realities of non-western populations,” explains Ryder.

The article is careful not to group all indigenous populations together (to do so would be ignorant). But, of course, similarities are still found in the way this western thinking had caused issues for indigenous populations across the globe regarding mental health.

Ryder quotes Jacqueline McPherson, Health Director of the Osoyoos Indian Band, a First Nations government operating in Canada. “Treating mental illness is as much about identity as it is about medicine.”

The DSM focuses heavily on the individual, without taking other dimensions hauora considers.

A Frontiers in Public Health study found that Māori youth tend to have poorer mental health than Pākehā youth.

They also found that “a strong sense of Māori cultural identity was associated with improved well-being and reduced serious depressive symptoms”, but this in turn also led to higher rates of racial discrimination, which goes back to being associated with poorer mental health.

The DSM, as a major influence on modern psychology, stupidly emphasizes medication and not a whole lot beyond that (aside from maybe a sprinkle of one-on-one therapy).

A participant in a study regarding bipolar disorder amongst Māori and Aotearoa’s mental health services explains what she’s been through and seen. “I’m one of those fortunate people. I’ve had a lot of help, I’ve had a lot of people who have spent time. When I see tangata whaiora now, and I look at them, they seem so medicated, they’ve had their wairua taken off them.

I’ve had the opposite. I’ve had people come in, always at a level which is to support and not to be a nuisance.

I’ve had some really good psychiatrists that have given information, they’re kind of an open book. The psychiatrists that sit there with their questions and judgements, they are useless, but the others that are holistic, they are good.”

“Participants were critical of care settings where the culture was dominated by westernized approaches, or Māori tikanga, kaupapa, values and practices were applied tokenistically rather than being a core consideration throughout,” the study found.

“Unfortunately, participants described a tendency for health staff to fail to acknowledge or enquire about the cumulative impact on whānau of caring for a loved one with a chronic condition like [bipolar disorder].”

Whānau of a participant also shared their story. “By the time we knew what was wrong, she was well and truly unwell, and had to go to a mental health unit. The crisis team weren’t around. We didn’t know what to do.

I got my local doctor, who we trusted. But he, like a lot of the professionals didn’t know what to do, and didn’t help. So, I learned what to look for. I found it happens really fast, extremely fast. That was the hardest thing to communicate to the professionals. That I knew she was unwell, but they’d wait until she was really bad.”

We absolutely are in a time of change. More and more professionals are taking hauora into account, but we still need to do more. Research on Māori mental health is still relatively scarce, especially in comparison to more generalised studies of New Zealander’s mental health. The problem with that is that you can’t generalise Aotearoa’s culture, as we are a multi-cultural country.

Outcomes of certain treatments need to be tailored to a patient, and this means going beyond performative applications.

Aotearoa’s mental health sector no doubt needs a big ol’ revamp. While the DSM-V isn’t required to be used by professionals here, it doesn’t change the influence this document has. This document continues to cause harm to our already mentally fragile. To efficiently care for our mentally vulnerable and to honor Te Tiriti o Waitangi, we should really biff this document out altogether. This whole situation harms both marginalised groups and those living with mental illnesses, groups which voices aren’t as amplified as they should be. As a country we need to bring these issues into the spotlight, sit down, and listen when people are sharing the effects of our broken systems.

18 / Aronui

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Painting by Marie Bailey

REDISCOVERING

Your Inner Child

“What the fuck?? I’ve had a child living in me this whole time?? I’m not even pregnant!”

– Some guy after reading “inner child”, probably.

Aiden Wilson (he/him) Illustrated by Kimi Moana Whiting

You ever heard of Brum?

A few nights ago, after a case of the ol existential dread, my partner and I decided to watch a few episodes. The joy that little yellow car gave me was unparalleled, fueling my nostalgia and wonder as I watched him zip around helping the people of London solve their dumbass problems.

Episode two sees Brum lose a child’s kite, needing to chase it down for him, as it gets snagged on washing lines and creates general chaos. Eventually he runs out of fuel and has a large kite built for him so that he can use the wind to get home.

What the hell were these kids shows, like what were they even about? It didn’t matter back then, and it certainly doesn’t now.

In times like these, the importance of looking after your own mental state is a high priority, one a lot of us neglect to do. I’m guilty of this, and you probably are too. When you’ve got so much going on, taking time out for you to just feel happy and have fun doing dumb shit doesn’t seem useful. It can feel like a time waster, a portion of your day that could’ve been used for study which was taken up by watching Brum.

That activity took me back to a time before uni, before stress and responsibility.

It made me feel like a little kid again, great for me because childlike wonder and fun, horrible for everyone else because I was a very annoying kid.

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But Aiden! What exactly IS the

Inner Child?

As I know I can’t explain it perfectly, I asked my partner who is a postgrad psychology student AND wears glasses, so you know they’re smart!

“The concept of the ‘inner child’ has had many different meanings over the years, with the origin of the term generally traced back to psychologist Carl Gustav Jung in his work about the ‘divine child archetype’ which he associated with qualities of innocence, purity and redemption.

In modern pop-psychology, the ‘inner child’ is the expression of your child self, and all the strengths (and wounds) associated with that period of your life - e.g., innocence, curiosity, care-free nature, creativity. This is why some people say they are channelling their ‘inner child’ when they reconnect with activities they did and traits they had as a child.” – Jess, my awesome partner who wears glasses.

And that’s exactly what Brum helped me to do: reconnect with child Aiden. Being able to just zone out and watch that little yellow car honk and sputter as he chased that damn kite made me so happy. It brought back some much-needed carefreeness to my life, even if it was just for a moment.

So, you’re probably thinking, “Well that’s fine and dandy Aiden, but what does this mean for me?”

Thing is, I don’t know what it means for you. But I can show what this looks like for me.

In the spirit of practicing what I preach, here are some of the things which I do to reconnect with my inner child, which should help give you an idea on what to do yourself.

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Building Lego Sets Little Aiden was obsessed with Lego sets, specifically Star Wars ones. However, there were two issues: he had no money, and not enough space in his house for infinite Lego.

Big Aiden has a job though, so he can buy as many Lego sets as he desires, not giving a shit about the amount of space they eventually will take up.

Whilst at face value it’s just me spending money on a toy because I can, it feels like so much more than that. It’s my way of living out a child fantasy I couldn’t because Aiden was a $broke bitch$ up until the age of 18.

The act of going to the aisle, picking out a set, then spending an afternoon building it is incredibly therapeutic. It’s a very personal way for me to relieve the stress of university in a healthy manner. Healthy for me, not for my wallet.

It also allows me to further get in touch with inner Little Aiden, channelling him and getting some much-needed mental respite from the everyday battles of student life.

Reading Diary of a Wimpy Kid I feel like I don’t even have to explain this. Wimpy Kid has been going on for far too long, and every new book in the series somehow jumps the shark even further. Yet the completionist in me is compelled to read the next one whenever it comes out.

Every year for Christmas, I receive the latest book from my grandma. And while she thinks it’s a bit odd, it allows me to keep a childhood tradition alive. Plus I’d be lying if I said I didn’t enjoy the hell outta these books.

24 / Aronui

Eating lukewarm noodles I find describing taste hard, so you’ll just have to take my word it when I say the way I prepare noodles makes them taste better than noodles have any right to taste. It takes me back to eating two-minute noodles at lunchtime when I was in early childcare. Very, VERY specific I know, but that’s kinda the point of this whole inner child thing if you haven’t caught on yet…

On the face of it, all these might sound random and like they wouldn’t benefit my mental health in the long run. However, these experiences represent a time before I had to worry about stupid shit like taxes or paying for course fees. They all provide escape (however fleeting), to a time where I was carefree and didn’t have to worry. They all help me to reconnect with little Aiden, and when we’re living in such strange and stressful times it can be so beneficial to do that for even a few minutes.

All these experiences are mine, and you’ll have your own.

Find those, allow yourself to indulge in them! Watch that childhood film, cuddle that soft toy, eat your favourite simple snack under your blanket you’ve had since age five. Be kind to yourself, take a break and just have a moment to be connected with little you for a little while.

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Hauora Needs to be Reintroduced at University

The idea of being fit and healthy has been constantly shoved down our throats since we were old enough to use the internet. While this is neither good nor bad, it’s important that as students we don’t neglect other aspects of health and wellbeing in the pursuit of short-term gratification. Hauora, the Māori paradigm that describes the foundation of well-being as a whare with four walls, needs to be reintroduced at a university level.

Mason Tangatatai (he/him) Illustrated by Marie Bailey

You may remember hauora from your Year 9 P.E. class.

That 15 minute lesson where your Pākehā teacher discussed that health is not just about being ripped, but it’s fact about your mind too?! While this fever dream may only occupy a small neuron at the back of your brain, its message needs to be front of mind when envisioning what well-being truly is.

Hauora is a concept that needs to be given more weight than it currently has in schooling.

Sir Mason Durie’s interpretation of well-being, Te Whare Tapa Whā, helped me realise that what we should be searching for consists of four balanced sides.

These sides are taha tinana (physical health), taha wairua (spiritual health), taha whānau (family health), and taha hinengaro (mental health).

Now, I’m no expert on the in-depth understanding of these, but these concepts make clear sense to me. You don’t have to be a rocket scientist, nor an expert in mātauranga Māori to be confident that there’s more to health than just the physical bit. Hauora tells us exactly that.

As students we often fail to juggle multiple focus areas at once. Whether this is a week of healthy eating or a brief 26 / Aronui

stint at your local gym. In each of these cases we exert all of our time and effort into pursuing a quick feeling of wellbeing or accomplishment. While this is an accomplishment nonetheless, how often do we neglect other sides of health in this pursuit?

We don’t want to sacrifice three walls of the whare to fulfil one. This is a dangerous but all too common pursuit that we - as students who are trying to navigate the world and their physical health - fall into.

I know it can feel hard to try and improve in multiple aspects of life at once, but having hauora in mind can help encourage a more balanced approach.

Unfortunately, this balanced approach isn’t reflected at a national level. The way we still measure and approach health in New Zealand is, by-and-large, just physical. And people are treated in our health system, by-and-large, on physical measures.

If we look directly at serious medical events, many are accelerated by or heightened by mental situations related to whānau and spirituality. Acute emotional stress has, for a long time, been linked to sudden cardiovascular events such as heart attacks. Divorce, death in the family, prolonged illness, unwanted change of residence, natural catastrophe, or a highly competitive work situation, all put individuals at a greater risk of suffering from cardiovascular disease.

This shows that our pursuit for physical fitness is not fully found within the body, but our mind plays a major part. It’s a scary reminder that health is not purely in our bodies.

All of this should give some weight to Durie’s health model, and you could argue that the model should provide guidance as to how we, as students, define and deal with health and well-being in our society.

I guess that’s the ‘Pākeha’ health model we’ve adopted, and it certainly shores up one wall of the whare.

However, if there were links between physical and mental/ spiritual/family health, and we used them effectively, imagine how much better our collective well-being would be if we considered the other three sides of the whare.

So are there links between these?

be plenty of data relating to the ‘’side’’ of mental health, including stress, but family and spiritual health data is even harder to come by.

To achieve true well-being it may not always be about trying to be the best in a single area of health, but instead putting smaller amounts of time and effort into resurrecting all four walls of the whare.

If we were to start teaching this at a university level, we may be left with a cohort possessing a stronger connection to what well-being really is.

There always is. Firstly, you can only associate or link variables if you can measure them. As they say, if you don’t measure it, it doesn’t exist. But if you don’t think it’s important you won’t bother to measure it. There should 27 / Aronui

worst of the worst

movie reviews Every week I’ll be watching the worst rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes so you don’t have to.

I’ll be doing one every week until the final issue where I’ll review the worst movie ever made (according to a random article I found). What are my qualifications you ask? I took Introduction to Media Studies in my first year and got a B average, so I think I know what I’m talking about.

I’m going to watch each of these movies and decide whether it is rightfully on the worst movies of all-time list, based on my expert opinion.

This week for Worst of the Worst we have yet another sequel, and weirdly another movie starring John Travolta.

Staying Alive is the (not) critically acclaimed sequel of Saturday Night Fever. To put it into perspective, the first movie has a Rotten Tomatoes rating of 82%. The sequel, like all movies I’ll be reviewing for this column, has a 0%.

A fall from grace would be an understatement to describe this franchise, I think it would be more accurate to call it a plummet straight to hell. I’m beginning to think that John Travolta is the Chris Pratt of the 80s, getting chucked in a movie to make it popular and flog that dead horse for all it’s worth.

Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her)

Staying Alive is about as bad as it gets, I’m not a fan of musicals as a general rule. I find them a bit cringey (I’m looking at you, Cats). However, Saturday Night Fever was pretty good, with enough plot to justify the music and fun 80s outfits. Staying Alive, however, is just so bad that the musical element isn’t even the part that pissed me off the most. It is pretty hilarious and dated, so if you want a good laugh during a study break, please YouTube ‘Staying Alive Opening Scene’ it’s hilarious.

It has kind of a romcom feel to it, the plot is all very boy wants girl, girl says no, boy convinces girl. It’s predictable and definitely did not keep my attention. The songs are not nearly as iconic as you’d expect from a movie starring Danny Zuko himself, but there are a few bangers thrown in there.

The redeeming quality for this film is almost definitely the hair styles, they’re straight up delightful. You could probably see the exact outfits and hair from this movie, browsing Cuba Mall on a sunny Saturday. I know I’m not the target market for this film, because I was born nearly two decades after it came out, however I think if I watched it with my mum, she would feel very nostalgic. The legwarmers, the headbands and the smoking inside are probably quite nostalgic to our parents.

This movie definitely deserves to be on the Worst of the Worst, mostly because they insisted on making a sequel to a film that had already seen major success. You can’t make a good movie and then just make a sequel and assume it will do just as well, with the exception of Shrek.

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SEXCAPADES

The insta-shitter.

My birthday eve started off like any good Saturday should. Pre drinking with the gals was going swimmingly, and as usual, we took things a little too far. After a few hours of screaming our lungs out to whatever song shuffled on Spotify, we dozed off to town, ready for a vigorous night of sitting down in the clubs and eyeing boys up from across the room.

It was at this moment our eyes locked. Oh boy, this moment sent me into a dogged frenzy.

After five minutes of being with my group, I had sneakily table hopped and ended up chatting a storm with this talk dark, and don’t forget handsome young lad.

You know how the story goes, two hours of smalltalk pass and I finally convince him to ditch his friends and come back to mine. Things started off pretty well, a cheeky drunken hookup, but unfortunately the whiskey had made its way to his cock and he was as limp as an overcooked noodle.

As the gentle-women I am, I yarned with him for a while, made sure his fragile ego wasn’t

broken, and we nodded off together. I was the big spoon.

A couple hours later, I heard a peculiar struggle in the hallway of my flat. I called out to see if he was okay, he quickly rustled back to bed and in my drunken state I didn’t question a thing.

The morning rolls around and I’m by myself, the bastard has scurried off in shame. Fair enough.

After an hour and a half lying in my bed, feeling sorry for myself because I didn’t get any dick, a smell violently invades my nostrils. I perk up and follow the trace, leading with my nose like one of them tracker dogs. My eyes can’t find the culprit, but the ol trusty nose leads me directly to the 1900’s persian rug my parents let me borrow. I lift the corner of the rug and the smell intensifies. This limp dicked man had shit in the middle of my hallway, and tried to cover it up.

In a rage induced text I press him, asking why the fuck he would do such a thing. This was his response: “I have a private instagram where I document the shits I take at girls flats, sorry.”

29 / Rangitaki

Confessions of...

someone who stopped pretending

CW: Mentions of suicide.

It wasn’t until I was lying in the hospital bed in April last year that I started thinking about everything that had happened and all the choices I’ve made in my life to end up here. I can’t blame the mental health system for failing me, I can’t blame my family for not loving me, I can’t blame the trauma that I went through. But as I was laying on that hospital bed, I realised that if I was still trying to kill myself in my 20s and that the system had failed me ever since I was a child, I wouldn’t be the only one.

The mental health system doesn’t listen to kids, they treat kids as if they don’t matter and they’re dumb, because they’re a kid. Everybody talks now about how the mental health system is fucked and how we need money, no, fuck that. Money doesn’t mean a thing if you don’t know what the issue is. We have no shortage of people coming into the mental health sector, quantity has never been the issue, it’s the quality. The people working for the mental health sector, not everybody, but enough of them are absolute shit, they shouldn’t work with kids. They don’t listen to them, they make you feel like you don’t matter, they make you feel that because you are a kid, you don’t know right from wrong. And because the people that are supposed to help you make you feel worthless, you don’t get better, but you learn to pretend. You perfect the art of pretending to be okay, and shoving down your problems, because you realise a hard truth, people don’t care if you’re okay, they just can’t be bothered dealing with you if you aren’t. So you pretend.

I don’t want people to go through life pretending. I don’t want kids to be taught to shut up. I don’t want kids to learn how to shut down and pretend. I don’t want people to end up like me.

So I stopped feeling sorry for myself, I stopped asking “why me”. I began asking what I can do about it, how can I fix it, and I made the decision to study social work so that I can help prevent kids from ending up where I was. I can’t fix the entire system myself, but I sure as shit was going to try.

I used to wonder why I was born into abuse and misery, until I realised that I had to be. In order to help kids avoid ending up like me, I had to experience it first-hand.

Changing your mindset is not easy and I am not going to pretend it is. It takes a lot of practice, self-sacrifice and cutting a lot of people from your life. You still have bad days, but you still hold onto the hope that now you are in control of your future, and you can shape it into whatever you feel like. But ask yourself this, are you making the decision to better yourself and future generations, or are you making the decision purely based on feeling sorry for yourself?

Nobody can help you if you aren’t ready to help yourself. Are you ready?

Confessions of a is an anonymous column tha looks o t unearth viewpoints from unique individuals ta Massey Univesr it.y Each e w ek e w wil gie v the spotlitgh o t someone new, so If o y u think o y e u’v got an intee r sting story o t e t l, please get in o t uch with diE o t r@massivemagzine.org.nz 30 / / RanRangigiitak itak/ Rangitaki 30 30

31 / Rangitaki

SOLICITED ADVICE

Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugarcoated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind.

What’s the best way to quit my job?

Google ‘resignation letter template’ and just go from there.

However, I did once iconically quit a job by sending in the following, which might make for a good template: Good morning, I’m afraid to announce that I have skrrd my last skrr for *company*. I’ve been offered a job doing *something that I actually got paid well for and didn’t get threatened to be killed*. I’ll probably get fired though and come crawling back. *company* 4L tho and fuck Uber Eats xx

How to gaslight?

Lie and deny, baby. Lie and deny. Gaslighting by definition is making someone question their reality. So, lie about your recollections of events and instead frame them to favour your agenda, and deny any wrongdoings on your part. But please loyal worshipers, use your gaslighting for good. Gaslight people into thinking their pretty, funny and clever, when they are in fact ugly, lame and stupid.

That being said, maybe if you think everyone is gaslighting you, then you need to look at the common denominator (you)... and maybe you are crazy xx.

How many times should I forgive someone?

I’m a sucker for an apology, so I’m going to say infinite. That being said, forgiving someone and letting that person go back to the position they used to hold in your life are two different things. I forgive people for me, not them. For me, holding on to that energy isn’t healthy… and, as I’m sure you’ve come to realise, forgiveness is very ego fueling. Nothing says you’re literally the kindest person in the world like being forgiving.

Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? DM Massive Magazine on Instagram and look out for next week’s issue.

Also, follow us while you’re at it x

32 / iRangtk

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Horoscopes Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Nothing like suppressing your emotions through alcohol, chocolate and Uber Eats. They warm you up inside more than your significant other ever could.

Call your parents back you twat

Go back to your roots and do something childish and random.

Idk, go climb a tree, do some finger painting, let that inner child out.

Your coping mechanism of the week: Food rebound

Your coping mechanism of the week: compassion

Your coping mechanism of the week: being kiddy

Taurus

Gemini

Aries Be a yes man! Many great opportunities come from taking that dreaded leap of faith, take my hand and jump x

Drink a whole bottle of water before the two coffees you have each morning. It might help with the constant headache.

Your sarcasm definitely hasn’t lost you all your friends, keep using it to deflect king!

Your coping mechanism of the week: balls

Your coping mechanism of the week: Wai

Your coping mechanism of the week: Maybe not sarcasm?

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

A 7-day isolation will RUIN your mental… wear a mask and continue to sanitise.

If you find yourself stuck between and a rock and a hard place, just remember that whatever you decide will never be as bad as the people who decided to study law.

This week will be the unwanted Cherry Ripe from the box of favourites. Everyone fucking hates it. Keep your head up and push through to better days.

Your coping mechanism of the week: two metres of distance

Your coping mechanism of the week: hindsight

Your coping mechanism of the week: Crunchie

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Dodging sick people at uni is a must. Don’t be mask-fished.

Everyone is ugly underneath the mask.

You know you had a mean weekend when you wake up still drunk, curled up on the floor around a road cone you got from who knows where.

It’s time to take the plunge into that hip-hop career you’ve been considering. Your rap name is “lil” followed by the last thing you cried over.

Your coping mechanism of the week: Willpower

Your coping mechanism of the week: 2x panadol, blue v and a filthy pie

Your coping mechanism of the week: Straight bars

34 / Rangitaki

MASSIVE_MAG MASSIVE

ODA T Y

MASSIVE

Send us snaps to get featured in next weeks edition

reaktime time BB reak

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Waikato University student magazine (5) Velvety, usually chocolate dessert (6) Capital of Portugal (6) Worst toys to step on (4) Crack (7) Party drug (4) 3 litres a day (5) The new Batman (9) “Its about drive, its about _” (5) Scared of the dark (11) Failed the gunpowder plot of 1605 (6) Group of owls (10) A symptom of long-covid, brain_ (3) Spinach eating sailor (6)

36 / raingtak

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Te reo for talk (6) U2 sang about a colour (6) Want to do (4) This issues theme (6) Inward dents in cheeks (7) Sex column (9) Lil Nas #1 hit (11) _ the builder (3) The spot to chill on the Manawatū campus (9) A taste not for everyone (8) Explosion the morning after drinking (9) Where you might meet your match (6) Washed once a month by most men (5) Taken during a lecture (5)

Get Lost

LAST WEEKS CROSSWORD ANSWERS 2 OUIJA, 8 THIRTY, 12 JUKEBOX, 13 SKIN, 15 NINETYFIVE, 16 BOULT, 17 VOWEL, 21 BRIDGES, 23 ARRESTED, 26 RIHANA, 27 SNAG, 28 FRESHER DOWN: 1 SIGHT, 3 VAPE, 4 CHORIZO, 5 MITTENS, 6 RUCK, 7 CUBE, 9 TAXES, 10 BEN, 1 CONCOURSE, 14 ISOLATE, 18 WILIAM, 19 REWANA, 20 WHENUA, 22 PANDA, 24 TOH, 25 DANDRUF

Copyright © 2022 Alance AB, https://www.mazegenerator.net/

35 by 23 sigma maze

Word Wheel The target is to create as many words as possible from the letters within the Word Wheel.

Sudoku

37 / Rangitaki

Fiona and Lizzo MAWSA

Hello wonderful Massey goers. It’s the Health and Wellbeing issue this week! The past two years has been a huge challenge but we’re so proud of everyone sticking with it and rolling with the punches. Remember to not only look after yourself, but to look out for your mates.

Asking “Are you okay?” could make a huge difference. MAWSA offers financial, tenancy, academic and personal advice so please don’t hesitate to get in touch. We’re 100% INDEPENDENT from the uni so you know you’re in good hands <3

MARLA MUSA Kia ora Students!

Something that is very dear to my heart is sustainability, and next week is Massey’s Climate Action Week! I urge you to sign up by the QR code next to this and feel free to pop along to one or all events they’re putting on!

As a “poor student,” it’s hard to make sustainable choices when they can often be more expensive and more inconvenient than the usual ones, which is why it’s so important to listen, learn and kōrerō about it! You might find out something you didn’t already know! So go on! QR code! Now! XOXO, Your Palmy Prez 38 / Rangitaik

ENTS michaela ASA

Kia ora kotou and welcome to week 5!

We are well on our way to reaching the halfway mark of the semester. Now is a great time to check in with yourself, how are you doing mentally, physically, spiritually, and socially?

It’s important to acknowledge that this is a challenging time, with Omicron still lurking and the move to online lectures. You may feel stressed and pressured to be on top of things, keep in mind many people can help you. Lecturers can offer extensions, whanau can offer moral support, or help with things such as cooking a nourishing meal.

It’s also paramount to be kind to yourself! Cut yourself some slack!

You don’t need to be perfect, just be good enough. Any effort is a good effort, so just keep chugging along at your own pace. Think about what you really need right now, it could be a hug, it could be your favourite meal, it could just be somebody to vent to. Take some time out to care for yourself (easier said than done), reinstate Self-care Sundays. I use this time to meal prep, take a bath, and go for a long walk. This moves on to my next point, keep active! To keep those creative juices flowing, you gotta keep moving and keep it fun! I love dancing around the house like Shakira, she is my spirit animal <3 Finally, if you ever need another support system, we at ASA are here for you. We can help with welfare, hardship, and being a shoulder to lean on. You can anonymously email us at advocacy@ asa.ac.nz, or to me personally at president@asa.ac.nz “Believe you can and you’re halfway there” ~Theodore Roosevelt~

There’s a 60+-year-old bias in the tertiary sector. We’re talking about anti-distance learning bias currently trending thanks to COVID and internal students discovering the long-standing systemic issues within online learning. Despite this dialogue saying online learning isn’t equitable, there is significant history to support the equalising nature of distance learning, especially for students with disabilities, rural New Zealanders, single parents, busy parents, second-chance learners from disadvantaged backgrounds, and mature students wanting to avoid implicit (and sometimes explicit) abuse received from younger internal students, for following the path of lifelong learning. Distance learning was not originally designed for internal students. Thus, gross generalisations about the inequity of distance learning are harmful.

Jacalyn and Jax M@D 39 / Rangitaik