i’m readin’ it
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14 March 2022
The Food Issue
Editoral
3
News
4 10
Arrest at the Protest Features Unequal Food Distribution is Putting the Blame on Pacific Islanders
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Depressions Meals
16
What the Fridge?
22
A Definitive Ranking of the Instant Meals I Ate in my Childhood
24
The Taste of Home
26
Columns Sexcapades
Editor - Mason Tangatatai Feature Writer - Aiden Wilson ’tbeMagzin,syvoldchmpruf eatosdrwCuncilhPeZtNgsMav eE sandopir,blfwAt.ThvcPSu Mme etMasynprdihgofvc g.nzemaior@svdtyqucPlp U
Confessions of a...
30
Te Reo and NZSL
31
Solicited Advice
32
Horoscopes
34
Snapchats
35
Puzzles
36
Presidents Column
38
Designer - Marie Bailey
Sub Editor - Jamie Mactaggart
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News Editor - Elise Cacace
News Reporter - Sammy Carter
Illustrator - Kimi Moana Whiting
Culture Editor - Elena McIntyre-Reet
Feature Writer - Mia Faiumu
Illustrator - Sara Moana
Feature Writer - Lily Petrovich
Photographer - Amelia Radley
AT’S IN Do your dishes. Tēnā koutou e hoa,
Food is a fickle subject for students. Some of us love to chef it up in the kitchen, creating culinary masterpieces to fill our pukus. Others resort to a steaming mess of Indomie noodles, without the chilli sauce, of course. One aspect of food that binds us all together, regardless of our cooking skills, is the fucking dishes. Instead of using my editorial to preach sweet nothings, I thought I’d impart the only ounce of wisdom within my body, and share my newfound love of dishwashing. I probably wash two to three batches of dishes a day. Dirty cutlery, plates, bowls, spatulas, and Tupperware go into the sink filthy and come out reborn. I dry them with a heinous tea towel. I put them away. Eat, drink, repeat. I’d say roughly 30 minutes of my day is spent dealing with dishes, mostly other peoples. That’s 10 whole days a year with my hands immersed in Morning Fresh-soap-spiked water – my fingers left wrinkly as fuck. It’s an amount of time I could be doing literally anything else. Reading a book, going to the gym, hell, I could even kick on writing content for Massive, but I find there’s solace in the mundane. When it comes to a meals, there’s always too much emphasis on the cooking, the ingredients and importantly, the eating. There are thousands of books and TV shows dedicated to doing (and enjoying) each of these to the best of our ability. But to my dismay, we never see a single form of entertainment romanticising, the washing of dishes. Though largely disregarded and sometimes loathed, the washing is as much a part of the meal as all the rest. If a meal were a film, dishes would be the climactic final scene.
There’s a tranquilising rhythm to washing the dishes by hand, which, despite the clatter, can be meditative and perfectly solitary. It’s one of the rare household chores that can be done standing still and without bending over. Doing the dishes is a time to remove yourself from the chaos around you, but still get ahead in life. This is especially true if you manage to clean your dishes as you cook. It’s a proven fact (by me) that your meal will taste astronomically better if you take the time to do your dishes before you sit down and eat. I mean, you’ll also be the favourite flatmate by a country-mile. So it really is a win-win. So, if you managed to read this entire personal recount of dishwashing, don’t be a loser. Pick up that crusty Tupperware container you refuse to remove from your bag, find that fork that fell behind your bed six months ago, and give it a scrub for me. If Massive Magazine’s editor dedicating an entire editorial to not being a shit flatmate isn’t a sign, then frankly, I don’t know what is. Kia pai tō rā, Mason Tangatatai
14 MARCH 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
WHAT’S GOING ON? WEEKLY NEWS UPDATES
Some Fear No Amount of Funding will Solve the Mental Health Pipeline Sammy Carter (She/Her)
A $3.8 million funding boost for mental health and addiction support is “not the end of that fight,” says an Auckland MP, Chlöe Swarbrick. An immediate funding boost for mental health and addiction support was given to three Auckland universities including Massey University’s Albany campus at the start of the semester. However, there may be more to stopping mental illness than just funding support. Massey worked with the Ministry of Health to find the best use of the funding. The Albany campus used the funding for additional counselling services outside of hours and Wellbeing Advisor Roles for Māori and Pasifika students. It has brought on new full-time student health workers, including non-clinical and clinical workers. Auckland’s Green MP Chlöe Swarbrick as an advocate for mental health and youth, pushed for the funding boost. You may remember her as the viral baddie who said “ok boomer” when she was interrupted in Parliament in 2019. While she felt the funding boost was worth celebrating, Swarbrick said, “I don’t think that we are ever going to deal with the pipeline of the mental health crisis unless we deal with the contributing factors to people experiencing mental distress.” She said the causes of mental illness are “a lack of security, a lack of connection to community as a result a lack of
belonging and a lack of a sense of identity”. “All of that stuff is bound up in the phobias and the isms, but it’s still very much related to somebody’s material security and therefore the knowledge that they can make decisions about their life and not their decisions being made for them, or that they are being totally at the whim of their circumstances.” “I think it’s really important that we are straight up about the fact that until students are surviving on liveable incomes and warm, dry, secure homes, that we can’t pretend that were not going to see the emergence of mental illness.” “I promise you this is not the end of that fight. We’ve still got more to do.” During the 107-day Auckland lockdown last year, an alarm was raised with Swarbrick about student’s living in Auckland student accommodation struggling with mental health. She was told “there was an immensely disproportionate stress on Auckland students. We then saw the full-on effect when Waikato went back into lockdown. It very much was correlated.” 4 / Karere
According to the telehealth services who provide virtual support such as 1737 and Healthline, Swarbrick said there wasn’t an overwhelmingly huge number of people calling for support, but there were longer periods of time that returning people wanted to talk. “Some people need a one-off check in, other people it’s a few times, they are getting the tools to work through things, and other people will need ongoing support.” “The point is, all of those types of people, all of us deserve to have access to the services that we need when we need them.” She said the universities have been working with their students’ associations to get a feel for what is actually needed. “Having more boots on the ground that are available to help people is one thing, but being able to know from students’ whether this has actually reduced their wait time, whether its culturally appropriate, whether it is helping them.” Year on year more funding will spread across the country and scale up. “This support for students’ mental health and addiction treatments, should not come at the exclusion” of the broader population, she said.
14 MARCH 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
Ripping Students Off, or Just Following Protocol? Should Massey Reduce Tuition Fees? Mason Tangatatai (He/Him)
A group of Massey University students are lobbying for tuition fees to be reduced, as many of their courses have been disrupted by Covid-19, or moved entirely online. Their petition, Massey Fees Reduction for Internal Students, has received over two hundred signatures from students across the Wellington, Manawatū, and Albany campuses. Sophie Hamilton, a second-year student and creator of the petition, hopes that as support for her movement grows, Massey University’s hand is forced to provide a form of compensation for students whose studies are directly affected. “We understand that Covid-19 has affected everyone, including the Uni, but it’s unfair to tell us to continue paying the same rates and act as if nothing has changed,” says Hamilton. “Massey University markets themselves on having practical courses and onsite teachings. If you ask any student, in any degree, what we’re being promised and what we’re getting isn’t the same. I know so many students whose three hour workshops are now an hour. It’s ridiculous to
think Massey believes this is close to what we were previously receiving,” Hamilton continues. “It’s like buying a car and finding out one of the wheels is flat.” The quality of online learning has also posed concerns for students. Some believe that a number of Massey University’s lecturers haven’t found an “effective” way of teaching their courses online, this has led to “15 minutes being wasted trying to set up lecture material over Zoom,” says Ella Joss, a second-year Nursing student. She believes the move to teach a hands-on course, like Nursing, through Zoom puts students at a disadvantage when they enter their practical placements. “Basically, our entire course will be online this semester. This means we’re missing out on valuable in-person labs that physically show us how to use essential equipment,” says Joss. “It feels like students are bearing the brunt. We get a less effective education, and still have to pay a pretty penny,” Joss continues. But for students, it’s not just monetary pressures that have them frustrated. Many are worried about missing out on a proper university experience. “I feel sorry for the first years, aye. Usually we’re able to socialise and network, but online doesn’t allow for it,” says Hamilton.
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“It’s currently just absorbing content and nothing else. It’s hard to blame anyone, because the Uni is only trying to keep us safe, but acting as this is a similar educational experience is only a band-aid on the problem.” When approached for comment, a Massey University spokesperson confirmed no plans were in place to compensate students affected by blended learning. “There is no difference in course fees between internal or distance – distance students pay the same as internal students. Delivering quality online learning is not cheaper than oncampus learning.” The spokesperson also reiterated that Massey is confident in the quality and effectiveness of distance learning. “Like all universities, Massey has experienced some disruption to the delivery of our courses as a result of the recent Omicron outbreak. The University is committed to remaining open, and to ensure high-quality delivery of on-campus teaching where it is safe to do so. In situations where courses have moved online, teaching and learning activities are continuing uninterrupted, despite being in a different mode.” Although this is a definitive answer from the University, Massey Fee’s Reduction for Internal Students is still live and gaining traction across Aotearoa.
14 MARCH 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
A Break Down of the Russo-Ukrainian War, and How We Can Help. Elise Cacace (She/Her)
Fear, anger and sorrow have once again entered the community, this time in the form of a war happening between Russia and Ukraine. By now, this information will come as no surprise; news and social media have been drenched with videos of the violence breaking out across Eastern Europe for weeks, undeniably tearing everyone’s hearts into pieces and leaving us all feeling lost with how to help. 24 February saw the launch of the military attack on Ukraine, an action that has been brewing since 2014. The conflict began when pro-Russia Ukrainian President Viktor Yanukovych rejected a Ukrainian-European Association Agreement in 2014, causing his people to revolt and ultimately remove him from office. Since then, President Putin has accused Ukraine of being usurped by extremists. Russia quickly retaliated to Ukraine’s revolution by seizing the southern region of Crimea, which triggered another rebellion across Ukraine and other European countries. Russia was consequently suspended from the Group of 8 (G8) and the first round of sanctions were imposed on the country. The relationship between Russia and Ukraine has been strained ever since. In late 2021 while denying any impending attack, Russia began deploying a large number of troops, military equipment, medical units and even blood close to the Ukrainian border. President Putin then put forward a list of highly controversial demands that he wants the West to meet in order for tensions in Europe to
lessen, and for the crisis in Ukraine to be diffused.
have fled Ukraine as Russian forces make advances in the south east.
With the escalating rhetoric around nuclear weapons, many countries, including the United States, tried to resolve the conflict peacefully. Washington responded to Putin’s demands by reiterating NATO’s “open door policy” while offering a “pragmatic evaluation” of Moscow’s concerns. Russia, obviously, was not very happy about this.
Thursday 3 March saw a second attempt at peace negotiations between Russia and Ukraine, which ended with a no cease-fire.
The most significant of Putin’s demands is that NATO (the North Atlantic Treaty Organization) not only stops its expansion to the east but retreats backwards. President Putin believes that allegiances formed between Soviet republics, former communist countries, Europe and the United States will pose an existential threat to Russia. He accused NATO of threatening “our historic future as a nation” and announced, “Russia cannot feel safe, develop, and exist with a constant threat emanating from the territory of modern Ukraine”. Just before 6am, Thursday 24 February, Putin announced the launch of a “special military operation” against Ukraine. It has turned out to be the biggest attack by one state against another in Europe since World War 2. The President said he intended to “dematerialize” but not occupy the country. Within minutes of his speech, large explosions were reported near Kharikiv, Ukraine’s second largest city, and in the capital, Kyiv, as well as other parts of the country. “I woke up because of the sounds of bombing,” said 29-year-old Maria Kashkoska as she sat on the floor of the train station. “I packed a bag and tried to escape. We are sitting here, waiting,” she said. Her bag consisted of only a charger and a few essentials. Since then, over 1.2 million refugees
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“The second round of negotiations is over. Unfortunately, the results Ukraine needs are not yet achieved,” said Ukraine’s presidential adviser, Mykhailo Podolyak via Twitter, following the meeting. On Friday 4 March, Russian forces seized Zaporizhzhia Nuclear Power Station, the largest in Europe, which now remains under their control. The attack led to a fire in the plant and threatened a catastrophe larger than the 1986 Chernobyl nuclear disaster. Ukrainian firefighters extinguished the flames and no radiation was released, however this offers little reassurance as the bombing of Ukraine continues. Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskyy said an explosion at the power plant “would be the end for everyone. The end for Europe. The evacuation of Europe.” Although Russian troops have taken control of the overall site, the plant staff continue to manage it. Following the attack, only one reactor continues to operate and at only 60 per cent of capacity. Further east, Russian forces are surrounding Mariupol, a city on the Sea of Azov’s coast, leaving about a half million people without heat, water or electricity. “We are a city under siege,” said Mariupol’s Mayor Vadym Boichenko to the Financial Times. “They are trying to exterminate us.” Saturday 5 March saw a Russiandeclared cease-fire to allow Mariupol and Volnovakha civilians to evacuate the cities, however this cease-fire came to an abrupt halt by what Ukrainian officials described as “renewed shelling”.
14 MARCH 2022
MASSIVE NEWS Ukraine has reached out to European nations for help, and many countries including Poland, Czech Republic and the Baltic States have responded with military aid and weaponry. Other countries across Europe have responded by way of non-lethal aid. Watching all of this violence and devastation unfold from the safety of our small island paradise undoubtedly leaves New Zealanders feeling powerless and unsure of how to help.
Massey Goes Virtual – Good or Bad? Elise Cacace (She/Her)
A common feeling among students at the moment is that Covid-19 has ruined everything. O-Week was tarnished with restrictions, Victoria University Law students have been forced off their campus by protestors, and going to town on a Saturday night just isn’t the circus show it used to be. However, what is sparking the most uproar among students is the continuation of online learning. Many students see online learning as a ‘get out of jail free card’. You don’t have to socialise. You don’t have to commute. You don’t even have to put on pants. What’s not to love, right? “I don’t mind online learning at all. If anything, it suits me better as it gives me the option to work when I feel like I will absorb the most information. It also makes my daily schedule easier to alter to suit other things that need to be done,” says student Emily Collins. “To be honest, having all my lectures online is the only thing that has kept me in university. If it wasn’t for the fact that I can go back and re-listen to all my class recordings, and slow down the speed of the lecturer so I can take proper notes, I definitely would have failed,” says Melissa Bailey, another Massey student.
The most obvious action we can take is supporting charities such as Red Cross, United Help Ukraine, Voices of Children and UNICEF in Ukraine, which are working hard to repair infrastructure, provide food and essential items to children and families, and reinforce health facilities with medicine and equipment. For the majority of students that can barely afford rent let alone charitable donations, the best thing we can do is to keep advocating for peace and
“This is the twenty-first century. Online classes were bound to be integrated into society at some point, [Covid-19] or not. I think it’s a great advancement for education systems, and that better technology will be produced because of it,” says first-year Max Flaxmere. “Zoom classes give me way less anxiety than in-person classes. I feel more confident speaking out and interacting with others when I’m not confronted with them face-to-face,” says post-grad Lucca Mae Lee. On the other side of the coin is an army of students arguing against the implementation of online classes. “My boomer professors literally can’t use Stream. It feels like such a joke that I’m paying all this money and expected to learn when half the class is spent trying to find the unmute button, or share a screen. It’s ridiculous,” says student Holly Stanley. “I can’t stand online learning and if it’s going to carry on being the case then surely our fees should be altered. I know they have to follow guidelines to keep everyone safe, but let’s be real here… everyone is going to be exposed to [Covid-19] at some stage. Isn’t that why the University mandated vaccines?” asks an anonymous Massey student. “If you’re studying sciences (like me), or anything that features practical experience such as lab work, field
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freedom. Although sharing posts on social media feels like a weak, token gesture against the thousands of people working on the frontlines, spreading information and awareness is of immense significance – just make sure to fact check everything you share! Keeping ourselves and our peers updated on current events not only promotes the development of stronger personal opinions but ultimately encourages global reformation and a better, more educated future.
experience, animal handling etc, then online learning doesn’t really cut it. Employers will ask you if you have practical experience in your field, even when you’re an undergrad. If I hadn’t had some lab work in my first and second year (before Massey basically decided to drop practicals), I would have very little to offer an employer. This is not bashing on [Covid-19] restrictions because they are definitely there for a reason. However, I think some of Massey’s decisions have not been made with the good of their students in mind, but rather the good of their bank accounts,” says Charlie Charleston, a graduate student. “I’m not paying $7,000 a year to do an online course. There are countless better options for me if that is the case. I feel like an important part of studying at CoCA Massey is learning the in-person skills required to be a professional in the design field. You just don’t learn that over Zoom,” says Jack Warren, Massey photography student. So, whether you’re on the defence or opposition, it doesn’t really matter because it seems that many countries across the globe are sticking with the gig for the time being. Perhaps one day the majority of classrooms and offices will be virtual, or maybe it will be faded out and the world will resume as normal. Either way, one thing’s for sure: Zoom classes are like marmite, you either love it or you hate it ;)
14 MARCH 2022
MASSIVE NEWS
Covid’s New Breeding Ground How Students Living in the Cube are Coping Tegan Jaggard
Moving to university is hard enough as it is. Packing up, moving out of home, the pressure of making friends as well as starting school. On top of all that, we’re in the middle of our nation’s biggest Covid-19 outbreak to date. All of this is made worse by actually catching Covid-19 or becoming a close contact and having to isolate. You would think being in a managed facility – like a hall of residence – would be the best place to isolate, right? Well, that may not be the case. I interviewed one of the many apartments in Wellington’s ‘Cube’ that are in isolation about the support they’ve received during their 10-day lockdown. I interviewed Francesca, Tamilini, Rose, and Gemma, all second year Massey Students living in the Cube. The flat went into isolation after Gemma started experiencing symptoms and
then received a positive test result. When asked how they reacted when they found out they had to isolate, the flats main response was “full of shock”. Gemma, the first to contract Covid-19 mostly felt bad for her flatmates, saying that she was “in disbelief that she caught the virus after having avoided it for the past two years”. So how does going into isolation at the Cube actually work? The flat I talked to called the RA phone, and were told there was a QR code on the door of the flat that they could scan to get more information. But as Rose described, “It didn’t feel like enough information for the gravity of the situation, it felt like we were the guinea pigs they were testing things out on.” Information isn’t the only part of isolation students are concerned about. Day-to-day activities like getting groceries and doing laundry have been a challenge. When Gemma’s flat entered isolation, the only elevator for the entire building was broken. “Our friends had to walk up nine flights of stairs to bring us our groceries,” Rose explained. “I guess the RAs are trying to reduce their contact,” Tamilini said. “If you don’t have friends in the Cube
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then you can’t really do anything, but the RAs did make us biscuits. I guess that was nice.” When their friends couldn’t bring groceries up, they had to ask in their house group chat and hope that someone could. They also weren’t told how they were going to be able to do their laundry. “It didn’t really encourage good hygiene; you don’t want to be sitting in clothes and bed sheets you’ve coughed all over,” Gemma said. For the flat, it seemed as that none of these scenarios were planned for. “We had to yell at people coming up the stairs to stay back because we might have Covid-19. With no real procedures in place within the halls, I can see why they’re becoming super spreaders.” To finish off, here’s a little piece of advice from the flat to anyone who may go into isolation in the future. 1. Stock up on fruit and veg. 2. Make sure you have friends who can help out, even if they’re just people on your floor to bring up your groceries and mail.
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Briar Allen
Arrest at the Protest “If your pictures aren’t good enough, you aren’t close enough” – Robert Capa. Last Wednesday I took this challenge personally and it resulted with me in handcuffs. The morning started with my walk to university. I passed people with masks on, QR codes in shop windows and advertisements asking people to get boosted. You know, all the normal things. Class consisted of writing notes and day dreaming of how much longer until lunch. We also reviewed a documentary on Robert Capa. He was famous for his photographs of war, putting himself on the front lines with nothing but a camera to defend himself. We were then watching the protest. My eyes couldn’t pull away from the sad scene unfolding on the screen as the protest started to come to an end. The silence was heavy as we watched police move in. Horror sat in my throat as items were thrown at police and the fires began. I wanted to be there. I wanted to practice my photography skills as a journalism student. I wanted to capture this key moment in New Zealand history. So, off I went, nervous but fascinated. I arrived around six at night just after the Prime Minister’s press conference. I had come from Lambton Quay and
met a line of police officers with shields. There were other members of the public standing around, wanting to get a look for themselves. It was quiet, nobody was shouting here, everyone was being respectful and taking photos from afar. I moved down onto Bunny street to see the other side. I was hit with a rancid smell, worse than sulphur as I walked towards the remnants of the protesters. The crowd waved a New Zealand flag and were holding various signs, one that read “media are the virus”. I didn’t mention to anyone that I talked to that I was a journalism student. Imagine what could have happened if the crowd knew. A few protesters took turns yelling at the line of riot police. “You are cowards for your children.” “Take a knee or something to show your support.” There were cheers and applause in support of them. One man stood in front of them and ripped off his shirt displaying a deep red, circular wound in the middle of his chest. The mark of a foam bullet. He started to cuss out the police. The line that stuck with me was “I will find your daughters, you bitches”. This no longer had anything to do with the purpose of the protest, this was nothing but aggression towards the police, who were doing their jobs. 10 / Aronui
Then the riot police started to move back as a unit.
which included my occupation, which revealed that I was a journalism student.
The protesters moved forward, seizing the opportunity. While some stayed behind buildings and signs, others went forward, wanting the challenge, yelling at the police as they gained more ground. Those who were being a bit too vocal or a bit too aggressive had foam bullets fired at them. One man got shot in the leg, screaming at them “c**ts, I haven’t got a gun. Why are you shooting?”
“Got too close aye?” said one of the officers. Yeah, I did. Everything in my pockets were removed, including my mask and my earrings were removed by an officer.
You would think I would be scared, or at the very least feel unsafe in such an environment but I had seen the live news reports, I knew it wasn’t going to be a joyous situation. Still, I was determined to capture what I saw on camera, to apply what I had learnt in theory to a real-life event.
My handcuffs were taken off and my hands were zip-tied in front of me.
I moved forward.
Getting arrested was the easy part, it was the waiting part that was hard.
“Are they pinching at all?” “No.”
Glass crunched under my boots as I passed the smashed front door of Victoria University business school. Police watched at the ready from the second door. Apples, trash and milk cartons were scattered everywhere. I moved to the front corner of the Victoria University Law school, the line of riot police behind me as I captured photos of protesters throwing things at the police. One man by the Business school started yelling, playing music loudly and throwing things at the police.
Not many can say they have had the pleasure of being locked in a metal box with only enough room to sit down. But I can. The air conditioning was going strong, enough so that at some points I was shivering. I don’t know how long I was sitting there for, looking out the small window as the sun went down.
He was then taken to the ground.
There was no concept of time.
I watched as he was swarmed by police officers, still yelling and struggling against them as he was handcuffed.
Other people were put in the paddy wagon, some were shaking the van, a man was yelling to be let out.
I started moving to go back to the road but I was too slow. It happened so fast. I heard a police officer yell, “Get her in, she’s in, get her in.” A police officer grabbed me by my backpack. Another police officer said “oh no. You’re in.” What did that mean? In where? It meant I was in the wrong place.
I just wanted them to knock it off. You are in a metal box; your hands are tied. You are not getting out. When I finally arrived at the police station, there were seven police officers waiting as I was led out of the van. Not intimidating at all.
The only thing I could say was “bugger”.
My shoes were removed, belongings put into a plastic bag. I was put into a holding cell.
I put my hands in the air, letting the camera hang around my neck. I was walked behind the line of riot police, and had cold metal placed around my wrists.
I was processed, shifted to another holding cell. It was concrete and cold. There was nothing to do but wait. Trying to sleep was difficult.
Another said that I had to have my rights read to me and that I was being charged with obstruction.
I finally had my fingerprints taken and was released.
I had officially been arrested. As they walked me towards the paddy wagon, I couldn’t get over how surreal it was. Being surrounded by cops with my hands behind my back. I never thought it could be me. I went from having no speeding tickets or anything on my record to the possiblity of having a criminal conviction and doing jail time. Despite being arrested, I was chatting to the cops as if they were an old friend I ran into. I answered their questions
I was served two trespass notices. I was arrested at twenty minutes to eight that night. I was released at twenty to midnight. I went to class the next morning. I am to appear in the Wellington District Court on March 28th to plead my case. I don’t regret this experience.
11 / Aronui
Unequal Food Distribution is Putting the Blame on Pacific Islanders. Mia Faiumu (She/Her) - Illustrated by Marie Bailey As we focus in on food for this issue of Massive, I think it’s important to recognise the unequal distribution of quality nutritional food within our country. I’m sure many of us have been privy to conversations where blame tends to be placed onto Pacific communities for high rates of diabetes, obesity or other health related issues. I’m sure many of us have heard palagi New Zealanders laugh and remark that “iT’s their cHOicE” to put unhealthy products in their bodies. I’m sure many of us have tried to explain the different layers that actually remove one’s ‘choice’ from this equation. I’m sure many of us have felt exhausted and frustrated as the health inequities of Pacific communities are framed as the individual failings of Pacific Islanders themselves. The truth is that most unhealthy foods are cheaper and more convenient than healthier food options. For many who are working within low-paying jobs, or do not have access to high quality education, this creates an issue of accessibility, in which Pacific families do not have the same capabilities and opportunities to source and produce healthy meals.
Ridvan acknowledges, for Pacific communities, “we’re talking about families living under one household or under one roof”.
Many Pacific families are living in households that are made of up of more family members than you see in western nuclear family units. This is shown through statistics which state that 50 per cent of Pacific households in Aotearoa have five or more people living within the same home, with 25 per cent of Pacific households having seven or more occupants (Rush, 2009). This means that Pacific families have many more mouths to feed while also tending to work multiple jobs, often in shift work. The ability then, to coordinate time to purchase and produce meals while also providing income for the family is strained.
Studies has shown that compared to other ethnic groups, Pacific people are more likely to live in neighbourhoods of ‘high deprivation’, have the lowest median household incomes, higher unemployment rates, the lowest rates of home ownership, and the highest rates of household crowding (Ryan, Grey & Mischewski, 2019). This narrative of blame that is currently operating in Aotearoa needs to be changed to one that is more reflective of reality. I sat down with Elaine Rush, Professor of Nutrition at Auckland University of Technology, to further understand how these issues interplay for Pacific communities. When asked what the biggest drivers leading to food insecurity were for Pacific communities, Elaine noted that, “part of it is poverty. Part of it is location – where you live, what’s available, where the supermarkets are… how much time for shopping, and ability to store food. Part of it is having such large families to look after. We know the more in the family, the more likely to be food insecure.” After also sitting down with Dr. Ridvan Tupai-Firestone, Associate Professor at Massey University Research Centre for Hauora and Health, these points were repeated.
It takes time, and enough money left over after rent, transport and other commitments are paid, to be able to prepare healthy, nutritious meals for large groups of people. With low-paying shift work constricting the time and budget available to cook and shop, it is not surprising that meals tend to be the cheapest and most convenient options found at the supermarket or local dairy. “That accessibility has another layer under it,” says Ridvan, “and that is financial means to be able to access food and cook good quality food.” “With all the other insecurities, how can you possibly say ‘oh people have a choice – it’s their choice to have sugary drinks’,” continues Elaine.
“The sugary drinks are far much cheaper than milk and they’re in vending machines. Where’s the milk or vegetable and fruit vending machines? It’s just wrong.” This is the same case with the placement of fast-food chains within lower socioeconomic neighbourhoods. In more deprived neighbourhoods, supermarkets are further away (1.2-1.3km) while fast-food outlets are within 0.7km-0.8km (Rush, 2009). This adds another
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layer to food insecurity, in which the types of stores that are physically available to communities and the types of transport they have access to, directly impact their accessibility to nutritional food. We have seen this issue emphasised throughout Covid-19 as the need to isolate makes these problems worse. A definition from ‘Food Security for Pacific Peoples in New Zealand’ states that “food security is determined by what foods are available and the resources and the knowledge (the desire and motivation) to access and use that food” (Rush, 2009). “When I talk about accessibility… it’s in the broader sense, knowing the types of food groups that are out there, having that knowledge, financially being able to afford quality food,” explains Ridvan.
“This also includes accessing or being able to provide for a large group of families rather than just thinking about the typical family of four.” “It does come back down to knowledge and financial capability – that’s one major factor that is driving food insecurity,” says Ridvan. The knowledge needed to maintain a healthy lifestyle refers to accessibility and education that informs individuals, families and communities about the types of nutritional food needed to be healthy, and teaches the skills needed to produce quality food, inclusive of budgeting. Without this knowledge or budget, families are illequipped to work with a diversity of food types and struggle to produce meals with good nutritional value. There needs to be prioritisation of support for those experiencing food insecurity and education to enable the self-determination and empowerment of Pacific communities to be able to make nutritional choices for their aiga. While there are currently a multitude of communitydriven or local initiatives that aim to improve food security for marginalised communities, there is more that could be done.
“It’s not enough and winter’s coming soon, so it’s going to be harder,” says Elaine Rush. When asked what could be changed, Elaine explains, “At an individual level, there are many things that will contribute... but first of all, lifting families out of poverty, having secure housing, secure jobs, secure income would make a huge difference.” There are also positive initiatives and organisations currently working to tackle these issues. Elaine mentions Pacific Heartbeat, which is part of the Heart Foundation. It has worked with the Pacific community for 20 years to share knowledge around eating better, budgeting and cooking – by Pacific for Pacific. She comments that people who have completed these courses have gone back into their community and shared the knowledge learnt through their experiences with Pacific Heartbeat. Ridvan also indicates that community initiatives that are co-designed within the community can play a significant role in improving food security for Pacific communities. Ridvan refers to the free school lunch programme run by the Government as a positive initiative that shows potential for success, especially for schools in high deprivation areas. Although, she comments that there has been dissatisfaction among students with some of the food types that they are not familiar with, or food that is not palatable. This is an area in which co-design could be implemented more heavily, whereby community involvement in the planning of the initiative could make lunch packs more relevant and healthier. Ridvan notes that having genuine community involvement could lead to an important social-economic enterprise for Pacific communities. There could be different ways to approach providing free lunch to students other than contracting outside services to provide ready-made meals wrapped in plastic. Focusing on not only the physical health of students but also prioritising the environment and building student’s skill sets, could open up many opportunities for students to grow and use their own produce. “They have home economics for example,” explains Ridvan, “where they’re using their own produce to make food for the school community.”
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“That’s not only providing the food to all children, it’s also giving these kids good knowledge and life skill sets that can be used for life. If that starts early, like in primary school, that would probably be a better approach than finding a supplier that the school would charge out services to produce lots of ready-made meals that look flash,” says Ridvan. Pātaka Kai Hall at Kokiri Marae in Wainuiomata is a great grass-roots initiative that Ridvan mentions. It functions in a similar way to a food bank, where different community groups contribute food and also grow some of their own vegetables on their council-owned land. The importance of knowledge was extenuated in the experience of recipients of Pātaka Kai Hall. It was found that many families were wasting their food because they didn’t know how to cook with the ingredients provided. In response to this, Pātaka Kai Hall adapted and now provides recipes to use alongside the vegetables provided to the community. This example shows that while providing actual food resources is essential, this needs to be paired with access to resources that inform our communities on how to utilise different types of food. It is therefore imperative that any community initiative is relevant to the people that the service is being delivered to. Without cultural relevance or significance, community initiatives could be a wasted resource – as has been seen across a range of past and current government projects. This is acknowledged by Ridvan, who explains, “Having community gardens ... Yes, they’re great social initiatives, but they have to be relevant to the community. They need to be able to use the food that they’re growing.” In this sense, we are brought back to the importance of co-designing initiatives with communities themselves to ensure that they are appropriate and relevant. Without having direct conversations with those with lived experience, how can these initiatives see any form of success?
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“Giving [communities] the knowledge to be able to make some of those changes and make an informed decision about some of these projects we’re working on - that’s really important,” explains Ridvan.
“These initiatives, they have to be able to work, and they’ve got to be relevant for these communities… if it’s not relevant, if it’s not a good fit with the Pasifika values and the way that they view things, then it’s not going to be a sustainable initiative.”
For the Government, I hope we see this type of approach be used more broadly across community initiatives. Ensuring that these programmes are co-designed and align with the cultural values of the community will be essential for any initiative aiming to tackle food insecurity. For those of us who are living in positions of food security, as you move through your daily lives I hope you look at your access to food a little bit differently. I hope that you can see your ability to budget, access ingredients, plan and produce diverse meals, as something that is not as easily accessible for many families across Aotearoa. When the breadth of this issue is placed on the table, it is hard to prove that obesity rates within Pacific communities are the result of a multitude of individuals making bad personal choices. We need to widen our understanding of accessibility to understand the different ‘choices’ that groups across Aotearoa have access to.
These are not personal choices that are being sacrificed at the expense of healthier options, but rather structural barriers that restrict Pacific communities from accessing healthy food at the same ease as other New Zealanders.
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Aiden Wilson (He/HIm) Illustrated by Sara Moana
Depression Meals: Food for when the big sad is too big We all have them. Our secret, shame-filled snacks. The culinary Frankenstein-esque creations we bring to life with whatever’s there. The ones that crawl out of the dark and onto our plates when we just don’t give a rat’s ass about what we eat, as long as we eat. For those who haven’t caught on, a “depression meal” is a low effort, usually, but not always low nutrition snack that you eat just so you can tick off eating for the day, or as a form of self-care. A depression meal can range anywhere from tinned tuna on a slice of white bread lathered in BBQ sauce, to a single durry and a can of flat, half-drunk Pepsi that you found in the fridge.
We all have a special something we turn to when times are tough. When the grind is getting too much, or it’s not easy to leave the house, we all have a special meal we can rely on to get us through our bad patches. I have compiled, tested, and reviewed a few depression recipes that I acquired from fellow students, putting them to the test, trying them so you don’t have to. But, if you’re feeling adventurous, it shouldn’t be hard for you to assemble these yourself. Hopefully you leave today with some new recipes to try, or inspiration for your own depression snacks. Whether it’s an original creation or following the guide below, try to remember:
Basically, there’s no set requirement for what a depression meal truly is, but I think we all understand the gist of it.
“The point of a depression meal is that it’s YOUR thing,” - my neato partner
“Anyone can cook ... but only the fearless can submit their depression meal to Massive for shitposting purposes.”
- Chef Gusteau, Ratatouille
And just to show that I’m fair, I’ll kick things off by sharing one of my own… 17 / Aronui
Pretzereal This one’s for those times when you are feeling like utter shit. It’s the kind of thing you can gorge on after a bad breakup, while cramming and crying for exams, or just while you’re in bed. A personal recipe of mine, gifted from me, to you.
Ingredients
This meal is intended to be eaten as a savoury form of cereal.
them out of a bowl with a spoon makes sense when you’re not wanting messy fingers. Overall, it fills a hole, tastes moderately okay and is probably not the strangest thing you’ll find in this list. Its reliance on ingredients people may not have just lying there also loses it some points. And if you do have them, I doubt even the most downbad individual would waste them on Pretzereal.
Take your pretzels, pour them into a bowl, lather them with American mustard. Wallow in your self-pity as you shovel that tangy mess into your mouth, occasionally cutting the roof of your mouth with a pretzel, and then burning that cut with a wad of mustard not long after. If you’re incredibly blessed, you might encounter a pretzel that’s gotten mustard within all its pretzel holes! From a pure snacking standpoint, pretzels and mustard are not that strange a combination, and to eat
- Pretzels (preferably stale) - American mustard - Bowl - Spoon
Depression cure: 7/10 Mouth feel: 6/10 Presentation: 1/10 Overall rating: 4.5/10 Painfully average is the only way to describe it. Next!
A Whole Can of Chickpeas It’s literally what it says on the tin. The person who submitted this recipe was so deeply ashamed and afraid, that they asked to go by the pseudonym “Timothée”. Prep is as easy as opening the tin, pouring in “a squiz” of vinaigrette, a splash of olive oil and whatever other seasonings you desire. Mix well, eat straight from can. Note: vinaigrette may not be on hand, and can be substituted with a salad dressing, or any condiment of your choice. As I write this I’m trying not to cry. Forcing myself to swallow down a mouthful of this… thing…. It was torturous. The taste was… something? I get the feeling I didn’t drain my chickpeas properly or use enough dressing. The only way to describe it, is that it was like eating expired hummus. 18 / Aronui
Ingredients
- A whole can of chickpeas - Spoon - Olive oil - Vinaigrette or your choice of salad dressing OPTIONAL: seasoning, spices, etc Mouth feel for this dish was incredibly pleasant! It’s literally just chickpeas in a bit of oil. Slightly crunchy, satisfying to munch on. If only the taste wasn’t such a strange fucking mess. In terms of presentation, it looks like Bachelor Chow from Futurama, probably tastes just as bad. Depression cure: 2/10 Mouth feel: 8/10 Presentation: 2/10 Overall score: 4/10 I’d rather eat the Albany chicken wing than have this again.
Pickle in a Blanket
Whole baby pickles wrapped in a slice of plastic, processed cheese. Simple, elegant, the fine dining of depression meals. This meal was lovingly contributed by Massive’s very own Culture Editor, Elena! Thanks for the stomach-ache!
Ingredients
- Baby pickles - Processed, plastic cheese slices To prepare, simply lie your pickles out along the slice of cheese, then wrap up in a roll. It should resemble an asparagus roll, or yourself curled up in a blanket after your ex posted on social media and you realise, they’re doing much better than you are. Everything about this meal just felt wrong… but that’s also why it kind of worked?? Starting off from an aesthetics
standpoint, this is what I imagine a ‘fine dining’ restaurant run by students would serve. Small, fancy portions. The texture felt alien, rubbery but crunchy. Like eating the tyre of a Nissan Skyline that’s just done a burnout on loose asphalt. Taste wise, it’s literally just cheese and pickle, a tried-and-true combination. It’s just like eating really shitty Maccas! Overall, the taste was non offensive, and the presentation was to die for. Depression cure: 6/10 Mouth feel: 3/10 Presentation: 10/10 Weird Stomach-ache: -5/10 Overall Rating: 5/10 This meal loses points for the weird stomach-ache it gave me soon after consumption, so once again, thanks for that Elena. Saddest hot dog I’ve ever eaten but seeing the appeal.
“I’m not proud, but I’m also not a pussy. I’ll take the name and shame.” – Lily, Feature Writer for Massive Magazine, who woefully provided this masterpiece.
Plastic Cheese in a Bowl
What the Plastic Cheese in a Bowl lacks in presentation, it more than makes up for with its taste and texture. A true depression meal delight.
Recipe
If it’s not obvious, this one was my favourite. I went in expecting something disgusting, something terrifying. I cannot lie, this was one of the best depression snacks I have ever consumed. The simple preparation
- Cheese, preferably the cheapest plastic cheese you can find - Microwave - Bowl - Spoon By far the simplest depression meal I’ve ever encountered. Place the cheese slice in a bowl, nuke for thirty seconds in a microwave, then enjoy with a spoon. Don’t forget to wonder what you’ve done to deserve this gourmet adventure you’ve decided to embark on. I’m not a huge fan of plastic cheese. However, what I ate here tonight was nothing short of amazing. The melted cheese slice was creamy and smooth, with a warmth that just ignited something in me. For a few savoury seconds, everything was right with the world. And once I had finished my cheese slice, I craved more.
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required, along with the quick time between set up and serving, and the overall lack of dishes was amazing. If you’re ever not feeling it, try this, I implore you. You’re not gonna try anything better than this. Depression cure: 10/10 Mouth feel: 10/10 Presentation: 5/10 Overall Rating: 8/10
What the Fridge? Mason Tangatatai (He/Him)
How the humble fridge can teach you so much
Marie
Many say the way to a person’s heart is through their stomach. This famous saying is undeniably true, good kai is the foundation of all, and any successful relationship. But, what they haven’t told you is that what a person eats - or for the purpose of this article, what they keep in their fridge - can tell you a lot more about an individual than you could ever imagine….
Sara
Marie is Massive Magazine’s Designer. She puts the hard shift in to create 99% of what you see in each issue of Massive. Her fridge is tame, nothing too out of the ordinary, but what really stands out, and makes me worry for the longevity of this mag, is what’s on top.
Sara is one of the two talented illustrators for Massive Magazine this year. Her mahi is amazing, it really takes the magazine to the next level. Similar to illustrations, sauce also takes things to the next level, and Sara’s fridge has about 18 of them.
I’m no person to shame a few bevvies. Friday rocks around, you’re thirsty and all you can find is a bottle of Bailey’s… and a bottle of Kahlua… and a bottle of gin…. and a bottle of red wine…
On a real note, this fridge kinda scares me. It gives me a flat of six students who all buy individual t-sauce, butter and garlic vibes. You just know there’s a mouldy creation creeping around the back of that fridge. Would I eat from this? Hell no.
If this is what happens after three weeks of producing Massive, I’m excited to see the bottle collection after twenty four!
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In all honesty, I dropped the ball in issue one by not introducing our lovely team. So instead of sharing a picture of their beautiful faces, and a corny paragraph about their fake hobbies, I thought I’d let you judge them based on the state of their fridges! Who ever said Massive doesn’t contain hard hitting journalism???
Lily
Lily is one of Massive Magazine’s feature writers for 2022. Her well researched writing has blessed my eyes each week, we’re super lucky to have her. I desperately wanted to use this story as an opportunity to roast the fuck out of my staff. Lily has slapped that silly dream right out of my head with this immaculate fridge. Pop off Lily.
To all the Massive staff who did not contribute to this important kaupapa, all I have to say is shame on you. You passed up an opportunity to be fridge shamed after only knowing me for like three weeks. And to the readers, our dear faithful readers, I hope this has given you an idea of who is behind the magazine you cherish each week.
Elise
Elise is Massive’s News Editor for 2022. Elise has a nose for news, but I’m questioning her general sense of smell because there is no shot this fridge smells any better than it looks. I think one of my few phobias in life is jars filled with unrecognisable substances and brine. This fridge is full to the brim with unlabeled concoctions that scare the fuck out of me.
*I understand people are flatting, and not everything is theirs, but let’s just act like it is x
Sammy
Sammy is Massive Magazine’s News Reporter. She, like Lily, is one of the younger members of the team, and once again, another immaculate fridge. These two have put us old bastards to shame. I don’t know if it’s that enthusiastic youth students have nowadays, or if the rest of us are just slobs. But either way, I’ve got some long hard reflecting to do :(
Are these just the finer foods in life that I can’t afford yet? Probably…
23 / Aronui
Mason
What can I say, a fridge that sums up what its like to live with three dudes. We’ve got an egregious amount of dairy products, a few sauces, mouldy bread, and not a vegetable in site. I might have cleaned up the fridge a bit before I took this photo, this was only because I didn’t want to lose any crumb of credibility I had left.
A Definitive Ranking of the Instant Meals I ate in my Childhood When it comes to preparing for dinner time in a house with three hungry kids, my mum had a few different tricks up her sleeve. My least favourite of all time was the slow cooker, I’d come home from school and see it on the bench and be filled with an indescribable rage. It was always full of minestrone soup or stew, the stuff of nightmares. Then of course there was the classic hot roast chicken, bread rolls and coleslaw deal. This was generally a good night for me and my brother, but my sister was a vegetarian from a young age. Sucks to be her, I guess. The holy grail of lazy dinners for me was when we’d be left to fend for ourselves as we got a bit older. Instant meals were the light of my young life, making a mess of the microwave, feeling like I was on MasterChef when I seasoned the packets of pasta or added cheese all by myself.
So, here is a ranking of some iconic instant meals from my childhood, full of nostalgia and preservatives.
6.
5.
4.
Coming in at number six is Cup a Soup. These bad boys would mostly be used as an after-school snack. They taste good but they just leave you wanting more. To make it a substantial meal you’ve got to pair it with some cheese on toast, actually lots of cheese on toast.
Next up is Cinderella Instant Mash Potato. This fluffy little bag of goodness used to make my evenings when it was pulled out. Mum would always talk about how naughty it was to have instant instead of homemade but I didn’t give a single fuck! I’d get a whole bowl of that shit and just go to town. The only downside was that it required the use of the stove, which at 10 years old I just didn’t have time for. I had Doodle Jump to play and a Temple Run high score to beat.
Leaning Tower’s microwave pizzas are the most hilarious piece of cuisine to me. Whose idea was it to make a tiny version of a good food and then make it even worse by turning it into a soggy mess in the microwave? They tasted good most of the time but that shit would come out burning hot with the texture of a damp piece of bread. It’s not lower on the list because it lives up to its ‘instant’ title.
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Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her) Illustrated by Marie Bailey
3.
San Remo single snack pasta packets have a deeply special place in my heart. They took way too long for something that called itself instant, and made an absolute mess of the microwave. You had to get the microwave time and the milk/ butter ratio just right to make it taste good. When you got the steps right though MY GOD this stuff absolutely banged. I’d make up a bowl of that and just stare at the TV watching Cartoon Network. I’ll confess I still have these in my pantry, they’re only like a dollar at Countdown which fits my budget perfectly.
2.
Indomie Mi Goreng has a special place in my student heart. I always felt so adventurous as a kid when I would put a little bit of the chili sauce in my bowl. I was cultured, my pallet was diverse and I was on my way to being a professional chef. These always beat out Maggi chicken or beef flavour for me. This is another one that still resides in my pantry, chuck a fried egg on that motherfucker and you’re set. Although the role as an after-school snack has transformed into a drunken indulgence, they’ll always mean everything to me.
1.
Wattie’s frozen mac and cheese is still one of my favourite things on this earth. Our freezer would often be filled with Wattie’s microwave meals but this one gets the top spot in my eyes. It truly is instant, and it gets bonus points that you can eat it straight out of the packet, no bowl required. My brother and I would often battle over who got the last box in the freezer, and for good reason. Yes, these take a little longer to heat up than a Cup a Soup or a microwave pizza, but it was always worth the wait. No stirring, no stove and no regrets when you buy this gorgeous little box of carbs and dairy.
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Lily Petrovich (She/They) Illustrated by Kimi Moana Whiting
The Taste of Home
Growing up, food tends to just be food. We have a palate of flavours we’re raised on until one day we move away from home. From here, the doors open to the wonderful world of food and we meet flavours we never knew existed. Immigrants can teach us a lot about the world we live in, particularly in a country spoiled for riches, and with a turntable of nationalities. Something about living within different cultures opens your eyes to what’s out there in the world.
Gordana, born and raised in former Yugoslavia, Serbia, came to New Zealand in the 90s. She left behind everything she knew to bring her family away from war and push her future generations to live a life of peace. From cooking as a wife and mother, to working in kitchens here in Aotearoa, to staying connected to her home country, food has always been the common denominator, and close to Gordana’s heart. “I found as an immigrant coming to New Zealand, I was feeling all the time, something is missing, something missing,” she explains.
“I tried to make our meals, but many things weren’t available, like yeast. In 1995 you couldn’t find yeast in a shop very easily, or you couldn’t find a good coffee. This is Karori we’re talking about.” Like in any country, food here in New Zealand has its own distinct culture. When (or if) we leave New Zealand, we’re reminded of this. Culture shock is a bit of an attack on the senses, everything looks different, feels different, sounds different, even tastes different. “We found in Moore Wilson’s we could buy our coffee, yeast, and sausages, no poor offcuts of meat; instead, pork, lamb and beef all combined. That is where we were finding the taste of home, but only a little.” “One year it was some celebration, I think 40 years of the Serbian Church in Island Bay. I called the woman who was organising it, and I asked whether it’s all right if I take a meal, podvarak, to church. Podvarak is diced sauerkraut with a lot of various meat, slow-cooked, and after that a
little bit roasted in the oven to have a kind of skin on top. I thought that would be humble, in Serbia it’s very humble. She said ‘Bring as much as you can! There will not be one little dot left, that many people will like podvarak’.” “And I did that, I had two slow cookers at the time, two big pots slow cooking, and after that roasted a little bit. Because that meal can last one week. A few days after is better than the first day. First day I was making one pot, next day making another pot, third day taken to the church.” She explains sarma is better a couple days after it’s prepared. “Many of our meals are eaten the next day, which is very different than here, where you want to do everything kind of instant[ly].” Her partner and a British immigrant, Brian, who’s been in New Zealand for several decades now, notes that “there was something funny about the New Zealand attitude to freshness we noticed. There was an emphasis on meat being fresh, whereas at home we would hang a chicken for a couple days, we wanted the meat to be not fresh, it would have more taste to it and be more digestible.” He thinks it’s crazy. “You don’t get the probiotics that way.” This perspective reminds us how linked culture and food is. Even when New Zealand food has a lot of influence from the British, British immigrants can note such differences – there’s no doubt that we prioritise freshness, but other cultures don’t? Gordana explains, “We have two components in an older meal, we have probiotics which is the work of beneficial bacterial which is preparing itself to multiply, but not letting food poisoning bacteria develop, another one on meat is enzymes. They’re in our body to digest our food. Meat is not very easy to digest, we have meat in our stomachs too.” Brian continues, “If you have hanged meat for a few days, in Britian it’s practice, that meat is becoming tender and tastes more like that animal because the enzymes are starting to break up the tissue. That meat is tastier and easier to digest.” “Science is more financing war effort than food or biology,” Gordana scoffs. “We have food science but it’s about how to make food more attractive and saleable and more addictive,” adds Brian. “And lasting longer,” says Gordana,
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“which isn’t good for us, all preservatives are stopping enzymes. But with these meals you don’t know whether it’s going to be sold that day, or the next, or the next.” “Older is better than the due date, not best before. Cheese can’t go off,” Gordana laughs. “That’s why we have aged cheese, it can only be spoiled by cross-contamination. Cheese can harden if it loses water from the surface, but it’s not bad. I’m buying cottage cheese, leaving it in the fridge for [two or three] weeks before using it, because it tastes more like the food I’m used to.”Gordana explains growing up, pickling was generally used to preserve food above refrigeration. The way that food finds its way on the plate is completely dependent on where you are and the background of those preparing what you eat. Gordana explains how emphasized a slow cooking process was back home, “Nothing is fast there except fried eggs, everything else is slow. Like sourdough, few days made in advanced with a starter, with instant yeast its faster but it doesn’t have the same taste.” Brian who’s spent years eating Serbian food while living with Gordana explains that “a lot of difference between Serbian food and typical western foods is Serbian food takes a lot of effort in cooking and time preparing it. Whereas typical western food is much more efficient but much simpler and much less good for you.” “Meals from home are more complex and again, slow cooking, but they’re recognisable from one house to another,” says Gordana. There’s no doubt that here in New Zealand, we all have varying but generally simpler recipes. “When I came here, I found diversification, because of various nationalities. Unbelievably exciting.
Like curry. I like curry, a lot.”
“That’s recent though, we didn’t have that 40 years ago,” Brian adds, reflecting once more how much immigration has impacted Aotearoa’s food scene. Covid-19, not only threatening any human with the loss of taste, separates any immigrant from their home countries.“The biggest problem for me, with Covid-19, is not being able to go back to my own country.” The war in Ukraine has added a whole other gross layer of separation anxiety from Gordana’s home. “When I go there, I feel a little bit pampered, if not very pampered, by my brother and sister. They will do everything they know. My sister-in-law is always very good. She’ll prepare the largest pot of sarma and say it’s for me. Or they
will order a whole roast piglet on a stick. Imagine that!” Gordana’s entire face lit up as she recounts her visits home. “And after that, a whole selection of drinks. That’s what I’m missing, drinks, and then food, and then drinks again. Oh, and dancing, I miss the dancing.” But Covid-19 hasn’t entirely stopped connections to home and other cultures, food and meal sharing has helped keep these connections strong. “Connections really started when I began retirement; when I was working, I had no time. Compatriots would come on my day off, but I wouldn’t be able to prepare everything I wanted.” Typical capitalism getting in the way of the important stuff. “Once I stopped working, I was able to go down the road of more traditional meals. And the connection is unbelievable. They will like some of the meals, but all of them will open their hearts and talk about their experiences, from childhood to their grandmother’s favourite food, or from old country if they’re immigrants.” What is significant here is how food can not only help keep connections to home or other immigrants strong but can also bring New Zealanders together with immigrants to try something new. “One couple who are both born New Zealanders, I invited them for a Serbian Christmas. They were really very happy to see a Serbian Christmas. They were very happy and from that time on we kind of cemented our friendship, and from that time on we’ve been exchanging recipes.” “Another very positive experience I have is with a Filipino couple. I invited them over to show off that I can make Filipino food. Now they’re trying Serbian meals and I’m trying Filipino meals. And with another lady who is Vietnamese, I have a lot of Vietnamese food - with an American guy as well.” “People are really happy to have national meals, even if they’re on a diet, they’ll go off the diet for a day when they’re visiting.” Some of us are lucky enough to enjoy the flavours of home as mum’s cooking welcomes us home between semesters. But for some of us, home is oceans away. One thing every human needs is food and a sense of home. Some of us are lucky enough to give neither home nor food much thought, while for others: it is everything. We are lucky to have all of these experiences contribute to our food scene in Aotearoa, as many keep that connection between an old and new home.
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SEXCAPADES
Food for thought. It’s Saturday night. My boyfriend (at the time) and I had a ritual of getting absolutely hammered and ordering out from our local indian takeaways. We always felt invincible after a few wines, so we ordered our usual extra hot Chicken Madras. This Madras packs a fucking punch, and after devouring the whole things, our lips were throbbing, eyes were watering and our arseholes we’re clenched holding on for dear life. As all Saturday nights should end, Netflix gets halfway through the opening scene and clothes get ripped all the way off. My horniness levels are peaked from the cheeky garlic naan we ordered on the side who isn’t turned on by garlicky carbs. Little did we know, as the horniness increased so would the heat. Our bodies collided and his mouth ventured all the way down my body, until eventually, his lips pressed gently against mine. The initial sensation was amazing, my toes curled and I gripped his head pushing him closer. As we move from the stages of foreplay to fucking, a rather warm tingle graced my lower region. I think nothing of it, we’ve had problems with lube before, and we’d just got tucked into our newest bottle.
Finally, our bed was rocking at full force, sex faces whipped out. The tingly sensation I mentioned earlier, turns into a blazing inferno. I’d imagine this is what it feels like to have a fujitsu heat pump full-force on my vagina. I looked at my boyfriend in agony and asked whether he had washed his hands and face after dinner. After a short pause, and a menacing grin, he responded with a slight shake of the head. We turned the lights on and I could see remnants of the dreaded Madras stuck to his moustache. At this point my fire pussy (my pussy is FIRE, but I mean on-fire) is in real pain. In a panicked frenzy I scream at him to get some water to douse the flames. Like all dudes, he doesn’t listen and brings back a bottle of blue-top milk. Instead of calculating the risk versus reward, I pour the great equaliser all over my body. I’ve been saved by the milk, and I’m lactose intolerant. Two days later and all seems well. We had tried our best to push this spicy experience to the back of our minds, but my vagina is still in severe pain. I go to the doctors and would you believe it, I’ve got a yeast infection from pouring milk into my vagina. Safe to say, we are no longer partners, and I will never touch Chicken Madras again.
29 / Rangitaki
Confessions of a...
Formerly Shit Cook
I find it funny – yet touching at the same time – whenever people tell me I ought to start selling the stuff that I bake. Another thing I find funny, and something people don’t seem to believe me whenever I tell them, is that I didn’t really learn how to bake until after I’d started at university. I’ve always liked food. Mum used to tell me that I was never a fussy feeder even as a kid; that I quickly progressed from breast milk to baby formula to several different varieties of baby food, until the day came when I could sit at the table, propped up by a pile of cushions, and eat the same stuff my parents were having for dinner. Anyway, the fact that I liked food and was always keen to try something new was good enough. Unfortunately, if one loves to eat, one must eventually learn how to cook. To put it frankly, I tried to learn how to cook in the same way I learned how to read: by being forced too. When I moved out of home, I couldn’t rely on an abundance of last night’s leftovers, or a mystery Sunday crockpot. When that didn’t work, I tried reading every cookbook, watching every YouTube video, and binging Gordon Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares. After all this reading and watching that flew in one ear, and out the other, I knew that there was only one way to learn: I tried to make everything – and bother the fact that it earned me singed eyebrows and burnt fingertips. My work in the kitchen progressed from cakes with scorched bottoms and sunken, molten middles to main courses lacking in seasoning, to breads that were stale the second they left the oven. It wasn’t easy, it was frustrating. But, unlike in most things, I never felt like giving up. I was so obstinate, so obsessed with getting the recipe just right or making it just a little bit better than the original. It had to taste good and look good. People had to like it.
I remember a batch of peanut butter cookies, one of those things that was so simple to make yet I failed time and again to get it right. I remember crossing my fingers as I opened the oven to take out the cookie sheet. Voila: they were perfectly golden, deliciously aromatic, and had a homey, comforting, salty-sweet flavor that made people grab one cookie after another off the rack even as they cooled. Nowadays, I like it that I can bake or cook gifts for the people who mean a lot to me as opposed to going to a shop and just picking something off a shelf. I feel that doing so puts a little bit of myself into the gift – be it cake or pie or cookies or even a homemade pasta sauce – and makes it more special. When I was putting a seal on a container filled with triple chocolate chunk cookies for a certain person a week before last Christmas, I wondered how he would react to what would probably be an unexpected gift. Then, I suddenly stopped what I was doing and laughed as I realized how far I’d come since those first botched attempts at cooking and baking. The kitchen, at the time, was still filled with the rich smell of Whittakers chocolate, the nutty aroma of cinnamon, and that pleasing fragrance emitted by sugar baked with butter. It was then that I accepted the fact that not only did I know how to eat, but I also knew how to cook.
And I knew how to cook well.
And the day finally came when I got the recipe right.
Confessions of a is an anonymous column that looks o t unearth viewpoints from unique individuals at Massey Univesr it.y Each e w ek e w wil gie v the spotlitgh o t someone new, so If o y u think o y e u’v got an intee r sting story o t e t l, please get in o t uch with diE o t r@massivemagazine.org.nz 30 / Rang/itaRangitaki 30 ik
Te Reo and NZSL Words of the Week Revitalising te reo Māori and NZSL is of paramount importance. Take a few minutes out of your day to learn and memorise these words. It's the least we can do.
pune (spoon)
hiakai (hungry)
hapa (dinner)
SOLICITED ADVICE
Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugar-coated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind.
Why is cooking so hard?
Firstly, grow up. Cooking isn’t hard. Secondly, this is an advice column for god’s stake, not a whining arena. Cooking is an art and a luxury, if you’re able to do it, do it right. But anyway, I will try and turn this into some life changing advice for you… season things... add something bougie on top like sesame seeds or fresh basil… and you will basically be a chef. Eating is something we have no choice but to do, you might as well aim to make all of the mundane daily things as joyous and glorious as possible. Also, check your privilege xx
Are rebounds a good way to get over someone? I simply have never been dumped and have only ever dumped. Once I dumped a boyfriend in a cafe and he cried and I told him I didn’t care. However, I have many a friend whom I have consoled/annoyed through such a time. My advice is to be alone for a little bit. Make sure you know yourself and check you’re still a capable and functioning member of society as a singleton. Don’t rebound if it’s because you need to, do it because you want to.
Boobs or ass?
I’ve decided neither, you absolute weirdo. I’m not going to reduce someone down to that. This question is so rooted in what’s trendy at any given time, and what’s trendy is so largely influenced. Again, an advice column gentle-people, but I’m flattered you care about my opinion. I am going to elect ass for my answer. I think boobs can kind of be a weird territory, lots of boob having people can feel a bit uncomfortable with what’s clinging to their chest, whether that be because it’s too big or too small or makes them feel dysmorphic because it doesn’t belong there in the first place, so putting alot of emphasis on it can be uncomfy. I’ve known boob havers who have chronic back pain who do not want to have a breast reduction because they think it would lessen their value to potential partners. If you’re a fan of your boobs that’s really cool but I think ass is a bit safer. However, I think it’s also interesting to note that trends include body shapes (and a lot of what is desirable is rooted in racism) and although ass is in at the moment, something else will prevail at some point soon, so don’t get a BBL for God’s sake. ps 1/6000 BBLs result in death…
Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? DM Massive Magazine on Instagram and look out for next week’s issue. Also, follow us while you’re at it x
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Horoscopes Capricorn
Aquarius
Pisces
Take up your dodgy flatmate when they ask you if you want some brownie. It’s a pretty good time.
The milk you’ve been drinking has never agreed with your tummy, just bite the bullet and swap over to the superior alternative.
Lifes been kicking your ass, Pisces. I don’t know if it’s an energy boost that you need, but here’s one anyway.
Your food/drink of the week: Weed brownie
Your food/drink of the week: Oat Milk
Your food/drink of the week: Red Bull (not sponsored..)
Aries
Taurus
Gemini
It’s time to take a page out of the Spice Girls’ book and spice-up-ya life, we’re talking scovilles.
Māori cuisine is one of Aotearoa’s great gifts. If you haven’t tried them before, make some fry bread, find some boil-up and give hāngī a go.
The frustration of unclear course materials is starting to boil your blood. Just remember, you’re not you when you’re hungry.
Your food/drink of the week: Carolina reaper
Your food of the week: Culture
Your food of the week: Snickers
Cancer
Leo
Virgo
Depression meals are calling your name. Check out the feature in this week’s issue, you might get some inspo.
Breakfast is the most important meal of the day! Make sure you start the day off on the right food with some nourishing kai.
I can feel your hands shaking while you’re reading this page. Take a break from caffeine.
You food of the week: Pretzereal
Your food/drink of the week: Smashed avo on toast
Your food/drink of the week: Tea (and no coffee)
Libra
Scorpio
Sagittarius
A little birdy told me you were looking to go vegan. What an environmentally conscious king!
It’s been 14 days since you’ve attempted to cook a proper meal, let’s make it 21!
Out with your frugal tendencies! You might only have 13 dollars to last you for the week, but you will spend it all on food!!!
Your food/drink of the week: Vegan Trumpet
Your food/drink of the week: Mi Goreng
Your food/drink of the week: Boujee versions of what you usually buy
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ODA T Y
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Spoon + Fork Chips, cheese and gravy Genre of beer famous in Wellington Shaken, not stirred 5 dollar pizza Te reo for water Island noodles Kitchen ran by Gordon Yellow fruit Rat in a hat Te Reo for pig Best tea dunking biscuit “I’m doing a _ hand tonight” Fruit spread Vegan meat alternative, similar to the devil Nothing rhymes with Lemon-lime drink Homers fave
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Nosey snack... Te reo for tasty Cut into long thin strips Cut finely Fruit from space Cooked in an earth oven Colonel Most cliche drinking game 2 minutes Real g’s move in silence like... Flaky pastry Cafe on Wellington Campus Cooking technique - to preserve Ahi ahi To eat quickly, gardening tool White rum, also a Miley Cyrus song Hungriest animal (according to a popular kids game) Student bar in Palmy
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LAST WEEKS CROSSWORD ANSWERS ACROSS: 2 ROCK, 5 LEOPARD, 8 CRITIC, 10 FIVE, 1 ATAAHUA, 13 NINE, 15 RAZOR, 17 CONTROL, 18 CORN, 21 BASKETBALL, 23 STAR, 24 SWIFT, 25 HIBERNATE, 27 BOILUP, 29 WII, 30 PANDEMIC, 32 DULX DOWN: 1 NAP, 3 OLD, 4 DEFICIT, 6 WIN, 7 MAKARERE, 9 COUCHES, 12 WILIAMSON, 13 NINE, 14 NOSE, 16 NODLES, 19 WARIORS, 20 GARFIELD, 22 DUREX, 26 TUI, 28 WHALE, 31 CODYS
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40 cells diameter theta maze
Word Wheel The target is to create as many words as possible from the letters within the Word Wheel
You must use the middle letter.
Sudoku
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Ben ASA
What a whirlwind few weeks this has been, with people finally being able to go on campus then suddenly not being able to as well due to the 10-day isolation. Just as normality started peeking its head around the corner we got shafted again. For many students at Massey, this means that they’ve spent most of their degree in some sort of lockdown arrangement. These students are told “Just wait a bit when lockdown is over, we will be on campus again and it will be amazing” or “I remember when this campus was full of people.” I must admit it is extremely disheartening to hear students entering their final year and haven’t truly experienced what Massey is really like. Now I can make a million promises about how semester two will be so much better, but I can’t promise that. What I can promise is that the ASA will continue to be here to support students in every way that we can. Our student lounge is still open (we have a vending machine as well now), and so are our offices. Come by and say hello.
MARLA MUSA Kia ora koutou! To be on brand with this massive issue let’s kōrerō about kai. MUSA often has free food available at all in person events, and who doesn’t love free dominos? MUSA also offers food grants if you can’t afford groceries one week: up to $70 per week ($100 if you have a dependent) OR… there’s Just Zilch in town on Featherston Street - basically a small supermarket where everything is free! You could always be cheeky and snag a pear off of one of Massey’s pear trees as well. Basically, no student should ever have to go hungry period. On another note, if you’re in the Manawatū and your flat needs to isolate but you don’t have any other mates to grab your supermarket shopping for you, MUSA can be your honorary mate for a bit - just contact advocay@musa.org.nz we’ll help sort you out! Stay safe everyone! <3
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ENTS Fiona and Lizzo MAWSA
What’s up beautiful people?! The Food Issue is always something we both look forward to from Massive, we both LOVE FOOD and even have a Co-Presidential snack drawer! (plz give us ideas of what to add to it, we only have ramen and pretzels) If you are still in isolation, we hope that you’re all okay and making sure you’re fueling your body with Uber Eats (and your 5+ a day obvi) Don’t forget MAWSA is here to help with our food grants of up to $50!
For the longest time, I’ve overcommitted myself in an eternal search to find the next thing that will push my limits, inspire new passions or accelerate my potential in life.However, committing to too many things at once often means sacrificing the time/energy required to engage deeply with any of those things. For serial over-committers like myself, there is a real sense of adventure and pride in taking on more and more. But in order to go deep in anything, we need to give up the sexiness of a new start in favour of the monotonous determination that it takes to push a little further in the space we already occupy.
Joshua M@D
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