MASSIVE Magazine - Issue 2 - 2022

MASSIVE

2

7 March 2022

The Digital issue

The digital world is taking over courses being created with working from home in mind, who isn’t taking advantage of sleeping in and not being on campus, I know I would be.

Tēnā koutou, e hoa, I can feel the jitters running through my body, my palms are sweating, my knees knobbling, and my heart racing as I long for a physical copy of Massive Magazine. I know, it doesn’t quite feel the same without the premium paper between your fingers, but we’ve made a commitment to continue creating a full magazine, at a consistently high level - so here’s the next best thing!

Anyways, enough with the doom and gloom, nau mai to Massive Magazine’s first-ever online edition! After a kōrero with Massey distance students, who cannot get ahold of physical copies, and considering the number of students studying off-campus due to Covid-19 restrictions, we thought this was the best approach to ensure all walks of Massey are able to have a connection with Massive.

To kick off the digital issues in the right way, I thought I’d discuss the three best things about being online… I’m really trying to make the best out of a bad situation…

Accessibility Yes, I start off with the conventional answer, the one that will please the people.

Accessibility is a major problem Massive has had in the past. For the past few years with Covid-19 ever-present in our lives, being on campus and indulging in a paper copy of Massive Magazine is not as common as it used to be. And let’s be honest, who is actually attending classes every week? Nowadays, with

Convenience Picture this, it’s 6:45am, you’re waking up with plenty of time to gather your thoughts before you set off for your 8am lecture - which you never miss. The first thing you do is open your phone, click two buttons, and then Massive Magazine and all its glory is before your eyes.

Before it’s 7:15 you’ve already skimmed through all 40 sweet, sweet pages. Your smile is wide, there’s a pep in your step, and you are ready to smash the day!

Also, we’re all super environmentally friendly nowadays, so saving some trees every couple of weeks can only be good karma.

Saves me some bloody time The honest answer, and one I’m not all too proud of. But it’s just REALLY nice to have a bit more leeway to create better content for all of you! With an online edition, I get time to put some TLC into the magazine you hopefully read weekly.

Here at Massive, we go to print on Wednesday night, a week before the magazine hits the stands on campus. With an online version, we don’t need to pull tooth from mouth to submit something to the printer until it’s actually finished.

I digress! We’re super excited to dive into some serious (and not so serious) topics this week.

Also, apologies for the abundance of spelling errors in the printer version of issue 1 - first issue jitters x

Ngā manaakitanga, Mason Tangatatai

AT’S IN Editoral

2

News

4

Features Representation or Romanciticisation

8

Too Little, Too Late

12

The Rise of the Locally-Made Podcast

16

The Conversion of Laws

18

Massey Millionaires

22

Drag King Hugo Grrrl says “It’s Time” to Step Away from Drag

24

Columns Massey Confessions

Editor - Mason Tangatatai Feature Writer - Aiden Wilson ’tbeMagzin,syvoldchmpruf eatosdrwCuncilhPeZtNgsMav eE sandopir,blfwAt.ThvcPSu Mme etMasynprdihgofvc g.nzemaior@svdtyqucPlp U

Worst of the Worst

30

Te Reo and NZSL

31

Solicited Advice

32

Horoscopes

34

Snapchats

35

Puzzles

36

Presidents Column

38

Designer - Marie Bailey

Sub Editor - Jamie Mactaggart

29

News Editor - Elise Cacace

News Reporter - Sammy Carter

Illustrator - Kimi Moana Whiting

Culture Editor - Elena McIntyre-Reet

Feature Writer - Mia Faiumu

Illustrator - Sara Moana

Feature Writer - Lily Petrovich

Photographer - Amelia Radley

7 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

WHAT’S GOING ON? WEEKLY NEWS UPDATES

Bored of Borders?

Elise Cacace (She/Her)

Life before 2020 is like a fever dream; a land where facemasks are only worn by surgeons and dentists, and going on holiday could mean actually leaving the country (and being allowed to return back home again)! Now, with Covid-19 cases climbing and protests prevailing, everyone is wondering whether life will ever be the same again. Although it doesn’t seem like it, Aotearoa is starting to take small steps towards repossessing its prepandemic freedom. On February 2nd, the Government announced its plan to re-open our borders and reunite our country with the rest of the world. Here is a breakdown of how this will go: On February 27th, our border will open up to vaccinated New Zealanders flying in from Australia, and on March 13th New Zealanders around the rest of the world can follow suit. For the vaccinated, MIQ will be replaced with a Covid-19 test on arrival and selfisolation, but for the unvaccinated, MIQ rules will remain the same. Although the majority of the year will be spent with our borders restricted to key visa holders and essential workers,

by October, New Zealand will be fully reopened to all visitors and visa categories from everywhere.

For many people, there is a lot to celebrate. Businesses will start to thrive once more as tourists come flooding in; families divided by different hemispheres can come together again, and travel plans can finally be put into action.

“It’s about time we reunite with the rest of the world, it feels like the other countries are laughing at us,” says firstyear Massey student Thomas Pohio.

“The Governments’ plan looks sensible enough. Smart use of RATs to make sure we minimise infections coming into the community, and limiting who is eligible for the following months is the way to go. Prioritise Kiwis who want to come home, and skilled workers for sectors of our economy that are struggling,” says fourth-year Massey student Campbell.

variants and our hospitals could be swamped beyond their capacities.

“I believe the borders should stay shut to the public, like tourists etc, as Covid-19 is still all over the place.

This is coming from someone who doesn’t have any sort of business or income from overseas though. I think keeping the borders closed is necessary for protecting the public and compromised individuals,” says Massey graduate, Tyler Brasell.

“I’m super excited for them (borders) to open up. We have reached 95% and I want to go overseas. Put on your party hats and pop the champagne, we’re almost free!” says another student, Saskia J.

“It feels counterproductive to everything we’ve done so far. Once the borders are open, there will be no stopping the virus from spreading everywhere. As someone that is immune-compromised, it makes me both scared and angry,” says Dustin Brown, a member of the public.

Many New Zealanders won’t be joining the celebrations though. There is a multitude of concerns that our lockdowns, restrictions, and hard work in keeping the community safe from Covid-19 will be swiftly undone by the influx of new arrivals. New Zealand could also become threatened by new

Whether you agree or disagree with the borders reopening, a few things we can all do to keep protecting the community and prevent catching and spreading the virus is to keep washing our hands, keep social distancing, wearing masks, scanning in, staying positive and getting vaccinated.

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7 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

No More Room For Racism

shouted at them by different students prior to this most recent attack.

Elise Cacace (She/Her)

Distressingly, Otago Girls’ is not the only high school in Aotearoa to have hosted such an atrocious attack, and it is not an uncommon occurrence either. Within the last two years a young Asian student was removed from her Whangārei school after experiencing daily “racist abuse” and discrimination. A Māori language school in Invercargill, Te Wharekura o Arowhenua, was the victim of a racist attack in the form of a spray-painted racial slur on the school sign, and a school cricket match in Hawkes Bay was abandoned not long into the game due to racial vilification and sexist slurs against players of Indian, Sri Lankan and Pakistani heritage. Furthermore, Moana Elis, a Local Democracy Reporter for RNZ released a statement saying that “93% of Māori in Aotearoa experience racism every day, and even more – 96%- say racism is a problem for their whānau”. These statistics were discovered by Te Atawhai o te Ao, an independent Māori institute for environment and health, and was published in Whakatika: A Survey of Māori Experiences of Racism.

The twenty-first century is all about evolution. The evolution of technology, of medicine, of fashion, and collective moral. We’ve seen the invention of the iPhone, the development of vaccines, the introduction of Yeezys and the movement to legalise gay marriage and destroy segregation. Humanity has come so far, but unfortunately, we still have a long way to go. A harsh reminder of our flaws came in the form of a physical and verbal assault on a young Muslim girl from Otago Girls’ High School on 9 February.

Hoda, 17, was brutally beaten and had her hijab ripped off after refusing to teach a group of three non-Muslim individuals Arabic swear words. Hoda’s friends were also victims of verbal and physical harassment, however Hoda suffered the most bodily trauma. She received injuries to her head, face, neck, and shoulders, which resulted in a concussion. An ambulance was not called but Hoda’s dad rushed her to the hospital where she received emergency medical care. This was not the first racial attack that Hoda and her friends had endured at school, having also had racial slurs and threats

So, what is going to be done about this severe and ongoing problem?

For Hoda, international recognition was received and over 87,000 people

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signed a petition under the hashtag #justice_for_Huda to raise awareness.

This publicity led to two out of three of her attackers being expelled, with the third receiving counselling. For the rest of our country, there are many things happening. An initiative led

by The New Zealand Human Rights Commission is gathering thoughts on how to address racism in Aotearoa. It has launched a website (againstracism. hrc.co.nz) in an effort to create an “action-oriented document, setting out solutions and goals, and identifying the steps the government could take to promote racial equality and eliminate racism”. In addition, The Teaching Council of Aotearoa New Zealand “has partnered with the Human Rights Commission (HRC) to develop an education response under the same banner as the HRC’s Give Nothing to Racism campaign”.

It is brilliant to see so many organisations and masses of people standing against racism, but in light of the recent events at Otago Girls’ High School, it is evident that we need to do better. Speak out if you see someone in trouble. Support the campaigns, raise awareness of these injustices, and just be kind.

7 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Always Read the Fine Print!

Thanks to Vic’s Mistake, Distance at Massey Celebrates its 60th Birthday Sammy Carter (She/Her)

Massey at Distance celebrates its 60th birthday this month, but no celebrations would be in order if it weren’t for the accident of Vic Uni that started it all.

While it’s quite a complicated story, here is a sum up: Vic ding dong didn’t read fine print = Massey gets Vic’s distance and science classes MwHAhAHa. Massey at Distance Co-President Jax Watt spent three weeks researching the story of how Massey at Distance came to be by reading a book which can only be described as awful, called The EXMSS Files: A People’s History of the Massey University Extramural Students’ Society. But alas, she got her story.

In the 1950s, Massey was solely an Agricultural College with a tiny campus in Palmerston North. Before Massey, Victoria University taught distance classes, or what was called extramural classes. However, Watt said Vic wasn’t “keen on being the extramural university because it was kind of that time where society was like ‘what’s extramural, it clogs up the system with part timers, it’s not a real way to get a degree’”.

85 Ghuznee St, Te Aro, Wellington www.splendid.nz @splendid.nz

Vic wanted to teach more science classes but had no space to teach them at its Wellington campus. So, Vic opened a Palmerston North campus but it “had nowhere to put students so they had this agreement with Massey College to have Massey house and feed any students that came to Victoria University for contact and summer school courses,” said Watt.

Because Vic wanted to teach “hot topics” like nuclear science, it wanted to palm off unwanted classes, such as the arts, to Massey Agricultural College. At the time, the New Zealand Senate made uni decisions and set rules. Watt said, “If you didn’t read the rules properly then that was on you, so that was essentially the mistake that Vic made.”

Watt explained, “Vic transferred extramural classes over to make room for science offerings, however, somewhere in the New Zealand Senate, it said that if science offerings were going to be offered in Palmerston North, then they had to go to the agricultural college because the veterinary programme was so good and they could do with the boost of science offerings.”

“This was all laid out in the Senate but no one from Vic read the Senate minutes, where the fine print was, so they made room and gave away these extramural classes to Massey Agricultural College to make room for science classes, not realising that the science classes automatically had to go to Massey Agricultural College.”

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What a happy accident (for us, not them).

Not only did this begin Massey at Distance but, with broadening subjects, it was “how Massey University essentially starting becoming a university”. All because “someone didn’t read the minutes of the 1957 Senate”, said Watt. “Look at Massey now, it’s just so crazy.”

In 1964, what was then called the Extramural Massey Student Society was made an autonomous body to advocate for distance students who now represent more than half of Massey’s student population. After sixty years, a lot is happening to celebrate the birthday of Massey at Distance. A 60th birthday party was meant to take place but has been put on hold because of, you guessed it, Covid-19. But being an online association, it knows how to celebrate around this. Massey at Distance is doing 60 days of giveaways starting March. To kick off the giveaway month, a $500 tattoo will be given to an Auckland distance student. Watt said, “Auckland’s been having a really rough time so we thought we give them some TLC.” Specially designed merch will be given away including embossed diaries, water bottles and wellness packs. The 60 days of giveaways will finish off with a spa treatment at the location of the winning distance student. The giveaways will be on the Massey at Distance Facebook group and on stream.

7 MARCH 2022

MASSIVE NEWS

Student Thieves Ravage O-Week Goodie Bags Mason Tangatatai (He/Him)

A lack of O-Week events has caused the Wellington student body to turn feral, as freshers have been caught stealing all the good shit from orientation goodie bags. This blatant crime comes directly after students were encouraged by Mason Tangatatai, Editor of Massive Magazine to “steal as much free shit as possible during O-Week” in their inaugural magazine.

MAWSA Co-President, Fiona Lu, is gravely disappointed with the attitude shown by the first-year cohort and believes there needs to be a more ”united” student body. “Massey Wellington students, we are a team of like 5,000, when you steal a Red Bull from us, you steal a vital energy boost from a fellow student,” says Lu. Students where invited by MAWSA to take one goodie bag per person. Within these bags are O-Week essentials such as condoms, coffee, various pamphlets and of course, RedBull. In the past, this tradition has acted as a peace offering

between the association and the students it looks after. Unfortunately, the scenes at Masseys Campus Co-lab were anything but peaceful as thieves got creative looking for ways to stock up on stimulants for the long semester ahead.

MAWSA General Manager, Julian Tanaka was forced to keep guard of the O-Week goodie bags to ensure no more coffee and Red Bull was stolen.

“It’s been a long shift guarding the orientation bags, students have been hatching shifty plans to get more than they’re allowed,” says Tanaka. “We put a lot of TLC into these bags, I genuinely hope no one misses out because of this,” Tanaka continues.

MAWSA Designer, Tallulah Farrar believes students need to reflect on their actions. “Red Bull and coffee are the cornerstone of our student body’s lives. If you are taking this valuable source away from another student, you need to take a good, long hard look at yourself,” says Farrar.

Massey University has a strict policy on stealing. To remind those responsible for these heinous crimes, we have copied the Crimes Act below.

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Crimes Act 1961 s219 Theft or stealing (1) Theft or stealing is the act of,— (a) dishonestly and without claim of right, taking any property with intent to deprive any owner permanently of that property or of any interest in that property; s223 Punishment of theft (b) if the value of the property stolen exceeds $1,000, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 7 years; or (d) if the value of the property stolen does not exceed $500, to imprisonment for a term not exceeding 3 months.

When approached for comment, Mason Tanagatai bolted to his office, locked his door, and continued to blast Imagine Dragons. We believe this wasn’t how he imagined his first print week at Massive Magazine would go, but we hope this reality check halts his vendetta against the students of Massey University.

REPRESENTATION OR ROMANTICISATION CW: This article covers topics of drug abuse, mental illness, abuse, and suicide.

These next couple pages are going to be absolutely ridden with spoilers, proceed at your own risk.

Lily Petrovich (She/They) Illustrated by Kimi Whiting

HBO’s Euphoria is popping off at the moment. Covering abuse, drug addiction, mental illness and a whole heck more, it definitely leans on the morbid side. Even the cast agree the show can be hard to watch.

Euphoria dares to tell the stories many shows would never touch. The line between romanticisation and representation is one that Euphoria walks like a tight rope.

ROMANCISATION

REPRESENTATION

Many compare Euphoria to Netflix’s 13 Reasons Why, which picked up major criticism for romanticising suicide and mental illness. The National Institute of Mental Health reported a 28.7% increase in teen suicide following the release of 13 Reasons Why.

We’re all familiar with the concept of representation, which is to accurately portray something. While the difference between representation and romanticisation should be clear-cut, in a media setting it can be a bit tricky to separate the two.

With mental illness becoming a topic on the media’s radar, the difference between romanticisation and representation needs to be established.

From film and TV to social media, aesthetics is key to getting views and attention, which is crucial for funding to continue producing content.

Romanticisation is when something is glorified or idealised – when the negatives of something are downplayed. We’re all familiar with the tortured artist troupe (such as Van Gogh) or Tumblr’s obsession with the beautiful sad girl.

Dr Eoin Devereux, award-winning sociologist, media expert, and lecturer at the University of Limerick explains, “Media representations matter because they shape public beliefs and behaviour.”

It’s a dangerous phenomenon which can lead to consumers desiring harmful situations. Some will go as far as to even put themselves in these scenarios (smoking, self-harm, drugs and other destructive behaviours). It’s also harmful to those who struggle with such, as it makes light of some really tough situations to be in.

People need to see stories like theirs told. We all should be learning about diverse lives and stories to prepare us (particularly young media consumers) for the wider world, and this is what the media’s purpose is meant to be.

One very clear-cut way to tell if something is being romanticised is to look at the aesthetics going on.

Romanticised media will generally be nice to look at.

Euphoria’s cinematography alone is enough to raise questions about romanticisation.

When covering heavier topics or stories, this is where a bit of a juggling act comes in. To continue accurately representing groups, the media needs to get the funds to produce content. Which means whatever they’re producing needs to be appealing enough to pull in audiences, but not so much that heavier topics are romanticised.

Many members of the Euphoria cast are models, and the only actors who are actually teenagers are the ones playing the children of the show.

The combination of cinematography and cast is what really fuels the idea that Euphoria is romanticising the stories it tries to depict.

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TRAUMATISING TO WATCH’ Euphoria without a doubt covers heavier topics. It’s been countlessly described as “traumatising to watch”.

Rue Bennett, played by Zendaya, is the protagonist and narrator of the show. From a young age she displays troubling traits and when her parents seek help, Rue is given a list of diagnoses and a handful of pills. She grows older, and following the passing of her dad, Rue picks up substance issues.

Many argue that Euphoria is romanticising Rue’s lifestyle. While her character is of course gorgeous, her story starkly contrasts that beauty.

Rue’s younger sister walks in on her overdosed body.

Rue loses her girlfriend after she finds out that Rue was still abusing drugs. She loses friends after acting up amidst withdrawals. Her family are thrown into turmoil when they confront Rue about her drug use. The rehab facilities are full when needed. Rue’s mum eventually ‘gives up’ on Rue to care for her younger daughter who’s acting out because of Rue’s addiction.

The show may appear to idealise drugs and mental illness, but nothing about Rue’s life is ideal, and the grim reality of addiction and its connection to mental illness is made clear. The question is really: Do the aesthetics/cast of the show romanticize or undermine the deeper ideas behind Euphoria?

In an interview with Entertainment Weekly (EW), Nika Young, the actress behind Rue’s Mum (Leslie), says, “It’s definitely not pretty at all, but Sam (director of Euphoria) realized that that needs to be seen. We need to see this Bennett family really go through it because that’s the only way the audience and people who are also going through this in real life understand. And they’re like, ‘Wow, this is authentic. This is real.’”

Like the reality many in our world face, rehab isn’t an option for Rue come the second season. This is why effective preventative drug education is so important.

“Media content not only shapes our understanding of the social world but may also influence our actions (or inaction) about issues concerning fairness, justice and equality” – Dr Devereux “I think if we can still care about [Rue] after this, then I hope that other people can extend that to non-fictional characters, to real people, or just be a little bit more understanding and empathetic over the experience of addiction and what it does to people, what it does to their families,” says Zendaya in that same interview with EW. Comments on an Instagram post about Euphoria confirm that to an extent, this is the case.

“As someone who lives with complex PTSD, shows like this can be comforting. They explore traumatic situations in a way that’s easy for most people to understand, so when they come across it in real life, they have a general awareness of how someone might be feeling. Makes me feel less alone to know that this is something millions of people are now aware of and can pick up on these signs,” reads one comment.

Some believe only the first season glorified drug use, “I couldn’t watch all of it and wouldn’t suggest it for people who dealt with substance abuse. But this second season doesn’t at all. I’ve witnessed abuse since the day I was born, even struggled with it myself.

I can tell you this second season feels very validating, it gives the truth. I feel confident that people who watch this show with an open mind could understand my past situations even if they didn’t experience it first-hand. I love this show because it reminds me why I continue to work on my alcohol abuse.”

One commentor thinks, “It feels like a really horrible way to show more diversity and representation that we really need in [the] media. It makes me and lots of other people sick to our stomachs because of the glorification of all types of bad shit.”

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INFLUENCE OF MEDIA Trigger warnings begin every episode (as they should), but there has still been talk on social media of recovered/ recovering addicts relapsing because of the show.

Euphoria has picked up criticism by D.A.R.E, who believe the show is guilty of glorifying drug abuse. In an interview with TMZ, a representative from D.A.R.E says: “Rather than further each parent’s desire to keep their children safe from the potentially horrific consequences of drug abuse and other high-risk behavior, HBO’s television drama, Euphoria, chooses to misguidedly glorify and erroneously depict high school student drug use, addiction, anonymous sex, violence, and other destructive behaviors as common and widespread in today’s world.”

D.A.R.E have faced wide criticism for their infamous “just say no” campaign and other attempts at drug education.

But their point about Euphoria has been widely supported both directly and indirectly.

Zendaya responded to this in her EW interview, stating, “Our show is in no way a moral tale to teach people how to live their life or what they should be doing. If anything, the feeling behind Euphoria, or whatever we have always been trying to do with it, is to hopefully help people feel a little bit less alone in their experience and their pain.”

While the creators of the show have stated numerous times that the show is intended for mature audiences, like with drug use, teenagers aren’t necessarily going to listen to these warnings.

As Dr Devereux explains, “Media content matters because it is within media content that the shaping and framing of our understanding and perceptions of the social world takes place.”

Regardless of the intent behind creators of the show, media will always influence viewers.

Should shows such as Euphoria be working with experts to ensure their depictions aren’t harmful? Can we even really trust the experts available to work with?

D.A.R.E said they’d be open to working with HBO to push the show towards a less harmful approach. However, they have a reputation for fear-mongering campaigns which aim to scare youth away from trying drugs instead of prioritising education. This approach has since been recognized as harmful, with studies finding the program ineffective.

Without a doubt both the plot of the show and the debates behind it reflect massive gaps in education around these topics. The influence the show has and the fears behind it romanticising these behaviours show that the systems we already have in place aren’t strong enough. If we had adequate healthcare, debates around Euphoria wouldn’t be so significant (and we probably could trust the experts).

These aren’t questions that can be singlehandedly answered. We’re constantly progressing into a more saturated media landscape, accessed by more people every day.

With the heavy impacts and influence of media, the line between romanticisation and representation certainly needs to be addressed.

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TOO LITTLE, TOO LATE. WHY THE NEW FUNDING SCHEME DOES NOT SUPPORT THE MUSIC INDUSTRY. Mia Faiumu (She/Her)

Image: Carlos McQuillan

“I’ve got so many posters of gigs that my DJ name’s on that never came to fruition and it’s eery. Just seeing them flapping in the wind on a pole in town is like ‘ugh’! That was a space and a memory that could have happened.

It’s in this weird hold space.”

industry are feeling these impacts more significantly as government support continues to remain minimal. A new round of Cultural Sector Emergency Relief Funding has recently been announced, enabling eligible self-employed sole traders to apply for a one-off grant of $5,000.

While more funding may seem appealing, it should be noted that this grant only covers 10 weeks’ worth of work, which gives artists a total of $500 per week. With rent prices in Wellington sitting at around $250 a week for an individual room, it’s unlikely that this amount will enable artists to do much after they pay for their rent and their weekly grocery shop.

This funding announcement also comes too late, at a moment in which artists have been without income for an entire month. The submission date for applications is stated to be from the end of February, ensuring that by the time these are processed by the Ministry of Culture and Heritage, artists will have likely been left in the dark for even longer.

Manager of Fat Freddy’s Drop, Nicole Duckworth, expressed that a range of emotions are being felt across the industry and the new rounds of funding have only seemed to worsen frustrations.

“The events insurance schemes and the arts funding that’s recently been announced are not fit for purpose. It’s not accessible by artists, the insurance schemes don’t seem to cover the artists or production crew – it’s just so difficult to access,” says Nicole.

“In order to apply you have to submit basically your full financials – which includes a statement of financial position, a profit and loss sheet, [an] eight-week cash flow forecast.

You basically need to hire an accountant to be able to submit the application. It’s way too complicated, it’s too late. It’s not enough.”

Image: Roxy Leppan

Roxy Leppan, also known as Pork Crackle, is a young Wellington DJ, who is among many artists throughout Aotearoa who are trying to keep their heads above water at a time where the Government has provided insufficient support for creatives.

“What did everyone do during all these lockdowns around the world? They listened to music, they watched movies or TV shows, they read books. All these things to fill up everyone else’s time was an art form which has now been left in the dust.”

Carlos McQuillan, also known as Techno Tradie, is another young Wellington DJ, who, like many other artists, is trying to maintain artistic momentum as we move into our third year of living with Covid-19.

The effects of Covid-19 have been felt in a range of ways across Aotearoa, but it seems that those within the music

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These feelings were reflected in the conversation I had with Carlos McQuillan, a Wellington-based DJ, known as Techno Tradie.

“That sole traders thing you can’t even actually apply for.

You’re not actually able to apply until the end of February.

That’s a whole month worth of not being able to get anything whatsoever.”

“Pretty shit fucking recovery realistically,” says Carlos.

Pork Crackle, has also felt left behind by the Government.

“Those few weeks where the funding hadn’t been announced was so scary. The date that we went into red light was talked about by the Government in December, they could’ve organised something so that people weren’t left terrified. I’m still scared so it’s not really helped,” says Roxy.

While many artists were able to access wage subsidy

support throughout the previous stages of Covid-19 alert levels, the new traffic light system prohibits events occurring while offering those involved in cancelled events minimal compensation or long-term support.

“With red light, for some reason, that wage subsidy’s just nowhere to be seen,” Roxy explains.

It’s becoming ever more urgent that the creative industries are supported to ensure that their creativity and workflow is enabled to continue. As case numbers rise, an end to red light does not seem near and artists are likely to be without income from shows for the foreseeable future. Without financial support from the Government, artists will not be able to sustain their livelihoods and continue to make the art that fulfils all of our lives.

“It sucks,” says Roxy, “because everything that has been comforting to the entire world throughout these past few years, all of the industries and all of the things that people

seeing a rapid reduction in the size of our music industry.

“Things will have to start to turn within 6 months, it cannot go on like this. Either [Covid-19] will disappear or the industry will really, really turn into itself and shrink,” says Brent.

Without a sustainable plan in place to support the music industry long-term, it is likely that many creatives will have no choice but to reduce their time spent on art, and pick up other avenues of work.

After the second lockdown, Carlos took on full-time work again as a builder. While he recognises that he is amongst those lucky enough to be able to lean on other skills, he notes that this has seriously impacted on his creative flow and productivity.

“Even in the small stint where it was orange light - trying to get gigs moving and for people to dance, it was near impossible. That was the change for me where I realised that I’m going to need to do something that can still operate in a [Covid-19] world,” explained Carlos.

But taking up other avenues of work can have a real impact on the capacity of an artist to continue with their creative endeavours on top of further work.

“The mental brain space that that [a] painter or writer or musician or filmmaker needs to have to come up with ideas and have clarity of mind and energy and not be tired from working – they need time, they need brain space,” says Roxy.

These feelings are being further fuelled by what seems to be a lack of investment in supporting or fostering the arts within Aotearoa. As artists receive both minimal financial support and appreciation, it’s not surprising that many are losing their motivation to continue.

“A lot of people from what I talk to, they’re finding it really hard to keep going with their passion. That’s kind of the hard point, to find something that you still want to do because there’s a glimmer of hope that you can at least make it,” explained Carlos.

Roxy mirrored these feelings when I spoke with her. “These things that keep a country with terrible mental health a little bit afloat – that hope. It’s a big deal to take that away from people and it’s a big deal to take that away from all the event planners and musicians.”

Image: Roxy Leppan

consume that has been making people feel ok is art.”

“Music, Netflix, TikTok, content creating… so many things that people consume to make themselves feel better about how shitty the world has been goes back to the world of arts and for that to not be taken seriously and not be looked after is so backwards.”

Brent Eccles, Managing Director of Eccles Entertainment and Frontier Touring, spoke of the likelihood of Aotearoa

It is very apparent that the general feeling appears to be one of frustration and helplessness. These artists are the very people who kept our spirits alive during these lockdowns, and we cannot see out a future where we watch artist morale beaten to a pulp.

“If you’re not looking after the people doing this,” explains Carlos, “there’s not going to be anymore new shit. There’s not going to be anything because everyone has to go off and

14 / Aronui

become an accountant or do something fucking boring.”

This points to a sombre future for the New Zealand music industry. One in which our creative talent is depleted and devalued unless we start to see significant changes starting to occur.

Nicole Duckworth also spoke to this point saying, “I imagine what we will find out looking back on this period is that we have lost a generation of artists – they won’t come through, they’ll just be lost.”

The Government needs to seriously consider better ways in which they can offer support to the creative industries.

These conversations make it blatantly clear that without accessible funding and long-term measures in place, many artists will be unable to provide for themselves in their current situations.

When asking what support artists themselves believe they are actually in need of, comments regarding the Pathways to Arts and Cultural Employment (PACE) scheme have been thrown around.

“We did have that when we came up as emerging artists,” says Nicole. “It meant you could be on the unemployment benefit for like a year and your rent is covered and you could really go out and pursue your artistic endeavours. It is talked about with much nostalgia these days.”

This scheme was started under Helen Clark’s Labour Government in 2001, until it was officially axed by the National Party. It offered young, emerging artists the opportunity to hone in on their craft and foster their artistic talent without financial anxiety and pressure. It also reflected that artists and the wider creative industries were valued and respected by the rest of the country.

Many of the New Zealand artists we now consider household names were at some point on PACE. I think it’s really important to consider the impacts this could have on our future generation of emerging artists who are moving into the industry without any support of this kind.

How can we expect the same level of success for new talent when the Government is not sending the message that they’re valued?

When asked what she would like to see from the Government, Roxy stated, “It would be considerate to have some better communication, to not only hear about that $121 million but to see it going to people and to see the process of acquiring that made realistic and understandable for non-academic brains or young brains.”

My conversation with Nicole added to this point as she notes, “The funding really is not fit for purpose – all the funding appears to be is good media coverage for the Government.”

Image: Carlos McQuillan

“They can say these nice things, that they’re giving all this money out, but if no one can access the money, the money is not going anywhere. All it is [is] a media announcement – it’s gone no further than that.”

These are hard times for those involved in live performance, and for those of us in Covid-19 operating jobs, it’s important to acknowledge the privilege of stability in times like these.

For many people around the country, this is not the case.

For now, artists who are eligible as sole traders, can start applications for a one-off grant of $5,000 from the Ministry of Culture and Heritage. It is still unclear when artists will realistically receive this payment, by which time many will have gone without income for a prolonged period of time.

As Carlos put it, “It’s a pretty shit fucking recovery.”

Photography: Jamie Leith

15 / Aronui

THE RISE OF THE LOCALLY -MADE PODCAST

that discusses all things mental health, and delves into topics that people don’t always want to talk about. They’ve chatted with the one and only Ashley Bloomfield, and done partnerships with Chow, Nuzest and BeYou. When I asked them about the origin of Learnt My Lesson, it started just as you’d expect it to. Essentially it was a ‘we should definitely start a podcast’ moment. I’ve had those moments too, but these two actually did it and saw some awesome success with over 60,000 downloads since they started in 2020.

“We were just talking one day and thought, someone should definitely be recording us all the time.”

They reached out to another podcast, The Oversharers, who really inspired them and got put in contact with their producer who helped get Learnt My Lesson off the ground.

One of the most successful episodes they released was when they had a chat with Ashley Bloomfield, Mr Press Conference himself. He opened up about his anxiety and how he dealt with being the face that many of us turned to during Covid-19’s first go at us in 2020.

Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her)

In a world where the demand for media is constant, where we can’t eat dinner without watching something on TV because, God forbid, we are alone with our own thoughts for 10 minutes, there are constantly new forms of entertainment and new tools to distract us from the pain of being alive. One of these glorious new forms of media is the podcast.

Some people might compare podcasting to radio, and it’s not an entirely inaccurate point. The key difference is that if you’re listening to a podcast, you really want to be listening to it. It’s different from having your AUX cord break in your car and being forced to listen to the first clear frequency you can find.

It sometimes feels like podcasts get a bad rap, especially when there’s people like Joe Rogan dominating the scene and upsetting all of your dad’s favourite musicians with his misinformation and general bullshit.

This isn’t a Joe Rogan slam piece though, even though it totally could be. It’s important that instead of highlighting the shitty people of the podcast world, that we devote some energy to quality local creators.

One podcast that deserves the hype it gets is Learnt My Lesson. Jess and Sav have been co-hosting the show

They also saw great success with an episode where they discuss their friendship breakup.

“People love a bit of drama,” Sav said.

The official advice from the Learnt My Lesson hosts if you want to start a podcast of your own is to understand the commitment you’re taking on.

“It’s a huge commitment, I mean just listening to your own voice back on tape is hard enough. A lot of people say they want to start podcasts but there’s a really dark statistic about how many actually go for a long period of time and reach success, I think it’s only about 20%,” Jess told Massive.

On what got them over this scary prospect, they say it was a discussion they had before deciding to start the project.

“We were talking and wondering why we would want to listen to us, we would second guess ourselves and wonder why us? But then we thought, why not us?”

Podcasting in Aotearoa has not seen the same huge success that it has overseas, and those making independent continuous podcasts don’t have the same revenue options as big podcasts overseas. Getting into the

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podcast space and actually seeing success is a rare thing, but there are so many excellent podcasts like Learnt My Lesson that discuss issues that impact so many of us.

One of these podcasts is The Hard Way hosted by Molly Blanchard. She has been self-producing her podcast since early 2021. The motto of her show is “out here learning shit the hard way”. She talks about mental health, often focusing on how little men’s mental health is prioritised, and how to get through all the struggles that life throws at you.

“I wanted to make the podcast in the beginning because I’m just generally a really big talker. In the first lockdown I was in a slump and was thinking about how much is going on in the world and I wanted to be able to talk through it and give my opinion on it, and maybe give people someone to lean on while everything was going on.”

appetite out there for people who are open and vulnerable about how tricky life can be. With so much of the media we consume being from the US or overseas, it’s awesome to have local voices who can talk us through issues that are sometimes really specific to the experience of young New Zealanders.

Jess from Learnt My Lesson points out that New Zealand is really behind the curve when it comes to podcasts. The huge market in the US is evidence that people really do want to listen to other people talk, who have something to say.

Essentially, the podcast world is growing and you should get amongst it, because it’s not going anywhere.

Molly keeps wanting to use her podcast to continue inspiring people, as well as have the chance to take her podcast from a hobby into a full-time job.

“I’d need to get paid enough to actually live on, so I hope I can get some kind of sponsorship to turn The Hard Way into more than a hobby and grow it into my day job,” Molly tells Massive.

Molly echoes the sentiment of Jess and Sav, if you think you have something to say you should go for it. She also acknowledges that it is a huge commitment, especially financially.

“It’s either going to work or it’s not, and you’ll only know by going for it. You have to make sure you have enough to talk about to keep people interested, having guests or a co-host will keep the podcast engaging, even if it doesn’t work out, you learn from everything you do and you can use that going forward.”

Molly hopes that her podcast can help people of all ages, but especially those who are in their teens or early twenties.

“I think I’m like this crazy aunt who makes all of these mistakes so you don’t have to. My main point of advice is if you want to do something, just fucking do it. Life is crazy and hard and you should be able to try and go for what you want to achieve.”

Learnt My Lesson and The Hard Way are just two examples of awesome young people taking up space in what is clearly an industry on the rise. There’s a real

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Aiden Wilson (He/Him)

The Conversion of Laws Here’s some insight into what you probably didn’t read in full! Ya might just learn something…

When it comes to matters involving the LGBTQ+ community, it feels like Parliament can take an eternity to pass any bill associated with it.

What is this all about?

Conversion therapy is the umbrella term for any practice which has a common belief that a person’s sexual orientation or gender identity can and should be changed.

Any practice which falls under this umbrella term is incredibly outdated, designed to suppress a person’s rights and feelings about themselves for the sake of another or a group’s ideology.

15 February saw these practices get voted out at the third reading of the Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Bill.

15 February, 2022, saw the third reading and much anticipated “banning” of conversion therapy within Aotearoa, something which many of us hoped would happen for some time now.

As of 19 February, the Bill is law with the exception of “subpart two of Part Two and Part Three”.

The third reading saw an almost unanimous vote to ban, with only eight National MPs being against.

Those against were Simon Bridges, Simeon Brown, Melissa Lee, Todd McClay, Simon O’Connor, Chris Penk, Dr Shane Reti, and Michael Woodhouse.

As a person who is a part of the LGBTQ+ community, it’s a relief to finally see conversion therapy being officially banned.

Which parts are exempt for the time being?

Subpart 2 – Civil Liability Relating to Conversion Practices, and Part 3 – Amendment to Human Rights Act 1993, 63A: Conversion practices.

These sections will not come into effect for another six months.

Subpart 2 states, “A person may make a complaint under the Human Rights Act 1993 alleging that there has been a breach of section 63A of that Act.” Okay, so why does this subpart not come into effect for another six months?

Reading on, we can see exactly why it doesn’t.

Section 63A: Conversion Practices, reads, “It is unlawful for any person to – Perform a conversion practice on any other person; or Arrange for a conversion practice to be performed by any other person.”

I may not be a politician, but to me it looks like this whole bill we’ve voted for, the whole promise of conversion therapy finally becoming a thing of the past, will still be allowed within our country for another six months.

Overall, the outright ban of practices is not official yet.

While that’s the case, the changes in place now could potentially be the most important.

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So, what is in effect now then?

As of 19 February, “A person commits an offence if a person performs a conversion practice on an individual and knows that, or is reckless as to whether, the individual – Is under the age of 18 years; or Lacks, wholly or partly, the capacity to understand the nature, and to foresee the consequences, of decisions in respect of matters relating to their health or welfare.”

So yes, practices being performed on people regarding the parameters outlined above are considered an offence, with conversion practices overall still being legal.

Reading more of Part 2 makes the whole thing a bit easier to understand.

The remainder of this section goes on to state what counts as a person committing an offence under the Bill, and the types of punishment they will face if found guilty of said offence.

But it also shows how the victims of these offences will be affected.

At this current time, the Bill stands to help protect those who could potentially be most vulnerable in the LGBTQ+ community. It is outlined very clearly that the individual who these practices are performed on, consenting or not, is not party to offence.

My initial reaction to the Bill was confusion, misunderstanding the current state of it and being baffled by a six-month wait on a full ban. Reading through it many times, coming to understand how it will help to protect the vulnerable members of our community, gives me so much hope.

It shows how times have passed, that the care for these matters genuinely is there. The Bill is such a massive (lol) win for us.

I could not find any official reason as to why the whole thing isn’t law now, but I speculate it’s due to not wanting to step on the toes of anyone who could be angered at an immediate banning.

Regardless of that six-month delay, conversion practices are heading out the fucking door.

I’d like to close with a statement from a dear friend of mine, one which I feel will resonate with the vast majority reading this article:

Section 10 reassures that “It is not a defence to a charge under section 8 or 9 that—

“We love progress for the queer community, but fuck conversion therapy and fuck Simon Bridges for trying to stop the Bill from passing xx”

(a) the individual on whom the conversion practice was performed, or a person on behalf of that individual, consented to the performance of that practice; or

And if you disagree with this, you can eat my shorts.

(b) the person charged believed that such consent was given.”

If you wish to read the latest bill for yourself, go to https:// www.legislation.govt.nz/bill/government/2021/0056/

Section 11 states clearly that, “A person on whom a conversion practice is performed may not be charged as a party to an offence committed on them under section 8 or 9.”

latest/whole.html#LMS487197 Or go to legislation.govt.nz and find “Conversion Practices Prohibition Legislation Bill, 2021, No56-2”

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Photography by Amelia Radley

Massey University makes $25 Million in profits - what would you do with that much pūtea?

ASSEY ILLIONARIES Mason Tangatatai (He/Him)

MUSA

Disclaimer: This information comes from an anonymous source at Massey University. The profits are currently unaudited, but the audited result is expected to be similar.

It’s sometimes difficult to fathom that universities are forprofit organisations. It’s starting to make sense why you have to fork out $8,000 for courses you’ll forget in less than a year, or why you still have to pay this cost when courses have been restricted by Covid-19 - but that’s a whole other story entirely.

It’s come to Massive’s attention that the Massey University Group has recorded an unaudited profit of over $25M during the 2021 financial year. Even with Covid-19 ravaging the student experience, the University has still managed to ring every last dollar from your feeble little wallets. Is this a surprise? Not really. At the end of the day, Massey University is another business, and although you may gain a qualification at the end of your 3-5 years, you will certainly have to shell out a pretty dime for it.

Since we know the University would only spend a tiny fraction of that money on students, I thought I’d ask your student associations what they would do with $25M in their pockets. The answers probably won’t shock you…

2 / Aruion

MUSA really said fuck it, let’s cover ALL the bases. Marla, President of MUSA, alongside MUSA’s Head of Operations, have presented a generous spread of solutions that need to be funded now, and a whopping amount of purchases that would make time on the Manawatū campus an absolute rager. I love the ambition, and I can shamelessly say this is the first time I’ve ever felt jealous of the Palmy campus.

What we need right now: • A fully funded, free childcare service for all students with children • Increasing the allotted money for grants, and the grant amount limit • Funding laptops for students that need them • Free N95 masks and RAT tests for all!

• Making a MUSA scholarship What we want right now: • Hire personal MUSA Chefs that hand out free lunches each day on the concourse (with all dietary requirements included • Monthly rages with awesome local bands and artists • Buy our building off of Massey. Then use the space downstairs for a café, a food hub, a movie theatre… an indoor pool? We could attach hydro-slides to the building to go from above level 2 • A light rail system for the Manawatu Campus • Develop of a petting zoo to replace the closing Rainbow Springs :( • An on-site brewery and ‘entertainment quarter’ • Purchase the Paeroa ‘L&P Bottle’ and Ohakune ‘Carrot’ for permanent display in the MUSA Lounge (oh, and a larger lounge.)

MAWSA (Massey Wellington Student Association)

ASA

I don’t have enough room to give full commentary on this, but ASA Co-Presidents Ben and Michaela really have y’all backs. Below is a pleasantly well written response by them.

You know your student association is looking out for your best interests when they respond with eight suggestions after I only asked for three. Fiona and Lizzo from MAWSA, are women of the people. Covid-19 relief, free shit for students, hell, they’re even looking out for our mental health. Pop off MAWSA, I’d trust you with my hard-earned money.

25 million dollars. To 99% of the population that’s an unfathomably large number. 25 million dollars is 25 million medium frozen cokes, or enough frozen cokes to last a year (if you can drink 68,000 of them per day that is). Here at the ASA we don’t want to buy 25 million medium frozen cokes, we would use the money to encourage students to spend more time on campus. As most of you may know, the Albany Campus has recently lost our on-campus bar, this would be one of the first things we would do if we had that sweet 25 million worth of student’s money. Make a student bar large enough to host all manner of activities that students want. From your weekly post-lecture $15 jug of beer to the largest toga parties ever recorded.

• Care packages for isolating student. This includes masks, RATs (if possible), Panadol, Strepsils, and information about self isolating/ Covid-19 preventions methods • Free lunches/ BBQs for students • Free buses for students from the train station to Massey • Industrial gcomposter and hire more people for a Wellington sustainability team this would change the infrastructure of Massey waste disposal system • Massey should get more counsellors • MAWSA would get itself a convenience store with books/ stationery and cafe • Free parking for students • Sustainable period products

We would invest in sleep pods so our students could power nap between lectures and hooning those $15 jugs of beer.

Say goodbye to those Gucci bags you’ve got under your eyes and hello to serenity. What’s better than a refreshing nap after years’ worth of sleep deprivation? We would host garden parties on the grassy knolls outside SNW. Imagine kicking back with a cheeky bevvy in the sun while you read some quality columns in Massive.

MASSIVE

Lastly, we would finally get some decent food on campus.

No more Food for Thought, with their overpriced, half assed meals and sandwiches. I’m talking mouth-watering burgers, delightful deli meats, pasta, potatoes any way you want them (potato fritters slap so hard, amiright?)! As students, we need fuel for our lectures and late nights. As a fellow foodie, my heart breaks every time I see one of you sorry souls destroying your tastebuds with their food.

Let’s support the locals by bringing our hospo heroes on campus and celebrating glorious food. Cheeky plug goes out to my partner who cooks the dopest smoked meats as well as home-made BBQ sauce and YumYum sauce. Check out Mum’s Brew Kitchen to see when we’re next in your hood.

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This was a fun one - what would I do with $25M? When asked this question my mind instantly darted towards being a menace. I understand the importance of charity, and I’m sure I would donate a decent amount, but let’s just imagine the money is solely for yours truly.

Firstly, I would fund the student magazine to create a larger scale operation. I would increase the number of contributors, the number of page sizes, and overall, the quality of Massive Magazine. Massive is a gateway for students looking to break into journalism and design. I know how hard it is for students to get that first job out of university, so that would be my first port-of-call.

Secondly, I would shout Massive BYOs each week. Staff would only have to bring themselves, and an $8 bottle of wine - I’ll supply the rest.

Lastly, and where the bulk of my money would go, is paying my team more than living wage. These writers are genuinely hard workers, and a bit more pūtea in their pockets would go a long way. If you haven’t already noticed this is another shameless promo on why you should enquire about contributing to Massive Magazine in 2022.

If we indeed are magically gifted a fat wad of $25M within the next two weeks. I will commit to these promises x

Drag King Hugo Grrrl says “It’s Time” to Step Away from Drag Sammy Carter (She/Her)

After almost seven years of drag, the iconic Drag King Hugo Grrrl is semi-retiring to find his love for the arts again. George Fowler, known as Wellington’s Drag King Hugo Grrrl, announced to his 14.9k followers on Instagram that he would be leaving drag for the foreseeable future, instead working at South Pacific Pride in Auckland, crafting, playing with pets, and just being ‘boring’.

Hugo told Massive,

“I can’t wait to take a break. I’ll definitely make weird art and costumes again but I really wanna take a break so I can fall in love with that again.”

Hugo is a household name in Wellington drag, performing, producing and writing. He was the first trans man and drag king to compete on a drag reality show, winning House of Drag in 2018.

After so much grinding, a well-deserved break is needed. “I wanna take the hustle out of it and have an assessment of the bits of it that I love,” Hugo said. “I will definitely do the odd gig; I will play dress up till I die.”

Hugo is now working for South Pacific Pride as Associate Director of Pride Pledge and Winter Pride in Auckland. He said his role is quite broad, “I desperately need that, from going from the mess and variety of art to sitting at a desk, having the variety is really important.” Other than work, Hugo is excited to get stuck into some crafts even though “none of it is good.”

“If you monetise your hobbies, you never truly enjoy them.” Hugo said Covid-19 had impacted his drag career too much and led him to semi-retiring. Many of his projects weren’t able to happen, including an Auckland season of The Glitter Garden and a custom burlesque show for Wellington on a Plate.

“When you pour your heart and soul into things and it doesn’t come through, it’s time to assess what’s serving you.”

“It’s more than just linguistically difficult, it’s just heartbreaking. It’s really difficult to have hope or excitement for shows.”

“It was super hard before but still worth it cause the art was awesome, but now there’s just no semblance of financial [or emotional] security.”

His last project was The Shit Show: A Completely Crappy Cabaret, performed at Fringe Festival’s opening weekend. “It was a good way to go out.”

The show was “a heavy commentary on how things are going cause the last few years have been a shit show,” Hugo said. At the last performance, Hugo was “very ready to go … I got off stage and was like ‘yup I’m definitely ready, I’m tired’.” While he is ready for a rest, drag has given Hugo so many memories.

He couldn’t pick one highlight of his drag career, but a favourite was performing The Glitter Garden at Circa Theatre. The audience was usually a mix of ages but one morning show was only school kids.

“It was a mess of a show, they were so into it and so loud. There’s a point in the show where I have the most melodramatic campy tantrum and I’m like ‘no I give up I’m not doing it anymore’.” Usually, the audience would play along by saying “no don’t,” said Hugo. But at this show, a “chant started, they all go ‘don’t give up, don’t give up’”.

“It was pretty magic.” Hugo felt drag has done “everything” for his identity over the past seven years.

“The drag to trans pipeline is really real cause drag is a really safe place to figure some shit out and have fun while you do it.”

“I don’t desperately need drag like I did once upon a time.”

26 / Aronui

RED BULL PAPER WINGS.

WHO CAN REALISE DA VINCI’S DREAM OF FLYING?

NATIONAL QUALIFIERS 14th - 22nd MARCH 2022 Calling all paper engineers and aerialists for the paper plane world championship.

Sign up now and compete with your very own paper plane for longest distance, longest airtime and aerobatics.

Find out more at: Photography by Amelia Radley

redbullpaperwings.com

CONFESSIONS Everyone loves a scandalous confessions page.

You’re never sure if what people saying is fake or not, but that’s what make these pages great. Massey Confessions is a facebook page based from the mighty Manawatū.

These legends anonymously post unfiltered content from the very students you see in your classes every day. Below are a selection of some of the finest confessions over the summer, with a sprinkle of Massive commentary.

Go and give the page a follow, you won’t regret it. ch It’s not mu

ellington x better in W

ifferent.

ilt d ply put, bu nts are sim e d tu s y lm ?

Pa Can I join

vic piece of ad ALUABLE V IN n a is This students.

poken @ nts have s The stude too

a musa, kind

valid

29 / Rangitaki

e for all

worst of the worst

movie reviews Every week I’ll be watching the worst rated movies on Rotten Tomatoes so you don’t have to.

I’ll be doing one every week until the final issue where I’ll review the worst movie ever made (according to a random article I found). What are my qualifications you ask? I took Introduction to Media Studies in my first year and got a B average, so I think I know what I’m talking about.

I’m going to watch each of these movies and decide whether it is rightfully on the worst movies of all-time list, based on my expert opinion.

This week I’ll be reviewing the 23rd worst movie ever made, according to Rotten Tomatoes. This beautiful bit of cinema is from 1991, a sequel to a film I’ve never seen. The Highlander 2: The Quickening is a sci-fi film set in 2024, AKA two years from now. I would like to reiterate that I have not seen any other films in the series, so I am straight up going in blind to this. That being said, it’s a deeply confusing movie.

They managed to score Sean Connery for this movie which is an exceptional achievement. From what I can gather from the plot, there’s an old guy who has lost his immortality (which I’m assuming he had in the first movie? I don’t know, I really should have watched the original.) The old man is played by Christopher Lambert, who is actually thirty-three at the time. Which means, in just over 10 years I will be considered old and also lose my immortality.

Elena McIntyre-Reet (She/Her)

Basically no spoilers but he goes to a far off planet to get his immortality back. Woo hoo.

This is going to be a short review, mostly because I had no idea what was going on and I’m not going to pretend I did.

BUT there were some cool fight scenes that were pretty epic for ‘91, and did I mention they bagged Sean Connery?

According to the two minutes of research I did before I watched this movie, the quality of this movie is hotly debated in the cinephile community. Some people think it’s awesome, some people think it’s dog shit. Now feels like a good time to say that I actually don’t know what makes a good movie. Normally, if a movie is good then it has to be under two hours long. Any longer and it doesn’t keep my attention. For example, Shrek 1, 2, 3 and 4 all sit around the one and a half hour mark, which means they are excellent films. Highlander 2 comes in just under the wire at one hour and 57 minutes.

Would I watch this movie if I hadn’t accidentally committed to watching a shit movie for every Massive issue this year? No, probably not. I’m rating it higher than The Disappointments Room and much, much lower than Shrek one through four.

Does it deserve to be on the worst movies list? Yes. It was confusing and also made someone that was thirty-three seem elderly, not a fan.

30 / Rangitiak

Te Reo and NZSL Words of the Week Revitalising te reo Māori and NZSL is of paramount importance. Take a few minutes out of your day to learn and memorise these words.

It's the least we can do.

ipurangi (internet)

ātaauha (beautiful)

pene (pen)

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SOLICITED ADVICE

Solicited advice is a weekly column where an underqualified anonymous guru answers the questions you want answered. This won’t include the stock-standard, sugar-coated advice you’re used to hearing – we’re talking about the truths that are REALLY on your mind.

How to be a good flatmate?

To be a good flat mate you need to simply not care. Your flat mate tips your food out of a pan into a tupperware while you’re cooking because they need the pan - simply don’t care. Flat mate wakes you up at the crack of dawn when they come home from town in an MD infused rage - simply don’t care. Flat mate spontaneously moves out because their “crip” boyfriend is staying over every night - simply don’t care. This is your origin story. Conduct yourself like you are a god and after all God is (allegedly) kind and forgiving. As I’m sure you can imagine, I’ve been a mean, petty flat mate and it’s not worth the hype.

Instead, dunk on people by just being inexplicably nice - it will make for good memoir content and you get to know that you’re better than everyone else.

How to stay motivated?

Imagine how you don’t want to be and then strive to be the opposite. Not wanting something can be a more powerful emotion than wanting it. And of course, be motivated by your superiority complex. I’m motivated by not wanting to be a stupid, lazy, slobby idiot… so I’m not x

How to call my parents out for being racist?

Just do it. You shouldn’t need a pep talk on how to call out racism - you hearing racist things being said by your parents will never compare to being subject to racism. In terms of practical techniques: play into their insecurities. Tell them that no one will buy from their business and they won’t ever get a promotion if they’re racist. Tell them that they don’t have friends because people think they’re racist. Tell them that they look lazy for not educating themselves. Tell them they look stupid and embarassing. Find a vulnerability and bloody pick away at that racist scab.

Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered? DM Massive Magazine on Instagram and look out for next week’s issue.

Also, follow us while you’re at it x 32 / iRangtk

...

Photography by Amelia Radley

Horoscopes Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Channel your inner creative, or your inner wordsmith and submit a piece of work to that trendy publication, Massive Magazine.

They will REALLY appreciate you :)

Procrastination be gone! Get ahead of your classes now, before you’re caught in the vicious last-minute cycle of Adderall and trying to hand in your assignments an hour before their due.

You’ve had ramen and/or peanut butter toast five separate times this O-Week. Your arteries are screaming for a leafy green. Please listen.

Website of the week: https://www. massivemagazine.org.nz/

Your website of the week: https:// pomofocus.io/

Website of the week: https://www. hellofresh.co.nz/

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Take a step out of your comfort zone, which means leaving the house. The outside world is actually kinda cool.

I know you are trying your best to take notes during your lectures.

But for the love of God, please stop typing so loudly.

All I have to say is, what the fuck are you doing? It’s time to reassess those life choices and do some deep reflection.

Website of the week: https://www. geoguessr.com/

Website of the week: https://www. apple.com/nz/ipad/

Website of the week: https://www. how-to-find-yourself.com

Cancer Life is hitting you hard and fast at the moment. Just know you’ve got a support team behind you who are more than willing to help. You got this!

Website of the week: https://www. positiveaffirmations.com

Libra

Leo It’s about drive, it’s about power, we stay hungry, we devour. That is all.

Website of the week: https://www.youtube.com/ watch?v=IqgERtJEgu8

Scorpio

Virgo You fucked your flatmate last week.

There is a 50% chance one of you will have a mental breakdown and move out before the semester break.

Website of the week: https:// www.trademe.co.nz/a/property/ residential/rent

Sagittarius

The stars are aligning, 2022 is your year to break your C+ average and ascend into the B grade range!

You worked hard this week. Kick up your feet, crack a cold one, and let the good memories of simpler times take over your brain.

Is it Covid… Is it the fresher flu… Is it herpes... The mystery bug flying through your nervous system will only last up to 10 days. I hope.

Website of the week: https://www. masseyhonours.com

Website of the week: https://www. poptropica.com

Website of the week: https://www. masseystudenthealth.com

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MASSIVE_MAG MASSIVE

ODA T Y

MASSIVE

Send us snaps to get featured in next weeks edition

Break reaktime time B

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Geological man named Dwanye Spotted big cat Otago student magazine The amount of kg’s added during o-week Beautiful, or handsome in te reo How old is Massive (to the year) Used for shaving Massey student radio station _ on the cob NBL covers what sport Word that fits in front of trek, gaze and wars To move fast, also a popular white girl car Go to sleep over winter Watercress, pork bones, potatoes Console you have to move alot to play Merriam Webster’s 2020 word of the year 2nd best paint company

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Quick sleep Ancient The first ‘d’ in ADHD All I do is ___ Te reo for cold What they burn in Dunners Captain of the Blackcaps Square root of 81 Face part to boop, cutely Famous student meal, only takes 2 minutes New Zealand NRL team Orange and black cat Condom company Alcoholic beverage brewed in Mangatainoka Largest mammal Scungiest bourbon and cola RTD

Word Wheel

The target is to create as many words as possible from the letters within the Word Wheel You must use the middle letter.

Sudoku

Get Lost

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MICHAELA ASA

Kia ora kotou, I hope you have somewhat settled into uni life. By now you should have scavenged enough free shit from your students’ associations to keep you vibing. It’s that time of the year when you are bright eyed and bushy tailed, ready for any challenge that comes your way. Which brings me to my next point, our by-election!

Do you feel motivated when it comes to students issues? Are you wanting to go head-to-head with the Massey hierarchy?

Then get nominated for our March byelection and have your voice heard!

MARLA MUSA So, you’re in your second week now huh? Here’s hoping you’ve been frothing all your courses (and aren’t too overwhelmed just yet).

If you are overwhelmed, try to organise what you need to study, and when. It sounds simple but can make a big difference in preventing academic burnout (which is a real thing by the way!). Scheduling time for chilling out and having fun is important too.

On another note… MUSA Board nominations are now open! Does governance intrigue you? Do you want to get involved in making decisions and campaigning for students? Well, there are five positions up for grabs!

These positions are for the rest of 2022 and would mean you would get to/have to hang out with yours truly (for board meetings, whakawhanaugatanga, and the occasional MUSA event). Please check us out on our Facebook for more info, it’s important mahi!

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ENTS Fiona and Lizzo MAWSA

Hey hey hey! Welcome to week two whānau!

If you’re new to Massey, we hope you took advantage of the O Week events, free stuff and your Massey guides. If you’re a second year or more, welcome back soldier (also feel free to take advantage of the free stuff and events <3) As you may already know, Covid-19 is spreading like wildfire, so make sure that you’re scanning in, wearing a mask, getting vaccinated and social distancing! If you have caught the bastard, make sure you have someone who can bring you the survival necessities and stay home!!!

ESIDE Over 50% of NZ tertiary students are “mature” students and those statistics mirror Massey University’s student population. University was once a rite of passage from High School to a career, with it mandatory to attend classes on campus. Now with the option of studying online, we are now seeing the demographic of NZ university students now including school leavers, parents, those with disabilities, students studying overseas, and even those that have retired wanting to learn something new. With a new era, and evolving technology the possibilities for education and knowledge are endless.

Stephanie M@D

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