Issuu

The Jessie Davidson Hall of Residence

All in all, it sounds like the perfect location.

Basically, what I’m hearing is that Massey’s Wellington first-years need a new hall. And, frankly, I reckon I’m the girl for the job.

My hall would be pretty exclusive. Every potential resident would have to meet with me for a personal vibe check. There are no fixed criteria for who gets in. They just have to vibe with me. Otherwise, it simply won’t work out. Sorry.

e lost Whanake Hall to Victoria University at the end of 2024, and Kāinga Rua was temporarily shut this year after discovering a black mould problem.

Wellington’s Massey campus is down to just one hall of residence this year: The Cube.

Ideally, we’d rent out the Governor-General’s house. It’s in a pretty ideal location! Just a five-minute walk from campus, with plenty of room for first-years to frolick. Twelve hectares, to be precise.

Actually, wait. I’ve just changed my mind as I’m typing this.

The house itself has bedrooms, a ballroom, conservatory, kitchens, study nooks and more. It even has a swimming pool, tennis court, squash court and a Second World War-era bomb shelter—a perfect place to store my ex.

Dinners would be themed, and everyone would have to dress up. Mondays would be ‘Book Character Day’, Tuesdays would be ‘Dress as Your Favourite Meme’, and so forth. Anyone who doesn’t dress up would be publicly shamed in front of the entire dining hall.

Editorial

Everyone has to have watched the entire Twilight saga to get in. That’s the one rule.

NEWS KAWEPŪRONGO Electoral Commission Comes to Massey Campuses

Each Party’s Plan for NZ’s Supermarket Duopoly

FEATURES AHUATANGA

The Rise and Fall of Traphouse Mansion

Massey Professor Criticised Over Misleading Company Names

Renters Rights and Wronged

Falun Gong Club Established at Massey

3 6

Students Unsure About Massey’s New Strategy Labour Promises to Cut 10% Off Student Loans

4 7

The Trend Cycle of Bedroom Past

Massive is largely funded by Te Tira Ahu Pae and the student services levy, however, remains editorially independent.

NZ Media Council: Those with a complaint towards the publication should first complain in writing to: editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

Disclaimer: The views presented within this publication do not necessarily represent the views of the editor.

If unsatisfied with the response, complaints should be made to the NZ Media Council: info@mediacouncil.org.nz

50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10

On the first Saturday of every month, we’d all have a ball in the ballroom. Just because. My RAs would consist of Trisha Paytas, Brittany Broski, my year 11 English teacher and Keke Palmer. I’m not sure what qualifications they’d need, but I think between the four of them, we’d have it covered. I’m not entirely sure what my job is. But I just think I’d be a fun person to hang out with, so I’ll just come chill. So Massey... keen to fund my passion project?

1 50 49 48 47 46 45 44 43 42 41 40 39 38 37 36 35 34 33 32 31 30 29 28 27 26 25 24 23 22 21 20 19 18 17 16 15 14 13 12 11 10

CENTREFOLD

COLUMNS TĪWAE Gig Guide with Radio Control

PANGA

Mother Massive

23 30

Sexcapades

The Making of a Māori Coloniser

Page 1 Designed with Stitch Fiddle

Pineapples to Treehouses: Ranking Childhood TV Homes

HOROSCOPES

20 27

PUZZLES

On the fence about who to vote for this election? The Government should invest more in public transport and cycleways. Naaah, private vehicle transport needs support!

Find out which parties think like you.

onthefence.co.nz

Live, Work and Discover Japan!

2027 NZ JET Programme Applications OPEN NOW!

For queries about the programme or application process, contact us at:

Japan Information and Cultural Centre jet@wl.mofa.go.jp (04) 472 7807

MASSIVE MAGAZINE

MONDAY OCTOBER 5TH

Massey Professor Criticised Over Misleading Company Names Jessie Davidson • SHE/HER

Massey University professor is facing A questions over a series of private immigration organisations whose officialsounding names have raised concerns among industry professionals.

A recent Stuff article revealed that Massey professor of Management, Jens Mueller, created several private organisations whose names could give the impression that they are official, government-recognised immigration bodies. These include the Education Counsellor Authority of New Zealand (ECANZ), the Chartered Immigration Lawyer and Advisor Institute, King’s Bench Chambers, the Council of Immigration Advisers and Lawyers, Immigration Council New Zealand and the Licensed Immigration Adviser Association. None of these organisations are government regulators, despite names such as ‘Authority’, ‘Council’ and ‘Licensed’ making it sound otherwise. Critics are concerned that vulnerable migrants, particularly those seeking

immigration advice from overseas, could mistake Mueller’s organisations or their accreditations for governmentbacked agencies. Former immigration minister Tuariki Delamere is among those who has raised concerns about the organisations. Delamere told Stuff he was concerned their cumulative effect could create “a false impression of official recognition”. He also said the word ‘chartered’ could be misleading because it generally suggests Royal or Parliamentary recognition. New Zealand’s official Immigration Advisers Authority (IAA) regulates immigration advisers operating in New Zealand. However, offshore immigration advisers are not regulated in the same way, which Mueller says is a gap his organisations are trying to address. Stuff reported that at least two complaints had been lodged with the IAA about Mueller by other advisers. Neither progressed.

Massive Magazine

PHOTO CREDIT: Massey University

The Commerce Commission said it had received two concerns about King’s Bench Chambers and one about ECANZ. While it had not taken action, it said it was reassessing the matters in light of the information raised by Stuff. Mueller told Stuff that the fact complaints had not progressed showed they held no weight.

ISSUE #23 He has dismissed his critics as “mouthfoamers” jealous of his achievements, and said his organisations are part of an effort to improve the immigration industry. He also claimed to have the support of many immigration advisers. Mueller is an executive director of Massey’s Business School and was made an Officer of the New Zealand Order of Merit in 2026. He holds two doctorates, including a PhD in Governance and a doctorate in Law, alongside a Master of Business Administration, a Master of Advanced Management, an LLM in International Taxation and two graduate diplomas. He has also advised multinational companies including Coca-Cola and Unilever. Mueller said he “couldn’t care less” if other immigration advisers were upset.

HOUSING “None of the things I was involved with are magic… everything that was done, everyone else could have done themselves. Nobody else had the guts to do it.” The controversy has also reached Reddit, where past and present Massey students have discussed the Stuff investigation. Some commenters criticised Mueller and described his actions as “sleazy”. One Reddit user wrote: “I’ll give the dude props, he knows how to play the system and make that $$$$. However EVERYTHING about this dude comes across as sleazy as shit.” Another wrote: “Doctor Doctor Jens Mueller has always been a sleaze bag.” A third commenter accused Massey of “endorsing a gigantic scammer”.

In a response to Massive, a Massey University spokesperson said the university was aware of the concerns raised in the Stuff article, but stressed that “the organisations referred to are independent of Massey”. “Massey’s role is to support academic activity and engagement by our academics. Questions about the organisations’ names, accreditation or operations are appropriately directed to the organisations themselves.” The spokesperson said Massey expected all staff “to be clear about their roles and affiliations and to comply with all relevant legal and professional requirements”. Massive approached Mueller for comment but he did not respond.

Falun Gong Club Established at Massey Jessie Davidson • SHE/HER

he controversial spiritual practice, Falun Gong, has now been established as an official Te Tira Ahu Pae club on Massey University’s Manawatū campus under the name, the MUM Falun Dafa Group. On Te Tira Ahu Pae’s website, the club described themselves as a “spiritual practice that promotes relaxation and wellbeing through gentle exercises and self-cultivation”. It stated that it aimed to help students relax, connect and bond through group exercises while also learning about traditional Chinese cultural activities. However, Te Tira Ahu Pae has had a history with Falun Gong affiliated groups. In 2024, an upset Chinese student approached Massive after they spotted a poster advertising Falun Gong on Massey’s Wellington campus. The posters were displayed on a Massey Students’ Association bulletin board and had the MAWSA (Massey at Wellington Student’s Association—now known as Te Tira Ahu Pae) stamp of approval.

Falun Gong’s leader, Li Hongzhi, has claimed that he has supernatural powers and can cure illness. In his book, Zhaun Falun, Hongzhi has called homosexual behaviour “repulsive”, and his teachings have suggested that mixed race people don’t have a place in heaven.

“However, upon further research, we do not support the homophobic and racist acts of this religion.” The association said in the future, they would do their best to ensure that there is nothing offensive on their notice boards or platforms.

The 2024 posters around campus advertised Falun Gong free teaching classes with the title ‘A Happier Healthier You’.

Jump to 2026, and a new group associated with Falun Gong has now been established as an official Massey University club.

At the time, the student, who wished to remain anonymous, said that by approving the poster, Te Tira Ahu Pae supported bigoted messages: “It doesn’t exactly preach of diversity and tolerance.”

To become a club, you only need six student members to be affiliated with Te Tira Ahu Pae. Once you’ve gathered all the necessary documents—an AGM document, a membership list and a signed club constitution—club coordinators then pass them onto a board of student representatives.

Upon Massive’s enquiry at the time, Te Tira Ahu Pae was apologetic and removed the posters. They said, “From the outset, it appeared to cultivate concepts such as self-care and wellbeing.

Massive Magazine

This board then reviews and decides whether they’ll approve the club officially. Massive approached Te Tira Ahu Pae, it’s president and the MUM Falun Dafa Group for comment.

NEWS

KAWEPŪRONGO

Students Unsure About Massey’s New Strategy Ellice Lawrie • SHE/HER

assey University’s Strategy announced in August this year sets out Massey’s plan for the next four years. However, students have said that they feel in the dark about the strategy. Grace Byrne, a second-year Communications student, said that she and those around her did not feel represented in the strategy. “Generally, I feel like the consensus is that students don’t really know about it or feel represented.” Because students are the ones most directly affected by the university’s strategy Byrne said that it is important that students feel as though their voices are being heard. “I think students should be the number one point of contact for what’s working and what’s not because they are the ones that are affected by it.”

Byrne said the AI aspect of the strategy highlighted how students’ opinions were not being reflected. While she understood that AI within universities is a complicated topic, she did not agree with the Massey’s plan to implement it more into courses. “The whole point of university is using your brain and thinking for yourself. So, the fact Massey is implementing AI strategies feels kinda counterproductive to me.” Second-year Communications student, Scarlett Uhler, was also unaware about the strategy. Because of this, she felt that Massey hadn’t communicated the strategy adequately to students. “It’s good to know what is going on with your school and what changes are being made, and then what changes you can add your input on,” Uhler said.

A Massey University spokesperson said the making of the strategy included input from student drop-in sessions as well as other sources. “Massey’s new strategy was informed by a range of feedback and perspectives gathered from 2025 onwards.” “The strategy sets out the university’s long-term direction and responds to the opportunities and challenges facing higher education, including the impact of AI. These areas will be explored in more detail as we translate the strategy into action across the university.” Massey said they informed students about the strategy through their student newsletter on Wednesday, September 9.

Labour Promises to Cut 10% Off Student Loans, But Students Aren’t Convinced Josie Maddox and Jessie Davidon • SHE/HER

he Labour Party has promised to write off 10 percent of student loan balances for current and future New Zealand-based graduates to encourage Kiwis to stay in Aotearoa. However, some students aren’t convinced that this is enough to keep them here.

If elected, Labour leader Chris Hipkins announced that graduates who didn’t benefit from fees free, and are still paying off their student loan, will have 10 percent taken off their debt on April 1 next year.

Massive Magazine

For current and future students, they would get this cut after staying in Aotearoa for three years once they finished studying. And for graduates who owe $2,000 or less, Labour promised to “wipe it off completely”.

ISSUE #23 “Student debt can follow people for years, making it harder to save for a home, start a family or simply get ahead,” Hipkins said. “We want to make it easier for our graduates—be it nurses and healthcare workers, electricians, or social workers—to stay and build a future in New Zealand.” However, Massey University student, Owen, didn’t think this policy would make much of a difference. “It’s definitely incentivising. But ... if people are going to move, they’re going to move,” Owen said. “In the grand scheme of things, if people are going to make more money overseas, what difference is 10 percent going to make?” He compared the proposed debt cut to “a drop in the ocean. Like, it’s not going to make ... a big difference”. Massey student Sophia agreed, saying: “If there weren’t opportunities and my career became stagnant, I see why people leave. I’m not sure if 10 percent off my student loans would stop that.”

HOUSING Instead of cutting student debt, Sophia said: “Any time the government can give people more jobs and opportunities, it’s obviously going to keep people here.” Student Gemma echoed this sentiment. While she understood what Labour’s policy is trying to achieve, Gemma believed that the government needed to support other areas to make a real difference. “I also feel like we should be focusing on treating them [Kiwi graduates] better and paying them better, rather than incentivising them in other ways.” However, Labour is certain that the policy will keep graduates in Aotearoa. Labour’s tertiary spokesperson, Shanan Halbert, said that the policy would see “graduates move forward sooner ... and a better chance to build their lives here in New Zealand”. “People have done the hard work to get a qualification. They shouldn’t have to spend years watching their student loan barely move.

“Labour will cut that debt and give people a bit more freedom to get on with their lives.” Over five years, the policy was expected to cost $538.4 million. The majority of it would be spent in the first year when historical fees would be forgiven in April. National’s campaign chair, Simeon Brown, said the policy was another expensive handout that will pile taxes onto hardworking Kiwis. “Tradies, farmers, truck drivers and other working Kiwis will be footing the bill so lawyers and other high earners with large student loans can benefit from another handout from Chris Hipkins,” Brown said. “Despite what Chris Hipkins may believe, there is no magic wand that makes debt disappear.” Brown believed that Aotearoa already had a generous student support system, and student who borrow from taxpayer should be expected to pay it back. “That’s only fair to the millions of Kiwis who work hard and pay their taxes.”

Electoral Commission Comes to Massey Campuses Milly Matthews • SHE/HER

s the election nears, the Electoral Comission is aiming to drive up student enrolment numbers at the Wellington and Manawatū Massey University campuses.

The lunch will include free Redbull, prizes, and a free lunch. The team behind the political alignment quiz, On the Fence, will also be in attendance.

They will be coming to the Wellington Campus on October 6, 7, 13, 15, and 21, and to Manawatū on October 8.

Isaac said On the Fence will be there so “people can get some help if they are confused on what parties they align with”.

Te Tira Ahu Pae’s Wellington clubs and events coordinator, Hannah Isaac, has planned the Electoral Commission events for Wellington’s campus—such as the upcoming voting lunch on October 6.

According to The Post, an estimated 440,692 people aged 18- to 24-year-olds are eligible to vote in this year’s general election. However, only 61 percent are enrolled.

“The voting lunch will be our biggest push to get enrolments, and the following pop-ups will hopefully catch remaining students,” Isaac said.

Some experts, like Victoria University’s Dr Lara Greaves, feared that the youth voting turnout may be as low as 45 percent.

Massive Magazine

But many Massey students who are already enrolled, like Callum Greenhough, said they look forward to voting. “I’ve had enough of the coalition. I want a government that’s actually going to look out for the minority and the people that actually need help rather than just the big rich [people].” He said that the Electoral Commission coming to campuses was “definitely a good thing”. “I know a lot of people still haven’t enrolled to vote, and I’d be tempted to march them down there when they show up. I’m hoping it will encourage a lot of people. I think it’s important.” If students can’t attend the events, they can still enrol online through vote.nz any time before October 25.

NEWS

KAWEPŪRONGO

Each Party’s Plan for NZ’s Supermarket Duopoly Maya Trotman • SHE/HER

The Green Party On September 6, the Green Party announced KiwiMart, a government owned supermarket chain that would lower food prices and break up Aotearoa’s supermarket duopoly. Speaking to OneNews, co-leader Chlöe Swarbrick said greater competition is needed to bring down grocery prices.   “Two companies control what almost everyone in this country eats, and they take about a million dollars a day in excess profit out of our shopping baskets. That is money that should be in people’s pockets,” Swarbrick said.

stores. As a result, small grocers could buy stock from wherever they choose, rather than from their competition. The party would also remove anticompetitive rules that stops small stores, like Four Square, from lowering their prices.

The National Party If reelected, National would force Foodstuffs to split into two supermarket chains under the New World and Pak’n Save brands.

“That is how shoppers get a better deal.”

PHOTO CREDIT: RNZ

The Labour Party

Labour guaranteed grocers the right to buy stock from any wholesaler and stop supermarkets from charging hidden or unexpected fees to suppliers.    This means that supermarket chains would have to run their wholesale supply businesses independently from their retail

Stuff reported that party leader, David Seymour, said lower grocery costs will come by removing planning and regulatory barriers that make it difficult for new supermarkets to be built.

“A Labour Government will crack down on big companies ripping you off, and we’ll take immediate action on grocery prices,” Labour leader Chris Hipkins said.

Finance minister, Nicola Willis, said that this would introduce more competition in the market “on price, specials, range and service”.

If elected, the Labour party promised to make the supermarket duopoly, Foodstuffs and Woolworths, break up their retail and wholesale businesses.

regulatory barriers, hoping to encourage new competitors to enter the market.

PHOTO CREDIT: RNZ

“A new entrant or smaller grocer could get approval for a full rollout of stores and warehouses within months, not years.”

NZ First NZ First have promised to introduce legislation which would break up Foodstuffs into two nationwide cooperative brands: one for New World and Four Square, and another for Pak’n Save. This would put two brands into competition with Woolworths New Zealand.

PHOTO CREDIT: RNZ

However, National would only go ahead with this policy if it was approved by the Commerce Commission.

In a press release, NZ First said: “We will also address the supermarket giants’ stranglehold over who gets access to the shelf and who doesn’t. When they control the pathway from farm to shelf, they control the price.”

The ACT Party ACT has said they’re against government intervention solutions. Instead, they want to approach the duopoly through PHOTO CREDIT: RNZ

Massive Magazine

WORDS BY ELLICE LAWRIE • SHE/HER

ART BY BRIANNA GRAPES • SHE/HER

47 Dixon Street: The office building, turned illegal flat, turned music hub, grew into Wellington’s infamous Trap House Mansion (THM). The mansion, which operated as an illegal flat for older music creatives, a studio and a gig venue, quickly grew a reputation. It was a renowned party flat, a place for young musicians to record music and, depending on who you asked, a “drug dungeon party house”. Most importantly, it was a place where Wellington’s music scene could thrive. 10

ut behind the music, parties and DIY creativity was a living situation that was, by all accounts, far from conventional—and potentially dangerous. More than a year after THM was shut down, its mythology hasn’t gone anywhere. Rumours about the mansion’s darker underbelly still circulate through Wellington: a four-level apartment with only one working tap; ‘business’ meetings held in a bathroom stall; questionable age-gap relationships; and living conditions that sound more like a nightmare than a home. But where does the myth end and the reality begin? And what actually happened the night it all went wrong? In the end, it wasn’t the questionable living conditions or the alleged toxic environment that brought the Trap House Mansion era to an end. It was a fire extinguisher. It was August 2025 when THM hosted its last hurrah—although nobody knew it at the time.

Massive Magazine

Features • Āhuatanga Attendees that night recall poor organisation, an immature crowd and a series of unfortunate events that began when someone decided to play with a fire extinguisher.

But despite the risks and alleged problems inside THM, Nishikawa says that, at its core, the mansion brought something valuable to Wellington’s music scene.

“It was also an accessible place for people to play … That experimental rap transitioning into DJ music isn’t super accessible. So, a lot of those people wouldn’t be able to play at San Fran.”

The resulting cloud of powder set off 47 Dixon Street’s smoke alarms. But the retired office buildings were interconnected, meaning the alarms in neighbouring buildings were triggered too.

In his view, THM was more than a flat with unusual living conditions. It was filling a need for third spaces— something he says has become increasingly important as more gig venues close across Aotearoa.

THM was never a traditional venue. That was its charm and, arguably, part of its danger.

Drunk and high, mansion attendees sheepishly piled out onto Courtenay Place as the fire brigade arrived. The illegal living situation came to light, and following an inspection from the building’s new owner, the tenants were evicted.

“Because those venues are closing down, people are looking for places to express themselves and finding their own places to express that,” Nishikawa says.

THM’s DIY nature appealed to musicians, Film and Theatre student at Victoria University, creatives and music lovers alike. Ryo Nishikawa, was at THM that night. He “It’s not a traditional music venue, even had the notorious fire extinguisher fired so there was a sense of there being directly at his face. something a bit naughty.” And perhaps that was part of the appeal. There was freedom in a space that didn’t operate by the rules of a traditional venue. But there was also risk. For Massey University graduate Tallulah Wilson-Brown, who also attended THM’s final night, the chaos didn’t erase the creativity she saw in the space. “It was just cool that people were paving their own creative market. It was a cool space, they had cool lighting, good sound. It’s kinda exciting.” Across Aotearoa, music venues are closing. Auckland’s Neck of the Woods, Wellington’s Red Square and Christchurch’s Hide Club are among the venues that have shut their doors, while opportunities for emerging musicians continue to become harder to find. So perhaps it’s no surprise that young people are creating their own. Wilson-Brown says THM gave musicians an opportunity to perform who might otherwise have struggled to get a foot in the door.

Massive Magazine

It existed in the space between a flat, a studio, a party house and a music venue, without necessarily having the infrastructure or safeguards of any of them. But THM wasn’t an isolated phenomenon. Across Wellington, flat gigs, bunker raves and DIY events have begun filling the gaps left behind by traditional venues. For young creatives facing an economy where affording a place to live is difficult enough, having a place to live and a place to perform can feel impossible. So, they make their own. Issue houses and DIY events like Trap House Mansion are emerging across the country, creating spaces where musicians and creatives can experiment outside the traditional structures of Aotearoa’s music industry. There is something exciting about that.

But there is also something unsettling about a music scene having to build itself in the cracks left behind by a lack of affordable, accessible spaces. THM may have been shut down, but the need that created it hasn’t gone anywhere. If anything, it has only grown. Massive reached out to former residents of Trap House Mansion for comment, but no one replied.

WORDS BY JESSIE DAVIDSON • SHE/HER

We asked Massey University students for their flatting horror stories to see if their renters rights had been wronged. Here is Massive’s completely unofficial opinion based on Google searches...

Whilst flatting on Cuba Street last year a man pulled his pants down and shot projectile diarrhea across our gate and on the path to our flat. Our landlord ignored all emails and there is still a lump of shit there to this day. Okay, so... this is really gross. And quite funny...

My landlord allowed a known criminal and crack user to stay at my flat. He then did a lot of things that made us feel extremely unsafe and we even had to call the police on him. We sent him several emails regarding his behavior and it took him a month and a half to reply :) thankfully he got his shit together and crackie is out! Oh damn that’s intense. The tenancy rules around this are a little hard to figure out, but basically, if you want someone out of your flat, it depends entirely on whether their name is on the tenancy agreement or not.

However, if they are named on the tenancy agreement, you can’t just evict them. Unless the landlord takes legal action or goes to the Tenancy Tribunal, there’s no easy way to get them out.

If their name isn’t on the agreement, boom you can kick ‘em out with 14 days notice! If they don’t get out after this period, they become a trespasser and the police can kick ‘em out!

But basically, you should always feel safe and comfy in your own home. If you are being harrassed by a flatmate and you feel unsafe, you can report it to the police.

Massive Magazine

According to my Google, a random person shitting on your rental is vandalism. So, generally, the landlord or property manager is responsible for sorting out the cleanup. Google also said you should call the police on the mystery diarrhoea man, but that seems overkill tbh. Your landlord screwed y’all over. Rats are generally the landlord’s responsibility to deal with, as long as you told them about the problem and it wasn’t caused by you. Then there’s the asbestos situation. If asbestos was found during building work, your landlord should have been dealing with it properly and keeping you informed.

FIRST CASE: My wooden window frames were so rotted that pushing my finger against them felt like touching a sponge. I had to clean mould off my walls every three weeks. We found a mushroom growing in our bathroom. Our heat pump didn’t work. Our landlord said they’d book to fix it in six weeks, reduced our rent in the interim, and when the six weeks came and went with nothing fixed, they said they’d never actually booked it. They also overcharged us when we moved out as they weren’t recording our rent reduction correctly and claimed we underpaid rent. I tried contacting them, had no response, so we lost $600. SECOND CASE: In another flat, the wall behind my bed was so damp at the bottom that it was dripping water and the wallpaper started coming off the wall and the landlord did not care at all. THIRD CASE: Another flat was run by a gas boiler system that broke several times and we were essentially without heating for the entirety of winter ... they gave us two radiator heaters that basically only heated what was directly in front of them and cost so much to run. FOURTH CASE: Another flat had no extractor fan in our bathroom/laundry because it was a ‘heritage building’ ... and our dryer had no venting tube so it just poured steam into our bathroom which meant we had to have the window open CONSTANTLY and our bathroom was still covered in mould. The bathroom also had SHAG CARPET???

In my first flat ... our whole flat group was constantly sick, we had rats and really bad dust. Towards the end of our lease our tiles began cracking and after having multiple plumbers in and out the house the floor was completely torn up. The accumulation of cork and dust was so bad it was tested for asbestos. We were waiting weeks for results and got nothing in return. Eventually when we finally got a response it was confirmed we did have asbestos in the entry/ laundry/kitchen (so awesome eating asbestos for dinner). We were blamed for damages done by the builders and threatened to be taken to tenancy tribunal, unless we accepted that we would not get our bond back #arizonagrove And if your floor was completely ripped up and builders were in and out for a month, that’s also a pretty major disruption. Landlords can do work while tenants are living there, but there are rules around how disruptive that work can be. It’s technnically not legal for tenants to be living in a major construction zone. The bond situation is probably the wildest part. If builders caused the damage, you shouldn’t automatically be held responsible for it. And your landlord can’t just decide to keep your bond because they feel like it. If you had photos, emails or messages showing what happened, those could be pretty important if it went to the Tenancy Tribunal. Basically: keep EVERYTHING in writing.

For heating, rentals generally Whoosh, this is a need fixed heating that can heat LOT of bad luck. I the main living area to at least 18 lowkey feel like you degrees. So unfortunately, your sad little portable heaters need someone else two don’t necessarily cut it. to pick your flats for rotten windows, peeling you because this is The wallpaper and general crazy. disintegration of these flats also sounds like a bit of a problem. Let’s get into it... Under section 45 of the RTA, According to the Residential Tenancies Act (RTA), landlords have to keep their properties in a reasonable state of repair and meet the Healthy Homes Standards. This includes things like heating, ventilation and moisture. Mould is a bit of a two-way street. Landlords have responsibilities around dampness and mould, but tenants are also expected to ventilate and manage moisture. That being said, mushrooms growing out of your floor and water actively dripping into your bedroom wall is probably a little beyond “have you tried opening a window?” If the landlord knew about it and did nothing, that could potentially be a breach of their obligations. Massive Magazine

landlords have to keep their properties in a reasonable state of repair. The fact that a building is old doesn’t mean it gets a free pass to fall apart.

The rent reduction situation is interesting, though. Landlords and tenants can agree to temporarily reduce rent while repairs are being sorted, but landlords still have to keep proper rent records. So, if you had emails or texts showing the reduction was agreed to, and the landlord then took around $600 because they thought you’d underpaid, you potentially had grounds to challenge that. If you had nothing in writing, though, it unfortunately becomes a lot harder to prove. Finally, I regret to inform you that there is no law which outlaws shag carpet in a bathroom.

13 13

Housing

I’ve scrolled through the internet for as long as I can remember. And for just as long, I’ve peered with envy into the bedrooms of my peers across the world. Whether through Pinterest inspo boards or in the backgrounds of TikToks, the trend cycle doesn’t just apply to clothes.

WORDS BY LEE JUDI • THEY/THEM

It applies to bedrooms too. Whether it’s LED strip lights bathing your room in red, a teal feature wall, or a random hyperfixation with a city on the other side of the world, the iconic bedroom trends of our past now feel like distant memories. But God, I remember begging for them every year.

The London Look 2012 In 2012, no matter what country you lived in or where you came from, if you were a tween or teenage girl, you wanted to be British. Of course, the bedroom had to match. Union Jack pillows and bedspreads looked up at a huge photograph of the London skyline. A plastic Big Ben stood tall on the bedside table next to a miniature red telephone booth. Above

the bed, a cheeky poster of Ed Sheeran stared down at you.

England was the hottest craze, and our cultural internet icons were partly to blame. YouTubers Zoella and Alfie Deyes took over our screens every afternoon after school. Meanwhile, adverts of Georgia May Jagger holding Rimmel mascara gave us exact instructions to “Get the London look”. And oh buddy, I really tried. Even if I wasn’t allowed the mascara, at least I could give my bedroom the London look.

Massive Magazine

Features • Āhuatanga

WORDS BY LEE JUDI • THEY/THEM

Live, Laugh, Love Pink 2014 2014 took us on a one-way flight from London to New York City.

A swaggy pink snapback hanging from a wall hook could make or break your cool factor. And if you had a baby-pink fishnet canopy draped over your bed?

Victoria’s Secret had taken over, and on every Christmas wish list, their ‘Love Pink’ hoodie was etched in sparkly gel pen. But if I wasn’t getting the hoodie, then God damn. You had the striped pink poster would do. reached the highest echelon of steeze. ‘Girly girls’ were in. Starbucks was in. Anything pink was in.

2020

TikTok Takes Over

It started going downhill in 2020.

This year was all about beach, beach, beach!

This was peak-teenage girl YouTube.

Everyone knew the words to For those who lived by a ‘Literally My Life’ by MyLifeAsAva beach in Aotearoa, you and a beach curl was to die for. Of got to cosplay ‘Literally My course, the bedroom had to match Life’ for the entire summer. your new beach-babe aesthetic. Walking back into your beachy room after being in Instax photos were pegged onto the sand all day made you string, fairy lights adorned your feel like the main character white walls, and a framed poster in a coming-of-age film. of Venice Beach hung above your bed. Plastic plants from Kmart completed the look.

Beach Babe 2016

Trapped in our bedrooms as COVID-19 travelled the globe, we all went a bit crazy, I think. High saturation, CDs stuck to the walls, LED lights and cow print were in—and it still sends a shiver down my spine. If you could see more than an inch of bare wall between hundreds of photos taken pre-COVID, you were decorating your room entirely wrong. If you stuck vinyl records to the wall, rendering them completely unplayable, you were making the biggest flex. Psychedelic banners from “hippie” shops (AliExpress) created a new lower roof for your terrifying den. Ultimately, your room had to become the perfect backdrop for TikTok trends. This era scares me, so maybe it’s for the best that these bedrooms are all in the past. I don’t even know if there’s a classic bedroom trend at the moment. But maybe that’s the point. It’s time to leave these rooms in our youth.

Housing

WORDS BY KAMAIA BAINBRIDGE-FROST • SHE/HER NGĀ PUHI, WAIKATO TAINUI, FASITO’OUTA

To someone who isn’t Indigenous, or hasn’t felt the mauri swirling through a wharenui, it can be difficult to understand a marae’s significance to Māori. Yet, the mauri is there, imbuing the pou that hold it. Our marae are held by tikanga, kawa, and the wairua of our tūpuna. Built on our whenua, the taiao has witnessed the progression of our whakapapa, holding our whānau, hapū and iwi, for generations. They connect us to our tūpuna through a sacred connection to Te Ao Wairua. They are places of community, aroha and connection—to each other, and to the taiao.

Features • Āhuatanga So, while I can symphathise with the motivations behind it, I strongly disagree with the development of a marae in Sydney, Australia. A vision for Sydney to have a marae or cultural centre for Australian-based Māori has been discussed for several decades. It wasn’t until 2015, however, that the Sydney Marae Alliance (SMA) was formally established to pursue the project. In June 2021, the SMA announced that it had secured a long-term lease agreement with Cumberland City Council to build the $1 million facility at Hyland Road Reserve in Greystanes. But the land they are planning to build on belongs to the Dharug Ngurra people, who have publicly opposed the development. Describing the response to this as ‘controversial’ is generous. It has sent shockwaves through my hāpori. It could be argued that the development of a marae in Sydney is a product of the institutional disadvantages our people face on our own whenua. It is undeniable that the cost of living in Aotearoa is a cautionary tale, and it would be ignorant to ignore how disproportionately those pressures can affect Māori. For many Māori, including my own whānau and friends, immigration to Australia is a sacrifice necessary to create sustainable lifestyles for their whānau. But there is a line. The importance of sustaining one’s Māoritanga is not lost on me. I was raised without a strong connection to te reo Māori, and I lived in Australia for about a year in my developmental years. When you make the choice to leave Aotearoa, you face the harsh reality that sacrifices need to be made. You are leaving your moana. You are leaving your whenua. You are leaving your marae.

Despite the longing, you have undeniably made a choice to leave. The choice might be for the betterment of your whānau, the financial sustainability of your whakapapa, or simply to seek greener grass. For that, I have nothing but respect. But even as a child, I understood the finality of that choice. My position is also shaped with a strong consideration for the perspectives of the Dharug Ngurra—the First Nations people of the Sydney area—who have actively opposed the building of the marae on their land. Forty years ago, Māori and Dharug Ngurra elders reportedly came to an informal agreement in which approval was granted to build a marae on the land. Those Dharug elders have since passed, and the present generations of Dharug Ngurra have said that agreement does not represent their position. The current Dharug Ngurra Aboriginal community has openly expressed its disagreement with the proposed development. Members have also publicly described the project as a form of “re-colonisation”. According to RNZ, senior Dharug Ngurra woman Corina Wayali Norman said the SMA had consulted members of the community to gain approval. She says she “basically” said no, making clear that she could not speak on behalf of her entire mob. She believes that the SMA needed to enter the community, build a relationship and develop trust between Māori and Aboriginal communities before the project was considered. That relationship was not formed before the project progressed. This alone should serve as enough justification to prevent the building of a marae in Sydney. Massive Magazine

How can we build a place intended to honour Māori culture while disregarding the wishes of the Indigeneous people whose whenua it would stand on? The continuation of this build despite indigenous opposition feels inherently colonial. These attitudes and behaviours are painfully familiar and speak to a sense of entitlement that we have seen through historical encounters with colonisers ourselves. I’m not the only one who shares this view. Every Māori person I have spoken with produces echoes of the same claim— marae should not be placed outside of Aotearoa. As tūrangawaewae, each marae is sacred to the people that belong to it. Marae hold a significant relationship with the taiao it rests on, as do the people who belong to it. Each marae holds generations of whakapapa, connecting us to our tūpuna. If my iwi, Ngāpuhi, were to build a marae in Pōneke, it would not be recognised as a marae because it is not our land. My tūpuna do not rest here. Their mauri does not swirl through the wharenui. If you are Māori, you belong to a marae. Your tūpuna rest there. Even if you haven’t been there, they know you. If you seek the nurturing of your Māoritanga, find that in your hāpori, or return home.

You can have community without calling it a marae. You can be Māori without building on someone else’s whenua. 19

Pineapples to Treehouses: Reviewing Childhood TV Homes WORDS BY GRACE BYRNE • SHE/HER • NGĀTI POROU

Spongebob Squarepants: The Pineapple

Aside from the fact that a pineapple wouldn’t survive at the bottom of the ocean for very long, the house itself seems like a health hazard. Personally, the rounded walls would simultaneously give me claustrophobia and vertigo. The life ring armchair also looks like it would give me back issues. Beyond the design aspects, the pineapple walls and floors don’t really scream “structural integrity”. All someone has to do to break in is start digging into the walls with a spoon. Despite its complete lack of safety, it does win some points for having a slide which leads to a giant library. Genuinely, life goals. But overall, I could not see myself willingly living here.

The Simpsons: The Simpsons’ Residence

While The Simpsons series is a great source of nostalgia for me, I’m not sure I would thrive within their failed nuclear family.

WHO LIVES IN A PINEAPPLE UNDER THE SEA? THANK GOD IT’S NOT ME. Spongebob’s pineapple home rests on the sandy floors of Bikini Bottom, nestled between a rock (Patrick’s house) and a hard place (Squidward’s house). Although iconic, I’m not sure that the pineapple structure is entirely practical.

Outside of their toxic family dynamic, the house needs a serious home reno. First, the whole place needs a serious colour analysis. From the sickly pink walls to the purple and orange bedspreads—I’m getting a migraine. Later seasons of The Simpsons frequently show visible cracks on the walls above the entryways and living spaces. This wear and tear can possibly be attributed to Grampa Simpson crashing a car into the house, Homer’s various DIY mishaps, or the severe termite infestation they had in season 29.

Massive Magazine

The infestation was so bad that the insects were the only thing keeping the house upright. GROSS! However, there are a few positives. They have a dog, their 2D couch does look very comfy, and Bart has a cool treehouse. This tree is also perfect for climbing up to Ned Flander’s window to nick one of his famous hot chocolates. While I’d happily have a sleepover, I don’t want to be a permanent resident.

iCarly: Spencer’s Apartment

Nothing screams “free wil ” quite like the iCarly Apartment. From gummy bear chandeliers to spontaneously combusting décor, there’s a lot to wrap your head around. From gummy bear chandeliers to spontaneously combusting décor, there’s a lot to wrap your head around. For one, how does Carly’s brother, Spencer, afford this three-storey Seattle apartment on an artist’s salary? Either Spencer has a suspicious side hustle, or the cost-of-living crisis simply doesn’t exist in the iCarly universe. I do quite like the open-plan living areas and retro ’70s vibe. Having a personal elevator is also pretty cool.

However, I think I’d be far too on e dge to actually live here. With pranks happening every other day, it would be nerve-wracking just going to the kitchen for a snack. Then there’s the frequent explosions of random household objects and the constant fire hazards. Seriously. It’s an issue.

Adventure Time: Finn and Jake’s Tree Fort

Gravity Falls: The Mystery Shack

Nearly all of Spencer’s sculptures seem destined to meet a fiery end. At one point, a gummy bear lamp he made for Carly caused a fire so bad that it burnt down her bedroom. He’s maybe not the ideal roommate. At the end of the day, the iCarly apartment has a charmingly eclectic vibe, with a slight hint of impending disaster. The apartment itself is a bit hit or miss, but hey, there’s no chance unless you take one.

Friends: Monica’s Apartment I know I’ve succeeded in life the day I finally get to live in Finn and Jake’s tree fort. Despite residing in the monster-riddled land of Ooo, the magic of living in this house would be worth the risk. Hollowed out inside a weeping willow, the fort is riddled with secret hideouts, swing bridges, and even a balcony made out of a sailboat.

I’m not a fan of apartments, but Monica’s apartment from Friends is one I’d happily retire in. Personally, I would never have chosen to mix purple walls and a blue kitchen together, but somehow Monica manages to mesh the colours. All of the furniture is meticulously curated, and the bay window in the living room is a dream. I could probably live without the view of ugly naked guy though. Visitors walking casually through the front door at any hours of the day would also take some getting used to. Between the nostalgic colour scheme and the constant stream of friends, I’d happily sign the lease.

Forget the minimalist, modern aesthetic— I’d rather live in this chaotic, maximalist mess of a treehouse any day. I mean, seriously. What better way to get from room to room than by climbing the branches of your very own tree? Yeah, yeah, yeah. There are monsters outside, the structural integrity is questionable at best, and bringing groceries inside would be a headache and a half.

Stil , these are sacrifices I’d be wil ing to make for this perfectly imperfect home. Massive Magazine

The Mystery Shack from Gravity Falls is the only tourist trap I’d wil ingly fall for. It’s a tourist trap, haunted house, and cozy home rolled into one—perfect! Despite its spooky exterior, the living space is charming and cozy in an eerie sort of way. I’m sure I’d get used to the mildly terrifying taxidermy and wall decor eventually.

My morning routine would consist of strolling through the woods, encountering some strange creature, and getting dragged into some strange experiment.

Sounds fun as hell!

Chaos and all, I can’t help but feel drawn to the Shack’s totally weird aura. Plus, amidst the mysterious animal skulls and cryptic signs, my hoarder self would fit right in. Who doesn’t want an unpredictable, interdimensional portal in their basement?

Scandal

Model - A Child Swiming EP Release Tour Fri, 9 Oct Mercury Lane Alleyway

01 Sects in the City - Big 02 funlifebreakupsuite - smiley8 03 Cradle & Car Crash Emy - I live my life 04 Diesel Jenny - Longbow

(showponi Remix)

05 Dillon Jo - Vertigo

NO GIGS THIS WEEK

06 Laluna - Blue Flame 07 Dolly Possum - Cow 08 UNCLES - Garage Pāti 09 LAUGHING STOCK - Terracotta Lilies 10 Girls Rock Aotearoa - Bare Minimum

Beth Torrance & the Garden Party Fri, 9 Oct Vogelmorn Upstairs

skymning - Mind Ya Business

Art by Brianna Grapes SHE/HER

Hey Mother. I’m so burnt out but I have a chronic fear of failure. How do I finish the rest of this semester without handing in assignments that suck? Omg girl, I completely get you. It’s definitely that time of year where everything is happening all at once and the petrol in your engine is running low. Like me, I imagine you’re perfect in all possible ways. Unfortunately, no one can be perfect all the time—not even me! And believe me, I’ve tried. Burnout mixed with perfectionism is a brutal combination. But don’t let one flop era define you! Instead of demanding perfection, become a strategist. For me, a reward system always helps. For every ten words you type, every maths equation you solve, or every time you need more paint on your brush, give yourself a reward. This could be a sweet treat, a little dance, lying horizontally on the floor for five minutes, some cunnilingus, or simply getting someone nearby to praise you on demand.

Stop treating every assignment like it’s your magnum opus. Sometimes the goal isn’t to produce the greatest piece of work humanity has ever seen. Sometimes, the goal is simply to submit the bloody thing. But also remember, your perception of an assignment that quote-on-quote “sucks” is most likley distorted. Your 70 percent effort is probably what most people consider their 90 percent—so don’t beat yourself up! Just lower the bar temporarily. Get the assignments done. Get to a point you’re happy with them. Read them once. Fix the obvious mistakes. Avoid using AI. Submit it. Then close your laptop and go touch some grass. You are burnt out babe. You’re not a failure.

Mother Massive Massive Magazine

This year was not meant to be the year of mad rooting.

It started innocently enough with a girl in my halls. Then a girl from my lecture. Then my mate introduced me to his friend, who was a 10/10, and about six weeks in, I was realising university was basically just high school but with more shagging. So, the boys and I really leaned in. We started a bet, and I’m not super proud of this, but it is banter. One of the boys reckoned he could pull this chick we both liked before me. It became a matter of national importance, especially since we were both stupidly competitive. I won & saw saw her for a few weeks, but it didn’t work out.

Massive Magazine

Columns • Tīwae

Sexcapade submissions provided by

For 20% off yo ur next purchase, enter discou nt Fine, no problem. I’ve got other birds to shag. The rejection got me in my feels tho, and since I was having a shit week, one of the boys joked that he’d ask the girl he’d been shagging to have a threesome with us.

it helps with the girls too. I’ve noticed they either come to me because they know it’s not t hat deep, or they try and “change me”. So, it’s a massive win-win.

I laughed. But in a rogue turn of events, she actually did it, and I ticked it off the list. A couple weeks ago, a chick in my lecture told me I have developed a reputation for being a fuckboy. I know that’s not a rep you should aspire to, but I actually like it. There’s something satisfying about walking through the halls and getting that little nod from the boys, and

Things haven’t resulted in a trip to the doctor’s office just yet, and I’m always one to wrap, tap and gap, which saves anyone’s health and feels. Guess it’s safe to say I’m definitely making the most of my youth. 3/10 experience.

Massive Magazine

As your daily stresses increase this week, it’s important to get your passive aggression under control. Reflect on your conflict management skills before it’s too late.

Go and buy yourself a new pair of shoes. No matter how big your collection is, the joy that comes with opening a fresh pair is unmatched. You’re going to need joy this week.

This week brings sleep as you’ve never slept before. As soon as your head hits the pillow, you will be transported to magical dreamscapes that guide you through the night.

You should really start thinking about setting your alarm in the morning a little earlier. The sleep ins aren’t doing you any favours—they’re only missing you lectures.

This week is the perfect time for you to start your new hobby, bird watching! Go for a hike and document all of the birds you find in a dedicated bird journal.

Your journey to self-improvement over the past month is bringing the people around you closer. But make sure no tongue-on-tongue action starts to happen.

You’ve been branching out recently, and your hard work is about to pay off. A new adventure is approaching and will move you past whatever you’re tightly clinging to.

Your enemy has found out something about you that you’ve been holding in. How will you choose to manage this situation? Be petty? Or take accountability?

Your friends are sick of hearing about your dry spell. Either indulge in self-pleasure or go out and get some. I hear there’s a sweet someone in the library waiting for you.

Your sweet attitude has been noticed by the wrong people. Watch out, or you’re going to start being taken advantage of. Focus on self-love rather than people pleasing.

Engage in platonic physical contact this week. Hold your friend’s hand or have a cuddle to boost your endorphin levels. A quick kiss never hurt anyone.

You are in the thick of a difficult time and this has been impacting your social life. This week will bring a whole day dedicated to friendship—make use of it.

Massive Magazine

EASY

HARD

Home

Whare

Quarters

Flat

Residence

Chambers

Pad

Domicile

Place

Crib

Habitat

Room

Dwelling

Lodge

Kitchen

Abode

Shelter

Toilet

Massive Magazine

3. Mates, buddies, equals, also the name of a 90s TV show (7)

16. Let’s make this _______ our home (5)

6. Often mistaken for the capital of Australia (6)

4. Kiwi slang for holiday home (4)

17. You don’t own your house, you ____ it (4)

8. Fictional street where the Simpson’s live (9)

7. Palace historic monument southwest of Paris (10)

11. Grows on damp materials and rotting food (5)

9. Welcome to my ____ (4) 10. Often outlines a property, made from wood, metal or wire (5)

1. App or website where one often finds inspiration (9)

12. Fruit with diamond patterned skin (9)

2. Unit part of a larger building (9)

14. Style of house, small, one story (8)

13. Person/Group who owns property (8) 15. Jobs, often cleaning, that are split among inhabitants of a home (6)

3. Slang term for rental property (4) 5. Tourist attraction in Matamata (8)

Massive Magazine

FIND PUZZLE ANSWERS ON www.massivemagazine.com

Albany

Ōkahukura

Lock-and-leave living A short walk from Massey University fletcherliving.co.nz/unitliving

Homes

from

559k

Our single‑level unit homes in Albany are designed for effortless lock‑and‑leave living ‑ giving you more time for what matters. With a range of floorplans to choose from, they’re ideal for first‑home buyers or investors seeking low‑maintenance convenience. Perfectly positioned within walking distance of Albany’s popular amenities and Massey University. Explore Unit Living at Albany today.

Refer

and receive

$1,000

Know someone looking for a new home? Refer them and get rewarded with the Fletcher Living Referral Programme. $1,000 for you, a brand new home for them.

* It’s a win-win.

FIND OUT MORE & VIEW T&C’S.

fletcherliving.co.nz/referral

Debbie Dickens 027 203 4802 ddickens@frl.co.nz

*T&Cs apply. See website for details.

Joss Lewis 021 245 5155 JLewis@frl.co.nz

Visit our Show Home 21 Te Ara Tu Para Albany. Open 7 Days.

Centrefold

Massive Magazine

by Amy An

Cover by Olive Bartlett