MASSIVE Issue 3 2023: The Clubs Issue

MASSIVE The Clubs Issue

MAR 13/2023 Cover by Annick Harvey

ISSUE 03

Editor’s letter Kia ora koutou <3 This week we find ourselves in da club, and I mean in the wholesome way. Some uni clubs are more wholesome than others, but whatever your niche, we’ve got you covered. Having a little club community at uni is a great way to explore what you want in life, and make friends.

However kooky you are, there is a club for you. This week our wonderful editorial team explore the world of clubs, looking at student markets, film buff groups and more obscure gatherings. We also hear from Massey’s Muslim students about Ramadan and how we can celebrate and support our friends at this important time. We have our usual features, Sexcapades, Solicited Advice and Horoscopes to brighten your week as the clouds and wind roll in. Snuggle up with your favourite student mag and a cuppa.

Pocket’s letter I have found myself inundated with new students desperate to find me over the last two weeks, and I have to say it is wearing on my soul. Being so sweet and loveable is a tough life indeed. Oh, woe is me! What I would give to trade places with one of you ordinary folk.

Unfortunately, it is not to be; I am cursed with a perfect physical form and oh-so-scratchable chin.

All I can do to alleviate my eternal ennui is provide you poor souls with advice. It is a balm to my suffering, a poultice to my existentialist solitude, and you will find it within the pages of this tome. While the weather outside may be as grey and bleak as your hopeless human existences, the pages of Massive will warm your insides.

Regards, Pocket

What to look forward to News

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Features Weird and Wonderful Clubs

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Basic is out, Niche is in

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Film Bro 101

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From Fasting to Feasting

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Booktok

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Māori Spaces

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Columns Sexcapades

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Solicited Advice

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Horoscopes

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Basic Witch

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Editor Leila Lois Designer Emily Wilson News Editor Sammy Carter Sub Editor Tui Lou Christie Staff Writer Aiden Charles Staff Writer Elizabeth Chan News Reporter Tegan Jaggard Feature Editor Molly Richards Illustrator Annick Harvey Illustrator Eden Laing Te Ao Māori Editor Cameron McCausland-Taylor Social Media Chantal Janice

MASSIVE NEWS

13 MARCH 2023

WEEKLY NEWS Massey staff pay negotiation ends in a disappointedly low pay rise Sammy Carter (she/her)

Massey staff have finished their pay dispute, landing a low raise of 4.25% instead of the 8% they bargained for.

As Massey’s Collective Agreement expired in July last year, the Tertiary Education Union (TEU) were negotiating an 8% pay rise across universities to match inflation.

Staff took action last year, with multiple protests and strikes pushing for a pay rise over the eight long months of bargaining.

The offer of 4.25% was ratified last Monday.

Ben Schmidt, TEU organiser said, “It is disappointing for some,

however the settlement and the increase that has been ratified by members has improved significantly from when bargaining started and that is because of the action members have taken.”

The pay rise will come into effect on the 20th of April, when union members will be paid backdated to the 9th of January.

A further 3% pay increase will be effective on the 8th of January 2024.

The settlement also included a graduate assistant pay increase from minimum wage to just above living wage.

Schmidt said, “While we acknowledge the pay increase is not the 8% that we went into bargaining for, the settlement that members have ratified is significantly improved from the initial pay offer because of the action and the hard work and

Massey Manawatū staff protesting in October last year. Photo / Stuff

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commitment of union members.”

Other universities, such as the University of Canterbury, secured pay increases as high as 17.9%.

The new collective agreement will be in place till June 2024.

Teresa Housel, senior tutor in communications at the Wellington campus is fortunate to have another source of income as her husband works as an engineer.

However, she said if she were solely living on her tutor’s pay, she would have to go back to how she lived as a budgeting post grad student.

“I would go back to that and be really careful.”

“I do notice everyday costs and food has definitely increased.”

She said a pay rise would make a difference, “we’ll probably just save it”.

Housel didn’t feel the pay dispute was an issue of staff being undervalued.

“I’m very happy in my role and I really love what I do.”

Housel attended the first of the protests and thought it helped get people’s voices out and brought awareness.

She said the protest had a celebratory tone of people coming together to protest for something they were concerned about.

MASSIVE NEWS

Students forgotten as bus prices rise again Tegan Jaggard (she/her)

“Students are materially far worse off these days than students 10 years ago”, says Chloe Swarbrick, so how would they ever be able to afford today’s public transport?

As of the 1st of April, bus prices across Wellington will be going up 6% and half-price fares will be gone.

Green MP Chloe Swarbrick said, “It’s definitely the case that students are disproportionately using public transport and therefore, will be disproportionately impacted by the hikes in cost.”

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The Peoples Inquiry into Student Wellbeing last year showed that two thirds of students regularly can’t afford the basics.

“I don’t think students are being considered at all really by local or central government in any meaningful way.”

“Once again, we saw that the 400,000 odd students in this country were kicked to the curb because there was an assumption that they wouldn’t kick up a fuss or fight back.”

Swarbrick said, “there’s been a very systemic and intentional undermining of student power.”

“Students are materially far worse off these days than students 10 years ago when I was at uni, let alone 20 years ago when now

Prime Minister was the head of Victoria University of Wellington student association,” said Swarbrick.

“This is where the government actually really has to step in.”

Green MP Julie Anne Genter said “The reality is, public transport has been too expensive in New Zealand for a really long time.”

“Arguably central government should be putting in more money and they’re not,” said the transport and infrastructure deputy chairperson Genter.

Genter feels the government’s money should be going towards public transport instead of fossil fuel.

“They should be rolling out bus lanes and bus priority much faster.”

Chloe Swarbrick says fares should be free. Photo / NZ Herald

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MASSIVE NEWS

Students say International Women’s Day does both harm and good Claudia O’Neill

Some students say International Women’s Day validates women, while others feel it does the opposite.

On Wednesday last week, International Women’s Day (IWD) went by at the Massey Wellington campus unnoticed with no events or decoration.

Remarkably few of the people it seeks to celebrate were aware of its existence.

All of the students Massive spoke to agreed that prejudice and discrimination remain at large for women and gender-diverse people.

Digital Art student Aaron described gender discrimination as “rampant”.

“Most dudes are still subconsciously slightly sexist so

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this event could only be a good thing.”

With his amazing (and accurate) alliteration aside, Aaron made an important point about how IWD events could be valuable in making people feel more accepting towards others.

However, others said the event could open the floor to hostility particularly directed towards gender diverse people.

Fine Arts student Lucy said, “With every feminist movement in history there has been room for transphobia.”

“You shouldn’t have to fight for your right to exist in a place where you definitely do belong.”

This message particularly resonates considering the International Women’s Day theme for this year of #EmbraceEquity.

The IWD website said equity means creating a gender equal world that is free of bias, stereotyping and discrimination.

Lucy said that to them, equity means building a sense of

International Woman’s Day last week went uncelebrated at Massey. Photo / Dylan Jones

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belonging for people and it fundamentally comes down to being kind.

“It’s thinking what we can do to change things – that’s embracing equity.”

Lucy had concerns that IWD could become an opportunity for people to “glorify themselves” in acting like advocates, while not fully absorbing the values they’re standing to represent.

Design student Greta said the event could easily become tokenistic, depending on the intentions of those behind it.

She said, “It depends if there’s an organisation running it or if it’s a commercial thing. It depends where it comes from.”

However, Greta said that a day that raises awareness is important to have. “[IWD] starts the conversation. It’s not like it harms it.”

There was a general feeling that while one day wouldn’t drastically change the world, it could at least pave the way forward for positive change.

MASSIVE NEWS

A burger made by someone with diabetes, for diabetes Sammy Carter (she/her)

Dirty Burger staff member Lee Congdon was diagnosed with type one diabetes two years ago, now he’s created a burger to raise money for Diabetes New Zealand.

In February, Dirty Burger Wellington raised over $1000 for Diabetes NZ, a dollar of every Lee burger going towards it.

Two years ago, when Congdon was diagnosed with type one diabetes, he was taken aback.

“It was pretty overwhelming. I felt like my life was over but now that I’ve lived with it for a while and learnt to deal with it, it really doesn’t hold you back.

“Not a lot of people know but type one diabetes can occur at any time.”

With a love of spicy food, Congdon created a burger his friends could get a kick out of.

When he pitched the burger, his boss suggested they donate one dollar of every purchase to Diabetes NZ. Congdon said, “I had no intention of making any money off of it.”

Staff from Diabetes NZ came to the Dirty Burger Cuba store to try the Lee burger and were stoked, but some couldn’t handle the spice.

Alex Henderson, owner of Dirty burger said Diabetes NZ were

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happy it brought awareness.

He said, “They’re not expecting hundreds of thousands of dollars to come back, but they were really happy that it brings more awareness to the issue.”

“I’m more than happy to do it, especially when it’s something so close to him [Lee].”

Henderson said staff are always coming up with “crazy creations” on their lunch and dinner breaks, so he invited them to pitch special burgers and they would get a dollar royalty for every sale.

But when Congdon spoke about his diabetes at the pitch, Henderson said, “I just thought ‘well, might as well do another

dollar for Diabetes NZ’ ”.

“I think it makes it feel even more special because he has that connection to it [Diabetes NZ].”

The Lee burger will be the first of many as Henderson wants to have more burger specials by staff, donating a dollar to a place of their choice.

“People have been really really into it and supported it,” Henderson said.

This March, the Dirty Burger Cuba Street location is doing a six-month pop-up for their sister company Karaage Kid, which sells Japanese fried chicken burgers and bowls.

Lee Congdon from Dirty Burger was diagnosed with type one diabetes two years ago. Photo / Supplied

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Clubs at Massey Clubs are for having fun, meeting people who share your passions/experiences, exploring something new or simply doing more of what you love! Clubs are always looking for new members - flick them an email or DM to get involved!

Doctoral Student Association

DSA provides a networking platform for students who want to connect with others studying towards a doctoral qualification. We provide academic workshops tailored to student needs, non-academic gatherings for stress relief and a presentation platform for upcoming conferences, confirmation and the like. masseywellingtondsa@gmail.com

Wellington Nursing Club Nursing Club is a community for Nursing students at Massey Wellington. We have an online community where we share opportunities, news, and events!

Facebook: Massey University Wellington Nursing Club

Massey Screenwriters

A group for students studying CMP to hone their screenwriting skills. We want fellow screenwriters and students to meet and share resources, tips, and skills to help each other improve. By organising screenwriting events, we meet industry professionals to network and make connections with screenwriters within the industry.

Instagram: @mu.screenwriters Facebook: Massey Screenwriters masseyscreenwriters@mawsa.org.nz 8

Network To Get Work

Network To Get Work is a relaxed networking event for the CMP cohort.

This monthly get together aims to harbour a space for students to meet fellow creatives, share their work, build relationships, and find others to collaborate with. Our club also offers course/paper clarity, student advocacy, and industry transparency with opportunities to attend seminars hosted by industry professionals.

Networking works laterally not linearly, so come get involved and help to facilitate a creative community at Massey.

Instagram: @networktogetwork Facebook: Network to Get Work NetworkTGW@gmail.com

Earthworms Club

This club is for Earth lovers, Earth eaters, Earth wanderers, and Earth worms.

Instagram: @earthworms_wlg earthworms.compost@gmail.com

Massey Adventurers Association

Go on an adventure with the Adventurer’s Association! We meet twice a week to play D&D together.

Come and join us at the Student Lounge, 1-4pm each Monday and 2-5pm each Friday.

Instagram: @masseyadventurersassociation Discord: discord.gg/fNsSU68PfV MasseyAdventurersAssociation@ gmail.com

Massey Wellington Gaming Club

Connecting people who love to play games! From console to PC, from Pokémon to Hearthstone, we play it all! We meet regularly on the discord and often in person. We host sessions through the day and viewing parties for large tournaments.

Instagram: @masseywlg_gaming Discord: discord.gg/NqFZ9yPUz6 mwgaming@mawsa.org.nz

Massey University Life Drawing Club

Massey Wellington Life Drawing holds figure drawing sessions for both beginner and advanced life drawers!

We normally host on Mondays and Thursdays, however sessions are currently on standby as we establish a new team to run this club. If you’re interested, contact Bryce Galloway a.b.galloway@massey.ac.nz Instagram: mwlifedrawing mwlifedrawing@gmail.com

UniQ

Uni Q is a Queer representative group, providing support and running events for LGBTQ+ students and friends at Massey Wellington.

Instagram: @uniq_massey Facebook: Uni Q Massey Wellington tibmassey@gmail.com

Reel Ladies

We are a female-led group that focuses on the social and developmental needs of women and other minorities in Creative Media Production at Massey University. We run lots of meet ups, workshops, and events tailored to the needs of the students of CMP. Although our focus is on the needs of people who identify as women and other minorities, we are open to any and all members who are interested in supporting equity within our industry.

Instagram: @thereelladies Facebook: Reel Ladies womenofcmp@gmail.com

Massey Climbing Club

Are you on the lookout for an epic club to join? Honestly, look no further because a club has just found you!

You’re guaranteed to meet awesome, social people and make new friends.

Massey Climbing Club (MCC) has got it all! Climbing gym sessions, outdoor rock climbing trips (local to remote), movie nights, joint club parties! We are one of the most active clubs at Massey (Wellington Campus) so come say hi!

Massey University Chinese Student Association

Massey University Chinese Student Association aims to fulfill the needs of the Chinese students studying on Wellington campus. We will be hosting cultural events and study workshops throughout the year.

MUCSAatWellington@163.com

Massey Outdoor Recreation Club

An outdoors club for anything and everything awesome so we can go and have some adventures. Alpine stuff, hiking, mountain biking, rock climbing, surfing, fishing etc. etc! So if anybody has an idea for a trip or even just an afternoon at the beach then get in contact with us.

Insta: @morcwelly Facebook: MORC - Massey Outdoor Recreation Club masseyclimbingclub2021@ gmail.com

Thursdays In Black at Massey Wellington

Thursday’s in Black Massey Wellington fights towards a campus and world without rape and violence. We want to raise awareness of the prevalence of sexual violence in our community and build a supportive and inclusive community on campus for all.

Instagram: @tib_massey_welly Facebook: Thursdays in Black Massey Welly tibmassey@gmail.com

Koha Coffee

Koha Coffee is a student run club that serves quality filter coffee and a delightful assortment of tea. Whether you’re after a quick caffeine boost or an opportunity to make some new friends, we’ve got you covered!

Find us in Co Lab on Wednesdays & Thursdays, 10am-2pm kohacoffee@mawsa.org.nz

Insta: @mcc_2022 Facebook: MCC - Massey Climbing Club masseyclimbingclub2021@gmail. com

Graphite Club

Graphite Club is a social drawing club. We meet weekly to hang out and sketch together. It’s a great way to meet other like-minded artists across all degrees and year levels!

We sometimes do drawing activities together or have a movie or pizza night. All skill levels are welcome!

Instagram: @graphiteclubmassey Facebook: Graphite Club | Massey Wellington graphiteclubmassey@ gmail.com

9 Illustration by Kenishaa Shreeyaa

The weird and wonderful world of university clubs

By Leila Lois (she/her)

First-year, eager to make friends, try something new, and not spend the entirety of my time at uni studying in my bedroom, I became the Social Secretary for the University Ballet Club. Essentially, this involved organising raucous BYO dinners and picnics between our classes and shows each semester. I probably dedicated more time to ballet at university than I did to my ‘academic’ studies, but somehow, I managed to get a high enough GPA to apply for Postgraduate study. Being part of the University Ballet Club made me realise I wanted to do further study in Dance, not my original honours subject. I feel that clubs may even help you work towards further study or a career you might love, instead of doing what you think you ‘ought to’ do. Alternatively, student clubs can be fun, silly, and an excuse to get together with weirdos just like you… which was certainly the case for me.

Here are some random clubs at other (anonymous) universities, to make you giggle, or feel less weird:

Assassins' Guild Various universities. I remember seeing these guys go at it on the university lawns and I’ve heard they exist everywhere… Members take part in mock assassinations across the campus. They have mock assassination targets and must try to ‘get’ them with water pistols or toy swords. Sometimes games can last for weeks… I don’t know how they have the stamina.

Rock Paper Scissors Club This is a club that takes competition very seriously.

Imagine the tension competing to be the ultimate RPS champion each semester… you could cut the air with a knife, or scissors.

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Illustration by Emily Wilson (she/her)

Custard wrestling Society Pretty obvious how this one goes. Members spend their evenings wrestling each other in a paddling pool filled with custard. Standard.

Jailbreak Society Various universities. Members make teams where their goal is to get as far away from “jail”– the university campus – as possible within just 36 hours.

Some students (apparently) have been able to persuade airport staff to let them on flights for free and ended up on the other side of the world… not sure how they got back? Rich mummy and daddy?

Extreme ironing Society Does what it says on the tin. Bring your iron, your ironing board and maybe some climbing ropes or crampons to experience the most thrill-seeking version of no one’s favourite chore.

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Basic is out, niche is in

By Molly Richards (she/her)

If uni was a 2009 teen movie, you niche and trendy nerds would have been ridiculed. What’s up with that?

Chess club was “social suicide.” Having interests outside of sport and *Eddie Munson’s mocking voice* PARTIES wouldn’t have gotten you laid. In university, being a grade-A dork is ‘cool.’ I’m just saying, if you have a hobby, we might actually have an interesting conversation. I also think that those who have an interest that isn’t typically cool don’t really give a shit – and that’s always cool.

For decades, pop culture, especially teen movies, have had us thinking that niche interests are lame.

To be socially relevant you had to meet certain requirements. You can’t break the status quo and you need to be popular. Even if that means squishing yourself and your interests into uniformed little boxes.

I call bull.

Since I moved to Welly and started uni, I’ve noticed an exponential decline in Fs given. You know how I know?

Clubs. If you have a look around at the clubs that you can join whilst at uni, you’ll see the options extend far beyond the limitations set by this preconceived popularity. Sure, chess club always existed, but now it’s cool. If you’ve watched The Queen’s Gambit, you’d know. This makes me wonder if any of these clubs were ever actually uncool — they weren’t. I suppose they were (uncool) if you didn’t know how to play. Whichever way you slice it, memorising over a thousand chess opening moves is damn impressive.

So really, niche hobbies were uncool because they were, well, niche. So specialised and only relevant to a small part of society. When it gets to the mainstream, it can go two ways (in my experience); super trendy and popular because it is enjoyed by a vast number of people, or so popular the market becomes saturated and the people who previously enjoyed the thing resent it for what it has become. Or, in unfortunate cases, both. Think radio music. You liked it the first time but after hearing it ten times a day for months your love becomes hate. I also think there is sometimes an air of superiority around niche culture now. For example; Oh you’ve never heard of this band? Well, it’s niche so I guess you wouldn’t have.

Seriously?

If you grew up watching cheesy teen drama movies, 14

you might be familiar with the ‘clique tour’ trope, a trope featured and popularised in films such as Clueless, Mean Girls, and Lemonade Mouth to name a few. Here the main character is led on a guided tour around all the social groups. Typically, these groups range from your jocks, to the populars – beware of the plastics – to the drama, art, AV kids and the science nerds. Basically, the niche hobbies were out. Partying, sports, and social elitism were in. So here, think of me as your Janis Ian (Mean Girls; if you haven’t seen it, I can’t help you).

However, things come back and being niche and owning it is rad.

On a side note; Crocs? I remember thinking crocs were the ugliest shoes ever – honestly, still do. Now, I can respect it. Yes, they’re still just as ugly as I remembered but in a good way? It’s less a tangible factor and more of a feeling. I think because if you have Crocs, you don’t care what other people think.

You liked it, you bought it. I can respect that. In a weird way it makes me think about getting a pair. You know what Batman said, “You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain” (The Dark Night). Those little things you can razzle-dazzle Crocs with: Jibbitz? They’re fascinating.

Back to the matter. If we look at Pitch Perfect for example. In one of the first few scenes, Becca (the main character) wanders around the activities fair.

The clubs at that fair were random for comedic effect but not too far off really. Besides, joining the Quidditch team sounds like a riot. The acapella club wasn’t mainstream before Pitch Perfect by all means, but none of that really mattered within the film.

Acapella is niche but to those involved, it’s everything.

If everyone’s a dork, or rather if everyone is uncool, what really is cool? You know that whole tree falling in the woods, who hears it business ...

That brings me to having shared interests. If you can band together enough likeminded weirdos or whatever you like to call yourselves, you might just have enough people to fight off those haters. Not that you should need the numbers, but it might be nice. Don’t be afraid to join a club. If you have YOUR interests, you are a least a little bit interesting, remember. So “why so serious?” At least you’re not boring – as if!

Film Bro 101: A NotSo-Shameless Plug

By Aiden Charles (they/them)

Loser without a very specific club: I don’t have a club!

Gigachad who decided to make their own very specific club: I have decided to make my own very specific club.

So, clubs day has been and gone, and I’m sure it’s left some of you feeling left out.

Nothing appeals to me!

I have a hyper specific niche that is not being filled!

While a little dramatised, that was my feelings circa two years ago when I moved from distance to campus learning in my second year. Media studies is amazing and learning about film is amazing. However, outside the classroom there wasn’t anything to accommodate the interests of me and my friends.

So, we changed that.

So, who the hell are we?

In short: we’re film buffs. Not ‘you’ve never seen *insert popular film here* wtf is wrong with you’ film buffs, but film buffs nonetheless. And being film buffs without a place to encourage the viewing of odd and fantastical pieces of cinema, we created our own.

We’re a very small group of people (currently only three) who enjoy films to such a degree that we want to get others to watch them with us! No strings attached, no discussions required, no prior media knowledge needed. Just a place for anyone who enjoys movies, casual or diehard, to come enjoy movies.

ridiculously underground media, but films that haven’t been in the recent mainstream. Come along and you might find a new favourite film…

Where is this?

We’re based in Palmy, so if you’re around feel free to come join in! Nothing official is in the pipeline yet in terms of events (all free *cough cough* just saying) but there will be posters going up around campus soon, so keep an eye out Once we’re started, joining is as easy as rocking up on the day, taking a seat, and enjoying the first official viewing – Peter Jackson’s debut splatter hit, Bad Taste.

I want to make it clear though; this isn’t just a shameless plug for my super-duper-cool club you really should come along to.

It’s a sign telling you to get out there and start your own shit. If there isn’t a club for you, make one! It’s not even that hard. If I did it, you can too!

Finding likeminded people who want to have shared experiences surrounding your interests is so much easier than it seems. If one anxiety ridden boi from Palmy can do it, then basically anyone can.

What are we doing?

I mean if you haven’t figured out that we’re watching movies, I must ask, what have you been doing while reading this article?

Okay, that’s not fair. Essentially, we enjoy watching movies that are a little more obscure/not something you’d generally catch in a cinema today. As much fun as the MCU is, if you’re going in expecting that you’re gonna be disappointed.

The films we’ll be screening are lesser talked about, sometimes awful, but always entertaining. Not 15 Illustration by Eden Laing

16 Illustration by Eden Laing

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Sexcapades

Upto?

Read 2:37 AM

Not the best sex story

This story is about to shock some, and make others laugh. I wish this could be a story about amazing sex with simultaneous orgasms, but instead it has a slight gruesome twist. One weekend, I went to visit a friend of mine, let’s call him Bob. He was on a lad’s trip close to where I live, and he offered for me to spend the night at the hotel they were staying at.

We had a fun night with his friends, and then socialised and drank in the hotel room when we got back. I had a glass or two of wine and after a little bit, one of his friends ended up falling asleep on one of the beds. He was out cold.

By this time everyone had left the room besides Bob, me and his passed-out friend.

We started making out and taking our clothes off. It was getting hot and heavy, and we started to have really good sex. At one point we decided to switch positions, me leaning over the bed and him behind me. The thrusting motion from behind, which normally should feel good, ended up swaying the liquid in my stomach

back and forth to the point where I literally threw up in my mouth. It was enough where I had to motion to him to stop and run to the bathroom to spit it out.

I rinsed out my mouth and told him what happened, thinking this is where things would stop because it’s not exactly a turn on, but oh no... we didn’t stop. He ended up going down on me which didn’t last long because out of the blue I felt this jolt of pain. I wasn’t sure what had happened, so I let him continue but it hurt so much that I had to tell him to stop.

He had bit me. He didn’t believe me at first saying he’d never do that, but I was sitting there, knees clenched to my chest, in pain. I shifted my body a bit to explore the damage and saw a huge stain of blood on the sheets.

The look of horror we both gave each other was followed by loud banging on the door from his friend trying to get in.

Needless to say...it was an experience I’ll never forget.

Got a confession, a naughty tale, a sexy story?

Email editor@massivemagazine.org.nz to submit yours

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Solicited Advice

From Pocket

Solicited advice is a weekly column where Massive’s own four-legged Agony Aunty, Pocket, shares her wisdom and experience with you all. She speaks only truths.

Are university clubs any fun?

Recommendations?

I’m not much of a team player tbh... but Rock Climbing looks fun. I love climbing stuff. When you all go home, I do parkour on the roof. Anything with free snacks and I’m there. I’m definitely considering the Hunting and Fishing club this year, I could smash a few snapper. Currently, I’m blacklisted on the Wildlife and Conservation Club for bird chasing last year... don’t know why they were so touchy about that.

Pocket, how do I get my flatmates to do their dishes?

Okay, there’s no easy answer to this, I’m 77 in cat years and I still haven’t figured that out. I think it just comes down to maturity. No matter how many times you send a passive aggressive message in the group chat, nothing will change.

So if you are having problems with dishes not being done, I recommend you move out. OR, move your litter box into the kitchen and don’t move it out until they agree to get the pots out of the sink!

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Do you have a question you’re dying to have answered?

DM Massive Magazine on Instagram or editor@massivemagazine.org.nz and look out for next week’s issue - no question is too difficult for Pocket.

Horoscopes Pat black cats this week.

Especially the one in the MAWSA building. Who said black cats were bad luck?

Taurus

Try switching to the other end of your bed. You’re getting set in you ways.

Gemini

Cancer

Order the spanakopita in Tussock Cafe. Feta, spinach goodness. Better than sex, if you’re getting any good sex.

Leo

Practice self-love this week.

Love Island and pizza in bed all Saturday? You deserve it.

Virgo

Libra

Time to buy a new bikini (or speedos). You’ll look so hot; the sun will come out and makeup for a crappy summer.

Scorpio

You will have great sex this week. Or you will buy a vibrator.

Both options are good.

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Aries

You’ve been living in your comfort zone too long. Take a risk and join a random new club on Clubs Day. The weirder the better.

Avoid mayonnaise this week.

You’ll thank me for it one day.

Look out for free food this week (who doesn’t love free snacks?).

Someone is going to turn up in your life (not at your house, not in the creepy way) and cause good changes. Don’t resist it.

Carry yourself with the confidence of a mediocre white man. You deserve to shine.

Chips go best with tomato sauce, not mayonnaise. You’ll thank me for it one day.

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Basic Witch A humble review brought to you by a local Witch-aboutWellington, reviewing the places and things that will help you develop your pagan practices, revel in your arcane knowledge, and ascend to your highest self. While reflecting on the recent Massey Clubs day, I was taken back to my own university days. I graduated from the most prestigious school for young Witches in the entire Wellington region (yes, it’s the one you’re thinking of) with a Certificate in Witchcraft first class, majoring in Spells and Hexes and with a minor in Cryptozoology. Of course, this was long before Massey had a Wellington campus, otherwise I would have just gone there and got a BA in Liberal Arts. In honour of Clubs Day, I have included one club to my usual list of review categories.

By Tui Lou Christie (she/they)

Event:

Newtown Festival 5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

Newtown Festival is usually one of my favourite events of the whole year anyway, but I was absolutely blown away by this year’s array of stallholders and food carts. Walking just two blocks up Riddiford street, I was able to purchase most of the key ingredients I need to make several of my pantry staples, like Cure-All Ale (brewer’s yeast, paua fritters, and peppermint oil), Wolfsbane (black tea and bratwurst), and Love Potion (sheep bones and red liquorice). Talk about convenience!

Restaurant: Denny’s Porirua 5 stars ★ ★ ★ ★ ★

I went here with my human familiar on Valentine’s day, for educational purposes. Caustically American and hypnotically Caucasian, Denny’s has the atmosphere of an aging US vicepresident whose body is slowly crumbling in hospice care. If your plate has five foods on it, they will all be the same texture. I cannot recommend it highly enough.

Album:

Modern Gregorian Chants vol. 1 by Melisma Corpus & the Funky Bunch 4 stars ★ ★ ★ ★

This up-and-coming group of melophonic plainchant singers rock my world! Track 5, “Sanctus IV in e flat” is my summer anthem. I like to listen to this album while doing my daily de-stress ritual of covering myself in loose handfuls of damp earth. Listen with headphones on!

Club:

Khandallah Bowls Club 2 star ★ ★

I’ll admit, I came here by accident. I misread it as the Khandallah Bowels Club and I was looking forward to sharing tips on ritualistic slaughter with other witches. It turns out, ‘bowls’ (officially ‘lawn bowls’) is a game that involves old white people rolling balls along a well-kept lawn while wearing sun visors. While my disappointment is immeasurable, the people were perfectly pleasant and the wine was exceptionally cheap, so it wasn’t a wasted Saturday.

22 22

From fasting to feasting, Ramadhan is “a spiritual boot camp for the soul” Sammy Carter (she/her)

Sammy Carter interviewing Naomaan Riyaz, president of the Massey Muslim Student Association

Q: What does Ramadhan mean to you?

A: Ramadhan (also spelled Ramadan, Ramazan, Ramzan, and Ramathan) is the month of patience and characterises the epitome of worship for me.

Ramadhan is not a ritual. It is like a spiritual boot camp for the soul. Ramadhan allows a whole month of thoughtful contemplation of the errors of the past and finding a resolved determination to be better in the future, bolstered by a spiritual ambience.

Instead of focusing on my physiological needs, I focus on my spiritual ones. Instead of concentrating on consumption, I must focus on not doing anything that invalidates my fast. Ramadhan, to me, is the extension of an invitation from God to understand him beyond hunger and thirst.

Q: What’s your favourite thing about Ramadhan?

A: Aside from the spiritual part of Ramadhan, I love the culinary significance of the month. The tradition of gathering to celebrate breaking the fast every evening, known as Iftar, is as old as the custom of observance of the fast itself.

Living in Auckland, where Muslims from all over the world with their unique foods and culinary traditions come together every Iftar and bring their cuisines to the table— literally— I begin to get an idea of what heaven must be like.

Dates, biryani, stuffed grape leaves, samosa, kebabs and an assortment of desserts, everything as delectable in taste as in words.

Naomaan Riyaz is a PhD student at Massey Albany. Photo / Supplied

Q: What is a stereotype about Ramadhan or the Muslim Community you’d like to set straight?

A: Straight off the bat…not all Muslims are Arabs.

Most Arabs are Muslims but not vice versa. The world’s most significant population of Muslims is in Indonesia, but that doesn’t make all of us Indonesians either.

And the stereotypes about Ramadhan - It’s not a weight loss routine. And it’s not a punishment either.

It’s a bit hard to explain to people without explaining the significance of Ramadhan, but it’s not all headaches and thirst and grump. Talk to Muslims, and most of them would tell you they feel content and that it’s their favourite time of the year.

Q: What are some traditions in Ramadhan most people wouldn’t know about?

A: People should know that you don’t have to be a Muslim to enjoy the savoury delights at Iftar. Anyone can come to the prayer space and enjoy the meals.

It’s an open-to-all feast.

Q: What are you expecting for this year’s Ramadhan, and what can students expect?

A: This year, we have a new and much bigger prayer space that can fit more people than ever. And this year, the university welcomed the first batch of international students after COVID, including many Muslims. They and the rest of the students, old and new, are invited to come and enjoy this beautiful and blessed month with the Muslim community of Albany.

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Booktok: Hidden Gems edition

By Elizabeth Chan (she/her)

Illustration by Annick Harvery

For like-minded book lovers, introverts and those who are just not mainstream enough to join a club, this book recommendation list is for you.

Origin by Jessica Khoury Genres: Young adult fiction, sci-fi, dystopia, fantasy, romance Starting off with a hidden gem that always has a place in my heart, I absolutely recommend ‘Origin’ for those who LOVE dystopian fiction. Those who have read Roth’s Divergent or Dashner’s The Maze Runner know exactly what I’m talking about. The type of books that imagine what Earth could be like once civilisation nears its end.

Heavily using first-person narration, Origin is about a girl named Pia who has always known her destiny: to start a new race, a line of descendants who will bring an end to death. She has been bred for immortality, raised by a team of scientists in a secret compound hidden deep in the Amazon rainforest. One night, Pia finds a hole in the impenetrable fence that surrounds her home. She sneaks out for the very first time and meets Eio, a boy from a nearby village.

Unlike other mainstream YA fiction like a certain series named The Hunger Games, this book actually got my heart pounding. Though Origin is the first part of the Corpus series, I personally feel that this book is enough because it completes itself. Feel free to treat it as a series or a standalone.

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The Gods of Love by Nicola Mostyn Genres: fantasy, mythology, romance I have a soft spot for Greek mythology retellings as a huge Percy Jackson fan and this is the best duology I’ve read so far.

The first part in its duology, The Gods of Love is a creative urban fantasy novel that centres around cynical divorce lawyer Frida who is also a secret descendant of the immortal love god Eros.

When a handsome but clearly delusional man named Dan bursts into Frida’s office and insists that she is fated to save the world, she kicks him out faster than you can say ‘prenup’.

But a creepy meeting, a demon or three, and one attempted kidnapping later, Frida is beginning to face the inconvenient truth: Dan is in fact The Oracle, the gods of Greek mythology are real and Frida herself appears to be everyone’s only hope.

The Dollmaker of Krakow by R.M. Romero Genres: fantasy, historical fiction, coming-of-age I don’t usually recommend or review books I’m currently reading, but I can tell that this is already a phenomenal standalone novel. Do not underestimate the fairy-tale-like narration and ‘Middle Grade’ genre it got on Goodreads. This book was so beautifully heartwarming and heart-wrenching, my goosebumps were rising the whole time.

Krakow, Poland, 1939. Magic brings a little doll named Karolina to life, much to the surprise and delight of the Dollmaker. That summer, the two unlikely companions befriend a violin-playing father and his daughter.

Suddenly, the darkness of the Nazi occupation sweeps over the city. Can Karolina and the Dollmaker use magic to rescue their newfound Jewish friends?

Whakapapa the Only Benchmark for Māori Spaces

By Cameron McCausland-Taylor

Māori spaces on our university campuses are vital.

These spaces create a platform for students to keep in touch with their Māoritanga, gain access to specialised support services, and make connections with other Māori students from all over the motu. For many, this is right up their alley, a safe haven they can feel comfortable in. For others, these spaces bring up deep feelings of whakamā.

Speaking from personal experience, when I was on the Manawatῡ campus I never came close to going to the Manawatahi space. I went into my university experience with those common pre-conceived notions of what it meant to be ‘Māori’ enough in these spaces; knowing your reo, your whakapapa, your waiata, your tikanga. Because I grew up immersed in te ao Pākeha, the thought of being involved in Māori kaupapa was deeply overwhelming, like the two students I spoke to.

Other students I spoke to had similar experiences.

Samantha, growing up in Southland like me, said there was a “lot of whakamā” around being Māori, due to the white-washed vibe that is Southland. Our Māoritanga down those ways is in DIRE need of TLC, whānau! Her upbringing resulted in Samantha feeling divided from other Māori at university, saying she felt isolated, that she didn’t have things in common with other students, and that she was “way behind” on her haerenga.

“I’ve been at uni for 2+ years and haven’t been very involved in our Māori spaces,” said Samantha. “I feel more nervous to join because I feel like I’ve left it too late.”

Melissa, a past student at the Manawatu campus, also did not grow up in te ao Māori, being bullied out of Māori spaces during her schooling years. Her degree in social work was the reason she became immersed in the Māori worldview. However, it wasn’t until her third year when an older classmate encouraged her to come along to Māori kaupapa on campus, which helped her immensely.

By

“I started university at 18, and what I would have found really useful when I started was an older person to guide me into that space,” she said. “Also, the knowledge that those spaces are there. In my opinion, the Manawatῡ campus is really apathetic, and there’s not a lot of brown faces around campus. It can lean towards being conservative and farmer-esque.”

To allow all Māori at any stage of their Māoritanga journey to feel welcome, we need to unlearn these stigmas. Over time, I’ve come to learn that it’s usually not Māori who are most judgmental; it’s actually usually Pākeha. But here’s that reminder we all know and love: as long as you whakapapa Māori, you are VALID, and you are whānau. If you are a Māori student who is whakamā about getting involved in these spaces, perhaps grab a friend to come along with you so it’s less overwhelming. Build up your own knowledge in your Māoritanga to feel that little bit more assured. Be willing to acknowledge that you don’t know what you don’t know and be open to learning from others. If you’re Māori, these spaces are for you! That’s the only criteria needed.

Glossary

Māoritanga = Māori culture, way of life Motu = country Whakamā = embarrassment Reo = language Whakapapa = genealogy Waiata = songs Tikanga = procedures/customs Kaupapa = topic/subject Haerenga = journey

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Support student businesses!

By Tui Lou Christie (she/they)

A recently developed O Week tradition is the Massey Student Market Day.

Every O Week, MAWSA plays host to student creators, artists, and aspiring small businesses in a market designed to support these student endeavours.

I’m Tui Lou, and I run a small business. While you can find me around Wellington doing markets, my first time ever selling my stuff was at the Massey Student Market in 2020.

It is incredible just how much it helped my confidence when I first started out. Hosting a stall at the student market was free, lowering the barrier to entry and encouraging me to take that leap. MAWSA also provided some social media promotion, which encouraged me to get over my embarrassment and create a social media presence for my textile work. It’s a fantastic initiative, and directly supports new creators, students, and the creative arts as a whole.

Small businesses, especially those created by this generation of climate-focused young people, are often directly or indirectly sustainable ventures. The textile industry is one of the biggest polluters in the world thanks to the rise of fast fashion. 92 million tonnes of textile waste is produced every year (earth.org), and over-consumption of new material also produces other environmental and social costs, like greenhouse gas emissions from transporting garments and textiles and the poor wages and working conditions of many garment workers all over the world. That’s just textiles and garments; other consumer goods industries are also creating huge impacts on our environment, like plastics. Small businesses, however, usually feature handmade goods. This means small production batches made in good working conditions, and goods made to last, reducing waste. Many small businesses also choose to use sustainable materials, like ethically sourcing their materials to have minimal environmental impact. For my business, Okey Dokey, I choose to only use second-hand fabrics and clothing for many reasons. Firstly, it reduces the cost of creating the products, meaning I can sell them for less and they are more accessible for buyers.

Secondly, purchasing from op shops donates to charities.

Finally, using second-hand materials from my friends clearing out their closets, op shops, and bargain bins reduces the amount of textile waste going into our landfills.

Art is a notoriously elite field. Getting into galleries often requires years of experience, name recognition, or a lot of money. However, art in galleries isn’t the only kind of cool art out there! My walls are covered in art prints by independent artists. Buying art and art prints from student artists is a great way to get wicked and affordable art on your walls and supports emerging artists to continue their amazing artistic practice!

You might have heard “support small businesses” and 26

“shop local” recently, especially around Christmas time, but it is really crucial. Next time you’re thinking about getting a gift for a loved one, new art for your walls, or some new threads, consider small businesses and student businesses to get unique and sustainable options that don’t break the bank.

Are you a Massey student running a small business? Are you interested in being featured in a future issue? Email us @ editor@massivemagazine.org.nz

Jake Fisher Art @jakefisher_art I’m an artist studying my second year of concept design here at Massey. I began selling my art midway through last year, as being at Massey allowed me to gain the confidence and connections I needed to get my art out in the world.

I love producing new artworks and having people show interest in what I do.

My favourite part about running my small business is the ability to gain new connections. I find the art community to be a very comforting and safe space, I feel it is a privilege to be able to sell my art and show people what I love to do.

At markets, I really enjoy being able to see all the different stalls and products that people are able to create. I think it’s wonderful that we’re able to come together and show our talents, even if it is a small start. It’s fun being able to sell to other students, but it can be daunting as you’re really opening yourself up for criticism. However, that’s just part of the process, and it helps me learn about my audience and what they want to see.

If you’re thinking of selling your art, have the ability to be open-minded and be aware that not everyone will be a fan of what you do. It doesn’t mean you aren’t talented and shouldn’t keep trying, it’s all part of the process. I had two guys ask me how many drugs I took before creating my art, which is a fair enough question as I’ve always known my art to be pretty strange!

Mango Cat Creations @mangocatcreations

I’m Piper, a fourth-year concept design student, and I started my business two years ago, originally selling polymer clay earrings. I didn’t think anyone would like my art, so I made earrings for the Wellington Collective. When I started adding my art as stickers, I realised that people loved it way more than the earrings. Eventually, I learned to believe in myself more.

My favourite part of running a small business is the community, definitely. You make so many friends going to markets, both the artists and the people buying things.

I’ve made so many cool creative friends and I love the experience of selling work to others in person. Selling to other students is really cool as I find a lot of people know me on campus and I get to see a lot of my stickers on laptops.

My advice for people wanting to sell their work is believe in yourself and do it!

Chloe Stephenson @chloestephensonstudio

Hello! I’m in my fourth and final year of Concept Design at Massey. I was unlucky enough to have started my degree in 2020 with the old Rona, but despite this I’ve loved studying here and will miss it so much next year! I started attending Massey’s student markets in my second year with a couple of handmade crochet earrings and a sign I’d made the night before. My favourite part of running a small business is having the opportunity to craft my little heart out! Markets create a space for me to fund my hobbies and share what I’ve made with others! Lately I’ve been expanding out from crochet to general jewellery making and my fairy-core necklaces have definitely taken off.

to fill my table at my first market but it gave me the push I needed!

Okey Dokey @okeydokeynz I’m Tui Lou, and I finished my BA in Creative Writing last year, and I’m now a sub-editor and writer at Massive. As a creator, I’m inspired by second-hand fabrics and clothing to create one-off textile pieces. I love all things textiles and I’m familiar with lots of handcrafts, like hand embroidery, bead work, sewing, and lino block print making to add my illustrations to second-hand clothing. Recently, I’ve been creating soft toys from old wool blankets and second-hand buttons, cutting around stains and holes to give old fabrics a new life.

It’s amazing to see talented students following their passions at market days, and I love getting the chance to chat about different art forms and creating. If you’re thinking about selling your work, there is no better advice than to give it a go. Start an Instagram, go to the next student market, even start by making it known to your friends that you’re ready to make something for them!

My least favourite part of running a small business is the financial side. It can be really disheartening when the costs of time and materials don’t break even with what you’ve earned. Let’s just say if you want to get rich, being a market stallholder probably isn’t the right way to go. It’s absolutely wonderful to have so much support from my peers and Massey! It’s also really nice to sell to and buy from other artists who understand the artist’s struggles.

If you’re considering selling your work, don’t hesitate to give it a go!! Even if you only have a few items for sale, you have to start somewhere. I didn’t even have enough stock

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club day quiz

6. In which fictional clubhouse might you find Minnie, Daisy, and Donald?

7. ‘In Da Club’ artist 50 Cent was born in 1975. Adjusted for inflation, what would he be called today? a) $1.76 b) $2.78 c) $3.83 d) $5.02 8. Berghain, the famous nightclub located in an abandoned heating plant, is found in which capital city?

9. What year did Club Penguin launch? a) 2005 b) 2006 c) 2007 d) 2008 10. What is the second rule of Fight Club?

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Quiz Answer Key:

5. Which football club did Alan Shearer win the Premier League title with in the mid-ninties?

1. d) fourth

4. Which of the following is not a name for a type of golf club? a) Wood b) Iron c) Slice d) Wedge

2. Dry Ginger Ale

3. Which iconic 80’s actress plays Claire, ‘The Princess’, in John Hughes’ The Breakfast Club?

3. Molly Ringwald

2. What is the ‘dry’ in popular RTD beverage Canadian Club and Dry?

4. C) slice. This is a golf term, but not a golf club!

1. In a game of bridge, where does the suit of clubs rank in value? a) First (highest value) b) Second c) Third d) Fourth

5. The Blackburn Rovers

18 19 21 22

Arab country Largest continent by population and land mass A long, long time ___ Terror Major artery Unedited photograph, footage Sheep’s call Liam Neeson film Insect mound Art works with tiles Solemn vow Aus. state Kept an eye on Machine that thinks for itself Weirder than

6. Mickey Mouse Clubhouse

2 3 4 6 7 8 9 10 14 15 17

7. B) $2.78

Across

8. Berlin

16 20

Medical govt. department in UK Lady pigs Come first

9. A) 2005

11 12 13

Scream sound BBC fact show Expand Rodent Close together, tight-___ Engrave into

10. Do not talk about fight club.

1 2 5 8

Crossword

Crossword answer key: Down: 1) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH 2) QI 5) Grow 8) Rat 11) Knit 12) Etch 13) NHS 16) Sows 20) Win Across: 2) Qatar 3) Asia 4) Ago 6) Fear 7) Aorta 8) Raw 9) Baa 10) Taken 14) Anthill 15) Mosaics 17) Oath 18) WA (Western Australia) 19) Oversaw 21) AI 22) Stranger

Down

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30 Illustration by Eden Laing

APPLY NOW & DOODLE YOUR WAY TO THE WORLD FINAL IN AMSTERDAM BY

1

DRAWING YOUR DOODLE WITHIN THE FRAME ABOVE

2

TAKING A CLEAR PHOTO INCLUDING THE FRAME

3

SCANNING THE QR CODE, CLICK APPLY AND UPLOAD 31