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END OF THE WORLD ISSUE Malmo – Copenhagen Amsterdam – Arnhem Dusseldorf – Mechelen Antwerp Hereford Poynton Ghetto Tolworth Berlin Colchester


contents 3. 4. 5-6 7-8 9. 11. 12. 13-16. 17. 18. 19-20 21. 22. 23. 24. 25-28 29-30 31. 32. 33. 34. 35.

Dietsches Bowls Saffy colchester Mechelen / Antwerp Blackpool letters pipes CM/Dropout Euro ’09 Tolworth Zorlac – Feeble Brightlingsea Hereford Poynton Fleckney Market harborough Copenhagen / Malmo Oregon – Zachs pics Mile End Saffy Witham Mash’s Ramp / rom berlin

Issue 2 – 2009 More news & random stuff from Essex & beyond. A couple of road trips – usual zine stuff. The parks are popping up in practically every small town here in the UK. Quality & design is variable. My favourites in the last year; Colchester, Hereford, Tolworth. Special thanks to Zach for the pics & the meeting in Holland/Germany. Hope to print a few more copies this time. If you want to send any stuff for the next issue, please email it to me at


Bones heal – Banks get bailed out Not quite – but nearly end of the world. 100 year old retailers go to the wall 2 people lose their jobs /homes who actually cares? Will it happen again?

Some things in life, you think – well that wasn’t really as good as I remember. Others like The Factory Bowls are way better & you just keep on thinking about how somebody could actually dream up & then execute what is one of the Wonders of the Skate World. Thanks Dietsches.



Saffy session are always fun. Well unless you drive there & it starts to rain & you hang about for a while & then give up.

Feeble Chin


Colchester – Following a public consultation, the Gravity design was chosen. We are very lucky to have this Combi-Bowl.

To have somewhere as good as this makes things so much easier the time it takes to get to the park is now skating time.

Our Love Box


Opening Day was pretty good, we had the Vans team to visit. Rodney Clarke did an awesome job, running the comps & he can still skate.

Daryl & Becky made the journey & were there really early, thanks. This is the high bit.

Nice one Olly, this is a big leap.


Pete shows how.


Koen & Steevo. We dried this out for ages, but being November, it didn’t really get properly dry. This is a really nice skater built bowl. Located just past the railway line as you come out of town from the motorway direction.

Antwerp was also wet, at least the funnel was/always is skatable. 7

Keon is a local at the Team Pain park in Antwerp. The way he skates the Back Yard Bowl, with complete contempt, this is real pool skating.

Equipment Zac in the shallower bowl 8

Woodster. Sponsor me please.


Wakefield’s new park has been well visited this year. Even when it’s wet the ashtray is skatable.

£44 return for the weekend. Eurotunnel just makes Antwerp so close, you can touch it.

Highvalley in Stockholm, with a 600m slalom hill & all these bowls. Wow.


Letters Page

dear CM i took the free clamidia test (mainly for the free £10 odeon voucher) and i ended up finding upt i had it !!!! what should i do now ?? do i tell juliet i got it from her or what?? From JK

This is a tuff one JK, probably best you tell her, from what I hear she doesn’t have much chance of having caught it from you though. You are still such an innocent lad. dear CM i have 1 ball bigger then the other ! and all my friends laughed when they found out and now they will not stop making jokes about it like, get your big ball out, is your big ball is bigger than your willy? i dont no what to do PLEASE HELP cheers straight haired Jeff

Are you related to that Chinese guy - OneHungLo? This is a joke right? dear CM when me and my friends go on skate trips i always get moaned at for taking up lots of room in the car i cant help it if my legs are fatter then rat boys !! what can i do ? tom


"Dear Mrs Mistress, At a recent skateboard meeting I was informed that I should 'step-up' ones game. How does one do this? Are these steps available from Wilko's or Argos per chance? Yours expectantly, Ivor Gotnotricks (Mr). I wouldn’t worry about it mate, I’ve watched you skate, it wasn’t pretty. Maybe you could try dropping in that 3 foot mini at Dartford? If that isn’t possible I suggest you try rolling off a curb. I know it’s a big step up for you but that’s what they are talking about.

Yo C mis! me n my friends often argue could you please settle this, can you claim an early grab as a real trick?

Yes, any air can be claimed, Dear CM i got a really manly bear tattoo but my friends take this piss out of me saying it looks likes mickey the mouse ! what can i do ? barry

There must be loads of skaters/emos/hipsters with this problem. CM does not recommend tattoos for this very reason. How can you be sure the Gnarly Bear you request, doesn’t actually end up looking like Mickey Mouse, or even a Butterfly? If you get shotgun on a trip, on the way, does it mean you get middle on the way back?

This is one of my all-time favourite subjects - thanks for asking about this. In a nutshell, yes, Shotgun there does mean Middle back. There are a few circumstances where this can be altered; 1. When the driver calls “reload”. 2. If the passenger is in full Pirate getup (automatic Shotgun) 3. When there are free seats in the back. 4. You may get away with calling “not Middle”. There are many published articles on Shotgun etiquette. This is a good one. Quote from the official page; “Defending against bandits is no longer the priority of Shotgun however, but it has evolved into a pre-driving ritual that is experienced before almost every car ride across America and even the world. Because of the obvious evolution that has already occurred with Shotgun, we ask you to consider Shotgun as a living entity and be aware that it is always changing for the better good of society”. "Dearest CM, What can I do, I'm at my wits end? My Mum keeps turning up at the skatepark when I'm out with my friends. Naturally I want to be cool and just hang out with my Posse but I am finding this increasingly hard to do because of my Mums behaviour. Yesterday I was doing a 27ft high air but I knew I was going to have trouble landing it on account of my Mum throwing empty bottles of Stella into the bowl and shouting "...kin ave it you woossy limp wristed faggot or I'll come over there and slap you up good n proper you poof" as she was lighting up a strange looking cigarette. My friends say she's only trying to help but I feel threatened by her actions and the Social Services had be called last Thursday after she accidentally locked me in the cellar for knocking her Pot Noodle over when she followed me to ROM.

Yes, mothers can be a bit of a problem, trouble is Dave, you are now 45 years old & she still thinks of you as her likkle boy. Maybe you should be looking for a place of your own now? "Dear C Mistress. Which is bestest Kent or Essex? My friend comes from Essex and he says Kent is best. I come from Kent and I say Kent is best too. Which one of us is correct? Yours Sincerely, Mr E and Mr M"

Well, Essex has Saffy & Harlow & Witham & Colchester & ROM. Kent... oh Hippies. Nuff said, Sorry


Always on the lookout for pipes.

Woody in his pipe.


Amsterdam, Arnhem, Dusseldorf Editors Meeting – May 09 Cruel Mistress & Dropout Staff met in Amsterdam for a mini tour. Amsterdam has some great spots, take a kidney to sell if you are planning on parking in the city.


Zach Connolly, Ninja grind Marnix


Nice Metal Mini just over the road from Marnix Bowls. Go Sarah!

Yep this is the skater-built (Koog an de Zaan exit) A8 spot Nice Boys went there & it was wet, in REALLY bad conditions the rain comes through small gap between the 2 carriageways above, was dry for us though. 14

Arnhem - A Bridge Too Far.

We had to visit for the history; what we found was pretty amazing.

A Tunnel with transitioned walls (Best to try about 3am when no cars about) Some nice banks above the tunnel & the largest paving block area I’ve ever seen, all in blue & white.


Thanks Dietsches, even though you were away at a wedding. Donald Looked after us. To say that the Factory bowls are a must is a bit of an understatement.


Then finished up at Antwerp, this looks easy, it isn’t


Hereford Wheelscapes creation has the first on site Hand-made coping I’ve seen. It is not very easy to get onto the coping at any point in this bowl. So it should last.




Tolworth is one of Zorlac’s favourite hide-outs.


Zorlac again


Brightligsea Sessions Mash is back. So was Charlie, for a week or two.

Chin sometimes plays BBall with his homies. He still likes to skate a bit though.

If your wound looks like this... Go straight to the GP & get some antibiotics

I wonder when this cannon was last used in anger, yeah it might have been the Civil War we had a lot of battles here & Lucas & Lisle were shot behind the Castle for their involvement. 20

Mike aka “Rock Star” – BC mini Kick/Stale (Meal Ticket) thing.


Poynton After Hereford, they built Poynton. This is a great little park.


Fleckney is a new Gravity built park near Leicester. You could visit Market Harborough after this one maybe?

Hertford Bowl. I had heard about it a few times. It has a handy car park opposite & is in the main park in town. Nice mellow spot with cool spine & a roll over alternative. 23

Market Harborough. I think it is from the 70’s The wall thing used to have concrete coping on according to Zorlac. The drain has got huge gaps in it. Not a place for your little 52mm wheels.


Copenhagen – Christiania. Old hippy commune in the City. Look out for the Wonderland Shed, inside is a really nice bowl. Everyone is really friendly. No spitting allowed in the bowl.


More fun in Copenhagen can be had on the streets. These banks & blocks were designed for skaters surely?

When you get to the back of the side to all the for the twisted

Malmo, go around to station, opposite parked bikes & head tower.

Take the train across to Malmo, 25 mins ÂŁ10ish, over the humungous bridge.

Turn Right in front of this gun.

To say Malmo park has it all is an understatement, there’s even a wooden mini! 26

These pictures do not do the park justice – the scale of it is awesome & the finish is superb.


John Mag must be the nicest guy you will ever meet, he gave me a lift from Malmo, where he did chest high airs in the bowl just for fun - on his early morning park inspection, to the new park at Sibbarp.

Wez has been busy. Next pool dust due some time in 2009.


Wez wears Knee Pads, wise man.

That coping looks nice. Zach Connolly Duval – Thanks for these pics mate.


Still my favourite wheels

You guys have pretty good roadtrips. That one to Orcas we discussed would be nice. Pier Park, Morris Tail-Tap

Shawn in a kidney Portland back-yard


Mile End has a Gravity park now, the pool is really good. There is also a bank above a small bowl. You can park at the end of the lane just after the Railway bridge on Burdett Rd.


Just DO IT Mike. Nah we haven’t fixed this spot up yet.

Always so important to look the part. Nice one Cal. Penguins & Snowmen always go.


Witham. Great little bowl that has smooth Duracrete trannies.


Mr Reamers is well recognised now. Here we see him in a barn in Essex.

When it gets wet, this is THE hidey hole. Cheers for all the good times Mash.

Barefoot in ROM

Another place to skate in Bath


Berlin Skater built park

The old East Berlin area has a an amazing atmosphere & is cheaper.


Ghetto - LONDON


Cruel Mistress 2  

Skate Zine Essex

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