Mars Hill Newspaper Volume 17 Issue 4

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October 31, 2012

FROM THE EDITOR. MARS’ HILL

|THE TEAM

7600 Glover Rd. Langley, BC V2Y 1Y1 604-513-2131 ext. 3424

MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of

CHRIS MONTGOMERY

visual editor

Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and

MISSION TO MARS

JUSTIN POULSEN LAURA JENSEN

Take Make over the world

BETHANY ROY

SCOTT FORSYTH

photo editor

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LAURA JENSEN

EDITORIAL POLICY

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill

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torial board, Trinity Western University,

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JUSTIN SMITH

layout editor

SENIOR EDITORS Editor-in-Chief

Justin Poulsen

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Managing Editor

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BROOKE HIGGINBOTHAM

Visual Editor

SECTION EDITORS Larissa Kroeker News Academy Arts & Culture Sports

CHRISTINE RMAH

Humour

PRODUCTION STAFF

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Laura Jensen Photo Editor

Illustration Editor Layout Editor

ALEX PLENITS

Chief Copy Editor

DALLAS FONTAINE

OPERATIONS

Jordan Thiessen September 14, 1989 ~ October 18, 2012

Finance Manager Advertising Manager Web Presence

CONTRIBUTORS Hayley Gaynor Jaron Neufeld Marcus Kliever

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ADDISON PASIUK -

ADVISOR

marshill@gmail.com www.marshillonline.com @marshillonline

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COVER STATEMENT.

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Chris Montgomery

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Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Eating peanut butter and Oreo’s” -Kayla Ortlieb


October 31, 31, 2012 2012 October

NEWS.

LARISSA KROEKER larissa.kroeker@gmail.com

A candid date with candidates Their faces say it all. At least, all they said in the last debate.

YOU could read this page... Or you could just watch this Rap battle to sum it up for you.

Abortion and Birth Control Romney is currently opposed to abortion rights, though previously supported them. He proposes state aid to Planned Parenthood should be cut and abortion rights should be guided by state laws, meaning abortions should only be allowed in cases dealing with rape, incest, or mortal danger for the mother.

War He supports the plan to draw troops out of Afghanistan by 2014. Though he also plans to increase the armed forces strength by adding $100 billion to the 2016 Pentagon budget.

Immigration and is in favour of the U.S./Mexico border fence. He feels legal status should only be given to those illegal immigrants who will serve in the armed forces, but not for those who would just like to attend college. Furthermore he feels that employers should be punished if they hire citizens who do not obtain a legal status.

Guns He opposes the idea of creating new, stricter gun laws, but favours tougher enforcement of existing gun laws.

Debt Romney is opposed to the auto bail out. By the end of his

from where it is now. He also supports the balanced budget amendment.

Abortion and Birth Control Obama supports of abortion rights but prohibits federal funding for elective abortions. He also states that health care laws require contraceptives to be available to those women with workplace health plans.

War He made a big step towards ending the Iraq War. During this time he increased the presence of U.S. troops in Afghanistan to begin wrapping up the mission and have all troops out by 2014. He plans to cut $487 billion in military spending in the next decade.

Immigration Obama believes immigrants brought to the states illegally as children should not be deported and instead granted work permits, if such permits apply. He failed to deliver on a promise for an immigration overhaul, though he claims he is still committed to it. A record number of illegal immigrants have been deported under his leadership.

Guns Though his term showed no motivation to push for stricter gun laws, he has previously backed the idea of stronger gun control. During his term, he signed laws allowing individuals to carry concealed weapons in checked bags on Amtrak trains, as well as in national parks.

Debt Obama won approval to raise the debt limit in order to avoid default. He would like to take on the debt issue with a mix of spending cuts and revenue increases. He prefers that Bush-era tax cuts expire for those couples making + $250,000.

by Hayley Gaynor

Words from the Fathers “The domination of one faction over another, sharpened by the spirit of revenge, is natural to party dissension has perpetrated the most horrid enormities, and is itself a frightful despotism. Sooner or later the chief of some prevailing faction turns this disposition to the purposes of his own elevation, on the ruins of Public Liberty.” George Washington

“There is nothing which I dread so much as a division of the republic into two great parties, each arranged under its leader, and concerting measures in opposition to each other. This, in my humble apprehension, is to be dreaded as the greatest political evil under our Constitution.” John Adams

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Spending time with my family” -Vanessa Wiebe

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NEWS.

October 31, 2012

BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEW

Faculty to vote on union Necessary 45% vote reached.

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JEREMY COCKRILL

As of Monday morning, TWU faculty passed the

achieving union representation, having acquired the support for a union vote by 45% of the governing body. This vote will be held no later thanNovember 8. Unionization of the TWU faculty the governing faculty body (a group determined independently of the university) are required to sign an Independent Educators Association membership card. Secondly, within ten days of the

cards reaching a 45% threshold, the British Columbia Labour Relations Board is legally bound to hold a vote among all faculty. If 50% + 1 vote is found in favour of union representation, the Christian Labour Association bargaining agent for TWU faculty. for faculty, but also for the entire university community—staff, alumni, and current students. With roughly 24,000 alumni and current students, this group makes up the largest collective body of dialogue in the TWU community. As key stakeholders, the degree to which they educate themselves on this issue and participate in

its negotiation will heavily impact the success of the outcome—whatever that may be. In recent weeks there has been some concern that the faculty forming a bargaining unit will change the unique culture of our university. Some predict that this possibility will fundamentally alter the “educational experience” the university currently offers, which, for many students, is the primary reason for attending TWU. For example, there may be changes in the way that the university operates at a practical level, including costs, faculty-staff relations, and decisions about the content of, and manner in which, course curriculum

is taught. Most importantly, as mentioned by Provost Bob Wood, a third party mediation may inhibit the collegial feelings of community on campus. At the same time, it is obvious that the TWU faculty feel that they are jus-

now largely rest in the hands of the faculty, the quality of this movement’s effect on the university depends upon all other members of the TWU community—their attitudes, advocacies, and most importantly, their levelheaded and considerate conversation.

current system. It would seem that they believe the concretizing of many informal policies would improve the quality of education on campus.

this matter at TWU can be found at www. cretion of course) to better understand what

consequences, the prospect of unionization represents one of the most dramatic changes to the University since its accreditation in 1984. While the results of the union vote

NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKING NEWS BREAKIN

Canucks’ prospect faIlS

Though tensions run high due to the NHL lockout, it has been said that the Canucks top prospect, Nicklas Jensen, is likely to stay in Sweden, regardless of whether the lockout comes to an end or not.

TRUMP beats a dead horse attack In afghan mosque

On Friday, which happened to be a major Muslim holiday, a suicide bomber detonated explosives outside of a northern Afghanistan Mosque. During the explosion 41 people were killed, though the many senior regional Many of those counted in the fatalites were soldiers and police.

criminal returns to canada

Well known pedophile, Christopher Neil, returned to Vancouver on Friday, after being released from a Thai jail. Trial now awaits him in Canada, while controversy arises over what the general public feels a fair and deserving sentence should be for such a criminal. A global warrant was issued for Neil’s arrest in 2007, for sexually abusing 12 boys and distributing around 200 photographs of their assaults over the web.

Just when you thought the US Presidential debate couldn’t get more dramatic Donald Trump stepped back into the ring. The business mogul took to YouTube this week to request that President Obama release his college million dollars to the charity of his choice. As of yet the President has not responded.

7.7 Earthquake on BC’s Coast Hurricane sandy

On Thursday night Hurricane Sandy ripped through the central Bahamas, destroying everything in its path with violent winds and torrential downpour. This was after it had already raged through the Caribbean, where it took 21 lives. At press time the storm was making landfall on the Eastern Seaboard. Early damage reports include the Atlantic City Boardwalk being washed out.

A magnatude 7.7 earthquake struck 202 kilometers south of Prince Rupert. Despite tsunami warnings spreading as far as Hawaii, tidal stations reported only minor changes, with the highest wave being 69 centimeters. SFU geology professor Brent Ward said that the quake is unrelated to “The Big One” that’s been long predicted to hit the West Coast.

Scandal of the evangelical mind

TWU negotiates faith and reason. In an effort to unite the campus body in LARISSA the common KROEKER struggles for higher education and higher understanding, Trinity Western University has created a Faith and Reason Task Force. Dr. Jonathan S. Raymond, President of Trinity Western University, says that the Faith and Reason Task Force “has been established to facilitate opportunities during the current academic year for the students, staff, and faculty of TWU to engage in [an] important conversation.” With this new team, the university can challenge and address tensions that intersect the world of religion and academy. No longer are we limited to dis-

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In Monday’s chapel, Professor Calvin Townsend spoke on the “big questions” that confuse and challenge Christian university students regularly, such as “Why are there two creation accounts at the beginning of Genesis?” and “How old is the Earth?” The two ideologies that guide students through these big questions of university, and the rest of life, are the principles of faith and reason. Townsend states that “the idea of a ‘university’ is grounded on the principle of reason, so the idea of a ‘Christian university’ intersects both of the principles.” As university students negotiating their faith, they cannot ignore the principle of reason, or else we are “turning our

back on the pursuit of knowledge”— not only factual knowledge but also a relational knowledge of God. TWU seems to be at the epicentre of a conversation about where the balance lies between faith and reason. On a weekly basis, students negotiate Religious Studies classes that question the foundation of their beliefs; even the faculty are struggling with these questions, as some research dence that challenges the literal interpretation of the Bible. After Townsend’s chapel speech, the newly created Faith and Reason Task Force handed out a survey to staff, faculty, and students. They may not yet be able to answer TWU’s most tainly point us in the right direction.

Faith & Reason Task Force Bob Wood Provost; Professor of Physics Harold Faw Professor of Psychology; Assistant Dean, FHSS Bruce Guenther Associate Professor of Church History and Mennonite Studies; President of Mennonite Brethren Biblical Seminary Canada Myron Penner Associate Professor of Philosophy Arnold Sikkema Professor and Chair of Department Mathematical Sciences Amy Alexander Admissions Coordinator

Loriane Frewing Faculty Assistant, Religious Studies Rob Rhea Director of Student Ministries James Zelinski Executive Director, Development Kelly Lamb TWUSA President Jonathan Reesor TWUGSA President Bill Taylor TWU Board Member Holly Porra of the Provost – Operations

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Probably still wheeling after some guy” -Hannah Wanous


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October 31, 2012

NEWS.

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Laughing at ourselves

Terry Lindvall encourages us to maintain our inner child. On

a

rainy

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CAMERON REED

MH: TL: Chronicles of Narnia

Courageous,

Facing the Giants, -

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MARS HILL: TERRY LINDVALL: -

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” Prince

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Laughing with God A lecture summary of distinguished scholar Terry Lindvall. -

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LARISSA KROEKER

led an audi-

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LAURA JENSEN

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WHAT THE HILL

Sandeep Singh of Massachusetts was recently dumped by his girlfriend, only to win $30.5 million the next day. Without a girlfriend, the winnings are a huge relief for Singh, who currently holds two jobs and so will now be able to at least make some ends meet...He says he hopes to use the money to pay off his mom’s house and earn a business degree. Looks like he will still manage to have regular business time.

Two students in Indiana have been suspended for stumbling across a topless photo of their teacher on a school-issued iPad. Rather than exploiting the photo, the students immediately brought the issue to their teacher, who punished them for bad behaviour—by her. I guess some C’s don’t get degrees after all.

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Dancing” -Jess Kinge

A theatre in the UK was filled with twenty-five parents and young children who were expecting to see Madagascar 3. Instead they were treated to one of the most terrifying scenes of Paranormal Activity 4. The theatre was filled with screams as the audience ‘moved it, moved it, moved it’ to the exits.


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October 31, 2012

ACADEMY.

CAMERON REED cameron.reed@mytwu.ca

A president's guide to logical fallacies Understanding the manipulative tools of political rhetoric. men, and corporate con men, we are only too familiar with this type of manipulation. I was struck by the particularly presidential debate. The debates are the forum where most Americans, if they have not already sided one way sion about who to elect as president.

Red Herring

Straw Man

a diversionary tactic that avoids the key issues, often by avoiding opposing arguments rather than addressing them.

low argument.

Instead of answering the mediator’s very direct question about “trickle-down” economics, Obama brings up how he will help education, a subject with much popular appeal and which both candidates say they will support.

Ad Populum

Obama appeals to “the resilience and determination of the American people” instead of explaining how his policies helped anything.

10:00

Red Herring

3:25

any attempt at' emotional appeal rather than an appeal to either ethics (ethos) or logic (logos). Often employed in the form of narrative.

Red Herring

where a candidate stands on the various issues by what he or she says in a public debate. Instead, do research how they voted and acted in the past, to get a sense of how they will probably proceed in the future.

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the conclusion that the writer should prove is only validated within the claim.

Ad Hominem an attack on the character of a person rather than her/his opinions or arguments.

Circular Argument restates the argument rather than actually proving it.

3:54

Pathos

Obama uses a good chunk of valuable time to honor he and his wife’s engagement instead of the question.

ment from improper, manipulative rhetoric, and hopefully will protect us from falling victim to their manipulation.

Begging the claim

an emotional appeal that speaks to positive (such as patriotism, religion, democracy) or negative (such as terrorism or fascism) concepts, rather than the real issue at hand.

2:49

committed a number of logical fallacies: common errors in reasoning that actually invalidate an argument. tions of a few logical fallacies as they can help us distinguish a logical argu-

Ad Populum

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claims, I found that both candidates used emotionally charged key phrases to manipulate the audience. And even

Straw Man

Obama presents Romney’s position in an oversimplified summary and then attacks it.

Begging the Claim

Romney presents the state of the economy for evidence against the president’s policies instead of showing how Obama’s policies have led the economy to the state it is in.

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was persuaded by a sound argument rather than coerced by violence, like a slave or foreigner. We are all aware of the pitfalls of this craft. When art becomes detached from truth, when words stop pointing to what actually exists—when smooth speaking becomes simply a means to achieve a political end. Socrates denounced the Sophists, whom he charged with this crime; and in a world of advertising, sales-

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The ancient Greeks prized the art of rhetoCAMERON ric: the ability REED to sway a crowd of free thinking men with a thoughtful, gracefully delivered argument. Having leaders who could embody clear thought in persuasive speech was viewed as central to holding a democratic republic together. And for the Greeks, a free man was one who

Pathos

Romney tells heartwrenching stories of individuals who approached him for help.

Pathos

Romney rebukes Obama’s misinterpretation of his position by adding the fact that he is a father and he is used to such ungrounded claims. This addition is irrelevant to the argument and only adds an emotional appeal to Romney’s character as a “family man.”

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? "Dancing to Taylor Swift" -Lara Loubser


October 31, 2012

ACADEMY.

Politics is better than TV. Partisan media's attack on communal dialogue.

If you watch, listen, or otherwise CAMERON imbibe any REED American news media these days, you are bound to have noticed a trend: political media in America has become derogatory, rude, and unabashedly biased. Even major news networks like CNN or Fox News have widely acknowledged left or right-wing slants. If you turn on right wing news, you know what you are going to get, and vice versa. There is no dialogue between sides. Nothing actually gets talked about.

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information, the “conversation” hosted by partisan news networks has become unbelievably brash, incredibly insulting, and downright offensive. Campaign ads slander the character of the other candidate, and talk show hosts warn that the country will go to Hell if a certain candidate is elected. Dialogue, if there is any, has become extremely coarsened. In this climate, it is impossible to agree with certain aspects of one side and with certain aspects from the other. Instead, both sides dig their heels in and denounce the other’s position completely. If you are right-wing you have no soul, if you are left-wing you are an ignoramus,

There is no opportunity for com- ing an overly biased slant. They tried promise, for balance, for working to be objective, to present both sides things out. of a story. Now, with the advent of twenty-four-seven cable TV, it is not Ted Koppel, a legendary American broadcast journalist of the 60's able to have a channel devoted to and 70's, recently explored this a certain political or ideological coarsening of the dialogue. Kop- stance. pel interviewed spokesmen on both those following suit on AM radio, with sensational hosts like O’Reilly, pundit, Ann Coulter, and the liberal With them, he found a horrify- lion per channel per year (according inability to concede. Coulter ing to the New York Times). They do completely disagreed that there has so simply by spitting back out what been any coarsening in the dialogue, people already believe or bashing claiming that it is only now that the side that their audience already truly right-wing voices are being heard. Maher claimed the exact of entertainment better than they do opposite, that his side is “scream- that of news. They neither educate ing facts and truth” while Coulter’s nor foster dialogue. Instead, they side, is screaming “their version of simply reinforce people’s already truth, which is religious-based non- entrenched beliefs and further sense.” O’Reilly defended his own remove the possibility of honest show by saying that he is not nearly conversation. as offensive and slandering as many other talk show hosts like him, and that this is simply the way the game some perspective on all this mess. is played. In an essay, “The Importance of a From these terrifying interviews, Koppel concluded that this coars- against getting so caught up in a ening of the dialogue is in fact due particular cause (or political “side”) to the changes in the media indus- that you miss the place where all try itself. In Koppel’s day, there these causes should actually lead: were three major televised news creating a healthier community. networks in America. With so few If you have a commitment to options, none of these networks improving life in your own com-

leaves no possibility for the give and take needed for actual dialogue. chunk of their audience by present- see where diverse, often arbitrarily

opposed, causes actually align. make a difference, attempt to do so justice, for love, for the redemption and renewal of your community right where you are now. fever, I suggest a few things to help promote actual, honest dialogue, the hallmark of a “coherent” community. 1.Don’t consume partisan news. Try to choose sources of information that are bipartisan or at least aim at objectivity even if none is truly objective. Check out nonpartisan Voice of,” to explore the issues and 2. Talk about the issues with people who think differently. Among friends, family or strangers, honest and respectful conversation is one of the only ways to grow. And take advantage of being at this university. Whether justice and governance, or faith and culture, we have a unique opportunity to avoid much of the partisanship and actually talk about things. 3. Also, keep sight of the most important things. Whomever you being you in your community. www.isidewith.com/ www.youtube.com/user/2012 TheVoiceOf

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DISPATCHES FROM THE LLC If D.C. has taught me one thing, it’s that experience EMILY trumps degrees. ZMAK Yes, you heard a Trinity Western University student admit that her $80,000 degree is not the key to a successful career. I can stand on any street corner in this city and watch hoards of valedictorians clutching their Harvard MA’s and Yale JD’s rush into their government buildings. The harsh truth? In the treeless

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Trinity Western University…kind of mean nothing. I would never say that my degrees are useless, but I am suggesting that something else is more important. In the long run, my paperpushing, envelope-licking, staplesmashing, typo-seeking, letter-proofing, ladder-climbing internship may

be more useful. I hear it again and again. What matters the most on resumes are skills and experience. I was hired as the meetings intern at the Council on Foreign Relations because I can write and because I have traveled overseas, but mostly because I have been an intern before. My little practiwhich Ruth Anaya organized for me in COMM 351, acted as the foundation of my professional resume. In my interview, my supervisor wanted to know about my communication style, work habits, and mode of organization. While I certainly learned these skills in school, my answers were short narratives about my previous practicum. That's right: nobody asked about what I had learned in the classroom. Ouch.

The Council on Foreign Relations is a think tank that organizes meetings for 4,500 plus members tional relations and publishes the well-known journal Foreign Affairs. An average week of mine might include drafting speaker invitations, running microphones to members with questions, helping former ambassadors pull away the sticky-backs off their nametags, and emailing the New York headquarters with attendance tallies. My favorite part of my internship, of my unusual tasks have included festival movies from the National members from Mexico's Presidential entourage. EMILY ZMAK

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? " Shoving my face with food" -Alyssa Castellano

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October 31, 2012

ACADEMY.

Can you change the road you’re on? Using philosophy, before theology, to understand predestination.

I have heard many people talking about JARON the theologiNEUFELD cal topic of predestination since the beginning of school year. I wanted to share some things that I found helpful in approaching this topic through a philosophical lens, rather than citing a bunch of verses. In the space I’m allotted, I will draw upon some ripped off ideas from Thomas Flint in his article on Two Accounts on Providence that I examined in PHIL

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384 Suffering and Belief in God. Predestination is a theological topic wherein God “predestines” certain individuals for salvation (Acts 4:38; Rom. 8:29-30; 1 Cor. 2:7; Eph. 1:5, 11). For instance: “In him we have obtained an inheritance, having been predestined according to the purpose of him who works all things according to the counsel of his will” (Eph.1:11). God is traditionally understood as having foresight and active control of what will happen, exercising that control wisely and morally. How God is involved is

another question. But, rather than squaring verses to form an argument, I want to address the core issues of predestination: a) God’s knowledge, and b) human free will, from the perspective of Molinism, a philosophy of religion that I have found particularly helpful. The diagram below presents the three types of knowledge that God has according to Molinism, and three of the main possible positions on what kind of will we have as humans. Deeper issues are at stake here rather than siding with theological

titles. Truly, truly predestination is a topic that involves good philosophy in order to achieve a good theology... then you can side with your theological titles if you so desire. Clearly, if consensus among us is unattainable, theological diversity is all but assured. These are things that everyone who considers themselves a Christian theist should think about, since they pertain to the gospel message, especially in sharing its message. I hope that this will help nuance your philosophical and theological discussions in a constructive way.

For me, the idea of grace seems to imply that the choice of our faith and salvation is not up to God. It is sometimes said in Christian circles that our love of God has no value if our choices in response to God aren’t made freely. When God created, those people who freely chose salvation were predestined for one purpose; those who freely rejected it were for another. Thus, I’ll iden"There’s still time to change the road you’re on…and it makes me wonder."

Example: If Jesus went to Sodom, they would have repented

Example: All bachelors are unmarried God's Knowledge

Natural

Example: God created the world

Anything that is necissarily true, independant of God's will

knowledge of every truth, Free God's contingent on His will

knowledge of every possible truth, how His Middle God's creatures would react in any given situation

Nothing can dictate my free will at any time by any means

Human Will

God determines my choice to accept or reject salvation

I am free to choose or reject salvation

External conditions may impact my choice

Compatibilism

The laws of nature and history externally determine my decision

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? " Probably sleeping" -Alanna Peters

Choices are determined by Determinism God, prior to our creation

Libertarianism

A Molinist's Guide to Predestination


October 31, 2012

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BIG THINGS COME IN SMALL COTTAGES A

cross the bridge and up the path is the college affectionately known as the Redeemer Pacific “Cottage”. Thirteen courses are being offered at RPC in the spring semester. In addition to the course credit info listed, any course may be counted as an elective for any TWU Degree. Check out our cool new “reactive” design website at redeemerpacific.ca for full details.

ART 215 RP

Beauty and the Sacred Arts: Introduction to the Sacred Arts with Dr. Brooke Herbert An introduction to the particular genre of “Sacred Art” and the subject of “beauty” as central to the proclamation of the Gospel with which the Church has been entrusted. As such Beauty and Sacred Art will be discussed as properly the subject matter of Theology. The course reviews a broad historical study of the Sacred Arts beginning with Byzantine Art and Spirituality up until the present addressing aspects of painting, the written word, music and architecture. A primary focus is the genre of Sacred Art as it impacts the Christian individual, the Church and the world as a whole. Fulfills University Core Requirements for Arts, Media & Culture, and the requirements for an Art & Design Major, Art Concentration, or Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Tues/Thurs, 2:35 - 3:50 pm; no prerequisites.

COMM 120 RP

Introduction to Interpersonal Communication with Dr. Christine Jones Introduces basic self-awareness and interpersonal communication skills. Students learn about the nature of the communications process. The culture we live in is extensively formed by communications technology. The Church, aside from drawing our attention to the obvious pitfalls with the new media, is generally very positive about the world of social communications. Used correctly, these media can be a remarkable educational tool, and a means of evangelization. This course will draw from numerous Church documents on social communications to provide a set of core principles that can help guide young people as they navigate their way through a digital age. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Society & Culture; and meets the human competency requirements for a Communications Major, Concentration, or Minor; or Psychology, and Sociology Ancillary Requirements. 3 sem. hrs.; Thurs, 6:00 - 9:00 pm; no prerequisites.

ENGL 104 RP

Introduction to Literature: Drama and Novel with Vic Cavalli A critical and analytical study of two further genres of literature, drama and the novel, with a view to increasing understanding and enjoyment of literary works. A total of five works will be studied, including at least two works from each of the two genres. The course is a continuation of the art of effective written communication begun in ENGL 103 focusing primarily on expository style. Fulfills University Core Requirement for English, and the requirements for an English Major, Concentration, or Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Tues/Thurs, 9:25 - 10:40 am; no prereqs.

EDUC 203 RP

Foundations of Education with Dr. C.S. Morrissey A critical consideration of selected educational thinkers and the establishment and development of public schooling in British Columbia. An evaluation of prominent theoretical approaches to education and how they are rooted in certain worldview perspectives. An analysis of concepts such as teaching, training, indoctrination, tolerance, multiculturalism, pluralism and relevance. An examination of important issues in education such as the nature and aims of schooling, views of knowledge and the curriculum, and moral and values education. The development of a personal theory of education. Fullfils the course requirements for an Education Major, Concentration, or Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Mon, 6:00 - 9:00 pm; prerequisite: second year standing.

HIST 302 RP

Greece and Rome: Leadership in the Ancient World with Dr. C.S. Morrissey A study of the most influential leadership in ancient Greece and Rome. Plutarch’s biographical studies are the main focus. The various accounts of Herodotus, Thucydides, Aristotle, Xenophon, Livy, Sallust, Tacitus, and Suetonius are used as supplementary material. Fulfills University Core Requirements for History, and the requirements for the following: History Major, Concentration, or Minor; Humanities and Social Sciences Majors; Communications, Psychology, and Sociology Ancillary Requirements; and Social Studies Concentration. 3 sem.

hrs.; Tues/Thurs, 1:10 - 2:25 pm; Prerequisite: 6 sem. hrs. of HIST, or instructor’s permission.

LATIN 212 RP

Medieval Ecclesiastical Latin with Dr. C.S. Morrissey An introduction to Latin grammar and the basic vocabulary of medieval ecclesiastical Latin. Reading exercises are based on Jerome’s Latin Vulgate. The one or two-semester program of study is designed to prepare the student for independent reading of medieval texts of moderate difficulty. The course meets the requirements for Ancillary or Language Requirement for History, Communications, English, or Intercultural Religious Studies (Linguistics Track). 3 sem. hrs.; Mon/ Wed, 9:25 - 10:40 am; prerequisite for Latin 212: successful completion of Latin 211 or instructor’s permission.

PHIL 304 RP

Philosophy of St. Thomas Aquinas with Dr. C.S. Morrissey A study of seminal texts in metaphysics from ancient, medieval and modern times. The focus is on the metaphysics of St. Thomas Aquinas, but special attention is paid to his commentary on Aristotle’s Metaphysics and on his Christian interpretation of ancient metaphysics. The challenge that modern science and modern philosophy presents to Thomistic metaphysics is then discussed, with special attention paid to the highly influential critique of metaphysics made by Immanuel Kant. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Philosophy, and the requirements for a Philosophy Major, Concentration, or Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Wed, 6:00 - 9:00 pm; prerequisites: PHIL 111 and PHIL 303, or 6 sem. hrs. of Philosophy.

RELS 102 RP

Introduction to New Testament Studies with Dr. Brooke Herbert An introduction to the major writings of the New Testament (Synoptic Gospels, Pauline, and Johannine Writings), including an orientation to the field of New Testament studies in the same areas as under RELS 101. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies, and meets the requirements for the following: Biblical Studies Major, Concentration, or Minor; Christianity and Culture Major, Concentration, or Minor; Religious Studies Major; and Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Mon/ Wed, 1:10 - 2:25 pm; no prereqs.

RELS 224 RP

New Testament Theology: Christology with Dr. Christophe Potworowski A study of the New Testament writings, in their historical settings and chronological sequence, with the goal of acquiring knowledge of their theological unity and diversity. The RPC section of this course focuses on the person and mission of Jesus Christ as articulated in the New Testament documents and subsequently reflected upon in the early credal formulae and in the declarations of the Christian Church Councils of the 4th, 5th, and 6th centuries AD. Students will be exposed to positions of contemporary scholars on various New Testament-related Christological questions. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies - Bible Content (0-5), and meets the requirements for the following: Biblical Studies Major, Concentration, or Minor; Christianity and Culture Major, Concentration, or Minor; Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. 3 sem. hrs.; Tues/Thurs, 11:40 am - 1:00 pm; prerequisite: RELS 102 or instructor’s consent.

RELS 365 RP

Christian Moral Theology with Dr. Christophe Potworowski This course provides students with the theological background necessary to enable them to think with clarity about moral issues in the light of Divine Revelation. Given that the Catholic and Protestant traditions understand the fundamental theological sources differently the course will emphasize their common commitment to divinely revealed, scriptural moral testimony, while explaining their divergent perspectives with regard to the role of tradition. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies - Bible Content (0-5), and meets the requirements for Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. In order to use this RPC course for any TWU Religious Studies Department degree requiring Christianity & Culture (69) courses, please seek permission from the Religious Studies Chair. 3 sem. hrs.; Tues/Thurs, 2:35 3:50 pm; prerequisite: RELS 160 or instructor’s consent.

RELS 387 RP

Christian Theology in Ecumenical Dialogue with Dr. Christophe Potworowski and Dr. Archie Spencer A survey and analysis of the main achievements of the ecumenical theological dialogue pro-

cess among the Christian churches and the significant challenges still facing that dialogue today. In the spring of 2013, for the first time, this course will be teamtaught by two theologians: one is Catholic, the other is Protestant. The course meets the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies - C&C/ICRS (6-9), and the requirements for Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. In order to use this RPC course for any TWU Religious Studies Department degree requiring Christianity & Culture (69) courses, please seek permission from the Religious Studies Chair. 3 sem. hrs.; Tues, 6:00 - 9:00 pm; prerequisite: RELS 160, or instructor’s consent.

RELS 399 RP

Catholic Spirituality: Perspectives on the Catholic Tradition of Prayer and the Devout Life with Sister Gabriella Yi An analysis of the teachings on prayer and the devout life of Catholic spiritual writers whose teachings still enrich the life of the Church today: especially St. Teresa of Avila, St. John of the Cross, St. Bernard of Clairvaux, St. Bonaventure, St. Francis De Sales, St. Thérèse of Lisieux, and St. John Henry Newman. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies - C&C/ICRS (6-9), and the requirements for Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. In order to use this RPC course for any TWU Religious Studies Department degree requiring Christianity & Culture (6-9) courses, please seek permission from the Religious Studies Chair. 3 sem. hrs.; Mon/Wed, 11:40 am - 1:00 pm; prerequisite: RELS 160 or instructor’s consent.

RELS 465 RP

Influential Thinkers in the Western Christian Tradition with Dr. Christophe Potworowski An introduction to some seminal figures in the Western Christian tradition. The course investigates their thought and intellectual contributions within their socio-political context and experience. Fulfills the University Core Requirement for Religious Studies - C&C/ICRS (6-9), and the requirements for Christianity and Culture: Catholic Studies Minor. In order to use this RPC course for any TWU Religious Studies Department degree requiring Christianity & Culture (6-9) courses, please seek permission from the Religious Studies Chair. 3 sem. hrs.; Mon/Wed, 4:00 - 5:15 pm; prerequisites: Rels 101, Rels 102 and third-year standing (3-0).

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Asking for forgiveness” -Kaitlin Cyr


of de m oc

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In t t 20 af e’ll ab hre w 03 d ter ca ou e m ily ith , I sum ou ay, U noo ll h t po on so m t t n ns im li th Irv s m ha y b o P cle wa Un tics. s, w ine frie me tay er a n S i “I d g n a tch cl T he , d fa ed in do bee mo da E m to ing e Sa he re I Ca s man to n’ n c ut x o l h i ad d b h p k F m— u lea ifo n I t Un raq kno hew an ress hi ox N sp sba rne re m ia Ri cle .” w ing d s w s k ew en nd— d ar Th oc sed i c h i t d h e f w o aid er s s. h Sa en e a e rac , bu n e I an O is m ave . H m e y g r s f o sh or om o d ne ur age oun U.S wo t sa lo lo e fo do e a B o m p a o d . r fe m t ul fe eth en e u ke to st i r a ne. ske h m t d ro en the pre ks. . Th w in ed d p an co t. H p I d m e h an an o at t” at is av ye g c si ch d me e a lan did e m e g ar I is an is th litic s fo has orn den ief q to sk . I n’t w s e no s a a r e : d o t . on t ue t b l ne . T ues h ed di k ha H th bee r, a ial th Am e h e i t n e dn o w de s a ha in ng e se he tio is n n m ow m th t t s g ag las sh d ele er co e ’t w. e y n c e “ h c a i o ar un wh ha H sh o t r Ex Th ca s e p t o t e c u p n i m tw v o o “ r a t rid his try at ve e ou d pr at n p So eop Dem acy re h loud hle the ent o ed d litic ns , t ri on ask ld th e s yo emo ess, a oli l m w c e w e s g h e p d o o to is p om om h ht e. ed eo em ” o cr ork ard st co ro see on own al an u p cra U fter tics P H a i t n t p m “f he hil . m n e ma s h I h e ta d ay tic nc no . ew r os en rofe le, ocra r “p cy” s. Th ou seq g si s hs. wa n o ad i s we nt sing for en le S on i b s t d s i hs ue de to ze titl so y cy eo me s a er me an ” r ich oph d s ch a to .” . H gag am a n n p e e o i i , In sh d r H ts s e le an m ol ath or s y i no are ce f sil -inoo lso en To e em t t o ig e s it, ip “C ee pe m h s “ en t t s , se h ga o to e au th d ho th ial A d crac arc r th ron tha t sh : T ulti soo op pow avi rul ne e w o to ave ge man ld m nt is ght e o e y hy an g t t it e ow va n le, e ng e ot ss, a . A th ak c ex a tin B fo rm p of th ur m gue mo . re an in y o e t so me Pan h t pl rd g ai r e o th n e ing an m Un p f o m hr er’ of d de e in . “D cra n w ain s w ain c ol us “s et tha a i ol “p p on D s o m s c e d t m t e p ar ug s pu : s y r i e s ig eo o ly le iti a h hi t o a s In m ot p of r.” y f h ho tt ar p w l th rod ocr st an lo wo th te o e e p S cs re u ng

T G OM A n G a ia fo E l r o w

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Fo rt he

10 October 31, 2012

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Hanging out with Lindsey” -Eric Dupuis


cr ac y

h po Sa s e ut g n og o rc ple wer lea h d r t ha er oc e a eo its is In for ea oes ting hy .” , t d or m b rel up tis at b uce acy. fo d h ue rks t t su rat p ple ly st ec uc pl tha an tru ch an o m in s ” un ea wh th he bje ic ap . is Th he A a o e e u d e , t n d r o r d in ry us u c C “ no at e r i d G t r o d b y a t s m m in o nd em th se se n s m r i e i u fo . W e t i u t e , e sc vit ita “m y r o u en nv t i pe de nu ion ” in gh ivi o er’ ei lve rm e t cr usi i y h g B r o i u n p i t . r s w i a ow y gh r et du cr s e ng s r i p ” a o n o l t ed t o i r l us ic c of in i e p a u s n co le a e pu n” rig ts, dem you ali acy yes th in e h al t to te gh po me mp , n ndi v act say sha en i h s . s ” e r , ea th po pr ts an oc rs tic no er a thi he s pr m per a l ssib nt as ot i ng, uln ivit s, “ re t i w . h c s e n o b ” r y s d cla m se b a y s ne orl h gr ese se son ove le wh ion n b th era y is th an bet n er ker phe im wi of lem “Yo the cy tak ocie lf, . d l e e a a o r r b c a t c i e a o r a r v t e t e n f i a e e t a r o s t es s“m th de . T ur y do ofte ing ty, en Th t lov tio a la Wh f th n o su e so d p kin lity su fus pur a un pla f u o b . Th e a e n p n n r e c y r the mo hey righ gg n s it. wo re ga u e o , rg n o ly h lid tr d ti re t o ive ce d id e ig fre cr b ts edl pe Pe rd vid spe gem s, f m but e pa I h the be en ari iocr on? we o ra se. A rsit to b erst ge t wor ht e ac el ” y ak o g r t i c k i p o s.” do y iev ar u o d ua t en th y p t rt st tic Wh no ise nd y. I e s and he ld n l a cr ag y. a i t g o wh emo l ri for t is eer is al of d m s a eat eu Th m a is t e t e “y rsu f s diu sm ile w th ur yet wa hap ing ap eed ot en cra sk. th beg id . so tha y sep ed e p nd o hat ou e d m O s . f e h a s h a e th t i vie ath her w tic As e ins eal ro po pro th r Gr isag ar , it s th bam e an and ow fou d fo The nd ro s w ou ’s e a i B oth n bl w vi e p ’ r r s r s m a s s r th n e r ey a w u ug el s d t e e w em er de h fre spe ght su re a n s ai s er ith dem ac ey w ted eme ovo a w sp and er t nle any ed f his no wi to lat ct s, bj b pi ay th k c , o o s o n o e i e e l l o r s f th pt ill n pe t i ng nd ak Ro th s w f u r ca Th ions ully p ctiv e to it , “W rou ove cra er to m e q e’ s n o y e e g t a e p o l i o th e hi co U ur ver le a ven th a ney ue re e h a ic i rc ty o n s be ha ca me th at n di f so ink wor p.” n ept an pen d c be ind nd a nve ncl a io d u ha co iss ci er ld e d lie ve n re e m en face em if rsa S n on al s p a t m r f s t i b f s a d n s h a r c ub , sh to c e if l m o er tio m an en at es yo e op e h lass igh y o e jec e ar ea ter ce ga the pe m y o tion ent n w wa ar ro te f e u p c t r m p y . g s s a t do or h o st in t in B h it an em he te to o ou h n lm ly -s tio r d no tun . B m. m tere hou ion ut oug h a ot e u ca nt of ne bj ns t o ity ut lis y w ste gh s t nei ht, not int co to o ed ec ffe to ou ten ill. d i ts t o b the pe her ere t ph c ur s ri ity r c , to So n h o im e r r w rce p sted on ha fo cri t y ng rum tith w las ev in im pa ece as pti ers in in e ith sr er s a c iv I. on on a e v s n to th e t s t e o p rsa ch ou om yon ead an his d. I w , a of th e ra olls tion alle r cl s e e , le ins . I w I w ant nd e cy . B r ng as an qu t’ tr a an ed wo ec ath e sm d all s s um s o ted rk au er eac at ris y. L pe en nl s. se th h es. k e ak t y th an ot Le vul t’s an of at w he t’ ne go d is ait r w s a ra in ho ing it cc bil w u h c ept a nti on , de l t m he oc -

October 31, 2012

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Making a pb & j sandwich and foreplay” -Mitch Sorensen

11

THAT

GUY


12

October 31, 2012

ARTS & CULTURE.

EMMA SPANJER emma.spanjer@mytwu.ca

Feel good incorporated

Should our love end when our music does?

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CHRIS MONTGOMERY

In these increasi n g l y divided times,

common hatred towards ‘The Biebs.’ A couple of years ago it was the Jonas Brothers. Before that Miley Cyrus, Kelly Clarkson, N’Sync, New Kids on the Block… The point is, hating musicians is something we all do; but it’s not necessarily something we’ve always done. Prior to the 20th century, music -

Every musician, from Bieber to Bach, turns to their art as a way of expressing what they are experiencing in a moment. If we criticize their expression of that moment, are we not also criticizing the experience that gave birth to it, and those hoards who share in a similar experience? Some of us don’t have the voices or rhythm to express our longings as a beautiful sound, let alone a sound that sells. That’s why we turn to others to help us negotiate those longings—the

here is the breaking down of music’s reverence—the wall that separated it from the people.

and nostalgia in the thrashing electricity of Led Zeppelin. Now, I’m not going to sit here and say that I like all types of music equally. I don’t. In fact I’m probably on the pretentious end of the musical appreciation spectrum. Few hipsters deny the mastery of The Beatles; but

waves, and audiences heard famous artists singing about their lives— famous artists like Justin Bieber. Starting off as a 14-year-old kid busking on a street corner, the tools of today’s industry enabled him to eventually share his passion with others. And they liked it...a lot—as in 3 billion views a lot.

recent break up in the country twang of Taylor Swift; the 45-year-old man

cize the the offspring of the modern music movement, you inevitably criticize its parents as well. It may be capitalistic; it may be a machine; but its a piece of us. You shouldn’t care about my piece. The 15-year-old girl doesn’t; she cares about hers. Music has become a personal experience that not only helps us get through life but facilitates our understanding of it. Modern music is a form of self-knowledge. We can’t fully understand the weight of themes like love and death at a young age, so we negotiate simpli-

And more importantly, each know in that moment. The antsy child on a church pew picking his nose is not given two glances. The same cannot be said of his father. Likewise, to the 22-year-old student Taylor Swift is a guilty pleasure—you know there is more to life. But to a 15-year-old girl who has barely lived, that music is her life. So blast your pop and scream your ballads. While I’m playing my “Satellite of Love” I promise I won’t

our appetite matures and we require richer content for nourishment. We move from Kesha to Cohen, Pitbull to

the music that is your life, but don’t hate the music that isn’t, because we were all 15 once.

made Owl City possible. If you criti-

NU

ME

turn of the century brought about decades of economic uncertainty and a grim realization of our own mortality. Here we were forced to reconsider what we held sacred—a painting of a cherub on a cathedral ceiling, or the life of a wounded brother in the muddy trenches. Of course we chose the latter and, in doing so, called for the art world to become increasingly personable. The result? A soundtrack for making love, not war. Music transitioned from demonstrating Western culture’s spiritual superiority to its citizens’ lonely and heartbreaking inferiority. That’s not to say there was no longer a spiritual element. Look no further than Bob Dylan to see a direct and dire longing for something greater. But it doesn’t take a music effeciandio to see that the focus of the medium is drastically different from two hundred years ago. The transition further snowballed with the birth of the peace and antiestablishment movements of the 60’s. Jimi Hendrix and Joni Mitchell now wrote the hymns of the generation, with the music being shaped by the people as it was shaping them. But this phenomenon was not without abuse. As the middle class continued to grow, people had more disposable income and were looking to buy some “feel good” from whichever industry could supply (‘cause

longer being created solely out of the stirring of human soul. The industry did not have time to wait for a stirring; art had to be created faster and faster to feed the insatiable appetite of the masses. Welcome to the 21st century breakdown. (Yes, that was an intentional Green Day reference.) You could argue that this breakdown refers to a slow tearing of society’s moral fabric. One need only look to the grocery store checkout stands of the nation to understand that there has been a blasphemous trivialization of what is sacred and good. But the more important, and more

yet). So, no longer needing the Divine, artists looked to the dollar signs (or drugs)—moving towards a goal rather than from an inspiration. primarily by its entertainment quality. more artistic? Suddenly music was no

Jesus in literature

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Going for a naked jog” -Shad Mayne


October 31, 2012

A&C.

13

A coherent review on some characters who aren’t. Violent psychopaths— one of HollyMARCUS wood’s favorKLIEWER ite cash cows. But writer/director Martin McDonagh is brilliantly aware of this fact. His Seven Psychopaths dissects, criticizes, and admires the psychopath thriller genre from within the genre itself. This is a movie working on many different levels. At face value, it’s an entertaining, dark comedicthriller. But it also explores the role of violence, satisfaction, and audience

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The plot is set in motion when con

artists unwittingly steal the beloved pet Shih Tzu of a vicious gangster. This unleashes an unpredictable chain of brutal, tragic, and hilarious consequences. The characters drive and I wouldn’t want anyone else behind wheel. Most movies are lucky to have at least one memorable character. Seven Psychopaths has...seven. The characters are brought to life by one of the best ensemble casts in years. Christopher Walken masterfully balances chopath. Sam Rockwell plays an irrational con artist that frequently evokes

Night Shylamalan could shake a stick Woody Harrelson effectively portrays a trigger happy psychopathic mobster who is willing to kill for his cherished pet Shih Tzu. And Colin Farrell, Tom Waits, and Linda Clay deliver just as memorable performances. The writing is top notch. Aside from fantastic characters, the dialogue and pacing kept me engaged but stands as a truly unique piece of work. The juxtaposition of shocking violence and hilarious dialogue gives tum. It has more plot twists than M.

strongest feature, diverting into offbeat tangents that successfully set it apart from its genre peers. The directing is equally effective. McDonagh has a talent for knowing when to let imagery breathe. There is an exchange between Walken and Harrelson’s characters that involves almost no talking, which Mcdonagh captures simply and with restraint. This restraint gives us one of the personal favourites of the year. However, Mcdonagh is perfectly capable

of long one-shot takes and superbly odd angles when they suit the context. This more extreme directing style is expertly applied in the chaotic third act. body. The brutal violence, coarse language, and unconventional narrative directions will no doubt turn away some viewers. However, if you can stomach it, Seven Psychopaths is a surplus of sequels, remakes, and paranormal activities. As for the rest of you, when has Christopher Walken ever been a waste of time?

Finding Jesus in literature The God of the Bible is also the God of the arts.

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EMMA SPANJER

I follow Jesus because of where and who

be—in literature. A couple weeks ago other students spoke in Chapel about why they follow Jesus. As was the intent of the service, I began to contemplate my own reasons for believing in this man. At the end of my contemplative period (does it really ever end?) I came to the realization that while scripture and basic theology are fundamengleaming in other places too. I believe that the Bible, church services, and prayer are ways to draw closer to Christ, but there is also like bits in other sources. The beauty of goodness illustrated in the arts, particularly literature, can be so pro-

found. Faith messages in novels have the ability to cause soul searching and tion will reveal the deepest truths— indeed they often shine like a polished jewel. A Prince with no monetary inheritance, lost without those he loves, continually offering himself as lover to all, especially those who reject him, he cannot stop loving even those who commit misdeeds against him. He is cast out by society as a fool for his simple ways of grace, goodness, and seemingly naivety. This is the character of Prince Myshkin that Fyodor Dostoevsky paints in his The Idiot. This man who cannot help but show compassion, who cannot be corrupted by material the very end, whose love can save his friends, even the most shameful of

them, is a beautifully, if unconventionally, constructed image of Jesus. The story doesn’t follow the story of Jesus in the same way the Chronicles of Narnia do, in a fantasized allegory of the scripture. It simply tells the story of a man too good to function in normal society, unrecognized as perfect by others, and misunderstood by most. I found faith in Anna Karenina: Tolstoy’s character Levin is that of an unconventional aristocrat, a rather emotional fellow who searches for a and worthlessness. The best image of Levin is of him mowing with the peasants. He, the landowning nobleman, -

his heart is for the workers. It is the

ultimate irony that this man, who is made up of goodness, should think so poorly of himself. In the end, he has an epiphany, all his earthly desires, life still looks bleak. He has a wife and a son, but he still feels purposeless. But in his deepest moment of sorrow, he begins to understand that truth, for which he has been searching, is goodness revealed through Christ. And he is able to love the world again. Fiction can be more than a mere representation of real life. The fact that it is “made up” does not decrease the legitimacy of what is written. As we read these stories, our hearts pound with real pain—real sympathy for a “fake” person. Indeed, Levin’s existential despair is not an uncomfer from things like this. But as G.K.

us that dragons exist, but because they As portraits of humanity, these novels inspire me. These characters prove to me that life is supposed to we struggle with self-loathing, futility, the desire to be good, and are haunted by our shortcomings. But the moments of joy give us hope, putting us on steady ground even for just an instant. Through Levin I see an end to want to know and follow and be loved by. I see Christ. Their words may not be printed in red ink, but they still resonate with His truths.

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “This encourages people to indulge in their vices” -Jaron Neufeld


14

October 31, 2012

A&C.

Despondancy in San Diego The allure of the artist and the disillusionment of Youth.

When I found out we were going to see Dave EggEMMA speak, I knew SPANJER ers something was going to go wrong. A sunny San Diego spring vacation with three of my best friends—it was too good. A writer’s symposium featuring my favorite author was the impossible cherry on top. Calling Dave Eggers my favorite author may have been a stretch; at the time I’d only read one of his novels. But it was one of those books that impacted everything in my life and it was all I ever thought about. It made me recognize the unspoken movement of Youth, the way bad situations are actually adventures, the way we’re all copy cats, the way everything that happens is wrapped up in irony, the way our responsibilities are overwhelming. He awakened me to these things that I always felt but never

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knew and it made me feel legitimate. I remember San Diego like a scene from a movie. The four of us looked like characters and everything we did and saw and thought and felt could have been tagged as ‘indie movie’ moments. We walked the warm streets of Mission Beach and met locals who spotted us, clad in our summer clothes, as tourists. Friendly “to-do” advice received, we’d part from these interactions high on adventure, intoxicated by these strangers’ forwardkindness. Every day we anticipated the time we’d return to our hotel and go for a sit in the hot tub. The hot tub was magic. Every night new people appeared as ships do at ports—only we remained constant. We met a lawyer couple that got real with us about their marriage and a woman who had also lived in Canada. Full of shy wisdom, a middle-aged, newly-wed Mormon couple shared with us their lives, and we laughed

with two recent graduates relaxing before they had to return to jobs and banalities. Their stories made us soar. I realized that we were independent from everything and I thought that this was true life. This life was free from responsibility, free from parents, school, parents, work, free from the bonds of life that I hadn’t realized Eggers wrote about. At the symposium I sat by the university’s librarian—an older, stuffy man who had never heard of Dave Eggers. Offended by this ignorance, I tried to be polite and engage with his chatty nature, but he wasn’t relevant to me; I detested his age, his seemingly dull remarks. He hadn’t even read Tolstoy—what kind of a librarian was he? I quickly forgot him when my author—my philosopher king— entered onto the stage. Naturally, the interview was centered on A Heartbreaking Work of Stag-

gering Genius—his most famous novel and the one that I had read. This was the moment I couldn’t believe was happening. I had so many questions, so many things I wanted to discuss. Yet, as questions were asked, I began to feel a hundred people suddenly share my thoughts. Everyone had the same questions I had. Some were even better than mine! What did this mean? I am like everyone else. But I thought I connected to this book; no one else felt the things I felt, because I alone understood this tragic man! Ignorant, foolish girl! You are average—your love of art is universal. More disturbing than these fast forming self-realizations were my hero’s answers. When asked a question about a particularly profound sentence he had written—“Secrets do not increase in value if kept in a gore-ian lockbox, because one’s past is either made useful or else mutates and becomes cancerous.”—he laughed and shrugged

it off as something his silly, impassioned younger self thad thought up. It didn’t mean anything now. This sentence, this paragraph, this chaphim thirteen years later. Was my Dave sitting there now really the same brilliant artist that I had always imagined? Sinking down into my chair, I glanced at the librarian, and felt he was no longer the odd-man out. I buckled down for the rest of the interview and it was not entirely depressing. He talked of his new projects and wonderful achievements. They were not spurred by the sporadic, chaotic impatience of Youth, but by recognition of things to be accomplished. Youth was not lost, only tamed, but it wasn’t the same. It reeked of responsibility and stability, of “grown up,” of a-little-less-self-entitled. There in that moment I knew this was no stench— it was how we all must smell one day, and maybe then it will be sweeter.

MEREDITH OVERMYER

Ellie Goulding /// Halcyon

Alt J /// An Awesome wave

Anberlin /// Vital

The British synth-nymph is back, and she’s conquered the often career-breaking sophomore album with ease. I expected Halcyon to have a series of bassy dance tracks; and those elements remain, but are often pinned back to make room for Goulding’s soulful vocals. And rightly so. Almost every song is an intense progression that begins with ing along, then rising and stomp-

If you are uncertain as to whether you’re a bobble-head or a metronome, don’t worry, Alt-J’s debut studio album is here to help sort out your method of groove. An Awesome Wave is ripe with a collection of catchiness expressed through captivating yet basic piano and guitar, grungy synths, and mathematical drums. The syrupy bass and whimsically weaving vocals will compel you to get up and swerve across the

indecisive lover, and culminating in some ecstatic howling at the sky. Despite the more victorious theme, she manages to maintain her darker edge—particularly with her Active Child cover—and surprisingly dodges the mainstream dubstep wave, despite the fact that she’s currently dating Skrillex.

opaque “Fitzpleasure” versus the lighthearted feeling of “Sounding Good” or the instrumental “Interlude II” work wonderfully, giving the album a welcomed diversity.

Sharp authoritative drums, a hornets nest of guitar riffs, and soaring vocals that threaten to jump the track at any moment—you’ve never really noticed music until you’ve heard Anberlin. Many fans are labelling Vital as a sequel of Cities, to which the lead bassist Deon responds with “a punch to their rate albums; but not necessarily in a good way. Where Cities pushed the capabilities of each artist’s instruments, particularly Stephen’s voice, Vital seems preoccupied with synth experimentation. It works, but isn’t nearly powerful enough to compensate for their simpler melodies. Still, Anberlin consistently thrusts you into the darkness only to watch you

on DECK

with Bryce Perry, Justin Poulsen, and Chris Montgomery

Taylor Swift /// Red

7 This review is rather unnecessary as you’re either already blaring this album non-stop to your disgusted roommate—or you are the disgusted roommate. But considering it’s the to-back sales of a million copies, it deserves a look. For all Red’s lyrical

to describe the same themes of broken hearts and broken boys.. It stalls

stride in more musical experimentation, including a guest appearance by Gary Lightbody of Snow Patrol, and a brief and surprisingly effective venture into dubstep. The problem with her exploration is the near-exact immitation of her pop counterparts. Did I just switch to a Katy Perry song? Was that Kesha? Lily Allen? found myself unsure whether to go clubbing or go crying.

8.5

get you groovin’ in the most chill, cool way possible.

9

8

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “All my favourite things: making friends, hugging . . .” -Joey Meraw


October 31, 2012

SPORTS.

CAMERON STUERLE cameron.stuerle@mytwu.ca

The women’s soccer team

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ANDREW PATTERSON

on Friday night at Rogers Field hoping to advance to the Canada West Final Four with a win over the University of Manitoba Bisons. The Spartans, ranked number two in the entire country, were to face an unranked Bisons team. They had no trouble with them when they faced them back on September 22nd, shutting them out 4-0. Knowing that it was an elimination game, the Spar-

The Women in yellow and blue goal just three minutes in. It was Jenna Di Nunzio on the far left side Krista Gommeringer and Alicia Tessan to give the Spartans a 1-0 lead. Initially the goal was called offside, but this was overruled by the head referee. The Spartans continued with an outstanding defensive game from the back end of Colleen Webber, Jil-

ian Dietrich, and Jennifer Castillo. The Bisons also had a strong defensive game as they did not allow many chances for the Spartans. to get through the clogging Bison defense with another beauty by Di Nunzio for her second of the game in the 43rd minute. The goal was a great team effort, as the play was started by Natalie Boyd. She slipped a great pass to a speedy Gommeringer, who then crossed another beautiful pass to Di Nunzio for the goal. It was now 2-0 for the Spartans as the game headed for the second half. The Spartans did what they needed to do in the second half: play a strong defensive game. There was no goal for either side in the second half. It was a game of possession and strong defensive play. The Spartans only allowed one shot on target, while they made eight shots on The Bisons. They were also the only team to have a corner kick as they took seven corners, while the Bisons had the game with their eleventh shutout of the season.

“Any time you play a game where your season is on the line, it’s pleasing to win,” remarked Spartans coach Graham Roxburgh. “In some ways it probably kind of hurt us that we scored early because I think it lulled us a bit to sleep. But credit to Manitoba. They defended well and never gave up. While they didn’t get any clear-cut changes, we didn’t really generate anything ourselves. I thought Krista Gommeringer’s intelligence on the second goal and Boyd was probably the thing that With the win the Spartans will advance to host the CW Final Hour where they hope to continue dominating their opponents. The Spartans match against either the University of Regina Cougars or the University of Saskatchewan Huskies. They’ll at Rogers Field on November 2nd at 4:30pm, so come and support your Spartans women’s soccer team as their impressive history.

Spartan men can’t breakthrough The Trinity Western UniCAMERON versity Men’s Soccer team STUERLE went into a home-and-home series with the second-ranked University of British Columbia this past weekend, but were unable to break through and get the two key wins they needed. Heading into the weekend, the Spar-

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with two victories. However, UBC, needing only one tie or win over the happy to play lockdown defense and

survive the weekend. UBC was able to force their will, play it safe, and take the Spartans to a draw at Rogers Field on Saturday. Evan Lowther was his usual

the season and fourth in six games. Normally, shutouts are something to be specially celebrated; unfortunately, UBC’s Luke O’Shea returned the favour by rejecting all four of TWU’s shots to record a shutout of his own. None of the shots on either side were particularly close to scoring, as neither goalie had to work too hard.

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As a result, both teams knew their fates heading into the rematch in Vancouver on Saturday. UBC would Canada West Final Four, while TWU would have to play the 3rd place team from the Prairie division to earn a spot in the CW Final Four. The rematch was far more exciting and eventful, but since the result did not matter, it’s hard to take any of the results too seriously. Andre Costa his last regular season game, and Nathaniel Turner added one of his own. UBC countered with two goals

of its own to earn another tie, 2-2. Despite, the unimportant nature of the game, both teams pressed for the win late, and Costa nearly won it for TWU, as he beat the UBC goalkeeper. Unfortunately he shot one just wide with 11 minutes remaining to bring the game to a stalemate. TWU had a longshot chance at to get the breaks they needed. The Spartans can’t sulk about that now though, as the season will be on the line this Thursday against University of Calgary. The Dinos are a dangerous opponent for the Spartans; TWU and UC met once this year way back in

SCOTT STEWART

September and played to a 1-1 draw (sensing a theme here). TWU badly outplayed the Dinos with a 23-8 shot attempt advantage and a 10-1 corner kick edge. The game on Thursday and all CW playoff games are in Edmonton, because the University of Alberta is the number one seed and the host. This actually doesn’t make any sense since UBC has a betLast year, the Spartans were playing well and were thinking about contending for a national title. That dream was derailed in the CW playoffs; we will see if the Spartans have learned anything from last year’s heart break.

Rapture What at midnight, what would you be at 11:45pm? “Frolicking field of dandelions” -Naomi Watson are you most excited fordoing this year? “Events like thethrough BananaaChallenge” - Jen Newman


16

October 31, 2012

SPORTS.

Men’s volleyball season starts off .500 Spartans win and lose to Thunderbirds; Plocktis sets impressive numbers.

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ANDREW PATTERSON

The Spartans men’s volleyball team took ANDREW PATTERSON to the court twice this past weekend in a series against the University of British Columbia Thunderbirds. The two-time defending champs were ready to make an opening splash to start the regular season after a long preseason. They played two very strong games but only pulled off one win against a talented UBC Thunderbird team.

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UBC did the same in the fourth set, tying it up 2-2 as they went on to the just could not keep up with UBC, los2-3. This time it was the Spartans turn to host the match, as the Thunderbirds arrived at the Langley Events Centre this past Saturday and tried to pull off another upset. With setter Jarrod Offereins injured with a broken ankle, it was the debut of

headed to the War Memorial Gym

did not disappoint as he collected

was a very close game but they saw a 2-0 lead fade away as UBC came back from behind to win it 3-2. The

year Spartan) and led the Spartans to a 3-1 victory over the Thunderbirds. trailed UBC. They consistently stayed

match by hitting .222 and .361, comattack line.

immediately came back to grab the quick lead, from a Dan Jansen Van there the Spartans did not lose their lead as they continued their consistent plays both offensively and defensively. They showed the T-birds why they were the champs in this set, In the second set, the Spartans did not change their game plan. The T-birds, however, stepped it up a notch and grabbed the early lead. The UBC lead did not last long though, as the Spartans came back error. The Spartans turned on the jets once again and went on the win

SCOTT STEWART

With a 2-0 lead the T-birds did not give up as they started to play a strong offensive game, leading most

Nicholas Del Bianco had an impressive set as he led the Spartans with four kills and two aces. The Spartans It was a much closer second set as the T-birds threatened with an early lead, but it was a great effort from the Spartans as they came back to steal the lead, when Brad Kufske After UBC took a time-out, the Spartans showed no mercy continuing to After losing the third set, the Spartans pushed back with a domiwas a great set both offensively and defensively for the Spartans as they the series with a 1-1 record to start the season. The Spartans will head to Regina to compete against the Cougars this weekend, then returning for a four against Thompson River at the LEC.

Spartans split with UBC Spartans take one step back, two steps forward. The Spartans Women’s Volteam CAMERON leyball began the 2012STUERLE 2013 season with big expectations and a new lofty standard that had never before been bestowed on the program: a national number one ranking to begin a season. Their thinking was understandable, as all six of the Spartans’ leading attackers from last season returned to the roster this year. The top spot also came with a little scrutiny consider-

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national champion. Despite any preseason tournament results (TWU beat for both squads), there isn’t any argument to be made that the champs should remain on top until someone shows that they can bleed. Nevertheless, The Spartans and Thunderbirds had a chance to make a statement about who was really number one, as the two squads squared off to open the new season with a homeand-home series. at UBC was surely one to forget for the Spartans. UBC came out strong and never looked back in a brilliant display of dominance. The Spartans dropped

early, leading to an early timeout with the score 7-1. TWU turned it around and staged a furious rally to bring the score back to within two points at 12-10, but that was as close the Spartans got. UBC turned it on and ran The Spartans actually took a lead in the second, at 2-1, but were unable to stay close with UBC after that, as

might be business as usual for the T-Birds. However, TWU got back into the game with a thrilling second set victory. The two teams went back and forth until TWU broke a 14-14 tie with a huge 11-3 run. They took the set convincingly behind kills from four different players, a service ace by TWU took the third as well behind a big run with Royal Richardson serving and took the set behind a bevy of UBC

a full set in the third, as the Spartans even had it tied at 20-20 late. Ironically, the third set was the only time the Spartans had a negative attack percentage (kills minus errors, divided by total attacks). The Spartans ultimately completed the sweep and ran the Spartans out of War Memorial Gym with a convincing win. Just as it began to look like UBC would remain the queens and TWU still wasn’t ready for the spotlight, everything changed the next night at the Langley Events Centre. The Spartans showed incredible resolve on Saturday night and took it to the champs, showing that the number one ranking may not have been premature after all. The night began rather inauspi-

points came on UBC mistakes. TWU put the nails down on UBC’s set win to take the match. The Spartans ran up a .262 attack percentage and clinched the win with a kill by her new role as the team’s setter. It’s only one win but it certainly helps to mitigate the blowout loss on the right direction for the remainder of the season. TWU won’t play a currently ranked team until January and will have a chance to go on a big run

SCOTT STEWART

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Praising my homeboy G-O-D” -Mackenzie Dunn


October 31, 2012

SPORTS.

17

Welcome back to the hard-court

Ring in the NBA New Year with your powers of prediction Welcome to your (somewhat) compreCAMERON hensive (okay, STUERLE not comprehensive at all) 2012-2013 NBA season preview. To help get you ready for the upcoming season of professional orange round ball, I have compiled a list of bets on the upcoming season to help preview the season and make a few predictions. Feel free to take my picks to the bank and earn yourself some…chicken nuggets; because that is what you win when you gamble... not cash, never cash. Who will be the worst team in the

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league? Charlotte Bobcats (+100) The Bobcats are one of the worst teams ever assembled, but will get competition from their usual cellardwelling companions, the Washington Wizards, and bottom-feeding newcomers, the Orlando Magic. On the note of the Magic, how exactly do you get into a four-team trade, give up the best player, and get back the worst package of assets in the deal? The Magic could have gotten three decent and shed over $20 million in annual salary with Houston, yet settled for… that. I love terrible General Managers sometimes; it gives me hope that

REC SERVICES Intramurals player of the week

Get to know your Bombers

I can run an NBA franchise someday. Will Derrick Rose come back too early and do more harm than good for his recovery? Yes. (+450) Just shoot me now. In other words, bet the under for the Bull’s win total at 47½. I’m going to go crawl into this corner and sob for a while now, if that’s okay with you. Atlantic Division winner: Toronto Raptors (+10000) HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, just kidding. I only wanted to throw in the fact that the Raptors are +10000 to win their division. NBA MVP: Kevin Durant (+350) LeBron James is the best player in

Chicks with sticks Missing hockey because of the NHL lockout? Look no further for

year, but struggled to recruit enough players and played many games and ready to make their mark in the With a full roster, padded by players from the community, the girls are putting in two practices a week to hone their skills and become a stronger

Sarah Klassen

Jason Koepke

Year: 4 Major: HKIN (Kinesiology) Hometown: Duncan, BC Intrmurals Sport: Basketball Funniest memory of Intramurals? A game of 3 on 3 (to 11 points) where

Year: 3 Major: Environmental Studies Hometown: Richmond, BC Favourite Pro Sports Team: Canucks If I’m not playing hockey you can

everyone was playing too badly and couldn’t score. We got kicked off the court by the next team scheduled to play! Most inspiring sports movie? Remember the Titans How do you get pumped for games? A lot of visualization, progressive relaxation, and positive self-talk. Favourite pro athlete? Candace Parker

Analyzing dirt. What does it means to be a Bomber? Dump and Change

about the full roster and seeing the girls grow in their hockey skills. fering a unique opportunity in its

the Lower Mainland can boast that. tember to March. The team is always looking for more recruits, so if there are female hockey players out there, send an e-mail to twutitans@hotmail.com

the world and should win this award every year for the foreseeable future. However, sportswriters get tired of voting for the same guy every year, so they end up picking the next best guy, so long as he hasn’t won before. This is how both Karl Malone and Charles Barkley once won MVPs over Michael Jordan (Remember that? That was fun). Count on seeing the same thing happen to LeBron and take Durant. NBA Champion: Miami Heat (+200) Oh, was it ever tempting to put the Lakers here and exercise a reverse jinx to ruin their season. Thankfully however, Kobe Bryant still thinks he’s the best player in the world and will con-

tinue taking bad jumpers with a hand in his face, trying to feebly break the career scoring record while sabotaging the Lakers’ title chances. LeBron is simply unstoppable at this point. He started to go into the post and became the player we were all waiting for him to be last season. Now that he and the Heat will steamroll to another championship.

HAPPY TIMES Happy 61st Birthday Nick Saban! Saban, better known to Auburn, LSU, and all college football fans in general, by nicknames like “Nick Satan” is responsible for ruining college football. In an age when high-powered and fun offenses are all the rage, Saban is one of the few guys holding everyone back with his suffocating defense and unimaginative and plodding offense. The sad thing is it works, as Saban has two national title rings including one last year. Luckily, Oregon will be around to defeat Alabama on Jan.7 and liberate us all.

Happy Anniversary Oregon Ducks! I try to keep my Oregon fandom out of Mars’ Hill as best as I can but allow me to morph into Oregon Guy for a second here… On this day in 2009, Oregon decimated USC 47-20 at Autzen Stadium to signify the end of USC’s dynasty atop the Pac-10 and the beginning of Oregon’s reign of terror which is still ongoing. Oregon and USC will meet again in Los Angeles this Saturday. Oregon will win this game and it will be a blowout because USC is soft and they have no depth at any position. USC is about to become the 9th of 14 footnotes in Oregon’s ascension to the National Championship.

Happy Trails to Maryland’s Quarterbacks! Maryland has gone through the worst injury epidemic I have ever seen in college football. Terrapins QB Caleb Rowe tore his ACL last Saturday against Boston College and became the fourth Maryland QB to suffer a season-ending injury this season alone. Maryland now has no scholarship QBs left on its roster.

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Playing twister” -J-Biebs


18

October 31, 2012

HUMOUR.

KAITIE SIMONSON kaitlee.simonson@mytwu.ca

you’re allowed to laugh at this page.

Croc your world The latest ‘feat’ in shoe technology. Never has there been such a polarCALVIN McCONNELL izing form of footwear as the all-weather slippers known as Crocs. In any color, and on any person, they are a truly repulsive fashion choice. The only occasion in which they are not out of place is 2am at 7-Eleven during a Cheetos run. They make your feet sweat. They squeak. And they inform others that you have completely given up on your appearance. So why are these shoes so popular? Well, they say the best defense is a good offense, and Crocs are nothing short of offensive, so there should be a solid case to be made. First, they’re perfect for bad weather. Fashioned by NASA for space travel, the holes in the sides and top of a Croc are scien-

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that cools the foot in hot weather; yet they are small enough to retain heat in the winter. Furthermore, the Crocs are made out of pure Crocodile skin (hence the name Crocs). This, as we all know, is why Crocs are waterfriend-proof, and living proof to the point where shoe technology cannot be advanced any further. Secondly, they last forever. Like actually, forever. So for roughly the price of two cafeteria dinners, you can own a piece of history. Now, I know there may be some tree-huggers in the audience, but I feel purchasing

Thirdly, and possibly the biggest selling point of Crocs, is how they feel. I know what you’re thinking: “How could walking around in ventilated crocodile skin be comfortable?” Well it’s not. Saying that Crocs are comfortable is like saying that cats are terrible creatures. I cat even describe just meow unbelievably pawful they are. I’m not kittying! So since there are no earthly words to fully describe how Crocs feel, I’m forced to use analogy: wearing Crocs is like wearing two unicorns on your feet while wading through an ocean of Nutella, while millions of tiny marshmallow people are blowing

warm fresh-baked-cookie-air on you and massaging your feet with their fuzzy-slipper hands. Try them. You’ll see. You may still think that you’ll never wear Crocs, and I get that. I was there last year. Then through divine intervention, a pair of light blue Crocs happened to appear in my dorm, and I wore them in what started out as a joke, and ended up as true love. I’ve asked parents about

how they felt before and after having twins, and the answer is usually the the prospect of twins, but once the babies were born, they only wished they had more. And I think it’s the same with Crocs. Once you have a pair, you’ll want Croctuplets!

rationale that is so prevalent in 21st century academic philosophy: YOLO.

The elephant on campus You know you do it. Walking on the path preparing yourself to smile at someone and realizing too late that they have already chosen to look at their “text message” over you

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KAITIE SIMONSON

Desperately scanning for where your friends are sitting in the cafeteria while pretending to get napkins at the condiments table

Twirling your keys around on your lanyard until it gets out of control and you hit yourself or heaven forbid somebody else

Hating the music in the lower cafeteria, but still singing along to all the lyrics

Walking into the wrong classroom

Being scared out of your wits when the geese hiss at you

Starting the year off strong in hip outfits, but quickly turning to plaid and socks with sandals everyday

Realizing that no matter how many times you’ve gone through them, the lower cafeteria doors are push rather than pull. . .or, wait . . what?

Either killing or running away from a silver fish in your room

Almost getting run over by the club cars driven around by mad men (ie: maintenance)

Nonchalantly slipping your dirty dishes into the collegium sink while the CA is looking the other way

Getting upset with the slow internet more because your youtube video is taking forever to download rather than your “mycourses” homepage

Trying to push open both of the double doors in Fraser, only to find that one is locked

Going to the library as a means of socializing rather than studying

Trying to play it cool after slipping in the Atrium and hoping nobody else saw

Hiding in your room when the fire alarm goes off

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Primping so I look good for Jesus” -Kristy Crozier


October 31, 2012

CREATIVE.

19

inspired by

[spaces]

FFFFWWWWS

TIM ANDRIES

“Let us dance in the sun, wearing

arranging business. Walters does

Weddings and other events have

Flowers are festive things—no celebration is anything without a

ers herself. She suspects the neighbours know her well. Husband Mark in tow, she jumps on her bike, scissors in hand, in search of the explosive beauty of Dahlias, the deep fragrance of lilac, the tiny beautiful pet-

ers stemmed from the realization -

Western University, Jessica Walters,

Jessica Walters featured artist

arrangement business. Her parents bought a farm, home to a vast and

kitchen table was decorated with the how Finding Flowers began. -

not ignored. Welcoming friends open up their gardens to her shears, and farmer’s markets have great selections too. Finding Flowers ensures a bride’s bouquet is entirely unique, certainly not traditional, but perfectly beautiful.

were married this past summer, and ments for the weddings; bouquets for the brides and bridesmaids, table arrangements, boutonnières, and corsages. thing Walters loves, but it’s also unconventional places, rather than

process, she tends to stray from the traditional red rose combination in an advantageous exchange for a garseasonally; waking up early on her own wedding day, she picked the dahlias and various other in-season ments. Working primarily in spring and Walters is able to balance the business with her student life. Indeed the future of Finding Flowers is as bright as any marigold. To contact Walters about a wedding or event, send an e-mail to

kept low for brides. In her selection

THE WALLS HAVE EARS

We all know profs are a fountain of knowledge...and comedy. Email marshill@gmail.com with funny and short things your profs say in class.

TIM ANDRIES

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Eating a cupcake” -Natasha Obzera


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October 3, 2012

DE-CLASSIFIEDS.

marshillonline.com/de-classified

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff , the student association, or that of the University. In fact probably not. Type in “When I’m Nigel” on youtube, this video will cure cancer. Dear Awkward Chapel Couple: Have you ever heard of leaving room for Jesus?? You should try it. Two weeks ago, people were washing my dishes in order to impress my roommate who is a CF. They probably would have vacuumed my floors if I asked them to. I WANT FORT WEEK BACK. Allison, Remember that time you beat me at Dutch Blitz? Neither do I. Heather James...? I didn’t know you went here this semester. What I don’t understand: why two people would get together for purpose of social interaction, and then proceed to break out their iPads and play fricking Draw Something. I find it strange that the Northwest building is in the Northeast corner of campus . . . What do you do in the event that a girl walks into your dorm when you are naked? Do you avoid her for the rest of your life? Apologize? Pretend it didn’t happen? Or tell her “let’s not make a big deal of it, lots of people have one”? “Hi I’m Bonnie Brooks...” *changes channel*

Dear Mars’ Hill, there is a different between Facebook and Twi"er. Sincerely, #TML (Too Many Links!) Cue the sweatpant and Uggs combo If Taylor Swi! writes one more breakup song I’ll... probably sing along to it in the car. LOLZ at Alex Burton using the most iconic quote of his rival’s iconic father #leaderbidfail... Oh wait, this is Langley and nobody cares #LLCAlumniProbs Mars Hill is busier on Facebook than Andrew Stewart! 11:07 has been so good this year. Do yourself a favour and go!! dear smiles with eyes, please stop hiding in the business building and venture to my side of campus. It’s ge"ing harder to “casually” bump into you. From, girl stuck in neufeld.

Next time you give girls free Justin Bieber tickets, give them to girls that you have a shot with!

What’s the record for dinners at Kotanen’s house? Anybody over 20? To the TWU student cheering with the Brazilian fans during the PanAm Cup . . . I saw you . . . watch out!

Kelly and Colin—power couple on campus

Bring Back the Sexperts!

The only thing in the world as dumb as guys are girls for liking us. -Fignewtonz I feel like every time I talk to someone of the opposite sex I’m being evaluated for my potentiality as a significant other. nice touch with the tea lights, you sure know how to woo the first years in my dorm. THAT’S HILARIOUS

THE HIMNAL

What do you call a fake pasta? An impasta! Am I the only one who gets scared senseless when the air conditioning turns on in the library basement? I’m like rich, like fill up my gas tank ALL THE WAY rich I play Russian Roule"e with the train every morning...CN RAIL SEND ME A SCHEDULE He shows up with a T shirt tighter than my headband, red flag? Have you even watched The Breakfast Club? Yeah, Bender gets the girl, but only a!er he was tormenting her for the entire movie! If that’s your idea of chivalry, then I’m concerned for you. Crunchy Danger Haystacks? -That’s ma’ name. Tigers are female lions right? -Certainly taste the same. Everyone tag Andrew Stuwart in their Denny’s posts. Mi" Romney spo"ed, rels 300, front row

Colton Martin

Did anyone else notice the clever layout on page 13 of last issue?

DRINK

I’ve been looking all over campus for Ma" Rubuliak so I can ask him what he’s studying.

Sometimes I can’t remember if I tweeted something or if I submitted it as a de-classified. Can’t let the worlds collide!

Stuart Kno" just got laser eye surgery #ladiessssssss

FREE

Dear Math, Please grow up and solve your own problems, I am tired of solving them for you.

I judge female pop singers by how a"ractive the boys in their music videos are.

How mad would the boys on campus be if I snuck into their rooms in the middle of the night and cut off all their mullets?

*

I live in constant fear of accidentally mentioning something I only know about you because I’ve stalked you on the internet.

I choose the middle urinal just to piss guys off.

A “Keep Me Signed In” box in the Student Portal would be nice.

ONE

There’s too many geese on campus. Let’s make another Task Force

Never trust anything that bleeds for 7 days and doesn’t die...

Every time the lights go out in the library, expecting there to be a weeping angel staring at me when they come back on.

GET

BUY ONE

Ricky says #3: “Every time I see someone with a guitar shirt on I have the urge to push them into the water and see what happens.”

Year: 2 Height: 5’10

Communications

Hometown: Jayapura, Indonesia Denomination: Gereja Kemah Injil Top quality in a future mate: She will Fave preacher: My grandpa need to be able to give up North American comFave Bible verse: Romans 8 forts to be a missionary in Indonesia for the rest of her life. Fave hymn: “Be Thou My Vision” Idea of perfect date: Dinner at a beach- Skill that makes you “the one”: front restaurant in Bali. Table for two. Sun setting Climbing coconut trees. Opening coconuts with a machete.

Deal-breaker: Swearing. It’s so unladylike; Good age to get married: 22 Best place for a first kiss: The dinner- such a turnoff. special lineup at Sodexo. Because you’re so spe- How many kids do you want? 3 kids; 2 cial.

Best pick up line:

*excluding matcha

older boys and one younger girl.

If you were a leper, I Love language? Physical Touch and Qualwould still hold your hand, even if it wasn’t at- ity Time tached.

Rapture at midnight, what would you be doing at 11:45pm? “Living the thug lyfe” -Anna Funk


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