Loch Ness Monster Spotted in the Trinity Pond

Milo Fritz

The Loch Ness Monster was seen swimming in the Trinity Western University Pond late last month. A student spotted the cryptid while taking a walk around campus, stopping to watch the ducks. When asked to describe the event, the student stated that it was exciting, awe-inspiring, and a little bit confusing.

The Loch Ness Monster, as her name suggests, hails from Loch Ness in the Scottish Highlands. Why on Earth has she relocated to the pond when there are so many better bodies of water to choose from? Perhaps she grew tired of being a tourist attraction. Perhaps she wanted to pursue post-secondary education but wasn’t allowed to enroll. I don’t think that ducks cryptids are allowed to go to university. Regardless of the reason, she lives in the pond now. She swims peacefully among the ducks, though she is definitely not one of them.

The student who saw her said that she was smaller than they expected and looked like she had feathers. Before the student could get a closer look, the Loch Ness monster (or should I say the McMillan Lake monster?) dove underwater and swam away. Thankfully, the student was able to take a photo of the cryptid before it vanished. Now the entire student body can see proof that there is a monster, not just another duck, inhabiting the pond.

Be sure to keep Nessie’s whereabouts a secret; if she attracts too much tourist attention, she might relocate to an even worse body of water, like the Fraser river or the duck pond at a local park.