Oh No, My Bracket, It’s Broken

March Madness is back and with more upsets than ever. For only the second time in NCAA tournament history, a No. 16-seeded team has defeated a No. 1-seeded team.

On March 17, the No. 1-seed Purdue Boilermakers were defeated 63–58 by the No. 16-seed Fairleigh Dickinson Knights (FDU). March Madness fans watched their brackets crumble as Purdue got sent home.

This was a jaw-dropping upset that had the world of the NCAA quaking. Last year, FDU went 4–22 and lost their own conference tournament that would earn them the NCAA automatic bid. This season, they approached their match against Purdue at 21 wins and 15 losses, compared to Purdue who was 29–6. Before FDU’s shocking win, No. 16 had an overall 1–151 record against No. 1. So, this question remains: How on Earth did Purdue lose?

FDU is the shortest team in the tournament this year. As for Purdue, they have 7’4” Zach Edey who has been named the tallest player in Big Ten Conference history. In a sport like basketball, a height difference this drastic can make or break a team. Despite this, FDU’s relentless defence challenged Purdue’s star center and somehow outplayed Purdue. FDU’s starting guard, Sean Moore, was a notable player on the court as well—scoring 19 points to help put FDU ahead.

Trinity Rangers’ events run smoothly. “So far we have had roughly 150 people take part in Rangers events, but the program is still young and has so much potential,” said Jurgeneit when asked about the future of the Trinity Rangers. The plan is to continue the program in the Lower Mainland, but Jurgeneit and Moody say that there is no reason why the Rangers program cannot expand to every campus in Canada: “The bonds we have made at the Trinity Rangers are meaningful and everlasting, and we want to share this experience with as many people as possible.”

After the game, ESPN announced that the upset between Purdue and FDU left zero perfect brackets remaining out of 20 million brackets completed. The NCAA predicts that only about 2.36 per cent of completed brackets chose FDU to beat Purdue in the

Men’s Bracket Challenge Game. It is safe to say that everybody thought that Purdue would take this one— they were a No. 1 seed after all. How could anyone predict such an outrageous upset?

These upsets have been somewhat of a pattern for Purdue these last few years. This is the fifth time that Purdue has lost to a double-digit seeded team. Some may suspect that Purdue’s losses are associated with head coach Matt Painter. Every single double-digit seeded loss for Purdue has been under the reign of Coach Painter. Nevertheless, Painter has still won more NCAA tournament games than he has lost since 2017. Either way, it might be best for Painter to fly under the radar until March 2024.

With Purdue being one of four No.1-seeded teams in the tournament and already out for the count, everybody’s bracket is up in the air. With Kansas being recently knocked out as well, it is tough to know which team will come out on top. Good luck with the rest of your bracket, people: you are going to need it.

David Witzke

The Strombeck building is one of campus’ lesser-known wonders. A place that TWUSA presidential-candidate Joshua Driediger once described by saying, “What? Where’s Strombeck? I’ve never heard of it.” Known for its windowless rooms and terrible temperature control, Strombeck is a destination you won’t want to miss. So here are the top 10 things to do in Strombeck!

1. See the dog poop stain in the basement. One of the Masters of Counseling people brought their dog, and it pooped on the floor. You can still see the stain because they can’t get it out of the floor.

2. Raid the game lab. Pay a visit to TWU’s one and only video game development lab. If you go at the right time, you can see some of the students have a mental breakdown while working on their game project! Or you can watch them play League of Legends and see the same thing!

3. Go into the boiler room. Don’t go into the boiler room.

4. See the Film TA’s email. This year’s MCOM TA wrote his email on the whiteboard wall in September, and no one has erased it since. It’s simply a part of the room now. We might need to bleach the walls to get it off.

5. Walk around the psychology lounge. Fun fact: people keep their doors unlocked. You can pretty much walk wherever you want as long as you look purposeful. Grab a ladder and a high vis vest to blend in and go get the snacks from the faculty lounge. Their paper cutter is nice too.

6. Go shopping for costumes. Apparently, there’s some sort of costume shop, and you can take whatever you want for free. The theatre majors don’t mind as long as you leave a tip (here’s a free one: buy low, sell high).

7. Find lost Education department artifacts. The education department recently vacated the building for greener (better) pastures and left behind a host of ancient artifacts. Become Indiana Jones and find lost relics like misprinted banners, lesson plans, and well-paid teachers.

8. Add a salmon poster to the wall. The environmental science profs have some fun posters down there. You can add whatever you want to the walls; they don’t care. As long as you cite your sources, you can put a Finding Nemo poster up for all they care. Yay, science!

9. Visit the eldritch demon in back storage. There’s a little door marked electrical behind the costume storage room. Behind that door is the lair of an eldritch demon known as TOM. He’s friendly for the most part but does feed on the occasional soul of a film student.

10. Get run over crossing the street. Strombeck is right next to the shortcut that gets you across campus in half the time. Stand in the middle of oncoming traffic and get hit as science and nursing majors go full speed around a blind corner. Fun for the whole family!

Sadie McDonald

As a young writer, I am no stranger to rejection. I lost track of all of the “We regret to inform you” messages by the time I graduated high school, and while I am grateful for the resilience rejection instilled in me, I was still caught off guard by this new creature: the rejection of the student journalist.

It starts like this. In every two-week cycle, production week rolls around, and my time in between attending classes and completing schoolwork is filled with editing, staff meetings, and proof-reading. Headlines run through my head at night only to be vanquished by the satisfaction of picking up Mars’ Hill in print.

Yes, Mars’ Hill. Our beloved student newspaper that has been the subject of controversy, criticism, and celebration. Unless you are in your first year or have just transferred in, please do not pretend like you do not know what Mars’ Hill is. Even if you do not read it, you have seen it, or have at least heard of the Declassifieds.

Issue release! We set up our table, complete with the classic red tablecloth, fake plant, and the unofficial mascot, the Mars’ Hill bear. And then: “Mars’ Hill!” “Would you like a copy of Mars’ Hill?” “New Mars’ Hill!” And . . . why are my hands still full of papers?

Here are all the ways people say no to a copy of Mars’ Hill. Reader be warned, some of these are just embarrassing.

THE

There is one way to catch a liar in the act, and they should be glad we do not call them out on it. You see, it is easy to spot a falsehood when it is already proven to be untrue. These people do not want a copy of the paper because they already have one! “I got one already,” they say casually, not realizing how silly they look when they pass the table that was set up five minutes ago empty-handed. Sure you did, Chad. But at least they did not say perhaps the worst lie heard to date: “I got one yesterday!” Girl, it came out today, what are you saying?

THE SHRUGGER

This legend looks at us from across the cafeteria and shrugs. Yes, and with a meek “ehh” to go with it.

THE IGNORANT

It is one thing to be ignorant. It is another to be feigning ignorance. As they stare down at a newspaper, they say, “What’s this, a magazine?” No, it is actually a pamphlet containing all of your deepest secrets in life, including the fact that you like to pretend you do not know what a newspaper is.

THE

When asked if they would like a copy of the newest issue, they say no, like about 60 per cent of people. When they pass by the table again and say “still no,” I have to admit that it hurts.

THE

Yeah, stare at your phone so intensely it is as if it is burning a hole into your face. You can no longer hear us offering quality journalism because the blue light is calling your name. Please do not walk into a vending machine, or else I will have to write a story on that.

You say you’ll read your friend’s copy, but sadly, I find that hard to believe. It is the same half-hearted promise of the ones who say they will get theirs on the way back from lunch before never coming back. “I don’t want to get my copy dirty in the cafeteria,” they say in earnest. Yeah, someone did actually say that.

Sees table. Hears Seth. Hurriedly walks in the opposite direction.

It looks so promising to see a smiling face as they approach, only for them to say no and walk away. I do not know if I should be annoyed or intimidated.

So the next time you are asked, “Do you want a copy of the newest Mars’ Hill?” please, humour me and say yes.