DECLASSIFIEDS

Too scared to ask out that hot girl from RELS class? Have a thought you’re dying to share? Did a professor say something strange or funny? Do you have some information that you want to get out to the student body? Whatever it is, the declassifieds are here for you. Submit yours at www.marshillnewspaper.com/declassifieds

“Long Day’s Journey Into Night” has got to be one of the coolest titles of all time

Hello! And welcome back to everyone’s favourite game show: how long before I have another breakdown?

Sorry mommy?

Sorry Mommy?

I think

That

Oranges should be blue

I have spent about $500 on lingerie

Bombastic side eye. Criminal offensive side eye.

St pattys day who’s getting wild with me?

Espresso martini. Red flag

Ducks are the best. Literally no one hates ducks.

Let’s do the gwiddy TWU Library continues to be a disappointment. While I applaud them for their recent book display for International Women’s Day, why was this display taken down so fast? Does the library not recognize Women’s History Month? Also, was hide the display? Guess this continues the mindset of how women are treated on campus.

“In a world filled with misery and uncertainty, it is a great comfort to know that, in the end, there is light in the darkness.” - Joshua Graham

I heart you hart

Of all the hearts out there, you’re my favorite hart it’s real hard to stay christian when certain people aren’t being struck by lightning

Are there more conservatives or liberals on campus?

Please just let me graduate

Did you know that your worship chaplain Brittany holds the record for most gotcha kills in a day with 5?!?!

In case nobody got it, we called the last issue “Apex/ Zenith” because both words mean essentially the same thing but start with the first and last letter of the alphabet.

“No offense to these fine young men, but I wish I was watching the Electric Company right now”

COME AND GET SOME SKINNING THE CHILDREN FOR A WAR DRUM PUTTING FOOD ON THE TABLE SELLING BOMBS AND GUNS IT’S QUICKER AND EASIER TO EAT YOUR YOUNG

When this gets published it will probably be my last time reading a Mars Hill newspaper. A chapter in my life will be closed as I move on to new things. I don’t know how to feel should I feel sad, happy, excited, disappointed? I guess that’s just life, it is what it is.

You realise Mark Husbands was definitely against a union right? The administration challenged the union’s proposed bargaining unit, who is it that’s in charge of the administration again?

Editor’s note: I have a suspicion some of the comments made in last issue’s declassifieds were sarcastic. —Seth

I am about to graduate but I’m not engaged or married. Did I do something wrong?

Okay why do some people here smell so freaking gross!!! Like do you not shower? Wash your clothes?

I get the dorm showers experience leaves sometimes to be desired but stillll!!

Like some people leave the hallway stank just walking through it! Ew.

Apply for Mars’ Hill

2023/2024! We’d love to have YOU on the team!

Anyone else paranoid that people can see them changing through these dorm issued blinds? Just me? Ok.

Do people who are not in theatre actually care about it? As art students all we get is nasty looks as we duck to that musty hallway to use the bathroom… guys how tf do you say the Colorado river runs through Portland Oregon? It’s an easy Google search????

“I’m not stupid I’m just really German” - Berke Worship at devotion chapel was fire last week.

The TWUSA lounge needs some uptown Phonk

I wish I could bully more people on campus. Like knock a stack of books out of somebody’s hands. Send papers scattering to the floor. Watch as they scramble to recover while I feel a tinge of guilt, but chortle indignantly instead. My conscience compels me though, and I reach down to help them against my better judgement. Our hands touch...

Leave the the theatre department alone. You can’t swoop in and pretend our space is yours when we aren’t gone yet. Have some human compassion. You’re hurting us.

Bret Vandenbrink, Catalyst for Light

LOVING TWU’s focus on business. Can’t wait to see them become a full business school. You know, like Jesus would have wanted : )

Live fast, die young - Kevin Schut probably (I don’t know I don’t pay attention in class)

“Occasionally my quotes end up in the Mars’ Hill, that’s not always the best thing” – Dr. Kevin Schut Views from the Brink should return next year!

They really be letting ANYONE submit a declassified nowadays smh

Too much gossip, not enough witty jokes and one-liners

What’s the theological equivalent of pink eye?

David Witzke has been a superb Arts & Culture Editor this year!

Follow @pippy_the_squirrel on Instagram

I really wish I didn’t discover www.mhusbands.com right before I needed to go to sleep.

Remember that Smiling/ laughing and being Happy are different things.

How do I be Unstupid. [two crying laughing emojis] the ending of the 11:07 show was a terrifying fever dream the pepsi man will forever haunt me shout out to alex and lorin for being insane

Dangggg Hannah, did you see how buff she was in 1107????

Seth looks like a wanna be messy bun girl

Amongus has horses for march 31-April 2

Strike should be an actual strike

I used chat Gpt to break up with my friend… Cathy is stressed

I do believe in fairy’s I do I do I do believe in fairys -the coolest Peter Pan movie

Im in love with amaris Henry COLOURED EGG TIME YIPPEE KAY YAY

About to drop the hardest mixtape of 1997 see ya later haters the only thing keeping me alive this semester is pure f—ing spite

“dont cry because its over smile because it happened” . . . is what I would say if I was going to miss this place lmao good bye twu end of year blues are starting to hit but also so close to summer easter weekend baby christ coming back and free eggs sleighhhhh man i might be going insane

“Plagiarism doesn’t really count here” - Seth Schouten

Woah! Woah! Woah! Please, guys, chill i am in love with the concept of declassifieds they bring me joy little else can egg

Ihave started to consider myself as a recovering perfectionist, having spent the majority of my life achieving. Whether that looked like winning a dance competition, doing well on my piano exams, or getting another A on a paper that held far too much importance in my life, unfortunately, I became known for doing well. I felt like perfection was what people expected from me as a minimum. I felt like if I messed up, I would lose friends and the love they had for me because I was convinced my worth was tied to what I could do, instead of who I was.

I still smile looking back on my childhood, but sometimes I wonder if I missed out. I wonder what it would have been like if I had truly let myself be a kid. Now that I am in my 20s, I see the value of having a childlike spirit. Some of my favourite things about kids are their sense of wonder and imagination. Kids are curious and excited about life and all the things they can try. I wanted to do every activity imaginable growing up, but now I doubt my abilities even when it comes to something like drawing the cover for Mars’ Hill

Mars’ Hill reserves the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill or its staff, the student association, or Trinity Western University.

As the school year comes to a close, I cannot help but think of a liftoff. Some of us are graduating, and others are trying to sort out living situations, summer jobs, and relational dynamics. We all have our own liftoffs counting down. But what if I told you no one was waiting out by your launchpad holding their breath? What if I told you it is okay to be curious, try a few things, and figure out what you like along the way, rather than pursuing your “perfect” path? (Which, spoiler alert, does not exist.) What if we all just took a breath, let ourselves pause, and decided to have some fun?

Abigail Broadhurst grew up on Vancouver Island and is currently based in Langley, B.C., as she works towards her BAH in art + design with a minor in psychology at TWU. Broadhurst enjoys working with acrylics and graphite and has recently begun to explore conceptual and socially engaged work. You can see more of her work on her Instagram: @abigailbroadhurstart

Seth Schouten

TikTok CEO Shou Zi Chew faced members of U.S. Congress on Thursday, March 23 in a hearing pertaining to the supposed security risk the popular social media app poses to the U.S. and harmful content that children may or may not be exposed to while using the app. Chew spent five hours being grilled by the bipartisan U.S. House energy and commerce committee where he reaffirmed his company’s commitment to data privacy and the protection of teenage users. Chew was met with hostility from lawmakers who alleged that TikTok was a tool of the Communist Party of China (CCP). The hearing highlights TikTok’s uncertain future in the U.S. and the heightened tension between the U.S. and China.

“Mr. Chew, you are here because the American people need the truth about the threat TikTok poses to our national and personal security,” said Cathy McMorris Rodgers, the chair of the committee, a Republican congresswoman from Washington, in her opening statement.

Members of the committee acted aggressively toward Chew and frequently interrupted his answers while describing him as “evasive.”

The move to ban the app has gained both bipartisan support and bipartisan criticism. Critics have called a potential ban a threat to free speech in the U.S., which is protected by the first amendment.

The spectre of the CCP and a potential Chinese threat to U.S. customer data loomed large over the hearing. TikTok is owned by the Chinese tech company ByteDance and is subject to Chinese law.

Concerns were raised in the hearing pertaining to China’s 2017 National Intelligence Law. FBI director Chris Wray characterized the law as the requirement for all organizations and citizens “to do whatever the government wants them to do in terms of showing them information or serving as a tool for the Chinese government.”

“TikTok is a weapon by the Chinese Communist Party to spy on you, manipulate what you see and exploit for future generations,” alleged McMorris Rodgers. However, the lawmakers calling for TikTok’s ban have yet to provide any sort of significant evidence that TikTok has been used to compromise the national security of the U.S. Chew denied the accusations that TikTok has been used to spy on its 150 million Ameri- can monthly users. istrative licensing procedures must be performed in accordance with Chinese laws and regulations. . . . The Chinese government will make a decision in accordance with the law.”

To counter this, Chew described “Project Texas,” an initiative to relocate all of TikTok’s U.S. users’ data to servers located within the U.S. The data would be held on servers owned and operated by American tech company Oracle and managed by a separate entity called “TikTok U.S. Data Security.” The project is estimated to cost approximately $1.5 billion US. Chew reminded the committee during the hearing that the data security issues that TikTok is facing are not unique to his platform. Many other popular social media sites—including Facebook and Instagram— have faced serious problems regarding data security.

U.S. lawmakers remained skeptical of Project Texas during the hearing.

She added that a potential forced sale would “seriously damage” any foreign investor’s confidence in the U.S.

The hearing did bolster calls to ban the app entirely from the U.S. In late February, the White House announced that the app must be removed from all government-issued devices, with Canada, the U.K., Australia, and New Zealand following suit. The only two nations where the app has been banned entirely are India and Afghanistan.

This is not the first attempt in recent years to ban TikTok in the U.S. In 2020, President Donald Trump issued an executive order to ban the app which was, after many complicated legal proceedings, halted by federal judges. The rulings suggested that the administration had provided little evidence that the app was a security risk and that a ban at that stage was a violation of the first amendment of the U.S. Constitution.

Democrat Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez voiced her opposition to the ban. In her first-ever TikTok video, the congresswoman said that a ban “doesn’t really address the core of the issue, which is the fact that major social media companies are allowed to collect troves of deeply personal data about you that you don’t know about without really any significant regulation whatsoever.”

Recently, Republican Missouri Senator Josh Hawley tried to push the U.S. senate into an immediate vote on a bill which would ban the app. Hawley described the app as “digital fentanyl.” He said that the bill “sends the message to Communist China that you cannot buy us.”

However, the bill was blocked in the senate by fellow Republican Rand Paul. “Speech is protected whether you like it or not,” Paul said in a 12-minute speech from the Senate floor. “If you don’t like TikTok or Facebook or YouTube, don’t use them . . . but don’t think that any interpretation of the Constitution gives you the right to ban them.”

Hawley’s bill is one of several proposals to give the U.S. government more direct control over TikTok being discussed between the Senate and the House.

“Our CEO, @ShouChew, came prepared to answer questions from Congress,” said a Tweet from TikTok’s PR team, “but unfortunately, the day was dominated by political grandstanding that failed to acknowledge real solutions already underway through Project Texas or address industry-wide issues of youth safety.”

Leading up to the hearing, TikTok alleged that the White House had warned them of a potential forced sale of the app from its Chinese parent company. The possibility of a forced sale of the app from ByteDance was quickly criticized by both TikTok and the Chinese government.

“If the news [about a forced sale] is true, China will firmly oppose it,” said Shu Jueting, a spokeswoman for the Ministry of Commerce hours before Chew appeared before the House. “The sale or divestiture of TikTok involves technology export, and admin-