Mars' Hill Newspaper Vol 21 Issue 7

COMMUNITY CORNER

3

C O M M U N I T Y CO R N E R DE-CLASSIFIEDS

SUBMIT YOUR DECLASSIFIEDS AT: WWW.MARSHILLONLINE.COM/DE-CLASSIFIED

Aaron Boehmer’s eyebrows are more on fleek than mine…

Anyone else notice all the couples that are detour DTR-ing because of the flooded pond?

Northwest RAD can strip it down #nwrad2k17 #imteased

If musicals have taught me anything is that you sing through your pain, because even tho it hurts you’re at least bomb af #myuterushasdeclaredwaronmypoorbody #*singsi’ll”makeamanoutofyou”tohidethepain*

Matthew Strelau, if you were a part of a leaf you would be the CUTE-icle. <3

Just because it’s second semester doesn’t mean Lincoln Nikkel isn’t relevant #remembernikkel

Light bulbs get hot. To make your oven hotter turn the light on and your food will cook faster.

when cavalli breaks up squad and puts you in a much lamer assigned group

Sodexo made me a vegetarian

It’s crazy, I went from spending $20 a day in the caf to $20 every 2 weeks on groceries.

To the guy that keeps staring at me in class. Stop.

dear boys who hold the heavy caf. doors open. bless you. <3

Will you be my galentine?

shout out to Ca$h Moni, my favorite rapper, who is on a media fast so this is the only way to get your attention.

-The girl who keeps emailing you…

The back of yo head is ridiculous.

-Girl in your music class

My favourite pick up line is “I’m on a media fast, here’s my e-mail” #marryme #truelove

Sodexo, Get that pizza oven working again.

-My stomach

Dear Complainers about the gym clothing policy, If you actually took time to read the sign, (which I know you can do, because we all have to read textbooks), you would see that you would actually be able to wear a racerback, and that we do not single out the females only.

Sincerely, Your local gym rat

I love SixLoaves. You make this campus toasty...lol...better

I thought imposing stupid dress codes on girls was something only seen in high school...I guess I was wrong.

Mariah Schuurman, if you were President, you’d be Babe-raham Lincoln. <3

Sunday Night: Let the Stressing Begin IF YOU LOVE CONNOR GREEN, WEAR PANTS ON FEBRUARY 14TH <3 anyone remember red plaid awareness day? who else is sick of the pod wives? #baileygiveusbackournaughtylist what happened to 6loaves? and did you guys make any $$ ? if anyone has any broken pinatas, let me know ;) PLZ DON’T MAKE OUT IN THE FRASER STAIRWELL!!

Pearce you are the lice to my head ;) While we’re adding a new wing to Fraser, can we update the fire alarm sensor system? #prettyplease Accepting applications for a new head nun - Linda is out

I am planning a nice Valentines day even if there is no girl involved.

-B

Hey girl, I know you’ve accepted Jesus into your heart, but is there still room in there for me? #seniorscramble #comeontrinitymatchmaker “strip naked and go to the back 40, and then you will escape brands” - Kevin Schut

Pardon if it is a little early but, Town Hall on St. patty’s day

On February 29th there will be a nudist gathering in the back 40 to oppose the evil corporate bigotry of clothes and branding. Join us, your brothers from, in our mighty cause.

- MCOM 111

Why does it take 7 minutes to walk from the caf to Strombeck but 3 minutes to walk from Strombeck to the caf? #itsallrelative

Four years ago my friend told me he would say something nice about me in the declassified. Still waiting.

Did I sign the covenant?

There is just too much going on at this university...there is no time to do homework..

Who/What is Trinity Matchmaker? And why do thousands accept it’s friend request? Just shows the desperation in these people’s lives and hearts…

We need campus Uber on the upcoming TWUSA campaign agendas somewhere. #wearetwu #wearelazy

In my class we are supposed to write all of life goals until we die. #1 - get a boyfriend.

Can we all just drop this Covenant crap? We get it, people don’t agree with the covenant but stop dragging it out.

Big shout out to Erin from Sodexo for putting in a TON of work to improve the student experience. #chorizobowl #teamsodexo

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff, the student association, or that of the University. In fact, probably not.

Rebecca Kastlison’s article “Between Black and White” was falsely attributed to Jarrett Fontaine’s under the title “A Moving Experience in China” in Issue 7. Mars’ Hill regrets the error. Fontaine’s article was reprinted in this issue, and can be found on pg. 16 in the Sports section.

Eric Stein’s article “Rebel Dreams” was subject to an unfortunate copy-editing error. Where Stein had written: “Everywhere in Rogue One there is such exception and necessity, and it is uniquely compelling for we viewers to recognize that, as our regular heroes wrestle with their extraordinary circumstances, compelled to make impossible decisions and strive against overwhelming odds, the chances of a deus ex machina are slim.” The published version has been changed, in error, to: “Everywhere in Rogue One there is such exception and necessity, and it is uniquely compelling for we viewers to recognize that, as our regular heroes wrestle with their extraordinary circumstances and are compelled to make impossible decisions they strive against overwhelming odds though the chances of a deus ex machina are slim.”

SURVEY Want to know if the student body really follows the Community Covenant? Participate in the anonymous Mars’ Hill survey and find out the results in the next issue.

In 2005, Mars’ Hill conducted a campus-wide anonymous survey on the Community Standards. The survey goes through every item addressed in the Community Covenant and asks respondents if, while being students, they conformed to these items. They received 697 student responses, which gave them very statistically significant results. Mars’ Hill is conducting the same survey now, 12 years later, to see if student attitudes/actions have fluctuated. We hope to reach a high number of respondents so that we may accurately reflect where possible disparities between TWU’s guiding documents and the student body exist.

This survey is quantitative, asking students for strictly anonymous and completely voluntary self-reporting. Links to the survey will be provided on marshillonline.com and the Mars’ Hill Facebook page.

Soylent - Alex Gust