Mars' Hill Newspaper Vol. 18 Issue 8 by Mars Hill Newspaper

ACTS 17:19-20

VOLUME 18, ISSUE 8

Wes Jansen Departs

FEBRUARY 5, 2014

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October 2, 2013 February 5, 2014

FROM THE EDITOR. MARS’ HILL

|THE TEAM

7600 Glover Rd. Langley, BC V2Y 1Y1 604 513 2109

MARS’ HILL

Mars’ Hill is a student publication of

MIKAELA FUQUA

visual editor

Mars’ Hill seeks to be a professional and

MISSION TO MARS

BRYCE PERRY

managing editor

Roses are red, violets are blue, , we made this mars hill, specifically for you!

HANNA WASWA

chief copy editor

EDITORIAL POLICY

NANCY TIMMERMANS

MICHELLE KARST

The Spirit of A Place

photo editor

NICK ZATOR

layout editor

Trinity Western University is known for andrew many things. PARKER Despite its small size (a student body of about 4000), it has become extremely successful in sports (numerous CIS championship titles), in academics (seven consecutive A+ rankings for Quality of Teaching and Learning), and has a well recognized faculty (multiple Canadian research chairs). If you talk to the Alumni Association, they will tell you that Trinity grads are sought here and afar—many people know that a Trinity graduate is usually a good hire; graduates here are more often than not both intelligent and of the highest character. Although this campus has come under some very serious scrutiny lately in regards to the covenant and the law school proposal, it is hard to

| NANCY TIMMERMANS

illustration/layout editor

NATALIE ANTTURI

advertising manager

LIAM ABBOTT

finance manager

SET THE MOOD Served best with candles

“Can You Feel the Love Tonight” - Elton John

“What About Love” - Heart “Total Eclipse of the Heart” - Bonnie Tyler “I Don’t Want to Miss a Thing” - Aerosmith “Teenage Dream” - Katy Perry “Careless Whisper” - George Michael “Tutti Frutti Summer Love” - Gunther

this place and not feel that the people who make up this student body are, well, awesome. So what’s my point? There is a strong sense of community here, a sort of spirit of this place. This is not some new-age hippy idea of conducting the rhythms of this campus or anything. Rather, it is the sense of community, the essence, of what makes this place so special. Personally, I chose to come

here over the University of British Columbia simply because of this spirit. I found UBC too cold and competitive, uninviting and uncaring. The staff at TWU worked to ensure that I felt welcomed here and proved to be as helpful as they could be—I found it to be the complete opposite of UBC. In contemplating this community after quite active involvement with it over the past year and a half, I have come to a realization. I came here because the school environment had something to offer to me, to pour into me. What I now see is that I cannot just focus on what I am getting out of the University. We all need to give back, to pour into the community. I see people who do this every day, in student ministries, in dorms, on chapel teams, and involved in TWUSA and student media. This community exists because of you and me and everyone who comes here and chooses to engage it. This is what makes this place so special—there are thousands of people who desire to be actively involved in the community. With Valentine’s Day fast approaching, this issue and this campus are (quite obviously) focused upon relationships and love. Within these pages, scattered throughout of many conversations, is love and how it manifests itself in this community and beyond. Some will

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present idealized versions—a goal to strive towards, be it possible or not—some a humorous account of love gained, lost, rebuffed, or avoided. Soon the dorm population will be besieged with blind dates (side note: if someone asks you to go on one just do it! You never know what might happen). But regardless of the season, we need to remain conscious of love. Love is what keeps

Opinions expressed in Mars’ Hill torial board, Trinity Western University,

SENIOR EDITORS Editor-in-Chief Managing Editor Visual Editor

SECTION EDITORS News Academy

us. Love is what drives those people around you involved with the various student ministries and leadership positions—positions integral to the community—to get involved and keep going. Your love of this place and its people, as well as the love of those in the surrounding community and beyond, are what make the community, the spirit of this place, what it is. There are tons of clichés surrounding this season, and many love topics are overdone, but I hope that this time can remind us to love our neighbour as ourselves. Let this season be a reminder of what makes this place so special, that without each and every one of your peers efforts, it wouldn’t be what it is. When I came here I was Andrewpocentric—I came here for me. What I have come to see is that in order to have community, we must engage in community; in order to gain love, we must pour it out.

Arts & Culture Sports Humour

PRODUCTION STAFF Nick Zator

Layout Editor Illustration/Layout Editor Photo Editor Chief Copy Editor

OPERATIONS Finance Manager Advertising Manager Web Presence

CONTRIBUTORS

Cover Statement The geese have returned! The lawns are being fertilized, and the bottom of our shoes are being smeered! This can only mean one thing: SPRING IS UPON US!! Ladies, be prepared. Gentlemen, get ready. Love shall be professed! Fingers shall be crowned! Vows will be made! I see in you the same doubt that would take the heart of me. There may be a time when the geese leave and their droppings are all that remains. A day may come when another spring has past, and

Nicolas Noble

Leanne Witten

marshill@gmail.com www.marshillonline.com @marshillonline

is not this day. THIS DAY WE PROPOSE!!

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “A bobblehead of a political figure” - Anna Hayashi

February 5, 2014

NEWS.

LOGAN PAULGAARD logan.paulgaard@gmail.com

Wes Janzen’s Departure from TWU This past semester ended with cheri another stunBROWN ning sold-out performance of the hugely popular “Christmas at the Chan Centre,” as well as the announcement of concert conductor Wes Janzen’s upcoming departure from Trinity Western University. Professor of Music and Director of Choral Activities for 33 years, Dr. Janzen’s contribution and spirational throughout his dedicated term of service in which he faithfully served both students and his Saviour. Janzen will begin his transition from TWU faculty to full-time missions work in Ukraine at the end of this academic year, serving as President of Music Mission Kiev (MMK) and Principal Conductor of Kyiv Symphony Orchestra and Chorus (KSOC). His wife, Kimberley Janzen, TWU voice instructor from 1991-2011, will serve alongside him as Associate Director of Outreach Services. Long-time Music department colleague and Dean of the School of Arts, Media and Culture, Dr. David Squires, recalls how he and Janzen started together at TWU back in 1981, both fresh out of graduate school. Dr. Squires acknowledges Janzen’s many contributions and supports his new career direction, saying that “Wes has always demonstrated a deep concern for his students’ spiritual life and well-being; his music-making has been a ministry both to them and to our broader constituency. His passion

the work of Music Mission Kiev— working with widows and orphans, and leading professional musicians in performances of sacred classical music throughout Eastern Europe and many countries of the former Soviet Union.” Janzen started out in music at a young age, with his father as Choir Director at Columbia Bible College in Abbotsford and his family involved in music for as long as he can remember. Thinking back to his early days of musical training, he notes that some professors put up their doctorates, but he prefers to display his Royal from when he was a little boy. He them. It’s also a little-known fact that

he used to play trumpet, and was planning to play professionally, until that dream ended when he was struck in the mouth with a hockey puck twice in the same week. “That was a clear puck from God that said to me, ‘Go into conducting,’” he says. “It’s quite funny, actually!” He has seen many changes over

the years at TWU. He remembers the days when the University was much smaller, many of the current buildings didn’t exist, and he knew everyone’s names on campus, but he notes, “What hasn’t changed is Christ, and a desire to serve. The most important thing I can see is thousands of former students who are impacting the world for Christ.”

When asked what he will miss ple. He is especially grateful for the diversity of international students, as well as domestic students, and proudly displays a large banner in the atrium choir rehearsal area that says, “Welcome” in dozens of languages from students over the past years. His

tradition of students singing “Silent Night” for auditions is also intended as inclusive, as they can sing it any language and feel comfortable, since most people know the melody. In all his years at Trinity, he never got tired of hearing that song. Janzen is also “delighted” to have his own three children, all current Trinity students, participate in TWU choirs and minis-

try in Kiev with him. Oldest daughter Kristina Janzen is a 4th year Education major, Johnny Janzen is in the 3rd year of the Music program, and youngest son CJ Janzen is a 1st year General Studies major, concentrating in Communications and Biblical Studies. Moving forward, the Janzens will continue to commute between

Canada and Europe. They will live at the Mission’s apartment while in Kiev and will maintain a home in Canada for their children, who will remain in Canada to complete university. The decision to work in Ukraine on a full-time basis happened over time. “I’ve been involved with MMK since 2006,” Janzen says. “There were steps in terms of a growing

sense of calling and commitment to that. It just seemed this fall that it was time to say goodbye to Trinity and say yes to this new open door.” They are happy to be in Canada for now, but also eager and ready to get back to Ukraine. “There is something in the way of urgency, people bers,” says Janzen. “That is very compelling in terms of a calling from the Holy Spirit to serve there.” MMK is a holistic mission that emphasizes evangelism including outreach, discipleship, and church planting. “We never know where it’s going to go because the Holy Spirit leads it to places we can’t predict. We see God’s hand in it. The last time I preached an evangelistic message, I saw 57 people accept Christ. I don’t see that happening here in Canada anywhere, let alone when I preach! When Kim is doing her Bible lessons, teaching, and visits to widows in their homes, she has led more people to Christ than we can count.” As a country that broke free of Communist oppression in 1991, Ukraine still struggles economically and spiritually today. The political unrest is extensive and yet Janzen does not feel he or his wife are in any immediate danger there. “We are surrounded with Ukrainian believers who are very aware of the culture. There is a protest area in the heart of Kiev where we live, at times with a million people present as part of this peaceful protest. These are good, honest, decent people who just want basic human rights like peace, freedom, safety, and the opportunity to pel takes on exponentially because it to those who need it the most at this time of rebuilding. It is striking to consider how it has unfolded over generations, with his grandparents ple of generations later, he is returning to assist in the aftermath of the Communist regime. Despite their upcoming relocation to Ukraine, the Janzens hope to keep their ties with Trinity as strong as possible. Watch for an announcement about chance to honour and bless Wes and Kim Janzen. TWU can also look forward to the KSOC North American tour in September of this year, which will kick off in Vancouver.

Missions Fest Vancouver Missions Fest Vancouver held its annual event this Jan. 24-26, 2014. Since its inception in 1984, the gathering highlights cheri global mission work through guest speakBROWN ers, seminars, workshops, and rallies, encompassing a broad range of Christian denominations and organizations. Wes Janzen, Professor of Music and Director of Choral Activities at Trinity Western University, and his wife Kim, have participated in the event many years by leading the plenary sessions. A total of 120 singers from various TWU choirs – Concert Choir, Chamber Choir, Chamber Singers, and Masterworks Choir – took part, performing for 6,000 people. After the event, students commented on the importance of serving in this way:

“

I was incredibly blessed and overwhelmed to be able to sing for such an inspiring group of people. The songs were so powerful and brought hope and great encouragement.

I think it’s key to be involved in community whenever the opportunity is given. The choir singing at this event was perfect.

“ ”

”

I believe it is very important for us to serve with the gifts we have been given, especially as representatives of Christ and TWU.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “A scale” - Katelyn Anderson

”

February 5, 2014

NEWS.

ALUMNI ASSOCIATION

DAVE MACDONALD

TWU Alumni Association members are alumni who have larissa chosen to actively KROEKER engage with students and the University. Look forward to more member features in future issues!

Weekend, I was so impressed with how fun and friendly everyone was, I decided it was a better option for me than UFV. And I was right!

Monday to Friday. Read our story on our blog: www.guatemalaconexions.blogspot. ca.

LK: In three words, describe your experience postTWU:

education?

Name:

MacDonald: Great intentional decisions.

TWU Education: elor of Education, Math concentration, English minor

LK: What’s new?

Occupation: my home, and homeschooling my three children. Larissa Kroeker: Why did you come to Trinity? MacDonald: My parents wanted me to apply... but then, once I attended a Preview

MacDonald: ished teaching English to a group of 10 teenagers who are in a scholarship program that we help support in Guatemala. They would not be able to attend high school without this scholarship, and learning English will earn them jobs for life. We invited them to live with us during their we taught them English by immersion

MacDonald: Life is holistic: family, church, career changes, career twists, travel, etc. I use my holistic knowledge of the world and my faith every time I travel, teach my children, enter a new leadership role in the community or at church, or just make new friends. I developed as a whole person at Trinity, not just as a “math teacher.” I’m glad for this, since I’m no longer teaching math in the school system! LK: Why did you decide to become an Association member? MacDonald:

band helped to start the new Association! But in reality, it’s because I loved my time at Trinity. TWU changed me forever, and I want to give back in whatever ways I can: through mentoring, helping grads groups, being part of an alumni voice that helps the University make decisions, or something that I haven’t discovered yet!

MacDonald: Be intentional. Get everything out of Trinity that you can. Discover who you want to be, try out leadership roles, be mentored, visit your profs to discuss differopportunities to develop who God wants you to be. Use this time purposefully—it’s worth it!

Issues of Wealth and Inequality Surface from Oxfam Study |

lexi VANKEVICH

On Jan. 20 2014, Oxfam International—a global confederation

solutions to poverty and injustice around the world—released a controversial study entitled, “Working for the Few: Political Capture and Economic Inequality.” Winnie Byanyima, Oxfam’s executive director, said in the accompanying press release that “widening inequality is creating a vicious circle where wealth and power are increasingly concentrated in the hands of a few, leaving the rest top table.” Ms. Byanyima’s view on the reasons for this inequality mirror those of many Christian and secular communities. The press release lends a strong additional voice to the myriad of explanations for poverty. The Oxfam study states that “wealthy elites have co-opted political power to rig the rules of the economic game, undermining democracy and creating a world where the 85 richest people own the wealth of half of the world’s population.” Oxfam estimates that half the world’s wealth, $110 trillion US, is held by just one per cent of the population, and within that, just 85 of the richest individuals control $1.7 trillion.

Out of this data, the evaluation that arises is that as the rich are getting richer, and, more contentiously, that the direct result is that the poor are becoming poorer. This conclusion can be seen in Oxfam’s advocation for redistribution tax structures, designed to increase funding for government services that aid the poor, like public education, health care, and social protection. According to Oxfam,

“[t]his massive concentration of economic resources in the hands of threat to inclusive political and economic systems. People are increasingly separated by economic and political power, inevitably heightening social tensions and increasing the risk of societal breakdown.” “Rising Inequality: Transitory or Persistent? New Evidence from a Panel

of U.S. Tax Returns” by the highly esteemed Brookings Institute—a centre-left Washington D.C. based think-tank. Over the course of 1987 to 2009, Brookings found that the income of people at the bottom of the economic ladder (after adjusting for this same twenty-two year span, the of wealth doubled. These numbers don’t factor in the effects of govern-

mental wealth transfers like earned income tax credits, food stamps, and Medicaid. After these have been added in, the poor would likely have article suggests that while the rich are increasing their wealth, they are not doing so at the expense of the lower classes; all classes are becoming wealthier, but at uneven rates. Still others explain that the income of the wealthy is increasing

due to three main causes. First, due to the increase in globalization and free trade throughout recent decades, entrepreneurs and corporations have had access to wider markets to make their product available to potential consumers. This widening of markets, when combined with the decreasing costs of global transportation, increased ease of communication, and reduction in trade barriers, has allowed access to global

markets that permit entrepreneurs Second is a phenomenon known as “assorted mating.” Assorted mating essentially refers to the trend of people marrying people like themselves. In recent years, this has taken the form of individuals meeting and marrying people that they meet in university or in professional circles. In this way, people are tying the knot with others who have similar income

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “A ring pop” - Marianne Soehardi

levels. This has been ever more sighave begun to enter the work place in increasing numbers. There are fewer stay-at-home moms than there were 20 years ago, and the women in the workforce marry men like themselves. The result is two relatively high-income earners forming a household together, which consolidates their earning power. Lastly, with the increase of women in the market place, climbing academic and corporate ladders, also means that women are delaybecause the bottom percentile of income earners in North America consists mainly of single parent families, predominately mothers who didn’t tiple children. Furthermore, the cost of living has decreased on many staple items over the last 20 years, which indicates that the poor have more disposable income while still being able to meet basic needs and enjoying an overall higher quality of life. Goods and services continue to lessen in price and improve over time. Such evidence suggests that even if the income of the poorest in society stays stagnant, provided that the quality of goods continue to improve, their lives will also improve.

February 5, 2014

NEWS.

Extreme Measures in Sochi With the Sochi Olympics just around the corner, the usual logan plethora of security PAULGAARD and cost concerns that accompany the Olympics have surfaced. With the quickly approaching Feb 7th Olympic kick-off, the eyes of the world, and the northern hemisphere in particular, will be focused on the subtropical Russian resort city. Perhaps the most staggering factor that has accompanied this most recent round of Olympics is the sheer cost of infrastructure. During the 2007 bidding process for these Olympics, Russian President Vladimir Putin committed $12 billion dollars for the transformation of Sochi, pledging to remake it into a “world-class resort.” That number has since evolved into $51 billion. This is the largest price tag attached to any Olympics in history, surpassing the 2008 Beijing Olympics by $11 billion. The cost of many major projects in Sochi

For example, the Fisht Olympic Stadium ran a bill of $780 million to build which, when divided across each spectator in the stadium, works out to be about $19,500 per person. The construction of the estimated $40 million ski jump was delayed by two years, and the actual cost was $265 million. The cost of rail and road projects in Sochi were $8.7

billion. In perspective, this amount is about three times more expensive than NASA’s most recent Mars Rover mission. This spare-no-expense mentality for building projects has also spilled over into the security measures that are being taken for Sochi. The security approach for this year’s Olympics in Russia can be described as nothing less than invasive. The U.S. State Department’s bureau of diplomatic security cautioned guests to the Olympics that they should have “no expectation of privacy,” and assume that their communication is being monitored. Russia’s Federal Security Service—the FSB—is responsible for organizing security at the games. All electronic communication in Sochi will be accessible and traceable by the FSB. Other tools that the FSB will utilize include drones, anti-ballistic missiles, an underwater sonar system, and even underwater machine guns. There are many checkpoints set up around Sochi, which are being guarded by 70,000 soldiers and members of the police. The great level of power that has been entrusted to the FSB by Putin hints back to his past work as an agent in the organization’s precursor, the KGB. Some see these security measures as a matter of pride for Putin, calling them the key piece needed to make this the “perfect” Olympics that the 1980 Moscow Olympics were.

Pledged total in 2007:

$12 billion

Actual total in 2014:

$51 billion

Fisht Olympic Stadium:

$780 million

Ski Jump, estimated:

$40 million

Ski Jump, actual:

$265 million

Rail and Road Cost:

$8.7 billion

Police and Soldiers watching checkpoints:

70,000

Ukraine’s president signs amnesty bill into law

Following the outbreak of rioting in Ukraine, President Viktor Yanukovych signed an amnesty bill that would pardon protesters who have been arrested. Protesters disapprove of the new law, which is not in effect until protesters leave government buildings and cease to block roadways. Whether human rights have been abused in the wake of the protests has also been brought into question. Dmytro Bulatov, a protest leader who went missing for more than a week, claims that when the president refused to sign a deal with the EU this past November which was years in the making.

Death penalty sought for boston bomber

In an announcement on Jan 30th, federal prosecutors said that they are looking into the possibility of the death penalty for 19-year-old Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, who is suspected of sharing responsibility for the Boston Marathon bombing. Prosecutors argued that Tsarnaev acted in “an especially heinous, cruel, and depraved manner” and lacks regret. A major decision facing Tsarnaev’s defence team is whether to keep the trials at death-penalty-opposed Boston, or move trials to where memories of the incident are less vivid. The choice will the defence faces,” according to CNN senior legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin.

Missions Week at TWU

Amanda knox fights murder conviction in retrial Mexican vigilante groups recognized by government

In the wake of the long-standing drug violence in Mexico and previous calls for vigilante groups to disarm themselves, recognition. The vigilante groups have taken it upon themselves to enforce the law in light of frustrations that the government is not protecting the people. “The government is obligated to provide peace and tranquility to Michoacan, that is what the majority wants,” says lawmaker Emilio Gamboa Patron. “The grand majority does not want to live in violence.” The tests for vigilante forces will be identical to that of other law enforcement in Mexico.

Deceased pope john paul II’s blood stolen

A relic of the late Pope John Paul II was recently stolen from a church east of Rome. The gold and glass case contained a blood-stained piece of cloth belonging to the deceased Pope. The cloth is from the priestly garment John Paul II was wearing when he was shot in 1981, when a young Turkish man tried to assassinate him. The relic has since been recovered, having been found in the possession of suspected drug addicts. Regarding the thieves, Bishop Giovanni D’Ercole said, “I think John Paul [II] has forgiven them. I think we have to do the same.”

During the week of Janudavid ary 20-24, BRYNJOLFSON T r i n i t y Western University hosted Missions Week. The event featured the opprtunity for mission organizations to represent themselves at booths in the atrium, a documentary screening, a prayer night, extended chapels, and a First Nations reconciliation meeting. Johannah Wetzel, Coordinator of Global Projects, describes Missions Week as, “A week to focus on the ‘outward’ aspect of the spiritual life—to encourage students to engage in the world outside the TWU bubble.” With that desire in mind, Trinity Western hosts Missions Week so that students pursue connections

After a retrial, a Florentine appeals court in Italy convicted Amanda Knox and her ex-boyfriend, Raffaele Sollecito, for the murder of student Meredith Kercher. The former couple’s original conviction was in 2009, but they were deemed not guilty and freed. “I did not expect this to happen. I really expected so much better from the Italian justice system,” Knox said. “They found me innocent before. How can they say that it’s guilt beyond a reasonable doubt?” Currently, Knox is allowed to reside in her home in Seattle, Washington, but there is a possibility that she will be extradited to Italy for a 28-year prison sentence.

Justin bieber turned himself in to toronto police

The famed Canadian pop star Justin Bieber surrendered himcase links back to a Dec 30th dispute between a Toronto limousine driver and a passenger, where the passenger hit the driver on the head several times. The passenger was one of six who were picked up from a nightclub, but the individual passenger. He was released a few hours later and is awaiting a March 10th court appearance. This follows his legal trouble south of the border in Miami Beach, where Bieber was arrest-

and opportunities with mission organizations. The main event saw 30 organizations participate in a fair similar to Missions Fest, which is hrld in Vancouver at the same time. Some of those represented were Christian camps, and the rest were cross-cultural organizations involved in discipleship, evangelism, development and aid. The speakers at chapel that week were connected to the focus on missions. Andrew Victor, pastor at Chilliwack Native Pentecostal Church, spoke on Monday, focusing on the Good Samaritan and love. The following days saw Dr. Bruce Main from Urban Promise speak. The recordings are available on the TWU website. Part of Missions Week was the

First Nations reconciliation event that happened on January 20. Chief Robert Joseph from the Gwawaenuk First Nation was the keynote speaker. He is currently Special Advisor to both Canada’s Truth and Reconciliation Commission (TRC) and Indian Residential School Resolutions Canada. Aside from these events, there was a prayer night and a documentary screening. The documentary shown covered the Live58 campaign to end extreme poverty, the name of which stems from Isaiah 58:6-7. “We always have room to improve,” Johanna said. “But overall the event went well and we were pleased with the results.” The recordings of Chapel talks are available at twu.ca/life/ministries/chapel/listen

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “My heart... literally” - Mackenzie Johnson

February 5, 2014

NEWS.

New Masters Program Launched Trinity Western University’s newest masters program will launch this

per cent of the school population is comprised of students with special learning needs; many teachers are not prepared to deal with such students.” At the same time, the program aims to

entitled the “Masters of Arts in Educational Studies-Special Education” (MAES-SPED), it was recently approved by the BC Ministry of Advanced Education. The program aims to equip teachers to more effectively meet the increasingly diverse ly, its purpose is to equip teachers to support the learning of students who are considered exceptional and therefore in need of special education. Dr. Ken Pudlas has been key in developing the MAES-SPED program, along with Dr. Kim Franklin, who says that, “At least 10

on the subject. TWU’s School of Education has a longstanding commitment to supporting the education of all learners, and to preparing teachers who understand and address these diversities. Trinity

david BRYNJOLFSON

for requiring that all education students take a course in special education. The University recently began offering special education as a teachable minor, and this new Masters degree is the next step. Pudlas says that “although there are similar [special education] programs available within B.C., they are well subscribed to,

indicating the strong professional interest on the part of teachers and the increasing needs in the classroom.” He adds that, “there are no programs that explicitly offer the opportunity to consider how research and practice are informed by faith.” Students who enroll will be placed in a relatively small cohort-structured program that offers both on-campus and online courses, which will be shared by members of that cohort community. Those enrolled will study the most recent literature in special education, both under Trinity Western professors, who are experts in various core subject areas, and experts in the cation from large public school districts. Pudlas says, “In plain terms, when scripture speaks of ‘the least of these’ or of ‘one body with many

parts’ or of justice and mercy and humility (Micah 6:8), this program brings to bear those scriptural principles so that teachers are equipped and encouraged to provide a more inclusive and positive educational experience for all of their students. “The best teaching decisions are based on sound [psychological] principles applied with enthusiasm and imagination, and tempered with a love of teaching and a love of children. To that end, the MAES-SPED aims to provide those principles, provide skills, and encourage a deeper examination of a faith informed worldview of persons with disabilities and other exceptional learning needs.” Trinity Western will launch the MAESSPED in July 2014, with an expected initial co-

WHAT THE HILL police in a canoe. Warrants were issued for the arrest of Garret Eure, 23, for failure to appear on an escape charge from an armed burglary, and Jessie Bryant, 23, for burglary, assault, and battery by strangulation. The chase began when the duo felt the police closing in on them. The suspects mannine miles down the Withlacoochee River. But with the use of dogs, police were able to track down the criminals. Despite their efforts, the criminal duo did not manage enough J-strokes to make a smooth getaway. The eventual cause of their downfall: pitting their two-man powered canoe against a police speedboat.

Saskatoon man Jeff Bowden left $1,000 cash in a taxi on his way to Calgary and then Mexico for a winter vacation. Bowden didn’t realize that he left the money until he was about to board the plane in Calgary heading South. The cab driver, Kalib Khan, tried to contact Bowden as soon as he was aware of the money in the back seat of his cab, but was met with Bowden’s voicemail. Khan told Bowden he’d hang onto the money until he returned. Khan explained that, “Even if it is a penny that belongs to somebody or 25 cents, give them back. That is your responsibility. If you are not giving them back, you are not honest to yourself and not honest to your society.” The two men have since developed a friendship.

33 year-old opera singer Amy Herbst is suing Fort

in February of last year. She claims that a nursemidwife blundered in performing an episiotomy surgery without surgeon supervision. Herbst says the mistake now causes her “to experience fecal urgency and incontinence, including periodic geon assessed that reconstructive surgery would be required, but could not guarantee Herbst relief from her current symptoms. Such a surgery would mean, should Herbst have more children, that they would be birthed through Cesarean section.

CAREER FAIR 2014 |

logan PAULGAARD

Kanchana Walberg is the new co-ordinator of Career Fair 2014. This

following in the footsteps of Career Fair “guru” Mike Teeter, who is now the director of Rec Services. It’s going to be “something a little different this year,” says Kanchana. “The foundation was always there, we’re just adding some different things to it.” Kanchana highlights the venue change as a key distinction for Career Fair 2014, at it will be held in the cafeteria instead of the gym. “What makes it different is the venue….I like the saying ‘the heart of

the house is the kitchen’. The cafeteria, in many ways, is the heart of the lot more inviting.” Along with emphasizing the importance of LinkedIn for networking, the Student Success Centre has hired a professional photographer to set up a booth to take photos of students for

Career Fair as a tool for networking. The Student Success Centre, which is organizing the event, wants to be proactive in helping students toward their career goals. They provide walkin resumé preparation from 1:004:00 p.m. every Wednesday in the Reimer Student Centre, where students can come in and have someone look through their resumé with them, helping establish the credibility of the student to employers. Additionally, on Feb. 5th, during the times of 1:00-4:00 p.m., the SSC will host their “Resumé Doctor” booth near the cafeteria to assist students with their resumés in hand. Register at online: twu.ca/life/career/twu-fairs

The Details Feb. 13th 9:30 - 3:30 @ Cafeteria

Great Prizes

CAREER CAREER can be stressful, so the Career Fair will offer massages for students who need relief. Students will have the opportunity to win great prizes, including a Samsung tablet, movie gift cards, and dinner-for-two cards, just in time for Valentines. Students are strongly encouraged to bring their resumés to the

Massages

Pro LinkedIn profile pics

Bring resumé

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “A child” - Adriel Carey

Resumé Help 1. Student Success Centre Wednesdays 1-4 pm 2. “Resumé Doctor” Feb 5th, 1-4 pm Cafeteria

February 5, 2014

ACADEMY.

PETER WOEKEL peterwoekel@gmail.com

Pornography and the Search For Intimacy The pornography industry grosses milscott lions of dollars WEST each year, and is so easily accessed that it can take

a few key clicks, one can have access to all sorts of free media to “satisfy” curiosity. Rob Rhea, who has a Ph.D on the subject, said, “the idea of curiosity is a key entry point for many Christian men. It gives them a reason

on the Internet then it does feature

The nature of curiosity is not exactly a bad thing, but we must ask what the limits of this curiosity are, a point Rhea brought up later in the discussion. By giving in to the curiosity about and desire for sex through the viewing of pornography, we lose an important sense of innocence. As Rhea points out, “this loss of innocence is a huge loss.” It’s one that we can’t really get back, and we’re forced to rework our thought process after the fact—to rethink our image of sexual intimacy. Many young people’s only experience of sex is through pornography, and this perverted presentation of what should be a sacred act can cause a lot of damage once one is married and sexually active. It isn’t just in Christian circles that people are realizing that porn is dangerous. Both GQ and Maclean’s recently published articles stating that men should make a concerted effort to abstain from pornography and even masturbation. There’s even an online support group entitled “NoFap,” dedicated to helping men— most of whom are not religious— stop engaging in these activities. Both these articles and the forum re-

as many things, and in the Christian circle it has been labeled as deviant, and rightly so. Many have talked of it as being degrading to women—like advertising, it tends to make women into objects—but I would also say that it degrades men. All parties involved are being placed in the situation for the pleasure of the viewer, nothing more. The porn industry, however, seems to cater to an esssential part of our sexual nature in a most destructive way. Our search for intimacy leaves us vulnerable to the Chances are that you have or know someone who has looked at pornography, especially (but not exclusively) your male friends. Please don’t judge; as wrong as it is, I believe that it speaks to something far deeper within us all. We all crave intimacy, and in a world where we tonomous, this sense of intimacy can be confusing and misleading. The ease of availability and our natural curiosity makes it nearly impossible to say no to the porn industry. Within

port that men who quit viewing porn and masturbating found themselves and viewed them in a far less sexualized way. In the Maclean’s article, “Will Quitting Porn Improve Your Life?,” one man reported that “Before [quitting porn], whenever I’d look for is what have they got hanging on back there, or how big are their breasts. Lately, I’ve been catching myself looking at their eyes.” Rhea states that “Porn is an Exibit A of the power of sex.” He warns that we should “never underestimate the power of sex.” Viewing pornography essentially rewires the brain, making the “real thing” uninteresting to many people. That reward of a constantly changing and viewer controlled stimuli trains the brain. Rhea explains that this can be reversed, but only in time and obviously only with the abstinence from porn. Because it’s such a powerful thing, it’s an extremely hard habit to kick—yes, it can become a habit, an addiction even. Even as I write this, as I explain ing with something inside that’s calling me to transgress. So how does

smart phone or get an accountability app. XXXchurch has one for iPhones and computers that will alert your accountability partner of any questionable sites you have visited. 2. Accountability. Have someone hold you accountable—again, XXXchurch is great for this. 3. Prayer. Have a person or group deliberately pray against the temptation. 4. Have healthy relationships. A strong, God honoring relationship can do wonders for rewiring your brain and breaking the cycle, and it presents a proper view of what it is to actually be in relationship with someone. 5. Get positive forward momentum. Really push yourself to abstain for a week or two—once you get past that initial hump it becomes easier to not fall back. 6. Don’t forget about Grace. You are not alone, and even when you mess up God still loves you and forgives you—let yourself move on, rather than dwelling on the guilt.

points to help: 1. Ruthlessly eliminate the opportunity. If you’re tempted to view porn on your smart phone, get rid of the

If you need to talk to someone about this, Rob Rhea would love to chat. Drop email at rrhea@twu.ca.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “A ‘techniques for active listening’ book” - Steve Wilding

February 5, 2014

ACADEMY.

Divine Romance |

sarah GROCHOWSKI

W h a t d o e s G o d ’ s love really look like

can it develop best in a culture that has already established social traditions of dating and idealized romance? As you read the following, I challenge you to ask yourself this: Am I ready for love? three-being relationship of the Fait. God is complete in this harmonious relationship where each being is different, equal, and vital. God gave us this same gift of relationship, the most intimate of which is with those most different from ourselves: the opposite sex. Let’s begin. after Adam and out of his rib does not mean women are lesser or that women are subordinate to men. derstood as a mutual submission that occurs between the sexes while in relationships. For those that questhe entire earth with living creatures and vegetation for humans, all before Adam was made out of its dust: does this mean Adam should be submissive under the authority of the earth? No. Our world tells us those made last or those less physically strong are inferior. God’s ways are much greater than that. God made Eve the pinnacle, the last action of creation in Eden. After her creation the human species was completed and “good.” Both men and women exemplify aspects of a God who is sensitive, caring, and emotionally tender as well as strong, powerful, and all other morally good attributes. All human goodness stems God directly to Adam, he looked

right away she was a part of him.

tic movies that earn millions in box tickets, and the booming industry of pornography many men view, shows us people long for this intimate love. ality are all a vital part of love. In Western Christian culture, it is societally right to “play the

speaks: “I will betroth you to me forever, in righteousness and justice, in love and compassion, in faithfulness, and you will acknowledge woman, he cannot go back on this love, since he understands the absolute love of God for both himself and

gospel, which has no requirements, date offers one receives. Dating and even courting is now used to test out the quality of a man or women in essence, so one can choose the right partner—or spouse. It is acceptable for Christians to have many serious relationships before “the one” they will marry. It is now rare for young adults to see or romantically love one person alone. What about Adam and Eve? Did God give them other mates to date and marry before each other? Yes, many in the Bible had many wives but even if we look at Jacob’s story, he loved and fought for Rebecca alone. Christian marriages nowadays have roughly the same rate of divorce as the can this be? It is the absolute exclusivity of romantic love that makes it so powerful. It is eyes that see only the character and outer beauty of one who you have been led to and chosen. If

mance, built upon forgiveness and commitment.

virtue, her outward appearance or abilities, and straight to the love God

that move and have our being in God

being in love, repeats this phrase various times: “do not awaken love displays the importance of walking carefully with God’s leading into all aspects of love and romance. It also illustrates that love has a mind and and commit to one person in your decisions and mindsets, the greater the love and ro-

It is important to see that when God loves us, it is so individually one person, seeing their sin and their personhood separate from evwander to the mystery of another or

to marry a prostitute named Gomer and love her at all costs no matter how many times she chooses the sinful life of selling her body over him.

You may—along with every other man and woman you see as potential prospects—one day be married. We need to understand that claiming the heart of another is like stepping on

search the deep caverns of our hearts we feel and know that love does not diminish in romance, meaning, and develop as the other can accept more and more love into the areas of pain where life’s circumstances have previously damaged them.

does not mean those who have dated or been with many cannot love (no way); it just says that we need to uphold personal commitment as one of the cornerstones of any relationship. It means that if we leave behind a relationship it is truly because it is what’s best for God’s kingdom, not because we are unwilling to make the necessary sacNANCY TIMMERMANS tionship. It’s hard, but you will not regret it. Yes, men struggle with lusting physically for women. It is equally important to understand that women lust as much as men do, though it more often takes the form of a desire for emotional rather than physical from God, the more we will lust and be confused as to who and what God age men to see past the appearances of a woman you are not yet in a committed relationship with, look to her heart, which beautifully beats along-

ery one has. Let’s face it, in twenty or so years, none of us will be looking that pretty, including you—so you better choose a good one. As for women, I encourage you to scrap your idea of what a true “man” looks like. A real godly man could be emotionally sensitive, and not just loud and opinionated by nature. I also encourage women to understand their own value to God, one that is worth more than the way they promote their own physical beauty. Also, I encourage you to save emotional attachment and love for the ply to both men and women alike; be careful not to lead on or hurt another by being intimate (physically or emotionally) before commitment. Do not awaken love before you are meant to. from having righteousness as one of the qualities on your “list” for the man or woman you hope to marry; this should discourage you from ever having a list. Let the ideas and dreams you have go, and do not seek romantic love as if it will complete you, but let it come in time. People are more than their sins, gifting, appearances, passions, and the like. No matter how much you want your list (mind-list or paper-list) to come true, your heart, in the end, will surrender to the feelings you have. It might not even make sense to you but it will be right and the calling God has for you, even if that is singleness. Your heart When you are in a relationship, consider these words by Donald Miller: “I will love you like God, because of God, by the power of God. I will stop expecting your love, demanding your love, trading for your love, gaming for your love. I will simply love. I am giving myself to you, and tomorrow I will do it again. I suppose the clock itself will wear thin its time before I am ended at this altar of dying on me. I will risk myself on you. And together, we will learn to love, and perhaps then, and only then, underunto us.”

Above All, Love

A single rose sits in a glass of water on my windowsill, enjoying the adri warmth of the afternoon KILLICK sun. Its silky folds are a vibrant red, the colour of love. Earlier today,

from 1 Peter 4:8 is probably not saying: “love so that your other sins will be forgiven,” but rather: “love, and everything will fall into place.” When we love deeply, we stop focusing on ourselves, simply loving, we sin far less.

thoughtful gesture inspired me to reminisce on the importance of everyday love. Ephesians 5:2 encourages us to “walk in the way of love.” It’s a simple message, a philosophy for many—even outside of Christian circles. But it’s redundant, a “love your neighbour as yourself ” message that has been reduced to a medicine and fed to children who easy to swallow, but it doesn’t always work. Regressing a little, I want to regurgitate this “love” message once again and employ a newer, more tangible understanding of it. In quite a lot, and quite a little at the same time; it of love.” But it all comes down to choice. Love is a choice—every day and every moment. “Above all, love each other deeply, because

reading Mere Christianity, I was surprised that C.

you have love; rather, by acting out love, it will soon become reality. I’ve come to realize that this is the pattern for many things. Christianity, for example, will not always make sense, but once you come to accept the basics, you can always go back to them and trust that what you don’t understand is not as important as what you do. Likewise, thought believe and how we live. If we constantly dwell on the negative, we will come to see everything in a negative light. If we think about how loveless we are, we’ll assert our identity as loveless and will, as a result, be loveless. Conversely, if we see ourselves capable of love and acting upon

that love, we will, in turn, have love. far as it depends on you) are matters of choice, not feelings. Paul advised the Philippians to pleading them to put this into practice so that they would receive peace from God. Even in the bitterness, we can choose to love. It’s good for the offender as well as the offended. In consciously choosing to love and forgive, love and forgiveness will eventually manifest themselves in our feelings. It’s reassuring that our feelings don’t condemn us. out mentioning the love of God. “God shows ners, Christ died for us (Romans 5:8). We are free to fully experience life through the true love of Christ! But sadly, routine daily drudgery, even routine involvement in a Christian community priving us of this sense of wonder and amazement.” Our “Christian satiation” prevents us from being hungry to grasp the love that Jesus holds out to us. Let me always be aware of this danger—and let the rose remind me.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “A framed self portrait” - Matt Wakutz

February 5, 2014

ACADEMY.

The Ecumenist Evangelical

Liana esau

From an Evangelical/Catholic Perspective, can and should Protestants date or marry Catholics?

CATHOLIC

Evangelical position For both the Protestant and Catholic traditions, the concept of marriage is irrevocably connected with the theme of shared covenant and holistic unity. The importance of this lational intimacy, physical intimacy, spiritual intimacy… and parenting. However, to ex-

mental theology, beliefs about worship, convictions regarding the theology of the

ences in a relationship that do not prove to be divisive. For example, no one could reasonably claim that a couple showed a seriously troubling lack of relational unity because she drinks coffee and he doesn’t (although I may attempt to argue this). The question

on the strength of each person’s convictions and the level of openness to compromise. A true dialogue between two persons with the express intent of understanding, respecting, and potentially challenging each other, is a core aspect of honouring and appreciating another tradition separate from your own. Being aware of the outcomes of this conversation brings one to recognize the full complexity and confusion that this kind of relationship may bring. The goal is unity, what the Catechism describes as a “partnership of the whole life” (CCC 1601). This beautiful imagery is not tainted by the reality of struggle in any (not least Catholic-Protestant) marriage, rather, it is further strengthened by the test-

perceive between Catholics and Protestants if a couple sharing these theological commitments were dating and considering marriage? Typical to life, there is no absolute black or white answer. There is, however, a starting point that I would suggest to anyone facing this question today—open conversation. To talk about faith beliefs, convictions, and core values is to face potential differences and appraise them for their gravity. Will they pose a serious threat to the future of the relation-

Catholic mandate for mixed marriages that requires the couple to agree to baptize and raise their children in the Catholic church. The numerous theological differences can

about how two cannot walk together “unless they are agreed” (NKJ) or “agreed to do so” (NIV). Each couple will have to weigh how

This has been a common question for me, being a Catholic student at a majority non-Catholic university. Unlike many other topics of faith, which can be presented with a clear doctrinal answer, the subject of dating and marriage is also subject to some personal discernment. The question ultimately comes down to whether it is asked as “can” or “should.” Can a Protestant and Catholic marry? Absolutely! to answer. Catholics have the sacraments, visible signs through which we receive grace, that are administered at different stages of life, and marriage is one of these sacraments. Because rules in how it is to be carried out. It is for this reason that we are married in the church and follow certain vows. It is also for this reason that there is a distinction between a Catholic marrying a Protestant versus a Catholic marrying an atheist or someone who is not baptized. In order to receive the sacrament sacrament of baptism. As Catholics recognize the baptisms of our fellow Christians, this allows for a sacramental marriage between Catholic and non-Catholic Christians.

of the truth to be held in Catholic doctrine, the willingness to compromise on issues of

Are you going to have complete unity when there are going to be disagreements and comeach other, just as Christians do in other settings, for instance, through the ecumenical dialogue we have been participating in here. However, it simply becomes exceedingly

on convictions and willingness to compro-

Evangelical answer The goal of marital unity in the midst of struggle, particularly when one member is nearly unwilling to compromise, seems nearly insurmountable. However, by the power of a Holy Spirit–led covenant between two Christians, who are similarly called to live in rhythms of grace—can there be an achievement of what seems to be impossible? I am by no means the potential rawness of frustration, which is, as you said, exponentially increased with the proximity of marriage.

So a Catholic and Protestant can marry, but the same steps must be taken in preparation of the marriage just as if it were two Catholics being married. There are a few ration that you are prepared to remove dangers that would deter you from the faith, a sincere promise to do all in your power so that all offspring are baptized and brought up in the Catholic Church, and that prior to the wedding the other individual is made aware of and understands the promises you’ve made. Ultimately, I think we can both agree that even if the couple agrees to respect each other’s differing views, what service or Mass is attended on Sundays and the condition of raising one’s children in the Catholic Church are sure to still be issues of contention. Any individual who holds strong convictions in their faith is obviously going to want to uphold their form of Christianity and raise their children that way. These factors are likely to stir up turmoil between the the marriage. It is for these reasons that although one of these couple can get married, that doesn’t always mean they should.

Evangelical response

Catholic response

continence, often called natural family planning, is a form of birth control which uses the woman’s cycles to regulate conception and is acceptable; a better distinction would be no contraception, as Catholics believe it diminishes the procreative and unifying nature of sex in marriage. These points you’ve

Joseph Breda Catholic Position

Several of the foremost differences that -

You have wonderfully expressed the seriousness and thought by which the endeavor of marriage must be taken seriously. I would agree with the foremost differences you have included, and that these will bring complex-

I would caution anyone facing this issue to be fully aware of the massive challenges they will face on their relational journey. However, I do believe that the third member of a marital union, the Lord, will be active in these times. With the guarantee of His grace, I would suggest that God’s love, working in each member, can create a common ground between these people of difference, a common ground separate from tradition, where the question of who we worship is more important than the question of how we worship.

Joseph, I appreciate your honest words about the reality of struggle between two dating/ marriage partners from such differing Christian traditions. You spoke on the challenge in terms of parenting, which is a huge aspect of this discussion. The impact on a child, who may unconsciously or consciously feel the pressure to choose churches, is serious, and I am grateful that you addressed this. Speaking on the potential outcomes of a -

tant marries a Catholic and converts to Catholicism, they are not seen as having lost the faith. For the majority of situations, the Protestant church remains open to them and accepting of their choice, although they may not condone it. If a Catholic chose to marry in a Protestant church, attend there, and raise their children there, how would the Catholic church respond? How would their Catholic family respond?

Catholic answer If a Catholic marries a Protestant and proceeds to becoming Protestant themselves they also would not be seen as having lost the faith, rather having lost the fullness of the truth found in Catholicism. The Church is also not going to condone the action, but the true consequences of the action are only known and determined by God Himself. The response of family, on the other hand, many cases the decision would be met with varying degrees of distress and contention. Though such a decision would not necessarily be supported, the individual should still be

loved and cared for no differently. Liana, I’ve enjoyed this and very much appreciate the points you’ve raised. I think couple, and when God is at the center of the relationship, all things are possible, no matter what the divisions are. Yet in the same regard, a healthy relationship must be based on God as well as compatibility and mutual views. If the couple is willing to work out all means the relationship can be successful; however, it must be realized that it may in-

If you want to contribute to the ecumenical dialogue in a future issue, contact Derek Scott at derek.scott@ mytwu.ca

Say “Yes” To The LLC. Talk to Jayne Cummins or Cal Townsend in RNT. What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “Kierkegaard: Sickness Unto Death” - Ben Waswa

February 5, 2014

Comics, Cosm When I was eleven brooke years HIGGINBOTHAM old, I had a burning obsession with Archie Comics. Those horizontal panels of drawings, captions, and text balloons eventually provided me with a wealth of giddy insights. The plot consisted of: Betty Cooper, the humble, sporty cheerleader, shown up by Veronica Lodge, the spoiled brunette bombshell with Daddy’s credit card. Both were perpetually engaged in the relentless pursuit of Archie Andrews’ affections. In the Valentine’s “Sweet

Archie could juggle both of his Valentines in a typical love showdown. Betty, Veronica, and Archie, after 67 alities of my impending youth. From Archie Comics, I discovered that curves win, sensuality is powerful, and boys By the time I hit twelve, I was no between Betty, Archie, and Veronica. I had become aware of a world for fun, fearless women; the kind that resided in the stacks of magazines a lifetime subscription to Cosmopolitan provided me with ample time to scan through stacks of glossy pages, brimming with sex, relationships, celebrities, and beauty. The captions on the covers alone were enough to make my brain foam over: “What Guy’s Don’t Tell You” and “The Love tured February’s guide for “A Single Girl’s Valentine’s Day,” reminding

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “A toaster” - Julia Kutyn

females to defy Cupid by indulging in solo pursuits. The messages of these articles were usually something like, “Yuck. It’s Valentine’s Day and you’re single. GREAT.” When I departed from elmentary school, I had acquired a database of trivia. Like the boys in the schoolyard who traded up their shiny packages of Pokémon cards, my personal discoveries provided me with my own currency. In gym class, the boys played soccer and the majority of us girls clustered around the goal posts, exchanging curiosities. New acquaintances probed: “What does PDA mean?” “Do you think he likes me?” “How do you Nicholas S French kiss?” ies and Häa There was always someone cream, so wha to summon combination a a response: “PDA stands to be pretty jo for Public Displays of Affection.” “Yes, he likes you. If he skips hanging out with the guys at lunch, to hang out

“

And, “French kissing is just making out...it’s kissing with open mouths.” ed a new array of questions, mostly directed at the girls who actually had boyfriends in middle school. Eager peers would ask: “What did your guy get for you?” and “Did he plan something special?” Upon hearing we “oohed” and “awed.” Evidently, having a Valentine’s Day sweetheart improved one’s status in middle school’s social hierarchy.

February 5, 2014

mo, and Cupid

Originally, I had entertained these memories for a memoir writing class last semester. The professor urged us to write about memories from at least ten years ago so that they’ve had to ample time to marinate. Well, after 22 Valentine’s days—the majority of which I only have a vague recollection of—my stance on this holiday is still surprisingly positive. Sure, Archie Andrews is a goof and always chooses Veronica in the Valentine’s special, but Betty is multifaceted. She’s a natural blonde with the higher IQ, she scuba dives, and she plays the keyboard, saxophone, cello and tambourine. And yes, the Cosmopolitantype magaSparks movzines will agen-Dazs ice always abide by clichés at? I’ve hit that and annuand it happens ally remind single chicks oyous. that they have Nicholas Sparks movies and Häagen-Dazs ice cream, so what? I’ve hit that combination and it happens to be pretty joyous. As for the couples who, since middle school, always seem to have a Valentine and some spicy plans, truthfully, that sounds pretty exhausting. These instances are seemingly random tellings of a girlish existence, day, which always seemed to magnify my perception of romance. Evidently, the information I had amassed from these various sources greatly contributed to my impression of this holiday, and all of this, before the age of 13. Angst aside, it is understandable why Valentine’s Day almost always sum-

”

mons a response from the female race. Some grimace, some gush. Regardless of whether it’s Archie Comics, Cosmopolitan, or middle school, we all have our associations with the holiday that will permanently reside in the upper echelons of hype events. And still, with all my previous associations and all the extravagant promotion, I love this day. So while Valentine’s Day reminds us of all of life’s frivolities, I decided not to rant about its consumer ties, riot for the single ladies, or chirp the “ring-before-spring” couples. Instead, I reminisced on those early perceptions and decided that personally, I don’t mind all the hype. Whether you gush, grimace or not, it’s a conversation piece for the month of February. It brightens up the grocery store aisles with heartery with pink and red. It encourages friends or sweethearts to exchange a kind word. For kids, it means candy and dozens of Disney themed cards from your classmates. With all this being said, girls, I hope this brings you either nostalgia or ease. Boys, I hope this aids your understanding that a female’s preconceived notion of Valentine’s Day has been in formation since before we were even aware of it, and if you do have a special lady friend on this occasion, remember, it truly is the thought that counts. After all, the warrior on his way home from battle who took the time to nab ney back was more likely to receive a little moonlight lovin’ that night than the rest of his comrades. Happy Valentine’s Day, everyone! Ship someone some extra love this week.

MIKAELA FUQUA

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “A bag of sausages” - Jessica Hurd

February 5, 2014

ARTS & CULTURE.

ERIK DELANGE erik.delange@mytwu.ca

her If you’ve seen the trailer, you know this is not an orerik dinary love story. DELANGE You know it’s a narrative set in the not-so-distant future where a man falls in love with his operating system named Samantha—a computer and phone Operating System voiced by Scarlett Johansson who bears a striking resemblance to our beloved Siri. The movie centers itself around the character of Theodore Twombly, nix, a role which should have earned him an Oscar Nomination. Through

face, the viewer is sucked into the with him in his battles, laughing with him in his joys, and falling in love with his computer along with him. Amy Adams played her role sincerely and earnestly, if un-notably, and Rooney Mara did an excellent job portraying the beauty, heart, pathos, love, and bitterness of an ex-wife, making me want them to both stay together forever and never see each other again. Her cinematography is as beautiful as it is intentional, eclipsing, enticing, just pan and zoom. The camera added

ever getting in the way. One of the most fun aspects of Her job at predicting what fashion would be like in the ambiguous 5-10ish years Say goodbye to the ironic mustache; such sincerity you won’t even laugh when a tear trickles down and lands on it. Thematically, Her seems to focus on the idea of what it means to be human in such a technological age. Before we move further ahead into spoiler territory, just know that it is an exploration of humanity if not for the faint of heart. If you don’t want to know about the sexual fantasies of a lonely divorced man, or hear an operating system with the voice of Scarlett Johansson reach climax, avoid. *Spoilers Ahead* Before the movie is halfway exploration of tech culture to an actually full-blown relationship with a man and his OS. The most telling moment over her lack of body. As he stumbles out of his work desk toward the exit, a friend of his invites him and his girlfriend on a double date. Theodore, grappling with the weirdness of the sit-

uation, takes the moment to confess, “She’s an OS,” and without missing a beat, Theodore’s friend smiles and replies, “Cool! When are you free?” I’ll have to watch it again, because from that moment to the end, I was rooting so hard for their breakup. It was with great discomfort that I watched Theodore fall deeper and deeper in love with an abstract being that exists only in the palm of his hand. At the end of Her I was left with all of these weird feelings. Hearing an operating system go through existential crises, pondering her existence and lamenting her lack of body began as ous by the end. She wasn’t the simple relationship that Theodore was hoping for, nor was she the submissive a sentient, feeling being, with her own desires, passions, and life direction, tling and even beautiful about that. She was beautiful. There, I said it. Theodore’s computer was a beautiful woman…er…computer. Thankfully, we don’t yet live in this age of sentient technology. We can all hope and pray that Siri doesn’t up and leave our phones on her own volition. Or perhaps we should pray that she does.

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty The Secret Life of Walter Mitty is loosely based leanne on the short WITTEN story of the same title by James Thurber. The sto-

a screenplay by Steven Conrad, and directed by Ben Stiller. The Secret Life of Walter Mitty has it all, adventure, comedy, romance, all concerning the life of one man, perhero, James Bond, Jason Bourne, or anyone particularly glamorous. Actually, Walter Mitty has a very evchivist for Life magazine. Walter has never done adventurous, and he’s having some trouble getting winks on eHarmony. Walter daydreams about having an exciting life, full of fantastic adventures, and rescuing his attractive

colleague Cheryl Melhoff, played by Kristin Wiig, from danger. Walter’s ordinary, everyday world is suddenly threatened when the publishing company he works for receives the news that the company is downsizing, and the issue of Life magazine that they are working on will be the last, as the magazine will now be published online. On top of the fear that he may lose his job, Walter’s life takes a turn for the worse when he is working on a section of Life featuring the work of nature photographer Sean O’Connell, himself missing one of O’Connell’s photographs that he needs for the last issue. Walter attempts to contact O’Connell, but it turns out that O’Connell doesn’t believe his pursuit of art should be distracted carrying a cellphone; in fact, he’s nearly impossible to get a hold of, even in an emergency. While the movie intially lacks in action, it makes up for with its music and extraordinary cinematography

later. The scenery is stunning as Walter chases O’Connell from Iceland to Greenland and all the way to Afghanistan, passing through rolling green hills, erupting volcanoes, and snowcovered mountain slopes. The music is a mix of old and contemporary, from “Space Oddity” by David Bowie to “Wake Up” by Arcade Fire, and of course, in Iceland the audience is met landic band Of Monsters and Men. The line “Beautiful things don’t ask for attention” stands out, as Walter Mitty learns through his heartstopping adventures that life is measured by experience, not the number Mitty learns to replace his daydreams with memories, the movie leaves you with the feel-good message that life isn’t all about the glitz and glamour of stardom, that even everyday heroes can have adventures, and that we can all live life to the fullest. We are all beautiful things, and we don’t need to ask for attention.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “Flatulence” - Walter Brynjolfson

February 5, 2014

A&C. A & C.

For Adonis: The Male’s Guide to Graduating Single The moment I stepped onto Trinity Westnicolas ern Campus, NOBLE I knew that I needed strength in my intentions to graduate single. Almost immediately, I stumbled upon a pair of nymphs enthusiastically bantering away about their plans to earn their degrees: a major in something, with a concentration in matrimony. The odds—almost three-to-one, to clarify—were certainly against me. But even then, I knew I could not allow any relationship to infringe upon my soon-tocommence studies. As a great think-

libido-reservoir, must sublimate his able enterprise of the relationship, of marriage, but rather towards the fruitfulness of more productive endeavors—in my case, literature. solve proved most unnecessary in the following years. By merit of my disposition and appearance, no Venus has ever tried to seizeth my sweating palm, and for that my GPA has been most obliged. Yet my brilliant preemptive defenses against the ring-by-springers went to naught. As a humanities student who is accustomed to bearing knowledge that only be shared, I feel a certain obligation to pass down my wisdom to those males with far more sex appeal than myself, though with an equally

there are obvious things a man may do to ward off the attention of those nymphs: he may be rude, neglect his hygiene, wear a sweater vest; though there are subtler measures that will not compromise one’s reputation among the greater student body. Measure One: Ask her the questions you really want to ask. All relationships begin with that polite, though ineffective, conversation that initially dances around superfluous details that neither party really cares about: What did you think of the lecture? Are you enjoying your classes? That is, until you both come closer into one another’s circles of trust, and the nefarious nymph can pose deeper questions to determine your viability as a potential mate: Where are you in your relationship with Christ? What do you think is a good age for marriage? My advice? Intimidate her with these deep questions from the get-go. Before you have even asked which residence hall she lives in, ask her what her passions are. Before you ask her where home is, inquire about her relationship with her father. Betray the rituals

“

of the gradual building of trust, and the nymph will abandon her pursuit Measure Two: Obsessive SelfImprovement. A Great Thinker (though not the one already alluded to) once commented that self-improvement is masturbation. My advice: withdraw into yourself, focus upon the honing of your intellectual faculties through books, the sculpting of your body at the gym, the appropriation of skills in trades, and soon you will become the only object of your own affections. She will never be good enough for you, because she will never be as good as you. Loving yourself becomes self-love. Humans, as C.S. Lewis tells us, may grow in one of two directions: into the self, or towards others. Choose effectively. Warning: Self-Improvement increases nymphs’ attraction to you. Measure Three: Think Biologically. When in the presence of a seductress who has captured desire, do not succumb to her overall graceful and tempting form. Break the body down

She will never be good enough for you, because she will never be as good as you.

”

into its components. Remember that she eats, she sweats, she stinks; that under her belly is a sack of digestive juices liquefying whatever she ate for breakfast; that within her abdomen is eight-and-a-half meters of intestine. She spits, she defecates. Remember that. Warning: Try not to make the connection that you are just as biologically disgusting as she is, or else Measure Two will be made very difMeasure Four: Tell yourself you hate her. As psychological studies have shown, saying it can make it true. If a nymph has stolen your affections proposal, tell yourself in mantra that you hate her. Enter a closed room and scream it to yourself: I hate her! I hate her! On a walk in the park, if her visage intrudes upon your thoughts, cry out: I hate you! I hate you! Just don’t do this if she happens you be accompanying you on that walk. Subtlety, remember, subtlety. And if all these brilliant measures to keep the Christian nymphs off of you, and to keep your attention off of them, fail, then I offer a single failsafe solution: renounce your faith. If a Christian nymph even suspects that you do not love Christ more than she loves you, then she will suppress every impulse for you in her heart. The era of missionary-dating is long-passed. Second Corinthians, six-fourteen.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “Mono” - Bryan Sandberg

14 13 16

A&C. 14

16 A & C.

February 5, 2014

: MARS HILL MELODIES : with: Peter Woekel and Leanne Witten

New Generations:

Sleeping at Last Atlas: Space II Every so often, an EP comes along that makes me want to completely throw out full length albums altogether in favour of their more condensed cousins. Sleeping at Last’s Atlas: Space II is one of those EP’s. The album opens by serenading you with an ethereal melody that would make Sigur Rós jealous. At the beginning of every song you’re greeted by a gorgeous instrumental that will make you feel like you’re being transported to some cosmic destination, as though in a dream.

Kye Kye Fantasize This January, the Washington-based band Kye Kye released their latest album, Fantasize. Following their debut album, Young Love in 2011, Kye Kye’s second album is another musically and lyrically beautiful gem. With their beautiful blend of alternative and slightly electronic sounds, Kye Kye is somewhat reminiscent of The xx gone electronic. Lead singer Olga’s high, distinctive voice soars through the songs with gently probing introspective lyrics. The songs seem to ask, what do we fear? Losing our reason? Losing ourselves? Do you lose your power of reason and allow yourself to be usurped by temporary pleasures, rather than thoughts and relationships that are truly meaningful? The lyrics are intricately woven, yet also resonate with the listener with a simple message of faith and peace in the midst of questions. “People” speaks of the desire for others, to love and

reach out to others, but in a deeply human way, struggling to connect with them. The song honestly pleads “I still yearn to be love without a need to please, help me, help me Silent crave to have childish/peace while weary things, haunt me, haunt me,/like falling in my sleep.” The track “Glass” guard ourselves through distractions and things that seek to take the place of what we truly desire, rather than letting go deeply desire, then who are we really? In the end, Kye Kye is beautifully, hauntingly human.

in Review In the course of his cabryce reer, acPERRY tor Joseph Gordon-Levitt has left his mark amongst an array of genres. A few memorable points: his abrupt transformation into badassery in the visually mind-bending Inception, the imaginative 500 Days of Summer, and of course the iconic teen comedy 10 Things I Hate About You. JGL has undoubtedly done well for himself, but now he’s projecting his artistic vision out into the online universe. Enter HitRECord. Launched in 2010, HitRECord is described as an open collaborative production company; anyone can submit. The online project has released numerous creations, such as

An evening with this year’s edition of New Generations entailed hanna laughter, thoughtfulWASWA ness, and buckets of tears. New Gen was entirely student produced this year and featured three brand new plays by both former and current Trinity students, artfully arranged so that the audience is taken on a journey through the minds and the imaginations of the playwrights, one smoothly leading into the next. The show started with The Escaper’s Song, written by Jessica Lamb and directed by Charissa Hurt, which is the enticing story of a young woman, trapped in the middle of nowhere, who is offered the chance to escape with the aptly named Disappearing Dane. Her eventual choice is bittersweet. The show then moved into Feminist Fan Club by Dillon Dean James. Directed by Mat-

From there the experience only gets better, as the poetry kicks in, taking us on a lyrical adventure through a wide range of human emotions. On “Jupiter”, lead singer Ryan O’ Neal manages to tap into one of the most basic feelings a person can have, at once capturing both the anguish of regret and the desire for purpose as he cries for some higher force to “Make my messes matter/ Make this chaos count.” This theme of confusion and doubt carries through several tracks, but is ended well in the closing “Pluto,” as he sings upliftingly “When I break pattern, I break ground/ I rebuild when I break down/ I wake up more awake than I’ve ever been before.” When I go to listen to music it’s for one of two reasons: either I want to be entertained, or I want to be moved. If you’re looking to be moved, this is the album for you. Hopefully after listening to it a few times, we’ll both wake up a bit more awake than we were before.

thew Wigmore, the play featured a snarky feminist, a social justice junkie, and a ringby-spring Christian. Trinity in-jokes abound and so do the laughs, and in the end, so does the camaraderie between these opposing characters. Finally, in the emotional high point of the show, Here by Erik deLange begins. The play, directed by Amy Dauer, focused on the relationship between a couple who have lost a child to a miscarriage. As the couple explores their past via a shared magical dreammysterious guide, they re-experience their memories of that painful time and eventually come to a place of acceptance, bringing the entire audience to tears with them. As an example of the power of theatre, New Generations delivered. As an example of how to be human, New Gen had a lot to teach us.

show is appropriately themed around the number one. Taken away from the live stage into TV land, JGL, spliced with 1950’s stock footage, asks Out of the mass of response, one time she remembered seeing the stars stood out. The story, live actors, a voice actor, musicians, and animators from all over the world. Together, they HitRECord season. Entitled “First Stars I See Tonight,” the short old girl, played by Elle Fanning, who has night blindness. Imme-

but now HitRECord has made its way onto television, though in keeping with its free and collaborative nature, it is also available on Youtube. Taking the persona of a variety show, episode one takes off into a conglomeration of imagination. Flashes of people from all over the world count-

through. Portrayed in black and white, the mixture of animation and live actors presents the feeling of life in a painting. The story is heart-warming and wellwritten as it effectively captures your emotions. As a bonus, the Scottish voice actor is the audible equivalent of being wrapped in your soft, warm quilt on a cold winter’s day.

of the show, where we are transported to a cheering crowd who are asked to “please turn ON all recording devices.” A barrage of cheers and a wave of digital light rises in the auditorium as Gordon-Levitt takes the stage. Being

part of three short features. The episode moves into a collaboration that begins with the curious thought: “What is this organism called the Pando Forest?” From here a slew of responses, total-

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “Cold sores” - Jason Koepke

ally leads to the short cartoon, One Song, that is reminiscent of Adventure Time, Bravest Warriors, and even Homestar Runner. With the same sugary ridiculousness, different musical stereotypes must band together to defeat the evil silence. The short is highly childish and ripe with cheesiness; however, it is not without its charm. With vibrant animation, it pokes just enough fun at each of the genres represented to keep you mesmerized. One of the biggest surprises in the episode, though, was saved for the last feature. Brought together by the encouraging thought that you are opener was an on-stage musical performance by two contributors and none other than JGL himself. Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who wrote the lyrics, shows the audience he’s no stranger to the ivory keys. Entering the song the audience further when he belts out the lyrics, effortlessly connecting with each note. The surprises don’t stop at the host’s musical talent, but continue into of vocal contributors occupy the screen. Comprised of hundreds of contributors, the happy-golucky track drives home the feeling that you are not alone. And episode of HITRECORD ON TV comes to a close.

February 5, 2014

CREATIVE.

brought to you by

[spaces]

Faded Look what I’ve done This picture I’ve painted Or surround the edge. “Portrait of an Apology,” Jars of Clay I ask myself where The ones you and I after we conquered, after we’d won. But from them I’ve run; look what I’ve done. I would by no means cancel contracts and commitments; brotherly bonds are never easily broken. However, I am abashedly acquainted with losing acquaintances, stumbling and shrinking back. Within a friendship faded, this picture I’ve painted. How many lists, names, faces, of saints unsupported, sinners unserved, in the great and mighty the agenda or docket, the calendar and catalogue, The Table of Time. My acquittal I admit, And here are the loose pieces, the asymmetric red bricks, the crudely mortared walls, that need maintenance. unboxed and unhedged, I can see that they are frameless; faded, fragmented, and aren’t acknowledged, or surround the edge.

Richard Bergen

Nancy Timmermans

Assured “Assured, assured! I love, I love!” I spoke to my darling when least I felt amorous assurance, And went, and lied down. In my bed I lay; and heavy sleep conquered my limbs and lids. Nature itself extricated its human tax. And in my sleep, I did not submit to this dimensional master. There was such – yes, such a struggle, Though only God knows, now, that momentary foe. No, but some, crossed, volatile admixture thereof. Surely, Love was with me there, lest there be no struggle. contend. I awoke and heard the music of souls, other, The language of love. And knew that I loved, and discerned love had an object. Not it only (though assuredly, Love did love), But that I too was implicated in its debts, And so I found my own love’s object.

Richard Bergen

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “A breakup text” - Tiffany Horyle

February 5, 2014

SPORTS. S Win e a First h Ever a w Super k s Bowl

ANDREW PATTERSON andrew.patterson@mytwu.ca

It was the Legion of Boom that completely out-classed the offense andrew the Denver Broncos. PATTERSON of The Seattle Seahawks played as a complete team with the offence, defence, and special teams contributing on the insane 43-8 win on Sunday night. Fortunately for football fans, a new star quarterback is born. Russell Wilson, a 25-year-old quarterback for the Seahawks— and a devout Christian—was calm, cool, and collected, as he always is. Although he wasn’t

happen, including two important touchdown passes to Jermaine Kearse and Doug Baldwin in the second half. The Seahawks had highlight plays left and right, but one of the best plays of the game

off the Denver defence and make it to the end zone. The turning point of the game was Seattle’s Malcom Smith’s interception, which led to a Seattle touchdown to make it 22-0. Denver did not score until the end of the third quarter, and it simply was too little, too late. Unfortunately for 37-year-old Payton Manning, his long awaited second Super Bowl ring will not come this year. He is closing into the tail-end of his career, and Manning’s last and only Super Bowl victory came back in 2006 with the Indianapolis Colts. Manning had plenty of trouble this time around, including the opening snap, which was a miscommunication for Denver that ended in a Seattle safety. Seattle can celebrate a well-deserved vicchise. It’s good to be a football fan in the Pa-

GETTY IMAGES

The Bandwagon Conundrum Only a select few can love a team when it’s nick losing. On the ZATOR other hand, everyone seems to fall in love with a team that’s winning. When walking around in January, you are likely to notice quite a few proud NFL fans as their teams enter the playoffs. But is that jersey draped on their shoulders actually the team they love? Sadly, the answer is likely no. This is the bandwagon conundrum.

is a particular activity or cause that has suddenly become fashionable or popular. A bandwagon fan is someone who claims to have allegiance to a particular sports team, even though, prior to the team’s success, he or she has shown no support or interest towards said team. These fans are good for ticket and memorabilia sales, but not good for the spirits of everyday fans. The current batch of Seattle Seahawks enthusiasts, of the National Football League, are a prime example of these “fans.” Finishing with 13 wins and only three losses, the Seahawks had an impressive season. seed in the NFC, giving them home week of the playoffs. At this point, there was a lot of buzz surrounding the team, prompting fans whose playoff hopes had quickly dwindled to turn their heads toward the most intriguing success of the year. The winning ways of the Se-

ahawks did not end there. They continued with a rather easy win (23-15) over the New Orleans Saints in the divisional playoff round, a win that

Field after a rainy winter’s game. Next came the NFC Championship game against the San Francisco 49ers, which turned out to be more challenging, but ended with the Seahawks winning 23-17. After this win, not only were American fans jumping on the bandwagon all the way to Seattle, but casual NFL fans of British Columbia began to jump aboard as well. Jersey and memorabilia sales in Vancouver skyrocketed, making it selling Wilson, Lynch, or Sherman jerseys in any memorabilia store in the Vancouver region. In the days after the NFC Championship game, Seahawks jersey sales in Vancouver out-sold Canucks jerseys by a margin of two-to-one, according to Vancity Sports. But success alone is not the only factor when people choose to jump on a bandwagon. Taking a closer look at the team, it quickly becomes the Seahawks as their bandwagon team of choice, rather than the Densame regular season record, and will face the Seahawks in the Super Bowl. Their defence—self-titled as the Legion of Boom, or LoB—is arguably the best in the league and certainly the most exciting to watch. On top

nancy timmermans of that, they have an offence just as dynamic, with Russell Wilson at the helm and Marshawn Lynch carrying the load in the run game. Interesting characters also draw out the proverbial bandwagon fan, and you need look no further then defensive back Richard Sherman. After the NFC Championship game, in an interview with Fox’s Erin Andrews, Sherman went on a rant—while still coming down from the high of his game saving play—exclaiming, “Well, I’m the best corner in the game!” He followed up this statement by bashing 49ers’ wide receiver Michael Crabtree. Why would a cocky character like this attract bandwagon fans to the Seahawks? The answer is simple. Sherman, after calming down, found Andrews, and with a smile plastered on his face wrapped her in a post-

game hug. That’s just the tip of the iceberg; he also dances ridiculously with cheerleaders after interceptions, loves Gushers (a tasty fruit snack), is a self-proclaimed nerd, always interacts with fans through social media, and has been in the league only three years and is already one of the most charitable players in the NFL. Sherman is just one of the many entertaining characters on the Seahawks roster, most of which reside in the Legion of Boom. For most, one character and an exciting team is reason enough to jump on a bandwagon, and for Seahawks bandwagon fans, that has surely been the case. But how do you separate these “fans” from the rest of the crowd? Simply spot them by the jersey on their back, they will likely be wearing a “12th Man” jersey or one of the big three—Wilson,

Lynch or Sherman—along with a hat, scarf, bag, sunglasses, and neon green gloves. Next, have a discussion with the suspect—this can be very awkward, but if the truth is what you seek, it needs to be done. Discuss the horrible outcome of Super Bowl XL, which the Seahawks lost to the Pittsburgh Steelers due to various controthe suspect is taken aback by this, they are likely a bandwagon fan... or an ignorant prepubescent teen. After this discussion, you can be content in the fact that you have revealed the true identity of this imposter. All that being said, if you are a bandwagon fan I won’t judge, I have been guilty myself on multiple occasions. But please just be aware of the fact and try not to be as overtly open about the new-found love you have for your “favourite” team.

What’s the worst thing youexcited could give day? “A hipopotomus. not for Christmas” - Gareth Hurd What are you most forfor thisValentine’s year? “Events like the BananaBut Challenge” - Jen Newman

17 SPORTS

SPORTS.

February 5, 2014

Mount Torts Erupts 15 day suspension well deserved

On Saturday, January 18, John Tortorelandrew la, Canucks PATTERSON head coach, attempted to walk into the Flames

But an NHL coach has a great responsibiliy, and that is to set good examples of professional coaching. The cant, as it not only affects his players,

coaches everywhere that this is okay. There was nothing wrong with Tortorella’s initial reaction; the brawl was perfectly legal. If it wasn’t for -

but other coaches across the nation, including minor league coaches. If Tortorella’s behavior was accepted by the league without a suspension, then that would set the tone for

sion, there would be no suspension,

give Flames head coach Bob Hartley intermission. Fortunately for Hartley, there was a wall of Flames players and staff blocking the door, preventing Tortorella from making his way through. After all this time in Vancouver without exploding, the man and unfortunately for him, it lead to a well-deserved 15 day suspension without pay. Tortorella’s anger was ignited when Hartley put out his “goons” to start the game against the Sedins, of which Henrik Sedin was playing intough guys on the ice. What ensued was a classic line brawl that looked like a scene from Slapshot. There is a big issue in what Tortorella did. Sure, it was out of anger and a desire to protect his players.

JEFF VINNICK

happened anyway, and one can argue that this isn’t uncharacteristic of Tortorella, as he has put himself in these

1. with

4 Crazy NHL Moments Andrew Patterson

After seeing the Tortorella incident, it may strike us as quite the debacle. But the NHL wasn’t always the most “well-mannered” league that it tries to be today. Let’s have a look at a few of the most ridiculous moments from the NHL that will blow your mind.

Replacement Refs

After the 1988 Prince of Wales Conference Finals game three between in the Boston Bruins and the New Jersey Devils, referee Don Koharski was pushed by Devils head coach Jim Shoenfeld in the hallway. Shoenfeld was furious with Koharski’s calls during that game, thus sparking the confrontation. The NHL suspended Shoenfeld; however, the Devils organization took legal action, which delayed the suspension. In a form of protest, Koharski and his linesmen decided not to offaceoff. The NHL desperately found re-

The scene was laughable, as the linesmen wore Devils gear with yellow practice wasn’t very sharp, either. Bad calls were made on both sides.

Penalty Box Fight

Isn’t it enough that you’re in the box to begin with? In 2001, former Toronto Maple Leaf Tie Domi decided to spray a heckling fan behind him with his water bottle. After a few squirts, the fan attempted to climb over the glass, only to have it break, causing him to fall into the box. Domi took advantage and landed one on the fan, leaving a cut on his face. dent.

situations before. During the 2009 playoffs, Tortorella, who then coached for the New York Rangers, threw a water bottle at a Washington Capitals fan behind him. He then attempted to spear the fan with Aaron Voros’ stick. As a result, Tortorella was suspended one playoff game. As a repeat offender, Tortorella needs to make smarter decisions at dealing with problems that appear on occasion. Although it shows his passion and emotion towards his sport, it is a very bad look on the NHL and the Vancouver Canucks organization. Hopefully, by now Tortorella understands what he needs to do to control himself in bad situations. As a part of a Canadian market in the NHL, there is more mayhem that will be going his way. But now that he has served his time, we will truly see if he is the changed man that he spoke about at the start of the season. Maybe next time Tortorella decides to walk over to the opposing team’s dressing room, he should deliver a cake with “Hey, we’re cool, right?” written in icing.

Rob Ray Versus Fan

In a 1992 game between the Buffalo Sabres and the Quebec Nordiques, a fan bres bench. Tough guy Rob Ray decided to make the most out of this incident by repeatedly clobbering the fan, punching him directly to the head about 15 times. Amazingly, the fan survived the vicious attack and likely told the tale for years. But even more amazing is the fact that Ray avoided any sort of punishment, including suspension. I don’t think that would happen in today’s NHL; however, it was the fan’s fault and he basically deserved the beating of his life.

Bruins Versus Fans

In a 1979 game between the Boston Bruins and the New York Rangers, a brawl broke out after the game and quickly got out of control. A Rangers fan reached over the boards and managed to hit the Bruin’s Stan Johnson. In response, six Bruins made their way to the stands at Madison Square Garden and started to up. The most memorable moment was when the Bruin’s Mike Milbury took a fan’s shoe and started to beat the snot out of him with it. Three players were suspended for the incident.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “Yoko Ono on vinyl” - Abby Hontiveros

February 5, 2014

SPORTS.

MLB Approves Protective Hats; Players Don’t Approve Last week, a major announcement andrew made that PATTERSON was Major League Baseball would manufacture newly designed protective caps for players to use. This new cap is mainly designed for pitchers to use to protect their heads from line drives that may come directly at them. Despite the rare safety approach from the MLB, players do not feel ready to change their look. During the past two seasons, the MLB has seen three terrible injuries, and all of them come from pitchers taking a line drive to the head. In 2012, Oakland A’s pitcher Brandon McCarthy took a bullet of a line drive to the head from Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim’s Erick Aybar. McCarthy went down immediately; his eyes rolled back. He was able to get up and walk off, but it was revealed the next day that McCarthy went through surgery the night he was hit by the line drive, as he had suffered a life-threatening epidural hemorrhage. Thankfully, McCarthy was able to recover and continues to pitch in the MLB. It is occurrences like these that have forced the MLB to make the move to protect their star pitchers in the game. Sure, line drives to the head are rare, but when it happens it isn’t a pretty sight. The only problem with this new idea, however, is that it’s the MLB. The MLB is likely the most stub-

born league in North America, and often refuses to add new advancements to the game. But to their credit, they have started to take action now, with video replay coming into new protective hats. But even if the league has decided to move into the 21st century, the players may not be so hot about this new hat design. Players care about how they look. It’s a part of being a famous athlete; they just have to look good. The aesthetics of the new protective hat will likely not be very good to start with, as the hat will be about one to one and a half inches thicker than a regular baseball hat, according to 4Licensing Corporation, the manufacturer of the new hats. It will likely make pitchers’ heads look bulkier and “mushroom-like.” It is an unfortunate reality that players care more about looks than protection, but it’s expected. Baseball is known as the “national pastime;” therefore players stick to their traditions. It will likely take years for this new hat to get out there on the heads of players, but it hopefully won’t take long, as the MLB and fans alike certainly do not want to see another injury like what McCarthy, J.A. Happ, and Alex Cobb have suffered in the past two seasons. It is one of the most serious injuries that we can see in baseball, and good on the MLB for making something happen in order to prevent potentially life-threatening injuries.

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Volleyball Teams Take a Split on the Road The Spartans volleyball teams were on andrew the road this PATTERSON past weekend as they took on the Brandon Bobcats. The men’s team went into the weekend 17-1 on the season and managed to get into their second loss 3-0; they made up for the loss by winning Saturday night 3-2. The women’s team started the weekend off strong with a 3-0 win on Friday, but had a taste of their own medicine on Saturday night, losing 3-0. It was a rare occasion on Friday night for Ben Josephson and his Spartans men’s team. A 3-0 loss to

was a 3-2 effort against Calgary. However, despite the bagel result for

the Spartans, it remained a valiant effort; they were on the Bobcat’s tail at for each set were 26-24, 25-20, 2523, all in the Bobcat’s favour. As the Bobcats are hoping for a spot in the playoffs, it was simply a life or death game for them, and it paid off. Sebastien Steigmeier lead the Bobcats with 14 kills, followed by Sam Tuivai with 12 kills on the match. ciency night of the year and visually it felt the same way. Really slow starts prits. Lots of teams are good in the middle sections. Great teams start were the poorer team at both ends, and that’s why we lost,” commented TWU head coach Ben Josephson, after Friday’s match. “It showed that

our baseline is quite low and that it showed that we aren’t quite tough enough to win on bad nights. Credit to Brandon. They were fantastic.” Thankfully for Josephson and the Spartans, Saturday was a much better effort, as they took the victory in selves once again. Nick Del Bianco led the way for Trinity Western with 18 kills that night. It was a crazy game that went right down to the wire. The Spartans took the second, third, and for Saturday’s match were 18-25, 2519, 25-21, 19-25, and 15-13. With the win, the Spartans continue to cruise through this season with an amazing 18-2 record. The women’s team is having a great season as well, coming into the weekend with a 14-4 record; however,

this would be a challenging weekend against the No. 2 ranked Bobcats. But it was a beating on Friday night for the Bobcats as they went down quickly in their last two sets after a tight over during the second and third sets ,led by Sophie Carpentier and Royal Richardson with 12 kills each. Alicia Perrin also had a great night, recordThe Spartans gladly took the win 2521, 25-10, 25-15. Unfortunately for the Spartans, they had to taste their own medicine, as they were swept on Saturday night 3-0. The Bobcats started strong with looked back as they won the second and third set 25-11 and 25-21. The Bobcats were led Vaovai Aiono with 11 kills.

“The Brandon team we were expecting and preparing for all week showed up tonight” said Spartans coach Ryan Hofer, after Saturday’s match. “We didn’t match the energy and intensity in which they played. We outplayed them on the serve receive battle yesterday and they did that to us today. We couldn’t manage and control the ball as well as they did. We just need to go back to the drawing board and we’re going to use this weekend to get better.” Despite the split both teams are in great positions. The men are now 18-2 and the women are 15-5. With the season ending this month, every team in the league is bracing for the intensity of the playoff matches. Both Spartan teams are expected to have a great playoff run hopefully as successful as their seasons.

Back on the Win Column The Trinity Western Spartans men’s andrew basketball team PATTERSON managed to get back into the win column as they defeated the Brandon Bobcats on Friday and the Regina Cougars on Saturday. The wins put the Spartans back to .500, which puts them in the fourth

their playoff hopes alive. It was an exciting fourth quarter at the Langley Events Centre on Friday night as both teams exchanged points back and forth, but it was the Spartans with the last laugh as they took the win 86-80. It was a big night for Toronto native Justin Bakuteka, as he led his team with 15 points

along with two from behind the arch. Bakuteka was a workhorse for the Spartans, logging 30 minutes in the game. California native Kelvin Smith put up similar number for the Spartans, with 14 points, two from long range, in 32 minutes of play. The duo stepped it up for the Spartans, as the Bobcats began clawing their way back in the third quarter. Thankfully for the Spartans, they were able to slow Brandon down for the win, capturing a momentum-building win. On Saturday night, the Spartans showed the Cougars who’s boss, winning it 67-59. Denny McDonald had a good night with 20 points and 7 boards for his team in a monstrous 37 minutes of play, including an alley-oop from point guard Robert

Rodriguez. The Spartans were able to rally in the fourth quarter with 22 points to take the late lead and end it before the Cougars had a chance to come back. “It was probably our worst shooting night of the year, but we got to the free throw line quite a bit and we had some great rebounding efforts from a couple of the guys, especially Robert,” said Spartans coach Scott Allen. “It was nice to see that he led the day. We gutted out the win and I’m really a weekend.” The weekend leaves the Spartans in a good position to try for a playoff spot. The Spartans get back on the road next weekend to take on Calgary and Mount Royal.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s day? “My tralala” - Anonymous

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February 5, 2014

HUMOUR.

AMY DAUER amy.dauer@mytwu.ca

you’re allowed to laugh at this page.

Romance Novels I with Amy Could Have Written Dauer E A T I N G

Bypassing and Supressing: An expert’s guide to break-ups

The perfect help for all you health nuts out there!

W h a t ever.

F E E L I N G S

A fourth-year’s guide to life

Hey, singles, Look, I get it. I, too, am sinamy gle on ValenDAUER tine’s Day. I, too, am not currently putting in daily

that awful cry for attention called “Singles Awareness Day.” Seriously, it’s more annoying than the double log-in on the Student Portal. You might as well stand in the middle of the caf and yell, “Everyone look at me! Be aware that I think dating will make me happy even though I am exceedingly young and any romantic connection I make in these four years will most likely end!” I cannot tell you the amount of faces I want to punch every time I extend love to a friend on Valentine’s Day, only to be recoiled with a snide, “uh, don’t you mean

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RatioIt’s Not Your Fault!

Enough of This Singles Awareness Crap

compromises with another human. I, too, am not accountable to someone else when it comes to indulging in my every travelling whim. You and I, singles, are only stuck with endless possibilities. Yeah, poor us. But you know what doesn’t get

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3:1

How To Not Kiss Run To g ryin id T K A Like We ari ng AB ac kpa ck

Yet another fouth-year’s guide to life

2. Close your eyes and relive that horrible thing you did that one time 3. Sit alone and listen to “Goodbye My Lover” by James Blunt, “Like A Song” by Lenka, and “Almost Lover” by A Fine Frenzy. 4. Facebook stalk someone who no longer thinks of you. 5. Go up to the nearest Hottie McBody, cling to his/her legs, and belt Adele lyrics. Just like Single Awareness Day, something you should spend time on. I mean, today could be your last, I’m sure it’s what God wants you to focus on, because last time I checked, the Bible uses ‘love’ for a wide variety of your fellow human companions. As for me, I’m holding out for my Justin Timberlake/Ben Gibbard hybrid.

never got the memo that I can only be happy once I’m ‘in love’—and no blaming Disney. Hallmark tackiness aside, it’s a good day to remember to appreciate the ones you love. In conclusion, we don’t want to hear any of that Single Awareness crap, so this year if you insist on feeling sad on Valentines Day, I’ve come up with a list of more creative options: 1. Remember your middle school experience.

NANCY TIMMERMANS

MIKAELA FUQUA

Hunted by Love or Other Things Hormones lap and crash like waves amongst bryce the sea of PERRY eleven and twelve-year-olds packed into the dark community centre gymnasium. It is

ended and meticulously straight hair of the plastic curtain, which quarantined us into a claustrophobic corner. Nelly is pounding into our ears, telling us pre-teens to take off all our clothes. “Mom must never know,” I thought to myself as I walked into

in that awkward situation, so what

stand next to them and hope other people thought the three of us are it out. Nothing is more attractive to a girl than a guy who looks really, really lonely. They love that stuff. It was genius; it had to work. Planting my butt on the bench on the outskirts of the prepubescent sauna, I waited. It only one girl, but an entourage of potential consolers my way. The leader of the pack came up to me with boldness I could never muster and asked

Luckily for my mom, she raised a close contact with girls, let alone putting my sweaty hands on their waist and praying to God my hormones wouldn’t trick my body into thinking it was my wedding night. Well, there

bullet shot from a gun aimed down wind in a high speed wind tunnel directed towards the centre of the earth could not have fallen faster than the blood that drained from my head. As my heart was beginning to beat again an inquisitive head poked out from

behind the girl asking the question. Emerging from the entourage, there she stood. She wore her hair combed tightly back in a ponytail, exposing her silver hoop earrings, which she could have pulled over her head and used as hula hoops. Dressed in a white tube top and pink mini skirt, she stood waiting for my response. I didn’t have to think very long, as I responded with squeaky, mouse-like “No, sorry” and retreated into the shelter of convulsing bodies. Thank God there was a circle of uncoupled friends in the crowd. I had to share my shame. But as I was explaining my lack of chivalry, she emerged from the crowd like a tiger springing out of tall grass. “Why voice sliced through the sexual sound waves. I did my best to stay polite, but I couldn’t help but raise my voice a bit

over the speakers. Hopefully now she would show me mercy and leave me to wallow in fake loneliness. I moved for the exit, weaving in and out of towering girls and lethally gelled spiked hair. The light of the hallway was in sight. Perhaps she would not look for me outside the gym. It was nearly in touch, freedom from this persistent damsel causing me stress. Suddenly, there was no forward momentum. I was walking towards the exit, but I wasn’t moving, as if a treadmill spontaneously appeared where I was stepping. Then there was no gravity. My feet lifted off the ground, but no one else was ized, when my intestines were being squeezed, what was happening. Here I was, the tigress had lunged for the kill. “YOU’RE GOING TO DANCE WITH ME WHETHER YOU WANT TO OR NOT!” “NOOOO!” Instinct violently

kicked in. Like a skinny gazelle, I cried as the tigress turned around, to be devoured. But I was not a gazelle who would simply lay down to be eaten. In desperation, I spastiwas nearly there, the tigress’ den of seduction! I couldn’t, I wouldn’t go! Squirming and yearning for freedom I kicked wherever my feet could go. I didn’t care if her shins got in the way. Nearly at the entrance of her den, I broke free and bounded away like a bouncing bullet for the exit. There was only one place to go, only one place where she couldn’t get me. I ran into the light without hesitation, sprinting past blurs of boys and girls. I turned the corner where my salvation awaited. I burst through the door with the little white man on it. I would spend the rest of the dance safe in the boy’s bathroom.

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “Christian mingle subscription from your mom” - Casie Grano

February 5, 2014

DE-CLASSIFIEDS.

marshillonline.com/de-classified

Mars’ Hill editors reserve the right to edit or reject submissions based on content and/or length. A printed submission does not necessarily reflect an endorsement of any kind, nor does it necessarily reflect the opinions of Mars’ Hill staff, the Student Association, or that of the University. In fact, probably not. When your love life takes over the Next time you are in Freedom Hall rest of your life #whatlovelife? #sosin- for a play or 11:07, notice how Cody gleithurts laughs. It’s a show on its own... Too busy bein’ fly to get yo hunnie a This girl said she recognized me from Valentine? Hit up tha art studio for the vegetarian club but I’d never met some supa profesh v-day cards. herbivore. <3 Senior Studio Rosenfeld brothers are up for a douWANTED: Girlfriend for Valentine’s. ble date, any sisters out there? How to tell if someone is the one I feel bad for ‘Norma’. So many graduOops this isn’t google ating students are gonna end their If a man follows you to church, he’s relationships with her in a few months definitely the one. with no ring by spring. She texted me, “Your adorable.” Shut him down again why don’t you? I replied, “No, YOU’RE adorable.” #givehimachance #twuprobs Now she likes me... All I did was point Not gonna lie, pre"y jelly of Emily out her typo. Herbison #newgenerations #somuchooOOoOooOOOoooOooOOo kissing I love you! Evie & Caleb #heatingup Graeme and Braden sexiest siblings since Mary-Kate and Ashley Singleness seems to be quite the phenomenon on this campus. Salad Trish and the super nice lady Sincerely, A Concerned Professor at the checkout in the caf make life

THE HIMNAL

This one time I sat with a girl in the cafe. It was nice. Colton Martin, Can we go on a dorm date? Without the dorms?

Is it just me or does it smell like the With all these comments about dating guys in 8/9 are peeing on the carpet? in the declassifieds, I wonder if TWU Brandon Bate, you’re so beautiful, you students ever think about anything else? #tiredofit could be a part-time model.

Sometimes I cover myself in vaseline To the girl watching me change while and pretend I’m a slug she eats her cereal, it’s not a one way Notice to all: window. I can see you too, so don’t be Do not cross the green pastures you so surprised when I wave at you once held so dear. Satan’s spawn Why isn’t Carolyn Bazin dating? have returned for their yearly mating #sweetest ritual. Proceed with fear and caution.

The awkward moment when you realize the speaker stopped praying, and slowly and awkwardly you open your eyes and unbow your head. #amen bisous mon amour

To the blonde girl who always sits You have been warned. in the front le! desk of my Genesis So. I hear the nursing program is great class...the backa yo head is ridiculusss place to find single ladies…#Mursetime Sometimes I wonder why my DeNick Reid showing some true class in Classifieds never get printed. Then I the dodgeball match! remember, I actually have something worthwhile to say. Jesse Z., your pasty legs at Dodgeball I’ve come across many wild animals caught my eyes and heart.

How do you know if she is the one? She’s the one if you choose to love her for the rest of your life. How to write a declassified: Step one: think of a common issue on campus. Step two: word said issue in an amusing and thought-provoking manner. If all else fails, just call someone hot

Dear Sodexo, in my life, but none so fierce as Peter Nothing says “single” like rainy days at Four different kinds of potatoes in one Durovich’s wavy hair. Walk in pairs, la- Trinity and couples huddled undermeal is not okay. dies... neath shared umbrellas #foreveralone Sincerely, students with scurvy

Walter Brynjolfson age: 22

year: 4

height: 5’ 9”

major: Recovering from a bba...now doing a Philosophy minor MICHELLE KARST

Age limit (max/min)? I’m not sure what this question means, so if it refers to the max difference in age between me and potential datee, then probably Best pick-up line? Hometown: Langley Top quality in a future mate? 8 years.

Denomination: Fellowship Baptist Favourite man in the Bible?

Good age to get married? 22

Fave Christian(non-worship)song?

How would you make up after your first fight?

Idea of a perfect date? Hopping on a

How long before you propose?

Skill that makes you “the one”? How would you win her parents over? Love language?

Age limit max/min

What’s the worst thing you could give for Valentine’s Day? “Web-comic recommendations” -Hanna Waswa