Bishop » Susan

It is easy to recognize and remember her. Why I need a psychiatrist, I don’t know. But at least for the moment, she is mine.

Apparently most patients will have to find a different doctor when they leave the hospital, but I am pretty sure I want to keep her if I must have a psychiatrist at all. For one, she is nice enough to read my book. Given it was a memoir, that saved me a lot of time explaining certain things about my past. Ultimately that past did not matter, but a veneer of a person in physical recovery needed to be developed.

We spend a number of hours talking about liver and kidney failure, addictive personalities, suicide, side effects of post-transplant drugs, restrictions post-transplant, and the physical & mental impacts of having liver and kidney transplant surgery. The core questions that matter to her and the Committee of Gods are: (a) will I obey the presurgery & post-surgery behavioral rules; and (b) will I make sure others know if anything is amiss with me mentally or physically. If I do those things, I will get on the transplant list.

A month or so later, I am on the transplant list. And find out that list is irrelevant to me.

BISHOP » SUSAN

May

“Hi! It’s Mark right?” I say after his catheters are hooked. He is in to the chair right next to me. We aren’t intimately close to each other, but we can talk if we make eye contact. Dialysis restricts your body if you have a chest catheter, and locks down one of your arms if you have a fistula (or graft), but you can definitely rotate your torso and head if you are careful. My fistula is on my right arm so I have a machine to my right — that isn’t required or guaranteed, but it is preferred by

everyone so it is common. The tube runs are shorter, so they are less likely to get pinched or pulled.

Mark has a chest catheter, so he can actually move more easily than I can. His machine happens to be to his left, so there is nothing between us. I turn slightly towards him with my body and head.

“Yes, and you are?”

“I am Susan. I believe Dr. A. may have mentioned me.”

“Yes, you have been here for a while? A few months?”

“I have been here for more than a year. I am originally from Bishop, but went to Amasa when I started retaining a lot of water: more than 14 liters.”

“That is a lot of weight.”

“Yes, I could barely move… anyway… I went to Amasa and after the transition they wanted me to help grow the clinics in the Bay Area… so here I am. We moved the family from Bishop to Oakland, but my husband is working like a dog. The housing costs are insane, even in Oakland, and we have two girls in school.”

“Yes, the housing prices are insane. The weather and opportunities are too good. Would be nice if Google and Facebook expanded significantly somewhere else”

“Facebook owns all the land around this clinic. I don’t think they are moving anywhere else. Not sure if any patients are from Facebook: I have not met any yet.”