350 Acres

350 ACRES

Three black Escalades — pulled up a respectful distance from our doors. A woman in a bright yellow outfit with white flowers was let out from the shotgun position of the rear vehicle. Dr. A did not like being driven around, and certainly would not accept being unable to easily see the territory.

“Mark? Could you come out?”

After some Freightliner shuffling, I joined Dr. A in front of the lead vehicle.

“How are you doing doctor? Did you have a good July 4th weekend?”

“It was very nice. I went down to Monterey and they had fireworks over the bay. It is beautiful down there overlooking the highlands”

“Yes. I love it down there. You know I proposed to my wife overlooking the highlands?”

“Yes, I read your memoirs… remember?”

“Actually, I just always assumed you were psychic” I say with a big smile.

“Apparently not… not even a good predictor”

“I doubt you can honestly say that. I think you knew this would happen. In some ways, I think you want this to happen.”

“What do you want Mark?”

“I want what is inevitable: but to solve this problem in a way that does not destroy people’s lives”

“Which problem?”

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“I want to house all the homeless in the Bay Area. And then the rest of the country. More specifically, I want 350 acres of land allocated to housing the homeless throughout the Bay Area, and for that land to be developed to the point of enabling housing and to be located in a way to provide support and community to those people. ”

“OK. That is a very specific demand. And in exchange you will ‘go back to work’?”

“Yes. We may always keep the ‘cave dialysis’ running, but we will make sure to do enough hours with the clinics to support the current dialysis-patient-per-vampire load”

“What do you think the cost of this 350 acres is?”

“About $10B. Maybe double that including the development and depending on the location. ”

“You are asking for a $10B hiring bonus to go back to work? I believe people will consider that a bit too generous, even in Silicon Valley.”

“It depends on how many vampires that bonus is divided among, and how much each of us is worth.”

“Even if you are each worth $1M, that requires ten thousand vampires to be worth $10B. “

“Yes, or about hundred thousand patients. How many dialysis patients are there in California?”

“You are kidding right?”

“You know me pretty well, I think you know the answer to that. Talk to the pay grades above us, and let me know. I believe you have seven days, although it may be a bit less than that. The wheels of the bus go round-and-round.

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It was great seeing you, as always doctor. Take care.”

I turn and the Freightliners start shuffling again. Dr. A is still standing there when the inner doors close.

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