Hemodialysis

“Phones hate me. I will be here, in case you are available. Otherwise I will get some waffles for breakfast.”

“Have a safe drive back. Nice seeing you”

The ‘wall’ is still up — and I estimate it will take three hours to get back to Palo Alto or anywhere on the peninsula. So I do go get some toasty waffles. Sacramento has a lot of waffle shops, which may be due to the nearby snow. Somehow waffles help you brave the cold.

I get the usual: pork belly and eggs on a savory waffle… praise the lard! I have not had to worry about what I eat for ten months now. There are some benefits. Actually, there are a lot of benefits, but there are a lot of losses too.

I can’t move much — I think this is because I am weak since I don’t see any straps, but I am not sure. I try to look at the whirring machines around me, but they are mostly behind my head. And there is something attached to my neck that feels strange when I turn my head. But I can turn enough to look out the window.

The day seems beautiful, but that is common in the South Bay of San Francisco. The Santa Cruz mountains prevent fog from rolling onto us, and the Pacific peacefully sends a few pleasant clouds over our heads. The 70s is a common temperature this time of year. Wait… what time of year is this? It seems like it is near ‘the birthdays’: my wife and I have birthdays in April. So is today April something?

Hah! Maybe it is April first!

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This is a very elaborate prank on me.

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MENLO PARK — SUSAN

They are going to send me to Trinity — “Please train the new guy… ” and then we will send you to Trinity. Dr. A didn’t say ‘Trinity’ when she spoke to me, but they send me wherever they need more dialysis. And I bet it is up in Trinity or somewhere in ‘True Northern’ California. I don’t want to go to Trinity. This gig is good: Menlo Park is pretty easy to get to, and I can live in Oakland and commute over the bridge. I like Oakland. Actually, I love Oakland. Maybe they will send me to Oakland?

No, they will send me back to Bishop. Or to Oroville so I can play with the dam. Or to Palm Desert so I can play with the tortoises. Or to Trinity so I can play with the trees. That will be the pitch “Trinity is so beautiful with all the trees”. A thousand trees are beautiful… nothing but trees is Hansel-and-Gretel not beautiful. “But the committee would really appreciate it”. I am nothing but an enslaved employee… I am not even an employee given I can’t change employers. So just a slave? I definitely did not think of this when they explained the transition to me.

‘Mark’ should show up any minute now — It is almost 2:00, so he needs to learn to get here earlier. But we have plenty of time: four hours a day, three days a week, until he can do it alone. And let me go to Trinity. Maybe I should make this training take a really long time?

“Hi! It’s Mark right?” — I say after he is wired in to the chair next to me. We aren’t intimately close to each other, but we can talk if we look at other. Dialysis restricts your body if you have a chest catheter, and locks down one of your arms if you have a fistula (or

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graft), but you can definitely rotate your torso and head if you are careful. My fistula is on my right arm [[TODO]]

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