MAYBE I'M AMAZED: The Slightly Fictional Production Brief

In an alternate universe, the act you’ve known for all these years remained together for a few extra months...

And so...

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THE BEATLES’ ‘MAYBE I’M AMAZED’ AN INSIDER’S STORY

By December 12th 1969, the recording of The Beatles’ final album, Au Revoir, was advancing towards completion. “The boys” had already tracked eight songs including ‘Isn’t It A Pity’, ‘Love’, ‘The Back Seat Of My Car’ and ‘Gimme Some Truth’ when Paul McCartney arrived at Trident Studios in deepest Soho that morning with a new song. “It’s called ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’… I wrote it for Linda,” he said to a smiling George Martin, before playing it for him on the resident piano.

“I think this needs a big ending,” suggested Mr Martin, “rather like we did on the last LP.” “I wasn’t thinking of that meself,” Paul replied, “although I fancy the idea of having a huge brass band taking the second solo… the biggest brass band you can fit in here. Could you write an arrangement?” The following day would witness the Salvation Army’s local Regent Hall Band gathered to perform Mr Martin’s score, which had echoes of his Radio 1 theme from two years earlier.

One by one, the remaining Fabs, Neil Aspinall, Mal Evans and their friend Billy Preston wandered into the studio. “Hare Krishna,” greeted the long bearded guru himself, George Harrison, picking up and strumming an acoustic guitar while reading the morning papers. Ringo appeared bored. Inseparable as always, Johnandyoko sat near the piano and listened as Paul gave instructions to the producer over a sheet of manuscript paper.

“Is this a new one, Fab Paulie?”

John enquired. “Yes, John. In fact, I have an idea. You know how we divided the verse and chorus lead vocals between the two of us on things like ‘We Can Work It Out’? It’d be great to do it on this one. You do the verses and I’ll do the choruses.”

John looked at Yoko. “Do I really want to sing one of McCartney’s ‘Let It Be’ rehashes?” he whispered.

John looked at Yoko. “Do I really want to sing one of McCartney’s ‘Let It Be’ rehashes?” he whispered.

Yoko let out an almost inaudible squeak. “Oh right, OK. Maybe I’ll give it a go.”

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Yoko let out an almost inaudible squeak.

“Oh right, OK. Maybe I’ll give it a go.”

Ringo still looked bored. He was on a come down after all the plaudits he had received the previous evening at the London premiere of ‘The Magic Christian’. The last thing he felt like doing today was waiting in a studio for the boys to get their act together.

“Hey Ritchie, they’re talking about you in the paper,” said Hari George. “Apparently, you and Peter Sellers are the new Abbott & Costello!” “Hmm, that’s nice…

I think,” the drummer-turned-thespian replied, grumpily.

ON THE SLIDE Four hours later, after several runthroughs, a backing track of piano, guitar, drums and Billy’s profoundly ethereal organ for ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ was complete. Paul added bass, then lead guitar (“because I already have the part in me head”) and asked George to contribute a few sweeping guitar licks across the track.

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George asked Mal to hand him Rocky, his ‘psychedelic’ Strat, and fished out a glass bottleneck from his waistcoat pocket. “What’re you doing with that, George?” asked Paul. “What d’ya mean?” “The bottleneck… you’re not gonna go all ‘Hawaii Five-O’ on us are you?” The guitarist, who had recently been inspired by guesting on a short UK tour by his new slide playing friend Delaney Bramlett and his vocalist wife Bonnie, shot a furrowed brow gaze in McCartney’s direction. “Well, I’ll do what I’ll do and if you don’t like it, just wipe it and I’ll take an early bath.”

Paul sighed. He knew he couldn’t upset his ‘brother’ if the album was to continue smoothly, so he had to hope for the best. Of course, the boy from Speke did well as he showcased the melodic bottleneck style that would soon give George a new identity as a musician.

Holding Yoko’s hand for security, John stepped up to the microphone for the first pass at his lead vocal. “Put some rock’n’roll delay in me cans, Lord Mar-

tin,” Lennon impatiently ordered. His voice in the first verse carried a slight tone of disinterest… or was he just stoned?

John checked out Paul’s lyric sheet and saw the word ‘livelier’ next to the second verse. “I’ll f**king show ‘im for asking me to do this,” he thought, before unleashing his angst down the Neumann U87. He looked up and saw Paul grinning from ear to ear.

“Bloody ’ell,” laughed John, as he listened to a playback. “This is alright, Macca. I like it. A lot.” Paul smiled. “Really? Oh, cheers mate. Are you saying that maybe, just maybe… YOU’RE amazed?”

The rest is mystery. Kind of.

TO THE CORE Au Revoir was to be issued worldwide

by Apple Records on Friday 13th February 1970 bearing the new-style catalogue number BEATLP1. Plans would also include the simultaneous release of ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’ and ‘Love’ as a double A single.

an apple that had been gifted to Paul McCartney, the one that gave The Beatles’ company its name. (The words ‘Au revoir’ appeared across Magritte’s Granny Smith.) But John wasn’t keen on the title. In fact, he wasn’t having any of it.

He and Yoko had delayed a trip to Denmark so that they could be present at a business meeting at Apple’s Savile Row offices on January 2nd to discuss the marketing strategy behind the release.

Everyone from the A-team was present.

After consulting Yoko, John voiced his opinion that the album should follow in the tradition of its predecessor, Abbey Road. “I think you’re all daft with this Au Revoir thing... it’s not like we’re f**kin’ French!” he concluded. “We’ve been recording at Trident, and Trident is based at St Anne’s Court, right? Well, there’s yer title: St Anne’s Court.” Lennon was deadly serious.

In fact, he may even have had his way were it not for a boardroom full of

The typesetting for the labels was finalised and the full sleeve package was designed by John Kosh, featuring photography by Ethan Russell, taken in the grounds of Lennon’s Ascot home. Once the lacquers were cut, everything would be ready.

The album title, suggested by George Harrison, was inspired by the René Magritte painting of 5

screwed-up faces and a grounding comment by Derek Taylor. “I say, John,” said Apple’s PR supremo. “Do you always have to be such an insufferable prick?”

For Lennon, it was the straw that broke the donkey’s ankles. “That’s it. You can stuff the f**kin’ album, you bunch of f**kin’ f**kers! I’ll make sure it never sees the light of day... er... won’t we, Yoko?!”

Johnandyoko fled Savile Row, leaving their colleagues frozen in disbelief. They were shocked. And stunned. Meanwhile, the couple sought refuge nearby in a small Indian restaurant in Vigo Street.

“What are you having, Mother? asked John. “I-I-I think I’ll have the korma,” squeaked Yoko, instantaneously and, as it would later emerge, inspirationally.

FAST-FORWARD (EVENTUALLY) TO 2019 Sadly, fans across the globe were to be deprived of what may possibly have been The Beatles’ finest hour on record.

Fifty-two minutes and 22 seconds, to be precise.

Immediately after the fateful meeting, the album’s multitracks and production master somehow ended up in Ringo’s possession.

Tragically, the tapes were mistakenly destroyed by the intoxicated drummer one evening at a family bonfire gathering. He admitted later that he believed he was getas featured on

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ting rid of yet another set of unsolicited Tiny Tim recordings.

Ringo’s first wife Maureen wrote in her diary: “One minute he was joking around with a hot dog in one hand and a pint of Blue Nun in the other, then suddenly I heard him scream, ‘Oh shit’.

I looked around and he had his head in his hands, sobbing like a baby.”

All that remained were the memories of those who attended Trident Studios during the creation of a masterpiece.

Nearly 50 years later, as this previously unwritten piece of history was finally revealed, two musicians in the English coastal wilds of south-east Essex listened closely to the recollections of those who were present at the original winter 1969 sessions and, at the invitation of Richard Buskin, the co-presenter of the compelling American podcast series, ‘Swinging Through The Sixties’, they have fashioned a new recording of Paul McCartney’s ‘Maybe I’m Amazed’, channeling the spirit of the soon-to-beunfabbed Fabs.

Ladies and gentlemen, please raise a cup of your fancy to your favourite father and daughter tea dance orchestra, Mark & Rosalie Cunningham.

Written by Frederick J. Pipsqueak, C.B.E. All Rights Reserved © 2019 SqueakyWurdz