Marian's Fall 2022 Burn Literary Arts Magazine

burn

Marian Literary Arts Magazine

[v.13] [i.1]

table of contents [painting by scarlett wharton’24]

2-3

4-5

6-7

8-9

10-11

12-13

14-15

16-17

18-19

20-21

22-23

24-25

Marian presents Burn, a literary arts magazine that strives to showcase the original art, photography and creative writing of our student body. Burn is published in print twice a year and online at https://burnmagazineonline.wordpress.com. We accept submissions from all grade levels.

Our submissions are judged anonymously, and those that are selected are subject to minor grammatical corrections. Burn is a forum for creative student expression. Our goal is to give students a place to publish their work and a place to have their peers appreciate their work. Burn is printed by Regal Publishing Company in Omaha, Neb. For the 2022-2023 school year, there will be 800 copies printed per semester. All titles of pieces and page numbers are set in Hiragino Sans W8 font. The writing is set in Avenir Light. The softwares used were part of the Adobe Creative Cloud suite. Our adviser is journalism adviser, Mrs. Marsha Kalkowski. For inquiries, contact us at 402-571.2618 ext 1134, at burn@omahamarian. org or write to us: 7400 Military Ave, Omaha, NE 68134.

Front cover: Isolation by Christal Lare ‘24 1: Fluorescence by Scarlett Wharton ‘24 2 & 3: when life gives you lemons and “A Sea of Senses” by Laura Torres-Salvador ‘24, Lemon Meringue Pie by Madison Terranova ‘24, “the little things” by Kenadie Rudloff ‘24, “Forever Meant 5 Years” by Hayden Blaney ‘26 4 & 5: Hispanic’ Heritage Month by Crystal Gonzalez ‘24, girl world by Eva Kriener ‘24, You and Me by Grace Comstock ‘24, “Under the Same Sky” by Meredith Britson ‘24, “Thinking of you” by Mia Ramirez ‘26, “I haven’t always dreamt in color” by Sofia Torres-Salvador ‘24 6 & 7: Playful Curiosity by Sofia Torres-Salvador ‘24, Sunset Storm by Margaret Morris ‘23, “you kept your chin up and your mind busy” by Brianna Sedlak ‘24, “she’s not gone” by Shelby Woodard ‘25.

8 & 9: Some people believe that only people can tell a story, but I think an object tells the best by Greta Justice ‘25, The Edge of the Earth by Elizabeth Foreman ‘23, Goldfish by Clara Hawkins ‘25, “Blur” by Rowan Hamm ‘25 10 & 11: Look out by Maria McLeay ‘23, Coniferous Confinement by Sophia McNally ‘26, “Triumphantly Stands the Woodchuck” by Kate Hoppe ‘23, “Butterflies and Bravery” Grace Sparwasser ‘24 12 & 13: Fiore Rosso and Vicolo Primaverile by Eden Smith ‘24, “Wonder” by Brynn Ullerich ‘23, “daydream” by Madeleine Smith ‘24 14 & 15: At First Glance by Scarlett Wharton ‘24, My Mind elsewhere and “Birthday Girl Land” by Mary Mckay ‘25, why so blue? by Yena Kelly ‘25, “Unwanted Thoughts” by Shelby Woodward ‘25, “Excuses” by Megan Schneider ‘23 16 & 17: Happy Harbor by Margaret Morris ‘23, Stars of blissfulness by Greta Justice ‘25, “The Funny Things”by Margaret McAndrews ‘24, “Invisible me” by Ellie Fogarty ‘24 18 & 19: Of a Different Time by Elizabeth Foreman ‘23, An Autumn View by Layla Weedin ‘26, Motherly Instinct by Marin Momsen ‘24, “healing” by Jasmine Carranza ’25, “Of Math and Science”

by Kate Hoppe ‘23 20 & 21: Waiting Wading by Ava Mueller ‘25, Reflection by Sophia Reinhardt ‘24, “The World’s Between Us” by Chizora Okolo ‘24, “(Text) Books” by Lily Biggs ‘24 22 & 23: It’s a Mouthful by Cecilia Urbanski ‘23, Bundle O’ Joy by Karis Simon ‘25, “Beauty Inside” by Hayden Blaney ‘26, “Your Wildflower” by Layla Wilke-Conant ‘25 24 & 25: The Beauty of Music by Elizabeth Evans ’23, Kids in America by Ellie Peter ‘24, “A Fleeting Childhood” by Erin Line ‘23, “Stardust” by Chizora Okolo ‘24, “Never Moments” by Lily Biggs ‘24 Back cover: Peddlestone Lane by Adrienne Ernst ‘26 fall 2022 burn staff editor team: Ceci Urbanski, Lizzie Evans, Elizabeth Foreman, Chizora Okolo, Eva Kriener, Kenadie Rudloff and Madison Shaffar. print team: Aya Khayati, Brynn Ullerich, Elin Siedlik, Kate Hoppe, Maggie Morris, Maria McLeay, Natalie Bullock, Sophie Ortmeier, Sophia Tripp, Brianna Sedlak, Caitlyn Dunham, Eden Smith, Lilly McAndrews, Riya Kumar, Ruthie Barrett, Scarlett Wharton, Abby McGuire, Bana Kakish, Coventry Thompson, Karis Simon, Mary McKay and Yena Kelly. digital team: Kaylene Bialas, Layla Wilke-Conant, Jasmine Carranza, Mia Ramirez, Maddie Smith, Elizabeth Buescher and Lily Biggs.

burn

01

“the little things” [poem by kenadie rudloff’24]

the evils of the world seem paralleled not by outstanding goodness, but by the small acts that make one smile

“forever meant 5 years” [poem by hayden blaney’26]

Said we’d be together, Forever.

We’d have each others’ backs, Forever.

Never leave each others’ sides, Never.

Guess it was all a lie, Whatever.

But you left me shattered, On the bathroom floor.

Like I didn’t matter, To you anymore.

I guess forever meant five years.

Was it too much to be here, For me when I needed you most, I was right there by your side.

You wouldn’t do that by your side.

You wouldn’t do that for me, Even if I kick, cry, and screamed.

I put my trust in you.

Should’ve known better than to.

Because forever meant five years.

Did I really mean so little, That you threw me out?

Crying on the floor.

Who’ll be your best friend now?

I guess I didn’t realize, I was easy to replace.

But it doesn’t matter anymore.

Five years has gone to waste.

02

fall 2022

when i think of atrocities and pain, i don’t say to myself “hey, at least there was mother teresa” no, instead i dive inside my brain and remember that one time by little brother giggled at his own joke or the time where my friend smiled at the sky or once when that butterfly landed on my finger or even when a stranger gave me a flower it’s the little things within our lives that keep us human, that give us our humanity without those moments, we would be no more than evils, no more than creatures roaming the earth underneath the vast entirely of the sky

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pie

when life gives you lemons

[digital photo by laura torres-salvador’24]

“a sea of senses” [poem by laura torres-salvador’24]

We dream of the future and what it will be, But our eyes fall behind to that which we can already see.

What we see is smoke, heat, and the rising sea, yet we stand there, hearing its plea.

“Our colors are gone, we are no longer clean.

This is your fault,” it says, But our ears don’t hear, it seems.

These senses of our simply seem to ignore What is right in front of us like never before.

The plastic and the cans that fill our shores, Surely should make us, feel something more.

Yet here we stand, doing almost nothing at all, To save the future and the dreams that once Seemed small. burn

03

[graphic illustration by eva kriener’24]

girl world

“under the same sky” [poem by meredith britson‘24]

Under the same sky.

Under the same sun, moon, and stars.

All 8 billion of us share this planet.

Yet no two of us are alike.

Different beliefs and personalities.

Different bodies and faces.

Different emotions and actions.

Different hobbies and passions.

Different people.

8 billion people.

8 billion different people.

Under the same sky.

“thinking of you”

[poem by mia ramirez‘24]

hispanic heritage month [digital drawing by crystal gonzalez’24]

04

fall 2022

Kept your love like a locket around my neck I wear it everyday and say the words you never said I carry your spirit high And try to hear your song I know you’re far away But I still feel you holding on We’re all hurting Missing someone who has left But I never even got the chance to say Merry Christmas It makes sense now that I needed you by my side Holding me so close ‘Till my tears ran dry It’s been a few holidays since the last time I laid by your head But every night I’ll look at your photo And think to myself it’s only a little while Until I get to see you again

you and me [digital art by grace comstock’24]

“i haven’t always dreamt in color”

[poem by sofia torres-salvador‘24]

“It’s lovely to meet you, little friend” How curious is your mind For from it grows the most unlikely curiosities And yet, with serenity your thoughts are lined Deal! Let’s play make-believe What is so fascinating about the crumbs on the ground?

I guess I’ll take a chance with you, little bird, jump on my sleeve Perhaps you could teach me how to fly instead You see...I haven’t always dreamt in color Like an old photograph, yellow with time and bent at the corners I wish for you to show me how again I wish for the freedom of a child I wish for strangeness to be extraordinary again And to see the world as if for the first time in the summer

Show me the clouds!

And how the morning gold waltzes and catches their shadows Show me the blue tune of the accordion in the plaza Or the pink laughter of the children that chase you and the sound of a piano Remind me of what it is to dream in color For I wish to never dream in grey again burn

05

“you kept your chin up and your mind busy” [poem by brianna sedlak’24]

holding that hook and having the yarn slip through your fingers, and you don’t realize that the time flies maybe that’s why you crocheted to keep your mind busy to not have to remember your life changing diagnosis maybe that’s why you made three hats a day to keep your mind off of heaven to not have to think about when your last breath will be maybe that’s why you acted like nothing was wrong. like you weren’t in pain so you could hold it together for us for me you crocheted for your head that was balding you crocheted because that was the only thing that you had power over. your limbs deteriorating, slowly getting more challenging to walk, breathe, sleep…. talk.

06

you crocheted to not have to think about leaving your family you crocheted so your chemo would run smoother you crocheted so you wouldn’t have to worry about how you were going to get to the bathroom or how you would get dressed for bed you never complained, you only smiled, kept your chin up, and moved your hook so quickly, in and out of the loops that you powerfully created as if you were anxious and had something to tell me as your mind moved 100 miles a minute oh, to only imagine what you could have been thinking. to have leave your family unwillingly, to have to face death, what it would be like to see your passed family. fear is the only emotion i would have gone through. but you acted like a soldier on his best day when your condition was like a frail bird on his worst day my bestest friend: my dearest grandma, i know the main reason you crocheted was to not have to think about how you would eventually be leaving me.

sunset storm fall 2022

[digital photo by maggie morris’23]

“she’s not gone” [poem by shelby woodard’25]

she’s not gone. she’s in the wind that blows your hair, in every morning sunrise, and every quiet gust of air. you can find her in the flowers that bloom as springtime comes around. and even in the soft snowfall that lays atop the ground. because although she’s not here, she never really left. keep her in your heart and mind, knowing it was you who she blessed.

playful curiosity [digital photo by sofia torres-salvador’24]

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07

[digital collage by greta justice’25]

some people believe that only people can tell a story...

goldfish

[watercolor by clara hawkins’25]

08

fall 2022

“blur”

[poem by rowan hamm’25]

[digital photo by elizabeth foreman’23]

the edge of the earth

You’d think I would’ve had enough of you.

We shared a room.

And a bathroom.

And a closet.

Once I realized how much I loved the chaos and the mess, You were gone.

You now share that chaos and that mess with someone else.

The spaces we used to share now only show traces of the person who once inhabited them.

Instead of being there to watch every little moment, I watch them in the blurry pictures posted to instagram.

When I get close enough, I feel like I’m there, until the pixels of my phone start to show the individual blue, green, and red.

The CDs that used to play on repeat now get dusty on the shelves.

The Barbies that were always in use now rot in a bucket in the attic.

I wish I could’ve held onto the chaos a little longer.

burn

09

y ies, terfl B ut

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Th e

wa

is very Bra

d

[poem by grace sparwasser’24]

out.

“butterflies & bravery”

Bre ath

rig e. g ht sta be fore the

in a n

free m e g th settin

g light n i nd Bli

s.

. Butter flie s

o esc a p tt e.

coniferous confinement [digital photo by sophia mcnally‘26]

10

fall 2022

“triumphantly stands the woodchuck” [poem by kate hoppe‘23]

How much wood would the woodchuck chuck To chuck the building from its home How many streets would the woodchuck cross To find the habitat it had known How phenomenal the woodchuck In glory all its days How wondrous, the woodchuck As upon it I do gaze

I see so many more woodchucks Than I ever had before And for every woodchuck I can see I know there must be more Triumphantly stands the woodchuck On 108th and Maple’s hill The woodchuck stands triumphant Because the woodchuck stands there still

The woodchuck’s heroic determination Leaves it undeterred Without thought or hesitation It stakes claim upon the earth

look out

[digital photo by maria mcleay‘23]

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11

vicolo primaverile [watercolor by eden smith’24]

“daydream” [poem by maddie smith’24]

I wish to lay where the grass is green.

Where the ripples respond, where I feel seen.

Someday soon I’ll escape my current in-between, grey burning into aquamarine.

I’m not young anymore, but I’m quite far from old (Sun burnt from candles, air-conditioner cold).

I’m afraid of the dark, only because of what hides within-unless, of course, I have someone to hide there with.

12

I cover my room in fake greenery to mimic places I long to be-crystallized forests, stolen seas-anywhere else where I’m not her (and she isn’t me). fall 2022

fiore rosso [watercolor by eden smith’24]

“wonder” [poem by brynn ullerich’23]

i wonder what it’s like to be you. from you being to one of my closest friends, the one that i told all of my problems to, to you being a mere stranger now. i wonder if you think about me, and what i’m doing, who i’m talking to, and what drama came up this week. but maybe you regret us and you can’t even remember the way i smelled, or the way i played with your hands. the way i remember your eyes on me and the way you always moved my hair when it was in my face. i wonder if you look at 11pm the same way i do, missing the calls every night just to hear a quiet goodnight. i wonder if that pink bracelet reminded you too much of me and that’s why a yellow one took its place. something so unimportant, yet it was so sentimental. i wonder if you look at that park and think about how i stayed out so you wouldn’t be cold. how we looked at the stars, or how you held me so tight. i would take anything to ask you, just a few more questions, to send one more text. but i won’t, and i will always forever wonder. burn

13

“excuses”

[poem by megan schneider’23]

My whole life I’ve favored winter over summer The biting chill over long sticky days However, in winter I bundle up And hide I blend into the white and blue

Mirroring winter’s desolate landscape And I wonder If I could ever love summer’s warmth and joy As much as I love the excuses winter lends me

why so blue? [watercolor by yena kelly’25]

A happy day.

A happy thought.

A happy memory.

A happy smile.

A happy girl.

A happy picture of her blowing out candles.

A happy gift.

But is she happy on her birthday?

Her Instagram post says so, Her mom and dad and friends say so.

But does she?

14

14

fall 2022

Do her tears say so?

Do her thoughts say so?

A happy day.

A happy thought.

A happy memory.

A happy smile.

A happy girl.

A happy picture of her blowing out candles.

A happy gift.

A perfect girl with a perfect life. [poem by mary mckay’25] A perfect post A happy girl,

Until she wasn’t.

Until she’s gone,

She was a happy girl.

No, they said she was a happy girl.

“birthday girl land”

at first glance

[mixed media by scarlett wharton‘24]

I try not to think of it now, when I can’t fall asleep, Refusing to let the thoughts in while I distract myself by counting sheep.

But as I lay awake, alone in my room, the silence surrounds me.

I think about how you were: so fun and carefree.

The life you lived wasn’t lived in vain And I wish you had known there were other ways to end your pain.

Because while losing you was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to endure, Losing you because you chose to leave hurt even more.

[digital photo by mary mckay ‘25]

Lying awake at night, in my bed, All the unwanted thoughts creep into my head.

The memories of you and the times we shared, When you told me you’d always be here, and showed me how much you cared.

[poem by shelby woodard’25]

“unwanted thoughts”

my mind elsewhere

[ photo by mary mckay ]

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15

“invisible me”

[poem by ellie fogarty’24]

You have your reasons and I have mine But there’s not a hint of you that tries to hide

What you lack

Through your stomach and bounds and up to your mind

There’s not a single thing that resembles mine

Your essays and writings forced through a pen

Will never compensate the tears that I shed

It was my life one that I had to live

It took only a second for you to critique what I did

Now call me a fool you can publish what you know

But when your eyes meet your own maybe then you’ll truly know

The pain the aches that keep me up at night

Come from the idea of you having a restful night

Why should I be the one suffering in this silence

When all along it was you who made me quit

Paint yourself as whomever you’d like Keep that pen in your hand to calm another fight

Rest easy young boy as you claim to deserve

But in the end my story will never be yours

happy harbor [digital photograph by maggie morris’23]

16

16

fall 2022

“the funny things”

stars of blisfulness

[poem by lilly mcandrews’24]

it’s funny how you say you need to hang up your phone is going to die while mine is plugged in it’s funny how your friends laugh at me saying i’m nothing special while i praise you it’s funny how you can’t respond because she has your attention while i write poems it’s funny how it was so easy for you to just leave while my heart shattered it’s funny how you wanted me first.

17

[[mixed media artwork by greta justice’25] burn

17

“healing”

But somehow I feel guilty, Like I am in the wrong.

But I’m happier and I’m stronger Maybe this is what I needed all along.

[poem by jasmine carranza’25]

When you first left, I couldn’t cope, I shut myself away trying to hide from the pain.

I memorized the taste of tears and learned to manage heartache, I tried to ignore it and smile, but it was all in vain.

Papa, I need your advice, You were my dad, but you weren’t always there.

He stands by mom, he stands by me, I already know he cares.

One discovery contradicted the other, It seemed to drag on and on.

Each time I heard something new, I felt the pain that I thought had withdrawn.

There’s a new person in my life, Not a replacement, but a stand-in.

A new supporter, a new teacher, A new chapter that’s about to begin.

18

[digital photo by marin momsen‘24]

motherly instinct

It’s been almost six long years, But now there’s something new.

A new variable, a change, Surprisingly, it’s not about you.

I really don’t understand, What is this confusing feeling?

I can only think of two options: Am I running or am I healing?

an autumn view [digital photo by layla weedin‘26] fall 2022

of a different time [digital photo by elizabeth foreman’23]

“of math and science” [poem by kate hoppe‘23]

How long have I awaited In all these strange and unexpected places For the day when all the parallelepipeds’ faces Will be shining and bright Inside a home on a cold winter’s night When even Pythagoras has no claim And the laws of sine and cosine rule And other angles get chance of fame And ambiguous cases get their due When zero’s at last given a place That it may hold significantly Without decimals on the chase And when for once we can expectantly Have snow on a cold winter day And for once in my favor Do the covalent freezes sway

When the world is turned upside down And the odd can once again take hold And the ordinary begins to frown But the stars start to shine like gold Because light pollution has disintegrated And like a snowflake upon warm pavement It’s electronegativity exceeded And pollution’s funds for once have been depleted.

Oh what day when all the children’s faces Have learned: infinity’s not to be included And they deserve the highest places For all the harm they did not do Harm we must not ask them to bare It’s simple science, simple math We must take care And leave behind a brighter path

1919

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“the world’s between us” [poem by chizzy okolo’24]

It feels like a world’s between us bigger than ocean or sea i can’t get through to you I can’t cross the cosmos between It’s not fair because we were once close so close one would say you loved me but then something switched nothing would click you moved on without me i’m left here alone on my road the road we once trekked feet by feet along, side by side one person one mind together forever you beside me but when we hit the fork in the road the paths split two ways you went right and i went left and i never saw your smile again and maybe that’s not completely true maybe i was just frowning and my frown clouded my eyes but the way you walked the other way almost begged a cry and maybe it’s my fault there was no other way byt one day I’ll cross the world between us and soon I’ll see your smiling face

reflections

[digital photo by sophia reinhardt’24]

20

fall 2022

“(text) books” [poem by lily biggs’24]

This is a dedication to all the (text) books I’ve seen all of that pointless time that I’ve wasted Dedicating paragraphs on Snapchat to boys like you All the late nights I’ve spent reading books from my friends About how their stupid ex broke their heart again All of the times I’ve told my mother I’m reading my textbooks When I’m failing my classes to spend time on your (text) books All of the money I could’ve made if I just put down the phone And wrote something that’s actually worth my time (text) books, please let me know when you learn that more is less.

Trust me, it will save both of our time.

waiting wading [digital art by ava mueller’25]

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21

it’s a mouth full [graphite by ceci urbanski’23]

22

fall 2022

“your wildflower” [poem by layla wilke-conant’25]

le nd bu y on’25] o j sim o’ e by karis hit

ap

[gr

I say I’m fine, but am I really?

Am I too short, too fat, not pretty?

I smile, I wave, But it isn’t the same.

I fix my hair, Say I don’t care, But deep down that isn’t true.

I’m a mess of mixed emotions, I just can’t seem to please.

I try my best to be the best, But it does not come with ease.

They tell me that I am good enough, That I should never worry, But deep down I’m afraid that they just feel sorry.

When I look in the mirror, all I ever see, Is someone I don’t wanna be and that someone’s me.

Every single action puts me in a maze, Trying to find myself in ever single day.

I want to make mom happy, and my dad, too.

I want my friends to like me, Even though I’m through.

If I don’t impress them, will I feel any better.

Better to be myself through any kind of weather?

In a storm or rain, if I change, Will I finally see?

Maybe if I look harder, I’ll see the truth, That true beauty isn’t outside, But deep inside of you.

“beauty inside” [poem by hayden blaney’26]

And in that moment I realized you cared for me but you did not care for me the way I did you.

I care for you the way wood does fire.

I fueled you whenever I could, made you stronger.

I would have let it destroy me, burn me out, until I was no more.

You cared for me like dirt does flowers.

You would help hold me up when I asked.

When I dug my roots of words into you, you would stay.

But the second a bigger, better, more beautiful plant came along, You would give her all my nutrients, leaving me to wilt.

She could be your bouquet of roses.

While I am just your wildflower burn

23

“a fleeting childhood” [poem by erin line’23]

It went from climbing trees to studying inside Inside where the air is stale It went from a careless mind to one filled with fears Fears that engulf my life If only I could go back to a childhood One filled with joy So that I will not have to rely on faded memories from a distant life If only I could be a child once more

“stardust” [poem by chizzy okolo’24] pooling in my eyes stardust trickles down shimmering in the light caressing my tiny frown looking up at the stars into their warm glow the night sky smiles putting on a shining show the grass beneath my feet between my ten toes reminds me of a time me and you were so close and the thought of dreams and love and cheers trickles from my reminiscing eyes into the grass that soaks up my tears and plants dazzling lullabies

24

kids in america [digital photo by ellie peter’24] fall 2022

“never moments” [poem by lily biggs’24]

I wonder what the moments that never happened are like.

What would have happened if I tried out for that team?

What if I went to a different school?

Who would my friends be?

What if I met my future husband at that one dance I skipped?

If I had tried a little harder, could I have gotten into my dream college?

What if I saved someone’s life?

Could I have died?

Dear never moments, I’m sorry for what we could have experienced.

I don’t know if I’m happy with the decisions I’ve made, but I wish I could know what could have happened.

the beauty of music [digital photo by lizzie evans’23]

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25

Fall 2022