Being Scared Doesn't Change Anything to Find happiness”

For several years, lots of things happened to me. Someone can say it could be too hard or say it could be enjoyable. Time passes quickly, and the little girl is now 26 years old.

What is ‘happiness’?

Happiness is an illusion. We can’t see it, also can’t touch it. We spend our whole life to find the illusion that doesn’t exist. But it isn’t just an illusion forever. As we live, we can discover soft contours. If this contour can be energy that makes you live, I think it could be very successful in “Finding happiness.”

When I was a high school student, I can’t remember following what kind of happiness. But I can say one thing with confidence, and I felt delighted when I was in Freedom Writers. It made me feel alive. Not for someone. I can live for myself. When I concentrate on my work, I can forget distracting thoughts and worries. I know it is very contradicting, but I can also clear my head while using my brain. I joined the club to develop my English skills, but I grew up as a mature human.

Comparing me in the past and now, many things have changed something good or something terrible. The most significant difference is I think I lost my ebullient self. Not living to achieve dreams with passion, I live as time goes by. Now I work at a highly ordinary company. I have been struggled to be an extremely common employee.

But now, the spark of chance appeared. I can’t tell specific things now; the spark makes a fire in my heart. It’s like new cells seemed to wriggle and wake up. I had a similar dream before. I compromised with reality and gave up. Eventually, I regretted that. Also, now, I hesitate to choose, thinking the fact first. Suppose I ask myself in high school. She would say never give up. So, I throw away all my hesitation. Even if I fail, I will give it a shot. I promise myself never to repeat the same regret. My “Finding happiness” in 2022 is a “Challenge.”

We often say that we compromise with reality. But I think we are not compromising with reality, and it is living by compromise and suppressing ideas. In the past, I’m still afraid to dive into ideal. But I’m going to throw myself into the fire pit again today because just being scared doesn’t change anything to find happiness.

Ko Han-hee