14 Principles for Husbands and Wives

FOURTEEN

PRINCIPLES - for HUSBANDS & WIVES

� I MR&MRS ROACH

FOURTEEN

PRINCIPLES - for HUSBANDS & WIVES

In a marriage, men and women have a number of basic needs that must be met in order for the mechanics of the marriage to continue to function properly. How these essentials are met may vary from person to person, but the nature of these principles are the same for every husband and wife. Learning and reciprocating these principles between you and your spouse will strengthen your relationship in Love, Marriage, and Partnership.

BY: JAMES & NATASHA ROACH

PRINCIPLES 7 for LOVING Your WIFE

LISTEN TO HER. Listening to your wife allows you to really understand her, and see her inner-most thoughts. You also see her needs. Being able to listen is one of the greatest gifts that you can give to your wife. When you listen, understand that she is not asking for your advice, she is simply looking for you to be open to her feelings and thoughts.

Listening allows you to see what she is saying, how she is saying it, and most importantly, why she is saying it. se nn o c a n s c enw e e o w eis s e e kn o a c eor jsin nee ̀ o ̀ o epn er ̀ to n her own answer.

PAY ATTENTION TO HER. The more you listen to your wife, the better you will get at paying attention to her. Paying attention allows you to learn major and minor details about your wife, such as knowing her favorite things, her love language, when to do things for her, and how to read her moods. When you pay attention to your wife, you can tell when she wants to do something or have something, but denies it to accommodate you or a situation. Perhaps the greatest thing is being able to recognize who God is in your wife, the strengths and gifts that He’s placed in her. Paying attention allows you to love her the way she deserves to be loved.

APPRECIATE HER. As a husband it should be a privilege to appreciate your wife every chance you get. Appreciation shows her that all she does has value. Our wives do so much daily to make sure all our needs are met as well as running a household.

Appreciate your wife by saying thank you every chance you get. Learn how to edify her at all times letting the world know that she is your gift from the Lord. Appreciate her time, her loving, her respect, her patients, her thoughts and her value to your life. This is an action that will always keep a smile on her face.

CLEANSE HER. Cleansing your wife takes loving her mind, body and soul to a new level. As a husband we are taught to cleanse our wife by washing her with the word of God. As we listen and pay attention to her, please be aware that from a to a so m c n ea ̀ s a p p onme nsa n pa s s emn.omeme s s s ea ns omeme s suppressed. To cleanse her we must pray with and for her daily, speak positive things into her life daily, speak the word of God with her daily and patently help her to focus on the positive only each and every day. As you cater to her as the weaker vessel the stronger she will be.

BE A GENTLEMAN (CHIVALRY) WITH HER. Being a gentleman shows your wife that you’re a chivalrous, courteous and an honorable man. Doing this consistently will give your wife the assurance that you love and honor her worth. Your wife deserves to have her oors ̀ ope n e er ̀ ca p e o a n er ̀ a n e in p ca n p aeoot ̀ sa n xn epae js to name a few. Being a gentleman is one of the greatest ways to honor your wife, not only for what she does but ultimately for who she is to you. As husbands let’s show our wives and the world that chivalry is alive and well.

SET GOALS THAT STRETCH HER. Being the visionary of the home it is our job to set the bar high with everything that we do, including setting goals. The goals should include you and your wife at all times. Because we as husbands desire to see all God has in store for our wives, it is good to set all goals bigger than life. High goals are put into place so that we have to be stretched and grow to reach them. As husbands stretching our wives shows her that we believe in her.

Believing in our wives is one of the highest forms of love and appreciation.

PLACE HER AS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD. Yes, place her before parents, children, the household responsibilities, work-related duties, and all the other things that attempt to press their way in front of your wife. Establishing and maintaining this priority is one way of fostering peace, better communication, and productivity within your home and relationship.

PRINCIPLES 7 for RESPECTING Your HUSBAND

LOVE GOD AND BUILD A RELATIONSHIP WITH HIM. This must be priority over all other things. It is not possible to know God and not love Him, and it is impossible to love someone else and not love God. Establishing a loving relationship with God will properly equip you with the strength and wisdom to truly love your husband with an unconditional love- an Agape love. Furthermore, the love that you have for God allows you to accept His commands, and grow in understanding of His word. As your relationship with God grows, so will it with your husband as God shows you how to submit to your husband as unto Christ.

LOVE YOURSELF AND HAVE AN INCREASING DESIRE TO BETTER YOURSELF. The better woman that you become, his inspiration to be better is also increased. He sees you as a suitable helper, a true partner – one who completes him as opposed to competes with him. By focusing on positive change within yourself, your husband will view you as someone to be honored, instead of feeling like you’re trying to change him. Also, it may be necessary to tell him that you are working to make yourself better, so that you can be a better help to him.

BELIEVE IN AND BUILD UP THE MAN THAT HE IS TO BE. It is vital that you always keep a positive image of who your husband is to be. This takes work on your part, but it’s worth it in the end. There will be moments where it’s easy to see your husband’s weaknesses or areas you feel he needs to grow in, but trust in God to mold and change him. Continue to build him up, encourage him, speak to and treat him like the man that he is to become. Also, be careful not to compare him to anyone else. Ultimately, you want him to be his best self, who God designed him to be – which is more than what you may desire him to be within a moment.

LET YOUR THOUGHTS, WORDS, AND ACTIONS ALWAYS BE POSITIVE OF HIM. This requires self-discipline on many levels. It has often been said that when we do things, we do them three times: in our mind, in our words, and in our actions. Often, there is much emphasis on guarding what we say or o e c as etose ̀ re ̀ e xen a ns aoters ̀ c a nsee ̀ oweè or ̀ o sre ̀ nenaw c on o c a n see. Don’t allow negative thoughts to build up against what you know is true about your husband – that he is your good and perfect gift from the Lord, and that he is fearfully and wonderfully made. Through prayer, fasting, meditation, and God’s word, tear down the strongholds that have built themselves up in regard to your husband so that your words and actions may always be positive both publicly and privately.

HONOR HIM AS THE PRIEST, PROVIDER, AND PROTECTOR OF YOUR HOME. . o oso e e s sa n a in o aa no p m m ee.e a ps sis eae aw ees m s sonis e xecs e emos e c as eit e e sa e a e ao s a c c e . s ep e so e ome o sa n m s ee s pe ce as the mediator between God and the family. Respect your husband as the one who provides the vision and goals for your family – not just a provider of resources. Understand that God will provide your husband with the vision. o wokis on in s so n . sis not to sea o oasa n e a ms . e nos a c c e o pes ona a m ons o nesa n a o a smaepo sonso o sto e s ea n e se s e in e wok a e a s e no sa n. s epoe co o o ome o sa ns o c aona e s s e s anything that may infringe upon the physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual well-being of your family. If you feel or see that these components are not present in your husband, pray that God develops these things in him.

PRAY FOR HIM. Be attentive to your husband’s needs, desires, strengths, and weaknesses in a way that you can prayerfully ask God to address. When you do so, you allow God to use all of His resources to touch the areas of your husband that you’re praying for. Have peace in knowing that you have no power to change anything about your husband, but God gives you the power and authority to pray for him and help him through God’s strength.

PLACE HIM AS YOUR NUMBER ONE PRIORITY IN YOUR HOUSEHOLD. Yes, place him before the children, the household chores, work-related duties, and all the other things that attempt to press their way in front of your husband. Establishing and maintaining this priority is one way of fostering peace, better communication, and productivity within your home and relationship.