Inside this issue: Community Awards
2
Malvern Netball continued… 3 Tagging Of Bins Begins
4
Have A Go Day
4
Art For Cancer Society
5
P: 03 318 7450 F: 03 318 7451 E: info@malvernnews.co.nz W: www.malvernnews.co.nz
ISSUE 904 Friday 30th August 2019
Greendale School Field Trips 5 Qualified Ski Instructors
6
Mt Olympus Curling Day
7
Darfield Garden Club
7
Animal/Container Shelters
9
Kirwee Drop-In Day
9
Winter Tournament
10
KRFC Prizegiving's
11
Golf Results
12
Public Notices
12
Save The Date
12
Classifieds
12-15
Trades
15-16
Email Column
16
CIRCULATION: 5,800+ homes. East of Darfield (Cha/erton’s Road), West of Darfield (Arthur’s Pass), between the two rivers (Waimakariri & Rakaia), including all the townships & rural deliveries in that area. The information and opinions published are not necessarily those of the Malvern News proprietors.
Next edi on will be distributed: Friday 6th September Advert Deadline - 10am Tuesday 3rd September ♦ Weekly Newspaper ♦ Business Cards ♦ Photocopying ♦ Laminating ♦ Binding ♦ Typesetting
If it’s newsworthy and you know about it - we’d like to know too!
The Kirwee Senior Netball team - winners of the 2019 Malvern Netball Premier Grade, taking the title for the fifth year in a row. Back L - R: Bronnie Smith, Becc Rolfe-Toko, Karen Opie, Jordan Atutolu, Jessica McKenzie, Katelin Henderson, Emily Redmond, Jan Thomas (Coach). Front L to R: Vanessa Moore (Captain), Amy Rock and Ella Stokes. Absent: Gemma Smith (Assistant Coach). The Malvern Netball Centre held their Finals’ Day on Saturday, August 17th at the Darfield Netball Courts in what turned out to be great weather.
Throughout the day there were some fantastic games played with a few tightly contested finals. The Intermediate/High School Grade (Years 7, 8 and
THE MALVERN A & P ASSN.
9) game was won by South Darfield Seniors was won by Malvern Minties with a ten goal Kirwee with a fifteen goal difference over Kirwee Panthers. margin. However, the score It was a showcase of the up and didn’t reflect the game and the coming talent in the Malvern Darfield Senior team was area. In the Social Grade the leading for the majority of the Darfield Goal Diggers took out game showing skill and the honours over Kirwee All determination right until the final Sorts. The Premier Final whistle. between Kirwee Senior and Continued on Page 3...
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Friday 30th August 2019
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The recipients of the Malvern Community Board Community Service Awards 2019. L - R: Back row: Samuel Ireland, Mike Davies, Carol Gurney, Craig Moody, Errol Ashby and Malvern Community Board Chair Jenny Gallagher. Front row: Bailey Inwood, Daisy Prosser, Rebecca Inch and Jenny Walter.
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Long service, and new, were both recognised at the Malvern Community Awards. Ten people received awards for their service to the community at a ceremony in Darfield on Friday night, August 23rd. A group of five from St John youth received the inaugural Youth Community Service award. Rebecca Inch, Inch Samuel Ireland, Ireland Daisy Prosser, Prosser Bailey Inwood and Jenny Walter were recognised for completing their St John Senior Shield Badge which includes doing over one hundred hours of volunteering. The group also won five categories at this year’s St John Mid Canterbury Youth Competition. Five Community Service Awards were also given to longstanding volunteers Mike Davies, Davies Reg Anderson, Anderson Craig
Moody, Moody Carol Gurney and Errol Ashby. Ashby Mike Davies was recognised for his volunteer work as a Civil Defence first responder looking after neighbours in Hororata following the earthquakes. He also assisted with helping protect houses from flooding, along with looking after the Hororata Domain and church grounds at his own expense, and managing car parking at big community events including the Hororata Night Glow. A Justice of the Peace and twenty three year member of the Glentunnel Township Committee, Reg Anderson was noted as a strong, communityminded man always willing to get involved and support others.
Craig Moody received his award for his active, practical involvement in many different community groups including the Glentunnel Community Centre, Coalgate Township Committee, Glentunnel Reserve Committee, Glentunnel Indoor Bowls and Glentunnel Museum. Carol Gurney was recognised for her efforts as a willing volunteer at many community events and for setting up the second-hand clothing store ‘Carol’s Closet’, which raises money for the Hororata Anglican Parish. Errol Ashby received his award for his work as founding chairman of the Malvern Community Patrol, a member of the Malvern Community Vehicle Trust and a Red Cross Meals on Wheels volunteer.
THE SALE OF RITSO STREET HOUSES NETTED AT LEAST $2,750,000.00! Malvern ratepayers paid for these houses. The law is quite specific. If rates are used for a particular project and that project is no longer relevant the money must be given back. The Ritso houses fit these criteria. To add salt to the wound, Darfield people were to be compensated about $300,000.00 for exchanging the recreation reserve freehold titles for the reserve status of the Ritso Street houses so they could be sold. The council has stolen this money too!
Wake up Malvern people (especially Darfield) there is only one person who will fight to stop your money being spent in Rolleston...
Friday 30th August 2019
Page 3 ROLLESTON LAW
Kirwee Senior Captain Vanessa Moore commented on how proud she was of her team taking out the Premier Shield five years in a row. There was exceptional netball played at all levels, with some stand out players. One such player was fifteen year old Jessica McKenzie who this year won the exclusive Betty Black tray for highest honours. Jess plays for Kirwee Seniors, as well as Darfield High School, Malvern B (in the Selwyn competition) and gained representative honours in the Selwyn Under 15 team this season. She is a
strong defensive player and Malvern Netball look forward to seeing where netball takes her in the future. Centre President Vanessa Moore commented, “I am extremely pleased with how the day came together and the enjoyment had by those on, and off, the court. It was great that each grade was won by a different Club within the Centre. “Thanks to all the volunteer coaches, managers, bench officials, first aiders, committee members supporters and parents who make this fantastic game possible,” she concluded.
South Malvern Minties - Winners of the High School Grade.
Darfield Goal Diggers - Winners of the Social Grade.
Malvern Trophies 2019 Outstanding Primary Dev Rep Outstanding Primary A Rep Outstanding Under 15 Dev Rep Outstanding Under 15 Rep Outstanding Under 17 Rep Outstanding Senior Rep Most Improved Umpire Umpires Trophy High School Round 1 Winner High School Runner-up High School Winner Social Round 1 Winner Social Runner-up Social Winner Round 1 Prem Winner Prem Runner Up Prem Winner Grice & Read Goal Agg Fair Play Supporter Integrity Cup Executive Cup Betsy Little - Services to Malvern Betty Black - Highest Honours
Summer Barker Natalie Summerfield Molly Mannering Chloe Newbigging Jordan Atutolu Karen Opie Jessica Townsend Tania McKay Sth Malvern Minties Kirwee Panthers Sth Malvern Minties Darfield Faux Pas Kirwee All Sorts Darfield Goal Diggers Kirwee Seniors Darfield Seniors Kirwee Seniors Darfield Goal Diggers Rebecca Pra/ley South Malvern Magic S/S Next Team Melissa George Jessica McKenzie
Contact us for an appointment Rolleston Office: 78 Rolleston Drive, Rolleston Square Darfield Office: Malvern Business Hub, 68 South Terrace
Jess McKenzie winner of the Betty Black - Highest Honours Trophy with Malvern Netball President Vanessa Moore.
T: (03) 374 2547 W: www.meareswilliams.co.nz E: rcg@meareswilliams.co.nz E: kcw@meareswilliams.co.nz
Friday 30th August 2019
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Selwyn District Council will be starting the roll out of Radio Frequency Identification (RFID) tags for rubbish, recycling and organics wheelie bins in the coming weeks. The stock-take and tagging of the district’s 51,000 bins will begin in September and is expected to take six to eight months to complete. It will see addresses checked for all bins and an RFID tag about the size of a thumb tip fitted to each bin. T he tag is automatically scanned each time the bin is collected. “The project will allow the Council to easily maintain accurate records of the number and types of bins at each
property, instead of relying solely on labels and serial numbers. This means database accuracy is maintained remotely, allowing for a more efficient service and to ensure fair charging for all,” said Council Solid Waste Manager Andrew Boyd. Boyd Residents will be informed by letterbox flyer, and text message if mobile numbers are on file, when the stock-take team is in their area. Residents will be asked to make sure that their address is visible on the label on the side of their bins or to write their address on the lid. While the tagging crew is in the area, bins will need to be left out until 6pm on their collection
day. This is because the tagging crew are operating separately to the collection truck. A small round yellow sticker will be applied to the side of each bin once the tag has been fitted. If the stock-take shows that someone has a bin that wasn’t originally allocated to their property they will be given the option to keep the bin and pay for it, or for the Council to remove it, Andrew commented. “It’s a clean slate, so we won’t be charging people for bins that have not been in our system previously. But in the future, once all the tags are on, eventually only bins tagged to your property will be collected,” he added.
Around one thousand people attended the Council’s Have a Go Day held in West Melton on Sunday, August 25th (previously this had been held in Darfield). Those attending enjoyed getting a taste of nineteen different sports and activities including cricket, softb a ll, rug by l e agu e, athletics, touch, Cheapskates Skate Skool, netball, bowls,
croquet, hockey, football, basketball, badminton, gymnastics, golf, Hororata Highland Games, West Melton Scouts, Play-centre and Selwyn District Council Group Fitness. Many participants said they enjoyed the opportunity to give sports a go that they wouldn’t normally get to try out, along with some
of the unusual, fun activities such as the automatic pitching machine for softball, the games put on by Hororata Highland Games organisers (including eating cold porridge!), target practice at the SNAG (starting new at golf) stand, and wind resistance running with a resistance parachute.
Friday 30th August 2019
Darfield Primary School’s talented artists have created some beautiful landscapes as part of their art lessons, held earlier this year. In 2018 pupils contributed beautiful pastel pictures of flowers that adorned the bags patients could place their belongings in while receiving cancer treatment. This year the school has focussed on creating landscapes. These landscapes will be used to decorate the offices of the Cancer Society, while prints of them have been contributed to the Cancer Society's art auction. In recognition and appreciation the School’s artists were gifted with ceramic hangings.
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• Leeston: 9 Johnston Street
Some of Darfield Primary School’s talented artists: Back Row L - R: Lona, Madeline, Charlotte, Millie. Front Row L - R: Dianthe, Rylee, Declan, Harlan, Nick.
Charming character home complete with rimu panelling and lead light windows. Four large bedrooms, open-plan, two living areas. Large garage with attached sleepout or hobbies room. 1009m2 section. Vendors want sold and will meet the market. For Sale: Reduced to sell, phone to view. • Hororata: Downs Road 167.7398 hectares in 36 paddocks, sheep yards, cattle yards, very tidy three bedroom cottage. For sale by negotiation. • Darfield: 212 Horndon Street An excellent opportunity here as a first home or investment opportunity. Open-plan living, two bedrooms, cosy and warm with a modern kitchen. Large 1012m2 section. For sale: 390,000. Phone for scheduled viewing time. If you are considering a move in the Spring, please give me a call to discuss your property.
Min Cookson Ph: 03 341 4301 M: 027 249 5417 E: min.cookson@xtra.co.nz Last Friday, while some Greendale School students opted for the annual ski trip to Mt Hutt with their whānau, for a fun day on the slopes, others headed to Rolleston. Those at Mt Hutt enjoyed lessons, using the magic carpet and chairlift, a hot sausage sizzle to keep energy levels up, before having an afternoon of free time - ski time. Meanwhile, a large group of
Tūrepo, Horopito and Mataī students, along with teachers, teacher aides and parent volunteers, boarded the ‘Mt Egmont Express’ (thanks to Blake’s Blake dad, Craig) Craig and headed for Rolleston. It was a sunny day, ideal for playground adventures and a picnic morning tea; children commented that, “you can do anything on the metal slide, and I went on the merry-go-round a
Greendale School students having fun at Mt Hutt.
Enjoying a relaxing time at the Selwyn Aquatic Centre.
Blake & bus driver dad, Craig.
hundred times, and didn’t feel sick!” “Accompanying teacher, Wayne Matthews was run ragged by those who wanted him to make their playground equipment ‘go faster’, said Deb Palmer, Palmer on behalf of Greendale School. “Across the road from the playground was our next stop; the Selwyn Aquatic Centre. Togs on, hats on, goggles on, and splash! With pools to suit the youngest to oldest students, everyone had fun,” Deb added. “The lazy river, where students just floated around, was extremely popular, as was the deep pool, where the 8+ yearolds enjoyed ‘bombing’! “Many thanks to the parent helpers who gave their time to support our two school trips,” she concluded.
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Ex Darfield High School student Jason Collins commented that he had just achieved the proudest moment of his ski teaching career, when he successfully assisted current pupils to achieve their Level One Ski Instructing qualification. Jason’s goal had long been to create opportunities for DHS students to grow themselves via the process of training to be ski instructors. He then hoped they would continue with the challenge, training while working as instructors at Porters Ski Area. The first students to achieve their certificates have just flown through with a one hundred percent pass rate, it was reported. Jason, along with DHS teacherin-charge of the School’s ski programme, Gavin Chalk teamed up to make this initiative happen. The pair commented that they had been planning this for a number of years. “Gavin helped me get through more than he realises at Darfield High,” Jason smiled. “He’s a bloody legend, so there is no better person to have teamed up with to make this happen,” he stressed. The students have completed their training over two ski seasons. They then had to complete their assessment over
62 South Tce, Darfield 7510 ● Ph 03 318 7450 ● Fax 03 318 7451 info@malvernnews.co.nz ● www.malvernnews.co.nz Typing Faxing • Binding • PrinEng • LaminaEng • Photocopying • Business Cards • Card & Paper Sales • Monthly Newspaper (Rolleston) & Weekly Newspaper (Malvern) • •
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L - R: Sebastian Swann from NZISA (the assessor), DHS students Saskia Jansen, Lewis Morrison, Lachlan Woolley, Matthew Cooper and Harry Williams, Gavin Chalk (Teacher in charge of the DHS ski programme) and Jason Collins (in charge of the Instructor training and Porters Ski Area Ski School coordinator). a five day period, under the watchful eye of a New Zealand Snowsports Instructors Alliance (NZSIA) assessor. This successful initiative has created a solid foundation for another group to start their training this season and they will be assessed during the 2020 ski season. “Thanks to Gavin, Darfield High School and Porters Ski Area for supporting this and making it a reality,” Jason said. “Well done
to all the students who took this on and congratulations on a one hundred percent success rate in passing the exam. I look forward to supporting you as you develop these skills further as instructors at Porters,” Jason added. “I would also like to thank Garreth Hayman and Doppelmayr for their part sponsorship which enabled these students to reach their goals,” Gavin added.
HEAVY DIESEL MECHANIC REQUIRED Bathurst Resources is New Zealand’s largest specialist coal company. We produce over 2.2 million tonnes of coal each year and proudly employ over 450 people. Our Canterbury Mine is located near the town of Darfield, 40km west of Christchurch. The Role: Reporting to the Maintenance Manager, the Heavy Plant Mechanic/Fitter, supported by a team of mechanics/fitters, is responsible for conducting planned and unplanned maintenance of mobile and fixed plant machinery in accordance with the operating plan and daily operational needs. This is a fantastic opportunity for someone who wants to expand their skill base and is looking for a change. Being part of a small dynamic team, you will be responsible for repairing, servicing of all mobile and fixed plant, as well as maintaining our light vehicle fleet. Training will be provided. You will also assist fixed and mobile plant service activities to ensure that work is carried out in accordance with the Health and Safety in Employment Act and any other relevant legislation as well as in compliance with company procedures to ensure that equipment failure and downtime is kept to a minimum. Day to Day Duties: • Responsible for planned/unplanned maintenance of mobile & fixed plant machinery • Assisting with the maintenance and servicing of a small Light Vehicle fleet • Ensuring that targets are met, and quality is maintained. Skills & Requirements • Trades qualification in Diesel or Mechanical Engineering (Would consider applicants with other automotive qualifications and or practical experience in a related trade) • Experience working on heavy diesel plant and mobile plant equipment • Good oral and written communication skills • Excellent organisational and planning skills • A strong commitment to Health and Safety • The successful applicant will be willing to work the site roster from Monday-Friday with some weekend work as required. Culture & Benefits • Market leading pay • Health and life insurance • An uncompromised commitment to H&S and Zero Harm • Ability and support to progress within the business • This is a residential based role. Candidates will be required to live locally or be willing to relocate. How to apply If you are interested in this position please email a copy of your resume including a cover letter to: careers@bathurstresources.co.nz. Please note successful candidates will be subject to preemployment drug and alcohol testing and a preemployment medical. Applicants for this position must have NZ residency or a valid NZ work visa.
Friday 30th August 2019
The Mt Olympus Curling day, held on Saturday, August 24th was reported to be a magnificent event. ‘Tarnspeil' (the kiwi version of a Scottish winter sport) was held on ‘the Tarn’ at the top of the spectacular Mt Olympus ski field which is 1800 metres above sea level. “This is a unique event which really shows our Club spirit,” said Club Captain Phil Freeman. Freeman “The curling began in 2011 when we received some funding as part of the Rugby World Cup promotion to showcase true kiwi events. Since then we have tried to run a curling day every year, but weather and ice conditions have not always been favourable,” he added. "This year we had a bluebird day. Over one hundred people enjoyed watching eight teams compete in ‘Tarnspeil’, curling their way through a round-robin which led to a highly entertaining semi-final and cliff hanger of a final," Phil explained. It was reported that the final saw a Windwhistle Winter Sports Club (W.W.S.C) team take on a team of misfits from Methven!
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The final was tight with a high standard of curling which saw the crowd on their feet. With just one curl remaining the W.W.S.C team had to swing around the guard stone and tap the rearward sitting, competitor’s stone, out of the circle to take a possible, much-deserved, victory. However, in a cruel twist of fate, the stone gained a small wobble enroute to its target, having likely encountered some rougher ice near the edge of
the sheet. The stone swivelled this way and that, as the crowd held its collective breath. But luck swung the way of the visitors and the stone missed its target by the narrowest of margins. Leaving the Methven misfits to enjoy the spoils of victory. "Whether you are curling, or spectating, this is a great social event. We enjoy welcoming Club members and visitors to our Field, the curling embodies who we are as a Club,” Phil concluded.
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W.W.S.C team display their curling skills at the Mt Olympus Curling day. Photo - Thomas Stephens.
The August meeFng was held at the RecreaFon Centre and members were informed of the Christchurch Garden FesFval to be held in March 2020. There is an opportunity to have a stall there. The guest speaker was Steve Marcham who is the head gardener at Otahuna Lodge. Steve gave a history of Otahuna Lodge and showed pictures of the building and spoke on what they grow and produce. At the close of the meeFng aJernoon tea was served.
Lee Stokes.
The Mt Olympus Freeride Team provided ring side entertainment, jumping over the catering area at the Tarn. Above: Poppy Freeman gets some air. Photo - Thomas Stephens.
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Friday 30th August 2019
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Friday 30th August 2019
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Describing themselves as ‘ordinary blokes that like providing good customer service’ the Directors of ASP Machinery Limited, Phil Paul and Scott Donaldson have recently announced some additions to their popular product range. The three year old business, which began after three mates started it together (all are still involved in one capacity or another) carries a range of products to suit a diverse range of needs. “We’re pleased to now be able to offer two sizes of Animal Shelters to complement our ever expanding range of Container Shelters, and various end wall configurations,” Phil explained. These galvanised steel pipe structures, come complete with gates, and heavy duty, UV protected, PVC covers and ASP advise that stock of all products is available from either their Sockburn location, or most recently their Timaru yard. Fork
lifts are onsite to assist with loading at both sites. “We can also discuss options for freight to home, or farm, on an individual basis,” Phil added. “We pride ourselves on providing great products at great prices and with great service; it’s what you expect, and what we provide,” both Phil and Scott stressed.
Kirwee residents had the opportunity on Saturday, August 24th to head down to the Kirwee Recreation Reserve Pavilion and provide feedback on plans for the proposed extension to the Reserve. Selwyn District Council has been working closely with the Kirwee community and Reserve committees over the past two years to engage with local residents, sports clubs and organisations, gathering ideas and input for the Reserve development.
“We’re confident the Reserve extension will be a huge asset to Kirwee, with additional sports fields, community recreation space and facilities that will serve the community as a central hub now, and into the future,” said Council property and open space planner Derek Hayes. Hayes The drop-in session saw about twenty five to thirty people attend it was reported. Adrienne Begg, Begg representing various Clubs and a ratepayer of Kirwee attended commenting that she
“We’d love an opportunity to discuss potential customers’ requirements and their options. We can then quote a competitive price to provide a product that meets their needs,” Phil and Scott concluded.
For contact information see the advertisement in this issue and for further details search for ASP Machinery on Facebook.
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found it extremely informative. “There is a lot of work to be done and it will take a good few years to fully implement the plans,” she added. “A lot of thought has gone into the draft drawings, thanks to the development committee and Derek, from the Selwyn District Council,” Adrienne concluded.
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Friday 30th August 2019
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Malvern players once again represented our zone and their respective schools with pride, showing real country determination and grit at the Canterbury Winter Tournament on Thursday, August 22nd. Thanks to Simon Lee, Lee Tom Ferguson and Nick Pratt who helped prepare the Malvern Rugby team for the tournament and supported the rugby team as coaches on the day. Although the team didn’t come away from the tournament as victors on the day, they left Hagley Park with their reputation firmly intact and sent a big message out to other Canterbury Schools… ‘watch out for the Malvern team in 2020!’ The netball girls had a tough challenge being in the A-grade section of the tournament. They played well, worked together as a team and fought hard to get some close losses and come away with a win. They showed great integrity and composure to stick to their game when things didn't quite go as they should have. A huge thanks to Dave Holland and Kiri Conrad for their organising, umpiring and coaching for the tournament. Hockey was played at the new Ngā Puna Wai complex in Halswell. An amazing new facility where the players got to experience an international quality ground. The team had two draws and lost four games by no more than a goal or two. The team played exceptionally well, staying positive and playing as a team, even after just one practice together! We
hugely appreciate the time, support and expertise of Kim Thomas and Lisa McLean to make the day a successful one for the players. The football players enjoyed some fantastic games also. A
massive thanks to Scott Shearer for taking on the coaching role and Dana Sutherland for the support which got the players to tournament. Jayde Mayberry - Selwyn Sports Trust.
The Malvern Football team. Back L - R: Travis Shearing, Dustin Rowlands, Casey Booth, Addison Youngman- Mark and Cohen Todd. Front L - R: Declan Chaffey and Riley Smith. Absent: Finley Tallentire.
The Malvern Hockey team. Back: (Coaches) Lisa McLean and Kim Thomas. Centre L - R: Molly Turner, Kate Geddes, Maia Townsend, Gemma Pankhurst, Mitchell Whyte and Bella Greer. Front L - R: Sam Smith and Angus McLauchlan.
PLOUGH & PRESS = 1 PASS! Our Plough & Press set up is the 1st like it in the country and is showing great results!
CONTACT ROB FOR A QUOTE TODAY
all your Cultivation & Drilling needs Phone Sam Gliddon 021 524 937
027 447 4812
Hawkins River Mechanical - Tractor & Ute Servicing Phone Mike Williams 022 675 8495
Friday 30th August 2019
The annual Kirwee Rugby Football Senior prize giving took place on Saturday, August 3rd at Larcomb Vineyard. A huge turnout by players, supporters and partners made for a great night. With a three course meal, presentations and a live band, all that were present thoroughly enjoyed themselves into the wee, small hours. A big thanks to the staff at Larcomb for hosting the night and all the rugby committee for their efforts during the year. The Club thanks all its supporters, sponsors and players for a great year and we look forward to the 2020 season ahead. Toby Messerer - Club Captain Sam Truscott - President Fraser Grant -Secretary.
Most Imp - Angus Field Player of Yr - Andrew Walker Players Player - Ben Redmond Mst dedicated - Liam O’Callahan
Page 11
Tubby Smith Award Rory Burgess Bobby Redmond Club Award Blair and Amy Jones.
Tree too big? Not enough light? Or just untidy!
Selwyn's Qualified Arborist NaEonal Cert, HorEculture; NaEonal Cert, Advanced HorEculture NaEonal Cert, Arboriculture; Diploma, Arboriculture
For Tree Care, Maintenance & Removals Contact Brandon
L to R: Amy Jones, Club president Sam Truscott & Blair Jones. Blair & Amy were the recipient of the Bobby Redmond Club Award.
L to R: Andrew Walker Div 2 player of year, President Sam Truscott.
Matt Gliddon Mob: 027 505 7048 Office: 03 317 9623 • Email: trudy@waboyes.co.nz
All general excavation work undertaken • • • • •
2019 TROPHY RECIPIENTS: RECIPIENTS: Div 3 Personality of Yr - R.D Bull Most Imp - Rory Burgess Player of Yr - Kye Johnson Most Dedicated - Chris Webb Div 2 Colt of Yr - Jack Kelleher
Kirwee Rugby Football Club’s Junior Prize giving was held on Friday, August 2nd at their Clubrooms and was described as a great evening in celebration of a fabulous season. After the formal part of the evening players and family members enjoyed fifty-four pizzas for dinner! “Well done to our 2019 Trophy Winners,” said Blair Jones KRFC Junior Club Captain. “It was another fun season had by ninety six Kirwee Rugby Football Players. “Thanks to the Coaches and Managers of the seven teams and we look forward to seeing you all again next year,” Blair added!
021 061 5397 • 03 317 9587 tailoredtreesltd@icloud.com
FULL INSURANCE
• •
Rory Burgess, winner of Div 3 most improved and the Tubby Smith cup with Club President Sam Truscott.
2019 TROPHY WINNERS U6 Gold Player of Year: Connor Jones Most Improved: Charlie Cowan U6 Black Player of Yr: George Messerer Most Improved: Molly Johnson U7 Player of Year: Rex Cleaver Most Improved: Ruby Shepherd U8 Player of Yr: Breanna Beresford Most Improved: Noah Monk U9 Player of Year: Isaac Jones Most Improved: William Thrower U10 Player of Year: Oscar Opie Most Improved: Jack Cleaver U11 Player of Year: Zoe Parker Most Improved: Zak Kershaw Female Player Yr: Maggie Bull. Bull
Site Clearing River Protection Stump Removal Hedge Removal & Burning Water Race Cleaning Tracking & Forestry Roading Truck & Trailer Hire
L - R: U7 Most Improved Ruby Shepherd, Player of the Year Rex Cleaver.
• • • •
Screen Soil Available 1½ - 25 Tonne Tracked Excavators 8 Tonne Wheeled Excavator D6 Bulldozer with Mole Plough Driveways: Shingle, Chipseal, Asphalt
L to R: Kye Johnston Div 3 player of year with President Sam Truscott.
L - R: U9 Player of Year Isaac Jones, Most Improved William Thrower.
CONTACT TEL GREEN Phone: 027 233 4716 L - R: U11, Player of Year Zoe Parker, Most Imp Zak Kershaw.
Email: teltelgreen@hotmail.com Web: www.greenlineag.co.nz
Full Service from start to finish!
L - R: U6 Gold Player of the Year Connor Jones, Most Improved Charlie Cowan.
•
Page 12
Friday 30th August 2019
GOLF NOTICES
GOLF NOTICES
GOLF NOTICES
Results 24th August 2019 MATCH OF THE DAY: Stroke Round 1st: P Youngman66 2nd: B Hopkins 67 3rd: B Nahkies 68 4th: D MacDonald 68 5th: H MacPhee 70 6th: S Clark 70 7th: S Hygate 71 8th:D 8th: McLaughlan72 9th: C Watson 73 10th: I Bourke 73 11th: T Michael 73 Closest to the Pins: Pins #3: B Souness #9: P Bee #13: D Rutter #17: P Beatson Men’s Longest Drive: S Johnstone Women’s Longest Drive: Drive D MacDonald Longest Putt: Putt S Hygate Best Gross: Gross P Youngman Two’s: Two’s D MacDonald, D McLauchlan, T Doyle 9 Holes - Stableford: Stableford 1st: T Kikstra 20
Thank you to all our sponsors
Results 20th August 2019 MATCH OF THE DAY: Stableford Ladies: 1st: J Wilson 38 2nd: J Whitaker 35 3rd: J Helmore 34 4th: S Gilmour 34 5th: K Groters 33 Men: 1st: G Chambers 40 2nd: S Prendegast 39 3rd: J Hicks 38 ————————————— Results 23rd August 2019 MATCH OF THE DAY: $5 Friday Friday Golf Men 1st: 1st M Te Waa 31 Ladies 1st: 1st J McLeod 22 Closest to the Pins/Creek: Pins/Creek #6: M Te Waa #11: M Te Waa #8: J Studholme Glentunnel vs Rest Of The World: World Glentunnel: 3 ROTW: 2
Results 24th August 2019 MATCH OF THE DAY: Club Championships Qualifying Best Gross: Gross A Inch 70 Seniors: Seniors 1st: A Inch 70 2nd: A Fouchee 71 3rd: M Weatherley724th: 4th: A Sime 77 Intermediate: Intermediate 1st: D Platt 79 2nd: J Perkins 84 3rd: J Reardon 84 4th: S Williamson 84 Junior A: 1st: M Te Waa 84 2nd: J Hicks 88 3rd: 91 3rd G Marsh 4th: C Stevens 91 5th: N Penney 91 Junior B: 1st:D 1st: McCaughan92 2nd: A Thorne 93 3rd: G Harris 94 4th: C Bishop 95 Ladies: 1st: P Pearce 69 Ladies 2nd: T Hicks 70 3rd: N Muir 70 Closest to the Pins: #2in2: M Weatherley #6: A Fouchee #11: D Smith #14: T Muir #17: A Fouchee
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
PUBLIC NOTICES
Change of time! IMPROVERS & INTERMEDIATE Wednesday, 6:30pm - 8:30pm, at the Darfield Recreation Centre.
BEGINNERS & IMPROVERS Thursday, 6pm - 8pm, at the Darfield Scout Hall.
First timers, please contact me first...
Jenny Brookes - Instructor Phone: 027 445 2285 Email: jennybrookes76@gmail.com
62 South Tce, Darfield 7510 ● Ph 03 318 7450 info@malvernnews.co.nz ● www.malvernnews.co.nz
PRICE INCREASE AS OF 1ST SEPTEMBER 2019 • Classifieds:
1 - 20 words 21 - 40 words
Prices include GST
$10.00 $15.00
• Display:
Per cm column $7.50
Discounted rates for half & full pages! Adver sing not charged to an approved account must be pre-paid prior to deadline! Entries are now being taken for the
FRIENDS OF DARFIELD HOSPITAL ANNUAL FUNDRAISING TOURNAMENT
Wednesday 11th September 2019 6:30pm for a 7pm start - at the Darfield Recreation Centre
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
ACKNOWLEDGEMENT
ACCOUNTANTS
CARPET
COST: $20 - per Team of Four (TWO of whom MUST be NON CLUB PLAYERS)
Entries to Bob Adams, Phone: 03 318 8532
30th Aug
6:00pm
Print, Paint, Make Art ExhibiFon Opening
Selwyn Gallery
30th Aug
8:00pm
Malvern A&P ASSN - AGM
Sheffield Pavilion
31st Aug
North Canterbury Wearable Arts
Rangiora Town Hall
31st Aug
CPWL Enviro. Management Fund ApplicaFons Close
31st Aug
5:00pm
Selwyn Environmental Short Film Comp Entries Closing
1st Sept
Malvern News Price Increase in place as of today
1st Sept
Father’s Day - All you can eat Spit Roast & Rib Buffet
Woodley’s Restaurant
1st Sept
Father’s Day Buffet with Dad’s Favourites!
Terrace Downs Resort
1st Sept
10:00am 2019 Mud Plug (Rain out day Sunday 8th Sept)
1st - 6th Sept 3rd Sept
Learn to Fly Gliders
Bulls Road, Sheffield Cant Gliding Club, Airfield
10:00am MALVERN NEWS ADVERTISING DEADLINE - For 6th September Issue
3rd-7th Sept
Upper Ellesmere Water Race Intake will be closed
6th Sept
12:00pm NominaFon Glentunnel School BOT By-ElecFons Close
7th Sept
1:00pm
Nourish Event - GraJing with Nelson Early
11th Sept
6:30pm
Darfield Indoor Bowling Club Hospital Tournament Darfield Rec Centre
12th Sept
1968 Coaltrack Road
Windwhistle School BOT Parent By-ElecFon Deadline
17th Sept
7:00pm
Sheffield/Springfield Plunket Toy Library AGM
Sheff/Spring Toy Library
17th Sept
7:30pm
Local Body ElecFons - Meet the Candidates
Darfield Rec Centre
20th Sept
12:00pm VoFng Closes for Glentunnel School BOT By-ElecFons
20th Sept
7:30pm
Buddy Holly & The Eagles Tribute Show
25th Sept
1:00pm
ROLLESTON NEWS ADVERTISING DEADLINE - For 2nd October Issue
27th Sept 28th Sept 11th-12th Oct
Oxford Club
Darfield Artweek 2019 Entries Closing Today 9:00am
Country Fair & CraJ Day
Trinity Church & Grounds
Darfield Rugby & ITM Annual Fishing CompeFFon
Haldon Arm StaFon
ARE you wasting your NEED carpet? Go local! valuable time trying to Very competitive pricing, keep up with your accounts? seldom beaten. 30 years Call us now for hassle-free servicing this area. In home accounting, tax and business sample service, also repairs advice - all right on and installations. Phone Alan your doorstep. Sterling Roberts 021 227 2080. Accountants @ Malvern Business Hub, Ann-Maree CATTERY 021 215 0981. ANGEL Cats Boarding Cattery, Oxford. Love & cuddles galore! Pick-up & delivery. Check us out on Facebook @angelcatscattery or w ww . a n g e lc a t s .b i z C a l l Sarah 03 312 1452 / 0210 424 367 or email angelcats@xtra.co.nz CHURCH NOTICES
CHURCH NOTICES
Darfield Life Church
Sunday 6.30pm 10:30am - First Sunday of month. Ps Wayne Watson 027 281 8340 17 North Terrace
Friday 30th August 2019 CELEBRANT
Page 13 CRANE TRUCK
FOR SALE
HEDGE TRIMMING
CELEBRANT - Michelle Spence. CRANE truck hire, Malvern area. POINT of lay hyline/shavers HEDGEHOG Weddings and Civil unions 5m steel deck, trailer pullets for sale. Please phone in Selwyn area. Please optional. Tadano certified 021 863 158. Hedge & phone 318 3000 or 027 205 7.3m crane, lift up to 2.9 PUNGAS for sale. 500mm Shelterbelt to 1.6m high, $35 to $60. 4660 or visit the website: tonnes up close, 650kg at 7m. Payload is 5 tonnes. Ideal Also pittosporum, $4. www.michellespencecelebrant.com Trimming for spa pools, playhouses, Phone Lex 027 439 3926. Owner Operated CHIMNEY CLEANING machines, timber, small WOOD shavings - untreated, Geoff 021 549 499 sleepouts etc. Call today! clean shavings suitable for CHIM Chim. We'll sweep your log A/h 03 324 3482 0800 DRY HIRE. horse stables, calving sheds, -burners flue, check the chicken houses and rabbit firebricks, baffles, air-tubes TWO CRANE TRUCKS INSPECTIONS h u t c h e s . Av a i l a b l e i n and controls. We're experts 3 AVAILABLE FOR HIRE 70L bags, 1m bales TENANCY Inspections! on coal-ranges, also sweeping • 2 Tonne Lift (compressed) and bulk Offering initial & routine any sized open fire. We quote delivery. Phone 03 344 1676 • 7 Metre Reach inspections on tenanted and undertake repairs, flue for more details. • 5 Metre Deck houses, taking the hassle extensions and install bird • 6x2 with 10 Tonne max out for you. Call Rebecca netting. 0800 224 464 load weight of Rural Tenancy Inspections Members NZHHA. • 4x4 with 6 Tonne max Ltd on 027 313 2270 WINTER’S coming! Time to load weight or email us at service your fire. Accumulation $6.50 + GST per bale. Perfect for Tricky access! office@ruraltenancy.co.nz of soot seriously affects Phone: 021 150 5717 Call James on: performance. Latest rotary LOCKSMITH brush technology. Free 022 413 0602 moisture check on wood. LOCKSMITH Selwyn based Safety inspection. All work 24hr mobile service, keys DOGS insured & guaranteed. cut and general lock and From $80 single story. Phone safe maintenance. EFTPOS CAN DELIVER 0800 SWEEP ME or available. Call Locktight 021 0277 1927. Security 021 171 8060.
MACHINARY WANTED
RURAL MARKETING LTD
Purchasing PRATTLEY Portable Yards (sheep & cattle) Loading Ramps, Weigh Crates, Spare Gates and Panels!
PH: 027 345 9262 PAINTING & DECORATING
MEADOW HAY FOR SALE!
OXFORD BOARDING KENNELS 312 Kiri Kiri Rd, Oxford
Ph Anne, Vern or Gareth Whiting
Call (03) 347 0024 021 641 465, 027 315 5520 or 050 876 6897 (SOOTYS) E: Sootyschimneys@xtra.co.nz SERVICES WE OFFER ARE: • • • • •
Bird Netting Chimney Cleaning All Repairs Refurbishment Installs / Removals
We can offer the one stop shop! Health checks, bird proofing, repairs, installations, refurbishment of wood burners, removal of fires, we specialise in all wood burners including Pyro Classic, Ethos and Ultra Low Burners. We are recommended by leading fire retail outlets, and have a long standing relationship with leading Property Management companies along with a large private client base.
03 312 3355 027 288 8724
$40
PHONE 027 439 9116 GARDENING
R K FIREWOOD Supplying wood for this Winter!
Old Man Pine, Bluegum, Macrocarpa, Oregon. TRY THE HOT MIX! EJpos available. All top quality, clean wood.
Phone Rini 027 451 7300 DRIVEWAYS
Micky Conway Painter & Decorator Darfield Based Will cover all areas Contact Micky on
021 125 1613 conwaydecor@hotmail.com
PAINTING & DECORATING
FULLY INSURED
Udi Painting & Decorating For all Pain ng and Decora ng services! Interior & Exterior Pain ng & Plastering
GARDENING services. Open 7 Days Fruit tree pruning, Rose 9am-11am, 4pm-6pm pruning, Hedge trimming, Inspection welcome general weeding etc. Call Dan 022 187 6470 or email FIREWOOD & COAL dan@thegroundskeeper.co.nz DRY pine (6 cubic metres), to discuss. $555. OMP, $585. Blue gum HEDGE TRIMMING pine 50/50 mix, $695. Phone 027 297 7563.
LIFESTYLE, LIFESTYLE farm tracks, yards and dairy lanes our speciality. CARPET/Window Cleaning. Screened rotten-rock, it’s CARPET local and lasts better. Thorough job, good price, Springfield Quarry phone quick drying. Highly 318 4132. recommended. Ph/text Robert HEDGE TRIMMING anytime on 027 299 9599. CLEANING
PEA STRAW
‘For all your decorating needs’
Hedge Trimming in Canterbury
Call Don today on 021 066 3011 or 03 318 2983 • Half size tractor for easier access
• Up to 6m height topped at 5m or less
• Branch size up to 50mm • Cutter drops material to side of hedge
COUNSELLING
Fully Qualified Wallpapering Roof PainEng All work guaranteed Free Quotes.
Contact Udi Aale 021 074 2075
Roof painting, stopping & wallpapering, gib fixing, weather board, barges & fascia repairs. References available.
Phone Dave on 021 142 0567 PETS & LIVESTOCK
PETS & LIVESTOCK
ESSIE WENT MISSING IN MARCH from 3a Farr Street, Whitecliffs. She's distinctively 3 legged and microchipped, Small & fluffy. We'd SO value any news or sightings alive or dead. Phone Marguerite
EXPERIENCED Counsellor. Children - seniors, child behaviour, parenting, adolescents, anxiety, depression, social issues, school refusal. Gareon Manler B. Couns 027 622 8210.
027 495 5610
Formerly Garry Stevenson Phone Chris O’Donnell 027 210 2532 | 03 318 8479 Email: ruralgorsehedge@gmail.com
DEADLINES FOR NEXT ISSUE:
Friday 6th September 2019 Editorial: 1pm Monday, Advertising: 10am Tuesday
Page 14
Friday 30th August 2019
PETS & LIVESTOCK
PETS & LIVESTOCK
CALF DISBUDDING • IHC Charity calves disbudded • 17 years experience • Pain relief (No Pain) used to
minimise pain & discomfort • Tetravet sprayed to reduce
risk of infection • Hygienic systems in place • Equipment disinfected & cleaned after each job • All equipment provided (excluding labour to push calves into the crate) • All calves MUST be yarded or penned before arrival • Multiple visits if required
free of charge. ADDITIONAL SERVICES: • 4 bale portable head crush (side by side) • Rubber ringing bull calves • Weighing • Drenching & vaccinating (client to supply).
SEASON 1 AUG - 1 NOV 2019
Ph: 021 059 4980 E: freemandean21@yahoo.co.nz
ROOM TO RENT SCRAP METAL SINGLE lockable rooms BEST prices! Amalgamated in Darfield Hostel. Internet, Scrap Ltd. Buying cars & farm sky TV. $180pw. Please machinery. Specialising in farm phone 027 479 1431 or clean-ups. Rod McQuoid 318 3660. buyer. Ph 027 695 0480 or VEHICLE FOR SALE 0800 030 712. ISUZU Bighorn 1996. 3.1L, SCRAPMETAL - cash paid for all types of metal farm diesel, auto, 4WD, factory machinery, old cars etc. alloys, bullbar, running boards. 259,000km. Stunning Please phone Wayne 027 in white & grey, seats 7. Last 749 9736 or 03 323 6610 owner 12 years. $6,500. (Licensed Dealer). Phone 027 213 8557. SITUATION VACANT SITUATION VACANT
SHEEP SHEARING
Mobile Sheep Shearing Canterbury • Small Mobs • Lifestyle Blocks • Drenching, Tailing,
Foot Trimming etc Generator available
Ph Shaun Adams for a quote on
021 204 1274
DUNSANDEL STOP SHOP
Please EMAIL me your application with CV & references to:
zoe@phase2.co.nz
DARFIELD BAKERY QUALIFIED BAKER REQUIRED This position is a varied role and the successful applicant must have the following attributes: Level 4 Qualified Baker Barista Skills Be able to produce quality café food Management skills (Shop Manager every 2nd Saturday). You will need to be highly motivated, with strong leadership qualities & enjoy working in a team environment. • • • •
Hours vary 4am - 7am start to 12:30pm - 3:30pm finish.
Please apply by completing an application form available from the Bakery.
• Splash Backs • Retro Fit
Double Glazing • Insurance
Repairs
Ph 03 325 4154
Ph 03 318 4128
or email your CV to SITUATION VACANT
A full job description will be provided to the successful applicant. Proven experience with children of a variety of ages is ESSENTIAL. First aid training is an advantage. Full, clean drivers licence required. Must have own road legal, tidy vehicle (an allowance will be paid for the use of a personal vehicle). References are a must & they will be thoroughly checked. Applicants must also be willing to undergo police vetting. This is a LIVE OUT position.
• Catdoors
Experience in making coffees & customer service an advantage. Week 1: Sat 5 hours Week 2: Sat 12 hours
We are on the looklook-out for a PART TIME Nanny or ChildChild-Carer for our three busy kids!
Duties will include: include: • taking kids to after school activities • daily homework tasks • general housework (especially in kids’ areas) • baking/cooking the odd meal • age-appropriate educational activities.
• Mirrors
CASUAL WEEKEND WORK
NANNY / CHILD CARER REQUIRED
Hours will be five days a week (Monday to Friday) from 3pm - 7:30pm approximately, in our home in Coalgate.
WINDOW REPAIRS
BUYING possum fur. Phone SHELLEY’S Glass and Glazing. Charlie 318 3144. Got a broken glass window? DEAD, DEAD damaged or derelict Insurance work, Pet doors, cars, trucks, vans & 4WD’s, Mirrors, Retro Refits, Single/ including motorbikes. Cash Double glazing, Splashbacks, paid. Phone 03 318 0650. Fire Glass. 32 years in the glass industry. Operates in Oxford, Cust, Darfield, Rolleston, West Melton & Surrounding Areas. Call your local Glazier - Mark on 03 WINDOW REPAIRS 312 3253 or 0272 426 368.
SITUATION VACANT
dunsandelstopshop@gmail.com
(There is a fourth, but he is 16 & is mostly self-sufficient).
WANTED
www.malvernglass.co.nz
SITUATION VACANT
SITUATION VACANT
Friday 30th August 2019 WINDOW CLEANING
Page 15 TRADES
TRADES
TRADES
TRADES
COUNTRY TOUCH SERVICES Your very own LOCAL, reliable & experienced
Window Cleaner Satisfaction Guaranteed! Phone or text Wilf Lock on 022 044 0654 or 03 347 8226 (A/H)
Plastering Your Future ‘Specialising in new builds and renovations’ Based in Selwyn District
WINDOW TINTING
TINTTINT-A-WINDOW Solar Protective films. Fade UV block. Heat Glare control. Privacy. Safety/ Security. Frosted films. Free online quotes. info@tintawindow.co.nz www.tintawindow.co.nz Ph 0800 368 468.
Contact: 021 484 230 Email: evolveinteriorplasterers@gmail.com
House & Roof Pre--Paint Wash Pre Hydro Drain Cleaning
Moss Treating: roofs, footpaths & driveways.
Cleans most surfaces: fences, paths, brick, block, wood, concrete & machinery.
Free Quotes. Ph Mike Richards 03 318 8380 or 021 179 0584
TRADES AUTO & Marine Upholsterer 3967 West Coast Rd, Phone 03 318 7378. Opening Hours: Mon to Fri, 8am to 5pm, Saturday 9am to 12pm. www.advancedupholstery.co.nz
NEW kitchens, wardrobes, laundries or what ever you need! Remodelled or just new doors. Good advice, good price. Ring Lex 03 349 0150 or 027 439 3926. PORTABLE sawmill for all your timber requirements and macrocarpa sales. Please phone Graeme Knowles on 021 613 229.
Upholsterer Recover: Lounge Suites Dining Chairs Squabs etc Free Quotes Based in Weedons Ph 03 980 4979
Specialise in making old concrete like new!
Clint Watkins Phone: 022 088 6733 Email: enhancemyfloor@gmail.com HIGH PERFORMANCE FLOOR COATINGS RESIDENTIAL INDUSTRIAL COMMERCIAL
RICKI SMITH - DARFIELD Your local mobile Hose Doctor
Ph 022 602 6502 0800 4 ENZED (0800 4 36933)
www.enzed.co.nz Heat pump supply, installaEon, servicing & maintenance General household & business electrical work.
Give Nigel a call now for your no obliga"on free quote
DAIKIN • MITSUBISHI • HITACHI
Ph: 021 387 750
Your LOCAL & reliable tradesman
COMPUTER
COMPUTER
SuperComputer Sales and Service of new and used machines. Networking, Virus protection, Backup Re-loading and Restoring of Windows. Plain old fashioned Help & Assistance!
“If life were predictable it would cease to be life, and be without flavour.” - Eleanor Roosevelt www.supercomputer.co.nz
Mark Jones 03 318 1956 027 210 4242
0800 427 427
mark@supercomputer.co.nz
Page 16
Friday 30th August 2019
Daily On Site Sales & Servicing Authorised Service Agent for Most Brands since 1996! • Ovens Machines • Cooktops • Dryers • Washing Machine • Dishwashers Hire from $8 p.w.
Darfield based with over 38 years of local knowledge and experience
• Washing
Reg. Service Technician
Septic Tank Cleaning Jetting Unit for blocked drains Camera Investigations | Port-a-loo hire Office 318 8609 | 0274 338 693 | admin@leechdrainage.co.nz
Tiler & Registered Water Proofer Contact your LOCAL certifying specialist. Over 30 years experience. Mainland Plumbing & Gas Ltd Ph Glenn: Kirwee Based
Look me up on www.mytradesman.co.nz
or phone 03 318 1973 or 027 421 1637 e: bowenEling@gmail.com
027 445 0684
david wilkinson registered electrician phone 03 318 1231 fax email
03 318 1235 sales@electricalcontractors.co.nz
po box 26 kirwee
we’ll be there when you need us. guaranteed. on time guaranteed or your first hour is free! conditions apply.
Selwyn Electrical Ltd Your Local Registered Electrician
ROB KELLOCK Call Danie 021 875 462 03 980 2865 / 03 344 5744 www.spouting2u.co.nz
318 1676 or 021 184 2448
021 732 331
Qualified
• Bricklaying & Blocklaying • Stonework • Restoration Work • Chimney, Fireplace
& Firebacks • Quality Workmanship
Guaranteed
VINCE DALY Ph (03) 318 8020 021 250 6944
Specialising in: Feedlots / Silage
Pads Agricultural Effluent
Storage Systems Driveways / Patios Residential
Foundations & Slab Excavations &
Shingle Supplies New Homes Farm Buildings
Maintenance Renovations & new builds Pump servicing and installation Water filter installation Water pump hire Supply and installation of septic tank systems • Gas and wood fire installation • IQP in backflow prevention • Teatsprayer servicing • • • • • •
0800 752 400
plainspgd@gmail.com
DARFIELD BASED
A man bumped into an old school friend at the store. The old friend started showing off, talking about his well paid job and expensive sports cars. The old friend pulled out his phone and showed the man a photo of his wife and said: “She’s beautiful, isn’t she?” The man replied: “If you think she’s gorgeous, you should see my girlfriend.” The old friend answered: “Why? Is she a stunner?” The man said: “No, she’s an optometrist.”