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If distance makes the heart grow fonder, they must be crazy in love.
Secrets to Steal From
ou meet an awesome guy, but then he finds out that his company is relocating him to, uh, China. A few years ago, this kind of extreme long-distance relationship (ELDR) would have been an instant deal breaker. But today, ELDRs seem to be more common. Obvious reason: the economy. It’s harder to find a great job, so when an opportunity presents itself, people are often taking it…even if it means moving 5,000 miles away from their significant others. “More couples are trying out these cross-continent love affairs because things like Facebook, e-mail, and Skype make it seem easier to maintain a relationship,” says Michael Malmon, PhD, a senior staff psychologist at Metropolitan State University of Denver who has counseled many couples in long-distance relationships. Of course, even with the best technology, having your BF live ridiculously far away means you have to try extra hard to stay close. We asked real women in ELDRs to explain how they kept their relationship strong.
COSMOPOLITAN | September 2012
Three women share how they make their relationships work in spite of outrageously long distances. And you thought driving 45 minutes to see your S.O. was annoying.… By Malia Griggs
THE SECRET TO STEAL
Cheyenne, Wyo. Antarctica HIS LOCATION ............................................. HER LOCATION .............................................
After dating for eight months, my boyfriend got a yearlong engineering job in Antarctica. We were in love, so one year apart felt doable. The internet at the base where he lived was limited because scientific data took priority, so we could only e-mail a couple of times a week. We
THE SECRET TO STEAL
Keep It Fun
New York City Paris, France HIS LOCATION ............................................. HER LOCATION .............................................
My fiancé, Jorge, and I have been together for more than six years. He ended up getting a great job in Paris, and I went to live with him for a while. But then I was offered my dream position managing an art gallery
Skyped just once the entire time he was there. Because so much time passed in between e-mails, I kept a list in my phone of thoughts I wanted to discuss the next time we caught up. That way, he wouldn’t miss out on stuff going on in my life. I also wrote him letters twice a month. I could send only two of the letters because he couldn’t get mail in winter months, but I saved them for when he returned. Just the act of writing them helped, because it was like I was keeping a diary for the both of us.” —Marissa R.*
back home in New York, so I returned to the States. I think one of the reasons our relationship works is because we keep things playful. I don’t text him my work complaints like I might if he were closer. Instead, I message him photos of my new haircut or the hot dress I’m wearing out, and he sends funny pictures of him dozing off at his desk. These special, small moments connect us. We save bigger c onversations for when we’re together—not while there’s a staticky connection over the phone.” —Leanne B.
y new haircut ors m of os ot ph m hi ge sa es Im send wearing out, anatd he the hot dress I’m off his desk. ng zi do m hi of es ur ct pi y funn THE SECRET TO STEAL
Schedule a Daily Date
Port Charlotte, Fla. Jönköping, Sweden HIS LOCATION ............................................. HER LOCATION .............................................
I met my Swedish boyfriend, Oscar, when he studied abroad at my school in 2008. Since then, we’ve mostly lived apart—him in Sweden and me in Florida.
When we were long-distance, we made an effort to talk every single day. We found a narrow window of time that we were both free to call—when I was driving home from work and he was getting into bed. The time between our visits passed much more quickly because I could look forward to speaking with him every single day. This year, I finally moved to Sweden to be with him.” —Rachael T.
HIGH-TECH TOOLS THAT KEEP YOU TIGHT Check out the latest gadgets and apps that can boost your connection, even if you’re a world away from each other.
WHATSAPP No more limiting your texts due to annoying international SMS fees. As long as you have this app, you can text each other for free in any country.
MOJOWIJO VIBRATOR This vibrator connects wirelessly to a laptop and can be controlled via Wii remote by your guy.
POSTAGRAM You upload a fun pic and type a sweet note to go with it, then Postagram prints your message and photo in postcard form and mails it to your man.
GOOGLE HANGOUT You can’t actually go to the movies together, but you can watch one at the same time. Go to Google+, click on Hangout, and invite him to watch funny YouTube clips with you.
*Name has been changed.
COSMOPOLITAN | September 2012
Published on Aug 16, 2012