Community Magazine September 2017

Elul 5777 - Tishrei 5778 September 2017

The Hayim Aruchim Sephardic Division Helping Familes Make Critical Health Care Decisions

Volume XVI Number 12

Traditional Family Recipes For Rosh Hashanah > Page 44

Thou Shalt Keep Thy Phone On and Fully Charged Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour

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38

Elul 5777 - Tishrei 5778 September 2017 Volume XVI Number 12

Sefer Torah Dedication Honors Rabbi Edmond Nahum

42

JOLIE GREIFF

52 16

53

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Thou Shalt Keep Thy Phone On and Fully Charged

76 78

46 44 Traditional Family Recipes to Begin a Year Full of Blessings

Is Organic Food Really Better?

DAVE GORDON

SARINA ROFFÉ

80 82 84

54 Yad Ezra V’ Shulamit –

28

Feeding Israel’s Hungry Children and Families ELLEN KAMARAS

BONNIE AZOULAY

56 HI-TECH GADGETS

32

86 88 92 94 96

Letters Living Emunah The Money Comes After Rabbi David Ashear Finding Your Spark in the New Year 5778 Ellen Geller Kamaras From The Files of The Bet Din Unwarranted Defamation and Legal Fees Rabbi Max Sutton You Be The Judge!

A Fiery Summer Rental Ask Jido Debt and How It Can Affect Your Health Norman Balassiano Mabrouk Community M.D. Dr. Jaques Doueck Research Proves Talmud’s Statement: Olive Oil is Good for your Memory Maayan Kfir Community Highlights Peleh the Boy Wonder What are carnivorous plants?

The Lighter Side Riddles Classifieds

FOR BACK TO SCHOOL

The Hayim Aruchim Sephardic Division – Helping Families Make Critical Health Care Decisions MACHLA ABRAMOVITZ

Style

60. woman to woman An Exclusive Interview with Linda Argalgi Sadacka

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SPIRIT

DAY

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64. Positive Parenting

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72. One Smart Cookie!

66. Healthy Homelife Making Peace with Stress

Apple and Cinnamon Sticky Buns with ’ Parve Cream Cheese Frosting

68. Shaatra Does It

74. The Little Things In Life

Miriam Sasson

An Unsettling Story

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Elul 5777 - Tishrei 5778 September 2017

The Hayim Aruchim Sephardic Division Helping Familes Make Critical Health Care Decisions

Volume XVI Number 12

Traditional Family Recipes For Rosh Hashanah > Page 44

Thou Shalt Keep Thy Phone On and Fully Charged Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour

At HCTNY, we know the journey is as important as the handshake. That’s why we take care of every detail AtsoHCTNY, wecan know that you staythe focus journey is as important as on securing every deal. the handshake. That’s why we take care of every detail so that you can stay focus on securing every deal.

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l tters

SECRETS OF THE FOOD INDUSTRY REVEALED

The headline of last month’s cover story – “Secrets of the Food Industry Revealed” – was very misleading. It looked like the article would be about the food we eat (i.e., kosher food) having additives or other hidden chemicals, and instead it was just a trick to show why people should not eat what they think is vegetarian in a non-kosher restaurant because the food may have been cooked in beef or chicken broth. This article had no information on additives in kosher food, which is why I read it. I felt like it was a sneaky trick to get people who eat in non-kosher restaurants to read the article.

Stephanie M. ------------------------------------I’m sure last month’s cover story must have been a real eye-opener for many people.

But the truth is, seafood fraud, ingredient substitution, and mislabeling, have been going on in the food industry for many years. And by the way, supermarkets are just as bad!

The only real solution to ensure that you are eating exactly what is listed on the menu or that you are purchasing what is listed on the label is to eat at establishments with proper kosher supervision and only eat foods with kosher certification.

For example, the proper way to give kosher certification to fish productions is for the mashgiah 14

COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

to see every fish. Therefore, all fish varieties must have a mashgiah who examines every fish during production. Having the workers check each fish individually is not sufficient. The mashgiah must set up a system which ensures that each fish is inspected by him. After cooking, the mashgiah must be present for the canning and labeling. So, when you buy tuna from a kosher establishment with a mashgiah you can be 100% certain that it is actually tuna (as opposed to the survey mentioned in the article which pointed out that six out of ten times the tuna that was from non-kosher establishments was not in fact tuna!).

Carl P.

confusion, and greed. But Rabbi Mansour put everything in perspective with one thought: If a person goes to the office knowing that he is entirely in Gd’s hands, he will be able to enjoy what he does without the constant anxiety that plagues so many people.

I will be posting this article in my office – just as a reminder to myself and to all of my employees that it is Hashem alone that determines the success of our work.

Michael C.

WHAT’S IN YOUR FRIDGE?

AUGUST 2017 ISSUE

Tell us what you really think!

Send us a letter!

THE "BUSINESS IS BUSINESS" MINDSET

EMAIL: letters@CommunityM.com

WEB:

My favorite column in your magazine is the Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour. The message of last month’s article about the need to replace the “Business is Business” mindset is so critical in today’s fast-paced business world. Business decisions often concern complicated situations which are neither totally ethical nor totally unethical. Therefore, it often seems difficult to do the right thing. Torah values such as honesty, respect, fairness, and responsibility are supposed to dictate our ethical behavior, but are often ignored or pushed aside in times of stress,

Last month’s article about ensuring that our children lead healthy lives (“Jewish Parenting & Food”) was right on the money. Many good points were made about the importance of the types of food we keep in the fridge. Another point that I would like to add is that many times kids (as well as parents) go to the fridge just out of boredom or habit. Most people ask themselves what they have in the fridge before asking 1) Am I actually hungry? And 2) If I am hungry, how much should I eat based on when my next meal will be? This is a huge mistake! Asking these questions in the right order will help you make choices based on what your body needs, versus what your eyes see. A note on the outside of the fridge with the questions in the correct order can serve as an important reminder.

Victor G.

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All submissions are considered for publication unless otherwise requested.

Words of

Rabbi Eli J. Mansour

Thou Shalt Keep Thy Phone On and Fully Charged

I

t is, quite literally, out of this world.

We refer to teshuvah, repentance, the process which is to be our point of focus during this time of year. Our sages write in the Midrash that repentance preceded the world’s creation; it was already in existence before the universe in which we live came into being. What they mean by this is that teshuvah does not, fundamentally, fit into the way the world runs. In our world, an offender needs to be punished. If a violent criminal assaulted and murdered several times, he would not escape severe punishment by beating his chest, confessing, tearfully expressing remorse and committing to never repeat his felonious behavior. The concept of teshuvah, however, allows us to do just that. Even though we have violated the commands of our Creator and the King of the universe, we are given the opportunity to have all our wrongdoing simply erased from the record, as though we click on “delete” to get rid of everything we’ve done wrong. This is not to say, of course, that repentance is easy; quite to the contrary, in order to repent properly one must undergo a difficult and grueling process of inner change. However, the very concept, the power

we are given to erase our past mistakes by undergoing a process of growth and change, is otherworldly, a gift from heaven, from a world beyond the one we inhabit.

As we embark on the exciting – albeit challenging – journey of teshuvah leading up to the High Holidays, let us take a look at some of the “mechanics” and underlying principles of repentance, an understanding of which will, hopefully, enhance this process and help us make the real changes we want and need to make.

Gd's role, as it were, is to place the call, to ignite the sparks of inspiration, but it is up to us, and nobody else, to "pick up the phone" and to then show up and put in the effort.

Repentance and Free Choice

Rav Yosef Haim of Baghdad (1833-1909), more commonly known as the Ben Ish Hai, the title of his most famous work, wrote another book with a similar name – Ben Ish Hayil. In that work, he raises a fundamental and important question about the nature of repentance.

One of the basic tenets of Jewish faith, which is famously elaborated upon by the Rambam, in his Hilchot Teshuvah, is the doctrine of free will. This means that we are fully responsible and

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to do the right thing or wrong thing, and He determines whether or not we repent for our mistakes. The Gemara (Kiddushin 30), for example, comments, “A person’s evil inclination overtakes him every day and seeks to kill him… and if not for the fact that the Almighty helps him, he cannot withstand it.” Our sages here tell us explicitly that we would be unable to choose right from wrong, to ignore the lures and temptations of sin, if not for Gd’s help. Does this remark not run in direct opposition to the doctrine of free will? Does this not prove that we are not entirely in control of our decisions?

This question arises from our liturgy, as well, and particularly from the passage that might perhaps be the most crucially important prayer segment which we recite this time of year. Three times every weekday, we beseech Gd in the Amidah service, “Bring us back, our Father, to Your Torah, and draw us near, our King, to Your service, and return us in complete repentance before You.” This request seems, on the surface, very peculiar.

Isn’t repentance our responsibility?

Isn’t it up to us whether we will work to change our conduct or continue making the mistakes we’ve been making until now? Whose job is it to bring us back to Torah – Gd’s, or ours?

Why do we ask Gd to bring us back, if this is our responsibility?

The Two-Stage Process The Ben Ish Hai answers by distinguishing between two stages of repentance: the thought of repentance, and the act of repentance. We might term these stages “inspiration” and “transformation.” First, we receive inspiration, we see, hear, learn, or understand something that moves us and gets us thinking about how we need to make real changes in our lives. The second stage is when we translate these thoughts into actions, and we proceed to work towards making the changes that we thought about making.

An example of this two-step process can be seen in a startling halachah mentioned by the Gemara in Masechet Kiddushin. The Gemara there addresses the case of a man who betroths a woman on the condition that he is righteous. We can imagine the case – a couple begins dating, and the chemistry is there, but the girl, who had dreamt of marrying an especially devout, Torah-committed boy, is uncertain whether this boy reaches this standard she desires.

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However, the Ben Ish Hai observes, a number of sources in Torah texts appear, at first glance, to indicate that Gd causes us

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Of course, Gd does not require only thoughts of repentance. He expects us to translate the thoughts into action. But the first stage, the thoughts and feelings of remorse and the desire to improve, are immensely significant, so much so that a person who experiences such feelings can even be deserving of the moniker “tzadik.”

On the basis of this distinction, the Ben Ish Hai answers his question regarding repentance and free choice. True, repentance is our responsibility, and we have the free will to decide whether to repent or not. However, we cannot undergo the transformation of teshuvah without the inspiration of teshuvah. And this inspiration comes from Gd. He is the one who puts us in a position to see, hear or experience something that moves us and gets us thinking. So many times throughout the day, every day of our lives, Gd sends us sources of inspiration. Sometimes it’s witnessing a great mitzvah act performed by somebody that impresses us and makes us want to be better. It could be an insight we read in a book or hear in a class, or a profound thought shared by a friend or family member during Reliable, Trustworthy, Safe, On Time casual conversation. Sometimes it’s For Reservation Call: (929) 355-6333 a less pleasant experience, such as Available 6 Days A Week • Friday 2 Hours Before Shabbat a hurtful word of criticism which causes us to pause and take stock of ourselves. And, while we hope and pray this never happens, it could be a personal crisis or loss that moves us to reevaluate our conduct. If we look carefully and stay attuned, we can pick up pieces of inspiration The boy, who very much wishes to marry this girl, betroths her on each and every day from the things we observe and the condition that he is a true “tzadik,” so that if it turns out he is not situations we go through. These are all gifts from Above, what she expected, the engagement would be void. The Gemara mini “shofar sounds” that call to us throughout our lives rules that in such a case, even if the boy turns out to fall far short of bidding us to look into ourselves and into our lives and the girl’s desired standard, nevertheless, she must receive a divorce to improve.

But while the inspiration comes from Gd, the transformation from him before she can marry somebody else. The reason, the comes only from us. A multibillionaire can call us several Gemara explains, is “shema hirher teshuvah belibo” – the boy may times a day offering us a great job with a $2 million annual have had thoughts of repentance at the moment of the betrothal. salary, but we won’t earn a penny if we don’t answer the We cannot know this boy’s thoughts at that moment, and thus it is phone, or if we don’t bother to show up to the interview. possible that although he does not outwardly appear righteous, he Similarly, as inspired and moved as we become, nothing in was, in one sense, a “tzadik” at that time by virtue of his thoughts our lives will change if we don’t answer the call and do the of repentance. necessary work. Gd’s role, as it were, is to place the call, to

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Keeping Your Phone On

ignite the sparks of inspiration, but it is up to us, and nobody else, to “pick up the phone” and to then show up and put in the effort.

When we pray in the Amidah for Gd to bring us back, we refer only to the first stage, to the stage of inspiration. We ask Him to send us clear, unmistakable messages that will inspire us. We ask Him to draw our minds and our hearts towards the right direction, to fill them with thoughts and feelings of teshuvah. But this in no way absolves us of completing the second stage of the process and acting upon those thoughts and feelings to make concrete changes in our lives.

This concept, however, requires a bit of clarification.

After learning and understanding these two stages of repentance, one might ask, what if we don’t feel inspired? If repentance has to start with thoughts and feelings, and these are provided by Gd, then does it follow that we have no obligation to try to change if we don’t have any such thoughts and feelings? Does this mean that we can all sit back, relax, and passively wait for something to move and inspire us?

The answer, of course, is no. Gd sends us sources of inspiration, but we need to be open to receiving them.

Earlier, we suggested the analogy of somebody who does not answer his phone. But another part of our obligation is turning our phones on. If a person who’s been unemployed for months finally managed to get an interview with a great company offering a high salary, and the employer told him he will give him an answer the next day, the fellow will ensure his phone is fully charged and turned on the entire day so he does not miss the call. This is how it is with religious inspiration, as well. The Ben Ish Hai is teaching us that we are guaranteed to “get a call” from Gd several times a day. Too often, however, we leave our “phones” off, or we don’t bother to keep the battery charged. We aren’t expecting – or, even worse, we are not interested in – these “calls,” so we turn off our spiritual “antennas” so we never hear them. If we hear the phone ring, then we will be forced to leave the comfort of complacency to answer the call and then act on it. Unfortunately, many of us prefer the convenience of leaving the phone off so we are not disturbed.

The great tzadikim live their lives with their spiritual “phones” turned on and fully charged at all times, always ready, prepared and eager to hear Gd’s “call.”

Inspiration From a Shoemaker It is told that Rav Yisrael Salanter (1809-1883) was once walking in the street late at night and was surprised to see a lamp burning in a certain home. He looked closely and saw the shoemaker who lived in that house working diligently repairing a pair of shoes.

The rabbi gently knocked on the door, and when the shoemaker opened the door, the rabbi asked him why he was up so late.

Dedicated in memory of the pure neshamot of the Sassoon children 22

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an ordinary sight such as a shoemaker hard at work becomes a meaningful experience and a precious opportunity for growth.

Mussar at a Bus Stop Rav Shalom Schwadron (1912-1997), who was known as “the Maggid of Jerusalem,” used to spend a couple of months every year in Brooklyn, and would study in the kollel where I learned at that time. I had the unique privilege of driving him home every day. On one occasion, as I was bringing him to his apartment, he noticed a “No Standing” sign at the bus stop in front of the building, and he asked me what was written on the sign.

“It says, ‘Assur la’amod’ [‘No standing’],” I explained.

“Wow,” the rabbi marveled. “I didn’t realize they wrote such profound words of mussar [religious teaching] on street signs here in America!”

“Mussar?” I asked. “What mussar?”

He said, “Assur la’amod bahayim – It is forbidden to stand still in life! We must always be working to grow and reach higher!”

If we are looking for guidance and inspiration, we’ll find it in many different places, even at bus stops in Flatbush.

Gd gives us the inspiration, but we Fixtures Faucets Hardware accessories need to be looking for it.

Why do we go through so many High 1663 coney island avenue Brooklyn NY 11230 Holidays without changing, without growing, without elevating ourselves?

Monday–wednesday 9am–5:30pm thursday 9am –7pm sunday 11am–5pm Well, many of us do change, grow, and Valet Parking elevate ourselves, every year, but we do appointments welcome not realize it. We need to give ourselves more credit and recognize that we have 718.787.1000 grown and improved, and that every www.homeandstone.com small step we take forward is immensely significant and precious. Sometimes, “As long the candle in the lamp still burns,” the shoemaker said, however, we fail to grow, or to grow enough, because we are not sufficiently attuned to the inspiration Gd sends our way. We must not “I still have an opportunity to fix the shoes that need fixing.”

The rabbi was amazed. “What a profound lesson I learned wait for some earth-shattering event or mind-blowing insight to give us from this shoemaker!” he later exclaimed. “As long as our soul a jolt. There are countless more subtle forms of inspiration that come to still burns, as long as we are still alive and functioning, we have us effortlessly, as gifts from Gd, every day. Our job is to keep our minds the precious opportunity to repair everything within ourselves that open and attuned to these messages, and then act upon them.

Elul is the time to beseech Gd for inspiration, and to listen need fixing. This shoemaker would not go to sleep as long as the light burned and he could do his repair work. We, too, must never carefully and attentively in an effort to find it. This is the time to ‘sleep’ as long as we are able to do our work to ‘repair’ our souls.” open the books that we’ve been intending to read, or to attend Most of us who saw a shoemaker working late at night would not the classes we’ve been intending to join, and to look around us turn this sight into a meaningful life lesson. But Rav Yisrael Salanter for opportunities for meaningful growth. This will ensure that our lived his life sensitively attuned to spiritual wavelengths, ready and experience this coming High Holiday season will be truly uplifting eager to pick up Gd’s signals. When a person lives this way, even and transformative, and that we enter 5778 on a slightly higher level than we’ve been in 5777, amen.

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The Money Comes After H aving money is a wonderful blessing. It allows one to learn more Torah, perform a lot of hesed, and support many worthy causes and organizations. However, this should never be one's goal in life. The Mishnah (Avot 1:15) exhorts, “Our primary goal should be Torah and mitzvot, and our work should be secondary”. We need to invest a normal amount of effort to earn a livelihood, but at the same time we must remember that if Hashem wishes for us to support charitable organizations, He'll find a way to give us the money to do so. The pasuk in Tehillim (23:6) states "Goodness and kindness shall pursue me." If somebody is meant to be wealthy, then the blessing will come.

The Chovot HaLevavot (Shaar HaBitachon) writes that the obligation of hishtadlut (effort) applies only to the work necessary to obtain the basic necessities of life. Beyond that, one's wealth will come or not come regardless of our efforts. Our attitude toward parnassah must be one of “We work so that we can eat, so we have the basics that we need in life (Tehillim 128:2). If this is our approach, then, as the verse continues, “we will earn blessings both in this world and the next”.

Parnassah is not something we should be thinking or worrying about constantly. The Torah says we need to work for our livelihood, not that we need to worry about our livelihood. Hashem brought us into the world, and it is His job to provide for us. Our job, meanwhile, is to serve Him, and parnassah must never get in the way of this job.

Rabbi Pesach Eliyahu Falk received a phone call from a woman who wanted to have another child (her fifth) but her husband was opposed. He said that he earned just enough money to support four children, and they were not in a position to have any more. The husband agreed to listen to the Rabbi, and so they consulted with Rabbi Falk, who quoted the Gemara's comment (Niddah 31 a), "When a child comes into the world, he comes with a piece of bread in his hand." This means that when Hashem blesses a couple with a child, He provides them with the means of supporting the child. A year and a half later, the woman called back and enthusiastically reported that they had a boy. She further reported the day after the baby was born, they received a phone call from relatives who were elated over the birth, and who were blessed with wealth and wanted to share it with this family.

These relatives wired money to their account. Several days after the brit she went to the bank and found that $10,000 had been deposited. They saw yad Hashem (Hashem's hand) so clearly, the fulfillment of the Gemara's statement that when the child is born, Hashem provides the means of supporting him.

We will not always see Hashem's assistance so clearly, but one way or another, He will ensure to increase a family's parnassah as it grows. Each child that is born brings more blessing. Our job is to do the will of Hashem, and His job is to provide us with our needs.

There are men who are still single because they have not yet secured an adequate source of livelihood to support a family. The Gemara says (Bava Metzia 59a), "Blessing is found in the home only on the account of the wife."

The source of this statement is the story of Avraham Avinu, who received great wealth in Egypt on account of his wife. If a man of marriageable age does not earn enough to support a family, this might very well be specifically because he does not yet have a family to support. Once he marries and has a family to provide for, Hashem will step in to ensure he is able to do so.

We have to do our job, and then Hashem will do His. Adapted from “Living Emunah,” by Rabbi David Ashear, with permission of the copyright holders, ArtScroll / Mesorah Publications, Ltd.

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ropel is here to help community women discover a profession, cover the cost of tuition, and enroll in certification programs. Propel is also a support system, a self-esteem booster, and a place to find a passion that you never knew existed. The women who walk through the doors of Propel come from all walks of life. The Propel woman is married with kids and wants to find something fulfilling to call her own. The Propel woman is the young adult looking for a program that suits her schedule and her goals. The Propel woman just lost her job and is looking for financial stability. She is the wife of a retired husband, looking to earn additional income. The Propel woman is a recently divorced woman with kids who is looking to navigate her new life as a single mother.

In fact, the Propel woman could be you or me.

In a short time, Propel has already helped 37 women to graduate certification programs and land jobs (both part and full time) in their field of study. Collectively, these women will earn approximately $954,800 annually, with salaries as high as $75,000 in their first year. Here are some of their stories: 28

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Vicki Auto CAD certificate (A computer-aided drafting software program used to create blueprints for buildings)

Hi Vicki! Could you tell me a little about yourself?

I’m 39 years of age and have three girls. I’m married for 20 years.

When I graduated high school I went to FIT for their interior design program. I almost finished but then I got married.

What was the catalyst that led you to call Propel?

I heard and read about Propel and thought it was interesting. I always said I wanted to do something with computers and something with interior design. I called Propel. I didn’t know that they help you enroll [in a certificate program] or help pay for your education. Once I spoke with Ellen [Propel’s Life & Career Coach], I knew I was not backing out; I was going to prove to myself I could do this.

What certificate program did you take?

I took a basic Auto CAD class at the New York Institute of Technology. The program had four classes that were six weeks each.

It wasn’t that bad; we only met once a week.

Were there any challenges you faced along the way?

“The important services of the Propel Network are not only of great benefit to the capable women of our community who seek to enter the workforce, they are necessary for the families who will rely on the respectable salaries and productivity of this growing workforce.”

- Rabbi Eli Mansour

Not really. I still picked up my kids from school at four o’clock, and dropped them off in the house. I still made dinner and had everything done.

What advice would you give women wanting to go to work?

Are you working now?

I’m working with an architect in Deal, and I work from my house ten hours a week. It really fits my lifestyle. I couldn’t ask for anything more perfect.

How does working affect how you see yourself as a mom, a wife, or a community member?

I like to have something of my own. It’s nice to have this part time gig, or practice for something I might want to do in the future.

Hi Jennifer! Could you tell me a little about yourself and what led you to call Propel?

I’m 32 years of age and I’m a single mom with two kids.

I got divorced, and in the beginning my life was upside down. I met with Ellen at Propel, and we ended up finding a paralegal program at Pace in Manhattan. I graduated with a certification, and I’ve been working as a paralegal ever since.

It was definitely a big help for me that I did have my family supporting me. If somebody does not have a support system like I did, I think just going to the Propel coaches will be enough. I know in my personal experience I was always able to call them if I had a problem, but still until today I call Ellen (laughs).

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Judi Bookkeeping Certificate Hi Judi! What led you to call Propel?

Jennifer Paralegal Certificate

Did you have a support system? What suggestions would you give women who don't have one?

Follow your heart. Listen to what your heart is telling you to do.

For a long time I was always listening to other people, and pleasing other people. Then when I finally got to Propel I realized it’s not really me; that’s not what I wanted to do. I would advise other women to listen to the advice Propel gives and figure out if this is what you really want to do, and if you can picture yourself doing it long term.

A friend of mine told me about Propel. She said they were offering courses that summer. I was looking to expand my knowledge in computers, which I had very little of, so I really needed to start from scratch. I wasn’t working. I gave up my job working in retail and I did not want to go back to retail. I called Propel and got in touch with Ellen.

We talked. She set me up with two classes, one in QuickBooks and one in basic computers. It was the best thing Propel ever did for me.

Follow your heart. Listen to what your heart is telling you to do.

Where are you working now?

I’m doing accounts payable for a management amenities company.

I’ve always been working, but my jobs haven’t been consistent over the last five or six years. And now this job is the most stable I’ve ever had. I’m much more confident.

What advice can you give other women like yourself?

Do not to be afraid to take the next step. Give it your all.

Discover your path to success. Call Propel at 646-494-0822 or email Info@ ThePropelNetwork.org.

MACHLA ABRAMOVITZ

THE HAYIM ARUCHIM SEPHARDIC DIVISION

I

Helping Families Make Critical Health Care Decisions

But how were they to calm her down, since morphine, the t was early afternoon on eruv Yom Kippur last year when Rabbi Raymond Beyda of Congregation Shaare Zion received sedative used by the hospital, could arrest her breathing? Rabbi an emergency call from Denise, a community member who Beyda called his colleague, nephrologist Dr. Albert Matalon from was living in San Antonio, Texas. Their family had a life and death NYU Langone Medical Center, who informed him that there were decision to make concerning their 89-year-old mother, and antidepressants used for psychiatric patients that would do the job urgently needed Rabbi Beyda’s help. Denise’s mother, who was without endangering her life.

“Once the hospital understood that we were not going to pull suffering from a terminal heart condition and was being treated at a local hospital, desperately wanted to go home. She had been the plug on my mother, they sedated her safely, switched her from in the ICU for over a month, and couldn’t take it anymore. The the ICU into a standard, more comfortable room, and even found hospital was willing to comply with her wishes, but doing so a way to get her home with the oxygen she needed. By doing this, we extended her life by a few months and she died comfortably, would effectively kill her. surrounded by loving family Rabbi Beyda immediately contacted the ICU doctor, “Rabbi Beyda and Dr. Matalon made us aware and friends. Rabbi Beyda and Dr. Matalon made us aware who admitted that in order of the halachot as well as the medical options of the halachot as well as the to send Denise’s mother that were available to us. We can now look medical options that were home they would have to available to us. We can now cap her supply of oxygen back at my mother’s last months with no look back at my mother’s that was presently being regrets, knowing that as a family, we did last months with no regrets, generated by a machine. “He everything we could for her.” knowing that as a family, we told me that she might not Denise, a community member from Texas did everything we could for make it to the ambulance, her,” Denise says. or else would pass on in the Denise and her family are not alone in confronting today’s ambulance. I needed additional information about her condition medical system, which appears to undercut the terminally ill before a halachic decision could be made,” Rabbi Beyda says.

A comprehensive discussion with her attending physician patient’s right to a prolonged life, often without the family’s determined that other than this heart condition, the woman was knowledge of this fact. Many are similarly unaware that Jewish alert, and otherwise in decent health. A quick call to medical posek law has much to say about what they are required to do under Rabbi Zvi Ausch in Boro Park confirmed that in her particular case these trying circumstances, and that what is required may often (each case must be evaluated individually) everything must be done be at odds with accepted societal perceptions as to what qualifies to keep her alive, regardless of how agitated she was. as “quality of life.”

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Hayim Aruchim – Help Especially for the Sephardic Community

Hayim Aruchim provides a service that meets a fundamental need. Unfortunately, in today’s medical How, in fact, did Rabbi Raymond Beyda, a popular culture, not all options are being communicated to speaker, pulpit rabbi, guidance counselor, and author, the families. “Between the BUSINESS of hospitals, the and Dr. Albert Matalon, whose specialization is kidneys BUSINESS of insurance companies, and the pervading and not cardiology, come to play such a crucial role in ideology that maintains that without ‘quality of life’ helping direct the medical treatment of this elderly life is not worth living (whereas we believe life itself woman living many states away? They are among four is a gift) the medical community paints a picture Sephardic responders (three rabbis and one doctor) for the family that they are doing the best thing for who man a 24-hour hotline for Hayim Aruchim, the the patient by unplugging the respirator or by not Sephardic branch of Agudath Israel of America’s doing what is necessary to extend the patient’s life. ‘I The Center for Culturally Sensitive Health Advocacy “We are trained to communicate wouldn’t do that to my mother,’ is a common refrain. and Counseling that helps families make health care with the presiding doctors, One shouldn’t assume that doctors are always on decisions according to halacha. Now two years into its analyze the family’s options, the patient’s side. There are financial incentives. The mandate, Hayim Aruchim serves the greater Sephardic determine which ones are sooner a patient is released from the hospital, dead halachically permissible, community that extends beyond its Brooklyn base explain all options to the family, or alive, the more money is generated to the hospital, to include Manhattan and New Jersey, as well as and push for the halachically and the amount is substantial,” Rabbi Beyda states. permissible ones.”

California, Texas, Florida, and Canada.

This resistance to prolonging a terminally ill Rabbi Raymond Beyda Why, though, is there a need for a Sephardic branch? patient’s life can take many forms. Even the simple matter of inserting a feeding tube can become an “When it comes to life and death situations, I issue, according to Rabbi Beyda. “One doctor argued don’t know of any differences in interpretation and with me that he wouldn’t insert a tube because tubes practice between Ashkenazi and Sephardi. Still, the get infected and infections are dangerous. I challenged average Sephardi may not understand that and may him on this. How many get infected, I asked? 15%. not feel comfortable seeking help from an Ashkenazi How many of that 15% don't respond to antibiotics? organization under these dire circumstances. Rabbi 1% might die from infection, he answered. And how Ausch, Hayim Aruchim’s chief posek is Ashkenazi, but many patients will die if they don’t eat, I asked?” he works together with families’ personal rabbanim “Some doctors are extremely helpful and whenever necessary, and carefully explains to them accommodating while others get defensive once they the halachot. Community posek Hacham Eliezer realize that someone with a medical background is Harari also advises on halachic decisions. As well, questioning the information they gave to the family. our communities are more comfortable discussing “Doctors, though, have a way personal issues with someone they personally know of presenting the case in a way We try to be as non-confrontational as possible. That’s the only way to get the cooperation of the medical that convinces the family not to and respect,” Rabbi Beyda says. prolong their loved ones’ lives. staff, whose help we need to obtain the information It’s an excellent partnership between Agudath There is a way of phrasing the about where the patient stands medically. Only once Israel and Hayim Aruchim. “Agudath Israel has people options that influences how we have that information can we confront the halachic working on site in Maimonides, Mt. Sinai, Columbia, the family will respond. Part our job is to sift through the issues involved in their case,” Dr. Matalon says. and several other hospitals throughout New York. There of terminology to find out what By law, hospitals are obligated to treat a patient are officially four of us manning the hotline, but there their true options are.” are eight people actually at work at all times,” Rabbi Dr. Albert Matalon in every way that is medically necessary. Still, what’s medically necessary is sometimes debatable, and the Beyda says. “When someone in need dials the hotline – 347 578 8200 – the four Sephardic responders simultaneously get law is not clear in the case of debilitated patients who will only gain the call to their cell phones. If no one picks up, the caller can leave a number of weeks of life by extending their treatment. “But even in a voice mail. When the caller hangs up an email with the voice mail situations where it is clear that the doctor is obligated to continue attached goes out priority to the four Sephardic responders and treating, some doctors refuse to do so, maintaining that the decision should be up to the family. Doctors, though, have a way of presenting backup to the Ashkenazi responders as well.“ This team of dedicated professionals was handpicked for their the case that convinces the family not to prolong their loved ones’ extensive knowledge of medical halacha. Their training is rigorous. lives. There is a way of phrasing the options that influences how the They meet with oncologists, critical care doctors, pulmonary experts, family will respond. Part of our job is to sift through the terminology and others in order to gain enough of a background in medical to find out what their true options are,” Dr. Matalon says. When, in conditions and terms to be able to converse intelligently with doctors the past, hospitals refused to supply available life-saving treatment, to enable them to ascertain the available halachic options in what Hayim Aruchim was able to transfer patients to more accommodating are often life and death circumstances. In addition to the ongoing facilities. They have also taken hospitals to court for non-compliance. training the Hayim Aruchim responders receive, every two months or so they all meet with Rabbi Ausch to hash over difficult problems One Woman’s Escape from Death Lorraine Safdieh’s case proves the doctor’s general point: Her that arose during that time. daughter, Shelly Safdieh-Rothstein from West Long Branch, NJ, still shudders when recalling her mother’s escape from certain death two Hayim Aruchim’s Role Rabbi Beyda is quick to point out that Hayim Aruchim does not months before. Their family’s ordeal began innocently enough. They do medical referrals. “We are trained to communicate with the were celebrating their mother’s 83rd birthday when Lorraine began presiding doctors, analyze the family’s options, determine which to choke. Hatzalah quickly rushed her to the hospital, where the ones are halachically permissible, explain all options to the family, obstruction was removed. But rather than send her home, the hospital recommended that she be placed under hospice care within their facility. and push for the halachically permissible ones.”

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Because Lorraine was in the late stages of Parkinson’s disease, her In this regard, as well, their partnership with Agudath Israel works to throat muscles were weak, which caused her to choke on her food. their advantage. “When in doubt we can refer the question to someone The hospital tried using feeding tubes to no avail, as she continued who doesn’t know the people involved. That way we get a clear psak aspirating whatever food she swallowed. Once under hospice care, uncolored by the emotional strain associated with the case.” the nurses assured them, morphine would be administered to keep Because Rabbi Beyda is so well known, people often call him Lorraine comfortable until her heart gave out on its own. The family, directly on his cell. One such occasion precipitated an extremely though, wouldn’t hear of this. “We are not in the habit of doing Gd’s gratifying and unexpected result. Siblings questioned whether they work,” Shelly repeatedly told the medical professionals. were obligated to put their elderly father through a procedure that When Dr. Matalon got involved, Lorraine had practically wasted would extend his failing life. From the frustration in the daughter’s away to skin and bones, not having eaten for over a week. He voice, Rabbi Beyda sensed that they had gone through a lot as a proved a lifesaver in more ways than one. He not only provided family and were ready to just let nature take its course. The halacha, a solution to her aspiration problem, but gave the family his cell though, was clear; it obligated them to do whatever possible to keep number, making himself available for emotional support. Rather their father alive. Despite their misgivings, the rabbi convinced the than slowly killing her off, he suggested, the hospital could simply family to move forward with the procedure. About a month later, extend the feeding tube directly into her intestines, which would Rabbi Beyda received a text message from the elderly man’s son; stop their mother from aspirating her food. attached was a photo of the great mekubal Rabbi Yaakov Hillel sitting, “The family was under the impression – correctly so – that halacha head bent, beside the patient, with the man’s hands extended on would not allow them to withhold nourishment from a patient. The Rabbi Hillel’s head. Rabbi Hillel had asked the man for a beracha. “I’m hospital didn’t offer the family this option (of the extended feeding so happy I contacted you,” the son texted Rabbi Beyda. “It’s hard to tube) because they probably felt believe that it’s been only a month that she was an elderly debilitated since we were considering taking “If we had nobody to turn to, maybe patient, and they didn’t want to go to the doctor’s anti-life opinion. we would have placed her in hospice. the trouble of sedating her – albeit Look how he’s doing now.” mildly – to enable her to eat. Even If not for Dr. Matalon I would never There are times, though, when though the attending doctor was families must let go, albeit in a have known about the feeding tube not in favor of my recommendation, halachically acceptable way. On extension. Not one gastroenterologist her gastroenterologist felt it was those occasions, Hayim Aruchim something they could and should told me about this." helps facilitate patients' transfer do,” Dr. Matalon says. to the appropriate end-of-life Shelly Safdieh-Rothstein To the family’s further facilities. Besides nursing homes West Long Branch, NJ frustration, they were told it would and hospices, one of the least take almost two weeks before the extended tube was inserted and known of these options, Rabbi Beyda says, are the LTACs, or Long Lorraine could begin receiving the proper nourishment. She’s now Term Acute Care facilities, that accommodate patients with all kinds in rehab and doing even better than she did before that fateful of medical issues that include those on dialysis and even patients birthday, since she’s now receiving the nutrition she needs through who have been declared brain dead. Hayim Aruchim has experts this extended tube. The family also hired a physiotherapist to who are very familiar with the facilities that exist within 100 miles help their mother strengthen her throat muscles to enable her of New York, and they make sure to match up each person with a to eventually swallow on her own. “If we had nobody to turn to, facility approved by their insurance. maybe we would have placed her in hospice. If not for Dr. Matalon The greatest comfort Hayim Aruchim offers families is the I would never have known about the feeding tube extension. Not knowledge that they are doing what is right for their loved ones in one gastroenterologist told me about this," Shelly says. accordance with halacha. "Families tell us that this is a terrifying situation for them to be in, when they are fighting with hospitals Helping Families to Do to keep their terminal loved ones alive, and they don't know what What is Right Halachically, for Young and Old halacha has to say about their options,” Dr. Matalon says. That Hayim Aruchim doesn’t only concern itself with the elderly; there knowledge goes a long way towards helping families better cope are occasionally issues with infants that come their way. Babies born with the inevitable pain of loss. with deformities, for instance, often do not receive life sustaining If a friend or member of your family is seriously ill and you need help, largely because the hospital deems their lives negligible. guidance or support, compassionate help is available from Hayim Whether a baby should be put on a feeding tube or on a respirator is a Aruchim’s 24-Hour hotline at 347 578 8200. For more information heart-wrenching decision for families to make. But for each case a please visit their website at www.chayimaruchim.com. halachic advisor must be consulted. This also applies to terminal cancer patients, regardless of the patient’s age. “Hospitals are becoming more and more reluctant to provide care to those patients that they feel are not going to benefit to their standards,” Dr. Matalon says.

Needless to say, the huge responsibilities associated with these If you would like to make a contribution to help support the Sephardic efforts are emotionally taxing. There is a lot of emotional burnout Division of Hayim Aruchim – please make your tax deductible check to: and these four halachic experts are eagerly waiting for three other Hayim Aruchim recruits to finish their training and take on some of the responsibility.

Tax ID 45-4549986 There are huge advantages to having Sephardi rabbis and doctors Mail your contribution to: serving their own communities, but there are disadvantages as well.

Rabbi Raymond Beyda “We know these patients and their families, if not personally, we know 408 Avenue O their cousins or uncles. We appreciate what they are going through, Brooklyn NY 11235 and we don’t want them to go through it,” Rabbi Beyda says.

SUPPORT HAYIM ARUCHIM

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AV - ELUL 5777 AUGUST 2017

37

JOLIE GREIFF

Sefer Torah Dedication Honors Rabbi Edmond Nahum

“T

he Torah dedication ceremony this past summer was a spectacular event!” recalls Mr. Jack Rahmey, an active community member in Deal, N.J. “It was wonderfully festive and a real kiddush Hashem.”

The man responsible for this special community event, Harry Adjmi, is well known in the Syrian community for his communal involvement, especially with charitable causes. Adjmi was joined by his wife Alice and their four children, Amin, Bobby, Lillian, and Raymond in sponsoring the sefer Torah dedication in honor of Rabbi Edmond Nahum, beloved rabbi of the Deal Synagogue for the past 37 years.

Rahmey noted that although most families of the Deal community live there only during the summer months, Rabbi Edmond Nahum is the one who holds down the fort all year long. He is known to be a brilliant scholar, and a respected leader of the synagogue, which is the center of the community in Deal.

“The Adjmi family wanted to show our appreciation for Rabbi Nahum,” Harry stated. “We love the rabbi and believe that he deserved this honor. As Jews, we have the tradition to adhere to our Torah values, and to follow our rabbis. This is especially true in the Syrian community where we show tremendous respect and hakarat hatov (gratitude), to our rabbis. Rabbi Nahum has earned the love and respect of all our community members.”

Large posters announcing the Torah dedication were put up in all the synagogues in the community, and close to 400 people attended the celebration.

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Rabbi Edmond Nahum dancing with the new sefer Torah.

Rabbi Choueka celebrating the event with Rabbi Nahum.

Rabbi Ozeri and Harry Adjmi dancing with the Torah inside Deal Synagogue.

The event began with a festive breakfast at Harry and Alice's home on Parker Avenue. From there a police escort preceded the crowd, who danced to traditional Syrian and Hebrew music with the new sefer Torah. It was carried under a canopy during the two block processional from Parker Avenue to the Deal Synagogue on Norwood Avenue.

Harry exclaimed, “It was a wonderful sight! Only in America! Where else would they close off the streets and have a police escort? We were walking and dancing for almost an hour, and the policemen were great. I thanked them and they said, ‘It was our pleasure!’

“The Syrian communities of Brooklyn and Deal are renowned for their charitable giving, and for their support of Israel. With Hashem's help, we worked hard, built strong businesses, and we keep giving and giving to many worthy causes. It was wonderful to see the community together on such a wonderful day.”

When the crowd arrived at the synagogue, all the shul’s sifre Torah were carried out to greet the new one, amidst joyful singing and dancing.

After much spirited dancing, the new sefer Torah led all the others back into the synagogue.

Hazzanim from all the local synagogues joined in leading the singing. Harry Adjmi was the first speaker. He introduced Rabbi Nahum, and thanked him for his unceasing dedication to the synagogue for so many years.

Rabbi Nahum spoke, and thanked The Adjmi family. He said, “This is not for me, this is for Hashem. A sefer Torah is a wonderful thing, but know that we also have many talmidei hachamim who are like walking sifre Torah. Today we are honoring Hashem.”

Jack Rahmey concludes, “It was a magnificent morning and very heartwarming. Everybody was there.

There was such a beautiful crowd joined together to adorn the new sefer Torah and to give honor to Rabbi Nahum. It gave everyone a great feeling to be part of such a wonderful community.”

ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

39

THANKS FOR MAKING US THE NUMBER

Partnering For Positive Changes In The Shidduch Process > P. 46

Kislev 5777 December 2016

Tevet - Shevat 5776 January 2016

Volume XV No. 1

Volume XV Number 12

Volume XV No. 4

Volume XVI Number 3

Volume XVI Number 1

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour > P. 16

Elul 5777 October 2016

Tishrei - Cheshvan 5776 October 2015

Elul 5776 September 2016

COMMUNITY

Volume XIII No. 12

Don’t Get Stuck With A Lemon – How To Pick The Right Etrog > P. 36

Elul 5774 September 2014

"Bringing

Hope

through

Torah"

Hacham Yom Tov Yedid ‫זצ״ל‬ Last Chief Rabbi of Halab

CRIMINALS

BEWARE

For 25 years, the Flatbush Shomrim Safety Patrol has been safeguarding our community from crime. Recently, a number of volunteers from our community have joined the ranks, and the force is focusing even more on our neighborhoods.

DONALD TRUMP

A Local Call… to the Heavens Rabbi Eli J. Mansour

Lessons From The Honeycomb Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Words of The Honeycomb Lessons From

The Miracle of Nature Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Words of The Miracle of Nature

BEWARE

DONALD TRUMP

The High Holiday Shopping List Fallacy Rabbi Eli J Mansour

Sefer Torah Dedicated in Honor of Three Sons of Israel Sarina Roffé

In the Face of Terror: Protecting Our Yeshivot and Securing Brooklyn Community Facilities Sarina Roffé

The Hand of Hashem: A 9/11 Survivor Shares His Story Special High Holiday Features

A Community Grows in Brooklyn: 1945 - 1965 The fifth of seven documentary films produced by Joseph J. Sitt and the Sephardic Heritage Museum.

SPECIAL WEDDING FEATURES

Achieving Serenity Through Faith Page 36

SPECIAL TRAVEL FEATURES

SPECIAL WEDDING FEATURES

Page 36 Through Faith Achieving Serenity

SPECIAL TRAVEL FEATURES

Sarina Roffé Brooklyn Community Facilities Protecting Our Yeshivot and Securing In the Face of Terror:

best presidents ever for Jews May yet turn out to be one of the

have joined the ranks, and the force is focusing even more on our neighborhoods. community from crime. Recently, a number of volunteers from our community For 25 years, the Flatbush Shomrim Safety Patrol has been safeguarding our

CRIMINALS

SAVE THE BEAT Turning Illness Into Action Dave Gordon Dave Gordon Into Action Turning Illness SAVE THE BEAT

With the community’s ongoing support, the Renewal organization has continued to save the lives of those in desperate need of a kidney transplant.

Why Does the Torah Require us to Get Married?

Rabbi Eli J. Mansour

Combating the High Costs of Tuition Dave Gordon

Grateful for Every Blessing: The Long Life of Rosette Kassin Kelly Jemal Massry

the Gift ofof LLife

In an exclusive interview, Nazi hunter extraordinaire, Steven Rambam, reveals what has been done, what could have been done, and what is currently being done, in the hunt for Nazi war criminals.

May yet turn out to be one of the best presidents ever for Jews

Kelly Jemal Massry of Rosette Kassin Blessing: The Long Life Grateful for Every

Celebrating

NAZI HUNTER

Endorsed by the Klan, widely derided by the media as a racist, and having lost the Jewish vote by 50 points

Joseph J. Sitt and the Sephardic Heritage Museum.

The fifth of seven documentary films produced by A Community Grows in Brooklyn: 1945 - 1965

Dave Gordon Combating the High Costs of Tuition

Special High Holiday Features Survivor Shares His Story The Hand of Hashem: A 9/11

Sarina Roffé Honor of Three Sons of Israel Sefer Torah Dedicated in

Rabbi Eli J. Mansour A Local Call… to the Heavens

Rabbi Eli J. Mansour Why Does the Torah Require us to Get Married?

Rabbi Eli J Mansour The High Holiday Shopping List Fallacy

desperate need of a kidney transplant. organization has continued to save the lives of those in With the community’s ongoing support, the Renewal

the Gift ofof LLife

and what is currently being done, in the hunt for Nazi war criminals.

Rambam, reveals what has been done, what could have been done, In an exclusive interview, Nazi hunter extraordinaire, Steven

racist, and having lost the Jewish vote by 50 points Endorsed by the Klan, widely derided by the media as a

NAZI HUNTER

Last Chief Rabbi of Halab

Torah"

Celebrating

Hacham Yom Tov Yedid ‫זצ״ל‬

through

Hope

Elul 5776 September 2016

COMMUNITY

1 .oN VX emuloV

21 rebmuN VX emuloV

Tishrei - Cheshvan 5776 October 2015

Words of Rabbi Eli J. Mansour > P. 16

Partnering For Positive Changes In The Shidduch Process > P. 46 Don’t Get Stuck With A Lemon – How To Pick The Right Etrog > P. 36

SEPHARDIC MAGAZINE For over sixteen years now, Community Magazine has been the most widely read Sephardic publication in the world! Based in New York and reaching Deal, Lakewood, Long Island, Miami, Los Angeles, Jerusalem, and over 200 other cities throughout the world, Community is read by the entire family and provides advertisers and sponsors with maximum exposure. Plus, for many families, Community is the only magazine they bring into their homes. Maximize your advertising dollar and run your next campaign with the most widely circulated Sephardic Magazine in the world.

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ELLEN KAMARAS

Finding Your Spark

in the New Year 5778

I

n just three weeks we will be bringing in the New Year 5778.

How does that make you feel? Since I changed careers from CPA to life and career coach, the thought of the New Year fills me with energy and visions of new possibilities.

I am so grateful that Hashem offers us the incredible opportunity to renew our spirit and spark as we prepare for Rosh Hashanah. The Jewish New Year is about new beginnings and provides us with a chance to take a fresh look at ourselves.

“Finding one’s spark” has become a popular exercise for children and adults. It can include: discovering what motivates you, what gets you up in the morning, what lights you up, what gives meaning to your life, and what drives you. Your spark is that unique facet that defines who you are as a person, or your “essence.” Your essence is who you are at your core. What is your essence?

Jews believe that there is a spark which lives in our soul – in Yiddish it is called “Das pintele Yid” – the little point or spark of a Jew. The Zohar describes our soul or essence as Hashem’s breath. Therefore, as spiritual beings we believe our spark is our soul, which is our special essence that we receive from Hashem.

We do not need to create it, but we can take the opportunity in the New Year and every year to breathe new life into it.

How would you like to breathe new life into your spark, soul, daily routine, your relationship with friends, family, and Hashem?

Here are some tools to try and questions to ask yourself to help you re-examine and refresh that Jewish spark that is in your core. These strategies can also aid in infusing the upcoming hagim and year with passion, purpose, and positivity.

TOOLS

1. Pick a word or phrase for the year to help you create a positive change for the New Year – Can it be your guiding compass? Let’s say you chose “Let it go.” That might help you remember that you cannot control everything and need to let go of things from the past, including slights or hurts from relationships and disappointments, both professional and personal. Your compass can keep you looking forward to new possibilities and opportunities as opposed to looking back.

2. Practice stillness – In today’s world, it’s a challenge to be still or present. We are constantly adding to that to-do list, often feeling behind. Try to take a breath when you are having a difficult time, are feeling overwhelmed, or having painful thoughts. Being still allows you to refresh and hear your own thoughts and helps you focus on what is important right now.

3. Dream big – Think big about what you want to achieve. Visualize what you want your life to look like. Ask yourself big questions which get you thinking.

4. Declutter your mind – Reduce the mental chaos that prevents you from focusing and having a fulfilling life. Try to eliminate worries, anxieties, and negative thoughts, and replace them with positive ones.

Concentrate on your strengths and victories. Let go of that mental clutter that is keeping you in the past. Stop multi-tasking and carve out some time to devote to one task or goal that is a high priority for you.

5. Stretch yourself, get out of your comfort zone – Try doing something new or a bit hard. We grow the most when we stretch ourselves. Start small; read a book about a subject you know nothing about.

Shana Tova!

QUESTIONS TO GET YOUR POSITIVE ENERGY FLOWING: Is there something you are on fire about?

Example: My job, my family, my religion, my volunteer work.

What is your unique spark or strength?

Example: My warmth, my compassion, my nurturing nature.

Is there something you would like to do this year to create a better you?

Example: Be more patient with my siblings, do more hesed.

Is there a specific goal you have for the New Year?

Example: Avoid speaking lashon hara.

Is there something new you want to bring into your life for the New Year?

Example: More family time.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.

Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

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Traditional Family Recipes

SARINA ROFFÉ

TO BEGIN A YEAR FULL OF BLESSINGS Over the years, I have combined my journalism background and love of Sephardic history with a passion for cooking and entertaining.

I

am the granddaughter of Estherina Salem, the first caterer in the Syrian Jewish community in Bensonhurst.

Esther could not read or write, so she cooked from feel, touch and taste. Salem Catering was based in her backyard in a garage converted to a kitchen – a backyard kitchen. In the 1940s-50s, there were few catering halls in the community. You went to synagogue to get married or have a bar mitzvah, then went back to the house for the party.

Esther and her husband Selim catered hundreds of life cycle events in people’s homes. People tell me even today that I cook like my grandmother, and I am honored to continue her legacy.

As I began to raise my own children, I saw the importance of sharing and passing on that legacy to my children.

I needed to write down the recipes for the next generation. Fortunately, when my mother, Renee Salem Missry, got married, she sat with my grandmother and wrote down the ingredients and measurements. With the help of my aunts Sally Elbaz and Viviane Salem, I wrote the directions. These recipes have been handed down from mother to daughter for centuries.

In this feature, I will be sharing the recipes my family prepared for the special berachot for Rosh Hashanah.

There are many ways to prepare these recipes. You can prepare the lubya as vegetarian, not meat. You can make leeks into mini egeh or simply cook them with onions. People prepare krafseeya and sylit in different ways.

There is no right or wrong way to cook.

There are Syrian, Moroccan, Persian, and Lebanese varieties of the same or similar foods. Cooking is an adventure, and with these ancient recipes I hope you will renew the traditions of our rich Sephardic past.

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APPLES in HONEY

Of course, you start the meal with the berachot for challah, then apples in honey. We eat honey so that our year will be filled with sweetness and joy. No recipe needed here, but I recommend trying different types of honey. Honey comes in many different flavors and we have tasted the most interesting ones collected from around the world. This year we picked up one in Portugal when I was speaking at a conference on Sephardim in Braganza. We look forward to using it on Rosh Hashanah.

LEEK

Leek is used as one of the berachot so that our enemies and all our evil-wishers may be destroyed. I have seen leek prepared so many ways. My mother-in-law simply put it in her chicken soup and took it out, chopped it up, and put it on the table for the beracha.

I am sensitive to vegetarians, so I prepare the leeks, egeh style. They can be frozen in advance and reheated. You can also bake it in a pan, instead of frying them, to reduce the fat content.

Ingredients:

• 3 bunches of leeks • 3 tbs. oil • 1 onion, chopped • ½ cup fresh parsley, washed, checked, and chopped

Directions:

• 3 eggs • 2 tbs. matzo meal • 1 tbs. salt • ½ tsp. pepper • Vegetable oil for frying

1. Cut off ends of leeks and peel off hard outer shells. Slice the long way to quarter each leek and then slice. Soak and clean leek in cold water.

2. Heat oil in saucepan and sauté chopped onion until translucent.

Add chopped leeks and sauté 5 minutes.

3. In a bowl add: leek onion mixture, parsley, eggs, matzo meal, salt, and pepper.

Mix together.

4. In skillet, heat oil, drop by tablespoons into oil. When edges are brown, flip to cook on other side. As they fluff in the center, remove to a paper towel to soak up excess oil.

5. Can be frozen at this point on parchment paper-lined tray. Store in a Ziploc bag.

6. Serve warm.

CANDIED SPAGHETTI SQUASH OR HALU

The next beracha calls for a gourd, and the prayer is to ask that Hashem will tear up our evil-decrees and that our good deeds will be read before Hashem. Our family has always used spaghetti squash as the gourd. After cooking, it is very stringy, like spaghetti. One nice thing about this recipe, you can freeze it and use it for several years.

Lubya, or black-eyed peas, is one of those Syrian comfort foods. While black-eyed peas can be prepared year-round, they are one of the berachot for Rosh Hashanah. We ask that our good deeds will be as plentiful as the black-eyed beans. My mother and grandmother always made lubya with meat, but I prefer to make it vegetarian.

I generally make a batch and also serve it as one of the dishes on the holiday.

KRAFSEEYA (Swiss Chard)

Swiss chard is used as a beracha so that our enemies will be removed. Chopped spinach can be used instead of Swiss chard, or even kale. To prepare this vegetarian style, simply leave out the meat.

Ingredients

• 2 tbs. oil • 1 large onion, chopped • 1 stalk celery, chopped • 1 clove garlic, minced • 1 14 oz. can chick peas, drained • ½ lb. stew meat or veal cubes • 1 pkg. frozen chopped spinach or 1 lb. Swiss chard • 1 tsp. kosher salt • ½ tsp. white pepper

Directions:

1. Heat oil in 3-qt. saucepan over medium heat. Add onion, celery, and garlic, and sauté 3-4 minutes, until beginning to brown on the edges.

2. Add meat and cook together on low fire for 30 minutes, until meat is brown and soft.

3. Add chickpeas, spinach, salt, and pepper.

4. Note: If using fresh spinach, kale or Swiss chard, wash thoroughly and dry on paper towels. Add in bunches and mix quickly.

The fresh greens will wilt quickly.

5. Mix thoroughly and simmer 15 minutes.

6. Serve warm.

LUBYA (Black-Eyed Peas)

Ingredients: 1 spaghetti squash Syrup

• 3 cups sugar • 1 cup water

• 1 small lemon, squeezed Dash of salt

Directions:

1. Spray cookie sheet with cooking spray.

2. Cut spaghetti squash in half. Scoop out seeds and place cut side down on baking sheet. Bake one hour in preheated 350 degree oven.

3. Mix the sugar, water, lemon and salt in a saucepan and simmer. Cook on low flame until thick.

4. Scoop out the squash with a fork, so that it is like spaghetti. Squeeze out all the liquid.

5. Add squash to sugar water and mix.

Store in jar in refrigerator or freezer.

Ingredients:

• 2 tbs. vegetable oil • 6 cloves garlic, finely chopped • ½ lb. flank or veal yadiem • 1 pkg. frozen black-eyed peas • 2 tbs. tomato paste • 1 heaping tsp. kosher salt • ½ tsp. white pepper

Directions:

1. In 3-quart saucepan, heat oil on medium heat. Add garlic and slightly brown, then add cubed meat.

Add enough water to cover the meat, and simmer 1 hour, covered.

Note: to make this vegetarian, leave out the meat and reduce cooking time.

2. Add black-eyed peas, tomato paste, salt, and white pepper.

3. Cook for another ½ hour. If it looks dry, add a little more water.

POMEGRANATE

You must also have pomegranate seeds for berachot. Pomegranate seeds are used as we ask that our good deeds will be as plentiful as the seeds of a pomegranate.

SHEEP’S HEAD

DATES

Dates are sweet. We say the beracha so that all our enemies may be destroyed.

Sephardim also say berachot over the head of a sheep – so that we shall always be in the forefront, and not in the rear, in all the good that we do. I generally serve sliced tongue, but I have also seen people use the head of a fish.

Community member Sarina Roffé is author of Branching Out from Sepharad (NY, Sephardic Heritage Project, 2017); Backyard Kitchen: Mediterranean Salads (NY, Sephardic Heritage Project, 2016), as well as hundreds of articles published in journals, newspapers and magazines.

ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

45

DAVE GORDON

Is Organic Food Really Better?

Y

ou walk into the supermarket produce section, and see two aisles with different choices: To the right, “regular” fruits and vegetables. To the left, organic. Which ones are better, and why?

Is everything labeled “organic” healthier, locally grown, and free of nasty chemical pesticides?

One might assume so. But that assumption just may not be justified.

to 23 percent more to buy it. One might conclude that organic food must be inherently good if so many believe it is better than nonorganic food products.

Bamboozled?

For one industry scientist, however, the organics movement – and the organics regulatory system – are steeped in what he calls Consumer Perceptions a “bamboozle.”

The United States Department of Agriculture (USDA) is the Mischa Popoff was a former organics farming and facilities tester government agency that oversees organic certification. It increased from 1998 - 2004, certified by the USDA and CIFA. He claims to have its organic foods budget exponentially over the last ten years from inspected more than five hundred organic farms and processing $1.5 million to nearly ten million dollars. facilities. He reports that after he discovered widespread fraud and The government has been pushing lately for improved quality negligence, he decided to stop inspecting altogether. standards. In 1998 the American Consumers Union (ACU) performed Today he is a policy advisor for the Heartland Institute, a member of random tests on a cross-section of organic foods. Twenty five the American Agricultural Law Association, and a research associate percent were discovered to contain dangerous substances. That for the Frontier Centre for Public Policy. He is also an outspoken spurred the ACU to urge the USDA to critic of the organic food industry’s require rigorous testing in the American According to two separate studies by bureaucracy. organic program. Since that time, the He was one of about 270 organic two separate divisions of the USDA, inspectors globally, and says that the term “organic” is tightly regulated in North America, as a legal term. conducted in 2010-2011 and 2015 on US government’s guidelines “were a Organic food in North America pretty good standard.” However, Popoff is “certified” by the Canadian Food organic pesticide testing, 43 percent claims, “They’re just being ignored. It’s Inspection Agency (CFIA) and the USDA, not so much the testing. It’s the lack of samples contained prohibited both highly respected around the world. pesticides, as well as fecal matter. of testing.”

Researchers at Cornell University It might come as a surprise to many, observed that people perceived organic but up until recently, the government foods quite favorably. They asked study subjects which of two demanded no official direct oversight of organically produced identical items they would prefer, the one labeled “organic” or the foods. That changed when Obama-appointed Miles McEvoy of one that was “regular.” Not only did subjects say they believed the USDA’s National Organic Program made testing mandatory in 2017. “organic” was more nutritious, but also proclaimed they’d pay 16 46

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So does that mean organic farms are scrutinized and examined to ensure they abide by government standards?

Not necessarily. McEvoy required inspectors to test organic farms only five percent of the time.

“That’s a huge bamboozle,” claims Popoff. “If they only tested Olympic athletes (for doping) five percent of the time, that would just be a joke.”

What’s worse, Popoff asserts, Mischa Popoff those organics tests are covering only Mischa Popoff, former organics farming and facilities tester, pesticides, never looking for dangerous claims that the organic industry pathogens from uncomposted manure. is not regulated strictly enough, and therefore believes the term Uncomposted manure can contain “organic” is virtually meaningless. high levels of pathogens and pesticide residues. Composting manure kills pathogens and degrades some chemical contaminants.

“The USDA does not require field testing for possible fecal contaminants on the organic crops it certifies, even though such testing costs less than $25 per episode,” explains Popoff.

According to two separate studies by two separate divisions of the USDA, conducted in 2010-2011 and 2015 on organic pesticide testing, 43 percent of samples contained prohibited pesticides, as well as fecal matter.

The “Honor System”

The organics bureaucracy relies heavily on the honor system – that is, on files from farmers themselves.

“You keep records of everything from seeds to harvest, and as long as your records don’t indicate that you’ve broken the rules, then that’s it. You are organic. It’s really that crazy,” Popoff claims.

Popoff is also troubled that testing is not done routinely in the fields; rather, it is most often done on produce that has already been picked. He notes that additives or chemical treatments dissipate after the produce has been picked. “That’s like testing an Olympic athlete a month after the games, after they fly home to their home country,” Popoff claims. “Testing is all in the way you do it.”

Popoff adds, “In the old days, there were some really horrible chemicals used on farms and they didn’t dissipate, or didn’t dissipate rapidly. Now, there’s Round-up, the most horrible herbicide used according to organic activists, and it only dissipates in twenty-eight days.”

Even the USDA, in two separate studies, found forbidden pesticides in forty percent of crops using end-product testing.

“So, you can just imagine how bad it would be if they were testing in the fields. That’s a bamboozle,” Popoff says.

Popoff concludes that the USDA, “doesn’t have a scientific process” that guarantees safe organic food.

Are “Natural” Pesticides Safer?

Some “natural” pesticides approved for organic use – for example, copper sulphate and pyrethrin, can actually be more toxic than the synthetic ones.

A 1996 study revealed that copper sulphate resulted in liver disease in vineyard sprayers in France.

With pyrethrin, a 2002 study showed nearly a fourfold increase in leukemia was found among farmers who handled it, relative to those who had not, although pyrethrin is generally considered to have low toxicity for humans.

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Popoff is critical of the USDA for how it regulates its organics program. This regulation falls under the USDA’s Agricultural Marketing Service, and according to Popoff, it has no connection to the department’s food safety, research, inspection, nutrition, or risk management services.

“None of its staffers are responsible for finding fraud, field-testing for safety, or recalling unsafe food,” he says.

The USDA itself does not do any inspections; rather, the job is left to private and cooperative certifying agents – all paid for by the organic farms.

Things get a little sketchy, he says, because “you aren’t going to pay them if they upset you. They are going to lose you as a client.”

What’s more, certifiers can benefit financially from the farms they inspect.

Nearly 80 certifying agents that grant USDA organic certification to farmers and processors can receive up to three percent of gross revenue from their clients. That might not sound like much, but in a $40 billion a year industry, it can add up.

Popoff states that inspectors do not even have to do spot checks.

They usually give several weeks’ notice to farmers for visits – giving them enough time to maneuver (or out-maneuver) their chemical use. However, according to Cornucopia Institute, unannounced inspections are performed on certified organic farms. According to USDA regulations, “Additional inspections may be announced or unannounced at the discretion of the certifying agent.”

Despite others’ claiming that proper regulation is in place, Popoff retorts, “What’s happening in the organic industry – no one’s managing it. It’s a free for all.”

Made In China

One may think that by buying organic, at least we are helping domestic farms, some of whom are making sincere attempts to stay true to “clean” farming practices.

The statistics show a different story. In 2012 only 0.7 percent of US land is organic farms. Yet, organic sales are over four percent of retail.

“You just do the quick math. We must be importing 80 percent of the (organic) food from overseas,” Popoff says.

“Most people will be floored if they found out that those vegetables are from China or Turkey. Fresh fruit, like apples, are coming from China. This is sort of normal in the regular food industry. We know it’s a ‘global market,’ but one of the facets of the organic industry is presumed to be local – if not local, then at least domestic.”

Risks for Consumers

The uptick in imported foods, he adds, not-so-coincidentally aligns with the number of food-borne illnesses from produce.

If there were produce that had particularly high probability of chemical additives, irrespective of certification, Popoff believes they would be organic cherries, peaches, and strawberries.

“I don’t want to impugn farmers’ integrity, but you have such a high chance that those are fraudulent. Because it’s hard to grow those, even just regularly. It’s next to impossible for them to be organic,” he notes.

“The Environmental Working Group will advise you to buy organic strawberries because they use so much chemicals on regular strawberries. If it takes that much chemicals to grow a regular strawberry, how am I supposed to believe this farmer did it? How did he pull that off? You can have a one acre crop of strawberries and it’s worth a half a million dollars. You think he’s going to stand there and watch as a microscopic bug burrows its way into the entire crop?”

Popoff’s hope is that inspectors “finally start using science to ensure synthetic nitrates, phosphates, herbicides, insecticides, fungicides, antibiotics, and growth hormones” are monitored properly.

Introducing

Supermarket Regulations – Or Lack Thereof

However, even if farms are inspected to the letter, grocers and supermarkets unfortunately are not beholden to any standardization.

“Everyone else is inspected – even the warehouses and distributors. Grocers are not inspected the same way restaurants are inspected by health inspectors. There are no unannounced inspections of a grocery store,” he says.

Popoff adds a scathing accusation. “Sadly, any grocery retailer selling organic food is only able to do so thanks to a combination of ineptitude, ignorance, and fraud, aided and abetted by the authority of the federal government, all at taxpayer expense.”

Still, he claims that he is, in fact, pro-organic. What bothers him is that the industry is not regulated strictly enough, and therefore he believes that the term “organic” is virtually meaningless.

Popoff noted that a 2012 study was conducted at Stanford University's Center for Health Policy. This study did not find strong evidence that organic foods are more nutritious or carry fewer health risks than conventional alternatives, although it did conclude that consumption of organic foods can reduce one’s risk of pesticide exposure.

Buyer Beware

Consumers are advised: caveat emptor, let the buyer beware. Although shoppers seeing an “organically grown” label might assume that the product is free from harmful pesticides and is grown locally, this is not always the case.

Hopefully, more stringent regulation in the future will make the “organic” label as trusted as the proper kashrut certification we find on kosher food products, whose supervision we trust wholeheartedly.

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of From The Filesthe BET

THE CASE

DIN

UNWARRANTED DEFAMATION AND LEGAL FEES

Rabbi Max Sutton, Rosh Bet Din Aram Soba, Jerusalem, Israel

Alan and Steven were equal partners in numerous real estate holdings in the Tri-State area. Unfortunately, the two began to quarrel over relatively petty issues and, as a result, they decided to terminate their partnership. The transition process was far from smooth, and a full-fledged dispute broke out regarding their respective shares in one of their properties.

Alan immediately reached out to our Bet Din and summonsed Steven to resolve the matter according to Torah law. Steven did not reply to our Bet Din, but rather filed suit against Alan in civil court. Alan reluctantly hired an attorney and prepared for the upcoming hearing. In the interim, since the two were relatively high profile personalities, the news of their recent dispute reached the media. The undue publicity somewhat tainted their otherwise fine reputations, as the allegations and news coverage were quite nasty. The exorbitant legal fees involved were only the beginning of an anticipated multi-year dispute.

Finally, family and friends of the two intervened, and successfully persuaded Steven to discontinue the legal proceedings in civil court. Instead, Steven agreed to comply with Alan’s original motion to resolve the matter in Bet Din. Immediately after the two signed a legally binding arbitration agreement in Bet Din, Alan demanded reimbursement for the unwarranted legal fees he incurred because of Steven’s lawsuit in civil court. Furthermore, Alan requested compensation for the public defamation of character caused by the lawsuit, not to mention the terrible embarrassment Steven caused by lobbing false allegations in a public forum.

Steven responded that as a resident of New York he maintained the legal right to go to civil court, and therefore should not be penalized for taking that recourse. He only agreed to come to Bet Din to appease his family and friends, and he still believed civil court would have been a viable option.

Is Alan entitled to reimbursement from Steven? How should the Bet Din rule, and why?

TORAH LAW According to the ruling of the Shulhan Aruch it is forbidden

by Torah law to adjudicate a dispute in civil court. This restriction applies even if both litigants agree to do so, since Torah law is not subject to the will of people. Those who violate this law are deemed as “severely rebellious to the teachings of Moshe Rabbenu,” and monies that were awarded in most instances need to be returned.

In short, a Jew is required to adhere to the precepts of the Torah regardless of his citizenship or country of residence. A Bet Din or alternatively community arbitrators are the halachically acceptable viable options for resolving a dispute.

Nowadays, in instances in which one is in contempt of Bet Din by refusing to appear to the call of a claimant, a Bet Din will give permission to the claimant to proceed in civil court. This leniency is extended to provide the claimant with a financial recourse, since in our time a Bet Din is unable to enforce compliance. Once permission is extended by a Bet Din to proceed in civil court, the claimant is halachically entitled to collect from the defendant any additional legal costs he incurred in doing so. The additional legal fees incurred by a claimant because of the defendant’s refusal to appear in Bet Din are viewed as damages which are collectable. Additionally, if the defendant was acquitted in civil court, he is nevertheless required to appear in Bet Din to verify that his acquittal is not contrary to Torah law. Generally people who ignore

a Bet Din are uninterested in returning the damages they caused to the other party, and they usually will not agree to conduct a retrial in Bet Din. Nevertheless, they are liable and accountable. Money owed is viewed as a form of theft, and needless to say, the same applies to money collected contrary to Torah law.

Although rarely does a Bet Din impose a penalty or fine on a litigant, in instances in which one publicly embarrasses another he is required to compensate the victim. This penalty is applicable for all types of verbal embarrassment and public defamation of character caused by slander. Often such slander causes irreparable damage, as the reputation and credibility of a victim is permanently tainted. When the public defamation is presented to the media, the consequences of such actions are severe. For not only is the victim tainted, but also the name of Hashem is terribly desecrated when Jews wrongfully expose each other before the nations of the world. Additionally, the reputation of the community is flawed when family and friends seek vengeance of each other in a public forum. Hence, a Bet Din will sometimes resort to punishment which can include the forfeiting of communal membership, thereby restricting access to community functions conducted in the synagogue. At times, subject to the discretion of a Bet Din, the penalty is limited to a monetary fine, providing the offender expresses deep remorse for his actions.

VERDICT Two Strikes Our Bet Din ruled that Steven is liable for the undue legal costs that Alan sustained. Steven is also accountable for the public defamation of character he caused. As mentioned in Torah law, regardless of citizenship or country of residence, a Jew is required to resolve all matters of contention in a Bet Din or with community arbitrators. Alan reached out to our Bet Din to resolve the matter; however, Steven ignored his Torah obligation, and proceeded in civil court. By failing to comply with Torah law, Steven caused considerable damage to Alan, who incurred exorbitant fees, which Steven is required by law to reimburse.

Furthermore, and more severely, Steven flagrantly violated Torah law by reporting false allegations to the media, to take vengeance against Alan. Not only did Steven victimize Alan, he is guilty of desecrating Hashem’s name by exposing the alleged wrongdoings of a fellow Jew before the nations of the world. Additionally, he brought disgrace to his community, by flawing its otherwise fine reputation in a public forum.

Upon Steven’s signing of a binding of arbitration, our Bet Din will proceed to judge the case fairly and justly. However, Steven will be held accountable to financially compensate Alan for his misconduct. Although Steven’s payment only satisfies his obligation to Alan, nevertheless, since he expressed sincere remorse for his behavior, our Bet Din chose not to impose any further communal penalties.

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COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

In all publications of the Files of the Bet Din, the names and details of the case are changed in order to protect the privacy of the parties involved.

YOU

BE THE

JUDGE! A FIERY SUMMER RENTAL

Daniel rented from Richard a summer bungalow in the mountains for the first four weeks of August. After finding out that the bungalow was uninsured, Daniel decided to take out a complete insurance policy for the property. Without prior consent, Daniel instructed his insurance agent to register the policy under the name of Richard, the homeowner, and prepaid the entire sum. On August 28th, the last day of his stay, Daniel moved out of the bungalow as agreed. Thereafter, during the last two days of August an electrical fire broke out in the bungalow, burning Richard’s property to the ground.

Not long after the fire, the insurance company mailed a check to Richard, the policyholder, for his financial loss. Daniel, who was immediately aware of the payment since he facilitated the insurance claim, requested that Richard forward the insurance payout to him. Daniel claimed that since he both ordered and paid for the policy, he is the rightful owner of its proceeds. In Bet Din, Daniel stated emphatically that Richard is not entitled to payment since he left his property uninsured.

Richard counterclaimed that the policy was in his name, and since it was his home that burnt down, he is not required to forward to Daniel anything other than the cost of the policy.

Furthermore, Richard pointed out that the fire broke out after Daniel’s lease ended.

IS RICHARD REQUIRED TO FORWARD THE INSURANCE MONEY TO DANIEL? OR IS DANIEL NOT ENTITLED TO THE FUNDS? HOW SHOULD THE BET DIN RULE, AND WHY?

YOU BE THE JUDGE and send your response to

YouJudge@CommunityM.com Verdicts – and the accompanying rationale – will be reviewed by the Rosh Bet Din. The first three correct submissions received before the deadline will

win a $50 gift certificate to a Community Magazine advertiser!

Correct entries will receive honorable mention in the next issue when the Rosh Bet Din’s verdict is printed.

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ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS

Y

ad Ezra V’Shulamit is a humanitarian organization that helps needy families in Israel fight poverty with self-respect.

Rabbi Aryeh Lurie is the organization’s founder and director. Lurie knew hunger intimately as a child. His sensitivity to extreme poverty helped define the mission of Yad Ezra V'Shulamit. Lurie explains, "Once, in a food line for free potatoes, someone gave me a broken toy. They were so happy, but I felt awful. Now, I am grateful for the lesson. I learned how not to give to the poor. Children from needy families are extremely sensitive to their plight. Their self-esteem and self-respect are easily damaged. We do everything possible to ensure our children do not feel less than others. Many people regard the poor as lower, dirtier, or less intelligent,” continues Lurie. “Once I heard an employee raising his voice to someone applying for a food basket. He was fired immediately. Our clients are already in pain.

One must never say or do anything to make it worse.”

In keeping with his philosophy, Lurie sets up an annual 'store' with new coats and school supplies. The children can choose, as if they were in a shop. Why? As Lurie says, "It is not enough to give. You have to care enough to give in a way that protects a person's pride.”

Despite Lurie’s own family’s poverty, he saw his mother cooking hot soup for Shabbat every week, and giving the first portion to a family in need. He named the organization in honor of his parents, Ezra and Shulamit. They taught him the values of charity and kindness that are the basis of the organization, which focuses on helping individuals overcome the challenges of poverty and achieve financial stability.

The Organization

COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

that the government was failing to act on poverty by better use of taxes and by improving the welfare system. Tefilla Buxbaum, Director of Resource Development of Yad Ezra V’Shulamit commented, “How can we let Jewish children go hungry? It is not Jewish.”

Yad Ezra V’Shulamit needs your support to provide food and critical services to our brothers and sisters in Israel. We cannot sit idly by while the Israeli government figures out the changes needed to help the poor.

“If your brother becomes impoverished and loses the ability to support himself with you, you must come to his aid, help him survive….”

“Start-up Nation Israel” has more companies on the NASDAQ than those of Europe, Korea, Japan, Singapore, China, and India all combined! However, this success belies recent statistics on poverty in Israel. One third of Israeli children live below the poverty line and report feeling Vayikra hungry on a daily basis.

The Taub Center for Social Policy Studies recently released a study citing that Israel’s long-term economic growth is not sustainable, and that Israel has the highest poverty rates among its OECD (Organization for Economic Co-operation and Development) counterparts. In 2015 the National Insurance Institute reported that one in five Israelis live in poverty. Children (30%) and the elderly (22%) suffer the most.

There are more than 1.7 million poor Israelis, 22% of the population. The concentration of poverty and high unemployment in Israel exists among two minority populations, haredi (ultra-orthodox) Jews (49% in 2015) and Israeli Arabs (53% in 2015). The study found 54

Breaking the Cycle of Poverty... One Child at a Time.

Services and Projects

Founded in 1998, Yad Ezra V’Shulamit began by delivering food baskets to 50 local needy families. Today it is a nationwide organization. 2,500 food baskets are distributed weekly to families all over Israel.

Yad Ezra V’Shulamit’s other projects include after school children’s centers, where they feed over 500 children every day, clubs for teens at risk, a job desk, emergency relief, and more. Almost 100,000 people currently benefit 25:35 from these services.

Founder Lurie vowed he would not let even one Jewish child in Israel go hungry. Today he provides programs geared towards breaking the cycle of poverty by addressing the needs of poor Israelis and helping them to become financially independent.

Lurie is sensitive to his clients’ needs and treats them as individuals, with respect and kindness. “They don’t want to beg, but we hear their cry,” is how he describes the families served by Yad Ezra V’Shulamit.

A hungry child will find it very difficult to achieve success at school, so the organization’s focus is on children and the next generation. To help poor families Lurie even turned his own house into a soup kitchen, and moved his family to a small apartment.

Feed-A-Baby Yad Ezra V'Shulamit distributes thousands of boxes of baby formula and diapers for malnourished babies.

Food Baskets Yad Ezra V'Shulamit distributes 3,000 food baskets weekly and over 20,000 during Rosh Hashanah and Pesah!

Tefilla Buxbaum shared with me how Rabbi Lurie manages the organization: “He runs it like he does his personal life, with a remarkable sense of responsibility for the wellbeing of every Jew.” Lurie demonstrated this responsibility during the last Gaza war.

Residents of towns and villages were scared to leave their shelters and barely had time to run to a grocery store. Many stores were not open. Lurie traveled to the South and personally distributed 100 tons of food in two-and-a-half weeks to people in bomb shelters. He gave out the food himself, going from shelter to shelter.

Two years ago the winter was particularly harsh in Jerusalem.

Many people were hospitalized, suffering from hyperthermia.

Rabbi Lurie secured a loan, bought 2,500 blankets and hundreds of heaters. He announced on the radio that he had blankets and heaters for anyone suffering from the severe cold, and hundreds of grateful residents came.

Why Donate to Yad Ezra V’Shulamit?

Ms. Buxbaum told me that Hacham Ovadia Yosef, zt”l, was closely involved with Yad Ezra V'Shulamit and endorsed and blessed Rabbi Aryeh Lurie for doing holy work and filling the world with kindness.

She further explained, “Children are Israel’s national resource.

Lurie believes it is our responsibility to give the upcoming generation tools and FOOD in order for them to grow up with an option for a better future.

“Holiday time is especially demanding. Last Pesah we gave 25,000 baskets and thousands of vouchers to food stores. We all want to make sure that every Jewish person has what they need for Rosh Hashanah. It's too heartbreaking to turn people away, especially for Rosh Hashanah. We do everything to make sure everyone gets something for the holidays. We turn to Klal Israel to help us; we can't do this alone. These are our brothers and sisters in Eretz Israel who need a helping hand.

“If everyone gives one food basket, there will be more than enough for everybody. Kol Israel arevim zeh lazeh.

“They turn to us, we turn to you. Please help us feed them.”

To donate, go to www.yadezra.net.

Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching. Ellen helps people find their passion, purpose, and positivity in life and love.

Ellen can be contacted at ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com).

Children's Centers All smiles in Yad Ezra V'Shulamit's Children Center as they help feed over 500 children every day.

Today, Yad Ezra V’Shulamit operates the following major projects: FOOD BASKETS – Weekly and holiday baskets are overflowing with chicken, fish, fruit, vegetables, oil, grains, beans, canned goods, pasta, and challah. There’s enough to feed a family for Shabbat and have plenty left over for the rest of the week.

CHILDREN’S CENTERS – These centers provide 500 children with a daily nutritious lunch program, homework help, educational resources, and a loving environment.

FEED-A-BABY – Feed and diaper a baby in Israel for only $2 a day. The Israelis living in poverty include thousands of malnourished babies.

TEENS AT RISK – Yad Ezra V’Shulamit operates 37 youth clubs for 3,000 teens from ages 14 to 22. These clubs offer an alternative to the streets for many Israeli youths at risk, and help to get them back on track.

JOB DESK – Lurie offers his clients help with resume writing and interviewing skills, to help them get good jobs.

DISTRIBUTION – This project equips children and teens with clothes and supplies for the new school year as well as blankets and heaters for the winter.

EMERGENCY RELIEF – Lurie’s organization battles hunger and poverty in war and peace. During the wars in Lebanon, other attacks, and the recent Gaza War, the founder and brave volunteers brought food, water, and other necessities to Israelis trapped in bomb shelters, and to refugees who fled the North.

BACK-TO-SCHOOL DISTRIBUTION – Lurie wants to ensure each child has the right school bag and supplies so that s/he can go to school, learn in a normal environment, and become a successful, educated citizen.

ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

55

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COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

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ELLEN GELLER KAMARAS

ONE-ON-ONE WITH

Who is Linda Argalgi Sadacka?

Linda, who describes herself as “atypical” and a “social butterfly who gets along with everyone,” immediately connected with the diverse mix of observant students in the all-girls school. Her classmates ranged from girls from Lithuanian families to girls from different Hasidic sects.

Linda herself become Orthodox, and although she changed her lifestyle she did not lose her individuality. She recalls, “I became an improved version of me, a better person…I watched my language, I didn’t say ill things about anybody, I had amazing friends who were of a higher caliber, girls who were b’tzniut and conducted themselves as b'not melachim.” Her family was inspired by these “improvements” and by Linda’s passion and commitment to her new life, and they followed her example and embraced an Orthodox Torah lifestyle along with her.

At TAV, Rebbetzin Sarah Feldbrand, the wife of a Munkatch Hasidic Rabbi, became Linda’s spiritual mentor. At the Rebbetzin’s suggestion, Linda attended one Torah class and was hooked! Linda Her Roots and Journey still looks to Mrs. Feldbrand, now Linda grew up in Montreal, Medical aviation team arranged by MOMS transporting injured children and adults to the proper medical facilities. a Brooklyn resident and prolific Canada in a traditional and kosher writer, for spiritual guidance.

Sephardic home, with her Egyptian After taking three computer mother and Lebanese father. classes, Linda decided to switch Although Linda says she was "IT WOULD BE TRAGIC IF I DIDN’T to religious studies and language/ always spiritual, her connection HELP SOMEONE IN A DIFFICULT literature.

She earned a bachelor’s to Hashem strengthened when degree in English Language Arts. she was twelve, and was nearly SITUATION.” IT’S A NO BRAINER! She followed her heart and used hit by a bus. To thank Hashem her education to launch a career as for protecting her, Linda started IF YOU DON’T HELP, YOU DO a political activist and journalist. keeping Shabbat in the best way she knew how.

NOTHING. IF YOU DO HELP, YOU ARE The tragic death of her brother’s close friend, Jason Linda enrolled in Vanier College DOING SOMETHING POSITIVE.” Friedberg, was the turning point in Montreal. But coming from a in Linda’s life, propelling her sheltered Jewish community, she into pro-Israel activism and the fight against terrorism. Jason, felt uncomfortable in a secular setting. Linda’s mother suggested an IDF soldier from Montreal, was murdered execution style by she transfer to TAV, a seminary where her cousin was taking Arab terrorists in 1993.

Jason’s three murderers were all freed in programming classes. Since computers were the new craze, Linda different prisoner exchanges. decided to go for it!

Linda is a loving wife, mother, sister, and daughter who wakes up every morning with a prayer to Hashem, “Please take care of my children and I will take care of yours.” Picture a vibrant, frum, super heroine forging ahead to help her Jewish sisters and brothers, fighting for justice for the weak and helpless. Linda exudes positive energy, spirituality, and enormous emunah in Hashem.

Born in Canada, Linda is a dynamic pro-Israel political activist.

When she married and settled in Brooklyn she channeled her activism into hesed. “Preventing a terrorist attack”, she explained to me, “is a massive hesed.” She is an unstoppable force when it comes to helping her fellow Jews with basic needs, medical crises, advocacy, and awareness.

An extremely warm, positive, spirited, and savvy woman, Linda founded the far-reaching grassroots organization called Moms On A Mitzvah (“MOMS”) in 2013. MOMS is a team of mothers who make hesed their mission by weaving it into their daily lives.

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Linda is so proud of her team. She explains that each woman is a leader in her own right, and leads a specific area based on her forte. A highly regarded rabbi told Linda that her “team members working on specific causes are spared from those problems that they are helping others with.”

Linda made valuable political contacts when fighting for Elisha, and even received a phone call from a representative of Washington D.C. telling her that President Obama saw the petition. Linda also made many connections with influential individuals as a political activist. But she is most proud of her relationships with gedolim, such as Rabbi Lopian and the Alexander Rebbe. Linda leverages her connections in the U.S. and Israel to save Jewish lives, advocate for Israel, fight terrorism, and bolster Jewish engagement.

MOMS even initiated a bill that was brought to the Knesset. Linda always vets her project proposals with a posek first, which differentiates MOMS from other organizations.

Her networks even led to Linda meeting the Duke and Duchess of Cambridge! Rebbetzin Feldbrand encouraged her to go saying, “You never know what good will come of it!”

MOMS has grown beyond Linda’s expectations, initiating life-enhancing, life-extending, and life-saving Moms On A Mitzvah's 3rd Challah Bake was held at the Sephardic activities.

Its mission is “to provide MOMS — Transforming Jewish Center in Flatbush.

This was the 3rd year that Linda direct, personalized support for Political Activism Sadacka, head of Moms On A Mitzvah spearheaded this successful Jewish individuals and families facing into Hesed event. The previous two years were so well attended that they had to challenges.” MOMS focuses on the Fast forward to 2013. Linda credits turn people away! following three areas: Refael Elisha Cohen, A”H, (Elisha) for the founding of MOMS. Helping Elisha was her first venture 1) Basic Needs – MOMS supplies winter clothes to impoverished into medical advocacy. Linda heard about the sweet six-year-old boy from her sister in Houston. He was a terminally ill with an families, helps to remove children from abusive homes, and aggressive form of cancer, and was a classmate of Linda’s nephew. collaborates with many organizations on diverse projects.

After speaking to Elisha’s mother and doing research, Linda sprang into action. She learned of a possible new approach by a top New 2) Advocacy – MOMS arranges medical aviation of terminally York doctor. She arranged for medical aviation for Elisha, obtained ill patients to the best NYC hospitals. MOMS created a Coma housing and furniture for the family, arranged admission to Checklist for family members whose loved ones are in a coma yeshivot for his siblings, health insurance for Elisha, winter clothes in order to ensure the required life-saving medical care is for the family, and more. performed. The checklist was circulated to Bikur Holim offices in A legion of hundreds of amazing women from the community tri-state NY hospitals, Canada, and Israel. Vaad Refuah, a health came to Linda’s aid for all of the tasks needed to get Elisha and his care advocacy group, included the checklist in their Friends and family settled and secure in New York.

Care training program.

Elisha’s mother found out about a last resort therapy that the FDA had pulled their approval for, pending further clinical trials.

3) Engagement – MOMS delivered essential supplies to IDF The FDA could approve a "compassionate use exemption" for soldiers during Operation Protective Edge and created Project Elisha if they received petitions with 100,000 signatures. Linda was Soulmate which has made many successful shidduchim in not intimidated, and she along with other mothers secured the the community. signatures in under two weeks.

The FDA eventually relented, but it was too late for Elisha. Others, MOMS is proud that it can account for every dollar donated, however, did benefit from the drug, and the achdut generated to and is becoming a 501(c) charity. To donate to MOMS, please help Elisha was an extraordinary zechut for him. email Calomira@aol.com, subject line “MOMS.” As friends offered to help Linda and worked as a cohesive group, they called themselves “Moms on a Mitzvah.” Linda relates, “We are Ellen Geller Kamaras, CPA/MBA, is an International Coach Federation (ICF) Associate not a well-oiled machine, we are a group of moms trying to make a Certified Coach. Her coaching specialties include life, career, and dating coaching.

Ellen can be contacted at: ellen@lifecoachellen.com (www.lifecoachellen.com). difference for a fellow Jew.”

Israel and saving Jews became Linda’s obsession. She organized rallies and formed an organization called SAJE, Save All Jews Everywhere, she hosted a Canadian political radio talk show called Radio Shalom, and also wrote columns and articles for The Jewish Monitor, Arutz Sheva, and many other publications.

In 1997, Linda and her mother traveled to New York to look for a shidduch for Linda. There she met Jack Sadacka, a Syrian pediatrician.

On her first date, Linda thought Jack sounded like her father. “He reminded me of my heritage and I was thirsty for that… He brought that out in me,” Linda recalls. And the rest is history! Linda characterizes Jack as a strong Jewish man, secure in his marriage and more than 100% supportive of Linda’s work with MOMS. Linda explains MOMS could not exist without Jack’s loving assistance and backing. Her children are so proud of her work, and from an early age are aware of the Jewish community’s challenges and needs, and of each person’s responsibility to help one another. Linda confided, “A very big rabbi actually gave my children a beracha that if they lessen my burden in the house they get a share of the zechut I get for the mitzvah of doing hesed.”

As a wife and mother in New York, Linda continued her work as a pro-Israel political activist and journalist.

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POSITIVE PARENTING TAMMY SASSOON, M.S.ED

Due to popular demand, Tammy Sassoon is now available to answer your most challenging parenting questions. If you are a frustrated mom or dad looking for answers to a specific problem at home, or want to improve your parenting skills in a certain area, then send an email to editor@community.com.

Tammy will suggest new and effective parenting strategies that actually work!

Dear Desperately Looking For Peace, You are not alone here! These types of conflicts are common in almost every home. I commend you for being proactive, and looking for solutions. Unlike you, many people just complain about their problems, without seeking solutions. We all know that never leads to anything helpful. Now that you have said that you are open to doing things differently, I am going to give you a few suggestions. It will be challenging to follow my advice, but when you do, b’ezrat Hashem your family’s situation will improve significantly.

I suggest the following: We must model for our children what it is we want them to be. I find that when children fight or are unkind to their siblings, it is because they are concerned that they will lose something, or that others do not think they are not important. The antidote to both of these problems is to help children feel that they will always have exactly what they need, and to know that nobody can ever take away from their own importance.

If we want our children to truly internalize these two points, we must live by them ourselves.

Sure, we should remind our children often that Hashem will give them just what’s good for them at every moment, and that their value can’t be diminished just because somebody else acts like they are more important than they are. But even more so, we have to show our children how much we ourselves believe these things are true. Make sure that you are modeling the following points:

Dear Tammy, I have 3 children, ages 11, 9, and 6.

Each of them is so sweet when they are alone, but they are constantly fighting when they are together.

They fight about the silliest things.

If I am giving out ices, each child screams louder about the color he or she wants. If one child touches somebody else’s things, the other child screams, “Get off my stuff!”

I get very irritable around my children when they get like this.

I am looking for tips to create a more loving atmosphere at home and promote peace between my children.

Signed,

Desperately Looking for Peace

• Have a positive attitude regardless of the circumstances. (We want them to have a positive attitude when someone picks the color ices they had wanted.)

• Do not worry about whether or not things will turn out as you wish. (We want them not to worry about things turning out just the way they wish.)

• Treat yourself and other people as valuable and important. (You want them to know how important they are, even if someone else tries to get the “better” ices.)

• Be happy for others when they succeed. (You want them to be happy for their siblings who get something they like.)

If you raise children with these values they will be less likely to feel the need to prove that they are right, or bigger, or stronger, or smarter than their siblings. Your goal is to create a culture in your home where children are satisfied with what Hashem sends their way.

Work on being satisfied with what comes your way, even if it’s fighting between your children. It is very important in life to know what we can and cannot control.

We can never control other people. We can only control our own attitudes. If you are calm inside when the kids fight, you will gain the inner strength to direct your kids with love and assertiveness. You may need to set limits, separate the kids, or at times leave the kids alone to work things out themselves, as long as nobody is being hurt physically or emotionally. What I do when I find myself getting nervous about the bickering is ask myself, ‘What thought or action should come next?” When I phrase the question that way in my head, it directs me towards looking for a solution instead of just beginning to panic about a situation that irritates or disturbs me.

By implementing these points, b’ezrat Hashem, soon you will be on the path to a more peaceful and loving home.

Tammy Tammy Sassoon is a behavioral therapist and parenting coach. She gives live workshops as well as “train by phone” telecourses to teachers, principals, therapists, and parents, in order to help them gain compliance from even the most oppositional children. She can be contacted through her website, www.tammysassoon.com or by phone at: 347 679 5466.

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HEALTHY Homelife

MOZELLE FORMAN, LCSW

Making Peace with Stress B

ack to school means back to schedules, back to deadlines, back to stressors that were held at bay during the lazy days of summer. Students experience the start of a new school year with a mix of excitement and worry – worry about the new teacher, the new workload, perhaps a new set of classmates, or an entirely new school. Parents worry about getting the kids up on time, helping with their homework, and all the other tasks that go along with achieving academic success.

And even if you don’t have kids, you know that stress can attack from other sides as well. Anything from being stuck in traffic when you are late for an appointment, to your spouse forgetting to do the thing you asked. You can feel stressed from being told you are wrong, being let down, or somebody promising you something and not delivering. These are the inevitable stresses in our lives that confront us on a daily basis – the cost of living stressors.

They can’t always be avoided, but they don’t have to stress us out.

We all know that stress can rob us of our health. Studies show that too much stress in our lives affects our immune system, making us susceptible to many illnesses, such as back pain, headaches, stomachaches, and ulcers. Stress also robs us of peace of mind, our ability to be patient with our loved ones, and many times stress prevents us from reacting to situations realistically.

As much as we might wish it, though, trying to avoid stress is not a realistic approach to life, because stress can be present in almost everything we do. All the micromanaging and intense over-planning in the world (a strategy many of us try) will not eliminate every stressor.

It just leaves you with your stomach tied in knots and your temper on

the verge of exploding if things don’t go exactly the way you planned.

And what’s worse, over-planning robs you and your family of the spontaneous pleasures of life.

While some stress is inevitable, other stress is a product of our own making, because how we think about our stress matters more than the stress itself. Psychologist Dr. Albert Ellis, author of How to Stubbornly Refuse to Make Yourself Miserable About Anything coined the term “awfulizing,” which refers to a dramatic thought pattern, characterized by the tendency to overestimate the potential seriousness or negative consequences of events or situations. Meaning, we make mountains out of mole hills. Dr. Ellis believes that it is our own negative self-talk that leads to worry and stress. So, although there will always be stressful events in our lives, they don’t all have to be awful.

Negative self-talk is the sneaky, subtle messages we give ourselves that say, “I can’t handle this; it is intolerable.” This type of self-talk causes us to avoid a situation instead of dealing with it, or alternatively to micro-manage in an effort to avoid the feeling of helplessness. In order to reduce the effects of stress we need to transform negative self-talk into positive self-talk which will alleviate stress. Try adopting these examples.

• It isn’t awful if I don’t accomplish everything on my list for today.

• This traffic jam or red light on Kings Highway will not throw my whole day off.

• It is inconvenient (not infuriating) that I have to search for my child’s lost shoe in the morning.

• It’s not going to be awful if he/she is late for school.

• I am still loved even if my spouse hasn’t given me what I have asked for.

If you can refuse to make yourself miserable, you’re that much closer to making yourself happy and stress free – every day.

TECHNIQUES TO ALLEVIATE STRESS • Practice emotional reassuring – Ask yourself: Am I going by just my feelings? What am I telling myself about this situation that makes me feel stressed?

• Debate mistaken beliefs – Belief: If I take a risk I will fail. Counter this with: It is ok to take a risk because even if I fail I can learn from my mistakes.

• Develop an attitude of letting go – Let go of the need to control, to fix, to regulate others and their schedules.

• Take good physical care of yourself – Eat right, exercise, and get enough sleep.

Mozelle Forman has been in private practice for 20 years. Visit her at mozelleforman.com

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ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

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Shaatra DOES IT

MIRIAM SASSON

Shaatra weighs in on: Morah to the Max – Making the Most of Your Child’s Tutoring Session.

This month’s expert: Mrs. Jaime Chams, MSEd; Director of Always a Step Ahead P3/SETSS

(Public-Private Partnerships (P3) Special Education Teacher

Support Services) Agency.

FORGET Aim to master, not to finish. Jaime Chams, the mastermind behind a successful tutoring agency, advises parents to hire a tutor who will teach their child skills rather than just material.

Ideally, that would mean working with a tutor on acquiring skills that would empower the child to complete homework independently. Jaime understands that with today’s homework load on kids, and high academic demands of schools, kids and their parents just aren’t up to focusing on skills. Second best? If you do choose to spend a tutoring session doing homework, let it still be skills-based. Let the tutor use the first example to teach, the second to guide, and the rest to be done independently by the child, with the tutor available to explain and re-teach where necessary. That way, explains Jaime, kids won’t grow dependent on their tutors.

My child is bright (he scored very high on an IQ test) but tends to work quickly and carelessly to get the work over with. Is a tutor right for him?

Jaime: Smart kids benefit from tutors too! The tutor can equip your child with the skills he needs to slow down. Your child can learn how to break tasks down into steps, decode instructions better, highlight relevant vocabulary, and more. A tutor can work with a bright child on test-taking skills so his marks will reflect his intelligence. Communicate your child’s needs to his tutor so he or she can hone in on these skills from the start.

FOOD FOR THOUGHT The official name for the one being tutored is “tutee.” That’s similar to the following: the employer is the one who does the hiring and the employee is the one who is hired. Interviewer, interviewee, Payer, payee. Tutee’s first known use was around 1927, whereas the word tutor was first used in the 1300’s.

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Forget about applying excessive pressure on your child. “Too often,” says Jaime, “kids arrive at their tutoring sessions with Mom’s words of, ‘Don’t come home with unfinished homework’ ringing in their ears. Pressure-cooked kids tend to underperform, as they simply cannot concentrate. Plus, kids with pressure, pressure, pressure are not open to learning anything new as they feel that explanations are, ironically, a deviation from the task at hand, and are pointless. (“Don’t teach me how to do it; just tell me what I should do for Number 7.”)

Shopping List Jaime recommends keeping this list handy when the tutor is present:

Grade-appropriate reading material – While the tutor may come with books, you can transform your child’s learning experience by providing books he enjoys. Does your daughter prefer mysteries? Does your son appreciate science fiction? You may be the best one to provide books, as you know your child best, after all.

Whiteboard and marker – Although tutors usually come prepared with materials like this for your child, it’s good to have a marker board on hand to liven things up a bit for your child should the tutor only come with a pencil and paper. Even high schoolers love this one!

Prizes, treats, and stickers – Prizes are an incentive for children to make the most of their time with the tutor.

Motivated children learn best!

SPOTLIGHT ON: THE RIGHT FIT

Is there such thing as a shidduch crisis with tutors? “Absolutely!” says Jaime. Sometimes, no matter how highly recommended the tutor, the tutor-tutee relationship just doesn’t click. If your child resents having a tutor to the extent that progress is hampered, it may be time to switch tutors. Therefore, Jaime recommends three trial sessions after which everyone can determine whether the match is successful.

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Exotic Red Cabbage Salad Sweet, salty, tart, and tangy...this red cabbage salad is the exciting addition to your meal.

By Between Carpools You can make this for Shabbat, or whenever you’re asked to bring a salad to a meal. It’s different than the typical lettuce-based salad, and we like salads that blend fruits and vegetables. With no lettuce, you can make this in advance and it can sit out at a party and not wilt. Even the leftovers are good (if you have any).

• • • • •

8 ounces shredded red cabbage 1 carrot, grated (large, not fine) 1 green apple, cut into long thin toothpick-size sticks, peel is fine 1/4-1/2 medium red onion, thinly sliced.

3 oz chopped Chinese or glazed pecans

Dressing: • • • • • • •

3 tablespoons olive oil 2 tablespoons canola oil 4 teaspoons vinegar 2 tablespoons Dijon mustard 2 garlic cloves, crushed 1 teaspoon sugar Lemon Pepper seasoning (or salt and pepper to taste)

1. Combine all dressing ingredients.

2. Combine all salad ingredients except for the pecans. Toss with ¾ of the dressing or as much as you like. Leave it in the fridge for later use, as the salad is best when it marinates before serving. (The acid in the dressing prevents the apples from browning so it can be made an hour in advance. If kept well covered or in a ziplock bag, it will usually last until the next day.)

3. Top with pecans before serving.

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BetweenCarpools.com is the lifestyle app/ site for the busy Jewish woman. You’ll find home and organizing tips, parenting insights, activities, how-to’s and DIYs, and of course, entertaining ideas, recipes, and inspiring reads. The App is available at the App Store and Google Play. If you have a kosher smartphone, you can visit your local TAG office to have the app downloaded. Here’s a taste. Enjoy!

Victoria Dwek, Leah Schapira, Renee Muller, Shaindy Menzer, & Esti Waldman

Food Styling Tricks We learned this trick from food stylist Renee Muller. As she was styling the salad at the photoshoot, we watched and snapped so we could fill you in on the secret too.

You’ll need: *All your prepped ingredients *Clean, white strips of paper 1. Fill the bottom of the bowl with red cabbage. Add more red cabbage on the top, on one side only. Place a strip of paper on the side. Hold it there while you add the next ingredient.

2. Continue adding each ingredient in a row, adding a strip of paper between each one.

Remove the papers and add to your buffet.

3. Add dressing and toss right before serving.

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ESTHER SASSOON

Apple and Cinnamon Sticky Buns with Parve Cream Cheese Frosting It's that time of year again! Everyone is searching for that original apple dessert recipe.

Try these apple and cinnamon sticky buns for Rosh Hashanah or all year round.

Ingredients: Dough: • • • • • • • •

2 tbsp yeast 5 cups flour 1/2 cup sugar 2 cups slightly warm water 1/4 cup oil 1 egg 1 tsp vanilla 1 tsp salt

Frosting: • • • •

Cinnamon Apple Filling: • • • • • •

2 apples Pam spray 5 tbsp oil 1/2 cup sugar 1 tsp cinnamon 1/2 tsp salt

2 tbsp water 1 tsp vanilla 1 cup confectioners sugar 1 container of parve cream cheese

1. Flour the parchment paper surface before rolling out dough so that dough doesn't stick.

2. Cinnamon buns can also be made all attached in a 9x13 pan.

3. Feel free to use dairy cream cheese, when serving after a dairy or parve meal.

Directions: 1. Cut up apples into small squares and place on a baking tray sprayed with Pam. 2. Spray apples with Pam and sprinkle with a little cinnamon.

3. Bake at 350 degrees for 15 minutes.

4. Meanwhile, dissolve yeast in water with sugar and add remaining dough ingredients. Mix in an electric mixer for 5 minutes, or until dough pulls away from the sides of the bowl.

5. Divide the dough into two parts. Roll out each piece of dough onto parchment paper about 10 inches by 7 inches long.

6. Place baked apples on rolled out dough.

7. Mix together the remaining cinnamon filling ingredients. Pour over apples which are on the dough. Roll the dough, jelly roll style, into a log. Slice each log into 7-8 slices and place individual slices into a greased muffin tin.

8. Bake for 20 minutes or until golden.

Frosting: 1. Mix together confectioners sugar and water until sugar is dissolved.

2. Add vanilla. Mix in parve cream cheese. Mix thoroughly so no lumps remain. (You may need to use an electric hand mixer or an emersion blender.)

3. When cinnamon buns are cool, spoon on cream cheese frosting.

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Esther Sassoon, professionally trained event planner and pastry chef, has been sweetening events for the last 6 years. She is available for dessert demos and classes.

Esther can be reached at esthersassoon1@gmail.com or by phone – 347 421 5739.

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AN UNSETTLING STORY

L. AZAR

“…WE SHOULD REDUCE THE TIME AND ENERGY WE EXPEND ON MATERIALISTIC PURSUITS AND THE AMASSMENT OF MORE AND MORE POSSESSIONS.”

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It's the feeling that crops up when the hour is late and your kids are not all home yet for the night.

It’s the feeling you experience when the important thing you want to tell your husband just won’t make the leap from the tip of your tongue, out.

It’s the feeling you get when you’ve got a whole list of errands to run, but instead chase after an elusive parking spot.

It’s the feeling of unsettledness – the niggling in your stomach and the alarm bells in your brain reminding you of unfinished business; the emotion that can claim your peace of mind and hundreds of hours of sleep.

To illustrate: Once upon a time, my sister-in-law Jacqueline,* lived with her husband and an adorable infant in a neat, little apartment. Her lease was up on May 31, 2017, and she had to be out of it by then. Having just given birth in April and with Passover and pidyon haben prep in between, Jacqueline’s apartment search was pretty lame and she never found another place. Fortunately, her landlord allowed her and her husband to extend their lease an additional month, which was a good thing because they managed to find something suitable in that time.

Should she worry about the fact that that the new apartment she’d found was first available from July 3rd leaving their family a three-day gap with no place to be? No, reasoned Jacqueline, because she planned to be a staff member at a camp in the Catskills then, and bring her family with her.

Jacqueline arranged for movers to transfer her furniture into storage. The move would take place on a Friday, and then they’d drive up to the mountains in their minivan. That was the plan.

The situation grew tricky when their van needed an emergency repair, rendering it unavailable for use on that slated Friday. Luckily, the camp arranged to rent Jacqueline a minivan in which she could bring her family up to the mountains. Great!

Friday dawned, and an exhausted Jacqueline, who’d spent the night alternating between packing and feeding

the baby, watched as every bed and chair were swallowed up inside a giant moving truck. As soon as the truck reached storage, she received a phone call from the camp. They were soooo sorry, but there was a misunderstanding and they didn’t need her at the camp until after the weekend.

My sister-in-law stood in her bare apartment bewildered. She had no furniture, no food, and essentially, no place to call home. It was 3 PM, just a few hours short of Shabbat. Because there was no car in the picture, she couldn’t make the one-hour drive to my in-laws.

I have nowhere to go, nowhere to land, nowhere to settle! Jacqueline chanted to herself repeatedly.

At five-thirty, Jacqueline hopped into an Uber to transport her family and their camp luggage to Mom’s. Ignoring the cabby’s angry rants of “Why all this stuff for?!” and “Hurry it up, already!” she began to philosophize.

Are we supposed to feel settled in this world? she wondered. No. After all, this whole world is merely a stopover, until we reach the ultimate destination – the World to Come. So, in a way, every one of us is never settled completely. And if this world is temporary, we should reduce the time and energy we expend on materialistic pursuits and the amassment of more and more possessions.

A century ago, a traveler passing by Radin, Poland, hometown of the famed Chafetz Chaim, asked the venerated rabbi, “Where is all your furniture?”

The Chafetz Chaim answered the man’s question with a question of his own: “Where’s yours?”

“Mine? I’m merely passing through Radin. My furniture does not come with me on my travels.”

“I, too, am merely passing through Radin. My furniture does not come with me to the World to Come,” the gadol remarked. The Chafetz Chaim’s famous words were a lesson for generations – the same lesson Jacqueline ultimately learned from her experience.

Remember, we’re just traveling through! *Name has been changed.

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Dear Jido, I remember when my husband and I used to look forward to the High Holidays as a month of meals with friends and quiet contemplation. Last year however, the whole month of Tishrei was just one extraordinarily long exhausting experience. With two young kids and no family nearby, I spent all my time running after my children when I wanted to be in services. I'm already dreading the thought of the upcoming Holidays. Will I ever enjoy the Holidays again as a parent? Any suggestions for making things better for the time between now and when my kids are grown up?

Signed, Exhausted by the Holidays

Dear Exhausted, I can see that the Holidays could be a bit disappointing. Truth is, it’s hard for me to relate since I and my children will all be in synagogue all day just like your husband.

Maybe it’s best if I let my wife answer this time. So here’s Sito: Hi, honey. Wow, I can’t believe the holidays are almost here. I better make sure to get a shank bone this year. Oh, no, that’s for Pesah. I hope the store doesn’t run out of silik.

Oh yeah, about your question. I know what you mean. I remember when my kids were young and we spent the whole day reading Dr. Seuss and The Little Train That Could instead of praying musaf and tashlich. Even now, when my grandchildren come over, it’s so exhausting. But, I’m a Sito and you’re a young mother, so you should be okay.

As Jido keeps telling me, women are called – akeret habayit – we are the foundations of the home. Our job is to hold down the fort, even if it does get to be like the Wild West sometimes.

See if you can schedule the kids’ naps to be at the same time so you can sneak in a prayer or two. Perhaps invite a friend over who can share the time with you. Discuss with your husband about varying your schedule from yom tov to yom tov so you can be either at the in-laws or the outlaws for one holiday.

Either way, take heart. It gets easier as they get older. The blessing is to have your children around your table as growing vines. Enjoy them. Enjoy their antics. And be sure to leave time to go shopping for the lubyeh. I just hope the store doesn’t run out of silik!

Love, Sito 76

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77

NORMAN BALASSIANO

DEBT

AND HOW IT CAN AFFECT

W

YOUR HEALTH

hy do people get sick? A poor diet, lack of exercise, or underlying health problems are all likely causes. Stress can be devastating to your health, too.

And what is one of the most prevalent sources of stress?

when they had nowhere else to turn. Even then, they’d often come Debt.

I spent the past twelve years helping people with severe debt – with excuses, blaming a business partner or an overspending spouse. more debt than most people can imagine. My clients would come Anyone but themselves.

This told me more than they could have realized. It told me they to me when they had exhausted all their options. My goal was to were struggling with relationships. Then, if I spoke to their spouse solve their financial difficulties. But I quickly found that in order to (which I often did), I would hear a different story. I would hear about do so, I needed to snap them out of a deep, self-destructive funk. months spent not talking about money – or maybe not talking at all.

If I did not, they would just get sicker, and would not be able to In many cases, lack of communication was the real problem. help themselves.

These people were hurting; I could see that as soon as they When I figured out the root cause of a person’s problem, I’d offer solutions – and not just financial walked through the door. Their debt ones. I would tell them to make peace had led to a decline in their physical THE FIRST STEP IS TO TALK with whatever was hurting them. To health. This was made worse by the TO SOMEONE WHO CAN treat a spouse better. To forgive an old fact that, in their misery, they had HELP, BEFORE THE PROBLEM grudge. At first, many thought this was stopped caring for themselves. They didn’t see friends, weren't eating right, EATS AWAY AT YOUR HEALTH unrelated. But when they followed this advice, they found that things and were often abusing themselves YOUR RELATIONSHIPS. AND improved dramatically. with alcohol, cigarettes, or drugs. I So what should you do if you have noticed some even stopped brushing debt?

The first step is to talk to someone who can help, before the their teeth. They could barely get out of the house. problem eats away at your health and your relationships. If you hold As a result, they became weak. They gained weight. They were something inside, it will not go away on its own.

It will only grow, and despondent… unable to see a light at the end of this phase of their life journey. will touch other areas of your life.

Only when you bring something out into the open can you start The worst part was that there was a good chance this would not to make peace. If you can’t pay off your debts, you can at least have happened had they only sought help sooner.

When you have unmanageable debt, the natural response is to face them, and prevent further damage to your health and your shield yourself from blame. It’s too painful to accept that your own spiritual wellbeing. behavior led to this condition – and if you can’t admit it to yourself, Norman Balassiano has 25 years of social services experience. how can you admit it to a stranger? That’s why people came to me Certified in Yoga-Meditation-Breathing technics and Hypnosis.

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This month Dr. Jacques Doueck interviews Dr. Joseph Shams

Dr. Jacques Doueck

Spotlight On: Varicose Veins Dr. Joseph Shams

What are varicose veins?

Varicose veins, also known as varicose or varicosities, are swollen, bulging superficial veins, usually in the legs, which appear as purplish-bluish “bumps” protruding from under the skin. Spider veins (a “cousin” of varicose veins) are bulging tiny veins underneath the skin which are frequently arranged in the form of a spider web.

Who is prone to venous varicosities?

develop

Up to 75% of women and up to 50% of men will develop venous varicosities during their lives. Pregnant women are particularly prone to develop varicosities as a result of increased blood flow during pregnancy, as well as due to compression of the pelvic veins by the fetus. Varicosities tend to worsen with each pregnancy, but improve three to twelve months following delivery. Age is also an important risk factor. As you age, veins lose their elasticity, causing the valves to stretch and leak. If immediate family members have varicose veins there is a greater chance that you will too. Being overweight puts added pressure on your veins, and makes one more likely to develop of venous varicosities and leg swelling. Weight lifting and heavy manual labor also increase the risk of developing varicosities.

What symptoms are associated with venous varicosities?

Varicose veins, although unsightly, may have no symptoms at all. However, many patients complain of heaviness, tiredness, throbbing, and aching pain within the legs, related to the varicosities. They also commonly describe severe itching and swelling at the site of the abnormal veins.

Symptoms are typically worse at the end of the day, after standing for long periods of time, and after exercising.

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COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

Dr. Joseph Shams is a board certified endovascular surgeon.

He is an Assistant Clinical Professor at the Mt. Sinai School of Medicine and Director of Advanced Vascular Care, a dedicated vascular practice in Manhattan and Brooklyn. He has been named a Castle Connolly Top Doctor from 2012-2016 and was listed as one of New York City's "Best Doctors" by New York Magazine in 2016.

What are current treatments for symptomatic venous varicosities?

Lifestyle modification is the initial treatment for symptoms related to varicose veins. Exercising, eating a high fiber, low salt diet, weight loss, not wearing tight clothing, elevating your legs with two pillows, and avoiding long periods of standing or sitting can ease pain and prevent worsening symptoms.

A number of alternative therapies claim to be helpful for chronic venous insufficiency, a condition associated with varicose veins.

These include taking butcher’s broom (a plant whose root is used to treat varicose veins and circulatory problems), eating grapes (leaves, sap, seed, and fruit), and taking horse chestnut, and sweet clover (these are dietary supplements, generally available in health food stores). Talk with your physician before trying any dietary supplement to make sure these products are safe and will not interfere with any other medications.

Wearing graduated compression stockings is often the preferred initial treatment for symptomatic venous varicosities before pursuing more invasive treatment. Compression stockings steadily squeeze your legs, helping veins and leg muscles to move blood more efficiently.

You can buy compression stockings at most pharmacies and surgical supply stores.

Prescription strength stockings are also available. It is a good idea to buy more than one pair at a time, as they tend to require frequent laundering.

Less than 20 years ago surgery was the standard invasive treatment for varicose veins. This required anesthesia and a hospital stay. Newer treatments have been developed which are minimally invasive, and are performed in vascular physicians’ offices. These include: Sclerotherapy – the doctor injects small and medium sized varicosities with a solution (generally a salt solution) that scars and closes the veins. Larger veins are treated with a special foam solution. In a few weeks, the treated varicosities should fade. Although the same vein may need to be injected more than once, sclerotherapy is effective if done correctly.

Photolaser – pulses of laser light are used to treat spider and small varicose veins.

Endovenous Ablation procedures – a catheter (thin tube) is inserted into the enlarged vein and the tip is heated, using radiofrequency or laser energy. As the catheter is slowly withdrawn, the heat destroys the vein, collapsing and sealing it.

Ambulatory Phlebectomy – tiny skin punctures are made and the veins are removed through these tiny incisions.

Scarring is generally minimal.

Adequate treatment for extensive venous varicosities frequently requires a combination of the therapies described above. These procedures are very safe, with very low risk of complications, and minimal post procedure discomfort. If you are considering treatment for venous varicosities, look for a physician who has extensive experience with the full complement of venous treatments.

The medical information in this column is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice.

Always seek the advice of your physician with any questions you may have regarding a medical condition.

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MAAYAN KFIR

RESEARCH PROVES TALMUD’S STATEMENT:

Olive Oil

is Good for Your Memory

A diet rich in olive oil stops Alzheimer’s disease even in mice genetically predisposed to the disease!

W

hat the sages of the Talmud told us millennia ago diet high in olive oil. At nine months and twelve months the mice were tested for cognitive ability, and the mice who consumed about the properties of olive oil is being confirmed olive oil always scored far higher. In addition, tissue tests of their by modern research. Researchers from the Lewis brains showed dramatic differences. The cells and synapses Katz School of Medicine in Temple University found a specific of the mice that had the olive oil were in far better shape compound that protects against loss of cognitive function: extra than those who did not. Likewise, amyloid deposits were virgin olive oil! Studies showed that consuming extra virgin far smaller in those mice who consumed olive oil, which olive oil protects the ability to learn and remember and demonstrated effective autophagy was taking place in also prevents the creation of amyloid (starch-like protein) their brains. deposits in the brain which bring on Alzheimer’s.

The researchers say: “This is a very dramatic finding Researchers also found the mechanism that “Rabbi Yochanan because we’re talking about an animal with a genetic brings the protection offered by olive oil. “We’ve says just as the olive disposition to Alzheimer’s that was stopped in its found that olive oil reduces inflammation in causes one to forget tracks – probably because Alzheimer’s is caused by the brain and more importantly it activates seventy years of poor autophagy and waste cell disposal.” ‘autophagy’ - a process in which the brain study, so does olive The researchers’ next step is to mix olive oil destroys unnecessary cells and toxic deposits oil restore seventy into the diets of 12-month old mice who already such as amyloids.” years of study.” display signs of cognitive damage.

“When a person Earlier studies found that the high (Horiot 13b) comes to the doctor with symptoms of dementia, consumption of olive oil was one of the contributing the disease is already there.

We want to see if olive factors to the benefits attributed to a Mediterranean oil consumption will halt the progress of the ailment, or diet. To check if there is a correlation between olive oil perhaps even reverse it,” say the researchers. consumption and lower risk of dementia, researchers used We believe the results will be positive, as the Gemara states: mice with a genetic disposition to develop Alzheimer’s. From the age of six months, before showing any signs of reduced cognitive “Rabbi Yochanan says just as the olive causes one to forget function, the researchers divided the mice into two groups. One seventy years of study, so does olive oil restore seventy years of group continued a regular diet and the other group received a study.” (Horiot 13b)

84

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community HI GH L I GH T S

Historic Groundbreaking for the New Building of Congregation Tiferet Torah The groundbreaking event for the new building of Congregation Tiferet Torah, under the leadership of Rabbi Michael Haber, took place on Tuesday morning, August 15th. When the building is completed, a magnificent edifice will adorn the new building at the corner of Quentin Road and East 2nd Street in Brooklyn.

For this kehilla, and for the community at (L-R) Isaac Shabtai, Rabbi Moshe Haber, large, August 15th marked the beginning Rabbi Joey Haber, Maury Becker, Harry Adjmi, Rabbi Michael Haber, David Haber, and Jack Elbaz. of a momentous and long-awaited project.

Rabbi Michael Haber has dedicated his entire life to the community, and his speeches, sefarim, and spiritual projects are well known throughout the Sephardic world. The congregation and Rabbi Haber chose to forego a traditional groundbreaking event in order not to delay the project any further. Immediately after obtaining the necessary permits, construction crews began to work, only pausing for a few moments for the short ceremony and dvrei bracha that were delivered by Rabbi Haber.

Present at the groundbreaking were, in addition to Rabbi Haber, Mr. Harry Adjmi, the benefactor of the project, the rabbi’s son, Rabbi Joey Haber, and building committee members, Mr. Jack Elbaz, Mr. Isaac Shabtai, and Mr. David Haber. In addition to participating in this exciting event those attending also reviewed the construction details and plans.

New Leadership at Ahi Ezer Yeshiva Ahi Ezer Yeshiva is thrilled to announce its new multi-faceted educational approach, designed to have a positive impact on all facets of the school. Ahi Ezer is confident that its highly qualified staff will implement the new changes, which will enhance the school experience for students of all ages, from toddlers to eighth grade. This upgrade was initiated by a group of prominent community leaders, whose goal was to enhance Ahi Ezer Yeshiva and to raise the standards of education, taking the school to the next level.

Ahi Ezer Yeshiva was founded in 1962, and was a real pioneer as an educational institution for girls in our community. The school continues to carry out its original vision, to emphasize solid Torah values and middot. With this strong foundation, the school has made a commitment to focus more on the goal of strengthening the academic achievements of each student. Teachers will be doing even more to encourage inquiring minds and foster academic advancement.

The new program is designed to challenge each student according to her capabilities. As the students progress, the challenging academic program stimulates them to strive for excellence and encourages them to tackle more difficult tasks.

Ahi Ezer’s new school program extends far beyond academics. Extra-curricular activities will be run by a highly qualified staff, and will provide the extra fun and excitement that makes the Ahi Ezer environment so pleasant.

Ahi Ezer Yeshiva encourages parents to stop by and see why the new Ahi Ezer Yeshiva is the right place for their child. For Information on registering your child, please call the main office at (718) 648-6100 x-114.

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Brooklyn Councilman David Greenfield Announces New Alternate Side Parking Rules to Accommodate Parking Before Shabbat

Councilman David G. Greenfield is pleased to announce that the Department of Transportation has agreed to change alternate side parking regulations at several Midwood locations in southern Brooklyn to accommodate Shabbat observers. The new regulations allow drivers to park their cars on these blocks and not need to move them on Shabbat.

Shabbat parking has been a longtime issue for Greenfield. In fact, Greenfield first contacted the Department of Transportation just weeks into his first term in 2010 to work on parking changes to accommodate Shabbat observance. Greenfield’s tenacity has paid off.

In addition to the alternate side parking changes, there is more good news for Shabbat observers.

Mayor Bill de Blasio announced earlier this year that 1,300 Muni-Meters in Boro Park and Flatbush will soon accept pre-payment up to four-hours in advance on Fridays, guaranteeing that it will no longer be necessary to feed the parking meters after sundown on Fridays – even during the short winter days.

“This is such an important issue to me as a councilman, because parking spaces are so scarce in our neighborhoods,” Greenfield said. That's why I have worked with City Hall on a multitude of parking regulations to make it easier to park before Shabbat.”

The exact streets to see new alternate side parking rules moved from Shabbat to non-Shabbat days are: • Avenue M from Coney Island Avenue to Ocean Avenue • Avenue J from East 12th Street to East 17th Street • Elm Avenue from Bay Avenue to 18th Street and from 14th Street to 15th Street • Coney Island Avenue from Avenue I to Avenue K

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ADAR 5777 MARCH 2017

Peleh

the Boy Wonder HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED…

What are carnivorous plants?

Carnivorous plants are meat-eating plants that live in swampy areas where the soil is low in nutrients.

These plants get the extra nutrients they need to survive by consuming insects and other small animals.

There are many different types of carnivorous plants, and their methods of trapping and capturing their prey are quite remarkable.

Child Prodigy Peleh Wunder – more commonly known as Peleh the Boy Wonder

The Venus Fly Trap The Venus fly trap is a carnivorous plant that looks like a big mouth with teeth. It opens all the way up and waits for a creature, like a spider or a fly, to land on it. The “mouth” (trap) then closes around its prey, and the plant consumes it.

The Venus fly trap actually waits for the creature to crawl or move on it twice. The trap won’t close when the creature first lands on it, because it isn’t sure that it is an insect; it could have just been a leaf falling. But when the plant feels the creature again within a very short amount of time (twenty seconds) – that’s when it quickly closes in on its prey and begins the process of digesting it. Venus fly traps can mostly be found growing in the swamps of the Carolinas, but they have also been found in the Pine Barrens of New Jersey and in northern Florida.

The Sundew The sundew looks like a colorful flower or a very beautiful-looking stem, with dewdrops all over it, but the dewdrops are actually mucilage (like mucous) at the ends of the tentacles that the sundew uses to trap its prey. Flies and insects are attracted by the glistening, sticky droplets, but they soon find themselves stuck in them. The sundew then wraps up its victims in its tentacles and suffocates them in slime. Then it digests its prey and absorbs the nutrients.

The sundew has the ability to differentiate between flesh and other substances, and it only reacts to flesh.

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EFRAIM HARARI

The Pitcher Plant Pitcher plants come in all shapes and sizes. These plants form whole pitchers out of their leaves, which is what they trap insects in. Larger pitcher plants could even trap frogs, snakes, mice, and birds!

Within its deeply folded leaves, the pitcher plant stores a sweet-smelling nectar; this is what lures unsuspecting prey into the plant’s mouth. But the plant’s rim is also coated in this slippery nectar, and as soon as the victim walks on and over the rim, it slips down into the pitcher.

Unable to climb back out, the fallen creature flails helplessly, and eventually drowns, in the pool of nectar stored at the bottom of the pitcher. This fluid contains chemicals that slowly munch and swallow the body of the prey until it dissolves completely, as the plant absorbs its much-needed nutrients.

Did You Know?

Insects are lured by many carnivorous plants’ odors.

Some plants smell like sweet-tasting nectar, while others emit a smell of rotting meat.

The Waterwheel Plant The waterwheel plant, scientifically known as Aldrovanda vesiculosa, is a predator plant that lives in the water. It traps and digests aquatic insects using a method similar to that of the Venus fly trap. Its leaves face outwards from the stem and snap shut on small water animals that trigger the long, sensitive hairs surrounding each leaf. Its snap-trap, which consists of two lobes that fold together, closes in 0.01 to 0.02 seconds, making it one of the fastest examples of plant movement in the entire plant kingdom!

TRAITS OF A CARNIVOROUS PLANT All carnivorous plants share the following characteristics: Prey must find its way into the trap, and is usually lured in by something tempting created by the plant.

Prey must be captured by the plant.

The prey must die while in the clutches of the plant.

The prey must be digested.

The nutrients from the prey must be absorbed by the plant.

eef ?

B e h t s Where’ a pitcher plant k

stea e of The juic lve a chunk of days! so w will dis ng in just a fe i to noth

IF YOU HAVE A QUESTION

for Peleh the Boy Wonder, send it to:

Community Magazine 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn NY 11223 Att: Peleh Wunder Email: Ask@Communitym.com

Adapted by Efraim Harari of The Jewish World of Wonders.

Books in The Jewish World of Wonder Series include Exploring the Wild World of Animals and Exploring the Wisdom & Wonders of the Universe, published by Israel Bookshop Publications.

ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

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If you pray with us at anytime during the year but won’t be joining us for the holiday please consider making a

holiday donation of $101 and

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Please contact the shul office between 9:00AM and 12:00PM Monday through Friday at

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ELUL 5777-TISHREI 57785777 SEPTEMBER AV - ELUL AUGUST 2017 2017

91 81

JUST CHECKING IN Devorah was at home with her six kids while her husband Chaim was on a business trip. In between meetings, he called home to say hello.

The phone rang, but while going to answer it Devorah tripped on a rug, grabbed for something to hold on to, and seized the telephone table. It fell over with a crash, jarring the receiver, turning on the phone. As it fell, it hit one of the twins, Shmuli, who started crying.

Shmuli thought his twin brother Avi hit him, so he hit him back and Avi started crying. The teenage daughter Rachel screamed, “Shut up I’m trying to do my homework!” while Devorah started mumbling under her breath.

Devorah finally managed to pick up the receiver and lift it to her ear, just in time to hear her husband Chaim’s voice say, "Nobody's said hello yet, but I'm positive I have the right number."

Morris M. MATH QUIZ Question on second grade math quiz: "Tony drank 1/6 of a glass of juice. Emily drank 1/4 of a glass of juice.

Emily drank more. Explain."

My grandson’s answer: "Emily was thirstier than Tony."

Cindy A.

PET PEEVE When Dad came home he was astonished to see his son Victor sitting on his dog, writing something.

“What on earth are you doing?” he asked.

“Well, the teacher told us to write an essay on our favorite animal,” answered Victor.

“That's why I'm here and that's why Sara's sitting in the goldfish bowl.”

Mollie H.

LASTING IMPRESSION I’m now in high school, so when I ran into my third grade teacher, I doubted she would remember me.

“Hi, Miss Frankel,” I said.

“Hi, Eddie,” she replied.

“So you do remember me?” I asked.

“Sure. You don’t always leave a good impression, but it is a lasting one.”

Marc S.

TOAD YOU "How do you spell toad?" one of my first-grade students asked.

"We just read a story about a toad," I said, then helped him spell it out: "T-O-A-D." Satisfied, he finished writing the story he’d begun, then read it aloud: "I toad my mom I wanted a cat for my birthday."

Alexis F AN APPLE A DAY Little Moishie was eating an apple in the back seat of the car, when he asked, "Abba, why is my apple turning brown?"

"Because," his father, a science teacher, explained, "after you ate the skin off, the meat of the apple came into contact with the air, which caused it to oxidize, thus changing the molecular structure and turning it into a different color."

There was a long silence. Then Moishie asked softly, "Abba, are you talking to me?"

Solomon H. 92

COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

GRAMMAR LESSON Driving my car one afternoon, I rolled through a stop sign. I was pulled over by a police officer, who recognized me as his former English teacher.

"Mrs. Sultan," she said, "those stop signs are periods, not commas."

Esther Z.

MORE THAN WELCOMED My fellow teacher called for help - she needed someone who knew about animals. As a science teacher, I filled the bill. "Oh," she added, "bring a net." Expecting to find some kind of beast as I entered her classroom, I was greeted instead by the sight of excited kids watching a hummingbird fly around. Rather than use the net, I suggested they hang red paper by an open door. The bird would be drawn to it, I explained, and eventually fly out.

Later, the teacher called back. "Now," she said, "we have two hummingbirds flying around the room."

Jakie D.

CAR TROUBLE We live less than a quarter-mile from the high school, but my son proudly drove there in a car he bought with his own money. A typical first car, it had lots of little problems and was sometimes slow to start.

One morning I was surprised to see the car still in front of the house, so after school I asked him about it. "I had to get to school early," he said, "so I just ran."

Eli F.

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WE SHIP ANYWHERE ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

93

FLAT TIRE Four students walked in halfway through the American history test my father was giving to his high school class. "Sorry," they said, "we had a flat tire."

An understanding man, Dad said that if they could all answer just one question correctly, he would give them each an "A" for the exam. The students agreed. So my father handed each one a piece of paper, placed them in four separate corners and said, "Write down which tire was flat."

Lori R. MIRACLE DOCTOR Adele was unhappy with her doctor so when her friend Shirley raved about Dr. Cohen, she decided to give him a try.

At Dr. Cohen’s office Adele and Shirley sat beside a woman who was there for a throat culture. She sat in the waiting room for quite a while with her legs crossed, reading a magazine.

Suddenly her turn was called, but when she stood up to go in, she discovered her leg was asleep. Not wanting to keep the nurse waiting, she limped and staggered toward the inner office door.

Adele nudged Shirley and let out an audible, “Oy” as the two of them sympathetically watched the woman’s painful progress.

Two minutes later, her procedure completed and her leg back to normal, the woman walked easily back into the waiting room.

As she strode past the two elderly ladies, she overheard Shirley whisper triumphantly to Adele, "See, Adele, I TOLD you Dr. Cohen was a wonderful doctor!"

Janet N.

Riddle: What am I? SUBMITTED BY: A.E.

I can wave my hands at you, but I never say goodbye. Many people think I’m very cool – although I’m really not. What am I? Last Month’s Riddle: The Case of the

Disappearing Pounds

A woman weighed 200 pounds on Monday. The next day, she weighed 170 pounds. She didn't exercise or eat healthy. How did she lose so much weight so fast?

Solution: She gave birth.

Solved by: Danny Cohen, Shaul Faena, Devorah Faham, and Sarina Dadoun.

Junior Riddle:

Never Leaves You

SUBMITTED BY: NANCY RUDY

DIETETIC COOKIES Marvin took his daughter Leslie to the grocery store to help him buy groceries. In addition to the healthy items on his wife Miriam’s carefully prepared list, the two of them returned home with a package of chocolate chip cookies.

"Why in the world did you buy those?" Miriam asked. "You know they aren't good for you!"

"Oh, don't worry, honey,” Marvin said. “These cookies have one-third less calories than the usual ones.”

Miriam looked all over the package but couldn't find any claim to that fact, so she asked, "What makes you think that?"

"We ate about a third of the box on the way home."

PERFECT ATTENDANCE Our local newspaper lists recipients of school awards. Beneath one photo the caption read, "This year’s Perfect Attendance Awards go to Lisa Stein and Morris Dwek. Not present for photo: Morris Dwek."

Stanley R.

CAN YOU CRACK US UP? Send us your most hilarious jokes, anecdotes, or observations.

Top picks will appear in this section with the name of the contributor. email: jokes@communitym.com online: go.communitym.com/jokes

94

COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

post mail: 1616 Ocean Parkway Brooklyn, NY 11223

What comes and goes but never leaves you?

Last Month’s Junior Riddle: What Am I?

What asks no questions, but receives lots of answers?

Solution: A doorbell or phone.

Solved by: E.K., Sari Bussu, Moshe Sultan, Nancy Rudy, The Hershkovich Family, Miriam L., Mishael L., Milo S, Max Sutton, Sara and Melanie Haddad, Lilian Aziz, George, Frank, Box X, Miriam Masre, Jeanne Shammah, Lorrine Almagrhabj, Mazal Faham, Glorious G., Esther Ballas, Yosef Aaron Blum, Eliezer Blum, Esther Blum, Ari Matatov, Pace Chesir, Diana Azrak, Alan Haber, Sarina Dadoun, Lee Newton Rhodes, and Aaron Matat.

Send your solutions!

online: go.communitym.com/riddle email: riddles@communitym.com post: 1616 Ocean Pkwy, Brooklyn, NY 11223 Correct solutions received by the 18th of each month will be noted in the next issue.

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ELUL 5777-TISHREI 5778 SEPTEMBER 2017

95

Classifieds / Real Estate RESIDENTIAL RENTAL BROOKLYN Newly renovated 2 and 3 bedrooms near Avenue O between Ocean parkway and McDonald Avenue.

Heat and water included, washer/dryer.

Between $2000- $2500. Parking available. No pets. 1st and 2nd floor apts available.

No fee. Moshe 347-6731948 Bedford Ave bet Ave L-M Large modern first floor apartment, 3 bedroom, 2 ½ baths, finished basement with 2 additional

rooms, laundry room (washer/dryer) and large open area, oversized living room, updated kitchen with dishwasher.

Private driveway available separately.

Photos at bedford.opi.nyc Call owner: (646) 450-2637 RESIDENTIAL SALES BROOKLYN 20's 30x100 detached private driveway 3 floors+basement 5 bedrooms/3.5 baths priced to sell./Karen / T h e B e h f a r Te a m 3479882526

1005 Ave K 50' X 100' Lot 3 story 1 family house e m a i l : 10 0 5 av e k @ g m a i l . com HELP WANTED Available for hire: To say Kadish daily for a person who does not have relatives or as a back up.

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AveJ/East I/East20’s 20’sEstate EstateDet det 22 Fam Fam 7/7.

7/7 33 rear Ave J/East 27th Det 1 Fam on 40x100. 4 bdrms plus 2 bdrms potential in attic. Fin Private drive.

Ave J/East 27th Det 1 $1.3 FamMil. on 40x100. 4 bdrms, plus 2 bdrm potential in attic. bsmt.

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AveM/East M/East28th 28th Det St. Det 1 Fam, 8 room duplex.

4 bdrms, master bath.Fin bsmt w/ Fin bsmt w/lgdrive. bdrm.Beautiful Private drive.

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Asking $2.3 Mil. No leases. Great income. All modern MIC. Prvt drive. $2.33 Mil. Mill Basin/East 64th S/DAsking 2 Fam 6/6 bdrms each apt. Large 4 room finished bsmt w/64th 2 bdrms and2full bath.

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Asking bsmt w/ 2 bdrms and full $995K. bath. Gorgeous MIC from top to bottom! R-5.

MANY MORE! CALL US! Delivered vacant. Asking $995K. Ocean Ave 34 units. Walk-up, 1 and 2 bdrm apts. Mint condition. Won’t Last!

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FOR APARTMENTS AND HOUSES FOR RENT CALL RIVKA – 917-699-2365 Ave L/Hi Teens 1 and 2 bdrm apts w/ 2 baths.

Ave Teens1Prvt AveK/Mid L/Nostrand bdrmhouse. apt. 2 bdrm apt. MIC. AveO/Ocean N/Teens 2Pkwy bdrm 1and 2 bath Ave bdrm apt.apt.

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Ave R/Hi Teens Prvt house. Duplex apt. Large 3 bdrms, terrace, centrail air, Houses for Rent washer/dryer hookup. Parking. Wont last!

Ave M/Mid Teens 3 bdrs LR/DR sunroom 2 baths.

Houses forEast Rent3 bedrooms, 2 baths. 6 RM duplex. All renovated. Fin bsmt.

Ave T/Mid Ave M/Mid Teens 3 bdrms L/R, D/R, sunroom, 2 baths. Driveway and backyard Parking. included.

96

COMMUNITY MAGAZINE

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WISHING YOU A SWEET NEW YEAR

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