How to Make Friends

So you find yourself in a new environment: surrounded on all sides by unfamiliar faces fluttering by in a furious flurry and you find yourself unsure of how to proceed so as to make some of them your friends. Worry not, for this guide will show you how

Firstly, assess your surroundings and see who it is that is nearby and who it is that you would be most willing to approach

Now that you’ve spotted an individual that you have interest in interacting with, it’s time to approach them

You’re not moving. Why aren’t you moving?

Eye contact and a friendly greeting are imperative to a first interaction - you don’t want your approach to appear too hostile after all

The greeting itself doesn’t need to be anything elaborate, a simple “hey I’m ____, what’s your name?” should work just fine.

You need to approach them, you’re still not moving why aren’t you moving, why are you just staring at them that’s not what you’re supposed to do

After introductions, you’ll want to start and keep a conversation going and start to learn about each other’s interests and personalities

Ask them general questions about themselves to learn basic information about them and keep talking about that topic until it becomes exhausted in which case you can repeat this process

All you have to do is open your locked jaw so why don’t you do it

At this point, you should have been able to have a full conversation or at least a decent interaction with your person of choice

Now all you have to do is repeat this process with others and you’ll be quick on the path to making new friends

You never even moved an inch to talk to them, you just stood there and stared. Do you not understand how creepy that looks, how terrifying that seems? It’s so simple a series of steps yet you still refuse to participate and now look at the awful atmosphere that you’ve created

Why can’t you do it