Living Well Dementia Friendly Communities | Spring 22

ISSUE 3 | Spring 2022

Whats on in your town?

Social & support groups inside Corfe Mullen, Ferndown, West Moors, Wimborne Dementia Groups

Welcome

Welcome to the third edition of Living Well – Dementia Friendly Communities.

Following a two-year gap due umbrella charity support to to the pandemic, we are so Blandford, Broadstone, Corfe pleased to pull together as Mullen, Ferndown & Wimborne local community groups and be local dementia groups, as able to produce this edition. well as many other inclusivity Each edition includes articles projects across Dorset. on local activities in Corfe We would love to Mullen, Ferndown, West Moors hear from you! & Wimborne. In future editions If you wish to contribute to this we will also pull together ‘What’s publication, please contact via on in the surrounding area’. community@fcdouch.co.uk.

Each issue aims to give an Contributions can include insight into dementia and offers upcoming events, experiences, guidance and signposting. photographs, articles or However, this magazine is not just submissions to the letters for those affected by dementia. page. We will also be providing We hope that this publication a question and answers page will help anyone who wishes to with an Admiral Nurse from live well, stay active and support Colten Care. So, if you have any an inclusive community. questions, please do get in touch.

What’s inside?

Inside this Spring issue, you will find articles dedicated to living well. A wonderful guest spot from the Verwood community, as well as an extremely useful FAQ’s put to the Admiral Nurse from Colten Care – ‘What to expect when moving to a dementia care home’.

We have introduced Growing Compassionate Communities charity – a charity who offer

Contents

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Corfe Mullen Dementia Group

Thank you!

Thank you to everyone who allows this publication to be placed in their premises for distribution. You are helping us to build an inclusive and knowledgeable community.

Best Regards From the steering committee/ publication partners of this magazine.

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Ferndown Dementia Group

11-12 15 What’s on in West Moors

Wimborne Dementia Group

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What’s on in Ferndown

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What’s on in Wimborne

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Guest Spot – Verwood Dementia Friendly Community

What to expect when moving to a dementia care home

Important telephone numbers

Publication Partners: Emma Regan

Douch Family Funeral Directors / GCC Secretary

Michael Deane

Chair of Ferndown Dementia Friendly Town

Peter Jones

Chair of Corfe Mullen Dementia Friendly Community / Growing Compassionate Communities Charity

Sue Tipping

Chair of Wimborne Dementia Friendly Community

Lynne Morris

West Moors Dementia Action Group

Contributors: Admiral Nurses

Colten Care 01202 651800 kaygibson@coltencare. co.uk

DESIGN, PRODUCTION AND SALES Production Manager Ben Pulford

ben@pulfordpublicity.co.uk

Lead Designer Louis Pulford

louis@pulfordpublicity.co.uk

Media Sales

Simon Thornton

simon@dorsetview.co.uk

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Dear friends, Since the launch and creation of Corfe Mullen Dementia Friendly community we have come a long way since our first meeting some 7 years ago when we began to explore and produce action plans in relation to how we might grow Corfe Mullen as a dementia friendly community.

It has been a long a journey, and often challenging, but these were our first steps towards that goal.

To that end I would like to appeal for your help in making this happen. If you feel you can contribute to this process, please do get back to me. If you would like to train as a dementia friend, this simply requires you to attend a 1-hour awareness session, again please make contact with me.

As a community we seek to journey with both the carer and the person with dementia, allowing them to inform and shape a dementia friendly community, a community that is safe and non–stigmatising.

Aims

• To raise awareness and understanding of Dementia in the Corfe Mullen Community.

• To create a safe and non stigmatising community where people with dementia can live well.

• To create an environment where the carer and or person with dementia can seek appropriate help and support.

Achievements The main achievements so far: • The launch of a community allotment. Open to all groups of people.

• Carer’s support group that meets on the 2nd Friday of the month 10-12noon • The creation of a Carpet bowls group that meets on the 4th Friday of the month, 2.30-4pm.

• We are planning to create a local bereavement support group.

CMDFC subscribes to the Growing Compassionate Communities aim of growing compassionate inclusive communities.

We are always looking for helpers to support these groups. If you’re interested please contact me: peterjonescipn @outlook.com

What’s on in Corfe Mullen We are Crafty Befriending Group

Carers drop in advice surgery

Carers Support Group

Douch Family Bereavement Support Group

A friendly social group for everyone who loves to knit & natter, craft or colour.

Held on the 1st and 3rd Thursday of every month from 10am-12noon.

St Nicholas Church, Corfe Mullen.

Supported and run by The Douch Family Funeral Directors An opportunity to meet other carers and share experiences and provide mutual support.

2nd Friday of every month, 10am – 12noon.

Corfe Mullen library.

Community allotment

Open to all groups by arrangement. Located at Pardys Hill Allotment site,Corfe Mullen.

Contact Peter Jones on 07715 940548 for further information.

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Open to all older people wanting information, support signposting or just want to pop in for a chat.

3rd Thursday of every month, 10am – 12noon. Broadstone Library.

Are you living with bereavement or struggling to move forwards due to a loss?

If so, you are invited to join our support group open to the community who feel they could benefit from meeting others and seeking professional, friendly support.

1st Thursday of each month, 10.30am – 12noon.

Contact Lesley Shand Funeral Service on 01202 658833 to book your place.

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Ferndown Dementia Friendly Town Steering Group Since our last publication the world has changed in so many ways for us all, and whilst we are all trying to come to terms with things changing on a regular basis, imagine how impossible it must be for someone diagnosed with dementia.

Dementia is a disease that can affect anyone at any time, young and old.

The very minimum requirement of the steering group, now 6

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part of the larger Growing Compassionate Community Charity, is to understand what it is like to live with dementia not only for those diagnosed with it, but for their carers too, and to try and help make life a little bit easier, or the services available more accessible.

It is essential to find out more from those with dementia, and their families and carers, about the experiences of living

in our community, where they feel supported and where improvements can be made. This feedback can and will direct the actions of the steering group.

Please feel free to email me on michaeldeane1@hotmail.com with any comments, concerns or questions you may have.

Michael Deane – Chairman Ferndown Dementia Steering Group

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What’s on in Ferndown DOUCH FAMILY BEREAVEMENT GROUP

Are you living with bereavement or struggling to move forwards due to a loss? If so, you are invited to join our support group open to the community who feel they could benefit from meeting others and seeking professional, friendly support. Tea/coffee and biscuits are supplied and a listening ear and help when and where needed. Cindy Weller is a local resident of Ferndown who will run our monthly support group. She can also offer one to one counselling if required. Cindy is a qualified accredited counsellor. A member of The British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP) and a member of the National Counselling Society (NCS). Being held at the Royal British Legion on the 1st Thursday of each month from 11am - 12.30pm. Plenty of onsite parking available.

For more information or to let us know you are coming along please contact 01202 872050 (please note 10 places per session).

This group has been set up by the Douch Family of which A E Jolliffe & Son are the supporting branch for Ferndown.

Fernhill Community Choir

Musical Cake Concert

Eat & Meet Lunch Time Club – an Eat & Meet Lunch

Ferndown Library

A choir started prior to the pandemic – starting back up as of February 2022.

You don’t have to be a good singer – just come along to have a good singalong.

It’s good for the soul!

Followed by refreshments.

Held at Fernhill on the 2nd Thursday of each month from 2.30pm – 3.30pm.

Please contact Liane Watson our Customer Support Advisor for further information. 01202 651800 / www.fernhillcarehome.co.uk

& Quiz once a month to encourage people who are on their own for whatever reason (widow, widowers/ carers etc) to come together in a friendly atmosphere.

Lunch will be provided from only £5 for main course, £2.50 for dessert. Members will be offered a £3 subsidy thanks to the Douch Family Funeral Directors Ferndown branch – A E Jolliffe & Son. Non-members are also very welcome. This takes place on the first Thursday of each month at 12.30pm. To book a place please phone on 01202 877706 or email poppyclub@rblferndown.org.

Following the success of previous years we are committed to offering a musical cake concert in 2022, in partnership with other Growing Compassionate Communities Dementia groups.

Please drop by regularly to our facebook page: @ Ferndown dementiafriendlytown for updates.

Knit ’n’ Natter is 10 -11:30am, every 2nd Tuesday of the month and can be booked on 01202 874542.

Bits ’n’ bytes – a digital advice group: 2:304:00pm, every 1st and 3rd Tuesday of the month and is a drop in session.

1:1 sessions with the digital champion is a bookable 45 mins slot running from 9:30 – 11:30am. This is booked on 01202 874542.

Or people can just pop into the library and book.

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West Moors Dementia Action Group What a delight it is to be reaching out and making contact again.

These past two years have been a challenge for most of us.

Whilst many activities closed with the onset of the pandemic, some have managed to keep in contact with one another. Tessa, the leader of our Gardening group, used emails at regular intervals to stimulate the sharing of what the group were doing to keep the mind and body active during the lockdowns and beyond. It has been a real source of support and encouragement for all in the group. Other groups have used regular phone calls and the ‘Community Sing Along’ group faced and embraced the challenges of zoom.

West Moors is a small network but we have tried to keep people socially connected and look forward to expanding our reach and support for those affected by memory challenges, whether through brain disease or simply

the passing years. Isolation has been one of the big challenges.

We hope you will keep in touch with those around you who may be feeling isolated. A phone call only takes a few minutes but can make a big difference.

We'd love to hear what you've been doing to stimulate the brain and keep active.

From mid summer 2021 some activities have cautiously and gradually been opening up while still observing the 'Hands, Face, Space’ routine. We have again had a Dementia Group Christmas Tree in the West Moors Christmas Tree festival with the title "I am still Me'. The tree was decorated with hand crocheted ‘forget-menot’ flowers along with diamond shapes suggesting activities that we may continue to enjoy.

As a group we planned for an Open Meeting in January to include businesses and other activity groups with the whole community, to relaunch and

Health walkers at Avon Heath re-energise the core Dementia Action Group. There is a lot of ‘behind the scenes’ effort from many quarters to get other activities up and running again including at our Library.

Do have a look at our 'What's on Page’ where hopefully you will find something that sparks your interest. If you have further suggestions and they are appropriate we will try and make them happen.

As things begin to open up more and more, it will be great to see you, either as returners or new explorers learning to live well with dementia and keeping active.

We look forward to seeing you.

Lynne (Chair of WM Dementia Action Group)

What's on in West Moors

In West Moors there are lots of great activities to stimulate the body, mind and spirit.

Community Sing-a-long

A fun and very enjoyable morning. All are welcome.

1st and 3rd Thursday each month at St Martins URC, Station Road (corner of Moorlands Road) BH22 0JW. 10.30 a.m.

Contact : Maggie - 07837 691496

Knit and Natter

A friendly group enjoying time together knitting and chatting.

At the library every Monday & Tuesday. Booking essential.

2.15 p.m. – 3.30 p.m.

Contact : WM Library - 01202 873272.

Adult Colouring

Lovely way to relax, enjoy some colouring and a coffee, and meet others. Booking essential.

At the library on 2nd and 4th Thursday each month 10.30 a.m. – 12 noon Contact : WM Library - 01202 873272

Forget-me-nots: Growing Together.

Fortnightly on Tuesdays at Sturts Farm, West Moors Road.

10.30 a.m. – 12 noon.

Sturts is a working farm and some paths are a little uneven. Reasonable balance and walking ability is needed. Ideal for those with early onset dementia, carers, anyone isolated or lonely, indeed anyone who would like to be part of this friendly gardening group. A fun morning, good company, fresh air, some gardening and refreshments.

Contact : Tessa - 01202 873201 or email: tessa.masterman@outlook.com

Community Lunch and Friendship Club Advanced booking needed, ample parking, transport also available.

Weekly on Wednesdays at St Anthony's RC Church Hall, Pinehurst Road (corner Woolslope Rd). 11.15 a.m. - 3.30 p.m.

Contact : Sylvia - 01202 892902

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Community Cafe - in a safe comfortable environment

1st Tuesday morning each month 10.30-12.30. Open to ALL. Carers Cafe 3rd Tuesday morning each month 10.30-12.30 Carers and those you care for are welcome.

Booking essential. Both are held at Moors Manor Care Home, 243 Ringwood Road, St Leonards BH24 2DW. (close to St Leonards Hospital) Covid precautions: Anyone coming into the home has to show a negative lateral flow test and a valid covid pass.

Contact : Michelle Venn, Tel: 01202 863610; Mob: 07423 635342 to book and for up to date Covid regulations.

One off and occasional events

Dementia Awareness sessions: Lasting approx. 45 minutes, learn more about what dementia is and is not, with helpful hints to assist responding and coping. Everyone is welcome to attend. They can be held in almost any communal gathering. No dates are booked as yet.

If you would like to book a date for your Club, Church or Organisation Contact: - Revd Lynne - 01425 477470 or Angela (WM Library) 01202 873272

Forget-me-not Service

Relaxed, friendly, short service followed by tea & cake in the hall, held quarterly at St Mary's, the Parish Church of West Moors, Station Road (corner of The Avenue), BH22 0JF. Dementia Friendly.

Starting again soon. Everyone is welcome.

Sunday, 15th May 2022 at 3p.m.

Contact: Revd Lynne - 01425 477470

CONCERTS: St Mary’s Parish Church also offers a wide variety of charity concerts with choirs and musicians through the year. They are held in either the Memorial Hall or St Mary's Church.

Tickets only £10 each for a great evening out.

Everyone in the community is welcome. Look out for details on posters throughout the village.

19th March 7.30pm St Mary’s Parish Church Crocks Alive - dynamic, talented, singing stars who combine an eclectic mix of show tunes, anthems, popular songs and sing-a-longs with comedy all guaranteed to lift the spirits and provide a great evening of entertainment, and also Liquorice Clarinet Quartet - brilliant musicians presenting a superb selection of music with gentle jazz, swing and classical music, demonstrating the beauty and versatility of the clarinet 12

Dementia Friendly Communities

30th April 7.30pm St Mary’s Church West Moors

An evening with Bourne2Sing Male Voice Choir who’s message is “Enjoyment through song”.

Their repertoire includes, songs from the shows. popular songs and classics from yesteryear Tickets available from Dixon Kelly Estate Agents or on the door, or…

Contact: Chris - 01202 890098 to book tickets or to find out more.

Walking: Would you be interested in a gentle

walk with places to pause along the way? We are looking at possibly introducing some safe walks near Gullivers Farm Shop, West Moors and could enjoy a cuppa together after the walk. If you are interested please get in touch.

Contact : Alex - 01202 894913

NEW at Avon Heath Country Park Green Bathing in 2022

The Japanese art of Forest Bathing, simply being in nature and connecting with it through the senses.

The benefits of being in green space are backed up by increasing scientific evidence. It can improve your immune system, reduce blood pressure and anxiety and improve mood. This is all being reflected locally by health professionals prescribing outdoor exercise through Active4Health. Here are some new ways you can ‘bathe’ in nature at Avon Heath.

Weekly Health Walks are starting from 4th January.

The walks are free, run by trained leaders and will take place every Tuesday afternoon. Walking is recognised as an ideal form of exercise for all ages and fitness levels who want to be more active. There is evidence that regular walking can help reduce the risk of chronic diseases such as heart disease, type 2 diabetes and stroke as well as boosting general well-being.

It is also a lovely way to get to know a group of like minded people. Come and join us, meeting at the Visitor Centre on Tuesday afternoons.

Contact : Avon Heath Country Park 01425 478082 for more information

Sensory Memory Walks

Perhaps you or someone you care for would enjoy the therapeutic benefits of being outdoors in a safe green space. Studies show that it can help improve memory, attention, creativity and sleep, reduce anxiety and increase positive social interactions.

Rangers will be running monthly Sensory Memory Walks at the park. The gentle stroll (max. ¾ mile) will provide an opportunity to be immersed in the wonders of the heathland through all the senses. Then refreshments.

If interested join us on the first Tuesday of every month (starting 5 April) at 11am-12noon. £3.50 per person. Booking essential Contact : Avon Heath Country Park - 01425 478082

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WIMBORNE DEMENTIA FRIENDLY COMMUNITY Wimborne Dementia Friendly Community (WDFC) was founded in 2013 with the aim of raising awareness of dementia across the town, and to ensure that the voices of people with dementia, their carers and families are heard.

One of the first actions taken by WDFC was to visit every retail outlet in the town with an information pack to help their business become dementia friendly. To date 33 businesses have signed up as dementia friends and drawn up action plans which include dementia friends awarenessraising sessions for their staff. A WDFC Steering Group member visits any new business opening in the town with an information pack.

Local churches in Wimborne have achieved Dementia Friendly Church status. With the help of Faithworks Wessex (now with PramaLife), these churches carried out an audit of their buildings so that they could identify areas which would improve access for people with dementia. Their resulting action plans included dementia friends’ sessions to raise awareness amongst clergy and congregations. A group of four churches have been offering ‘Just as I Am’ dementia friendly church services several times a year. We hope to start similar

services again in 2022.

WDFC supports two flagship projects: firstly, the Step Outside gardening group at the Kingston Lacy allotments. WDFC funds an experienced facilitator which enables the group to meet twice monthly. The second major initiative was to raise funds for the purchase of a Magic Table which offers a series of interactive light games for people with mid- to late-stage dementia. The Magic

Table is based at Streets Meadow care home, but managed by PramaLife, and is available for hire by community groups.

We organised a successful BSO Cake Concert, and, along with other local Dementia friendly Communities, we are hoping to arrange another in 2022.

All regular activities were suspended during lockdown, but most have started again or are planned for 2022.

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What's on in Wimborne STEP OUTSIDE allotment gardening group at Kingston Lacy Kitchen Gardens every Friday afternoon from 2pm, starting again in Spring 2022. Voluntary charge of £2 per person.

Contact Sarah Rampton on 07884 333117 WIMBORNE St GILES JOLLY DAYS

are an opportunity to meet people and join in activities such as music, art and crafts.

Refreshments included. First and third Mondays of the month at Wimborne St Giles Village Hall from10.30am – 4pm. There is a voluntary contribution to cover the cost of lunch and materials. Pre –booking essential, contact Sarah Rampton on 07884333117 or email injollygoodcompany@gmail.com

CRAFT and CHAT AFTERNOON is a chance

to meet people, be inspired to try a different craft and have a good natter. Museum of East Dorset, 23 – 29 High Street, Wimborne BH21 1HR on the 3rd Monday of the month, 2.30pm – 4pm. To book visit the website: museumofeastdorset.co.uk or call 01202 886116

MEMORY LANE social time, activities, advice and support at Howell House, Middlehill Road Colehill ,Wimborne BH21 2EY. Thursdays from 2pm – 4pm, £2 per session. Contact Carol Davies at PramaLife on 01202 207300 or 07736 133445 STRICTLY COME TEA DANCING at the Allendale Centre Wimborne, 1st Wednesday of the month, 2.30pm Dancing to live music provided by the Soggy Biscuit Dance Band, who play Dance Tempo, Ballroom, Latin and ‘Oldtime’ numbers. Entrance fee: £7.50 per person / £5.00 per person for non-dancers / £2.50 per person for groups of 4+ from lunch clubs or care homes.

FILM CLUB the best of the old classic

films, at the Allendale Centre, Hanham Road, Wimborne BH21 1AS This is planned to restart in January 2022. Contact 01202 887247 or visit the website: the Allendale.org

Lunches and light refreshments.

LUNCH AND CHAT Church House Lounge, High Street Wimborne BH21 1HT Fridays 12noon – 1.30pm Contact Anne Pollard k.anne.pollard@btinternet.com 16

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COLEHILL COMMUNITY CAFE St Michael’s Church Centre, Colehill Lane, Wimborne BH21 7AB. Coffee and cake from 11am and light lunches served Wednesdays from 12noon – 1.30pm Contact St Michael’s Church office 01202 841677 stmparishoffice@gmail.com METHODIST CHURCH Coffee Lounge - 4A King Street, Wimborne BH21 1DY, Monday – Saturday 10am – 12noon. Contact 01202 884474 Activities offered by Brendoncare WIMBORNE KURLING at the Community Learning and Resource Centre, 41 -44 King Street, Wimborne BH21 1EB Wednesdays 10.30 – 12noon. Contact Brendoncare on 01962 852133 Carer support OAKLEY FRIENDS a ten week free information course for those caring for someone with dementia, twice yearly starting April and September. Also meetings for friendly support last Wednesday of each month 10.30am – 12noon. Contact Judy Barnes 01202 021705 or Ann Nicoll 01202 690554 oakleycom@oakleyfriends.co.uk WIMBORNE CARERS’ GROUP monthly support group, informal chat over refreshments and regular guest speakers. Provided by Prama at St John’s Church Hall, Leigh Road Wimborne BH21 1AE on the 3rd Fridayof the month, 10.30 – 12.00. Further information by phoning 07809 224000 or email to carol.davies@pramacare.co.uk Activity offered by Age UK COGNITIVE STIMULATION THERAPY

is a programme of themed activities carried out over a 14 week period in small groups. It is a brief treatment for people diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia, which is proven to initially slow its progress and improve quality of life. Details can be found at www.ageuk. org.uk/bournemouthpooleeastdorset

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Guest Spot

Keep calm and carry on: supporting people in Verwood to live well with dementia during lockdown Verwood and Three-Legged Cross Dementia Friendly Community Association (VDFCA) started in 2014 organising activities and fundraising. However, the COVID-19 pandemic meant we had to change the way we went about things. Here is our story.

In March 2020, all our activities ceased as we adjusted to the new ‘normal’. In May 2020, the steering group had a socially distanced meeting in the Park to discuss how to move forward. We were aware that the need for support for people living with dementia and their carers was more important than ever given the isolation resulting from the pandemic restrictions. We decided to operate virtually where possible and set about changing our website http://vdfca.com/ to

include videos of activities to join in with and zoom-based events.

Prior to lock-down our monthly chair-based ‘exercise to music’ sessions were going from strength to strength, with approximately 20 regular attendees. In June 2020 six members of the VDFCA steering group met in a garden and Ann Mayo ran the class which was videoed. This video was added to our website for people to access and join in with at home.

After a few months, Ann started zoom-based exercise sessions.

These have proved very popular.

For a brief time, the group were able to meet again face-to face until the second lockdown and are now meeting again. These sessions run monthly (1st Wednesday of the month). In the autumn of 2020 another activity

was added, this one focused on ‘brain exercise’ as well as music, again facilitated by Ann and her team. This has worked very well and has continued monthly each third Wednesday, initially on zoom and currently face-to-face.

Whilst our activities were constrained, by embracing the technology we have managed to offer some support for our community. My thanks go out to all that managed to make that happen and to people living with memory loss and their carers for taking the plunge and getting involved.

Dr Janet Scammell Chair of Verwood and ThreeLegged Cross Dementia Friends Community Association Dementia Friendly Communities

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What to expect when moving to a dementia care home Supporting a relative or loved one to move into a dedicated dementia community is a challenging thing to do. At Colten care we make this as seamless and comfortable as possible.

We welcome you to come in and to have a look at our homes, come and join in the activities, come and meet our team. We recognise that this familiarisation supports that transition from home to care home. Its also important that we get to know the individual affected by dementia, we do this by coming out and doing an assessment in your own home where you’re most comfortable. We like to know everything about that individual, from what they like for breakfast, what they like for tea, what they’ve done as a career, and the things that they enjoy doing now. By doing this we can make sure that our care is personcentred and all about them.

How to cope when your loved one no longer recognises you I’m often told by relatives that one of the most difficult aspects of dementia is when that loved one no longer recognises who you are. That may be all of the 20

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time or just some of the time that they don’t recognise you, this is for a multitude of reasons. First is the way that dementia affects the mind and how we process information and the way we see things. They may not recognise you at the age that you are, they may see you as a twenty- or thirty-year-old. This can be the same for them as well, they make look in the mirror and not recognise who they are as they are expecting to see a younger version of themselves. It can also be a normal process of dementia as it advances. We recognise that this is both distressing and difficult for you and the person affected by dementia. What is important to remember is that person still loves you. As well as things like using photos and videos to aid memory, it is also important to talk about memories as well and do activities that may provoke memories; that may be baking or going for walks around the garden and talking about those childhood playdates and adventures you may have had. All these things can help provoke memory and also provoke identity and that recognition of who you are and who they are.

Guilt - “I will never put you into a care home” Sometimes we make promises to loved ones about what we will do when they become unwell.

However, circumstances change over time; back then, you did not have all the information about how things would affect you both.

You might need to reconsider that promise or decision.

Looking after someone with dementia can be a 24-hour a day job, and you might feel guilty because you are tired and flagging, or simply not able to be with the person every minute, day and night. It is important to realise you cannot care for someone 24-hours a day.

You might feel guilty because you are not living up to your expectations of what a care giver should be, or to other people’s expectations. Remember, you are only human, and it is a natural response to feel angry, distressed or resentful, at times.

It could be helpful to discuss the issue with the person with dementia, if they are able to understand, and/or other family members, so you are making these decisions together.

Anticipatory grief

I often find that whilst many relatives and carers are able to recognise feelings of guilt, grief is not as often considered. When a family member or close friend has dementia, you may experience loss even before they have died. You may find that your relationship starts to change, and you find it hard to recognise the person they once were. You might experience a sense of loss that the person no longer feels physically or mentally present with you. It is also common for people to dwell on ‘if only’ and imagine how things may have been different.

Experiencing grief in anticipation of loss is called ‘anticipatory grief’ and can happen throughout the course of someone’s experience of dementia.

It can feel just as intense as the grief felt after a death. This process is completely normal but is not always discussed as much as other types of grief.

Experiencing anticipatory grief does not mean you will feel more or less grief after your loved one has died and acknowledging your feelings of anticipatory grief does not mean that you are giving up on the person or that you love them any less.

Being gentle and patient with yourself as you grieve. There is no right or wrong length of time to adapt or adjust to your new situation. Give yourself time.

Kay Gibson kaygibson@coltencare.co.uk

Growing Compassionate Communities (GCC) Registered Charity: 1176047 www.growingcompassion.org.uk • Our mission is to raise awareness and understanding of the needs of marginalised groups in communities and discover ways to meet these needs.

• To create a safe and non-stigmatising community where marginalised people and groups can belong safely.

• To create an environment and culture where the marginalised people and groups can seek appropriate help and support.

• We also challenge stigma and barriers to inclusion.

• We seek to deliver inclusive communities for all diverse groups and peoples through the creating of partnerships and collaborations.

• We are underway with 5 local Dementia Friends groups – Corfe Mullen, Broadstone, Wimborne, Ferndown and Blandford. Working together in partnership.

For further information please visit www.growingcompassion.org.uk or email Peter Jones on peterjonescipn@outlook.com Dementia Friendly Communities

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Important telephone contacts Help & Support lines Age UK

0800 678 1174

Alzheimer’s Society Carers Support Dorset

www.ageuk.org.uk www.alzheimers.org.uk

0800 368 8349

Crane Valley Network Social Prescribers

carersupportdorset.co.uk admin@carersupportdorset.co.uk @castlemansocialprescribers

Crisp

01202 128787

crispweb.org carersupport@bcpcouncil.gov.uk

Dorset Mind

01202 551660

contact@dorsetmind.uk www.dorsetmind.uk

Dorset Open Door ‘Supporting Bereavement Together’

01305 361 361

dhc.dorsetopendoor@nhs.net

East Dorset Citizens Advice

0344 2451291

eastdorsetca.com

Help and Care

0300 111 3303

contact@helpandcare.org.uk www.helpandcare.org.uk

The Leonardo Trust – Charity No: 1086045

01202 698325

info@leonardotrust.org www.leonardotrust.org

Livewell Dorset

www.livewelldorset.co.uk

Memory Support & Advisory Service

0300 1231916

National Dementia Helpline

0300 2221122

NHS Helpline (Covid advice)

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NHS Helpline (Health advice)

111

dorset@alzheimers.org.uk

Community Contacts Corfe Mullen Dementia Friendly Community

07715 940548

East Dorset Good Neighbours

01202 804003

Ferndown Community Connectors

01202 207300 07736 133445

Ferndown Dementia Friendly Community Growing Compassionate Communities

Peter Jones

@Ferndowndementiafriendlytown

07715 940548

Oakley Friends - Carer Support – Charity No: 1047919

www.growingcompassion.org.uk peterjonescipn@outlook.com www.oakleyfriends.co.uk

01202 021705

Judy Barnes

01202 690554

Ann Nicoll

West Moors Carers Group - Alison

01202 865800

West Moors Dementia Action Group

01425 477470

West Moors Library

01202 873272

Wimborne Dementia Friendly Community

Lynne Morris

wimbornedfc@gmail.com

Transport Dial a ride Wimborne Wimborne Neighbour Car 22

Dementia Friendly Communities

darwimborne.ismysite.co.uk

07912 273722