Snowdaze: December 2015

DECEMBER 2015 | 1

SNOWDAZE DECEMBER 2015: Vol. 21, Issue #04 www.macmediamagazine.com 004c McLaughlin College, York University Toronto, ON M3J 1P3 416-736-2100 ext. 60555

Executives Editor-in-Chief Web Manager Production and Layout Manager Social Media Manager

Janae Diaz Tatiana Prisiajny Eryn Tang Jordan Madeira

Editors

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Editor’s Note

04

People, Why Are You Rushing the Holidays?

05

Celebrate Friendmas

06

Lookin’ Hot When It’s Cold

08

Netflix and Chill (Literally)

10

No Need to Fly South: It’s Cuffing Season

12

Ice Age: If Winter Were the Only Season

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Winter, Why You Trippin’?

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Tips On Surviving The Cold

News Opinions Features Arts Humour Sports & Health

Nick Catania Julia Alfano Jason Rivas Vanessa Butera Juan Lopez Tyler Drummond

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The Pile Of Snow That Is the Winter Blues

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Snow Hoez

21

The Mannequin Daze

22

Summer’s Preface

Copy Editors

Tabitha Peters Milica Markovic

23

Winter Blaze

Staff Writers

James Zhan VACANT

Art and Design Videographer Cover Artist Designer Designer Illustrator

Brandon Lorenzetti Kristen Chung Mary Anne Cruz Sandra Tacic Elizabeth Zhu

@MacMediaMag

MacMedia Magazine

MacMedia is a proud member of The Canadian University Press, a national organization of Canadian student newspapers.

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MacMedia is the official student monthly of McLaughlin College but does not speak on behalf of McLaughlin College—unless specifically specified by the Big Kahuna upstairs (in which case there’ll be a note). The opinions expressed herein are also not necessarily held by MacMedia or its staff (unless they’re really smart and dastardly written) but are a reflection of the current social outlook. Our goal is to act as an objective forum for constructive conceptual synthesis and intellectual thought—not as a community censor.

Therefore, our content is only as strong as your contribution. Every month we publish a wide variety of studentwritten news, opinions, art, poetry, humour, fiction, photography, and everything in-between. Please feel free to contact us for any reason, including publishing dates, advertising, world domination, iguana preservation, puddle-pants, the whereabouts of Godzilla, or any other “topics of interest.”

Please send all submissions and inquiries to macmedia.eic@gmail.com

Editor’s Note Oh, the weather outside is … getting pretty frightful, to be honest.

Although this winter got off to a pretty fall-like start (and I, for one, miss it), it’s finally hitting those nasty negative temperatures.

If you hate winter as much as I do, then you know that you’re dreading waking up every morning to brace the frigid trek to YorkU, whether you live on campus or in Barrie.

Well, thankfully our writers have put together the most aesthetic winter issue that you’ve ever seen. Do you need some tips on surviving the long Canadian winter ahead? We’ve got some momesque instructions on exactly how. Make sure you layer, kids!

Remember: gloves are your friends.

Have you come down with a case of the Winter Blues? They get the best of us. Check out some ways to keep your chin up – but covered with a lovely blanket scarf – during the coldest season of the year.

But then … there are those people who just don’t seem to get cold. Alas, the Snow Hoez are out and about in full force. They’re in your lecture halls in crop tops, in your coffee shops in shorts, and running through the snow in six inch heels and a dress to the club.

Like the November Issue, where we sent our best fuccboiologist into the wild to observe the (unfortunately) un-endangered species of the “fuccboi,” we also have a writer who specializes in Snow Hoez. A hoe never gets cold, right?

If you’re actually a warm-blooded human being and do get cold, however, then grab the nearest bae because it’s Cuffing Season, people! Enjoy mistletoe all winter long and long nights spent taking off long-johns. But, don’t forget to indulge in a little bit of Netflix and Chill. If you actually want to Netflix and Chill, then we’ve got a couple of movies to enjoy on those cozy nights in. Or maybe just to play in the background.

Whatever tickles your sock-footed fancy this winter, MacMedia has got you covered (but when don’t we?) Stay warm!

Janae Diaz Editor-in-Chief

DECEMBER 2015 | 3

People, why are you rushing

THE HOLIDAYS?

Milica Markovic | Copy Editor Do you ever wonder why holiday-themed products are sprouting up long before the Halloween hype has time to settle in? Yeah, I wonder the same thing. People used to prepare for a holiday around the date it’s meant to be celebrated way back when, although if they needed more time, they’d take no more than a month, since specific holidays are normally tied to certain months.

Nowadays, we get a whole bunch of made-up holidays just so companies have an excuse to sell more products. But even though businesses try to push sales as early as possible so that they make a profit, they are not entirely to blame for this celebratory craze. I must be honest: we don’t even enjoy these holidays anymore; we have just become overly obsessed with them. Holidays have gone from enjoying hearty little moments with family and friends to heart attacks over grabbing a ridiculously expensive smartphone for a child much too young to even be owning such devices.

We’re becoming more excited for these holidays than ever before; for that reason, companies force products down our throats so early, because we are insistent on buying them so early. This causes some holidays to overlap others – it makes me wonder why holidays like New Year’s Day (not Eve) are so overlooked now. Stores stay open overtime while the lineups get longer for grocery overkill and lavish gifts receivers will probably lose or abuse, while dinner stays cold since no one is home to eat it. No one is home to just settle down and enjoy each other’s company.

It’s not just because we’re materialistic, but it’s also because we get a nostalgia kick out of the holidays. We want to remember what had made us so happy in the past, and thus try to incorporate these things in our everyday lives. Adults now embrace fun holidays like Easter, which used to be seen as kids stuff. Because we are filled with childlike wonder and enthusiasm, we would naturally want to pass down this 4 | MACMEDIA

happiness to our own kids, or even younger siblings.

We are carefree during these holidays, and are becoming more so in real life. But the problem is that we are connecting our emotions far too much to the holidays and not as much to our normal state of being. We can’t wait for the holidays because we like who we are and what we do around those times… but what’s wrong with being who you want to be and doing what you want to do any day of the year? Do we just stop being who we’re meant to be once society schedules when our creativity will spark?

The holidays should be reminders of all things good in the world. We like them because of how much we want to treasure the values that these holidays symbolize, but we shouldn’t have designated days to treasure values that should otherwise be universal. Though if we are going to stress the importance of holidays, then here’s what I’d say: it’s not so much about when you celebrate a holiday, for all you early birds, but for how long you keep the celebration going.

Lots of holidays, and even occasions, are getting recognized now, and that’s a good thing for sure. But it’s not as much about the events themselves as it is about doing things you love to do everyday as well as shedding light on causes that are important to you. That’s why holidays are and should be celebrated in the first place. Holidays should be a reminder to do extraordinary things every day and to be extraordinary people everyday, because that is who we are in essence.

Holidays should not be permission to accomplish these things on special days so as to justify our laziness throughout the rest of the year. We shouldn’t have to wait to make someone’s day, whether with our kindness, humor, or amazing creations.

The more we start to reflect upon and cherish values, the more we’ll start practicing them all the time. And maybe, just maybe, we’ll be flourished with hope for humanity.

Celebrate Friendsmas James Zhan | Staff Writer Christmas has always been the time when family members get together and spend quality time with each other. However, as you become older, you become occupied with all kinds of things, like school, relationships, work, and financial issues.

With that, it becomes more difficult to visit your family.

So what can you do to make Christmas more enjoyable if you happen to be away from home? Friends! For several years, I’ve been too broke to buy a plane ticket to fly home. I always spend Christmas with my friends, who are actually more fun to hang out with than my family!

food, the Toronto Christmas Market, is a favourite place of ours. We go every year to taste different kinds of food from the vendors. It opens from November 20th to December 20th this year.

Spending Christmas away from home doesn’t necessarily mean to just “Netflix and chill” with yourself at home. There are many amazing things that you can do on such a big holiday with your friends. So grab your friends and start planning out your Christmas adventure!

As the end of the fall term approaches, my friends and I will start making plans for Christmas. After four months of stressful schoolwork, we are all in great need of some holiday time. Since most of my friends and I don’t live in the city, a “downtown adventure” is something we always look forward to. The annual Toronto Santa Claus Parade held downtown is a great way to switch your school mode into holiday mode.

The parade is held on different days every year, and this year, it’s going to be on December 15th. Santa Claus will arrive at 12:30 p.m. at Christie Pits, near Christie Subway Station. When I went with my friends last year, the parade was fantastic and it got us all into the Christmas spirit. After the parade is over, we walk to Eaton Center and go shopping. This is probably the only time of the year where we actually go shopping, as usually, we are too broke to buy a lot of clothes. When we buy new clothes, it’s for the New Year, where we hope for fresh start.

Making food is another way to bond and have fun with your friends while you’re away from home. I’m an awful cook and baker, so I always become a laughing stock in the kitchen as I attempt to make a decent dish. I helped my friends make quiche last year, which turned out to be extremely tasty. Speaking of

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Lookin’ Hot When It’s Cold Juan Lopez | Humour Editor

Nobody in his or her right mind is going out for a jog while enjoying the great -30 degree weather. Everyone is staying at home, baking Christmas cookies, drinking hot chocolate, and Netflix and chilling with bae. It takes a lot of effort to stay in shape during the cold weather, because nobody wants to leave the house. However, it’s best to start working on your summer bod now before June comes.

Unless you are a legit bodybuilder and have serious gains during the winter, it’s not bulking season. Yes, people tend to eat more during the winter, but that’s a natural response to the cold weather; the body tries to keep itself warm with the good stuff like calories, carbs and fats. Now before you start sending in complaints, I’m not telling you to starve yourself during the winter. After all, bears don’t hibernate without stuffing their faces beforehand. The answer is: moderation. Yes, you can eat whatever you want. Treat yourself to that cookie. Enjoy that triple chocolate caramel cake. But don’t have ALL of them at once. Controlling what you eat, especially during the winter, is important to staying in shape. I know how you feel. I want to eat my life away during Christmas, and I know most of you will

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to Blue Mountain to do some snowboarding or skiing, or visit your local ice rink for some skating. If, like me, you don’t know how to do any of these things, then just go for a walk. My dog loves the snow, and I take him out for long periods of time to play in it. Take a trip downtown to see how beautiful the city lights are during the holiday season; Nathan Phillips Square and Eaton Centre are popular destinations for the skating rink and the giant Christmas tree, respectively.

Staying in shape doesn’t have to be as tedious as going to the gym everyday and eating nothing but carrots and celery. Make sure you enjoy yourself, as that’s the only way you’ll manage to stay sane. Happy Holidays and Happy New Year from the entire MacMedia staff and myself!

too, so don’t feel ashamed. Allow yourself a cheat meal once a week, when you can freely indulge in whatever you want. Just make sure it doesn’t turn into a cheat day… or week.

Eating properly is how you stay in shape, but working out is what helps you burn off those Pillsbury cookies you ate. I’m the last person who should be telling you what to do, and I admit that the hardest thing to do is actually going to the gym. There is a gym an elevator ride away from my apartment, and I even find that difficult enough to go to. Regardless of whether you’re an avid gym goer, or you just like to get on the treadmill for 20 minutes, exercise is important for healthy living, and even more so during the cold weather. It helps a lot if you have someone to bring with you to the gym. Both of you will help each other out, motivate each other and ensure that neither one cheats on their super-strict-no-junk-food extreme diet (just kidding).

Believe it or not, there’s one thing you’ll actually enjoy doing that will help keep you in shape, and that’s going outside.

Despite what people say, we’re Canadians. We embrace the cold, the snow and the sleet, and we don’t shy away from the cold weather. So get out and play some hockey, head up north

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Netflix and Chill (Literally) Janae Diaz | Editor-in-Chief

Oh, the weather outside is frightful – and nights in with Netflix are so delightful. Summer is long gone and fall has seemed to stay for only a moment before making room for winter. You can’t have a picnic up by the Scarborough Bluffs, take a road-trip to Wasaga, or spend Sundays by the pool at Cabana. Say goodbye to pumpkin patches, apple picking, and other basic fall shit. It’s too cold outside for all of those lovely bae-pleasing activities, so what else do you have to do?

It’s time to get Netflix and Chilly. As a self-proclaimed Netflix connoisseur, I’m more than qualified to provide you with some perfect movies to keep you and your significant other happy on those cold winter nights.

THE HOLIDAY (2006) I think that I’ve watched The Holiday at least three times every December since I was twelve. I may or may not also watch it occasionally (more like consistently) between January and November. You and bae need this movie. Let me give you a run down: Cameron Diaz and Kate Winslet are both done with the men in their lives, so they swap houses in each other’s countries during the holiday season. Cameron Diaz goes to Surrey, England, and Kate Winslet heads to Los Angeles, California.

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Throw in Jack Black as a sweetheart, Jude Law’s sexy English accent, and some swoon-worthy romance … What more could you ask for?

JUST FRIENDS (2005) Picture this: Ryan Reynolds starts off as a caring, overweight teenager who has a huge crush on his best friend, the perfect and popular cheerleader. Of course, she’s oblivious to this, but cherishes their friendship regardless. Fast forward a few years and he’s slim, sexy, successful … and still crazy about her. He returns home for the holidays and tries to win her over with his newfound confidence. Anything with Ryan Reynolds makes for the ideal romantic comedy to watch with your boo-thang.

ELF (2003) Come on! Do I even need to explain this one? If you are somehow in the 0.00001% of people that haven’t watched Elf … You can check IMDB, because I am not putting up with your shenanigans. Moral of the story is sing “Baby It’s Cold Outside” to win over that special someone this holiday season.

FOUR CHRISTMASES (2008) This is one of the holiday movies that I love to watch when I want to laugh the whole way through it and then get that warm fuzz feeling at the end of it. Quick recap: Vince Vaughn and Reese Witherspoon both have divorced parents, who are each a little bit crazy in their own way. Like the title says, they have Four Christmases to go through in one day without going crazy themselves. A little bit of raunchy jokes here, some troublein-paradise there – they manage to survive Christmas while keeping their marriage intact.

SURVIVING CHRISTMAS (2004) Speaking of Surviving Christmas … I’ve got another romcom for you to fall in love with. Do you see a pattern here? Ben Affleck is a rich young professional who wants to spend Christmas remembering his childhood holidays, so he pays off the people living in his old home to be his family. Sound crazy?

Well, it gets better – romance, family drama, and a surprise visit from the girlfriend who dumped him when their tropical vacation went south. You and bae will get all of the feels.

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NO NEED TO FLY SOUTH;

IT’S CUFFING SEASON Nick Catania | News Editor

No matter where you look, there is a current influx of anti-relationship articles taking over the worldwide web, and I am sickened. Whatever happened to love?

All you need in this world is a cuddle buddy and a big old bottle of Chianti. No seriously, the older, the better -- and that can go many ways. I prefer experienced, but if you’re into vintage, that’s okay too.

Most people are typically floating together in the single boat, especially considering

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that many of you are only in your twenties. So, why get tied down? This boat is not ready to cast anchor; keep flowing with the tide, and perhaps you’ll bump into another boat looking for the same thing. But what happens when your boat hits an iceberg, and you have no bucket?

Swim to shore, I suppose. I’m just tired of people ranting on relationships as a means to grieve lost love... there’s more flakes in the clouds, honey.

While these “single and ready to mingle” articles have garnered a lot of attention, “cuffing” has also been a hot topic for those feeling the single depression.

After all, who doesn’t want a winter woody?

As stated in Urban Dictionary, cuffing refers to this transitional time of year where single people no longer wish to be promiscuous, and instead wish to enter a serious, monogamous relationship. People are more prone to let loose in the summer, but these frigid Canadian winters tend to tense the pelvic and other related areas. So listen up, because boy, do I have news for you. Toronto is due for some mild winter weather, which will only makes our homes hotter. Fire up the logs, because we’re in for a steamer this holiday season.

BAT THOSE EYELASHES Cold weather and glistening eyes combine perfectly during the winter frost. Nothing beats a pair of bristly blues contrasting nicely with the winter wind.

For the gents: throw on some clear mascara to really emphasize your eyeballs. If you think I’m kidding, I’m not. Your other balls will thank you.

SLIP ON ICE Someone is bound to pick you up -- off the ground, and then off to your place. It happens, trust me. The damsel in distress card always works. There is nothing more endearing than strangers with compassion.

What’s better, you’ll have someone to ice your head after being knocked on the ice and the headboard.

ACCESSORIZE WITH MISTLETOE Who needs a doorway anymore?

Bedazzle your outfit head to toe with glamorous mistletoe. You may come across as desperate, but you’ll have to cut corners if you want a cuffing companion. This will also come in handy when decorating for a last minute winter warm-up fest with your friends. Be creative!

OFFER YOUR TWIN BED Who doesn’t like a pair of twins? Even a single small bed can get lonely sometimes, and if there’s room for one, then you can definitely make room for two. The most you’ll need is a double-sized duvet cover to fully embrace the bump protruding from the mattress. Stay warm and stay safe.

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ICE AGE (If Winter Were The Only Season) Tabitha Peters | Copy Editor

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Have you ever thought about if winter were the only season?

How would you adapt? I know that we would be so used to the cold and snow by now, that none of us would have any complaints. Imagine if Canada were Alaska -- how much of a difference would that make in our lives?

Say goodbye to all the greenery, flowers, and warm breeze, and say hello to huge icicles hanging outside.

Going snowboarding and skiing would become our basic transportation, since people would be too lazy to use snowshoes. The movies 8 Below and Snow Dogs would give us good tips on how to ride a dog sled; gather up all those huskies and Alaskan malamutes! If you have a meeting across town, this is how you would get there.

Of course, there would be motor vehicles, but if snow is falling all the time, then only the huge trucks will be useful.

Each house would have a backup generator on the main level instead of the basement, because power failure would be more frequent with all the winter storms.

Hockey and ice-skating would pretty much be ruling the world; other sports would be switched to indoor play. This would give people other opportunities to find hobbies that would go along with the winter season.

Everyone would dress in heavy winter gear as if they are never looking forward to the summer months, let alone know how it feels. There is no guarantee that many animals we have now would exist if winter were the only season. The tropical birds and African wildlife wouldn’t be so popular. Domestic pets would be warm inside with their owners; however, some animals can adapt to any given environment, depending on

the circumstances.

There wouldn’t be the basics in anyone’s handbag, like gum, makeup, car keys, or even cellphones. Instead, there would be flashlights, extra scarves, gloves, and a thermos of hot water.

Not only would the little kids love it if winter were the only season, but everyone would too if that’s the only season we are exposed to. Building igloos and snowmen, along with making snow angels and having snowball fights would be the norm – as the saying goes, “Go play outside!”

Due to the storms, and the windy weather at times, reception and connections would not be as strong. People will not be as dependent on their phones or the Internet as much.

It would be slightly similar to living in the 1940s whenever it snowed a lot. Basic entertainment would be lighting a fire where everyone gathers for stories and company, and playing card games inside while drinking hot chocolate or booze. The winter season throughout the whole year would bring people closer as a whole. Disregarding the Christmas holiday coming up, if winter were the only season, it would cause people to interact more, and I think in this day and age, it’s needed, because technology is taking over our lives.

If this were only true, it would be interesting, but I’m glad that winter is only a few months long. I don’t think many of us could last an eternity with only one season. But, if we did live in an ice age, we wouldn’t know of any other season. We wouldn’t be contemplating how to survive; we would just live in the moment and enjoy life, like we are doing now.

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Winter, Why You Trippin’?

Tyler Drummond | Sports and Health Editor

Winter – the most polarizing of the four seasons (yeah, we’re going there already). It can be a time of cheer, love, and fun … or a time of wet feet, frost bite, and dread. Most people associate the negative parts of winter with the weather, whether it is the bone-chilling wind or the annoying snow.

Personally, I have two things that stand out as negatives when winter rolls around; two things meant to bring joy that, for me, just make me wish I could fast-forward through winter like the commercials on a show I DVR’d.

There are many things that stand out as “Canadian”. The three most iconic being maple syrup, beer, and hockey. And as a proud Canadian I can say: maple syrup – great! Beer – even better! Hockey … eh.

Now, I love my sports. I can’t get enough NFL and NBA, but hockey I could do without. But, of course, living in Canada – and Toronto, especially – you’ll never not see something hockey-related, especially when winter rolls around. In football, I love the hard-hitting, fast-paced action mixed with incredible athleticism and cerebral decisionmaking. In basketball, I love the athleticism, the flow of the game, being forced to play offense and defense nearly simultaneously, and the accuracy needed to consistently make shots.

With hockey, there’s not much that appeals to me. I just don’t get it. Guys skating around shooting a small puck into a net … it doesn’t connect with me. But that’s not the issue I have with hockey. The issue I have with hockey is how it seems to me to be a glorified MMA fight. Now I think fights are fine in sports; they show the passion, intensity, and adrenaline these guys play with. But hockey takes it to 14 | MACMEDIA

a whole new level. And the rules make no sense! The intense passion that Canadians and Torontonians have for hockey is one of the few (or many) things that drives me crazy about living in Toronto. If I wanted to watch MMA … well, I’d watch MMA. And the fights aren’t even good! All they are seem to be two guys holding onto their jerseys throwing the lamest punches you’ve ever seen while struggling to stand up straight on thin blades – on ice. That’s your idea of entertainment, Canada? No wonder we drink so much beer.

And while I may not like hockey, it’s only a small part of winter, which isn’t all bad. When the snow is nice and not slushy crap that cars are throwing on you as they drive by, it looks really pretty. And of course, Christmas! Christmas time is always joyful. From the Santa Claus parade, to decorating the tree, spending time with loved ones, and getting gifts – who doesn’t love getting gifts? Then, of course, there’s school!

As in, we don’t have to go. And for some, we get a whole month off! What could be better than that?

And just as you’re sitting at home, not having to worry about grades, spending time with your family, you hear it: a knock at your door. You open it to find none other than Christmas carollers. An irritant wolf dressed in holiday cheer sheep’s clothing. Then you begin to ask yourself: why did I ever open the damn door?

One of the joys of the holiday season is being able to relive all of the fun songs you used to sing as a kid. When they pop up on the radio or in commercials on TV, it brings you back to

a time when all you cared about for months was planning your Christmas list and getting to open up all those great presents.

But that also brings along the dreaded travelling Christmas (sorry, Holiday, gotta be PC) carollers who go door-to-door singing in your face. Now I live in a Jewish neighbourhood, so they certainly aren’t singing Christmas carols, but they still have their own way to get in your head. Instead of walking door to door, they drive around in an RV blasting their holiday music as loud as possible. I have to ask: Why?! Is it supposed to get me in the Christmas spirit? ‘Cause all it does is piss me off and make me wish it was over. I have an idea – how about instead of coming to my door and singing, you come to my door and bring me gifts? And if you must sing, at least bring some beer. Any kind will do, really.

Now, thankfully, these carollers don’t go around wearing full hockey gear, or I may just have to up and move countries.

Winter isn’t the only season with problems. Summer can get way too hot, and reminds me every year I don’t have a beach bod, but rather a dad bod – without even being a dad yet.

Spring always brings on the allergies, so everyone is sneezing in each other’s faces. And fall … despite bringing back my one true love of football, also brings with it another year of school, and thus another year of stress, grades, and debt.

Winter just has to add insult to injury. So, I’m praying that no crazy carollers show up at my door. But, if they do and they’re wearing hockey pads … so help me.

DECEMBER 2015 | 15

Tips on Surviving the Cold Tabitha Peters | Copy Editor

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Whenever winter is around the corner, we are always welcomed with a cold breeze, snow and ice. Some people can’t wait for winter, either because Christmas is coming, or because they just love snow. But in reality, many other people are dreading winter; no one has time to put on layers anymore, and the day you forget your scarf on a windy afternoon is the day you’re screwed.

Here are some tips on staying warm, just like freshly baked cookies: 1. It’s a good idea to wear a t-shirt under a sweater before putting on your coat. But if you wear too many layers, like three sweaters and a down filled coat, you will be sweating a lot. The sweat will become cold, causing you to feel colder.

Dress wisely.

2. Make sure you have proper outdoor clothing for surviving the winter. Legwarmers are good to wear under your jeans -- if you’re too cool to wear snow pants, of course. Wear proper, insulated winter boots to keep your feet warm. Hats, scarfs, and gloves are also highly recommended. If you don’t like to mess up your hair, then earmuffs are your best friend.

Your head emits more heat than any part of your body, so as long as you keep that part warm, you’ll survive.

3. Many people think that proper winter boots are a simple solution to not having wet socks, but that’s not true. It doesn’t matter how good of a material your winter boots are, because your socks can still get a little damp. The solution: after putting your socks on, put plastic bags on your feet, and then put them into your boots. Your feet will stay dry, along with no soggy socks.

4. Cold temperatures and snowy weather may seem like winter’s biggest downers, but the dry air can also cause lots of annoyances. In the winter months, your skin and eyes will probably be a lot drier, so make sure you take precaution. Use a good moisturizer such as St. Ives, Garnier, or Kerri, and pack some eye drops. You should also get a good humidifier if your house is dry inside.

5. Every year, it seems like there’s another “snowpocalypse” that’s going to bury us all until spring, but in reality, it’s usually just a few minor snowstorms that people take to the extreme. Still, it never hurts to be prepared for what’s to come. Make sure you have an emergency kit in your home and car. Keep everything well charged in case you lose power, and keep candles and matches nearby.

6. Make sure your thermostat is working in your home, along with knowing where all your blankets and warm clothing are. Set aside all the summer wear, and put all your winter clothing in the closet shelf you use the most.

7. Make sure you drink warm drinks, such as tea, hot chocolate, and coffee. They will keep your insides warm.

8. In the winter season, doing some exercise will keep your core on fire, and you won’t be as cold. Go jogging outside, but beware of black ice. Sometimes assimilating yourself with the cold outdoors makes you feel comfortable, but that’s how some people get frostbite if they’re out for too long. Stay active, but go back inside when you’re done!

9. If the weather is too cold to handle, and you haven’t escaped your house in months, go on vacation to rid yourself from the snow. Mexico, Aruba, and Dominican Republic are looking real good right now. However, if flights are cancelled due to the stormy weather, or if prices are too expensive, just envision yourself sitting on that sandy beach, with the hot sun tanning your body as you drink coconut water. I hear that thinking about warmth keeps you warm.

10. Surviving the cold isn’t that bad. Luckily, the winter season only last about 4 months; however, in Canada, it sometimes feels longer. The snow may disappear, but the cold breeze always lingers. If you’re still cold, then you’ll just have to embrace it … we are in Canada, after all.

DECEMBER 2015 | 17

The Pile of Snow that is the Winter Blues Jason Rivas | Features Editor

If you know me, you know I hate the cold. I sleep with two blankets all year round regardless of the weather and my standard uniform is jeans, a flannel and band tee. In the winter this switches over to my grade 12 Camp White Pine Exec sweater/ sweatpants combo that I wear religiously until the snow melts away. If this isn’t an indication of my distaste for winter, then I don’t know what is. I’m constantly overeating (“preparing for hibernation” as I like to call it) and searching for warmth and just overall complaining about how freaking cold it is. I’m easily effected by the weather and it can really make or break my mood, so the winter time is difficult for me.

All of this adds up to a very moody and cranky Yung Mijo (aka Jason). Since I’ve lived in Canada my whole life, I’ve devised a little guide to help deal with the winter blues that hits everyone at least once.

PREPARE FOR WINTER This may seem like a given, but often we get so caught up in worrying how cold it’s going to be that we forget to actually prepare for it. If you’re like me, you’ll wear a coat until it’s falling apart and boots until they have holes in them. Spending money isn’t fun as a broke university student, but I’ve decided to save up some cash and invest in some really high quality clothing to help me battle the winter. Getting together with friends to go coat shopping or finding that perfect pair of boots that’s both stylish and functional can be a great way to add fun and excitement to a generally cold and barren time. Dressing warmly is super important. I can’t tell you how many people I’ve seen wearing next to nothing in the winter (like Julia Alfano rants in “Snow Hoez”). It’s the perfect weather to rock your favourite sweater all day, every day. Want to have constant bed head? Wear a warm tuque. On a different note, I recommend loading up some Tim Hortons, Starbucks, and/or Second Cup 18 | MACMEDIA

cards. You never know when you’ll need a double-double or a large cup of tea to warm you up.

MAKE A WINTER PLAYLIST You may thing I’m referring to Michael Bublé’s Christmas albums (or any Christmas album), but I think spicing it up would really add some bounce to your step when you’re trudging through 600 cm of snow in your new boots. Throw in some tracks or albums that really make you feel happy and make you want to dance. As university students, half of our time is spent waiting for public transit to make it to our stop on time (which it never does), so having some songs to take your mind off the cold can really warm you up a bit and brighten your mood. I know I’m going to throw Disclosure’s new record Caracal and Turnstile’s Non Stop Feeling into my playlist, or maybe some of The 1975’s self titled record, or maybe the new Thy Art is Murder record, or maybe some Dance Gavin Dance … I’ll get back to you with my playlist because it’s going to be fire (hopefully fire enough to keep me warm).

ACTUALLY GET OUT AND SEE THE SUN Science has proven that people generally become sadder and less motivated in the colder months because of weather and lack of light, resulting in something called “Seasonal Affective Disorder” (S.A.D. coincidentally). Scientists are not completely sure as to why this happens, but sunlight plays a key part in plant growth, so why wouldn’t it have the same effect on other living creatures like humans? Replacing sunlight with artificial lights seems like a quick fix, but it’s really not, because at what hours you’re receiving said light is also very important. Our bodies run on a circadian rhythm (really interesting stuff, I suggest you look it up because it also effects body weight). So

bright light (ie. sunlight) tells the body’s internal clock to wake up, which explains why you feel more tired getting up at 6:00 AM for school in the winter than during the warmer periods of the year. This can be a little difficult depending on your school or work schedule, but even going for a short walk or trying to be outside for thirty minutes when the sun’s out and at its brightest can help pick up your mood. A little sunlight never hurt anyone!

PARTICIPATE IN WINTER ACTIVITIES As cold as it may be, staying indoors can lead to boredom and “cabin fever”. I know I lock myself up in my room with my heater and two blankets as soon as it gets cold, but sometimes getting out and letting that winter breeze hit you in the face is a great way to pick yourself up. As Canadians, there’s more than enough for us to do during the winter to get out of the house. A really popular activity is skating and there’s arguably no better place to do it than at Nathan Phillip’s Square. My lady friend has been trying to drag me out to skate for the past three years and I’ve somehow avoided it (I’m latino so the only ice I want to see is my glass of Coke). But I think this year I’m going to actually make an effort and go with her. Hell, even if I fail epically, at least we can all get a good hearty laugh at it to warm ourselves up. Maybe you’ll want to one-up this idea and play some hockey. Grab the neighbourhood crew and play a bit of shinny. A couple of guys I went to high school with get together every year and play a big game with an actual referee and jerseys. One of them is now a Maple Leaf player currently plying his trade with the Marlies (look up Connor Brown).

It’s a great example of making the fullest of the winter time.

Maybe try hiking or – even more daring – mountain climbing!

We’re Canadian, so this is where we shine! Do the 2010 Winter Olympics ring a bell?

PARTICIPATE IN VOLUNTEERING OPPORTUNITIES Winter is often associated with the holiday season and there is no better time to give back than to participate in food and clothing drives, or even volunteer at a homeless shelter. I’ll complain about the cold in a Northface winter coat and new boots, but I can’t imagine what it’s like to constantly have to go out in the harsh winter weather with an empty stomach and a light jacket. Lots of food drives and donation centres begin during the winter, so why not get out there and volunteer? Check in with McLaughlin College Council (or any college council) to see what opportunities are available or if you can start your own charity drive. I remember participating in a food drive at my high school and handing boxes of food and gifts to the father of one of my best friends. At the time, it didn’t click, but I realized after I left that I was handing over help to someone really close to me. It put the face of a loved one on the idea of someone in need. Besides helping someone who truly needs it, it’s a wonderful way to get involved in your community! Grab a couple of friends and help make this holiday season a beautiful one.

It may not keep you warm in a physical sense, but it will warm your heart more than a Canada Goose jacket ever could.

The one thing underlying piece of advice that you can really take from this is to not go through the winter alone. You don’t need to find a cute puck bunny or a grizzly bear of a lumberjack to cuddle up with by the fire, but social interaction is important. Being around others, whether its preparing for the cold or volunteering, can really help to distract you from what you may be feeling – S.A.D. Humans are social creatures, so interaction with our fellow human beings can be really healthy for us. Making winter memories is more fun when you have friends and family around! If that doesn’t interest you, having others around means more body heat, which means more warmth … so there’s always that.

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z e o H Snow Julia Alfano | Opinions Editor It is my responsibility as a journalist to report on many important issues such as government spending, immigration laws, and our healthcare system. Though these topics are undoubtedly vital to creating a society of well-informed citizens, I would like to draw everyone’s attention to something that has been sweeping the nation: the growing population of snow hoez (pronounced: sn-oh-w ho-ooo-e-z).

In our brutal Canadian winters, we are used to dressing in heavy coats and boots, wrapped up in thick scarves and wooly hats to protect ourselves from the assaulting winds and impending precipitation that may cause us to say “fuck, it’s cold.” However, I have begun to examine a new subcategory of humans that like to reside by nightclubs, bars or any other highly socialized public arena in which they can walk by us ‘normies’ that are bundled up like newborn babies. They seem to feel no sensation of coldness as they bear their legs, tummies or arms in the midst of freezing ass winds and zero sunlight.

These are the snow hoez; a band of men and women that seem to feel warm in short dresses, muscle tees, and crop tops even when it’s really, really, really, ridiculously cold out.

The more I observe these creatures, the more theories I develop on this global phenomenon. Is it because while everyone’s looking like the Stay Puft Marshmallow man from Ghostbusters, you look like you’re Staying Lit? Another theory is that all snow hoez have a rare case of amnesia that not only 20 | MACMEDIA

allows them to forget/ignore what season it is, but also be numb to any sensation of coldness, draftiness, frost bite, the loss of limbs, etc. I have also began to wonder if snow hoez are just a super-evolved species of human, or have actually skipped evolution all together, and have the same primal tolerance of cavemen. And of course, there is the theory that they are just a hoe, but nothing has been confirmed yet.

Now, I’m not saying it’s wrong to wear summer clothing in wintertime- if you feel confident in making that booty pop then I am not going to tell you to un-pop it. My only question is, how are you not cold? If I can’t even sit in an insulated classroom without shivering, how do you have the ability to basically walk around the North Pole dressed like you work the pole? Do you have some sort of superpower where you don’t get cold, you just get sexy? Or maybe these snow hoez were sent here from another planet to make us feel super fat and ugly in our Michelin Man-esque coats, and in that case, we’re the idiots, not them.

The Mannequin Daze Jessica Malandrino | Contributor

Like the snow — Chill and bleak.

You can gaze at the perfection on the front; It won’t reciprocate.

No warmth.

It’s so cold ─ Raw, like his soul.

Instant infatuation.

So unemotional.

I fancied anything like it.

So I wait and, wait.

Stupid me, stupid me.

He is not real.

Form so dark, I thought I’d believe it.

I change the perception, He is just a toy; Yet I am always satisfied.

It always works.

A doll, So affective.

But how?

Forget it, Stoned — It can’t evolve, it never will.

Packed, like the snow, Dazed like a toy.

Fool I am, He is not bipolar, Just a mute.

Scared— That they will judge him, He can’t have an opinion.

Plastic!

The Silence.

Oh, Wait it’s coming, he has something to say Never mind; it’s just a fake.

DECEMBER 2015 | 21

Summer’s Preface Vanessa Butera | Arts Editor

I found you at the tail end of summer.

You mended all the loose ends I brought to you.

Then, summer took its last breath and the leaves peaked into bold colours: reds, oranges, and yellows one last gushing pulse before their dying breath.

You were the summer’s bright burn, and I was the beautiful and broken autumn.

We were always on a cusp, only growing so close before the end of our rope.

I should’ve untied the strings attached to let those leaves fall and fly away with the wind, even though they were beautiful.

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The sound of your voice harmonizes with the blistering echo of the wind through my hair, and the chilling reminder to let you go.

This night embarks on the future, but time isn’t moving.

The earth is spinning backwards; my heart going into retrograde.

Winter Blaze

I thought this winter blaze would make me forget when summer burned bright, and autumn scattered the ashes.

As the glaciers make an iceberg over the shattered pieces of my heart, I long to find the flicker in your eyes – But there is nothing left to burn.

On the longest night of the year, my rigid heart drags your memory on.

While the time passed haunts me, I still feel your ghost in the wind.

Caught in the night of the solstice, the winter air surges, lacing everywhere you left traces: in my hair, on my neck, on my lips.

Even though you’re long gone, the icy flare of your cologne still gusts spontaneously, reminding me of what I lost.

As the cold makes my hands clench in fists, I grip onto what we used to be.

Now my bones tremble uncontrollably, aching for your touch.

DECEMBER 2015 | 23

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