February 2017
FEATURING: You did WHAT in Bed? Bangin’ Benefits
SEX SURVEY RESULTS INSIDE
February Love Horoscopes
ONE NIGHT STAND February 2017
Page 3 - Editor’s Note Page 4 - Bangin’s Benefits
Editor-in-Chief
Tabitha Peters
Page 5 - 3 Ways to Spend Valentine’s Day on a budget Page 6 - You did What in bed?
Features Editor
Anastasiya Ivanova
Arts Editor
Vanessa Butera
Humour Editor
Juan Lopez
Sports & Health Editor
Tyler Drummond
News Editor
Alec Pichelli
Opinions Editor
Jessica Malandrino
Page 7 - Bisexuality not Fragile Page 8/9 - Introduction to BDSM Page 10 - Valentine’s Day can be everyday Page 11 - The Slave and the Master Page 12 - Hottest Athletes in 2017 Page 13 - Preparing for a one-night stand
Staff Writer
Doris Pozo
Page 14/15 - Love Shapes Page 16 - Oh Crap
Cover Artist - Volunteer
Sam Noto
Page 17 - A Fool’s Romance
Layout & Design
Tabitha Peters
Page 18/19 - Sex Survey Results Page 20 - Sex Survey Summary Page 21 - Perks of February Page 22/23 - Horoscopes
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Editor’s Note______________________________ It looks like our famous February sex/love/romance issue is finally here. Our MacMedia staff always looks forward to writing for this month; it’s raunchy, and we can all get a little dirty. As soon as we hit February, all I started to hear was, “Valentine’s Day is coming up, what are you doing?” For the love of god, not everyone is so focused on Vday as you’d think. All I have been concerned about is finishing my assignments and preparing to study for upcoming exams. Reading week is fast approaching, but I am not looking forward to it because I know I will be busy catching up on readings. I have classes and an exam on Valentine’s Day, how romantic. I won’t get home until around 8 p.m., and just like that, the whole day is gone. I hope you readers are ready for some great articles ahead, be openminded and get ready to laugh and appreciate the art of sex like never before. Have a happy Valentine’s Day, hopefully you’re out celebrating it with the ones you love and not in studying like me.
Tabitha Peters Editor-in-Chief
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By: Tyler Drummond | Sports & Health Editor No matter your sexual identity, orientation or anything else, most of us like sex. Let’s face it! It is because it’s a lot fun. But while some may argue that there can be too much of any good thing, there sure are some benefits to jumping in the sack, as long as you’re safe and smart about it. Exercise Depending on how active you are in the bedroom (or wherever it is you choose to get freaky), sex is a great exercise and works well as an add-on to your regular workout routine. So, keep banging and get creative with it. Sleep and Stress Relief Getting off releases a whole bunch of hormones that give you a natural high and makes you relaxed. So, if you’re having trouble sleeping, or life has you wound up like a ball of stress, then go ahead and get off. It’ll do you good. Pain Relief, Cancer Risk, Heart Help Sex helps your heart. Not just romantically, but literally too. Regular sexual activity is shown to reduce the risks of heart disease and various forms of cancer. The hormones released and produced also helps to reduce stress and lowering your blood pressure too! You know what they say, “an orgasm a day keeps the doctor away.” Well, maybe that’s not quite what they say. Self-Esteem
Whether it’s right or not, our society puts a lot of pressure on sex, thus many of us put so much of our selfesteem on our looks and sexual activity. So, if you’re getting laid on a regular basis, whether it’s with your significant other or a variety of people, it makes you feel good like you’re hot stuff. Who doesn’t want to feel like hot stuff? So, keep banging people, bang yourself, bang it all! But, don’t put all of your self-worth on sex. It’s fun, but it’s not everything. You don’t need it, but it sure does help!
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By: Alec Pichelli | Sports Editor
Valentine’s Day, more like “buy your significant other cards, flowers, chocolate and/or jewelry day.” Regardless of how you plan on spoiling your loved ones, that isn’t going to cut it. Once you’ve exchanged your gifts, you still have about 18 hours of the day left, so you better have a plan on what you and your significant other will be doing. Get ready for fancy dinners and expensive carriage rides! But I already blew most of my money on the Pandora charm and roses! Well then.
Now that you’re either very tight on cash (or were so to begin with), you’re going to have to manage with the little funds you have left and find some way to make the day somewhat romantic or nice. Worry not, here are a few budget-friendly ideas to make your Valentine’s Day memorable. 1 - Home Cooked Meal. No brainer. It doesn’t get cheaper than eating at home, plus your significant other will love the thought of you cooking a nice warm meal for them. Relax and enjoy your meal in a peaceful environment. You can easily google a recipe for a fire chicken parmesan and set up the romantic Spotify playlist and go to town. Just be
careful if you don`t have Spotify Premium, the ads are a buzzkill and a half. 2 - Skating It’s still cold enough for there to be public skating rinks around Toronto, so what better way to spend Valentine’s Day than gliding in circles with your loved one? Not to mention skate rentals are just $10, and it’s free if you bring your own skates. If you can’t skate, that’s even better! You’ll be forced to awkwardly cling to each other in hopes that you knock the other one down or knock over the people skating around you. If that isn’t romance, I don’t know what is. 3 – Karaoke Bar Karaoke bars bring out the best (or worst) in people. You can’t help but laugh at how awful your singing voices are, and you’ll probably be laughing even harder after a couple rounds of drinks at the bar. But to be fair, drinking makes a lot of things easier to enjoy. It probably could be its own day plan on its own, but where’s the fun in that? Sometimes it’s the effort you put in, instead of the amount of stuff you buy to show your appreciation for your significant other. 5
By: Juan Lopez | Humour Editor Now, I don’t know what kind of shit you guys are doing in the bedroom, and frankly I don’t care, but I’m sure your partner does. I know there’s some kinky shit going on, but there are also some things that are just down-right unacceptable. Ice cream is cool but peanut butter? I don’t think so. And that mouth better not go any-where near that ass. So, with that being said, let’s talk the good shit and the bad shit that you’re doing in bed. Men Dos. Guys, I know you don’t do this often, but for the love of god make sure you clean yourself, and I mean properly. Go look at the meme about men cleaning their areas in the bathroom. Yeah, it’s disgusting. But you better believe that when it’s getting steamy, the last thing you want to worry about is body odour. Behind your ears, behind your legs, your back, your face, and I shouldn’t even have to mention your gun. Don’t stop there either. Clip your nails, keep your mouth clean, and SHAVE. I don’t know about you, but I like being pre-pared when something happens, and the last thing you want to do is take off your pants and have her screaming at your jungle. Make sure you hit the right spots: pull hair, bite her lips, nibble her ear, and kiss her neck. Make her fall asleep after, if you know what I mean. Focus on pleasing her as much as you want to be pleased; probably the best form of “treat others the way you want to be treated.” Don’t expect to smash on the first date – but hey, if she’s cool with it, just don’t hit and run. Men Don’ts. Ther e’s a lot, so I’ll keep it short and sweet. We’re men, we’re gross. Don’t burp or fart, unless you’re best friends – which is kind of weird – or dating for an excessive period of time. Don’t leave a mess somewhere that she isn’t cool with. That ruins the mood real quick and ruins the best part for you. For the love of God, do NOT call her by the wrong name. If you’re going introduce her to your friends, you better be sure as hell as to what you’re going to introduce her as. Even if it’s casual, don’t gawk at other women, that just ruins your chances of repeating. And don’t just leave right after sex… unless she kicks you out, then you don’t have a choice. Women Dos. Well, you’re women, so just keep being you. We have to come to you, and chances are, we’re thirstier, so just sit tight and wait. I guess you could dress a little sexy. As much as I like being casual, sweat pants and a baggy hoodie does not scream sexy. As long as you got the moves in bed, you should be fine. Women Don’ts. DO NOT PLAY HARD TO GET. This isn’t grade school. Just be up front and communicate to show some interest. Other than that, I think you guys pretty much have everything else down. So as long as you freaks are happy with each other, don’t smell (unless that’s your thing) and have fun, then that’s all that matters.
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Bisexuality not Fragile By: Vanessa Butera | Arts Editor So, I am the Arts Editor for Macmedia for a third year in a row. I am a fourth year English student. I am a poetess, musician, concert junkie, book lover, activist, friend, daughter, and sister. There are many identities that collectively make each individual unique, no matter how small it may seem. Among these lovely identities that I take complete pride in, I am also bisexual. My bisexuality is a small part of me. But it is still a significant part of who I am. It is something I have known my whole life. Coming to terms with my identity and sexuality at a young age comes with its own set of challenges. Not many people took me seriously, assuming I was too young to really know what I want. Most people were quick to say I was going through a phase or that my bisexual identity was not valid as soon as I expressed interest in someone of the opposite sex. Bisexuality is difficult enough for most people, straight or gay, to understand since it involves sexual and/ or romantic attraction to two or more genders. Even family and friends who claimed to “accept” me, they still tried to define my sexuality based on my past experience with partners of a specific gender instead of simply believing me when I say I am bisexual. For years, as a young queer I was told by those who I thought would support me that my sexuality was, for whatever reason, invalid. So I believed them. Throughout my teens I “went back into the closet” in a way. I chose not to label myself and was convinced I was “just figuring things out,” even though I knew myself better. Every time I had even the slightest interest in someone identifying as male, I felt an overwhelming amount of anxiety and despair regarding my sexuality. I was convinced that any attraction men had were immediately dismissed by the potential attraction I had towards women. For a long time, I was afraid to use and truly embrace my bisexual identity. Biphobia seeps into both heteronormative and LGBTQ rhetoric, creating stigmas such as “all bisexual like one sex more than the other,” and “bisexuals are more likely to cheat” and the classic “it’s a phase that everyone goes through.” These stereotypes are outdated excuses people use when they don't understand bisexuality and fear trying to understand it as a valid identity. It is easy to slip into a state of self-doubt when family, friends, community and society takes every chance to dismiss a bisexual person. They do so by trying to measure the degree in which one experiences attraction to each sex and assume that heterosexuality is the default. However, I have collected myself and taken these toxic, biphobic comments into perspective. My sense of self is so much stronger than anyone's narrow idea of who bisexual people should love and how they should live their lives. I have a beautiful life where I am open to every opportunity to get to know someone who intrigues me and to experience a unique dynamic depending on the person. I know who I am, and my love can be towards anyone! To anyone struggling with biphobia or the process of finding yourself, just remember that you are essentially limitless in who you can love, how you can identify, and how you express yourself. Remember to care for yourself and take as much time as you need to you navigate through your experiences and feelings. Your sexuality is valid regardless of the degrees in which you experience attraction. Never settle for anyone who fears or does not accept you for who you say you are. You are powerful, you are beautiful, and yes, the "B" in LGBTQ also stands for Badass! 7
Introduction to BDSM
By: Matt Dionne | Contributor My second year at York was my first year at a postsecondary institution where I wasn’t playing on a school sports team. I didn’t really know what to do with all my extra time, so I took on a lot of writing endeavours, and I partied. A lot.
One night I got a call from an unsaved number that I didn’t recognize. I assumed it was a girl I met at a party while I was drunk. I picked up the phone and my suspicions were confirmed. The girl in question told me to come over to her place. I tried to tiptoe around the fact that I couldn’t remember who she was. Eventually, I managed to get her to divulge her address without discovering I didn’t remember her. This was around 10 p.m., so naturally I assumed it was a booty call. That night my roommates from first year, Ashley and Sandra, had come over to do laundry (they were supposed to have access to a washer and dryer at the house they were renting, but, long story short, their upstairs neighbours were assholes). I got changed, told them I’d be back later, and left to meet this girl. It should be noted that, despite the fact I’ve been with quite a few women, I’m pretty vanilla when it comes to sex. I’m not into anything weird or kinky at all (my roommates were actually the ones who started calling me “vanilla” and they would often joke about how “basic” I was, because I didn’t have any fetishes or kinks). 8
When I got to this girl’s residence, things started out normal. That is, until she went to her sex-drawer. That’s right; she had a sex-drawer! In hindsight, I probably should have seen that as a red-flag. She pulled out a pair of handcuffs and said she wanted to cuff me to her bed. I didn’t see any harm in this, so I agreed. Once she had cuffed both my arms to her headboard, she went back to her sex-drawer (this was the point where I started to get nervous) and pulled out a whip that was so long I was sure there was no way she’d be able to actually use it in her tiny dorm room—I was wrong. She began whipping my chest and abdomen. “Do you like that?” she asked with a sultry look in her eye. I just grunted in response and tried to mask my discomfort.
After about five-minutes of whipping interspersed with regular foreplay activities, things returned to normal (although I was still cuffed to the bed). “Do you want to tie me up?” she asked in a breathy voice, while nibbling on my earlobe. “Uh… Sure,” I replied. I figured at the very least she couldn’t whip me if she was tied up. She returned to her sex-drawer once again and retrieved the key to the cuffs, then she unlocked them and had me cuff her arms to the headboard.
“Now, you use the whip on me,” she instructed. I reluctantly grabbed the whip and swung it gently, barely making a sound as it grazed her stomach. “Harder!” she moaned. I swung it slightly faster, but still barely strong enough to even make contact. “Harder, you pussy!” she barked. I just stood there and looked at her like a dog does when you give it a command it doesn’t understand. “Never mind, let’s switch places,” she said. “This time go on your stomach,” she added with a mischievous grin. “Hmm, I think not,” I responded as she went to her drawer for a fourth time and pulled out an enormous black dildo. This thing was so big it would have put Michael Fassbender to shame. “I’m going to use this on you.” “Uh… That’s a hard pass.” “You might like it,” she persisted. “Probably won’t.” “Ugh. Alright, fine,” she replied, rolling her eyes. “You can use this on me while you fuck me.” The next twenty minutes were extremely uncomfortable as I tried to manoeuvre myself in a position where I could also wield this massive sword of a dildo. At this point I just wanted to get the hell out of there. I figured the best way to do that was to just fake an orgasm.
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“Where are you going?” she asked as she lay sprawled across the bed. “I’m just going to take a shower real quick,” I replied, gathering up all my clothes. “Do you need a towel?” “No, it’s fine. I’ll just use my sweater,” I said as I stepped naked into the hall, carrying my clothes in my arms. I immediately got dressed and sprinted down the hall towards the entrance of the building. I threw the doors open and continued running. I didn’t stop until I got to my apartment. When I got to my room, Ashley and Sandra were still there, waiting on their laundry. “What happened?” Ashley asked. “You look like you saw a ghost,” Sandra added. “I… I need a goddamn drink,” I panted as I scoured the cupboard for a bottle of wine. I found a merlot that was half-full and began drinking straight from the bottle. I proceeded to tell them what happened, and they laughed in equal parts shock and disbelief. After I finished the first bottle, I grabbed a new one and tried to drown the memories of what had just happened. But there isn’t enough alcohol in the world to make me forget that night.
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Valentine’s Day Can Be Everyday: As it is for Me By: Jessica Malandrino | Opinions Editor For some, Valentine’s Day can be filled with hope and optimism because romance can be found quite easily, or just by telling someone how you feel can be more simple. As this day is associated with love and romance, some people perhaps wish to have someone special to spend that day with. I believe that coming out of your own shell can be done just as easily as any other day though. The pressure of finding someone or something to do is what most people talk about in February. To think that you need to do something outstanding because of Valentine’s Day is something I will never understand. Sure, it can be seen as something to look forward to in cold and icy February, but people should not depend on this day to spread love and affection. It can be every day, right? Being with someone on this particular day is overrated because if you have the right partner and a real relationship, then every day can be special. Also, if you are not in a relationship, self-love or being with friends and family on this day can be just as exceptional as any other day. For me, Valentine’s Day is every day because my partner is the love of my life. Every day that we are together is even more remarkable than any Valentine’s Day that I have ever experienced. Heat and passion for us always there, and it has never mattered what day it is. This will be the first year that I celebrate Valentine’s Day in a real relationship with someone I love. I have found that for every day we have been together in this past year, was better than any Valentine’s Day in my life. When I was single, Valentine’s Day was just a day for self-love and friends, but now, I am lucky to cherish the love with my boyfriend as I do so every day. My man makes every day Valentine’s Day for me, 365 days of the year. I show him how much I love him every day, as well. So, rock your affection for everyone around you every day so you can spend all of 2017 with excitement, reserved not just on Valentine’s Day.
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The Slave and The Master By: Doris Pozo | Staff Writer
He is the master and I am the slave The slave loves her master She waits for him until she is needed But she is always hurting Because she is only a slave and wants to be free She wants to express her love
She has so much love stored in her
She is at the mercy of her master
But her love is locked
She keeps her mouth shut
She wants her master to open it
Better to be a slave than nothing at all
She wants to be free for her love to run wild
If she so speaks! Her master might let her go
But nothing
She waits and lets her master do as he pleases
Her master stays cold
For she loves him so, for she can never say no
And her love grew cold
Year after year she stays the slave
She wants to forget she has ever loved
And the master is on his throne
Because it only brought pain
Doing what he pleases
She wants to be a slave no more
She sees how her master comes back to her
Always a tool
And the pain is suffocating
She decides to run
Why am I still a slave? Why does my master still want me? Why doesn't he set me free?
For a love ever raising
What do I want? I still believe in unconditional love
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HOTTEST ATHLETES IN 2017 By: Tyler Drummond | Sports & Health Editor Katie Lou Samuelson (UCONN Women’s Basketball) In her senior year at UCONN, it was Katie Lou’s time to really step up and become the main offensive weapon to help continue UCONN women’s basketball dominance. Perhaps, she is the greatest current dynasty in sports. But a lot of pressure has been put on her to keep up the tradition since star player Breanna Stewart left for the WNBA as the #1 overall draft pick. Well, here we are midway through the season, and UCONN is still #1 and undefeated. Oh, and she’s smokin’ hot. Like, damn. Charlotte Flair (WWE) While the outcomes may be predetermined, the simple fact is that pro wrestling requires great athleticism to perform at the highest level. As the daughter of the legendary Ric Flair, she has a lot to live up to, but she blows away expectations night after night. Charlotte has been on an incredible roll while looking mighty fine, too. She’s clearly fit and in incredible shape, she also has abs that would make anyone jealous. Charlotte’s looks are just as stunning as her ability in the ring.
Tom Brady (NFL) We all know Tom Brady has the rings, the supermodel wife, the model looks and the skill, but he also has the age too. At 39 years old, going on 40 this summer, questions every year seem to be when will Brady fall off the cliff and when will he retire? And yet, every year he just continues to get even better than before, and as you are reading this, he is just mere hours away from his record SEVENTH Super Bowl appearance. Whether or not Brady walks away from Super Bowl LI with his fifth ring, he is the greatest quarterback to ever play and still one of the hottest athletes both on and off the field. Steph Curry (NBA) Whether he’s being Steph Curry with the shot, or Chef Curry with the pot, Steph continues to be on fire. He has back to back MVPs, an NBA Championship and the most adorable family in sports. The best part is that he just keeps getting better. Even with the addition of an elite scorer like Kevin Durant, the “baby-faced assassin” continues to show he is not only the greatest shooter in the NBA today, but the greatest shooter to ever live. 12
By: Tabitha Peters | Editor-in-Chief Let’s be clear here, we are all of age that a “onenight stand” is acceptable for at least once in our life. Although it’s hard to prepare for these types of nights when they are sometimes very unexpected. How do you prepare for something you don’t know when it’s actually going to happen? Coming from a girl’s perspective, it’s just natural we shave our legs and make ourselves smell extra special, apart from having a killer makeup look when we know we may meet guys on a night out. If you’re a Tinder user, just make sure condoms and a bottle of lube (yes, people still use lube, especially if you choose to use the condom) are in you purse. Every time people meet up with their matched one, most of what ends up happening is left with a one-night stand. We always have big handbags that we carry around that just hoard junk. Whether you plan on getting laid that night or not, it’s always good to keep an extra pair of panties in your purse in case of emergencies: getting your period, or sleeping over at a friend’s house. A pack of gum, and floss should be in every bag you own. You don’t know when you’ll have that nasty piece of food wedged between your two front teeth and the guy you’re with pretends not to notice, but then won’t look directly at you. Yeah, don’t let that happen. If you are preparing for a one-night stand and know for sure it’ll happen, here are some helpful tips: Apart from shaving your stubbly legs, you may want to shave your bush or get a Brazilian wax done a few days before. Wear perfume or scented creams; when you’re ruffling through the sheets, you’ll quickly realize the uncontrollable amount of sweat that appears. Pack a tooth brush if you’re a germaphobe like me, and always have deodorant in the bottom of your bag.
Wear something that emphasizes your ass when he takes off your pants, something that makes him say, “dayuum,” followed by him grabbing it. I prefer to wear cheeky lace underwear; it curves perfectly around your rear-end and holds it snug, giving a little tease with the see-through lace. With bras, don’t wear anything padded, let your nipples show underneath your clothing. I don’t know what it is about guys and nipples, but as soon as they see them, they go straight for it. Nipples are a turn on to play with, but just with ours. I like to wear a frontal laced-down bodysuit, you know the ones that were so popular at the end of 2016 and everyone wore them with jeans. Yeah, those are sexy as hell. So get dirty, and just be prepared of what’s to come. Maybe you’ll have a one-night stand this Valentine’s Day.
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Love shapes By Anastasiya Ivanova | Features Editor Lyuba Grishchenko stands at the narrow entrance of Centennial Infant and Child Centre, at the corner of St. Clair and Yonge Street. She nervously combs her pixie-styled black hair with her fingers while listening to the instructions of the Centre’s senior teacher, Sue Wilson. Parents are about to arrive to drop-off their children, and Grishchenko needs to pick-up on the routine quickly. It is close to 8:30 in the morning on January 7, 2013: Grishchenko’s first day of her final placement semester. After that, she will graduate with a degree in Early Childhood Education from George Brown College, specializing in teaching children with disabilities. Now she concentrates on Wilson’s guidance while they breeze through the classroom, its dining room, storage room, and staff room. Her heart skips a beat when she hears the Centre’s front door open. Mrs. Wilson’s voice is replaced with the chatter of the first group of parents and children. Grishchenko hurries towards the door, the foamed floor squeaking under her crocs. Her face freezes in a smile. Finally, she is becoming a part of something meaningful: she can make a positive difference in children’s lives. But she doesn’t expect the difference one little life is bound to make in hers. By 9:30 a.m., the classroom is buzzing. Grishchenko, Wilson and the junior teacher, Jenny, organize the room for breakfast. Wilson has partnered up with Grishchenko to assign the children to their seats around the mushroom-like wooden tables in the dining area. For the winter session, the Centre has registered 15 children aged between 18 months and three years. Twelve are with disabilities and three are without disabilities. Although this ratio is not ideal, the school has one of the most successful integrative programs in Toronto. “Hi, baby boy,” smiles Grishchenko, crouching next to wheelchairbound infant. He doesn’t respond. “Ms. Lyuba, this is Mihai,” says Wilson, hovering above them. She has just assigned Grishchenko to Mihai. At the beginning of the semester, each teacher is assigned a group of children. But since Grishchenko is on her placement, she gets only one child. Mihai is two years old and lives with severe Cerebral Palsy, which is a chronological neurological disorder that affects his body and muscle coordination. Grishchenko quickly learns that Mihai is the most severely disabled child in the group. So, Wilson shows Grishchenko how to pick him up, carry him, feed him, and put him to bed. But handling him isn’t challenging; the challenge is being patient with his development and remaining optimistic about the long-term results, which are unpredictable. Although his spine and head are supported by braces, Mihai still can’t control his hand movements. He often can’t comprehend external stimuli – a side effect of his condition – which sometimes leaves him living in oblivion and unable to connect with his peers and Grishchenko. Despite these challenges, Mihai almost immediately grew on Grishchenko. She
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knows he needs her.
Grishchenko sits on the foamed classroom floor, her back pressed against the wall that divides the classroom and the Centre’s hallway. She positions Mihai on an assistive low chair, facing her. She holds one of his arms with her hand, trying to make him reach for a cube she squeezes in her other hand. She calls his name, trying to get his attention. But his eyes never fixate on anything. In fact, for the past several days, since she started working with him, he has hardly acknowledged her. She is a stranger. She drops the cube and pushes it aside. She pinches his fingers between hers and starts moving his arms back and forth, bending them at the elbows “Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily, life is but a dream,” sings Grishchenko. When she gets to the last verse (“Row, row, row your boat, gently down the stream. Throw your teacher over board and listen to her scream”), she yells quietly, shaking his arms. Mihai locks his blue eyes on her face and opens his mouth in a big ha! Grishchenko beams. She pulls out her phone and snaps a photo of him while he stares at her. She feels ecstatic. For the rest of that afternoon, Grishchenko sings to him nursery rhymes and snaps photos of him every time he responds to her or the objects she is showing him. Every day after that, Grishchenko and her supervisors document Mihai’s engagement in class. His parents, Mr. and Mrs. Iliescu, celebrate every photograph Grishchenko shows them. They have never had so much of Mihai’s daily life preserved. After all, they shared with Grishchenko, Mihai’s condition is so severe that the specialist is inconclusive on how long he has left to live. He is a ticking bomb. But Grishchenko doesn’t see him that way; for her, he lives life like everyone else: through his own eyes, he creates his world, which often he takes for granted, often brings him joy and makes him smile, often is cruel to him. But it is also a world that always surrounds him with people who love him. So, Grishchenko lives life with him every working day of the week, and on the weekends, Mrs. Iliescu keeps her informed about him. Grishchenko even has begun creating collages out of the photographs she has collected of him. She gives these collages as gifts to him, his parents, and her supervisors. She makes sure every day for Mihai is meaningful. Mihai passed away suddenly on Valnentine’s Day, February 14, 2013. On that Wednesday morning, Grishchenko receives that dreadful call at work from Mrs. Iliescu. She invites Grishchenko to Mihai’s funeral, which was scheduled for the coming Sunday, February 19. Grishchenko takes the rest of the Wednesday off. She grieves in the months that followed. Grishchenko completes her placement and graduates in her program with excellence. But she doesn’t apply for job openings in integrative schools. It is not to be ignorant that stops her. The wish not to forget Mihai stops her, because in her love for him, she can’t move on with this career. “His little life taught me that life, hope, and faith are sometimes unfairly cruel,” says Grishchenko, “except love.”
Love shapes.
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By: Alec Pichelli | News Editor Sex is a more beautiful thing than we give it. It isn’t just about fucking the brains out of someone you think looks bomb; for some, it’s the most intimate way of connecting with someone you love, a way of expressing the way you feel. When you “do the dance with no pants” with someone you care about, you only strengthen the bond you have with each other. Unless of course you’re just hooking up, then by all means, disregard the earlier excerpt. Regardless of the circumstance; having sex with someone will (naturally) give rise to emotions from one party or both. Now one of two things will happen: the two of you either go off the rising passion that has just been created or begin living your lives together (not literally, that’s crazy), or nothing happens and you eventually both move on with yourselves. I’m here to tell you about the latter. Once you have sex with someone, you can almost never look at them the same again. You find yourself picturing them naked when you simply glance in their direction. The curves of their body, the touch of their skin to yours, the fiery passion you felt with them. All of those feelings will some way or another rush back when you’re with them again, and this is normal. You want to relive that feeling with them again. Unless it was a bad time. The bond that you created with that person, like it or not, isn’t going anywhere anytime soon and this can be agonizing sometimes. Maybe they go to the same school with you, the same classes, or they even work with you. You go through your day-to-day routines with this person so often that it’s numbing your mind. Seeing that person again and having those memories flood your mind almost every time might hinder you so much that you try to avoid seeing them altogether. Sure, it might seem a little weak and unnecessary, but you’ll live with that for the moment to spare yourself the pain. Maybe you’re not like this at all. Perhaps you’re one of the lucky ones that can have sex with someone and feel completely at peace after it’s all said and done. But perhaps you aren’t as lucky as think you are. Maybe the pain that’s felt is a sign of the bond that was created, something beautiful and everlasting. Sure, it might not be as strong as it was before, but it’s still there.
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By: Vanessa Butera | Arts Editor
Tortured artist
Cigarette smoke
With a heart that bleeds
Soothes your broken heart
Hopeless by the piano keys
Keeping you oblivious
Dwelling on the past
To lover's ecstasy
You crave a love so close
Scattered in the clouds
But you're always alone
A poetic existence
We could've had the masterpiece
You tell me its bad timing
But you would rather make your own art
But you seek love interruption
Glassy blue eyes
Thought you could give me
You love rock and roll
The love that I need
But the heavy metal weighs
Thought your heart was true
On your heavy heart
But you're just dazed and confused
Rough musician's hands
Your voice desperately croons
Careless with violin heart strings
But I can't wait forever for you
Breaking everything you touch
Helpless lover, who do you make
Making a mess of mosaic gold
A fool out of more?
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44% THINK ONENIGHT STANDS ARE RISKY BUT WILL DO IT ANYWAYS 22% ARE COMPLETELY AGAINST IT
TOP 3 PLACES TO HAVE SEX:
YOU’RE TOP 3 PREFERENCES ARE :
PASSIONATE ROUGH KINKY
YOUR SEXUAL PREFERENCE
BED COUCH SHOWER
WHAT MAKES YOU ORGASM MORE? 51 % would give up Masturbation 49% of you would give up Never Receiving Oral again 18
1
If had to choose between both
FAVOURITE POSITIONS:
COWGIRL/REVERSE COWGIRL
DOGGY-STYLE POPULAR FETISHES: Tattoos Hair pulling
MISSIONARY 69 STAND AND CARRY
50% don’t use toys in the bedroom, how sad.
FAVOURITE ROLE-PLAYING SCENARIO:
TEACHER AND STUDENT COP AND CRIMINAL BOSS AND SECRETARY NURSE AND PATIENT JACKIE AND KELSO
71 % WOULD FAKE AN ORGASM What if there was no Condom? 56% Would have unprotected SEX 38 % Would do everything but SEX 6% wouldn’t do anything
2
48% have sex whenever they can
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SEX SURVEY SUMMARY (referring to the sex survey results on the pervious page) By: Juan Lopez | Humour Editor So obviously, more men did the survey than women, because we’re obviously thirstier... just kidding, it was the ladies who dominated the survey this year – 63% Female, 36% Male, with a sprinkle of 1% Other. Sexual preference is 58% Male, 31% Female, 8.3% Both, and the rest being Other. I mean, I’d date me too if I could, but I cant, so I’ll just stick to women. Kidding. Relax, we’re talking about sex. As long as something’s going in a hole, someone’s happy. Here’s where things start to get interesting. 47% of people are in a relationship, 45% are single, and 8% are in limbo, “it’s complicated” status. Well, uncomplicated yourselves. You either fix it or you don’t. How do you expect to have sex if you can’t even work out a couple problems? I’m just going to leave these pictures here, but basically, you guys like to f#*k. Now I’m sorry, but for those of you who chose I only do it to orgasm, there has to be more than just that. If that’s just the case, get a vibrator or a fleshlight. One-person orgasm machine. Also, take a look at How Often do you do the Nasty. Y’all are freaks… I like it. I’m sorry to those in the once a month/once a year category, but we have to get you some action ASAP. And what do you mean, whenever I can? Does that mean all the time or never? Better be the former. Favourite positions, looking good, looking good. Pretty much a tie between cowgirl/reverse cowgirl and doggy. That’s a tough choice, but I’m leaning more towards doggy. Ass all the way. Now THIS surprised me. I did not even think this would be close. If you were forced to give up masturbation or receiving oral sex, 51% of you would give up masturbation while 49% would give up receiving oral sex. HOW IS THAT EVEN CLOSE? No offence, but you guys would’ve had some baaaad experiences with mouths to think that your hands can do a better job. Christ, that’s depressing. Oral sex man, all the way. No brainer. Another CRAZY close tie. For Ideal Threesomes, exactly 42.6% said two girls, one guy and two guys, one girl. I’ve always found that both the men and women I know generally prefer two girls and one guy, but hey, that’s why we have this survey; learning new stuff everyday. Watching porn, no brainer, you have to do it. Men or women, we all have needs. W eekly won by a landslide, with once in a while being the second highest result. Now fetishes, that’s some primo information there. Or so I thought. A lot of you don’t have any, but the ones that do sure enjoy tattoos and hair pulling, pretty soft stuff. No feet fetishes in there, what a shame, I was looking for something to spice it up. Again, what makes you orgasm more, no brainer, intercourse won, with masturbation in second and oral in third. Hand stuff was fourth and anal came in last. Really? Hand stuff? More than anal? Most popular place to have sex is in bed, with strong showings of couch and shower in second and third place respectively. And finally, the money maker. Have you ever had sex at Y ork? 40% Yes, 50% No, and 10% Not Yet But I Plan To. Damn right you better, and make sure you lock the doors in Vari Lecture Hall.
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The Perks of February: I am Pampered Twice in Two Days By: Jessica Malandrino | Opinions Editor Happy birthday to me! Goodbye and farewell 23. Twenty-four here I come. Amethyst is my birthstone, Aquarius is my horoscope’s sign, and February 12th is my birthday. This month is my favourite time as it’s super exhilarating for me. Most people hate the snow and the coldest month of all, but for me, it is the most exciting time in all twelve months of the year. Although I have so many assignments, I am also waiting for graduate school responses, and this time is the heaviest work load in the school’s year. I’m still trying to make the best of it. Two days before Valentine’s Day, I get to celebrate my birthday with the people I love the most. I get to party, receive presents and go for free dinners. Then, I get a reading week when I can relax all I want. What more can a girl ask for? I am so excited! Can I blow out my candles and eat some cake already? Two days later, I get to celebrate the occasion of Valentine’s Day, spending it with the person I love the most. Lucky me! I get the perks of Valentine’s Day twice in two days. Again, I get to party, receive presents and go for free dinners. Being a winter February baby isn’t so bad now, is it? Even though this month is the shortest of the year, I have such a great time doing all the fun stuff that I want. My family, friends, and boyfriend look forward to spending these special days with me. No other time of the year I get the perks to do whatever I want, except for February. I will be treating myself or lavishing with something, while you are reading this.
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By Anastasiya Ivanova | Features Editor (With sources from Radko Hristoff, Master Psychic)
Aries
Cancer
February will bring you change in your love life for a greater good. If you are single, you may find a person who you share mutual attraction and with whom you will try to commit. If you are in a relationship, any problems you may have in your relationship will lose meaning, and you will be able to enjoy your living love. Nothing will look the same when you see the world through this overflowing joy, Aries.
In February, you will focus on your emotional attachments and needs. You may crave love ever more this month and you will invest yourself in receiving and giving more love. If you are single, be careful, because you may be a bit blinded and you may end up with a person who is not right for you. If you are in a relationship, you may ponder over whether the love you experience is enough. Don’t sell yourself for less, Cancer. You deserve the love you crave for.
Taurus In February, you need to show some compassion and readiness to make a compromise with your love partner or the person you are interested in. Remember this month, everything is possible through mutual understanding. Try to avoid drama, conflicts, and emotional outburst. You have to find the middle ground that makes you the person you care for happy. Look through the eyes of your loved one, Taurus, and experience the harmony you share in your love.
Leo
Gemini In February, you may need to take a break from love. If you are single, you may start reconsidering whether you are looking in the right direction, or the person you are interested in is actually the one you need in your life. If you are in a relationship, you may start evaluating how beneficial your partnership is. Are you giving too much for what you are getting, Gemini? When you answer this question, you will find what true happiness in love means for you.
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In February, you will experience a big shift in your love life. You may suddenly fall in love or fall out of love. This shift may be a bit unpleasant, but when you move past it, you will feel cleansed and nourished. You will be able to build or rebuild the love relationships you have devoted yourself to either before or during this shift. Do not be afraid from the changes, Leo. This month you are on a path to discovering a greater and more fulfilling love. Virgo In February, you are going to be very defensive over your love partner, relationship, or the people that interest you. But you may have some trouble expressing your emotions, which may cause you to enter some conflicts. These conflicts may come from your partner or love interest’s wish to take control over you, or from people affecting your relationship. Be patient and stand for your love and emotions, Virgo. Through conflict, love grows.
Libra
Capricorn In February, you will have to give a great deal In February, your loved ones will support you to your partner or your love interest. You may be greatly. If you are single, you may expect sudden forced to demonstrate natural leadership in your exist- pleasant surprises, where some people may open up ing or potential relationship and show that you can for you more. But be careful not to mistake compastake a stance for your love. The key for you is to stop sion for love. If you are in a relationship, you and your with promises and intentions and to start acting. By partner may reveal yourselves more to one another to nature, you are very contemplative, but it is time to set rules of your love and define your roles. Be open, stop contemplating and take bold steps in your love sincere and clear-headed as to what love is for you, life. Shine on, Libra. Capricorn. Scorpio In February, you will experience love in its most mature form that will give you hope for a better future. If you are single, someone may hint to you that he/she is ready to commit with you in a serious relationship. If you are in a relationship, you may consider taking in on a next level, such as moving in with your partner or starting a family, if you already live together. This month the love you experience will make your life worth living, Scorpio. Sagittarius In February, you may experience disappointment when it comes to love. Some of your plans may not unfold the way you wished them to, or the relationship you are in may not go the way you expect. But don’t despair! What is left after these disappointments is the truth about love for you, your true partner or true relationship. When this happens, you will become ever more confident in love, Sagittarius. Seek the truth, no matter the circumstances.
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Aquarius In February, love will be yours. If you are in a relationship, you and your partner may focus on making your relationship more harmonious, feeling complete as a single beating heart. Your masks may fall down and you may see the true nature of one another. If you are single, you may finally find the true love you have been looking for, one that lasts a lifetime. But remember, Aquarius, even the differences between you and your loved one should fulfill you both. Pisces In February, you will realize that love goes far deeper. You may seek deeper and more fulfilling connections with your loved ones. After all, even if you are surrounded by comfort, this comfort is meaningless if love is missing. You may devote to become more aware of the true nature of love and embrace the individuality and sincere character of the ones you love. Fall in love with love’s true face, Pisces.
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My friend walked in on me going down on a guy. I quickly got up, went to her, apologized and then whispered to her, “I forgot his name...can you introduce yourself so you can get it for me?”
A few years ago I was seeing this girl who invited me to spend the weekend at her family's cottage, just outside the city. We were fooling around in the hot tub when her dad came outside, naked, and discovered us, mid-coitus. Apparently he had also been planning a romantic getaway for that weekend. After we got dressed, he drove me back into the city, which was about an hour, in complete silence. hands down the most awkward car ride of my life.
My boyfriend once asked me to dress up as a chicken while he rubbed his dick in my hair
When she says "wrong hole" and I'm like "oh sorry my bad" but I knew what I was doing.
40 minutes of oral.
My vagina farted and I thought he thought it was a real fart so I ran to the bathroom.
I went on a tinder date, and while hooking up, she started kissing my neck, at which point she stopped, looked me dead in the eye, and said "you have an incredible Adam's apple."