New Year New You

by Melia StockhaM

It’s that time of year again.

The twinkle of the holidays has faded away, and the “new you” you pledged to be as the calendar flipped to 2023 is waving at you in the rear-view mirror – that’s if she was able to show up at all. Your brain met your best intentions with mild disinterest or utter disdain, and at this point you’ve got a better chance of winning the lottery than seeing those resolutions through.

Okay, so I don’t have statistics to back that up, but in my experience as a productivity coach I can tell you with authority that these grandiose declarations of change almost always go nowhere. There is literally a phenomenon called the “January Gym Rush” that accounts for these unfulfilled resolutions – people flock to the gym at the first of the year and are gone within weeks.

Sound like you? No? Liar.

We’re all guilty of wanting to change, declaring things will be different this time, and then retreating in shame when we fail. We should all take solace in knowing we’re not alone. But if it’s so predictable that we suck at following through on commitments to change, shouldn’t we be better at it by now? The short answer is “kinda.”

One of the biggest mistakes I see people make when taking on these challenges is trying to replicate a successful change because they see their own, or someone else’s success as a template for all change endeavors.

In reality, no two changes are alike. Every time we want to start (or stop) doing something, we need to take a step back and review our current situation. Here are a couple questions I’d encourage you to consider:

1

Am I trying to be like someone else?

I’d love to blame “social media influencer” culture for this phenomenon, but the Debbie Gibson hat I tried to pull off in the 1980s is a good example of how striving to be like others isn’t a new concept (and it’s rarely a successful one). Far too often I’ve seen people covet what others have. They see someone behaving in a way that they see as “correct,” and they spend an exorbitant amount of time, energy and money trying to replicate it. News flash friends: You’re not them. (A stylist once told my mom, “You’re never going to look like Meg Ryan.” I think we both took that to heart.) Pretending to be like someone else is exhausting, and I guarantee you will burn out fast.

For lasting change to happen, you have to first embrace who you are and what works for you.

2

Am I working for myself or against myself?

We need to stop trying to fundamentally change who we are at our core. If you’re not a morning person, you’re not going to get up at 5:30 a.m. to get on the treadmill. You just won’t. It doesn’t matter what some fitness guru says. If you’re not a 5:30 a.m. person, you’re not going to be a 5:30 a.m. person. Instead, think about when you do have energy. Is it 10:47 in the morning? Great. 10:30 p.m. Sure. It doesn’t matter what time it is. If you don’t have the energy, you’re setting yourself up for disappointmen

Make it easy for the real you. Not the you that you wish you were.

I’m not saying you shouldn’t check out a new idea. Maybe you’re a 5:30 a.m. person and you never realized it. But if you feel like you’re sliding back into a behavior you wanted to stop doing – or falling off the proverbial wagon after starting a new routine – considering if you’re working against your natural instincts might help you find a better way.

You get to choose.

So why not take another crack at those changes you wanted to make? Or here’s an idea … don’t. Instead, how about you resolve to meet yourself where you are? Maybe your “new you” could be a version of you who is kind to herself. Choose to change out of a healthy headspace rather than a place of selfloathing, or you can choose not to change. It’s not a requirement. You’re doing great.

INTERESTED IN MORE IDEAS ON LIVING YOUR MOST PRODUCTIVE LIFE?

Stockham’s book “The Productivity Spectrum” offers a fresh perspective on how to get over your obstacles so you can achieve what you set out to do. The book won’t tell you your business or try to make you more like someone else. Instead, it will help you discover the most productive you that you can be. n

Melia Stockham has over 15 years of experience in professional development specializing in productivity, work engagement and positive psychology interventions for organizations and individuals. She is an executive coach, consultant, researcher and author. Her research has been featured by the International Leadership Association and the National Decision Sciences Institute. She’s also spoken to audiences across the country on making the best out of their time and energy.