In conversationwith aGippy farmer

GIPPSLAND Jersey’s 2023‘Farming Conversations’calendar includes the stories of 12 Gippsland farmers. The free calendar is available from Gippsland Jersey’s website.January’s storyfeatures achat withTom McMillanfromSale, whotalks about hisfather Ian, who was diagnosed with aggressive cancer and could no longer run the farm.

How long have you been in the dairy industry?

Igrewuponthe family farmand I’ve been full time in the industry for 11 years now.

Did you go to school in Sale?

Yeah, Istarted at Bundalaguah Primary and finishedinSale.After school Icompleted acertificate Ill in Agriculturefollowed by the certificate IV

Tell me what is it about dairy that you love?

Ilike the challenge of it; it’s rewarding to see the results of your hardwork each year.

How many kids are there in your family?

Thereare fourofus, I’m the oldest, my sister,Lavinia, and two younger brothers, Will and Tim. All us boys arehome working on the farmand my sister helps afew days aweek between her nursing career Have you always had astrongbond with your dad?

Yeah, definitely. We’ve always worked side by side since Iwas akid.

So, Tom...a little bit about your family situation that had you come back to Gippsland in ahurry?

So, Ifarmed at home for six yearsfull time and at 22 Imet my partner Steph, throughfriendsofours. She livedinthe Kiewa Valley. After ayearoftravelling to see eachother, theopportunitycameup to move to the KiewaValley too. Stephhad agoodjob andwas studying at the time. I worked for alarge family-owned dairy farm not far from wherewelived for the next threeyears and we travelled back home every few weeks to see the family. Up until Dad got crook.

What did your dad say in that phone call? Did he specifically ask you to come home?

In July 2021 Dad askedmetocome home for a week to run the farm. I thought, ‘well if Dad’s asking me to come home, it must be pretty serious’.He’d had sometests come back and neededurgent surgery. As Iwas travellinghome, Mum and Dad weredriving to Melbourne. The cows had just started calving and Iended up staying for four months. Dad was hospitalised for three weeks after doctors removed 3.6 kilograms of tumour and affected tissue. Three months later hewent back tothe doctorsfor scans, only to discoverthe tumours had aggressively returned.

Dad wasn’t sureifhewanted to start treatmentasthings looked pretty grim, but after talking to the family he decided to give it ago. It took seven months, two different trials of chemotherapy and three rounds of genomic testingtoeven diagnose the cancer properly and decide the next trial of treatment, which was immunotherapy. The efforts of Mulgrave PrivateHospital and Peter MacCallum Cancer Centrehave been amazing.

How does it make youfeel knowing that your dad is sick and that without amiracle his health will deteriorate?

It’s hardtobelieve therecould have been amiracleafterhis initial diagnosis, but his recent results with immunotherapy have been incredible. Fingerscrossed these results continue into the future.

We’resothankfulfor every daythat we get with him.

Is there an understanding that you re taking over from your dad?

Yeah, that’s what we’reworking towards now that Steph and Ihave moved back to Gippsland. Dad’s still very much involved though.

How do you and your dad enjoy time together?

We enjoyworking alongside each other and getting jobs done. It’s good to talk about things and bounce ideas offone another Safe to say, it’s been arough journey, but Dad’s coping well. He shows up every day and does what he can.

Have you changed the way you manage your feelings and emotions as aman becauseofyour Dad getting sick, Tom?

We definitely talk moreabout certain things and take our health moreseriously than before. It’s been abig wake-up call.

Can Iask you apersonal question Tom? Have there been tears betweenyou and big heart moments, breaking down thosebarriers between fatherand son?

Yeah of course, there has been with the whole family. We werealso extremely close to losing my youngest brother,Tim ayear earlier after he had abad motorbike accident and was flown to the Royal Children’s HospitalinMelbourne.It’sbeenatough few years.

Whatare you doing to look after yourself,Tom?

Inormallyjumponthe dirtbikeand disappear for aday, or weekend,with mates. I’m prettyeasygoing and I’vegot plentyof good people around me to talk to. Just talking about it isprobablythe biggest thing.

Once upon atime that was unheardof; just keep it to yourself and move on and whatever But no! It’s definitely something peopleare abit moreopenabout these days. One of our neighbours, and good mate, Andrew, organized agroup of locals, and members from theHeyfieldLions Club, to cart hay for us back in January. This was amassive help.

What’sbeenyour big take away from the journey with your Dad?

You’ve gotta look after yourself, check in with yourself and your family.

Forget the typical farmer attitude of ‘it’ll be right’.

Formoreonthe Gippsland Jersey Calendar,turn to page 39.