Caclin March 2016

Lincoln University Students' Magazine

O'WEEK RE-CAP NEWS IN BRIEF FARMING IN KENYA SNAPCHAT PICS

Issue 2 Mar 2016

Caclin Issue 2 | 1

6 StudentsAtLincoln LUSA.org.nz lusa.nz

8 EDITOR & DESIGN Julia Wills

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz CONTRIBUTORS Sam Budd | Vanessa Rhodes Aimee Kingsbury | Abigail Jones Shaun Snoxell | Dilani Kasundara Hettiarachchi

ADVERTISING Kate Ward-Smith

SALES@lusa.org.nz

9

Contributions can be sent to:

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz PRINTER Caclin is printed

by Wickliffe

Caclin is a member of the Aotearoa Student Press Association (ASPA).

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Contents

28

FEATURES 6 | News in Brief Just in Case you were MIA 9 | O’Week Re-cap The Good, the Bad and the Cringe-Worthy 17 | Outward Bound Win a Scholarship to Reach Your Full Potential

31

18 | Aunty Flat-tack When Flatting Situations Turn Ugly 19 | Creative Writing Extracts from you

20 | Farming in Kenya A Summer Farm job where you have to Teach

the farm Manager to Drive a Tractor...

24 | LUSA Needs You! LUSA is Looking for a New Vice President.

Could this be you?

27 | Food Saving Week Cutting the Waste one Meal at a Time

REGULARS 4 | President’s Column 5 | Editor's Column 12 | Stuff Worth Doing Around Town 30 | Food for Flatters 35 | Sooo Accurate Horoscopes

FUN STUFF 14 | This Month in History 31 | Tongue in Cheek Quiz 32 | Snapchat Photoboard

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34 | Random Laughs

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Words from the Prez I hope you guys are starting to get into the swing of things and enjoyed our O’week, we sure did! If you’ve got any feedback on what you liked and what you think could be improved, drop in and see us, we’d love to hear it!

Tips from the Prez: •

You’re not actually that busy. Take that trip to Dunners and still be back in time for Sunday roast.

We had an awesome turn out at all our events, particularly Toga and Kiwiana Night - thanks for coming along, it was a

•

Keep in touch with the ‘olds’. They will be the ones sending care packages when you can’t afford two

lot of fun!

minute noodles.

Did you join a club at Clubs and Markets Day? If not, it’s not too late! Pop into LUSA and we can give you all the

•

You are only as good as your tools. Make sure your laptop is not going to kick the bucket when you need

details and tell you who to contact so you can sign-up.

it the most.

We’re pretty busy here at LUSA planning the next set of events, including the International Night, Protect Your

•

Two Panadol: Four water, is the perfect ratio and the

Future - Get a Job Evening and the Easter Cocktail Party!

key to not waking up feeling like your brain wants to

So, keep an eye out for these events because they’re set

bash its way out of your skull.

to be a hell of a good time!

•

themselves.

Has your class got Student Reps? Student Reps are really important because they represent student opinion, provide feedback to lecturers, HoD’s and Deans so that

•

like something you’d be into? Come to LUSA and talk to

•

like to know more about Lincoln and Christchurch? LUSA has the Linc-me-up programme that’s just the thing to help you make those connections. You can sign-up to be mentored by a more seasoned students or be the seasoned student yourself. Flick an email to Vanessa at student.support@lusa.org.nz for more details.

Keep submitting to the Caclin, we’ve had some great stuff sent to us but we’re always stoked to have some more, particularly all those cheeky snapchats we keep getting…

LUSA and LU are working together on the “Dream Lincoln - The Student Experience” project, with a survey to find out

The Fresher Five! It’s going to happen. Have a pie and get over it.

Vanessa (SAS) or your lecturer before class.

Are you finding it a bit tricky to make new friends, or you’d

Get amongst it. There’s a load of clubs, activities and events happing on campus. GET AMONGST IT!

problems can be sorted out and they give LUSA and LU tips on how to improve general aspects of Uni life! Sound

But Seriously, assignments. They aren’t going to do

•

On a more serious note: Remember, sh*t happens, but there is always someone you can talk to or get help from, whether it’s me, LUSA’s Student Advice and Support Coordinator Vanessa, someone from Student Health, your RA, or a mate, don’t be afraid to ask, because it could all be sussed out over a cup of tea.

Vanessa Rhodes LUSA Student Advice and Support Student.support@lusa.org.nz Dr Dunn and his team at Student Health healthsupport@lincoln.ac.nz 03 325 3835

what students really want, coming out in early April. We hope you enjoyed your time (and the free food) at ‘The Workshop’ and we thank you for your thoughts about what would be your ‘dream Lincoln’. We look forward to the survey coming out.

AimeeKingsbury PRESIDENT@lusa.org.nz LUSA President

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From the Returning Officer I have accepted the nomination of Ryan MacArthur for the position of ESD Rep on the LUSA Board. Given Ryan is the only nominee I hereby give notice that any Lincoln University Student may formally object to this nomination in writing to executive.director@lusa.org.nz If no objections are forthcoming before Noon on Tuesday the 15th of March, Ryan MacArthur will be co-opted to the LUSA Board.

Paul Mathews 8 March 2016

Gidday Team!

Letter from the Editor

My name is Ryan MacArthur and I am in my 4th year

Wow, what a month it’s been! Getting my first edition

here at Lincoln and 1st year of postgraduate study in a Masters of Applied Science, looking at Farm Quality Assurance programs and Irrigation Efficiency. I’m originally from Otago - the home of your current Super 15 rugby champs!

of the Caclin out and the good ole orange Orientation packs, which were filled with lots of goodies and of course O’Week! It was great meeting most of you, whether it was chatting at the Clubs and Markets Day, helping with marketing for an event or club, serving

I am running for Environment, Society and Design faculty rep. on the LUSA board for 2016.

Lincoln has treated me well over the last three years and I’m keen to get stuck in and give something back to the university and its current students and staff.

Having been in the ESD Faculty for the previous three years, I’ve seen both its strengths and weaknesses. I’m keen to develop these weaknesses through experience within courses I’ve taken under other faculties.

There is significant room for improvement, particularly within communication and I would love the opportunity to work on your behalf to develop this with staff and LUSA.

you a sausage or burger at one of our BBQ’s or taking your photo in the photo booth or on the D-Floor at the Toga Party or out at Addington. I hope you all had as much fun during O’Week as I did and managed not to embarrass yourself too much...hey, who are we kidding?!

As we now settle into the working year and I am starting...yes, starting to get the hang of this Caclin thing, I would love to hear your feedback. Sudoku is back and I am loving receiving your articles of your travels and short stories and of course the crack-up snapchats. Keep it rolling in team. Love your work.

If you see me kicking about campus feel free to come have a chat. Up the landers for 2016!

Ryan MacArthur

ryan.macarthur@lincolnuni.ac.nz ESD Rep.

Julia Wills

CACLIN@lusa.org.nz Media Manager/Caclin Editor Caclin Issue 2 | 5

News in Brief

NEW VICE-CHANCELLOR

Professor Robin Pollard has been appointed the position of Vice-Chancellor. After a four month international selection process, Lincoln University has secured Robin from the role of Deputy Vice-Chancellor at the University of Central Lancashire in the UK. Robin started on the 29th of February.

‘THE WORKSHOP’ OFFICIAL OPENING & BLESSING The old Arts Workshop has been completely redesigned as a wicked multi-purpose space that you can now call your own! The 540m² building took five months to gut, fix it up and refurbish, with some very cool decor, I must add. “The architecture of The Workshop and how it sits on Farm Road reflects an almost forgotten piece of Lincoln University’s field research heritage. The opportunity to reinvent and revitalise the building by creating a vibrant, contemporary fit-forpurpose student centric space within its existing unloved shell has been extremely rewarding for everyone involved,” said Chris Stevens, the Lincworks Property Manager.

An official opening (with ribbon cutting) was held on the 9th of February, with a karakia and whakatau lead by Te Mairiki Williams.

Staff got to take a tour around the new space before students started and got the pleasure of taking over the space to make it their own.

President Aimee Kingsbury said, “It’s an outstanding, much-needed addition to the University. It is multi functional, including kitchen facilities, meeting rooms, a relaxed lounge and a number of different eating, sitting and entertainment areas. This diversity means the space has the ability to cater for all students, both domestic and international.”

University Chancellor Tom Lambie thanked former President, Kahlia Fryer for her huge part in making the idea

CLEAN AIR POLICY The new Clean Air Policy has been confirmed, which means there are now designated smoking areas on campus. So, if you are a smoker you cannot smoke anywhere on campus except in the designated areas .

Soon there will be signage and ash receptacles in designated smoking areas. The future leaders group will be assisting Lincoln University to be totally smoke free in the not too distant future. It has been a long journey and the future leaders group have put a lot of time and effort into getting this policy off the ground. *The orange areas show the designated smoking areas on and around capus.

DAY STUDENT GATHERING The ‘Day Student Gathering’ was held at The Workshop on the 17th of February, “It was a great success!” Heather Gee-Taylor said, and was really enjoyed by all who came.

With a turnout of around 15 first year day students, who were very keen and eager, said they found the evening very beneficial. It was a casual get together with food, banter and table tennis. We hope to do it all again next year!

THE STUDENT EXPERIENCE IDEAS SESSION Thursday the 3rd of March hosted an all student ideas session at ‘The Workshop’, asking students what made their time at Lincoln University an enjoyable, inspiring and successful experience and if not, why not? We wanted you all to ‘Dream big & be creative’ and you did!

With savouries and cake on hand and lolly jars placed strategicially on tables, the discussions began and idea soon developed into a sea of yellow post-its on the Workshop walls.

‘How could the Campus Environment be more enjoyable, functional or easier to get around?’

‘When you first start at Lincoln, what would help?’

‘What is important regarding your Safety & Security?’

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‘What have you seen in other places that Lincoln should have?’

These were some of the questions provided to stimulate thought and discussion along with visual imagery.

The ideas session was divided into four main points; 1.

Welfare - Personal & Student/Community Wellbeing

2.

Day-to-day Stuff (Admin, Transport, Finding a flat etc)

3.

Delivery - How you receive Student Experience (Online Communication, Student Hub etc)

4.

Social - Having a good time & meeting people.

We had 222 sign up to the workshop and at around 1pm, we peaked with about 50 in the room.

Lincoln University will use this information to better understand Student Experience preferences to inform: •

Review & allocation of the Student Service Fees

•

Replacement of Earthquake Damaged Facilities

•

A Student Experience Strategy

The next step will be to use this information to develop an online Student Experience Survey which will be sent to you soon after Easter. So, a huge thank you to all of you who came down and gave us your input, it was greatly appreciated! We hope you had fun.

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Re-cap

WOW! WHAT A WEEK O’WEEK WAS! Stunning weather, with 28 plus degrees most days, as well as clear blue skies.

Tuesday morning saw LUSA put on a BBQ

BREKKY to feed 350 hungry students on their way to lectures, from

BURGERS, BEERS & BEATS featuring Lincoln Uni’s very

8.00am onwards. We’re

own DJ Tibz, kicked off O’Week on 10.30am Monday 22nd

glad we could help kick

of February. Held over at Lincoln Uni’s brand spanking new

start your second day of

student space, ‘The Workshop’.

lectures.

LUSA staff and 2016 Student Board members, slaved over some searing BBQ’s, cooking over 1000 burgers in the space of three hours! It was great to see so many new and old faces.

Guy Cater’s’ amazing HYPNOTIST NIGHT entertained a 400 strong audience on Tuesday evening, Hypnotising audience members into doing crazy (and incredibly cringe-worthy) things – resulting in one student stripping down to his jocks and getting jiggy with himself while hypnotised into believing he was watching a porno - featuring his grandmother! My my.

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Re-cap Thursday brought with it a stunning sunny day with a high of 32 degrees, for LUSA’s CLUBS & MARKETS DAY, which was held outside the Rec Centre.

56 stalls were onsite this year, which included 30 affiliated Campus Clubs from a variety of genres including food, beer and wine, sports, religious, social, international and faculty clubs, ready to show new and returning students what their Clubs are all about and eager sign up new members!

LUSA’s most popular O’Week event, TOGA PARTY, took place on Wednesday evening. Featuring a fluro/glow theme for 2016 and saw 1500 glow sticks given away by 10pm.

Wellington based DJ Anikin and local Christchurch favourites, Assembly Required, entertained over 700 attendees throughout the evening. This was an epic night with a great turn out.

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A new event, SLICE OF HEAVEN KIWIANA NIGHT, took

Saturday 27th February brought with it another beautiful,

place over at the Dining Hall on Thursday evening. Featuring

sunny, hot day for the POSTGRAD LUNCH ON THE LAWN.

a mix of Kiwi music, iconic Kiwi cuisine and a Kiwiana Quiz;

Initially due to take place on the Sunken Lawn from 2pm

based on just a few of the many Kiwiana icons. The free

and feature a variety of lawn games, the cloudless sky and

event attracted 19 teams and over 250 students including

temperatures of 34 degrees saw the event move under the

post graduates, international students and a few rowdy first

shade of the patio outside the Dining Hall while a few of

years.

the 69 attendees still braved the heat to have a couple of rounds of pétanque, soccer and swing ball!

O’WEEK 2016 was just a taster for all the awesome events organised by LUSA still yet to come! So be sure to like LUSA on Facebook to keep up-to-date, as we don’t want you to miss out on anything!

Five free buses transported 250 Lincoln based students to Addington Raceway where the O’WEEK SIGN OFF event feat. Soulsystem was held. Aimed at second and third years, this event was an initiative of the 2015 Student President and

The Stats!

Board to ensure that second and third (and even fourth year) students were included in the O’Week 2016 line up!

• Over 30 hours of Entertainment • Seven Great Events • 1000 free burgers were consumed at Burgers Beers & Beats along with 144L of Orange Juice and 100L of beer!

• 300 Bacon Butties & 800 Sausages were given out for free by LUSA to fill the stomachs of Lincoln Uni students!

• 1500 Welcome Packs given out • 28 degrees was the average day temperature during O’Week • Over 1450 tickets sold to our LUSA O’Week events • Over 460 hours of work by LUSA staff members and Student Board during O’Week • 1500 free glow sticks were given away at the ToGlow Toga Party Caclin Issue 2 | 11

Stuff Worth Doing Around Town!

Pride Three Boys Brewery Tour Downtown Farmers Market

The Star City2Surf

Every Sunday

Sunday 20 March

A dynamic weekend Farmers Market, incorporating The Food Collective, showcasing wonderful regional produce.

The Star City2Surf event is a fun event for the young & old, the serious and not so serious, individuals, corporate teams, schools & families. It is all about participation, team building, reaching personal goals, & having fun!

A strong focus on fresh produce (local where possible - fresh fruit, vegetables, butchery, fish, bread, cheese, deli, eggs, coffee & juices mmm) |The Commons, 70 Kilmore St |FREE |9.30am - 4.30pm |Facebook

The 14km & 6km means there is something suitable for all runners & walkers. Celebrate your achievement with friends & family at the Ferrymead Playing Fields with live music, children’s entertainment, prizes to give away & so much more! |Pioneer Leisure Centre, 75 Lyttelton St, Somerfield

Saturday 26 March Want to see how some of New Zealands finest craft beer is made? Get up close and personal with Three Boys Brewery in a private tour with one of our brewing experts.

Three Boys Brewery are opening its doors for a special discounted Brewery Tour for Christchurch Pride Week.

A few light nibbles will be provided as well as some complementary tastings. |Three Boys Brewery, Ferry Road |R18 |$20 |5pm - 6pm |threeboysbrewery.co.nz

|$20 |9am |Facebook

Shabby Chic Market Day

PlaceMakers Le Race

Sunday 3 April & Sunday 1 May

Saturday 19 March

Stalls of vintage items, linens, clothes, costumes, jewels, collectables, retro, kitsch and kitchen, antiques, craftworks, furniture, restored, revamped and recycled items.

Devonshire Teas in the chilled out courtyard accompanied by sweet sounds, bubbles and popsicles. |Rochester Villa, 21 Connal St, Woolston |FREE Caclin Issue 2 | 12

The Great Kiwi Beer Fest Saturday 2 April The Great Kiwi Beer Festival is a celebration of the brewing industry in New Zealand, hosted by industry experts, and featuring a range of more than 300 local, national and international brews.nectar. |Hagley Park North |DASH TICKETS |11.30am - 7pm |Facebook

A mixture of challenging hill climbs, fast flats & exhilarating downhills that travels from Christchurch, across an extinct volcano, to the French surrounds of Akaroa.

For those not wanting to do the whole route as an individual there are options of doing it in a 2 or 3 person team. | Cathedral Square, Cathedral Square | R15 | 7am - 2pm | lerace.co.nz

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This Month in History 1995 1864 1956

The first match for the Auckland Warriors was played, in the New South Wales Rugby League’s Winfield Cup competition.

Arthur, George and Edward Dobson ‘discovered’ Arthur’s Pass when they were searching for a route between Canterbury and the West Coast.

After 22 draws and 22 losses in 26 years of test cricket, NZ has it’s first test cricket victory. Defeating the West Indies by 190 runs in the fourth test at Eden Park.

1940

1839

1834

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Jockey Y-fronts hit NZ stores. ‘If old-fashioned underwear makes you squirm, switch to Jockey’, urged adverts that also promised ‘real masculine comfort’ and ‘no bunching discomfort’.

Honey bees were brought to NZ,

by Mary Bumby, who landed at the Wesleyan mission station at Mangungu, Hokianga, in March 1839, and brought ashore two hives of honey bees from Sydney.

Wow, we’ve done a complete 360.

NZ’s first flag chosen by Chiefs from the Far North, who met with James Busby at Waitangi to choose the flag of the United Tribes of New Zealand, which was recognised by the British admiralty.

Main Clinic: 9 Washington Way (in the central city) Monday Clinic: 25 Shands Road (Hornby Heartlands)

Under 22? Your visit is FREE! We can help with:

• Contraception (including emergency contraception, IUDs and implants) • STI testing & treatment • Pregnancy testing & referral.

Ask for an Appointment at www. familyplanning.org.nz Call us to see if you can have your appointment over the phone Family Planning Christchurch and Hornby Heartlands.

Phone (03) 379 0514

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When sh*t gets UGLY… Ask Aunty Flat-tac When flatting situations turn ugly coz…

• your landlord keeps coming over unexpectantly • two of your flatties got drunk and hooked up • you feel like you are the one always cleaning • you like your flat mate and don’t know what to do • you have received an expensive internet bill after your flatty has downloaded a heap of stuff.

Aunty Flat-Tac has experienced first-hand what it is like flatting with people who may be a bit outside the box and landlords that think the fridge is there personal supermarket! She has even lived in a flat with 16 other people!

So, this is a new section in the Caclin that will hopefully become a regular. Aunty flat-tac is here to help in your time of need. Send through your dilemma to student.support@lusa.org.nz and get some well experienced, intuitive and helpful flatting advice. Plus, I’m sure there will be a few laughs along the way.

Fuel the Brain on Campus!

Mrs O’s Opening Hours: During Term Time Monday to Friday: 8am till 8pm (longer if required) Saturday: 11am - 8pm Sunday: 12pm - 8pm With a range of ready made sammies, fruit salads, smoothies & milkshakes you won’t be missing your Mum’s home cooking anytime soon.

Sandwich Bar (Forbes Building, Ground Floor, Next to Bookshop) Opening Hours: During Term Time Monday to Friday: 9.30am - 2pm The best custom made sandwiches. Instant Coffee, Tea & Hot Chocolate for $1 per cup, plus a range of cold drinks.

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Hungry Tradie (located behind Library) Opening Hours: During Term Time Monday to Friday.

7.30am - Barista Style Coffee 8.30am - 1.30pm Hot Food! Hot Dogs, Hot Chips, Hamburgers, Rice and Noodles, plus a range of cold drinks.

Beans, Beans...

AN ALIEN UNMASKED by Abigail Jones Aliens Come to Lincoln

J’Nas walked into the dining hall, swiped his student I.D card and strolled along the buffet, smiling a greeting at the catering staff as he went. Suddenly he stopped. Something was different this morning. An empty fruit basket sat on the little side table. There was no fresh fruit! His usual option for with his porridge (a cooked cereal dish traditionally eaten by humans as the first meal of the day) was gone. After careful scrutiny J’Nas selected several of the little plastic containers of spreads. There was tinned fruit of course and the thick, sugary syrup was delicious, but it tasted faintly metallic to him.

Peeling back the tops and scraping the contents into his porridge, J’Nas pondered why humans chose to get spreads in non-biodegradable plastic containers when they were trying to be sustainable. He concluded that students were probably all jam-gobblersand this was catering’s way of preserving jam. He took his first mouthful. The jam and honey were so sweet he wished he had tried them sooner. It was still not as good as fresh fruit though.

A few minutes later J’Nas finished, got up to leave and staggered. Astonishing! His equilibrium appeared to have deserted him. Now that he thought about it something definitely was not right; normally the dining hall did not spin. This must be a fascinating new invention of the humans’. They were using students as test subjects in a spinning room. He decided to miss class and visit the ducks instead. Ducks were far more interesting than lectures.

J’Nas cleared away his breakfast things and left the dining hall. His progress would have been a lot quicker if furniture had not kept relocating into his intended course of egress.

J’Nas was an alien on Earth. His purpose was to pass as an undergraduate student at Lincoln University and study the dominant endemic life form. He was doing quite well too. Months ago J’Nas had discovered alcohol, but found it had no intoxicating effect on him. This space engineer turned researcher was experiencing a first for his species; none of his kind had ever been drunk before.

That night J’Nas lay in his room feeling miserable.

The pulsation of music from outside exacerbated the

pounding in his head. He felt like his exoskeleton

shade of a tent... it was a sea of bizarre costumes and

was about to shatter. Then his laborious neurological

humanity doing inexplicable human things. J’Nas

processes arrived at a solution. There was nothing he

turned his head constantly trying to assimilate all the

could do about his headache, but he could remove the

information. The constant loud music did not help. He

external stimulus. He sat up slowly and reached for

could feel a headache starting even as his traitorous

his camouflage device. A short, squat shadow slipped

foot started to tap.

through the gloom around the halls. It peered at the

“Come on, let’s dance!,” Jennifer and Linda pulled the

buildings intently, hunting, searching... finding.

human males and J’Nas towards the area in front of

A grey-painted metallic box was opened. A limb was

the stage. The rest of the day passed in a blur of noise,

extended. The figure halted, considering the contents.

motion and pretending to drink alcohol. It would not

A decision was reached and the hand was withdrawn.

turn purple without his camouflage device; a colour

At the same instant every light in the halls went out

changing costume would be rather difficult to explain

and the powerful beat that had throbbed in the air

and not everyone here was intoxicated enough to

was silenced.

accept whatever explanation he could contrive.

J’Nas crept back to his room unnoticed.

The next morning J’Nas joined Mary in the dining

Security soon located the cause of the power cut.

hall. She had not attended Garden Party, which

Someone had found the central fuse box and pulled

probably accounted for the fact she was at breakfast

the main fuse, cutting power to every hall. The

this early, J’Nas mused.

missing fuse was found in the morning sitting on a

“Morning Jonas, how was Garden Party?”

nearby windowsill. No prints were found on the box

“It was sufficiently pleasurable. We enjoyed ourselves,”

or the fuse.

J’Nas paused then decided expansion was required.

A few weeks later it was time for Garden Party. J’Nas

“The band was popular and I was particularly

walked towards his friends, admiring their costumes.

entertained by the costumes.”

John was wearing a giant, fluffy yellow costume

“No questions about the deeper meaning of Garden

with orange tights which looked similar to a popular

Party?” Mary was grinning, which J’Nas assumed

children’s cartoon. Evan wore a skin-tight costume

implied facetiousness.

that covered his body and head. It was red and blue

“Does it have a deeper meaning?” J’Nas asked

with black lines. Jennifer and Linda wore identical

innocently.

black costumes with horizontal yellow stripes and

“Probably not.”

antennae on their heads. They were a colourful group

The conversation moved to other topics. J’Nas finished

and J’Nas was struck by how creative human couture

his fruit and opened the little container of honey. He

could be on occasion. He slid into the group.

took a tiny mouthful and felt his vision start to sway.

“Wow Jonas, that’s an incredible costume. Where’d

He pushed the golden spread away regretfully.

you get it?” Evan inquired.

J’Nas had discovered how his species could become

J’Nas offered his prepared explanation, “Online

“drunk”, how to turn off that irritating music and

somewhere.”

had a great time at Garden Party. He figured pleasure

Of course, the humans did not know that the dark

was all the point humans needed to do something

green exoskeleton and the round head with large,

and personally he believed that was an excellent

golden eyes and vertical pupils were due to evolution

motivation provided no one was hurt. He had no

rather than clever costuming. He had left the

intention of telling his superiors of that conclusion

camouflage device in his room. J’Nas gestured towards

though; they might decide he had learned enough

the gate with his long forelimbs, “Shall we go in?”

and call him home. J’Nas was having too much fun on

Inside the gates hoards of people were dancing

Earth to leave now.

near an open-air stage, walking about with plastic cups of the alcoholic beverage beer, sleeping in the

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FARMING IN KENYA Imagine a summer farm job where you have to teach the farm manager to drive a tractor...

Over the Uni break I had the opportunity to volunteer with a not-for-profit organisation called Afri-lift in Kenya. Afri-lift takes street boys out of the slums in Nairobi, and trains them up into agricultural careers. The boys live on a training farm for two years. On the farm they do a mix of practical farm work, and also study towards a primary school level qualification. When they get out of the programme, Afri-lift finds the boys jobs on farms, taking the boys from a life of hopelessness and crime on the streets to productive employment. Pretty cool stuff.

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Last year I met up with the director of Afri-lift to hear about the project, and he invited me over to volunteer with them. So I ended up working on Afri-lift’s Kenyan training farm for the summer, helping to improve farm operation and profitability, and also train the boys.

The experience was amazing! The farm bordered on communal land, dotted with those trees you see on National Geographic documentaries. Migrant herdsmen carrying spears wandered past the farm with flocks of skinny goats. Gazelles grazed over the back boundary, and no-one on the farm could drive a car, let alone the tractor.

Much of Kenyan agriculture, and African agriculture in general, is made up of very small farms, often not growing much more food than the farming family need for their own survival. There is massive potential for improvements in yield and profitability of these farms, but many constraints that prevent this potential being realised.

The farm had a range of enterprises for training purposes, so I was exposed to Kenyan style drip irrigated cropping, dairy, pig keeping, and beekeeping.

It was great living with the Kenyans on the farm, eating their food, attempting to learn their language (Swahili), and learning about Kenyan agriculture. I was the only white guy living out on the farm, but I would travel into Nairobi on weekends for Western comforts like internet, hot showers, and toilet paper!

Public transport to town was fun to navigate; I found that you can actually fit 4 people on a 150cc motorbike!

To throw around some (very) rough figures, often small African farms might only achieve a third of the potential yield of their crops. In one farm extension project in Western Kenya, farm incomes are often around NZ $640 a year. Not a lot for a family to live off. Around 70% of the worlds poor live in rural areas, and developing agriculture is a key way to help alleviate this poverty.

One morning on the farm I was slashing back cactus to make way for a new drain. All of a sudden, a boy up the hill starts yelling, "nyama, nyama" ("meat, meat"). Within seconds, 20 boys are running through the farm, brandishing assorted hoes, rakes, machetes, and even a watering can. Running up to see what was going on, I find a very scared monkey up a tree surrounded by excited, hungry boys. The disorganised, muddy chase that followed is one of the funniest things I've ever seen. The monkey barely escaped and was luckily saved from the BBQ.

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I get really excited about the potential in places like Kenya to increase agricultural production, and also use agriculture development to get the rural poor out of poverty. I write this hoping to get Lincoln-ites thinking about the potential for using agriculture to reduce poverty. Hopefully it’s been a good bit of study procrastination material for you as well.

If you get a chance to go oversees and volunteer for a bit, I’d definitely recommend it! We have some of the skills and knowledge the world needs to deal with issues of rural poverty and hunger.

By Shaun Snoxell

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FOOD SAVING WEEK

By Dilani Kasundara Hettiarachchi

I am a PhD student (my PhD has nothing to do with food) and also work part time in the dining hall. I have been working there for about 10 months now, and from the first day I started, I was amazed at the amount of food wastage students pile up in the bin.

I was talking about it one day, and thinking, ‘What can we do to help this situation?’ I am not saying that this is the only way that the food is wasted at the dining hall but it is one place I can address as an employee and as a student.

Heather, the catering manager of Lincoln Hospitality Ltd. had also noticed the amount of food wasted on a daily basis too, so, myself and Marin, at the start of this year, started to think of ways to reduce food waste at Lincoln University.

I’m not too sure why Heather put her faith in us, maybe because we are members of PGS, but she gave us the freedom and the financial support to come up with the idea of ‘Food Saving Week’.

The aim of this week was make students aware of exactly how much food they were wasting and their role in the society to minimize it.

Myself, being a night supervisor, asked the other two night supervisors (Prathigya and Han) to help with this idea. As soon as the first semester started, Marin and James also joined us with some other friends. Together we tried to implement the idea.

The dining hall has a buffet, but most of the students are piling up their plates straight away and at the end of their meal, throwing most of it in the bin.

The reason for a buffet, is mainly to reduce the waste and anybody can pick what they like to eat and take the amount the’d like, and they can always come back for seconds. But ‘your eyes always seem to be bigger than stomach!’.

noticed, that in buffet restaurants they charge you for the amount of wasted food you leave on your plate (along with the price you pay for the original meal). I was impressed by this. Those places actually teach you a lesson in a harsh way but it is a lesson that everybody must learn. Even in our homes Mum’s usually repeats the sentence “eat everything on your plate” during every meal. But we all seems to forget what our Mum’s say! We want emphasize this fact.

Most of the students here in the University are from developed countries where they have plenty of food and water. We all know that there are many who suffer from hunger around the world. About 1/9th of people are suffering from hunger as we speak (i.e. 795 million people).

Having enough food is not a permit to waste it. Attitudes need to change, it is essential, especially for a University that has students who study and talk about “feeding the world”. We must practice what we preach.

Our goal for ‘Food Saving Week’ was to try and make students, who will be future leaders, aware about the world’s hunger during this week. To identify their own responsibility and to act accordingly.

The week seemed to be doing what it was meant to do. Students started to realise the amount of waste they unknowingly added to the bins. I noticed them coming up for seconds during this week, which was a rare experience for me during my work time. Most of the students seem to care about the food waste they generated.

Previously, the food bin was full everyday but during this week we noticed it was only full during days that meat was served because of the bone scraps. We believe our efforts made a huge difference.

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Lincoln University uses a quote ‘Feed the World’, so, I think it is necessary to address the issues of food waste from a Universities point of view. This effort is just the start of what we see as an on-going process and we are hoping for clubs, societies and other necessary parties to come on board and help move this further for the future benefits.

I must say, that as a collective, Heather, James, Marin, Han, Prathigya, Amelia and Sarah (who joined us a later stage) did a tremendous job and that I am so glad we had such a great team. I would like to take this opportunity to thank Heather and all the LHL staff and of course the students.

Let’s not make this last for one week but a lifetime.

Only when the last tree has died and the last river been poisoned and the last fish been caught, will we realise we cannot eat money Chief Seattle

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WEIRD WILD& WACKY

With the Wild Food Festival held on Saturday 12th of March, (we hope you all went and grabbed a ride on the LUSA bus over there!) we thought we’d delve into all the weird, wild and wacky foods our species likes to chow down on.

FOODS!

WARNING: This article will either make your stomach churn or your taste buds water depending on how weird and wonderful you are!

Be sure to keep sending in your awful flatting meal stories to caclin@lusa.org.nz

Tuna Eyeball

Shiokara

Japan

Japan

OK, now this one really does sound bad. Oozy, pink-grey glob of pickled squid innards, smelling like it had been just salvaged from the green bin and then served as a wee snack!

Oh, I forgot to say, it’s also served raw.

You enjoy, I’m going to grab a bucket.

So...apparently it’s not as bad as it looks - sorry, had to be done. Tasting pretty similar to squid or octopus with none of the goo you’d normally associate with an eyeball. I just don’t think I could handle popping the sucker.

This pretty little delectable dish is made up of stewed cows feet and heads. Once a winter comfort food, has now upped its game and has become a delicacy.

It looks like a tasty stew to me if you can get past the smiling skull steering back at you through sunken dead eyes!

Birds nest Soup

Fried Spider

Cambodia

Oh how nice; a regional delicacy!

Popular in the town of Skuon. Just marinate it in good ole’ MSG, sugar and salt and then fry it in garlic. Apparently it has more meat on it than a grasshopper, but also has a brown sludge in the abdomen, which consists of mainly innards, eggs and excrement!

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Khash

Middle East, East Europe and Turkey

Southeast Asia

This wee number is made from the nest of the swiftlet bird, who, instead of collecting twigs, builds its nest out of its own gummy saliva, which goes hard when exposed to air, so they can live up high on cliff faces. So, you can imagine harvesting them is tricky business and many people die each year. Whether its ‘rubbery taste’ is worth this human sacrifice, I’ve yet to find out.

A very tongue in cheek Quiz!

SUDOKOOL

(Like Sudoku, but with a hint of cool ... sort of ... not really)

Some utterly pointless crap that you may like to learn...

1. What country has a larger surface area than Pluto?

2. What is there more of than stars in the galaxy?

A.

Grains of sand on every beach

B.

Hairs on the body

C.

The number of leaves a tree sheds in its lifetime.

3. What are you twice as likely to be killed from than being bitten by a shark?

A. Overeating B.

A vending machine

C.

Being electrocuted onstage

by a live microphone

4.

What is Scotland’s National animal?

5.

Which is not a berry?

A.

A Strawberry

B.

A Banana

C.

A Blackberry

6.

Which has 3 hearts?

A.

A Giraffe

B.

An Earthworm

C.

An Octopus

7.What is the longest time between two twins being born?

8. What was the oldest known condom made of back in the 1640s?

9. Which mammal has three vagina’s?

10. What did the Romans used to clean and whiten their teeth with?

Quiz Answers 1. Russia 2. Grains of sand on every beach 3. A vending machine 4.

The Unicorn 5. A Strawberry 6. An Octopus 7. 87 days 8. Animal & Fish Intestines 9. A Kangaroo 10. Urine

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ADD US ON SNAPCHAT & YOU COULD WIN A $30 GOOGLE PLAY VOUCHER!

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lusa.nz

AND THE WINNER IS...FRUITLOOPJADEN WITH ‘THE PIZZA’! Come into LUSA & claim your prize today!

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BRUTALLY HONEST

INCREDIBLY INACCURATE ARIES MARCH 21 – APRIL 20 Many of the people around you will turn out to be lying scheming bastards, this week. You are ready for a fall this week after some good luck in the recent past.

Horoscopes TAURUS

GEMINI MAY 22 – JUNE 21 See how clever you can be today by attempting to count your lose change inside your pocket WITHOUT taking your hand or the money out.

Damage caused by rage might cost you around $250 this weekend.

Avoid posh bars.

APRIL 21 – MAY 21

CANCER JUNE 22 – JULY 23 Many things that people say over the coming days will appear nonsensical, but may start to make sense towards the end of the week. Terrible things will happen to someone you hate today. You may feel joyous... simultaneously.

LIBRA

Many of the people you admire are going to have incredible fortune this week. It turns out that the anti-stalking court orders they’ve filed against you are completed.

AUG 24 – SEP 23

LEO JULY 24 – AUG 23

It’s going to be one of those days, I really, really apologise. This horoscope may self-destruct in 10 seconds. We wouldn’t lie to you.

OK, that’s a lie, we think you’re gorgeously beautiful.

Ten to one may seem like fair odds, but then how likely are you to be able to successfully breed Pandas with Llamas (a Panama)? Life will throw many things at you over the coming months, including a book-shelf which you probably should have ensured was fixed more firmly to the wall.

SEPT 24 – OCT 23 Breaking out of your shell is best done sooner rather than later. Time is on your side, feel free to mix-it-up a little.

Many of your problems can be solved by sitting down with a pen and paper and doodling pictures of cats and perhaps tornadoes.

VIRGO

SAGITTARIUS NOV 23 – DEC 22

SCORPIO

Take a coat today as you’ll need it if it rains or becomes slightly colder than usual, or if you happen to be caught out whilst parading naked around your local shopping center.

OCT 24 – NOV 22 Ensure your blood stays within your system today by not venturing further than your refrigerator. The older you get the more you’re starting to realise that everyone else is an idiot.

PISCES

CAPRICORN

FEB 20 – MARCH 20

DEC 23 – JAN 20 Paying more than $700 for a lollipop could prove fiscally unsound. Vacillate on key decisions, particularly those requiring prompt attention.

Explore a career in taxidermy.

AQUARIUS JAN 21 – FEB 19 Lunchtime is the best time of day for you today. You are important, at least as important as the discovery of the dock leaf when you were stung by stinging nettle as a child.

Although danger is never far away, you may have an exhilarating time in the coming days. Wearing gloves may make you feel like you’re a master criminal, but you may be best to avoid wearing gloves with your name emblazoned on the palm.

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