Soulmate Automatic

Soulmate

Lucas

Automatic

Restivo

To The Nation Of Serbia

Untitled For practical purposes, let's assume I don't know.

What I've found found me.

I'm not a little baby!

I’m the difference, which is always hysterical and profound…

Sure I'm still charmed driving over a river / under a bridge.

I won't apologize for the bigger, the better ringing so true or the signs I've missed on a clever phrase.

There's a nuclear capacity in a sigh and the band aid stuck to my shoe might as well be a rudder.

World building begins as soon as you realize it doesn't.

There are no take backs if I've ever loved you.

If intensity is the mark of the beast then I'm horned up.

If hunger is humanity then do you have a napkin?

I’m afraid I'm bleeding and covered in crumbs again!

I don't know where I am, again!

When I do it'll be the beginning of when I don't again!

And there’s my favorite word again!

Other than (do I always need to state the obvious?) my name from someone’s darling lips!

Soulmates You're going I'm staying.

Staying is another going depending on who's teeth you ask. Time and place.

Haunt me at certain times and places, I might just call you the love of my life, which is not to say I fear the moment I see you. Do soulmates exist and how much belongs to imagination?

Does it even matter

Soulmate Feels like I'm fighting fate or is it time? Friends are coupling, bubbling away. Our new micro climates clash. Chemistry leads to desire, desire to control, and control kills both. I'm not on an island. I’m not an island.

Sameness exists only in concept.

I try not to be so lazy, but I’m a dirty boy. It leads me to hell and you and back again, and I have the great big balls to call it romance. Shouldn’t that win me something?

I’m not not asking for a cottage, or to get the hell out of my own way from time to time. How many of my feet are planted in reality? I have only two. In a material sense, my idea of love must make little sense. Soulmate by trial and error. Erosion of something I’m not so sure exists.

My life keeps getting smaller.

Do I call it refinement

Smoke Rings I step out for a smoke once all the witnesses are gone.

Sail me away, captain. My true self against the buoys of others.

Hehe I name my baby mechanism.

I crumple the paper, I toss it in a tired metaphor. I am the paper! You are the paper!

I feel in sounds and everything is a verb! Language is the litany of a coward and you can't win! I'm certainly not losing. I’m writing for the few who understand the terror. A passing conversation freezes at my dilemma.

She laughs a fuck at whatever privacy I violated. Fuck off. She's backwards.

Aren't I? I don't hear all that good.

I have no claim to anything but gratitude.

I scrub yet into you again and again and again.

Then the door is locked when I’m ready to return

Went For Broke (Again) Not in the cards or of the cards?

My love made a clown wear a clown mask and pull the trigger.

All those springloaded pies for the fool I’ve always been.

My father crying at lunch.

Your indifference.

This time less permission to hurt.

I know the map, I drew it.

I can't seem to find anything.

Whatever Lord

Offhand America loves a technicality.

Step sisters

Red Nose Suit Of Armor Preaching to the choir and the choir doesn't listen for free. I can play a long, long game.

Gratitude is intimacy, a sort of stillness.

I'll try my hardest to be the most gracious clown in the circus of self humiliation. The next thing to break my heart I'll know as familiar as a flower squirting water

Ugly Hat Oh the hysteria of hello!, the fear at the heart of hope. A wishing well is my favorite mirror, I’m gay like a fairytale. I can drink myself completely.

Clear beginning and end, an illusion is work and where it ends is real work.

Love is ugly like that sometimes. Now you are everyone. Sometimes I want to call you and I don't

Lost Glasses If you can't see the beauty in how I'm terrified to tell my mom I lost my glasses, then I don't know what to tell you.

I'm thirty.

She holds little power over me outside the symbolic, which I allow and she knows and we play along in small tribute to the time when these dynamics were real and mattered and I am so lucky for the whole cycle that never dies between parent and child.

I’ll always be your baby boy.

Anyways Ma, I wrote you this to let you know about the glasses thing.

I learned from the best.

I'm sorry.

I'll be over for dinner

real soon

The Moment I should have walked back up the stairs

Over Walking home in a light drizzle, the fog hangs on the night sky like a thumb print on a camera lens. I've worked all day now I drink. A hot toddy, a sweet song. I think of you. I go to bed

For Whom I Don’t Dare That escapism is tied to love may be inescapable as escapism.

I won't whip myself over pleasure unless it’s for pleasure. Jk. Unless? Dad! No seriously I fell for you in part because how easy it seemed in my head.

In the dark crowded room of friendship, you fit.

None too eager to impose, one of us, one of us.

You can hang and I want you to.

That's not escape, that's the thing itself.

You are not my life but you are my life

Be The Fool It's in the idea that a lie can tell a greater truth.

The base of love could be selfish need which accomplishes something extraordinarily selfless.

I break my heart in belief

Autistic The door slams, I stutter.

A n engine turns over, habada habada habada. Mouth still mouthing weird, the boulder is still a boulder, the mountain a mountain. The zoo of mirrors doesn’t change the holiness of a hunt. Every day I have an obligation to try to make the real a little more cartoonish

Tenderness Do or don’t.

My thoughts come in threes. You come in yes or no. The bulk of my day, circling the drain, I want an excuse to not want to scrub other people’s plates. If you think I'm weak I’ll bite until blood, reshuffle your life in a sentence.

But I settle for cliches. A kiss before bed, the long night

Walking Around Give me an out I dare you. I’m stupid like that. It doesn’t take much to send me on my happy way

Fight And Flight (Dancing) There’s gusts of wind in the ceiling swirls, the slug burger is on special.

Hunting season requires a permit and I still dress in neon in my neutral tones. Won’t you come a little closer?

Your humpback tells the story of your solitude, it’s learned, it’s yesterday when I tried to jam a printer into my wallet, my wallet into my computer and the whole turdurken into the vacuum of my loneliness.

My dick into a Chinese finger trap.

I boogie down with the best of ‘em. Survival of the freest and I’m always your clown, baby.

I wear my big red dancing shoes everywhere.

What’s a slap on the wrist to a slap across the face? To a hit job? I’ll dance my way out of the board meeting.

The stakes are high, I’m always prepared and not.

Composure is a hush to a whisper and you are the whole world whispering around the block.

Won’t you come move me closer

Users The ivy league of interesting, cotton in the wind. My sweet ass on the can. Every day is an email.

Every day I’m in love and I’m late.

Do you think I don’t realize what you are doing?

You need to keep the lights on.

I have the thighs of a runner

Above Center Do the work, not that work.

Make something of yourself, circumstance, time. I want to go home, not that home.

Feeling the cloudy day. Things are normal

Love Is Stupid (I Am) I faced the world, made a fool of myself.

Down the lazy river, out the jug, I cannonballed off a waterfall, claimed a big splash.

I served my time voluntarily. The next best thing was always around the corner. I couldn’t see for shit. The clouds rained shit, after awhile movies were made about shit clouds and I walked into every wall on account of all the shit everywhere and told myself this is growth, this is strength, scars are a sort of muscle, otherwise, well you know what happens otherwise. Whether stupidity has purpose doesn’t matter to me.

I go looking for love instead of letting it find me

The Boat You were talking to me in the living room, I had one hand on my holster / phone. Later, sleep would torment me like a tickle.

The day,the week, years, it's all happening at once, always.

I tell myself I am alone.

I have missed the boat

Snatched The problem with dating an artist is you have to.

If you care, you engage with the portfolio.

You sit your sweet ass down and do the work of their life’s work.

Should you be given a prize? It wouldn’t hurt.

Should caring be good for something? Probably not. You’re not in the business of marketing yourself.

The world is built a bear trap in a sand trap made of quicksand, in the most market friendly course in the universe.

Sometimes your work feels like it’s off ramp. But your tone, your use of color?

I could bob on your line for a very long time, I think

Giver The reel of my future is the pond of my past.

I was flossing with dynamite wire, you were playing hopscotch with your shoes tied together.

A walrus could become president and I’d believe it.

Hell, I’d even campaign.

I’m not ruined, in the traditional sense. I’m not one of those people with narrative tied so tight around their neck they can’t breathe. I have something to give everyone I meet

Do you I don’t advocate and this is good.

I hope you can exhale. This page isn’t for therapy.

So many great words get ruined before they can get great.

No turning humanity into pathology. No more using words like pathology. The exposition lies to you.

It’s a primer, nothing more than delayed gratification, devastation.

Right now I have no reason to need you the way I do, but I do

Greater Proof The world is a great big beautiful scam!

Wood tile, pulp wood, it’s the greatest blessing that you can’t be sure of anything! for the love of God, the love of whatever is at the base of everything! Good source material for good money in the cosplay, nothing has changed in a long, long time.

I’m talking thousands of years, I’m talking out my ass.

Conceptually, I have no reign on time, no understanding other than I woke up.

What better start to any day? Today I woke up.

Checked my phone for you and when you weren’t there, I went back to sleep and woke up again.

Praise be for nothing is more difficult than what comes easy, and the opposite is true too. If the world is one function,let it be twisting people into subjectively pretty bows

What It Takes To End The World The custom in accustomed is a dagger in my throat.

Better than in the back, am I right? Please tell me I’m right. I’m hard right now.

Like difficult to be around and maybe the other way too.

I could puke. Some days are so clear. I think, at most people should have no more than five or so essential functions.

What I mean is an empty slice is still a slice of the pie.

If you’re the type to implode, let it grows more and more imperceptible and then get at me, What would you like to do to me? I'm all ears and open legs.All I need to leave the house to like having a house.

I go to the same four places, and if you aren’t there, well, sometimes, it’s like you don’t exist.

I won’t make you a device of appreciation. I will just forget

Or She wills an orchestra out of an assembly line.

I exorcize solitude. Or exercise. My whole life depends on the difference

Choosing Good On the walk to work I could cry and for a change, it has nothing to do with work. Shit’s good man, I sense someone somewhere is speaking about me, in a foreign language, perceptively too. What a blessing to be so vain.

When the days are this good nothing matters, you know what I mean? I’m laying in the grass and it’s not an audition for the cemetery. Not to be a trauma whore, but it can be so overwhelming to be alive.

The child ahead of me keeps looking back.

I think she's walking home from school. I know I can look menacing.

But I’m really not

Christ 2 after Rob The animals in the clouds are not my fortune, but my sixth first sip could be.

The streets were paved with foxholes last week.

Partner, it always feels like quitting time.

I’ll take one electrical shock, please, a fork for your outlet, I’m in love, I’m in love, I’m in love and I don’t know who to tell. Love is a pig standing on a cow and calling it wings.

In terms of trying, no one tries harder than me.

In terms of goal posts, I’m always on the move.

I could wipe a tattoo clean off your body, I could kiss the lipstick onto your lips.

The landfill of my youth has been recycled into a tote bag I keep empty for you

New Is Old The fear at the heart of excitement is clay for some, marble for others. I worked one until it became the other and learned nothing useful along the way.

Look I made you into something you are not again. Look my disappointment is always mine

Okay Can't gas, can't brake, can't go nowhere, can't stay. It started, now there's nothing else.

A chase I’m not supposed to entertain.

Let me cook you pasta.

Let me make it from scratch

Friendship Is The Highest Love Discernment, I’ve only entered the day’s arena on your blessing.

Now love says open, fly without your bladed wings.

I couldn’t kiss you.

I couldn’t even think of it.

It was all I could think of.

How wrong could the moment be my new friend

Typography Of Seduction 2 Any verb will do to the desperate man in the back of the room

Typography Of Seduction A man walks into a bar, a man believes in anything.

A man thinks he can fly.

A man jumps.

A man falls a little further, a little closer

You And Me Some are vessels.

Some are receptacles.

God, find me a word for you that is not a word.

If you are light, could I be your shadow?

If you are today, could I be tomorrow?

Could I be the gold to your green?

Could we always say exactly what we mean?

No Illusion. No Allusion. You I walk the long hallway, peek-a-boo, I’ve found you.

The calendar pages, poor blankets, kindle.

The associate descriptors time manipulates.

There’s a staircase that creaks in want.

It wants stillness.

It wants to dance.

I’ve rotated your shape in my mind. I have no room for deception.

I want you. Now

Chambers Both master and butler.

A plate, a clean counter. of demands. After dark a figure sneaks to the piano, while the other sleeps in their room. The day is sung docile and imperfect.

Dreams are night’s inescapable rooms.

A mother, atmosphere without gravity. A pillow held high above a sleeping face that looks like mine

Cosmic Everything in balance. Love and terror. Boredom and calm. Shirt and pant. Meat and bread. You make it look so easy and that’s so hard for me

Bridge Or Tunnel It’s all corners.

Beginnings end, mouths part, my own mouths a prophecy in a kiss, my first faith, I pray is not enough.

For you I pray twice

Coming Of Age I bodyboarded a big wave, my bed, Victoria’s Secret television, balanced on a boner. I didn’t know what I was doing, it was earth-shattering, I didn’t want to play with my Legos no more

Home Hello! Welcome to my home.

It doesn’t look like much, but a construction site rarely does.

Here’s my bed, there’s my kitchen, there’s my pile of concrete.

My door is always open because I don’t have a door.

The draft is always present

Intro Hello! I didn’t see you there. Won’t you devastate me?

I’m familiar only with the after and the after is always unfamiliar.

You in your mink lab coat.

Me in my whatever it takes.

I ask for the regular disembowelment.

Fill me, with what? doesn’t matter.

The hollowing is holy, your smile is all teeth, and I’m wide open

Rendezvous Point These thoughts are not thoughts.

The trail leaves footprints as souvenirs.

My eyes are not what they used to be. I don’t know how anything lasts.

Do you want to go on a long walk?

Are you happy staying inside too

Neverend I don’t know what they want other than what I want seems to be at the heart of what they do not.

Please don’t go.

I just opened a bag of chips.

There’s still left beer in the bottle.

We are not young anymore

Vain Fucked in the American way.

Chewed up, spit out, patho logical. I consider the alternatives.

Conviction is manipulatable.

I dance my heart around the subject until it becomes the object and I am the subject I’ve always been

What I Want I didn’t want to kiss you, I didn’t want to end up in your bed. I didn’t want the night to end

What Leaves I’m so lucky.

I get to think about this night, about you, for as long as it takes to forget

Firestarter Is the crumpled paper in the corner affection or decoration?

A nightstand, a naked mattress on an unfinished floor, I do not dream of interior design.

A still lit cigarette crowds the ashtray. Are you the wind or the open window? Am I ash soaring the room

The End Of Ends or The Dogleg Of Independence Do you want what I want?

I’d guess not.

You have everything you need. I have everything I need.

Don’t you see the tragedy?

No Excuse The morning after, I sleep in. I put on my good shirt, again, I talk real good. I listen to music while I write, I have no rules anymore.

There are no excuses left

Gum Last night is the morning gum I chew to stave the hunger of an empty fridge.

I’m mangling you.

With memory, I am sucking out the essence until it’s pure texture, material, exercise

Open Wide I put on a shirt too nice for work, I walk your way as soon as I can.

I smell like relish and body, or body and relish.

I shaved myself unevenly, again.

Spindling or kindling, I can’t change for anyone else.

I smile with my eyes closed in the red dot of your camera

Fixing Wings To A Pig Every question is a betrayal.

Here I lay my tenderness, bare as intent. I want to hold you. I want to know what I want. I want to be where you'll be in a year, two.

I want to do good.

I want to do the impossible with you. I want to be impossible with you

Morning Came The goodness in you inspires the fear in me.

I’m mangled. A toy soldier covered in dog drool. One night, night didn’t end. There was nothing no one could do about it. Then you

Main Course The bell rings, ding ding ding, chum or chummy?

It feels like two strangers who know each other in an instant.

There’s no such thing as a free lunch but there are quick meals.

Take your time, chew slowly.

I’m not

Me As Deal What’s there to offer?

A suggestion?

I can be a werewolf and whisk time away like batter.

A flick of the wrist, a cake in your window.

Is this goodness?

Lord I’ve been trying. Do you see it? Is it

Emergency Exit What I’ve wanted all along is opening a door in front of me.

This is passage, otherness, in and out. Does the presence of the camera make the shot?

Does it look good?

Helplessly In Good God God is good and I’m terrified of what I think.

I’ll never be inside your skull.

I’m supposed to find this enchanting.

Good God, let me love what you can hurt but only if you must

Soulmate(s) (Reprise) Taste the sun Taste the rainbow I'm growing skeptical to ideas Instant soulmate Instant ramen Instant chemistry is only good for a good fuck Soulmates are not born They’re bred The end