Being Inclusive & Accepting

How we can be inclusive and accepting A message sponsored by Child and Adolescent Services

By Joseph Fisher, LPC, School-based therapist

June was Pride Month. For many students, having a trusted adult may make all the difference between acceptance by their family and community or facing struggles. A trusted adult is a parent, teacher, or coach. When adults function in a heteronormative society, it is difficult for individuals to want to express their sexual orientation for fear of rejection from loved ones. For this reason, it is important to normalize that there are many different types of relationships. By doing so, we increase a student/child’s comfort in talking to trusted adults about their sexual orientation! One way adults can be inclusive is to make small shifts in the types of language when discussing relationships. For example: Instead of saying boyfriend/girlfriend, husband/wife, we can say partner/spouse/significant other. If a parent is curious whether a child has a significant other, they can ask “Is there someone you are interested in/have a crush on?” rather than asking if they have a boyfriend/girlfriend. Adults can be inclusive of the LGBTQ+ community by talking positively about members of the community they have read about or seen in television/movies. Individuals can display signs/symbols that show support. This can help make children feel more comfortable in coming out to you. “Coming out” means someone has made the decision to share their sexual orientation/gender identity with you. The most important thing to keep in mind is that the person who came out to you is still the same person and embodies everything that you love about them. Continue to be open to having conversations with them. It is also crucial to go into conversations with your loved one/student with an open mind and ears to give them opportunities to share their thoughts and feelings. When a child shares information regarding their sexual orientation, which is oftentimes a surprise to loved ones, it is important for parents/trusted adults to be an ally. What does that mean? First, there is no one correct way to react to your loved one coming out to you. If you are unsure of what to say in that moment, say “thank you for sharing with me.” Learning about your child’s gender/sexual orientation can be confusing or uncomfortable for you, and these are valid and normal reactions to have! You are not alone, and despite your discomfort, your child needs your support. A few examples of being an ally - support LGBTQ+ causes, listening to the stories of LGBTQ+ individuals, standing against the discrimination of LGBTQ+ people and by challenging your own biases and prejudices as well as those of others about the LGBTQ+ community. The power of love can change lives!