The Healing Power of Truth - draft

The Healing Power of Truth

The

Healing Power of

Truth

Dr. Mary Casey

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The Healing Power of Truth

In memory of my twin brother, Michael Christopher Casey who, through his death, made clearer to me the importance of finding the Truth.

I am forever grateful.

He is forever in my heart.

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DEDICATION This book is dedicated especially to you, the reader.

No matter how you stumbled upon this book, like all things that show up when you need them, you are meant to read it.

My intention is that this book will help you find the Truth that is within all of us — the Truth that will help us become who we are meant to be and, as a result, live healthier, happier, more fulfilling and more peaceful lives.

I also want to remind you that you are not alone; regardless of our unique differences, in one way or another, we are all travelling the very same path.

Mary Casey

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All artwork imagery and text Copyright © 2023 Dr. Mary Casey All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced in any form for commercial or personal use without permission from the author. Inquiries can be made through ????????.com.au

Disclaimer The theories outlined within this book are based on observations, knowledge and real life experiences. The author does not recommend they be used as a treatment for physical or psychological problems without advice directly or indirectly from a physician or psychologist. The author also assumes no responsibility for any actions taken by readers.

The intention of the author is to offer you information that will assist you in your pursuit of spiritual, emotional and mental well-being.

The Twelve Steps are reprinted with permission of Alcoholics Anonymous World Services, Inc. (“AAWS”). Permission to reprint the Twelve Steps does not mean that AAWS has reviewed or approved the contents of this publication, or that AAWS necessarily agrees with the views expressed herein. A.A. is a program of recovery from alcoholism only – use of the Twelve Steps in connection with programs and activities which are patterned after A.A., but which address other problems, or in any other non-A.A. context does not imply otherwise.

Graphic Design by: Geoff White Cover image photography by: Tracy Greig Artworks painted by: Dr. Mary Casey ISBN: First Published: 2010 Revised Edition Published: 2023

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CONTENTS Chapter 1

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth

Page 22

Chapter 2

Denial

Page 22

Chapter 3

Choices, Choices, Choices

Page 22

Chapter 4

Trust and Love vs. Fear and Doubt

Page 22

Chapter 5

Body, Mind and Soul

Page 22

Chapter 6

Self-Sabotage vs. Self-Discovery

Page 22

Chapter 7

Food for Thought and Exercises

Page 22

Chapter 8

Change

Page 22

Chapter 9

True Stories

Page 22

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ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS I wish to acknowledge firstly Patrick and Grace Casey, my parents, for making me the person I am. They taught me all they knew, for which I am truly grateful. Even though I have let go of, or challenged and changed many of their beliefs and values, I will be forever in their debt for the unconditional love they expressed in every way they knew how.

I would like to acknowledge my late husband, Valentin, from whom I learned great lessons, especially during his eighteen-month illness. He remains in my heart forever.

My sons, Jake and Ben, are my pride and joy, and I would like to acknowledge their continuous love, support and beautiful friendship. As well as being great women, I feel doubly blessed with their chosen wives, Joanne and Belinda. They are wonderful mothers to my grandchildren, Cole and Gabriel, Sebastian, Simone and Luke.

To my wonderful partner, Warwick Fuller. I appreciate your unwavering support and love on a daily basis. How blessed and grateful I am to have you. Your amazing children, Shannon and Cristie, and their beautiful children—Trinity, Ashton and Jupiter—add even more joy to my life.

My brothers and sisters (especially my twin, Mike, who passed away during the revising of this book), their partners and families—I thank you for your love. You, too, have made me who I am. I am blessed to also watch your children, my nephews and nieces (great and great-great) grow and thrive.

I wish to express my appreciation and gratitude for all the people currently in my life— relatives, friends and work and business colleagues. Each one of you, in your own special way, fill me with much love.

Tracy Greig’s photography featuring on the cover of this book adds worthiness to what I am teaching; to appreciate and learn to be in awe of the beauty of Mother Nature, which is Truth in its finest detail. My thanks to Tracy for sharing her gifted talent of capturing this Truth.

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INTRODUCTION Over the past decades, there has been much evidence to support the theory that healing is a mental process just as much, and in some cases more, than a physical one. Healing that has occurred purely by a change in thought or with no medical intervention has left medical practitioners and theorists baffled. Because this healing power cannot be seen or explained, it is difficult for most to believe it.

I believe that the unexplainable healing that can take place is through self-discovery of the Truth—the Truth that we have the power to be healthy, happy and to have a life we love and enjoy. I’m not claiming that diseases, cancers and illnesses exist only in the mind. What I am saying is that in many cases they can be self-made. I explain this in detail throughout the book.

There are numerous diseases and illnesses these days, and while some may not be selfmade, I am of the belief that many can be cured, slowed down or managed with minimal or no medical intervention. I believe that stress, past traumas and ongoing negative emotions are the underlying cause for many illnesses.

Over time, we have learned certain beliefs and values that are not the Truth. We have been living by them and have never questioned if they are true or right. They can be damaging if we live by them. I have provided many examples for you to ponder.

My theory is that the Truth is deep within every one of us, and we need to gain the awareness to learn how to go within to find it. I believe that if we delve deeply enough through layers of deception about ourselves and life, that we believed to be true, we can find the real Truth. When we recognise, challenge and change deep-seated beliefs and values about ourselves or anything that does not give us pleasure, peace, good health and happiness in our lives, not only will we find a life of peace and fulfilment, free of stress and illness, but we will realise that much of what we think is not true, unnecessary or completely out of our control.

How then do we discern the real Truth from what we believe to be true? Without going into too many theoretical and complex dichotomies (of which there are many), the theory that I like best for us to find the real Truth is to only ever look and feel within, never without, for our answers. The teaching in this book is for the reader to learn to be able to discern real Truth from false Truth. This is achieved through a deep and honest analysis of the self, to know and understand who we really are: perfect.

It is through this particular skill of knowing the self that the knowledge of real Truth is developed for healing, health and happiness. Past experiences, what was learned, how 12

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one was raised, and therefore what one believed to be the Truth, have developed into inadequacies, such as weaknesses in character, inhibitions, unmanageable emotional wounds, unhappy relationships, addictions, disorders, anxieties, jealousies, deep-seated fears, ill health (both physically and mentally) and so on.

Because of these inadequacies, inappropriate behaviours and negative thoughts become the norm, and in turn, affect and harm one mentally, emotionally and physically. It makes perfect sense, then, that the origin of most suffering and illness is a result of choices that are made that come from deep-seated beliefs, values and learned behaviours that are simply not in accordance with the real Truth. The good news is that feelings, thoughts and emotions can be changed at any time when one learns and understands the Truth.

Learned negative feelings, emotions, beliefs and values that are believed to be real are carried through life, and they remain within, and are at the core of all decisions, behaviours and choices. These negatively affect one’s self-esteem and self-worth and how one operates as an adult. Most importantly, as a result there is a lack of inner peace and harmony.

My aim is to provide you with information that supports my theory and to help you identify your real Truth. Some parts throughout the chapters are repetitive. I have done this purposely as a constant reminder of the importance of Truth and how it affects every aspect of one’s life.

I have used a capital ‘T’ throughout the text for the word ‘Truth’ as I believe it is a powerful word and will hopefully make it deeper and more meaningful to you.

It is interesting that when one is ready for more information and wisdom it begins to turn up—sometimes out of nowhere. For those who are unhappy, fearful or have health challenges, this book is an opportunity to get to know yourself better, to find a Truth deep within that may have created or contributed to unhappiness, bad relationships or illness. If life is not everything it could be, here is a chance to turn it around to the best life possible.

In the back of the book is a journal. There are questions that, if answered with honesty, can provide insights that were not in one’s awareness or that one may be in denial about.

Every person is different, and we are all doing our best at every moment. However, in one way or another, we are all striving for inner peace.

I gain much satisfaction in sharing this information with you.

With love, Mary 13

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CHAPTER 1

The Truth, the Whole Truth and Nothing but the Truth We all have different Truths. What one person thinks is the Truth may be very different from what another person believes. This very fact makes it difficult to define what Truth really is.

Throughout history, there have been numerous definitions and theories about Truth, all of which are plausible. Most might agree that if something feels right or sounds correct, it is more than likely the Truth. The problem with this credence is that one’s mind only functions within the limits of what one has learned. Minds can be immature and gullible or fearful and narrow. Therefore, it can be a struggle to discern the real meaning of Truth.

Where people think they live in Truth, they are living according to what they believe is the Truth. What is often claimed as Truth can be completely unfounded.

For instance, stealing can be seen as far from the Truth. However, if it is done to feed a starving child, the whole concept changes. In this situation, it is what is relevant in terms of the intention behind the deed.

How, then, does one know how to differentiate between the real Truth and that which is devoid of Truth? ‘Know thyself’ was one of the very first affirmations by the famous Greek philosopher Socrates, who also claimed that the unexamined life is not worth living. In other words, only by understanding and knowing who we truly are as individuals will we find the real Truth.

Psychology affirms that there is a collective unconscious that is shared by all humankind and is identical in each of us. It is an additional psyche that we possess, which is a collective system that has been inherited from one original, absolute and authentic source; it has not been developed individually or personally. In other words, there is something innate in each and every human being that we all share equally—a primal instinct. It can be referred to as the soul, the ‘I am’ higher self, or many other distinctions, including Truth.

This collective unconscious (Truth, soul, higher power, etc.) is more hidden in some people than in others, depending on ancestry, upbringing, and/or culture. It makes sense then, that because this universal, instinctual foundation (Truth) exists within all of us, there is a pull when we deviate from it. It may be ignored, refuted or deviated from; however, at some level—be it mental, physical or emotional—there is a struggle against it. Stress, illness, apathy, discontentment and so on are no more than a detachment or disconnection from this Truth.

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This same knowledge and data are within us and can teach us what we need in order to have peace, good health, joy and happiness. These are the ingredients of Truth. Access to this Truth can be learned and developed.

To know oneself at a deeper level, one is more apt to differentiate between Truth and unTruth. Like developing and strengthening a muscle, it is possible to develop the real self—a higher self that knows the Truth that sets one free from emotional pain, such as hurt, fear and turmoil, as well as physical pain and illness.

The Truth Has Been Lost Humans by nature are flawed and therefore not perfect due to our upbringing, culture and life experiences. Our strength, however, is the ability to make choices and improve—to get to the Truth. We tend to get side-tracked by beliefs and values that have been made up along the way through generations.

The Truth has been lost over many centuries because of technology, power, control and science. Ancient medical theories and practices have also dissipated over time. Psychology (the mind), medicine (the body) and spirituality (the soul) have become separate fields of study, and this is one of the reasons for a separation of mind, body and soul. As a result of this separation, humans have lost touch with their deeper self: the soul, where the Truth lies. If we do not know our deeper self, we will live a superficial life, continue to live in denial and not have an opportunity to find the Truth. There are a series of exercises in Chapter 7 to help reconnect body, mind and soul.

Dr David Hawkins MD, PhD is a widely known authority in the field of consciousness research. Along with other experts, he is recognised for his calibration of energy to discern Truth from falsehood. His work is fascinating, and he has written many books on the subject of energy and power. After studying his work, my conclusion is that it is only when one is true to oneself that one’s life is light, stress-free and content. This has been an incredible personal experience and journey that needs to be shared.

Until recently, there has been no significant or substantiated means by which to identify Truth from falsehood, but through the study of consciousness—the bringing together of both spirituality and science (faith and reason), as opposed to one and not the other—a resolution can be enabled. Because consciousness could not be seen, it was never studied. In recent times, though, there has been a 16

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major breakthrough and consciousness is now a part of scientific theory, whereby it has been proven that observation can in fact alter an outcome.

In experimental quantum physics, scientists have discovered that particles behave differently depending on whether they are observed or not. As a result of the developments of consciousness research, it has been revealed that Truth does exist and can be tested by way of energy. This is explained in more detail in Chapter 5.

This research reveals what Truth means, and it has led to the conclusion that, as with love, there are many components involved in its definition. Another realisation is that the components of Truth are, in fact, all the same as those of love. The ingredients are endless, however, below are some fundamental elements of both Truth and love that make them seem one and the same: • Knowing the self to the degree of loving yourself above all else: This does not mean to be selfish, self-centred, narcissistic or vain. It simply means that one loves oneself enough that anything that another says or does has no effect on one’s self-esteem or self-worth.

A favourite author, Louise Hay, wrote in her book You Can Heal Your Life that by learning to love yourself, you can actually heal your life. I met Louise in 1997 when studying her course in San Diego and can say first-hand that it did in fact heal my life at the time. While I have continued to study and learn more about myself, loving me was the first and most important step to healing physically and emotionally.

• Respect for others: Know that everyone is equal. Have complete respect for everyone, regardless of who they are, what they do or where they come from.

• Respect for oneself: This means to respect and take good care of one’s body at all times—physically, mentally and emotionally—with healthy food, thoughts, feelings and relationships.

• Unconditional love for everyone: This is loving everyone without condition.

No matter what someone has done or not done, working through one’s own pain rather than judging another person is the answer. Learn to accept others for who they are and love them regardless. When we love unconditionally, we release hate, jealousy, resentment and anger.

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• Implicit trust: This is to trust in life, trust in people and trust in oneself. It also means not controlling anything or anyone that one has no control over.

• Being real: This is to live with an open, healthy and wise mind that is free of biases, opinions and perceptions—doing what feels right and honest. In other words, it means having integrity.

• Allowing: Allow life and everyone in it to flow like a river. Resist trying to control.

• Forgiveness: Forgiving is letting go of destructive patterns of holding grudges, resentment, regret, anger, hatred and similar emotions. Forgiveness is about working on oneself, and doing so, sets one free.

• Peace: When one has peace within, one knows it; there is no question about it. Peace is love and love is peace. They go hand in hand and equal Truth.

These ingredients are great measuring tools to evaluate one’s level of Truth. If, for instance, there is constant resentment, anger or lack of love and trust in life, it is a good indication that one is not living in Truth.

The Truth Has Been Distorted The Truth has been distorted over time by various influences. Most of us were raised by people who wanted others to learn their way. They were raised by people who wanted them to learn their way. Everyone has different beliefs, values and Truths. Therefore, humans are diverse and, in many ways, disconnected.

The Truth is also distorted constantly through the media, television and radio.

Writers, speakers, politicians and leaders have great power. Too often, they exercise their power with a distorted understanding of the real Truth, with no sense of responsibility. Politicians decide the country’s policies and laws, and the Truth is often manipulated. The track record for speaking the Truth is unfortunately not always good, and people these days are sceptical or suspicious about the information they hear. ‘We’ll believe it when we see it’ is the attitude of most.

It seems as if life is a façade in many respects, simply because the Truth often seems superficial and distorted in so many areas. As a result, trust deteriorates among humankind. This is unfortunately the case when we do not communicate 18

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at a deeper level. Most do not know how to. This is due to many factors which will be discussed in later chapters.

Today’s justice systems are, at times, corrupt; workplace systems, tax systems and governments are not transparent. Unfortunately, it appears that society is in a state of denying as opposed to seeking the Truth. One way to resolve the problem is to begin with ourselves. If we start by learning and living our own Truth, it will filter through to our children, our families, our communities and beyond.

This sounds like a Pollyanna view, suggesting that the world can become a perfect place. While this is unlikely, one must start somewhere. The old saying ‘Teach by example’ is the premise. The adage ‘So within, so without’ means the same thing.

It stands to reason that if one learns to be completely honest with oneself as well as learn to trust one’s gut instinct in all areas of life, healing can then take place. This book has been designed to help the reader arrive at a place within that allows knowingness beyond all doubt, so that a better understanding of the Truth can be found.

Look further into whatever it is that creates doubts, anxieties or fears and examine them from that deeper part within. This applies if an area of one’s life is not going well. Learning to go within, be honest and look deeply for one’s own part in that area allows the Truth to be discovered. Being in any type of negative state— sickness, fear, anxiousness, addiction, anger, all of which cause stress can, rather than be viewed as overwhelming, be viewed as a gift, because it is a perfect opportunity to probe and find what lies beneath.

I have recently discovered the work of Dr Gabor Maté who talks about and provides numerous examples of the connection between stress and illness. He shares his experiences and insights about his patients, both those in palliative care and those with addictions, and reveals the importance of understanding that childhood trauma plays an enormous role in how one is as an adult and what can be learned by examining childhood trauma. I highly recommend his books, documentaries and latest movie, The Wisdom of Trauma.

When one is learning to do something new, a teacher can be very helpful. Being willing to learn and being prepared to step outside one’s comfort zone is also 19

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required. The teaching is provided in Chapter 7 with questions that will help you find the Truth. This is in conjunction with honest self-reflection.

‘The Truth Will Set You Free’ The Greek philosopher Antisthenes stated, ‘The most truthful piece of learning in life is to unlearn what is untrue.’ Realising that something one has believed to be true since childhood, which caused self-hatred and stress, was not true provides much relief and healing. The stress that was attached to the belief can disappear—in some cases, immediately.

Examples are too many to document, and it is important that readers find their own examples. However, a few have been listed to hopefully provide a better understanding of the fact that there are countless types of beliefs and or values that have caused stress, pain and angst that can be challenged and discredited, including statements such as the following: • You are too fat • You are very different • You are bad • You will amount to nothing • You are not good enough • You are stupid • You can’t do that • You are not smart enough or deserving enough These are all statements that are not true. In some cases, having nothing said can also be damaging. Not receiving praise for something deserving can cause hurt.

Lack of encouragement or support can leave a child feeling alone and confused.

Parents’ expectations can also cause trauma to children. This can often be felt without any communication.

All parents do the best they can without a doubt, despite their intellect, their 20

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status, who they are or what they do. It makes no difference. Neglect, abuse, lack of boundaries, hurtful comments and name-calling are all contributing factors to one’s beliefs and values, especially about oneself.

Louise Hay’s teachings to love yourself and heal your life have gifted millions of people with the Truth that they are lovable and worthy, and that the negative beliefs mentioned above cannot be true of a child. Louise in her books and courses has students look at their parents’ childhoods so they can better understand why their parents said or did the things they did. Understanding this makes forgiving much easier and allows one to let go of and change one’s negative beliefs to positive statements about oneself. These become positive affirmations to be repeated constantly until they become one’s beliefs.

So one’s upbringing plays an enormous part in what one learns as the Truth. It is not only negative or cruel words, but also unwarranted negative actions that cause children to repress emotions, act out, develop inappropriate behaviours, feel insecure, feel shame and have other detrimental beliefs about themselves, others and life.

So, too, does the opposite affect children. Lack of loving and positive words and actions create the same outcome. Neglect is every bit as damaging.

Many of us have been emotionally wounded or scarred, in one way or another, due to certain experiences—some worse than others. Emotional wounds can be healed relatively easily. Emotional scars, on the other hand, can take a lifetime to heal. To demonstrate this point, consider wounds on the outside of the body.

When one has a wound that does not hurt too much—a graze or a small cut—one takes good care of it, and it heals easily and quickly. After it has healed completely, it does not leave any marks. One would not know after a while that the wound was there. As a result, it is forgotten very quickly. In contrast, a deep wound that requires stitches or a large lesion that needs to be removed, regardless of how well it is taken care of, still leaves a scar when healed. Obviously, it was deeper and much more painful than the superficial, small wound.

The same principle applies to the inside of one’s body on an emotional level. If one is deeply hurt, abused or neglected as a child, the emotional wound is deep; it will leave an emotional scar that takes hard work and a lifetime to heal, should one be fortunate enough to do so. If, on the other hand, emotional wounds are 21

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minimal or superficial, they will heal and can eventually be forgotten.

In the same vein it is interesting to note how the impact of a comment or a situation can have a completely different effect on people depending on their past emotional wounds/scars and personalities. Personalities can differ enormously.

For example, some can be very strong, stubborn or unshakable, while others may be a more sensitive type—quiet, serene or nonaggressive. There are countless personalities. No two people are the same, and therefore their perceptions can differ dramatically.

Being a twin is a perfect example. In my case, my brother and I were like chalk and cheese in many ways. While we were very close always, we perceived things very differently, and it was evident that those perceptions had varied outcomes for us. We discussed this many times over the years and accepting each other for who we were came easy.

Students being called stupid by their teacher can cope much better if they have high self-esteem, that is, they have minimal wounds or scars. Someone with low self-worth, on the other hand, with deep emotional wounds or scars, can be deeply hurt by such a comment.

Emotional scars can last a lifetime. Cruel and destructive messages/words or hurtful experiences that constantly scarred one’s heart and soul are very difficult to work through and let go of. They are deep internal, invisible injuries that sometimes people never allow to surface so they can find the Truth. They are too afraid of feeling the pain again or opening that can of worms, so to speak. Their life revolves around the wounds and scars, and as a result, they have unhappy and dysfunctional lives and relationships.

A child does not have a choice. However, as an adult, by learning from this book, you can now find the Truth and work through and better understand how your life came about and gain more insights and wisdom. Living with deep emotional wounds is like having a volcano inside one’s body which can eventually erupt and manifest into full-blown mental or physical illness, dysfunction and/or addiction.

Beliefs that decisions are based on, have been passed on to us often from generation to generation, by parents, teachers, politicians, clergymen and significant others. An insightful observation is to examine one’s shoulds. When one believes that they should do this or should do that, one feels guilty when one 22

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doesn’t do it. By examining one’s shoulds, one can gain much awareness.

If, for instance, when growing up you were taught that you should respect and be good to your elders, you need to be aware and know that this is not the case if those elders are not good people or have hurt or abused you. Shoulds such as these create false beliefs and confusion. For this reason, when growing up you trust and respect the wrong kinds of people.

Many people over time have been held in high regard when they were in fact cruel and mean. It is extremely confusing and conflicting for children to be told to respect someone who abuses or is cruel to them. As adults, they have addictions, health issues and dysfunctional lives. These people are then judged instead of being understood.

Much of what one thinks one should do can be changed instead to what one could do, giving a choice rather than feelings of guilt. Beliefs need to be critically analysed and challenged, especially beliefs about oneself. Thinking badly about what one does, how one looks and how one is as a human being is due to believing negative messages that were not true.

I had many negative messages from school: You are not smart enough, you will not amount to anything, you are bad, etc. I examined these messages over time in order to understand and accept that the cold-hearted and callous statements actually defined the teacher, not me; they simply were not true. Once I understood this, it was possible to believe that I was powerful, deserving and could do anything.

Another challenge is to examine what lies unconsciously within that can cause one to be a victim, to self-sabotage, to feel guilty, to get hurt, to be manipulated or to be used and abused. A self-fulfilling prophecy is what transpires when the cause is not identified. I will go into this in more detail later in the chapter.

Interestingly, we may be the ones who victimise, manipulate, hurt or sabotage others. In either instance, our insight and awareness need to expand.

Observe your life in general. Is it fulfilling? Is it happy, healthy and exciting? Is it the life you really want? Is there peace with yourself and the people in your life?

Begin healing by getting to the Truth and listing the areas in your life that can be improved. Chapter 7 provides exercises to help with this. There are many 23

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questions that expand thinking and increase awareness in order to heal emotionally, physically and spiritually.

Through years of experience in nursing, counselling and psychology, I have found much evidence that diseases, syndromes, addictions, minor ailments, even cancers and terminal illnesses can often manifest from suppressed emotions, unresolved destructive belief patterns and values that lack integrity. Emotions like guilt, shame, anger, hate, bitterness, resentment, regret, hurt, sadness, fear, loneliness and trust issues can lie dormant for many years but will eventually manifest physically and/or mentally.

To demonstrate how this can manifest, imagine children who are told by a parent or someone else significant in their lives to not trust anyone. They have fears and anxieties because they do not trust people as a result of others who held the same conviction. Those same children, when older, are anxious and fearful because they do not trust other people, which can damage trust in themselves, their decisions and their choices. This snowballs into feelings of worthlessness which lowers their self-esteem and confidence.

This can be passed on from generation to generation. Breaking the cycle means finding the Truth and understanding that it is not necessary to have that old belief. One needs to be willing to let go of and change that belief.

Behaviours are developed to back up what one believes. For example, when a mother tells her child that people cannot be trusted due to her own belief, the child soon learns not to trust anyone. The child will then unconsciously seek out people who cannot be trusted. Such a deep-seated belief creates a standard against which one measures everyone one meets. This then backs up the inherited belief: ‘Mum was right—people cannot be trusted.’ This cycle becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

One can only imagine the build-up of negative emotions from living like this. It is living with a volcano within which eventually erupts. This is just one example of learned beliefs and values, and there are many. The beneficial exercises in Chapter 7 reveal many of these. It is never too late to learn, undo the past and gain wisdom.

Another lesson to finding the Truth is to stop worrying about the future or devoting time to worrying about the past. Additionally, being concerned about 24

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what others are doing, or trying to second-guess what others are thinking, is a waste of precious time. It is not possible to have control over these types of things, so thinking this way achieves nothing. Who knows if plans are going to go ahead? By all means, make plans. If they work out, great! But if they don’t, so be it.

Go with the flow: love and trust in life, know and trust that everything happens for a reason. The reason is to learn from everything, good and bad (what is thought of as bad can often have a wonderful outcome down the track). Realise and accept that every situation and adversity is a gift. Often, when things do not go as planned, something better happens. It may be that in missing out on getting the dream house, an even better one comes on the market. A job may be lost, which seems devastating; but another that is much better, with greater benefits, can appear.

Once this is understood and believed, trusting in life eventually becomes easier.

Choices can be made to create a better life as opposed to thinking one has no control over such matters.

The year 2020 has been a perfect example. In Australia, there were droughts, followed by horrendous bush fires, then floods. Many lives, both human and animal, were lost. So too were forests and businesses. People with mortgages were without work and families were desperate. People rallied and helped each other, raised funds and assisted where possible. There was good that came out of these situations. It seemed that most people were in the same boat and there was compassion like never before.

In thinking that there is a reason for everything, the philosophy could be that compassion was lacking and very much needed. The situation also gave many an overwhelming sense of appreciation for all that they had.

The same principle of untrue beliefs applies if the belief is that one is not good enough and will never amount to anything. Imagine what life is like with those beliefs? It doesn’t encourage choices but rather breeds unworthiness, which in turn creates an emotionally painful life.

It is important to understand that happiness does not come from material things, desires or money; it comes from a place within—a place of love, peace and contentment—regardless of what one has or has not. We tend to be confused 25

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with this concept, thinking we will be happy once we make a lot of money or once we get our dream house, job, car, etc. Waiting for that ‘something’ to make you happy is putting good energy in the wrong direction. Put that energy into making yourself happy first and then seek what it is you desire. Happiness comes from within, never without. Answers, too, come from within, not without.

I have personally experienced this very principle. When I turned my focus from being desperate to make money to instead appreciating everything in the moment and saying thank you for everything in life, in a short time things started to change. Life unfolded in a way that had previously not entered my consciousness. Watching the sun set or rise, and being grateful for good health, became a habit. I had to let go of the desire to make money and also understand that happiness could not come from outside—only from within.

Habits Many of the negative beliefs and values we learn as children become habits.

These are patterns of behaviour that are acquired by doing them repetitively.

Often, habits are unconscious. Some bad habits are so ingrained that it can take years to break them. Below are some of the habits that are learned and often lived, and by which we avoid the Truth. Having awareness and understanding of them is what brings about change—or the willingness to change.

• Little white lies: These are small, superficial lies usually told so others don’t get hurt, for instance, saying yes when friends ask if they look OK when, in fact, you do not think they do. Little white lies are not used to avoid confrontations or to get out of trouble; they are told simply to avoid hurting others.

• Exaggeration: Fundamentally, most people like a little bit of drama and storytelling. The reason one exaggerates is usually because there is a belief that one might be more acceptable or liked more with a better story.

• Minimisation: This occurs when we ignore or misconstrue the consequences of something, for instance, describing an incident as minor when in fact it was major, or saying ‘we just had a few words’ when in reality there was an angry confrontation.

• Avoidance: Avoiding or not dealing with a situation allows the situation to escalate. When this happens, a small problem can snowball into something very 26

The Healing Power of Truth

destructive. This happens due to fear, lack of assertiveness or lack of confidence.

• Secrets: Secrets are another way of not dealing with something or a situation.

Keeping secrets can mean denying reality. Secrets can be kept for several reasons.

However, at some point, a lie will need to be told to someone.

• Deflecting: This is where people in denial deflect attention from their lie onto something else. For example, someone who is caught out telling a lie will change the subject and get the other person to focus on something else.

Learning to examine one’s own deep-seated beliefs, values and habitual behaviours to find the Truth is like a new science in a sense, or a new psychology.

It can be challenging and confronting as it brings up fears that are entrenched. It is not the norm to do this, however, with discipline and persistence, it can become a part of everyday life. It is the same as learning a new way to communicate or learning to play an instrument.

Personally, it has taken me many years to do this: first to learn better ways to communicate (still learning) and then to examine my reasons for feeling stressed, upset or angry as opposed to allowing these to accumulate and cause destructive behaviours. Admitting weaknesses, fears, failures, shame, hurts or feelings of low self-worth is hard to do. The fact is, however, that when we do admit such feelings the Truth is being revealed and that is healing in the best way possible.

Not expressing one’s Truth is denial, and while it may seem unhelpful to be in denial, it is in fact a coping mechanism. It can also become a habit. More on denial in the next chapter which explains the reasons for it.

Quite often, when people are diagnosed with a serious or terminal illness or there is a catastrophe in their life, they immediately turn to something or someone spiritual; a course, a priest, prayer, meditation, a support group, a church, spiritual healers and similar sources of comfort. They start searching for something. But what they are really searching for is already within them. It is the part that they do not know or accept; the part they are not in touch with; the part they deny; something they didn’t know they had—their inner wisdom, guidance, soul or spirit. All of these are the Truth. This is the place within us that provides calmness, peace and healing.

It is my view that, on an unconscious level, everyone is soul-searching. Most are 27

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looking for ways to feel better, do better, have better or be more knowledgeable or skilful. This may sound unlikely, but if the opposite is considered, there would be no desire or want for improvement in terms of more peace and joy in one’s life. We do not need to learn more, just unlearn what we learned that isn’t true.

A Pertinent Example of Finding Truth A woman who came to me for counselling following surgery for cancer recognised and accepted, over time, that for many years she had lived in denial. This gentle and lovely lady admitted that her husband had had affairs all their married life.

It was her belief that her job was to stay at home to cook and take care of the children while her husband stayed out late. Most of the time she did not know where he was or what he was doing.

Her husband treated her very badly. They were wealthy financially, and she had everything she wanted in terms of a beautiful house, car, the latest fashion and the like. But she said she had no real freedom.

She was now in her mid-fifties, had no confidence, no respect for herself and felt that with her illness she didn’t have the energy to do anything about it. She had been in denial for many years. Deep within she believed that this was all she deserved. At some point in her life she had learned and believed something (beliefs and values) that caused her to distort her own self-worth. These included her mother living the same way; she followed in her mother’s footsteps, and it was a cultural belief that was acceptable, whereby the man of the house made all the decisions and had the freedom to do what he wanted.

She became aware of the unfairness and inequality and making the choice to let go of those beliefs and values was healing. Such beliefs contribute to ill health and lack of happiness. Letting go of them gives rise to self-worth and high selfesteem, happiness and good health. It is the lack of self-worth that causes people to attract someone who will have no respect for them. It is the law of attraction and the self-fulfilling prophecy that was mentioned earlier.

This lady spent time reading, listening and learning about how to love and respect herself. She eventually began to feel peaceful within and amazed that she had found her Truth. Unfortunately, she had been diagnosed in the late stages of her disease, and while the surgery gave her more time, she passed away within eighteen months.

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On the outside, this lovely lady, who everyone thought they knew, appeared happy. On the inside, however, she was completely the opposite. Her inside and her outside were not congruent; she did not live her Truth. It is interesting how others would have seen her as lucky, maybe envied her and what she had. This reminds us of the old adage ‘never judge a book by its cover.’

The story shows that when one looks deep enough, awareness and happiness can be found. The changes that often must be made may seem overwhelming or too difficult. Counselling or support groups are available for this very reason. When one has awareness, changing the no-longer-needed belief or value becomes a choice.

Sadly, my eldest sister rang me after reading the first edition of this book and told me that she didn’t think she could ever begin to ‘open the can of worms’ and face her inner turmoil. She suffered a massive heart attack soon after and passed away. This is one of the reasons for revising for a second edition of this book; to further share the importance of feeling the pain and finding the Truth.

Love and Truth Energy can be positive or negative. For instance, if tuned in, one can experience walking into a room or a meeting and feeling either positive or negative energy.

Energy is explained as the sum of all vibrations generated by brainwaves by everybody in the room. Love is positive energy; it can be felt. The way to feel love is to experience it.

Think of someone or something (maybe an animal) you really love and notice the feelings associated with that thought. Words used to describe love include warm, special, passion, affection, emotional attachment, devotion, forgiveness and desire. In many cases love can be described as overwhelming.

Love and Truth are connected and inseparable. It is therefore important to analyse one’s inability to love or to receive love—or, in contrast, one’s ability to hate, criticise or judge others. The inability to love or the ability to hate provides many good lessons and opportunities to ask oneself what it is that causes such negative feelings. Finding the answers leads to finding inner peace. This is what is meant by ‘finding the Truth is healing’. Not doing so is unhealthy and living in denial.

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Beliefs and values are deeply embedded in our mind, heart and soul. If they don’t give a feeling of love, we can be certain that they are not Truth. They are an indication of emotional scars that need to be felt and expressed. Feeling the pain plus expressing that feeling equals healing.

If one has been hurt, let down, betrayed or manipulated without ever dealing with the pain, one is left debilitated and so lives a life of doubt, fear and pretence.

Living this way sets one up to develop addictions and become disempowered and helpless, manipulative, controlling or physically ill. When people are like this, rather than judge them, it is important to look beyond and understand that there are scars and deep-seated pain.

This does not mean that one must endure such behaviours. If possible, learn ways to work around such behaviours, or, if that is not possible, consider your own health. It may be a case of disconnecting from the person if need be. Healing yourself is the number one priority.

Forgiveness Forgiveness and love also go hand-in-hand. They are ingredients of healing.

The number one step to forgiveness is to work on yourself. You will know when you are healing by the way you feel about forgiving others. Working on forgiving someone who has hurt you is too hard. In fact, I don’t think it is possible. When self-healing takes place, forgiveness automatically vanishes. There is a sense of freedom, harmony within and contentment. These positive feelings can alleviate resentment, bitterness, anger, hate, addictions and ill health.

When affected by someone else’s behaviour or attitude we are given another gift—another powerful lesson. As hard as it is to accept that no one can make us feel anything, by doing so, we are taking responsibility for our own feelings. In the words of Eleanor Roosevelt, ‘No one can make us feel anything without our permission.’

Blaming others for our own negative feelings is denial. Trying hard to understand our own part in a situation is taking responsibility. We can, with much inner work, love the person and know that forgiveness was never necessary; it was an experience where we received a gift of insight and awareness. Time and dedication to ourselves is essential to achieve this.

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(Note that this is not the case for childhood trauma. The same principle applies about healing the self, however, taking responsibility relates to being responsible for healing, not for a child’s part in the situation.)

In the profound words of Dr Hawkins: As a serious spiritual student, one has to resign from the self-appointed duties of being one to judge, correct, control, direct, change the world and express opinions about everything. As a serious spiritual student, one is no longer obligated to continue these chores and, instead, they are turned over to divine justice. Inasmuch as the mind has no idea of what reality even is, relinquishing these former duties will be a relief and also bring an end to a lot of guilt.

It is therefore quite helpful to give up ‘causes and rallies’ for the oppressed, downtrodden, other victims and sentimentalities. Each person is merely fulfilling their own destiny; allow them to do so. With detachment, it will be observed that most people enjoy the melodrama of their lives.

Sometimes there can be a feeling of loss when forgiving and letting go of someone who has been in one’s life for some time but has caused much stress. What has occurred is that one has outgrown the person. This can be sad, especially in a situation where, as well as stress, there has been great love. Holding on to someone who causes one to have negative feelings escalates until a crisis is inevitable.

Something relinquished for one’s highest good is never lost. It is merely Mother Nature at work, making things happen that lead one to a happier and more joyful place.

Illness and Truth My theory is that lack of insight and not knowing the Truth about the power within can contribute to illness. We hold on to old, learned beliefs and patterns that cause us to be powerless over our health and other areas in life that are not Truth. Truth has the opposite effect and contributes to healing.

When there is suffering, be it from pain, health issues or mental or emotional disorders, it can at times be obvious that a person is in denial. Hence, these symptoms contribute to the manifestation of ill health, both physical and mental.

This, in my experience, is common. The example above explains this perfectly.

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Remaining in a relationship that makes one feel undervalued, emotionally empty, sad, useless and unworthy for many years must eventually affect every cell in the body negatively.

The same applies to all diseases. People work in stressful jobs that they hate going to every day. Others stay in abusive relationships year after year. A controlling mother can keep a child from happiness just to serve her own selfishness and need to control. A father may have abandoned his child or children emotionally and/or physically leaving them hurt, sad or angry. Doing too much for others and putting oneself last is just as damaging. All are a sign of lack of self-love or the need to be loved. Either way, it is about knowing the Truth; that we are worthy and deserving of life’s best.

After years of these types of stressors, it is no surprise that people have health issues, cancers or other diseases. The question is not ‘why did they get sick?’ but ‘why wouldn’t they get sick?’ This has been a common thread in many cases throughout my years of nursing and counselling. Western medicine does not take one’s social or emotional life into account when a diagnosis is made. It seems to be slightly improving, with some doctors asking questions around such areas.

Unfortunately, it is never part of the treatment for patients to make changes in the areas of life that are destructive and contributing to ill health.

To heal, one must go within, analyse and be honest about what it is one is failing to acknowledge and understand. Gaining such an insight can heal. This is not easy, because when one is wired a certain way from an early age, it takes much time and energy to change. To gain insight is one thing, but to then change is another and most difficult.

Dr Maté, renowned for his amazing work and research into childhood trauma and the connection between illness and stress, talks about several factors in childhood, such as emotional programming, psychological coping styles and experiences that have been negative or painful and become chronic. It makes perfect sense, then, that chronic stress will take a toll somewhere in the body and disease will, and does, manifest.

Breast cancer in women, in particular, has been an interesting subject of discussion.

I have personally observed that childhood trauma and certain conditioning plays an enormous part in, and is, a major contributing factor to breast cancer and other diseases such as some of the auto immune diseases. Stories of sexual 32

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abuse, neglect and unsupportive environments are a common thread.

Finding Truth is an experience; it comes from within. It is already there and one needs to learn to access it, understand it, know it and trust it. Doing the work in Chapter 7 will help with this. The premise of The Healing Power of Truth is that the more one lives in Truth, the healthier one will be.

Another important reason for not living in Truth is that one’s ego believes it knows best. The ego is unenlightened. The difference between the ego and one’s Truth is that the ego operates only in the past and the future, whereas Truth is in the present moment; the here and now.

Meditation has been a major contributing factor to many who have healed themselves because of this principle, as it takes one into the present moment.

Imagine letting go of all past negative experiences and resigning from thinking or worrying about tomorrow, the day after or what lies ahead. We would be in a state of peace.

Anger, regret, inability to speak up and resentment fill our cells with negative energy, which can only accumulate and eventually manifest somewhere in the physical body. This then lowers one’s immunity. As biologist Bruce Lipton writes: … we are living in a transition time. It’s a time of releasing old beliefs and of learning new ones. Loneliness, anger, isolation, fear and pain are all part of the old fear syndrome … We want to move from fear into love … In the Piscean Age, we reached outside of ourselves and looked to other people to save us.

In the Aquarian Age, which we’re entering now, people are beginning to go within and find that they have the power to save themselves … Some people get frightened because it seems to be responsibility, but it is really our ability to respond to life, not in a victim way, but in a way that empowers us.

It’s a wonderful feeling when you don’t have to be dependent on the outside or another person and instead know that you have within you tremendous abilities to make positive changes in your life. In her book A Return to Love, Marianne Williamson writes: Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate, our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure … it is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened 33

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about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you … As we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, we automatically liberate others.

The Truth is within each one of us. It is lack of awareness that keeps us from tapping into that Truth. Below are some examples of Truth and unawareness: • Truth is that everything that happens in life is for us to learn more about ourselves.

Unawareness is not understanding that life is one big lesson and everything that happens is for a reason. In every situation, no matter how negative or painful, there is something to learn.

• Truth is loving and caring for one’s body and feeding the body with healthy and nutritious food and exercising it.

Unawareness is looking outside of oneself for answers or blaming something or someone when the body is sick or not functioning as it should.

On a personal note, at around thirty years old, I had constant severe chest pain with bouts of hospitalisation, at times in the intensive care unit. Despite many tests, there was never a definite diagnosis made. In hindsight, it is obvious that as I was trying to be a good mother and a good housewife, and at the same time working in a full-time career, leaving not an ounce of time for relaxation or pleasure, my body was screaming out to stop and rest. When you don’t get the message, your body will keep trying to tell you, often by way of illness and pain.

There are many similar examples, and it is now being comprehended and acknowledged more and more that the body will tell you everything you need to know.

• Truth is being responsible for one’s emotional state. Happiness is an inside job.

Unawareness is thinking negatively without realising or thinking about the past and worrying about the future. When unaware, one seeks a cause for unhappiness and emotional turmoil outside of oneself.

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• Truth is caring for one’s spirit by loving and appreciating oneself and looking only for the good.

Unawareness is criticising and putting oneself down and failing to love oneself.

There are more examples today that illness can be brought on by strong beliefs— ones that are not true. For instance, many believe that they will acquire a particular disease or illness because ‘it runs in the family’ or ‘there is a strong family history’.

The belief is so strong that they are bound to acquire the disease, and they do.

This is being unaware of one’s own personal power, a major contributing factor for one’s health status.

The opposite occurs for those who strongly believe they are not susceptible to the fact that others in the family have or had a disease, or they do not believe that they will acquire the disease or illness. Being determined to remain healthy regardless of family history can also alleviate the manifestation of disease. As Buddha said, ‘We are what we think. All that we are arises with our thoughts. With our thoughts we make the world.’

Learning to change how we think through awareness of such fearful beliefs can alter our health status. Many people have been healed simply by realising and acknowledging negative emotions, feelings and beliefs harboured for many years and choosing to let them go.

Louise Hay, who I mentioned previously, was diagnosed with cancer and cured herself by examining her thought patterns and beliefs and changing them. She did this holistically along with the help of good nutrition, exercise and health professionals. Louise believed that it was how she thought—her beliefs, deepseated resentments, anger and how she felt about herself, things that she had harboured for many years—that created her cancer. Louise was in her early forties at the time and passed away at ninety-one years old. Her life was an example of finding one’s Truth.

While it is important to seek medical help if diagnosed with a serious illness, to combine alternative ways of healing with medical advice and/or treatment, is becoming the more holistic approach. It gives one an opportunity to examine one’s life and make better choices regarding relationships, how one lives, what one does and the beliefs and values around these. The lady in the previous story had deep-seated beliefs that one should stay in a relationship no matter what, 35

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which is a typical example for many people.

The excuse can be that it is for the children, for financial reasons or for concern about what others will think, especially family members. Despite being miserable, bitter or feeling as though life is being wasted, these people continue to maintain and live those beliefs and values which can be deep-seated and difficult to change. But in fact, staying in an unhappy, unfulfilling marriage or relationship for any reason is destructive, deceiving (to oneself) and painful to children, family members and others.

I have observed in many counselling sessions that when two people choose to stay in such relationships, the pressure of repressed emotions affects other family members. It is often the case that a child is blamed for bad behaviours when, in fact, the child is the emotional dumping ground for all the negativity between the parents. The build-up of emotional tension must go somewhere, and a child is often the scapegoat. In addition to this, escalation of emotional tension causes stress, which in turn, over time, causes illness.

It is important to try everything possible to salvage a relationship, however, suffering emotional turmoil when saving it is not possible, is being unkind to oneself. It creates confusion and pain for all concerned.

Some beliefs may be passed down through generations. Beliefs could have come about from family members who were powerful due to their status and position; they made the rules, and the rules were never questioned. For instance, in times gone by, power struggles developed because the father in the family made the rules and decisions or the schoolteacher had the power and was not to be questioned. Priests, other clergy, doctors, lawyers, teachers and those in similar positions of power are very rarely questioned, less so by the average person. What they say, mostly, is believed as the Truth.

In fact, everyone has the right to question and be assertive in all situations and with all people regardless of who they are or what their status is. We are all as powerful as each other. Beliefs and values that cause stress, confusion or fear need to be examined for their legitimacy.

When an illness develops, it is wise to first dig deep for signs of ongoing stress that could be a contributing factor. Personal experience has revealed that stress has been a common denominator in almost all illnesses. In the case of heart 36

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disease and/or high blood pressure, many admit to years of stress due to a variety of causes, including work pressures, anxiety, unhealthy diet, excessive alcohol intake and financial problems.

All of the above can be changed in a moment, however, it is much easier said than done. It can take years of undoing, unbelieving, disregarding and challenging such negative patterns, morals and standards and exploring where and who they came from. In doing so, we reveal the Truth which can and will heal.

As pointed out earlier, a constant negative state of anything other than peace, happiness, love, positivity, etc., will negatively affect the body, the immune system, the mind and the spirit. A wonderful and dear friend many years ago explained that many of the ‘man-made religious laws and rules’ were destructive and have left many people living in guilt. It makes one wonder how many people developed illnesses because of the guilt they carried and how many continue to do so. It is for this reason that to have good health one must confront damaging and destructive beliefs that cause guilt, shame, anxiety or fear.

Wrongdoings in the past need to be surrendered and one must move on. The past cannot be changed. The Truth is that we are human and make mistakes, so it is important to forgive oneself and live guilt-free.

Control and Impatience vs. Truth The need to control and being impatient go hand in hand and constantly work against the harmony and serenity one deserves. Control and impatience resist and defy Truth. These are energy-draining bad habits that will lead to physical, emotional or mental issues. When the focus is on controlling, one becomes impatient and intolerant. Impatience and intolerance exist only because things are not going the way one wants, or others are not doing things the way one would like them to.

Whether the control is over people or situations it does not matter; the principle is the same. It is not Truth. It will cause stress, anxiety, insomnia, constant frustration and intolerance. Continuity of any of these negative states suppresses the immune system and eventually leads to ill health. Controlling personalities are a mask for insecurities, fears, and/or emotional pain. It is important to learn and understand this and begin to examine oneself and, if necessary, learn to 37

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overcome the need to control. There is help to do this in Chapter 7.

Obviously, this is not the case when it maybe one’s responsibility to control, such as when a person is underage and/or legally in one’s care, or in the workplace where there are certain responsibilities to be overseen. But in the case of manipulation, control is a major defect whereby one does not value the opinion of others and points out others’ weaknesses and inadequacies. These types do this to feel better about themselves. It is usually the case that this type of personality does not change. Regardless, such people suffer stress-related issues.

The need to control is like an addiction. An addiction is an attempt to control painful emotions and anxiety by use of easier means. The means can be controlling and manipulating. In more severe cases, taking drugs or drinking alcohol is the control measure. Addictive behaviours are used as a way of diminishing or numbing one’s anxiety. Impatience occurs when the need to control is not proceeding as one wants. Recognising one’s need to control is the start of a challenging journey to healing.

Awareness is the key. The power within is not taught and therefore not learned. It is in the unconscious. Most people are only just coming to understand this. Until such time as it is understood, accepted and believed, change is not possible.

When the realisation arrives that everything works in perfect time and order and that most things are beyond one’s control, it is then that patience, relaxation and happiness will become abundant. Faith in life is essential to letting go of the need to control and trusting that everything that life hands out is meant to be an opportunity for personal growth. Confronting oneself, facing one’s own inadequacies and coming out of one’s comfort zone is the hardest, yet best part of life’s journey. It is said that for personal growth, one must be outside of one’s comfort zone more than 30 percent of the time.

You are confined by the boundaries that you set yourself.

The mind creates the cage.

Set yourself free and move out of your comfort zone.—Mhar Truth and Psychology There are many psychological theories that have existed for hundreds of years.

Psychologists, counsellors and psychiatrists use various methods for treating 38

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their clients with their preferred choice of therapy. Personally, I have observed that the underlying issue for people is that there is a Truth that the client is failing to recognise, and it is this lack of Truth that causes inner turmoil.

Finding and facing the Truth can be difficult. It causes emotional pain; in some cases, it can be extreme and confronting. However, to enjoy better health and more peace, happiness and freedom, it is something that must be found within, taken in hand and managed.

As stated, absolute peace in all areas of life is a good indication that one is living one’s Truth. To better understand the meaning and importance of Truth in one’s life can make way for realisation and change—I’ll provide some examples of unhealthy beliefs and values from counselling sessions.

One of the most common beliefs is that people think it is OK to be treated badly by others. People stay in jobs under enormous pressure due to manipulative people, a crazy boss or having no support. This situation is rife in all industries in Australia. People have suffered post-traumatic stress to the point that physical illness manifests and they are unable to work.

Usually when these folk present for counselling, it is because they are anxious and cannot cope. They think they are the problem; that there is something wrong with them. During the session, it is revealed that there is a belief that they are not good enough and as a result, they have low self-worth and allow others to treat them badly. This is an incredible contradiction. They have put up with abuse, sometimes for many years, with the reason being that they needed the money, however, in the end, there is no money due to being sick and anxious.

In a bad relationship, the desire not to rock the boat or upset others can be the cause of this belief. In other situations, where childhood abuse or neglect has occurred, the belief comes from lack of self-love and therefore low self-worth.

These situations are a vicious cycle in society today. The same applies in personal relationships.

In contrast to such cases as these, people with high self-esteem would not stay in a job where they were treated badly, and the same for relationships. Their belief is that they deserve better.

Another example that demonstrates the point that an untrue belief is the cause of 39

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stress and often illness, is people who constantly work unreasonably long hours, missing out on time with family, children and loved ones. They attend counselling for stress and anxiety or relationship problems. The belief is that they must work hard or they are lazy. Often, the family value is that work takes a priority over everything else. Such a belief causes people to feel guilty and worthless unless they are wearing themselves out at work. The other belief in this situation is to constantly look for validation by proving oneself to be the perfect person, the best worker, the most reliable.

There is much evidence today that suggests there are various stages in the manifestation of disease and illness that are the result of an accumulation of negative feelings, thoughts and emotions over time. There are differing opinions by many experts. Nevertheless, what is clear is that certain elements emerge that are common to most illnesses: • Illness begins when cells become dysfunctional somewhere in the body • The place where this dysfunction occurs is often a place of weakness, such as where an injury has occurred. It can also be a place where there is a deep-seated belief, such as, ‘I am prone to cancer’.

• Symptoms appear—generally mild • Many people ignore their initial symptoms • Symptoms become worse • Illness or disease has fully developed.

I believe that serious illnesses do not just happen. In hindsight, people will often realise that there had been symptoms for some time that were ignored. Negative circumstances and illnesses are not in line with how the body is designed. There are choices. Life can be happy, full of energy and vitality. We can be at peace with ourselves, others and life. Living this way is living the Truth.

Unfortunately, people have learnt to pretend. They appear to be happy even when their inner world is in turmoil. Too many people commit suicide and no one knows why. Obviously, they were in deep turmoil. Yet this inner conflict and extreme turmoil were masked and not apparent to those around them. There is nothing sadder than knowing they could have received help and support. We 40

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must learn and teach Truth.

The same principle applies to health when there is a lack of awareness. People believe that they are healthy when they may be overweight, angry, constantly sick or suffering with high blood pressure. Lack of awareness gives rise to excuses and blaming something outside of oneself. There are many more examples of this lack of awareness that generates denial. The lesson is to gain insight into the self.

If, for instance, medication is taken for high blood pressure, there is a need to ask what is really causing the hypertension. What is the diet like? Is time wasted on worrying too much about things that one has no control over? Is there stress around others that one has no control over? Is there unnecessary anger that raises its head often? Is overwork causing high blood pressure? Are there stressful relationships?

Constant pain, anxiety and high blood pressure can be caused by deeper issues.

There are thousands of books, documentaries and videos about this. Everyone is free to read, listen and learn to start on a lifelong expedition to find the Truth.

Work Only on the Self Where there is judgement or criticism of others, there also lies an essential lesson for the person criticising. As well as unawareness, judging and criticising is a subconscious scheme to avoid looking at the shortcomings of oneself. There is an enormous amount of inner work to be done on us all, and while everyone is finding fault in others, denigrating or disapproving of them, there is much insight to be gained about the self.

One can only see in others that which one cannot see in oneself. When one has progressed to a height of personal development or spiritually reached enlightenment, there is no judgement or criticism of another person. Everyone is a mirror; others reflect back to us our own inadequacies, weaknesses and flaws.

Other people are our best teachers. The more they aggravate us, the better the teacher they are, if we want to learn and progress.

Let’s say someone constantly criticises others for being stupid. This is merely a reflection of the self and an indication that somewhere deep inside, in the subconscious, there is a belief that ‘I am not good enough’ or ‘I am stupid.’ At 41

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some point during their life, the criticiser has, from someone, learned this belief and it has become ingrained and shows up in their projection on others.

Contrary to the belief that ‘I’m not good enough’ causing one to criticise, the destructive belief could be ‘I am better than you.’ These people ignorantly think that they are above and better than others. The common denominator in both cases is lack of insight and awareness, and unfortunately, unhealthy feelings, emotions and mental attitudes eventually manifest on the physical level.

While this seems absurd to some, it is a psychological theory included in most psychological and psychiatric treatments.

Put another way, when there is no criticising or judging of others, that is a good indication that a person is on the right path. The famous psychologist, Dr Carl Jung, talks about our shadow—our dark side. He theorised that we don’t connect with our dark side; instead, we learn to wear a mask to hide behind it in order to fit in with the social conditioning we have learned and grown up with.

In the example above, when people are told they are stupid and deep down believe it, that is their shadow. They are unaware that it is their belief about themselves that causes them to judge and criticise. Jung explains that our inferiority complexes are seen as deficiencies in others. In other words, the shadow does not allow us to be humble and kind; instead, it projects our inferiority complex (feeling stupid) onto others.

In addition, Jung says that everything that annoys us about others can lead us to a better understanding of ourselves. When someone pushes our buttons, we have an opportunity to look within and find the Truth. Only ever look within; do not worry about what others think and do. It is ultimately their responsibility to determine their own Truth.

It soon becomes clear that learning about oneself will create more tolerance towards others. When offended, resentful, disgruntled or frustrated, do not look anywhere but within for the cause. Others choose their own thoughts, which is their own business.

Responses or reactions, whether they are positive or negative towards another person or situation, will only ever reflect oneself. Nothing and no one can make another person feel unworthy, insecure, bad, frustrated, angry or stupid unless they believe deep down that they are unworthy, insecure, angry or stupid.

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The Healing Power of Truth

Next time you find yourself judging someone, try to identify your part in the situation by turning the problem you see in them back onto yourself. Note your resistance to doing this. What are your thoughts about it? If you are rejecting the idea that you are part of the problem, then you have just been given a wonderful lesson. These people have been sent your way to teach you more about yourself, and until you understand and acknowledge this, you will never heal and never find your Truth.

Another way to gauge what is hidden within is to look around at one’s life. It will become apparent how one is faring. If life is happy, with healthy and fun relationships and no jealousy or resentment for others, then maintain that as it reveals the true self. One’s positive energy is instead reflected onto those around them. This is better known as the law of attraction.

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The Healing Power of Truth

CHAPTER 2

Denial Denial is a defence mechanism that occurs when we ignore or distort the reality of an event, situation or person that could threaten or traumatise us. It is called a defence mechanism because when we go into denial (close our eyes to something), we defend ourselves from emotional pain that causes anxiety or feelings that would normally overwhelm us. Therefore, denial is a normal behaviour and a natural way to deal with anxiety.

My theory about the healing power of Truth is that denial deprives us of the Truth, and therefore, if we need to heal a part of ourselves and we choose to be in denial about it, healing cannot take place. Another way of putting this is that healing can only occur if we are prepared to step out of our comfort zone and face reality. This is difficult but doable.

Our bodies are amazing tools and, if listened to, will tell us almost anything we need to know. Bad backs, painful shoulders, constant fatigue and so on can be great messages to let us know the Truth; that we need to change something in our lives.

My own experience, and how I came to learn that my body is a wonderful teacher, involved a bad back that had placed me in hospital and in traction. A diagnosis could not be found. There was talk of a possible bulging disc, but I hadn’t done anything to warrant it and nothing had shown up on X-rays to confirm it. I had severe pain that the strongest painkillers could not alleviate.

My sister told me about Louise Hay’s book You Can Heal Your Life. I had my friend buy me a copy and within two days I realised from reading the book that I was in a state of guilt due to a marriage breakdown; I was feeling completely insecure financially; and I felt powerless in all areas of my life. My stress and anxiety levels were at an all-time high. I had not acknowledged any of this. I had no awareness and was in denial of my situation. I had continued to work hard to take my mind off things (denial) as it was all too much for me to deal with. But there it was in the form of back pain.

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