NFLkickoff season predictions

SHAWN RICE & BRIAN RICE SMR723@CABRINI EDU & BSRICE@YAHOO COM

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF & GUESTWRITER

The following comments are attempts at a humorous preview of the NFLseason because it is too unpredictable for any factual analysis. Take them for what they are worth but they are only opinions.

Patriots- They won the past two Super Bowls but the real reason for their increase in popularity is because all the women long to see Tom “pretty boy” Brady.

Seahawks- The best thing to come out of Seattle since the TV show “Frasier” and Starbucks (that’s some good coffee).

Titans- Their success relies heavily on the health of their QB (Steve McNair).

Panthers- The team that once again stands between the Eagles and the road to the Super Bowl.

Rams- Three years ago we were talking about them in the Super Bowl now the playoffs seem out of reach.

Chiefs - Their offense puts points on the board as easily as I do in “Madden 2005” but their defense has too many question marks.

Eagles - To borrow from T.O.’s thoughts, if it smells like an overrated team, and looks like an overrated team, chances are they are the Eagles.

Ravens - Newly acquired loud-mouth Deion Sanders promises to shake things up but will anyone even notice in this outspoken, talented bunch?

Vikings- See Chiefs.

Colts- The” Big Three” are just that talented enough to lead them deep into the playoffs.

Broncos- This could be the year that the snake finally lives up to his potential while proving the theory that anyone can get 1,000 yards behind their offensive line.

Packers - Those “cheeseheads” always manage to make it into the playoffs. Expect it again.

Jets- Kevin Mawae makes me go “wow we.” That’s all I got.

Bengals - They are much improved but does anyone care?

Jaguars- Surprise! Could be contenders but I would still choose the vehicle in giving the better performance.

Lions- There is always next year. (This young team has a chance to grow.)

Steelers- Defense was once called “Steel Curtain” but now it should be referred to as the “Paper Mache Curtain.”

Falcons - see Titans. (of course substitute Vick for McNair) They will be flightless without Vick.

Bills- All you need to know about Buffalo is damn does it get cold.

Redskins- New running back plus old coach equals same results, nothing.

Dolphins- The key word is smoke. Ricky Williams left to blow smoke and the Dolphins’ season will be going up in a stench-filled cloud of smoke.

Saints- Sing it with me, and the saints go marching home (missed the playoffs).

Bears- Da’Bears (suck).

Giants- Past great QB meets future great QB equals mediocre present.

Cowboys- Vinny Testerverde got the job because doctors wouldn’t clear Roger Staubach in time for the preseason.

Bucs- The buc stops here and so does their playoff chances.

Texans- see Lions.

Raiders- Where old players go out to pasture.

Browns- Fans are going to wish that Art Modell had moved this team to Baltimore.

49ers- Wasn’t the Joe Montana era great?

Cardinals- All you need to know is damn it’s hot in Arizona.

Chargers- Who cares about this team, the majority of readers stopped reading after the Eagles trashing to go write hate mail.